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helen-with-an-a · 20 days

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I am an adult pt 4

Hi. So this is pt 4 of the I am an adult. I really liked writing it and hope you enjoy it too. I definitely want to do a 5th part but I'm not sure about how many more after that I will do (if you get what I mean). Also, all of the German and Spanish is from google/google translate so if it's wrong, I apologise

Barca Femeni x Reader ; Lena Oberdorf x Reader

Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 3.5 : Part 4

Description: Lena gets the talk

Word Count: 4.1k

TW: Slight smut (undescribed/suggestive rather than outright)

You weren’t used to waiting at airports for people. Usually, you were the one who was walking off the plane to visit friends and family. But you couldn’t deny the excitement bubbling up – just thinking about who would be walking through the door made you smile. You didn’t quite know the protocol for meeting your long-distance girlfriend off a flight. You were nervous about it – wanting to do it right. You may have gotten into a bit of a TikTok wormhole over couples reuniting; most people went with flowers and a sign, but you were staying in an unfamiliar city for both of you, and you did have a match to play. It was something you agonised over for days before the arrival. Having consulted an unhelpful Ona, a laughing Patri and an amused Jana, you settled on asking Alexia. That was an adult thing to talk about, right?

“Um … Ale, can I … can I ask you something?” You said as you curled up on her sofa.

“Of course, pequeña. Esta todo bien?”

“Yeh, um … it’s about Lena, actually” That might have been a bad way to phrase it. Alexia’s face dropped, her gaze becoming a little icy.

“Que hizo ella?” Her voice was just as cold.

“Nothing, nothing, prometo.” You reassured her. “I wanted to ask you what to get her for the airport,” you explained quietly, a little apprehensive over her response.

“Oh, cariño.” Alexia cooed, pulling her legs up to tuck underneath her as she twisted to face you, her hand reaching along the back of the sofa to pick at the corner of the cushion. “Honestly, I don’t think she’d be expecting anything. I certainly wouldn’t if Olga and I met somewhere in the middle.” Her look softened even more as you nodded furiously, eyes locked on her patterned carpet. She could see you sag ever so slightly – clearly, you wanted to get Lena something. “I think, if you really want to get her something,” she continued, smiling as you perked up at her response. “You could do something small – like a … ugh, what’s the word …” She was so fluent in English you often forgot that it was technically her third language. “It’s small and fluffy; you give it to niñas,” she clicked frantically, clearly trying hard to remember. “Un oso de peluche,” she sighed, wracking her brain to remember the English word.

“A teddy bear?” You asked, helping her out slightly.

“Sí, sí, a teddy bear. You could get her one of those? It would be small enough for her to pack away when she travels, and it is something she can keep with her when she’s back in Germany.” You smiled at her suggestion – nodding happily at her words.

The day was finally here. You were finally seeing Lena again. Madrid airport was a little struggle to navigate but you stood, buzzing with excitement, as you waited at arrivals. You looked down at the goodies you had with you – a little bag filled with a very cute and very fluffy teddy bear, some Spanish sweets, and an iced coffee in your hand. You had also packed a few extra jumpers to sneak into Lena’s bag before she left.

L💚: Just got through passport control and stuff

L💚: I’ll be maybe 5/10 more mins

[Initial] ❤️💙: eeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Initial] ❤️💙: ok – I’m like right by the exit

[Initial] ❤️💙: turn left when u walk through it and im by the pillar post thingy

5 to 10 more minutes … you could do that. With every passing minute, your excitement and anticipation grew. It had been a long few months without Lena by your side. Yes, you texted every day; Yes, you Facetimed 5 times a week minimum; but seeing her in person, being able to hug her and hold her and kiss her and smell her and touch her and … you couldn’t be more excited.

“Hola, mi amor.” Very poorly pronounced Spanish whispered to you as strong, familiar arms wrapped around your waist.

“Lena,” you squealed, clearly having missed her walk up – far too much in your own head.

“mmmm, ich habe dich vermisst,” she sighed happily as you twisted in her grip to hug her tightly. She was warm and soft and smelt of cinnamon.

“I’ve mis- no, wait,” you cut yourself off. She tilted her head to the side, drawing back to look at you. “Ich habe dich auch so sehr vermisst,” you stumbled slightly but the big, wide grin on Lena’s face told you, you had said it right.

“Can I kiss you, Schatz?” she asked gently. You blinked slightly, not expecting her to ask you that in such a public space. “I, we, don’t have to. It’s just it’s been so long, and,” she rushed to get out, hating the fact that she had made you even the smallest bit uncomfortable.

“Liebe,” you cut her off, waiting until she looked at you before you continued. When her warm chocolate eyes met yours, you struggled not to float away in them. “Please, kiss me.” You smiled as she let out a breath of relief. You met halfway, and it was just as perfect as all the other kisses you two had shared, if not more so after such a long time apart.

“As …” she cleared her throat as she pulled away slightly. “As much as I want to continue. We should get going … but later, ich verspreche.” She vowed and picked her bag up off the floor. And extending her hand for you to take.

“No, wait, gimme that.” You gestured for her bag, forcing it from her when she hesitated to hand it over. “Also, these are for you,” you said with a proud smile, giving her the now slightly watery coffee and bag of goodies.

“Schatz, you shouldn’t have.” She began, but you shook your head, denying her the chance to complain. You stuck your tongue out at her, intertwined your fingers and pulled her towards the exit.

Taking the metro back to your hotel reminded you a lot of your first date. Lena looking slightly puzzled over the Spanish being spoken all around you. On your first date, you had shyly stood next to her, closer than two friends would be not enough to make her feel uncomfortable, and quietly translated a bit of the conversation between two girls nearby; you added the voices to differentiate between the two girls and jokingly copied any actions they did. This time, you let her lean against you, one arm sneaking around her waist to fiddle with the belt loops on her jeans and the other holding tightly onto the handrail. Her head dropped into your neck, muttering something in German.

“What was that, Liebe?” You asked softly, mindful that your mouth was quite close to her ear despite the busy train.

“Müde,” she said again into your neck. It took you a minute to sift through the German in your head. You pouted when you finally understood what she was saying. She was tired. That you could understand, travelling was difficult when you understood the language, let alone one where you landed in a country where the language was entirely different and almost no familiarity to yours. You pressed a chaste kiss to her hairline, hoping to comfort her a little.

“Naw,” you cooed. "It’s okay. We’re almost back to the hotel. We can have a nap if you want,” you pressed another kiss to her head. "But Alexia says she has to see you at some point tonight,” you reminded her.

“Forgot ‘bout Alexia,” she whined tiredly, her grip tightening on you.

“I’m sorry, Liebe. I promise she won’t be too harsh or scary. I know she can come off a bit..." you struggled for the right word. “Intense? But I promise she’s really sweet.”

You finally made it to your stop, and you filtered off the train, fingers laced together so neither of you got lost (mainly Lena, as she didn’t know a lick of Spanish). Just as you were walking up the steps outside, a flustered woman appeared next to you.

“Lamento mucho molestarte. Pero estoy intentando llegar al aeropuerto y tienes una maleta. Sabes cómo conseguirlos?” The flurry of Spanish through you off for a second as you had been conversing in English almost all day.

“No, no te preocupes en absoluto. Um, sólo necesitas …” As you explained the directions to the woman, Lena couldn’t help but watch in awe. She knew you could speak Spanish – you lived in Spain, you played for Barcelona, and she’d seen you talking in Spanish on the football pitch. Hell, the first time she had met you, you were finishing a conversation in Spanish with the film and media crews. It had done something to her then, and it was doing something to her now, too. She couldn’t understand a word of what you were saying, but the accent, the rapid words, the hand gestures, your kind smile … she suddenly wasn’t as tired as she felt on the train.

“Sorry, Liebe,” you said as you finished, waving to the woman as she sped down the steps towards the platform. She was asking about getting to the airport—she had seen your bag and guessed we had just come from there.” You explained, taking her (now slightly clammy) hand and leading her towards your hotel.

The hotel room was big and welcoming, a large bed in the centre with your things thrown haphazardly across it called to Lena as she walked through the door. She left her stuff by the wall and flopped heavily down, sighing at the softness that surrounded her. You looked at her from your vantage point by the door. Her top had ridden up, exposing her abs slightly, her biceps were on full display, and the veins in her arms rippled slightly as she twisted her fingers in the bedding underneath her. She was doing things to you – maybe it was because you hadn’t had sex a good few months (it was currently the longest you had ever gone without since you started having sex); maybe it was because she looked so at home amongst your things; perhaps it was the fact that your girlfriend was finally within touching distance. You also realised you didn’t quite care enough to figure it out.

“Incoming,” you yelled as you launched yourself at her.

“Oof,” she huffed, her breath leaving her body as your weight settled on top of her, both of you laughing quietly at your behaviour.

“Hi,” you smiled at her, arms either side of her head, legs straddling her hips.

“Hi,” she smiled back, lift her hands to stroke her thumbs across your exposed skin.

“I…” should you say it? “I’ve missed you,” you chicken out from what you really wanted to say. You knew you told her at the airport that you missed her, but you needed her to know just how much her absence affected you.

“I’m sorry.” She knew the distance was difficult for both of you. You shook your head, refusing to let her think that this was her fault.

“No, there’s nothing that can be done at the moment. I’m at Barca; you’re at Wolfsburg. It is what it is.” You shrugged, hoping it would ease her sadness a little. “But … you’re here now, we have this weekend. And that is all that matters.” You smiled, the wide, soft smile full of love and tenderness that only Lena got to see often. You felt rather than saw Lena crane her neck up to try to kiss you; your smile shifted into a cheeky grin as you pulled back just out of her reach. She stopped looking at you offendedly.

“Nuh, uh, uh,” you teased, your tongue darting out to wet your lips. “I...” You kiss her forehead. This was your chance. “Missed.” You kissed her cheek, backing out again. “You.” You kissed her other cheek.

“And I’ve missed you, Schatz.” Her hands left your waist, coming up to cradle your face, holding to exactly where she wanted. She waited a few moments, letting her eyes scan your face, trying to commit everything to memory (even though she had already done that well before you left Germany at New Year’s). “So much,” she whispered as she finally tugged you down to meet her lips.

The kiss started out slow, sweet and tender, as your love was poured into it. As you parted, her darkened eyes roamed your body, one hand cementing itself in your hair, tugging lightly as the other moved to trace along the waistband of your shorts. Your kisses weren’t a battle for dominance, but you were falling into a pattern of give and take that was uniquely yours. Your top was the first to come off, hers following not too long afterwards. Buttons were undone, drawstrings loosened and more clothing adding to the mess on the floor. Her hands grasped at any available flesh as your fingers slipped inside. Dark spots were bitten into supple skin, moans were melodies as you rediscovered each other.

“Don’t stop,” You panted into her skin as she guided you to the brink of ecstasy.

“Never,” came her reply, equally as breathless.

“What happened to being tired?” You laughed as she snuggled into your side, her once-eager fingers tracing light shapes into your skin. She groaned at your teasing, pressing more weight onto you. You fiddled with her hair as you waited for an explanation.

“Dein Spanisch. Mit dieser Dame am Bahnhof … Es hat etwas mit mir gemacht” You didn’t understand it fully. Spanish … train station? You were a little confused.

“Sorry, I got something about my Spanish and the lady at the train station. What was the last bit?” You were trying to learn German, but you had started with the most practical things – the greetings, stuff that happened in daily life, cheesy lines you could say to Lena to make her blush.

“Um … it’s a bit embarrassing, really … you were speaking Spanish to that lady at the station,” she blushed profusely. You just smiled, letting your fingers comb through the mess her hair had become. “Es war wirklich sexy.” Your grin doubled in size. So, you speaking Spanish turned her on? That was useful to know.

“Well,” you said after a moment of silence. “If me giving directions to the airport is sexy, you should hear me when I say something truly seductive,” you teased, squeezing her gently as she buried her head in your neck again.

“Mmmm, déjame pensar. Cuando llegue a casa, debo acordarme de llamar al administrador del edificio.” You laughed as you felt her blush, the new heat obvious against your skin. You also couldn’t help but notice the slight shift of Lena’s hips against your thigh. “Liebe, I just said I needed to call my building manager – that is not sexy.” She pulled away from your skin.

“Uh, everything you do is sexy,” she countered. “Say something else? Something that’s actually hot,” she begged, ignoring your teasing smile, and raised eyebrow.

“Hm, vale, vale,” you wracked your brains, trying to think of something that you actually considered sexual. “Quiero que me tengas en todas las formas que quieras. Quiero destrozarte una y otra y otra vez.” You usually weren’t that explicit about your wants, but you were reliant on Lena not really knowing what you were saying. Lena was gobsmacked. She had not a clue what you had just said but the way you had said it – the slight rasp in your voice, the rosy hue to your skin, the sticky sheen of sweat, the hickeys she had sucked into your skin. She rolled you over, balancing above you as her legs slotted between yours.

“Redonda Dos?” You asked. She knew enough Spanish for that.

Just as things were getting interesting again, your door swung up.

“Y/N? ¿Estás aquí? Ale te ha estado enviando mensajes de texto toda la tar -” Ona cut herself off with a shrill scream.

“Me arden los ojos.” She gagged dramatically. “Ew, mis ojos.”

“Oni, qué carajo en realidad?” You shouted back, dragging the duvet up to cover the both of you.

“Do you want to introduce me?” She grinned evilly.

