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#fault himself! He was a child A CHILD NOT A THERAPIST
kiritouyadeku96 · 1 year
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Peeps on TikTok when Natsuo doesn’t live up to his future profession of health and welfare worker as a child, and proceeded to “neglect” his older brother Touya be like…..
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ffsg0jo · 28 days
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toji's not used to this.
the sweet nothings whispered into his cheek, the feeling of the newly risen sun soaking into his skin. his body is telling him to move, to get up, to just grab the money you left him on the desk and leave. but your arms tighten around his torso, and he takes a deep breath in, slightly relaxing into your hold. he reminds himself that there is no money and that there is no reason for him to leave. he's safe in your arms.
he hasn't had to leave before the sun's up in a while now. he's almost forgotten how it feels to be ashamed since he met you. you saw him like he was an actual person. really looked at him, past the hard exterior, and saw more than just a man to take advantage of.
it's taking time for him to get used to being cared for, to being loved. in the year (almost two) that he's known you, it has gotten infinitely better. he's got a roof permanently over his head, is in contact with megumi (the boy's set to move back in with his father just before his birthday) and has gotten a stable job with a decent income. you've helped him with budgeting and saving money (upon his request), and he's even started a small 'megumi college fund'.
he finds himself opening up to both you and his son more, sharing little snippets of the thoughts on his mind and his feelings. with the child growing faster and faster as the days go by, he realises just how alike him and megumi are. emotionally stunted, but both loving fiercely. he has his mother's smile though.
his wife's smile.
his late wife. she would've hated what he became after her death. would've scolded him for leaving his son with a random teenager. would’ve despised the countless murders, her heart breaking at what he’s had to do for money and a roof. maybe it was a good thing she wasn’t alive to see it.
he wonders if she'd be okay with him moving on.
in another life, you both would've been the bestest of friends. you're so alike but so different at the same time. you're both his respite too. she might've left him for you if he was being honest, the thought making him laugh dryly every single time it enters his mind.
toji feels like he can conquer the world with you cheering him on and his son right beside you, in his corner. he's getting better. he really is. but progress isn't linear.
there are still nights where he breaks down, sobbing into your arms.
he tries to be quiet, but his throat clogs up, and he can't breathe. he's gasping for air, trying to focus on the way one of your hands is sifting through his hair and the other rubbing his back. but he slips, and a new wave of tears run down his face. he's spluttering, and there's snot all over your shoulder. but you patiently hold him through it all, press kisses to his hair, gently telling him to let it all out.
"i've got you toji," you whisper. "you'll always be safe with me."
when he's finally settled, you're holding a water bottle to his lips, letting him drink as much as he wants, gently dragging a cool, damp washcloth over his face when he's had his fill. your gentleness and unfiltered love make him want to sob all over again. he's undeserving, he thinks, but he'll never be ungrateful for your love or take advantage of it. he'd do anything in power to become deserving of you and cherish you for as long as he lives.
he'll never be the man he once was. his wife's death had affected him deeply in ways he'll never recover (and part of him doesn't want to fully); she was the love of his life. but he's working on reconciling with what he's becoming and the way you've impacted his life, too.
he feels guilty for loving you sometimes, the way he loved his late wife. you've experienced things with megumi his wife could only dream of. megumi loves you like a mother figure, and sometimes he finds himself loathing the fact. it's not your fault, though, and his therapist's words constantly play on his mind, forcing the negative thoughts out. it's getting better.
slowly but surely, toji is healing. his life wasn't always easy, full of hatred and anger. he's made so many mistakes, he has so many regrets (you'd never be one of them) and he's atoning for his sins. like sand during a storm in the desert, grain by golden grain, his life has been displaced with love. with his late wife's, with his little blessing's, and with yours.
he's loved and lost, and then lost a whole lot more. but now, he's been given the privilege of loving once more.
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© ffsg0jo 2024 — do not plagiarise, repost, modify, or translate any of my work, in any way shape or form; i will piss in your cereal if you do. all work belongs to me and me only.
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2hightocare · 2 months
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LOVE WAGER! 02
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Synopsis: The concept of love resurfaces as you both agree to center your psychology project on the premise that love is a choice. You propose an intriguing idea to Jungkook: he must exert every effort to make you fall in love with him within a month, to back up his belief.
Pairings: jungkook x fem!reader
Genre: college au. strangers to friends to lovers. angst/romantic comedy.
Warnings: mentions of divorce parents, neglectful parents, mentions of depression, banter, cussing, ex girlfriends, flashbacks, jungkook low key being super mean and discarding people’s feelings, jungkook hard-key depressed, implications of sex.
a/n: hai… this is so long overdue— exams month is coming and I had the biggest writers block fr but here’s my beloved babies. Song of the chapter— “love is embarrassing” by Olivia Rodrigo.
prev chapter! series masterlist!
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Love.
Love is an intricate subject in its own right. Scientists elucidate it through the interplay of three cerebral chemicals: noradrenaline, dopamine, and phenylethylamine.
That's how Jungkook perceived love. He didn't subscribe to the notion of butterflies in the stomach or the fluttering heartbeat as justifications for love. To him, love was a scientific phenomenon, a complex emotion akin to sadness or jealousy-if he could evade such feelings, he would spare no effort.
But why did his stomach churn as if his organs were performing tiny somersaults whenever he gazed at you a tad too long? You were engrossed in the menu, pondering whether to get a burger or a slice of pizza.
Seated beautifully in your loose red Formula One shirt, Jungkook couldn't fathom how you managed to make that oversized shirt look so good.
Jungkook's eyes dropped to the ribbon in your hair, wondering why someone who was a full-on adult looked pretty, adorable even-with a red ribbon tied into a beautiful bow contrasting your skin and eyes. Your long eyelashes entranced him. He felt his stomach do something, a turn? Maybe his stomach was upset-he thought to himself.
Jungkook couldn't believe he found himself willingly sharing a table with you at the same dinner two years ago, he almost killed you at. He had moved to Emberhill U two years ago, ever since he moved out from his mom's house. Jungkook's life had gone to hell, which is exactly what his mind would tell him ever since his mom got a boyfriend. To make matters worse, he now had step-siblings.
He hated every bit of it. He wasn't jealous whatsoever.
It was the fact that his mom seemed to forget he even existed in the first place. Jungkook was hurt. He tried not to dwell or cry about it since he was a big boy-that's what he told himself now, pushing twenty-two, but still, part of his already broken heart shattered more.
How could your mom forget about her child? How could she not care about her only flesh and blood? He never told her that ever. Talking about his feelings with his mom was like talking to a brick wall that nothing could pass through. Plus, Jungkook wasn't good at communicating or talking about his feelings anyway. He found it embarrassing to lay yourself out there for someone to be able to discard you at any given moment.
Jungkook's dad wasn't any different as wellbeing too busy with work to even call him to ask his son if he was okay or how school is going. But the calls or text messages never came. Jungkook was used to it. It was his everyday. It was more shocking when he did call, but he wouldn't know what that would feel like since he never called ever since the divorce. Jungkook knew the divorce wasn't his fault whatsoever. His therapist—that his high school counselor made him go to—basically talked his ear off about how anything that happened wasn't his fault, but still, it felt like it was.
Ever since everything went down, his parents seemed to forget they had a child, who still needed them.
One advantage of his situation was the freedom to do as he pleased without his parents' interference. However, the downside was their lack of concern for his activities or just him in general. Jungkook was certain: if his parents didn't love him, who else in the world would? So, he didn't believe in love. When the two people meant to demonstrate unconditional love failed to do so, he doubted anyone else would. He would like to say that it didn't affect him and it's been years since everything, but deep down it still did.
Jungkook experiences a pang of guilt every time he looks at you. Perhaps it's the way he behaved when he first met you, the influence of the romantic comedy in your hands causing him to lash out at you.
Something about your ribbons makes him feel that you’re too innocent and naive for this world—part of him wants to shield you from its harsh realities, while another part wants to disillusion you about the cruelty of the world and the disparity between love in fairy tales and reality.
"Are you done daydreaming?" You say, interrupting his thoughts. Jungkook shakes his head, attempting to banish his thoughts before raising an eyebrow at your curious doe eyes. "I wasn't daydreaming," he states proudly, prompting a scoff from you, a grin tugging at Jungkook's lips.
"It was either daydreaming or checking me out since you were staring at me for a hot minute, but I decided otherwise since you have a girlfriend," you quip nonchalantly before calling the waiter to take your order.
"First of all, I don’t have a girlfriend, and second of all, what if I was checking you out?" Jungkook challenges. He didn’t know why he enjoyed getting on your nerves—any other person he would probably flip off and never give them the time of day, but instead, here he was with you doing the complete opposite.
"What happened to the girl from the dinner?" You question, your eyes finally meeting his brown ones. A glint of something passes over his eyes before disappearing as quickly as you saw it—so you thought maybe you had imagined it.
"Who?" Jungkook says, tilting his head to the side as he leans forward, his elbows propped on the table. "the one you mentioned to me two years ago? The one you discussed intimately," you mimic his voice. Jungkook's smile widens, amused by your jest.
"If you want to know so badly, we broke up—well, she broke up with me," Jungkook clicks his tongue, observing your expressions closely. He notices the creases of your forehead whenever you are thinking or the way you bite your lower lip to contain a smile that’s threatening to come out, each time Jungkook says something dumb.
"Oh, let me guess, she wanted love letters and sweet words whispered into her ear," you mock him, knowing he said that he didn’t need to do any of that to keep a girl. "You’re annoying, Ribbons," Jungkook shakes his head with a low soft chuckle.
You watch him pick up the menu and start scanning the items as you observe him. You notice how his jaw clenches momentarily before relaxing, his tongue poking on the inside of his cheek, making you wonder if you angered him—and if you did, maybe you should do it more often since he looked hot—
Record scratch.
Your mind was playing games with you the more you watched the raven-haired boy. The more you realized he was the epitome of the boy you imagined whenever you were reading a book, the dimples on his cheeks, the scar right above his cheekbone, and the mole underneath his bottom lip had you wanting to ask him for his whole life story.
He also looks like those cute love song playlists that had all your favorite songs in them, but you knew from the way he acts around you, it was definitely a hard no and maybe you were delusional after all. So you try hard to shove those ideas into the back of your brain as far as you could.
"I knew that you couldn’t keep a girlfriend," you shrug, prompting a gasp from him as he jokingly places a hand on his heart, as if you had just dealt him a mortal blow.
"Wow, YN doesn’t think I’m boyfriend material?" Jungkook gasps dramatically, shaking his head.
"You’re literally everything that's not boyfriend material," you throw your head back with a laugh, observing his widened eyes with amusement evident on his face. "Ouch," Jungkook scoffs dramatically.
"What makes you say I’m not boyfriend material?" he says, scanning the room for a waiter but finding none, before redirecting his attention to you.
"You don’t believe in love, that's one way to start," you point out, eliciting a hum of agreement from him. "What's that got to do with being a good boyfriend? I assure you that a good boyfriend isn’t necessarily head over heels in love," Jungkook says, as if imparting a valuable lesson, while your facial expression betrays you.
"The fuck? You literally hate everything related to love. Being a good boyfriend means doing cliche shit you hate doing so much, how could you possibly be boyfriend material?" you assert proudly, prompting an eye-roll from him.
"All that stuff is just superficial shit that everyone collectively agreed on. It’s just embarrassing how people put themselves go through all that just to make someone lik—“
"Love," you interject, earning yourself a glare from across the table.
"Like I was saying, I stand by the fact all those stupid romantic gestures are pointless. Society basically romanticized love and set up unrealistic expectations— everything just leads to heartbreak and disappointment," Jungkook continues, you watch how the hard expression on his face wavers to something more… sad, like he was talking from experience.
"Have you ever experienced love?" you inquire, not sure why since you guys weren’t even friends in the first place—the only reason you found yourself sitting with him willingly was because of psychology class.
"What?" Jungkook is caught off guard by the sudden question.
"Have you ever been in love?" you reiterate, observing his expression harden once more. "No, never, and I don’t plan to," Jungkook shrugs, going back to his usual cocky self in a blink of an eye, prompting yet another eye-roll from you, marking thirty-eighth.
You didn’t get the chance to reply since a waiter came to your table, apologizing for taking so long to get to us before taking our orders.
You and Jungkook decided on sharing a pizza, and you obviously ordered a coke, which got Jungkook joking about how he isn’t trying to make you choke again, which had the waiter shifting uncomfortably beside you both while Jungkook had an eating-shit grin on his face.
“That’s not what he meant!” You chuckled nervously, your face reddening, matching your shirt from how embarrassed you are.
“No, it’s okay, you don't have to explain,” the waiter said before excusing himself.
The moment the waiter was out of your line of vision, you turned your head to the boy who’s sucking in his lips, trying not to laugh.
“What the fuck was that?” You glared, your eyebrows scrunching. “What, you both just have a dirty mind,” Jungkook shrugged, the grin on his face making you shift in your chair.
Jungkook's aura was unlike anything you’d ever stumbled upon, and you hated it. It made you want to know more about him than you should, the way he carried himself and talked had you questioning why? He wasn’t so different from other boys you had met, besides the fact that he spoke his mind as if no one was around, not caring if he hurt your feelings or offended you. It was refreshing in some way, but it still made you want to pull your hair out.
“Alright… let’s change topics, Mr. Anti-Romantic,” you say, watching his smile widen.
“What?” You stared at him, trying to think what could possibly make him smile that much. You were sure your face would hurt if you possibly smiled that much.
“Nothing, I just find it extremely hot when you call me that, it turns me on,” Jungkook said, leaning forward.
Okay, that’s not exactly what you were imagining him saying. Your eyes widened momentarily, feeling your heartbeat rise. The smile not leaving his face had you feeling hot, as if the room temperature suddenly increased.
“Uh… so, project,” you blinked rapidly.
“Yeah, project,” Jungkook agreed, smile still on his face as he saw your cheeks flush with a reddish color.
“So, any ideas about what our project can be about?” You said, grabbing the hair tie around your wrist and using it to make a ponytail, taking the ribbons out before tying your hair.
