#esp since she's not feeling well and has a lot going on and real problems lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

everythingsinred · 10 months

Text

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 21)

Finally! We have at long last reached the Sports Festival Arc, one of my favorite arcs, and perhaps even my last favorite arc! I like parts of every arc, but I find the Sports Festival to be one of the last Perfect TM arcs. Just my opinion.

We'll aggressively analyze Mikan's love for Natsume in this arc, something she will definitely not be doing herself, even though she will be repeatedly confronted with it, especially with Luna's arrival to Class B.

<- Prev Next ->

Chapter Seventy-Seven

Need y’all to know that this is the fourth google doc I’m using for this essay. I figured I’d open a new one to celebrate a new arc beginning. We’re officially 87600 words in. Very impressive!

The chapter begins with a lot of bad news for Mikan and friends. She has been having nightmares where she’s chased by Persona, probably a consequence of the traumatic experience of nearly being murdered by him, with the added pizazz of hearing the ESP’s voice warning her not to lose anything important. Mikan is so haunted by this that she is even afraid to fall asleep since the dream feels so real. We can discern from this state of unease that she might not be getting the proper sleep she needs to remain alert, and she seems pretty out of it at times.

I'm afraid... "Where's Natsume?" Maybe... she thinks of him because he makes her feel safe? Hmm?

Mikan’s mood changes when she realizes that Natsume is absent from the dining hall. He’s been on an alleged “trip” for three days and she is curious about where he’s gone--probably missing him, though she’d never admit it.

Mikan has been going to Hotaru’s room to get some sleep, seeking comfort for her nightmares. But she also seeks Natsume at this point too--he’s been able to help her a lot the last few times she’s faced a problem and he was able to make the problem feel small or insignificant. The fact that she seeks his presence now makes sense, even though she doesn’t actually put the two thoughts together.

In any case, a whole term has passed and now is the beginning of a new school year, so Mikan is now officially a sixth-grader!

Goshima has been appointed the new student council president, which Mikan is excited about regardless of the negative changes he promises to bring--and that’s because she’s not really paying attention to him. Instead, her attention is on the fact that, just as Yuu had suggested, Natsume is on stage with the other principal students for the ceremony.

"He looks a little more adult now..." she also says... Damn, Mikan.

Natsume has been gone a lot, apparently, and although the reader (us) knows that he’s been going on an increased amount of missions for the DA class, Mikan has no clue. She’s just excited to see him. “After making us worry so much!” she says. “It’s been so long since we’ve seen Natsume!” And, yes, the class hasn’t seen him a lot these days, but Mikan was the one vocally worrying. We have discussed at length Mikan’s attempts to distance herself from her feelings by saying “we” or “people” when she means herself. This is about as close as we’ll get to her admitting that she’s been worried and missing him.

Her focus is entirely on him, that he looks tired, wondering where he’d been all this time, noticing that he looks more grown-up all of a sudden.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

Mikan has not seen Natsume consistently for a while. She’s already in love with him, as we’ve discussed, but having the object of her affection leave her sights for a while and then return makes the feelings he brings--including attraction--come back suddenly, making her think that he looks different somehow. Yes, the kids are growing and he might have had a growth spurt, but I think the absence hit her as well.

She is snapped back to reality by Goshima’s conclusion. She has missed his announcement of controversial new policies, including the establishment of a morals committee (the fukitai), a means to control the rebellious spirit of the students associated with Mikan and Natsume. This is awful and terrifying and no such institution has ever brought feelings of comfort or safety to a school, but it’s interesting that Goshima’s entire address went over Mikan’s head because she was too busy staring at Natsume. She managed to disregard his warnings as well as the concerned gossip surrounding her because of her distracted focus. Wow!

Her mood is dismal now because she’s thinking of the ESP’s Christmas warning not to lose anything important to her--the threat feels more potent with each new piece of information. The fukitai will be standing guard in each classroom, apparently, and none of the students are pleased with that. Mikan feels like her darkest nightmare came true.

But the gloomy mood made her think of Natsume, and she perks up. (“When I hear 'gloomy,' I think of Natsume. When I think of Natsume, I think of slanty eyes. When I think of slanty eyes, I think of foxes--”) Just the thought of him changes her mood and she looks over the room to try and find him, only for Ruka to inform her that he won’t be in class today. Though it’s a short scene, I think it’s telling that the excitement of seeing Natsume again changes her entire mood and makes her entirely forget her worries and concerns, if only for a moment.

