#expectation that they SHOULD be used and this is because there is a belief that lighter skin = more beautiful. regardless of how messed up

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I’d love to hear your take on the rumour that Meghan wanted to sue for/believed the Duchy of Cornwall should be split 50/50 between the brothers and whether you believe there was any truth in it?

Initially I thought no one is this delulu but now I am not so sure…

So one of the things I’ve learned in tracking/following BRF rumors is that most of them have some truth to them. To me, that’s what makes this fun; digging as deep as I can to find out what that little modicum of truth is that makes it seem plausible.

I don’t know that the rumor Meghan wanted to sue for 50% of the Duchy of Cornwall is legit. For one, no lawyer (in their right mind) would take that case because it’s pretty settled in the law how succession and inheritance works. But never say never, right, because there’s always an ambulance chaser sniffing around. (That’s why Shakespeare said we need to kill all the lawyers first.)

But there are three things I see as being behind her (and Harry’s) belief that the Sussexes would get a cut of the Cornwall money.

One - Inheritance vs Succession

I do think she, and Harry, believed that they could get some kind of money from the Duchy of Cornwall because they probably saw it more as an inheritance, rather than succession. So usually with an inheritance, it’s split between children/relatives, so Meghan probably assumed that Cornwall would be split between William and Harry because it’s Charles giving away an inheritance versus laws about succession. (I’m not sure if that makes sense. I don’t really know how else to explain what I’m thinking about that.)

But it goes back to Diana’s insistence that the brothers be raised equally, and at some point there was probably a conversation or two where “everything William gets, Harry gets” implanted in Harry’s brain and he has really taken that to heart over the years, probably spurred on by Meghan’s own ambitions of “everything Kate gets, I should have too.”

Two - Magnificent Six

Charles’s ‘Magnificent Six’ plan/vision kicked off in 2012 with the jubilee - that the future of the monarchy was Charles, William, and Harry and their wives. William and Kate would focus more on the UK and Harry and his future wife would focus more on the Commonwealth. I feel pretty confident that those discussions Charles was having with his sons and the courtiers at that time would have included some kind of discussion about the finances and how the Commonwealth work would be funded. Maybe during those discussions something came up like because Harry + Future Wife would live at Kensington Palace alongside William and Kate, it made sense that his work would continue to be represented by Kensington Palace instead of being shifted over to Buckingham Palace so maybe there was some kind of deal that a portion of the Cornwall money would continue being allocated to Harry because if the arrangement worked, why break it?

(Remember, back when these discussions were taking place, 2009ish - 2013ish, Meghan wasn’t anywhere close to the picture so there probably were a lot of things promised to Harry, or that Harry expected, that were ultimately taken away when he did marry and Meghan did join the family because of attitude/behavior issues affecting the monarchy’s overall reputation and representation.)

Three - General Not Understanding of These Things

Look, neither Meghan nor Harry are details people. So chances are extraordinarily high that they never bothered to actually read the papers or understand the laws about how the titles, succession, transition, and accession actually worked. They just assumed that everything would stay the same or that they would also get Wales titles too. And we know that’s what they assumed because of all the PR the Sussexes kept putting out in the second half of 2022; stories about how they wanted to start using “Prince Harry and Princess Meghan of Wales” titles - someone out there in Montecito thought that “of Wales” meant children of the monarch, not that it was its own separate title/position.

And I wouldn’t be surprised if that lack of understanding (or sheer ignorance) also came with a heavy delusion that “inheriting” Charles’s “of Wales” surname also came with “inheriting” Charles’s money too.

So I guess long story short, the delusion is rooted in reality. It’s just a matter of figuring out what reality it is. Was there legitimately a plan for William to continue supporting Harry’s office post-accession with Cornwall money the same way Charles supported both of the sons with Cornwall money? Or did Harry promise

#ask #brf #sussexes #theories

[thetravelingmaster]

Short Story: Conquering the Dream

Male's Point of View - Hypnosis

I watched her jump on the sofa and couldn't help but smile.

"Look Master! I got a new pair of kitty ears! Aren't they the cutest?" she said excitedly. "I think I should wear them the next time you turn me into Kitten..."

My girlfriend was so gorgeous compared to me that most people couldn't figure out how we started to date. Which always makes me laugh in a way because in truth, she was much more than simply my girlfriend, but I couldn't very well tell people that she was also my hypnotic plaything and obedient slave.

Thankfully, the story of how we met is a fairly common story in college.

Well... The beginning of it anyway...

Pretty girl takes a class she isn't interested in, but knows it will give the credits she'll eventually get on job applications. Of course, she only aimed to pass said course and isn't truly interested in the material. Since she doesn't however, she finds herself in the sticky situation where she can't maintain a passing grade. Sadly, her calculations of getting a pass from the teacher because she's cute and flirty backfired because of his strong ethics.

Now the girl is desperate because failing an extra credit course looks much worse than not applying for the class in the first place.

Pretty girl then looks for an affordable tutor to help her get back on track and earn a passing grade. She eventually found me and as expected, she was very flirty and hinted that if I would give her some sort of discount on my tutoring fees, it would be worth my wild. Not being immune to the attentions of a pretty girl even if it was obviously a ruse to get me to tutor her for free, I offered a deal.

Since I was a psychology major, I told her that if she helped me with my hypnotherapy studies, I would help her with her class studies. I was about to add that I could use our hypnosis practice to help her focus on her classes, but she interrupted me by excitedly accepting.

Saying that she found the arrangement more than fair all while looking visibly relieved she didn't have to pay me. She was VERY skeptical about hypnosis in general and that actually helped me a lot in my studies because I had to be creative in my induction plans. Thankfully, she was a real sport about it since my tutoring was already showing promising signs in her class.

Eventually though, I was able to place her in a trance and to my utter delight, she turned out to be quite the open minded and trusting subject. Since I was a geek, she viewed me as completely harmless so her subconscious didn't put up any sort of defense when I began to explore her mind.

And tweak it...

I started slow, but when I saw that she remained clueless to my influence, even after I implanted a suggestion that she needed to be in her bra and panties for her tutoring session with me, I concluded that I could be bolder.

I knew very well that she didn't find me in any way attractive, but since she had come to trust me so completely, I had a solid base to work with and after a few clever sessions, I found a part of her that had the potential to find me attractive. Nurturing that sentiment went so much better than I could have hoped and before long, she was unconsciously dressing up extra pretty when she knew she was coming over to see me.

She didn't notice it at all when her body made every excuse to pose for me or brush up against me when I tutored her. Or at least, her conscious mind didn't notice.

Her subconscious definitely did and it fueled her growing attraction even more.

Since she proved to be so pliable, I decided to do a little experiment by having her strip naked while still in her trance. She didn't resist at all and I could even see tale tell signs that part of her was enjoying it. Getting even bolder, I had her wake up with the belief that she wasn't naked at all.

Admittedly, it was more than a little entertaining to watch her unconsciously flirt with me while she wasn't wearing a stitch of clothes. Since she still remained completely clueless to what she was truly doing, I decided to leave her subconscious with a few new things to think about before she left.

It took a few more sessions, but eventually those little sprouts of thought bore fruit as her attraction to me shifted to outright arousal. Since she had an unconscious habit to wear revealing clothes, it was plain to see how horny her body became in my presence.

And thanks to a few interesting suggestions, I was glad to see it react that much more when ever I phrased my instructions with words like 'you will do this now' instead of 'you should try this next time'. Even if I was slow and deliberate with my suggestions, it still fascinated me to no end that with all the changes I was making to her behavior, she still remained clueless, even when it became clear that our hypnosis sessions weren't at all something I could use in class.

Although... I'm sure most of my fellow students wouldn't have minded it at all if we did an 'adult' demonstration of the many triggers floating around in her mind.

Eventually, all my meddling came to a wonderful head when midterms came around and she passed her exam with flying colors. She was so happy and grateful for my help that she decided to offer me a home cooked meal at her place as a way to thank me for all my hard work. I hadn't specifically suggested anything more than a deep desire to reward me for my work, so I was pleasantly surprised by her offer.

All evening, she 'doted' and flirted with me until it was time to leave, where she honestly surprised me again by pushing me against the door so she could kiss me. I was always planning for her to feel overwhelmed by her growing attraction for me, but originally thought it would take longer to break down her preconceptions of me. It didn't take long for our lustful make out session to take us to her bedroom where she wouldn't take no for an answer.

Which may or may not be something I slipped into her mind...

Regardless, we fucked and for me, it was the best evening of my life! I learned afterwards, once we were done and I took advantage of our post coital cuddling to drop her in a trance, that unsurprisingly, even though she hadn't faked her release, it hadn't been as wonderful for her. Thankfully, her mind was so open to my influence by then that it took very little convincing to shape her memory of the event into something she thought was earth shattering and deeply meaningful.

After that first night, her attraction for me wasn't just something I had nurtured in her subconscious anymore so when we had our next hypnotic 'rendezvous', her mind took to my suggestions even better than before. So much so that she didn't even think to notice that I used a hypnosis session, which was supposed to be meant only for my studies, to have her do a long erotic strip tease for me once the 'trance' was over. As expected, she thought it was all her idea as a way to seduce me into sleeping with her again.

Which we obviously did and like before, I didn't waste the relaxing cuddling we enjoyed and dropped her back in a trance so I could work on her sexual appreciation of my meager talents in bed. Surprisingly enough, my previous 'work' had already made our second session of love-making much more agreeable for her, but nonetheless, I made sure to tweak her memories to make sure it was extra special.

Since everything had gone so well and she was still so utterly clueless about my hypnotic influence, I decided to kick things up a notch during our next session. So far, I had only made her strip during her trance while only giving her hypnotic suggestions of pleasure and enjoyment. However, once she dropped in a deep trance, I tested how she would react to a suggestion that made her masturbate. I held my breath as I watched her hand slowly make its way to her already dripping folds, but to my glee, she stayed perfectly entranced as her fingers began to play with herself.

After a long edge, I had her wake up, still naked, and talked with her as if our session was done. Like before, she gave no indication she realized she was naked, but moreover, she also didn't give off any indicators that told me she was aware she had just masturbated in front of me.

Needless to say, I started to include a lot more pleasure in her trances after that, which I made sure to link it to those initial fun suggestions that made her aroused whenever I 'commanded' her to do something. By the time we had our next fuck, I could already notice a sharp shift in her attitude in bed when I flexed my authority.

Obviously, when I dropped her after our fun, I made sure to expand those feelings and tweak her memories a little to make sure she noticed the link in her conscious mind.

To my immense delight, it worked like a charm because when we met up again for our usual tutoring, she was extra flirty and VERY attentive towards me. When we switched from our tutoring to her hypnosis session, I capitalized on that feeling and made it bloom even more into a deep desire to please me as she mindlessly masturbated for me.

By the time her trance was over, she was so overwhelmed with pleasure that she didn't even register that my cock was already in her mouth as she awoke from trance. Her desire to please mixed with her mind-melting pleasure so perfectly that she didn't miss a beat and sucked me off as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Obviously, I wasted no time and placed her in a VERY deep trance once I came. Just to make sure she remembered how enjoyable it was to please me like that. However, I didn't have to change her memories all that much because apparently, she had enjoyed it a lot already. That surprised me because up until that point, she hadn't really bothered to pleasure me orally during our fucks and it had made me assume it was because she didn't enjoy doing it. Needless to say, after that little conversation with her subconscious and her blooming desire to please me, she found herself quite eager to try it again the next time we were intimate and of course, I subsequently made doubly sure she remembered how incredible it felt.

Once she was firmly convinced of how awesome and satisfying it was to suck and fuck me, I began to introduce suggestions that would trigger when ever we were intimate. Or... To be more precise, whenever she gave my cock pleasure.

It wasn't anything like a deep trance, but the hypnotic suggestion still pulled her down in a mild compliant trance, which ended up doubling her enjoyment of our carnal time together because by that point, her mind was more than a little addicted to being in a trance. Plus, as an added bonus, her increased compliant mindset and enhanced pleasure did wonders to continually condition her.

Cementing her deep enjoyment of my control...

After a while, I couldn't resist the urge to implant an oral pleasure trigger and even if I knew that with all I had already done, the odds were that she wouldn't even realize it was a hypnotic manipulation, I was still mildly anxious the first time I trigger her while we relaxed and watched a movie. My angst was extremely short lived however because all she did when I spoke the trigger was smile mischievously as she 'thought' about something erotic she wanted to do to me.

I still remember how satisfying it felt to watch her giggle naughtily as she moved down on the sofa so she could blow me.

Spending almost every available night over at her place also meant that I could work on her subconscious as much as I wanted. It made it so easy to substitute the way she called me when we were alone. And still, her conscious mind remained completely clueless to the fact that she had started to call me Master. Even when I came over one night and casually collared her, she didn't think it was odd or weird at all because to her subconscious, she had already surrendered herself to me a thousand time over.

I'm honestly unsure if it was because of my patience and skill or if it was simply because her mind turned out to be so pliable, but by the time she moved in with me, her mind was so open to my influence that a firm command, if repeated a few times, acted as well as triggers without the need to place her in a deep trance.

For example, I commanded her to kneel and feel aroused whenever I snapped my fingers and even if it didn't quite work the first few times she consciously obeyed, I quickly realized that the instructions took hold in her subconscious because it didn't take long for it to work as intended. Nowadays, if she sees me snap my fingers, she instantly kneels with a deep moan as her pussy moistens in anticipation.

The last step that admittedly caused me anxiety was to make her aware that I was still hypnotizing her on a regular basis. Because of how clueless she had been to everything else, I didn't HAVE to do it, but I desired with her a little more openly at home and having a subject become fascinated with her own triggers was something I wished to experience with her.

As with every other step, it turned out I had no reason to be nervous at all because the moment I proposed erotic hypnosis, her eyes began to sparkle with anticipation. All she could think about was how much more pleasure she could offer me if we started to play like that. 

Honestly, I was still surprised that it never even occurred to her that I could use my hypnotic talents in the way that I did. But she never did and we’ve grown so comfortable and happy in our relationship that even our friends stopped finding our relationship weird.

No doubt they chalk it up to being some sort of modern fairy tale where the nerdy average guy manages to conquer the heart of the pretty girl through his hidden charm and brilliant intellect.

I mean… They aren’t totally wrong…

After all, I DID conquer her in my own brilliant way.

#short story #Conquering the Dream

[soracities]

Hi! So I tried not to say anything about some anti makeup posts I saw on your blog but I need to say this. I think you're very wise and I agree it's very important for us to love ourselves as we are. But some people like myself doesn't care about 'empowering' of makeup or whatever but we just have fun with it and we just love it. I say we because I know there is a lot of people like me. Yeah, we are feeding capitalism or whatever, but world is beautiful and it's also terrible so people trying make themselves feel good, have fun, ect. I see a lot of people who don't wear makeup and i'm happy for them! I didn't wear makeup until i turned 20 i think and felt good.

One thing I wanted to add is in response of post about feminine girls. I think everything needs balance and sometimes people tend to overreact in their opinion and divide everything in black and white. Personally I never cared how women around me looked and what they were wearing. But I would like to have same treatment, and not to feel silly for wearing pink or feminine clothes.

Sorry, I don't know English very well so maybe I can't translate my idea entirely. What I'm trying to say i think everyone should do what they like and leave each other in peace.

Sorry for this essay, just wanted to share my point of view.

Hi, anon! I'm sorry for the delay in getting to this, but I appreciate you writing this (and your English was fine, don't worry)

I think the main argument of those posts (and my own feelings about this) is not about makeup on its own, or even judgement about who does and doesn't choose to wear it--what they are criticizing is a particular part of the society we live in which puts a huge emphasis on women's beauty and appearance in order to fulfill an idea of what a woman "should" be, and the role that makeup plays in that as a result. Because whether we like it or not, whether we believe in them or not, whether we feel pressured by them or not, these expectations do exist. How we personally respond to them does not change that.

I personally don't have an issue with makeup or the concept of it (in almost every culture on earth, humans have been using makeup of some kind for literally thousands of years)--but what I do have a problem with is when we treat makeup, or other traditionally "feminine" forms of expression as neutral things when they are not. A comb or a hair tie is neutral--it's just a thing. Lipstick and eyeliner are also just things, but only when they exist by themselves--and in reality they don't exist by themselves: they exist in a world where we value women on their physical appearance before we value them for anything else--lipstick and eyeliner exist to emphasise parts of your appearance, to make you look a certain way--and in a society where we put so much importance on women looking a certain way, they aren't just ordinary things you toy around with for fun. You can have fun with them, but it doesn't change their role. They can't be treated as exceptions from the world they are used in.

I think sometimes people assume that being anti-makeup is the same as being anti-women-who-wear-makeup, which misses the point (and also suggests a very dangerous idea which I think, sometimes, is why people respond so angrily to these criticisms: because if we believe that being anti-makeup = being anti-women, then therefore makeup = womanhood, and this is simply not true). Whether you wear these things just for fun and to enjoy yourself isn't what is being talked about because these criticisms are not about you on a personal level: they are about looking at a society that is as image-obsessed as ours, and asking why makeup has the role that it has when 1) it is almost exclusively aimed at women--women who, as a group, have been historically marginalised, and whose value, historically, has almost always been measured in terms of their beauty before anything else and 2) the makeup that is emphasized, the trends and styles that come and go, are often not so much about self-expression (if they were, people would be freely wearing all sorts of wild colours and styles: when we talk about "makeup culture" it's not the same kind of makeup used in the goth, punk, or alt scenes for example where makeup plays a very different role) but almost always about achieving or aspiring towards a type of beauty that is valued or expected: to make you look younger, to make your eyes brighter or larger, to make your lips bigger or sexier, your cheekbones more prominent etc--again, on their own, these things may not be a big deal, but they exist in a world where having these looks means you are valued in a certain way as a woman. And when this exists in our kind of world, where the power dynamics we have automatically mean women's perceived power is through beauty, and where we insist so much on women being a particular kind of beautiful (and this starts in childhood) we have to ask and investigate WHY that is--why this type of beauty and not another? why (almost only) women? who benefits from this? who suffers as a result?

The argument of "not all women" wear makeup for empowerment misses the point of these criticism, because it is focusing on a person's individual choices in a way that suggests our choices can define the world we live in, and they can't. We are deeply social animals. Therefore, how we appear to each other and to ourselves is a socially influenced phenomenon. This applies for race, for sexuality, and for gender. How women are perceived at large, in different social structures, is a social phenomenon influenced by the societies we exist in and the values of those societies. These criticisms are about the society we make those choices in and how that can affect us. For you, makeup may be something fun and enjoyable and that's fine. I'm not saying that's untrue or that people don't feel this way or that you are wrong for feeling this way. It's also not saying that you are brain-washed or oppressing yourself for it. But it doesn't change the world we live in. Someone feeling perfectly happy to go out with makeup or without makeup, and feeling no pressure to do either, is great--but it doesn't mean there aren't a lot of women who do feel pressured into wearing it, and that pressure is a social one. It doesn't change the inequality that exists between how women's physical appearances are judged compared to men's. It doesn't change the fact that almost every childhood story most kids hear (that aren't about animals) have a "beautiful princess" (and very little else is said about her except that she is beautiful) and a "brave" knight/prince/king/whichever: the princess (or maiden or whatever young woman) is defined by how she looks; the male in the story by how he acts.

It also doesn't change the fact that so many young girls grow up hearing the women around them criticize various parts of their bodies and that they carry this into their lives. It doesn't change the fact that we expect (in Western countries at least) for women to have criticisms about their appearance and they are "stuck-up" or "full of themselves" if they don't. It doesn't change the fact that magazines photos, red carpet photos, films, tv shows etc., feature actresses who are beautiful in a way that is absolutely above and beyond exceptional (and who either have had work done cosmetically, or are wealthy enough to be able to afford to look the way they do through top-class makeup artists, personal trainers etc) but who we think are within the "normal" range of beauty because faces like theirs are all that we see--how many famous actors / entertainers can you name who look like they could be someone's random uncle, or "just some guy" (writing this, I can think of 5). Now how many actresses, equally famous, can you think of that are the same? Very, very, very few.

The point of those posts, and why I feel so strongly about this, is that we have a deeply skewed view of beauty when it comes to women, because, as a society, we place so much on how they look in such a way that it is not, and was never meant to be, achievable: therefore anything that contributes to how women look, that markets itself in the way that the makeup industry does in this day and age, needs to be questioned and looked at in relation to that. No one is saying don't wear eyeliner or blush--what they are trying to say is that we need to be aware of the kind of world eyeliner and blush exists in, what their particular functions as eyeliner and blush do in the world that they exist in, that we exist in, and how this does impact the view we have on makeup as a result. Your personal enjoyment may be true to you and others, but this doesn't change the role of female beauty in the world because, again, our personal choices don't define the world in this way. Often, it's the other way around. And we cannot deny this fact because, while it may not affect you negatively, it does affect others.

I absolutely agree with you because I don't care how other women around me choose to dress or express themselves, either--that's their freedom to wear what they want and enjoy themselves and I want them to have that freedom. But my view is not the world's view, and it's certainly not the view of a lot of other people, either. I don't care if another woman loves pink and wearing skirts and dresses--but, like makeup, pink, skirts, and dresses, are not neutral things either. They're tied to a particular image of 'femininity' which means they are tied to a particular way of "being a woman" in this world. I'm not saying, at all, that it's wrong to wear these things. But I'm saying we can't treat them as though these are choices as simple as choosing what kind of socks to wear, because they aren't. They are choices that have baggage. If a woman is seen as being silly, childish, or treated unequally because she enjoys cute tops and ribbons and sundresses, that's not because we are demonizing her choices, or because being anti-makeup is being anti-woman (again, it is absolutely not): it's because we as a society demonize women for any choice. That isn't because of anti-makeup stances--that's because of sexism.

You mentioned that you want to be treated the same as anyone else for wearing feminine clothes--but the fear that you wouldn't be isn't because of the discussions critiquing makeup and other traditionally "feminine" things--it's because we live in a society where women are constantly defined by how they appear on the outside, and no amount of our personal choices will make this untrue. Whether you are a girly-girl or a tomboy, you'll always be judged. And, in reality, when women follow certain beauty standards they do get treated better--but this doesn't mean much in a society where the standards are so high you can never reach them, and where the basic regard for women is so low to begin with (not to mention the hypocrisy that exists within those standards). This is what all those criticisms towards makeup and "empowerment" are about: it's about interrogating a society that is built on this kind of logic and asking why we should insist on leaving it as it is when it does so much damage. It's saying that that if we want everyone to truly feel free in how they choose to present themselves we have to go deeper than just defining freedom by these choices on their own, and look at the environment those choices are made in. And that involves some deeply uncomfortable but necessary conversations.

Also, and I think this important to remember, views on makeup and the social place of makeup will also depend on culture and where you are, and the beauty expectations you grew up with. And when it comes to the internet, and given American dominance online, a lot of these posts criticizing makeup and the way makeup is being used to sell an idea that wearing it is "empowering" to the woman (which is basically saying: you are MORE of a woman when you wear it; you are stronger and more powerful because, in our society, beauty is portrayed as a form of power: it tells you, you can battle the inequality women face by embracing the role beauty plays in our lives but it doesn't tell you this emphasis on beauty is part of that inequality), are based on the way makeup is portrayed in mostly English-speaking Western countries. My views are shaped by what I grew up seeing, and while a full face of makeup (concealer, primer, foundation, mascara, highlighter, contour, blush, brow tint, brow gel etc) may not be daily practice or even embraced in a place like France or maybe other places in mainland Europe (but that doesn't mean they don't have their own expectations of feminine beauty), they are daily practice in places like the US and Britain, and this is what most of those posts and criticisms are responding to.

We can argue as much as we want about makeup, but when you grow up in a society where women feel the need to put on makeup before going to the gym there is something seriously wrong. Embracing makeup and enjoying makeup is one thing, but it cannot be a neutral thing when so much of it is about looking like you're not wearing makeup at all, or when we assume a woman is better qualified for a job or more professional when she wears it. It cannot be a neutral thing when a singer like Alicia Keys goes makeup-free for a red carpet event and it causes a stir online because people think she looks sick (what she looks like is normal--I would argue above normal--but wearing makeup to cover up "flaws" is so normal now that we genuinely don't know what normal skin is supposed to look like because the beauty of these celebrities is part of their appeal: they are something to aspire to). It is absolutely very normal for me, where I am, to see young girls with fake lashes and filled in brows: it's not every girl I pass, but it is enough. I'm not saying they are miserable, or brain-washed, or should be judged. I can believe that for them it's something enjoyable--but how am I supposed to see something like that and not be aware of the kind of celebrities and makeup tutorials that are everywhere on TikTok and YouTube, and that they are seeing everyday? How am I not supposed to have doubts when people tell me "it's their choice!" when the choices being offered are so limited and focused on one thing?

I never wore makeup as a teenager and I still don't, but a lot of that is because I grew up surrounded by people who just didn't. Makeup was never portrayed as anything bad or forbidden (and I don't see it like that either)--it was just this thing that, for me growing up, was never made to be a necessity not even for special occasions. I saw airbrushed photos and magazines all around me, for sure, and I definitely felt the beauty pressure and the body pressure (for example, I definitely felt my confidence would be better if I wore concealer to deal with my uneven skintone, and I felt this for years). But I also know that, growing up, I saw both sides. No makeup was the default I saw at home, while makeup was the default I saw outside. And that does play a part, not just in the choices you make, but in the choices that you feel you are allowed to make. No makeup was an option for me because it was what I saw everyday, even with my own insecurities; but if you do not see that as an option around you (and I know for most girls my age, where I grew up, it probably wasn't) then how can we fully argue that the decision you make is a real choice?

