#even if those things are contradictory!

[alarrylarrie]

.

#I just want to reiterate that you’re allowed to think more than one thing at once #even if those things are contradictory! #I- for example- love Louis and am (mostly) excited to see this documentary #I am also sad that Freddie is involved #for a multitude of reasons #not least of which is the exploitation factor #I just… worry about that kind of exposure a lot #so many people who were like thrust into the public as children #grow up and say how much they hated that #so let’s say Louis is his dad. fine. okay. but why expose your kid like that? #the thing is- the really fucked thing is- he (Louis) can’t win #not including Freddie seems like the obvious choice #but imagine how people (mostly rads) would have been if he didn’t? #anyway- I can be excited and worn out and nervous and sad and frustrated all at the same time #and so can you! #you don’t have to feel one way #you can feel a hundred ways #just remember that

[hawkwidows]

stoic my asssssss LMFAOOO?:!?/?/? the problem we have in this fandom is that people don't let will be soft because they're scared to treat him stereotypically (which you won't so just go for your life) and you think it's because people are "girl coding" him? .....??????!/?;!/ what tv show are you watching never speak on will byers again

#oh my god that's not even the base level of beginning to unpack All That #my head hurts that whole thing was so contradictory #it just reads like they'd been seeing things that weren't Their interpretation and so it must be wrong like #saying calling him sensitive or a crier is bad yucky girl coding and he's canon stoic ..but then calling him soft at the end?? idgi #he is all those things mentioned at the end yes correct AND also approaches/reacts to things in a non-masculine way #which just means feminine bc that's the opposite and it's not a yucky word OR putting him in a binary it's just the word to describe it 😭

[cleromancy]

it is like. technically possible to hurt tims feelings but you usually have to try pretty hard

#sometimes people are mean to him and he straight up does not notice #but even if he did notice he probably would not care. #some people in fandom take it too far and act like he like. never had any issues with insecurity self worth etc and thats also not true but #its one of those seemingly-but-not-actually self-contradictory things #like yeah he knows hes generally well-liked. yeah he doesnt realize his wellbeing matters to people #yeah hes confident in even arrogant about his skills. yeah hes also deeply insecure about what he can bring to the table #and all of it ebs and flows btwn character arcs or btwn writers or just bc sometimes a person is more secure than others #but really all i wanted to post about was like. #rotating the guy. putting him in a jar. etc #dc #text #the point was just that like. mostly being mean to him completely rolls off his back shrug emoji. he simply doesnt care

[dazais-guardian-angel]

delighted that i'm so much more fond of chuuya at this point than i was just a couple years ago. it took the stormbringer play, the cannibalism play, and the fifteen manga (still haven't gotten to those two novels in their entirety, I Will Soon I Promise), it took 6ish+ years, but i can confidently say I Get It Now. Now i just need asagiri to break him (affectionate) in the manga and actually give him a character arc already <333

#i went through my own character arc okay i have Learned #still don't really get it from the pre-light novels era but i definitely get it now #he's actually written so well in those lns it's astounding. now fr if only that could be transferred to the actual manga *sigh* #if you can't tell i'm still so pissed and betrayed by the meursault arc. on all fronts lol but chuuya was one of the worst victims ughhhh #i may be hyped about this fyodor shit rn but do not mistake that as me forgetting how angry i still am over all that anticlimactic bullshit #happy birthday chuuya you really deserve so much better </3 #been thinking so much lately about what asagiri is planning for him. or if he's planning anything at all. the signs are so contradictory!!! #i know the fandom made him a huge thing from the early anime days when he probably wasn't meant to be more than an extreme side character #why? again i still don't understand (shipping. it's shipping okay; that's why i was always unfairly biased against him lmao) #but even if that's the case then he wrote the light novels that are SO GOOD so like!!!! #now there's buildup!!!! now there's expectations for him!!!!!! #you can't just never have verlaine and adam not come back in the story again at some point #in the same way that ango did from a light novel #and how oda HAS to be addressed by the end of the story #and all the lore bs in 55 minutes #just WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING WITH CHUUYA ASAGIRI. I NEED TO KNOWWWWWW #THE SIGNS ARE VERY WORRYING BUT IN A COMPELLING WAY AND I NEED THEM TO PAY OFF SO BADLY #me going literally insane lately over a character i still claim to not be one of my favorites. lmao

[thedreadvampy]

sorry I'm on one now. Narnia is one of my Big Rant triggers.