Two small strands fell from your face, tempting Jungkook's fingers to reach out and tuck them behind your ear. He wanted to slap himself back to reality since he never in his life thought those thoughts, not even with Haneul, whom he dated for five months, setting a record. He still remembered the reason she gave him for breaking up. It was laughable.
“Jungkook, you don’t even look at me with love, and I know you said when we first met that it was only attraction, but I thought you would change over time the more we hung out,” Haneul whimpered, tears gathering around her eyes as Jungkook just stared at her, not knowing what to say. Because yes, he did tell her it was all attraction, and it’s still only attraction to this day for him.
“You don’t hold my hand or give me kisses, you don’t even give me flowers,” Haneul cried, her voice cracking with each word she said.
“I told you, I don’t do that stuff,” Jungkook said. He felt bad for her since he knew she deserved better, but he didn’t feel bad about not doing those things for her since he told her he wouldn’t and never would do them. And she agreed, so why was she crying about it now when she agreed to it five months ago?
“I know you did, but I thought you just… fuck, you haven’t even introduced me to your family,” a crack is heard from Jungkook's heart, but not for the girl in front of him crying her heart out, but for himself, because yeah, he had no family he could take a girl home to, since he had no home at all. He had a house, but it was as empty as he was.
“Haneul, I told you—“
“Yeah, that you will never do that! I get it, okay? I get it, but fuck, how can you not care? Do you not feel anything when it comes to me?” The girl wept more, which had Jungkook sighing.
“I like you, Haneul,” Jungkook replied. “I love you, Jungkook, can’t you tell…” she whispered, a choked sob leaving her lips as she looked up at the man who’s just standing in front of her like nothing.
“I’m sorry,” that's all Jungkook said… because what else could he say? It was either that or that he didn’t love her, but to not take it personally since he didn’t love anything?
So instead, he said the only thing he could muster without his voice cracking.
“Love,” Jungkook finally says, his statement catching you off guard, widening your eyes in surprise.
“Love? I thought you hated love,” you raise an eyebrow, perplexed by his sudden declaration.
“I do, but love is psychological. We can discuss how we, as humans, have the ability to choose whether we fall in love or not,” Jungkook articulates.
“That’s not how love works, Jungkook,” you retort, to which he responds with a disapproving nod. “It does, though,” Jungkook rebuts.
“It doesn’t. Love is not something we can choose and pick, it just happens,” you try to explain.
“You believe love just happens, but I disagree, respectfully,” Jungkook adds, causing you to tilt your head curiously, intrigued by his perspective. “I’ve held on for too long without being in love since I said I wouldn’t fall in love,” he concludes.
“That’s because you haven’t met anyone you actually want to try with… maybe you just haven’t met your soulmate,” you suggest, annoyance evident on Jungkook’s face the moment you mention the concept of soulmates.
“Soulmates don’t exist, ribbons,” Jungkook snickers.
“I beg to differ,” you cross your arms, adamant in your belief. “I don’t know what fantasy lovey-dovey world you live in, but soulmates are just made up,” Jungkook shrugs casually.
“Maybe you are right about the fact that you get to choose who you fall in love with since I know for a fact I would never fall in love with you,” you spitefully state.
Jungkook nods, feeling a bitter taste in his mouth that catches him off guard. Perhaps it was the fact that someone had just openly admitted they wouldn’t want to love him—reminding him of the kid he once was, desperately begging his parents to love him. But wasn’t this what he was trying to prove in the first place, that love was a choice? Then why did it hurt to hear you say those words out loud?
“Atta girl, finally got it huh,” Jungkook smirks, ignoring the pang of hurt in his chest. “Alright then, if we did do that for our project, let’s say we argued that love is a choice and it doesn’t happen. How do we prove that?” you question.
Silence fills the table as you both brainstorm ideas, trying to back up this argument.
“I got it,” you say, as if a light bulb just appeared on top of your head. Jungkook nods, encouraging you to continue.
“What if we spend a month with you doing absolutely everything to make me fall in love with you? And I mean do all that cliché, romantic shit I love that you hate so much. Since I know for a fact that I choose not to fall in love with you, we can discuss how, even if a person does everything right, you still get to choose who you love,” you explain carefully, ensuring he understands your proposal.
“It’s a good idea for the project; we could use ourselves to illustrate how we pick and choose who we love, like you said,” you try to convince him, giving him the benefit of the doubt after he convinced you of his beliefs. You knew you would never fall for him, even if he did everything you ever read in books and saw in movies.
“We can call it the Love Wager,” you finish, scanning his face as he contemplates the idea.
Jungkook’s mind races, unsure if he likes the idea or absolutely hates it. On one hand, it could earn him a good grade, given the strong rationale behind it, using yourselves as an experiment to support your argument. But on the other hand, the thought of spending a month doing everything he had vocally despised for the past five years gave him the heebie-jeebies.
“Alright then, the Love Wager operation starts,” Jungkook agrees instead, while you clap happily. “Oh my god yay, this might give me an A plus,” you celebrate, giggling as Jungkook raises an eyebrow.
“It’s a long story; I just hate psychology,” you say, to which he nods in response.
“Well, we have a month together, so start explaining why you hate it so much,” Jungkook says nonchalantly, and before you could reply, the waiter hurriedly returns to your table, apologizing for the wait, mentioning the kitchen’s struggle with the influx of orders. But you keep your eyes on the boy in front of you, who looks at the waiter, reassuring him it’s okay.
The smell of fresh, hot pizza fills your nostrils as you finally snap out of your trance, looking down at the pizza the waiter is sliding onto the table, cautioning you both that it is extremely hot. The waiter continues to place all the food you ordered on the table before leaving with a bow.
“I’m starving, oh my god,” Jungkook moans as he picks up a slice of pizza and takes a bite, ignoring the steam.
“How is that not burning your tongue, oh my…” you begin to say, but you’re interrupted as you take a bite of your own slice, immediately regretting it as you burn your tongue. “Ah, ah, ha,” you drop the pizza onto your plate, sticking your tongue out and fanning your mouth with your hand. A small laugh escapes from Jungkook as you shoot him a snarky glare.
“He literally just told you it was hot, ribbons,” Jungkook says, grabbing a napkin from the container and reaching over to wipe some sauce off your lips and face. The fanning from your hand halts as you stare at his focused face, feeling yourself heat up again, but this time it’s not your mouth—it’s your cheeks.
“Why did you just do that?” you ask before you can stop yourself, as he sits back down properly. “I’m starting my boyfriend material journey, you know, since the project?” Jungkook says casually, taking another bite of pizza, watching you in surprise as you shockingly observe him not being fazed by the burning food in his mouth, chewing happily.
“Oh… we’re starting right now?” you gesture to the table between you both, indicating ‘right now’. “Yeah, we only have one month, let’s make it worth it,” he says, diving back into his food.
God, this month was definitely going to be a roller coaster.
💌taglist— @brune77e @cherryfragrancx @inlovewithharutoo @jcnggukie @vkjmjjk @seokjinspinkslipper @jayjahni @mxrecg @suciedad-divina @peterstarkchrishiddleston @aiiselle90210 @lovingkoalaface @httpjeonlicious @thekookiedealer @somehowukook @taiwan0618 @gwsjungkookie @chxrrybangtan @seokout @junecat18 @joonsanswer @ahgasegotarmy116recs @jkmylove97 @letjungcoook7 @skzthinker @whoa-jo @ziyaexe @kooloveys @sneezedonthebeat @parkinglot-nights @btsffreader92 @jjeonjjk7 (lmk if you wanna get taken off)
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il-miele-che-scrive · 5 months
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Please have your asks open okay so hear me out
Charles Leclerc x Greek ! F1 driver ! Reader
You can choose the brand anything Ferrari because I want it to be like a little rivalry to lovers . Social media au or not . Reader being in f1 more time than Charles or Charles with rookie reader .
Thank you in advance
Hello!! I decided to go with rookie reader, hoping you'll like it❤️🙏
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scuderiaferrari We are thrilled to announce a historic moment in Formula 1 as we welcome Y/n Y/l/n to our racing family! 🚀 Introducing Y/n Y/l/n, the first woman to compete in F1 since the iconic Lella Lombardi in 1976, and proudly representing Greece! 🇬🇷 Teaming up with our Charles Leclerc, Y/n brings a fresh wave of skill, determination and passion to the track. Together they'll conquer the 2024 season with the iconic Prancing Horse🐎
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yourusername I feel extremely honored to become a part of this family❤️
username1 Miss girl has no idea what she signed up for 💀 wishing her all the best tho
username2 A GIRL, GUYS WE FINALLY GOT A GIRL IN F1
username3 I have a bad feeling about this...
↳username1 wtf? care to explain?
username3 By the summer break she'll have hooked up with half the grid
username1 bye I'm not even participating in this conversation, misogynistic brain rot
carlossainz55 Goodluck @/yourusername 💪
↳yourusername Thank you Carlos 🙏
↳username4 Help why does his comment seem kinda salty
username2 wdym salty lol he literally wished her goodluck
username5 I get him tho, a girl stole his seat
username2 what "stealing" are you talking about? his contract expired, they didn't prolong it and went with some fresh blood that happened to be a woman, not to mention you have to be like the best of the best to get into F1, there was def no stealing done
charles_leclerc Exciting times ahead, let's see if you can keep up
↳yourusername Buckle up 🤠
↳username2 now THAT'S what I'd call a salty comment
username5 Charles forgot they're on the same team lol
achi_of_greece Hellenic Hurricane 🌪
↳yourusername I'll never escape from this nickname will I? 🫶
↳username1 NOT Y/N HAVING LITERAL ROYALTY UNDER A POST ABOUT HER
↳username3 Let's see if the hellenic hurricane can keep up with Lighting McQueen
username4 keep up? 🤡 miss girl will beat his ass up
username5 once again, i kindly remind, they are a TEAM!
lewishamilton History in the making
↳yourusername Omg sir Lewis Hamilton I'm gonna cry 🥹
username1 Y/n being a fangirl just like us
username4 she's so real for this frfr
oscarpiastri Finally🥴it was a bit lonely
↳yourusername Hi f2 bestie 🫶
logansargeant What about me
yourusername you know Oscar and I love you!!
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f1 A historic day at the Imola Circuit as Y/n Y/l/n, the Hellenic Hurricane, wins the Emilia Romagna Grand Prix! Congratulations to Y/n and the entire Ferrari team for this outstanding performance.
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yourusername A dream come true honestly 😭🙏
↳carlossainz55 Great job👏
↳lewishamilton So proud
↳username4 Someone explain why the 7 (8)times WC and Charles' ex teammate are more supportive than Charles himself
username2 I think it might be an ego thing? He could be jealous? Personally I think it's Ferrari's fault, they kinda messed up the friendship between CL and CS too at the end
username5 yeah Y/n is definitely the 'favorite child' to Ferrari because she's new and they want to focus more on her or smth
maxverstappen1 Well deserved
↳yourusername THANK YOU MAX
↳username6 Why is Max here and Charles is not😭
username1 A GIRL. IN FERRARI. WINNING IN ITALY. I WASN'T READY FOR THIS
username2 The haters are pretty quiet rn
username4 No cuz I was gonna ask if she found a therapist yet... But she might not need it
username6 Excuse me it's been a few weeks and we get a Y/n win already?? I love it here
landonorris Max Verstappen is screaming crying throwing up
↳maxverstappen1 I'm literally not
landonorris You must admit it was refreshing not having to listen to the Dutch anthem again
oscarpiastri Best rookie fr
↳yourusername I learn from the best (even though you didn't have a win in your rookie year)
oscarpiastri Wdym i didn't, i won sprint in Qatar. Not to mention rookie of the year
yourusername Yeah yeah, stop flexing pookie
logansargeant Go bestie
↳yourusername Can't fvck with these hoes cuz they messy 💅
username7 live laugh love Y/n
username1 the Verstappen curse has ended🙏
↳username3 you know it's probs her first and last victory in F1 right?
username1 I just wonder why is Charles so quiet
charles_leclerc Congrats 👍
↳username7 not Charles commenting after people started to wonder why he didn't say anything 😭
↳yourusername How did you enjoy looking at the back of my car? Oh wait, you couldn't even see it from P8
username1 maybe it was better when Charles didn't comment 💀
username3 if that was how my teammate talks to me I'd be pissed too
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username1 if this is angrily my name is Ayrton Senna
username2 pls if he was angry, it was only cuz he's in love with her but can't do anything about it
↳username3 he can, they're both single, if he wanted he would've, but he knows they have to keep it professional
username2 that's why I said he can't do anything, literally. i predict a relationship the moment one of them leaves ferrari (or f1 in general)
username4 dude is so in love it's embarrassing
username5 I just know he's thinking about unholy things
↳username7 angry sex lmao imagine
username6 oh to have someone who'll look at me the same way Charles looks at Y/n
username7 okay so my theory is they're attracted to each other okay? but neither of them can talk about emotions, but they tried to have a talk about it, which turned into an argument cuz both are short tempered pookies
↳username3 this is so delusional 🤡 why would they talk about it in that exact moment?
username7 let a girl fantasize
↳username5 quietly manifesting this to be true
↳username2 I'll never believe in true love if this doesn't turn out to be real
username8 No cuz hear me out guys. The LONGING gaze in the second picture? There is chemistry between them whether they admit it or not
↳username6 I totally see it, that is the stare of a man in love with the woman he's just argued with. Look at him. He doesn't look angry. He looks upset. Why? Because they had this argument and didn't make up. Now he's worried they'll get in the cars and something bad will happen either to him or Y/n and... You can imagine how the rest goes
username3 And i thought the previous person was delulu wtf
username9 I can die happily the day I see CharlesY/n happen
↳username7 be careful what you wish for, I feel like it can happen sooner than we'd expect
username10 I need to know HOW didn't Y/n fold after being looked at like this
username11 My friend went to Monaco for the GP and she has a paddock pass, she told me she overheard Y/n talk to some girl from her team that she liked Charles AND they even had "THE talk"™ (which could mean they did "IT"?), but Y/n can't imagine a relationship with him
↳username3 out of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most
↳username1 I can see that, they're very similar - competitive, short tempered - each of them is like a ticking bomb alone, so in a romantic relationship they would be truly a nuclear weapon (which doesn't mean I don't want it to happen)
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yourusername A great day for some karting 🥴 summer break!