If I wanted to wear a cute skirt outside, for example, and decided to shave my legs--that isn't a real choice. And it cannot ever be a real choice, no matter how much I say "this is for me" or "I prefer it like this" because going out in public with hairy legs and going out in public with shaved legs will cause two completely different reactions. How can I separate what I think is "my choice" from a choice I make because I want to avoid the negative looks and comments? And how can I argue that choosing to shave is a freely made choice when the alternative has such negativity? If you feel pressured into choosing one thing over another, that's not a choice. Does this make sense?

This is how I feel about makeup most of the time, and what I want more than anything else is for us to be able to have a conversation about why we make the choices we do beyond saying "it makes me feel good" and ending the conversation there. Again, I'm not saying people need to stop wearing makeup or stop finding enjoyment in wearing it, but I think we tend to get so focused on our own feelings about this and forget that there is a bigger picture and this picture is a deeply unequal one. That is what this conversation is about. I hope this explains some things, anon, and if I misinterpreted anything please feel free to message me again. x

#i think in essence what i'm trying to say is that #some things are true in a microcosm but you cannot make a universal application for them bc the microcosm isn't representative of the whole #and it is dangerous to assume that it is or that it can be bc you're erasing the bigger picture when you do that #it would be like a poc saying they never felt the pressure of skin-lightening creams which is amazing but it doesnt change the fact that a #whole industry exists selling skin-lightening products BECAUSE there is a demand for them and that demand exists BECAUSE there is an #expectation that they SHOULD be used and this is because there is a belief that lighter skin = more beautiful. regardless of how messed up #and damaging that logic is that doesn't mean it doesn't exist in the world #and therefore those industries exist to maintain that belief because that belief is what drives their purpose and their profits #and we are doing no favours to the countless poc who DO feel pressured to subject their skins to these products or who come away with #a deeply damaged sense of self-worth (not to mention the internalised racism that's behind these beliefs) bc of constantly being told they #are less than for being darker than a paper bag which is RIDICULOUS #saying its all down to choice is not far off from saying you can CHOOSE to not be affected by the pressure but like....that's just not true #you can't choose to not be the recipient of colorism any more than you can choose to not be the recipient of sexism. and its putting a huge #amount of pressure and responsibility for an individual to just not be affected by deeply ingrained societal pressures and expectations whe #what we SHOULD be doing is actually tackling those expectations and pressures instead #they are leaving these systems intact to continue the damage that they do by making everything about what you as an individual think and #believe but while we all ARE individuals we dont live in separate bubbles. we are part of and IN this world together. and it acts on us as #much as we act on it. but like.....i think i've gone on enough already #ask #anonymous

[hel7l7]

Are you anti self-dx entirely?

To be honest... I don't know. There's so much nuance to make on the entire subject...

And everything I say about this feels wrong. I just hope everyone is careful with it all.

( Edit: half of the tags on this got deleted bcs apparently there's a max tags you can add... anyway enjoy the ramble if there are any more questions please ask them bcs I do not want misunderstandings or anything ;))

#i just think that mental illness is becoming quite popular #and not only because we're massively suffering #but because we're refusing to use common sense #because we're so afraid of being human #we're so afraid of the full human experience #we're all led to belief that when things are a bit off something immediately is wrong with us #in the end diagnosis doesn't really matter #it helps sometimes #sure #but being put in a box can also be very limiting #and i have so many thoughts about this #but i cannot put it in words yet #it's just that as humans we've come to a point where we need to function properly because that's what's best #what should be best #but it's not human #the expectations this society has from us is not realistic #we're not seeing each other #there's no space left to look out for each other #because we need to make money #so much fucking money #to keep up #and if you cannot keep up you're fucked #but everyone is afriad #everyone is almost forced to run away from themselves because you have a familiy or yourself to feed #you cannot take a step back and breathe #and be #and love #and care #and help those who suffer #i belief there's some sort of mental illness pandemic going on

[wishful-seeker]

Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist

1. When a disabled person says they cannot do something, and you wish to offer solutions, do not make a solution that involves them powering through pain, or something thats not accessible to the disabled.

Example:

Disabled person: "washing dishes hurts too much and i cannot do it."

Abled person: "what if you did one dish at a time throughout the day?"

This statement is not respecting that this disabled person just said they "can't". Always respect that. No matter how simple the task would be for you.

Disabled person:" i think ill use plastic silverware so i don't make dishes."

Abled person: "plastic is bad for the environment!"

This statement shuts down the most accessible and disabled friendly option that this disabled person can actually do because of the abled persons personal beliefs. This is not helpful, and ableist.

Better yet, instead of offering solutions, ask them directly "is there anything you need that you do not have that would help you do this?" This allows the disabled person to think about what would work, and they will always have a better idea of what would work than you do.

To add on to this, when we say we have no more energy to solve a problem or do a task, or change our lifestyle, we mean it.

2. If you feel discomfort when a disabled person is talking about their health, good and bad, that is ableist. Your discomfort is coming from a place that deams disabled peoples very existence as a bad thing and you need to fix that.

For example:

Disabled person:" this week has been rough pain wise, ive been through a lot, felt like my body was on fire. Lucky i got new meds though and i think they're helping!"

Abled person: "can we talk about something else, this is a bummer."

Disabled people should be able to exist freely without worrying about your personal comfort. Do you really think its appropriate to tell someone in constant pain that their life is making YOU uncomfortable?

3. Do not treat disabled people as tragedies, do not romanticize their old life or put their current one down.

For example:

Disabled person: "yeah my life is pretty difficult sometimes, ive lost a lot but i still have happy moments."

Abled person: "it makes me so sad to see what disabled people go through :(. You used to love rock climbing and running, i would love to see you move around more again."

This statement is putting more value on the disabled persons abled past, and ignoring their life as a whole.

4. Do not avoid speaking to disabled people because it hurts to see your loved one disabled.

For example: my grandmother avoids conversations with me because it hurts her to see me in pain. While she has good intentions it leaves me being unable to be close to her. This is very isolating to the disabled.

5. Do not stop inviting your disabled friend/loved one out even if they are never well enough to attend. Unless we specifically ask you to stop asking if we can go out, good chances are we want to know you still care because again, disability is very isolating.

6. When a disabled person says certain things in their health have gotten better or worse, do not challenge this because you don't see a difference.

For example:

Disabled person: "yeah things are getting a little better"

Abled person sees disabled person using their wheelchair like usual: "i thought you said you were getting better?"

Better and worse are usually small changes only the disabled experience, its not like abled people healing from a broken arm. Better to a disabled person could mean they can stand for 10 more minutes.

7. Do not expect disabled people to ever be abled again, and again, do not put more value on an abled life.

For example:

Disabled person:"I have been using a wheelchair for 2 years."

Abled person: "oh you're young, im sure you'll be walking around in no time!"

This statement invalidates and ignores the disabled persons current life by hoping they get a more abled bodied life. Its fine to hope disabled people get better, but you don't get to decide what better looks like.

Hope this helps, stay punk.

#cripple punk #ablism #physical disability #disability

[steddieas-shegoes]

It’s been done in every which way but Eddie being in an accident of some kind that leaves him paralyzed, but his doctors believe he could walk again with intense physical therapy

He’s stubborn and absolutely hasn’t dealt with any of the trauma of the accident and takes it out on his physical therapist, Steve, who is used to patients being pretty angry about their situation

He always meets Eddie where he is though, tries to keep a smile on his face and joke when appropriate and even shares his cookies from his lunchbox with him

Eventually, Eddie starts making some progress, but instead of being happy about it, he panics and cancels all his PT appointments for the week

Steve tries calling, texting, emailing, doing everything he can to encourage him to keep going, but it all goes unanswered until Gareth, one of Eddie’s closest friends, calls him on Eddie’s phone

He’s depressed and he won’t get out of bed, he’s given up. He’s tired of being in pain and having to try to so hard just to move his damn legs a little

Steve isn’t usually this personal with clients, and tells Gareth he can’t discuss anything medical with him due to patient confidentiality, but insists he should try to drag him to the office the next day before it opens

And somehow, probably through guilt, Gareth manages to wheel a very sullen and grumpy Eddie into the side door entrance to the office at seven in the morning

Steve tells him to come back in an hour to pick him up and Eddie ignores the goodbye Gareth says to him

And Steve pretends nothing is wrong at all, goes through the usual temperature and blood pressure check, asks how he’s feeling and gets a grunt in response, asks if there’s any pain and gets an eye roll

But Eddie met his match in Steve because Steve then pushes him to the center of the workout room, where a large mat is out and a walker is set to the side

“What’s that?”

“Your walker.”

“I don’t need one seeing as I can’t fucking walk.”

“You are today.”

And Steve knows he’s pushing and he hates being pushy

But he knows what his clients are capable of, and he knows without a single doubt in his mind that Eddie is ready to use the walker for five to ten minute increments. He has the leg strength and the stubbornness, he just needs the belief in himself

“Do you want me to hurt myself worse?”

“Of course not. And if you get tired, the seat on the walker is right there. But you can walk and you will walk.”

“And if I call Gareth to come get me right now?”

“Then I don’t believe my services are of value to you anymore and I’ll wish you the best.”

It pained Steve to say it because he knew he was fucking good at what he did, maybe the best in town. His clients often had to wait for his availability to open for weeks or months at a time because of how many people were referred to him

But he said the right thing because Eddie huffed, groaned, and cursed under his breath before wheeling himself to the edge of the mat to hold onto the walker

He pulled himself up

His legs were shaking from not being used for the last few days more than the bare minimum, but his determination was clear

Steve slowly pulled the chair away as Eddie unlocked the brakes of the walker and glared at Steve as he took one step, then two

Sure, he was relying pretty heavily on the walker, maybe more than Steve would’ve liked to see, but he was moving

He made it across the mat and then locked the brakes, sat down on the pad on the walker, and gave a sarcastic grin to Steve

“Happy?”

“Are you?”

And maybe Eddie wasn’t ready to be asked that because he was suddenly sobbing, covering his face as tears flowed down his cheeks

Steve gave him a few seconds before moving to kneel in front of him, pulling his hands away

“You deserve to have your life back, Eddie. You’ve been lucky to have the chance to walk again. Let’s not waste it, okay?”

Eddie spent the rest of the session walking across the mat and taking breaks every two minutes or so

It was better than Steve even expected, but he reminded Eddie not to do too much at once

Eddie didn’t miss any more appointments with Steve, and every appointment, he seemed to be more charming and flirty, more like “the old Eddie” according to Gareth, who drove him most days

Steve never admitted it out loud, but he knew what he felt for Eddie was different from other clients. It felt more personal, and it felt like it could be more someday

When Eddie graduated to a cane, Steve’s services were officially no longer needed

And Eddie decided that he should probably take Steve out on a date

“Since I can walk and hold your hand now,” he winked.

Steve should say no, but he doesn’t

Because holding Eddie’s hand feels even more right as his boyfriend than it did as his physical therapist

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #headcanon #physical therapist Steve #idk going through my notes on things I’ll never have time to actually write #but maybe someone else does #I’m literally ignoring work so hard right now #I’m just tired!!!! #im just a girl who doesn’t wanna work anymore!!!! #cw: injury #cw: mention of accident

[comradekatara]

Your atla analysis is the best so I wanted to ask your opinion on something I've found the fandom fairly divided on - what did you think of Azula's ending within the show proper? Unnecessarily cruel or a necessary tragedy? Would you say that her mental breakdown was too conveniently brought about in order to 'nerf' her for the final agni kai? Also, do you think it was 'right' for Zuko to have fought with his sister at all or would it have been better for him to seek a more humane way to end the cycle of violence?

okay so im saying this as someone who loves azula to death like she has always been one of my absolute favorite characters ever since i was a kid and i’ve always vastly preferred her to zuko and found her to be extremely compelling and eminently sympathetic. i am saying this now before the azula stans come for me. i believe in their beliefs. but i also think her downfall is perfectly executed, and putting aside all the bullshit with the comics and whatever else, it’s a really powerful conclusion to her arc. obviously that isn’t to say that she wouldn’t continue to grow and develop in a postcanon scenario (i have a whole recovery arc for her mapped out in my head, like i do believe in her Healing Journey) but from a narrative perspective, her telos is in fact very thematically satisfying.

no, she wasn’t nerfed so that they could beat her in a fight. the fact that she falls apart is what makes them feel that they can confidently take her on (although i do think in a fair fight katara could win anyway), but the whole point is that it’s not about winning or losing in combat. the whole point is that zuko and azula being pitted against each other in this gratuitous ritual of violence as the culmination of their arcs is fundamentally tragic. yes it’s a bad decision to fight her, and zuko should have chosen another path, but the whole point is that he’s flawed and can only subscribe to the logic he has spent his whole life internalizing through violence and abuse.

that’s why aang’s fight against ozai, while tragic in its own way, is also a triumph for the way in which his ideals prevail in the face of genocide, while zuko and azula’s fight is very patently tragic. there is no moment of victory or triumph. even as zuko sacrifices himself in a beautiful mirroring of “the crossroads of destiny” and as katara uses the element of her people combined with techniques across other cultures to use azula’s hubris and ideology of domination against her, it’s presented as moments of personal growth occurring within a very tragic yet inevitable situation. it was inevitable because azula had always been positioned as an extension of her father, and thus to disempower ozai also means disempowering azula, his favorite site of projection, his favorite weapon.

yeah, it does rub me the wrong way when zuko asks katara whether she’d like to help him “put azula in her place.” it’s not a kind way to talk about your abused younger sister. but it’s also important to understand that zuko doesn’t really recognize his sister’s pain, despite the fact that they obviously share a father, because he’s always assumed that she was untouchable as their perfect golden child and thus never a victim. and he’s wrong. zuko and katara expect a battle of triumph and glory, noble heroes fighting valiantly so that good may prevail over evil. but as they discover here, even more so than their previous discovery two episodes prior, a battle is not a legendary event filled with bombast and beauty until after it has been historicized. often a war is simply fought between pathetic, desperate people who see no other option but to fight.

aang’s ultimate refusal to fight despite having all the power in the world is what makes him so important as the protagonist. but katara and zuko both share a more simplistic view of morality and what it means to be good. and zuko assumes that by fighting azula, he can only be punching up, because she has always been positioned as his superior, and she (in her own words!) is a “monster.” and then azula loses, and his entire worldview shatters. joking about putting her in her place makes way for the realization that behind all her posturing and lying (to herself more than anyone) and performance and cognitive dissonance, azula has always been broken, perhaps even more than he is.

azula says “im sorry it has to end this way, brother,” to which zuko replies “no you’re not.” but i think azula is truly sorry, because in her ideal world, she wouldn’t be fighting zuko. she doesn’t actually want to kill him, as much as she claims to. she’s already reached the conclusion that zuko will only truly reach once their fight is over. she lacks a support system, and she needs one, desperately. if she could somehow get her family back, do everything differently, less afraid of the consequences, she would. she’s smirking, she sounds almost facetious, but really, she is sorry. as of this moment, she really doesn’t want it to end this way. but zuko cannot accept that, because in his mind, azula is evil. azula has no soul nor feeling. azula always lies.

her breakdown doesn’t come out of nowhere, either. it’s precipitated by everyone she has ever cared about betraying her. first zuko betrays her, then mai, then ty lee, and then ozai — the person she has staked her entire identity to and to whom she has pledged her undying loyalty and obedience, become nothing more than a vessel for his whims — discards her because she had the audacity to care about someone other than him. what i don’t think zuko realizes, and perhaps will never realize, is that azula betrayed ozai by bringing zuko back home. he was not supposed to be brought back with honor and with glory. azula specifically orchestrated the fight in the catacombs to motivate him to join her, and it’s not because she’s some cruel sadistic monster who wanted to separate a poor innocent soft uwu bean from his loving uncle, it’s because she genuinely believes that she’s doing what’s best for him. she believes that their uncle is a traitor and a bad influence, and she believes that bringing zuko home with his honor “restored” is an act of love. to her it is.

yes, she claims that she was actually just manipulating him so that she wouldn’t have to take the fall if the avatar was actually alive, but also, she’s clearly just covering her own ass. she didn’t know about the spirit water, and only started improvising when zuko started showing hesitation. but even if she was only using zuko, then that was an insane risk to take, because either way she was lying directly to ozai’s face. and zuko admits it to ozai while simultaneously committing treason, so of course ozai would blame azula, his perfect golden child who tried to violate his decree by bringing zuko back home a prisoner at best and dead at worst, and instead found a way to restore his princehood with glory.

we only see ozai dismissing and discarding azula in the finale, but it’s clearly a tension that’s been bubbling since the day of black sun. and we know this because we do see azula falling apart before the finale. in “the boiling rock” she is betrayed by her only friends. in “the southern raiders” we see that this has taken a toll on her, that she is already somewhat unhinged. she and zuko tie in a one on one fight for the first time. and she takes down her hair as she uses her hairpin to secure herself against the edge of a cliff. unlike zuko, who is helped by his friends and allies, who has a support system. it’s a very precarious position; she’s literally on a cliff’s edge, alone, her hair down signifying her unraveling mental state. azula having her hair down signals to us an audience that she is in a position of vulnerability. she is able to mask this terrifying moment wherein she nearly plummets to her death with a triumphant smirk, but it should be evident to us all that her security is fragile here.

and the thing is, even though she’s always masked it with a smirk and perfect poise, her security has always been fragile. azula has never been safe. azula’s breakdown is simply the culmination of her realization that no matter how hard she tries, she will never be ozai’s perfect weapon, because she is a human being. she is a child, no less. and there is no one in her entire life who loves her for nothing. zuko has iroh, who affirms to him that he could never be angry with zuko, that all he wants is simply what is best for zuko. but azula doesn’t have unconditional support in her life. she doesn’t even have support.

everyone she ever thought she could trust has betrayed her, and so she yells that trust is for fools. because she feels like a fool. of course fear is the only way; it’s what kept her in line all these years. azula is someone who is ruled by fear, and who is broken by the recognition that fear isn’t enough. her downfall is necessarily tragic because her worldview is wrong. the imperialist logic of terror as a tool for domination is her own undoing, just as ozai’s undoing is losing the weapon he has staked his national identity to. it’s a battle of ideals. aang v ozai: pacifism v imperialism. katara and zuko v azula: love and support v fear and isolation.

zuko is unfair to azula, it’s true. he tries to fight her even as he can clearly recognize that “she’s slipping.” instead of trying to help his little sister, he uses that weakness to his advantage, tries to exploit her pain so that he can finally, for the first time ever, beat her in a fight. it’s cruel, but it’s also how siblings act. especially considering the conditions under which they were raised, and how zuko has always viewed her. and in zuko’s defense, she has tried to kill him multiple times lately, both in “the boiling rock” and in “the southern raiders.” zuko is someone who gets fixated on a goal and blocks out everything else, including recognition of his surroundings or empathy for others. so of course when he’s promised to put azula in her place he’s going to exploit her weaknesses to do so. after all, isn’t exploiting his weaknesses exactly what azula does best? so he allows himself to stoop to her level, and in fact only redeems himself through his sacrifice for katara. but it is when azula is chained to the grate and zuko and katara, leaning on each other, look down and observe the sheer extent on her pain, that zuko realizes that “putting azula in her place” isn’t actually a victory. it feels really, really bad, actually.

they’re in a similar position as they were when they faced yon rha. and now it is zuko’s turn to understand that he is not a storybook hero triumphing over evil, but rather a human being, facing another human being, in a conflict that is larger than themselves. to “put someone in their place” is to imply a logic of domination, of inherent superiority, that someone has stepped out of line and must be reordered neatly into the hierarchy. but aang disputes the notion, ozai’s notion, that humanity can be classified along these lines, that there exists an ontological superiority among some and not others. so operation: putting azula in her place was always going to be flawed, even if she was performing competency the way she always does, because they’re nonetheless subscribing to her logic.

of course they should be helping azula, of course they should be reaching out to abuse victims through support instead of more violence. but first they must recognize her victimhood. first they must come to understand that they didn’t get lucky, and they didn’t dominate her because they are more “powerful,” that they weren’t “putting her in her place.” they must understand that they are not heroes fighting villains in a glorious trial by combat. that the logic of the agni kai is flawed. that they are all victims. that they are all just scared, hurt children who are still grieving their mothers.

#update: ok i readmored it 👍🏼 #azula #analysis #zuko #katara #ozai #azula&zuko #azula&ozai #asks #malatilata #ugh azula is such a beautiful character….. i love her sm #her arc is so beautifully perfectly tragic #just thinking abt the mirror scene gets me sooo . distraught #this was supposed to be like 2 paragraphs lol #as is always the way . with me..

[bruisedboys]

Eddie loves his shy girl so much, he’ll always call her “my girl” or “the wife” “the mrs” around others just to watch how red she gets 🥹🥹 but soon he finds that calling her the wife feels natural and right, he realizes she’s the only girl he ever wants

he totally does omg. bro def calls you his wife with absolutely no shame. thank u for the ask angel!!

summary: eddie calls shy!you a lot of names. all of them make you flustered beyond belief

shy!fem!reader 1k words

Steve’s invited you all to drinks to celebrate him and Robin finally copping a job that isn’t slinging ice cream or sitting behind a video store counter all day. Eddie’s helping you pick out an outfit. It’s taking longer than you’d expected. Something about posing for Eddie makes you so nervous you can barely walk.

“Are you done yet?” Eddie’s voice on the other side of the door is far from impatient, even though it should be by now.

You grumble something incoherent instead of answering. Eddie heard you and laughs.

“Y/N,” he says seriously. The effect is ruined because you can hear his smile in the way he says your name. “We’re gonna be late, baby. Come out and show me the dress. I bet this is the one.”

You stare at yourself in the mirror for a few seconds. It is a nice dress. It’s a good length and makes your chest look nice, the colour looks pretty on your skin. Still, you’re embarrassed. You don’t like dressing up. It feels attention-seeking.

You scrub your face with both hands and take a big breath. “Alright, fine.”

You turn away from the mirror before you can stop yourself and yank the bathroom door open. Eddie’s waiting for you on your bed, sitting pretty, if a little slouched. He has bad posture. But his back goes rigid when he sees you — he sits up straight and lets his jaw drop.

“Babe,” he half-whispers, totally in awe, his eyes blown wide. He’s definitely laying it on thick but you can sense the genuineness underneath it all. His eyes traverse a path down your body and back up again, leaving your skin burning. And he hasn’t even touched you yet. “Baby. Honey. Darling. You look amazing.”

You flush all over despite yourself. “Eddie,” you say, chiding.

Eddie pretends to look offended. “What?” He leaps off the bed and gets one hand around your waist, the fabric of your dress shushing under his touch. “I’m serious, Y/N. You’re a real stunner, you know that?”

His other hand finds your elbow and pushes all the way up to your bicep, his fingers pressing into your skin. You burn like a furnace where he touches you. You knew this part was coming.

“Thank you, Eddie,” you say, genuine underneath all the shyness.

Eddie looks like he’s about to say something more but you’re saved from his doting by the phone next to your bed ringing loudly. You make to get it but Eddie beats you to it.

“Hello?” He says into the phone, sounding half-annoyed. “Oh. Hi, Steve. Yeah, no, we’re coming. The Mrs is just getting ready.” A pause in which Eddie meets your eye and winks. You flush even worse than you already were. Eddie goes back to talking to Steve. “Uh-huh. Yeah, we’ll be there in ten. Bye, Harrington.”

Eddie puts the phone back and you try to compose yourself. The Mrs, he’d called you. You feel like you could die.

Meanwhile Eddie’s grabbing his jacket from the bedpost and shrugging it on. “He’s badgering us about being late,” he says, pushing his arms through the sleeves. “We better get going, dove.” He looks up at you, half in his jacket. “Do you need me to carry anything for you?”

My heart? You think. Then maybe your chest wouldn’t hurt so much. You shake your head.

“No, um. That’s okay.” You push your hair behind your ears and try not to show how much he’s undone you with his antics. “I’ll just grab my purse.”

Eddie smiles at you. “Okay. I’ll meet you in the car?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

Ten minutes later you’ve arrived at the bar and Eddie’s leading you inside with a hand at the small of your back. He smells good, like the cologne you’d bought him forever ago that he wears basically every day.

You step inside the semi-crowded bar and Eddie spots your friend group before you do.

“They’re over there, by the window,” he says, pointing. “C’mon.”

He takes your hand and pulls you in the direction of your friends. You let him guide you and he pleases, his hand a warm weight in yours. You stare at the back of his head until you arrive at the table. Steve, Robin, Nancy and Jonathan are all here.

“Munson!” Robin cheers. Your eyes zero in on the drink in her hand and you think she’s maybe already a bit tipsy. Then she spots you and beams. “Y/N!”

You smile back. “Hi, Robs. Hi, everyone, sorry we’re late.” You give a sheepish laugh and glance at Eddie. “My fault.”

“It was worth it though, right?” Eddie says enthusiastically, to the group at whole. He throws an arm around your shoulder and jostles you gently. “Doesn’t my girl look great?”

My girl. Your face burns. There’s a chorus of agreement from around the table — it makes you feel better but not better enough that you’re not still flushing furiously.

“Eddie,” you mumble, avoiding everyone’s eyes and staring at the tabletop instead. You elbow him in the side, too gentle for what you feel he deserves.

Eddie laughs loudly. “What?” He asks, even though he knows exactly what.

You huff and wish the floor would swallow you up. When it doesn’t, you let Eddie pull you into the booth next to Robin. It’s a tight squeeze and Eddie’s thigh presses into yours, his jeans warm and rough on your skin where your dress rides up your thighs.

You think Eddie notices this too because he lets his hand fall to your lap instead of his own, spreading his hand over your thigh, his fingers grazing your bare skin. He squeezes you and you try not to show how much he affects you.

