#even Batman

[redsray]

I love the idea of the Wayne kids dropping extremely vague and disturbing comments during galas. Especially when in uncomfortable situations or if they're just bored. They pull out things from their nightlife too. Other times they just make shit up.

Socialite: Oh, dear, your cheeks look so sullen! Who sucked the life out of you?

Tim, dead serious: An old man with a goatee.

Socialite: Uh... what?

Dick: Once I broke my knee so badly that I swear I could see part of the bone sticking out.

Socialite: Good lord. How on earth did that happen?

Dick: Just clumsy gymnast things ^^

Socialite: The white streak is certainly a bold fashion choice.

Jason: I saw someone get decapitated once, so I could be doing worse in terms of what's on my head, yknow? At least I have one.

Socialite: What's your favourite colour, sweetie?

Damian: Red.

Socialite: Oh that's lovely!

Damian: Like the blood of my enemies.

Socialite: Oh.

Socialite: You must be new to these kind of events.

Duke: Uh, yeah, they're kind of scary. But I've had worse.

Socialite: Worse.

Duke: Well I've been left on top of a skyscraper before with no way down just to 'get over my fear of heights' so, yes.

Socialite: You don't talk very loud, do you? I can barely hear you.

Cass, with a straight face: If I spoke any louder every glass in the room would shatter.

Tim, behind her: I can vouch.

#batfam #batman #cassandra cain #damian wayne #dc comics #dick grayson #duke thomas #jason todd #tim drake #they make bets on who can freak out the most stuck up socialites #its a very fun game for them #bruce just lets it happen #he secretly finds it funny #sometimes even plays along #socialite: so how did you end up with so many kids? #bruce: they were brought to me by an alien

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Bruce gets accosted by reporters and one of them asks "Is it true that you're in competition with Superman to win Batman's affections?" and he is so taken aback bc what the fuck are they even talking about? There are a million questions going through his head such as, since when was superman into batman? since when was this public knowledge? wtf did bruce say to imply that he was into batman as well? And he doesn't have an answer to any of these questions so he just smiles and says, "No, I'm not. The word competition implies that Superman has a chance, which he does not."

why did he say that? Bruce doesn't know, it just felt like that's how Bruce Wayne would've responded bc what's more Brucie than fighting with Superman for Batman's heart? anyway, upon reflection, this was maybe not the best response in terms of long term consequences, but he's committed to the bit now.

a week after all this goes down, news reporter Clark Kent is caught saying that Batman deserves better than Bruce Wayne, so is a third suitor putting his hat in the ring to win over batman?

#superman was already iffy on bruce wayne #now he has a true hatred for the man for #1) declaring his intentions toward someone he has feelings for #2) not only implying that he is better boyfriend material than /Superman/ #but that he’s so much better that superman isn’t even competition #/bruce wayne/ #notable playboy and idiot #a better choice as a boyfriend #the absolute arrogance #batman #bruce wayne #superman #clark kent #superbat #dc #dc comics #mine

[audhd-nightwing]

dick grayson (5’10” with the body of a gymnast): this is my baby brother!

jason todd (6’3” brick wall of muscle): …hi

***

cass wayne (5’5” with the body of a dancer): little brother!

jason (almost a whole foot taller than her): hiya cass

#proud member of the ‘cass is older than jason’ community #let dick and cass bond over being the eldest siblings #jason is their little baby brother okay #even if cass is only a few months older than him #dc comics #batsiblings #dick grayson #cassandra wayne #jason todd #cassandra cain #cass wayne #the batfamily #batfamily #batkids #dc #dcu #batman #batman comics

[violent138]

Duke: "Bad news guys, he managed to give me the slip."

Tim: "How? Okay, who's got eyes on him?"

Damian: "He's just... gone."

Tim: "Hood?"

Jason, eating takeout: "Stop hacking my comms for this, I'm not even there!" *leaves the channel*

Steph: "Negative from me, I've been tailing some whole other guy."

Tim: "Nightwing?"

Dick, in a whole other city, on the computer, barely listening: "I already told Alfred I left the keys in the--"

Tim: "Thanks anyways. Orphan?"

Cass:

Tim: "Well shit. Everyone, we need to find him now."

