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perplexingluciddreams · 5 months

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An exploration of gender as a nonverbal autistic

This is going to be an attempt at expressing my feelings about my own gender and queerness, as a nonverbal autistic with language difficulties, low awareness of the world around me, barely any sense of self, and so many other things that affect my ability to understand and be aware of the concept of gender and sexuality to begin with.

I tried to write this like a properly structured essay, but because my thoughts are so disorganised in general (and I have so many thoughts on this topic), I couldn’t manage that. So, I have decided to present this as if it is a collection of journal entries; that is basically what this is, in truth! You will just have to experience the disorganisation in a similar way to how I experience my own mind. The most organising I was able to do was split it up into some categories, to make it slightly easier for you, reading this. Some things that I wrote could fit into more than one category, but this is how I chose to divide it up.

I have written a lot about the words I use to describe the way I feel, how I choose those words, and how that has changed over time. My delays in certain areas of development, and the other ways my various disabilities affect me, have a significant impact on the ways I have come to understand my gender identity and the internal (and partially external) process I went through to get to where I am now.

I have no doubt that things will continue to shift and change and as a result, the way I define myself in different contexts will also change. This is just my first attempt at getting a lot of this out of my brain and into words, for other people to read.

I wrote this is many fragments, so it doesn’t flow or connect, and there may be some repetition. Each paragraph may have been written at a completely different time, and therefore doesn’t relate to the last paragraph, or the next. Some of this is just stand-alone statements, some is longer examinations of my feelings. But all of it is true to my experience of the world and of queerness.

I have never been able to express the majority of this before, so I think it is pretty good for a first attempt!

**Note: I make a reference to having speech at a point in my life. I am nonverbal due to late autism regression, and grew up semiverbal with very unreliable speech, and language issues. I had very poor communication.**

Here we go!

I am inserting a “read more” here because this is very long. Really, very long.

Part 1 - The Words

I don't really think of myself as a man or a woman, or a boy or a girl. I have called myself a transsexual man before, simply because that is the clearest way to explain to someone where I'm coming from and where I'm headed. But I don't particularly like the word "man" to describe myself. I like the word boy, just because the word is nice. But that doesn't mean I am insistent on people calling me a boy.

I choose the words I use for myself simply from what I like the sound or feel of the most. The last thing I want is to be boxed in, though. I only use labels as descriptors, to explain to other people - they are a tool to communicate something, not a set of limits and boundaries to put on myself.

I know a lot of people might read this and think "that sounds like nonbinary", but I don't use that word. Again, simply because I don't like the way it sounds or feels when i read/write/hear it. And yes, I suppose I do exist outside the conventional binary, but that would be the case regardless of whether I was transsexual or not, because of my autism. So that is not something that needs to be labeled in my opinion (for me personally). Because the conventional binary is not something that exists in my experience of the world.

I hate that there's one set of accepted terminology to label queerness - such a fluid and complex piece of identity - and that I am even more "other" if I choose to say that I AM female, I WAS a girl. I don't like the word transgender unless it is being used as a verb - transing gender. I like the word transsexual because it describes something I will DO (top surgery, eventually). And partly because of how it sounds and the pattern of typing it on a keyboard.

My gender is what I DO, not what I AM. Gender as a verb.

Socially, changing my name and pronouns is much more connected to my barely-there sense of self, and past trauma. I needed to start again, because I felt that my life had changed completely (and it *had*). I like he/him pronouns because they sound different to how i was always referred to growing up. And they simply sound nicer.

Even though I don't understand most of the social stuff that comes with gender stuff, I still have positive and negative connections to certain gender-related things. And relating to the way I was raised - it still affects me, even though I can't grasp the complexity of how and why.

I enjoy the fact that I am fucking with gender, fucking with expectations. I am a female that is also a boy. I love the contradiction.

I still call myself female, because if people really mean it when they say "gender and sex is separate", then "female" does not mean "girl" or "woman".

Most words I used to describe myself as a child were put on me by other people. I used to repeat them over and over in my mind, as if to explain to myself that that's what I am. Especially my own name. I felt that if I just repeated it enough then maybe those words would stick and feel real. They never did. I don't know what words I would use to describe myself now, but I don't think I need to know. I'm just me. No words are needed for that.

When I just exist as myself in the world, words are barely relevant. My world is so sensory-based and rich in sensations that there's no point even trying to put words to it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with creating new words for things that already have words to describe them, language is constantly evolving and different people will have different experiences that they want to describe in different ways. However, I don't think it is useful to argue for stopping the usage of "outdated" terms, as there are always going to be people who prefer those terms. Not all people are going to agree on a word that they find most fitting or appropriate, even in one community.

I try my best to examine my feelings about myself and what causes a good reaction in me and what causes bad reaction in me. And then I use whatever words I have to try and explain it as best as I can.

Often the words I have are not enough and either I cannot communicate something at all, or I try and it is inaccurate and/or inadequate.

It is very difficult for me to put such abstract thoughts/concepts/feelings into words, I lack the language for that and often also the awareness - there is so many steps to communicating something for me. For example, most people have the automatic urge to communicate things, and know that option is always there. For me, it takes mental work to even remember other people exist and I am capable of interaction with them. And of course after that follows so much more work to do the actual communicating.

For years I thought of the words "transgender" and "transsexual" as off limits. "Those are the things I am not allowed to be".

A lot of words have shaky definitions and that makes it hard for me to even understand what they mean, never mind use them to describe myself.

I would often rather use a phrase, or a paragraph, to describe myself, rather than a singular word. I really don't want to be misunderstood.

I think that the way I experience gender cannot be put into words, and it certainly can't be labeled with one thing. I'm just grateful to have the opportunity to even try and communicate these things, and to explore it openly in the first place. Because of course I would still explore it inside my own head, even if I didn't have the words or couldn't tell anybody - I was already doing that, before I had access to all this new language.

I know a lot of people don't like the word "tomboy", but since I was a kid I've always really liked it. It brings to mind a mental image of young girls (in a time when clothing for men and women was much more separated) dressing up in boys clothes, boys school uniform, and the feeling of freedom from that. I always wished people would call me a tomboy when I was a kid.

I had a feeling of "oh, that's what I want to be when I grow up", when I first learnt of what butch is. Even though I am not sure at all of my sexuality, because that relates to other people and I am never sure how I relate to other people, or if that’s even possible, especially in a romantic or sexual way.

The words I use will always be slightly "out of date", or "not right", because of the time it takes my brain to catch up with everything. I will never find words to properly describe myself in a way that feels fully correct. I live in a world of my own that doesn't need words, only the acknowledgement of a feeling inside my own head. However, that is not very useful when trying to communicate things to other people.

Some words just taste and sound like defiance.

Part 2 - My Physical Existence

With puberty, I had so much discomfort with the change in my body, not only because it felt as if I was developing wrong, but also because of age and developmental stage - I felt it was too early, I was not ready for that. Big changes are bad.

I do have dysphoria, but only really around my chest, and the way people refer to me (which is also complicated and related to trauma). And other than that, I don't care a lot about how I am viewed, as long as I feel free to express myself however I want.

Aside from my chest, I am comfortable being female. I like having a vulva (as much as it intrigues me about what having a penis is like), I don't want to change that about my body. I don't mind having a uterus (apart from menstruation, which is not fun, but it's not the worst thing ever and it doesn't make me feel overly dysphoric).

I recognise that I have a physical form. I did have to develop the awareness of that, but I do not see that as ME. I am just a floating mass of thoughts and feelings and experiences.

My body was made for me, it wasn't made wrong. There are things I need to change about this body to make it more comfortable to exist in, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it was made wrong to begin with, despite feeling that way sometimes.

Disabled bodies inherently break the rules.

Many times I have wondered, perhaps, if my chest were much smaller, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. The main thing I struggle with due to my very large chest, is the physical discomfort. It aggravates my sensory issues in a massive way, it causes back and rib pain from the weight and pressure. The ways that having a large chest increases symptoms of my disabilities are the biggest reason for needing top surgery. Gender wise, I think I would be unbothered by a more “neutral” body, where I could easily forget about my birth sex. If/when I get top surgery, I will be removing my entire chest - the end result being a flat chest - however if I naturally had very small breasts I wonder whether I would pursue top surgery at all. I’m not sure of the answer to this, I can’t imagine hypothetical situations well, but it’s something I think about often.

I find relief in having physical reminders that it is different now (to when I was a child) and I won't get hurt again, I am safe now. I now have a buzzcut that I touch every time I am scared and remember it is not like when my hair was long, not anymore.

Sensory issues and physical limitations affect my physical appearance. And, my mannerisms are affected. I cannot look how I WANT to look. How I WISH I looked. As a result, my perception of myself and my external appearance, are even further divided. My generally low awareness and weak sense of self comes into play here as well. There is such a disconnect.

Part 3 - Awareness and Understanding

I can't stick labels on myself because in order to do that, I need to perceive myself as a person first. If other people want to use certain words to describe the way I am and the way I try to find joy and comfort in this confusing and scary world, that's absolutely fine by me - words are important and helpful and useful. But I don't know enough about the character that other people see and perceive, to say those things about "me".

I don't understand the concept of gender at all really. For me being trans is just about having more of the things that make me happier and more comfortable. I don't know what it means to BE a boy, versus being a girl - just that, out of the two, I would much rather be a boy. It is complicated, having such strong feelings towards and/or against things that I barely grasp the concept of.

