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landwriter · 1 year

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1589 got me feeling&rambling and I'm so sorry beforehand that I can't keep it short and simple, as would probably befit the thing. Feel free to ignore if not interesting to you, still you are the one that comes to mind when thinking about Hob being morally grey.

That scene is always so painful to watch, mostly because Hob is behaving like such a sorry fool. He has really decked himself out to impress his stranger and misses the mark so dramatically.

(Whereas Dream seemingly has not held back either - I mean it's easily his hottest look, you can't tell me he didn't mean to make a lasting impression. So much disappointment on both sides.)

Cringe Hob as part of the dark Hob spectrum, his self-importance/selfishness showing - of course it's not pure fun to watch, but I'm always so fascinated by that flicker of pain (foreshadowing shame) that comes right to the surface in all his put on show, just before he orders the lamb. The contrast makes for a very intense moment, imo. And I am wondering, has he really left all of this behind by 1889? Or is he simply more smooth by that time (that's what I'm getting from the show) ? In fanfics his flaws are mostly depicted as minor or serving a good end in modern times, he is always such a goodie by then (and I love him, of course). But can we imagine just a trace of more questionable/offputting Hob in the mix (if only on impulse) - to be clear, I have no idea how that would work. Or should we just be grateful that that lies behind him (it certainly makes for a much more likeable character and a nicer love story)?

(me force feeding myself more of the horrible stuff I just wanted to avoid looking at)

It's a beautiful contrast: opulence and insecurity. Success and asking still for validation. I have Thoughts on each meeting (please send me asks about them) - ostensibly the very first fannish thing I did for this show, and also in my adult life, was rewatch the meetings and pause constantly and take - oh holy Christ over 4,000 words of notes.

I propose Hob is not acting like a sorry fool. Sure, some bits are clearly played for comedy. Hob is selfish, self-important, and given to hedonism. He is concerned primarily with his own comfort and the personal pleasures of life. But I blame 1589 pretty solidly on Dream. In 1489, after being asked what his experience is like, he answers Dream with an inarticulate statement spoken by a true person who just Digs The Experience of Experiencing: it's 'fucking brilliant' and 'all changing'. Dream asks how, Hob literally looks around the room like a student who forgot an essay was due, and names chimneys and playing cards. Handkerchiefs. Simple things - still sensual things - but simple ones. Certainly no sociopolitical discourse here. What will you people think of next, says Dream, deeply sarcastic and visibly disinterested. And Dream also asks him: but what is Hob doing with his time? This, too, he is under-prepared to answer. Soldiering, banditry, bit of printing press work. Hardly enough to impress this supernatural lord, and Hob can tell.

When he is granted, explicitly, another 100 years by Dream, it is not only a relief, but I think a part of Hob squares its jaw in that moment and says: I'll show him - I'll show him what I can do in a century, I'll earn his pleased regard. Not necessarily because he's even, you know, madly in love at this point, but because he's in it for the living, does not intrinsically have great ambitions, but does have someone who has a) seemingly granted him this greatest gift and b) is unimpressed with what he's doing with it. And he's lost everyone he knew. Dream is now his oldest acquaintance, and wouldn't it be nice if he liked Hob?

He knows only the language of what impresses other men, and this is what he achieves. But to Dream, both Hob's socially-valued successes and his deeply personal ones are terrifically uninteresting. They are not New Dreams To Spur The Minds Of Men. There is no new story in a man seeking fortune and having a wife and a child he loves. He is ancient as the first dreaming thing, and he is Bored. He is, in fact, soured on this meeting from the outset, when he says "Hello, Hob," which on my watch struck me, apparently, as extremely bizarre and of having a real air of Hob being In Trouble. (The only other times Dream says his name are at the first, looming and omniscient, and in 1789, - 'I suggest you find yourself a different line of business, Robert Gadling'. He does not say it at their modern meeting.)

I mean - how would you impress someone? Someone who was interested in your deeds? Putting on a nice little dinner and catching them up on your life, talking about your family, seems a decent enough shout. It's not like you can ask him about his life, he won't offer information when asked and only sometimes will correct you if you venture your own guesses. (see also: 1889 foreshadowing) Hob is feeling proud and triumphant, feeling like he's come far. He is obviously a bit obnoxious about it, but I do think Dream shows off his flaws far more in 1589 than Hob does.

Hob's greatest sin, here, is trying to be liked. His greatest regret is almost certainly not the spread he put on, but the moment he was really, truly, earnest - not underscored even by a subsequent joke - the moment he declaims that this is what he had imagined Heaven to be like (safe enough to walk the streets; good food; good wine) - Life is so rich, he says - and Dream looks away to listen to Will Shaxberd, and we watch real time as Hob's expression collapses. He had leaned forward nearly out of his chair in enthusiasm, and now he shrinks back, reminded again of the dangers of earnestness: being alone in it. Being ignored. Better to make a joke of things, which is why he tells so many around Dream, especially after being more open - it's clearly a matter of habit. (It is also, incidentally, absolutely unappealing to Dream, who really and truly looks at him for the first time in 1689, when he is stripped of the social niceties of men and reigns nothing in.) He eats. He frets. He has had another century, and he has failed to impress the stranger.