“Drinks?” He asks you, like everything is completely normal and you’re not a nervous, flustered wreck right now.

“Okay,” you say, unable to get more than one word out.

Eddie grins wolfishly. You think he’s probably planning on being like this all night. You don’t mind as much as you should.

-

“Okay,” you say, unable to get more than one word out.

Eddie grins wolfishly. You think he’s probably planning on being like this all night. You don’t mind as much as you should.

-

#★ mal writes! #ღ eds #eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x shy!reader fluff #eddie munson x shy!reader #eddie munson blurbs #eddie munson drabbles #✉️

[lazycats-stuff]

What about Batfam x male reader where the reader was actually the first child Bruce adopted and he was the practice child. He hated growing io because Bruce had really no idea what to do and then the other kids came along and now Bruce kinda understood what to do. He hates family time because he never felt like family, he was just some doll the others could practice on so later they wouldn't make mistakes. And i imagine at some point they snap. I feel like what if Damian brought over Jon for dinner and Jon was like "oh I thought Dick's the oldest, you never told me about (reader)" and reader just slams down their fist and goes to their room. At this point the rest of the family try to comfort them but the reader only screams about how they never were a son or bother, they were only a practice doll for them to use and then throw away

This has angst written all over it... Ah. Angst train it seems... Also, I think I changed the end a bit, but that's fine...

Summary: (Y/N) was nothing but a test child for Bruce. He finally lets them have it

Warnings: angst, resentment, author sucks at angst, but hey, I tried, yelling, mentions of anxiety, the fam is trying, (Y/N) is mad beyond belief, implications of child neglect... If you can call it child neglect.

(Y/N) (L/N) was the oldest member of the Wayne family and the first child that Bruce had adopted. (Y/N) didn't have a good life at all before he met Bruce. (Y/N) could also argue that Bruce didn't treat him well as well, since being emotionally unavailable is not a good trait to have when you have children.

As the years went by, he hated growing up in the manor and with Bruce. He had food, a roof over his head and some sort of education. But that wasn't enough. The feeling of resentment that (Y/N) had has only grown as the years went by.

The feeling of being a test to Bruce, to see what he need to improve made his blood boil. He was a test pancake for Bruce and some sort of feedback to Bruce. It made (Y/N) mad beyond. Bruce could have gotten his shit straight when he started to have him as his legal child.

(Y/N) wished that he could forget everything about Bruce. About the family too. Even before Dick came, resentment building up in him nearly exploded. Looking back, he should have exploded on Bruce and Dick... Maybe even punch them. Maybe he should have done it.

When Dick came, (Y/N) saw signs that Bruce was improving, but he didn't show that to (Y/N). Years went by and Damian came. To say that Damian pretended that (Y/N) didn't exist is an understatement. (Y/N) tried to get closer to Damian, but Damian always pushed him away. (Y/N) took the signs and gave up, sadness and anger boiling inside of him. But he did observe Damian and Dick. In matter of a few days, they were close.

Dick did it without even trying.

So, (Y/N) has decided to alienate himself from the family, at least until he gets enough money to leave. Thankfully, the resentment towards Bruce and the rest of the family made him even put everything he had in school, even though no one cared about it. He had straight As and he was on his way to go to college that was far away from here. He knows that he can do it.

Even as Tim and Jason came, (Y/N) tried to be close to them, but none of them cared. None. (Y/N)'s solace became his own room and would avoid the family at all costs until it was time to eat where he had to step out. That only solidified the fact that he was going to leave as soon as possible.

Either way, he just had to alienate himself and move out. Then, everyone in the house would be happy.

However, everything would turn on its head when Damian would bring his boyfriend Jon over to meet the family and by default (Y/N). If only (Y/N) knew what would happen.

Dinner rolled around and came down to eat. He didn't expect to see Jon, but was nice to introduce himself to Jon, trying to be nice and just get this stupid dinner over with. He put some food on his plate and just ate in silence while everyone else talked.

He listened to bits and pieces and just stayed silent. He finished his plate quickly and pushed it away and sipped at his water, just being polite and getting ready to leave back at his room.

" Damian, you didn't tell me anything about (Y/N)... I thought that Dick was oldest of the brothers. " Jon said and (Y/N) froze.

Damian didn't tell Jon about him...

(Y/N)'s anger boiled over and he slammed his fist into the table before standing up quickly, knocking the chair over. Everyone got startled at the actions and watched in silence as (Y/N) left the dining room.

After a few seconds they all jumped into action, trying to stop (Y/N) to comfort him. (Y/N) slammed the door of his room shut, locking to make sure no one could enter, before he broke down on his bed. He hugged his pillow and sobbed into it.

It shouldn't hurt like this. He should have been stronger than this. Not cry over them.

" (Y/N), please open the door. " Bruce said through the door.

" Please, we just want to talk. " Dick added and (Y/N) snapped at that, anger boiling over once again.

" Talk?! TALK?! Stop acting like you care! " (Y/N) yelled at the top of his lungs.

" We do care. " Jason started.

" You don't give a single flying damn about me! I was never a son or a brother to anyone! I was only a test toy to Bruce so he could see what he could fucking improve! I was never a fucking brother either! Damian fucking proved it! " (Y/N) yelled at the top of his lungs, tears streaming down his face.

Everyone stayed silent and (Y/N) sobbed his heart out. Damian swallowed hardly, realizing what he did and how that hurt (Y/N) deeply. Maybe he shouldn't have...

Everyone glanced at each other. They stayed silent as they listened to (Y/N)'s sobs. Just how much pain did they brought up onto him?

" (Y/N), look- " Bruce started and (Y/N) screamed again.

" Don't you dare care right now! I'm moving out in a few days anyway and I don't need your pity or apology! " (Y/N) yelled, trying to wipe the never ending stream of tears.

" Moving out?! " Bruce yelled, eyes wide in shock. He know he has no right to tell (Y/N) what to do, but something flared up in Bruce. " No, you're not moving out! You are going to stay put because we have to solve this problem! "

" Are you shitting me Bruce?! Work things out?! "

" I'm not shitting you! I have to make things right with you! You are my son too! " Bruce yelled through the door.

" I don't give a single damn about any of you! "

Bruce took a deep breath, trying not to explode. He knows he has no right to be angry, but (Y/N) was still his son. " (Y/N), I am your dad and we will solve this problem. "

" We won't solves shit Bruce! "

" (Y/N), please, " Tim started, but (Y/N) cut him off. " Shut up Tim! "

Tim bit the inside of his cheek and stepped back.

" (Y/N), " Jason started, " You need to calm down, you'll give yourself a heart attack. "

(Y/N) wanted to scream even more, but he felt like he was going to die from this situation.

" Shut up, all of you! "

Now Dick started. " (Y/N), we may have been bad brothers- "

" May have?! You were- No, you are the worst brothers! " (Y/N) yelled and clenched his fists as he started facing around the room.

Dick sighed and stepped back. At the moment, everyone knew that (Y/N) talking to them without yelling at them and more importantly, he needed to calm down first.

But with how much anger and resentment there is, it is going to take a while.

" Lets leave (Y/N) alone for a while. He needs to be alone for now. " Bruce said and gently moved everyone away from (Y/N)'s doors, who was inside, trying to breathe more normally. He felt like he was going to jump out of his skin in the next few moments. He calmed down after a while, but he was still anxious beyond belief.

Unfortunately, the threat of moving out is just a threat and not a promise. (Y/N) sighed as he sat down on his bed. It was a stupid move to say that while he didn't have everything secure yet. Stupid.

(Y/N) went to the bathroom and washed his face and drank some water, to soothe his soon to be sore throat. It won't be nice to talk in a few hours.

Either way, it's better than leaving this room in order to face his siblings and dad. No, they are just roommates here, until (Y/N) can move out and just finally cut them out of his life.

#dc comics #dc x male reader #x male reader #batfamily #bruce wayne x male reader #batman x male reader #jason todd x male reader #red hood x male reader #dick grayson x male reader #nightwing x male reader #tim drake x male reader #red robin x male reader #damian wayne x male reader #robin x male reader

[suiana]

yandere! villain x gn! villain reader x yandere! hero part 2

"I don't want to remember anymore."

"It hurts so much."

The villain rubs your back, crouching beside you as you sob into your palms. He stays silent, allowing you to wallow in misery as he stays beside you, a sign of comfort.

Contrary to popular belief, the villain was much more sympathetic than the world class hero who was once your boyfriend. It was a sad situation. Because who would've guessed that your boyfriend whom you loved with all of your heart would just give you away like that?

Sure your relationship was falling apart but he had claimed that he loved you! And he wasn't one to lie, no, not at all! He had always kept his promises! So why would he break one as important as his love for you?

Were those 'I love you's' nothing more than lip service? What about all those times he smiled so sweetly at you that you felt you could just die? Was that nothing more than an act?

It can't be. You refuse to believe it.

"He's such an asshole... I loved him-! I truly did!"

You continued to weep into your palms as the villain remains silent. Did this make him uncomfortable? You sniffled, rubbing away your tears as you turned away from the villain, murmuring apology after apology as you tried to calm yourself down.

You didn't want to burden him after all. Not when he had graciously taken you in, shown you more love than your ex boyfriend ever did and practically spoiled you with attention and riches! And he wasn't even your boyfriend!

Yeah he might've be been the reason why your boyfriend gave you up but still! Your boyfriend didn't even make any signs of trying to keep you with him!

You still couldn't understand why he did what he did. And it still hurts you till this day, a month after his betrayal. Your eyes began to sting once more, tears pricking as the villain sighs and kneels down in front of you. You looked up at him, tears rolling down your stained cheeks as he beckoned for you to use him as comfort to which you gladly accepted.

"I want to forget... Forget everything he did... Oh... It hurts so much! My heart is bleeding!"

You wept into his chest, temporarily ignoring the fact that you're staining his shirt with tears and snot. But it's not like the villain minded. For he merely caressed your head, gently soothing you as he looks at you like you're the only thing in the world.

"Then... I'll help you forget."

The villain mumbles into your neck, wrapping his arms around your waist. He gently rubs his hands on your sides, the heat of his body distracting you momentarily as your breath hitches.

He nibbles on your earlobe as your heart races, flustered at his intimate touches and the tone of his voice. The rich tone, the slight hint of seduction... Was he implying that he sleep with you to forget?

"...Such a pretty thing like yourself... Should never be crying over a man like him."

Your blush only grows as he stares into your eyes, a small smile playing on his lips as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. Yes... You didn't need the hero anymore. Not when you had this man here with you. Someone who would actually appreciate you and your efforts.

And you just knew that he was being genuine with his feelings.

How? It was quite simple, really. Would any other man build statues of you? Offer to blow up the world just to see you happy? Or give you the right to end his life whenever you felt like he was being too rude to you?

The fact that he never forced you to reciprocate either was something you really appreciated. I mean, he was a villain! You'd expect him to force you to love him after his devotion... But he never did anything like that.

And it causes your heart to flutter. To flutter in a way that it never did when you were with the hero. So, perhaps it was time to repay the villain for everything he's done for you? It's fine if he's obsessed. At least he loves you.

But it turns out you two were both thinking very different things.

"My dear I meant that I can alter your memory... Though if you'd prefer we do that... I'm not opposed to it~"

The attractive villain chuckles as you stare at him wide-eyed. You quickly button back your shirt as you hide your face in his chest. Ah! What a pervert you were... Don't worry, he loves it <3

"I love you darling ♡"

You soon fell asleep. And when you awoke, you were in the villain's lap, your head against his chest as he reads a book. Why were your eyes so tired..? Were you crying? Why?

"...My dear, why was I-"

"We watched a sad movie together. It's okay if you forgot, I'll be here to remind you."

Ah, so that's why. You nodded, looking up at your lover with delighted eyes as you kissed his cheek. Hm... Now that you woke up, you were in the mood for some destruction!

So that's what you two did. And what better place to destroy than your hometown? And so, the two of you stood in the middle of a destroyed city, holding hands and enjoying as it went up in flames.

A familiar man, aka the hero, stares at you both with wide eyes, running after you and your beloved villain as you two laugh at the destruction of your hometown. This city that you've once considered home... Yes, you were currently destroying it. Why? Because why not?

It betrayed you. Hurt you beyond imagination! Your parents never believed in you. Nor did the neighbours or anyone else, really! Calling you names, berating you... And more importantly, the stupid hero who refused to save you! Damn him!

It was a few years back if you weren't wrong. There was a villain attacking the shop you shopping at and you were trapped under some debris. You vividly remember the way he smiled at you, thinking you were saved, you outstretched your hand, whispering words of praise to him. But your hopes were crushed as he merely turned away, refusing to help you out. That was your last straw. the final thing that made you snap.

So you left, turning to a life of crime and villainy as your partner in crime helped you with everything. He was your ride or die, the one who helped you out in everything, he was all you needed.

After all, he took you in when no one else wanted to. Taught you all there was to being a villain, comforted you when no one else wanted to... To think that a villain would be more compassionate than a hero.

You grit your teeth as your hate for heroes grew exponentially, especially one particular male one. To call yourself a hero, you were supposed to help everyone, to be the bringer of justice. Yet why did he not do any of that for you?

You turned your head to face the hero as he approached you with soft steps. That look... Was he pitying you? You glared at him, frowning as he stammered on his words.

"y/n-! what are you-"

"And... who are you? To call me by that name, hm?"

You relished in the way his eyes widened, the way his jaw drops ever so slightly. Yes... That look! Fall into the pit of endless despair! Look at what he did to you! Regret it all!

You couldn't help but let out a chuckle as he fell to his knees, eyes shaking as he got on his knees and crawled to you. To think that the hero who refused to help you would be on his knees begging for your forgiveness. Ah, the feeling was just so satisfying~!

"You... You don't remember?"

You laughed.

"Remember? Of course I do. You left me to die."

His mouth went dry as he looked away from your eyes. Your eyes rolled, annoyed at his hypocrisy as you began to walk away to your lover. He had a smug look on his features as he welcomed yiu

"Goodbye hero. May the next time we meet be at your funeral."

And so the both of you left. Surprisingly enough, the hero just watched in guilty silence as he did nothing to stop you or the villain. Only observed quietly as the villain held a satisfied look on his features. Tears of pain and regret began to drop from him as your figure grew smaller, and smaller, until you were gone from view.

Officially disappearing from his life.

And it was all his fault.

taglist:

@yandere-city

@ambievert

@monsterlife123

@violetvase

@toji-whore

@cu1tvenus

@shxxaiis

@goaudduck

@yevene

@97hellgirl666

@cleaningfairylevi

#tw yandere #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere drabbles #yandere scenarios #yandere male #male yandere #yandere imagines #yandere villain #yandere villain x reader #yandere hero #yandere hero x reader #gn reader #villain reader #suiana rambling #suiana brainrotting

[mindfulstudyquest]

“ dopamine detox ,, and why you should delete all your social media right now

"just five more minutes" and then you end up scrolling on instagram or tiktok for hours. i know that feeling. even if you know rationally that focusing on the really important things ( such as studying, working, learning from books or whatever ) is much healthier for you and your future, you can't help it.

you know that start studying for the exam you have next week will benefit you much more in the long run, but you still prefer watching tiktoks and scrolling on instagram. you could say that is pretty obvious: one activity is easy, and doesn't require much effort, whereas the other one is difficult and implies that you are focused.

but it's actually like this? so then why some people manage to be consistent in studying, or working, or exercising? they simply just have more motivation than you? and how can you start having the same motivation as them?

to answer this question, we have to take a look to a very important molecule produced by our brain: dopamine.

dopamine is often considered a pleasure molecule, but it's a false belief. dopamine is actually the molecule that makes us desire things, and it's that desire that gives us the motivation to complete every kind of task. for example, your brain doesn't release dopamine while you're eating a cheesburger, it releases it while you're going to mcdonald's to buy it, because you anticipate that the food will make you feel good, even if it actually makes you feel worse.

to your brain, it doesn't matter if the high-dopamine-activity is damaging to you.

your brain organizes priorities based off how much dopamine is expecting to get:

if an activity releases too little dopamine, you won't have the motivation to accomplish it.

if an activity releases a lot of dopamine you'll be motivated to do it, and repeat it over and over

so, which activities releases dopamine? basically, any activity where you can get an immediate potential reward releases an high amount of dopamine. but if you know that there's not an immediate reward invoved ( such as in studying, where the reward is in the long run ) your brain will not expect to release much of it and you'll be less motivated to do that task.

nearly everything releases some amount of dopamine, even drinking water when you're thirsty, but the highest amount of it is released when you're getting a reward randomly, for example while playing on a slot machine. even if you loose money, you eventually expect to get a bigger reward.

therefore it is not so surprising that the most additive social networks ( tiktok, instagram, pinterest ) are designed as slot machines. you don't know what the next post or video will be, but you expect something great, so your brain releases a large amount of dopamine.

in today's society our brains are overloaded with stimuli that induce an unnatural production of dopamine ( scrolling on social media, playing video games, watching internet pornograhy, etc. ).

it's frightening that people don't know how harmful this lifestyle is: our bodies have a biological sistem called homeostasis, which means that our bodies keep the internal physical and chemical conditions at a balanced level, whenever an imbalance occurs, our bodies adapt to it, for example, when it's very hot our body temperature rises and we start sweating to cool down.

but homeostasis manifests through tolerance too. for example, someone who hardly ever drinks alchool will be tipsy after one beer, on the other hand, someone who drinks alchool on a regular basis will need two, three, four beers in order to get drunk, because their body has developed a tolerance to it. it's not much different with dopamine.

so if you get used to large amounts of dopamine, you won't be able to do the things that you did before, because they don't produce as much dopamine and it's more difficult to motivate yourself to do them. once your dopamine tolerance gets too high, you are no longer able to enjoy low dopamine activities.

as if you were a drug addict, there's only one way to get out of it: you have to perform a dopamine detox. you have to avoid all high dopamine activities in order to allow your body to adjust to a normal level of dopamine production and start finding motivation again in the things that improve your personal growth.

it's not easy, you will be nervous and frustrated, maybe you won't make it through a full day without social media, but day by day it will get better and better, and eventually you'll be able to appreciate small things again.

imagine that you're eating your favorite food - for example, chocolate cake - every single day. after a while, chocolate cake doesn't taste good as before, even if it's literally the same cake. on the other hand, if you eat it once a month, it will taste great, because it's not something you've gotten used to.

this is exactly what dopamine detox does. be safe guys, and start recovering now.

[ source: https://youtu.be/9QiE-M1LrZk ]

#academia #college #education #note taking #school #student #study aesthetic #study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #studyspo #study notes #university student #architecture student #study tips #studyblr #studyinspo #dopamine #dopamine detox #university life #uni life #university #architecture

[lucyandthepen]

love on the floor - i. | njm

exactly when does vice president na turn from the company’s worst nightmare into your favorite daydream?

pairing: chaebol!na jaemin x secretary fem!reader rating: vaguely M, but will very quickly escalate into a hard R in coming chapters genre: romance, fluff, (eventual) smut (in later chapters), chaebol!au warnings: jaemin isn’t really a total asshole but he isn’t great at the beginning either and i think that should be a warning, there’s probably some language use that deserves a bit of caution i GUESS, but tbh nothing much here because we want to pretend that this is a fic of chaste circumstances and not a lead-up to raunchy, depraved smut  word count: 16.4k

author’s note: first of all, the development of this fic is absolute SHIT because i love context too much and refuse to shut up at the beginning only to get antsy for the ending so if the pace is a little stop and go … it’s because i’m a Fewl !! and i totally own up to that !! and second of all, this is actually just a set-up for about two more shorter (?? what’s shorter) works that i’ve already been wanting to write but felt like i would be remiss in doing so without some kind of build-up to the relationship so :^) here we are ! heavily unbeta'd and miss lucy is a bit rusty but we carry on for the sake of enjoying oneself (and practicing writing once again) muah enjoy!

At least this job gets you free medical. 

Actually, all things considered, this is an excellent job with limitless benefits. You never have to worry about the three-level insurance, you have monthly paid-for visits to the dentist, and you sometimes get to use the company car for personal errands for as long as you meticulously check everyone else’s schedules and butter up the head secretary, Son Seungwan, just enough so that she feels mollified enough to let you have this favor (but not too much to the point that she catches on and gives you a ten minute lecture on the rising prices of gas post-the-turn-of-the-decade). Your rent’s well paid-for, and the apartment you’re staying at is comfortable, albeit a little smaller than most, although that’s just because you prefer spending your money on once-in-a-lifetime type things, like front row seats to a Paul Kim concert. You get 50% discounts at the company cafeteria, which boasts a pretty nice salad bar with more than just perilla leaves as the greens. The bathrooms even have luxury soap installed into the automatic hand dispensers, so you always come out clean and fancy smelling. 

All in all, the job’s pretty perfect, to the point that you don’t think leaving will ever truly be in the cards — except for the fact that you barely see your boss, which, as nice as it sounds on paper, is actually the most stressful part of the position. 

You’ve always been of the opinion that if Vice President Na Jaemin put his mind to something, he’d actually do it very well, but the running issue is that he hardly ever puts his mind to anything, especially when it comes to work. In fact, the only thing he ever seems to take seriously is having eleven hours of uninterrupted sleep, which you personally think is an extremely hard thing to achieve, leading you to the firm belief that if he channeled that energy into something less dead-to-the-world and a little more productive, things would be amazing. 

And maybe things would also be a little less distressing if his family would just accept him for who he is instead of expecting too much (or, actually, anything) from him, but Vice President Na is the only son of the family that owns the largest telecom company in the country, so his parents have a ton of huge expectations for him. His father, in particular, is clearly trying to prepare him to take over the entire business, something that the Vice President clearly isn’t keen on doing, based on the many arguments you’ve had to sit through alongside Head Secretary Son. The result is a lot of tension that’s only exacerbated by the Vice President’s desire to avoid more conflict, which he does by suddenly disappearing from the office for hours — sometimes days — at a time. 

So for as much medical, dental, and reasonably priced caesar salad as you’re getting from this job, you’re not entirely sure how worth it those things all are if they come with the task of you having to sit through twenty minutes of lecturing in place of Vice President Na Jaemin himself. 

“This is the last time,” President Na roars — not necessarily at you, but at you, in your general direction, while you stand helplessly in front of his desk, your hands folded across your lap and your head hung low. You don’t really feel terrified or hurt — more than knowing that the President isn’t shouting at you for your incompetence, you’ve also gotten used to being on the receiving end of these weird, indirect lectures and have thus come to know the exact standard of ‘sorry’ that you have to look for it to be over as quickly as possible. Still, you’re kind of annoyed that this particular spiel is taking up precious minutes from your afternoon break. Then again, you don’t know what you’d expected to begin with when you’d come back from the cafeteria after lunch and found the Vice President’s chair abandoned, leather cold, indicating that he’d been gone for quite a while. It’s about four o’clock now, and he still hasn’t come back, and all your messages to him have gone unread, as you’ve also grown used to. “You tell my no-good son if he isn’t back within the hour, he can live the rest of his life without my last name.”

You’re not sure if the implications of that will really sink into the Vice President’s heart enough to trigger the guilt it’s clearly trying to elicit, but you know better than to voice your opinion. You nod once, then bow at a perfect ninety-degree angle. “Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.”

“Four years of this, and he hasn’t learned a single thing,” the President continues, completely ignoring your useless and vaguely insincere apology. “Where’d he run off to this time?” 

You don’t know. You never really know. Since he actively tries to avoid all work-related things, he also actively tries to avoid you, something he does by never picking up the phone or telling you the details of his daily schedule anyway. You can only share what you do know, which is very little and, therefore, extremely useless, but you try to say it in a way that appears relatively helpful. “His schedule says he was supposed to have lunch with the foreign investors that are trying to connect Prime Video to the Korean market, but it seems he didn’t show up for that.”

Which essentially translates to: you have no clue. Again, all parties in the room — inclusive of Head Secretary Son, who constantly has to bear witness to the many threats Vice President Na receives via you — know this isn’t your fault, but it doesn’t make the vein that’s about to pop out of the President’s temple any less pronounced, nor does it stop you from bowing and apologizing again when he says “get him back in here before five o’clock or tell him he’ll never be able to step foot in this building again!” even though you know that the threat would probably sound more like a gift than anything else to Vice President Na. 

“And you,” the President points a vaguely accusatory finger at you. Your eyes widen slightly in surprise. “If he isn’t back here at that time, you can kiss your job goodbye too. You go ahead and tell him that. Let’s see if Jaemin will finally get off his ass if he knows someone else is going to have to suffer for his behavior.” 

The only person who sees your jaw fall open is Head Secretary Son, who’s now leading you away from the President’s desk and towards the door; the President has taken to staring at this huge family picture of himself, his wife, and the Vice President that’s hanging just behind his executive’s chair, all looking considerably happier than anyone in this situation feels. You hear him mutter something that sounds like “where did I go wrong with you, you punk?” before the door shuts close behind you.

“I’d say he doesn’t mean that, but we don’t actually know to what lengths he’ll go to get the Vice President on board.” Head Secretary Son admits, lifting two fingers to gently shut your mouth, still agape. “If I were you, I’d figure out how to keep him on a leash. The fact that he’s never around is probably ninety-percent of our current problems.”

“I can barely get him to respond to schedule reminders,” you groan; your fingers pinch the bridge of your nose like this will somehow stop the oncoming migraine. “Let alone get him to stay still. I was just about to put in a down payment for a car of my own, too.” 

You’ve never really been considerably attached to this job, mostly because there isn’t much to actually attach yourself to, but if you think about it now, it really is better than most, and this economy isn’t really kind to people who get fired from their jobs. You feel like puking at the thought of losing the free unlimited coffee in the pantry and trading it in for a life behind a convenience store counter, which is probably where you’ll end up, pessimistically speaking.