My (lack of) understanding of gender and awareness of the world and myself definitely impact the way I define my identity. I would like to say that I am not bothered about labels much. That, to me the human experience is too complex and varied and colourful to be fit into black and white labels, I am just somewhere on the spectrum of human, but as descriptors they can be useful. And all of that is true, however, I do have intense preferences on which words I and others use to refer to me, even if I don’t at all understand why. Those preferences have shifted over time, as well, which sparks a period of questioning and examination, every time I hear someone use a word I previously preferred and find myself physically recoiling from the discomfort.

I cannot understand social constructs such as gender and gender roles. It just add to the confusion that surrounds my brain every day of my life.

If someone views me as a woman (or a girl), nowadays I am okay with that. It definitely would have bothered younger me, because I couldn't yet wrap my head around the complexity and fluidity of identity, and how it can't always be described by words with strict definitions. But as long as people use the name I chose for myself, and refer to me in the the way I ask, I am okay with any assumptions they may make about me based on my outward appearance. Because it's me, and how I define my own identity, that matters. Not how I look to other people. And my appearance is not something I have much control over at all, anyway. The first thing people notice about me is that I’m disabled.

Part 4 - Growing Up

The stages to breaking down my identity enough to identify it as a trans experience, for me, were this. First, it was necessary to understand what gender and sex is, and that there’s a difference between the two. Then, to understand social roles assigned to male and female that create "girl" and "boy" expectations. Thirdly, to have enough awareness of myself and understand my individual experience (and be able to compare my experience to others’) enough to figure out how I feel about gender. Lastly, to finally get communication skills and the control over my life to be able to TELL anyone. This last step is a work in progress!

The way I see it, I was by default a girl when I was younger. Because I had no control then, and that's what was assigned to me. I really couldn't say what I wanted almost at all until I was about 16 years old. And one of the first complex things I finally could communicate (at a very basic level, just scraping the surface) was the gender stuff. I attempted this a lot of times before 16 but I simply didn’t have the language, the understanding, the awareness, the communication skills, etc. to get my point across. The first time I tried to tell another person about experiencing queerness, I only had the words “gay” and “lesbian” to use. I knew that these were not right, but that was all I had. The only words I could use were ones I had read or heard, from other people, and that greatly, greatly limited my ability to express my unique internal experiences. Instead of trying to find other words, I instead became very insistent upon being gay/lesbian, only because I knew it was more than that.

I have a lot of memories of scary experiences where my unreliable speech took over and blurted out scripts (delayed echolalia) about being queer (using words I wouldn’t choose), simply because I was trying to learn and understand my feelings about queerness better with watching/reading media from other people. And that lead to ridicule and more exposure than I was ready for or wanted. I didn’t want other people to know, at that stage. I wasn’t done with the processing, and I needed it to stay internal. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a choice in the matter.

I was one of those people where it was always obvious I am queer, or at least “different” in just about every respect. I have never had a choice to hide it. I mourn the fact that I was never allowed the chance to inform other people of this part of my identity in my own time, with my own words. I am grateful that I even have the privilege of writing this, but there is a reason that there’s so much to write here in one go. There is so much I haven’t had the ability to say at all, until now, and even more that I haven’t had the chance to say right.

Sometimes I have the feeling that, even in the queer community, with the accepted labels and identities, I don't fit. It makes me sad sometimes, that I couldn't fit an accepted “role” or label. I have come to an understanding that that is not what being queer is about at all, which helps. I think part of the reason this upsets me, is because I am so disabled that I will never “fit” in any real queer space with other real queer people. I am left outside, watching from the edges. I am outside of everything.

But - It comforts me that there have always been people like me, just existing in the world. We have always been here. When I was younger and had all these thoughts and feelings about gender that I didn't understand yet, had no context for, couldn't express and didn't have proof of anyone else who had the same experience - it comforted me to think "if i am feeling this, then statistically another human at some point in time must've felt the same way".

When I was younger I used to believe - queer is what people say when they mean "dirty" and "wrong". It’s what people say when they mean something worse but don't have a word for it.

My identity of being trans is simply my identity of being me.

When I think about "passing" and wishing things to be easier for me, I don't think "I wish I passed as a boy", I find myself wishing I was just a girl, and then my life would be so much less complicated. But, of course, it will always be complicated for me, because of how others perceive my autism first, before anything else. I feel I struggle to be seen as a whole human with a complex human experience, because to so many people I am just my autism. Then also lacking of awareness of gender and only knowing my own feelings - even if I was a girl, I would still have this difficulty! - but still, in this situation, I think "I wish I didn't have these feelings to begin with". I think that shows it is more about the difficulty of coping, rather than other people's view and opinion based on my appearance and outward expression.

When using words to refer to my younger self, those experiences and the way they were labeled and explained at the time does not cease to exist just because I choose to use different words for my present-day self. I am more accepting of this now, I used to really struggle with the fact that it had changed over time and my black-and-white thinking of “one or the other is true”, made it very challenging.

When I was younger, the only way I knew how to make everything “wrong” with me (autism, physical disabilities, queerness, lack of faith in God, etc.) an understandable concept, was to come up with the overall explanation that “my brain is broken”. I just thought that must be the only answer. It was the only way I could process how many things I thought were completely and utterly wrong about me.

It feels like two facts colliding when I see my birth name, and it makes my brain hurt and my understanding of the world shatter.

Part 5 - The Choice

When people misgender me, it is more upsetting to me that people ignore my choice than that they perceive me "wrong" or make the wrong assumption. I actually don’t mind assumptions much, if someone looks at me and thinks I’m a woman that’s okay with me nowadays - I understand that I appear female, because I am, and a lot of people connect female with woman (or girl, as I am often also assumed to be quite young). But I also can easily forget that someone might not know my pronouns straight away, simply because of struggles with theory of mind - I forget that other people don't automatically know what I know, that they can't read my mind.

It is upsetting only because my choice is not being respected or understood or seen, from my brain’s point of view. Having the ability and opportunity to choose the way I am addressed, the way I identify, the way I talk about myself and want others to talk about me, is incredibly valuable to me. For so long I have only had other people’s words, both for them to freely put onto me, and to use in my laboured attempts at communication. Attempting to grab onto the closest words to my true meaning and piecing them together like jigsaw pieces from different puzzles that don’t quite fit.

Now that I can write something like this, with so many words that are mostly my own, to have someone go against that (whether it is intentional or not - it doesn’t change things because of my low theory of mind, I can’t think from another’s perspective and understand that they don’t know what I know) is spirit breaking.

A lot of the parts of my transition can be (partially) attributed to different things, different reasons. I changed my name partly because I had no connection to my birth name, and struggled to remember to respond to it. It also reminded me of bad memories that I don’t want to relive every day. Having a new name was part of a necessary process of changing every part of my life so it never feels the same way it used to - at least, not in the ways that I can control. I already wrote about how I need top surgery for reasons including but not limited to dysphoria, pain, sensory issues, and so on. I love having my hair buzzed (as much as I have the occasional urge to grow it), because it feels like me. It feel different to when I was younger, and it’s a physical reminder that I am safe now, every time I touch my head or catch a glance of myself in the mirror.

Technically, with these other reasons to attribute many parts of my transition to, I could choose not to identify the way I do. If I didn’t feel a strong connection to queerness, I don’t think I would spend so much time trying to sift through thoughts and feelings and experiences and memories and holding them up against different words to see how it fits. I have basically no awareness of gender outside of myself, I can’t figure out my sexuality because I don’t know how I can even relate to other people. I could put a mental block between me and this topic, and never call myself queer or trans or anything like that ever again.

But - I DO choose to collect these parts of me, and spend the time holding them up to the light and squinting at them from every direction, to come to align them with these words. That is my choice.

I am the same person I always have been, I just get to choose now. I have the power and control.

Thank you for reading, if you got to the end! I love to know that my words are seen by other people.

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she-is-ovarit · 6 months

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Detransitioner news

I have been thinking about detransitioners lately and wanted to compile articles I have been seeing. This will be a longer post and reblogged for part II as I hope to copy and paste brief portions of the articles under each headline.

Law firm for detransitioners opens in Dallas

In all of the controversy around gender transition, there is one group that is persistently marginalized by both the right and left. They are known as detransitioners — people who decide that they want to return to their birth gender, often after receiving years of interventional care, including surgery, to treat their gender dysphoria. Now, the nation’s first law firm focused solely on representing these patients — many of whom feel abused by a medical system that encouraged their treatment — has opened its doors in Dallas. It could forever change how hospitals and doctors approach what’s known as gender-affirming care.

Archive link

Fenway Community Health Center in Boston, the largest provider of transgender medicine in New England and one of the leading institutions of its kind in the United States, was named a defendant in a lawsuit filed last month. The plaintiff, a gay man who goes by the alias Shape Shifter, argues that by approving him for hormones and surgeries, Fenway Health subjected him to “gay conversion” practices, in violation of his civil rights. Carlan v. Fenway Community Health Center is the first lawsuit in the United States to argue that “gender-affirming care” can be a form of anti-gay discrimination. The case underscores an important clinical reality: gender dysphoria has multiple developmental pathways, and many who experience it will turn out to be gay. Even the Endocrine Society concedes that many of the youth who outgrow their dysphoria by adolescence later identify as gay or bisexual. Decades of research confirm as much. Gender clinicians in the U.K. used to have a “dark joke . . . that there would be no gay people left at the rate [the Gender Identity Development Service] was going,” former BBC journalist Hannah Barnes reported. Rather than help young gay people to accept their bodies and their sexuality, what if “gender-affirming” clinicians are putting them on a pathway to irreversible harm?