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username1 did I gaslight myself that hard or she's really in the number 16?
↳username5 nah, I see that too
↳username2 girlie giving us hints, is it soft launching yet?
username2 16 I'M SCREAMING
username4 enemies to lovers?
↳username3 when were they enemies?
username4 well they never seemed very fond of each other
username3 then just say rivals 💀
charles_leclerc You forgot to mention I won this time
↳yourusername first and last time you got a higher place than me
username4 I can see them having "the winner gets to be on top" kinda bets
↳landonorris 👀
username1 LANDO KNOWS SOMETHING
username11 i told yall, there's too much tension between Y/n and Charles to not be AT LEAST fuck buddies
oscarpiastri What's the longest you can go without being on track?
↳yourusername Mate as I'm writing this I'm waiting for a plane home, won't sit behind the wheel for like a week or more 😭
↳username2 Y/n is dedicated to her job
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yourusername είσαι η αγάπη μου❤️🤍
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username1 the red and white hearts?? just saying but they're colors of the Monaco flag
↳username2 and the guy lowkey looks like Charles🤔
username3 looks like Charles? The best you can see is the back of his head
username2 and it looks exactly like Charles' 😌
francisca.cgomes Where credits for the last pic?
↳username4 KIKA WHAT ARE U DOING HERE
↳yourusername Pierre said not to tag either of you 😭 safety reasons or something 🙄
username4 AND PIERRE IS THERE?
username3 Okay, she's in a relationship, y'all can stop shipping Charles with her
↳username5 wdym 💀 this is literally Charles
username3 And y'all say that based on the back of his head, delusional
oscarpiastri @/landonorris and I want an invitation next time
↳yourusername Sorry pookie, it's not for kids
landonorris I'm not a kid
yourusername Then don't act like one
username5 lmao Ferrari had no idea they're getting a sassy queen
username6 Y/n is in love 🥹
↳username2 She's winning, she's in love, what else could a girl want?
username7 Not the soft launch as if we didn't know it's literally her teammate
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username1 WHAT.
username2 I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU.
username3 You know it's totally normal for friends to hang out? I'd take it as they finally made up
↳username2 UP OR OUT
↳username4 they totally look like just friends, sure😐
username5 IN HER HOMETOWN 😭 HE MET HER FAMILY
↳username7 I'm super curious how it went. "Mom, dad, this is Charles my teammate, I hate his guts. Oh, and we're also lovers"
username6 So where is the person who said they can die happily when CharlesY/n turns out to be real?
↳username2 dead probs lmao
username7 The power couple we needed 😭
username8 imagine their PR team lurking onto gossip pages seeing this
↳username1 I know FOR A FACT that the pr people do look at the gossip accounts
username9 Y'all remember how once someone said Y/n will hook up with half the grid? Staring with the teammate is easy, let's see who'll be next
↳username3 Yeah, I'm so surprised it didn't happen earlier
↳username2 stay mad lol Y/n is living her best life with the man she loves
username5 THIS and it doesn't matter that they met through being on the same team
username6 They knew each other before tho! Y/n used to be friends with Arthur, so she def met Charles in the past
username3 Oh so she tried to get with Arthur but because it didn't work out she went for Charles?
username6 That's literally not what I said. She was friends with Arthur. FRIENDS
username3 You know there's no such thing as friendship between a man and a woman?
username6 look at who is delulu now 🤡 I'm not having this conversation
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charles_leclerc Partners on and off the track
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username1 Man literally said fuck a soft launch 😭
↳username2 as he should! we've been dying for them to announce it
yourusername Je t'aime 🩷
↳charles_leclerc Je t'aime avec tes défauts et tes qualités
yourusername EXCUSE ME
yourusername DO YOU THINK I CANT USE TRANSLATOR?
yourusername WHAT "DÉFAUTS" YOU MEAN? I HAVE NO DÉFAUTS
charles_leclerc That's adorable ❤️
pierregasly Remind me, who took the first photo? 🤔
↳yourusername Kika did 🫶 @/francisca.cgomes
francisca.cgomes First and foremost I am the biggest CharlesY/n fan
pierregasly But you took the pic with my phone, I am the author just as much 🙄
francisca.cgomes No❤️
landonorris OH
landonorris I thought you won't have the balls to hard launch
↳yourusername The balls are there indeed
yourusername And more
landonorris EWWWW TMI
yourusername 😐
landonorris exactly my face rn
oscarpiastri So that's why Lando and I weren't invited
↳yourusername It's a couples trip 🤷‍♀️ there wasn't space for the Aussie and his emotional support extrovert
oscarpiastri fuck Lando, what about the Aussie and his GIRLFRIEND?
oscarpiastri Because I do have a girlfriend, you know?
landonorris HEY that's mean
logansargeant I can't say I didn't see it coming
↳username1 We all did, Logan
↳yourusername You were literally the first person I told about my crush on Charles...
logansargeant But who said I believed it would work out?
oscarpiastri HE was the first to know?
yourusername And you were the first to know about the night Charles spent in my hotel room in Monaco
charles_leclerc You talk to them about these things, chérie?
yourusername Don't act like you didn't run to Lando to tell him all about it on the next day
username4 So the theories were real after all, the spicy night in Y/n's hotel room was the cause of their argument
↳username3 She didn't say that...
username4 But it's obvious. Look - the night happened, they felt weird about it and boom there goes the argument. It makes a lot of sense
username5 However it happened, I'm glad it happened
username6 What happens now? Are they even allowed to be a couple?
↳username7 wdym allowed lol it's better than if they were from different teams, they'd have to sign NDA or something
username6 Isn't the team worried they'll distract each other or something?
username7 At least they'll be traumatized together
scuderiaferrari 🇬🇷❤️🇲🇨
↳username6 The team is indeed not worried
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yourusername The benefits of having birthday during the summer break
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username1 I love the Y/n and Charles/Kika and Pierre friend group
↳username2 they're everything I want fr
username4 okay but I NEED to know whose idea the cake was
↳username2 I would expect it from Logan and Oscar, honestly, but they weren't in Greece with them
↳yourusername ofc it was Kika's idea!!
francisca.cgomes and I'm proud of it
logansargeant It hurts to know you're making new friends 🙄
↳yourusername I figured I needed some girl friend after spending so much time with you and Oscar 🙄
logansargeant Do you even remember about us anymore?
oscarpiastri I bet 10 of your american dollars that she doesn't
yourusername how could I forget? You two still haunt me in my nightmares 🫶
username1 lmao Charles wakes up screaming box box and Y/n wakes up screaming what's a kilometer and shoe thongs 😭
yourusername that's an accurate description
charles_leclerc I swear I once heard you talk in your sleep something about running a mile in shoe thongs
yourusername And I don't even know how long a mile is, so you can only imagine how terrifying that was
lewishamilton Happy birthday to my favorite rookie
↳yourusername Every time you appear in my comment section I cry a little
lewishamilton The good tears I hope?
yourusername happiness tears of course😭
username5 Do y'all think Charles is jealous seeing his gf interact with THE Lewis Hamilton?
↳username2 No? Why? Lewis is Y/n's idol so obviously she's gonna fangirl a lil
username6 Y/n being a WAG and a driver at the same time, iconic
username7 My fav wag duo for real
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writingsbymo-mo · 5 months
Text
How you found out Takeomi is Sanzu's brother...as his secretary in Bonten
🎟 Also...you may use your tickets now 🎟
One minute, you're Sanzu's secretary, and the next, you're his glorified therapist. It all started when he came back from a mission drenched in the blood of traitors he personally put to rest. He wasn’t quite himself, even being under the influence of drugs. This was very unusual.
Sanzu threw off his bloodied waistcoat and tie, throwing them across the room. He fumbled in his steps to the couch in his office, collapsing onto it with a heavy sigh squeezing the bridge of his nose. "I'm an only child." He kept repeating over and over.
You dropped what you were doing, setting the stack of papers onto your desk and stepped over to him, sitting in the chair across from him. "Do you want ot talk about it, Sanzu?"
Sanzu repeated his sigh and shook his head. "Just let me rest a bit."
You nodded, patiently waiting for his next move. Sanzu mumbled under his breath, clearly annoyed by something. "Fucking Takeomi....you're not my brother anymore....don't need to tell me how to do my shit...."
"Wait...Takeomi is your brother?"
Sanzu froze. His eyes widened as he realized what he said out loud. He quickly grabbed your hand, bringing you closer to him and placed his hand over your mouth, staring at you, warning you not to say another word...yet. His shoulders slumped, moving his hand away when you nodded and dropped a heavy sigh. "Yes....that asshole is my brother..." His eyes darted to your chair, giving you the cue he was ready. "Where do I begin with this...."
Sanzu started with the times Takeomi punished him for the things Senju did then proceeded to blame him for not taking care of his sister because of it. Over and over again. He hated it. It wasn't his fault at all and yet, he'd be punished whether Takeomi knew or not. He wanted to say something, anything to keep it from happening but he could never stand up to his brother. At one point, he couldn't take it anymore and left. He wasn't Haruchiyo Akashi anymore, he's now Haruchiyo Sanzu.
"Hold on, Takeomi is your brother...and he did all that to you even though it wasn't? The fuck?!! You bolted from your chair in disbelief and fury. "Who the fuck does that?!"
Sanzu stared wide eyed at you from the couch. You didn't raise your voice often but how could you not after hearing everything?
"Sanzu, one slap. Just one slap across that bastard's face is all I ask."
Sanzu couldn't help but smile at the thought. What he would do to witness such a sight. He sat up, directly facing you now. "So, you want to slap my bastard of a brother?"
"Yes, please Sanzu! He deserves it!"
"Alright, let me call him in here." He stood up to get his phone from the table.
You gasp in shock, "Wait, right now? Really?!"
Sanzu picks his phone up, eyeing you with a smirk. "But of course. And I'll make sure he doesn't say anything."
-----------------------
"What the hell did you call me for at this hour, Ha-Sanzu?!"
Sanzu let him in with a straight face. "My secretary found something interesting that requires your attention."
Takeomi sighs, taking a puff of his cigarette, "alright, what is it?" He peers over to you with tired eyes.
You let out a breath you had been holding since he stepped in, making your way over to them. "Can you lean forward for me a bit?" Takeomi does what you ask unknowingly what's to come.
Slap
Takeomi was now looking at a laughing Sanzu in disbelief. "The fuck—"
"The fuck is wrong with you is more like it. That's what you get for punishing him for things he never did!"
And just as Sanzu promised, Takeomi never said a word. He never told you what was said but you had an idea.
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brucewaynehater101 · 19 days
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Saw the ask about rogues and civilians thinking Red Robin died while he's off on BruceQuest AND discovering he spent years undercover as a sex worker and thus band together to makes entire sections of the city impossible for other Bats to enter
Fuck, how does this affect Red Hood? From Jason's own personal thoughts on Tim and (how much does he learn?) to his reputation
Yeah when Tim's hero reputation is irreparably FUCKED before he does things himself and goes off on BruceQuest, all hell is breaking loose and now a good chunk of Gotham's people and rogues are . . .
As far as they know right after the kid got Smear Campaigned he fucking DIED
Wtf would they even do after that?
Dick-as-Batman is gonna have it horrifically, how are civilians and rogues gonna treat Damian as Robin? Will they try and kidnap Dami to try and save him from Jane Doe's fate?
What does any major character think of this? Individually or collectively?
How does this affect their relationships with each other? Oh God, Alfred; what about him?
During BruceQuest do rogues and civilians alike try to reach out to the third Robin's associates to see if they need help themselves like Cassie
Joker???? What about him and if this is a timeline where Tim was earlier Joker Junior'd? What will he think when news comes out what will he do?
Does Harley decide, after Red Robin returns and it's revealed the kid is alive and well, to go "Joker is objectively 100% awful but he was up to something" and adopt Tim as her own kid of sorts, but without Joker sharing custody and doing it with her owm friends instead like Ivy?
My brains melting, go crazy go stupid
Alright!!! Let's try to answer the questions ^^
For Jason/Red Hood, it depends on how much RH is associated with the Bats. Before the BruceQuest, it might not be well-known that he's allies with the Bats (especially because he's shot at or tried to beat him up). Depending on how public his aggression towards Robin (now RR) was, this might endear him to the areas that are closed off. As far as emotionally, there Jason had to resort to crime and desperate measures just to eat. Dealer's choice on whether he had to resort to selling himself or not. Regardless, I bet Jason throws up repeatedly in horror and distraught after finding out that Tim has been doing that during his time as Robin (not sure when Tim would have started, but at least as young as 15). There's a bit you can explore there with angst and shit (especially since Jason attacked Tim at the age of 15).
I think that maybe Gothamites would believe that Robin has lost his marbles in grief. However, that makes perfect sense due to everything he's been through (as far as what's publicly known of him being a child therapist, Robin, and losing Batman). Despite them thinking it's possible he did lose himself, at least he wasn't putting people in the hospital like Batman did. I think they would be more upset that RR wasn't supported and how hypocritical everyone was.
It's a toss-up on how they would treat Damian. It probably varies between despising the child for taking over R3's place, wanting to protect him, and being indifferent to Batman throwing another child into the line of fire.
Alfred is debatable. How cruel it is to Alfred and how the old man reacts depends entirely on how he acted to Tim during his years of Robin, whether the 16th birthday incident happened, and whether he intervened when Damian said harsh comments to Tim. That would change Alfred's reaction to being either "fuck it's all my fault" or "what more could I have done so this didn't happen?"
Maybe a rogue or two tries to reach out to RR's non-Gothamite associates. I'm curious how Anarky reacts to all of this.