but like. I would be lying if I said I didn't love Narnia

(everything except the Horse and His Boy, which a) even as a tiny kid made me uncomfortable with how fucking racist it is (literally there is ONE. ONE. character of colour who isn't evil, selfish, greedy and violent. even when you're 5 and white and don't really understand racism it's like. sorry there are just no nice people in this whole country? and every Narnian is lovely?) and b) is just fucking DULL partly bc of the 2 dimensional racist caricatures populating the world)

but I can't pretend for a second that it isn't specifically built around a Christian theology that's explicitly racist, hierarchical, supremacist, colonialist and The Bits I Like Least Of Anglicanism

and my FAVOURITE books in the series (except the Silver Chair which tbh is WAY less theological and way more mythology-nerd) are the first and last, which are by far the most explicitly Christian. even more so than TLTWATW.

and I can just about stand by the Magician's Nephew bc it's mostly just a mix of Christian creation myth and CS Lewis's sci fi interests in the esoteric and multiverses and it honestly feels fine. but my all time favourite most iconic Narnia book is The Last Battle and I just. cannot. justify it for a second from a political or philosophical standpoint.

it's got it all bc it's the book where Lewis is like ok hold up let me lay out explicitly what my theology is. and what he thinks it's important to say is:

Almost all Muslims are bad and evil

They worship Satan by doing Bad Evil Deeds to please him

There are a couple of Good Muslims who do good deeds. they need to be brought to the light, understand that the voice calling them to do good deeds is the Christian god, and they too can achieve the kingdom of heaven

Some people will use Christianity as a mask for exploitation and mistreatment. They are bad and their faith is false (ok fine)

...and they're doing that because they're CONSPIRING WITH THE EVIL MUSLIMS TO OPPRESS GOOD CHRISTIANS

...and THAT'S THE ONLY REASON ANYONE WOULD TELL YOU THAT GOD AND ALLAH ARE DIFFERENT NAMES FOR THE SAME GOD. because they're either conning you or because they've been misled and can't really think for themselves.

DID I MENTION. THAT MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND TRYING TO BRING DOWN CHRISTIANS.

and other than the GOD AREN'T MUSLIMS JUST THE WORST of it all, he also goes back over to more fully explain several points he's made throughout the series, such as:

white Christian public school kids are the god ordained leaders of the world and attempts to think otherwise are heretical

god places people where they need to be to serve his purpose

free will is largely an illusion - your only choice is faith or chaos, and as a godly person your actions are preordained

the problem is though. he's kind of a really good character writer? and in The Last Battle he pulls out most of his best classics (hi Reepicheep! hi Frank! hi Jill!) and gives us a whole wealth of really fun new characters (Tirian and Jewel, Emeth, Puzzle, Shift, Griffle and Ginger are all just SO FUN) and it's such a solid adventure. for me it's hands down the most FUN Narnia to read and an effective and affecting end to the series.

but like. god its unjustifiably fucked philosophy is baked into every single character and event. it's so hard to ignore. it's my favourite book in the series. it's the book that makes me angriest. it's everything right with Narnia and everything wrong with Narnia. I like it cause it asks me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy and I hate it cause it requires me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy.

in conclusion, Narnia is a land of contrasts. also occasionally brownface.