“No, get out!” You glowered at her. When she made no effort to move, you threw a pillow at her.

“Ale says to come to her room.” You flicked your finger at her, letting her know your displeasure. Turning uour attention was fixed back on Lena, you heard her cackling outside.

“Scheiße, Scheiße, Scheiße. Alexia wird mich töten. Ich bin tot. Ich werde sterben. Ich hatte praktisch Sex mit ihrer kleinen Schwester. Oh, mein Gott. Ich werde sterben. Fuck.” Lena was panicking – real, genuine anxiety spread throughout her chest as she sat up against the pillows.

“Liebe, it’s ok,” you soothed, grabbing one hand in yours and swinging your other arm across her shoulders. “Liebe?” you tried again.

“Alexia is going to kill me.” Lena said, looking into your eyes for what she genuinely thought might be the final time.

“No, she won’t.” You smiled softly, not wanting to laugh at Lena’s ridiculousness. “I won’t let her,” you vowed, squeezing her hand tight in promise. “Now, we should probably get some clothes on and head to Ale’s room.”

As you reached for your hoodie, your world darkened suddenly as fabric landed on your head. You lifted it up to reveal a very familiar Adidas hoodie, turning back to see a sheepish Lena.

“How did that get there?” She asked innocently.

“I don’t know, Liebe. How did it get there?” You played along. “There’s only one Adidas athlete in this room, and it’s not me.” She shrugged, snatching your Barca hoodie out of your reach.

“I don’t know, Schatz. But it looks like it’s your only hoodie, and I want you to stay warm.” She was a terrible actor.

“If you wanted me to wear your clothes, you could have just asked,” you laughed as you slipped on the material, getting slightly lost as you tried to find the head hole. You heard a sigh and footsteps before the fabric was rearranged on you as your head burst through the top.

“Guten Tag,” you beamed at her.

“Hallo, Schatz,” she smiled at you before stealing a kiss. You hummed gently, allowing yourself to melt into her just slightly.

“Vamos, vamos.” You spun her around to face the door. “Let’s not keep Ale waiting,” you laughed and tapped her on the bum to get her moving.

Alexia’s room was exactly the same as yours – a wide, comforting bed with a mountain of pillows dominating the space. You tapped on the door, knowing that she would probably have at least 3 of the other girls in her room with her.

“Schatz, I know I said I would endure this for you … for us,” Lena said when it was clear Alexia was making you wait a little. Was she second guessing this? Was she regretting you? “And I will, I will.” She added when your head snapped back to look at her. “But I’m really freaking out here.” You softened.

“Oh, Liebe. It’s ok,” you said, pulling her into a hug. “I understand, really, I do. This isn’t exactly how I wanted you to meet Ale, but I promise you,” you squeezed her to emphasise your point. “She’s a giant softy with a tendency for affectionate bullying. If she starts speaking in Catalan, just ignore her; that’s what I do,” you joked, trying to lighten her mood a little. “She’s just like Alex and Svenja are to you. She’s just looking out for me – even though I don’t need her to and certainly not in this case,” you were rambling now, unknowingly easing Lena’s anxieties in an instant.

Someone cleared their throat behind you, cutting your talking off. Lucy. You smiled at her, pushing past as you guided Lena to sit on the edge of the bed, taking her hand in both of yours when you sat next to her – providing quiet but noticeable support. There were more people in the room than you were expecting. You knew Alexia would call on Lucy, Irene and probably Paños and Marta to give the talk, but Ingrid’s presence surprised you, as did Ona’s and Patri’s.

“Entonces, quieres presentarnos a Lena?” Alexia asked, leaning against the desk in front of you, Paños on her left, Lucy on her right. Irene and Marta stood blocking the path to the door – all of them with what they thought were tough expressions on their faces. Ingrid looked annoyed to be there, Ona was trying to look hard, and Patri had an amused smile dancing on her lips.

“In English, Alexia. It’s not fair on Lena to speak in a language she doesn’t know.” You said calmly, breathing deeply to keep your emotions in check. They had promised not to treat you like a child.

“Do you want to introduce us to Lena?” She asked again, voice artificially calm.

“Not if you’re going to treat us like children.” You raised an eyebrow, reminding all of them of their promises to treat you more adult-like.

“That was before we found out you were having sex,” Lucy started. She stood up from where she was leaning, you matching her behaviour by squaring your shoulders.

“Suficiente, vosotros dos.” Alexia ordered before you had the chance to comment. As much as she wanted to give a protective big sister talk, she realised that maybe this was what you meant when you said that you wanted to be treated more like an adult. It was silent as she studied you and Lena – sitting so close you were practically on top of each other, your thumb never wavering in its soothing motion against the back of Lena’s hand, the way Lena’s eyes kept flitting back to your face in search of any discomfort. She didn’t need to do the grandiose speech she was planning to give – she didn’t need to let every one of the older girls chime in with their threats. If Lena harmed you, Lena wouldn’t harm you – of that, Alexia was sure. “Everyone out. Not you or Lena,” she said as you shifted to leave. “Ona, quédate también por favor.” Alexia ignored the other’s protests; Lucy’s whining was heard even with the door closed. She had allowed Ona to stay in her role as your best friend – she wasn’t about to deny her this opportunity (especially since she knew you had promised Lucy you would exact a painful revenge if Ona ever came to you crying over something about their relationship).

“Lena. I am going to say this one time,” Alexia began, watching as Lena’s eyes grew wide and gulped noticeably. You just rolled your eyes at her antics. “If you hurt her,” she paused for dramatic effect. “I will hunt you down … and end you.” Alexia was quite pleased with herself – she considered that to be restrained enough to appease you whilst instilling enough fear in Lena to make her slightly nervous. Lena nodded, taking a breath to start making promises of never ever hurting you.

Ona cleared her throat from her perch on the windowsill, drawing all of your attention to her. She took a deep breath before letting out the sentence she had been practising since you first mentioned a German footballer had caught your eye, “Ich werde dir die Beine brechen.” The pronunciation was horrendous, but Lena knew what she meant. It was the worst threat Ona could think of with Lena being a footballer.

“Oni,” you whined, although you had no leg to stand on – your threat to Lucy had been so much worse.

“There, we have said what was needed to be said. Let’s go to dinner, sí?” Alexia smiled at the three of you, the polar opposite of the menacing Captain that stood in her place moments before. Ona laughed, looping her arm through Alexia’s and heading to the door.

“That wasn’t so bad,” You joked, nudging Lena. The tension was still very much in her body, however.

“I need them to know, and you need to know it too. I won’t hurt you, ever, Schatz. I promise, ich verspreche, prometo.” She looked deep into your eyes, willing you to understand how deep her vow went. She made the promise to herself in the shower after your first date; her mind kept replaying your almost-kiss, your bubbly laugh and the feel of your soft hand in hers. She had vowed that day to never let your smile fade, and she wanted … no, needed … you to know that.

“Liebe, I know that. They know that.” You reached up to cradle her face in your hands. You took a deep breath and said the words that had been playing on your mind for weeks now: “I love you.”

I hope you liked it <3<3<3

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enkvyu · 10 months

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3:36pm — gojo satoru;

perhaps it's because gojo has never needed to drive, that makes him so bad at it.

you clutch the handle on the car door with a deathly grip as gojo manhandles the steering wheel, a cheerful tune on his lips. one elbow rested on an open window, the other casually caressing the wheel, his feet playing toesies with both the brake and the accelerator, you wonder if this was the end for you. at least he was wearing his sunglasses today.

what kind of confidence allows him to drive one handed, you wonder, but the thought is quickly rammed into the crevices of your mind as the car takes another sudden turn. you think you vaguely hear gojo hum a quick "oops, almost missed the exit!" but you'd rather believe he didn't.

you can't even focus on the scenery as it darts past the window, but it looks akin to something from a scifi film when an eager cast of space pilots jump a wormhole. except you’re neither an astronaut nor in space, you’re just an unfortunate soul stuck in a car driven by your best friend.

"that wasn't so bad." gojo chuckles, sparing getou and shoko a glance through the mirror.

"was that the grim reaper i saw around that past corner?" shoko asks, holding her cigarette with a shaky hand. you've never seen her tremble like that before.

"you saw it too?" getou groans, almost taking up the entire space in the backseat as he was previously relocated when gojo decided to take up the challenge of tackling an intersection. "my whole body is sweating. i don’t think i’ve ever sweated this hard in my life"

"don't get your gross germs in my car. and shoko, where did the cigarette come from? didn't i tell you no smoking inside?" gojo complains. his eyes flicker back on his best friend as he doesn’t receive an answer. "i'm being serious, getou, don't sweat on my car, i just got it today!"

"so why are you testing fate with every corner?" your words raise an octave as you look forward again, gojo's car swerving around another one incoming. "gojo, watch out!"

the driver’s face through the tinted window of the other car reflects your own as they barely skim the encounter. an angry voice pokes out from the window but the noise is lost as gojo drives on, completely unfazed.

a series of beeps chase after gojo’s car, and amidst the chaos, was that a siren? the right side of the car flies up as gojo rides over the curb before settling harshing back on the asphalt road. he glances over his shoulder and mutters: “who put a tree in the middle of the road?” under his breath.

your fingers dig into the car door. they hover over the handle, ready to flick it open and jump out.

"eyes on the road!" getou calls from the back.

"my parents told me it's impolite to not look the person you're talking to in the eye!" gojo all but sings.

"let me out." shoko says quietly, and when she's ignored she says it again. "gojo, let me out!"

"you're driving on the wrong side!” your shriek comes out unprepared. “move over the line!"

"it's a double line, that's illegal."

"are you serious? tell me you're not serious. hurry up and move, there's a car coming!"

“i think we’re being chased!”

"stop the car, i want out!"

"we're not even at the school yet, i can't stop now."

someone had to stop him.

"gojo!" you scream. "i want to stop by the convenience store, stop the damn car!"

he glances over at you and you really wish he didn't, because he has to spin the wheel a whole 360 and more to miss a parked car. "why didn't you say so? of course we can stop. now that you mention it, i'm craving icecream."

"i'll get you all the icecream you want if you could just pull over." getou offers from the back. glancing back, you see a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"getou, your sweat." you sob and he hastily rubs it away.

"i'm sorry gojo, please don't keep driving because of this."

gojo huffs. "i already said i was stopping. why is everyone acting so weird today?"

the car revs, swerves and spins completely around, throwing you out of your seat. “i saw a store back this way.” the driver says.

getou dominos over on top of shoko who can no longer vocally complain as her throat was seized by fear. you look over at the maniac who caused this situation and realise it was him making the woop woop! noise. you had thought you were hallucinating.

gojo approaches the carpark, yet to everyone's dismay he doesn't slow. "trust me guys, i saw this move in a dream." when no one says anything, he decides its because he needs to clarify. "it was prophetic."

the car continues, accelerates even, as he beelines towards a single parking slot sandwiched between two other cars. there's no way, you think, but gojo was always about doing the impossible. was that shoko praying in the backseat? you didn’t realise she was religious.

just as you were sure you were going to crash, gojo spins the wheel, jerking the car around before reversing straight into the parking slot.

your head slams against the headrest painfully before being forcefully yanked upwards again. the momentum knocks the air out of your lungs and you gasp. distantly, you hear getou groan in pain and when you look back, you find shoko on the floor.

"so?" gojo turns to smile at you, brightly. "how was it?"

you smile back and throw up all over him.

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x you #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen #sss trio #sashisu #getou suguru #shoko ieiri #gojo hcs #gojo satoru #lesson learnt don't let gojo drive

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ckret2 · 1 year

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Okay so I have a theory.

During Bill & Ford's first meeting, Bill says "Care for a game of interdimensional chess?" What's interdimensional chess? How do its rules differ from regular chess? We don't know.

My theory: there's no such thing as "interdimensional chess" and Bill made up the term so he can cheat with impunity.

Ford, The Smart Guy, would be too embarrassed to admit to this powerful otherworldly being that he doesn't already know the rules to interdimensional chess, so he's just playing along like he already knows and trying to learn any different rules from context based on whatever Bill does.

This is exactly what Bill's counting on. Any time he's losing he can do something ridiculous like drop his previously-removed rook next to Ford's king and go "you were so distracted setting up your trap that you forgot to guard your wormhole exit! Rookie mistake!" and what's Ford gonna do but go "right... always forget that darn wormhole... haha..."

However, having now been introduced to the idea that Ford doesn't know how to play regular chess, I'm tempted to incorporate it. Bill pulls some illegal """interdimensional""" chess move, Ford says nothing; then Ford immediately does something that's also wildly illegal.

Now Bill's in a bind.

Does he call Ford out on it?? His plan was to act like he assumes Ford already knows "interdimensional" chess rules, does that mean he has to pretend he assumes Ford knows regular chess rules, too? If he accuses Ford of not knowing regular chess, then obviously, he'll have to teach Ford regular chess, and then Ford will ask for the rules of interdimensional chess, and then Bill's con falls apart. If he wants to keep cheating, he's got to act like everything Ford does is perfectly normal.

And now Bill's lost his advantage. He can't count on Ford being constrained to the normal rules of chess while Bill does anything he wants. Ford has no idea what moves Bill will claim are legal—but Bill also has no idea what moves Ford assumes are legal.

Their chess games are like an 8-year-old lying about the rules so he can always win playing against a 6-year-old who has no idea what the rules are but who likes randomly moving pieces so he can feel involved.