Mikan rushes to the SA class to share good news with her senpai but is sadly crushed by two immediate revelations: one, that the fukitai are haunting this classroom as well, and two, that Tsubasa is absent. Many excuses have been made by Noda and Tsubasa for where he’s been, but none of it makes sense and Mikan idly wonders if Natsume and Tsubasa are going through the same thing (yes, they are). Her intuition is spot on again, though her train of thought is quickly derailed by her desire to share three pieces of news with her senpais.

She’s very excited about the Sports Festival coming up, but the senpais are unmoved since that happens every year and isn’t a big deal.

Then, the elementary class has some student teachers, which also isn’t news, because high school kids have to do vocational training every year too. But her real news is that all three student teachers in her class are the former student council: Sakurano, Subaru, and Shizune. This is shocking because they’re only in their first year of vocational training and already acting as student teachers, an exceptionally impressive feat.

Always pay attention to changes like this! Mikan never reacted this way before to being pulled into Tono's lap... Though I have no idea what this is supposed to reflect TBH.

Mikan notices Tono is tuned out, but then he scoops her up and asks for the third piece of news. I find her reaction of revulsion to be interesting. She gets away from him and says “You’re gross,” which is certainly not how she’d reacted to his grabbing her before. Mikan, previously oblivious to what all his perverted comments and actions really mean, has come to realize that he isn’t all that innocent. I do wonder where this change comes from. It could be that Tsubasa and Misaki’s warnings have started to accumulate enough for her to build a better idea of what Tono’s unclean motives are. It could also be the natural consequence of growing up and becoming--even by a little--more mature over this past school term. I honestly couldn’t tell you.

Her last piece of news is that Class B is welcoming a new student tomorrow, which does mildly surprise her senpais enough that she’s satisfied with her sharing now. She hopes that the new student will be nice and is actually excited for their arrival, though she shouldn’t be.

She shares one more bit of information, that Sakurano has warned her not to talk too much to him or the other student teachers, and to not get caught by the fukitai for anything.

Mikan is walking alone, possibly back to class, when she spots Natsume. She calls out to him and starts to ask him where he’s been when he darts away for no good reason. She chases after him, desperate to talk to him again after such a long time. He stops suddenly and she bumps her face into his back and when she finally looks up into his face, he’s smiling.

So much to say about this moment…. Where do I even start?

Mikan is holding onto him, probably to keep him there, afraid that he’ll run off again if she doesn’t (because she doesn’t want him to leave).

He calls her a spaz and she’s unbothered, because, once again, she’s distracted by her staring at him. Just as she thought--he is different. Cue sparkly panels of her staring at him…

She holds onto him! Sparkly panels! This is romance!

She tugs on his shirt while she muses that he has had a growth spurt, that he has gotten taller. His smile fades a little because of the prolonged silence until she asks him again where he’s been, if he’s been doing some kind of training.

Training?!

Is this one of the excuses Ruka gave for Natsume’s absence? Or did Mikan assume that because of the physical changes she sees in Natsume? I couldn’t tell you, but either way, Mikan’s distraction with his appearance is pretty noteworthy!

Mikan is easily taken with physical beauty. It’s one of her many weaknesses. She is easily awed by beautiful people. I believe that Mikan’s sparkly panels from when she first meets Natsume are an example of that--that when she first saw his face without his mask on, she was in awe for even a moment before he ruined her first impression. I think that’s how she’s feeling now--awestruck and staring at a pretty face. Despite being usually very talkative, she was unresponsive for long enough that Natsume had to prompt her into speaking.

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder."

The conversation quickly turns into bickering from there, but it’s still not unpleasant. Natsume is a constant for her school life and he seems to have returned, complete with teasing remarks. He's the whole package, really.

And then we see Luna, staring at them, about to be led to class.

I’ve been in (or at least I’ve been observing) the GA fandom for a really long time. Since 2010, to be precise. Like, 13 years straight. I’ve read the manga countless times, seen countless AMVs, and read countless fanfics and I know how people feel about Luna. I’ve seen it all--Luna is ugly, a slut, an evil bitch, a villain for tearing NatsuMikan apart. Yes, she’s frustrating for sure, but I love Luna’s role in this story. Always have!

What to steal from Mikan.....? Oh... Maybe this...