The worst moment, I think, is that Dream does not renew their compact. He does not ask Hob if he still wishes to live, and Hob does not get the opportunity to say "Oh, yes." He was given this gift for one reason: the stranger was curious about his experiences. Does the stranger seem still curious about him now? I wonder, honestly, if Hob thought he would see another meeting.

Has he really left that all behind by 1889? No - you hear it in his own words, 'People are almost always better than you think they are.' - the earnesty, and then the joke - 'Not me, though, still the same as ever.' Except it's not really a joke, is it? Hob is saying to Dream, I know you don't think much of me, well, I don't pretend to think much of myself. He still wants Dream's validation, of course, he's just trying to earn it differently. (It goes poorly.) He's smoother, but also more frustrated, more fed up, more hungry for knowledge of his stranger; and I think that's such an interesting point in time for him. I think he leaves little behind, and what he does leave behind, he dreams of. He's changed so much and so little, and I think you could really go in whatever direction you want depicting that and be convincing.

I can't speak to the fanon on Hob's flaws because I don't read nearly as much as I wish I could. While I don't personally think 1589 Hob was actually that questionable or offputting - at least no more than most people would be in that situation - I would love to see a modern fic where has the same flaws he's always had, where they come up maybe different than they would have several centuries ago, but they absolutely exist, it does have plot consequences. Bonus points if he is not being offputting for the purposes of rescuing Dream from the fishbowl - if his flaws exist independent of his relationship with Dream altogether. Bonus bonus points if Hob is the one whose character development needs to be developed and Dream is in a better place than he is. If anyone has fic recs feel free to drop them in the comments!

P.S. 1589 Dream, wow, yes, for sure. 10/10 would babble and get walked out on

#the sandman #dreamling #century meetings #meta #dream of the endless #hob gadling #the amount of them just not understanding what the other person wants or is offering at first is incredible #1489 #1589 #an essay #i really do think the dynamics in the first few meetings are SO INTERESTING and precarious

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stemwriter · 9 months

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Pursuit of Knowledge - Chapter 1

Finally, the first chapter! Criticism is absolutely welcome here, and I hope you enjoy!

This has a gender neutral reader, and is just the regular sentience au; no cult/creator/imposter stuff. Only main difference, [Y/N] is a lore fanatic.

Word count: ~3.3k

So there you were, sitting in your bedroom waiting for Genshin Impact to download. You had heard that it was a huge game, but for some reason your screen only said that there were only around 10 gigabytes of data. ‘I guess 10 gigabytes is pretty big for a mobile game,’ you thought, as the progress bar slowly made its way to 100%.

The stone doors opened, your screen went white, and the opening cutscene you’ve seen a million times before in all those video essays began to play.

Outlanders, your journey ends here.

You’d thought about which sibling you would pick before. You loved seeing Lumine as the villain, and so without hesitation, picked the boy, named Aether.

You’d seen some gameplay before, and you already thought the graphics were good, but this… This was astounding. It was better than what you’d seen before online. Your character didn’t look exactly realistic so to speak, but everything looked extremely high quality. How was this game free? You guessed the difference between this and what you remember was because you were playing on PS5, and began to move on through the story.

After getting the power of Anemo and seeing the Anemo God himself, you met Amber. You spammed through the dialogue, just wanting to get to Mondstadt.

“Ah! A hilichurl!”

“Quick, get it!”

She said “Get it!” like that hilichurl was no more than a bug in someone’s house, about to be killed for no reason other than being there. That… worried you, considering what hilichurls once were. You knew you had to kill this camp of hilichurls to progress the story, but you told yourself that starting now, you wouldn’t be killing any hilichurls unless you were forced to by the plot or you really needed resources.

After a mildly annoying amount of walking, you entered the city and ran to the Cathedral plaza to get your Wind Glider. Amber gave it to you, and you glided across the city, which seemed different, somehow, although you couldn’t tell what was wrong. You were then promptly thrown into the sky, shooting wind projectiles at a dragon.

“I’m preventing your fall with the power of a thousand winds!”

“HOLY CRAP! It’s God!”

“Concentrate on this! See yourself grasping the wind. Harness its energy.”

You listened to Venti instruct you on this gamemode you didn’t think you’d ever use again, making ‘pew pew pew!’ sounds as Dvalin’s HP bar slowly decreased.

It was the moment you’ve been waiting for. The Traveler lands, and the camera cuts to that blue-haired eyepatch man, one of your favorite characters, Kaeya. You waited until he finished his dramatic introduction, and yelled “WOOOOOOOO!!!!” at the top of your lungs. You thought about playing an audience cheering sound effect, but realized it’s too late now and you don’t even have your soundboard open. You should get that ready in a minute. You’ve already heard this before, so you skip through the dialogue. Well, at least Amber’s lines. You let Kaeya finish everything he has to say.

‘From afar? Is that all we know of them?’

“Surprisingly, yes.” You said, thinking about how you know so much about everyone in Teyvat yet know close to nothing about the main character. You knew they were older than 500, and they had a sibling, but just who were they? You focused back on the game, sighing after hearing Kaeya say he understands being separated from family, feeling your heart growing heavy as you remember his backstory. “You need someone to talk to, man, I’m all ears.” If there was one thing you really knew about his personality, it was that he needed a therapist.

You entered the HQ and listened to the group devise a plan. You still didn’t know why you were only taking care of 3 temples, but you would eventually figure that out, right? Right? You pulled on Noelle’s banner 10 times, only getting her, a sword called… Flute? and some 3 star weapons that you figured wouldn’t help you for long. You equipped The Flute on the Traveler, tested it out a bit, and set off to the three temples.