Adding JJ to this AU would be so fucking cruel to Tim, but I'm down for that. That would give him parent issues with 3 sets of parents, but Harley is just a complicated mess of emotions and shit. I think she would take on more of an aunt role to Tim due to the whole JJ incident. There could be some angst there with Tim calling her Aunt Harley
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dorims · 3 months
Text
make you fix me [ sneak peak ]
gif creds @/endiness
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roman roy x therapist!reader
wc. ~550
genre. fluff, angst,
spiraling into a more than confusing dynamic, roman roy's relationships have always disrupted the balance between professionalism and an HR complaint. It wasn't his fault his authentic-roy-ways didn't follow the 'being a decent human being' guidebook. People fell in love with their therapists all the time anyway, and being a nepo-baby billionaire didn't save him of that fate.
tags. WORKING TITLE, NO BETA AS OF RN, prone to grammar mistakes !! the story is set some time after s4 as of rn, gif is not representative of the timeline this takes place in, allusions to abuse, being dismissive of therapy, roman uses the word looney as an insult once, tags will be added as the story progresses, these are mainly for the text below the cut
a/n. this is a little sneak peak of one my wips! the full document has 3.5k words ish but im aiming for at least 7k, maybe a little more. if anyone wants to join the tag list for this fic please send me an ask off anon or with your url
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“Are you writing that down?” He frowned, “why are you writing that down? I literally just said I wasn’t.”
Yet again, another bold demonstration of your therapeutic ineptitude. You dared to look up at him for a couple of seconds too long, scanning him over until his eyes widened in confusion while he jostled his hands in the air, preparing to retaliate. But just when he started stringing words together, you decided to start what seemed like a new sentence.
“What are you even writing?!” He wanted to tear all his hair from the roots. “I haven't said anything!”
“Well, you have.”
“It doesn’t matter!” Groaning in protest, he scooted closer to the edge of the couch, almost like he wanted to stand up. “I said nothing that means anything.”
“Then,” you clicked your pen, and his gaze immediately zeroed in on your fingers toying with the shiny metal. He gulped, knowingly so, like waiting for the stationary to stab him in the neck. But nothing had happened, and instead, he missed the way you [had noticed] “There’s nothing you should worry about.”
His shoulders dropped with the heavy weight of being scrutinized. One would have thought he would’ve been used to it by now. But from experience, he had learned that the everlasting bitterness of getting examined under a microscope would always linger. No matter what he tried, the only way of coping with it was to wait for it to pass with his tail between his legs. 
“Can you just like stop? Writing?” With his elbows resting on his knees and his face burrowed against the nook of his hands, his voice came out pityingly muffled, much like the hint of the child he had been tasked to cast aside way too soon.
 “Why?”
“Because, it’s, fuckin’ weird?” He forced himself to stare straight at the spot right between his Oxfords, shaking his head in disbelief as he attempted a laugh. “I’m not paying you to scribble on your looney book.”
You had hummed once more, and he had wanted to tell you to stop. With his gaze still zeroed on the floor, he failed to notice how the plain Moleskin had been pushed to the side, neatly closed in a genuine display of concern. Or as genuine as a therapist would allow themselves to be during their first session. 
“Then what are you paying me for?”
“To like, you know,” he shrugged in disbelief. “Ask me to draw a stick figure under the rain and tell me how to fix this.”
“Fix this?”
“Yeah, this.” The words had left his tongue sitting, heavy in his mouth, and the rest that wanted to tumble out felt foreign in size and shape, though similar in weight to that of shame. The same one that had seeped from between his teeth and gums and skin countless times when the inconceivable consequences of his actions caught up to him growing up. Shame so thick it would put blood to shame, though they sure shared the same taste. And it had always been easier to spit it out in private, drown the aftertaste with fierce scrubbing and hide the searing imprints on his cheeks underneath the covers. But the walls surrounding him were no longer the ones in his childhood bedroom, and you were still waiting on an answer. “Fix, I don’t know…me?”
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wotw round 1
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propaganda under the cut!
will graham:
OMG where do I even start??? A lot of the fandom (not the whole fandom, but a lot of them) are obsessed with Will Graham being traumatized helpless baby boy sub and it's just like… Hello? Did you watch the same show as me?
"Oh no he got his brain caught on fire with encephalitis he needs his big strong psychiatrist Hannibal to take care of him and spoon feed him and protect him from the world"
"Oh he's in love with his friend Alana but she just sees him as a friend and a psychiatric project I just need to wrap him in a blanket and cuddle him and protect him from all these people who hurt him"
Like the list goes on and on but guys, come on. Will Graham lives by himself with his 7 dogs and takes care of all of them. He's an FBI agent. HE'S LITERALLY KILLED PEOPLE BOTH WITH HIS BARE HANDS AND WITH WEAPONS. THIS MAN IS A SCRUFFY OUTDOORSMAN WHO'S LIKE 6'0" AND MAYBE NOT BUILT BUT DEFINITELY NOT SCRAWNY AND IN NEED OF PROTECTING. I think a lot of people get caught up in the fact that Will Graham is played by Hugh Dancy and he was very much a "pretty boy" character in a lot of stuff before he played Will Graham and this is also exacerbated by Hannibal being played by Mads Mikkelsen who is "slightly taller rugged silver fox European man who is going to fix my daddy issues" and since Will and Hannibal are the main couple a lot of people are like "well they can't both be big tough top guys so obviously it's the guy who's slightly bigger and buffer and older"
Will Graham is a 38 year old FBI criminal profiler who has killed dangerous people with his bare hands, went to prison for some time, masterfully manipulated others, also hunts and fishes, and he's like very good at reading people and their motivations. Incredibly smart everyday man.
Sweet JESUS sometimes the fandom makes him out to be more of a helpless puppy than he really is. Granted, even if he has his moments of mental vulnerability, it's never treated as weak by the show. He's managed to persist through some of the hardest situations. AND LIKE I GET IT, HE'S REALLY PRETTY WHEN HE'S IN PAIN AND SUFFERING BUT HE'S NOT!!! A BABY!!! Anyway I've seen a lot of fandom takes where he's been twinkified to high hell or portrayed as helpless/submissive and often it entirely diminishes that he's a grown fucking person (who has KILLED AND WILL DO IT AGAIN).
had encephalitis in s1 so everyone calls him sweaty & got framed for murder so when he actually murders people people say it’s not his fault and that he was manipulated into doing so (how do you manipulate someone into putting down a shotgun and beating someone to death with their bare hands when you’re not even there? fuck if i know. also, the manipulator in question (hannibal, his sort of therapist) actively stopped him from killing someone). “someone help will graham” is an actual tag on ao3. people treat him like a child. he is a serial killer and people act like he can’t even feed himself. it’s terrible. will graham is a liar, a murderer, a cannibal, a manipulator, and i love him for it
jason "jd" dean:
shoutout to my lovely friend who knows who they are who talk abt how jd does no wrong and hes so slay when like. he does slay. he did slay. he slayed three whole people. and tried to slay a school. like, jd does a lot of wrong. all he does is wrong. and sometimes the fandom acts like everything he does is super chill and fine and sane, and ignores what he did altogether. like yea christian slater was fit in the movie. yk whats not fit? homocide
hes also treated like an innocent lil baby who can do nothing for himself but im watching the movie rn and he just bashed veronicas head off of an emergency fire hose, and shes apparently the love of his life
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asumofwords · 1 year
Text
Smoke, Fire and Ash - Aemond POV
Warnings: This fic includes noncon, dubcon, manipulation, violence, death, forced marriage, and inc3st. Tags will be added as the fic goes on. Aemond!POV, thoughts of violence, thoughts of murder, pregnancy, infidelity, talks of assault and descriptions of injuries.
This is a dark!fic. 18+ only. Read at your own discretion. Please read the warnings before continuing.
Summary: You are the eldest daughter of Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen. You are forced to navigate the difficult surroundings of your upbringing and the eventual disintegration between your family and the Hightower's relationship. What will happen when your older and estranged uncle suddenly takes a more sinister interest in you? (Dark!Aemond x Reader)
Masterlist
Characters: Aemond!POV Targaryen X Reader, HOTD characters.
Note: Hello, hello.... I can hear the hisses again, and the cried of all of your therapists. Here is the second installment of Alys Rivers and our resident man baby Aemond. This is a POV for the recent chapters... Enjoy <3
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Harrenhal to Blood Spilt
Aemond Targaryen was a man of duty. 
Dutiful to his family, dutiful to the crown, dutiful to tradition. Whatever was asked of Aemond, he would do. Whatever was needed to be done, he would carry out without a word of protest. 
Aemond Targaryen was a man of duty.
He would go to the Sept with his mother as a child to pray, and would continue to go as he grew a man. He prays before each and every dinner, and asks for guidance and the Sevens blessings.
Aemond had not been to visit Alys Rivers for some time, sure he had been to Harrenhal, but his time had been spent elsewhere than between the legs of his lover. The Prince found he did not have the desire for it, and so when the King, his brother, had commanded him to return to Harrenhal, even after his most recent visit, he had been most irritated and almost perturbed. 
For Aemond did not want to leave the company of his wife.
His zaldrītsos. 
For you were beginning warm to him. Reciprocating. Trying.
She will always come back to you.
Aemond had spent so many years as a child going to the Sept, praying that you would return to him. Praying that you would fly to Kings Landing to see him. To apologise for leaving him. For abandoning him. For betraying him. And for the first few years of praying, he had promised himself that he would forgive you, and welcome you with open arms, for your bastard brothers had surely tainted your mind and heart against him of no fault of your own. 
But then, you hadn’t. 
You had not come back to him, you had not flown over the waters to Kings Landing upon Dragonback to return to him, you had not landed at the gates all fire and fury like he had grown to love, demanding to see him. And so all promises of forgiveness were forgotten, and the promises of justice were soon replaced with something more sinister. 
Aemond had waited for you, as a young boy, and had waited for you as a man grown. And now he finally had you, and did not want to let go. For in the short lived moments of happiness, if he could call them that, you shared together now, he saw glimpses of the young girl he loved. 
The young girl he knew. 
The girl who promised him rides upon Syndor’s back. The girl who promised to fly with him once he claimed his own dragon. And what a shame it was that the first time you flew together was him tearing you from the sky. Almost poetic.
You had always told him he would ride a most feared dragon.
How right you were.
It was not at all what he had planned. Imagined. Fantasised about. But the Gods were cruel, and worked in mysterious ways, and Alys had assured him that it was the only way for him to get you back. 
For you to come back to him.
And you had. 
And so he swore to the Seven that he would never let you out of his sight again. 
But then he did, his hand had been forced, and Aemond Targaryen went begrudgingly back to Harrenhal to seek out the menial tasks forced upon him by his King brother. And when he had arrived, he was surprised to find that there were in fact whispers of rebellion and support for his half-sister there. 
For three nights, and four days, Aemond had successfully avoided Alys Rivers, and dove into the work of following the trail whispers through Harrenhal and Riverrun, which was charred beyond recognition by his own Lady Wife. 
He had followed the hushed divulgence into taverns, homesteads and inns, and tore the heads from the bodies whose lips moved in favour of his whore half-sister Queen. His sword made quick work of up to seven men, though Aemond had not been counting, and simply sought to rid the heads from bodies before they had been confirmed as sympathisers to the Black cause. 
Aemond made quick work of it.
Anything, to get him back to you sooner. 
And then she had come to him. 
Aemond sat in the chambers left to him at Harrenhal, fireplace raging to keep the chambers warm in a Keep that seemed to be endlessly cold. A Keep that had endless halls, and chambers, and doors, all of which set an uneasy feeling in the Prince’s stomach. 
There was something wrong about Harrenhal. 
She had entered without knocking, as she always had, and Aemond had known it was her without even turning. 
He could smell her familiar scent as soon as she entered the chambers, footsteps carrying her across the room to stand beside him at the fire, as he sat in his chair. She smelt of roses and dusk, and the undertones of the sickly sweet smell of breast milk that lingered on her skin. 
Aemond turned his face to look up at his lover. 
Alys looked down at him knowingly, hair just as long and just as black as he remembered it to be. 
But she had gone through changes too. 
Her breasts were pushed up against the confines of her gown, swollen and pert. She was no longer dressed in maids robes, but instead, donned green dresses of fine silk he had made in Kings Landing to be sent to her. Her milky skin had a soft blush to it as she looked down at him, and the tops of her breasts had light blue veins running across them and down into her gown. 
One singular, slender hand rested upon the bump that had begun to grow within her. 
She was with child. 
His. 
“My dragon is conflicted.” Alys Rivers spoke, voice low and sultry, hand stilling on her stomach, “I have seen-“
“You have seen it. Yes, I know.” Aemond grumbled, “You see much and more. You see everything.”
“It does not take having The Sight to see that you miss her. That you love her deeply.”
Aemond hummed in irritation.
You had been so frightened when he had left. So small. So weak.
He needed to go back to you. 
Aemond shifted in his chair and moved his body forward, leaning his head against the swollen belly of Alys. She carded her fingers through his hair as she always did, nails scratching atop the skin of his scalp. 
“He grows with everyday.” She murmured, other hand cupping the underside of her stomach lovingly. 
Aemond pulled back and pressed a kiss to her pregnant stomach, huffing a small breath into the gown before sitting back up. His gaze trailed up her body, pausing at her breasts before stopping on her face.
Her eyes were dark and the chambers grew warm.
“I’m not going to fuck you.”
“I know.” She smiled, sitting down on the matching armchair opposite you, one hand on the arm to help lower herself into it slowly.
Aemond grunted. 
He hated that she saw things.
Hated that she was always one step ahead of him, guiding him to his future. At first it made him feel powerful, but now it made him feel more out of control than anything else. She always knew what was to come or happen. 
“She will need you when you return. Now more than ever. You must go to her.” Alys looked away from Aemond and into the fireplace, watching the flames dance. 
He watched the shadows of the fire pass over her face. 
“Why?” He had asked, uncertainty in his tone. 
Alys did not answer. 
Aemond could not sleep after Alys’ unfinished confession, telling him that she had not seen why, only that she sensed it. He had left Harrenhal, without finishing his duties there, the Black supporters be damned. There were too few of them to be any real threat, he reasoned.
The ride back to King’s Landing had not gone fast enough, though Vhagar was mighty and large, she still flew heavily through the sky. At a pace the Prince wished would hurry. But soon night turned to day, and the sun began to rise in the sky.
