#false dichotomy

[cha-melodius]

False Dichotomy

[COMPLETE]

One of the world’s largest retailers is opening a store on his street. A bookstore. He looks down at the article in his hand again and catches sight of a phrase: “We hope that people will see this as more than a bookstore, and hope to foster a sense of community.” As if Henry Fox-Mountchristen has any concept of what community means. Alex very narrowly does not break something.

(When global mega-retailer Mountchristen opens a new location—led by the infuriatingly attractive and insufferable Henry Fox-Mountchristen—near his LGBTQ-focused bookshop in Soho, Alex's comfortable life is turned upsided down. Luckily, he has one of his best friends to turn to: a guy he met online and knows only as H. Meanwhile, Henry is battling against his family to make a positive difference in the world and falling further in love with a man he's never met. But... what if they changed that?

Yes, it's a You've Got Mail AU.

60k, E. Completely written, updating Tuesdays and Fridays.)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #firstprince #rwrb fic #firstprince fic #rwrb fanfic #firstprince fanfic #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #my fic #false dichotomy

[whatbigotspost]

God I hate this kind of comment on my posts that are specificity pro aging and/or talking about having appropriate friendships with people who are much older or younger than yourself.

Like, I’m not calling anyone out here or anything it’s just really sad when someone says this kind of thing because they’ve so massively missed the point. And when you miss a point like this, it’s not doing yourself any favors.

We can all agree that very few binaries exist in life, yes? Well kiddies, I wish that someone had told me much sooner that “friends own age = good. friends older = bad.” is no exception. It’s nonsense. There are terrible people your own age who will make terrible friends. And having APPROPRIATE friendships with someone 10, 20, 50 years older than yourself can enrich your life enormously.

Sure friendships with someone who is much your elder won’t look the same as the friendships you share w/ a bestie you met in kindergarten but they can and do exist in healthy ways. I’m glad I eventually got this. Someone 25 years older than me shared personal stories with me that changed my life and encouraged me to really interrogate about if parenting was for me. Someone 30 years older than me gave me great advice I use at work literally every day. I help a friend over 80 with stuff around her house whenever I can because she used to give me rides to all kinds of activities and stuff as a kid when my parents couldn’t. In each of those cases, my life and their lives are better off because we are friends.

Damn am I ever proud and encouraged that kids these days are wary of inappropriate age gaps. They should be. Boundaries between adults and adolescents are extremely EXTREMELY important. Aaaaaaaaand it’s not only possible but HELPFUL to build friendships with people who are older/younger than you. Friendships take different forms and you’ll miss out on a ton of support and wisdom and connection if you walk around thinking every 40 year old is always inherently a threat to you.

#pro aging #false dichotomy #life is nuanced

[yepthatsacowalright]

In a platonic and intellectual way I am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure right now. The Danels (Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert, creators of Everything Everywhere All At Once) just did a talk at SXSW. It's called 'How We Pulled Off Everything Everywhere All at Once.' Except as soon as they got on stage, they announced that they've already given that talk several times elsewhere, showed QR codes to watch those on YouTube if you're interested, and then pivoted to talking about so much real shit about humanity, inequity, climate change, the past, the future, now, storytelling, art, paradoxes, self-care, religion, addiction, AI, etc. instead that I still feel my brain vibrating about it. Some highlights (that I probably transcribed poorly but tried my best): "The earliest cultures, a lot of them, all around the world, believed in animism. And for those who don't know, [animism] is this belief, this story that they told themselves, that every living creature, rock, tree, river, had a soul, had a life. And a lot of modern people...kinda laugh at that, and think it's a little silly. But regardless of what you believe, that story was actually really beautiful, because it kept things in balance, right? There was this really beautiful relationship with the world around them. When we invented agriculture, we couldn't just force an oxen to drag a plow, because that oxen had a soul. And so we changed the story of the oxen and said, 'Oh, actually we're not all beautiful, soulful things. We're gonna lower the value of this one thing.' And you see this happening slowly throughout history, every new achievement. We've done it to the trees. The trees are incredible, beautiful things that provide food, water, shelter, cooling the Earth, giving us the oxygen we breathe, and we've reduced their story to $70 of lumber at Home Depot. And, like I said, some of this is necessary. Even the oldest cultures who believed in animism would kill, would chop down trees, but there was a narrative where there was grieving, and there was respect, and there was gratitude, and that has been lost. And we have slowly created an entire world where everything is disposable. Our shoes, our cars, our phones...we're all culpable, we're all responsible for this. But the worst part is we've done it to the people. And these devaluing stories, they become normalized and compounded through generational amnesia. And we slowly move the threshold of who is valuable and who isn't.