You excuse yourself from Head Secretary Son, who has the heart to look a little pitying as you trudge towards the elevator. You don’t even know where you’d start looking for the Vice President, especially since he spends quite a lot of his efforts trying to avoid having to communicate with you. You don’t even know what his habits are, which means you can’t make educated guesses on where he might have run off to, so the only route to go is to look in the immediately surrounding area and widening your search diameter as time passes.

Until five o’clock, of course — a deadline that, if unmet, will likely mean you also won’t be returning to the office either. 

You start off at the nearby bookstore, extremely skeptical that the Vice President would ever willingly go to a place that requires more effort even after you make a purchase. As expected, he isn’t there, but he isn’t in the nextdoor candle shop (also unlikely) either, nor do you find him in the hand-cut noodles shop next to that as well. You walk down the entire street for a good twenty minutes, pressing your face against the windows of stores shamelessly, to the ire of many startled and disgruntled staff, trying to look for a familiar head shape in the small crowds in them, but to no avail. Then, you think about calling him again, but when you pat the pockets of your jacket, you realize your phone is still on your desk, where you’d left it when you’d been summoned to see the President. With a loud groan and an annoyed clip clop of your heels as you stamp your feet on the pavement, you walk back to the office. 

In your frenzy to find the Vice President, you’d gone quite a distance, and your shoes simply aren’t made for long, aggravated walks; they start hurting your feet halfway back, and you’re pretty sure you have a blister behind the strap of the left one. Pride would tell you to tough it out, but you’d thrown that out at the thought of losing your job at the expense of a single man, so you don’t even hesitate to take them off and run back to the building. The big digital clock above the elevators says you have ten minutes left to find your boss, and you start thinking about using that time for better things — like packing your stuff up neatly in a box for when you get sacked. 

With the situation seemingly hopeless, you trudge to the first floor cafe, where the return counter has a pitcher of water and a stack of tiny paper cups. They’re tiny tiny, like the size of your thumb, so you have to keep refilling it just to start feeling a little more human. 

You’re on your third refill when you hear a giggle come from across the space. The barista’s just finished laughing at what must have been an extremely hilarious joke, or she might be flirting with whoever’s leaning over the counter to talk to her. A whoever that seems to be the exact same height and build as the elusive Vice President of this company. 

You accidentally toss the paper cup in the plastics bin in your desperation to get moving, worried that if you’re not fast enough, he’ll disappear into thin air again. Luckily, his attention’s completely focused on the barista, so he can’t go anywhere when you finally reach his side and huff, loud enough to interrupt what seems like an intimate-ish conversation between them. 

“Sorry, I was just — oh, it’s you.” The Vice President’s smile fades when he sees it’s you, someone he can’t charm out of what they’re supposed to be doing. You don’t think you’ve ever seen the Vice President smile at you in any capacity, anyway, except for maybe one or two slightly sarcastic smiles that are probably more fit to be classified as grimaces. “What do you want?” 

“I’ve been looking all over for you, sir,” you say, stiffly and a little quietly because you still don’t want to embarrass him in front of the slightly confused barista. “You haven’t answered my texts.”

You don’t have any way to check, but you’re pretty sure this is a safe enough assumption, which is corroborated by the Vice President bringing his phone out and checking the screen lazily before turning it back off. 

“Sorry. I don’t answer unknown numbers.”

You guess it makes sense that he wouldn’t want to save your number when he hates hearing about work, which is all you really try to communicate with him about, but it still stings considering it’s been two years and you’ve been using the same number since high school. It’s fine, you think. You really can’t expect much from him. 

“Well, your father’s been looking for you, too. He wants to meet you.”

“I’ll take a rain check, but thank you.”

“Sir,” your voice quivers with poorly quelled exasperation. “This isn’t an optional thing. This is very serious.” 

“I can see that, Briar Rose,” his eyes are trained towards your shoes, still dangling from your grasp, with a level of unabashed amusement. “Did he summon me from deep within the woods, or is this a new casual Friday look I should get in on?”

When his words are met with a stony silence, he sighs, pushing himself off the counter. His half-finished Americano is collecting a small pool of condensation under it, and you offer him the little handful of tissues you had gotten from the return counter and had originally been planning to use to wipe your tears in case you cried after getting fired so that he doesn’t waste time looking for something to hold his cup. He takes them without even a word of thanks, opting to instead say ‘lead the way, miss.’ You don’t miss the fact that he meets the barista’s eye with a considerably more genuine grin, raising a hand in goodbye to her before he strides ahead — before you even get a chance to lead the way at all — towards the elevators with you, hobbling on one foot to slip your shoe back on, not far behind. 

The President’s office must be sort of soundproof for instances like this. For the first time, you’ve been asked to wait outside with Head Secretary Son as the Vice President gets chewed. It doesn’t matter; you don’t really want to be in the middle of yet another round of shouting that has nothing to do with you in the same afternoon, plus you also know how the conversation usually goes: the President making very agitated threats and talking about his heart condition (even though the medical reports from their private doctor say he’s in perfect health) that the Vice President, who just spends the time looking boredly at his nails, will inevitably trigger. When you press your ear to the door for a minute, you actually hear something like ‘... strike you out of the will so that when you kill me, you won’t get a single won!’, and you can imagine Vice President Na’s exasperated sigh punctuating the statement. 

Ten minutes later, the room has gone quiet, and you step aside just in time for the Vice President to open the door and step out. You don’t even understand how he can look so unaffected after being ripped apart, but you suppose he’s also heard the lecture as many times as you have and is pretty much immune to all the insults. He doesn’t really have to make a show out of not caring, though, with his hands in his pockets and his lips pursed to allow him to whistle idly as he strolls down the hall to his barely used office. He’s been in it so few times that after long, inexplicable vacations, he sometimes forgets how to get there. You’ve always had to walk behind him just in case he gets lost or, worse, tries to make a run for it. You’ve never had to tackle him to the ground reciting the Miranda warnings, or anything, but he has faked left a few times just to give you a mild heart attack for the fun of it all. 

This time, he just walks, not bothering to joke you into trying to create a human wall he could just as easily push away. When he gets to his office, he lazily plops down onto his couch, extracting the Rubik’s cube he’d been working on for a few weeks now from underneath himself and spinning the top layer idly. He’s only ever finished the blue side. 

You just stand there, kind of perplexed and unsure of how to start the conversation. He’s still whistling, and you’re not sure if talking over him will count as interrupting him, which isn’t something you’re supposed to do. Thankfully, he stops after about two minutes of fiddling with the yellow side of the cube, looking up at you with a slightly surprised expression that somehow makes you want to cry. 

“Can I help you with something, Secretary ___________?” 

“Well, I…” You stutter for a bit, unsure of how to politely point out that he should be asking you for help with his job instead of the whole other way around. “Because… I just thought…”

“You can always leave a message with my secretary if you need time to figure it out.” He grins. “Oh, wait a minute.”

“Sir, don’t you think you should… I don’t know. Figure out your schedule, or something? Prepare for… anything?” 

“What’s that smell?” He lifts his nose to the air, suddenly curious, and because he looks so serious, you also start sniffing, but you can’t really smell anything out of the ordinary. “Smells… fresh. Very clean. A little like green tea.”

“Oh.” You awkwardly shift your weight from leg to leg. “I think that’s my perfume, but I don’t see w—”

“You smell very expensive, Secretary _____________.” He sounds genuinely surprised that you do, like he’s somehow saying he hadn’t expected you to have good taste. You have no idea where this conversation is coming from, so you chalk it up to him wanting to derail you from talking about work. “I like it. Very classy. Not too strong.”

“Sir, I don’t think now’s the time to be talking about perfume scents.”

“You’re actually quite pretty.” He sounds genuinely surprised again, but this time, it stings a little more. “I never noticed that before. How come?” 

You want to say that it’s because he spends most of his time and energy playing long-term hide-and-seek with you, but there’s also no polite way of putting that into words; even if there were, with the way you’re now bristling under his gaze, you’re not really sure you’d go the courteous route, anyway. You just decide to ignore the comment and question entirely, which you almost get to do.

“Wouldn’t you like to take a look at some of our upcoming projects? For instance, we’re just about to start negotiating the terms of this new partnership with Huawei —”

“You’re pretty, but you’re also pretty tense.” He cuts you off again, now looking a little dejected at this newfound information. You can’t understand why this disappointment in you actually hurts your feelings a little. “I think the cafe downstairs serves some tea, if that kind of stuff helps you.”

“Sir,” the one syllable is laced with weariness, and you knot  your fingers together in front of your lap. It probably looks polite, but it’s mostly so that you can feel like you have some semblance of control over anything, even if it’s just your own body fighting off the urge to grab him by the collar. “Please. If you could just take a look at your schedule — even just for tomorrow —”

“What’s the point?” His shrug is nonchalant, and he’s turning the cube over in his palm now, more interested in looking at it than witnessing your tired expression. “It’s almost six o’clock. I’ll deal with tomorrow tomorrow, you know what I mean? If my dad finally loses his marbles, I’ll deal with it all then. In fact, I might actually be okay with losing this department if it finally actually gets him off my back. I’ll also deal with that when it happens, probably.” 

Another long, uncomfortable silence blooms as his words sink in; not for the first time today, President Na has threatened the existence of your job, now alongside a good twenty other people’s, all for the sake of snapping some sense into the Vice President. However, like everything else, it seems to just be backfiring; Vice President Na doesn’t seem to care about anyone else in this department, most likely because he’s barely interacted with anyone else. You’re surprised he even remembers your last name, considering he once called the department accountant ‘Heejin’ even though her nametag clearly spelled out ‘Jinhee.’ 

It makes sense that the threat of abolishment means absolutely nothing to him, but it doesn’t make the knowledge of that any less distressing. He watches you curiously as you tug back at your ponytail, like it’ll once again stop the crawling migraine. 

“Sure a cup of chamomile tea isn’t in the cards today? I think I have the company card in here somewhere, although I can’t be sure that it hasn’t been cut off, based on my dad’s last threat—” 

“I’m fine; thank you.” You mumble, checking the clock. He’s wasted what’s left of the hour anyway, and the lack of change in his position just means he’s not going to change his mind for the rest of the time. “At least let me give you tomorrow’s agenda.” 

“Boring, but okay. Give it to me, then.” He yawns to make a point, and you offer him the tablet you tote around with you everywhere you go, just in case Vice President Na finally decides he wants to do his job. To clarify: that’s two whole years of you carrying that heavy thing around, with the Vice President only having touched it a handful of times. You’re mildly shocked that he actually opens it to check, because he barely does even that, but that all goes away when he yawns again, his expression glassy as he scrolls down aimlessly. “This is a lot. Can’t you just clear my schedules tomorrow? Actually, if I can make demands for real, I’d like to clear out my schedule for the rest of the year.” 

He stretches when he stands, ignoring your slightly agog expression as he pats you on the back, smacking his lips sleepily. “Good day’s work, Secretary _____________. Want to grab a beer? Have ourselves a little intra-department party? I’m pretty sure ‘intra’ stands for ‘us two,’ or am I wrong?”

You sincerely hope he doesn’t mean a goodbye party, but with his attitude right now, that might very well be. You shake your head, and he shrugs, like he wasn’t really expecting you to agree in the first place. “No thank you, sir. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

He’s already halfway out the door, waving dismissively with his back turned to you. When you peek out of the space he leaves by opening the door, you can see about half the entire department’s watching, not even bothering to pretend to scurry back to their seats as he saunters out of the office. He calls out to you, his voice ringing clear even though he’s already out of sight. 

“We’ll see about that.” 

You come up with a master plan, but not before you scope potential jobs. 

You actually stayed an hour overtime at your desk looking for positions, but all of them pay lower than average or are about an hour’s commute away from where you live, so none of them seem worth it. The search ends when some people from the department come over to say goodbye and see your computer open to SaramIn, at which point they connect the dots and start to panic about their insurance. You shut your monitor off and spend another useless twenty minutes calming Jinhee, who’d started having a mild panic attack. 

In that time, your resentment builds. Why can’t Vice President Na simply get his act together? You suppose that there’s some indescribable burden to being in his position, but between him, a rich heir who owns two sports cars and lives in a paid-for house, and you, a public-transport-using, pays-by-the-month nine-to-five worker, you can’t really understand why he would be having it worse than everyone else who works under him.  If he worked even just half as hard as everyone else did here, he might scrape by. 

You can’t know if President Na’s anger was only short-lived or if he actually meant to downsize the company by getting rid of your department entirely, but you also know that if he’s serious, then there’s nothing much you can do about it, short of terrorizing the Vice President into stepping into bigger shoes.

So, that becomes your master plan.

It isn’t very refined, mostly because you think about it on the bus home, but the heart and spirit are there, and those are probably the most important things anyway. It’s that heart and spirit that motivate you to get up an hour earlier than you usually do, dressing quickly for the day before taking the company car from your place to downtown Apgujeong. You usually don’t take it on days that Vice President Na doesn’t come into work, which is practically every other day, but this time, you’re determined to see him into the office. The ride with Hyunsung, his official company driver, is quiet, save for the question he asks when you roll up to the Vice President’s driveway. 

“Are you sure about this?” 

“No,” you admit. He’d probably seen you chewing down on your thumb, some of your confidence taking a hit when you belatedly realize you could be shot with a huge privacy lawsuit if this doesn’t go the way you plan. But you do know a lot of secretaries that do the morning calls for their superiors, so this should be fine. Not that you’ve ever heard from those secretaries ever again. 

Vice President Na’s laziness seems to extend to all aspects of his life, including the fact that he doesn’t ever change his door’s passcode; it’s still the same numbers as it had been when he first bought the house a year ago and had you install his lock while he was missing in action from work, yakking it up with some farmers up in the Netherlands. He likes to do that — ‘see the world,’ or whatever, even though his wanderlust makes everyone else’s lives very difficult. At least it makes your life easy now, and you step through the door and walk quietly across his unnecessarily large living room. 

You’ve never been in here exactly, and you only realize very belatedly that this house’s design would be very frustrating for a break-and-enter criminal because nothing seems to be where it’s supposed to be. You learn the owner’s suite is actually on the basement floor, so all the climbing of those slippery stairs was for nothing. 

Vice President Na’s bedroom is bigger than your whole apartment, which also means he has a sizable bed and, thus, is completely out of sight under his gigantic covers. The only indication that he’s even still in there is that they’re rising and falling in a rhythmic pattern. You stand by the edge of the bed, on the side he’s closest to falling off of, clearing your throat at the tuft of hair peeking out from under the comforter. 

“Vice President Na? It’s time to go to work.” 

Your voice has been tempered down by years of this professional work, and this is easily the loudest and most demanding you’ve ever heard it. You’re not even sure you can do it again, but the muffled groan from under the covers is all the motivation you need to try. 

“Sir, you have a ten o’clock meeting with Samsung’s representatives for Apple. President Na also asked that we contact Amazon right away to reschedule the Prime Video deal.” 

“How,” his voice comes out first before he does, squinting up at you, completely disoriented. “The hell did you get in here?” 

“Sir, I’m your secretary.” You sigh, skimming over the fact that you’d walked into his big kitchen twice through two different entryways before coming into his bedroom. “I’m supposed to be able to get in here.”

“Except this is a first.” You think he’s about to get up, but he just shifts his weight, rolling over so he can cocoon himself tighter into his blankets. “Goodnight. There are eggs in the fridge if you’re hungry.”

“I’ve already eaten, like a normal, functioning human being with a very important job that starts precisely at nine o’clock would.” 

“This seems like a very targeted comment, Secretary ____________. I’m not sure I appreciate it.” 

“Since we’re already having this conversation, I’m guessing you’re conscious enough to get dressed.”

To your relief, he actually does throw the covers off of him, leaning up on his elbows. You try not to balk at the fact that he’s shirtless, although you’re also not sure why this should surprise or bother you to begin with. He doesn’t even seem to mind; he just yawns, wide and unashamed, as he looks over at the clock. 

“It’s seven-thirty. This is insanity.”

“No, this is a wake-up call.” You offer him a neatly folded towel that he eyes suspiciously. “We need to get you in the office on time.”

“There’s really no point,” he sighs, scratching his head idly. “It’ll just be another boring day of talking to people I don’t care about. Someone who cares about it should talk to them. You care about it, don’t you?” 

“I won’t talk to them for you, sir.”

“Why not?”

“Because, frankly, I don’t get paid enough to be doing that.” 

He once again stares at the towel like he’s trying to will it to evaporate, but in the end, he only sighs louder and takes it from you, kicking his blankets off completely. You look up at the ceiling, not in prayer but to avoid the more embarrassing fact that he’s only in his boxers after all. Well — it’s embarrassing for you. He doesn’t even seem to care. 

“Something’s different.”

“Usually I don’t wake you up,” you offer the painfully obvious. “Or come here. Or talk to you.”

“Yeah, all that stuff,” he says dismissively, halfway through a yawn. “Did you have a life-changing experience recently?”

“Something like that.”

“Couldn’t it have been one where you decided to leave me alone for good instead?” He grumbles, more to himself instead of to you. It doesn’t matter, anyway; you already see he’s up and fishing socks out of his drawer, so you’re marching out of his room to avoid having to hear more of his complaints (and, quite frankly, to avoid looking at his broad back). 

However, the day thereafter doesn’t go as planned. You thought that waking Vice President Na up for an early day of work might shock him into doing something with the knowledge that it was urgent, but you’re not sure why you didn’t anticipate a scenario in which he’d fall asleep in the car on the way to work and you’d have to shake him into waking in the stuffy parking lot. He spends the rest of the morning out of sorts, ignoring you point blank when you try to brief him on the meeting. The meeting in and of itself doesn’t go any better, with him excusing himself fifteen minutes in by saying the pitch doesn’t seem all too exciting and innovative. You didn’t even know he knew the word innovative and, by the shocked faces of the Samsung people, they were of the same mind. 

By lunch time, you’re more exhausted than you’ve ever been, and a part of you is wondering why you wanted Vice President Na in the office in the first place when you’re already used to the much simpler routine of get up, work, eat lunch, get yelled at, work again. Sometimes, on slow days when Vice President Na is completely out of town for the week and President Na is out of things to yell at you about, you even get to just sit back at your desk and play old crossword puzzles. 

Now, you’re basically handholding him, but the weight that keeps him down is so heavy that you’re being dragged down, too. 

“You mean people do this every single day?” He shuts the folder with a contract that requires his signature that you’d given him just now, not even bothering to peruse the first page, much to your rapidly increasing ire. “This is ridiculous. Working makes no sense.”

“All employees come to work to do that, sir. It’s literally what makes up half their lives.”

“Except it shouldn’t,” he sighs, like this is a true global issue and not a problem of his own making. “Everyone needs to be able to do what they want and live life to the fullest.” 

“Not everyone can,” you point out flatly. “Some people don’t have the luxury of time even for that.”

“Then, they should. The more I’m in this situation, the more it feels like it might be better for everyone to have a little work break for — I don’t know. The next year or so.”

Vice President Na has his arm outstretched, handing the folder back to you. You don’t know if it’s what he says that causes your blood pressure to rise, or if its the completely unconcerned look on his face, or if it’s the fact that he’s holding the folder so lazily that the papers are starting to slip out on your end, requiring you to use two hands to keep them all from falling apart and creating a mess you’ll end up having to clean up anyway. Whatever it is, you snatch the folder from him with a little more aggression than necessary (or that you’d even care to admit). Even though it’s out of place, you can’t help but feel a small sense of triumph at the slight surprise in his eyes. 

“Did I say something wrong?” 

“No, sir.” You pause, mostly because you can tell he doesn’t believe you — Vice President Na is nonchalant, not stupid — and you want to give yourself a little bit of time to grapple with your pride before you admit the truth. “Yes, sir. It isn’t fair to your entire department for you to talk that way.”

“I’m saying the entire department doesn’t have to work this hard. It’s senseless. How are you supposed to live a good life if all you’re doing is sitting behind a desk?”

“Like I said, not everyone has the luxury of living your life. If they want even a little bit of that comfort you enjoy, they have to work very hard for it first.” 

“Then they should at least do something they enjoy. If this department goes down the drain —”

“If this department is abolished,” this is your first time interrupting a superior, and it already makes you want to throw up. “Then people will have a very difficult time finding a job in this market. More than that, a lot of people enjoy working for this company — quite genuinely, in fact. I don’t think it’s right to think that they’ll be happy while they’re jobless and floundering in this economy.”

“So you’re happy like this? You really want this job — this whole working under me situation?” 

“Well…” you trail off, your voice taking on a slightly thoughtful tone. It’s been a relatively long time since you’d entered this job, but you do faintly remember the feeling of excitement at getting this position — the desire to want to learn from the best in this industry, the anticipation of being able to meet and network with interesting and important people. Your first few weeks of work had involved wanting to spend as much time in Vice President Na’s shadow, in case you could pick up some important business tidbits from an entrepreneurial master… until, of course, you realized there wasn’t much you could stand in the shadow of to begin with. “These days, it isn’t ideal. But this job is a really good thing for most of the people who work here.”

“Then it sounds like you have more to gain from me working hard than I do.” 

You can’t contain your disapproving frown, and your voice comes out a little sharper than you intend. “Doesn’t it bother you at all, sir? Knowing almost twenty people could lose their jobs in the blink of an eye? Think about all the people who look up to you and rely on you — they’ll have to suffer because of this. They might never find a job that matches their needs, and a lot of them have families to take care of, too. If you can do something to make sure they have these good lives you keep talking about, why not do it? I know you’re capable of that. You’re capable of doing much more than what you’ve been doing thus far.” 

Vice President Na is quiet for a moment before leans over on his desk, lacing his fingers into a loose combined fist and putting his weight on his forearms. One of his forefingers detangles itself from the pile of digits and curls inwards, beckoning you closer. Your grimace is probably obvious, and you lean in a little warily. He lifts himself off his chair slightly so he can whisper in a low voice, as if you two aren’t the only people in this wide office. 

“If you care about it so much, then ask a little more nicely.” 

Your light breakfast almost makes a reappearance, and you draw back in mild shock. He also leans back, significantly more relaxed than you, looking unperturbed as he settles back against his chair. You two engage in a very uneven staring match, until he gestures for you to proceed, looking expectant. 

“You want me to beg for my job?”

“Not what I meant, but I could accept that,” he hums. “I just think you could throw in a please while you’re guilting your boss, at least.”

Gawking probably doesn’t suit you, but you do it anyway, wondering how you managed to find yourself in this position. This morning, you had been strictly guiding him through what to do, and now you’re paralyzed in front of the Vice President, feeling very foolish for saying so much out of turn. You couldn’t even get through a whole work day before seeing your grand master plan slip down the drain.

But there is, at least, some small comfort in what he said — the part about guilting, which, if you squint hard enough, seems to be implying that this conversation has left him with a small amount of guilt. You don’t think it’s that much, but it’s a miracle he feels it at all, so you take the horribly subtle win and inhale deeply.

“Please, sir.” The words are very thick and reluctant, unsticking from your throat. “This department really needs you.” 

He stares, very unnervingly, without saying anything, but there’s something in his gaze that makes you vaguely certain he’s actually thinking about it. In fact, he actually looks a bit serious, which isn’t anything you’d ever think you’d be able to characterize him by. That impression easily falls apart when he claps his hands, once but very loudly, startling you into jumping a little. 

“Ah, how could I turn down such a nice request?” Vice President Na is grinning from ear to ear, something you’ve never seen him do in the context of the office, much less a few feet away from you. His smile is actually kind of nice, if you don’t think about the fact that it seems to be smug at your expense. “Since you asked, I guess I’ll have to try my best, or whatever it is people do in this damn company. I guess that means you owe me now, Secretary ____________. You’re very welcome.” 

The silence that once again blooms as you stand, motionless, in front of Vice President Na is suddenly interrupted by the sound of chairs scraping back all at once. The floor vibrates a little as the entire department troops out to the elevator area so they can go to lunch. You only watch stupidly as he also stands, shrugging off his jacket and flinging it over the back of his chair. “See you, then.”

“Where are you going, sir?” 

He looks a little surprised that you even ask. “To lunch. Do I have to ask for your permission for that, too?” 

“Are you… coming back?”

“You want to come along with me and make sure I don’t run away?” He smiles even wider, which you didn’t even think was possible. It makes you awkwardly uncomfortable to know he’s taking a lot of pleasure in joking around with you, mostly because you were kind of hoping you’d get him to take things seriously in a serious manner, not in a … whatever this is that’s making you feel like you’ve lost a game manner. 

“A little bit.”

“Ask a little more nicely, then.” 

“Never mind,” you mumble. “Have a good lunch, sir.” 

He snaps his fingers a little comically before turning to the door, flinging it open so he can join the now thinning throng of people leaving the floor. “Thought I almost had you there. Well, if you need me, you know where to find me. Or not.” 

In the end, to your utmost relief, Vice President Na does, in fact, stay inside the entire time he has lunch. You’re not sure if this is the product of you sitting two tables away, trying to will an imaginary chain to his wrist so he doesn’t bolt off or because he’s still feeling a little affected by everything you said earlier on, but whatever it is, it works. He just eats his club sandwich in peace, picking off the crust easily and double dipping the fries that come with it in his ketchup. At some point, he looks up and notices you burning holes into his torso, so you quickly have to avert your eyes in shame. You think he laughs at this, but you can only see out of your peripheral vision at this point, so you can’t be sure. 

You’re supposed to have one hour for lunch, but he eats quickly and gets up before the whole hour is over, so you end up throwing your half-eaten wrap and following him. Again, you’re not sure what’s funny, but he’s chuckling to himself as he holds the elevator door open, waiting for you to run in next to him. 

“Relax, miss secretary. I already said I was going to do my best.”