Aemond watched as the oceans horizon came to view, and the beaches down by the Red Keep sprawled for miles on end. The sun glittered beautifully upon the soft waves that moved up the shore. 
When Aemond swooped over the coast and across the water, making his way to the Red Keep from the back, he saw flames. 
Large plumes of fire jetting up in the air at random, with no direction of where it landed, or was aimed. The closer he got, the larger the flames became, from once being the size of a glowing candlelight, to now being taller than the highest tower in Maegor’s Holdfast. 
There, down on the sandy shore of Kings Landings beaches, stood the Bronze Fury, all bronze, and all fury, shrieking into the air as flames rose higher and higher. The sand around him had been melted to black blobs of dragon glass which shimmered in the sun.
Something was wrong. 
You must go to her.
Fear pulled through Aemond as he swooped Vhagar down towards the entrance to the Dragon Pit, her body too large to go inside. He had slid down off of her back, boots hitting the dirt floor with a thud as he landed on bent knees. 
And then he was off.
Racing up through the Dragon Pit, long legs carrying him up the stairs two at a time. When the Prince emerged from the Pit and began to make his way to his shared chambers, to you, his mother had rounded a corner he was coming to. 
Her arms were thrust forward as she moved to grab him, catching his elbows as she always did, eyes dancing with fear as she looked up at her tall son. Ser Cole stood beside her, out of breath, as though he had run to collect her. 
Something was wrong. 
“Aemond, wh-“
“What’s happened?” He interrupted the Dowager Queen, voice coming out with heaving breaths as sweat slid down his back. 
“You mus-“
Something was wrong. 
Aemond pushed past his mother, breaking himself from her grip and narrowly dodged Ser Cole's as he ran faster than he ever had, through the Keep and up to his Wing of the castle. 
Something was wrong. 
Zaldrītsos.
His heart thumped in his chest, blood rushing in his ears as he slid into the corridor that was his and up towards the door, where the Knight had opened his mouth, as though to stop him. 
But Aemond’s hand had snatched the handle of the door and burst through without a second thought. 
His only thought, was you. 
Aemond did not know what he was expecting to find when he entered the chambers, but he had certainly not been expecting to see what he did.
There you sat, deep in the tub by the fire, hair knotted and greasy, body frail and pale, head flicking over your shoulder to look at him, eyes wide and darkened beneath. His breath caught in his throat as he looked at you, and felt nausea roll through him.
You had sobbed. ‘Kepus’ falling from your lips as your eyes welled with tears, sliding down hollow cheeks, down to your neck. 
Your neck.  
Covered in the bruises from rough hands. 
Aemond sped to your side, dropping to his knees, ignoring the sharp pain that shot through his legs as his bones connected with the stones. His eye searched your face as it slid down to your neck, his large hands coming to hold your cheeks.
Something was terribly, terribly wrong.
You had flinched at his hands as they came to touch you, and another sob broke free from the lips he loved to kiss, loved to touch, loved to fuck. Lips that laughed, and yelled, and cursed, and smiled and sneered at him. 
Yet when he held you, you let him.
You let him touch your cheeks as he looked you over, eye pausing on the dark bruises around your neck. 
Something was wrong.
Aemond’s gaze darkened and the grip on your cheeks tightened.
Him. 
It was him.
His brother. 
Aegon. 
Aegon had done this.
He had touched you.
Aemond remembered times where Helaena would flee to his chambers like this. Body bruised, eyes wet with tears, and frame shaking, and Aemond could do nothing.
Aemond could say nothing. 
Aemond felt despair.
“You left me with him.” You had cried.
Left me with him. 
She thinks this is my doing. 
She thinks I am like him. 
She thinks I-
He touched her. 
He touched my wife. 
My zaldrītsos. 
Mine. 
“You knew what he would do. You know what he does.” 
And Aemond did know.
He knew everything.
Everything that his brother does. And what he had done. Aemond knew all too well. Helaena, the servants, the fighting pits. But Aemond had thought that perhaps his brother would not cross the invisible line that lay between the two. 
A line which the King had no apparent care for. 
Aemond tried to steady his breathing, the first thought in his mind at that moment was to storm to the Kings chambers and remove his brothers head with the sword that had removed so many other mens before him. 
Aemond wished to hurt him. 
Aemond wished to kill him.
For what he had done to you. 
“You let him. He was inside me.” You hissed at him, anger bubbling up through you.
His little dragon.
“Where were you? Where were you? Where were you?” Your voice crackled and broke, pain overtaking your senses. 
Where was he?
Out doing my brothers duties. 
Sent away so that he could have you. 
Sent away so that he could take from me again. 
Sent away so that he could do as he pleases, as he always has, and I will have to pick up the pieces again, as I always have had to do.
As Aemond's thumbs brushed against your cheeks, he struggled to keep himself composed, keep himself calm, for you. But all his instincts did, was scream to end the life of his oldest brother, the King. Be done with it. Kinslaying be damned. He was already a Kinslayer, he was already cursed.
What was another murder? 
What was another name to add to his list of sins?
But watching the way you crumpled in his hold, the way you had grown thin, the way your eyes were darkened and red with tears, the way you were bruised along your neck and arms, the way your throat rasped with every breath or word. 
Aemond knew he had to stay by your side. 
Aemond knew that you needed him.
She will need you. Now more than ever.
You needed him. 
And Aemond needed you in that moment too.
To ground him.
To stop him from doing something stupid. 
To stop him from murder. 
And so he stayed, and held onto you and let you cry, as he stewed in the flames of hot rage that licked at his bones and flesh. Not once had Aemond fought his rage before, but for you?
He would do anything.
Aemond Targaryen was a man of duty.
Dutiful to his wife, tradition, and his family.
But the blood of his wife ran thicker than the water of the womb he shared with Aegon.
Aemond Targaryen was a dutiful man, dedicated to his wife, the crown, and his duty as a Prince.
But a tide was shifting in Aemond where he could not resist the pull.
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theflagscene · 5 months
Text
Not to be that guy, but Night wasn’t actually to blame for the car crash that caused Day’s TBI that lead to him losing his eyesight. Night got fall down drunk yes, Day was his designated driver but he didn’t have to go, he could’ve sent a cab/uber/car to get him. But they clearly were close enough that he wanted to get his older brother home without getting him in trouble with their mother, so they were brotherly once. Night was near passed out in the back of the car, Day was chastising him for being a brat and getting drunk and having Day chauffeur him around again. A little argument that sounded like they had many times before, so this was nothing new. Whilst no doubt annoying to Day, not really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.
But when Night started to dry heave in the backseat, Day was far more concerned about the possibility of a mess in his car instead of actually worrying about his brother being sick. He was so worried about his car’s interior that he ducked his head below the console to look for a plastic bag for Night to vomit in, instead of maybe just pulling over onto the shoulder of road or finding an exit to locate a gas station. No, he took his eyes completely off the road and leaned over the centre console to dig around the passenger side area looking for a bag. Which led to him either swerving into oncoming traffic or not seeing another car swerving into his lane, but Night saw it and screamed in terror, which alerted Day to his massive fuck up.
The car crash was completely Day’s doing, Night wasn’t even in the front seat. Day could have very well killed himself, his brother and whoever he hit in the other car. Like I was saying to @negrowhat, Day should be happy all that happened was that he ended up going blind from his injury, instead of ending up in prison for vehicular manslaughter.
Trust me, I understand survivors guilt, too damn well. But the fact that Day is torturing Night to the point that even Night blames himself for what happened, it’s just unfair. Yes, Day is in pain, he’s angry, he’s lost everything and he feels like Night is taking over as the golden child, which Day used to be. But it’s not like Night asked for this, he was proud of his baby brother, he didn’t need to be the golden child, he was perfectly fine boasting about his talented nong to other people. But now Night has been painted the villain and by Day himself, Night’s self-loathing for getting drunk that evening and the ‘if only’ thoughts are driving him to the point of allowing Day to basically use him as an emotional punching bag.
Day has every right to feel as upset as he does, trust me, as someone who is slowly going blind themselves, and from a car crash too - although I was not the driver, I was in the backseat - I completely understand where he’s coming from. His whole life has changed, people are treating him differently, his entire future has shifted, people talk to him like he’s a small dumb child that needs a pat on the head and to be pitied. But none of that is Night’s fault, Day’s anger is so damn misplaced. Day doesn’t just need Mhok in his life, he also needs a damn good therapist!
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pink-sparkly-witch · 9 months
Text
The One That Got Away - Chapter Six
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Warnings: tw: child abuse, tw: physical abuse, tw: verbal abuse, mentions of therapy, heavy angst, language, self-loathing.
Word Count: 1.9k
Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x Female Reader
A/N: There are TRIGGER WARNINGS in this part - please heed these, and if you think you’ll be affected by any of them, please do not read.
A/N 2: And so here is the next part that made me cry as I was writing it. Have tissues at the ready... and maybe some ice-cream to soften the blow, and know that I am giving you a big, squishy hug at the end 💖
You can catch up here!
 My Masterlist AO3    Ko-Fi
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My dearest Dean,
My therapist gave me this exercise to write letters to the people in my life - the good and bad. To get things off my chest that are weighing me down and need to be said. She said I could send them if I wanted, but as it stands right now, I don’t know if you will ever read this. This is the first of five I plan to write. You, your mom, Uncle Bobby, and my father. He will never see his, but there is a lot of shit I need to get off my chest about him. I also need to write one to myself. Give myself forgiveness or some chick-flick bullshit! 
Dean let out a chuckle as he read her opening words.
That’s right… you read that right! It does say therapist! I know you always told me to go. Told me that it’d help. But you know me, stubborn to the core and will go out of my way to do the exact opposite of what I’m being told to do just to piss everyone off! Trust me, some things will never change! But I guess what I’m trying to say is… you were right.
I fought it and fought it, but when the nightmares got worse, and I started seeing him all over campus, at the bar I work in, the coffee shop I study in, the grocery store… You get the picture. I knew I had to at least try it, and… it’s working.
It’s such a relief getting everything out in the open. Knowing that I really, honest to God, did nothing wrong and didn’t deserve any of it. I know you never judged me, and you never would, but there were always things running through my mind that I never told anyone. Not until now, at least.
It was always swimming around in there that it was somehow my fault. That life would’ve been much simpler if I’d died that night. Maybe my father was right. He and Mom could’ve had more children and softened the blow.
I dreamed of a better life every night - at least when the nightmares stayed away. My dreams would show me what life would be like if Mom survived. Sometimes I had a little brother. Sometimes it was a sister. We’d spend weekends playing in the yard or baking cookies together. I’d run down the sidewalk to meet my father on his way home from work, and he’d pick me up and swing me around and around. He’d lift me onto his shoulders, and we’d walk home together laughing, and I’d feel like I was on top of the world!
But then I’d wake up, and the world around me was so cold and dull. He’d be passed out on the couch again, and I’d have to make myself breakfast and get ready for school. Those mornings, I honestly wished I were dead.
More tears leaked from Dean’s eyes as a sad smile overtook his features. He wished she’d had the life she dreamed about. If the spark was still there between them, he swore to himself that he’d make sure any kids they might have in the future had a life exactly like the one in her dreams.
I know you always told me that none of it was my fault, and I know deep down in my heart that it’s true, but there has always been that nasty voice telling me I’m not good enough, that I’m a waste of space and I deserve to be treated like shit. The voice that would whisper: ‘Stop complaining. People have it worse than you.’
You know it’s one thing for the people who love you to tell you that the voices are lying, but it doesn’t sink in until an outsider tells you that. So, thank you, Dean, for babbling on endlessly about going to therapy. Without it, I’d never have thought about going, and I’d have given in to the destructive ways I began using to drown it out.
I’ve wanted to call you so bad, but it wouldn’t be fair to keep putting my shit onto you. I was the one who left you. 
Dean knew more tears were streaming down his face now. He knew all eyes were on him, but he couldn’t care less. All he could think about was that he’d somehow failed her for having such negative thoughts and never fully believing it wasn’t her fault.
Before therapy, when things got too much, I coped the only way I knew how. Well, the only way I’d been taught - I drank. I also developed an unhealthy relationship with sex to feel something… anything that wasn’t pure hatred for myself. I let men use me in any way they wanted to. I might as well become the filthy little slut my father always told me I was, right? Of course, it didn’t work. Not really. It only made me hate myself more.
It shames me to tell you all of this because I know it makes me a stranger to you. It turns me into someone you no longer know, but as therapy goes on and I’ve stopped using those harmful coping methods, I realise I’ve changed. For better or worse, those experiences and getting treatment have made me a different person.
He dropped the letter from his gaze and sobbed again. He wept for the girl who was taught to drink away her problems. To the girl whose father’s words had cut so deeply into her skin that she became the thing he’d always accused her of being.
Memories of the first time she told him her father had accused her of having sex with him, and he’d called her a filthy little slut crawled to the forefront of his mind. She was only twelve years old.
Sam’s hand on his back brought him back to the present, and he huffed a loud exhale before picking up the pieces of paper and continuing.
I’m mentally and physically stronger now (thanks to kickboxing and self-defence!) I have more confidence in myself, more self-esteem, and more self-belief. But I know that underneath all that, I’m still me. I’ve found the girl I was before I lost my sparkle and before her crown slipped.
I’m becoming a whole new woman, and I need you to know that you started to build her, Dean. Your love gave her the solid foundation and supporting walls she needed to soar skyward. The structure was shaky for a little while back there, and I didn’t know if it would all come crashing down, but I had your voice in the back of my mind telling me that you loved me, that you’d always love me. And it stopped the world from shaking and the structure from crumbling.
You laid the foundations for me, and each supporting wall you built is at the core of the new me. Because of you, I found the strength to open up and start the healing process. Because of you, I was brave enough to leave and start a new life. Because of you, my colours, which started as dull shades of grey, became soft pastels and are now neons, shining brighter than ever. Because of you and your unconditional love, I’ve grown my wings, and I’m finally learning to fly without a safety net.
Thank you for not asking me to stay, Dean. Because I don’t think I’d have taken this time to fix and heal myself if you had.