Due partly to Shape’s lifelong difficulty in accepting himself as gay, his lawyers are not taking the usual approach to detransition litigation. Rather than state a straightforward claim of medical malpractice or fraud, they allege that Fenway Health has violated Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act (ACA), which bans discrimination “on the basis of sex” in health care. In 2020, the Supreme Court ruled in Bostock v. Clayton County that “discrimination because of . . . sex” includes discrimination based on homosexuality. Citing this and other precedents, Shape’s lawyers argue that federal law affords distinct protections to gay men and lesbians—upon which clinics that operate with a transgender bias are trampling. Shape grew up in a Muslim country in Eastern Europe that he describes in an interview as “very traditional” and “homophobic.” His parents disapproved of his effeminate demeanor and interests as a child. They wouldn’t let him play with dolls, and his mother, he says, made him do stretches so that he would grow taller and appear more masculine. At 11, Shape had his first of several sexual encounters with older men. “I was definitely groomed,” he recounts. Shape proceeded to develop a pattern of risky sexual behavior, according to his legal complaint. He told his medical team at Fenway Health about his childhood sexual experiences, calling them “consensual.” The Fenway providers never challenged him on this interpretation, he alleges. They never suggested that he might have experienced sexual trauma or, say, explored how these events might have shaped his feelings of dissociation. (The irony is that Fenway Health describes its model of care as “trauma-informed.”)

Archive link

Ontario detransitioner who had breasts and womb removed sues doctors

An Ontario detransitioning woman who had her breasts and womb removed to change her gender to male is suing medical and health practitioners for failing to consider other treatments during her mental health crisis before ushering her on an irreversible journey she regrets. Michelle Zacchigna, 34, of Orillia, Ont., north of Toronto, names eight health professionals, including doctors, psychologists, a psychotherapist and a counsellor in a lawsuit filed in Ottawa. None of the defendants, who work or worked at various clinics and institutions in southern Ontario, responded to requests for comment on the lawsuit prior to deadline. Four of the defendants have filed notices of intent to defend against the suit in Ontario Superior Court, but no statements of defense have been filed. None of the claims have been tested in court. Zacchigna said she faces an uphill battle in her lawsuit. “I’ve been under the impression that all medical malpractice suits are challenging. Doctors win the majority of cases in Canada,” she told National Post. “It’s very much a David vs. Goliath undertaking.” In her statement of claim filed in court in November, Zacchigna says she had difficulty forming relationships with classmates in elementary school and was often bullied. By the time she was 11, she engaged in self-harming behaviour, including cutting her arm with a knife. This continued into early adulthood. When she was 20, she tried to kill herself and she was referred by her family doctor for psychotherapy, where she was treated for social anxiety and clinical depression. She remained unhappy and depressed, and her mental health decline led to her dropping out of university, according to her claim. About a year into therapy, she engaged with an online community around gender nonconformity. “Michelle came to believe that her biological sex of female did not match her true gender identity of male,” her claim says. “She further came to believe that this mismatch between her biological sex and gender identity was causing her feelings of depression, self-harming behaviour and unease in her body, a mental health condition commonly known as gender dysphoria,” her claim states. This was the first time Zacchigna felt she was born in the wrong body, and she had not previously identified as male, her claim says. “However, as a result of what she read on the internet, she became convinced that she was a transgender man, and that once she embraced this new identity, her depression would subside.” Zacchigna started attending a support group in Toronto for people considering gender transition. A counsellor there told her of opportunities to proceed through a medical transition, her claim says. Zacchigna was invited to apply for medical intervention in 2010. The counsellor wrote a recommendation letter outlining a medical history that didn’t fully match her real past, the claim says. The counsellor didn’t recommend any alternatives, or seek confirmation of Zacchigna’s own diagnosis of gender dysphoria. Her regular therapist also wrote a recommendation for transition treatment, saying Zacchigna was an “ideal candidate for hormone therapy,” even though the therapist had no previous transgender clients, according to the claim.

Part II incoming.

#detrans #detransition #desist #ftm detransition #mtf detransition #LGB #gender critical #gender critical feminism #gender ideology

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dailykafka · 5 months

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your publication is a little careless with transgender and queer people, which lately, and that of female hysteria, very prejudiced and medieval. very discriminatory of your part, guy

I wrote such a well thought out response but tumblr decided to glitch and it all deleted🥲

So here's my quote of saying exactly the opposite of what you think I said: "This insistence that deep introspection of the self, feelings of helplessness and despair is somehow universally 'female' not only excludes women who do not relate to these experiences but also those who are not women and do experience them, yet are excluded on the basis of "aestheticized" suffering where one of the main components is that you have to be a woman."

I am saying we should be inclusive and not trap Kafka in any specific gendered lense because that would mean misinterpreting and misunderstanding him (thus disrespecting him). Kafka does not represent universal female experiences for the simple reason that he was not a woman. Very simple logic here. And seeing him as such ultimately excludes everyone else from enjoying Kafka (if you are saying Kafka is representing female experiences (which is factually wrong) then what about queer people? Transgender people? Literally anyone else who does not identify as a woman).

Everyone can relate to Kafka, his experiences are universal and not only 'female' or 'male' or only 'queer'. We relate to Kafka because we are multifaceted human beings, be it woman man or anything else.

#it is discriminatory to say you don't have to be a specific gender sexuality or race to relate to someone?#because thats what im saying #asks

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myragewillendworlds · 6 months

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The "gender identity" language really was the wrong approach for explaining transsexualism and gender dysphoria. While it seemed like a sensible and simple way to try to explain things, using "I was born as X, but I identify as Y" is what opened up the gates to all the transphobic and non-sensical "non-binary" language we see today. Saying "I identify as X" relies on people's tolerance, not on logic, and it doesn't distance itself from such things as "Well I identify as a goat" and "Oh, so I can just choose to identify as a gender, then?"

The approach should be a medical one; scientific, rational, neutral. Transsexualism is neurological, something a person is simply born with. The simplified version would be that everyone's brain naturally has a gender, that which makes you feel like a man or a woman, and in transgender people, that gender developed in the opposite direction of the body's physical sex. That's the story that makes people go "Oh, that makes sense, then" and helps them understand why transgender people feel the way they do, that they're born that way and aren't mentally ill, and that they neurologically really are the gender they say they are. It garners both understanding and respect, when it's about acknowledging something real, and not just a request to "be nice".

It's too late to turn back the clock now, but I do believe it'll still be helpful moving forward to explain transsexualism with simplified versions of the science behind it, like this. Every single person I have given this explanation to (in real life, to people who aren't terminally online) has responded with some version of "Oh, I didn't know that, now it makes sense." Not only does it help them understand transgender people better instantly, they immediately draw the conclusion themselves, without me even needing to explain it, that this is distinct from the "non-binary" trend. The latter in particular is also very important; it helps redirect misplaced frustration with identity politics away from regular transgender people and back onto the ideology that is responsible for it.

#transgender #transsexual #transmed #transmedicalism #transmedical #nonbinary #non-binary #gender identity

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anonymouszephyrus · 2 months

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Voltron Characters Headcanons, go!

Finally, Part 3! Here's Shiro, Allura, and Coran! This is a little bit shorter, so sorry. Thank you for helping me with some of these @gilyoungroach & @hotdogcabbagesausage !

ALLURA

- Pure Pansexual (Aliens don't have labels but she loves everyone so-) - Mostly She/Her Pronouns (Genderfluid) - Allura definitely had a rebellious teen era and it's why she doesn't like Keith because he reminds her of that era and she cringes every time she remembers it. - Allura collects shiny and sparkly rocks. This is canon but still. She has a very extensive rock collection spanning from "shiny but ordinary" to "so shiny" and even all the way to "super, extra sparkly" - I don't have much to say with her actually. Niko sums it up pretty fucking well: "allura goddess case closed" - @nikogane

CORAN (Aka. Single Pringle)

- Aliens = Pansexual. Duh. NJFKAFN (he's an adventurous fellow) - He/Him (Transgendered Coran!!) - #Alforan was one-sided. Yes. He loved Alfor with all his heart. Sadly, the feeling wasn't mutual, he never confessed but knew the truth deep down. Coran was content just being there beside Alfor as his advisor though it hurt him every time he saw his first and only love being sweet with Melenor. - Despite his jealousy, he never hated Melenor or Allura. He treats Melenor like a queen, obviously, but also like a sister. And of course, he loves Allura like his own daughter. - If he was an Earthling, he would've totally done drag. And he would've slayed. - He gives me so much... Lance but a different age, different upbringing sort of vibe. Those two definitely talk deep into the night about their issues and problems, Coran would've been Lance's version of Shiro.

SHIRO (Aka. The gayest man that ever did gay.)

