#fake betsys

[psychoffman]

Betsy Russell on the set of SAW 3D (2010)

#hellooooOOOOoo #i'm back #i missed you all #saw #saw 7 #saw the final chapter #saw franchise #betsy russell #jill tuck #tw fake gore #tw blood #reverse bear trap

[behindthescreamz]

excerpts from the “saw v” feature in fangoria magazine issue #277 (oct 2008)

#saw v #horror #behind the scenes #fangoria #saw #saw movies #saw franchise #saw films #jigsaw #horror movies #2000s horror #julie benz #brit stevenson #scott patterson #peter strahm #betsy russell #jill tuck #jigsaw apprentices #special effects makeup #cw: fake blood #tw blood #fake blood #blood #dexter #buffy the vampire slayer #women in horror

[bloodfiresandabram]

hello, i’m ari, i read the trilogy a year ago and haven’t been the same since but finally decided that my ongoing hyperfixation of aftg is significant enough to warrant making a side blog for it so now i have this account and of course my first original post on this side blog is a few snippets of the first aftg fic that i finally let myself start writing and have been steadily working on since, aka neil finally goes to therapy

Neil wets his lower lip—feels the cracks caused by the cold and dry winter, thinks about the sweet cherry chapstick that Andrew threw at him the other day and seems to be pleased to know Neil is using whenever he tastes it on Neil’s lips, reminds himself to use it once this session is over—and then he says, “I have spent most of my life waiting to die.”

Bee lets out a long, slow breath. “Okay,” she says gently, head tilting just slightly to the side. She reaches forward and picks up the small notebook resting on the coffee table next to her mug, pulls a pen out of her pocket and clicks it, then rests the notebook against her knee to write something down real quick. Neil watches her curiously as she then reaches for her mug, takes a sip from it, sets it down, and looks back at him. “Tell me about that.”

“I think it’s self explanatory,” Neil says.

“Tell me anyway,” Bee responds. “Tell me like I know nothing.”

-

Bee levels him with an analyzing stare and asks, “What is the threat?”

The question itself isn’t groundbreaking by any means. It’s a series of words seeking a simple reply that Neil feels he should be able to give—but again, when he parts his lips to respond, there is no easy answer sitting on the tip of his tongue. Slowly, he closes his mouth, presses it into a tight-lipped grimace as he thinks, brows pinching together. What is the threat?

The Moriyama’s are a threat, of course. Sure, Neil has a deal with them that, so long as he carries his end, essentially gives Neil freedom to live his life moving forward, but the Moriyama’s could change their minds one day and demand more from him. They could think his smart mouth isn’t worth the trouble and cut him off at the knees. Ichirou seems level-headed and strategic, so Neil can’t see that type of turn-around happening without him being warned or given a chance to find a more satisfying arrangement for them, but it’s certainly a possibility.

His father’s men are a threat, though Neil is aware that anyone left is currently in hiding from the FBI. Neil isn’t a secret anymore, something that terrifies him more than he’d care to admit. The world knows his name, knows his face—they know his past and where he is now. If any of Nathan’s people decide to come after him, they’ll be sure to be caught by the FBI or hunted down by Stuart’s people, but there’s not much Neil can really do to prevent his own demise before they can be stopped. He can fight, sure, but there’s no guarantee that he’ll win.

The more Neil thinks, the more his mind conjures up—someone on a power trip and access to a weapon could end him at any point if he so happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Car accidents occur every day. Health problems, an unfortunate hit during an Exy game, even just stepping off a curb wrong and falling and hitting his head could bring it all to an end.

“Everything,” Neil says eventually.

Bee hums. “Everything is a threat?”

“Yeah. Everything.”

“Okay,” Bee says. “Is Andrew a threat, then?”

Again, the question is not particularly spectacular, but it still makes something in Neil’s stomach twist as he thinks of how to respond. Cautiously, Neil tells her, “Yes.”

Bee looks genuinely surprised by this, blinking once before asking, “How?”

“Andrew…” Neil trails off, something trying to clog up his throat as he struggles to grasp the words in his mind. Andrew is not a threat in the same way that the Moriyama’s are a threat. Neil does not think that Andrew is going to kill him. Neil does not think that Andrew is going to hurt him—at least, not physically. Neil wets his lower lip and tries to explain with, “He asked me to stay. To stop running. I want to stay and to stop running, not just for him, but for all of the foxes, but if… if he tells me to leave, I will. If he changes his mind, I’ll be gone.”