#gravity falls #grunkle ford #bill cipher #headcanons

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pianokantzart · 1 month

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The Super Mario Bros. Redux (Pt. 6)

What would happen if, in The Super Mario Bros. Movie, after Mario and Luigi are separated, Mario was the one who ended up in the clutches of Luigi’s eventual arch nemesis, while Luigi teamed up with some of his own close allies to go rescue him? (This part of the story is in one shot format. Most other parts are written in bullet points.)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 7 ________

A short summary of the things Luigi had done in the past twenty four hours that he had never expected to do in his entire life:

Fall into an interdimensional wormhole. Fight a warrior princess in a crowded arena. Become a royally acclaimed ghost hunter. Enlist in an army assembled to ambush the territory ruled by The King of Ghosts in order to rescue hostages and bring balance to the afterlife. Adopt a dog.

... Though it was more accurate to say the dog adopted him. Normally Luigi had trouble with animals– he could never read their body language, and his clumsiness made for bad first impressions. The few animals he got along with in the past were old and quiet, wanting nothing more than a warm lap on which to lay their head. Polterpup was different; playful and energetic, mischievous yet patient. Luigi couldn’t help but wonder what was the reason behind the attachment– if he himself resembled an old master or friend from the dog’s past life before it became a ghost. It still wore a collar, though the little golden loop on the front had no tag. The collar was bright red, almost a perfect match to Mario’s favorite color. "Heh, you’re just as good at getting into trouble as Mario, too,” Luigi added with a somber smile, kneeling down to oblige the ghost dog’s less-than-subtle plea for belly rubs until it disappeared again, as was its habit. Polterpup tended to suddenly poof in and out of thin air with little warning, and though it seemed to be at random at first, Luigi began to realize the dog mostly came to him when he was feeling alone, which was more often than not as of late. Every new experience, every strange encounter, every unexpected victory made Luigi wish more and more that his brother was around to take part. Hardly a second passed without him wondering what he was doing at that moment, and if he was okay.

Unfortunately, his occupied mind made him a less-than-helpful assistant to E. Gadd. The professor had warned earlier that he had always preferred working alone. The result was a very low tolerance level for “tomfoolery,” as he described it, and it wasn’t long before Luigi’s shaky attempts to help attach upgrades to The Poltergust caused the scientist to lose his patience. One shoddy wire-soldering job later, Luigi found himself being forcibly pushed toward the exit by the surprisingly strong old man. “Go. Shoo. Distract yourself with something else.”

“Like what?” Luigi asked, digging his heels. “What do I do? Where do I go?”

“How about you see the princess?”

“Princess Daisy?”

Luigi lingered in the doorway. The professor adjusted his glasses, and pointed down one of the castle hallways. “Yep! She’s in the greenhouse. I’m sure she could use the company. You two seem to get along well enough.”

“We do?” Luigi placed his hand against his cheek, thinking over their last interactions. They had exchanged blows, but worked together in the end to defeat Boolossus. She had held his hand up as the victor, but she had also toyed with him in a way that made it clear that she knew how weak he truly was. He liked her, that much he knew, but that didn’t mean she wanted anything more to do with him, and furthermore she had a power and confidence to her that intimidated him beyond her status as the daughter of four kings. “I don’t know. I mean, we did make a pretty good team, but she’s royalty! I don’t know anything about how to approach royalty. Do I bow? Or–”

“You’ll be fine,” The Professor assured, only half paying attention as he returned to his work, burying himself back into the open hatch of a large machine.

In the end, Luigi did as he was told. The greenhouse was easy enough to find. As large as the Birabuto Palace was, its corridors were open and easy to navigate, and the guards were surprisingly helpful in giving directions despite their shaky first-encounters.

Finding the large doors to the greenhouse, marked by limestone imitations of crawling vines carved into the archway, Luigi gathered his determination and pushed them open. The first thing that struck him was a wall of glacial cold– a shocking surprise, and the opposite of what he expected from a greenhouse, but this discomfort was immediately undercut by the beauty of the surrounding foliage. The flowers, sparkling with a brilliant, incandescent blue, sprouted from planter boxes and large pots all around in blooms and buds. He thought for a moment that surely they were beautifully-crafted plastic or silicon, but pinching a large leaf between the fingers of his gloves he found they felt as real as any common dandelion. The second thing that struck him was the night sky, clearly visible through the glass walls and ceiling. He had never in his life seen so many stars, and for all his love of science and space he could not recognize a single constellation, which served as an unsettling, but ultimately breathtaking reminder of how far from home truly he was.

“Oh! Hey!”

Luigi jumped and let out a surprised squeak when Daisy emerged from behind a stack of pots to greet him. Her cheeks were tinted pink from the cold, and in her right arm she held a large sack of powdery-white fertilizer that she was distributing between the plants. She laughed at his reaction, but it carried no hint of condescension, just friendly amusement. “I was hoping I’d see you again before we invaded Evershade Valley!” she called, waving him over. “Luigi, was it?”

Luigi approached while holding his hat to his chest, shuddering a bit as the chill bit at the edges of his ears. “Yes, Your Highness.” Daisy once more laughed her friendly, good-natured laugh. “None of that. Just Daisy. No ‘Miss’ or ‘Ma’am’ either. If you’ve gotta be formal, call me Princess Daisy.” Luigi, feeling a little more at ease, put his hat back on his head. “Yes, Princess Daisy.” She gave a nod of approval, then went back to work fertilizing the long rows of plants. “So,” she asked, “What can I help you with, big guy?” “I, er…” Luigi suddenly realized he had failed to come up with a proper reason before arriving here. He couldn’t very well say the professor kicked him out of the lab for being inept, but before he could think of an excuse his attention was re-seized by the plants. Curiosity overcame him to the point that he forgot his worries, and he once more brushed his hand against the leaf of the nearest flower. “Are these where your ice powers came from? In The Battle Stadium?” “Of course! I’m pretty good with a powerup, huh?” Daisy said proudly, “Normally I favor the elephant fruit, but today I decided to switch things up.” “Elephant fruit? There’s other magical plants?” The princess stiffened. Luigi was worried for a moment that he had accidentally said something offensive, but she retained her genuine smile as she set the sack of fertilizer down and placed her hands on her hips. “Wow, you’re really not from around here, are you.” Before Luigi could answer, she walked up and wrapped a friendly arm around his shoulder. “Suppose I should’ve known. Humans aren’t native to this world. The professor is one of, like, two other humans I know. Do you know E. Gadd? Is he your uncle or something?” “I– uh, no. We just met yesterday.” “Let me guess: you're lost." "Well... yes..." "And he said he'd only get you home if you help him.” “What!?” “He’s the kind of guy to pull a stunt like that if he thinks it’s for the greater good.” Daisy explained, holding Luigi a bit closer in a show of sympathy. “You don’t have to do this, you know, you could go home anytime you like. I’ll vouch for you!” Despite the friendly intention behind these words, Luigi felt a lump form in his throat. He slipped out from under The Princess’ side-hug, and stared up at her with a troubled look. “Do you… want me to leave?” Daisy bristled. Her cheeks reddened as she shook her head and waved her hands in dismay. “No! No no no of course not! I think you’re great! It’s just…” She trailed off, rubbing the back of her neck.

Luigi, surprised by this rare show of nervousness, patiently waited with bated breath for her to gather her thoughts, and after a few seconds she continued, quieter than before. “It’s just that I keep thinking about what you said in the arena. You seemed like a guy who had a lot to lose. You weren’t in it for glory or the fun of the fight, you were just scared and… I don’t know… I felt bad for you. Still do.” At this, Luigi gained a slight smile, shyly burying his hands in his pockets and rocking on his heels. “Heh, don’t worry. I gotta learn how to not be scared all the time, y'know?” It didn’t take long before he realized what he said– whose words he was echoing. The gravity of the situation quickly crashed back down on him, robbing him of that small moment of comfort. It was evident by the look on Daisy’s face that she had seen the change in his expression, so Luigi went ahead and explained his predicament before she could ask: “It’s my brother, Mario. We both fell through a warp pipe. I ended up in your kingdom but he ended up in Evershade Valley.”

Daisy cocked her head, the gears turning behind her eyes as everything she had witnessed about the plumber's manner up until now came together in her mind. “Oh. I see.”

“It was my fault. I fell into the warp pipe, and he jumped in after me, and– I… I can’t just leave him.” Luigi heard his own voice crack and felt tears beginning to form in his eyes. Despite this he kept going, the pent up emotions of the past twenty four hours running rampant, unable to be reigned in. “It’s not that I don’t trust anyone else to save him, but I gotta make sure he’s okay! We’ve never been apart this long… and I-... I miss him.” Tears began streaming freely, the cold air burning them into long lines down Luigi’s cheeks. He turned away, struggling to wipe his eyes with the back of his glove. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.”

Luigi saw a glimmer of white fabric in the corner of his vision. Turning, he saw the princess holding a flower-embroidered handkerchief out to him. He accepted, and dried his eyes. He tried to hand it back, but she was already returning to the flowers, plucking up a set of pruning shears as she went. “I’ve never known a good fighter that didn’t have big emotions brewing under the surface,” she assured. “But don’t you worry, after the way we saved my dads, saving you brother should be no sweat!...” Luigi, hearing a light snip of closing shears, saw Princess Daisy remove one of the ice flowers at its base between where the leaves connected to the soil. Despite being cut off from its roots the plant remained as lively as ever. It almost looked to be dancing happily in her hands as she delivered it back to Luigi.

“...and when you do save him, give him this.” She said, holding out the offering. “If Mario’s anything like you, he’s not going to want to be defenseless, and ice magic is the one of the few things that can combat boos besides your Poltergust.” Luigi smiled. He reached out and took the flower into his hands. He was surprised to find it wasn’t particularly chilly to the touch– clearly the coldness of the room was for the sake of cultivating the plants, not the effect of the flowers themselves. “You seem to really know a lot.” He mused aloud, pressing the gift to his chest. “But… you said humans aren’t native to this world. Where did you come from, then?” He stopped suddenly, realizing the personal nature of what he asked. He searched Daisy’s face for some sign of disapproval, but was relieved to see her smiling just as brightly as before. “Ha! I wish I had an answer to your question!” She laughed, “Dragonzamasu says I hatched from an orange egg that appeared suddenly in a field of flowers. Biokinton says he found me curled up in a bassinet hitched to a shooting star. Hiyoihoi says he found me locked in a gemstone at the center of the oldest mountain in Sarasaland. But I’m more inclined to buy Totomesu’s story.”

“What’s Totomesu’s story?” Daisy’s smile wavered. Luigi wondered once again if he misstepped, but this time easily brushed the thought aside, trusting by now that the princess would let him know if he had done something wrong. She turned away, staring up at the stars through the glass wall of the greenhouse, and Luigi placed himself at the her side, watching the stars in tandem until Daisy finally broke the silence and answered his question: “He found me at the mouth of a warp pipe, barely old enough to crawl and completely terrified. Sometimes I think I still remember that day… as much as I prefer to believe that I hatched from an egg.”

There was such an odd sadness to her voice that Luigi felt an impulse to reach out and reassuringly take her hand, though he had enough common sense to refrain from such an intimate gesture. All the same, he wanted to say something comforting. “I don’t mind that you didn’t hatch from an egg.” He heard himself blurt out.

Daisy shot him a confused look, and Luigi nervously scrambled to explain himself. “What I mean is… hey, you were a baby, y’know? Ain’t nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re already so cool, you can’t be cool every moment of your life, and most babies aren’t cool! And… uh…” Daisy started to laugh. Luigi turned red, but felt a little better now that she was smiling again, even more so when he felt the princess affectionately nudging his shoulder. “Haha! I get it big guy, I get what you're saying!”

Luigi laughed too, in spite of himself.

“Speaking of ‘cool,’” Daisy went on, “I'm freezing!” She rubbed at her arms in a display of discomfort. Luigi, too, was suddenly reminded of just how cold he was. By now the low temperature had seeped all the way through his clothes and skin, triggering a powerful shiver that ran through his core, which was soon soothed as the princess wrapped an arm around him, and pressed him close. “Tell me, Luigi, do you have hot chocolate in your world?”

“I love hot chocolate!”

“Perfect!” With her arm still tightly wrapped around the plumber, Daisy eagerly led him to the egress of the greenhouse. “Let’s get us some good old-fashioned creature comforts before we fight some ghosts!”

"Heh. Yeah. Let's-a-go!" Luigi said, forcing enthusiasm, thankful that he had the cold as an excuse for his uncontrollable shivering.

#my writing #super mario bros #super mario bros redux #super mario brothers #mario movie #mario movie au #Luigi #Polterpup #Princess Daisy #Professor E. Gadd #Luaisy #this got longer than I intended but what else is new

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caffiend-queen · 4 months

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I'll Break Your Heart Before You Break Mine...

An Avengers - Loki Holidays In Hel story

I've been cleaning up and adding bits to my Holidays in Hel series because really, it's my favorite. I hope you enjoy, and thank you as always for reading!

In which Loki's courtship of Mina (refer to "The Christmas Party") hits a snag when his timid little darling suddenly decides to dump him on Valentine's Day.

I wrote this listening to the beautiful "Takeaway" from The Chainsmokers and Illenium. Have a listen here: https://youtu.be/lzkKzZmRZk8

The first time Loki had seen a Valentine, he approached it with the same look of disgust one would give a used litter box.