I love you. I always have, and I always will. And I miss you every goddamn day. I need you to know that, and I need you to believe that. I hope that one day I’m strong enough to come home and tell you this face to face, but that’s still too far out on the horizon. 
There’s still so much building I need to do to solidify myself, and I promise I will do it. I’m gonna be that little girl who was your best friend again. I’m gonna be that young woman you fell in love with again. I’m gonna make you, Uncle Bobby, and my mom proud. I won’t end up like him; I’d rather die than make his words true.
As I read back, it feels like this is a goodbye, and I guess it is, in a way. It’s a goodbye to that frightened and sad little girl everyone once knew.
I hope with all my heart that we meet again someday, Dean. I hope you get to see the woman I’ll become. I hope she makes you proud, and I get to tell you she’s here because of you.
All my love, always and forever,
Y/N xx
Dean wiped furiously at his eyes, cleared his throat, and huffed loudly. He hugged Mary tight and whispered an emotional ‘thank you’ that was only heard between mother and son.
“I would’ve dropped everything and gone to Chicago if I’d read this back then,” Dean said.
“I know. And so did Y/N. It’s why she told me to wait until the time was right,” Mary pulled back from his embrace to look into her son’s eyes. “And it wouldn’t have ended well for either of you. Y/N needed to heal and grow. If you’d gone to her, she’d have given up therapy, sacrificed her healing for you.
“What you had was special, there is no doubt about that, and it could be again, but with her fragile upbringing and your unconditional need to protect her all the time, it could’ve only ended in two ways…” Mary stopped, and Dean nodded his head.
“Either she’d have lost herself completely, swallowed up in my shadow, or I’d be in prison for murdering her father,” Dean finished for her.
“Exactly. Y/N knew that, too, and she didn’t want either of those futures for you. She wanted to grow and learn how to take care of herself. Stand up for herself. Fight back. She could only have done that alone. She had to become someone you didn’t need to protect,” Mary said.
“I’ll always protect her. I’ll protect everyone I love,” Dean countered, and Mary smiled.
“I know you would, Dean, and we are so proud of you for that, but she’s a lot stronger than you give her credit for, and there’s a big difference between needing to protect someone and wanting to,” Mary cupped his cheek and gave him a soft smile before she moved to sit at the table.
“So, what happens now, son?” John asked. “I know you still love her.”
“I’ll always love her, but I’d like to find out if I’m still in love with her,” Dean replied.
“It’s clear that you are, Dean,” Sam added with a smirk. “I don’t think you ever stopped.”
“Yeah, maybe. But that letter is at least ten years old, and Y/N talks about being different. Shit, I’ve changed too. Who knows if that means I still love her, feel nothing but platonic love or will fall in love with her all over again?”
“I don’t think she’ll have changed as much as you think, Dean!” John said with a soft smile.
“I hope not,” Dean smiled. “Still, I don’t wanna get too excited. She might not be in love with me anymore. Plus, she’ll have a lot on her plate with moving back, settling into a new job, and a new life. Her dad is dying-”
“Dean, you can’t put off seeing her,” Sam insisted.
“I won’t. But I won’t force myself back into her life when everything’s already in the air for her. I’ll let her settle, and then if she agrees, we’ll meet and talk.”
Next Chapter >>
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adrealucia · 1 year
Note
Hi could you write a headcannon where the female reader is best friends with Lo’ak and Neteyam either separately or together up to you? Thanks
of course bb, anything you want!
⋆⁺₊⋆☾ the sully brothers as your best friends ⋆⁺₊⋆☾
⭒ a headcanon ⭒
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꙳⸌☆⸍꙳
ⓘ what you would talk about
⇾ neteyam
he would tell you everything about his hunting trips
would definitely talk about tuk a lot
he gives the best advice
rather talks about you than him
probably asks you out about lo’ak, because “he never talks to me about these things”
would always want to know how you’ve been and what you have been up to
⇾ lo’ak
y’all be gossiping about everything and everyone
talking about food
he would come to you for advice, especially when he likes a girl
would be ranting about his family a lot
would also always ask you out about your dating life
definitely tells you about all his problems
꙳⸌☆⸍꙳
ⓘ how they would treat you / act around you
⇾ neteyam
he has to be your own personal wingman, he would always look out for someone who would treat you right and when he found a potential man for you.. jesus the poor boy would have to prove himself
kind of treats you like a little sister
would always act like he’s the older one, even if he might not be
he’s so protective over you, like one bad word about you and he goes furios.
⇾ lo’ak
would treat you like one of his ‘bros’
play fights with you, but would never let you win on purpose
he would definitely try to convince you to do something stupid (probably with him together)
is so competitive for no reason
makes fun of you 24/7
y’all have so many inside jokes
꙳⸌☆⸍꙳
ⓘ how they act when you argue / when they are angry at you
⇾ neteyam
doesn’t really raise his voice at you
he just kind of disappears and ignores you
would definitely be the first one to say sorry
kind of takes the blame on him, even though maybe it wasn’t even his fault
he would make a funny joke afterwards and pretends like nothing has happened
he would not tell a single soul what happened between the two of you!
⇾ lo’ak
stubborn like child
would never say sorry first
he would definitely ran off to his other friends and tell them everything, putting himself in the better light though
would literally still be so salty, even after you guys made up
two weeks went by and he would still talk about
lo’ak would seriously throw hands and scream at you, putting on a real show when arguing
꙳⸌☆⸍꙳
ⓘ how they would comfort you if you’re sad
⇾ neteyam
would literally analyse the whole thing, trying to find a solution to whatever has made you sad
he would hug you, letting you cry against his shoulder
probably gets you a little present or makes you food, so you would feel better
kind of acts like a therapist
he would definitely go to his mom and dad and ask them would he could’ve done better to comfort you
⇾ lo’ak
probably wouldn’t know what to do at first
“who do i have to beat up?”
kind of awkwardly pets your back, trying to comfort you
would be so mad about whatever made you sad
would 10/10 tell you about a time he was sad and you would have the biggest deep talk with him
would eventually distract you with jokes
✿⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽˚。⋆ ✿
authors note: writing this has made me realised how different these two are, but honestly couldn’t decide who i would wanna befriend more :((
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aviolettrose · 2 months
Text
So I once posted an idea about the Arkham Knight timeline, and I have another idea for it
(Triggerwarnings for mentioned SA, vomit and things you shouldn't do with it, and torture)
(It will get dark, I'm not going into detail but the stuff is still dark)
(please look out for your own safety and scroll further as soon as you get uncomfortable)
Bruce rescues Jason after locking the Joker up into Blackgate.
The Joker taunted that B's little bird doesn't scream like he used to, and Bruce just freezes and goes to Arkham where he finds Jason completely injured and unresponsive.
Bruce brings Jason to the Justice League Station (because he doesn't trust anyone else more with his son at the moment), and there he gets the needed medical attention.
Jason needs a wheelchair, he can't use his hands properly (he also has different kind of injuries), and he doesn't really talk to anyone (only to:
-Diana, because she was his childhood hero and she's the only thing that never changed in his entire life;
- Barbara, because it's his fault she is in a wheelchair she was the first person that he trusted when he moved into the manor (because she's a woman and he only trusted women back than due to trauma he got by men in Crime Alley) and it greated an special bond between them;
and
- Alfred because it's Alfred).
The younger members try to get him to talk but Jason looks at them empty as if he doesn't really believe that they're there with him and it freaks them out.
Jason can't really eat. After just eating either rotten food or living things (like mice), his gut can't keep normal food in (it's normal actually, when the gut gets only weird things or nothing, it needs time to accept normal food, that's why you have to eat light food at first like chicken, rice and so on).
Dick and his team (either the Titans or the young justice team, whoever you prefer, tbh) tried to eat with him once, but Jason threw up into the trashbin. He was only able to because Dick saw that something was wrong and caught on, on time, and held the bin.
(Jason had a panic attack afterward because he thought that they're going to force him to eat it, like they did)
Then Dinah tries a therapy session, but he just looks her deep in the eyes and says , "The last therapist I saw graped me. Are you going to grape me too?"
Dinah tries to gain his trust by saying stuff like, "I would never do something, you don't want to. If you want, I can talk to Diana and ask her if she can be with us as your support. Do you rather wanna talk to her instead of me? "
However Jason just replies,
"If I ask you to kill me and to finally release me from my pain, would you do it?"
And Dinah just excuses herself, and as she leaves the room, because tears threaten to come out of her eyes and she can't cry in front of a patient.
(She cries because Jason is a child, let's say about 14 or 15, he came to Arkham when he was 13, and he shouldn't ask people to k¡ll him)
(Jason also leaves the room after her because he knew that she was lying and wouldn't help him. No one wants to help him)
Clark once wanted to help him with his physiotherapy, and Jason just started to scream at him that he should leave, but Clark didn't leave, so Jason started to crush this man's mentality with question.
"Why won't you leave me alone?! Did you enjoy it so much to hear me suffer that you want an encore?"
"Did you like the way I threw the rotten food up? Or how they fed me with rats and cockroaches?"
"Did you enjoy it to hear me scream when he pulled out my nails?"
"Did you enjoy it to hear me getting waterboarded and electrocuted?"
"Did you enjoyed my screams when they graped me? I bet it get you off. Did you listened to me getting g@ng graped while you slept with your wife?"
And Clark Kent, Superman himself, started to cry, knelt down on his knees and started to apologize to Jason, (who sat in his wheelchair and just looked at him with so, so, so much hate) telling him that he hadn't heard him the whole time and that if he did he would have been the first person to show up to help.
But he wasn't the one who showed up and rescued him.
It was his dad
Bruce
Batman.
He doesn't know how to feel about Bruce. Yes, he rescued him, but he is also the reason he was there, but he replaced him after three months, as if he meant nothing.
Jason hates Tim.
He calls Tim pretender and taunts him every time he sees him.
"Do you really believe that you're soo much better than me?"
"It's just a question of time when he replaces you, like he did with Dickiebird and me."
"You're nothing special."
(In reality, he tries to get Tim to quit so he doesn't end up like Jason)
(And it hits Tim really hard because he admires Jason, and Tim tried to tell Jason that if he wants Robin back, he can, but Jason just scoffs because no one should be Robin. Robin died in Arkham, and that's it.)
(Here's a list of all the torture that happened, I got it sent by @caramel----comforter (<3), so please look take a look by both blogs if you've time)
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insomanic-fanfication · 2 months
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🍃🌹Dick Grayson SFW Alphabet 🌹🍃
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Author's note: I'm slowly getting back into writing because I'm currently working on changing careers. So, I'm going to edit and refresh my pinned posts and do a couple of other things. Proofreader: Bilbo Baggins
__________________Alphabet Under the cut__________________
Affection: How affectionate are they? How do they show it?
Dick is very effective, especially when it comes to physical affection. He will always find a way to touch you, even in public. Holding hands, an arm around your waist or shoulders. Even when you sit down, he'll have a knee touch yours. Loves giving you quick pecks every time he sees you.
Best Friend: What are they like as best friends? How would you become best friends?
Dick is the type of guy that likes to make sure everyone feels welcome to places. You were probably new to Gotham or the team, and I began conversing with you about doing a check-in. 100% older brother therapist instincts at first.
Cuddles: Do they like to cuddle? How would they?
Even before you two start dating, they'll be cuddling. Dick thrives on physical closeness to the people he's close to. Whether hugging his friends or cuddling plies with his brothers while watching movies. He loves cuddling.
Domestic: Do they want to settle down? How good are they at cooking and cleaning?
Dick is good at cooking; he's good, not great. He needs to have a recipe to follow with clear, in-depth instructions. As well as you to help him keep track of the tasks to do in order. His ADHD is not kind to him when he tries to cook by himself; 20 minutes to bake in the oven? Cool, he can watch a YouTube video or scroll on social media. Need to remember the food in the oven.
He'd like to settle down, but he feels he never could. It would last a week until his old team is on a mission or his brothers are on a case, and he's putting on the suit again to help.
Ending: If they had to break up? How would they?
He tries not to let it show, but he has a crippling level of self-doubt. If he broke up with you, it was probably during one of his depression spirals, feeling like he is just not good enough to be with you. Feeling like he is just holding you back or you could do better.
He'll become closed off, trying to push you away. Then, after a while, if you try to confront him or you pry, his self-doubt will overflow and say you two are breaking up. You can try to help him get through it and reassure him. However, if he's not ready for the conversation, in that mental state, he'll try to push you away more, even though he wants the exact opposite.
Fiance: How do they feel about commitment? How long before they pop “the question”?
Dick is exceptionally loving and very passionate; however, he has extreme commitment issues, mostly built on his own self-doubt and crippling anxiety. As the oldest child, it's tough for him to voice his problems and stress. No matter how much he tries, his brain locks that in his throat. Wanting to focus on other people's pain and issues instead. He probably won't propose unless you ask him where he sees your two relationships going, making him think about it. He loves you very much, but it's not that; he just doesn't trust himself not to hurt you. Even if it wasn't even his fault that you got hurt in the first place.
Gentle: How gentle are they? Both physically and Emotionally? 
Dick is rough physically but lovingly. He won't go easy on you during training, but you will notice he tackles and dodges more with you. Using more defensive fighting instead of defensive tactics. Outside of that, he is incredibly gentle emotionally. He is gentle but is rough as much as you are comfortable with. Being sarcastic or a shoulder to cry on.
Hugs: Do they like hugs? What are their hugs like?
If you two are dating, be ready to mind your own business and be lifted into the air by a tight hug, as if his hugs are linked to the love he has for you. He absolutely loves hugs and hugging you. He loves the hugs where you both face each other and his arms around your midback. Not just because of the closeness of it, but he also attacks you with kisses and compliments, and you can't escape.
I love you: How fast do they say the L-word?
Physical affection, he can do no problem, but verbalizing it is much more challenging. He's trained his brain to know the best thing to say in any situation, so he fears saying it and not meaning it. Worried that he only said it cause that's what you wanted him to say. He probably said it out loud while looking back at the memory you two shared first, then paused for a second, and then was like, ' Oh?... OH, I LOVE THEM!'.
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? What would they do?