“Ah.” Bee grabs her pen and writes something down, and Neil finds that, right now, he doesn’t want to know whatever it is she just put on the page. “I have another question.”

Neil clenches his jaw, but nods at her to go ahead.

“Do you consider yourself disposable, Neil?”

This time, the answer is easy, already leaving the tip of his tongue before he’s realized his mouth is open. “Yeah,” he tells her. “Of course.”

-

Neil blinks harshly. There are no tears in his eyes—crying is not something that comes easily to him, something that was beaten and burned out of him throughout his childhood. Still, his eyes itch in a way that’s reminiscent of tears and blinking hard enough to make spots dance across his vision is the only way he can make it stop. His stomach is churning and he’s not sure if he’s going to be sick or if he’s going to pass out. Either way, he keeps talking, words choppy and clipped as he says, “I want to tell you things. I want to be permanent.”

Want can be as important as choice. Andrew nods. “You are,” he states. “And you will. Later.”

“Later?” Neil doesn’t necessarily trust later. Waiting for later gives the opportunity for so many things to get fucked up now, and later may never come because of it. But Andrew nods again.

“Later,” he says. “You are permanent. There is time.”

-

i’ll stop there but this is gonna be a one shot (currently at 14k words and only like halfway done lol) and i have no god damn clue when i’m gonna post it but expect it at some point eventually hopefully kind of soon ish

#aftg #all for the game #andreil #neil josten #andrew minyard #betsy dobson #very obsessed with ‘you are permanent. there is time.’ #sometimes i read my own writing and im like wow. i did this? sounds fake but also i did and i’m very proud of it

[duranduratulsa]

Now showing on DuranDuranTulsa's Horror Show...The Evil Dead (1981) on glorious vintage VHS 📼! #movie #movies #horror #evildead #theevildead #SamRaimi #deadites #brucecampbell #ellensandweiss #betsybaker #TheresaTilly #tedraimi #haldelrich #richarddemanicor #vintage #vhs #80s #durandurantulsa #durandurantulsashorrorshow

#movies #movie #horror #the evil dead #evil dead #sam raimi #deadites #fake shemp #bruce campbell #ellen sandweiss #hal delrich #richard demanicor #betsy baker #theresa tilly #ted raimi #vintage #vhs #80s #duran duran tulsa's horror show #duran duran tulsa #Spotify

[thisbibliomaniac]

Maybe I can be interesting enough 🤔

#it will be fake but i can try #wait #maybe im getting this from betsy-tacy

[bumpscosity]

Betsie and her little brother Bam! I need to figure out a different plan for her clothes, I thought this dress would give more of a farm girl look than it does LMAO. I’m debating on wether or not to get her cowboy boots and maybe a bow for one of her horns 👀 I’m gonna find Bam a denim jacket from somewhere :)

#sassy speaks #babw #also in case anyone was wondering what normal dresses look like on the longhorn #this is listed as a shirt dress but it’s pretty much just a dress #the neckline sits a little lower than I’d like but the length of the dress is actually alright! #that’s what I was most worried abt #i wish I liked the dress on her more tbh it’s just not giving what I wanted it to #i still have to skip their tags too although since they’re cows ig ear tags are appropriate #actually now that I’m thinking abt it an earring or two on betsie would look pretty cool #i wouldnt wanna puncture them for real but get some fake ones from like aliexpress or somewhere else cheap? #i dunno I’ll have to look into that #anyways I LOVE both the plushes themselves they’re adorable

[songofadaydream]

you know what? i’ve tried. i’ve really tried. but i just cannot get behind any other tl5y recording besides the movie one with anna kendrick and jeremy jordan. maybe it’s nostalgia bc i was obsessed with it in 8th grade, idk. but I just can’t😩😩

#im sorry but i cannot deal with norbert leo butz’ shiksa goddess #it’s so different and i just cannot get behind it😩😩 #but i’m sure i’d like the recording with betsy wolfe bc i love her sm #does this make me a fake fan #the last five years #jason robert brown #tl5y

[suzukiblu]

Ko-fi thank-you sentences for an anon; a fake cryptid and a real romantic.