Why does Luna appear here? Suspense, probably. A little tease that things will change even further.

But why does she appear here, looking at them?

Her job is to watch over Mikan and make sure she doesn’t get into trouble (causing rebellions and the like). She’s also here to “punish” her for her behavior on New Years. Luna could’ve gone about this punishment any number of ways, but we’ve been seeing ESP’s warning (“Be careful not to lose anything important to you.”) over and over again for a reason. Mikan cares about a lot of people, but Luna’s punishment is focused on Natsume, on taking Natsume away from Mikan. She makes little efforts into manipulating Hotaru and turns Class B against Mikan, but this arc is focused on NatsuMikan.

After all, this is Luna's projected revenge against Yuka, and Yuka didn't just steal her alice. Luna felt, as a groomed teenager, that Yuka was stealing the ESP's affections as well. She felt like her romance suffered because of her former best friend. She couldn't interfere in Yuka's romance (the ESP already did that), so she'll interfere here. This is her revenge, her personal little mission. There's a reason she targets so much energy on stealing Natsume as opposed to Ruka or Hotaru. That reason is romance.

Chapter 77 is the intro chapter. Often, in chapters like this one, that precede a big emotional arc, we’re introduced to themes or ideas that will be expanded upon later on in the arc. In this case, Chapter 77 traced Mikan’s yearning for Natsume, her deepening affections for him, and her desire to have him by her side (to not leave). There’s other themes too, of course, like the fukitai and the threat of a changing social order, but those are secondary. Thus, we can deduce, just based off this chapter, that her relationship with Natsume will face some obstacles.

We saw how awestruck and happy to see him Mikan was just now. But so did Luna.

Luna focuses her punishment on Natsume for a reason, and thus her appearance here isn’t just important in order to keep our interest, it’s also for the plot reason of giving Luna a specific target right away.

Chapter Seventy-Eight

“Mikan keeps walking in the thorny path. What will be waiting for her hereafter?” Nothing good.

Luna has just become a new student in Class B. Everyone is instantly taken with her, including Mikan, who is eager to make a new friend. There’s a lot of “ooh”-ing and “ahh”-ing, in regards to Luna being cute and curiosity about her alice. These questions are put on pause when Narumi announces that Luna has the life-shortening alice and has been forbidden from using it. (We all know how I feel about that already LMAO.)

I’ve seen some people take Luna’s “life-shortening alice” at face value, but I always assumed her “having the fourth shape” was an excuse not to reveal her alice to the class. When Luna was first going to school years ago, she was hated and unpopular because of her alice. If Luna wants to be popular now, it’s important that she seems as innocent and harmless as possible. Additionally, her alice needs to be a secret so that she can keep using it on people without anybody figuring out what she’s up to. Her sickness later on in the story--as far as I can tell--was the consequence of her abusing Gulliver candy on a regular basis for weeks at a time (since we already know it's been banned from Central Town for its adverse side effects), not because of her alice shape.

I don't think that's how any disease works NGL.

Besides, her “life-shortening” alice seems to involve nothing more than coughing loudly whenever she doesn’t get what she wants. And right off the bat too.

She doesn’t want to sit next to Kabayaki-kun, so apparently her health is affected and she starts coughing until her gaze lands on Natsume. But she can’t sit next to Natsume, because he’s already sitting with Ruka and Mikan. Until that affects her health too and Narumi orders Mikan to move seats to accommodate Luna’s fickle demands.

It’s not that Mikan wants to, but there’s instantly an air of pressure in the class to walk on eggshells and make sure not to worsen Luna’s alice-related health by upsetting her. I think Mikan probably really doesn’t want to move because she’s been missing Natsume all last chapter and for a while longer off page. She wants to spend time with him when she has the chance, and that’s probably why she’s sitting next to him today.

But apparently Luna will die if she doesn’t get what she wants, so Mikan agrees to move.

Until Natsume grabs her by the arm and insists that he is the one who decides who he sits next to, and he chooses Mikan. Cue a sparkly panel of Mikan being touched that Natsume wants to sit with her and not Luna…

He also uses her name here, something that always gets to her.

This is a short moment, but it's one that Mikan thinks back on later. In this moment, she feels wanted by him, like whatever affection she has for him is requited, like if he had it his way, they could sit together all the time. She's touched because it's like he's saying "me too" to all the thoughts she's never let herself think. It's always about them.