#red said #i love these books. i love the last battle especially. #fuck me they're awful philosophically though #they were probably the first chapter books i read when i was 3 or 4. they are such a big part of my life. #and I've always loved them and i still do. I'm so fond of them. #and part of that is inextricable from the Christianity of them. i think there's something really fun and interesting in the fusion of #christian myth and celtic paganism and classical myth and arthuriana and new age mysticism and sci fi multiverse stuff #like it's not. new to blend those things. but lewis is such a nerd about all of them and he blends them up in a really flavourful way #and also i think like as a kid. the utter claroty with which These Are Metaphors About Theology And Philosophy #really worked for me even though I disagreed with most of it. because it kind of wants to engage with you directly as a child #it is. to me. pretty honest about its intentions. and it digs into some moderately complex ideas for a young audience. #like they're parables not morality plays. the Goddier ones are inviting you to think and engage in a conversation about the ideas #which tbh. not a lot of kid's books did at the time and age i was reading them? #they wanted me to be thinking about the whys and hows of morality. like obviously Lewis SUPER has an opinion on the Right Answers #(i would usually. say we're diametrically opposed on most conclusions but then i was rooting for Jadis' army in LWW) #but idk Lewis's theology is interesting. he's very much pro faith and determinism but he ALSO thinks you should question stuff i think #like. it's often kind of self-contradictory but the books are pretty pro asking questions pushing back straying from the path #as long as you come back #and the last battle particularly is really clear that you're not doing a good job of engaging with faith if you don't think about it #like other than MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND BAD the main message of the last battle is. #if you don't think critically about faith then someone else will think for you and fuck you over #tirian is our hero bc he has a personal and often uncertain relationship with faith that means he refuses to get swept up in the crowd #puzzle is painted as someone who is too scared of conflict to voice his concerns #he's prepared to believe he's too stupid to have his own questions or relationship with faith and so he becomes a tool of the powerful #because he is told to trust the teachings of the church not his own heart #now. do i think this is philosophically good? generally yes but it also props up the I'M A BOLD TRUTHTELLER AGAINST THE ESTABLISHMENT #reactionary tendency. and it's written by a guy whose Unpopular Truthtelling is partly 'Allah is Satan' so. grains of salt. #buuuuut. it's probably why it resonates a lot with people like me or my mum who as kids often felt constrained or patronised #by the way adults approach obedience and blind faith #like. Lewis is advocating for FAITH. he DOESN'T think that faith should be uncritical or without discomfort

[gone-fish-mode]

post for followers only. but i want yall to know that i do not see how people can have otherkin blogs and then their dni be like "dni if you id this way *enter insult*" like fym? you think you're a dog and a bird and a dragon and a god. do u also kin a cop? r u cop kin? if you get to use a lot of labels to accurately describe how you feel then so can i. this is a two way street my man and i follow traffic laws VERY well.

#NOT meant to be against people with lots of kintypes or those specific kintypes (save for cop kin ACAB means all cops) #but like you get to just Say Things about your alterhumanity and we all respect it and respect you even if we dont understand or like it #but god forbid someone self dx or use contradictory labels or does something that u dont like..... #just something i've noticed a lot recently like DAMN.

[faitsansorganes]

get their ass ‼

#older psychiatric diction is so funny #it and modern psychiatry both describe things horribly but nowadays it's also incredibly boring #i might be developing an interest in psychiatric 'discourse' this is truly awful -_- #now the current dsm 5 description of schizoid personality disorder has reduced it to no close friendships #(except for family) #i suppose to maintain the supposed typology of complete coldness #but even in the dsm-5 there's the line: #in those very #unusual circumstances in which these individuals become at least temporarily comfortable in revealing themselves #they may acknowledge having painful feelings particularly related to social interactions #so it's still quite contradictory #largely it's only been the psychodynamicists who have really discussed this underlying pain #allanpost

[diluc33rpm]

astarion is so fucking funny as a character because conceptually he hits all the marks of a wet cat blorbo but in practice he's unbelievably hard to stand. i'll be on the bg3 companion guide and have to start CRYING from trying to find the shit under his section that gains approval. loses -15 points for gently suggesting we not massacre an orphanage in cold blood with the d&d equivalent of a nuclear warhead

#like all things considering i am still in act 1 so i'll grant you that i might just not be at the point where people start to like him #but please for the love of god he has me on my knees to be even a little redeemable. can we do one thing that's normal just as an entrée #my tav isn't even playing a straightedge good guy is the worst part they lose wyll and gale points for being too opportunistic if anything #but they still like them more than this bucko who's been all grumpy and harrumphing at their. lack of sufficient slavekeeping ? ? #SO confusing by the way because i thought i'd spoiled myself on his backstory and context makes those checks seem borderline contradictory #he's still a hilarious freak and i still have to respect the hustle #and i'll fucking do it but christ alive. #on top of that missing a lot of his scenes contributes because my dumbass is nearly starting the creche and long rested up to now about 3x #the party'll be wailing about sleep deprivation and i check their stats see they still have points ready to go and go nahh you're good #girl THIS is what i get for creating a peak performance shortresting steamroll team of fighter warlock monk and barb #managed to become so efficient i couldn't even get my blood sucked. can't have shit on the sword coast #next playthrough that mod for displaying the number of queued camp scenes is getting locked and loaded in or so help me #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 liveblog