“I think I’m gonna try making him a ruby and do that in a trilliant cut,” Superboy says decisively, which isn’t necessarily much progress towards “normal” friend-making but again, Clark doesn’t want to discourage either a hobby or a creative outlet for the kid. Or just literally anything that isn’t about being a superhero, even if the trilliant cut resembling the S-shield and making friends with a vigilante are only sort of “not about being a superhero”. 

Look, the kid’s six months old and was educated by ethically bankrupt scientists and absolutely exhausted grad student interns, absolutely none of whom had either normal childhoods or an interest in instilling any semblance of “normal” in their cloned Superman’s head. Clark’s not going to be picky here, he’s just gonna meet him where he’s at and go from there. 

Superboy has some unfortunate difficulties understanding the difference between celebrity attention versus genuine admiration and things like that, and also an unfortunate tendency towards causing a lot of unnecessary property damage and jumping to conclusions and temper issues, but he tries, and he clearly does think about things. There’s just a lot to figure out in the world, and he’s had to do it in speed-run mode and while being an active superhero. 

Really, Clark thinks the kid’s doing a lot better as a superhero than he would’ve done at his “age”, and he’d actually been that “age”. Superboy is frankly just about the best-case scenario that could’ve come out of a situation like Cadmus and also mercifully only seems to be minimally traumatized by the sorry excuse for a “childhood” he was provided, so . . .

“That sounds nice,” Clark says, smiling at him. “I’m sure you’ll do a good job with it.” 

“I’m gonna do a good job with it if it fucking kills me,” Superboy says, looking determined, which seems like a lot of intensity to put into making a gift for a friend, but again: six months old and educated by ethically bankrupt scientists. Clark is going to stick with the “meeting him where he’s at” approach. 

“Just do your best to start, maybe,” he says wryly, reaching over to pat the kid’s shoulder. Superboy grins at him, his expression turning pleased. 

“I will!” he says. “Wanna see some of the test ones?” 

“Sure,” Clark says, figuring Superboy will just–

Nope, no, Superboy just immediately stuck both hands into his jacket pockets and came up with two big fistfuls of a good dozen high-quality diamonds done in trilliant cuts. Very large diamonds. 

Heavens to Betsy, Clark thinks a little faintly. That is . . . that is so many diamonds for Superboy to just have in his pockets. They weren’t even zipped shut! They weren’t even buttoned! 

Superboy lays his series of diamonds all out in neat little rows on the ledge, because there are enough of them to require multiple rows, and then reaches back into his pockets for a few more, because of course there are more. Clark continues to feel vaguely faint and has absolutely no idea how to point out how much money this is. Even at lab diamond rates, this is so much money. Just–so much. 

At this point in his life Clark has seen entire planets made of diamond, mind, but he still grew up in smalltown Kansas as a farm kid, so there’s something about seeing quite this many virtually flawless ones just laid out on a Metropolis rooftop the same way he would’ve shown off his POG collection to his friends as a kid. Even the damn cuts are just shy of perfect. 

Well, at least Superboy’s enjoying his first hobby, he supposes. But also, Jesus H. Christ.

“They look good, kid,” Clark says, smiling at him encouragingly. No need to take the wind out of his sails, obviously. Though seeing them now, it does occur to him to wonder–“Where did you get the tools?” 

They must be good ones, because honestly he really wasn’t expecting results this good–or even half this good–from a six month-old teenager. Superboy could definitely ruin De Beers’s day with those.

Or their industry, again. 

. . . well, it is De Beers, so . . . 

“Oh, I don’t have any,” Superboy says, shaking his head. “I just use my TTK.” 

Clark . . . pauses, for a moment. 

Clark pauses for a long moment. 

“Tactile telekinesis can cut diamond?” he asks carefully. “This precisely?” 

“Yeah!” Superboy beams proudly at him. “Cool, right?” 

Clark looks very, very closely at the diamonds. The cuts on them are practically atom-sharp. 

Alright then, he thinks to himself even more carefully.

#anonymous #wip: a fake cryptid and a real romantic #long post

[ninyard]

are u an Aaron Stan? If so, would u mind sharing ur Aaron hcs?