“What is this cloying monstrosity?” he queried, holding the little card up by his thumb and forefinger.

“Well…” Mina’s brow furrowed. “Oh, of course. This is your first Valentine’s Day on Ear- Midgard, isn’t it?” Her boyfriend (?) beau (?) Supreme Overlord of Sex (!) was by now lounging elegantly on his suede couch, arms stretched along the top of it and legs sprawled obscenely. As usual. "This is a Valentine, it's from my niece in Wisconsin."

One dark brow arched. "Explain?"

"Well, you create little cards and give them to people you care about, family, friends..." she coughed a little and added quickly, "boyfriends. They're usually heart-shaped, pink or red, and-"

"The human heart is not shaped like that," Loki interrupted, "I've torn them still beating from the chests of my enemies and they more resemble-"

"No trips down memory lane, brother!" Thor interrupted with perfect timing, which was extremely unusual. "We must make ready. There is a new mission.” He'd slammed open the door to Loki's suite, knowing it infuriated his brother every time.

With a sigh, Loki stood, waving one pale hand and was instantly clad in his dark green armor. "And who might we be engaging? More angry Dark Elves? The crossbred Jotunn ice bear? A blood witch from the Grievous Clan?"

“No, Professor Snape, they’re … what did you call them, Thor?” Tony Stark rambled into the apartment, standing over Loki, who had reseated himself with an uncomfortable Mina on his lap. She’d tried to pop up when Thor casually broke in, but Loki’s arm came down like an iron bar to keep her in place.

Thor was nosing around the fresh-baked muffins on the counter. “They are Plesticites, do you remember battling them on the Wandering Moons of Alfheim, brother?”

Loki groaned audibly. The aforementioned creatures were multi-limbed monstrosities that spat secretions as thick as tar and vile as vomit. “And why are they here on Midgard?” he snarled, “Why did Heimdall not raise the alarm before these sacs of pus found a wormhole?”

Mouth full of muffin, his brother shrugged one giant shoulder. Stark, with that infuriating cheer he had only when interrupting someone else’s love life, clapped his hands together. “Chop chop, Asgardian supermodels, we’re off to kill the things that look like Donald Trump’s ass.”

“Darling,” Loki gently set her down on a cushion and rose, leaning over to capture a kiss. “I shall see you anon.”

It was a spectacular kiss, so it took Mina a moment to realize a case holding six of Loki’s best daggers was on the counter next to the muffins. Knowing he never went into battle without them, she tucked them under her arm and hoofed it for the roof, trying to catch him before the helicarrier took off.

The team was still on the landing pad, and the wind carried their conversation back to her as she exited the elevator.

“- to celebrate the day with Lady Mina?” She knew Thor had Big Plans for Jane, especially after Darcy handed him a step-by-step list for what was required of a romantic boyfriend. Mina lingered for a moment around the corner, a little excited. Plans? Loki had plans for Valentine’s Day?

“You must be joking,” he sneered, “you believe I would stoop to celebrating a pathetic testament to retail excess? Debasing myself with the purchase of stuffed animals and mediocre flowers?”

Mina sighed and leaned against the elevator door. So, no Valentine’s Day, then.

“But your lady, she will expect it,” Thor said earnestly. “It is considered most important.”

“He’s right, you don’t want to screw this up.” Mina cocked her head. Was that Bucky? “This stuff is important to women.” Loki didn’t cut the soldier off, as he’d done with his brother. She always found Loki’s - if not friendship, a comfortableness, an accord - with James Barnes intriguing. Mina had asked him about it one day, and he’d pinned her with that bleak, blue-gray gaze of his. “Loki knows what it’s like to be tortured. For decades.” She'd felt her heart splinter in that moment. For both of them.

“It is of no consequence,” Loki said dismissively, “by then, Mina and I will no longer be-” the roar of the helicarrier’s engines began and the rest of his statement was lost. Numbly taking the case of daggers back down to Loki’s apartment, Mina hesitated at the door. Would he have already revoked her access to his place?

But the door opened and she stepped in. It still smelled like Loki- sharp and clear, like pine and snow. She marched through his suite of rooms, picking up the few items she’d left there- a silk slip, her spare toothbrush, two books she’d loved and recommended to him. That was it. There were no photos of the two of them together, no tenderly written notes. It was so familiar, Mina thought bitterly, just like the last three times.

What was it with her and Valentine’s Day? Who the fuck gets dumped three times on the most “romantic” day of the year? Stuffing everything in her bag, she could remember Kevin’s stupid face, "It's not me, babe. It's you." February 14th, 2017.

Milo, "I just feel that Valentine's Day is an excuse for women to siphon up free gifts, and I refuse to be manipulated by female greed." Pause. "Before I leave, did you get me anything?" February 14th, 2014.

And then there was Brian. "Yeah, I don't see a future with us, Mina. You're always busy at school and I need a woman who can commit." That turned out to be her best friend Marcia. Who was already married. February 14, 2019.

“And it’s happening again?” she gave a short, humorless chuckle, “At least this time, Loki’s not really my boyfriend. I’m not sure the word boyfriend could apply to a seven-foot-tall alien who looks like a supermodel and hands out orgasms like they’re penny candy. Fuck this.”

Stomping into Jane’s lab on the 47th floor, Mina forced herself to smile. This was a new job and she couldn’t afford to break down. Of course, she had this new job because the thermodynamics lab fired her after the paparazzi storm from her night as Loki’s date at Stark’s disastrous Christmas Party. They wouldn’t leave her alone and one even burst into the ladies’ room as she was hitching her undies back up. And, her boss was just walking out of her stall as well. Fortunately, Jane immediately made the case to Tony that Mina would be very helpful in her research.

Unfortunately, Darcy was never shy about prying into everyone else’s personal lives. “Hey, Mina Mina Bo-bina, what does your sex god Asgardian have planned for Valentine’s Day?”

Jane didn’t look up from her microscope. “Thor is the God of Sex, actually.”

Without thinking, Mina shook her head. “No, Thor is the God of Fertility. Loki is the God of Lust.” They'd both been studying a book - The Royals Guide to Asgard together. Tossing her bag on her desk, she added under her breath, “Not that it matters.”

Darcy, who could under most circumstances be the poster child for Adderall, was remarkably single-minded when it came to heartbreak. Eyes narrowed behind her glasses, she pushed her face close to Mina’s. “You’ve been crying. Did Mr. Hot and Psycho do something?”

“Nope, that’s the point,” she said, “we’re doing nothing for Valentine’s Day because he’s dumping me.”

“No!” Jane was shocked, “Thor says Loki is crazy about you!”

“I overheard him talking to Thor and Bucky when I went up to bring him his daggers for the mission,” Mina said bitterly. “He said that he and I would no longer be together.” Her shoulders slumped. “But I don’t think we ever were.”

It was not ten minutes later when Darcy had mercilessly bullied her into joining “Girl’s Night,” refusing to tell her where the herd of single women were migrating to.

Three days later and no word from Loki, it settled into her with a despondent certainty that he would not be “courting her” (as he’d put it) anymore. She didn’t ask Jane if she’d heard from Thor, because the look of discomfort, then pity was more than she could bear. So Mina kept a cheerful smile and pretended everything was fine as bouquets started popping up on desktops, boxes of chocolate and heart-shaped cookies circulated and whispered conversations filled with giggles were all around her.

Screw Valentine’s Day. It sucked.

Nonetheless, she defiantly dressed for the girl’s “Cupid is Stupid” outing with Darcy in a short, saucy little emerald-colored dress she’d picked up on sale. She had been saving it to wear on a special occasion with Loki, but…. Angrily dashing away a tear before it ruined her cat’s-eye eyeliner, Mina straightened her shoulders. She would go have fun with Darcy and the girls. Then this day would be over, and-

The reality that she would eventually be seeing Loki in the halls, perhaps in the lab every now and then made her sink onto her couch. Would he be bringing new women to social events? Mina’s lips thinned and she stood up, seizing her bag and storming out the door. “It’s going to be a bit more difficult finding a date that doesn’t mind you kidnapping her off the street!” she hissed, halting at the appalled stare of nice Mrs. Wyscowski who lived next door in E16 as she got off the elevator. The woman was carrying a bouquet of roses. ‘Of course,’ Mina thought, ‘even my 73-year-old neighbor gets flowers.’ Instantly feeling guilty, she held the door for her. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mrs. W. The roses are so pretty!”

“Thank you, dear. And what are you and Mr. Odinson doing this evening?” Mrs. Wyscowski loved Loki, of course. The charming bastard insisted on kissing her wrinkled hand every time he spotted her.

Mina’s smile faltered, but she stepped into the elevator. “Have a good night, Mrs. W.”

When her Uber pulled up to the address Darcy gave her, she audibly groaned. Seriously?

The driver laughed, looking in his rearview mirror. “Not what you were planning on?”

“Knowing my friend, I should have,” Mina sighed. Cherry’s Sexual Harassment Pub was bustling with giggling women lined up at the bar and guarding table space for their friends close to the stage. Passing by gigantic posters of bare-assed men with names like “Blaze,” and “Nitro,” she rolled her eyes.

“Bitch!” Darcy shouted at the top of her considerable lungs, standing on her chair and waving at her like she was a one-winged sparrow, trying to take flight. But when one of the buff, shirtless waiters brought over a tray of Sex on the Beach shooters, Mina took two.

Just as Mina was throwing back her first shot, a bloody and exhausted crew was exiting the helicarrier, eager to shower off the genuinely disgusting mission and focus on something new: sex, booze, and for a few, even romance. Thor nudged his brother with one giant arm. “Have you reconsidered what to do for the Lady Mina? The night is young.”

“I have told you, Thor,” Loki snarled, “I do not indulge in such plebian excess.”

Undeterred, his brother said, “Jane has mentioned that she has seemed quite despondent these last few days. Have she seemed so when she speaks with you?”

Loki shrugged. “I do not speak with Mina whilst on missions away. I’m sure she is fine. And most likely,” he said, his pace increasing as they exited onto their floor, “waiting for me in my chambers. So if you’ll excuse me…”

But Mina wasn’t. She’d been very good about showing up when he returned from missions, working here in the Tower in Jane’s lab gave her proximity and advance warning. In fact … as Loki strolled to the bedroom he noticed her absence, along with the few little things she’d left in his suite - including A Brief History of Time, a book he'd been rather enjoying. Where was the little minx? Sweeping a hand down his body to restore himself to spotlessness and into a fresh black suit, he set off for the labs, Mina was no doubt working late.

Mina was laughing uncontrollably as Darcy had her legs looped around the back of a stripper who had his head buried in her considerable cleavage. He was still managing to swirl those agile hips to the beat of “Girls, Girls, Girls” by Motley Crew even as he was making motorboat noises. A sudden vision of Loki teaching her how to dance the tango on his terrace rose in her mind and she angrily shook her head. She was not going to be one of those single people on Valentine’s Day who got all drunk and weepy! Well … reaching for the champagne in the middle of the table, she drank right from the bottle. Not one of those single people who cry, anyway. Screw Loki. Screw Loki and his beautiful agile hips and those fingers and how he’d purr all those filthy things in her ear when she was coming.

Ugh.

“Break his heart before he breaks mine,” she mumbled, nearly inaudible under the screaming of the other women. But someone was listening.

In fact, the Stark group had enjoyed VIP treatment all night - graciously escorted to the best table on the floor and several bottles of complimentary champagne delivered with "Compliments of the house, beautiful ladies." The shirtless blonde waiter - who was hilariously named "Thor," according to his nametag - wore impeccable white cuffs and collar and was most attentive, chuckling indulgently as his perfect, firm ass was groped more than once. "Thor" even leaned over invitingly by Mira as he'd brought more drinks, but she smiled nervously and scooted her chair over a bit.

“Hey, pretty lady,” he oozed, “is there something … special I can get you?”

“Hell, yeah!” shouted Darcy, “Our girl just broke up with her boyfriend! Right before Valentine’s Day, can you believe it?” Mina cringed so hard she could feel her spine compress.

"Thor" took her hand, eyes wide in his most sincere sympathy. “He’s a fool to let you get away, baby. You need a man who knows how to appreciate a queen like you.”

‘Oh, gawd …’ she thought. “Oh, I broke up with him,” she nodded firmly, “so yeah, it’s all good. It’s fine. Really,” she emphasized, trying to yank her hand away from his. Her palm was tingling like crazy and she wiped it on her skirt several times, frowning at the odd burn.

But then the lights came up and the smarmy DJ’s voice bellowed out, “Heeeey, Ladies! Welcome to the Cupid is Stupid spectacular! We’re gonna give you pretty little things all the affection you deserve tonight! Up first, give a waaaaarm, wet welcome to Valentino!”

She was laughing, Mina just couldn’t help it. This was so fucking cheesy. What was she doing here?

What was she doing here? Looking around the room, she could tell she was the only one not totally invested in the web the strippers were weaving. Her forehead creased. That was a weird image. But all the girls were screaming, waving tens and twenties, glassy-eyed and utterly focused on the man on stage, currently undulating in a g-string. The waiters were circulating, putting down more drinks, running fingertips along a cheek, along a shoulder or down the neck and dipping into cleavage. And the girls all seemed to love it. Wiping her sweaty forehead, Mina blinked, looking at her phone. Just to check the time, that’s all.

Nothing from Loki. Of course.