By the time you were done with Amber’s, you decided that you were absolutely not going to follow any instructions the system gave you. No one can tell you what you can do!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaeya was… perplexed, to say the least, when he prepared to walk up to Amber and a traveler she was with. For a split second, he could have sworn he saw everything turn gray, and strange, colorful, circles appeared around everyone’s joints. Already, he wondered if he was hallucinating, but then he heard the sound of someone cheering that felt as if it was coming from the traveler, but he didn’t open his mouth. Amber didn’t seem to react to it, either. That meant either neither of them noticed it, or he was seeing and hearing things. Assuming it was the latter, he continued on, making a mental note to keep watch of it.

“Hold on Amber, are you perhaps forgetting to introduce us?”

“Oh… right. This i- Thes-”

‘From afar? Is that all we know of them?’

“Surprisingly, yes.”

That voice! Again, but this time, it directly replied to his thoughts. Was it not a hallucination? Just what in Teyvat was this? He had a strong feeling that it was connected to the Traveler, but how could it see what he was thinking just then? He needed to investigate this, that’s for sure.

“Long st-”

“I see. Welcome to Mondstadt - though you haven’t arrived at the best of times, I’m afraid.”

The Traveler had been separated from his sister, and came to Mondstadt looking for help finding her. He knew how he felt. When Diluc left Mondstadt for all those years, he spent every day worried, wondering if he would ever return.

“I understand the anguish of being separated from family. I’m not sure why you’re looking for the Anemo God… but everyone has their secrets, right?”

“You need someone to talk to, man, I’m all ears.”

The voice was… comforting him now? Interesting.

Who was this traveler? He certainly wasn’t your average tourist. He’d taken him, his… companion, and Amber to the Knights of Favonius headquarters to see Master Jean, and while that conversation went somewhat normal, the atmosphere quickly became… unnerving as soon as it ended. The others stood still in the room, not saying a word. After a few moments, the Traveler left the room, and Kaeya could swear he saw him swinging a weapon in the main hall, but if he was, why didn’t any of the other Knights stop him?

Waiting at the Temple of the Wolf, he thought about his experience earlier. He realized that Amber never finished a sentence, but somehow he understood everything she said. Amber never told him the Traveler’s story, yet he knew it. Did that have to do with that voice? That strange presence? It didn’t seem like it was intending anything bad by the way it spoke to him, but this whole situation was just so… strange.

Kaeya walked around a bit and cleared the area of any potential threats, and after what felt like an hour, the Traveler finally arrived at the temple. He honestly was expecting him to take longer, considering he likely helped Amber first, but it was a surprise to not have to wait quite as long as he thought. How long did it take him to get there? He was a long way from the city of Mondstadt, yet he couldn’t even remember the journey to get here now. Could everything strange he’d experienced be caused by that presence? Hallucinations, memory issues; just what was going on?

“You’ve arrived,” he said, slightly hoping that voice didn’t respond and that it really was all in his head. “Come closer. Do you smell that?”

Unfortunately, it was not, in fact, all in his head.

“How in the world do you burn a Pyro Slime?”

‘It’s the smell of burnt Pyro Slimes.”

How did it know what the Traveler was going to say before he said it? Could it be… influencing him in some way? He continued on, wanting to get these temples taken care of so he could have time to investigate this, whatever this is. He watched as the Traveler walked up to the doors of the domain, and… teleported through them? ‘This day just keeps getting weirder…’ he thought, before entering the domain himself.

“Let me show you how the Knights of Favonius conquer our adversaries,” he said. Although he was about to fight, his body relaxed, and a chill went down his spine. He tried to snap himself out of it, but he found he couldn’t move. The hell…? After a couple of seconds, his body sprinted forward, as that voice said “Alright, here we go,” with a sigh. It was behind this, too? What was this? His heart pounded. He was powerless. It could do whatever it wanted with him, and he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. No one would know other than those affected… Why did he not mention this to anyone before? He tried to fight against it, but he still couldn’t move a muscle.

It felt as if he wasn’t fully in his body, as if he was only watching as his body was being puppeteered by some unknown entity. What did it want with him? The Traveler really was being influenced by them, wasn’t he? Was he too, being possessed by it? It seemed the entity could only use one body at a time, but while it was using one, the other completely disappeared.

Forget waiting until this Stormterror crisis was over, he needed to do something as soon as possible, before anyone else was affected by it! It couldn’t keep its hold over him for too long, right? He needed to get back to Mondstadt as soon as possible, to at least tell someone before it takes control of him again. He didn’t want to leave the Traveler like this, but he would have to if he was to do anything about it.