“No offense, sir, but I don’t know what that looks like, so I have to be careful.”

“Fair enough.” He hums, letting the door close on its own. “But you should still take it easy. You’re pretty t—”

“Tense. You said so yesterday, sir.”

“That’s two times you’ve cut me off in a single day.” He doesn’t sound very annoyed about it; in fact, he’s still got that amused, inside joke tone to everything he’s had all morning. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were gunning for an insubordination report.”

You don’t think that’s fair for him to say, especially since you haven’t really had much of an authority figure to be subordinate to for most of your career in this company, but you keep your mouth shut since saying so is exactly what would be on the first line of an insubordination report. 

When you arrive back at his office, you take the time to discuss what you should be doing from now on. It’s an extremely messy exchange, with you two grappling between terms you can’t agree on. For instance, Vice President Na thinks that it seems only fair that he should really only be coming in after one o’clock, but you’re insistent on making sure he gets to work on time, since most important meetings happen within that time period (a fact he already seems to know but chooses to ignore anyway). You end up agreeing on bringing him in for the standard nine-to-six for as long as he never has to work overtime. You also find it necessary to iron out the fact that if he has lunch outside, he has to actually come back, a statement he once again finds very amusing for some reason, as if you’re the weird one in this conversation. 

And to his credit, he tries to stick to his word. It isn’t exactly a walk in the park, especially not during the first couple of weeks, but you suppose that habits are very difficult to break when they’ve been so easy to acquire and nurture over many years. More than once, you’ve arrived late to meetings to the disapproving gazes of Head Secretary Son and President Na. However, the latter finds he has less to say these days because Vice President Na’s presence in said meetings had, before this time, been nothing but a pipe dream for everyone. 

You also notice he starts taking the time to ask about things he doesn’t understand, as opposed to his initially brash or sometimes completely unresponsive approach, which has turned out better results when it comes to business lunches with investors and potential partners. Even the Samsung people, who are extremely wary of him during the callback meeting, come out of their next encounter with the Vice President looking vaguely more satisfied than they did the last time (the bar isn’t that high, considering they’d left shell-shocked previously, but you’ll still take the improvement).

Of course, with all the time you end up spending with, chasing after, and vaguely lecturing (only when the need truly arises) Vice President Na, you also learn some things about him that you hadn’t expected, like how he doesn’t really like milk in anything he drinks (but especially coffee) and that every third Sunday of the month, he meets his old high school friend Lee Jeno, the son of the guy that owns half the residential high rise condominiums on this side of the Han. Apparently, they play badminton together — he had told you that when he’d caught you wondering about the super out of place little kid’s karate trophy among other more adult, official ones in his living area. The trophy goes to whoever wins the match of the month, and according to the Vice President, he’s been ‘wiping the floor with that bastard’s handsome face for half a year straight.’ Although you can’t verify this by anything more than the slight blanket of dust on it, you think it takes nothing out of your pride to applaud him like this is an amazing thing. It also does you no harm to see him swell with misplaced pride about a kid’s karate trophy. 

You also notice that despite how healthily he eats at the office, he has a bad habit of craving deep fried food in the afternoon, which is why, over the last few weeks, you’ve been accompanying him to the corndog street stall two blocks away, a few days a week. He’s even had to borrow loose change from you a few times to because he always forgets that no street vendor likes to receive crisp, fresh-out-of-the-bank fifty-thousand won bills, but you just let him have it; his heart’s in the right place when he orders an extra one for you without even asking. You realize that he has a fairly good memory for as long as he’s concentrating, and that he likes to spend late nights watching the shittiest horror movies ever known to man (his words, much to your bemusement), and that when he listens attentively to you telling him about the day’s agenda, his left ear twitches a little when your voice hits it. 

Somewhere along the way, you realize that Vice President Na is a charming, outgoing, and fairly capable person, and in doing so, you also realize that he seems to be, for lack of a better word, your style. 

You can’t really believe it either, and you’re not even sure when it started. In between sitting with him in the company car and handing him forty-page agreements he has to look over carefully (very carefully, as you’ve taken to reminding him, so often that he starts saying it before you do now, which has only somehow endeared him further to you and not annoyed you the way you were sort of hoping it would), the small non-work related part of your consciousness had decided that it needed a more complicated situation now that things were going relatively well.

To be fair to yourself, liking him isn’t a huge distraction; most of the time, you’re both so engrossed in something you desperately have to finish that you don’t even have time to think about it. Instead, it kind of catches you off-guard, like when he’s double dipping his french fries into his ketchup, or when he smiles at you (politely to him, probably, but overwhelmingly charmingly to you) before he leaves the office, or when his brow’s furrowed in (a total shocker) concentration as he reads. 

Then again, everything about Vice President Na seems to be catching you off-guard these days. This much is proven by the fact that instead of the normal silence that you’ve grown accustomed to being greeted by when you enter his house, there’s a lot of noise coming from one area that can only mean either that someone had broken in to mug him or for some reason, he’s up before you need to wake him. 

It’s nothing you have to call 911 for, but it still paralyzes you to see him, surrounded by opened jars and a particularly dirty bread knife as he stands in front of his fancy toaster, drumming his fingers on the counter impatiently. 

“If you have a minute to spare, could you bring my laptop into the car?” He asks without turning around. His hand, still holding the bread knife, points towards the bar counter on the far end of the kitchen, where the laptop is still whirring away. 

“Of course, sir. Um,” you gingerly shut the monitor, putting the laptop to sleep and tucking it under your arm. “Were you… working this morning?”

“No, I was playing a riveting game of bridge against the computer AI.” He turns to you, grinning. “Of course I was working, miss secretary. What do you think I’d be up this early for?” 

You try to think of an answer, but nothing comes to mind — Vice President Na hasn’t ever woken up early for anything to your knowledge, anyway — so you just nod and bolt, unwilling to bear witness to his smile this early in the day. When you come back, particularly less red in the face, you find him topping one of two sandwiches with the last slice of bread to complete it. He takes one, as you expect he would, and you stand there, trying to look polite as you essentially observe him eat.

This isn’t something very unusual; ever since the first time you’d done it, you’ve been watching him out of habit. So far, only the motivation’s changed from you wanting to make sure he doesn’t bolt to you simply enjoying the view of his profile when he eats. Of course, he probably doesn’t know this, but he’s also just gotten used to you watching him and probably finds it funny — as suggested by his perpetually amused expression — that you still think, after all this time, that he’s going to make a run for it. You don’t actually mind it; you get to watch him for free, and he has something to laugh about, so everyone kind of wins. 

He’s halfway through the sandwich when his expression turns quizzical. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

“Eat,” you echo hollowly. “Eat what, sir?”

“A delicious, handmade, gourmet peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich.” When you don’t move, he pushes the plate with the untouched sandwich forward towards you like he thinks you can’t understand anything he’s saying. “What? Are you allergic to something?”

“No, but…”

“But?”

There’s no but; you don’t have a good reason to decline other than the fact that accepting it feels weird, but refusing him when he’s looking at you this expectantly is just as awkward. You rub the back of your neck as you walk over, not missing the look of triumph that crosses his face as you pick up the sandwich and take a bite. It’s good, but you don’t really think that has anything to do with his culinary skills, based on what it is; still, he looks like he’s patting himself on the back for this feat. 

“Thank you, sir.”

“Secretary ____________, I hope you can count this as a momentous occasion for the both of us.” He chuckles. “You get free breakfast made especially for you by your direct superior in the comfort of his own home, and I finally get to learn what all the settings on my toaster are for. Between you and me, I think mine’s the better achievement.” 

You’re still in the middle of eating when you laugh, and you hastily raise a hand to cover it — only Vice President Na catches your wrist halfway through, so quickly you vaguely choke on the bread that’s only partially down your throat.

“I’ve never seen you laugh,” he looks as surprised as you feel, although probably for a different reason. “I don’t even think you’ve ever smiled at me, specifically.”

“Oh.” You need time to respond, mostly so you can swallow but also because you need to collect yourself from your shock. There seems to be a lot of that going around this morning. “Sorry. Should I do that more often?”

“I mean, if you ask like that, it’s kind of disingenuous,” he laughs. “But I like it. I like knowing you’re not just in a constant state of stress because of me. Feels even more momentous than the toaster thing.” 

He loosens his hold, and you manage to take your hand back, now refusing to meet his eye. “I’m not… stressed by you.”

“Not anymore.”

“Not anymore,” you agree, and he looks particularly delighted when he sees the corners of your lips turn up again. “Not for a while. And not that my opinion matters, but you’ve been performing above expectations, sir.”

“You’re right,” he hums, taking the plate and putting it in the sink — a problem he seems to be saving for later. “It doesn't matter. But I like it, all the same.”

You’re willing to chalk the morning off as a wonderful anomaly, especially since the rest of it passes as it normally does, with a generally quiet car ride (you’ve also learned that Vice President Na likes to listen to rap music on days when he wants to avoid falling asleep in the backseat, which is equal parts amazing and amusing) and a fifteen minute briefing of what he has on his plate today. He disappears for the better part of the morning and even the whole lunch hour, but you expect this because he has a business lunch with the representatives for some Norwegian appliance company that’s looking to break into the Korean market. You can’t imagine many people want a state of the art rice cooker alongside their monthly internet bill, but it’s polite for him to go anyway, and the prospective partner seems very on edge about company secrets. It’s one of those meetings you aren’t allowed to come along to, which means that you’re missing out on a few hours of Vice President Na trying to iron details out with a couple of old guys. 

While you eat, you’re once again struck with the random notion that it feels weird not to be around the Vice President. You’ve been working together regularly and in a very close capacity, which basically means that you’re always in his shadow. It’s the life you were kind of hoping to have at the beginning and were deprived of for a good two years. Now that you have it, it feels weirdly natural — so natural that it’s unnatural to not have his voice ordering you around in that easy tone or his aftershave lingering in the air directly above you. 

You throw the tissue you used to wipe the oil from your egg toast off your mouth onto the table, crumpled and wilted. 

You miss him, which is ridiculous considering you don’t even know what there is to miss. Your relationship, while admittedly lightyears ahead of the starting point it had been at back then (again, not a great standard, considering you didn’t even have a relationship before this period of time), is nothing close to the point of being what it should be for one to miss the other. 

And yet, you look forward to seeing him, watching him do something from afar, helping him whenever he needs you. You like the fact that he still sometimes fakes left when you’re accompanying him back to his office, and you do this thing where you pretend to be annoyed even though it makes you happy to know he won’t go anywhere. You like the little sounds he makes when he eats his super unhealthy corndog as if he’s eating it for the first time every single time (see: very unnerving and slightly disturbing but altogether amusing mmmmmmmmmms). In fact, if you didn’t have a vivid memory of telling him off from way back then, you feel like you could easily convince yourself that things had always been like this — that you two had always been together, happily at work. 

You’re not surprised that he isn’t back from his meeting even when you get back to your desk after lunch, but you do feel a pang of dejectedness that lasts for a few more hours — time which you spend lazily looking over a contract he’d signed yesterday that needs a fair amount of amending and re-signing. It’s hard to pretend to care today, for some reason, especially since your mind keeps going back to peanut butter sandwiches and some ridiculous vision of Vice President Na standing in the middle of your tiny studio apartment’s kitchen area. 

Your reverie’s broken when an envelope falls onto your desk, covering the page of the contract you’d been glassily staring at for the last hour and a half. You’d drawn the same circle about twenty times already, and the paper’s all dented from your efforts. When you look up, Vice President Na is staring down at you, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Miss me?” He drums the envelope, the paper muffling the noise of it all. “Oh? I was joking, but it looks like you actually did. That’s twice in a single day, Secretary ____________. You’re setting a very high record.”

You try to tamp down the smile on your face upon seeing him, clearing your throat so that you have an excuse to press your lips together. You guess it doesn’t work because he just keeps smiling, anyway, or maybe he’s just in a really good mood. “Did your meeting go well, sir?” 

“Is Lotteria the national fastfood chain? Too bad I don’t work for anyone because it kind of feels like I deserve some kind of reward.”

“Could we say that this partnership is its own reward?” 

“It doesn’t have the same ring to it,” he sighs. Once again, his forefinger taps the envelope, calling your attention a little more clearly to it. “I know we’re on a tight schedule for this, and I hate to ask this so late of you, but —”

“Of course, sir; I’ll have it in your hands first thing tomorrow.” 

You’re already gathering it up along with your other (vaguely unfinished) paperwork when his whole palm comes down, trapping the envelope and everything else you’d been intending to carry under it. Your hands go up like you’re being held at gunpoint, your eyes wide. 

“On second thought,” Vice President Na muses, a little too serene for someone who’d just scared the living daylights out of someone else. “How about I take care of the Samsung deal you’re looking over, and you can handle the Norwegian contract?”

“I haven’t… really made a lot of headway with it, if I’m being honest.” You’re hoping he doesn’t ask you why because you’re too embarrassed to come up with a lie on the spot and will inevitably have to confess your random attraction to him under these terrible circumstances if he does. Luckily, he just shrugs.

“All the more reason to split the work, then.”

The still mildly stern part of you is begging to point out that he’s giving you a whole new set of documents to look over anyway, so it’s not even like you’ll have less to do, but the larger, more endeared part of you tells it to shut up and mind its own business. “I thought the crux of our agreement was that you’d never have to work overtime.”

“Because I look like such a stickler for the rules, don’t I?” He snorts, waving you in with the same envelope, and you concede.

Working next to Vice President Na isn’t anything new to you; you’ve been doing it everyday for a while now, especially if he needs you to be quick on call. Ever since you’ve realized his presence makes your heart beat a little faster, you’ve promised yourself not to let that fact show at all when he’s around, something you’ve been quite careful about perfecting. 

Something’s different, though, when it’s after official hours. Maybe it’s because the floor is quieter than it is during the day, so there’s nothing you can listen to but the sound of pen scratching on paper and Vice President Na’s steady breathing. The only real interruption is when Hyunsung knocks on the door to ask if the Vice President is going home; the look on his face is panicked and confused, like a puppy that’s just been dropped off at the mouth of a dumpster site, when he’s told that Vice President Na will drive himself home, so he can just leave the keys. 

Maybe it’s also because it’s pretty dark outside, and while you’ve worked into the night a few times, it’s usually alone or with some other poor sap that has even more backlog than you do — it’s never been just you and the Vice President, who seems supremely unperturbed by the fact that he isn’t at home doing… whatever he does at home after work. You can only guess at it (or wish you knew). 

That makes one of you that’s keeping busy, although you know it should be two. The fact that you’re distracted by his presence all of a sudden is only exacerbated by the mutually exclusive headache that the paperwork you’re looking over gives you. You don’t know why you had expected it to be in Korean, but you and your intermediate level English struggle to keep up with all the little things you have to look through. Sometimes, you can’t tell if the clauses are actually confusing or if you’re just the poor product of your middle school education. It strikes you more than once that Vice President Na had gone through this, somehow, himself — talked to people in a completely different language, probably with ease. You can at least be proud of yourself for being right: for as long as the Vice President puts his mind to something, he’s able to do it — perhaps even well. 

What shocks you after an eternity of silence is the hand that extends towards you, forefinger lightly nudging your chin. You sit up straight like a bolt of lighting had gone through you, meeting Vice President Na’s thoroughly and inexplicably amused expression. Your jaw slackens in shock, but his finger just stays there, like it isn’t invading your personal space. Like it just belongs there.

“What are you doing?”

“What—” you splutter, bemused at the fact that you hadn’t asked the question first. “What are you doing?”

“You keep moving your mouth. What — are you praying or something?”

“No, I —-” You gesture at the contract page you’ve been trying to stumble through for the past twenty minutes. “No, I’m just… I’m reading?”

“You’re…” The start of a laugh escapes him, and you really don’t know what’s so funny. “You’re reading aloud?”

“I wasn’t making any noise, I think,” you grumble, sounding a little more defensive than you’d care to admit. 

“You read silently aloud, then.” His eyes twinkle at this information, although why it should elicit this reaction also completely escapes you. “Why? Because it helps you memorize it or something?”

“My English isn’t that great,” you admit begrudgingly, suddenly feeling a little exposed. “Sometimes I need to mouth the words to understand it.”

And he does the most outrageous, inexplicable thing: he gently cups your chin, making sure you can’t turn your head to look away in embarrassment. Now you have to look at him, red in the face and close to exploding. 

“Don’t you think that’s a little too much, miss secretary?”

You can’t ask what; your voice isn’t working. You just open and close your mouth around the syllable, and after a couple of attempts, he starts copying you, evidently having a better time than you are based on the grin stretched across his face.

“What? What? That you’re doing something this cute in front of me is what I mean. You’re obviously going overboard, and I don’t think it’s very nice.”

He retracts his hand as quickly as he’d used it to close the distance between you, and your hand immediately comes up in its place, almost cupping your jaw like he did. It definitely doesn’t give you the same tingly feeling, so that’s an obvious bust.

You and Vice President Na have a sudden staring contest with amended rules: you blink a hundred times a minute at him while he laughs quietly, leaning back on his chair like he doesn’t have a care in the world. It confuses you and kind of enrages you, but you also find your heart thumping away in your ears like it’s trying very hard to remind you that Na Jaemin makes you feel alive. 

“I— I just—”

“Coffee? I could use some coffee. You look like you could use some too.” He stands, buttoning his blazer with one hand like he has someplace important to go. You’re still so shell-shocked that you don’t even try to stand up to help him, a fact which he notices very clearly. “Oh no, I’ll do you this favor. You sit tight and read your contract. I’ll be back. Keep doing that cute thing with your mouth.” 

Vice President Na finds you exactly as he left you: still wondering if you should be offended at his teasing or enamored by his touch and, more importantly, what the hell his deal is. You have a million questions that need answering, but the only thing you blubber out when he comes back is “Why?” 

“Because you’re amazingly fun to tease,” he responds simply. “And because it’s true. I find it extremely cute. I find you very cute, Secretary _____________, in a kind of good girl, cool girl kind of way. It’s a little confusing to me too, but I think this slightly stern but overall gentle aesthetic of yours is actually growing on me a little.”

“Sir, I—”

“While we’re taking a break,” he interrupts you. You guess it’s probably the right time for a break considering there’s no way you can work in peace now. “Do you constantly have to call me that?” 

“What else would I call you?”

“My name,” he suggests, taking a sip of coffee. You ignore the shit, that’s hot that comes out of him as he puts the paper cup down gingerly on his desk, looking a little bit betrayed by his drink. “Jaemin. Many people call me that.”

“People who are close to you, you mean. Like your family or… your friends.”

“Are you saying you don’t think we’re close? Or that we aren’t friends?”

“Sir, I work for you.” 

“So by that alone, we simply can’t be friends? Et al?I think you really are being too much now, Secretary ____________.” He folds his arms across his chest, tutting disapprovingly as he leans back on the edge of his desk. You try not to think too hard about the fact that he does it very close to you, at an angle optimal for viewing the leanness of his form. “After all those times you broke into my house—”

“To get you ready for work.”

“— walked into my bedroom—”

“Only whenever necessary—”

“— gone through my things while I’m half naked in bed like you’re trying to organize a charity drive—”

“Because you need to get dressed, not because I have some perverted agenda —”

“—eaten the food off my kitchen counter, too—”

“You told me to!” You get to your feet, the contract slipping from your lap in your enthusiasm to defend yourself. “You offered it to me!”

Whatever happens next is completely out of your control, and you know this because the room spins without you moving by your own will. Vice President Na must have been an expert dancer in his past life, or something, because after that one dizzying moment, you find yourself leaning against the edge of the table he had been just a second ago. Warm hands are on your waist, tucked under your cardigan, the heat bleeding through your shirt. 

And the Vice President’s smile is inches away from your face, still mischievous but much gentler than any other time before. 

You’re not sure if you’re paralyzed or if you just don’t want to move, but the reason doesn’t affect the outcome: all you can do is stare up at him, once again dumbfounded after a small outpouring of words that ends in some kind of forced defeat. Except this particular surrender doesn’t feel so sore, for some reason. 

“Even when you’re angry, you’re still pretty, you know that?”

“I wasn’t… angry,” you mumble under your breath, afraid that talking louder will scare him off. You don’t even think he’s listening all that much to you, considering that all he does is tuck your hair behind your left ear and completely change the topic. 

“So, tell me, Secretary ____________. Is this still a situation where we’re not close at all?” He pauses for a moment, probably to let you answer, but you don’t say anything. You’re pretty sure your swallowing nervously is the only true sound you make. He seems to be eager to do a lot of the talking anyway, which is absolutely fine by you. “Or have I completely misread all your cute little signals?”

“Well — no, but I didn’t send any signals.” Obvious ones, at least. You’d been pretty sure you had tried to keep it under wraps as much as possible, but you’re starting to realize it’s a little possible you’re not as great at pretending as you think you are. 

“Not on purpose, probably. Although you really almost got me with the one-man show vibe you have during lunch hour.”

“I… didn’t think you knew, if I’m being honest.” Honesty is the only thing you have right now, anyway, especially since Vice President Na has pretty much confirmed, in his own way, that he knows about how you feel. Now you can only wonder if he’d noticed before you even came to terms with it yourself, and the thought of that being a real possibility urges you to grab the still-steaming cup of coffee and douse yourself with its contents. 

“For a while, I was pretty sure you were messing with me. I would never,” he adds just as you say it too, mimicking your astounded tone up to the lilt. “Which is why I started thinking about why else you might be looking at me so intently. You weren’t sitting there objectifying me, were you, miss secretary?”

“Sir, I would never,” you repeat, and he mouths the same words again in his amusement, although silently this time. 

“I think I would have been okay with it if you were. Or would be, even until now. For the record.” 

“I wasn’t.” 

“You sure? No shame in it. Totally fine. Not sure about anyone else, but I’m totally okay if someone else thinks I’m eye candy in the privacy of their own minds. I am, I think, a fine specimen of a human, if I do say so myself.”

“I really wasn’t, sir.”

“You should have, then. Lost opportunities.”” 

“I could argue that I was just worried you’d leave and not come back.”

“You know I wouldn’t do that to you,” he hums. “Not anymore, anyway.” 

The ‘to you’ is what stumps you into another silent spell, but this time, Vice President Na doesn’t attempt to fill in the void. He just starts running his eyes over your face, like he’s trying to read something there or maybe memorize your features, or something. At some point, you start thinking about how this kind of silence isn’t exactly uncomfortable, contrary to your expectations and with interesting consideration of the fact that he’s still holding your hips. Apart from the idle skimming of his thumb over the curve of your pelvic bone, he doesn’t move — nearer or closer, which is probably for the best since you don’t know which one you really want more at this point.

Again, when you gather some part of your wits, the only thing you still know how to ask is “Why?”

“Because,” he replies immediately, simply, like the answer has always been very clear and you’ve just been too ignorant to figure it out. “You said that I could, not that I had to.” 

It’s hot. Isn’t it hot? You don’t know what he’s talking about, but your body already reacts on principle, and you have to stand-half-lean there with your entire face burning and Vice President Na’s body heat washing over yours like an electric blanket.

“I don’t know what that means, sir.”

“It means I didn’t do this for my dad or just because you told me off in the comfort of my own office.” He bites down on his lower lip to keep himself from laughing (yet again) at you as he witnesses, from the best seat in the house, your face turning almost purple with the effort of keeping down your embarrassment. “Although that played a bit of a factor in it. I couldn’t tell if it was rude of you to say so much or kind of cute that you did despite knowing you were being rude. But that’s besides the point.”

Good, you think. If he manages to hit you with another cute in this timeframe, you may easily cease to exist. 

“You know firsthand, anyway, what my dad always says. You must take on the responsibility you were born with. You have to do your job. You must remember that you owe your life to my achievements.” He mimics his father’s gruff, booming voice amusingly well, to the point that you can’t stop yourself from laughing. His facade breaks easily, and you think you hear him mumble cute under his breath again, although you choose to ignore it so your knees don’t buckle completely (something that you think would be very embarrassing with you so close to him). “I don’t think he’s ever once said an encouraging word to my face. And if there’s anything I can confidently say I won’t do, it’s doing what people only say I need to do. It’s my life, you know what I mean? I’ll do what I want.” 

“You’re saying you suddenly wanted to work because I said you could?” 

“More like I wanted to see if you were right.” He muses. “I was pretty sure I didn’t have the personality for it. Or the attention span. Or the skill, either.”

“I think a couple of those things are still up in the air, sir.”

“One compliment and you’re already gunning for another insubordination report.” Vice President Na’s voice is a low, casual hum, but you notice the grip around your waist tightens for a brief moment. “At first, I figured I’d just show up to get everyone off my back, but I realized along the way that I’m pretty good at this being at the helm business. I’m sure you’ll agree. Hopefully because you want to, not because you also have to.”

“I do agree.” Your reply is wholehearted, and the Vice President’s smile widens. Your chest swells so much that you think you might explode right in front of him. “Because I want to.”

“Please don’t misunderstand me, miss secretary. I’m not attributing all my successes to your impulsive words.” He teases, although his eyes stay gentle despite his tone. “The efforts were still all mine. However, I’m not too proud to admit I had a very responsible first mate by my side, for whom I am very grateful. Although I hope this doesn’t mean she’ll pluck up the courage to ask for a raise considering how well I pay her. I think. Does she get paid well? Maybe I should ask Park Jinhee from accounting.” 

“She won’t,” you laugh softly, not missing the fact that he’s finally learned her name. “And she’s not really doing this for the salary, even if it is a nice bonus.” 

“What’s she doing it for, then?” 