Rising abruptly from her seat, she made her way through the crowd of rapturous women. Once in the bathroom, she splashed her face with cold water, forgetting about her careful makeup. Why was she so sweaty? Looking in the mirror and wiping away her streaked mascara, Mina sighed. This was worse than being at home watching While You Were Sleeping and weeping uncontrollably. “I’ll walk home,” she said to the grimy mirror. “Get some exercise. Yeah. You know, endorphins.”

Walking back to the table to grab her purse and bid Darcy goodnight, she stumbled to a stop.

Loki was dancing. More specifically, her ex-boyfriend (well, the gorgeous god she’d been dating) was stripping. And the screams rose at a pitch that could shatter crystal. His vivid jade eyes were fixed on her, a filthy, knowing smirk on his face. His body was art. All marble-sheened skin with flexing, lean muscle beneath. She’d always been amused when people assumed Loki wasn’t physically powerful, like his bulky brother. Oh, no… those perfectly tailored suits of his hid a body of exquisite grace, broad shoulders and a chest and arms banded thickly with muscle. His long, long legs were sculpted, and when he lifted her to straddle his thigh and rubbed her against the taut strands there … oh, god. What was he doing here! This couldn’t-

“Loki?” she shouted, incredulous and trying to get closer to the stage.

“Hello, love.” She could see Loki’s lips moving, but even over the howl of the music and shrieks from the women, it still sounded like he was talking right into her ear. “I thought I would give you a bit of a surprise. Then, I intend to take you backstage, hoist you upon the nearest level surface and fuck you until you beg for mercy. Which of course, I shall not give you.” There was never a time Mina was more aware that he was a god. So beautiful, even under those tawdry pink lights, his hips moving in erotic figure eights and dancing just for her. So intent on reaching him, Mina never noticed another of the waiters come up from behind her, slipping an arm around her waist.

Thor was just helping Jane on with her coat as Loki strode into the lab. “Where is Mina?” He knew his tone was sharp, but he was suddenly filled with a sense of urgency, a necessity to reach her- to find his girl before-

“She’s out with Darcy and the girls.” Jane’s tone was not friendly. “You know, since you dumped her, it’s really not any of your business.”

“I beg your pardon?”

It was clear Loki was shocked, which was shocking in of itself since the god prided himself on no expression other than urbane amusement or profound boredom. “She went out with the girls?” Jane said less aggressively.

“Where?” His tone was sharp, but the couple didn’t take offense. They could feel it too, that something was wrong here. Loki was never agitated like this, not even in the middle of battle.

“Um…” Jane consulted her phone. “It’s a strip club,” she looked at him apologetically, “called, ugh, now I know Darcy picked it! It’s called Cherry’s Sexual Harassment Pub.” Thor choked down a laugh as his brother and Jane glared at him.

“This…” Loki hesitated, another shocking departure for him. “There is something wrong. I cannot say, but I feel it.”

To his credit, Thor immediately stepped up. “I shall come with you brother. My dearest, would you mind putting off our evening for a few hours more?”

She nodded, “Of course. Should I come with you? You know, to wrangle Darcy?”

“We must go, please, stay here.” It was the 'please' that stopped her from protesting as Loki dragged off her boyfriend. Loki never said please.

Darcy was screaming herself hoarse. She didn’t know how this could have possibly happened, but this was the best fucking night of her life! How the fuck could Bucky have overcome his shyness to be stripping for all these women? The Winter Soldier stared at her, licking his full lips as his crotch jutted at her obscenely, thick thighs bending to lure her closer to the stage. His long hair fell into his eyes, glowing with need for her. Her hand reached out. There was just one more layer to peel off, just the tiniest scrap of spandex between her and what she was certain was the biggest cock in North America. Just one little yank on that strap and... She was still trying to surge forward when the arms came around her from behind, gripping her tightly and making her ribs compress against her lungs. It felt like the most brutal kind of suction, feeling like the blood was being pulled out of the pores in her skin, but all she could think of was to get to Bucky- that beautiful bastard, she knew he always wanted her he did and then she was coming legs twitching and rubbing together hands still reaching out touch him.

MaryBeth from Offshore Accounts was dreamily watching Steve Rogers bare all that perfect, golden skin and rippling muscle. He was clean-shaven, not that scruffy beard he’d been wearing and those patriotic blue eyes were lasered in on her, he was going to tear her clothes off and fuck her right on the table, she could hear him! So MaryBeth swept out an arm, knocking everything off the surface and climbing on, hauling her skirt up. “Right here, Steve honey! I AM SO READY!” Darleen McMasters from the table next to theirs was from Queens, married 22 years and just here to keep her best friend and current divorcee Carla company, sat up abruptly. “FRANK?” she shouted, jaw dropped, “What on EARTH are you doing!” Her husband looked down, giving her a rakish wink and an extra little thrust of his hips.

Interestingly, Carla was also watching Frank get naked on stage, unbuttoning her blouse and hoping he’d FINALLY notice how much nicer her breasts looked than Darlene's.

Theresa from Digital Media was dreamily enjoying the sight of Carol Danvers peeling off that gorgeous fucking bodysuit, to show even more gorgeous fucking curves, her blonde hair shining like a beacon and Theresa was ready to run her hands through it-

By the time Loki had apparated himself and Thor into the middle of the club, it was silent, the raucous music gone and only the bestial grunts and slavering of the things currently feeding on the women.

“By the Nine…” gasped Thor, instantly calling Mjölnir to him as he went back to back with Loki, who’d been searching for Mina. He found her writhing furiously against the incubus grappling her from behind. The truly amusing miscalculation of Midgard mythology - he thought while sending twelve daggers sailing through the air at the demon - was believing that the Incubi were attractive and seductive. They were repellant, horrifying, a grisly amalgamation of sinew, rot and slimy, mottled skin. They actually made the Plesticites the Avengers slaughtered that day look appealing. This one’s maw opened, showing jagged, rotting fangs as it screamed in rage and agony, punctured by the dozen blades in a tidy, cross-shaped pattern and falling off Mina’s back like a sack of meat.

Thor’s hammer tore through another of the creatures, making the woman holding it scream “Leonardo! Don’t leave me! I believe in your Nature Alliance!” before she collapsed. And then the battle was on. Over twenty of the Incubi, mouths dripping black blood that sizzled like acid on the floor stalked toward them. They were so. Fucking. Hungry. They had planned this Valentine’s Day massacre for a couple of decades and no upstart Asgardian royalty was going to take their feast from them. Complicating matters was that most of the demons were able to hold onto the image of whatever their victim was imagining, and for many of the girls - particularly MaryBeth from Offshore Accounts who had dreamed of getting into Captain America’s red, white and blue suit for years now - were unwilling to let go of the Incubi draining them to death.

Black blood and gnarled, twisted limbs torn from desiccated flesh flew through the smoky air as the princes of Asgard ripped their way through the thicket of demonic visitors, as he leaned back gracefully to avoid a spray of ichor, Loki watched Mina leap on to the back of the incubus currently finishing off an unconscious Darcy. The foolish creature still wore a dreamy smile on her red-lipsticked mouth, and she slid gracelessly to the floor as her rescuer stabbed the creature in the back of the neck, shoving hard to get the razor-sharp blade through its hide. He spun in one more circle to finish off the fiend sneaking up on Thor before turning back to seize Mina.

“You had to burst in here. Creating such a fuss.” The voice was beautiful, well-bred and slightly amused. The creature it belonged to was perfection, everything a man should be - blond, very tall with a tight, perfect ass and red, full lips. And in one long-fingered hand, it was gripping the throat of his Mina, easily holding her off the ground as she kicked and thrashed, clawing at his muscled forearm. “There are so very many pretty, lonely girls in this city, on this night of all nights. And yet, you insisted on bothering ussss.” The man hissed the last word and displayed a mouth full of alarmingly sharp, needle-like teeth. “Now, I shall consume this meaningless human in front of you. Its mouth opened horribly wide, like a snake’s dislodging its jaw and Loki’s hand came up again, inhumanly, impossibly fast and threw his last dagger, a gleaming silver blur that nicked Mina’s throat, sending a spray of blood into the open mouth of the demon behind her.

It let out a scream of agony, smoke pouring from its throat and slamming on to the filthy floor, writing and howling before abruptly disappearing in a puff of sulfurous smoke, along with the remains of the other incubi.

From there, it was really just a matter of cleaning up and damage control. The little club was suddenly packed with SHIELD agents and, Loki noted sourly, Doctor Strange, who was attending to the women, briskly erasing their memories of the night and putting in a suggestion of a gas leak.

“How original,” Loki sneered.

Bucky walked up behind him. “And here I thought my night was the worst Valentine’s Day choice ever.” He patted him lightly on his expensively suited shoulder. “You okay? Mina, too?”

“Indeed,” Loki said approvingly, “she slew one of the creatures herself.” He looked at the soldier again and decided to do something he traditionally considered loathsome. A bit of matchmaking. “However, your help is needed immediately for Miss Lewis.”

Bucky frowned, looking over at a pale Darcy, two paramedics still trying to bring her around. “What can I do?”

Thor was close enough to be eavesdropping shamelessly, and he leaned in. “An incubus bite can only be reversed in one way, my friend.”

Picking up the thread, Loki walked Bucky closer. “The incubus presents the vision of the person the victim desires most. It is why they are irresistible. As it happens, Miss Lewis believed she was watching you perform for her.”

“What?” Bucky choked, going a little pale himself.

“You must … attend to her in order to heal her, I am certain you know what we are saying,” Loki finished smoothly. When his friend leaned down to cautiously pick the girl up, he made a negligent gesture with one pale hand and send the two of them back to Barnes’ quarters in the Tower.

“Brother,” Thor boomed, “did I just see…? Was that a … good deed?”

In a flash, another of his brother’s daggers was at his throat. “Never say such a repugnant thing to me again!” Loki snarled, eyes narrowed as Thor backed away, chuckling.

“I must return to Jane,” he said, picking up Mjölnir and turning to the door. “And I believe you have a beautiful woman of your own to attend to.”

Placing his hands in the pockets of his beautiful suit, Loki strolled to Mina, who was attempting to wipe some of the gore off her skin. “Oh, my god,” she gagged a little, “I smell like something that washed up on the beach. How is it that you look perfectly put together?”

A corner of his mouth turned up, just slightly. “I am a god.” Her pretty face fell and she went back to scrubbing futilely at her dress. “That was a rather fetching gown,” he offered.

“Was is the operative word here,” she sighed, giving up. “You’re bad luck for expensive dresses.”

“Perhaps if you’d been waiting in my rooms at the Tower like a good girl,” he said haughtily, “your dress would be intact.”

“What?” His usually sweet-natured, mild girl threw the filthy bar towel at him. “Seriously? So you could dump me in person? How nice of you! That’s just never going to-” With a sigh, Loki seized her around the waist and they were gone.

“Geddoff me!” Mina was wiggling, trying to get loose from Loki’s steel grip.

“Such a bad girl,” he said disapprovingly, “I must seek you out in a club catering to male nudity, save you from the Incubi and this is your gratitude?”

“Gratitude! Gratitude?” Her eyes were furious slits and she was snarling like a feral cat. “You DUMPED me! You have no right to-” Releasing her abruptly, he smiled a bit to hear her startled scream and then the huge splash. Hitching his trousers, Loki seated himself on a rock outcropping, waiting for her to surface. Mina did, paddling and splashing furiously in a rather adorable fashion until she was calmer. Wiping the water out of her eyes, she glared up at him. “Where are we?”

“This is Valeria,” he said, settling more comfortably. “It is an undeveloped planet that Asgard holds in guardianship. It is one of the last pure places in the universe.” As she swam closer, his clothes disappeared and he joined her in the water.

Mina gritted back a simper as she watched him rise from the crystal water, the waves sluicing off his hard body as he smoothed his wet hair off his face. “If it’s undeveloped, why are we here?” A wicked little smile graced his lips and she groaned audibly.

“I keep a vacation cottage here,” he said, swimming around her in circles. “Just a humble abode when I require peace and quiet.”

“Then, why am I here?” she pursued.

“Because you long to travel and take a safari in a far-flung country, Africa, perhaps. You wish to see wild animals and places undefiled by man.”

Mina flushed. “You’ve been looking at my Pinterest account again!”

“Darling…” Loki drew her onto his lap in the water. “Valeria has over 1,930,000 species of animals that have never been seen anywhere but here. I shall take you all over this world tomorrow and show you creatures you never imagined. Animals no other human eye will ever see.”

Looping her arms around his smooth shoulders, Mina gave him a weak smile. “Was that what you meant when you told Thor that we would no longer be … something by Valentine’s Day?”

“Of course, foolish girl. I’d planned this off-world safari for you for some time-” Loki’s answer was cut off when she pressed her mouth to his.

“So you weren’t breaking up with me,” she mumbled, not meeting his gaze.

Loki pursed his mouth. “Will there ever be a time you do not doubt me, my Mina? Where you will not compare me to the utterly pedestrian fools you have been with before me?”

She did feel terrible. But warm and kind of glowing inside at the same time. So when her god leaned back against the warm rocks and spread his long legs with an utterly filthy leer, she slipped deeper into the heavenly water, swimming between his knees. “Allow me to make it up to you, my King,” Mina said in the sweetest of tones. Loki was fighting a smile, she could tell, but he nodded regally. Putting his perfect, thick cock into her mouth was never a hardship, she thought, sucking carefully on the tip and fluttering her tongue on the sensitive underside. Lunging to bring the length of him down her throat, she enjoyed the low growl that rattled through his chest. Carefully cupping his scrotum with one hand, she slid her finger along the sensitive flesh behind his sac. One hand came up to pet her wet hair as his hips thrust up before he pulled them back.

