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inkskinned · 8 months

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love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

#writeblr #warm up #ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from:#15% literally don't even touch water #an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP #15+35 =50%#like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap #btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water''#which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes #ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild #i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me #but no they're just confidently wrong.....#182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6 #that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week.#ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho #this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded #in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair #or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS.#men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies #i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health.#this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become.#like they don't try to hide it anymore.

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uncanny-tranny · 9 months

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To any disabled person undergoing tests to find What's Wrong: I hope your results come back the way you hope and that you receive the help you need. I hope you are not denied care, I hope you are taken seriously even after this, and I hope that you will be taken care of compassionately

#disability #currently going through something like this for myself and while i doubt there's anything 'wrong' i still did it #people are always weird about people who are disappointed or devastated about 'normal results' but...#...it's because normal results don't mean much when you still have the issue at hand...#...if my test came back that my back is physically normal that doesn't indicate that i don't have back pain does it?#because i am still in pain so often even if i have a 'physically normal' back...#...just as an example but i don't think a lot of abled people 'get it'#also like... if your tests are coming back 'normal' every time that might give your care providers pause...#...and they might just start infantilizing you or treating you like a hypochondriac...#...'are you SURE [problem] isn't just anxiety?' 'are you SURE you're actually experiencing [x] or are you exaggerating it?'

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dollopheadsandclotpoles · 1 year

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The Ealdor episode is so fucking wild. Like, Merlin hears his village is in trouble and his mom is having a tough time so he’s like ok bye I’m going home forever and Arthur is like…. wait you're never coming back? So his besotted ass just follows him there. Like he's the ONLY heir to the throne and he says nothing to his father, just leaves in the middle of the night to go to some random village that isn't even a part of his kingdom. He goes up against a bunch of ruthless bandits with a village full of utterly untrained fighters just cause he wants to bring Merlin home I'M

#gay ass episode I swear #bbc merlin #merlin #arthur pendragon #merthur #merlin x arthur #arthur x merlin #ya'll always talk about how Merlin would do anything for Arthur #but Arthur would also literally do anything for merlin #merlin doesn't even ask for his help #Arthur just can't bear the idea of never seeing Merlin again #ACTUALLY THERE'S NO CONFIRMATION THAT MERLIN WOULD EVEN COME BACK WITH HIM #he just loves him so much

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beansnpeets · 14 days

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Thinking about human behaviour compared to animal behaviour again.

It's funny to hear people (the older gens) complaining that "kids these days are lazy, they don't wanna work, etc." What do we get for busting our asses? There is no reward. Many will never own homes. Many are unemployed, trying to find work, and nobody will hire them because they don't have a million years experience and a masters degree OR they want people to work for minimum wage??? People are giving up because there is no reward. Why would we do all this for nothing?

Same as a dog that won't recall when you haven't reinforced it with a reward. Your dog isn't going to do what you tell it to if there is no incentive. No, your dog SHOULDN'T listen just because you're boss and it should respect you. That isn't how it works. They don't think that way. And honestly neither do people.

When we went hiking Sprocket wasn't always taking treats gently from me when I recalled her or she checked in and I rewarded and my one friend told me to stop giving her treats. I told him I won't work for free so why should she. And he said "I do things for free all the time because I want to do them," and I didn't say it then, but I wish I had, but if you like doing it, that's the incentive. It's a self-rewarding behaviour. Just like anything else a dog does, like chasing a squirrel or sniffing things or getting into the trash. Heeling instead of going off to sniff stuff or recalling off of something they want to chase is something you have to reinforce. You have to give them something better so they make the choice you want them to make. They won't make it just because they *respect* you. They won't willingly recall off of exciting prey out of RESPECT. You need to give them a tangible reward for that. You cannot possibly expect your dog to listen just because and then punish them for disobeying you.

Yeah, Sprocket bit my fingers a couple times. The one time pretty hard. But she was excited. She knows how to take gently and I reminded her and she tried very hard to be gentle most of the time. I wasn't going to stop rewarding her for checking in with me and recalling while we were off leash hiking in the woods. I want her to know that coming back to me is good and in the event of an emergency I would like her to not blow me off.