For instance, modern capitalism and the capitalist workforce only works if we are able to compel people to work, because we can't force them to work. And so we had to change the story we told ourselves, and say that your value is your job. You are only worth what you can do. And we are no longer beings with an inherent worth.

And this is why it is so hard to find fulfillment in this current system. The system works best when you're not fulfilled.

Which brings me back to AI.

There's gonna be a lot of people who are saying how amazing AI is, and it is. It's magic. It's probably going to solve cancers, probably gonna give us a lot of climate solutions. This is a powerful thing. But I'm really terrified of this new story we're gonna have to tell ourself in order to accept this new convenience, this new progress. ...to imagine what [AI] will do within this current system, within this current incentive structure...this is the same system that brought us climate change, income inequality, and the general lack of gratitude and understanding of our worth and the worth of those around us. And so one of the things I'm realizing we all have to be doing...is we have to really rewrite the system story, and center what is truly valuable." "We are addicted to a system. We know how to solve our problems, we understand what a lot of the solutions are, we just don't know how to actually have the will to do it. And so if you look at us, collectively, we are on step one. We are finally, after decades, admitting that there is a problem, specifically climate change amongst other things. And now we need to be actively thinking about, okay, what kind of stories are we gonna be telling to bring us into that second step?" HIGHLY RECOMMEND watching the entire 1-hour talk. I promise it does not feel like an hour, and it is 8000% worth your time:

#the 'oh you're giving us a Standing Ovation. i thought you were leaving! thank you' at the end <3 #at a certain point i had to start pausing to transcribe #because there was a quote here and there i wanted to grab for myself #and then i let it play like #'...oh' #'oh wait i'm just gonna... #'...i'm just gonna need to keep pausing and typing ALL of this i think.' #'like maybe the entire rest of the talk.' #and then i felt the walls of hyperfocus close in #came out the other end in the usual NEED TO PEE/HUNGRY/TIRED/I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ALIVE FOR THE PAST HOUR fashion #WORTH IT #storytelling #writing #humanity #ADHD #animism #ikigai #community #addiction #false dichotomy #AI #capitalism #SXSW #daniel kwan #daniel scheinert #everything everywhere all at once #eeaao

[grammarpedant]

re: my previous queued post, I do sometimes wonder if a certain genre of takes about Preservation or the people from it fail to understand the difference between privilege-that-not-everyone-has-but-everyone-should-have and privilege-that-no-one-should-have. to me, the difference is impossibly stark. these are just people who don't have to worry about safety or money or shitty bosses, they're not themselves shitty bosses or slave owners. the world is not *actually* divided into people who are owned and people who own them, nor cleanly into victims and oppressors. the people of Preservation, even the characters we've encountered who have material objections to Murderbot's presence among them, mostly just want to do well by other people.

there's just fundamentally a gulf of difference between the philosophies of Preservation and even the problems that its philosophy poses in practice (understanding and accepting constructs as people and citizens you don't know and aren't prepared for) versus the CR's philosophies, which are fundamentally about hoping to be the one who owns and not the one who's owned. when you live in that framework, that perspective of the world, kindness becomes a weakness, not a strength.

#verso talks #murderbot diaries #preservation #meta #false dichotomy #privilege

[furbearingbrick]

that goddamn “have you ever noticed how the entirety of the online transmasc community is white?” post just crossed my dash again and i

#brick speaks #undescribed images #im tired #false dichotomy #dog whistles weasel words and the rest of the menagerie #on one hand yes it's annoying that thin white twinks are the face of the community #on the other hand y'all seem to be incapable of pointing this out #without tossing black transmascs and non-transmasc TME trans people under the bus #EVERY. SINGLE. GODDAMN. TIME.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Dear MBTI notes, you’re a gem for still being into handwriting in this tech-based world. I found myself a bird with the same feather. I am reflecting on your questions so I can’t answer that yet but waiting for you; me & my ESTP bf talked more abt the initial question.