Kate, spotting Bruce holding someone's black-haired baby at the Gala and immediately taking the baby from him: "No."

Kate, pressing a hand to her earpiece: "I got him just in time. Don't give me those puppy dog eyes Bruce, you can't even keep all your kids' names straight anymore."

Tim: "Phew, crisis averted everyone, good work. But remain vigilant."

Jason: "Tim, I swear to God--"

#batfamily #I don't even know if this makes sense lol #another obligatory “they're all at a gala thing” #Okay roll call let's go: #Duke thomas #dc signal #kate kane #batwoman #tim drake #red robin #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #damian wayne #robin #stephanie brown #spoiler #cassandra cain #orphan #black bat #take your pick #bruce wayne #batman #dc comics #batfam #textpost #shitpost #batposting

[frownyalfred]

“people in the JL hate Batman because he’s so strict” nah. people in the JL hate Batman because all of their sidekicks wanna hang out and train with the batfamily and come home asking questions like “so when are you going to get a plane?” and “why don’t you know how to do [complex judo move]?”

#they’re the cool popular kid table of the JL #but they’re also so weird #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #justice league #jl #batman is sidekick bait #even if it’s not his robins

[ikiprian]

Mr. Fenton is a competent teacher. Almost too competent.

If Mr. Daniel Fenton had any more than a BS (with a minor in education), Tim would’ve flagged his profile as a potential Rogue. That’s the way of most charismatic academics, at least in Gotham. (Got a PhD? Instant watchlist.) Instead, he’s Gotham Academy’s newest celebrity, as a young, passionate, out-of-towner substitute while the chemistry teacher’s on maternity leave.

Tim gets the hype. Fenton seems to genuinely love teaching, and is invested in the welfare of the student body. He hands out bananas during exam week, hosts a “study habits seminar” each month to coach effective learning strategies, and the third time Tim falls asleep in his class, he even pulls Tim aside to ask if he’s doing okay. With all the late work he accepts and the protein bars he sneaks Tim, he’s every teen vigilante’s dream teacher. He could’ve been Tim’s favorite.

In fact, Mr. Fenton was Tim’s favorite. Up until Tim walks into Mr. Fenton’s chemistry classroom for a forgotten textbook, an hour after the final bell.

On the board where tallied scores for today’s review game had been kept, “THE CHEMISTRY BEHIND DR. CRANE’S FEAR GAS: ANXIOGENICS, NERI’S, & YOU,” is now scrawled. A detailed diagram of the human endocrine system projects in front of a small crowd of adoring and attentive students.

Fenton is wrist-deep in the skull cavity of an anatomical model. A short tug, and out pops the brain.

It’s plastic. It’s fake.

Tim identifies the nearest emergency exit.

Fenton turns to the door, and in the dark classroom with the projector illuminating half his face, his eyes almost seem to flash red. “What’s up, Tim?” he asks. His friendly grin is too big for his face. “I didn’t know you wanted to join the Just Science League!”

[OR: Danny’s a science teacher at Tim’s school. Gotham’s a pretty wild place, even for someone who grew up a superhero in a ghost-infested town, so he takes it upon himself to start a club teaching kids how to manage themselves in the event of a crisis. These Gothamites are pretty hardy, but a little extra training never hurt anybody! And he suspects one of his students might be a teen vigilante, like he’d been, back in the day. As a senior super, it's Danny’s duty look out for him! Surely, this is the subtlest and most appropriate way to give the kid pointers.]

[Tim immediately assumes supervillain.]

#Danny can’t help being creepy it’s just the way he’s built!! #I like to think Lancer did these things for Danny when he was in HS #and now Danny's emulating Lancer :) #Passing it on! #Tim is paranoid but also like he is SO CLOSE to graduating so like. Does he even want to report this shit to Batman. What if the next chem #teacher's a jerk and Tim fails the class and he never gets his stupid diploma. Bruce already is insisting he finish out HS and maybe get #an ABA before he's allowed back into the company #and Jesus Christ does Tim hate school. He'll worry about Mr. Fenton's burgeoning army of Science Honor Society Rogues on his own time #dcxdp #dpxdc #prompt #tim drake #danny fenton #in case I write more of this let’s tag it uhhhhh #misunderstood mentor au #kipwrite