#barkin up some trees #personal #the way my friends train their dog is not the way I would ever train a dog #in fairness he isnt food or toy motivated #and i dont have issues with ecollars #but they dont actually reward him for anything really #praise but little to nothing else #like yeah of course he is gonna blow you off to jump in the lake #lake is more rewarding than recalling to you when you have nothing to offer him in return #the way they recall him is that he has to come to them and then give a hand boop #and if he doesn't make contact they keep asking him until he does it #and then no reward #other than praise #which he doesnt seem to really care that much about #idk it just doesnt feel right the way they train him and i dont take advice from them on training #they also basically never have him on a leash even tho it is required by law in town #after the hike we went to the lodge restaurant and luckily we had an extra lead in the truck #otherwise they hadnt even brought one along so they were gonna leave him in their car while we ate #idk like i love my friends and they are nice people but jesus christ

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tubbytarchia · 4 months

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Hiii!! I just wanted to first say I love your art and you have single handedly given me even more love for the rancher duo! If you could draw an overworked Jim or Tango whatever one fits better with your dynamics and the other trying to help in whatever way they can. No pressure cause to be honest I will be fine with and kind of rancher duo art work <3

Not quite what you asked but close enough...? !! Thank you so much kind anon, I'm so happy you like my ranchers!! (Jimmy is tired and got his sorry self butted. Then immediately goes snooork mimimimi when Tango tries to fix him up)

Not a compilation this time, hope that's fine! I'll probably do more requests individually rather than keep compiling similar ones if I can't do them all in a timely manner!

#rancher duo #team rancher #solidaritek #apparently thats also a rancher tag I have no clue !!#trafficshipping #trafficblr #tangotek #jimmy solidarity #Tango's not good at preening and he especially doesnt want to do anything that intimately intricate without Jimmy's constant guidance #but its okay he can give it a shot just this once even if Jimmy's passed the fuck out. He doesn't want Jimmy's wings to be uncomfy...#I couldnt come up with anything good exact to the prompt but again. Hope thats alright anon!!#tubby art

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agentwashingcat · 8 months

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The thing about Gale's hubris that gets me is that not all of it comes from wanting power for powers sake. I mean, yes, that's some of it of course, have you seen the wizards, they all suffer from delusions of grandeur in this game occasionally but like

Imagine you're Gale. You're in a relationship with the literal goddess of magic (who's also been teaching you magic since you were like 10 or something don't be weird it's totally fine) and you know. You know she's only interested because you're a wizard, and a damn powerful one at that. Wouldn't you also want to amass all the power you could, to keep your status?

And then when you run out of things to learn in Faerun well, there's always the magic of the gods. But they don't want you to learn that. Indeed, when you bring it up to Mystra, she just pats your head and tells you to be satisfied with what you have. Most mortals don't even get this much, why can't you be happy?

It's not like your time might be running short. It's not like there might be some new up and coming prodigy to catch Mystra's eye, and then where does that leave you? Alone with your broken heart and nothing to show for it.

So of course he's going to do what he can to maintain that status. Most people would. And hey, becoming a god would be a pretty cool side effect. It's not like it's that far outside the realm of possibility for mortals to ascend to godhood in Faerun. Even the current Mystra was once a mortal woman.

It just makes me feral that underneath the 5 layers of hubris is a core of insecurity that he's only wanted for what he can do and not who he is. But if he is only wanted for what he can do, he's gonna make sure he's damn fucking good at it.

#bg3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #gale makes me want to chew drywall #the insights you get from his romance make me even more feral lmao #boy doesn't do anything in half measures lol #he doesn't come off as insecure at all which is what always throws me but #there are moments in his romance where I'm like there it is bitch I see the vulnerability lmao

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ineed-to-sleep · 4 months

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So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again

#I actually finished a wip after abandoning it for so long alright iconic moment for me personally #this is them in the cab coming back from the warrens after getting their asses handed to them by all the szlachta #she handled herself a lil better but vincent is squishy and almost died like. 10 times #vtm #vtmb #the fledgling #brujah #oc.vince #oc.pepper #ship: viper #sleepyscribble #she looks a lil sad bc yk she nearly lost the dude and she starts realizing she liiikes hiiiiiim teehee #she legit doesn't know what she would do if she rlly lost him #but she doesn't think she's in love ofc ofc it's just that yk he's the only person she really feels like she can trust #and the only one she feels really good around and who she feels she could tell anything to #and tbh she hasn't felt this way with anyone else in a long long time even before she became undead and had to deal w the other kindred #but that's normal for a friendship yk this is just a really strong friendship why ruin it with romance right that's stupid #no she wasn't watching him take his shirt off with her eyes almost popping out of her skull the other day shhh that didn't happen #she doesn't even remember he has freckles on his back and a scar on his shoulder. the left one. she doesn't remember she wasn't even lookin #ANYWAY no lust no feelings she's fine don't worry abt it 👍🏻#viper art

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spielzeugkaiser · 10 months

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I love your art soooo much-it gives me life!! 🥰🥰🥰

I have a question about Milek and Jaskier! Milek says they fought before Jask went missing-what did they fight about? Did Milek say something he shouldn’t have? 👀😢 is there ANGST?