Sadly, this is short-lived. Luna will fucking DIE if she doesn’t get to sit next to NATSUME, and if anybody stops her from getting what she wants, they are responsible for MURDERING her.

It’s only when the entire class begs that Natsume finally gives in.

The entire class is still curious about Luna despite her wretched behavior, still convinced her sickness must be related to her alice. Meanwhile, all this talk about life-shortening alices makes Mikan think about Natsume.

It’s interesting to note the school’s treatment of Luna’s alice shape versus Mikan’s theory about Natsume. Apparently, when a student has the fourth shape, the teachers make an announcement and forbid them from using it. If there was no such announcement for Natsume, perhaps he doesn’t have that alice shape! But Natsume has been a special case for the school from the beginning. He even told her he’s not like the rest of them and he’s been mistreated far worse than his classmates could imagine.

Mikan wonders if his missions have stopped since the New Year’s fiasco. Her attention remains fixed on him, as it will throughout this arc, really, wondering again if maybe his alice is the fourth shape, until Luna says she’ll use a bit of her alice to show everyone. Because for some reason, using a small bit wouldn’t really affect her health, but sitting next to Kabayaki-kun would.

Mikan wants to see, but apparently Luna can’t use her alice--something is nullifying it. Mikan instantly insists it wasn’t her and we know already that she wouldn’t do that, but the seeds of suspicion have been planted. She introduces herself to Luna, but Luna does not react the way a normal person would to meeting a stranger. She smiles in a sinister way and reaches out for her face. None of this is normal, and Mikan can sense that there’s something wrong with Luna. But the moment is resolved with Hotaru pushing her out of the way and, heartbreakingly, Natsume taking Luna’s hand in his.

Not good!

Before, Mikan knew Natsume would prefer to sit next to her instead of Luna, but he was pressured into sitting with Luna. Now, he elects to sit next to her, their hands interlaced. Mikan is incredibly bothered by this. How could he change his mind about Luna--about her--over the course of one class period? It’s definitely not the best day of her life, but it’s about to get worse.

The Sports Fest teams are being split up. Technical and Somatic classes are together on the White Team, with Special and Latent on the Red Team. The DA class then fills in at the end, so Natsume has the choice of whether he’ll be on the Red or White Team. Since Mikan can’t be on the same team as Ruka or Hotaru, her attention zeroes in on Natsume, her dear partner and the boy she loves. Maybe they can be on the same team!

But Luna is on the White Team, in the Somatic Class. And she wants Natsume on her team.

I love Mikan’s thoughts and behaviors here. Though she’d initially been excited to make friends with Luna, her opinion has shifted very quickly. Yes, Luna did act like a creep with her before, but Mikan’s main beef isn’t about that, it’s about Natsume.

“wOn’T yOu, hyUuGa-kUn?” Sinister, mocking, unpleasant. Mikan now views Luna as (correctly) insincere and manipulative, and (incorrectly) as a threat to Natsume’s affections for her. “Here she goes again,” Mikan thinks, because she watched Luna get precisely what she wants all day for no real reason. If she doesn’t step in, Luna will continue to get what she wants, and Mikan doesn’t want that because she wants Natsume more.

So she speaks up, desperate. Calling out to him and telling him straight up that she wants him on her team, asking him to join the Red Team and be with her. That's right! She asks Natsume to be on her team, to choose her, something she has never ever done before, because she's that desperate to keep him with her.

Come to the Red Team. Come to MY team. Come to me.

But Natsume chooses to be on the White Team anyway.

This is important for a lot of reasons so I’ll do my best to sum it all up.

Luna and Mikan’s mini face-off here makes Natsume’s choice about more than color--it’s specifically choosing between Luna and Mikan. Thus, even though Natsume’s best friend is also on the White Team, Mikan is hurt and shocked because he didn’t choose Ruka over her, he chose Luna over her.

Mikan rarely tells Natsume what she wants from him, mainly because she doesn’t even want to admit it to herself. So here, when she pleads with him to pick her team (to pick her), it’s because she’s that desperate. This is a rare glimpse of bare honesty from Mikan, where she finally says out loud what she wants. That makes it hurt all the more when he rejects her.

Chapter 77 introduced us to Mikan’s desire to keep Natsume with her. I’d stated then that her desire would be under threat in this arc, and it begins right away, with Luna threatening to swipe him away to the White Team and away from Mikan.