During that time, we went to a friend’s wedding, which made me sulk later. My bf soothed me, (as I think he felt guilty), he asked me why I find marriage personally important. I told him that a status ensures lifelong commitment & gives me inner peace because I want a sign to feel secure. I thought he would dismiss me like he would when he was younger, but he didn’t. He kissed & apologized, saying he never thought of marriage this way before so he suggested a few days to collect ideas, then would give me his solid opinion.

He proposed having children with me If I wanted to (I’m happy he asked me this bc actually he doesn’t really enjoy children despite being good with them). After a day he had his (not solid yet) opinions & asked me to ask you whether his thoughts also stemmed from a troublesome perspective (because I told him I asked someone with knowledge on marriages). The points are:

- Marriage provides rigidity in status & makes a situation static imagery. By standing in one place for a long time relationships aren’t able to get better & achieve more obstacles together in life. People need to change so that they can become better & being held back by a paper makes people problematic beings.

- Marriage sure is a provision for stability but on the flip side aversion to the new. If each person in a relationship isn’t ready to adapt, adjust & change the relationship is doomed to perish. Life is impermanent itself so why fear the forever changing, which is the people?

Questions he asked:

He mentioned he struggles at finding meaning in things that are purpose-implied (Ni inferior?). He asked how marriage that wouldn't imply the potential of a change of status that makes relationships gradually dull & worse. He asked whether marriage stops both people from flourishing in life. This was partly a trigger of his parents’ divorce as I knew from him that they “got bored” of each other when he was at high school.

Furthermore, he has a tendency to either never look for implications or read between the lines in a very useless manner until he gets paranoid about it (so I often stop him whenever he slips into that side). He asked what will change If he marries, is there any new expectations he should gradually learn to change.

That’s all he asked for now. Now that I know (not sure If I knew it all bc I haven’t asked him more yet bc we’re both not clear enough on what’s really our resolute opinions that have considered every serious reflective question) parts of his mind, we’re trying to both think about this for both our sake. Hope I can hear from you soon, I’ll write back when I’ve packaged all my answers to your reflection questions. Sincerely yours.

-----------------------

Since you didn't number your messages, I'm not sure whether I've included them all or in the right order. The previous questions for reflection were purely for your personal clarification. There is no need to send me a response to them.

With regard to personality type, ISTJs and ESTPs are called complementary opposites. Since the order of their cognitive processes are the same, they tend to exhibit similar-looking problems in type development, though coming from opposite directions.

Due to inferior Ne, narrow-mindedness is one core flaw of the ISTJ personality. And if auxiliary Te remains poorly developed, they are unable to accept and work with the facts of the real world, especially new facts. If a particular ISTJ is also prone to Fi loop, they will (stubbornly) remain stuck in one narrow perspective, despite there being much better perspectives available.

Due to inferior Ni, oversimplistic thinking is one core flaw of the ESTP personality. And if auxiliary Ti remains poorly developed, they are unable to detect logical fallacies in their own thinking. If a particular ESTP is also prone to Fe loop, they will attempt to manipulate or force agreement from others in an effort to avoid confronting the flaws in their own belief system.

When you bring the flaws of both personality types together, it's easy to get stuck, because one person can't see more than one perspective and the other only sees the most superficial perspective.

For example, his parents have affected his views on marriage, thus, his sample size is 1? Can you draw a scientifically sound and valid conclusion about marriage from only one example? Also, does he believe he has no control at all over himself? Is it reasonable for him to believe that he will follow exactly the same path as his parents, like you are both programmed robots? These kinds of problematic reasoning patterns indicate a lack of Ti development.

As a couple, if these type development issues are an obstacle and even causing you to clash, then you ought to develop better use of your functions, refer to the Type Development Guide.

The only thing I have left to say about your situation is that the both of you seem to be falling victim to illogical thinking, specifically, the false dilemma fallacy. The false dilemma fallacy means that people, intentionally or unintentionally, grossly oversimplify a situation into only two options, usually two opposing options.