I don’t have many but what I do have is:

- Once Aaron actually starts trying in his sessions with Betsy, a few months or maybe a year in, he says something that really shakes Andrew to his core. Maybe something about how it made him feel to walk into that room in Nicky’s house and see what he saw, how for just a moment it felt like he was looking at it happening to himself. They talk about that one right up until the end of the session, but when they get back to the dorms, it doesn’t feel right to split off and go their separate ways and pretend like nothing was said. I like to think at one point, maybe then, Andrew takes him up to the roof and listens to him talk. And Aaron does, because he’s kept it inside for so long, not even talking to Katelyn about it, because it didn’t feel like his business to share. It felt like something he couldn’t say because it did happen to Andrew, not him, and it feels selfish to say there was that tiny part of him that can’t get over seeing it because of how identical they look. Andrew gets it, because the twin thing alongside the drake thing is a touchy subject. Maybe Andrew shares a little bit back, and that’s when they actually talk to each other for the first time about ~stuff~ outside of their sessions with Betsy.

- He also cries when he hears Andrew talk about his past with Drake on the stand at his trial. Andrew doesn’t look at him, not even once, but it absolutely destroys Aaron to hear what he went through. Andrew is outside having a cigarette by the time he’s leaving, and Andrew accepts the comforting hand that squeezes his shoulder, because as much as Aaron feels like he should hug him, that’s the best he can offer.

- I’ve shared it before, but Aaron loves German music. He’s into techno music/house music, and loves a good rave.

- Aaron is a normal or angry drunk on most alcohols/spirits, but on wine he’s a bubbling baby. Two glasses of white wine and he’s crying. He doesn’t drink wine.

- Once he gets qualified and graduates med school, most of the foxes text him about their medical questions. Andrew would just text him a picture of a cut that could be infected, or a digit that could be broken, and he’ll just respond “go to the ER” or “get a cream, ur good”. He’s passionate about his job, and secretly loves that his friends and family trust him enough with their medical problems to ask him for advice. Unless it’s Nicky, because he’s a hypochondriac, so he’ll happily tell him that a simple bruise on his foot that will that will heal in a week will need to be amputated. It’s like preparation for being a Dad and having to say the same thing to his kids.

- It wasn’t a hard decision to make, but when he gets married, it’s really really difficult for him to call Andrew and asks him to be his Best Man. Katelyn is on his ass for MONTHS to just say it to Andrew, but every time he tries to pick up the phone and ask, he thinks of an excuse not to. They’re together for Christmas or Thanksgiving a couple of months before the wedding, and when Neil and Katelyn are tidying away dishes, he asks Andrew out onto the porch for a cigarette. Andrew doesn’t say much, and winds him up about it because he can tell how anxious he is to ask, but he agrees of course. It’s a huge weight off Aaron’s shoulders, but Andrew just calls him stupid when Aaron tells him he was afraid he would say no.

- He has half of a fake tooth because one got chipped during an Exy match. He is really self conscious about it even though it’s barely noticeable at all. It’s the one regret he has about having played Exy in college.

- someone made a post recently about him being allergic to some type of fruit and honestly. He seems like the type to be allergic to kiwis.

- He’s a paediatric doctor once he gets certified. He’s really good with kids, and keeps stickers in his lab coat.

- He shaves his head at one point after Andrew goes pro, mostly because people keep coming up to him on the street and asking for pictures, thinking he’s Andrew.

- He goes to the Olympics the first time Andrew plays, and he can’t help but feel hugely proud watching his brother play. It’s the time that it really sinks in for him how much his life has changed since they first met, and how much purpose Neil has given him.

#short and sweet #but a couple of Aaron hcs for you #there’s probably more but that’s all I can think of right now #I have a soft spot for him somewhere in my heart #so misunderstood #mine #Aaron minyard #aftg

[foreverlogical]

In a New York Times profile of the Michigan Republican Party, state Rep. Lisa McClain offers a quintessentially stoic midwestern insight about the ailing state party that perfectly sums up the GOP's national dynamic too.

“It’s not going real well," McClain told the Times' Nick Corasaniti.

“The ability to raise money," she continued, "we’ve got a lot of donors sitting on the sideline. That’s not an opinion. That’s a fact. It’s just a plain fact. We have to fix that.”