Also does Geralt know Mileks plush friend is called Roach? Because surely that’s a clue that Milek is his…(I love this universe so much)!!🥹❤️❤️❤️

[MASTERPOST] That was the last conversation they had before Milek stormed out - and when he came back, Jaskier was. gone. The thing is, Jaskier knows what Milek is interested in (and he is not even wrong about that, Milek has an interest in medicine, and helping people, and I think when they met he was Shanis biggest fan) and I think Jaskier is aware that some of the conflict does have its roots in Milek not wanting to leave him, even if they get really heated and ugly in their arguments. Milek shouldn't feel like he has to care for him, or have to protect him and at times I think Jaskier feels quite ashamed, which leads him to being way too unrelenting at times - especially if he thinks he's doing something to protect Milek.

#jaskier #the witcher #geraskier lovechild #artists on tumblr #omegaverse #I think if they argue Milek is saying stuff he shouldn't all the time #I think for Milek the part that makes him feel really bad is that he KNOWS that Jaskier would always choose having him again and again #because he KNOWS that he loves him more than anything else #but he still implied that he doesn't know - and he knows what he said was cruel #but he also !! is so angry #because Jaskier always treats him like he knows what's best for him and. let it be true - it still makes him FURIOUS #he isn't a little kid anymore #and he wants to HELP he loves his father and he knows that Jaskier gives and gives and gives especially when it comes to him #he doesn't need a fancy education in an academy where he'll be just the bastard kid again #he just needs a Pa who doesn't absolutely run himself to the ground #and I think he finally wants to meet Geralt too #also I'm trying to do a thing here which I think shows how secure their relationship truly is #because Geralt sees Milek as a quite sensible (if sometimes a bit hotheaded) young man - who is quite mature for his age #which he CAN be #but Geralt is also basically a stranger even if Milek knows he's his dad - and he tries to impress him naturally - ofc he wants to be liked #with Jaskier? who has his one true emotionally secure relationship with?#moody teenanger - but also allowing himself to be childish at times - crying shouting teasing - exploding sometimes #because he never ever had to question their relationship once #he can just let loose

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natelia-aldelliz · 1 year

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Soap & Gaz : =(

Ghost : What's going on with you two?

Gaz : Old people flirting =( it's like my divorced dad flirting with his new girlfriend in front of me all over again

Ghost : What happened?

Gaz : Well he and my mom got a divorce, which was for the best honestly, and then he got himself a girlfriend that was closer in age to me than him and -

Ghost : I don't give a shit about your parents Garrick, what happened right now.

Gaz : Oh =(

Soap : Nikolai was teaching us insults in russian, and Price told him he had a dirty mouth and Nik just smiled at him, y'know, like a smirk, and Price smiled back, ewwww

Ghost : Wait, you think Price flirting with his... friend is gross because they're old? You do know I'm not that much younger than Price, right?

Soap : Yeah, but you're not flirting with anyone, so it's okay =)

Ghost :

Gaz :

Soap : =) ?

Gaz : I can't believe you just said that. With your full chest too...

#cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #captain john price #i just found out that price's name is jonathan?? i thought it was a joke not canon lmao #cod nikolai #ghostsoap #soapghost #does pricexnikolai have a name?#based on a thirty seconds search through tumblr it appears to be nikprice #and i was so happy that for once i shipped a main ship and not a rare ship lmao rip me #the dilfs got me #anyway i was realising that price is also fucking massive like next to ghost it doesn't show or even gaz who's pretty tall as well #but next to other people wow he's tall #soap isn't as tall but what he doesn't have in height he has in shoulders so it's not that obvious that he's smol #anyway #soap instantly notices people flirting with other people like he'd met ale and rudy for five minutes and already knew #that doesn't apply to himself tho because he doesn't think anyone could love him and thinks they just want sex #and he ignores it coming from ghost because he couldn't deal with just sex from him so he'd rather not see anything at all =)#and gaz is tired of him and ghost thinks soap knows and is rejecting him and gaz is tired of him too #and now he's also tired of price because how dare he flirt in front of his salad like that

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antianakin · 6 months

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I'd love more exploration of Rex perhaps feeling like he got kind-of the short end of the stick in terms of Jedi. He LIKES Ahsoka, for sure, she's got a spirit he admires and she's tenacious and it's hard not to care for her. And Anakin is, well, powerful for sure and friendly enough, so for a while Rex thinks he came out pretty well with his Jedi.