[nyerusnova]

yeah... things are pretty yikes right now in the current batfam storyline,

but at least Tim is rocking those thigh-high boots and I just wanted to appreciate that for a sec

#tim drake #batman spoilers #batman 138 #comics #they look so good on him ok #thigh high socks/leggings/boots/etc are just MWAH *chefs kiss* #in fact i fully support making the boots reach up even a bit higher mister jiménez pls #edited out dialogue to avoid spoilers but also because... lol #dcu #bc this kinda popped off i want to mention. i actually am quite liking gotham war so far. #gonna let zdarsky cook with this!!!

[bodyfrmabalcony]

jason's autopsy scars cause some confusion at the red hood annual pool party

#jason todd #red hood #batman #dc fanart #batman fanart #goon (trans): i was cool w double incision for me but i dont even know the NAME of that surgery..... #goon (trans) when he finds out red hood was robin: whoa thats so cool that batman was so supportive of your transition so young #jason: ????? #art tag

[oncillabrigade]

Finally read Robins!

I have a lot of thoughts, but I just want to say this panel is the funniest thing I've ever seen:

#addressing Bruce as Batman is such a tell too #hilarious and fucked up #tim drake #bruce wayne #batfam #i continue to maintain that tim being a champion liar while looking like that has given him such an unfair advantage in life #no one suspects this awkward twink with survival skill-level excellence in lying to parental figures is lying to them #not even bruce #my dude this is why you are no longer the world's greatest detective #anyway #I fuckin' love tim drake #robin #robins (2022)

[redsray]

Batfam AU where Jason never dies, so Tim doesn't join the family the standard way. Instead, he continues pouring most of his time and energy into his photography, eventually becoming known as a popular photographer for events and all that. So now, picture this: Tim gets hired to be a photographer for a Wayne gala. Obviously, he's ecstatic, because he can take pictures of Batman, Robin and Nightwing and be in their presence for a whole night. Since Tim is so naturally talented in stealth and taking pictures unnoticed, the second one of the fam realises this they're like: this kid is good. Tim manages to go unnoticed by all 3 of them (all bat-trained, one literally batman) multiple times during the night, and even when he is noticed, he disappears before they can manage to get a good look at him; to the sheer amazement of Dick and Jason.

Jason, (very discreetly putting snacks in his suit pocket): i know you're under the table, kid.

Tim: don't mind me, Mr. Todd-Wayne, sir, just taking a few pictures

Jason: right... Jason's fine, and what pictures were you taking from under the table?!

Tim, showing him perfectly good shots of him: these.

Jason: how did you get that. it looks like you took it from the rafters

Tim, nodding: I did.

Jason, glancing at the ceiling: ...what?

Tim, gone:

Jason: no fucking way.

Dick, hearing a very, very faint camera shutter from behind him:

Dick, turning around and finding no one there: what the actual...

Dick, getting the feeling of being watched and whirling around to find Tim staring at him from across the room: ... huh.

Jason, pulling Dick aside: you see that kid too, right?!

Dick, nodding: the camera kid, yeah?

Jason: who is that.

Dick: he's one of the hired photographers, apparently. one of the best in his field, despite his age.

Jason: he's good. like, really good. snuck up on me 4 times already, the little bastard.

Dick: you too? i swear he's constantly watching. it's creepy how well he can sneak past both of us.

Jason:

Dick:

Jason: you don't think...

Dick: no. B would've told us.

Jason:

Dick:

Dick: did he get another kid and not tell us somehow

Bruce: what do you mean another kid?

Jason: you heard us. did you adopt another kid and not tell us?!

Bruce: no?? how would I even?? ... what's this about?

Dick: one of the photographers has managed to sneak up on both me and Jay multiple times already

Bruce: what.

Jason: he also can't be more than like. 15 or 16. so forgive us for assuming you took another one in.

Bruce: do you know his name?

Dick:

Jason:

Bruce: really?

Dick: in our defence, he's very hard to catch. i wouldn't be surprised if he's snuck up on you, too.