He calmed down a bit, as it didn’t instantly try to harm him, but he started to get concerned for his safety again when the entity made him jump over a pit of spikes in water. The water could very easily be frozen and walked on, avoiding the spikes entirely, and yet it made him jump over the pit. Nothing bad happened, though. Was it that confident in its, and to an extent, his, abilities? Or was it planning something more… violent? After the crystal was destroyed at the end of the temple, he felt like he was back in his body again, the entity no longer having control over him. Still, he didn’t want it to know he was trying to get away, so he started to speak as if nothing out of the expected happened. But why was it laughing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You knew of a little trick you could do in this next cutscene, the one where Diluc comes out of nowhere and obliterates an Abyss Mage. You chuckle to yourself as you pull up a video.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind OST - Giorno's Theme『il vento d'oro』

03:45 ━━━━━━━⬤──── 05:27

As the Abyss Mage comes out from the shadows, you hit Play on the video and watch as Diluc charges in, the song syncing to his movements. You could swear you saw a confused look on his face, but you assumed you were either seeing things, or that you just misremembered the cutscene. You didn’t remember every single detail, after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

…Of course that didn’t work. As soon as he left the temple, he fell into the entity’s control once again. It didn’t help that he never saw Diluc leave the temple. If he did, he might have a chance at getting him to notice something’s wrong. It also appeared that he and the Traveler were not the only people it had decided to use as its puppets. At various times, he would be thrown out of his body completely and watch as it uses another. He noticed not only the Traveler, but Amber, Noelle, and for a short while, Lisa.

It encountered a Ruin Guard at the Thousand Winds Temple. It used Amber to destroy the automaton’s core, stunning it, before using him to counter the Pyro element on it. It got back up again, but it wasn’t up for long before it was defeated, falling to the grou-

*lego breaking noise*

*metal pipe falling*

“*snickering* God, I love having a soundboard…”

What were those noises? Those didn’t come from the Ruin Guard, did they? Were they made by that “soundboard” thing?

After that, there were an abundance of strange noises, almost always accompanied by the entity laughing.

He also realized that it wasn’t killing any monsters; in fact, it even knew some Hilichurlian. Whatever this entity was, it didn’t appear to be intending to harm anything. It wasn’t killing any monsters, and it was giving him equipment that felt like it made him stronger. Did it even know it was controlling him like this? If not, would it continue if it knew?

Regardless of if they knew or not, they continued on, at one point using him to cross the ocean to an island he had never seen mapped before. It took a fair bit of time, considering how far out it was. After a few minutes, what sounded to be a recording of someone’s voice began to play, likely by this entity to prevent boredom.

At the beginning, it brought up what he believed was happening to him now, and went on to say how it might work. How gaining a “character” means the Traveler can now connect to the essence of the person, harnessing their abilities, and how getting more “constellations” gives a deeper connection. He had heard of people having their own constellation, but he couldn’t make any sense of it in this context. While he was very concerned on how people knew any of this, it only further confirmed his theory that whoever this was using his body had not a clue on what they were really doing.

The recording ended up discussing very intriguing things. He was confused on why they were referring to people as “characters” at the beginning, but the whole time, they were referring to Teyvat and its past, present, and future as if it was nothing but a fictional story, constantly mentioning the “plot”, “chapters”, “roles”, and such. Is that what this was to them? The recording mainly focused on the “fate” of Teyvat, and how it could possibly be changed. It had been a topic he had been endlessly thinking about, and this left him with… mixed feelings. On one hand, the Traveler may be the key to changing fate, and it gave him hope that things might actually end well for him. But on the other hand, would he really have to rely on someone else to decide his fate?

They found many chests on the island, and discovered someone’s notebook, which said that something strange happens here in the very early morning hours. The entity seemed confused for a bit, appearing to be looking for something, before sounding disappointed. They did another lap around the island, making sure they collected everything, and then teleported back to near Windrise, still seeming a bit confused.

They went north to the Stormbearer Mountains, and headed towards a watchtower, likely to get a better view of their surroundings. They weren’t about to get up there without a fight, though. Crossbow-armed hilichurls surrounded the place. Instead of taking them out then and there, they tried to just walk by, finding a good time to climb. He could tell they weren’t prepared for this, that they were overwhelmed. They shrieked as a Pyro hilichurl shot at him, trying to run away from the projectile.

This should be common sense, but one thing he knew about combat; when you dodge, don’t go running directly into the attack.

A flaming arrow hit him right in the jugular, and he was met with a world of searing pain. He didn’t know if it was this entity making him do it, but he let out a scream as it hit. The arrow had disappeared. He stood there, now choking, though his body did not react. Would this be how he died? By an arrow shot from a hilichurl he could easily take care of if he could just-

Time seemed to stop for a moment. Suddenly, everything was fine.

No pain, no wound, and he had the taste of chicken in his mouth.

They healed him from what was very easily a fatal wound just like that? That was why they were being so reckless, wasn’t it?

It had seemed like whatever was in control of him had no clue what they were doing, but how? How could they not know? Surely they must notice that something’s off, right?

At one point, they tried to climb up the Knights of Favonius building with Amber and fell, which caused her to disintegrate. He panicked, but soon after, she appeared again as if absolutely nothing had happened. Apparently, they had the power to revive people they were using, as well as heal fatal wounds. Sure, that was great that neither he nor anyone else this was happening to would have to fear dying, but that meant that if they wanted to, they could kill and revive someone under their control over and over again. It was a good thing they seemed to have no intentions of doing such a thing…