But then he starts meeting other Jedi or working alongside other Jedi and he realizes how much more competent other Jedi often are, especially the more experienced ones. And while Anakin is friendly enough, he's seen a lot of the other clones have MUCH closer relationships to their Jedi and certainly none of THEM ask their captains or commanders to lie to superior officers about secret relationships or unsanctioned missions. He's a little surprised once when he notices pretty much every other Jedi remembers that the clones can't always keep up with the Jedi and will unhesitatingly adjust their battle strategy to accommodate it. He sees the way other young Padawans are being taught to do something similar, to really consider the lives of the clones when they're in battle as the higher priority rather than the success of the mission.

And Rex starts wondering what his life might be like if he had ended up with a different Jedi. He loves his men, he's proud of the work they do most of the time, and he doesn't DISLIKE the Jedi he ended up with, but sometimes he's kind-of jealous of some of his brothers and wishes he'd gotten their Jedi instead.

#star wars #captain rex #anti anakin #anti anakin skywalker #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical #and then he meets kanan and ezra in rebels and realizes he finally got exactly what he always had secretly wished for #he's got a real jedi now #he's got one of the GOOD jedi now #as much as kanan doesn't really trust rex yet he still came back to save the clones from the empire #and that one moment tells rex more than anything else kanan says or does #anakin never would've done that #he never would've come back to save someone he didn't trust and didn't like #not without an ulterior motive anyway #anakin would've considered their deaths an unfortunate tragedy probably #but that it was more important to get his own people to safety #kanan chose to turn around and put his life on the line instead #and so teaches his padawan to do the same #because all life is precious. even if you don't understand it or don't like it. ESPECIALLY if you don't understand it or like it.#so rex chooses to follow kanan #because he didn't get to choose his jedi before this #he wouldn't have chosen anakin if he'd HAD a choice probably #but he gets to choose now #and he didn't WANT to be a soldier again #but kanan came in and inspired him and reminded him of that long ago wish he once had to follow a jedi he truly respected #and so he chooses kanan now the way he never chose anakin

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hailsatanacab · 1 year

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"give me a fandom and a prompt and i'll give you at least five sentences"

Ok then.

Jazz, Danny and Bruce are in the same age range, and Bruce has been harboring a massive crush on 7'foot tall Jazz since just after he began his training journey.

His kids know about and are mercyless. Danny thinks he's a bit of a fruit loop and 100% knows Bruce has a crush on his sister.

Into the future his coworkers find out that batman has been quietly pining after the Ghost Kings sister for years.

Chaos.

love that this reads as a challenge. Ok then. Write it. i will, let's goooo!

(sorry i kinda took it so that Jazz, Danny, and Bruce were all old friends but in that horrible adult way where you can only hang out with each other once in a blue moon when your work schedules miraculously align)

——

"Respectfully, Batman, you can take your "it's not necessary" and you can shove it up your arse. There's a demon the size of a skyscraper heading towards Metropolis and we need reinforcements."

"Superman can—"

"Superman can't. You do remember the part of the report I made telling you this, right? Or did your stubborn little bat brain just shut down when I mentioned magic?"

"Actually," Nightwing interrupts from the side, a shit-eating grin on his face, "I think his brain shut down when you mentioned the Ghost King."

"Nightwing." Batman growls in warning, his jaw clenching so hard Constantine can swear he hears the bones creaking.

Nightwing just snickers, and turns away to press a finger to his ear, no doubt letting the rest of the bat brood in on what's happening here... Whatever that is. All Constantine knows is that Batman is standing between him and fixing this mess for no God-forsaken reason.

Luckily, some of the more reasonable members of the League step in to try and talk some sense into Batman. It gives him some time to calm down.

"Batman. We need him. I know you dislike working with unknowns, but he's our best shot."

It actually looks like Wonder Woman might be getting through to him, Batman even opens his mouth to actually explain some things—a huge step forward for this incredibly emotionally constipated man.

Instead, Nightwing snorts and beats him to it. "Unknowns? More like—"

"Nightwing, please."

"Oh, for Pete's sake, get your head out of your arse and let me do this. The Ghost King is our only hope. I'm summoning him, no matter what you say."