- Gay. Just gay. This isn't even a headcanon, it's canon. - He/Him - probably brings a first aid kit wherever he goes when he's with Keith or the others. Let's be honest. - A red wine mom/dad. He definitely chugged one in a sitting and Keith was just amazed.. (and also did it too, leading to Keith's first hang-over and Shiro being an irresponsible brother) - Chronically addicted to coffee. Has like- brewery equipment, like the shit you'd see in coffee shops but only for like half of Shiro's whole kitchen. He's got packets of different flavors, sugars, milk, etc. - He was emo. He was emo before. It's canon. He was emo. That's where Keith gets his genes /j - Contrary to popular belief, Shiro can cook. Especially Korean and Japanese foods because he learned so Keith could still taste those familiar things his late father would've given him when he was little. - Probably is a hoarder, not that much though. Like, he keeps antique cups, teapots, dishes, and even a china cabinet solely for coffee cups that he never uses but only keeps on display so that he has a good story to tell everyone that visits... and it's always the same fucking story. - Will take any and all opportunities to tease Keith about literally anything. - Adding to the last headcanon/kinda canon thing, he also likes to remind Keith of his embarrassingly cute moments like when Keith first moved into Adam and Shiro's house and had a nightmare so they all curled up on the couch and watched shitty movies and Keith fell asleep literally seconds in and slept like a fucking baby. - Gay. Just gay. This isn't even a headcanon, it's canon. - He/Him - probably brings a first aid kit wherever he goes when he's with Keith or the others. Let's be honest. - A red wine mom/dad. He definitely chugged one in a sitting and Keith was just amazed.. (and also did it too, leading to Keith's first hang-over and Shiro being an irresponsible brother) - Chronically addicted to coffee. Has like- brewery equipment, like the shit you'd see in coffee shops but only for like half of Shiro's whole kitchen. He's got packets of different flavors, sugars, milk, etc. - He was emo. He was emo before. It's canon. He was emo. That's where Keith gets his genes /j - Contrary to popular belief, Shiro can cook. Especially Korean and Japanese foods because he learned so Keith could still taste those familiar things his late father would've given him when he was little. - Probably is a hoarder, not that much though. Like, he keeps antique cups, teapots, dishes, and even a china cabinet solely for coffee cups that he never uses but only keeps on display so that he has a good story to tell everyone that visits... and it's always the same fucking story. - Will take any and all opportunities to tease Keith about literally anything. - Adding to the last headcanon/kinda canon thing, he also likes to remind Keith of his embarrassingly cute moments like when Keith first moved into Adam and Shiro's house and had a nightmare so they all curled up on the couch and watched shitty movies and Keith fell asleep literally seconds in and slept like a fucking baby.

PART: 1 & 2

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waitmyturtles · 7 months

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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: 55:15 Never Too Late, and Integrated Queer Storylines in Thai Het Dramas Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I delve into the queer storyline of 55:15 Never Too Late, an ensemble het drama that featured two phenomenal actors in Kob Songsit and Khaotung Thanawat as older and younger versions of the same person.]

55:15 Never Too Late: this is not a show that I think the majority of the Thai BL fandom is aware of, unless they're particular stans of Nanon Korapat (RAISES HAND) and/or Khaotung Thanawat (RAISES OTHER HAND). In part, let me just say upfront that 55:15 Never Too Late features significant het storylines with middle-aged adults, and -- one's assumed BL audience may not be so into that.

However. I picked this show up for the OGMMTVC after discussions with a few dear mutuals (in particular, the wonderful @chickenstrangers -- thank you for engaging me in conversation on this show!) about queer storylines in GMMTV het dramas. I had a thought early on in this project that I should touch upon this, as I was impressed with my earlier-this-year watch of GMMTV's 10 Years Ticket, and that show's inclusion of a wonderful queer storyline was woven with intergenerational trauma, which is a theme that I appreciate seeing in shows when it's done well.

In considering what might have been seminal for GMMTV regarding queer storylines in het dramas before shows like 10 Years Ticket aired: two shows kept cropping up in conversation, 55:15 Never Too Late being one, and The Shipper being the other.

I wanted to think on this because... man, for me, as an old Asian-American, to think about Asian het shows/dramas/primetime dramas that would have integrated queer storylines -- not even just a passing queer character who's used for cringe/comedy -- strikes me as remarkable. I certainly didn't see these kinds of storylines in the romantic or slice-of-life K-dramas and J-doramas of my youth.

Of course, this was territory that had already been crossed in pre-Thai-BL ensemble shows like Love Sick and Kiss/Kiss Me Again (which preceded Dark Blue Kiss). While The Shipper (I think -- I haven't watched it) was more of a coalesced storyline, 55:15 Never Too Late had a little bit of that ensemble feel to it -- but all the characters of this show were affected by the same supernatural phenomenon, which ended up bringing all their individual storylines together as one in the end. And after 55:15 Never Too Late, we have 10 Years Ticket, and hopefully more het dramas will follow suit in including impactful queer storylines as well.

I was encouraged VERY strongly to NOT watch The Shipper for the ways in which it treated issues of transgender identity (big ups to @so-much-yet-to-learn, @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup and more for helping me to avoid that disaster). And 55:15 Never Too Late was described to me as having a BL storyline that featured a cameo with Earth Pirapat and Mix Sahaphap, and that offered critical feedback about the wider BL industry.

All of that is true, and I deeply appreciated the feedback and direction. What I didn't expect was to receive a storyline that also treated elder queerness and coming out at a later age with empathy and tenderness.

Before I get there, let me set up the show and describe all the different storylines, and then I'll focus on Khao's turn, as he played the younger version of our main queer protagonist in Songpol.

55:15 Never Too Late starts off with five middle-aged individuals: San, a washed-up voice actor who is drunkenly robbed by two women; Jaya, a washed-up former teen idol; Amonthep, a washed-up former boxer whose boxing academy is about to default in debt; Jarunee, a despised high school teacher who receives a devastating cancer diagnosis, and Songpol, a restaurant owner who harbors a long-lived love for the pianist in his restaurant, a man named Mathee.

All five of these 55-year-old adults wake up one morning -- after all having visited the same photocopying shop -- as their 15-year-old selves, with their adult minds still in tact. All five of them use their newfound youth to address longstanding issues in their lives, and to hopefully find clarity on the problems they face as adults.

Where our queer storyline lives is with Songpol, and shit if I did not yelp when I saw who was playing the adult Songpol: none other than one of the best and most-seen dads in BL, Kob Songsit -- Kinn's dad! Dean's dad! Kawi's dad! And he's also a dad of a gay son in the movie Love of Siam as well. (Khun Kob is also a legendary Thai actor and singer in his own right -- cc @wen-kexing-apologist for the heads-up!). I squealed because this was the first time that I'd see Khun Kob play a queer man himself. I'm almost positive that he's likely taken on other queer roles, but -- Khun Kob's characters are usually the accepting dads! This time around, we get to see him embody a queer role holistically.

The adult Songpol was closeted his whole life. Upon his mother's approaching passing, he whispers in his mother's ear, as she lays in her hospital bed -- "I'm gay." The line on the monitor goes flat. We can surmise as much, that her household would not have welcomed such an admission in Songpol's earlier years.

Songpol is also a fan of the aging teen idol, Jaya. After his mother's passing, he takes it upon himself to decorate his room fully with all the fan memorabilia he collected over his teen and adult years.

Before his transformation into his teenage self, he meets with his fellow queer friend at a gay club -- likely Songpol's only outlet to be out in private (and his friend is played by the FABULOUS Shaowanasai Michael, who just OWNED the time he had on screen as a fully-out, decked-out older gay man. WE NEED MORE ELDER QUEER UNCLES IN OUR SHOWS!). Songpol's friend encourages Songpol to finally admit his love to Mathee, the pianist. As Songpol finally screws up his courage to make his admission -- Mathee reveals that he's getting married.

And Songpol goes to bed, devastated. And he wakes up as his 15-year-old self, played by Khao.

Of the times that we see the adult Songpol on screen, we see Kob Songsit do the most amazing delicate balance of a kind of presence struggle that older queer men VERY often have to do, by way of tamping down a peeking-out, a shimmering of femme characteristics, that often needs to be traded for a carriage of more masculine characteristics in everyday life (what movie better captured this than The Birdcage?) (cc @wen-kexing-apologist). Throughout the show, when Khun Kob was on screen, he carried himself like... like a het Thai uncle, slightly worn in his years. But when he was able to flourish in recognition of his queerness -- we saw that slight shimmer, the little twist in his shoulders, a little gleam and sly smile in which he knew he was safe to be out and gay.

Dudes, if you're a completist nerd like me, taking a moment to watch Kob Songsit embody a queer role ALONE made this show worthwhile for me to watch.

But! And! What did Songpol learn about himself as his younger version in modern times?

That's where Khao steps in, and of course -- Khao is Khao, right? One of GMMTV's best actors, Khao as the young Songpol (in body, not in mind) takes himself on a journey of recognizing that the world (at least the world that the younger generations live in) has long moved past the prejudices of his mother's generation.

Young Songpol looks on in wonder as two boys hold hands at the high school that he's returned to. He listens in wonder as his niece -- who is now the same age as him, LOL -- tells him about BL series. And he's agape when a school project on BL shows is proposed to him by a fellow classmate.

That classmate (played by Win Pawin Kulkaranyawich) is none other than the son of Mathee -- the pianist that the adult Songpol is in love with. [NOTE: this post was published before domestic violence accusations were levied against Win Pawin in early 2024.]

I was talking with @chickenstrangers a bit about this -- that the one wrinkle (no pun intended, HA) (listen, I get to make that joke because I'm an old mom) that 55:15 Never Too Late faces is that we have actors playing 15-year-olds who are all tackling adult problems... often with the other age-appropriate adults of their past lives. Meaning: age gaps, both externally and internally.

(Very namely, Nanon's character, the young San, interacts with his former high school love interest. Now, Nanon can pull off almost anything, and I'd argue that he was fabulous in this role -- as long as you were comfortable watching a 20-year-old Nanon express a long-lost love for a 55-year-old woman. He did it exquisitely, but the age gap could give some folks the jibbles. This also happened with the young Jarunee, played by the AWESOME AS USUAL View Benyapa, who confirms her love for a 30-year-old man, who was actually in love with the original 55-year-old Jarunee, so we're dealing with TWO age gaps there, okay, confused yet? ANYWAY.)

In this age gap case, Pawin's character, Phiphu, begins crushing on the young Songpol. The young-bodied and old-minded Songpol is like, wut. You're Mathee's son. Phiphu even goes in for an acted kiss as he and Songpol audition (AUDITION! LOL) for a BL series.