She has just been rejected by the boy she loves. He chose another girl over her, even after she asked him to pick her (her team, her, etc.). Now Mikan has to confront her own hurt and conflicting feelings. She is jealous, unhappy, hurt, and now has to ask herself why.

“Be careful not to lose anything important to you.”

Mikan feels like she is, now, losing something very important. She hadn’t admitted to herself yet just how important Natsume really was, but that doesn’t make the pain and fear of losing him any less potent.

Chapter Seventy-Nine

Things were bad, got worse, and are now about to break all kinds of records of terrible because it’s apparently not awful enough that Natsume chose to be on Luna’s team instead of Mikan’s; nooo, Narumi has to rub salt in the wound by announcing that Natsume is now Luna’s partner. Mikan has adapted to school life after all, and she’s always hated being Natsume’s partner, hasn’t she? They’re not really working on anything together, either, so there’s really no issue with appointing Natsume a new partner, someone who wants to be his partner. Surely, Mikan doesn’t mind.

But Mikan does mind!

"Because you're my partner!" isn't gonna work anymore.

And this is important, because, in reality, Narumi dissolving their partnership doesn't have any actual consequences in the story. It's not like Natsume has to work with Luna on any projects or anything afterward. Things are almost the same, but the loss of that word matters, especially to Mikan.

From the beginning, their partnership was what tied them together. She had to go back and save Natsume from blowing himself up because he’s her partner. He had to accompany her to Central Town. They were narratively paired. Everyone knew her because of her tie to him through their partnership. Mikan doesn’t really call Natsume her friend often because it’s not entirely accurate to her feelings for him. He’s her partner.

Even if he’s rude to her, they’re partners. No matter what happens, they will always have that to bond them together. If he chooses Luna, it sucks, but at least they’re partners. He can’t do anything to change that.

But they’re not partners anymore.

Losing this isn’t just hurtful, it’s confusing. If Natsume and Mikan aren’t partners, then what are they? And why is all of this happening at once? Why is it that when Luna gains something, Mikan loses it?

“You really hated being Natsume’s partner, after all!” But she didn’t.

This day sucks, huh.

But Mikan would rather cling to confusion about Narumi’s motives than anything else. Confronting her own feelings or Natsume’s is not pleasant, so she’d rather wonder why Narumi is acting weird and making such sudden decisions. But when Natsume is brought up, Mikan is once again confronted with her pained feelings about his role in this situation. He’s so wishy-washy. Hadn’t he wanted to sit next to her, not Luna? Why would that change so quickly?

In any case, the Sports Festival is about to begin. They have a day of training before the events begin. Mikan has plenty of friends on her team, so she focuses on having fun instead of on the painful memory of not having Natsume beside her. But apparently the Sports Festival is a far more serious event than she’d realized. Red Team is forbidden from fraternizing with the opposing team until the end of the festival, to maintain a Red victory.

Mikan is crushed, since many of her friends are on the white team. She especially focuses on Natsume, staring at him until he looks over at her. She quickly looks away, embarrassed to be caught. When we compare this to Mikan's staring at him in Chapter 77, this is a sad change. She felt more comfortable looking at him then because she was under the impression that he felt similarly to however she did--those unspoken, unacknowledged feelings. But now it's different. He seems miles away, and she doesn't feel like she's allowed to stare anymore. The mood does change for the better when we discover Youichi chose Red over White and when Yuu reassures Mikan that they’ll all have fun regardless of the crazy rules.

She can no longer look at her beloved!

But Luna’s “harem of followers” takes issue with Mikan’s nullification and warn her that if she nullifies Luna’s alice, they’ll punish her for it. She’s faced with a barrage of accusations. Though Mikan is not bullying Luna, they are right about her being jealous that Natsume has been spending all of his time with Luna these days. The thing is that the partial truth to the situation makes her look that much more responsible.

This run-in with Luna’s victims rises suspicions that Luna might be using some sort of pheromone, since the kids aren’t acting like themselves.

Things take a dramatic turn when the equipment goes flying--a genuinely dangerous incident since some of the equipment in question is heavy and could cause severe damage. Mikan is saved in the nick of time by a mysterious person tugging her to the safety of a utility closet.

Chapter Eighty

The mysterious person is Luna, and she is not acting out of kindness.