In psychology, logical fallacies create cognitive distortions in your reasoning process. Your perception becomes less accurate and your judgment more flawed, which leads you to make poor decisions and then feel bad about yourself or your circumstances.

The false dilemma fallacy creates a false dichotomy in your mind that easily traps you in unhealthy and extreme thinking patterns such as black-and-white, all-or-nothing, and either/or thinking. "Stability vs change" is a common example of a false dichotomy. (Have you ever heard of "increments", which is a method of learning and changing that also maintains stability?)

The false dilemma fallacy commits two serious errors in logic:

It assumes that the two options presented are exhaustive or complete, meaning there are no other viable possibilities, nothing in between, or no gray areas to consider. This is a common rhetorical trick speakers use to pressure the listener into submission. By purposely leaving out other alternatives, the speaker tries to force the listener into choosing between two extreme positions that do not properly represent the reality of the situation and/or the listener's actual position.

It assumes that the two options presented are mutually exclusive, meaning they shouldn't/can't exist at the same time. Often, the speaker presents their own position as true/acceptable/desirable in such a way as to automatically render the opposite position as false/unacceptable/undesirable, so the listener receives a biased perspective or an unfair comparison. By purposely leaving out the cons of the speaker's own position and the pros of the opposite position, the listener is misled into siding with the speaker.

In order to escape a false dilemma, you must make a conscious effort to counter the above errors in logic:

Recognize that there are more than two options available and take time to discover what they are. Recognize that the two options might merely represent two extreme ends of a spectrum, so consider what lies in between the two poles. Recognize that the reality of the situation is far more complex than presented and take time to consider gray areas and exceptions to the rule.

Recognize that the reality of the situation isn't black-and-white, all-or-nothing, or either/or, so take time to examine how the two positions could potentially overlap, coexist, complement each other, or synthesize into a greater and truer whole.

Why is it that some couples get married and yet still change and grow better together? Why is it that some unmarried couples remain steadfastly together until death? Obviously, stability and change are not mutually exclusive. Stability (e.g. commitment) is needed to combat the deleterious effects of constant flux (e.g. lack of meaning) AND change (e.g. novelty) is needed to combat the deleterious effects of stability (e.g. stagnation). The answer isn't to force a choice between two opposites but rather to figure out their proper relationship to each other.

The real world is not either/or. The real world has many different kinds of couples with many different kinds of arrangements. Whether or not marriage will change anything or change the expectations is not for me to tell you, rather, it is up to the both of you to bring everything out into the open and negotiate the changes and expectations together. But until you can get past the false dichotomy, it will be difficult for the two of you to find middle ground.

#istj #estp #marriage #false dilemma #false dichotomy #logical fallacies #critical thinking #ask

[agentrouka-blog]

It is interesting that Maqoro refered the Drowned God as the demon, which begs a question what kinda Eldrich abomonation is gonna come out of the sea when Euron does his bloodsacrfice?

If he's anything like Dany, he'll have a bunch of vicious baby krakens in a bucket still waiting to grow up. "Feed us, father! The blood of innocents, please!"

But Euron isn’t sacrificing to the Drowned God. He is practicing blood magic, which is universal in its appeal. 

Watch me derail my response to a different subject: the fake duality of the gods, and of ice and fire. (Long post.)

GRRM likes to remind us occasionally that the gods aren’t solid and separate.

In the sept they sing for the Mother's mercy but on the walls it's the Warrior they pray to, and all in silence. She remembered how Septa Mordane used to tell them that the Warrior and the Mother were only two faces of the same great god. But if there is only one, whose prayers will be heard? (ACOK, Sansa V)

Catelyn calls them “the seven faces of god”. God, singular.

“One god with seven aspects” Septon Meribald calls it.

"Seven? No. He has faces beyond count, little one, as many faces as there are stars in the sky. In Braavos, men worship as they will . . . but at the end of every road stands Him of Many Faces, waiting. (AFFC, Arya I)

One god: death. 

The struggle is not between the god of death and the god of life, but how humans deal with loss and grief, or with the desire for power, in a world where the door between life and death is more permeable than it should be.