He would 100% get jealous; for the most part, his jealousy was the strongest before you two started dating. But he's the silent boiler when it comes to jealousy, and his eyes give me away every time. Wally absolutely used this to his advantage to get Dick to confess to you or make a move. During parties or hangouts, Wally would put his arm around your neck or get close to you while you two were talking with a shit-eating grin as he saw Dick Death staring harder than Batman has ever done.
Kissing: What are their kisses like? Where do they like to be kissed/ kiss you? 
For regular kissing, he loves to do a slow, long kiss, taking his time to enjoy the presence of your lips. However, he also loves giving you quick pecks on the check every time he sees you during the day. Will melt into the floor as a gushy mess when you provide him with forehead kisses for greeting as you two are working or on patrol.
Little ones: How are they around kids?
He loves his brothers! But does he have kids of his own? Hell no. He has a crisis spiral almost every week. How could he care for someone who relies on him for support and care? He loves caring for his brothers anyway, often feeling more like a parent to them than a sibling. He's been woken up by his brothers breaking into his apartment or knocking on his door in the middle of the night plenty of times. He's already living the dad experience.
Morning: How are they during the mornings?
He likes to tell people he's a morning person, but he takes every chance he gets to oversleep. Did he patrol until 2 a.m. with no scheduled work for his day job? Sweet, he'll just sleep for 3 hours and then do some stuff around the house. *proceeds to sleep for 14 hours, only waking up cause Tim called having a panic attack *
Nights: How are they spent with them?
Dick, like most of the Batfam, can spend the whole night awake. Even going weeks without sleep if needed. So if he has to work on a case, you two like to cuddle on the couch during those nights after eating dinner, where you fall asleep buried into him as he works.
When not working on a case, you patrol if you're already asleep. He'll try to be as quiet as possible to not wake you while changing and getting ready for bed. Most of the time, he accidentally wakes you up when he gets to bed. To which you trap him into your arms sleepily, as if to say, no, you're leaving again now. It's cuddle time. Even the bathroom waits until the morning.
Open: When would they start revealing things about themselves?
You already know the most significant part if you are a hero. If you are just a civilian, then he'll try to hide his heroism as long as possible until he thinks it best to tell you. Either way, he'll try and be an open book when it comes to his relationship history, only opening up about his sexual assault and rape trauma WAY later into your twos relationship unless it starts to cause problems within your relationship with him.
Patience: How easily angered are they?
Dick is very patient, but he has a big temper, especially if he sees you doing a habit that is dangerous or self-harming in nature. He'll bring it up delicately to discuss it with you. But if you brush him off about the concerns, it will get into a heated argument, where he'll yell and cry about who he can't stand to see you do not to yourself, and stop pretending it's not happening.
Quizzes: Do they remember everything or nothing about you?
The answer is yesn't. He'll remember your side comment about your favorite flower, but if he doesn't set a reminder in his calendar for your birthday, he can't remember it to say his life. But he knows the time you take your meds! And he loves to shake them gently like a music shaker when walking up to you when you haven't taken them yet.
Remember: What is their favorite memory in the relationship?
His favorite memory in the relationship is at the end of your 2nd date; it began to rain when it wasn't supposed to. So, while you two were waiting for Alferd to pick you up, you huddled under his jacket to stay dry and had your first kiss.
Security: How protective are they? How would you protect each other?
Dick knows you can handle yourself; does that mean he won't protect you? Of course not! You two are attached at the hip during patrols and missions. Be ready to have a brooding hen by your bedside if you get hurt during one. If you're a civilian, he'll be more protective of you. Following you on top of roofs as you walk the streets at night until you are safe at home. Will even ask his brothers to do it if he can't.
You almost jumped out of your skin the first time you were expecting to look up to see your slutty waist hero boyfriend making sure you're getting home safe, to instead be making eye contact with a man built like a fridge with blood on him waving a gun like a concert glow stick, as greeting to you.
Try: How much effort would they put into dates, gifts, anniversaries, etc?
Dick has a lot going on in his schedule, so it's rare to have a time when you're both free to go out for dates or anniversary dinners. So he'll put in as much effort his being can do to make them perfect and go as planned. Don't be surprised if you look at a camera and it moves up and down; it's Baraba saying hi; he asks her to watch the place to ensure no villains or poppazi are planning on making an entrance.
Ugly: What are some bad habits of theirs?
A bad habit of Dick's is taking care of others, sometimes in a way that hurts his own well-being. Did he get shot in the arm? It's okay, he's alright, about Tim? Is Tim okay? Another Bad habit he has is he tries to ignore his problems until they are eating him alive.
Vanity: How concerned are they with their looks?
Dick is very concerned with his looks, but he's not self-absorbed. He often uses it as an outlight when he can't take care of something mentally. He'll be training or working out until exhaustion if he is angry about something. It may not solve the issue, but he feels better now to look at it with a level head. He also uses his looks as a form of self-care. It's how he recharges.
Whole: Would they feel incomplete without you?
When Dick falls in love, he falls hard. So without, he'll feel like that part of him, left with you.
Xtra: Random headcanon for them?
He is very goofy sometimes; one of his favorite things to do when you two are sparring is when you are trapped under the other. He turns the sparring into a ticking match.
Yuck: What are some things they don’t like, in general, or in a partner?
He hates people who lack empathy; I'm not talking about people who close themselves off due to trauma, but that ACTUALLY LACKS empathy. He could never date someone fine without batting an eye and leave their friend or ally for dead. And he can tell the difference. He also could never date someone who shares a lot of traits with the Joker.
Zzz: What is their sleeping habit?
Dick either sleeps for 14 hours or won't sleep for 3 days; there is no in-between. However, if you do, he will get a half to a ''normal'' sleep schedule because he wants to spend time with you. But if you don't have a regular sleep schedule, he's fucked! No matter what, though, he constantly moves in his sleep for the first 2 hours, then stays still for the rest of the night after moving on to his stomach. You would mistake his sleeping for he suffocated himself in his sleep. If it wasn't for his muffled snoring.
___________________________________________________________
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brucewaynehater101 · 1 month
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Hemlo! Here are some sparkles and hearts for all the delicious posts and answers!! ✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️ ✨️
I also have ✨️Questions✨️! In Tim being Bruce's Father Figure AU/headcanon, how do you think Tim's 16th birthday will play out? Will Bruce even plan it? And if he does, will this AU's Alfred go with it? How differently do you think Tim will go about tackling Bruce's lesson on paranoia? And how do you think he'll discipline Bruce after all is said and done? (I am sorry for the many questions 😅😅😅)
The sparkles are really cute. Also, don't know if it was on purpose, but urban dictionary says "hemlo" is how dog's pov says hi???
(Also, I love questions and asks so much. I sometimes take a bit to respond [cause I work nights, so my sleep schedule is whenever I can when I don't work], but I genuinely love all of them).
As far as Tim's 16th birthday, fuck. Alright. I guess this AU/hc can get some more angst. It's been too light and funny lately. Why not?
Okay.
~~~
Tim stares at the object that started it all. It's perched innocently on his desk, but the teen wants nothing more than to shatter it into dusty remains.
Bruce, his son that he willing took responsibility of, his son of three years, thought it was fit to cause Tim to have a mental breakdown. Bruce isn't aware of the true nature of their relationship. Bruce thought it was fit to cause rampant paranoia in a child.
Where had Tim gone wrong?
He thought Bruce was getting better.
Were the sticker charts, the car rides for sleep, the persistent checking for injuries, and the forced self care the wrong moves? Was Tim too harsh? Too soft? Where had Tim failed his son so that he thought this was an acceptable and appropriate set of actions? Why did Bruce do this to him?
He doesn't know.
And Alfred. He thought the two of them were on the same page when it came to parenting Bruce. Were the many discussions over tea, the late night baking, the aid around the house, and the chats during gardening for naught? They were supposed to rely on one another, inform the other when Bruce was going too far, and stop the man. Tim had so many fucking conversations with Alfred on permissive parenting and being a bystander. He thought they were in agreeance.
Not only did Alfred fall back to old and wrongful ways, but he was now an active participation in Bruce's emotional abuse and manipulation. Can Tim even trust Alfred to protect Bruce's kids from Bruce? Was Tim just special?
He doesn't know if it is worse for Alfred to target Tim specifically or for the older man to allow such actions against all of Bruce's children. Both thoughts are unbearable.
The man had the audacity to joke about Tim being of age after this clusterfuck, as if Tim hadn't been an adult in a child's body parenting an adult nearly three times his age. As if Tim hadn't aged a decade in the last three years. As if Tim hadn't done enough.
Gods, Tim is tired. He doesn't think reddit can help him out of this either.
Tim brushes a finger against the offending object as his face screws up in overwhelming grief, frustration, and betrayal. The smooth edges of the cube are cold, and his face feels hot.
He won't cry.
Bruce is a bastard, a man-child who criticized Tim for believing in time travel (as if they both hadn't seen it happen before).
It's infuriating and heartbreaking, but it's not the end. Tim can still fix this. He'll be more vigilant this time as he screws the errant pieces of Bruce's morality and judgment back together. He'll study more parenting books, attend more psychology online courses, and find a therapist he can ask parenting questions to anonymously. There's still more Tim can do.
He can still save his son from himself.
There's still time.
Tim pockets the reminder of his failures towards his son as he goes to Bruce.
He won't ask Bruce to apologize.
He can't.
It's Tim's fault, after all.
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The Eighth Sense e5 & e6: portraying trauma with nuance
Episodes 5 and 6 of The Eighth Sense have really blown up a discourse bomb in tumblr’s BL scene. I had been putting off watching these episodes because I had gathered that episode 6 ended with something pretty distressing, and stuff like that sometimes hits me pretty hard, especially when it’s left as a cliffhanger. But I was already tempted to rip off the band-aid and watch it anyway, and then everyone has been debating aspects of these episodes. So I just had to see what all the discussion was about and figure out my own take on it.
In case it’s not obvious, the following will have spoilers for the series up to and including episode 6. I have a lot to say about this, because it touches on subjects that have been a major focus for me in my personal life, in my previous work as a trainee therapist, and in my research and writing. But I want this to be a manageable read, so I’m going to put things in bullet form when I can to keep them brief and organized and I’m going to make some section headings to help with skimming or skipping around. But before I launch into the rest, there’s one thing I should get out of the way: I don’t think any part of episodes 5 or 6 are a hallucination, a dream, or otherwise did not occur. I do think that there are aspects of the way the show portrays certain things that indicate dissociation and/or an acute trauma response. I’ll talk more about that below. (Hey, @waitmyturtles, this is the epic TES post I’ve been writing off and on for two days! I hope it’s of interest.)
Here are the section headings I’ll use below, to give a sense of what I’m going to talk about:
Conceptualizing Jae Won: Or, what I think is happening with him
Jae Won’s therapist - comments and interpretations
Jae Won’s therapist - medication management
Human beings’ amazing capacity for self-blame
Interpreting show production choices psychologically
Are the creators of The Eighth Sense going to pull a “who shot JR?” move?
Conceptualizing Jae Won: Or, what I think is happening with him
We don’t know how his younger brother died, but we know that he died in front of Jae Won when they were together, and it’s clear that he blames himself. I would be shocked if he was actually at fault even a little bit. But it does appear to have happened “on his watch” in a sense that lends itself to blaming himself. This is a huge issue, one that I’ll discuss in more detail later on.
Even before his brother’s death, Jae Won was clearly under a ton of pressure from his parents. And his father appears to be emotionally and, almost certainly, physically abusive. This is also far more likely to have pre-dated his brother’s death than to have only developed afterward.
In addition to pressure and abuse, I think it’s pretty clear that Jae Won was a parentified child. This means that he was put in a position of having to take care of his parents’ emotional needs as a child. This kind of role reversal has profound effects throughout the parentified person’s life. 
Jae Won’s self-blame about his brother’s death means he was always going to be predisposed to stay stuck in the chronic version of the acute trauma response instead of moving through the natural healing process. In other words, he was almost certain to develop PTSD.
This is less clearly shown in the show, but my impression is that Jae Won has a deep-seated depressive tendency that existed before the loss of his brother. This would make sense for someone who faced the family-of-origin difficulties that he did. 
When he did develop PTSD, as I have no doubt he did, Jae Won’s existing challenges were going to make him even more likely to develop the depressive symptoms of PTSD than others. We’ve seen some of these in the show already:
feeling alienated from others, unable to form meaningful connections with them,
anhedonia (an inability to feel positive emotions), and
negative beliefs about himself, other people, and the world.
All of this is happening at once. He’s dealing with PTSD, but he also still has all the same habits and beliefs he had before due to the parentification and training in people-pleasing, so he’s supposed to bottle up all of this pain. And if it’s his fault (in his mind) that his brother died, how much more does he owe his parents than he ever did before? This is a distorted, unhealthy way of thinking about all of it, but these kinds of maladaptive thoughts and expectations happen all the time with trauma survivors.
Jae Won’s therapist really sums all of this up very well when she says, “All your worries, not doing what you want to do because you do not want to let your parents down, and trying hard to be a good person to everyone because you do not want to disappoint others. Don’t you think it might be all because of your younger brother? Your younger brother, who got into an accident while with you. Your younger brother, who you couldn’t protect. And you are struggling to live your life for him as well.” 
Jae Won’s therapist - comments and interpretations
I went into this series feeling nervous about its portrayal of therapy. I was very excited that therapy was being portrayed at all, mind you! It’s horrifying how seldom we see therapy mentioned as an option, much less shown, either in BLs or kdramas, and I’ve hoped for this to change for a long time now. But therapy  is shown in an inaccurate way so often in media. And often, we see therapists and other mental health professionals breaking ethical rules. So I was on my guard, big time.
There’s one thing I really take issue with about Jae Won’s therapist, and it’s somewhat of a small thing: her office is way, way too dark! I just don’t think that kind of low lighting, with a lot of the illumination coming from her aquarium and other tinted light sources, is professional or conducive to therapy work. Of course, it’s obvious that her office is lit in this way because it looks cool and sets a certain mood for the show. And that’s fine. It’s a very stylized show in a lot of ways. But it makes me a little tweaky to watch it. 