For a long second, Constantine thinks that he'll refuse and he might have to resort to more violent methods of persuasion—which, honestly, Constantine has fantasised about many times during the more boring JL meetings—but eventually, Batman relents and steps out of the way.

"Fine. Nightwing, go check in with Red Robin."

Nightwing has the kind of devious smile that makes John glad he doesn't have kids.

"Oh, don't worry about it, B. Red Robin's coming here. So's Red Hood, I don't need to go anywhere."

"Nightwing—"

"Sh, it's starting." So saying, Nightwing then very obviously ignores Batman's protests with a poker face that even Constantine envies. What he wouldn't give to be able to shut the bat out like that.

The summoning goes quickly, thankfully. The lights flicker, the temperature drops, and the chalk circle erupts in green flames. Standard summoning practices, sure. Even the impromptu appearance of Red Hood and Red Robin—"Did we miss him?", "No, not yet! I got 2:37, what about you guys?"—doesn't throw him off.

It does pique his interest, though. Just what the hell is going on with them? Constantine's weighing up the pros and cons of asking them once all of this is over when the ground splits open and the clawed hand of the Ghost King begins to pull himself out of the ground.

John's a seasoned summoner. It's practically his job, he's done it countless times.

The icey fear that grips his heart, that freezes his breath in his chest, is new.

Pure, unadulterated power floods the area and he feels small, so, so small, like a child playing with things he doesn't understand. When he finally tears his eyes away from the portal, he catches a glimpse of the other magic users in the room, the same horror he feels clear in their faces. Even Captain Marvel stares slackjawed.

The pressure rises, death magic screaming in his ears, almost forcing him to his knees, and suddenly he's not so sure this is a good idea.

Too late to back out now, though.

Sickly green light pours from the crack in the ground, growing brighter and brighter as the giant figure rises, until Constantine has to close his eyes and look away. The last thing he sees are eyes, teeth, horns, a crown so bright that it burns an afterimage into his retinas.

When the light dies down and he opens his eyes again, a humanoid man floats in the centre of the circle. The ground is whole, nothing is burning, the man doesn't even have a crown. Instead, other than the wispy white hair, slightly green skin, and the—you know—floating, the Ghost King appears pretty normal. Huh.

Constantine blinks, rubbing his bleary eyes, and checks around to make sure everyone's okay. Most of the League are doing the same as him, taking fortifying breaths and trying to appear as if they've not just been completely blinded.

Most of them, that is, aside from the Gotham vigilantes.

Batman himself stands upright, arms crossed, looking completely unbothered by the whole thing and John's got to admit, he wishes he could do that, too. That was... a hell of a show.

The others, however, are waving frantically with huge smiles on their faces.

What?

There's a brief, taut silence, as everyone else tries to catch their breath.

As much as he would rather take a bit of a breather, John should probably start making introductions. Unfortunately, he only gets as far as opening his mouth before the Ghost King beats him to it.

"Oh, Ancients, hey guys! It's been forever, how are you? Look at you all, so grown up, wow—Nightwing, buddy, do a flip!"

It doesn't take much to get Nightwing going, and he certainly doesn't leave it at one flip. The whole of the Justice League and Justice League Dark watch with open mouths as Nightwing performs for the Ghost King.

What, and John can't stress this enough, the fuck?

As soon as Nightwing rights himself, Red Hood swats him across the back of the head and calls him a show off.

The Ghost King just laughs as he claps. "There's my little monkey, look at you go! And I'm loving that leather jacket, Hood, is that new? Looks good on you, really your colour. Brings out the red in your helmet."

"Thanks, Uncle D. At least someone around here appreciates fashion."

"Are you kidding me, you know I breathe fashion, need I remind—"

"Need I remind you of the Discowing incident?"

"That was era-appropriate and you know it! Uncle D, tell him it was era-appropriate!"

"It was era-appropriate, but so are crocs and it doesn't make them fashionable." The Ghost King—and holy shit, is this actually the Ghost King? Or did Constantine just accidentally summon a deceased family member, what the fuck is happening here?—turns to look at Red Robin with a smile, resolutely ignorning the argument he created. "How you doing, Double R? You get that tablet Tucker made for you?"

"Yes, thank you! It's so cool, how did he—"

"How's Tucker doing?" Batman interrupts, his hands now hidden underneath his cape.

As soon as the question leaves his lips, everyone groans. Red Robin makes a show of lifting up his wrist and staring at it intently.

"Incredible," Red Hood mutters with a shake of his head.

Even the Ghost King seems put out, rolling his eyes and answering in a flat tone as if he knows Batman isn't interested in what he has to say.