The other whores said that the Sailor's Wife visited the Isle of the Gods on the days when her flower was in bloom, and knew all the gods who lived there, even the ones that Braavos had forgotten. They said she went to pray for her first husband, her true husband, who had been lost at sea when she was a girl no older than Lanna. "She thinks that if she finds the right god, maybe he will send the winds and blow her old love back to her," said one-eyed Yna, who had known her longest, "but I pray it never happens. Her love is dead, I could taste that in her blood. If he ever should come back to her, it will be a corpse." (AFFC, Cat of the Canals) 

Shades of Dany and Drogo “When will he be as he was?” Shades of blood magic. Only death can pay for life. 

That’s a door that should never be opened. But it is. Again and again it is.

But death never buys life. It only ever buys horror. Horror and power.

I have very few concrete ideas about what exactly Euron’s kind of magic is meant to summon. But true to the above, GRRM makes sure we know that the Drowned God and R’hllor are essentially mirrors. Or, if you will, the exact same thing.

Their god was Red R’hllor, and a jealous god he was. Her own god, the Drowned God of the Iron Isles, was a demon to their eyes, and if she did not embrace this Lord of Light, she would be damned and doomed. They would as gladly burn me as those logs and broken branches. (ADWD, The King’s Prize)

v.

“Your Drowned God is a demon,” the black priest Moqorro said afterward. “He is no more than a thrall of the Other, the dark god whose name must not be spoken.”  (ADWD, Victarion I)

Demons hungry for sacrifice, both. 

The Drowned God also mirrors the special duality of R’hllor.

In their theology, the Drowned God is opposed by the Storm God, a malignant deity who dwells in the sky and hates men and all their works. He sends cruel winds, lashing rains, and the thunder and lightning that bespeak his endless wroth. (The World of Ice and Fire - The Iron Islands)

v.

On one side is R'hllor, the Lord of Light, the Heart of Fire, the God of Flame and Shadow. Against him stands the Great Other whose name may not be spoken, the Lord of Darkness, the Soul of Ice, the God of Night and Terror. Ours is not a choice between Baratheon and Lannister, between Greyjoy and Stark. It is death we choose, or life. Darkness, or light." (ASOS, Davos III)

Both work the same way. They are two faces of the same hungry abyss.

Significantly, Dany didn’t sacrifice her blood magic victims to any particular god in order to gain the dragons. She did not chant, she did not call on any deity. The presence of the eggs alone, coupled with her intentions, seems to have been enough.  

It is blood magic, not fire magic. Or water magic. Or ice magic. Blood, always blood.

In that, Dany is very similar to Euron. Neither care for the gods in particular, but they understand the mechanics of trading life for death.

“All gods are lies, but yours is laughable.” (...)

"The Crow's Eye has fed your Drowned God well, and he has grown fat with sacrifice. Words are wind, but blood is power. We have given thousands to the sea, and he has given us victories!" (TWOW, The Forsaken)

Both call themselves the storm(born) and liken themselves to gods or godliness.

And how did Dany feel when she stood, godlike, atop the pyramid? Lonely. 

Are the gods lonely, though?

He saw his brother on the Iron Throne again, but Euron was no longer human. He seemed more squid than man, a monster fathered by a kraken of the deep, his face a mass of writhing tentacles. Beside him stood a shadow in woman's form, long and tall and terrible, her hands alive with pale white fire. Dwarves capered for their amusement, male and female, naked and misshapen, locked in carnal embrace, biting and tearing at each other as Euron and his mate laughed and laughed and laughed... (TWOW The Forsaken)

What is this, but a mockery of the entire concept of duelling gods? They aren’t at war, they are reigning together, watching the carnage commited in their name with inhuman hilarity.

They are in on it together. They are the same. 

Given the theme of a fake duality, perhaps, on a deeper level, ice and fire are also the same. Two faces of the same coin. Two masks of the same inhumane hungry energy.

Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice.

Both are death. Eternal winter, eternal summer. All just means the end of the world. Different roads lead to the same castle. 