As a job, this was really mostly about yourself — or it was, in the beginning. You’d terrorized Vice President Na to some degree because of the innate tendency towards self-preservation, and when that felt a little one-sided, you also considered everyone who might lose their jobs if the department got cut. It had been, for the most part, an act of pure desperation, so strong that you were willing to point fingers and raise your voice (only a few decibels, because you’re not a crazy person) at your boss. Now… that wasn’t really part of the equation. Maybe you had gotten used to the fact that the Vice President wouldn’t be going anywhere, so you’d stopped worrying about your and everyone else’s jobs, which all seem to be on a smooth path alongside the captain of the ship.

But if you had to be honest to yourself, part of the reason you’d grown a bit complacent about thinking about the fate of the department also had to do with the fact that you genuinely enjoyed being next to the Vice President. Mornings spent helping him prepare for work were regular highlights in your week, and the looks of approval you received from him every time you helped him finish a particularly difficult task were second to none. Always being close to him, always being the first and last to see him in the day, simply being able to look at him -– silly as that all sounds, they now play an undeniable factor in your desire to wake up and go to the office every single day. 

“I did it for you.” You answer, and because the answer’s honest, it feels completely natural to say. A pause slowly lengthens between you two, though not nearly as tense or borderline uncomfortable as you thought it might be this time around. A slow smile stretches over the Vice President’s face, but his words don’t easily take the straightforward route this time, either.

“Should I take up with the human resources department the fact that you’re outright breaching the terms of our contractual workplace relationship? How am I?” He speaks over, with you again, your voices overlapping. You can’t help it — you laugh at the absurdity of how well he’s come to know your responses, from the word choice to the lilt in your voice that signals some level of affront. When, exactly, did Vice President Na start committing the things you said and did into memory? “You’re seducing me, miss secretary. Before you say you’re not — you are. You are, without even knowing it. You’re winning me over, telling me all these sweet nothings to tickle my heart — I believe in you, Jaemin. I love working with you, Jaemin. I did it all for you, Jaemin, because you’re obviously the best in the whole world, ho ho ho.”

“I never said it like that.” 

“You might as well have.” 

“Should I stop believing in you so that we can avoid a scene, then, or is the damage to your good standing too far gone?”

“Rather than stopping something already in full motion, I think it might be better to make certain amendments to our current agreement.” Vice President Na reaches for the pen tucked into his breast pocket — the gold clip catches the fluorescent light and momentarily blinds you as he brings it up between you. He brings it to one side, then to another, and your eyes follow it, amused but also admittedly a bit hypnotized.

“What kind of trance are you putting me under, sir?”

“The kind that gets you to stop calling me that,” he chuckles. “Among other, more important things on my agenda.” 

You have an excellent view of Vice President Na’s stellar smile from the back of the meeting room. 

The deal he closes three days later goes even better than expected; not only does he bring Amazon into the fold after weeks of (surprisingly consistent) hard work and no small amount of beguiling charm (owing to the fact that he’d offended said Amazon representatives earlier on in his still relatively short-lived career), but he also manages to snag Samsung Electronics’ participation. As an already existing subscriber to the company-provided phone plan, you’re pleased to find out that you’re entitled to twelve guilt-free months of Prime Video as part of a new promotional deal, which you can now enjoy on nights you aren’t working overtime — something you’ve racked up more of as you’ve found yourself striking more of a work-life balance, thanks in large part to the Vice President’s steadily active involvement in all things on the ‘work’ aspect of the scale. Your first goal is to finally get past the first episode of an animation everyone in the department is raving about (but that you haven’t seen more than five minutes of, in actuality, because the horrible subtitles and sluggish 144px stop motion-esque have, until recently, adamantly deterred you from enjoying anything about the story).

Standing a fair distance away from the executives, you wait for the flurry of handshakes and accompanying congratulatory statements to die down; it takes quite a while, considering the sheer volume of people, and the thickest throng has come to gather around Vice President Na. At one point, all you can see of him is the slightly unruly lick of hair that’s sticking out above the rest of the considerable crowd of balding men around him (the sole crow’s feather a mountain range of gray). All their voices overlap, and you’re only able to catch key phrases — brilliant young mind… knack for business! … just like the President… bright future ahead, you know? 

Fifteen minutes of conversation and bellowing guffaws pass before Vice President Na emerges, adjusting the front of his blazer as a result of too much handshaking. Behind him, still speaking to one of the  marketing executives, is President Na, who shoots his son a surreptitious look you’ve never seen him wear in your considerable number of years in the company’s employ  — one of triumph and pride. The Vice President, however, is intently loosening his tie and scanning the room, stretching himself just a fraction taller above everyone else to get a better view throughout. 

You wait, wondering if he’s looking to speak to someone, lost in that host of black and gray suits — the Amazon media director, perhaps, or the in-house designer that also seems to be trying to catch his eye, for some reason (you sense the needy greed for a sudden promotion that seems highly unlikely in such a setting), but even though his vision passes over them, however briefly, Vice President Na doesn’t seem satisfied.

That is, until his eyes land on the corner of the room you and Secretary Son have backed yourselves into to allow the higher-ups room to mingle. 

One beat later, and the corners of his mouth are pulled up — a soft, knowing smile directed in your general direction. You glance at Secretary Son, maybe out of instinct, maybe somehow out of panic — as though you worry she’ll somehow come to chastise you, but she’s too busy trying to re-buckle her thin coat belt with rapid-fire tsks. She seems acceptably preoccupied, so your eyes flit back to the Vice President, whose eyebrows are now slightly raised, the telltale signs of a growing grin now playing on his lips as the front of his teeth begin to peek out from the seam. Another cock of his eyebrows, lifting them higher, tells you he’s waiting for some kind of message — an indication that you see him too, maybe, or… perhaps, oddly, any sign that you’re as proud of him as everyone else in the room is. 

You can’t help it  — you laugh, louder than you’d have originally liked to, a hand coming up over your mouth as Secretary Son’s head snaps up from her waist, bamboozled at your quick but sudden outburst. She throws you a look that suggests she firmly believes your mind has snapped, quite like a stale breadstick in a derelict Italian restaurant, but it’s worth it; Vice President Na looks satisfied at this — though, why he would be, you haven’t a true clue. 

As the managers and members of the board file out of the room, both you and Secretary Son inch closer to your respective direct superiors; you both stand a few steps away as the last of the executives drag their feet, still hoping to share one last handshake with either of the two, until an elderly Mrs. Kwon’s surprisingly firm grip is finally shaken off by a sheepish President Na. He turns to his son, who’s still hosting the remnants of a genial smile on his lips, clearly poised to say something. For some reason, you expect the senior to berate the former, simply out of sheer habit, but he does nothing of the sort. 

“Jaemin-ah,” his voice is gruff but not at all begrudging; it’s a low rumble of triumph. “Who’d’ve thought? My boy… you brat…”

“Don’t tell me you’re getting sentimental now, dad,” the Vice President teases, to which the President chortles heartily. 

“Old men like me have the right, much more than anyone else.” You’ve never seen the President wear an expression even remotely close to softness, but you see it in his gaze now; it strikes you, then, that although you’ve always known the two to be related, this is the first time you can confidently say they resemble each other to the cores of their being — a view of happiness, somewhat mirrored in each of them. “I’m proud of you, son. You did everything I hoped you would — no, no… more than that, even.” 

“I’ll take most of the praise, thanks,” Vice President Na replies with his characteristic cheek. For a moment, so quickly you think you may have missed it, his eyes flicker to you. “But I can’t say I could’ve done it alone.” 

“Punk,” President Na snorts, yanking on his son’s earlobe; you and Secretary Son have to avert your eyes with expert speed to avoid being caught snickering at the slightly juvenile “ow, dammit,” that the Vice President groans out. “One big closed deal, and your head’s this big? I better not catch you floating away to a Las Vegas casino after all this.” 

“Give me some credit; I’d at least visit the desert first.” This time, when the Vice President glances at you, his father’s head turns too, and you stand up straighter at the unprecedented onslaught of attention. “Besides, I’ve got someone here to keep me anchored now.”

“Good work, Secretary ____________,” President Na offers you a rare smile that truly has you feeling like the world has turned upside down: the President in an agreeable (almost ecstatic, though you’d never say that out loud) mood, the Vice President doing his job not just in general but actually commendably well, and not a single strand of baby hair sticking up from out of your ponytail. Inconceivable. 

You bow, murmuring a thank you, and Secretary Son quickly follows suit for the formality of it all before she strides over to the President, who’s leaving his son with one last thunder-like clap on the back before he’s leaving the meeting room, still jovial when he catches up with the suspiciously lagging figure of Mrs. Kwon by the door. 

Vice President Na starts to follow suit, walking towards the other end of the meeting room; you quickly scurry behind him, still clutching your tablet, blinking a low battery warning, to your chest. You’ve come to grow accustomed to the ‘secretary’s pace’ over the last few weeks as well — always close enough to help, never too close enough to step on a superior’s toes.

But in the moment you fumble to silence your device, you end up stepping into someone’s shadow; glancing up at the Vice President, you find yourself looking at not the familiar view of his back but that of his side profile (one you’re actually also familiar with, though you refuse to admit to the level of familiarity). He’s slowed his pace considerably, allowing you to naturally fall into step with him, and even this, he expects a response from you somehow — he asks for it with yet another wiggle of his eyebrows. You laugh again, shaking your head, and yet, inexplicably, it seems to be exactly the reaction he hopes to see.

The department floor erupts into applause when the two of you pass through the glass doors; a flash of mollification crosses the Vice President’s features before he’s back to his signature light humor, raising a palm up in receipt of praise. Park Jinhee is clapping with only her left hand smacking the side of her mug, a few drops of coffee streaming down the handle side on impact. One of the team managers rushes forward, eager to shake Vice President Na’s hand, and, riding his high, also yours, pumping it up and down with so much vigor that you mumble a quiet ow behind a strained smile. Only the Vice President’s hand on your shoulder, steering you away, saves you from what feels like possible dislocation. 

He’s still waving at them like this is a pageant and not his day job, even as he guides you towards his office door; you have to use your elbows to push it open and effectively help you both avoid ramming into frosted glass. The applause dies down as your somewhat conjoined figures disappear through the doorway — you first, albeit convolutedly, your heel still holding strong in the job of keeping the door wide open enough for Vice President Na to saunter through before you let it swing shut to a now relatively silent office floor. 

His hold on your shoulder doesn’t let up, though; it’s still urging you forward, towards his desk, and you open your mouth to say something along the lines of I’m gonna break my hip if we keep going this way, but just as your throat conjures up the first syllable, he turns you around, letting you rest light against the edge of the table. 

In a pattern reminiscent of three days prior, Vice President Na’s hand finds its way to your waist, utterly comfortable in a way that mystifies you; he acts like it belongs there, as natural as the smile that’s still playing on his lips. 

“Sir, you realize it’s the middle of the day?” 

“You realize that we had a deal,” he corrects you, brow furrowing in feigned sternness. “Hold up your end of it, miss secretary.” 

“Only if you stop calling me that.” 

“Now, that absolutely was not part of the contract.” 

When you laugh this time, he chimes in; there’s a harmony in your voices that has your posture softening. You feel airier, your heart much lighter, and when you look up at him, you can’t help but flush at his expectant gaze. 

“You realize it’s the middle of the day,” you repeat, carefully, the words suddenly somewhat unfamiliar on your tongue — the next two syllables, most of all. “Jae… min.” 

Odd as it is, you’re rewarded with the pleased look that takes over his features; he takes a moment to exaggeratedly revel in this new occurrence. 

“Better. Much better. You could still be a bit more comfortable with it, I’d say, but… baby steps?” 

“Please re-prioritize your day, si— Jaemin.” The terse tone you’re going for is brutally marred by your blunder, which has his shoulders shaking from laughter. “Someone could very easily walk in.” 

“Who’s going to fire me?”

“I can think of one person.”

“You heard him. I’m proud of you, Jaemin. You’ve completely exceeded my expectations, Jaemin. You are the light of my life — my favorite son, Jaemin, ho, ho, ho.”

“Sir,” you sigh. “You’re his only son.”

“We had a deal,” he repeats, letting the return to habits slide, and there’s a laughably childish air to his words. “I’ll… file an insubordination report. Breach of contract as well. Tsk, tsk, miss secretary. Not on such a momentous occasion.” 

“Some might classify this as threatening behavior.” Your eyes are soft, though, when they meet his humored gaze. “If you want a reward… ask a little more nicely.”

A soft snort — his fingers dig lightly into your waist, and the next second, he’s lifting you off your feet and settling you lightly atop his desk. his palms never leave you, even after you’ve been placed; they’re increasingly warm beyond the fabric of your top. 

“____________,” he murmurs, saying your name so naturally that you could almost believe he’s referred to you as nothing else for as long as you’ve known him. “Kiss me.” 

Your own hands find their way behind his neck, but he does most of the work in closing the gap anyway; you’re not even sure who, between the two of you, gave that first sigh of longing, of relief. Perhaps it was both of you, all at once. 

Jaemin still tastes like the coffee you’d given him this morning — not a trace of richness, but a bittersweet and earthy twang that’s signature post-Americano. There’s even a hint of mintiness from the nervous handful of Tic Tacs he’d had just before the meeting started; you find that out the moment his tongue swipes against yours, leaving behind the invisible bite of menthol. And then there’s you, a clean taste that settles against his teeth, subtle first but growing stronger until you’re satisfied with the notion that you may linger there for some time — even after you pull away, slightly breathless.

“Congratulations to me,” he breathes out, trademark grin flashing bright again. “So what happens if I close next month’s Disney Plus deal?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer; his hand’s already skimming down, over your hips, following the path of your thigh. Your hand reaches out on instinct to stop him, but he’s oddly more aware of his surroundings than you give him credit for (or maybe, you’re just that predictable to him). He meets your palm, fingers lacing into yours and allowing him to lift your wrist to his lips. There, you feel the warmth of his kiss again, and he uses his hold to bring himself even closer, until he’s able to press his face into your neck. 

“Sir—”

“Jaemin. You call me Jaemin from now on, remember?”

“Sir.” You’re adamant. “It’s work hours.”

“You’re not tense.” 

He doesn’t move his head; in fact, you feel him burying his face further into your shoulder. In this position, there’s no real way for you to pull away — there’s also no real desire for you to do so, anyway. 

“No, I’m not.”

“Good.” Warmth again on your skin — his lips leave an invisible mark just above your collarbone. “I like you best like this.”

“What? Not tense?”

“Happy,” he corrects for accuracy. “Happy that you’re with me.” 

You fall silent, not because you’re not sure of what to say, but because you don’t need to tell him that he’s right. 

Moments later, his fingers find their way into your ponytail; the index hooks into the elastic, bringing your hair down. You feel his shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath, he’s inhaling your perfume again. 

“Green tea. Something floral. Jasmine? Maybe a little bit of citrus.” He lifts his head but stays close, warm breath washing over you. “It’s so you. Fresh. Pure. Beautiful.” 

The gap between the two of you doesn’t last for too long thereafter; he kisses you again, and your heart lifts to find that your taste still lingers somewhere there. It’s longer because it’s slower — less playful and more exploratory, until he pulls away to a much more breathless you. How he finds the air to talk even after is miraculous to you. 

“Be mine, miss secretary.” 

You blink — once, twice, at his serious expression, wondering if it will break and give way to more humor. But he waits, unwavering, until the last piece of resistance you’ve clung onto is washed away — the last thing that made you, for a second, deny that you were in love with him. 

His smile slowly mirrors yours as it grows. 

“Like you could ever get rid of me, Na Jaemin.” 

#jaemin imagines #jaemin scenario #jaemin drabbles #jaemin drabble #jaemin scenarios #jaemin x reader #jaemin x you #nct x you #nct dream x you #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream drabbles #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct imagine #nct scenario #nct smut #jaemin smut #nct x reader #nct x y/n

[teresajoan]

Astrology: Uranus in the houses

Uranus is righteous. Uranus is compelled to uphold values and beliefs for the greater good. Unlike Pluto, which destroys for the purpose of transforming, or Mars that destroys for the purpose of overcoming, Uranus destroys for the sake of what is considered right and fair. It will destroy in the name of truth and equity. It is the ultimate rebel and anti-authoritarion. It causes chaos in the face of resistance.

The house with uranus in it must act righteously, and the desired results must be righteous. Otherwise, volatility occurs.

1st house - You see the world differently and sometimes can't believe that you are forced to live in the constraints of society. Use your presence righteously to help others who are alienated.

2nd house - Spend money unselfishly. What you give to others will come back unexpectedly. Perhaps you don't even "believe in money," and you understand it as a created concept that keeps the poor suffering and the rich richer. You value unusual items and gifts.

3rd house - Others find it difficult to understand you and follow your chain of thoughts. You may get frustrated and exhausted by this, but you try to always speak your truth no matter what. Do this, and those who understand will love you. The ones that do not understand will be left behind. Use your words to advocate for others less fortunate in your community. The more you are involved in sibling drama, the worse it will get.

4th house - It's hard to find solid ground to call your home, but the more you hold onto the past is the more sudden and unexpected shake ups will occur. Practice empathy towards your family, and you will be truly empathetic to yourself.

5th house - Be respectful and kind in love. Do not fuck with others hearts, or it will come back around. Be open about the strangeness and taboos that you seek from the beginning. Sudden wins and loses in gambling. Unexpected accidents with children or pregnancy. Consider revolutionary ideas around these topics and how you can advocate for others in such positions.

6th house - You're compelled to fight authoritarian figures in your day and in your society because you hate being controlled. Step outside of the defensive fight and come up with your own routine and process without expecting others to agree to follow along.

7th house - Approach others with a fair and equal attitude. The more you celebrate the difference in others, the more it will be celebrated in you. You seek unusual partnerships and have open ideas about marriage, however, this must be actioned with consent.

8th house - Respect the property of others and do not fight over inheritance for selfish reasons. Embrace the sudden changes and loss. Fighting against it will cause more chaos.

9th house - Take ownership of your own learning. Your views and beliefs are against the norm and for the bettering of society. Just don't let your ego get so attached to your opinion that you close yourself off to learning. Otherwise, a greater force will have no choice but to continuously shake up your beliefs.

10th house - You are viewed by others as "different" or "strange." You should work to change society's perceptions, not to justify your strangeness, but to free others of stigma and discrimination.

11th house - You are the natural humanitarian. Its easy to get suddenly swept up in revolutionary ideas. Earn your money outside of the norm. Be careful when you dream strange and big for society. It must be with the purpose of benefiting those who need it, not just anarchy for the sake of defiance.

12th house - You have a strong hidden desire to break away and be free. You want to travel and explore alone. However, you can not avoid your generational karma. It follows you everywhere. The more open you are to understanding this, the more pleasant surprises will be delivered to you in unusual ways.

#astrology #witchblr #astro observations #astroblr #uranus #aquarius #transits

[cc1010fox]

Rex: That number is your kill count? Fox: Roughly. Cody: I wasn't...expecting that to be honest... Wolffe: He's lying. Look, he wrote a number above it first, then crossed it out. That's the truth. Fox: No, that's the literal kill count. Cody: ... Rex: ... Wolffe: ... Fox: They were alive before we crossed paths. Rex: Oh...Most of our kills are-- Cody: Droids... Wolffe: I don't--How!? Fox: ...Why do you think I have so many awards? Wolffe: You...work hard? Fox: Doing what? Wolffe: Whatever the chancellor tells you to do. Fox: ... Cody: You protect the Senate. Fox: Coruscant. Rex: What? Fox: My duties extend beyond the Senate. I protect Coruscant. Wolffe: Ok, you protect Coruscant. Fox: ...From? Wolffe: Seppies? Fox: That's...part of it. Rex: ... Cody: ... Fox, popping his tongue against the roof of his mouth: Let me lay it out for you three. Fox: While you're out there sniping heads off of comedic relief training dummies, I have to deal with living, breathing, thinking beings. The living and breathing should make them easier to take down, but the thinking makes them unpredictable. I have to account for their individual beliefs, their morals...their sense of honor...all of which throw logic out of the window. It's not easy to land a droid army on Coruscant, so I don't get the pleasure of predictability too often. Rex: ... Fox: Instead, I have to deal with the citizens of this planet, too many of which don't want us here. They shout at us, abuse us, and have even started a market for us. You know...the skin and organ market. Yes and no. Yes, they have actually harvested our skin. No, I don't mean literal skin when I say skin market. Think collars and chains. How many times have you stood between a threat and the people you're duty bound to protect knowing at least one of those people have spat on your men, attacked them, used them like toys, or captured and sold them? My only comfort is knowing I can turn on them the second they're labeled a traitor to the Republic. And I can pick the worst of them off when there are no witnesses. Cody: ...That's-- Fox: On top of that, I have encountered creatures of nightmares because they just dwell in the bowels of this rotting planet or some pieces of garbage brought them here to sell. If you thought I was protected against watching my men get eaten by a wampa, you are sorely mistaken. Although it was the nexu that kept me up at night. For weeks. Who buys those things? Seriously...At least I put some of them down, but who knows how many they sold? Wolffe: ... Fox: The worst creatures are the ones I can't add to my kill count, though. The absolute worst is Chancellor Palpatine. He doesn't know what my job is and assigns me to literally every job in the Coruscant Guard. I have to do it personally. I'm the boss of the people who are supposed to do those jobs. He is the sole reason I will only sleep when I am dead. Fox: The second worst is 99% of the senators. Entitled, egotistical pricks. I would rather be distributed to desperate families looking for organs than catch the eye of any senator. Thire has to remember which ones show a little too much interest in the clones because we are at their mercy. He can't allow a shiny anywhere near them. If a Coruscanti attacks a clone, it's considered damaging government property, making them a criminal. If a senator attacks a clone, it's considered You better do what is best for the Republic and shut your kriffing mouth. Because treating a clone like a complimentary gift isn't betraying the Republic. Risking one of the Republic's delicate alliances is. Cody: Force, Fox... Fox: I deal with all of that while maintaining an impressive record of mission successes. That is why I have so many awards. Wolffe: ...You have awards, but do you want a hug? Fox: Desperately. All day. Every day.

#Commander Fox #Commander Wolffe #Commander Cody #Captain Rex #Coruscant Guard #Vencuyanir ‖ Queue

[saturnsbabyboii]

💚Jupiter Through the Houses💚

(Brought to you by Sailor Jupiter)

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∘₊✧────✧₊∘∘₊✧────✧₊∘∘₊✧────✧₊∘∘₊✧────✧₊∘∘₊✧──��─✧₊∘

Jupiter is the largest planet in our Solar System and holds a significant place in Roman mythology. The gas giant is named after the king of gods and has been associated with abundance, good fortune, and optimism in astrology. People whose charts have Jupiter in a prominent position are often focused on growth and expansion. This is because the planet has a unique ability to expand everything around it. Jupiter symbolizes generosity, spirituality, and ethics, inspiring us to give whenever we can and focus on the bigger picture. Even when Jupiter is in aspect with challenging planets, it offers opportunities to turn those challenges into blessings. Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, and the planet is often associated with the ninth House in the chart wheel, where it operates exceptionally well. Interestingly, Jupiter is exalted in the sign of Pisces, the sign it used to rule before Neptune's discovery.

The position of Jupiter in our natal chart can shed light on where we are most likely to experience good fortune and abundance. In astrology, Jupiter teaches us the values of generosity, open-mindedness, and following the path our soul chose before our birth. Once we have discovered this path, material success is likely to follow. Jupiter symbolizes generosity and adherence to moral principles, embodying universal spiritual laws. By aligning ourselves with our higher selves, as represented in the placement of Jupiter in our natal chart, we can expect to receive greater support and guidance in our journey through life.

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💚Jupiter in the 1st House💚

For those who have Jupiter in this House, they embody all the qualities associated with this planet throughout all aspects of their life. Additionally, if Jupiter is close to the ascendant, it can also be reflected in its physical appearance. These individuals have remarkable optimism, even in the most challenging situations. They have an unwavering belief in themselves, which is fundamental to success. It is worth noting that while Jupiter is often associated with luck, this "luck" is often synonymous with self-confidence. These individuals believe in themselves and their ability to achieve their goals. They are also naturally generous, and the more they give, the more they receive. This placement encourages personal growth and self-expression, which can lead to a magnetic personality. However, individuals with Jupiter in the first House should be mindful of overindulgence and excess, as Jupiter can amplify negative behaviors. Jupiter here would have a significant role/impact on some life areas associated with the first House in astrology, such as the circumstances of your birth, new beginnings, physical appearance, your attitude to the world, and, in general, the impression you leave, the way you carry yourself, the role your family expected you to take up in childhood.

People born with an emphasized Jupiter in their birth charts are strongly inclined towards personal growth and development. Jupiter, the largest planet in our Solar System, encourages us to keep learning and growing. With a strong Jupiter influence in your natal chart, you perceive life as an opportunity to become the best version of yourself. However, one of Jupiter's weaknesses is that it can lead to exaggeration. If your chart is afflicted with Jupiter, you may overestimate your abilities or needs.

In some cases, Jupiter's influence, especially if it's close to the ascendant, can indicate a person with a tendency towards self-indulgence and who is chubby. Therefore, it's vital to stay grounded and in touch with reality. Individuals with Jupiter in the first House usually have good overall health, but they should be mindful of being overweight. Remember that it's always better to underpromise and overdeliver than vice versa. Self-confidence is an essential trait, but overconfidence can lead to painful failures. Jupiter is known as the planet of philosophy in astrology, and individuals with Jupiter in the first House are philosophical. They often contemplate life's purpose, humanity's future, and how they can serve the world. If Jupiter is aspected in your birth chart, this planet colors the planets it comes into contact with its positive energy. Even challenging aspects can transform into positive ones with Jupiter's expanding influence.