[iknaenmal]

ok um!!! guess who may have figured all that aspec thing out :)

i might be dead wrong but! i think i might be bi cupioromantic :D

#someone said that those two terms arent contradictory and you know what!! i believe them #also. also look. i spent the past three days thinking about it and they can be two things that are real at the same time ? #but still it might be that i havent found like. the right person or whatever. though um. hm. #theres a thing thats like greyaro right? that the person is mostly aro but still might feel romantic attraction very very infrequently #makes you think tbh #is greycupioromantic a thing. just asking #ANYWAYS sorry for rambling. help #honestly i might be overthinking this...... maybe the reason is simpler and im just too dumb to see it. or to accept it #who even knows at this point!! #im going to go play splatoon i heard powersweep was real thats so sad. couragesweep you were beautiful while you lasted #ikna talks

[adanseydivorce]

ya’ll be like: show Daisy is too much angrier than book Daisy, show Daisy is too weak/dependent compared to book Daisy, I don’t like that show Daisy thinks she’s better than Billy and challenges his decisions with confidence it makes her look too arrogant, show Daisy’s lines are too corny, she’s too much of a manic pixie dream girl, she’s boring compared to book Daisy, her character development is ruined because she said she didn’t regret a good day she had with her terrible spit marriage husband even though he was terrible (like it’s a bad thing to look back on your past actions and forgive yourself/not blame yourself for how things went???), her character development is ruined because Billy saved her after she ODed and I’m going to pretend I’m mad at this because I want her character to have agency and not shipping reasons (but then at the beginning of next ep they gave you the scene where she kicks Nicky out after realizing he left her to die just like in the book so argument completely moot I giggled), she’s too shameless about the emotional affair I could respect her in the book because she fought her feelings but in the show she’s too flirty with the man the story revolves around her having an intense emotional affair with and should be crucified for it, she isn’t doing enough substances or being chaotic enough, while complaining about how her addition is/isn’t portrayed I’m going to actively ignore how her being an addict is a part of her character writing in the show and effects her actions/how she responds to things because I’d rather just make fun of and have no sympathy for her, they made her too mean and messy, they softened her character too much and she’s not chaotic enough, I hate that they focused more on her parental issues and trauma because her character isn’t about that (which could be fair ig but what do You think it should be about instead?), she’s unprofessional, she’s way too good at everything too fast and succeeds too much, also I hate that the show is focused on her so much over other characters when she’s the mc of the story which is named after her, oh and she’s a pick me girl because of a funny little comment she made while she was high and a mess to the point of injuring herself without noticing while really really depressed and heartbroken.

Ya’ll: but the writers are misogynists who didn’t write her as a complex character and that’s the issue!

#s speaks #like don’t you see your arguments about this are really contradictory as well as everything else #daisy jones #djats #like at a certain point it’s not the writers misogyny that I think is the biggest issue #(and in case anyone comes for me I have critiques of misogynistic choices with female chars on this show just check my Karen tag trust me #I’m not Not critical. But ya’ll are ridiculous!) #addiction mention tw #self injury mention tw #daisy jones and the six #like really i want to know what you liked about her in the book if this is how you feel #also there’s literally a line in the book when older Daisy says that back when this all happened she was selfish/mostly thinking about #herself and her own feelings and heartbreak. That line that’s like heartbreak and addiction are two things that make you so self centered #she was always being portrayed with those flaws just older Daisy in the book could reflect with hindsight and maturity #Daisy in the show does not have yet. #I’m not even going to touch people hating how Riley plays her those people are just plain wrong and stupid

[homophyte]