It's Khao and Pawin kissing -- but it's an older character that Khao is embodying. Khao did not lean into the kiss, and made it seem plenty awkward, which -- good job, Khao/Songpol. But I'd say the show overall didn't quite address the age gap issues frontally, which I do think was a miss.

(KhaoPawin, btw? Yet another reason why I want to ban branded ships. Pawin's never been better than when he was paired with Khao! Pawin was great! They were great together! Pair more randoms together!)

I think the show did a responsible job at indirectly addressing the age gap issue at least between the old/young Songpol and the only young Phiphu, when Phiphu finally admits his attraction to the young Songpol. And remember! They're living in an age -- an age that the adult Songpol isn't familiar with -- where Phiphu can feel comfortable making a queer admission to another teenager.

The young Songpol knew he was kinda in the shit when Phiphu confessed to him. Between the time that the young Songpol received this confession and the end of the series -- the young Songpol had transitioned back to his present elder self. In that elder self, played by Khun Kob, the young Songpol left a letter for Phiphu to explain his departure -- and to urge Phiphu, a loner, to be hopeful for a more loving future. A kind of future that, prior to his trip to his younger self, that the older Songpol may not have ever imagined for himself.

All while this is happening: the elder Songpol's love interest, Mathee, is getting married. And: Mathee confesses to the adult Songpol that Mathee knows that Songpol was in love with him. Mathee addresses it head-on, and explains how important Songpol is in Mathee's life as an elder uncle, a familial presence. It was empathetic as anything, wonderful to watch.

Again, repeating myself from the top: these topics are extremely adult topics. Not by way of explicitness, but by way of maturity and and growth. The way this show touched me as an adult -- there aren't a lot of BLs that do that, simply because I'm much older than your average BL audience member. This show really gut-punched me, simply because it was a drama (it just so happened to be a het drama) about reckoning with the highs and the disappointments of adult life, ones that, especially as a parent of young children, I am learning far too fast and all too well. To see an adult Songpol's mind -- channeled through Khao's brilliant acting -- coming to terms with a new generation for which queerness is far more accepted, was utterly moving. Even for myself, a het woman who was raised with a culturally embedded sense of bigotry for anyone "different," watching young people just accept queerness, as an everyday part of life -- and watching an elder mind try to process that, and realize that he could live safely and publicly, as he finally did, as an adult, at the end of the show, totally got me.

Most of the storylines of the rest of the characters ended beautifully, with a little tragedy mixed in. If you're a fan of dramas that feature the GMMTV stable outside of our beloved group of BL actors, I would definitely say to give this one a shot. (If you're a BBS girlie like me, keep in mind that this was airing at the same time as BBS, so Nanon had two shows airing at the same time -- and I do be believing that there was a little BBS reference in 55:15 because of that timing.) Sea Tawinan in particular, who I have no familiarity with (I didn't watch Vice Versa) was fantastic as a devoted and thoughtful son to one of the time jumpers. View, Kay, Arm, Piploy, Marc Pahun, and ESPECIALLY PRIGKHING (WHAT A DELIGHT!) were all fantastic.

Some of the latest het dramas out of GMMTV -- UMG, The Jungle, etc. -- seem to me to be post-pandemic leftovers featuring cute dudes in weak storylines that not a lot of folks really got excited about. 55:15 Never Too Late was a pandemic-era drama that was very much rooted not only in nostalgia, but also rooted in addressing regrets -- the exact kind of mental exercise that a lot of folks had time to work on during the pandemic. 55:15 held a queer storyline in its hands with tenderness, it featured two phenomenal actors in Kob Songsit and Khao Thanawat to treat it with compassion, and the result was eye-opening and fulfilling. This was a wonderful show, and it makes me very glad that there are GMMTV shows, outside of the Jojo Tichakorn universe, that consider queerness as inclusionary of storytelling. If this theme can continue at GMMTV, I will be ever more glad about it.

[So! WITH THIS! I'm going to be doing a slow rewatch of Bad Buddy and Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars, along with a robust, if not heavy, slate of currently airing shows, including Absolute Zero and What Did You Eat Yesterday?, all of which will be taking a chunk of time of meta writing away from my generally middling level of sanity.

That being said, I'll be doing plenty of liveblogging of BBS, and I have at least two OGMMTVC posts planned for the show, so stay tuned in the next few weeks, as I sharpen my pencils and take notes on Aof Noppharnach's very best drama.

There is a future after my BBS rewatch, namely Cheewin Thanamin's Secret Crush On You, which I'm really looking forward to watching later this fall.

Here's the latest info drop on the OGMMTVC watchlist. For a more clear picture of what I've watched, please click this link!

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) 21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (re-review here) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review here) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review here) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review here) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) (review here) 31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch (watching) 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For the Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 37) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 38) The Eclipse OGMMTVC Rewatch For the Sake of Re-Analyzing an Politics-Focused Show After Not Me 39) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 40) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 41) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 42) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults) 43) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 44) Wedding Plan (2023) (Recommended as an important trajectory in the course of MAME’s work and influence from TharnType) 45) Only Friends (2023)]

#55:15 never too late #55:15 never too late the series #55:15 never too late meta #nanon korapat #khaotung thanawat #pawin kulkaranyawich #kob songsit #view benyapa #khaopawin #turtles catches up with old gmmtv #turtles catches up with thai BLs #turtles catches up with the essential BLs #the old gmmtv challenge #ogmmtvc #prigkhing sureeyares

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theriverbeyond · 5 months

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just finished blue eye samurai, my extensive thoughts below the cut but tl;dr IM OBSESSED, it was really good, I highly recommend this show. it is gory and beautiful and so fucking good.

spoiler free thoughts first, then will label where I start discussing spoilers.

Ok so first off my thoughts about the title & character design:

i saw a fair amount of discourse before it even dropped about how it was Bad for giving an asian character blue eyes, which like, on a surface level fair! I get it!! it does Shit to the body image for all the Cool Asian People to have light colored eyes. i get being a persom of color and wishing badly for white features instead of my very much nonwhite ones

But the actual story smacked me in the face with like. Mizu is a mixed race person with physical traits that clock them immedietly as mixed race, in a context where they must hide those traits to "pass" or else face discrimination or death. this is revealed in... the first 5 minutes maybe??? and the fact that it is their white features that mark them as "other" "demon" "monster" is because the story takes place IN JAPAN where the ethnic majority is JAPANESE. and that's. like. that's a STORY!!! that's WAY DIFFERENT from "asian character has light eyes bc it looks cool". and Mizu does look cool, that is undeniable. but it's part of the story. idk!!! i just feel those critiques were pushed out way too fast with no understanding of what the show is about and while i think in a vacum we should have more positive, "looks cool" representation of nonwhite features, a story about a mixed race person is maybe not the one to criticize about this specific topic. to me.

NOT SPOILERS REALLY IF YOU READ THE EPISODE SUMMARIES BUT IT WAS A JUMPSCARE TO ME AS SOMEONE WHO WENT IN BLIND re: mizu's gender:

I went in blind and due to the way the story is structured and how it addresses Mizu's gender, I read it as an intentionally transmasc story and was absolutely jumpscared the first time I opened the episode menu and saw it refering to Mizu with she/her pronouns. and then after watching I went on ao3 (as one does) and people also seem to use she/her on there??

and obviously. this is fine. canon, really, considering the netflix episode descriptions. and probably it was way too optimistic of me to even ASSUME that someone would be able to create an intentionally transgender samurai action animation series on Netflix. but i just REALLY see them as either a gay trans man or he/they nonbinary and am just having an Experience reconciling what i got from the show directly vs how I am seeing other people talk about the character/the show.

I would write fic to fix this but my knowledge of edo peripd japan is so slim I feel I would make unforgivable and offensive mistakes... idk... like obviously the show itself refers to Mizu with she/her so I have no leg to stand on wrt feeling upset about seeing it but I sure was surprised.

THEMES OF THE SHOW specifically about race (some spoilers maybe, but not specific late show ones): cw for discussions of historical and canon sexual violence

I am deeply, deeply intrigued and invested in the story, and am specifically fascinated with how it is dealing with like, white imperial violence. Mizu is hated because they are mixed race, specifically mixed Japanese and white. It is shown in the show that white people and whiteness is hated because of the violence that white men have brought to japan; opium, human trafficking, slaughter, and multiple other abuses. Mizu, as well as other theoretical mixed race children exist almost solely due to the rape of Japanese women by white men. They are hated and hunted by both their white fathers and everyone else in Japan (because of their proximity to white imperial violence, even when the children themselves are a product of that violence).

Mizu is on a revenge quest against their white father specifically, who is presumably one of the four known white men in Japan. Mizu faced discrimination and abuse from everyone, but it is their *father*, who they have never met (vs the multiple abuses they faced from Japanese kids, their mother, etc etc etc), that they are hunting. not anyone else. because their father must have raped and abused their mother. their mother who to their knowledge betrayed!!!! them. This is just such an INTERESTING and COMPLICATED and FASCINATING dynamic like. I'm eating it with a fucking spoon my brain is on fire (positive). Probably more to say and I hope/wish I am saying it in a reasonable enough way but. im eating this. I really love this.