They were exploring for hours, during which time Kaeya’s thoughts mostly consisted of reactions to things they were saying or doing, with a little existential dread creeping in every now and then, wondering if he was ever going to gain back control. The sun went down, and soon after that, they said “Alright Teyvat, I’ll be back to conquer you tomorrow! I’m gonna go pass out!” That was a bit… direct, and he wasn’t entirely sure if they were joking by the “conquer” bit due to the events of the last couple of hours, but regardless, it was over. He nearly fell over after they left, not expecting to suddenly gain back control of his body again. Now, the question is, how does he go about solving this? Before he thought about that, he decided he needed a drink since he had some time to spare, and so he headed to Angel’s Share.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After finishing Lisa’s temple, you were free to explore Teyvat. You spent some time exploring Mondstadt, collecting Anemoculi, before going back to where you started. You knew of that unmapped island, and now that you had the power to ice bridge, you were going to go there. You knew it would take a while, so you put on another video essay explaining a Genshin theory to listen to, and began the journey.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t do everything. You were able to get a bunch of chests, but the quest there needed the time of day to be between 2 and 5 AM to progress. You remembered there being a time skip button, but you looked everywhere and just couldn’t find it. So, you had to go back to the mainland, defeated. Come to think of it, how long was the day/night cycle? It’s been over an hour and the sun’s barely moved. Was the in game time synced to real time? If so, why the hell would they make a quest that can only progress in the middle of the night? You figured that you’re just missing something, and started thinking about something else before you got too stressed out.

You played for a couple of hours, getting used to the combat system. It was fun, but you felt like the enemies did a bit too much damage. Seriously, one arrow from a low-level hilichurl shouldn’t almost one-shot your character! You felt pretty tired, and not wanting to struggle to keep your eyes open, you decided to log out, and continue your Magical Adventure™ tomorrow.

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And pass out you did, falling asleep as soon as your head hit your pillow. You ended up sleeping for a while, so by the time you got up, it was already pretty late in the morning. You had some errands to run, so you showered, got ready, and took care of them.

You had nothing else to do today, so you decided to open Genshin again and continue your adventure. The world loads in, and there you are, with your team of Aether, Amber, Noelle and- hold on where’s Kaeya? Maybe you removed him for some reason. You were pretty tired. You go to the party select screen, and select hi-

*This character is busy.*

What the hell does that mean?

#sagau #genshin fanfic #baby’s first fanfic #genshin sentience au #ao3 #fanfic #genshin impact #Pursuit of Knowledge

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star-burst365 · 1 year

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We’re all sleeping on the gem that is Matthias Helvar: an essay

Crooked Kingdom spoilers!!

We’re all in denial about Matthias’s death in ck but also he had some bangers lines and scenes even before chapter 40 such as:

finding out his full name was Matthias Benedik Helvar omg why are we sleeping on this

“how about i bite your lip”

“don’t eat the snow” i dont think they were planning to 💀

YOU ARE EVERY BLOSSOM BLOOMING AT ONCE?? HELLO??

his constant feud with kaz

kaz could breathe and matthias would already be fetching the holy water

any demjin moment ever

“you’re all horrible”

“they all seem like practical choices 😀”

the grandpa energy

nothing but respect and admiration for inej “the little bronze girl” ghafa

MY GHOST WONT ASSOCIATE WITH YOUR GHOST

the big brooding yellow tulip

nina handed him a gun during the ambush of soc and he fr would’ve killed her if they weren’t being shot at

“I can drink your poison no longer” was so powerful. he went from extreme prejudices against grisha after being raised and literally brainwashed by hatred to bashing his ex-commander in the head to free Nina omg

friendly reminder his entire family was killed by inferni but he still moves past it

something nobody talks about: he combined his hateful past of serving as a drukelle, something made to hunt grisha to lead two of them (Jesper and Kuwei) out of a corner and get them back to the rest of the crows in ck.

he used military tactics made to kill grisha to save grisha

this was so important for his development i swear

and don’t forget Nina either

“little red bird” please im not okay

MY LOVE AS A PET NAME THATS SO PURE MY GOD

him and nina squeezing in the littlest places just to cuddle together and rest together is so dvfnjkvsfnks

him just wanting to be there for Nina for every step of the way as she recovers from parem

his wet dreams consist of three things:

her “glorious thighs”

a traditional fjerdan life and the domestic lifestyle Fr

literally just vibing in a field of flowers

he saw a nameless husband help a nameless wife with her hair in ketterdam and wished that could be him and nina that’s too sweet help

all he wants is a domestic little life filled with love

but then there’s “he considered brushing it off with his lips, then told himself he should take a walk”

he just told himself to touch grass my god

but also the enemies to lovers lingers, my one of my favorite quotes being:

”you’d flirt with a date palm if it paid you any attention” the shade

also his family? the way he still has memories? so much so he foot massages a pregnant woman?

friendly reminder this man is built like a giant and looks the most threatening out of the group

and he fr lets a girl sing her heart out AND OFFERS TO TAKE HER ON A WALK BY THE LAKE HES SO PRECIOUS

”sing. by all means, sing” famous last words

him complimenting nina on her hair and how she styles it??

the toffee on the boat in soc

constantly regretting his life decisions in soc but willing to die for the crows in ck

the found family trope is killing me

“trickery isn’t my native tongue but I can still learn to speak it” the demjin and crows influence

his lil commander voice to silence the prisoners when they were getting in the truck made inej, someone with the posture of a knifes edge, stand straighter like wtf