can i be so honest. every critique ive read of nope so far has been very lacking

#myposts #genuinely it seems like the only way people feel comfortable with interacting w this film is through the lens of 'spectacle bad' #without ever really defining what 'spectacle' means for the record! #it often takes of these contradictory meanings even in the same sentences which makes the whole thing feel worse bc like #i dont think YOU know what YOURE talking about #and the same w how the movie talks about race #earnestly if the only thing u think it has to say about race is like. people of color are either excluded from or tokenized in hollywood #then ur going to have to square that w ur critique that spectacle is bad end of sentence #is it the characters saving grace that they are exempted from an exploitative industry or should that industry be exploiting them?? #bc if ur saying hollywood is bad bc excluding ppl of color + spectacle exploitation u seem to be implying that we should want #people of color to be spectacized and tokenized. and i dont think most people making those statements would agree w that #i genuinely think its the fault of this overreliance on the word spectacle as the thing that holds it together #which sucks actually bc i havent even seen people super digging into the word itself and how fascinating its usage as the bad miracle is #idk. i think theres more to the movie--way more--than just the sin of looking #witnessing and understanding through the look is so significant and so good in it. it is OJ looking at emerald him Seeing her #that gives jean jacket its name. its recognization #we learn to be less afraid of the monster when we understand it--when we see it--and know it doesnt want to be looked at #do you see what i mean? #and thats aside from how it complicates the black horror narrative itself--how it highlights desperation induced by poverty #induced by racism and racially justified disregard as legitimate problems that cant be solved by galacybraining 'nopeing' out #they try to leave--and try to Not Look to abandon the spectacle as spectacle based critique says is the main concept of the movie #and thats not possible. it doesnt work. they go back and going back necessitates looking and engaging w spectacle #like literally the answer is not as simple as 'to spectacalize is Wrong' bc the victorious endstate of the movie #is for these characters to reclaim the history of spectacle theyre denied by disenfranchisement. she takes the frame by frame pictures #their names are attached to it forever and cant be forgotten as the jockey is. how can you square that?? honestly #idk. just watching this yt video where some white woman is talking about how nope is about and only about the entertainment industry #its just not the whole picture

[caffeinatedopossum]

Not triggering just personal

I really need to vent about being asexual and sex repulsed but I feel like no one will understand and I get how a lot of the things I think will sound but I really just need to for once get these thoughts off my chest without having them being morally appraised because they *aren't* my morals, they're just things I can't change.

And I don't want people to TRY to change it either! Or to try to figure what ~hOrRiBle trAuMas~ could have possibly made me "this way". It's not that I think there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that this thing needs to stay neutral to me if I ever expect to actually understand it. I want people to stop morally appraising and physcoanalyzing my sexuality through the lense of inherent trauma!!

I just want to talk about this without feeling like I need to put a disclaimer before every sentence, explaining why I feel the way that I feel. I don't know ok! I don't know why I feel the way that I feel sometimes. I'm just doing my best and I wish more people would understand that. Maybe you don't get an explanation because this is my identity and doesn't need to be justified. I just want to understand myself.

#anyway that felt good #i hope this helps you guys understand in case i ever post some of the thoughts i was referring to here #i hope this helps you guys understand how big of a deal my asexuality actually is #its not just passively accepted #i have quite literally had to mask my asexuality MORE than my autism #i want to talk more about this but anytime i do at least one person is always there #suggesting im only asexual because of trauma or asking me what the fuck im talking about because i said something about being sex repulsed #or saying 'i used to be asexual too' -_- please just dont say this to me #im trying so hard to be a good person even when my deepest instincts go against some of my morals #i dont know if i can ever change those things either #i dont know whats worse #the idea that i need to be fixed somehow to better fit mine and everyone elses idea of a better and more likeable person #or the thought that this disgust is inherent to who i am and can never be changed #it hurts so much you dont understand #it hurts so much to think that rationally its good to accept people expressing their sexualities in healthy ways #but to be consumed by this contradictory instinct that make me recoil in disgust from even the people i love #it hurts and i just need someone to acknowledge that and that im trying and that it is difficult #and maybe even that its not my fault... though idk if id really go so far as to believe that #i wish i could've chosen to be anyone else sometimes

[ashtraysystem]

another talking to the void one

bc im getting back into liking and taking care of dolls and such again, i'm sitting here wondering why the fuck i every dated anyone who made fun of or showed extreme disgust and made me feel ashamed of my interests??

like, its so much more fun to be able to share my interests with someone else, to geek out about them and say "hey look at this thing!!" and have the other person respond with the same level of enthusiasm, even if they are not totally interested in it.

people who put you down for your interests are just. not cool! people who make you feel ashamed and make you feel like you need to get rid of the things that you love are not the kinds of people you should keep in your life!!

i find myself thinking about the things that made my ex upset for no reason. the things that leave me with such an ick in my brain.

should i do a proper cord cutting spell? probably. do i have the energy or time to do one any time soon? nope! (and starshine i know you'd help me if i asked)

i just consistently think about how my ex got jealous over me giving love to my cat, how she would be grumpy that i was given my cat physical affection. and every time i see my partner give love to my cat, smile at him, baby talk at him, it brings me such joy to know that thats not something i ever have to worry about.

i also have been thinking about how my ex reacted to me liking to collect dolls and such that i can pose and brush and dress. she hated them. she thought they were creepy and made me feel bad for liking them, saying they would never have a place in our house. at the time it was said with a certain playfulness, but she was fully serious with the comment. however, i love these little figures of moments in time and personality. doing their hair, planning their outfits, posing them interacting with their environment, etc.

i've been working on restoring some older monster high dolls i have, and have been updating my partner on the progress, and they meet my level of enthusiasm about it. they know it means a lot to me, and share my enthusiasm. i cant tell if they are actually interested in it at all or not, but regardless their reactions to my messages about it makes me feel good and seen and respected.