@fedonciadale gave me a bit of a brain tweak with this line in a chat:

“I just think that the Ice magic that the CotF woke enabled the Fire magic. So, first we have Ice magic that is warped Cotf magic and the scales are tipped and Fire magic is made possible.“ (...)  And I think "awakening the Fire magic" at Summerhall - which is different than just continuing to have dragons - was the action that awoke the Others

There is clearly a connection and a reciprocal relationship between the various kinds of magic in the ASOIAF world. It might just not be as fully dualistic as this, but again different faces on one coin. 

When the door is open, the door is open for all. Just in changeable forms.

The dragons don’t like the cold, the Others shatter from obsidian. But if they are both only products of blood magic, they are only tools at the disposition of those who summoned them, and their disparate interests. Like the gods, they only seem mutually opposed, while they spring from the same source. 

That might be the reason that both Others and dragons and Melisandre’s magic and glass candles and Euron can happen at the same time, all with disconnected motivations. They all amplify each other to an extent. 

It’s possible and even likely that something led to the current escalation of magical destruction, but I can’t properly guess what. 

Jaqen emphasizes a transactional aspect between life and death:

"The Red God has his due, sweet girl, and only death may pay for life. This girl took three that were his. This girl must give three in their places. Speak the names, and a man will do the rest." (ACOK, Arya VII)

He doesn’t say what will happen if that exchange is disturbed. Maybe nothing. Maybe the Curse of Garin. Maybe the Doom of Valyria. 

Whatever originally opened the doorway between life and death that enabled these exchanges of blood and life for power, is the true problem.

Whatever prompted it then and now, in the North, a full-on apocalypse is already slowly underway. The Others bring the cold, they enslave the dead, all life flees before them, or joins them in death. Clearly, something powerful went into creating them. This dark magic attracted more dark magic. Stannis and his blood sacrificing priestess cannot hope to defeat the Others, perhaps they are even helping make it worse. 

In the South, something similar may begin gather, bought with blood magic. Perhaps Euron is simply waiting for someone with powerful enough blood to come along and be of use to him. 

The different kinds of magic cannot defeat each other. 

In order to end all of it, the door needs to be closed.

#euron greyjoy #anti daenerys targaryen #blood magic #fire threat #ice threat #religion in asoiaf #drowned god #r'hllor #false dichotomy

[imkeepinit]

#logical fallacies #false dichotomy #humor

[sandycheekscockvore]

i think people on here hate centrists/anyone outside of their black and white worldview just cuz they dont know how to argue with them

like when you only believe in the "good guys" and the "bad guys" and youre so narrow-minded you cant imagine anything outside of it so you just call them fence-sitting cucks or "siding" with your "bad guys"

the only way some of you can deal with the "unknown" is by showing your ass to everyone

#centrism #anti extremism #false dichotomy #stupid #sry i just woke up and was thinking about this

[cha-melodius]

I'm getting quite close to the end of this fic, so it's harder and harder to find snippets to share that aren't too spoilery. In fact, this might be my last one of these for this fic??? We'll see. Thanks to @kiwiana-writes, @hgejfmw-hgejhsf, @tintagel-or-cockleshells, @orchidscript, @three-drink-amy, @indestructibleheart, @ninzied, and @iboatedhere for the tags!

“This place isn’t at all like I was expecting,” Alex tells him as Henry pours them both a glass. He’s leaning against the edge of the counter as something sizzles in a pan on the hob nearby, his fitted jumper stretched tight across his muscular chest where his arms are folded over his front. Henry has a brief, wild fantasy of pressing into his space, lifting him up so that he’s sitting on the counter and stepping in between his knees. Henry’s spent more time kissing people in this kitchen than cooking in it. What he wouldn’t give to continue that trend. He mentally shakes it off, raising an eyebrow. “No?”

Tagging  @clottedcreamfudge, @rmd-writes, @cricketnationrise, @indomitable-love, @dumbpeachjuice, @welcometololaland, @myheartalivewrites, @leaves-of-laurelin, @anchoredarchangel, @nicijones, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @justabigoldnerd, @firenati0n, @14carrotghoul, @lizzie-bennetdarcy, @ships-to-sail, @sherryvalli, @inexplicablymine, and anyone else who wants to jump on an open tag.