“Such a good girl,” he praised her, chest heaving. When she finally circled his anus with a questing finger, Loki regretfully pulled her off his painfully stiff cock. “Not this time, darling. I must make you wet and soft for me.” Mina let out a startled shriek as he simply lifted her by the waist and planted her pussy on his face.

“Oh, my god, Loki I’m going to smother you! Wait, just- Oh, godddd,” she moaned, back arching a little as she felt his cool tongue and lips play with her. She could hear the sound of birds chirping and the occasional rustle of leaves as if the animals here were creeping down to watch.

Loki gently bit one of her swelling lips and held on as she tried to pull loose. “I require your attention to be focused upon me, feasting on this juicy cunt.” When she nodded a little randomly, he slid two fingers up her channel and attacked her again, sliding his tongue back and forth before latching onto her clit and sucking gently.

When he caught her startled gaze, he winked one jade-colored eye and scraped his teeth gently across the excruciatingly sensitive tissue of her pearl, enjoying her gasp and deliciously wanton moan as she came. Carefully rearranging her shaking arms and legs, he kneeled her on all fours and crawled behind her. “You present so beautifully for your alpha,” Loki purred, “just as a good little mate should. Now raise that lovely rump of your higher. I’m going to fuck you. Mate with you. Drive you into the ground.” He’d placed the reddened tip of his cock at her entrance, and then, he shoved himself up inside her, hard. “Force you to submit to me, beg for my come. You will yowl and cry out and moan, just like a saucy little female of this place would do.”

Mina was gripping the wet earth under her, trying to keep her balance as Loki drove into her with ferocity. She had a feeling he was still displeased - and perhaps the tiniest bit wounded? - by her willingness to believe he was casting her aside. And when his big hand came down on the soft cheeks of her ass with a thunderous “whap!” she was sure of it. Loki was so big in this position - filling her and spreading her so completely that it was hard to tell where she ended and he began. Everything inside her felt pressed aside for his driving cock and it was unimaginably good. He had one hand on her shoulder, shoving her back and forth on his cock, and the other pulling and stroking at her nipples. She could feel the shower of sparks move up her spine, so close to coming! And then the heartless, diabolical God of Lust grabbed her hair and pulled her head up, putting his lips to her ear.

“Do you see them, pet?” She did - two gigantic creatures were perched on the cliffs across the pond from them, silent, but alert. They were awe-inspiring, something that looked like a cross between a tiger and a bird of prey, massive wings covered in a golden striped fur. Mina’s gasp died in her throat as she stared at the two pairs of golden eyes staring back. “They recognize us, a species dominant to them, higher on the food chain. So they will bear witness as we mate, they will not drink until we leave…” His fingers were moving faster on her breasts, squeezing and plucking at them until he felt her thighs begin to quiver. “Ah … there you are, lovely. You’re so close, aren’t you?” His thrusts were faster, shorter and sharper inside her and Mina was nearly knocked off her knees.

“Please, my King,” she moaned, “please allow me to come!”

He whispered one last, sibilant hiss in her ear. “Come. Now.” And she felt his teeth bite down into her shoulder and every last bit of sense left her, screaming and shaking, moaning as she heard him growl deep in his chest. A warning. A challenge. And the two huge creatures rose gracefully and disappeared back into the jungle as he picked his Mina up and brought her to his home.

Long after, when Loki had meticulously bathed her limp form and smoothed a glorious-smelling lotion on her sore skin, had brushed her long hair dry and then hand-fed her bites of small and utterly delicious things, Mina finally forced enough brain cells back together to ask a question or two.

“What happened with the last incubus, the one that had me by the throat?” Loki had healed her as his first action when the demon disappeared.

Kissing each of her toes, he looked up at her slyly. “Your blood, lovely. An incubus cannot bear the essence of one pure at heart. Your blood nearly destroyed him, the monster had barely the strength to retreat back to Hel.”

Mina blinked. That was not what she’d been expecting. “I don’t- that’s ridiculous,” she said shyly, “I’m no pure thing.”

Her beautiful, infuriating Valentine gracefully moved over her, knees already between hers and spreading her wider. “Oh, my sweet Mina,” he said in a tone that could only be described as tender. “You are so very, very pure and good. You redeem me.” Loki smiled down as she blinked back tears. “And now, I shall attempt to defile you in a way that only a very, very good girl can be.”

I'm starting over with a vague memory of who might like my Loki and Avengers tales. If you would like on or off this list, please let me know! Thank you. Mwah!

@what-is-your-plan-today

@sweater-daddiesdumbdork

@the-soulofdevil

@americasass81

@mdemontespan1667

@sultry-rachael

@myoxisbroken

@gigglingtiggerv2

@notpedeka

@narnianarcher

@sylviefromneptune

@winterslove1917

@kimanne723

@hawkeyes-queen

@grymrayven

@stevihj

@lizette50

@jevans2

@wolfsmom1

@devikafernando

@wegingerangelica

@nildespirandum

@alexakeyloveloki

@thebatshitcrazyfangirl

@thehumming6ird

@archy3001

@iheartsebastianstan

@tomstinkerbell

@wolfpawn

@rayofdawnworld

@thecutestlittlebunbunfairy

@dangertoozmanykids101

@alexakeyloveloki

@nuggsmum

@boredbrooder

@fairlightswiftly

@inkededucatednnerdy

@nonsensicalobsessions

@viv-annelore

@eleniblue

#tumblr besties and beloveds #loki fandom #tom hiddleston #loki smut #Avengers Holidays in Hel #yet another Avengers holiday fuckup #Valentine's Day with Loki #rogue roving incubi just because I love how it sounds

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jpitha · 3 months

Text

Between The Black and Gray 12

First / Previous / Next

... and Fen was laying on something.

Her back felt something warm and moist, but also scratchy. She opened her eyes and the ceiling was impossibly blue. There seemed to only be one incredibly bright point of light overhead as well.

Fen sat up and looked around. Everything was... green. The ground was covered in green plants, there were tall plants in the distance. Trees, she realized with a start. She swiveled her head around wildly. She was outside. Growing up aboard a space station, being planetside was an odd, and slightly worrying feeling. She was used to the comfort of walls and ceiling. Here it was just open.

Fen jumped up off the floor... the ground. The light overhead... the sun was warm on her back and the air smelled... fresh. It was the only way she could describe it. It smelled nothing like Station. As she was looking around, in the distance, she saw a K'laxi running towards her. It looked like...

"Ma!" Fen took off running towards her, tears streaming from her eyes. Both from the wind and her sudden flood of emotions. They crashed into each other and she picked Ma-ren up and spun her around wildly. "How can you be here? I saw you...you"

She nodded and put her finger to her lips. Fen put her down gently onto the grass and she wrapped her arms and tail around Fen tightly. They hugged a long time.

Ma-ren looked up and beckoned Fen the bend down. She did and Ma-ren whispered in her ear. "You're dead too."

Something between a moan and a cry escaped her lips when the wormhole link ended. Fen was sitting in one of the chairs on the command deck, tears streaming freely. Gord was staring at her. "Spy, looks like it happens to her too."

"Really? I was hoping it wouldn't I hear it's not plesant."

Gord shrugged. "Some people like it, but yeah, more often than not it's a curse."

"What happened?" Fen looked around and wiped her tears with her sleeve. The chair was hot and her skin stuck to the cloth in a way that was both familiar and depressing. "I have to go back! Ma-ren was there!"

"Oh no" Gord shook his head sadly. "And this soon too? I'm sorry Fen."

"What? What? What happened? Where was I?"

"Okay. So this one is a little strange, but I assume at this point you're getting used to strange." Gord got up from the command chair and sat in the chair next to Fen. "For about one in one hundred humans, when you traverse a wormhole link, something happens. For centuries humanity's best and brightest tried to figure out what was happening, what was going on what they were seeing." Gord sighed. "As near as anyone is able to figure out, one in one hundred people die when you traverse a wormhole. But, they only die for as long as it takes to traverse. When the ship exits the other side, you come back."

"I... died?" Fen stares straight ahead, looking at nothing. "I was... outside I think. Planetside. I had never been on the surface of a planet before. It was so blue and so green."

"Earth probably. That's the only planet I know of that humanity settled on that could be described so succinctly." Gord smiled sadly. "But yeah, whether or not you really died, or if it is a hallucination or whatever, nobody really knows. "

Fen turned and locked eyes with Gord. "And it'll happen every time we use the wormhole generator?"

Gord nodded. "Every time we use our specific wormhole generator yes. If we use the Gates, or FlashWarp or even a Flip Drive it doesn't happen. But our trusty old wormhole generators? Yup."

Fen sighed. She took a deep breath with her eyes closed, and let it out through her nose. "Okay." She chuckled. "Okay! Let's do this!"

Gord leaned back, surprised. "You're really all right?"

Fen laughed. "I am Gord. You know why? I can see Ma-ren again. I don't even have to die permanently. Every time we link, I can see her again, even if it's just for a moment. It's like... anticipation of the future when we're finally together forever. I'll take that. It's more than what I thought I was going to have just a few hours ago."

Gord smiled. "Lots of people I knew who died when we linked saw loved ones. Most of them were granted peace by it. A few were haunted. I don't think I ever saw anyone who was energized by it." He shook his head. "Thousands of years, and you still manage to surprise me." He looked up. "See Spy? This is why I hang around. This is why I'm still here after all this time."

"You mean to tell me it's not because nobody else will have you?" Spyglass laughed.

Gord crossed his arms and frowned, but his eyes smiled. "It can be two things." He got up and walked back to the command chair. "Spy where are we now?"

"We're on approach to Habilamen. I've reached out on the frequencies that you've recommended; they've contacted me and are granting us 'provisional' permission to dock and seek repairs."

Gord stood. "Well, it'll be boring to just sit here and wait. Come on Fen."

Fen stood. "Come on and do what?"

Gord raised an eyebrow. "If you're going to be able to go back to that Gren station, you're going to have to know how to work a battle rifle right? Come on then. I printed a couple out and some practice rounds. I'll teach you how to shoot."

Even though Fen grew up on a Gren Station her whole life, and was used to things being large, she was still taken aback at how large Spyglass was. Maybe it was because it was just the two of them and Spyglass, maybe it was because she had never really been on a starship before, she wasn't sure. But, when Glen led her down the ship and opened a door to a cargo bay that was easily larger than the entire forty third floor she gasped.

"I keep forgetting you never really went into space." Gord grinned. "It's fun to be around someone who is still surprised by things that I'm used to. Set up near the door to the cargo bay was a table with two battle rifles, extra magazines and further downrange a set of targets. Gord approached one. "Okay, so-"

The training continued on for the rest of the day. Fen learned about proper safe handling, loading and unloading, cleaning, maintaining and sighting even before she fired her first shot. Gord didn't mention it, but he was impressed. Fen took to it like a natural. By the second day she was hitting the target. By the third, she was gaining accuracy. By the time they reached Habilamen she was entirely competent.

Habilamen was an Innari station, one of the manganese breathers. It is a large and wide galaxy, and oxygen is far from the only power source that sapient life uses. The Innari have nearly no bones at all and their skeleton structure is a cartilage-like substance. Fen had never heard of them before, and Glen spent the last few hours before docking explaining protocol. They would have to wear suits while aboard Habilamen. "Let me do the talking." Gord said as they were suiting up. Spyglass had some positively ancient suits in a bay near the airlock. Gord made a face when he saw them, but they passed all the checks and he declared them 'good enough' for visiting the Innari.

"Back during first contact, the Innari were so afraid of humans, that people would go aboard their stations with their helmets completely opaque and would project icons onto the helmet with a cartoon of their face. We don't have to do that anymore, but don't expect a warm welcome." Gord reached behind Fen and fiddled with her suit. She felt some fans and the circulation improved.

"Why are they afraid of us?" Fen checked her seals like Gord showed her. All green.

Gord chuckled. "They said it was because humans kind of look like a predator from their deep past, but I'm not so sure. I think it might be more than a little good old fashioned xenophobia. They thought oxygen breathing life was super rare in the galaxy until they met us. We introduced them to the other peoples around us who also breath oxy, and I think it shattered their worldview a little." Gord sealed his helmet and toggled the suit-to-suit radio. "Do you hear me?"

"Yes, you're clear."

"Good. Okay, let's go say hi. Remember, just follow my lead, do the gesture of welcome like I taught you, and let me do the talking." Gord stepped into the airlock.

Fen followed and the door shut behind them. Spyglass was careful to evacuate all of their breathing gas before opening the outer door to the docking umbilical. After a moment, the light turned green, the door opened and she followed Gord out.

Immediately, Fen noticed the air. Her eyes, evolved to see through an oxygen atmosphere as they were noticed that everything had a grey cast, bordering on black and white. The overhead lights were about the same brightness as on the Gren station, but much redder. It made everything look like a dusky twilight. She fought an urge to turn on her suits flashlight.