#talking to the void #just had too many things on my mind!! #those are the two things my brain always comes bsck to and connects to my ex #otherwise i feel like ive mostly moved on? #theres a whole other thing too but #idk if im comfortable even sharing it on here into the void #its one of those things that unfortunately became a major trigger #one of those things that is contradictory to my very existence #i'm gonna talk to my therapist about it this fall tho and see if she can help me work through it #but its not time sensitive or anything #vent #rant #ex rant #ex vent #ex relationship

[neuxue]

Has the pandemic caused you to rethink your judgments of Mat & Perrin's reaction toward Rand as a channeler in the early books of the series? Specifically, dealing with people who don't want to mask or social distance up or refuse to get vaccinated?

I don't think that's the analogy I would use, for the main reason that vaccination, masking, and social distancing are things people choose not to do (obviously with some exceptions, more on that in a second), whereas channelling is something Rand is narratively stated to be unable to help.

So if we really wanted a Covid analogy, it would probably be a closer fit to liken him to someone who is, say, severely immunocompromised, can't safely get a vaccine, and is also classified as a key worker and thus can't isolate. Which would be a combination of factors that would mean he's very likely to get Covid, probably have severe symptoms of it, and also due to factors outside of his control spread it to others.

Leaving that analogy aside... in terms of Mat and Perrin's reactions towards learning Rand can channel, I think it's very much set up to be a frustrating situation to observe as a reader. Because of course you can see where they're coming from: this is a thing of nightmares for them, a thing they've heard horror stories about their entire lives. This is something that could hurt or kill anyone close to him, and they're close to him. It's terrifying and they're entirely unprepared and unequipped to deal with it. They're young and in many ways naive and this is so far above their paygrade; of course they don't handle it well.

But we're also watching this from Rand's viewpoint, and so as the reader you are positioned to understand that this isn't something he chose, and is something he would at that point rid himself of if he could. You're positioned to see how young and scared and alone he is, how terrified he is of this power he holds and the harm it might do. You're positioned to see how badly he needs his friends not to turn away from him.

Which doesn't mean he's Right and they're Wrong; it's frustrating (in a good/satisfying way, as a reader, at least in my opinion) precisely because as an outside observer you can see where everyone's coming from... but you can also see how it's going to actively make things worse, because that's how the story is set up. It's a point of conflict established very early on, and narratively it absolutely does its job.

And I'm probably even more fed up with protagonist-centred morality than I was when I started these books, so maybe I'd be more balanced in my articulation of my reactions to those scenes (though on the other hand I'm also fed up with the idea that you have to take a perfectly balanced stance on every comment you make on a work of fiction or else it's tacitly assumed that you Side With Character A And Hate Character B, but we'll just. shelve that essay for another day)... but again I think the point of those scenes is to be frustrating, and to make you as a reader want to shake everyone in them and go 'I get where you're coming from but this is going to fuck things up so much!' but also they can't hear you and ultimately if they could there'd be no story so the frustration is part of the experience, and part of the enjoyment.

And this was years ago now but I think much of my frame of mind when commenting on those scenes was one of 'aahhhh, no, don't do that, that's going to end so badly!' but not in the sense of criticising, if that makes sense. They react in a way that's absolutely in-character and understandable. They also react in a way that is narratively crafted to Fuck Things Up. And at book 2 of a series, Fucking Things Up is kind of the point - so as a reader you get to watch it and go 'uh oh' the way you sit on a roller-coaster car as it starts climbing a very, very high ascent.