Mikan wonders about what’s going on outside and who brought her here when suddenly she realizes there are hands around her throat. Luna starts cackling and by now Mikan knows for sure that there’s something wrong with her, because Luna seems to hate her something special for no reason. Mikan shoves her away and tries to recover her breath.

Luna only seems amused, whining about being scared of Mikan’s violent tendencies. This is, of course, ridiculous. Luna was the one who just attacked her, and Mikan pushed her off in self-defense. Luna's attitude here, particularly in regards to skewing the facts, reflects how she will act throughout this arc, and how rumors and carefully chosen words can challenge people's loyalty.

Luna isn't finished berating Mikan. Acting so violent--just like her criminal mother.

But she doesn’t linger on that topic, switching instead to egg Mikan on--she’s so popular, isn’t she? She must be having so much fun! But Luna will have fun too, “breaking and stealing” everything that Mikan holds dear, one by one, imagining that Mikan’s suffering face is her mother’s. There’s a lot that Mikan is suddenly facing in this one conversation. Luna knows the secret of her “shameful birth,” and seems to know her mom. On top of that, Luna hates her and wants to ruin her life. But if Mikan is good, then Luna might fill her in a little more. That means Mikan has to stay quiet about what happened here. She should do as she’s told because otherwise the people she loves could get hurt.

Can Mikan have a break? Or is that too much to ask?

Mikan has no time to respond or even to process what she’s just heard, because suddenly, the door is open. Mikan is now accused of being a bully, but she can’t say much to defend herself. She looks around and sees how much damage this incident has caused. Luna threatened to do worse if Mikan didn’t comply with her demands, so how can she say anything? Mikan thinks, “I’m scared.” She’s faced with a horrible choice: either she sullies her own reputation and lets Luna do as she wants, or she must watch as people close to her are hurt.

Sacrifice, Mikan. Isn't that what you wanted to do at the start of this manga?

Mikan’s silence results in her getting arrested by the fukitai.

Conclusion

It's really fun analyzing the Sports Fest Arc. Mikan's love for Natsume and subsequent jealousy is at the forefront here, and I always have a blast reading these chapters because of how clear her feelings are even without her ever saying them out loud. Tomorrow, we'll continue!

<- Prev Next ->

9 notes · View notes

homielander · 1 year

Note

hey! hope you’re doing well! <3 wanted to ask, what about cole’s depiction did you not like after hotd ep. 5? cuz i totally agree; felt like the writing in terms of his character was more compelling earlier in the season, and i am bitter with the timeskips basically robbing us of a lot of character dynamics (love alicole dynamics and cole/ali’s kids, but i wanted more!!) hoping next szn will be better esp since fabien said a lot of his scenes will be with a certain actor (i’m predicting ewan)

hello! thank you, and i hope you're doing great <3

we can't have any discussion about criston in this show without first considering his encounter with rhaenyra, and the dubious consent on criston’s part.... it's been discussed to death already, but i will reiterate: he only went inside her chambers to get his helmet. he asked her to stop. then he tried to go for the door (and was blocked from leaving). he was visibly uncomfortable. she was in a position of power over him. i'm not saying rhaenyra intended for him to feel this way, but that doesn't change that their perceptions of the situation seemed very different. i need people calling him an "incel" for hating rhaenyra to be sooo for real right now.

the problem is (and this has happened more than a few times on this show) that the writers clearly intended to communicate something different with that scene than what came across to a bunch of viewers. so i suppose based on what they intended to portray, criston couldn't resist temptation, slept with rhaenyra, then blamed her for his own poor decision. the issue is that it's difficult to show this considering we don't have access to criston's thoughts in a tv format, so after ep 4 aired i was pretty squicked out but decided to reserve judgment until we got to witness the fallout. and ooh boy what a fallout it was

when rhaenyra refuses his offer to flee to essos, there is literally no sign of heartbreak on criston's part (and i never got the impression that either criston or rhaenyra harboured any romantic feelings for one another, they seemed very friendly). instead, he's upset because he realizes rhaenyra initiated and pressed for sex when she didn't truly value him. for him, love is the one thing that might have surpassed the importance of his vows, and when he realizes rhaenyra doesn't actually feel that way about him -- that she put him in a situation where he felt pressured to taint the sanctity of his kingsguard station even though he told her it was the highest honour ever bestowed upon him or his house -- he stops deluding himself into believing that he feels that way about her too. that's why his dialogue in that scene explicitly spells out "i thought All That could have been worth it but clearly i mean nothing to you" instead of "my love and devotion was all for naught :(" (moreover, she refuses his offer by talking about her duty and her obligations, after undermining his, like, the night before. i'm sure he appreciated that lol)