#seven sentence sunday #my wips #false dichotomy #rwrb

[whatbigotspost]

It can be helpful to understand some things we think are normal are not normal, particularly when we’re unpacking toxic stuff from childhood.

But something being “normal” doesn’t make it inherently good. Lots of normalized parts of life are fucked up.

Just don’t confuse “common” with moral or acceptable.

#abuse #healthy relationships #self healing #unsolicited advice #life is nuanced #false dichotomy

[odettecarotte]

A fourth dimension of work with borderline clients that I have found valuable is asking the patient's help in resolving the either/or dilemmas into which the therapist is typically put. This technique, by which one in effect gets the patient to be one's supervisor, relates to the all-or-nothing way in which borderline people construe things. They tend to evoke in a therapist the sense that there are two mutually exclusive options for responding to a given situation, and both would be wrong for different reasons. Usually there is a test involved, in which if the therapist acts one way, he or she will fail according to one polarity of the patient's conflict, and if the other alternative is chosen, there will be an equal failure of the opposite sort.

Nancy McWilliams, Psychoanalytic Diagnosis, 2nd edition

I find that the either/or dilemma shows up frequently with borderline people, and also with anyone re-experiencing some traumatic pattern. This can be called an enactment -- where my trauma intersects with yours so neatly.

So that's basically a good rule for life: anytime you find yourself trapped with two TERRIBLE OPTIONS, you might be in an enactment, and if you step back from the intense pressure and emotions, you might see some alternatives.

#nancy mcwilliams #psychoanalytic diagnosis #borderline #enactment #false dichotomy

[omnitheist27]

@the-ravenclaw-werewolf

How do you think The 40 would react to this clip from the King of the Hill episode?

For context: Hank Hill and his friends believe that Khan's ethnicity is either Chinese or Japanese, whereas Khan is Laotian.

It should be noted that Asian cultures and races are very diverse if I may add, even Chinese and Japanese. For fairness on Hank and his friends' part (especially at the time of the episode's publication), the general census was "Asian/Other".

#youtube #the_40 #miscellaneous questions #false dichotomy

[thisiskatsblog]

How can you be pro Palestine and anything other then anti Harry? Hes made it clear what his stance is

You mean he has Jewish friends and has shown interest in Judaism? I don't equate that to being pro Israel in the current situation.

#1234antisoutthedoor #false dichotomy

[itspileofgoodthings]

love is about the longing and the safety.

#longing FOR the safety #there are not just two categories—boring but safe. Interesting but dangerous #false dichotomy #the desire is intense and alive because it’s the desire for home #that’s what it is. what it should be. What it IS #you know who embodies this beautifully? Kash and Maya #there is such longing and it’s for the safety of each other

[anarchistettin]

police officers in the US make up less than 2% of the population, and are known to be responsible* for over 10% of the homicides - that is, not counting deaths by bleeding out in the hospital later, or literally any little detail that could be said to make the officer 'innocent'. Police steal more money and property via civil forfeiture than all robbery and burglary combined. At least half of them are domestic abusers.

these are available data! your senators know all about it, your mayor your governors & president aren't ignorant of this reality, yet they will continually demand more and more and more funding for the police. They'll also be working hard to criminalize more of what you do each day.

It's hardly the only glaring evil formally carried out by the state, at every level. Why should I ever forgive anyone who asks me for their vote? Why shouldn't I assume you just promised to kill my loved ones in front of me and torture me to death?

I don't forgive it anymore. I'm in awe that anyone still tries it after 2015. What's wrong with you? and I mean - repubs know better than to ask me for support. what's up with liberals? why are you this evil? I'm still pretty surprised by it, after all these years: the unrepentant straight-faced vileness of the american liberal. It just isn't possible that they actually see themselves as being substantively different from the magas. They model all the same behaviors and make all the same choices. They whine and self-aggrandize with every ounce as much unreasonable passion.

what gives??

how can anyone who calls themself "liberal" in the USA stand to look in the mirror? or is it a malice thing and you stare into the mirror laughing wickedly? I'd like that better if that were the case, no shit

*known to be. it's probably more than that, probably a lot more

#ramble #rant #police #us politics #false duality #false dichotomy #american heritage