They exited the umbilical to no fanfare whatsoever. There was a sign in their slashed and dotted script. Spyglass was handing translation duty, and it overlaid the translation in her vision. It told them to turn to the right to head to immigration

While they walked, Fen looked around. She saw many of the boneless Innari, going about their day. They seemed to slide along the floor, their... legs moving in a way that it was difficult to tell where one ended and another began. There were other people around as well, some with two legs like Fen, and others that she could not describe without sounding insensitive. Other than the air and the people and the distance, the feeling, the ambiance, the vibe was very much like the station she grew up on.

They got into a line, and eventually reached the immigration officer. Gord stood tall and made the Gesture of Welcome. He put both of his hands together, and rubbed his palms together and then pulled his hands apart quickly. Fen did her best to copy the gesture, but it was unfamiliar, awkward.

The immigration officer was unimpressed. "Origin?" Once again, Spyglass was translating for them.

"Gren Station 52589"

"Purpose of visit?"

"Starship repair and refitting."

The immigration officer paused at that, and looked down at his pad. "Trade goods or currency?"

"Both actually."

Spyglass whispered to Fen that he was giving an expression that made him look dubious. He made a noise that Spy said was like a sigh and continued.

"No weapons aboard, keep to the common areas, sleep aboard your ship and you may stay for a tenday. One extension allowed with permission. Is this acceptable?"

Gord nodded. "Yes, we accept those terms."

The Innari touched his pad and two stickers appeared in a slot. "Apply these to your suit. They're your visas."

Gord and Fen took their stickers and applied them, and they were gently but firmly, ushered away.

They left Immigration and stepped out onto the promenade. "Come on Fen, let's go."

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #sci fi writing #humans are space oddities #humans and aliens #jpitha #writing #humans and ai #humans are space capybaras #humans are space australians #Between the black and gray

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padawansuggest · 1 year

Text

Obi-Wan: Well, I think the tech seemed to have something to do with theoretical wormholes, I thought you’d like a copy of the text on it.

Anakin: You don’t need to explain wormholes to me, I’ve had enough to know what holes they exit out of.

Obi-Wan: *wondering how recently he’d experienced such worms* I hope none within the past month?

Anakin: No, Master Che gave me a shot that made those stop. I don’t think I’ll forget about wormholes, tho.

Obi-Wan: Are you being funny or is this something else to do with Basic being your third language, again?

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #incorrect star wars quotes #anakin skywalker #ani knows aaaaaall about wormholes

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kindlingkeen · 1 month

Note

Hello!! o/ I was curious about your opinions on the whole Jason Todd is immortal idea, this post lays it out pretty well & kinda mentions him using it to his advantage:

https://www.tumblr.com/forestlingincorporated/672020812528779264/so-jason-todd-might-be-immortal

If in your asymmetrical warfare series he was immortal in this way (dies but comes back) would that change anything? Would he use that ability at all?

Thank you :D

Hello!! I’m very normal about this ask. 👀

Friend, I think about this all the time. Like this is my #1 go to I-can’t-sleep-let-me-ponder-the-nature-of-Jason-Todd’s-existence thought wormhole.

‘Cause here’s the thing. Batman 💯 killed Jason at the end of Under the Hood. This, right here, is undeniably, unquestionably, arterial spray.

He would have bled out in minutes from a severed carotid. This kind of blood loss is not a survivable.

And then ofc there’s the whole…

Argue in the comments with me if you want, but I will die (bloody from hypovolemic shock) on this hill. Bruce killed Jason with that Batarang.

But, clearly, Jay comes back. Somehow. Those purple space sparkles at the end of Under the Hood sure look a lot like the purple space sparkles that bring Jay back initially.

And then there’s that beautiful bit of narrative text that goes along with Jay’s initial resurrection:

“The strange truth of this anomaly, this wave that set so many bits of time on a different path did not change history … but set it right.”

To me, this says that there is a right way for Jason Todd to die, and Superboy Prime’s ripple in time isn’t going to stand for it going down any other way. Ethiopia was the wrong way. À la Batarang wasn’t right either. So, immortal? I don’t know. But there are definitely conditions in place surronding his exit from this plane of existence.

But how does that ripple fix Jason’s death, exactly? After Under the Hood, does Jay wake up buried in the rubble sometime later? Or has Jason’s initial resurrection become fixed in time—a nexus point, if you will, that keeps pulling Jay back in. Now that’s fun to daydream about. 👀

I agree with the Tumblr post you cited that it seems like DC was building toward something with Jason in that era, and then just dropped it. And it seems pretty in character for how Jason was being written post Infinite Crisis, that if he thought he couldn’t die, he would use that to his advantage.

So, those are my thoughts in a nutshell surrounding the possible immortality of Jason Todd.

If in your asymmetrical warfare series he was immortal in this way (dies but comes back) would that change anything? Would he use that ability at all?

Right now, AW Jason is on a path to reclaiming pieces of himself—to building something for himself outside of Batman and the Joker—things that canonical Jason didn’t have or do. I think all of that would make AW Jason less cavalier about dying, less willing to chance it, than what DC was implying for a post Infinite Crisis Jason.

It certainly hasn’t occurred to AW Jason that he could be immortal. If something were to change that, depending on the nature of those circumstances, well … I guess we’ll have to see.

Thanks for the fantastic ask, friend. Hope you enjoyed my ramblings. The implications of all of this in Asymmetrical Warfare are going to be buzzing around the back of my brain for some time to come. 🩵

Images from Batman: Under the Hood by Judd Winick.

#keen converses #my ask box is always open #my fics #asymmetrical warfare #aw lore #batfam thoughts #character thoughts #jason todd #under the red hood #jason will die when he’s good and ready and not a second sooner

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elexuscal · 1 year

Text

Network Effect, but it happens immediately on the tail end of Exit Strategy

this is one of the funniest fandom AUs out there, imo. (also one of the saddest! but also like. in a fun way)

Mensah, Pin-Lee, Gurathin, and Ratthi are just SO glad to be home soon

they're also really glad that SecUnit seems to have regained the ability to talk

even if like, only 40% of what it says seems to logically follow whatever conversation they were having

like that sounds like a dig but they seriously have spent the last 2 weeks thinking its brain might have been totally fried

so they get in a shuttle to go back to the station when

mysterious ship appears out of nowhere?

YOINKS them

murderbot is like 'hey that's my friend wtf ART'

"what do you mean," its humans ask

it Does Not Clarify

maybe just says like a random stream of code, aloud. completely impossible to parse

i'd like to remind everyone that Dr. Ayda Mensah has some Severe Kidnapping Trauma that has not managed to start unpacking at all at this point. and now she's been kidnapped. again.

at least her friends are along for the ride this time???

(she feels awful for being this relieved)

ship is totally empty when they get on board

except for creepy grey people

SecUnit started being able to walk around its MedBay like 47 hours ago

it was not pretty. it fell on its face like. 3 separate times.

now it has to kill a bunch of targets

it still manages it but not with anywhere NEAR its usual level of grace

this just makes it more angry

it does not help that it keeps forgetting where it's in its own timeline

keeps pinging ART. keeps being surprised when it doesn't answer. all over again.

the humans are the ones doing the majority of the Smart Detective Work and making theories on What's Happening Here and interrogating Ras and Eletra

Ras and Eletra who, by the way, are like 'hey your SecUnit is seriously glitching you should probably put it down.'

'no'

'okay we can at least turn it off and shove it in one of the mortuary tubes-'

"NO"

"yeesh okay we're just giving a suggestion" [Eletra and Ras exchange a 'get a load of these crazy freeholders' look behind their backs]

MB is currently have a conversation, aloud, to a crumpled drone

good news: being in a familiar environment is helping MB's memory retrieval

bad news: those memories are letting MB know something Is Very Very wrong

1-3 emotional breakdowns happen during this point. One of them is definitely Murderbot's

it's even worse than in canon Network Effect

"My friend is DEAD"

they haven't found ANY dead bodies at this point, though, so...

PresAux starts realising maybe the dead friend is... an AI?

Ras's brain gets fried around this point. Then Ratthi, as the closest thing the team has to a doctor, has to cut Eletra's chip out of her neck. so he probably gets one of those emotional breakdowns.

'wtf how did we get out of a wormhole so fast??'

In this time-line, Murderbot is in no state to fight AND do complex coding attacks at the same time

(it's really in no state to be doing even one of these by the way but oh well)

that mean Pin-Lee and Gurathin are absolutely doing the majority of fighting off TargetControlSys

and then MB gets that delayed datapackage from ART

"For Eden? what the fuck does that mean?"

is it a religious message? a code?

"hey isn't there a character named that in Sanctuary Moon?" asks Ratthi

MB might be in a pitched firefight at the time but that is no reason for it to not ramble about its blorbos and how cool Eden is

Mensah starts getting an idea

They find ART's secret coding bundle

they try putting in 'Eden'. doesn't work.

okay that was too obvious. try 'Sanctuary Moon'.

nope

'SecUnit'? no

'Murderbot'? long shot but... no

since they have a copy of MB's purchase contract, they have its feed address documented. it's a real long shot, but they are desperate at this point. they try it

Re-Load in Progress. Please stand-bye.

i honestly have NO idea what MB says when ART comes online this time

maybe something super sweet and sappy. or maybe it's even less coherent than in canon

either way, the humans are like 'Holy Shit' upon realising who/what Murderbot's friend ART really is

#murderbot diaries #murderbot #network effect

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normal-horoscopes · 2 years

Note

"yeah bro the election was totally rigged there's a simple explanation"

Step 1 of the explanation: All Asian People Are Made Of Slime.

LITERALLY

"Nah bro COVID was made in a lab. It's simple: When the Alpha-Draconians exited the wormhole back in 40,000 BCE-"

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rosewind2007 · 1 year

Text

Company gunship bot pilot!

Where are you now?

What happens to the Exit Strategy Company Gunship Bot Pilot?

It makes its presence known right from the start:

“The gunship’s bot pilot pinged me curiously. Active SecUnits are never carried on gunships because they’re right, it’s too dangerous; we’re shipped on unarmed transports as cargo. The bot pilot had communicated with SecUnits over the feed on missions, but it had never had one aboard before.”

Ooh bot pilot! You know how dangerous SecUnits are supposed to be, and you’re pinging it? Curiously?

Not just curious:

“The bot pilot was curious and friendly”

Then the first indication the ship is under attack:

“I lost the rest because I caught an alert from the bot pilot to the gunship’s human captain. ”

Go bot pilot, trying to get the humans to see the danger!

Things escalate pretty quickly—

“I slipped all the way into the ship, into the pilot bot’s hardware.”

Ahem, Murderbot—you’ve only just met!

“The bot pilot asked if the Attacker was a construct created from human neural tissue, rather than a bot, and indicated points in the analysis that would confirm that theory.”

So this pot pilot is bright! Keeps calm. You’ve got a SecUnit in your hardware and you’re under attack and you manage to spot what the Attacker is! Go bot pilot!

“The bot pilot wanted to know what we should do. It was a good question.”

“Then bot pilot disengaged SecSystem.

I knew we had to do it but it was terrifying to be so vulnerable. I could feel Attacker bearing down on bot pilot, on me. I told bot pilot we needed to protect this important information so the company could retrieve it later and that I would hide it in the shuttle. Bot pilot ripped the confused ShuttleBotPilot out of its memory core and I dumped the data bundle into its place.

And Attacker transferred itself into the shuttle’s system.

Three things happened at once: (1) ShuttleSecSystem walled the shuttle’s comm system. (2) Bot pilot deleted its own comm system codes and I overloaded and fused its hardware. (3) My body told Dr. Mensah and Pin-Lee, “Now.””

Phew! Murderbot and bot pilot working as an integrated team! Yay!

“The gunship was moving slowly at that point, so the shuttle didn’t drop very far away, but with our comms fried it might as well have been on the other side of the wormhole. Attacker was gone, trapped in the shuttle.

Hah, I thought. Take that, you fucker.

Ship’s feed and system codes were trashed, but bot pilot was already reasserting control. SecSystem did the system equivalent of staggering drunkenly to its feet. Someone on the flight deck said, “Oh, mothergods, we’re clear!”

Bot pilot regained control of its weapon system and queried the captain. The captain said, “Confirm, fire.”

I stayed long enough to enjoy the boarding shuttle disappearing in one explosive burst, and the multiple impacts breaching the Palisade ship’s hull, then pulled my scattered code together and dropped back into my body. It felt weird.

Mensah and Pin-Lee still stood in the corridor, watching me worriedly. “We’re clear,” I told them.

Pin-Lee made an excited whooping noise and Mensah grabbed her and swung her around.

I felt weird. Very weird. Very bad.

Performance reliability at 45 percent and dropping. Catastrophic failure—

I felt my body crumple, but I didn’t feel myself hit the deck.”

So…quite the adventure for bot pilot! And the last it sees of Murderbot is: when you’ve grabbed your guns, got you human pilot to give permission, and you and the SecUnit watch the fireworks together…

And then, it’s gone.

I mean, this has GOT to have been the most intense date any bot pilot has ever been on?

It surely is never going to be quite the same? Its human pilot is surely going to notice? Does it miss Murderbot? Does it now have a strange obsession with Sanctuary Moon?

Does it miss Murderbot?

Is it looking for it?

#murderbot #the murderbot diaries #murderbot diaries #martha wells #exit strategy #company gunship

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billford-dump · 1 year

Text

The nightmare realm was not initially a prison for Bill- it was a death sentence.