Though McClain was assessing the divide between the state's monied benefactors, such as former Trump Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, and its Trumpy grassroots activists, she may as well have been talking about national GOP donors' frantic search for a savior as the MAGA grassroots coalesce around Donald Trump for the 2024 nomination.

In fact, Corasaniti's piece—an anatomy of GOP dysfunction encapsulated by the Republican Party in a Rust Belt swing state—mirrors rifts emerging across the country at both the state and national levels. Corasaniti portrays a party coming apart at the seams after its drubbing in the '22 cycle in a state where Republicans roundly lost the gubernatorial contest, every statewide executive office (e.g., attorney general and secretary of state), and control of both legislative chambers. A hat trick, if you will.

The key cast of characters includes:

Tudor Dixon, 2022 gubernatorial nominee, Bible-thumper, anti-abortion activist, and former right-wing news host.

Fervent 2020 election deniers Kristina Karamo and Matthew DePerno, 2022 GOP nominees for secretary of state and attorney general, respectively.

Meshawn Maddock, former co-chair of the Republican Party and leader of Women for Trump, who has been charged in the fake elector scheme.

The DeVos family, longtime Republican Party donors and Michigan establishment heavyweights.

Every one of those is effectively a stand-in for similarly situated Republican players in GOP apparatuses around the country.

Following Michigan Republicans' midterm election implosion, a round of rapid-fire finger-pointing broke out, with MAGA party officials blaming Dixon for a toxic near-total abortion ban position and soft fundraising, Dixon blaming both the party and old-guard donors for her campaign's collapse, and party officials chastising donors for insufficiently funding their cuckoo election-denying candidates.

Corasaniti writes:

A state party autopsy days after the election, made public by Ms. Dixon, acknowledged that “we found ourselves consistently navigating the power struggle between Trump and anti-Trump factions of the party” and that Mr. Trump “provided challenges on a statewide ballot.”

True enough. On the national stage, every 2024 Republican hopeful but Trump is presently trying to thread the needle of enthusing high-dollar donors while managing to peel away pro-Trump voters open to alternatives.Campaign Action

Back in Michigan, establishment type Dave Trott, a retired GOP congressman and former state party donor, dished about the Republican elite's distrust of former GOP co-chair Maddock, a MAGA activist.

"Meshawn was never connected to the donor base, and so having her as the vice chair [of the party] for a lot of us was a showstopper,” Trott explained. "We just knew she would never be someone that would be rational in her approach to state party politics."

In response, Maddock expressed a reciprocal lack of trust in the party's establishment muckety-mucks.

“The state party needs the wealthy RINOs who often fund it to come to terms with what the actual voters on the right want,” Maddock told the Times. Wealthy donors, she added, need to treat the base "with an ounce of respect for once.”

The same could be said of national Republican donors who have never crossed paths with actual base voters and apparently still believe Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin can save them from Trump.

That same mutual distrust and disgust between establishment Republican donors and state party officials is also playing out in Georgia, where popular Republican Gov. Brian Kemp warned well-heeled donors earlier this year they could "no longer rely on" the state Republican Party to win elections. Kemp has effectively built a parallel political apparatus after urging donors to abandon the pro-Trump state party.

And then there are the anti-abortion zealots pointing fingers at everyone else for their own deeply unpopular position. Dixon's support for a strict abortion ban doomed her candidacy, just like the efforts of Ohio Republicans to ban abortion there sank an anti-abortion ballot measure earlier this month.

Following that loss, the nation's premier forced birther group, Susan B. Anthony Pro-Life 

America, castigated establishment Republicans and the business community for not pulling their weight in the battle to pass the measure, which would have significantly raised the bar for enshrining abortion protections in Ohio's constitution.

All across the nation, the Republican Party is reckoning with the deal it cut with the devil. In swing states like Michigan and Georgia, red states like Ohio, and nationally, the GOP is cracking up as different factions variously cling to or reject Trump. The damage done may not be fully realized until voters cast their ballots next year, but the Republican Party is entering 2024 in a position so precarious that it almost defies historical comparison.