i really think that scene on the ship was the moment the writers could have recontextualized for us whether their encounter was criston giving into long-held attraction or criston being violated (and subsequently doing his best to cope), and nothing about it gave me any reason to believe it was the first. (he felt immense gratitude towards her, sure, but that only intensifies the power imbalance)

so the issue is that post-episode 5, criston is bitter and resentful towards the woman who effectively coerced him into sex -- and he is villainized for it! (like that scene where he called rhaenyra a cunt... seriously? of course no one should be using that word offensively in reference to a woman, but how many times has daemon called women -- who have done nothing to him btw -- gross things only for every character who heard to ignore it?) it's the same deal with the madonna-whore complex they've attempted to show. i take serious issue with extrapolating that criston actually hates all women who are sexually promiscuous because of his feelings towards a woman with whom he had an awful experience (that, if it were up to him, never would have happened). it should be noted that the only woman aside from alicent and rhaenyra he's interacted with is the prostitute in 1.09, and he was perfectly polite with her. of course he has strict ideas about what rules women should abide by, but these strict ideas are not limited to the opposite sex. he's even more harsh with himself to the point where he nearly commits suicide when he breaks his personal code.

the other major part of his characterization that i hated after ep 5 is that he's been turned into, like... a dumb thug?? (also why does everyone behind the scenes describe him as a thug. that word for him bothers me a lot.) i'm specifically referring to criston in ep 9, which was supposed to be his crowning moment (pun not intended, but you know, he becomes the kingmaker!!) and ended up being a huge letdown. he randomly wanted beesbury to sit down and applied such force to the action that beesbury died over it, he drew his sword on the commander of the kingsguard because of an insult, and his scene with alicent where she mentions what he feels for her did somewhat give the impression that she was using him. (olivia cooke has since talked about that scene and i don't think that was intended. which is a common theme)

i can't really figure out a way to reconcile 1.09 criston with earlier criston, but the biggest problem here is that he hasn't been given enough screen time for the character to be fleshed out and have too many consistent character traits. he's shown the ability to be calculating (like when he provoked harwin into beating him up which resulted in the bastard allegations spreading), but he's also prone to emotional outbursts (though prior to 1.09 i would have just said killing joffrey in 1.05 was a one-time breakdown). he's definitely not supposed to be a blind dog that follows orders -- he immediately refuses when alicent asks him for the eye of lucerys -- but in 1.09 he lashed out at westerling for saying a bad word against her. (if there was more time devoted to his relationship with alicent, i think the green council scene would have played much better.) i'm not entirely sure what the writers are trying to achieve with him.

my impression of criston on the whole is he's a guy who deeply values his honour because it's what got him out of a period of his life when he was undisciplined and floundering (he mentions to rhaenyra that he had a wild youth in 1.03) and helped him, the son of a steward, rise to the position of kinsguard. but, that being said, his sense of honour is pretty unconventional. that's why we have him attacking daemon from behind in the tourney in 1.01, but only after daemon already used a dirty trick to beat gwayne hightower. that's why he is content following the orders of the green council in 1.09 -- because unlike harold westerling, who requires the king to be present -- criston is not doing any of it for aegon (the official monarch they’re attempting to install). he's doing it for alicent. alicent showed him mercy, alicent saved his life, alicent is the embodiment of the mother, alicent has ruled over the realm competently for some 6 years -- and he sees all of that and trusts her and really does think her leadership would be best! i generally just really like the characters in the asoiafverse who struggle with concepts like knighthood and honour, and i appreciate that from the get-go criston has been someone who makes the rules for himself.

so yeah he's so neat to me and i love him. also his little family unit with alicent and her kids is EVERYTHING. i'm desperately hoping and praying that we get more screen time and focus for him in the second season but i won't hold my breath </3

(also... super interesting that most of criston's scenes next season will probably be with aemond! i'm honestly extremely upset that the gang is splitting up already, but i really liked the chemistry between ewan and fabien in 1.09 so i am excited to see more of that!!)