HE HAD A WOLF WHY ARE WE SLEEPING ON THIS

HE IS 100% A DOG PERSON

HE AND KAZ WOULDVE PETTED THOSE DOGS FOR HOURS ON THAT ONE CK MISSION

he went from saying meaningful and encouraging things to nina and then when she said she wanted to cry in a corner he switched in 0.2 seconds and said “but…this room is round” oh my god

made out with nina in front of two thirds of the grisha triumvirate

HE PERKS UP WHEN NINA LAUGHS THATS SO ADORABLE

nina and him being twin soldiers sdnnnojnididoskc

him and Jesper’s scenes are honestly amazing, we were robbed

THE DELETED HELNIK SCENE I WANT TO DIE I WISH LEIGH KEPT THAT

he’s literally kaz’s bodyguard when trading for inej

learned a language while in prison I mean that’s pretty impressive

eats honor for breakfast lunch and dinner

”i. Should. Let. You. Die.” He says while trying to desperately save kaz

ran to nina with a bullet in his stomach for one last kiss, for one final goodbye

”save some mercy for my people” that hurts oh my god

the grisha are the favored and children of Djel was so important because that’s him connecting both his past and his much better present together in an actuslly good way

he doesn’t associate his religion with witches and tree handshakes anymore, now he considers those witches blessed by his tree god

in conclusion: I sobbed for weeks over his death and will never recover. thank you for coming to my Ted talk

#matthias helvar #six of crows #nina zenik #jesper #inej supremacy #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #the crows #shadow and bone #matthias x nina #helnik #demjin #the dregs #crooked kingdom #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #wylan hendriks #i miss them so much #ive been crying all day

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fallenclan · 8 months

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oooh clangen stories... I have a few but I think the one that sticks out in my mind the most is what happened to my clan, MapleClan. the whole thing was a complete shitshow of a clan, and unfortunately I don't have the save anymore but I do have discord messages of me liveblogging the whole thing to my friends

I think it started when one of the warriors, Barksky, died. he was found as an abandoned kit and died of greencough at the ripe old age of 16 moons ✌️ and then it was just downhill from there

after that my cats started dropping like flies; the moon after Barksky died, two more cats (including the deputy) died, and the leader chose to replace them with. the old deputy. who I demoted because everyone hated her. but at this point I was too invested in what was going on so I just let it happen

one of the cats, Houndspeck, announces she's having kits! great! surprising considering how old she is, but appreciated nonetheless. and then the next moon rolls around and she thinks she'll have. one kit. in that same moon, two warriors died. so now the allegiances look like this.

so now my clan consists of this kit (Fuzzykit ❤️), two guys who hate each others guts, and a bunch of old women. and in the same moon Fuzzykit becomes Fuzzypaw, Houndspeck dies. freshly orphaned and off to school! things are stable for a bit at 7 cats, and then Bogrump brings in an abandoned kit named Palekit. things are starting to look up, Finally

the only two guys in the clan, Juniperstreak & Squirrelfur, have a mutual hatred for each other. and I don't think I can even call it hate, that feels like too light of a word. both of their "dislike/hate" bars were almost maxed out. and yet they had the tiniest sliver of romantic like, for some reason

and then Curlystar loses 2 lives in a row, alongside Crouchpatch and Palepaw being killed by a gang of rogues. 6 cats now! the only young cat left in the clan is Fuzzyleaf. Curlystar loses ANOTHER 2 lives, leaving her with 1 life remaining

allegiances are looking something like this now. Squirrelfur & Juniperstreak in their love-hate relationship, Fuzzyleaf the only warrior, and the remainders of my crew of old women

so. then Curlystar loses her last life to OspreyClan. and now we're at war with them! with 5 cats left, 2 of which are elders! Blacktail goes missing and turns up dead, and then Bogrump & Juniperstreak die of greencough

this leaves the leader, Squirrelstar, and his deputy Fuzzyleaf. the war finally ends, after 30 moons, and Fuzzyleaf brings in a litter of 2 kits (Jetkit & Brookkit). MapleClan's story doesn't end there, but that's the end of the Bad Times™

I still haven't stopped thinking about Squirrelstar & Junipterstreak though.... mutual hate that lessened a little bit towards the end, but they still admired and relied on each other.... augh. toxic yaoi ❤️

I am So sorry about this essay, the saga of MapleClan was. much longer than I remember it being. probably close to 100 moons of struggle that all turned out ok in the end. I think I had around 20 cats the last time I played the MapleClan save, which is the biggest their clan ever got

that's fuckin wild holy shit. i love that squirrelstar was like "i hate your guts so bad. unfortunately if you died i would be inconsolable"

#the 'no save but i have the discord screenshots' thing is so relatable as well #shout out to my very first clan. DrPepperclan. you only exist in screenshots now </3 #fallenasks #mythicalwatch101

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found-wings · 8 months

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remember that one clip (I can find the link if u don't D:) of etoiles leaving after chatting with phil tubbo and foolish and as a joke he goes to phil and says 'phil- don't fucking forget' and the two just start repeating 'I will never forget' 'don't you forget who you are' 'if you forget just remember!' before moving to target foolish and quite literally bounce him around like a volleyball with punch knockback

anyway haha this fun scenario was great at the moment unless you make the fatal mistake I did and attach it to the code phil au and the torture sessions he's had with the federation (oh how I love taking non serious moments and making them Painful) and let me reach here bc im in the middle of essay writing and cant word this any better but those specific moments in an AU like this almost feel like foreshadowing to how the feds are basically taking phils identity away, forcing a split in his memory from before he had known he was partially code to after and making who he is today an entirely new person to who he was before this realization. along with the almost routinely memory wipes of the tests he's going through, I imagine that phil and etoiles would feel so bitter at how the federation seems to taint everything they touch and even affect memories that have nothing to do with them with making them age badly - 💿