Individuals who possess Jupiter in the first House exhibit a spontaneous and welcoming disposition, coupled with an unwavering faith and boundless enthusiasm. Owing to their optimistic and magnanimous personality, they tend to attract people towards them like a magnet. This placement empowers them with the ability to adapt rapidly to any social circle while maintaining an open-minded approach toward different cultures and languages. Their effective communication skills and ability to listen attentively enable them to negotiate and secure fair deals that are satisfactory for all parties involved. Such individuals hold strong ethical and moral principles and enjoy exploring new opportunities with others. While their inherent cheerfulness leaves a lasting impression on others, their candid verbal expressions can sometimes cause conflict. Their leadership qualities and inspiring persona make them well-liked members of their communities. Moreover, they often indulge in philanthropy and lend their support to promote noble causes.

Obtaining something easily can often lead to negative consequences rather than positive ones. You may possess a myriad of positive traits, such as self-assurance, magnetism, and hopefulness. These attributes often attract good fortune. Nevertheless, an absence of the earth element or a weak Saturn in your chart may result in a lack of work ethic. In such instances, you may need to learn the value of persistence and hard work through challenging experiences. Saturn teaches us that long-lasting achievements are attained through diligence, while Jupiter symbolizes quick and effortless gains, similar to winning the lottery. However, be mindful of overindulging food, spending, and overestimating your abilities.

💚Jupiter in the 2nd House💚

Having Jupiter in the second House is a highly favorable placement; it's one of the best planets in this position in the natal chart! This planet of abundance signifies financial prosperity for those who possess it in this House. It suggests that the individual has an innate ability to manage their finances skillfully and make wise investments. Additionally, they tend to be generous with their resources and have a strong sense of self-worth. Individuals with Jupiter in the Second House often experience an abundance of wealth throughout their lifetime. They may come from a financially stable background where they learn about managing finances from an early age.

The second House in astrology represents physical possessions and one's sense of self-worth. This encompasses all that an individual holds dear, including their own value as a person. When Jupiter is placed in this House, it suggests a significant amount of self-confidence, essential for success in any endeavor. This attribute can make one more appealing to potential business partners and lead to greater financial prosperity. One's self-esteem is a precious asset that should be nurtured and valued. However, Jupiter's influence in the second House may also indicate a desire for luxury and pleasure. Those with this placement tend to splurge on expensive items. Spending is an area where you indulge, which can be costly in the long run. However, Jupiter's planetary influence can be both a blessing and a curse in this regard. If Jupiter is afflicted, it can cause you to overdo things, including spending. As a result, you may overspend and overestimate your means, thinking you can easily make more money if needed. Rest assured that you are not likely to live in poverty. 

While Jupiter's impact in this House can increase one's resourcefulness and earning potential, it may also result in excessive spending if not kept in check. Therefore, balancing material desires and spiritual and emotional needs is crucial. With Jupiter in the second House, you possess a natural talent for making money and will likely become financially successful at a young age. People with this placement are reasonably practical and have a knack for making anything profitable. Money comes to you quite effortlessly. Jupiter is also known as the "Greater Benefic," bringing luck and abundance to the matters of the House where it is placed. Along with Venus, Jupiter is one of the best planets to have in the second House.

💚Jupiter in the 3rd House💚

Individuals with Jupiter positioned in the 3rd House are bestowed with an intriguing placement that endows them with a profound sense of intellectual curiosity and exceptional communication skills. They are innately skilled conversationalists who harbor a deep passion for gaining knowledge and discovering novel ideas and philosophies. This placement is also known to confer prosperity and abundance to any house it inhabits, making it an excellent source of good fortune. Those with Jupiter in the 3rd House possess remarkable mental capabilities, evidenced by their vast vocabulary and rapid learning abilities. They effortlessly connect with others and have a vast network of acquaintances hailing from various walks of life. Additionally, they possess extraordinary proficiency in learning languages. These individuals are naturally inquisitive and gregarious, having typically grown up in large families, which has endowed them with excellent social skills. They also possess exceptional rhetorical abilities, and they often experience good luck through writing, communicating, or through their immediate surroundings, as the third House governs the local community. In general, individuals with this placement tend to be extroverted.

Sagittarius is associated with the ninth House, which is ruled by Jupiter. The third House, on the other hand, is focused on collecting and processing information. The Ninth House is where all the information gathered in the third House comes together to form a bigger picture. When Jupiter is in the third House, it acts as a bridge between these two ways of thinking. People with this placement can see connections between seemingly unrelated pieces of information. Jupiter is all about understanding how the world works and the people in it. Those with Jupiter in the third House strongly desire to learn and expand their knowledge. They love to share their ideas with others and are usually extroverted. There is an insatiable hunger for information; they constantly seek new ways to grow and learn. This thirst for knowledge is even more pronounced if Jupiter is in Gemini. People with this placement not only love to learn, but they also enjoy teaching others.

Jupiter's presence in your House of thinking and communication signals a high potential for success in these areas. Jupiter, known for its association with good fortune, ease, and abundance, has an expanding influence on whatever it touches. With Jupiter in the third House, which represents intellect, reasoning ability, and thinking process, individuals tend to be intelligent and adept at utilizing their knowledge effectively. They possess an open-mindedness that is beneficial for gaining knowledge about the world. This placement is associated with higher education and deep learning, making people with this placement curious and interested in learning about different perspectives. However, overconfidence in one's beliefs and ideas can sometimes lead to disagreements or misunderstandings with others. Individuals with Jupiter in the third House are great conversationalists and genuinely interested in hearing others' opinions. This placement indicates a strong inclination toward gaining knowledge and learning, regardless of the sign on the cusp of one's birth chart. Jupiter's positioning in the third House often leads to a keen interest in discussing and reading about philosophy, religion, and social issues. Individuals with Jupiter in the third House tend to learn substantially from their peers, with siblings playing a major role in their education. This placement indicates a talent for learning foreign languages, owing to Jupiter's association with Sagittarius and foreign countries and cultures. Depending on the sign of Jupiter, some individuals may even speak foreign languages fluently without any accent, owing to early exposure or extensive time spent abroad.

When Jupiter is affected, an individual may tend to exaggerate certain aspects of their life. Jupiter is known for expanding everything, both the good and the bad. However, if misused, this quality can lead to complications, where one magnifies things that are useless. Individuals with Jupiter situated in the third House have a tendency to talk excessively, often to the point where it becomes too much. This placement also tends to focus on the bigger picture, which is not necessarily negative, but it is important to keep track of the details of everyday life as well. The Third House is associated with running errands and taking care of necessary tasks that build a foundation for bigger things in life, represented by Jupiter. If Jupiter is situated in the third House, the individual likely comes from a large family, possibly with siblings. The relationship with relatives is usually positive, and they frequently bring good things into one's life. The Third House represents the people who make up your immediate environments, such as neighbors and acquaintances. It also includes your siblings and relatives. When Jupiter is in this House and is not negatively impacted by other planets, it is believed to indicate that these individuals have positively influenced your life. Having Jupiter in the third House also implies that you possess a natural skill for socializing, making you particularly popular among your family and the local community. Your peers play a significant role in your learning process, and interacting with them allows you to better understand the world. Furthermore, your connections bring good fortune into your life. With Jupiter in the third House, you have a unique ability to see the bigger picture and share your optimistic views with others, making you a charismatic public speaker and an engaging storyteller. You are also highly practical, making others turn to you for advice - a role you are happy to take on.

Based on the placement of Jupiter in your natal chart, you can identify the areas where you are most likely to experience positivity and good fortune. Jupiter is an essential indicator of your life's purpose along with the north node. Astrologically, Jupiter symbolizes talent. If Jupiter is located in your third House, you will likely experience good luck in education, communication, writing, or other related areas. Those possessing Jupiter in the third House tend to excel in working with languages and sharing their knowledge. However, it is crucial to consider Jupiter's sign and aspects in your chart to gain a complete understanding. Generally speaking, people with Jupiter in the third House attract abundance when they work as teachers or with children. They often have an active and restless mind, requiring constant mental stimulation. Achieving success may take some time, particularly financially, but individuals with Jupiter in the third House often experience their most prosperous period later in life.

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💚Jupiter in the 4th House💚

The Fourth House in astrology is significant as it represents an individual's family. If Jupiter, a planet known for bringing good luck and positivity, is positioned in this House, it indicates favorable outcomes. However, the placement of Jupiter closer to the cusp of the fourth House, known as IC, amplifies its influence in an individual's chart. Jupiter's placement in the 4th House can indicate a strong desire for a happy and harmonious home life. Such individuals tend to possess a generous and optimistic attitude towards their family and home environment, contributing to their emotional security when surrounded by their loved ones. Furthermore, this placement can also indicate a desire for spiritual or philosophical exploration within one's home life, signifying their inclination towards deeper and meaningful aspects of life.

Jupiter is the planet that represents expansion and abundance. In case your Jupiter is located in the fourth House, it indicates that you hail from a large family and have a positive family life that is full of love and support. Your family is regarded as a great blessing with this placement. The Fourth House is linked with your roots and ancestral heritage, and having Jupiter in this House suggests that you might have inherited some exceptional skills from your ancestors. People with this placement usually grow up in an intellectual environment, surrounded by books and intelligent individuals. As a child, you were likely very wise and intuitive. If you did not inherit material wealth, you inherited an optimistic attitude and family wisdom. You should adhere to the same spiritual beliefs as your parents and ancestors. In astrology, the fourth-tenth house axis is the parental axis in the natal chart. While there are different opinions regarding which House represents which parent, you can check your chart to see where the signs and planets align with your parents' dominant placements. The parent represented by your fourth House likely supported and encouraged you to reach your full potential. Those with Jupiter in the fourth House tend to have a large family, and some family members may have cultural or foreign ties.

If Jupiter is located in the fourth House of your natal chart, it is considered to be accidentally exalted, meaning it is not in its usual ruling position. Instead, this planet is typically associated with the zodiac sign Sagittarius. Still, when found in the fourth House, it is exalted in the character of Cancer, which is linked to home and family. 

Individuals with Jupiter in the fourth House will likely have a spacious and comfortable home, perhaps even a large estate. Real estate investments can be very lucrative for them, especially in foreign countries. Furthermore, these individuals are more likely to remain in their hometown and experience good fortune there. 

While the fourth House is typically associated with beginnings, it can also signify endings and old age. However, with Jupiter in this House, you can expect a life of prosperity and abundance in your later years, as long as the planet is not afflicted. The sign on the cusp and the sign of Jupiter can provide additional information on what this placement may mean for you.

💚Jupiter in the 5th House💚

Your natal chart is a blueprint of the cosmos that holds hidden insights into your destiny. The positioning of Jupiter in your chart is crucial to your potential for success and fulfilling your life purpose. This planet symbolizes prosperity, and its placement in your chart can reveal the areas where you can find abundance and good fortune. 

If Jupiter is present in your fifth House, then you have a solid potential to excel in endeavors related to children and creativity. In addition, this placement offers an excellent opportunity for self-expression and artistic pursuits that can lead to prosperity. In fact, individuals with Jupiter in the fifth House are known to achieve fame and recognition in their creative fields, provided that other aspects of their chart support this possibility. 

However, it is essential to note that individuals with this placement may be drawn to gambling and speculation. The aspects that Jupiter makes with the other planets in the chart can influence the chances of success in these ventures. While a well-aspected Jupiter in the fifth House can bring luck in speculation, exercising good judgment and avoiding being overly optimistic is important. This placement can sometimes cloud your thinking and lead to impulsive decisions. Therefore, it is best to use caution and rational thinking while pursuing your dreams.

Those who possess Jupiter in the fifth House exude a fervent passion for living life to the fullest. They relish the company of others and have a charming and jovial demeanor. Their laughter is contagious, and they genuinely appreciate the gift of life. This planetary position emphasizes the importance of creative self-expression, which often results in favorable outcomes. For individuals with Jupiter in the 5th House, romance and playfulness are integral aspects of their lives. This astrological placement is highly beneficial, bringing forth both joy and ingenuity. It signifies a natural talent for self-expression, whether it be through music, art, or writing. Additionally, it may indicate a strong inclination towards having children and the possibility of being blessed with many offspring. However, it is important to remain cautious of the potential love for gambling and risk-taking. Balancing the desire for excitement with practicality is key.

These people are blessed with an innate ability to take pleasure in life. They are known for being amicable, welcoming, and receptive to new people and experiences. Jupiter in this position also denotes a high level of self-confidence, contributing to their optimistic and daring outlook towards new endeavors. Passionate about adventure, these individuals are playful, creative, and enthusiastic. Their love life is often characterized by an extensive list of romantic partners before settling down, especially if Jupiter is in a fire sign, as they tend to be attracted to older partners. Their love affairs bring immense joy and are inherently generous, with Jupiter's giving qualities being further amplified in the fifth House of Leo. 

In addition to their romantic pursuits, they excel in sports, thanks to Jupiter's energy and expansion, which enhance their abilities. Hobbies are a significant part of their lives, and they have a wide range of interests. These individuals are deeply connected to spirituality, often expressed through their creativity. Jupiter in the Fifth House brings expansion in all areas of life, and many individuals with this placement have large families or work with children. They have a natural talent for performing and are gifted actors who can easily impersonate others. All in all, people with Jupiter in the fifth House are a lively bunch who enjoy life to the fullest.

💚Jupiter in the 6th House💚

The Sixth House significantly influences two crucial aspects of a person's life - their work and their health - despite being classified as a cadent house. When Jupiter is present in this House, it indicates good fortune in both areas. However, it's important to note that individuals with this placement may experience weight gain, and therefore, it's vital to maintain a healthy relationship with food. Those with Jupiter in the sixth House tend to possess a natural talent for finding jobs with ease, and they are highly passionate about their work. They possess excellent organizational skills and have the ability to get along well with their coworkers or employees if they run their own businesses. This placement is known to bring positivity and growth regarding health and work. Individuals with this placement often possess a strong desire to make a difference in their communities and help others. They may also experience fortunate career opportunities, such as promotions or recognition for their hard work. It's essential to understand that Jupiter in the 6th House can influence jobs, health, service, daily routines, and pets, but it should be distinct from a career in the tenth House.

Your work is where you will likely experience the most success with Jupiter in the Sixth House. You have a strong work ethic and tend to find employment quickly, even when the odds are against you. Your job typically pays well and provides opportunities for growth and development. You often experience financial abundance through employment and find satisfaction in learning new things and expanding your horizons. 

Jupiter in the earth houses, such as the second, sixth, and tenth houses in your natal chart, are significant indicators of your career potential. For example, with Jupiter in the sixth House, you may excel in fields related to foreign countries or languages, teaching, education, publishing, animals, health, or customer service. In addition, you have a positive and enthusiastic attitude toward work and are known for your organizational skills, energy, and faith in your success.

You tend to have good relationships with your coworkers and generously share your knowledge with others. You may even hold multiple jobs simultaneously due to your extensive professional connections and good luck in your career. However, it is important to maintain a healthy work-life balance and not neglect other areas of your life. Overall, you are a hard-working and efficient individual who values professionalism and rules as a means of achieving success.

When it comes to the topic of health in astrology, it can be quite intricate and multifaceted. Various astrological components exist to consider, such as the Sun, which represents energy and vitality; Mars, which symbolizes physical strength; and Pluto, which signifies regeneration. However, the Sixth House holds great significance regarding health matters in the chart wheel. It is widely known as the "house of health." Those fortunate enough to have their Jupiter placed in this House are believed to have good health, with Jupiter as a protective force against most illnesses. Moreover, Jupiter's presence in the sixth House indicates that these individuals have good vitality and overall well-being. 

On the other hand, if Jupiter is afflicted in the sixth House, it could lead to self-indulgence and overeating, potentially leading to weight gain and subsequent health problems. Additionally, Jupiter's natural inclination towards expansion can lead to overworking, which can harm one's health. For this reason, it is crucial for those with Jupiter in the sixth House to prioritize relaxation and spending time with loved ones. They should also be mindful of their daily routines and chores, as this is where they tend to excel. Lastly, it is worth noting that people with this placement generally have a fondness for pets and may even own some themselves.

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💚Jupiter in the 7th House💚

When the planet Jupiter is situated in your seventh House, it signifies that you are poised to receive favorable outcomes in your collaborative ventures, whether in business or personal relationships. This placement can be advantageous for you, particularly if you join forces with another individual. Depending on Jupiter's specific aspects and signs, you may experience success in public relations, law, the judicial system, or even as a relationship expert. When Jupiter is positioned in the seventh House, the native House of Libra, it may bring good fortune in legal affairs unless it is heavily influenced by unfavorable factors. Individuals with this placement tend to place a high value on harmonious relationships and possess a strong inclination toward partnerships. They have a tendency to attract individuals who are optimistic, generous, and open-minded. Still, they need to exercise caution and not idealize their partners or set unrealistic expectations.

The Seventh House in astrology is closely linked with Libra, the sign of balance and harmony, and its ruling planet, Venus. This particular House governs all sorts of committed partnerships, including marriage. Depending on your birth chart, the positioning of Jupiter can indicate that you might become luckier once you get married or enter a partnership. It is in having a companion that you can attract good fortune, and for those with Jupiter in the Seventh House, marriage and committed relationships are generally valuable in their lives.

The placement of planets in the seventh House can describe the kind of partner you attract. The sign at the cusp of this House will influence how Jupiter manifests in your life, but typically, your partners will embody the qualities of this planet. For instance, Jupiter in the seventh indicates partners that are often highly educated partners, may have foreign origins, travel frequently, and possess wisdom and philosophical views. Open-minded and tolerant individuals tend to be attractive to those with Jupiter in the Seventh House, and their partners may be older than them.

In addition to personal relationships, the seventh House relates to business partnerships, which may involve international partners or frequent travel. Those with Jupiter in the seventh House tend to be team players and attract partners who help them progress in various aspects of their lives. All in all, the seventh House and its ruling planet Venus represent the importance of partnership and harmony in one's life, and those with Jupiter in this House may experience an extra dose of luck and good fortune in their relationships.

The Seventh House in astrology holds significant insights into an individual's public persona, popularity, and perception by others. If Jupiter finds its placement in the seventh House, it signals a person's ability to conquer adversaries or negative energies that may cross their path. With Jupiter in the Seventh House, individuals enjoy tremendous popularity and boast a vast social circle. They often find themselves sought for advice and considered an authority figure or even a mentor. People with such a placement in their astrological chart are known to possess diverse interests and a profound understanding of the world around them. They tend to thrive in careers that require enthusiasm, like sales or advertising. Moreover, they may also be attracted to legal professions, as Jupiter is closely associated with law, while the seventh House is linked with legal matters.

💚Jupiter in the 8th House💚

The eighth House in astrology is known for its enigmatic and somewhat intimidating nature. It delves into profound themes such as death, trauma, sex, and transformation, among life's most perplexing mysteries. However, despite its seemingly hazardous character, the presence of Jupiter in this House can be profoundly advantageous. Jupiter is widely regarded as the planet of good fortune, abundance, wealth, and luck, essentially the planet of significant financial gains. When Jupiter is situated in the eighth House, it frequently brings luck in matters related to this House. Moreover, this placement can indicate an individual with a deep interest in spiritual and metaphysical subjects and a yearning to explore the mysteries of life and their psyche. Individuals with Jupiter in the Eighth House are often highly intuitive and perceptive, with a fascination for taboo topics such as death and the afterlife.

The Eighth House is renowned for being a secretive place that only reveals its mysteries through trials of pain and suffering. Such experiences, known as Plutonian, can lead to a profound transformation of oneself, either for the better or the worse. Death, near-death experiences, and crises are all associated with this House. However, the positive energy of Jupiter can provide protection during these perilous times. It is worth noting that the planets in the eighth House remain dormant until a crisis emerges, at which point they come to the forefront. Therefore, individuals with Jupiter in the eighth House have a significantly higher chance of survival and full recovery when faced with life-threatening situations. 

Furthermore, the eighth House signifies rebirth and regeneration, and Jupiter's presence enhances these abilities. Those with this placement often exhibit a spiritual inclination and a curiosity toward topics related to death and the occult. Jupiter in the eighth House may also indicate psychic abilities and heightened intuition. 

Notably, the eighth House is also associated with sexual desires, and Jupiter's influence in this House suggests a strong sexual appetite and an attraction to affluent partners. Despite potential heartbreak, individuals with Jupiter in the eighth House possess an extraordinary ability to recover emotionally. In conclusion, the Eighth House represents transformation, and with Jupiter's added influence, it provides a personal philosophy that may be shaped by traumatic events or crises.

There are various ways in which money and financial gain can enter into one's life. It may be earned through personal efforts or received from external sources. The eighth House of astrology relates explicitly to acquiring wealth through other people. An individual with Jupiter positioned in the eighth House and in harmony with the rest of their chart is considered fortunate. Those with this placement often inherit substantial sums of money, marry someone wealthy, or receive financial benefits through other means. They may also accumulate wealth through joint resources. Furthermore, they are likely to excel in tax collecting, banking, and financial advising professions. 

It is noteworthy that Jupiter's influence over the Eighth House also extends to matters relating to surgery, investigations, and death. Therefore, individuals with this placement may also experience financial success in these domains. However, it is crucial not to let greed take over. Jupiter is known to reward generosity and benevolence, and taking advantage of its kindness can lead to unforeseen crises. Therefore, exercising caution and adhering to moral principles is essential, especially if Jupiter is afflicted in one's chart. Ethical values play a significant role in financial affairs and may cause conflicts if they differ from those of one's colleagues.

💚Jupiter in the 9th House💚

In the realm of astrology, the placement of Jupiter in the ninth House is regarded as a particularly auspicious occurrence. This is because Jupiter experiences what is known as accidental dignity, which means that it feels a powerful connection to this particular House. As such, individuals who possess this placement in their natal chart are often gifted with an unshakable faith in life, which is closely aligned with the mission of the ninth House. 

Indeed, those with Jupiter in the Ninth House are often optimistic visionaries with a keen ability to conceptualize and plan for the future. In addition, they possess a bright, inquisitive minds and are naturally drawn to studying philosophy and contemplating life's profound questions. With a well-aspected Jupiter in the Ninth House and other indicators in the birth chart, an individual may even become famous for their knowledge and educational pursuits.

However, not just intellectual pursuits are associated with this placement. Those with Jupiter in the Ninth House are often driven by a sense of adventure and exploration, a deep moral compass, and a desire to positively impact the world. This is why careers in law, politics, religion, or education often appeal to individuals with this placement. 

Regarding the areas of life influenced by Jupiter's placement in the ninth House, we can look to higher education, interactions with foreign cultures and countries, long-distance travel, spirituality, and personal growth. Indeed, individuals with this placement may find themselves drawn to these areas of life as they seek to understand their place in the world and fulfill their desired purpose in life.

If your astrology chart indicates that you have the ninth house placement, it is highly recommended that you take frequent journeys to far-off lands. This House is closely associated with long-distance travel, and if Jupiter is present in this House, it is a sign that you are destined for good fortune abroad or in foreign cultures. Those with this placement will likely settle down in foreign lands, especially if other astrological indicators align with this outcome. 

Traveling is a rewarding experience in many ways, as it broadens your perspectives and helps you gain a deeper appreciation for diverse cultures. Furthermore, Jupiter in the Ninth House is linked to financial gains through foreign cultures, education, or spirituality. People with this placement are language experts and may work in fields that require multilingual abilities. 

Individuals with Jupiter in the Ninth House are renowned for their open-mindedness and tolerance, as they relish the diverse cultures, languages, and religions they encounter. They have a natural curiosity about the world and thrive on adventure. Education is highly valued by those with this placement, and pursuing higher education is often the key to unlocking financial gain. Those with Jupiter in the Ninth House are lifelong learners who enjoy sharing their ideas.

The ninth House in astrology is strongly associated with the higher mind, and if Jupiter is present in this House, it indicates a profound interest in spirituality and philosophy. Those with Jupiter in the ninth House have a natural inclination toward these topics and are inclined to acquire a great deal of knowledge about them. In your birth chart, Jupiter and the Ninth House reveal your personal beliefs, which evolve as you gain more experience. Your views serve as a compass, guiding you in the right direction and helping you make informed decisions. Essentially, they are more important than you give them credit for. If Jupiter is in the ninth House, you may place great importance on living according to your beliefs. While you may not adhere to any particular religion, you are religious in your own way and possess a strong spiritual side. You enjoy learning about how different cultures perceive these topics and have an open mind. Furthermore, you hold yourself to a higher moral standard than most people, and others may look to you for guidance. However, it is crucial to be mindful of becoming too self-righteous or arrogant. In astrology, the ninth House is also associated with in-laws. If Jupiter is in this House, your in-laws are likely well-educated, of good social standing, and possibly religious. Jupiter also represents your husband, who may be well-educated and of foreign origin, but may also come across as preachy and insensitive to others' views.

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💚Jupiter in the 10th House💚

When Jupiter is positioned in the tenth House, it brings luck and abundance to one's career. This House is linked to Capricorn and the planet Saturn; It is regarded as the highest point in an individual's natal chart. It symbolizes their public reputation and career trajectory. The Midheaven, also known as MC, is a critical point in astrology and marks the cusp of the tenth House. Planets placed here tend to have a tremendous influence on the chart, with the tenth House being associated with ambition, employers, authority figures, one's parents, and how the world perceives them. The placement of Jupiter in the tenth House is seen as a sign of tremendous success in one's endeavors. It can lead to outstanding achievements and pave the way for a successful career. People with this placement may opt for careers in international business, travel, foreign languages, education, management, and philosophy. Jupiter is considered the planet of prosperity. Hence, having it in the tenth House can bring significant financial success. If Jupiter is closely placed to the Midheaven, it becomes even more powerful. However, individuals with this placement must maintain balance and focus only a little on their careers at the expense of their personal life and relationships. Those with Jupiter in the 10th House possess natural leadership abilities, strong ethics, and integrity, and they may even become authority figures or leaders in their field. They may also have a desire to make a positive impact on society through their work.