[camera shutter noise]

All of them, whipping their heads toward the sound only to find nothing but air:

Tim, smiling from the other side of the room:

Jason: do you see what we mean?!

Cue an entire night of shenanigans where it's just Dick, Jason and Bruce trying to catch Tim and learn about him. Upon finding out who he is and where he lives, Dick immediately asks to keep him as an honorary member of the family. Jason is hesitant at first but at some point Tim calls Bruce Batman instead of Mr. Wayne on accident and Jason laughs so hard he's basically won over. Bruce can do nothing but watch as Tim proceeds to come over almost every night for sleepovers and is coddled by both of his sons. And he can't deny, the kid's investigation and stealth skills are top tier. By the time Dick and Jason both start referring to Tim as 'their younger brother' Bruce has just accepted his fate.

#batfam #batman #dc comics #tim drake #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #batfam au #dick: look he's even got the dark hair and blue eyes #jason: he fits the pattern. you gotta #dick to tim: you are ours now #tim who just wanted to spend time with his heroes: oh #they declare him as theirs so he is theirs #bruce does not get a choice #he is THEIR little stalker #when jason finds out that tim follows them as vigilantes too he falls over laughing #dick wiping a tear away: he's perfect

[soupinaboot]

In my opinion, Bruce should be above average height or at least average. But since he surrounds himself with demi-gods, aliens, meta humans, etc, he's just dwarfed next to them. Like maybe about 6'1 or 6'2, but that's NOTHING compared to Diana '7'3 feet tall' Prince. Or Clark '6'9' Kent.

All the tabloids claim he has to be at least 5 feet tall because the only photos they can get of him are when he's next to his giant ass friends.

It is also my personal headcannon that all the robins stay shorter than him, except Jason, who should be at least 4 inches taller.

#diana might even need to be taller #bruce wayne #batman #diana prince #wonder woman #clark kent #superman #robin #jason todd #red hood #dc #wonderbat #superbat #dc comics #dc characters #and his bat boots add like an inch or so #short king #to be clear im talking about BATMAN #BATMAN LOOKS SHORT NOT BRUCE!!! #plus the boots add an inch or so!!!!! #i also said ABOVE average height!! #thank you that is all i love hearing your opinions #😊 #i edited this #to make it make more sense

[kittykatninja321]

I am not terribly familiar with the JLI characters but this fucking killed me

#Batman #Bruce Wayne #jli #Dc #I’m pretty sure Batman’s unusual violence in that era did end up on the evening news so

[bastardlybonkers]

so this is what it feels like

#batman #batfamily #nightwing #dick grayson #robin #damian wayne #tfw youve been raised with little to no affection your entire life and you finally start to receive it regularly #but it takes a while until the feeling is reciprocated #and even longer to recognize that its happened

[duckytree]

big brother part 7

#you know this is an au because the dick in my main series never calls bruce dad lol #but yeah jason’s bio dad was a dick #wait #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #batman #comic #fanart #art #big brother series #duckytree #idk who needs to hear this but don’t actually beat up children #dick isn’t scolding jason cause honestly he’s even more messed up #note: don’t use the g word unless u have ties to it

[frownyalfred]

the best part about comics and fics where the batkids have to fight a mind controlled Bruce is the inevitable "oh shit" moment when they realize that every single spar with Bruce over the years -- even the ones where they were sparring at full force -- was against a Bruce who still held himself back in some way. because those are his kids.

a Bruce who doesn't care about them is terrifying.

#thoughts #remember that scene where he fights nightwing and breaks his arm and doesn't even blink #and dick is screaming #and trying to fight him and losing #just.....oy #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily

[qweenofurheart]

ahh while working on the tim & damian comic i started missing the other two bros so here u go

#u don’t understand i am such a nightwing fan 🧍🏻‍♂️🧍🏻‍♂️🙁 #but tim is more relatable so i draw him more #ignore the goofy coloring 💀 #also yes jason is taller even though dick is 7 years older #my art #batfam #batfamily #batman #batman comics #batfam fanart #batfamily fanart #art #dc #dc fanart #dc comics #jason todd fanart #jason todd #red hood #red hood fanart #dick grayson #dick grayson fanart #nightwing fanart #nightwing