By the time he was a big enough problem to attract the attention of the greater multiverse, he was too powerful to be stopped or killed normally. It was decided that he would be sealed in an old, decaying dimension on its last legs, and when that universe finally rotted away it would take Bill and his associates with it. Instead, Bill rewrote the laws of reality in that new universe, turning it inside out and changing it from a true dimension completely sealed off from everything else to what amounts to a giant wormhole nexus connected to thousands of dimensions at a time.

Unfortunately if he tried to leave through any of the natural wormhole connections, the rewritten laws of physics that kept it in one piece would collapse before he was able to exit on the other side. That's why he needed a portal built, something with the express purpose of intersecting with the wormhole from the outside without getting tangled in it.

#bill cipher #gravity falls

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the-secondborn-of-seven · 6 months

Text

Witch of Penchant

Prologue: Part 1/4

Shingen x MC (Mai)

the thread of INSPIRATION | Next

Logline - A women in nuns clothes, with an unsettling resemblance to a fox, the witch of Honno-ji, has traveled back in time to an era she has already lived through. She accidentally saved the life of Nobunaga Oda, but now she wonders how else the past has changed.

2200-ish words

Nobunaga scolded him. “Let her be. Her name is Mizusaki Mai. Oh yes and she saved my life.”

Mitsuhide looked surprised, wide eyes, “You saved Oda-sama’s life…?” snakey smile, “And you’re such a slender thing. but it appears your courage makes up for it.” Mai rolled her eyes, returned an equally disturbing, but unusually toothy smile, scoffed, then continued scanning the scene.

This starts as you would expect it, a woman and man find themself at a lonely stone monument as the rain starts suddenly. Although, this is not an unusual spot for the woman to be; witches like her throughout time and space have been the protector of rifts, weak spots in the fabrics of reality. Mai sighed as the undergrad fell through the wormhole before she dived in after him. She would have liked to return him to his time more immediately, but he apparently distracted her enough that she appeared 4 years after him. Oh well…

Mai soon found her vision to be quickly obscured with streams of billowing hot smoke. The Honno-ji shrine came into view around her, currently in flames. An armor suited man sat asleep amidst the chaos. In the year 1582, betrayed by Akechi Mitsuhide, Oda Nobunaga committed seppuku amidst the fiery wreckage of Honno-ji. Or that was how the past played out when she successfully protected the rift from mortals. With the young man nowhere in sight, she infrured he fell into some time before, and the effects of such meant it was nothing like the first time she lived through it.

A man (presumably Oda Nomunaga) dressed in a suit of ancient Japanese armor was sitting on the floor, head tilted down in sleep. Another man holding some kind of walking stick approached the unconscious man. As Mai’s watery eyes squinted in the smoke, she recognised the gleam as that of a sword. Sparks from the flaming paper walls illuminated the sharp edge of the raised metal blade.

With a sharp intake of the oxygenless air, the witch bellowed a wordless cry at the armored man. Typhoon force winds suddenly blew from her mouth, and the man slammed through the paper walls out of sight. The sword clattered to the ground in a cruel imitation of church bells. Mai heard him scramble for the blade before fleeing.

She hurried over to and crouched beside the unconscious man and shook him urgently. He finally woke, eyelids lifting lazily, ”Who are you?” he sputtered out into the smoke.

“No time for introductions. Come on, let’s get you out of here!” Mai said with a chuckling tone. Mortals were always so confident in their self importance.

"Take my hand!” He obeyed, grabbing her hand. She shifted her weight before hauling him to his feet.

Concerning shapes flitted by in the edges of the pair's vision. They were ignored in favor of an exit. The wooden stairs won’t hold much longer.

The exit came into view! The pair burst through the door, into the refreshing, blessed cool night air and barreled down the path, far from the smoke and flames.

The temple was being engulfed by uncontrollable flames. The man glanced at the destruction before his eyes came to rest on the women in front of him. “Someone tried to do away with me while I slept,” he began, “Audacious but foolish. Killing my guards and getting that close to me is another matter.”

So those shapes had been guards-Mai sighed, she had been too distracted, if she didn’t cut this chain of distractions from her mind or the rift would fall to desecration and mortals would fall to harm.

The samurai (presumably Oda Nomunaga) meets her eyes, “You there. Woman. Let go of me.”

Mai chuckles, “Oh sorry.” She let go and pulled back. The man looked over her thoughtfully. He stared at her rakusu overtop a brightly colored kimono, the religious garment indicating her servitude to Buddhism.

“You saved my life. You may be some girl the monks snuck in for amusement but I owe you my thanks.”

“The amusement of others is neither my intention nor my job, but you are welcome.”

Mai surveyed him for injury, but found none. His pale red eyes were unsettling, proud and brutal, hair a solid black. His clothes were finely made, he stood in black armor, with red tassels and a white under-haroi. As fine as the sword and as deadly as tanegashima hanging from his belt.

“What are you staring at? Surely you know who I am.”

“I really don’t.” And Mai really didn’t, it was best not to assume in this unfamiliar past.

“You saved me without knowing who I am? Not expecting reward or favor? … So be it I shall tell you my name. I am the man who rule all under the sun -”

Definitely Oda Nobunaga. “Actually, you don’t really need to tell me.” Mai started approaching the temple. She wanted to stabilize the rift before the fire watch came.

The samurai smirked, “You’re a curious woman. No one’s ever spoken so impudently to me before.” He let out a loud amused laugh that echoed far into the night before continuing, “You intrigue me, which is almost as worthy of praise as saving my life. I am the lord of Azuchi Castle and Daimyo of Owari, Oda Nobunaga.”

Devil King of the Sixth Heaven, Nobunaga Oda-and he was just in the burning Honno-ji temple-meaning…

“Pardon me for asking something strange but what year is it?”

Oda Nobunaga looked confused at the question, “It is 1582. Why?” Because in the year 1582 betrayed by Akechi Mitsuhide, Oda Nobunaga committed seppuku amidst the fiery wreckage of Honno-ji. Mai signed.

“I’ve given my name; now it’s your turn.”

Oda Nobunaga took a full step forward and took her chin in his hand, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Oof!”

That surprised her. Nobunaga’s face was almost touching Mai’s as he smirked.

“Give me your name.”

“Mizusaki. Mizusaki Mai.”

“A good name.”

“Glad you approve. Now let go of me.”

Mai brushed off his hand and would have continued walking towards the burning temple if she hadn't heard a large group coming their way.

A finely dressed samurai, with grey hair in a white coat, a black chest piece and long lavender hakamas, ran to Nobunaga crying “Oyakata-sama, you’re safe!”

The man arrived at the front of a unit of soldiers, rushing toward the two.

“Mitsunari? Why are you here? Where is Hideyoshi?” Nobunaga said.

“Hideyoshi-sama sent me ahead. He should be here shortly.” He took in the sight of the burning temple with a frown. “We received information about an assassination attempt. It appears to have been true. I had my men search the grounds but whoever it was had already fled.“ Mitsunari glanced at the women beside him, "If I may ask who is this? I saw the two of you leave the temple together.”

"Mai, present yourself to my subordinate." Nobunaga indicated Mitsunari with a nod and then waited.

“I’m sorry, did I miss the part where I became a subordinate too? I don't have to follow your orders."

Nobunaga glared, “Then you’re choosing to disobey me?”

“It seems to be hard not too when one is so set on things going his way.”

Mitsunari coughed before chiming in, “Please this is on me. It was rude of me not to introduce myself first. My name is Ishida Mitsunari. I serve at the side of Toyotomi Hideyoshi-sama, Oyakata-sama’s right hand man.”

"Nice to meet you. I’m Mizusaki Mai."

Nobunaga gestured to Mai once again, "I don’t know who she is, but she roused me and saw me to safety.”

“She did! I can’t thank you enough for protecting our lord’s life.“ Mistunari bowed enthusiastically deep in a show of thanks.

“But what brought you here tonight?” Mitunari continued his questions, “You dress like a nun, but your attire is quite unusual. Are you from abroad?”

“It was the gods’ lightning that guided me here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a fire to be dealt with and a fox to strangle.”

“What?” “What?!” was the response from both men.

They stared in shock and then disbelief.

“You poor thing. The smoke from the fire was very disorientating, I'm sure.” Mitsunari grabbed her shoulder and began guiding her away from the smokey temple grounds.

Nobunaga laughed, “Are you claiming it was a kitsune who tried to kill me?”

“I never implied that is what the kitsune was plotting, only that I know he is involved.” One of them is referring to a wily bastard of a man, the other is referring to an actual mythical being.

Mistunari interrupted, pushing the two further away, “Sit down over there and get some fresh air. Someone will bring you a change of clothes.” Mai’s sleeves were black with soot, and the hemline was burned several inches higher.

“Once you’re freshened up, you’ll feel much better.”

“Thank you.” Mai quickly bowed as a soldier approached with a bundle in his hands.

Mitsunari said, “Now let’s get you into these shall we, Ojou-sama? Prepare a tent!” before walking off to conduct the soldiers. Mai redressed in the yellow kimono, white obi, and orange haori. She changed into the clean white tabi before putting on her old geta again. Her hair clung to her back, the two braids at her temples not unwinding. Once she stepped out of the tent, Ishida-san guided her to the center of the hastily assembled camp.

“Wait, right here.“ he said, ”I’ll bring you a cup of good clean water to clear your throat. “ With him gone the only other person nearby was Nobunaga.

"You clean up well”

Mai glared as his eyes lingered in return. She turned and kept her gaze on the entrance waiting for Ishida-san to return. The smoke from the Temple started to clear. Ishida-san’s troops must have put out the fire. As she breathed the clearing air, someone parted the curtain and entered camp but it wasn’t Ishida-san.

A fox-like man, and Mai knew fox-like, approached, “Oyakata-sama. I see you are well.”

“Mitsuhide?” Nobunaga questioned his surprise appearance.

Him? The person who started this whole incident, no—the history is different this time, but how?

“I hurried when I heard about the attack,” Mitsuhide seemed not in the least bit hurried, “but it seems there was nothing for me to worry about.”

“You worry?” Nobunaga smirked, ”Don’t make me laugh. I’ve never even seen you sweat.”

Yet another person entered the camp. This, this was a man in a hurry. “Oyakata-sama! Are you injured?” He cried!

“The only injury I suffered is my pride in letting my assailant escape.” Nobunaga responded.

“I see.”

“And now Toyotomi Hideyoshi shows up!” Mai said offhandedly, she continued to study the temple ground from a distance.

“Aren’t we outspoken? Have we met?” the correctly assumed Hideyoshi said this pointedly.

Nobunaga scolded him. “Let her be. Her name is Mizusaki Mai. Oh yes and she saved my life.”

Hideyoshi asked, “Akechi-san, what are you doing here?”

And Mitsuhide returned a, “ I was wondering the same thing. I didn’t know you were in Kyoto. What about the campaign?”

“When I heard about the threat to our lord’s life I dropped everything to come here. But I never heard anything about you being in Kyoto.”

Mitsuhide frowned, “Are you implying something?”

“Can you swear before our daimyo that you weren’t plotting anything?” Hideyoshi barked out.

Mitsuhide didn’t answer him. The two locked eyes, tension filling the space between them. Hideyoshi is already suspicious that he is responsible for the attack.

Finally, Mitsuhide said, “All men have secrets in chaotic times. Are you saying you act with no ambition of your own?”

“Stop being evasive! Confess!” Hideyoshi said, his eyes flared. He gripped his sword, ready to draw. “If I find that you played any part in this attack on our lord, Akechi-san, I’ll show you no mercy.”

“It wasn’t him…” Mai said, still facing away, she began untangling her hair.

“What?”

Mai looked back and said, "I caught a glimpse of the man who attacked Nobu—um, Oda-sama, but the drape of his clothes was all wrong. And Mitsuhide is spotless.” The bells the man wore also reminded her of monks. “And we were both covered in soot.” He still smelled of soot actually.

"Mizusaki-san, was it? Stay out of this.” Hideyoshi said rudely, “We’ll settle things with you later and learn why you’ve schemed to get so close to Oyakata-sama.”

“Excuse you,” Mai snarked,“I’m a nun with no interest in scheming-” A lie. Two actually, she hasn’t been a nun in a long while.

Nobunaga said, “Enough, Hideyoshi. Regardless of what brings Mitsuhide here, I am alive and well.”

Hideyoshi bowed his head, "My apologies, Oyakata-sama.” He immediately let go of his sword, his hand relaxing somewhat.

Nobunaga turned to Mai, “Hideyoshi, Mitsuhide. Leave us. I have something to discuss with Mai-gozen.”

"With me?“ Gozen?

They stepped outside as Nobunaga approached. "Your discourteous manners aside, you saved my life. I’m intrigued by you. You’re a woman who carries fortune’s favor of that I’m certain.”

Mai’s eyes widened. Nobunaga had slipped one arm around her waist, pulling her possessively toward him, his voice close, “How would you like to rule the world at my side?”

“Apologies, but I really must go; I have my duties, and you have your nation to unite…” And with that prediction for the man, she fled towards the edges of camp. “What did you say to Me!” Nobunaga called after her. Toyotomi-san and Akechi-san called on her but she fled the small camp, racing into the forest.

tags: @ginshoujo, @gloriouspiratenacho,

#writing #writeblr #ikemen sengoku #fanfic #ikesen mc #ikesen mitsuhide #ikesen nobunaga #ikesen shingen #yes go witch x shingen #ikesen mitsunari #ikesen hideyoshi #witch x shingen masterlist

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