Those with this placement tend to have a relatively smooth career path, but avoiding relying solely on luck is crucial. While Jupiter's generosity can be beneficial, it is not always guaranteed. To maximize the positive influence of this placement, one must merge hard work with Jupiter's auspicious energy.

Having Jupiter in the tenth House endows individuals with exceptional leadership skills, making them a natural fit for fields like business or politics. In addition, their infectious enthusiasm and captivating charisma earn them the trust and respect of those around them. The tenth House's planets typically have a more significant impact later in life, but Jupiter can bring success early on in one's career. However, one must be mindful of Jupiter's negative traits, such as becoming overly arrogant and preoccupied with status, to prevent them from taking over.

Your public image and reputation are greatly influenced. These individuals are endowed with leadership qualities and the ability to become well-known in various fields, such as politics, education, or even managing celebrities. They're ambitious and career-driven. Furthermore, this placement often gives the impression of being a person of high moral values, even if Jupiter is not afflicted or if no other planets are involved. 

You are likely to be bothered by injustices and possess strong moral values. Oftentimes, individuals with this placement are perceived as spiritual or religious. Additionally, Jupiter encourages the exploration of foreign cultures, language learning, and traveling. Therefore, the Tenth House is ideal for individuals with this Jupiter placement to pursue teaching.

The tenth House can also indicate your relationship with one of your parents, usually your father. This parent is typically well-educated, respected, and comes from a good family. They may also have a connection to foreign cultures or countries. With challenging aspects, they could come off as preachy. However, having Jupiter in this placement suggests that this parent positively influenced your life. Furthermore, the Tenth House also represents your approach to authority figures. If Jupiter is present in this placement, it indicates that you learned a lot from your bosses, and they often favored you unless there are afflictions in your natal chart.

💚Jupiter in the 11th House💚

Individuals with their natal Jupiter in the eleventh House have the potential to attain their goals with relative ease. This is because the planet Jupiter, which represents good fortune, luck, and abundance, is especially advantageous when positioned in this House. The eleventh House is associated with aspirations and desires, and Jupiter's placement here can provide a significant boost to your plans by uncovering resources that were previously unknown to you. 

Those with Jupiter in the eleventh House tend to possess a strong yearning for social groups and organizations and often have a vast network of friends and acquaintances. They may also have a keen interest in traveling, cultural exchange and gaining knowledge from individuals with varying backgrounds and outlooks. In terms of occupation, they prefer team-based professions, as like-minded individuals can introduce novel opportunities into their lives. However, if Jupiter receives challenging aspects, individuals with this placement may struggle with perseverance and follow-through.

If the eleventh House in your chart is prominently emphasized, it signifies a proclivity toward humanitarian ideals. However, it is crucial to bear in mind that the impact of the planets in this House, along with your own personal choices, will determine whether you channel this energy constructively or destructively. The presence of Jupiter in the eleventh House suggests that you possess a generous disposition coupled with a strong moral compass unless it is afflicted or contradicted by other factors in your chart. Individuals with this placement tend to contemplate deeply societal structures and may harbor a keen interest in sociology. Humanitarian causes often become a passion for those with this placement. Nevertheless, if Jupiter is afflicted, you may become self-righteous and utilize others for personal gain, leading to negative consequences. Overall, this placement connotes progressive and open-minded views which embrace novel ideas and concepts. It may also signify having a large family or engaging in adoption.

The Eleventh House in astrology symbolizes the realm of friendship and groups, revealing the associations and organizations you belong to. If Jupiter is positioned in this House, you have a wide-ranging network of acquaintances. Jupiter, the planet of expansion and growth, multiplies everything it touches. Thus, with Jupiter in the eleventh House, your social circle will likely be composed of highly educated, intelligent, and linguistically diverse citizens of the world. Your network may comprise influential individuals who can help advance your career. The eleventh House is a succedent house, reinforcing the preceding angular houses. Therefore, the resources of your eleventh House bolster your tenth House of the profession, contributing to your success. Jupiter in the eleventh House is exceptionally optimistic in the natal chart, emphasizing the importance of social life to you and your charismatic and cheery demeanor. You are open-minded and eager to learn from everyone you encounter. With this placement, you excel at networking, readily establishing new connections, and nurturing relationships. However, if Jupiter has challenging aspects, you may be inclined to exploit your connections and friends, manipulating them to do your bidding without returning the favor.

💚Jupiter in the 12th House💚

The positioning of Jupiter in the Twelfth House brings rare and exceptional energy to the native. It can be likened to having an additional guardian angel, a higher force that operates in secrecy to safeguard you. This subtle energy acts as a beautiful aid when all seems lost, often resulting in individuals with Jupiter in the twelfth House experiencing good fortune in life. The twelfth households a sense of familiarity for Jupiter as it is linked to the Pisces zodiac sign, which was once recognized as Jupiter's ruling planet. Having Jupiter in the Twelfth House typically signifies a strong inclination toward spirituality, with individuals possessing a profound understanding of human emotions and the ability to empathize with others deeply. However, it is vital to maintain a balance between spiritual pursuits and social life to prevent oneself from becoming too secluded. In this placement, Jupiter deals with matters of self-undoing, isolation, medical facilities, correctional institutions, monasteries, distant places, religion, dreams, divine inspiration, spirituality, mental health, and the unconscious mind.

Those with Jupiter in the Twelfth House are naturally drawn to spirituality. Their inclination towards this facet of life is intrinsic and inseparable from their identity. These individuals exhibit a remarkable level of conscientiousness, holding themselves to moral standards that surpass the norm. They are dedicated to doing what is right, even if it brings no personal gain. This indicates an old soul possessing a depth of wisdom and maturity that surpasses their age. Often feeling misunderstood and isolated, they find solace in solitary activities, such as writing and creative endeavors. They hold a deep appreciation for art and philosophy, which profoundly moves them. Despite the Twelfth House being associated with hidden enemies in astrology, Jupiter's positive influence can transform adversaries into allies. Even in the presence of secret foes, Jupiter can diminish hostility and provide a sense of protection.

Water houses in astrology, the fourth, eighth, and twelfth houses, are deemed karmic dwellings, indicating that one may carry unresolved karmic baggage that needs to be addressed in this lifetime. Among these houses, the twelfth House plays a significant role, as it is believed that the planets placed in this House can profoundly impact one's life. In particular, Jupiter's placement in the Twelfth House is regarded as a positive influence, as it implies that the soul was eager to be born in this lifetime, and success may come with less resistance in matters related to the Twelfth House. Individuals who have Jupiter in the Twelfth House may experience a sense of isolation or detachment from their community, but they may find success by exploring opportunities abroad. By comprehending the influence of Jupiter, one can attract good fortune and align with the moral laws of the universe.

Individuals with planets in their twelfth House may exhibit an enhanced sensitivity toward loud and vibrant surroundings, making them feel overwhelmed and overstimulated. Such individuals are likely to be acutely sensitive to loud noises, potent scents, and circumstances requiring quick responses. The celestial bodies occupying this House can heighten their awareness of subtle energies around them, thereby strongly influencing their senses. Individuals with twelfth-house placements must allocate sufficient time to recharge their energies. If Jupiter is located in their twelfth House and the Moon is present in a water sign, they may possess a powerful intuition that must be trusted. This intuition is how their higher self communicates with them. Pursuing solitary activities such as meditation, journaling, or merely spending time alone can significantly benefit such individuals. If Jupiter is retrograde in their birth chart, their need for solitude may be further accentuated. It is imperative to embrace their rich inner life and never suppress it, as doing so may cause long-term damage.

∘₊✧────✧₊∘∘₊✧────✧₊∘∘₊✧────✧₊∘∘₊✧────✧₊∘∘₊✧────✧₊∘

Byeee 💚

#astrology #astro notes #astro observations #astrology notes #astrology observations #jupiter #jupiter in the houses #astrology houses

[moon-rivr]

for the first time

part two of still beating

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader

contents: smut, oral (f receiving), somehow even more angst, death, blood

author’s note: should i be mentally preparing for the ‘when i catch you ricky’ comments 🌚 all jokes aside, thank you for all the suggestions that you guys sent <3

word count: 4.1K

still beating (part one)

Leaving the Spider Society was much easier than you expected it to be, nobody really questioning you out of the belief that it was because of what Miguel had done. While seeing his face around the building everyday wasn't exactly the most pleasant feeling, the main reason as to why you'd left was to be able to carry out the pregnancy in peace. You wanted to rid yourself of the stresses that came along with being in the society, those including the ones that were caused by your coworkers. You started the process of removing yourself from the society slowly, starting out with coming into the building less and less. Before anyone could realize what your intentions had been, you had already left.

"Make sure you come to visit us, okay? We can't wait to see you with the baby," Gwen told you as you were getting ready to leave everything behind. You knew that hiding out in your universe was too risky, that it would be the first place that Miguel would ever think to look for you so you decided to take refuge in another universe. "I'll do that, stay safe. And take care of each other," you responded, her arms wrapping around your torso ever so gently. After the initial interaction that the both of you had, the two of you started going out for lunch and hosting game nights with Hobie and Pav. You glanced over at Hobie who leaned against the wall, knowing that he'd be less receptive towards a hug.

You extended your hand out, his engulfing yours as he dapped you up. "Take care of yourself, lass. And of the lil one there," Hobie told you as he let go of your hand, getting off from the wall before glancing over at Gwen. They were about to leave before you decided to call out to them once more, a small smile on your face as you looked at them. "Thank you for everything, You guys didn't need to show me the kindness that you did," you told them, a curt nod from both of them in response before they walked away. You looked down at the small duffel bag you'd packed with a few pairs of clothes and some bare necessities, wondering if this was the best decision though you already knew the answer, tapping some buttons on your gizmo to open up a portal.

Before you could leave the universe, you knew that there was something that you should do first. You ended up at an apartment on the Lower East Side, nimble fingers knocking on the door as you waited for some type of response. After waiting for what seemed to be around five minutes, you decided to turn around and start to head back home when you heard the door open. Miguel's girlfriend before you stood in front of the door, her expression painted with annoyance as she looked at you. You'd considered if this was truly a good idea for a couple minutes before coming here, ultimately deciding that you should at least offer her an apology for your actions.

"Come in," she finally spoke up for a minute, almost like she was expecting Miguel to appear behind you. You stepped into her apartment, immediately getting welcomed by the smell of wood burning at the fire place. You glanced over at the sofa she was sitting at, your eyes silently asking her if you could take a seat. She nodded, motioning for you to take a seat and so you did. "I'm sorry about what I did to you. I should've respected you and your relationship at the time but I let my selfish desires get the best of me," your apology came out a bit awkward, but it was genuine.

"I'm not sure that Miguel or I respected our relationship all that much at the time, but you're right. It was really fucking awful seeing him with you, acting the way that I wanted him to for months," she responded, folding her arms across her chest. "With that being said, I acknowledge the courage that it must've taken you to come here and I respect the fact that you're willing to look me in the eye to apologize. But I don't forgive you," she added, making your head lower a bit in shame. "You're completely entitled to that. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry about the way things went down. And I hope that you don't think him cheating was a reflection on you, you seem like a very lovely person," you finished up, getting up from the couch after you finished speaking.

You knew that expecting forgiveness was a bit of a long stretch, but at least you felt that weight of guilt lifted off of you the slightest bit. As you stepped out on the street, you tapped a couple buttons on your gizmo to a random universe before taking off your watch when the portal appeared. You stepped inside, unsure of what to expect out of the new environment that you would be living in from now on. The universe that you'd landed on only had a few minor differences such as tree placement and the billboards that were present, otherwise remaining a perfect copy of Earth-928. You made your way down the streets, finding that the streets were the same as what they used to be. You stopped in front of the coffee shop that you used to frequent, deciding to get yourself a drink.

You weren't trying too hard to forget about what Miguel had made you feel, but you felt all the air leave your lungs as you looked at this version of him. It felt exactly like the first time you'd seen him, only now with the previous memories of what the other one had done. You'd bumped into him after you were making your way out of the coffee shop, your cup spilling to the floor as a result. This version of him looked like he was 25-26, still in graduate school based off the books he was gripping so tightly in his arms. "Sorry about that, are you okay?" He asked, your eyes drifting up to his face. "I'm okay, sorry about bumping into you. I wasn't paying attention," you lied to him, rubbing the back of your neck.

The truth was, you'd seen him walking out of the Alchemax building across the street and you decided to do the most logical thing, put yourself in his way and 'bump' into him. "Since you spilled your coffee, I can make it up to you by buying you a new one," he suggested, his eyes darting from your spilled cup back to your face. "You don't have to do that, it was my fault," you responded, feeling slightly guilty for the way that you'd chosen to approach this version of Miguel. While you knew that they shared essentially everything about their physical appearance in common, you also knew that you had to approach them as two different people rather than using methods you used on the other Miguel to compensate.

"Well yes, I know that I technically don't have to do anything. But I'm suggesting it to you because I want to," he added, stepping off to the side and opening the door of the coffee shop for you. You stepped inside as he followed suit behind you, standing in the line with you. "I'm Miguel, it's nice to meet you. I can't help but feel like maybe I’ve seen you before," he spoke up after a while, the line moving slowly. You told him your name and dismissed away his concern by telling him that you had a very generic face. "I don't think so, you have the kind of face that's hard to forget. your aura's very.. alluring," he responded to that before the barista called the both of you over.

The two of you sat down, the exchange a bit awkward as you stirred at your coffee with your straw. "What are you studying?" You decided to break the silence and ask him a couple questions about himself, taking a sip from your coffee. "I'm majoring in genetics at Alchemax, though my undergrad was mostly biology based. and you, what'd you study for?" He asked, leaning over the table slightly as you told him your answer. "So why genetics?" You followed up, hoping that he'd be more receptive to answering questions about himself than his other version was.

"Frankly, the main reason I chose to get into genetics was because my father works at Alchemax so I kind of grew up around that environment. But I want to make some kind of change in the world and the way that diseases are managed rather than take advantage of the resources that are given like most geneticists end up doing," he explained, allowing you to get a glimpse of just how protective and caring he seemed to be past his exterior.

The conversation flowed easily between the two of you, having you delve into some details about your life without elaborating too much on where you were from before he had told you that he had to go. "Sorry about that, i have to go pick up my brother Gabriel from soccer practice since I took the car today. I'd love to talk to you more if you're down, Do you mind giving me your number?" he told you before he he left, looking at you expectantly. You hadn't even thought about that aspect moving into this universe, your mind rushing to make up an excuse that didn't make you seem uninterested in him. "I just got my phone stolen actually. I'm about go get a new one though, if you want to give me your phone number instead," you responded, watching as he grabbed a napkin and a pen to scribble down his number.

Despite the fact that you'd rushed off to buy a cell phone after your interaction with Miguel, you couldn't help but feel hesitant as you played with the paper he'd given you. The knowledge that you were an anomaly in this universe wasn't lost upon you, that even with every breath that you took, you were threatening the balance of this universe and the natural flow of events. You knew that just by texting Miguel at this moment, you'd possibly be disturbing with the stability of the canon. But no matter how wrong it felt to do it, being around him and talking to him just felt so right and easy.

You: Hey, it's the girl from the coffee shop :-) it was really nice talking to you

Miguel: Hey! I was looking forward towards your text, I really had a good time with you today. I hope you don't mind me being forward but would you like to hangout some other time?

You: Before we do, there's actually something I have to disclose to you.

Miguel: Oh no, you're an alien right?

You: Not quite LOL, just pregnant.

You bit down on your lower lip as you waited for a text back from him, feeling uneasy at the way he would react. You counted down the seconds as he typed out his response, anticipation building up as you saw the bubbles appearing on your screen.

Miguel: That doesn't change my opinion on you, I still want to get to know you better if the baby daddy doesn't have any objections towards that.

You: No, you don't have to worry about that, he's not in the picture.

Miguel: Okay, well there's this Italian restaurant with really good pasta on 80th street. I'm free on Saturday at 7 if that works for you.

You: See you then :)

The first date with Miguel went better than you'd expected, the rush of excitement that you'd felt when seeing him the first time sticking throughout the whole experience. Dates between the two of you were simple, having a good time no matter where the two of you ended up. He made you sure to be consistent with the attention that he was giving you after that despite the many commitments in his life, such as finishing up grad school, having an internship at Alchemax, and tutoring a kid named Peter Parker. He made sure to bring you your favorite flowers at the beginning of each new date, often spoiling you with whatever you had a craving for that day. A couple of months had passed since you had started the relationship with Miguel, the feeling of bliss never ending whenever you were with him.

The two of you were out walking in the street after catching a movie, his arm wrapped around your shoulders as he held you close to him. "Miguelll, I'm kinda hungry for some Chipotle. I have such a craving for Mexican food," you whined, feeling your stomach grumble afterwards. "I'm gonna pretend like you didn't just say Chipotle was Mexican food and move on to my next point. They just closed so you're gonna have to pick somewhere else," he answered, a hint of amusement in his tone. "It's called Chipotle Mexican Grill," you countered, hearing him let out a small groan. "I can take you back to my place. I made some carne guisada earlier," he suggested, your mouth watering at just the anticipation. (stewed meat)

"This is like the best thing ever," you practically moaned out as you bit into the piece of meat that he'd given you. "Better than Chipotle, you'd say?" He asked, sitting down across from you as you ate. "Definitely. I mean, I like chipotle but for some reason their beans always make me have to go to the bathroom," you responded, not really measuring your words as you spoke. "Well, my food's never been the result of anyone's chorro so I think you'll be good," he told you, pouring you a small glass of water before setting it down. "Where'd you learn how to cook like this?" You inquired, watching as brows knitted together before he spoke again. "My mom's Mexican so there was always that sort of element around the house. I ended up visiting a couple years back and I sort of learned the cuisine from the locals."

You and Miguel were laying down in bed after dinner, his head in between your legs since he'd read somewhere that orgasms were good for the cramps that you'd been having. "Miguel, would you still like me if I was a worm?" You asked him, feeling his tongue circle around your clit before stopping. "You're asking me this right now?" He asked, looking up at you as his fingers went inside of you. "Yes. More specifically, a pregnant worm," you elaborated, a small chuckle coming out of his mouth as he shook his head. "Yes, I’d love you even if you were a pregnant worm. I'd stick you in my pocket and take you to work. Feed you little insects and whatnot," he responded, his mouth going back to what it was doing before.

Your mouth parted as you felt his tongue running across your folds, collecting the slick that'd been dripping out from his ministrations. You felt yourself unraveling with every stroke of his tongue, your pleasure being his priority in the moment as he plunged his fingers deep into your cunt. You felt yourself clench around the two fingers he had inside of you, your slick coating them to provide with an easier access. "Don't stop, please," you begged, feeling yourself approaching that familiar point of an orgasm. "Don't worry nena, I wasn't planning to," he told you, keeping the same pace as he worked you through your orgasm. Your fingers fisted at his hair, hitting your peak just a couple seconds later.

You woke up the next morning, feeling incredibly relieved. you weren't too sure if Miguel was right about the orgasms or if it was simply because you'd slept near him, but you didn't have it in you to question it. He'd gotten up earlier than you, already dressed in a button down and and jeans by the time you were up. "I can leave if you want me to. I don't want to impose," you told him, getting up from the bed as you tried to fix up your sleep ridden appearance. "I don't mind, you can stay here. I think I'll be home late from work but I'll send you a message to confirm later. Te quiero, stay safe," he told you, leaning over to kiss you on the forehead before he went out to his class.

A lingering feeling followed you throughout the evening, a feeling of impending doom and misery. You’d been helping out around the city when you weren’t with Miguel but you'd chosen to skip out on patrolling the city tonight, figuring that the Spider-Man of this universe could handle the task and decided to treat yourself a bit with some snacks from a bodega near by. You looked down at your phone, biting down at your bottom lip as you scrolled through the vast majority of texts that Miguel had sent you. He'd simply told you that he would be staying late today because he had something to finish up at work but the more time that passed, the more that your concern grew. Seven o'clock turned into eight, eight turning into nine.

You didn't want to be that type of clingy partner, but you grabbed a spare key card and decided to go pay Miguel a visit at work to make sure he was doing okay. The sounds of sirens distracted you from your worry, the police car practically zooming down the street as other cars opened up a pathway for it to pass. You weren't sure what it was, whether it was a form of intuition or simply just a gut feeling, but you decided to follow that cop car. Police tape had been set up at the scene where the cop car stopped at, a crowd building up around it. The snacks that you'd eaten earlier began to taste bitter in your mouth as you made your way through the crowd, eyes widening as you saw the person laying there.

Your airway felt constricted as you looked down at the floor, seeing Miguel on the floor with a gunshot wound to his chest. You could feel people looking at you as you struggled to breathe, but your attention was solely on the man lying in the cold pavement while the police waited for the coroner to arrive. "Ma'am?" A police officer asked, wanting to evaluate the situation before making any sudden movements. "Please, let me through. That's my boyfriend," you pleaded, managing to get the words out despite how heavy your tongue felt in your own mouth. Your caution about getting caught by this universe's Spider-Man went out the window, simply concerned about assessing Miguel. The officer asked one of his partners if all the evidence was collected before letting you into the scene.

You got down on the pavement, practically on your knees as your hand reached over to grab Miguel's. The usual warmth that he exuded was gone, simply replaced by the cold reminder of death. You kept looking over at him, almost expecting him to rise and tell you that it was just a cruel joke and that everyone had been in on it. You looked down at the puddle of blood that built up around him, the life escaping from his body with every liter that he'd lost. The police explained to you that according to the security footage from a store nearby, he got cornered by a couple men in a ski mask in the alley. They'd threatened him for his wallet and other personal belongings, shooting him when he'd resisted far too much. You reached into his pockets, finding out that they’d taken his things after they’d shot him which meant the resistance he’d put up had been for naught.

You knew that Miguel's death was a canon event for the Spider-Man of this universe, that losing a mentor was necessary for the self-perseverance that Peter had building up but you didn't understand why it had to be your Miguel. You'd never felt so useless and guilty in your life, thinking about how maybe you've could've stopped this if you'd just gone on patrol for the night. Though it might've done more harm to the universe than good, you wanted to be selfish and just feel Miguel's embrace one more time. Feel the warmth of his hugs as he held you close to his chest, his head resting on top of yours.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you forced yourself to trudge forward and head home before you ended up getting robbed in the middle of the street too. Left foot forward, right foot follow. You felt yourself having to make the involuntary movements that your body naturally made, the exhaustion of the day taking its toll on you. You stopped in the middle of the street, feeling a burning sensation in your throat as you leaned over to vomit. You weren't sure if it was the snacks that you'd had earlier or an effect of what you'd seen earlier, possibly a combination of the both of them. When you stood up straight and wiped away the vomit from your face, your attention immediately went to the portal appearing in front of you.

Talons ripped the ends of the portal, almost like the person behind it was too impatient to wait for it to open. Miguel came out and looked over at you, deactivating the head piece of his costume just so you could see the annoyance that this little stunt had caused him. "We need to talk," he told you, making it seem like you were in rather for a scolding than having a simple conversation. His eyes flickered down to the little bump on your belly, his eyes softening just the slightest bit before he looked up at you with that cold expression once more. There was nothing promising in this universe for you anymore, so you decided to follow him back to the Spider Society.

Miguel led you to his office once the two of you arrived back at the society, the stares and whispers of the other members following suit. "LYLA, don't have anyone bother me right now," Miguel spoke up, his assistant appearing and nodding before disappearing off once more. You waited for him to say something to you, anything to make this conversation go faster so you didn't have to be in the same room with him much longer. The sensation of wanting to be the furthest away from him right now felt foreign to you, especially when you often longed for the moment that he would pay some attention to you even if it was only for a couple seconds. "Do you have any idea of the damage that you could've done to that universe had you interfered with any canon event?!"

Seeing Miguel's anger felt strange to you, always having seen it directed towards someone else rather than towards you. You weren't sure if you should try to give him your explanation or let him yell it out, choosing to go for the first option. "Nothing happened though! At least nothing that wasn't supposed to," You responded, starting to feel a bit lightheaded. You padded over to a spare chair he had in his office, his back hunching over his desk the same way you'd seen many times before. "I want to be mad for you for doing such a stupid thing but I realize that i'm the one that led you to that," he spoke up after a couple seconds, facing you once more as he rubbed a hand through his chest.

You were expecting for that to be the end of the 'conversation', standing up from your spot to leave his office. "Hou don't know how hard it was to look at you through those monitors and see you getting the attention you deserved from a variant of myself. You don't know how much I longed for that to be me, to be me that you called when you had a craving for Chipotle in the middle of the night or be the one that you confided in," he spoke up before you had the chance to leave, your head turning so fast that you almost gave yourself whiplash. "You could've had that. Everything that happened was your fault," you replied, your voice showing no remorse for what happened. "You think I don't know that? I’m well aware of what I did, but I still selfishly want to be a part of your life and the baby’s," His voice sounded pained as he spoke, his figure approaching you slowly.

"Please. Just give me the chance to be in our baby's life. That's all I ask of you," he pleaded,  desperation evident from the way that he looked at you with such longing. "You have some nerve still asking for something from me! Do you expect me to forget about everything and want me to co-parent with you?!" Your voice boomed through the empty office, your voice bouncing through the walls as they made their way into Miguel's ears. "Please, I'm begging you. I just want the opportunity to be a father to our baby," he added, reaching out to grab you before his hands fell slack by his sides. "NO!" You responded, a sudden pop coming out between your legs as a gush of liquid followed suit.

@mimiemie @laysmt @6thhokageswife @mochimoqa @nifeout @loonalockley @syrzx

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