[amethyst-aster]

A typical Thanksgiving dinner

Aunt carol arrives first. She brings bean chili. It has odd looking smells, but overall not bad for her cooking

Cousin Jeremy comes second, carrying a baby axolotl in a bucket. He immediately goes to the air fryer. Squeals of terror are heard for two minutes, before it stops. He returns with a dish

Aunt Surya brings a terrible smelling tin. You don’t know what it is, and you don’t want to know. It gets uneaten except for cousin Eric.

Uncle Mark arrives with pumpkin pie. World famous and the most delicious pie you’ve ever eaten.

Aunt Ariel waltzes through the door with a bottle of wine. She starts doing interpretive dancing on the floor.

Cousin Thomas carries a bag of steamed green beans. It appears to be dipped in what you hope is cranberry jam. 

John Jacob dances through the rain in an umbrella with chocolate?

Annalise jumps with joy as she brings the gravy dish. It looks like hot pink play-dough, but you know what it is from past holidays

Bubbie Esther brings apple pie and cake, as she always does. It rivals the pumpkin pie

Anita carries a tin full of sweet potato casserole. It has a blue scarf in it, but she quickly takes it out. Strange. It looks exactly like cousin Barbra’s scarf. She was wearing it when she went missing

Dallas brings spinach casserole. Who is she? We don’t know, but she arrives anyway and nobody has the guts to tell her to leave. Bless her heart.

Uncle Bob brings a cake covered in fake eyes! Weird that it’s blinking though, seems to be in morse code…

Uncle Plant brings a tv? It’s not a food, but we allow it since he’s a plant and things are different where he lives

Granny Betsy brings a cow! It’s her favorite cow! Maria the cow was my favorite. Alas, she’s too old and “sickly”. She was tasty. Shame you only got one piece.

Cousin Aster brings mashed potatoes. It is the most flavorful potatoes you’ve ever had. Their eyes seem to be glowing purple…weird…

Cousin Layla brings ramen with ginger. Nothing can ruin ramen, right?

Sister NINA brings the ruins of an old ship. She’s crazy. Don’t listen to her. She smells like cat fur. When she brings it in, some lemon juice gets in your eye. You think it’s from the rotting planks…

You all gather at a large table. The air is warm and slightly muggy.

(Add yourself if you want)

#Mr plant #Crazy family #implied murder #Axolotl death #Baby animals #ramen #The void

[radiofreederry]

US Presidents as Dril Tweets

George Washington: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

John Adams: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.

Thomas Jefferson: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts

James Madison: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby

James Monroe: for decades i have traversed the unforgiving mountains and rivers of south america, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled "ass downloader"

John Quincy Adams: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

Andrew Jackson: handing Faves over to my enemies is FRAUD !! base, contemptible FRAUD!

Martin Van Buren: Food $200

Data $150

Rent $800

Candles $3,600

Utility $150

someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

William Henry Harrison: (spends all of 7 seconds skimming some blog posts) yep. just as i knew all along. having pnuamonia is good

John Tyler: fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

James K. Polk: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom

Zachary Taylor: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers tell me that im dying

Millard Fillmore: trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...

Franklin Pierce: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin

James Buchanan: #NationalGirlfriendDay please cherish your gal's.. in honor of us, the single Boys who must sacrifice all companionship to #CarryTheBrand...

Abraham Lincoln: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"

Andrew Johnson: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

Ulysses S. Grant: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT

Rutherford B. Hayes: using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,

James A. Garfield: too much truth in such little time. feeling the heat cominh down to silence me... signing off........ for now

Chester A. Arthur: i WILL wise the fuck up. i WILL super charge my content for 2017. i WILL get blue check mark

Grover Cleveland: the way i see it, people who come on here and submit content that is not up to par, could possibly be considered the "Villains" of this site

Benjamin Harrison: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc

William McKinley: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool's Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!