Not for the first time, Constantine feels like he's missing something.

"Tucker's doing very well, thank you for asking."

What follows is the most awkward silence Constantine has ever had the pleasure to be a part of.

All three of the Gotham vigilantes, including the Ghost King, are staring at Batman, waiting for something. Batman's cloak shifts as if he's moving his hands, fidgeting. If Constantine didn't know any better, he'd say he was nervous.

"Good. That's good, I'm glad to hear it."

Instead of saying anything else, the Ghost King just raises his eyebrows and continues to stare at Batman. Has he offended him in some way? Are they all going to die because of this?

After what seems like an agonising few minutes but could only really be a few seconds, Batman's shoulders dip and he takes a breath. "And Jazz?"

They all erupt into shouts, the Ghost King being the loudest. The only thing John can make out is when the Ghost King throws his hand in the air to point at Red Robin with a shout of "Time!"

"1:30.91, we got 1:30.91 on the clock, who's closest?"

"Did you even try to hold it in at all, old man? I'm so disappointed in you. People think you're cool. People think you're suave, I don't understand how they could be so wrong."

"Thank you for that, Hood."

"No, thank you, I won. Again. Because you're so predictable. Actually, I had one minute seventeen, so you held out longer than I thought you would."

Batman pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs loudly.

Constantine feels like doing the same thing.

Whatever. He's going to have to interrupt... whatever this is. There's still a rampaging demon heading their way that they've got to bargain for. He can untangle Batman's personal connection to the Ghost King later. Or he could leave it alone and forget everything about it.

Yeah, he'll do that one.

But before he can actually open his mouth to say anything, the Ghost King, again, beats him to it.

"So, B-Man, did you summon me here for a particular reason, or was it really just so you could ask about Jazz?"

There's a beat of silence before Batman mutters, "I asked about Tucker, too. We've not seen each other in so long, it's only polite."

"And I'm sure you meant it, you're the paragon of manners." The Ghost King nods slow and wide-eyed as if he doesn't believe him at all.

At this point, even Constantine doesn't believe him.

"It has been forever, though." The Ghost King muses, bringing his hand to his chin and folding his legs underneath him. "We should all get together sometime! If you get Alfie to make some of his cookies again, I'll get Clockwork to lend us a pocket dimension where we can spend as much time as we want, deal?"

"It's a deal."

No hesitation at all, incredible.

Hold on. Wait. John has to fight the urge to pinch himself, because this has to be a dream, right? Is Batman actually smiling? He didn't even know he could do that.

An itch niggles at the back of John's mind. He's starting to get an inkling of what's going on here and it's... weird, to say the least.

"Oooh," Nightwing singsongs, like a child in a playground tickled by the very idea of romance.

But then, who's he to judge? John's no stranger to strange bedfellows, that's for sure. Whoever this Jazz is, she must be something incredible—she'd have to be, if Batman can't even go two minutes without asking about her.

"Batman and Jasmine sitting in a tree," Nightwing continues, with both Red Hood and Red Robin joining in for the rest. "K—I—S—S—I—"

"Stop," Batman growls, completely drowned out by the Ghost King's laughter, but...

But.

It all suddenly clicks for John.

The Ghost King Phantom.

Her Royal Highness, Princess Jasmine Phantom.

Jazz.

"Holy shit, mate," John breathes, unable to stop himself as everyone looks his way. "You have the hots for the Princess of the Infinite Realms?"

The Justice League meeting room has never descended into chaos quicker.

#dpxdc #danny phantom crossover #danny phantom x batman #hoooolllyyy mackeral #it was hubris thinking i could keep anything to five sentences really wasn't it?#fucking played myself with that didn't i???#anyway here's even more words on this i hope you enjoy!!#some things that didn't make it in:#duke doesn't come to see danny because he's too bright when he's in his ghost form and it gives him a migraine - he still plays the game #though and is second closest!#damian is there he's just biding his time. it's become a tradition for damian to try and stab danny whenever he turns up #he hasn't managed it yet but danny keeps encouraging him to try again! you'll get me next time champ!#it infuriates damian to no end - no he's not doing it because he's having fun he legitimately wants to kill him shut up!#danny loves cass so much and when they do all get together they always sit together - it often ends up with cass curling up around danny #ellie turns up every now and then! she's like an honourary wayne at this point #she's always down for any pranks and shenanigans #thank you for the prompt!! it was very fun. as you can see i got rather carried away haha #thank you i hope you enjoyed it!!!#my writing #cab writes

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