damen [literally just existing]:
nikandros: if i was attracted to a blonde man i’d keep that to myself
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I've read several posts about how Damen and Laurent's problems are basically nothing compared to what the dark rise characters go through and how they wouldn't last a minute in that world, but that's not the point I want to make, because you know who would fucking thrive in dark rise?? Nikandros. He'd take one look at this world that has come to the brink of extinction not once but twice because some dude was way too horny for some blonde, blue-eyed bitches and hit Damen with the biggest I told you so known to mankind, the sense of superiority he'd gain from this. Outstanding
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Damen: this is purely a political alliance between me and Laurent. Emotions have nothing to do with it
Nikandros, having seen every blond that Damen has fallen for in the past:
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Will I ever get over the bond between Damen and Nikandros?
Never.
Warning: this is barely a meta and more just an outpouring of love.
This simile makes me weep. Nikandros is home to Damen, is feeling earthed and grounded and rooted to where he belongs.
The ‘ekthanos’. The ‘long walk’. The Akielon rituals of mourning. The result of what Kastor should never have done, by the brother Damen should have had.
The loyalty and the love here. No hesitation. This was so healing for Damen. I truly believe that Damen and Laurent could not have come together if Damen hadn’t been able to come back to himself. And so much of the latter is due to Nikandros.
That Nikandros is willing to risk his life like this just for the memory of Damen, to keep him alive in his mind. That he carried it on his person, a keepsake to remember Damen by always.
Nikandros doesn’t love Damen because he was the Crown Prince or is the King. He sees him for who he is and loves him for his unwavering goodness and unconditional love and loyalty, even if he knows it can make Damen blind to the truth. But equally, that’s why Damen loves him back. Nikandros gambles everything for Damen when he pledges himself to his cause.
Despite everything Damen has been through the one person who he can rely on never to hurt him is Nikandros. Even Laurent has hurt him in ways that Nikandros never would. Damen allows him to touch him and the pain Nikandros feels here, to know Damen was so grievously hurt.
I can't stress enough that Nikandros touching Damen is so meaningful here. It is, strictly speaking, a huge breach of etiquette to have unpinned Damen’s chiton, spun him around, touched his back. It’s out of pure shock and horror.
“Physically sick with the effort of repressing his anger”. Oh Nik.
Nikandros, who lost his father, wanted to honour him, and it wounds Damen that as the King, he has to take Ios from him. The fact their friendship survives this switch in status shows how strong it is.
He’s the only person he tells of Laurent’s plans, the only one worthy.
We also learn more of their past at the Kingsmeet:
That Damen felt a fierce pride in Nikandros' accomplishments; that he felt the loss of him so keenly.
This part always breaks my heart. When Damen returns from the Kingsmeet without Laurent and Jord goes for him:
The only who can recognises that Damen, big imposing warrior Damen, can feel pain, that he needs grounding with touch, that knows him- “…can’t you see—” he’s hurting…his heart is breaking.
And finally I love that he’s there and acknowledged in The Summer Palace, that he tried to protect Damen from Laurent in the aftermath of Ios as he didn't yet trust him:
And yet only some months later, he is teaching Laurent to wrestle, reconciled. Ignoring cute huffy Damen, Nikandros graduates to one of the few people in Laurent's inner circle and that is also lovely.
Damen having Nikandros is both a testament to how Damen, despite being the heir to the throne, treated like a god, was naturally grounded and loving, and why he remained so. True brotherhood and one of the best relationships in the whole book, a reminder of the power of your found family.
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The apricot trees stand proud and in full season when the letter arrives.
It is a warm summer night, a sky full of stars over the heads of Nikandros' family. He sits at the head of the table, the senior of the household and he is surrounded by his sons and their wives, his many grandchildren chasing each other through the gardens or still remaining seated to enjoy the last bits of dinner.
To his right, his wife takes a sip of wine and smiles at him and Nikandros thinks about how thankful he is to be granted with all of this. To live another day in a long life that has seen more days of peace than war.
He overlooks the small company they make as someone new arrives in the patio, all business and quick steps into his direction.
The Kyros is an old man now.
Over the course of his life, many letters have come and gone through his hands. Messages from the capitols, strategic correspondences on how to rebuild two countries into one. The first wedding invitations and swearing-ins in the new and rewarding peace times.
But the messenger is pale, jaw clenched and fidgeting with his hands as he approaches the table.
Nikandros nods at him and with a little less hesitation, the messenger from Arles stops the head of the tables and hands him an envelope with a respectful bow.
His hands are calm and steady as he breaks the sigil, his eyes roaming over the short message before they start at the beginning and some place deep inside of him starts to translate words into facts into reality.
Nikandros,
Although I wish my words would find you in a more adequate way, I see fit to inform you that my beloved husband and your king has passed away peacefully in his sleep.
I do not have the words, I am not sure I will have them tomorrow or on any day I will live without him. But I want you to know that in our last, happy days together, he often mentioned how he could not wait to see his most trustworthy and loyal friend again soon.
Until we see each other, soon.
Laurent
Silently, Nikandros puts the letter down on the table and watches as his thumb brushes over the parchment, its broken dark blue sigil. He doesn't feel their textures on his skin nor does he hear what his wife speaks to him, until he feels her hand on his shoulder.
He looks up and meets her and their children's concerned gaze, the younger ones in their family proceeding to eat dinner as the messenger quickly disappears down the path he has come from. Nikandros doesn't remember having dismissed him.
His love frowns and Nikandros watches himself take her hand, pressing a apologetic kiss to her knuckles before he rises and excuses himself with a short phrase that sounds like gibberish to his own ears.
He is eerily calm as he walks away, feet aimlessly carrying him into the wilderness.
At the top of the hill, he sees two of his grandchildren, cavorting through the meadow and laughing with each other. Their laughter echoes over the grounds of his home, endless and forever taking up a place in his heart.
A window to the past that isn't just the past anymore, but a time where Damianos has been alive.
His feet carry him right into the apricot tree grove and it will take almost the whole night until the Kyros returns home again, composed and with plans to leave for Vere in the early light of a new day.
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