Theodore Roosevelt: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

William H. Taft: ah.. the perfect Souffle! cant wait to dig in to t(*EVERY PIPE IN MY HOUSE EXPLODES AT THE SAME TIME, COVERING ME IN SHIT AND BOILING WATER*

Woodrow Wilson: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer

Warren G. Harding: somebody please Bribe me

Calvin Coolidge: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals

Herbert Hoover: it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting six numbers and saying them out loud

Franklin D. Roosevelt: ive never heard of this “europe” but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me

Harry Truman: everybody wants to be the guy to write the tweet that solves racism once and for all because it would look good as hell on a resume

Dwight D. Eisenhower: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed

John F. Kennedy: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self

Lyndon B. Johnson: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"

Richard Nixon: i attribute the complete failure of my brand to the actions of detractors, oor my “trolls”, as it were, as well as my own constant fuckups

Gerald Ford: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right

Jimmy Carter: i warnned you all that bad things would happen if you kept letting your wives wear jeans. AND NOW LOOK! the damn gas prices are up again

Ronald Reagan: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn

George H.W. Bush: just thought off an idea i believe to be bad ass. lets find the address of the leader of isis, and mail him/ her pieces of our SHIT

Bill Clinton: were at the point now, that when i offer to impregnate my girl followers, people assume my motives are sexual. disgusting, grow the fuck up,

George W. Bush: friday night gathering up together a big pile of things i like to respect (flags, crucifixes ,etc) and just roll around in it ,give kisses,

Barack Obama: my IQ has increased 10 points ever since i stopped tollerating people mucking about, on the time line

Donald Trump: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.

ME: I agree

Joe Biden: I will shut the fuck up , IF , it will restore the Harmony. I will get on my knees like a dog and make that sacrifice, for the sake of Calm

#the classic reborn #my post #long post #dril #history

[behindthescreamz]

character portraits and behind the scenes photos of the special effects makeup done on betsy russell in “saw 3d” (2010)

#source: @imbetsyrussell on instagram #horror #behind the scenes #jill tuck #betsy russell #saw 3d #saw #saw franchise #saw movies #jigsaw #horror movies #special effects makeup #special effects #cw: gore #cw: fake blood #blood tw #tw gore #tw blood #gore tw #trigger warning #cw: fake body #gore #blood #fake body

[gumclones]

this deserves to be a longer and more effortful post but the thing about the candy people is… they aren’t actually dumb! Betsy Poundcake was able to self-study anatomy and medicine, Cherry Cream Soda is a lawyer, Root Beer Guy’s coworkers and boss all feel very much like people you’d encounter in real life, and so on. there’s of course a level of goofiness that candy people as a whole exhibit, but I think that this can be better explained with:

the world of Adventure Time is very cartoony already! characters who demonstrate themselves to be clever and intelligent are also quite silly. we see this with Bubblegum herself, as well as with Simon and Betty.

the candy people live under a framework that encourages silliness. (again, if I had more energy I’d go into more detail, and I probably will! later, though)

in particular, I think that candy people can be quite charmingly opportunistic! the James clones’ realization that by faking their deaths they could gain more friends and also earn medals for bravery is the first thing that comes to mind here.

in general I think the candy people show that people’s potential can be shaped, for better or for worse, by their environment and how they are treated, and that they aren’t stuck a certain way just from how they were made.

#very deliberately did not mention Peps or Crunchy bc I think the point stands better if it’s about regular everyday people #Adventure Time #James #Cherry Cream Soda #Nurse Poundcake #Root Beer Guy #original #text #gen

[snooblesgoobles]

The funfact of the day is that joy fake coughs when betsy smokes, cos shes petty like that. Anyways lesbians.

#oddcore #weirdcore #artists on tumblr #morbidart #morute #mochette #coqeutte #coquette #lesbian #butch #butch4femme #soft aesthetic #southern gothic #snoobs ocs #ethel cain

[jtl-fics]

Bigger is better? Nah, give me the Smalls pls!

WIP Wednesday - 11-1-23 (Open) | Smalls AU

Betsy opens a white door to find a nicely decorated guest room. The walls are a warm beige, the bed sheets are a dark grey, there are fake plants, and a nice large window.

Janie can't help but wonder if this room was made to feel the exact opposite of a psyche ward. "You'll be here for around two months so feel free to decorate a bit, just try not to poke any holes in the walls." Betsy says.

There are many all mighty creaks that come in the direction of the stairs and Janie watches Betsy flinch with each one visibly bothered by the sounds but her smile doesn't fade regardless.

#Smalls AU #AFTG #AFTG AU #Janie Smalls #Betsy Dobson #Smalls - Betsy - 24 #11-1-23 WIP Wednesday #WIP Wednesday Ask Game #12