Where are my crying emotes, where ARE MY CRYING EMOTES WAAAAAH

How DARE you, HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CRYYY AJALANSJ

Okay but actually I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, LIKE??? HOLY SHIT

I have a vague idea on the clip you mean, I have bad memory so WHEEZE I don’t 100% remember, but I vaguely do, and GODS it‘s so PAINFUL BUT I LOVE IT

The amount of things I can do with that. The amount of IDEAS THAT GIVES ME

Me coming up with the possible quote of ”If you ever forget again, I‘ll be the one to remind you” that could pop up in a conversation later on and RAH, CRIES

Imagine when it‘s just the two of them, Phil quietly saying ”I‘m so sorry for forgetting” in reference to that silly memory that all of a sudden feels so bitter to think about, SOBS

#qsmp #code philza <3 #💿 anon #winged.rambles

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pippin-katz · 7 months

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(anon re: sensitive ask) wow holy moly - thanks so much for providing such a comprehensive answer! Your insight was very helpful and super interesting. I knew people were reaching and just want to be haters - with Matthew’s intersectionality as an openly gay, Latino person in the industry, he would never have malintent about re-characterisations.

And well done on that massive 14-parter essay 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I’ll 100% keep going back to it to ground myself when the inevitable loud critics show up. I’m really glad that you did the re-watch and ended up loving the movie as a standalone text. Truly, your writing about the movie has been transformative and brings so much joy and satisfaction to my inner literature/critical analysis nerd (and I’m sure to many others as well!)

JUST - THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Wow, I’m a bit speechless. I’m honored that my writing has been impactful to you! Rest assured that I’m not stopping any time soon lmfao I don’t think I could even if I wanted to! Thank you for your kind words and for reading my writings!! 😊

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #katz questions

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pia-writes-things · 2 years

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Holi, hola, frenchside of Tumblr!

Je ne crois pas en avoir parlé ici mais, je fais actuellement partie de la revue littéraire de mon uni en Colombie, El Galeón (insta: @gacetaelgaleon, site web: https://gacetaelgaleon.wixsite.com/galeon)

Et, hier, le rédacteur en chef m'a proposé d'ouvrir une nouvelle section dans la revue le semestre prochain (donc à partir de janvier), une section pour les textes en français 🤗🤗

Du coup, l'idée serait que je sois en charge de trouver des textes originaux en français et de faire le processus d'édition pour ensuite les publier, une fois tous les 15 jours 😍

Ca peut être en format écrit mais aussi audio ou audiovisuel, ça peut être de la fiction, de la poésie, des essais académiques, à peu près tout et n'importe quoi de littéraire 😊

Donc, si c'est quelque chose qui vous intéresserait, si vous avez envie de voir comment ça fait de publier des textes dans une revue littéraire, ou si juste vous trouvez ça cool de publier des textes en français mais en Colombie, vous pouvez me les envoyer et on pourra travailler tout ça ensemble 🥰

Je vous avoue que je sais pas trop dans quoi je me lance, mais j'ai déjà fait un peu de beta-reading par le passé et je prends des cours d'édition donc a priori, je sais à peu près ce que je fais ^^

Pour les critères techniques, c'est juste en dessous :)

Format: Word

Police: Arial

Taille: 12

Interligne: 1.5

7 pages maximum ou 10 min max pour des audio ou vidéos

Si le texte est un essai et a des citations: normes APA 7ème édition

Images: JPG ou PNG haute résolution

Audios: MP3

Vidéo: MP4

Les propositions doivent être envoyées à [email protected], avec pour objet "Proposition de publication" et l'e-mail doit contenir les détails suivants : Nom complet de l'auteurice (ou des auteurices). Courte biographie, 100 mots maximum. Adresse électronique Numéro de portable Si l'auteurice (ou certain.e.s d'entre elleux) est mineur.e, une lettre d'autorisation signée par un.e tuteurice légal.e majeur.e doit être jointe.

Voilà, voilà !

#frenchsideoftumblr #upthebaguette #what the france #littérature #french literature #writing #creative writing #publishing #pia's oversharing

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vivien-ien-ien-ien-ien-ien-ien · 9 months

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|Slight Rant about Destiny, My favourite game ever. Just a genuine rant, with things coming straight out of my mind.|

|a few no no words :3|

I know absolutely nobody gives a shit about what I as a player thinks,because no one knows of my existance on this wonderful app. But holy shit does State of the Game make me go crazy. I went into it not expecting anything much, but even this dogshit 6000 word essay about how hard it is for them to manage their own game instead of making microtransactions and 20 euro armor sets that fill up their mobile game store pissed me a lot more than it should've.

Bungie said "uhmmmm making the game is hard :p, we wont support gamemodes we added :3 pay us more money for final shape :))), also we are killing off gambit!! And not making any new armor sets, because YOU THE COMMUNITY are never using them!!! IT'S NOT LIKE WE MAKE THE ARMOR PIECES LOOK LIKE SHIT!!!".