MORE THOUGHTS likely spoilers ahead. you have been warned

im chewing the bars of my cage... taigen and mizu need to kiss sloppy style. WHEN MIZU SAW THE TWO MEN KISSING IN THE BROTHEN AND THOUGHT ABT FIGHTING TAIGEN???? this too can be yaoi

when they cut together Mizu GETTING NAKED TO FORGE STEEL and akemi having sex??? CINEMA

there are cocks in this show. i had to DM multiple friends about the cock jumpscare. also there was sex which was frankly awesome. fuck yeah for adult animation that is serious storytelling with beautiful art. the nudity in this show was like less explicit than many HBO shows but it was a similar vibe/energy in a way that felt really cool and normal. it didn't feel gratuitous it felt like "this show is for adults and features sex and ful frontal". more of this in adult animation please

too many occasions of Mizu being wildly hot hot for me to count... they are SO whumpable and also when they fought in the makeup that ran so it looked like they were crying blood??? when they killed all those guys? when they killed all those OTHER guys????? Mizu are you free tuesday. are you free tonight.

THEYRE GOING TO LONDON??? I'm going to die if this doesn't get a season 2 but I'm also so scared like it is so good... what if they RUIN it in season 2. what if all the complicated interesting bits get sanitized. what if they stop letting Mizu kill people. what if they make Mizu have a girl power woman moment. anyway i need this to be renewed SO BAD I need to know what happens. I need Mizu to get bloody revenge on the 4 white men who have brought such pain to the country. MIZU IS GOING ON THIS QUEST FOR REVENGE AND DIGGING 4 GRAVES‼️‼️‼️‼️

Fucking loved the tropes like. Yes they are going to face off 200 armed warriors and kill them all. of course they are.

Akemi was there. ok ok ok actually I really liked her coming into her own and trying to make her own power.... was really sad when that immedietly got fucked up for her. Really interested in her developing in future season(s) into her own person, I hope she doesnt go back to taigan bc i think she can do better and also her story is more interesting when she is trying to Make It And Be Someone vs running after him.

I feel like this show is Saying a lot of things but in a way where it is up to the reader to pick them up and think about them vs sending a soecific message. Which rocks honestly.

Animation, gorgeous. It was 3D it looks like and some tiny bits are less than stellar but OVERALL. fucking beautiful. hot. etc.

Really liked the story. this was really good and I already want to rewatch it. clawing my walls. i could go on but will stop for now

#trb.txt #media blogging #blue eye samurai #i wanna write fic but i don't know enough about edo japan..... this is so tragic.....

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youropinion-iswrong · 5 months

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ghost trick character's genders

along with some other hcs relating to them! warnings for ghost trick spoilers and mentions of dysphoria, surgery, and pregnancy

everyone's under the cut 👍

sissel: he's a cat he doesn't know what a gender is, BUT. he was a female cat during his ten years living with yomiel (hence why he was named after yomiel's fiance). after thinking he was yomiel for a while he just. kept seeing himself as male afterwards and everyone else did too. this cat accidentally got his gender transed

lynne: a sillygirl. a sunshinegirl. a boyfriendgirl. a deadguygirl. perhaps even a puppygirl. just nonbinary woman works too though. does no sort of physical transition

missile: dog

jowd: trans man, started transitioning in like his early-mid 20s. decided to pause his medical transition to carry his and alma's child despite his dysphoria, he wouldn't do it again but he's never regretted it. now is on t and has top and bottom surgery

alma: trans woman that's also a man but not and doesn't have any gender. oh and a bit multigender. usually not genderfluid though. don't worry about it do you want chicken she's ordering some for her family. started having Gender Weirdness as a high schooler and eventually was peaceful with her gender not making sense to anyone else, because it doesn't need to! fluctuating dysphoria but the body is usually worse than social. has been on and off e throughout the years and has bottom surgery

kamila: a budding sapphic who eventually blooms into a butch lesbian. yes as her gender. also has many xenic girl varieties like her sister and general gender weirdness like her mom

cabanela: yeah i have no idea what's going on here. he simultaneously feels Very Cisgender and Very Transgender to me. idk what he is we just need to acknowledge he kind of sucks more. and that can include him being cis. either way he does drag and this is important to his gender despite not being a woman in any way

pigeon man: trans man, started transitioning within the year he quit his job at the police force. he's only binary in the sense that he doesn't give a shit about finding labels besides "man". on t with no surgeries and doesn't plan on any. everything about his transition in all three timelines is identical to the minute somehow.

yomiel: it's... complicated. he was a trans man who came out in his mid-late teens, and was on t with top surgery when he died. he had a bit of a thing about being a Normal Binary Passing Man, but being dead and unknowable with no human friends and a disconnect from his body for ten years really fucked with that. like all social conventions, he has trouble readjusting to gender in the new timeline, but he's started reconnecting with femininity and exploring more labels. mainly just says he's transmasc, still taking t.

fiansissel: trans woman with extra woman and a side of fries and dip. sorry i don't have more for you girl you have the potential to be so interesting just by being in love with yomiel but that's the *only* thing you had the time to be ingame

other random chars: memry is transfem, emma and the minister are painfully cis but supportive, amelie is a demigirl, park guy is some sort of nonbinary in an insane dollar store soda flavor way, bailey and his 'friend' are both cis but in a hand-wavey "not unpacking that" way

#ghost trick #rambles #ghost trick spoilers #trans hc #this has been sitting in my drafts for months

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descubriendo-aurelia · 2 years

Text

tl;dr trans origin story

So, what have I done so far? How did I arrive to this point? Well, I kind of always knew that I wished I had been born a girl, but for many years I suppressed these feelings. I can remember as far back as age 4, seeing my older female cousin Jaimie and wishing I could look like her.

(Warning: I talk briefly about a sexual encounter below.)

I'd been somewhat familiar with feminizing HRT, FFS and vaginoplasty since I was an early adolescent thanks to cable TV, and transitioning seemed like such an extreme process (because it is) that it seemed impossibly expensive to achieve the results that I wanted for myself. I'd always been fascinated with hearing the stories of trans people and would watch anything related to them them any chance I got. My favourite movie since I was 16 years old was, and still is to this day, Breakfast on Pluto, a story about an Irish transwoman. How curious that it didn't occur to me until later in life that I loved this movie because I wanted to be like the main character.

Throughout the years there were other signs, like playing dress-up with my best friend and wearing their femme clothes, which led to the appearance of my Southern belle alter-ego Annabelle in our late teens while the True Blood series was still popular. Yes, with a big, floppy hat y todo. 👒

Shortly after moving to Seattle, I'd come to the realisation that I'd never been comfortable with a male identity and decided to start identifying as non-binary and using they/them pronouns.

There were two main catalysts that made me come to terms with my inner womanhood this past year. The first was a sexual encounter I had with a bisexual man who wanted me to wear panties for him. As we had sex, he sexualised me as a woman and referred to me as a woman. It made me feel validated and desired in a way that I had never been before, and it felt so right and perfect somehow. This encounter, as you might imagine, made me reflect long and hard about my gender identity.

The second catalyst was an Italki Spanish conversation class. My teacher is a trans woman, and the topic of discussion was gender identity. At one point during our discussion, she asked me, "What part of you wants to cling to the masculine?" and I realised that I didn't really have an answer for her. I realised that I was clinging to masculinity (or vestiges of it, lol) because I wanted to please other people, rather than make myself happy and discover my true identity.

A couple days later, on July 20th 2022, I decided that it was time to start doing something about it. I started by telling close friends, and it wasn't long before I settled on the name Aurelia and started to try presenting as female to the best of my ability. I'm very fortunate to work in a very trans-friendly city at a very trans-friendly business with exceptional health insurance for individuals who seek in gender affirming care. Having already worked alongside several trans people at my job, I felt comfortable enough to start coming out to my coworkers right away. They, of course, accepted me with open arms and have been amazing at using my preferred name and pronouns. A few of them even gave me clothes!

I then, of course, started shopping. In addition to makeup and clothes, I bought an epilator, silicone breast forms, mastectomy bras, a few different styles of gaffs as well as tucking tape. Not at all once, of course, 'cause all that shit was expensive. (Especially the gaffs! I tried two styles, a cheap $20 Amazon that was bulky and inaffective, and a $40 that works amaaazingly. $40 is a lot, but after I started ordering one every paycheque, I think she took notice and started sending me two per order, which was super sweet of her. Thanks, Lexy B Blair!)

I found a doctor who specialises in transgender care through my insurance and on September 6th, I started taking my HRT medications. After 5 weeks, I've seen slight (though not yet visible) breast tissue growth, skin softening, and thinning and softening of body hair. It's hard for me to gauge any emotional or psychological changes, since I was a very emotional person before HRT, lol. I guess I get angry way less often, but I also feel like this was true before I started HRT and has more to do with the relief I felt immediately after coming out that I was finally allowing myself to present female.

On October 13th, I got registered for laser hair removal, and I'll begin my first treatments in November! I'm so tired of shaving every day and having to use orange colour corrector and a full face of heavy foundation just to have a "natural" look. My facial hair comes in really dark, so no matter how close I shave, they leave behind a greenish undertone to my skin, which is why I need the colour corrector.

So, now what? We wait for the hormones to do their job. I probably won't notice any major changes until a year in, and the full effects could take 3-4 years. I asked my doctor about progesterone to help with breast development, and he wants to try it when I'm 6 months to a year in. Depending on how well that works, I may or may not eventually want breast augmentation.

Another procedure I'm definitely interested in is facial feminisation surgery. Because I went through a testosterone-based puberty during my adolescence, my jawline is very angular and I have a protruding brow bone compared to before I started puberty. HRT is supposed to help a little bit with rounding of the face via fat redistribution, but this won't be noticeable for at least a year. So, I suppose the plan will be to see how satisfied I am after the three year mark, and if not, look into getting the procedure.