#something I've often found challenging in the course of the WoT liveblog #is making it clear when I'm Actually Criticising something vs when I'm just... #reacting the way the text wants me to be reacting? #it's one of those 'meet the story where it is' kinds of things sometimes #the narrative WANTS you to be frustrated or excited or scared or whatever #and you can embrace that on one level even if on another level you're looking from a different perspective #you can sympathise with a character's position because that's what the narrative intends #while ALSO understanding why other characters behave the way they do #one of the joys of fiction is that you can look at a conflict and feel like /everyone/ is 'right' (or like no one is) #you can pick every side or some sides or no sides #you can hold entirely contradictory views or sympathies or analyses simultaneously #do I want to shake Mat and Perrin until they pull their heads out of their asses? sure! #do I think that the story would probably be less satisfying if they were on board with it all from the start? also yes #anyway that was a digression and perhaps not the most coherent one but hey that's what tags are for #asks #anon #wheel of time #covid cw

[emometalhead]

.

#having a time so I'm here to rant about a couple things #I'd say I use Tumblr like a diary but I have an actual diary that I don't write this much info for #so like after being sick + concussed I'm doing much better now! no lingering symptoms of either anymore and I'm grateful #caught back up on my school work and I'm feeling in good standing for the rest of the semester #feeling fine thinking about the next couple semesters as well #basically this is just me establishing that I've been in a decent mental state lately. yay! #that's shifting a little. not entirely! I'm fine. just struggling with a couple things so I'm writing them out before they really affect me #I'm upset with my mom's opinions on gay people. she goes back and forth between really supportive and really homophobic comments so quickly #just the other day I was excited because she said something positive in response to seeing cars decked out in pride stuff #today she said lesbians can't have kids and expressed that she'd be disappointed if I 'chose' to be one bc 'there's expectations' #like what is that supposed to mean????? #I am gay and I want kids one day. those statements aren't contradictory to one another but I can't tell her that. #switching gears! #I have driving anxiety and hit and run OCD #basically driving makes me very anxious. I am constantly convinced that I've hit someone/something/caused an accident in some way #going over any bump or uneven road makes me feel certain I've ran someone over #I spend LOTS of time looking behind me in my mirrors to check for bodies/broken things/damaged vehicles or just to check for potholes #this causes further worry that I'll cause an accident by not paying attention to what is ahead of me #I also can't trust my memory. my brain tells me I've repressed memories of the accident I caused. this makes me confused to the point that #I no longer remember my route or even where I am. I'll assume I got off route and make panicked turns that actually get me lost #because of this I'm heavily reliant on visual markers to remind me I am on the right path. unfortunately it is fall now. #the nature on my route looks different than it did a couple weeks ago and it's throwing me off. plus there's new construction. #my usual environment has changed and now I'm back to being as nervous about my school commute as I was at the beginning of the semester #it's all just a lot #okay I'm done now. just needed to get that out before I went into a spiral #hope everyone is having a good night 🖤 #ashley rambles

[nuoc7mia]

i finished the new chapter like it was my first meal in days.

#moon talks #it went in a totally different direction but i’m glad she deviated from my expectations bc i did not want him to explode #and tbh shima isn’t the type of person to have a massive outburst anyway? i was prob just projecting on him 💀 i think it’s sweet how #perceptive mitsumi can be even if she isn’t culturally super savvy / like i was abt yo cry a bit when she said those kind words to shima #i will say tho this cleaned itself up a lot neater than i expected? i don’t feel like this is entirely over until shima is able to address #his feelings avt the roles he plays in ppl’s lives (and while mitsumi helps him realize that there is a reality where he doesn’t have to fit #a role i think it ultimately has to be him that changes smthing / also i feel like egashira wojld help him acknowledge it? since they always #felt like opposite sides of the same coin to me + their prev dynamic) #shima’s just like me tho fr #i do not have the words rn bc my midterm is tmrw but i love how he is characterized bc he’s allowed to be complicated and contradictory #edit: waitt i just read a theory abt him being jealous and i lowkey kind of agree! just for different reasons :3 i think this scene would #solidify a desire on shima’s end to hold onto mitsumi as the first person who liked him without pretences and bc his act doesn’t work anymor #the insecurities sprout faster + combine that w her other growing friendship w the vice pres and you could *potentially* get smthing uglier #not saying that i’m wishing for him to be vindictive or want jealousy in regards to romance i just think thaf it’s a v normal response esp #for someone like shima who grounds a lot of his self worth in how he can appease others #and smthing this manga does RLY well is establish the fact that bad/negative behaviors and emotions do not go away easily—that it takes time #adn effort to be able to change for the better #ppl here on tumblr are so big brained sometimes LOL i didn’t rlly think abt jealousy arc until i saw the post / just that there needs to be #a bigger catalyst for things yo change bc this isn’t rlly new w mitsumi