Some of the things she does in the therapy space with Jae Won are a bit open to interpretation, and could be debated. But I view her in a fairly charitable light, and I found that a favorable interpretation wasn’t difficult to justify at all. I ended up viewing her (so far, at least) as a very skillful and effective therapist.
I loved it when she joked, in the first scene after the credits for episode 1, “For God’s sake! Just tell me what your worries are!” Jae Won isn’t great at sharing. He’s been trained from early childhood not to show his messy, vulnerable emotions around authority figures. Jae Won is not an easy client by any stretch, so she may have been showing a mild version of some real frustration with him when she began that comment with mock-hostility. But he seems really sensitive to criticism, real or perceived. Coming at him directly about this could be risky. Using humor is a good way to get around this sensitivity pretty effectively. It’s worth noting, though, that I wouldn’t endorse this kind of move by a therapist unless they knew a client very well and had built a solid rapport with them.
The comment I quoted above (”Don’t you think it might be all because of your younger brother?”) connects so many of Jae Won’s interpersonal difficulties to the loss of his brother in a skillful way. It was very astute and well-put. But there are some things I would quibble with about it.
First, I’m kind of surprised that she is only saying this explicitly this far into therapy with Jae Won. It seems rather late to make such an observation considering this constellation of issues has, without a doubt, been in place the entire time they’ve been working together. This could definitely have been done sooner.
At the same time, paradoxically, it’s delivered abruptly, as if she blurted it out too soon. Actually, the abruptness comes from the fact that there’s not sufficient lead-up to the comment in their discussion beforehand.
Though the show’s treatment of mental health is strong overall, I think this part of this scene suffered from flawed writing. If I had written this scene, I would have made a change that I think would have resolved both of these issues. Instead of introducing this insight as if the therapist has just voiced it for the first time, I would have presented it as something she and Jae Won have touched on together more than once during their work together. Anyone who’s been to therapy knows that the same ideas, which appear as shocking revelations at first, often have to be returned to many times and worked through before we can benefit from them. She could have said something like, “This is that issue we’ve talked about before, right? It seems like another case of your beliefs about your brother’s death causing trouble in other areas of your life.”
Even better, she could have been shown quoting some kind of metaphor or shorthand Jae Won came up with himself when they’d spoken about this previously. For example, I had a client once who used to talk about metaphorically carrying around a giant, heavy book where he wrote down all of his failures. He described it in a similar way to “the catalog of mistakes” (I’m not going to share his actual wording, of course). Whenever I would use his wording, saying “the catalog of mistakes” or even “the catalog,” all of our prior discussion of that issue came into both our minds immediately. It also served as a reminder of our rapport and the importance I placed on his perspective.
Jae Won’s therapist - medication management
There’s one other area of Jae Won’s interactions with his therapist that is a bit hard to interpret. The exchange he has with his therapist about the amount of medication she’ll prescribe to him certainly seems important, but it’s hard to tell what exactly it means.
One thing that complicates this is the fact that he is receiving therapy and medication management services from the same provider. In other words, she seems to be a psychiatrist who provides therapy services. In most parts of the United States, this is rare (though that wasn’t always the case). I haven’t been able to tell whether this is more commonplace in South Korea.
Because she’s a prescriber and a therapist, asking for three weeks’ worth of medication instead of two also means waiting longer before having another therapy session. Maybe Jae Won really is just busy and trying to cut down on demands on his time, but this doesn’t seem too likely. It’s also possible that he’s seeking a greater quantity of his medication for some purpose, such as abusing it or using it for self-harm or to end his life. But he also could just be trying to put off his next therapy session to a later date because of his difficulty talking about vulnerable topics, something he demonstrates at multiple points in his therapy session. Similarly, when his therapist says she can extend his prescription to three weeks but not a month, because, as she puts it, “I need to do my job,” this could be in reference to the medication or her therapy work. Part of her job is keeping him from having access to too large an amount of medication at once, while another part is having therapy sessions with him (that are frequent enough to be useful). It’s hard to tell which of the two she was referring to, or whether it could be something else entirely. So I don’t think there’s one clearly correct interpretation here. But I do think we should be attentive to the possibility that he might be medication-seeking, possibly with the aim of using the medication for self-harm.
Human beings’ amazing capacity for self-blame
Even if you have experienced trauma or have been close to someone who has, unless you’ve spent time with a sizable sample of trauma survivors, it’s hard to understand just how readily people blame themselves for traumatic experiences. I had had personal experience with this as a survivor of intimate partner violence before I ever did any training in trauma therapy, but I was still totally floored when I observed firsthand just how often this happens and how unjustifiable every single instance of self-blame I encountered in clients turned out to be.
This is actually a big area for me as a researcher so I’m going to try not to go off on a massive tangent, but I think this is important. When we experience trauma, one of the most frequent responses people have is to blame themselves. I used to describe this to clients as a “deal with the devil.” Blaming ourselves allows us to feel like we have control over whether such things will happen to us (and/or those we care about) in the future. If we tell ourselves, “the trauma only happened to me because I did something bad, or something wrong,” then we can also tell ourselves, “but I’ll never do the bad or wrong thing again so from now on I’ll be safe.”
It’s very tempting to make this bargain, but it is an extremely bad deal. Self-blame is one of the biggest reasons some people get stuck in their acute trauma response instead of completing the healing process, resulting in PTSD. That feeling of control isn’t worth that. But human beings are so tempted to make this trade. When I was doing trauma therapy as a trainee, I saw example after example of folks who did seriously remarkable amounts of mental gymnastics in order to justify blaming themselves for their trauma.  I’m going to talk briefly now about a client I had many years ago, without giving any details that could be remotely identifying. This person had witnessed the death of a close friend when they were in combat together. I did prolonged exposure therapy with this person, meaning he had to tell me the story of his friend’s death again and again and again. When we do this type of work, it usually seems at first like the client is telling the exact same story again and again without any real change. But little changes crop up gradually and accumulate and after a while, you find the story has made big shifts. And occasionally, a big change happens.
This client started out telling his story in a way that looked for every possible reason his friend’s death could have been his fault. And wow, was he ever grasping at straws. It was almost as if he had said something as nonsensical as “I had oatmeal for breakfast that day and maybe that’s why my friend died.” Every miniscule decision he had made that day could, in his eyes, potentially have caused his friend’s death in some mysterious and imperceptible way. It would have been absurd had it not been so sad. But thankfully, as we continued the exposure work, his story gradually changed and these justifications for self-blame started to fall away a little at a time.
Then, one day, a crucial detail was added to the story that blew me away. After weeks of telling the story in the usual way, my client mentioned for the first time that just before his friend was hit, he had called out a warning to him, which the friend had ignored. He’d mentioned countless ways he might be to blame--none of them remotely justified--but had never told me about the one very clear way in which he had tried to prevent his friend’s death. When I pointed this out, my client was shocked that he had never mentioned that detail before. We spent a lot of time unpacking what all of this meant. It was the single biggest turning point in his therapy. So, yeah. People have an amazing capacity for figuring out even the slimmest of pretexts for self-blame, and it’s abundantly clear that Jae Won is exercising that capacity big time. I’m pretty certain we’ll find out that he has been blaming himself a lot for what happened while having no real justification for doing so.
(Side note: I have tons more thoughts about trauma, self-blame, victim-blaming more generally, and other related psychological constructs--these are all longstanding research interests of mine--but I’m going to stop here because this thing is already ridiculously long. But if anyone reading this ever wants to discuss any of this further, please feel free to hit me up! I love talking about these things.)
Interpreting show production choices psychologically
Let’s review where we find Jae Won toward the beginning of the show. I’ve talked about how Jae Won had a lot of psychological difficulties before the story started. His family of origin situation was damaging even before he lost his brother, and then he had to contend with trauma and complicated grief. After that, he went through a breakup (possibly due to his partner cheating on him), completed his military service, and then had to make the transition back to civilian life, which isn’t easy under the best of circumstances.
And then he meets Ji Hyun, and his feelings for him unsettle the precarious set of strategies that he’s been using to get by. Ji Hyun makes Jae Won feel tempted to let his guard down and be himself. He places a degree of trust in Jae Won that challenges his cynicism and makes him feel tempted to trust Ji Hyun in return--to trust him to an extent that would normally be out of the question for him. Ji Hyun shakes things up, and while this is mostly a very positive thing--there are a lot of things in Jae Won’s life that urgently need to change--it’s also rather destabilizing in the short term. 
Then the shit starts to hit the fan when Jae Won wakes up after staying out late drinking to hear his father pounding on his door. And the makers of the show start to play around with cinematography, editing, sound design, and other aspects of the show’s production to evoke Jae Won’s inner experience. After his dad pounds on his door, the way the show is shot and edited changes.
This disjointed editing and other distortions of typical filmmaking at this point in episode 5 have reminded some folks on here of a dissociative state, and I can see why. I would agree that it has a dissociative flavor. There are two prominent types of dissociation (which can happen simultaneously):
derealization, a feeling that the world around us isn’t real--it may feel empty, strange, or just plain wrong; and
depersonalization, in which we feel like we’re seeing ourselves from the outside, as if the person we’re observing isn’t us.
It’s tricky to talk about either of these in the context of tv/film because as viewers watching a fictional story unfold in a TV show, we are by definition:
perceiving that the world the characters inhabit doesn’t seem real, because it isn’t
looking at the characters from the outside, because they aren’t us (and they aren’t real)
But there are conventions of film and tv production that give us a sense of realism and of seeing things from characters’ points of view, and when Jae Won is dissociating we see those conventions get suspended or distorted. For example:
Conventional editing creates a flow of time that feels realistic (partly because we learn the “language” of film from a young age and interpret it that way). At important moments in The Eighth Sense, the editing breaks the rules of conventional editing, often messing with the viewers’ sense of time. Contexts change abruptly, as when Jae Won suddenly goes from being at home to being in his car. At other points, dialogue also goes out of sync.
Shot-reverse shot techniques help to approximate seeing things from the characters’ perspectives, situating us in the story so that we don’t feel like we’re observing from a distance. The most notable moment when this rule is broken happens when Jae Won is upset about his camera being damaged. We see him telling someone between sobs that the camera was a gift from his younger brother, but that person (assumably his dad) isn’t shown at all--not even a shoulder or the back of a head.
There’s also a lot of use of shallow depth of field (something the show uses in other ways as well), putting Jae Won in focus while his surroundings become a blur, making the world around him look hazy and unreal.
The sequence where Ji Hyun and Jae Won kiss in the ocean puts their dialogue way out of sync. On my first viewing, this just seemed like an interesting choice, one that gave the scene a sort of dreamlike quality. I’ve seen this strategy used before, as well, without any reference to mental illness, usually in art films. The first example that came to mind for me was from a Godard movie. It would be a valid option regardless of mental health-related content in a show. But after what immediately follows, I think that scene is portraying a trauma memory. Sometimes benign events that happened just before something traumatic become encoded with trauma memories rather than our usual type. (To put it briefly, trauma memories are encoded and stored in a different part of the brain from our everyday memories, and this is why they “behave” differently and have a different sensory quality from typical memories. Trauma recovery often involves some degree of re-encoding these memories in a more normal manner.)
Basically, the show sometimes puts the viewer into an approximation of a derealized and depersonalized state, particularly relative to what we’re used to as TV watchers. At other points, it shows characters’ experiences as if they were traumatic memories.
Are the creators of The Eighth Sense going to pull a “who shot JR?” move?
All this being said, I think that Jae Won’s dissociative moments, while very concerning and doubtless extremely distressing for him, do not point toward any sort of severe dissociative disorder like Dissociative Identity Disorder, nor do they make me concerned that his reality-testing (his ability to effectively distinguish what is and isn’t real) is impaired. I also don’t see any signs of cognitive impairment that would create a similar degree of confusion about reality. As a result, I don’t think the show’s use of signs of dissociation suggests that entire sections of the story will later be shown not to have happened.
Here’s the thing about dissociation. On paper, it sounds like an extreme symptom that approaches the kind of severe mental illness that includes symptoms like hallucinations and delusions. But the vast majority of the time, it’s very different from psychosis. And it’s also, in my opinion, more of a spectrum than we care to acknowledge most of the time. When we look at it that way, we can see that in a sense, Jae Won is at least a tiny bit dissociated a whole lot of the time. But frankly, so am I. It’s not uncommon for trauma survivors. It’s very different from something that would result in impaired reality-testing.
It’s possible that the show will end up revealing that Jae Won’s mental illness has resulted in him imagining entire segments of the show. These types of symptoms are often portrayed in media, for a couple of reasons: 1) people just find psychosis fascinating, and 2) these types of symptoms are very handy for creating plot twists and other interesting narrative devices. It’s not hard to think of examples of this. Fight Club, Black Swan, Shutter Island...the list goes on and on. But these portrayals are almost always inaccurate and exploitative. So far, the folks who make The Eighth Sense have shown a great deal of nuanced awareness of and sensitivity toward mental health matters, so I don’t think they would use this kind of cheap plot device. But they might. If so, I’ll find that pretty disappointing.
There is one thing the showrunners are doing that is somewhat sneaky in a way that’s could look analogous to that. Others have pointed out that Jae Won and his therapist are wearing the same clothes in every therapy scene, suggesting that we’re seeing the same therapy session interspersed with the other events of the series. In other words, the therapy session operates on a very different timeline from the rest of the story. We don’t know where to situate it relative to the rest of the plot. But I don’t see that as tied to the show’s portrayal of Jae Won’s mental health, nor does it seem exploitative or out of left field.
To sum up:
So far, The Eighth Sense has been remarkably accurate regarding psychological matters and has portrayed therapy and the use of psychotropic medication in a mostly positive and realistic light. I get the feeling the writers/directors/etc. have had some experience receiving mental health treatment. I really hope they maintain this level of quality throughout the remainder of the series.
I don’t think Jae Won’s PTSD (or his depression/anxiety) are sufficient for him to experience psychosis. I don’t expect entire segments of the show will be revealed to be an elaborate lie or hallucination, and if they are, I would consider that to be an example of poor writing and an unrealistic and potentially harmful representation of mental illness.
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