First they butcher lightfall with terrible writing and design, practically ruin any potential characters like Calus have, and charge over a 100 euro for the expansion that has less content than base Taken King, or Rise of Iron or Forsaken. "We have devs that want to make great things, butttt we tell them to stop trying, because we will set ourselves up for disaster!!!" The fact that they even blame the community on some aspects is like bro...

Like, about the armor sets for ritual activities. They say they have no desire to make new sets, because players don't engage with them. WHEN BUNGIE makes them purposely uninteresting and uninspired, so that the sets in the eververse store looked much more appealing.

Yes, guys! Underdeliver more! Make your players pay over a 100 digits of their currency to get less content than before! Not only is half of it Nostalgia bait and recycled garbage! But it's completely awful and most likely not play tested!

Kill off pvp, kill off gambit. Kill off your game, just to fuel Marathon, yippers!! Whatever makes the corporate wheel spinning.

I don't regret my 4000 hours in Destiny 2. Met a lot of great people and made friends, enjoyed content. But I'm upset that they are managing their game like this, holding The Final Shape to us like it's some sacred Carrot on a Stick. Let's watch them go into panic mode, fix the game, then start doing the same thing all over again.

I'm tilted...

#destiny 2 #calus #emperor calus

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vintage-bentley · 11 months

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I’m gendercrit but holy hell I’m still shocked at how bad those comments were. I love how so many of the negative ones are like “as a polyace as a trans gay guy as an asexual,” go on to insist that PIV can be gay, when they have absolutely zero stake or should have any opinion on homosexuality at all. I’m also sure the author is probably gay or lesbian and they jumped on them for this - chastising them for being a bad gay basically, a bigot a terrible person, because having an opinion that’s absolutely 100% correct and based in the reality of sex and calling out homophobia is a sure fire way to get yourself crucified by people who appropriate shit. These people are batshit insane and hate gay people. Author should do an updated essay where they’re even more upfront and angry tbh especially since this GO attitude of ‘they’re not human they can mix match sex and still be gay” has literally spread to other fandoms with human gay couples and so where’s this excuse now? They don’t respect gay characters and they def don’t understand or share any common goals with actual gay ppl

The worst thing about those people acting like they have any say on topics about homosexuality, is that you can’t tell them otherwise without being told you’re some sort of phobic!! When it comes to all their made up issues, they have no problem saying “only ace people get an opinion!” But when it comes to actual real issues regarding homosexuals, suddenly it’s open to everyone. I wonder if it has to do with the way they’ve hijacked the word gay to no longer mean homosexual, but to instead mean “anyone who wants to call themselves gay to feel special”. As in, they think they’re gay because they want multiple partners, so they get a say in anything regarding gay people.

It’s even worse with “trans gays”…because you know damn well they’re literally homophobic heterosexuals…but you can’t tell them that unless you want to be called transphobic. And you know they won’t listen to you when you say “Aiden, you’re a homophobic straight woman, you get no say on this topic” because they’re so self-absorbed and so caught up in their own ideology that they don’t even listen to anyone who begins to invalidate their fantasy.

Point of that little rant is to say, it is so damn frustrating to see a bunch of non-homosexuals acting like their opinion holds the same weight as homosexuals when it comes to discussing our sexuality…and knowing that their ideology enables them so much that you can’t say anything about it, they’ll just tune you out. It’s frustrating to know that I can give my opinion as a homosexual, only to be overruled by a straight woman calling herself an “aromantic trans nonbinary man” who thinks her fake identities give her more say than me.

And yes, the backlash to the essay absolutely has to do with the idea of a (presumed) homosexual stepping out of line. These people see gays as pawns and objects they own, and hate to see us having our own voice that opposes theirs. Because they think they’re entitled to our agreement and compliance.

They’re also accustomed to being in a community where everyone has the same opinions, everyone claims they’re gay, and everyone validates them. So I think it’s an absolute shock to them when somebody they assume would be in this same boat, has a mind of their own. It’s like, “what? You’re supposed to be Mindless Genderist #200, especially because you’re gay! How could you betray our community like this?”

If the author is still around here and reading this, please please please write another essay, I will eat it up. The first one did a really good job of being respectful and not heavy-handed on the gender critical aspect, which I think is the reason it resonated with me. If it was explicitly a “terf” essay, all my critical thinking would’ve been shut down because Terf Bad. But because it was just laying out points with no belief system attached, I was able to go into it just as a homosexual and find my agreement that way, not swayed by any pressures to believe a certain ideology. But it would be great to read another one that is more firm and angry, because lord knows it would be more than justified.

And I’ve noticed that too, that the “they’re not human, so they can’t be gay” excuse has spread to other fandoms. It’ll just take different forms depending on what’s available in the media’s universe. So for example, in a universe with magic, the fandom will use the magic system as an excuse for why the characters can’t possibly be gay (but they can be anything else). In a universe without magic, it’ll be something like “well, these characters are so deep and complex, so it’s not good to limit them to a label like gay (but they can be anything else)”.

It’s very clear to me that it’s not actually about trying to find interesting and complex ways of worldbuilding like these fandoms claim. Because if that was the case, why would homosexuality need to be ruled out? Wouldn’t it be interesting to discuss how this very real and important experience fits in with the universe in question? Instead, this is clearly about how fandom has always been homophobic, and they’ve finally found an acceptable excuse for it. Why else would the focus constantly be on explaining why characters can’t possibly be gay?

#asks #anon

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