And then, of course, there's the surgery that cispeople are most obsessed with: ✨vaginoplasty✨. Will I get it? First of all, if you don't already know this, please don't ever ask a trans person this question. As for me, I'm still conflicted. I don't believe in the concept of "completely transitioning" and don't think that genital surgery is a necessary step in a gender transition. I would be completely content keeping my genitals and would still feel as complete of a woman as any other. And yet, when it really comes down to it, I think I would still prefer a vagina to a penis if given the choice... which, I guess I have? But then, of course, there's the whole surgery itself, which is very extensive and scary, with a rough recovery. Plus the extensive dilations. Hmm, I just don't know about all that. If I did it, which I honestly don't think I will, I would want a very talented doctor who will perform a labiaplasty, clitoroplasty, and vaginoplasty, and who has multiple photographs of the results of former patients.

So, that's all, folks. If you're still reading this, thank you for listening to me overshare, lol.

#hrt update #mtf trans #trans #transgender #transfemme #transfem #trans woman #transgirl #trans positivity #vaginoplasty #gender affirming surgery #gender affirming care

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lucreziaq2001 · 5 months

Text

•TV show: "Criminal minds".

•Content warnings: Bullying the victim is blamed/punished for instead of the culprit, gender roles/stereotypes being forced on a person, mild cursing, vague mention of conversion therapy for gay/transgender people, and mentions of alcoholism and severe personality disorders.

•Some of the lines are almost the same that are in a scene of the "Cold case" episode this story is inspired by. I did modify them a bit, though. I didn't just copy and paste them.

•Both in this chapter and in the one entitled with his name, Aaron is inspired a bit by an actual "Boy crazy" character, Red Buckley, so sorry if what he does is out of character in your opinion.

•Tags: @lex13cm, @golden1u5t, @avis-writeshq, @chrrysgirl, @hugyourlungs, @achillmango, @marie-sworld, @iluvreid, @babygirl-garcia, @rynwritesreid, @strangermoonlove.

The bridge to Heaven

Chapter 4: Not a very good person

It was October 25, 1963, and as it happened quite often, Elizabeth received a phone call from Emily's school that morning and had to leave work to go there.

When she got there, about fifteen minutes later, her daughter was in the principal's office, and that was where she was sent too.

"It's hard being a teenager, we all know that, Emily. Especially for us women" Elizabeth told her daughter after the principal had explained what had happened.

Apparently, a boy had made fun of Emily because of her clothes and she had stood up to him, so her teacher had sent her to the principal's office.

"It was Aaron's fault. Why wasn't he called here too?" Emily asked at that point, and her mother was about to agree with her, but the principal intervened before she could.

"Because you can't come to school dressed like that" he replied, gesturing with his hand to the red shirt and black pants the girl was wearing that day.

"Oh, so I should dress like a woman just to please people like Aaron?" she replied, clearly not willing to give in to the rule he was imposing on her.

"No. You have to do it because you are a girl" the man tried to explain to her, attempting to remain calm.

It was clear that that situation was bothering him, but not because of the teasing Emily had suffered, but because of her clothes.

"Do you need any advice on suitable clothes to buy? If you want, I can help you" the school nurse asked at that point.

Although Elizabeth didn't understand why, she had been called in for that meeting too.

"Oh, no! She has lots of women's clothes in her closet. Most of them still have pricetags on" Elizabeth responded.

"As the years go by, girls like Emily tend to have severe personality disorders and drink too much alcohol" the principal then said, turning to Emily's mother "There are places where they can help her if she's open to change. It's best to do it now, Mrs Prentiss, before it's too late".

"I just want to be myself!" Emily exclaimed, now feeling very angry.

"Who you really are or who you think you are?" the principal replied, and since no answer came, just a few seconds later he added "I saw that you signed up for the car repairing course".

"Yes, Sir" Emily answered, apparently feeling calm again "I want to build a turbocharged engine".

"But instead, you will attend the home economics one" the man told her, his voice firm.

"Why? I don't want to learn how to make jam for men like you!" Emily replied, annoyed again.

"Emily!" Elizabeth scolded, as the girl got up and left the room.

"Leave me alone!" her daughter shouted at her as she stood up to follow her.

"I was waiting for you! Where's the skirt?" a dark-haired boy wearing a leather jacket and with an arrogant smile that immediately annoyed Elizabeth on his face said at that point.

"What skirt?" Emily questioned.

"You're a woman. You should change the way you dress" he replied, with a tone of voice that was even more arrogant than his smile.

"Go to Hell!" Emily shouted at him, storming off angrily.

"Oh, Mama must be really proud of her little girl!" the boy then added, turning to Elizabeth.

"Aaron Hotchner. What a surprise! We were talking about you earlier!" the principal told him when he saw him, and at that point, Elizabeth understood everything.

That was the boy who had made fun of her daughter, and evidently, he had already gotten into trouble again.

Yes, she was 42 years old and Aaron was only 18, but she already didn't like that boy.

She couldn't help but think that he wasn't just a high school bully, but instead, just not a very good person.

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kdinjenzen · 1 year

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I've been asking around to trans friends for advice, so I thought I'd perhaps I could pick your brain too:

My (newly realized) brother wants to transition, but is afraid of backlash from the family. I'm the only person who knows. He's been masc presenting forever anywhos, but much of my family is willfully ignorant of anything transgender, so it'll likely be a huge deal. I don't think medical treatment is going to be a thing (horribly afraid of needles).

What are some things we can do to help him inch closer to being comfy with himself? Any advice about family? I know this is all subjective, but I'm looking for anything.

That being said, I also understand if you're not comfortable answering. Thanks regardless, and have a lovely day!

So let’s start with the easy stuff first:

I am also super afraid of needles, which is why I take estrogen orally instead of with shots.

Similarly there are alternatives for testosterone as well! Including gel or a transdermal patch!

So if HRT is something your brother wants (totally valid if not, doesn’t make him any less of a man in any way 💙) there are a multitude of options available to him.

Now the harder part…

So coming out for me was an absolute nightmare, I lost a lot of people, was treated pretty horribly, both professionally and personally.

Among these things was the last remaining shreds of “blood relatives” and I cutting ties - later I would find out that the person was not actually my biological father but that’s like… anecdotal at this point because at the time I didn’t know that - and it was rough because our relationship had been rocky forever and got worse after I ran away and continued to be strained until it exploded.

I don’t know your family nor the depths of your or your brother’s situation, even if explained to me I cannot know fully what either of you will be feeling truly. So it’s very much up to your brother (with your support) to make decisions based on his needs.

I can, however, say that a lot of folks have come to me more than not saying that they “were surprised to find their family, while not fully understanding, definitively supportive” - and that’s been happening more lately.

All I can give advice on here is “test the waters” by having conversations about (made up) friends saying they are trans recently and seeing family reaction to that. When confronted with something like that, it’s fairly often that someone will share their opinions with a knee jerk reaction - be they good, bad, or just curious.

My final bit of advice is, regardless of anything, continue to support your brother and talk to him about it and ask what he needs from you as a sibling going through this. Help him find safe spaces and try to be a safe space for him, very much that will be met with reciprocity in the event you need his support.

Honestly, that’s all I have. But I can safely say I wish I had a sibling that was willing to ask and look for advice and help like you are for him right now when I was growing up. So keep doing what you’re doing and being a good sibling. 💙

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alexissara · 8 months

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Baldur's Gate 3 - Amazing and Sometimes Awful [Quick Review]

Baldur's Gate 3 is a herculean feat of game development with amazing voice acting work spread across it's many many hours, fantastic character designs, interesting gameplay and more. It also suffers from D&Ds character progression systems, the way the games worlds are set up, and the system of true RNG that it is emulating. Beyond that the game despite it's own beauty is extremally buggy and faces significant late game performance issues. However, the game does some stand out things for queerness that a lot of other RPGs fail at. This game is a mixed bag that might also be game of the year.

With over 122 hours logged into the game I feel fairly confident in my ability to access what I experienced but given how big of an undertaking it is I genuinely think someone else's experience may be different. I chose to not side with either the grove or the goblins and moved onto act 2 without doing that and that may have added to the count of bugs but the fact that was an option means that it isn't "My fault" that I experienced so many bugs on my playthrough. I had party members despawning, quests saying I could do something that I couldn't do because the NPCs were not in the area they were supposed to be, getting ques for things that should have went into act 3 that were missing, in the end of act 3 characters missing from the end bits and at the very end textures just all vanishing for my last few hours.

I didn't really get to experience the romance the game had to offer. I started a fling with Lae'zel which apparently locked me out of most other romances but randomly gave me a Wyll Romance scene, a man I never deployed not once the whole game. I realized playing the game I didn't long rest enough and missed out on my chance to romance Shadow Heart whom I really wanted to romance and even though I broke things off with Lae'zel I could never progress a romance with Shadowheart, Karlache or Minthara. I want to feel this romances and see everything they have to offer but sadly the game denied me this.

The game lacks body diversity and the limited pallet of faces feels too limited in character customization. There is sadly no time in which despite being able to have a trans body I am able to talk to someone about being trans that I found not am I ever able to reject a romantic advance by stating my sexuality or disinterest in a gender. Instead it is taken as read that I am bisexual and that I am rejecting them for them and not because like from the onset they weren't on the table for my desires. I am however, not a bisexual but a lesbian and I would love to be able to say that.

That said this game does make strives to doing something I've not really seen other games do with playsexual characters which is to make them have queer history. I didn't get every characters backstories but I did get backstories for Astrian and for Shadowheart which both imply that previous to our adventures they had mostly been with their own gender. Astrian has a litany of male lovers which he courted and gave to his master, he seems to prefer men and he describes his attraction to them. Meanwhile, Shadowheart seems to have had a girlfriend before her memories were removed, perhaps an ex that was a Transgender Woman who turned to Sharr although this is more subtextual than Astrian's due to her memory loss.

These little bits of queer history make them feel much more lived and their sexualities not feel like it was because I am super special but because they are earnestly queer and I happened to have the kind of personality and body their attracted to. There is also some amount of queer NPCs not tied to our PCs although they are in the minority in a majority heteronormative cast.

The game does make some strives to fix some of the things that are terrible about D&D removing the alignment system allowing for characters to simply exist in a much more complex moral web than a box of 9 check marks for morality lets you do and a toning down of racial abilities which helps lessen D&Ds inherent eugenics. However, it does not escape D&D's racism problem with the game mostly having a lot of the characters be racist good and bad and not having counter examples of races like Goblins being good or like an important good drow or something. The companions "Racial" make up are very classic fantasy squad. 2 Elves, 2 half elves, 3 humans, 1 Drow, 1 Gith. In terms of race as we see it in the real world we got one black character and everyone else is pretty white or are a fantasy skin color and white coded maybe baring Lae'zel but idk what Lae'zel's culture is supposed to represent if there is a real world equivalent. Of course also everyone in the world able bodied and skinny or maybe if they are the right race buff. I haven't seen everyone fuck but it appears to me that everyone is cisgender. The game can't do everything but I certainty wish the game did more. The probably most offensive to me being the promoted and marketed Polyamory simply not existing and came from their own misunderstanding of the word, you can fuck around you at least in my experience can't be in multiple committed romantic relationships. That should be fixed given they marketed the game and I don't even need them to address each other just allow it to happen since it was sold to me on the idea I could kiss multiple girls romantically.

There is a total sense of wonder in doing the game thing in new ways and seeing all the ways you can handle situations and all the different outcomes. From multiple files to save scum stuff to hearing people talk about their runs I've seen tons of different ways even my highly buggy end game which did not run well I could see where if it wasn't having all the running issues I had I would have been blown away by all the options they gave me for the last 3 battles of the game. I still thought it was really cool even when it was bugging out. The game constantly threw fun new things at you, little challenges, great moments of roleplaying where it feels like your choices mattered and you could do something cool to get out of a situation. This game might be the game that has most successfully captured the magic of roleplaying in a video game.

The characters being a stand out factor in this in that I found several of the characters to be highly compelling even one man which if you know me is a massive accomplishment. I found Astrian's plot to be really captivating, I really loved Shadowheart's story, I thought some of the NPC stories were really well done too, as a character focused story teller I loved the character work that went into even characters I wasn't particularly in love with. Everyone feels like they can grow and grow in different ways too for bad or for good and often even pretending a pretty objectively bad choice can be flavored with enough deniability to understand why someone might make that choice as a character and not just like because video game let me choice bad choice. I think the characters stories make up a coherent theme I really wanna dive more into but will be restrained on here. They all deal with control. Everyone is dealing with different levels of someone's strings on them and a different relationship to those strings. How those relationships change and evolve over time is really compelling and how they compare to each other is really great. Overall, I love BG3, I think it might be my favorite game I played so far this year [but I do have a backlog, Stray Gods, En Garde!, Super Lesbian Animal RPG] and one of my favorite games in general. IF not for it's massive file size I think it's a game I'd keep installed all year round and just randomly jump into all the time. For now I am still playing, still enjoying but more than anything I am hoping by the time I beat the game a second time it is a lot smoother. If you enjoyed this kind of One Take review let me know, I wanted to try my Yuri manga format for a video game review because nobody reads my game reviews but I felt like I wanted to talk about the game. So instead of putting the huge amounts of work into the review like I normally do I wanted to just try this. If you did enjoy it one way to let me know is by supporting me on Patreon or Ko-fi or you can just reblog or comment. I might revisit the game with a more in depth review or looks more in depth at how it handles queerness or about the story and other stuff like that.

#BG3 #baulders gate 3 #Quick Review #Review #Game Review #Queer #Queer Review

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flightlessapollo · 1 year

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Trans JoJo's JJBA HCs

So turns out I will be doing those posts about the JoJo's and their genderqueer identities. Suppose I'll be going in order here, enjoy <3

(This is a long one so it's going under the cut)

Jonathan Joestar- I feel like Jonathan isn't trans, but if he knew his descendants were trans (after it was explained to him cuz he was around in the 1880s), he would be incredibly supportive. If anyone is trans in part 1 I feel like it would be Speedwagon, maybe I'll go into gender hcs for the Jobros/villains at a later date. Regardless, Jonathan is cis and a sweetie.

George (Jorge? idk) Joestar II- Honestly I can't really speak on this one, I haven't read his spinoff and I know nothing about him. If I had to guess I would say he's most likely cis but I really don't know.

Joseph Joestar- Now we get into the gender-diverse side of this bloodline. I feel like Joseph is AMAB but has a slight bit of a transfem nonbinary identity. Like he doesn't feel fully like a man but he also doesn't align fully with "woman" either and so he's kind of an in-between and he's very comfortable with that. Like she's a he/she type of person and feels very comfortable being gnc in all ways. Joseph really just plays around with gender and doesn't care what you call that, he's just living his life to its fullest.

Holy Kujo- Another cis Joestar who I feel would be incredibly supportive. She knows her parent is nonbinary and has a fluid identity so when her son came out she gave him a huge hug and told him she would love and support him in being his authentic self. She's also very supportive of her granddaughter of course and after working through the complicated feelings around learning she has a brother, she's supportive of Josuke as well. An ally through and through.

Jotaro Kujo- Jotaro is a binary trans man and he's quite happy with that. Though he does enjoy skirts and heels, he strictly wears those privately. He realized he was a boy very young and came out young as well. Though of course, he won't admit it he's a bookworm and found out what being transgender (a different term was used when he was growing up in the 80s but I don't feel comfortable using it) was when he was young and realized it aligned with his experience of himself. His coming out was a very easy process, his mom being so supportive. It was made even easier because he came out during the period of his life when he and his mother had a very good relationship. A he/him guy, he bound until he was 18, at the age of 18 he was able to get on hrt and get top surgery through the Speedwagon Foundation; he never pursued bottom surgery. His wife was a trans woman and he was the one who gave birth to Jolyne.

Josuke Higashikata(4)- Josuke is another binary trans man, though he feels more connected to his femininity than his nephew gender-wise. I think it's obvious they're quite gnc and they feel very comfortable playing with gender much in the same way their parent does/did. He realized his gender identity a bit older than his nephew, in his early teens. Josuke is okay with he/they pronouns and often expresses his gender in a very gnc way. He wasn't a huge fan of binding so he very often didn't do it, though he did deal with top dysphoria. They were fortunate after meeting the other side of their family and were able to get hormones at 16 and top surgery at 18. He waited until he was a good few years older to pursue any kind of bottom surgery, and got meta in his late 20s.

Giorno Giovanna- Another AMAB Joestar. They were gender nonconforming from a young age and as a teen they came out as nonbinary to their very close friends, though his identity didn't have much relevance to his work as the head of Passione. Nothing really hugely changed for her and she didn't do any medical transition. Socially, again he kept his gender to his close friends but used it to his advantage to ensure his safety. Often any pronouns were used for them in situations where revealing any info on the boss would put her in danger. Giorno is okay with any pronouns and their friends tend to default to they/them, which they don't mind. They continued to play with gender expression as they got older, enjoying the joy it brought them to toy with expression and gender roles.

Jolyne Kujo(Cujoh?)- Jolyne is a trans woman who knew about her identity and was firm about it from a very young age. As a child she expressed that she was a girl and her parents, both being trans themselves, we're supportive of that identity. She grew up as any typical girl would, her parents helping her change her legal documents and get her on puberty blockers before AMAB puberty began for her. She started hrt at 15 and didn't pursue any surgeries for transition but did get some professional voice training for a few years to help warm her voice and mature it. Jolyne gives she/her as an answer when asked her pronouns but doesn't mind if people (especially close friends) use they/them. She has a large interest in fashion and while not entirely gnc, she has always enjoyed finding her own unique style of what gender means to her.

Jonathan "Johnny" Joestar- This one is tough and still one I'm kind of thinking through (I plan to reread SBR so I think my opinion with crystalize when I do that) what exactly I think. He could just be cis, or he couldn't and I really don't know that i have a strong feeling either way? I get a trans sort of vibe from him but unlike all other Joestars who give me that vibe I can't pin down why. If he is trans he definitely binds but wouldn't have access to any other type of transitional care obviously due to the time period he lived in.

Josuke Higashikata (8)- Well his situation is confusing isn't it? I suppose the thing to do here is look at Josefumi and Yoshikage? Or perhaps not because Josuke is his own person (wasn't that like an important piece of his story? Forgive me folks I didn't understand all of Jojolion and haven't really touched it since it finished so-) so, perhaps Josefumi or Yoshikage were trans, but I don't think we get enough time with them to be sure. And based on Josuke alone i feel he isn't trans. Ofc in the manga we know he has AMAB anatomy but even disregarding that i just do not really feel a trans pull from him. He's certainly an ally though. Especially since I do feel Yasuho is trans and since I ship her and Josuke, she definitely wouldn't be dating a transphobe.

And yeah! There's that. Really really long and shit. Um. If you read all the way to this point ily man cuz this was just a bunch of silly nonsense that just lives in my brain. Hope at least some part of it interested you.

Final note: These are all just headcanons of mine, don't take them too seriously.

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