#sorry i responded so late btw ive been very busy </3 #asks #criston cole #house of the dragon #anti rhaenyra #<- not rly i feel like i'm just saying it how it is but just in case #anti hotd

23 notes · View notes

agvhell · 2 years

Text

Giant!Shuichi Headcanons

Oh god this is like the fastest and less edited writing i’ve ever wrote holy shit-

Anyways, here’s some giant!Shuichi headcanons as promised (It’s not a lot, I know, but it’s the only thing i could come up with til now)

Warning: If you do not know what Danganronpa (V3) is, i suggest you not to read this (contains mention of death/execution/killing ) AND this contains huge spoilers for the game (esp chapter 1)

also I still haven’t entirely finished watching the game’s playthrough, so sorry if something here is written wrong according to canon.

- after Kaede's death, as promised, the other's get a punishment too, for not finding who the real culprit is; and the punishment is for Shuichi(since his problem will cause problems for others as well) to slowly grow to a gigantic sized human in the class trial.

- he feels sudden pain in his kneecap (caused by the growth ray ill explain what it is in the continue of the HCS) and he then starts growing.

- everyone start freaking out as Shuichi himself panics too, since he doesn't know why his eyes' distance with the floor grows further and further without a warning; though his head doesn't hit the ceiling and the era around him and his classmates doesn't get cramped for neither him nor his classmates, he feels dizzy and crashed under the confused and scared gaze of the other students, the pain in his body caused by the sudden and huge growth, and the anxiety feeling in his guts.

- after his growth is done, both him and the others are confused but Monokuma says that the class trial is over and they should get out; Kaito tries to start a fight with Monokuma since he thinks he is the reason why Shuichi suddenly grew (well yes but no, Tsumigi shoot shuichi w/ a growth ray when no one was looking since all of them were horrified by Kaede's execution), but Maki and Kiibo stop him from doing so.

- Tsumigi actually does this as a motive for the next murder attend(s) too; Well obviously her plan fails since Shuichi has no interest in killing any of his classmates.

-Shuichi doesn't show it, but sometimes he thinks about how his family and friends from the outside world would react to his new towering size; Will they disown him? Will they act like he is some sort of a monster, or rather a beast? Will they even give him a chance to explain what has happened to him? All these frightening thoughts, rarely give him mid night panic attacks and he don't know weather he can vent to his close remaining friends about it.

-As a normal sized, Shuichi usually avoids conversations and communication since he is introverted a lot; And as giant, his avoidant increases just as much as his height has increased. Although he doesn't mind being comforted b his close friends (Like Kaito and Maki, but mostly Kaito since he is the Ultimate Therapist and a Bro to Shuichi), thus he fears he might hurt them, so he usually keeps a distance between him and others.

-Now that he is a giant and can't even fit his arm through a door, he usually gets help from Kiibo when it comes to investigations; How? Kiibo and Shuichi asked Miu to install a filming function on Kiibo; Although when Miu was going to install the program, she realized there's already a filming function installed in Kiibo's eyes, so all she had to do was to connect Kiibo's filming function to a monitor so when Kiibo investigates something, Shuichi can see it through the monitor; Miu also installed a function on the monitor so Kiibo and Shuichi can communicate with each other during an investigation.

-The first person Shuichi gets to be around after his sudden growth is Kiibo; Since he is a robot and there's less chance of him getting hurt then the other students. Kiibo on the other hand tries to assist any sort of help to Shuichi, and Shuichi is grateful about it.

-Kaito is the second person Shuichi would trust himself with him (probably not because Kaito doesn't care whether Shuichi wants him to be around or not since he wants to comfort his friend in any way possible lmao). He sometimes brings up the fact about just how tall Shuichi has gotten and jokes about that he can totally reach the moon with just raising his hand up; It eases Shuichi to see how his friend doesn't seem to see him as a dangerous monster or something.

-When Shuichi grew to a giant, Tenko was terrified; She literally tried to get all the women in the class behind her to protect them while shouting "YOU F*CKING MALES!" because she thought Shuichi was going to hurt them; And in confusion, Shuichi tried to reach for his classmates behind Tenko's back causing her to become more feral (thankfully after that everyone realized that Shuichi has no intension of hurting anyone).

-Kokichi will try every single opportunity possible to freak the hell out Saihara; Fake crying about how Shuichi hurt him, giving him heart attacks and scaring him to death; Although after a few times of lying Shuichi doesn't fall for it anymore, but it doesn't stop the panta boy from making up crazy and unbelievable lies.

aand thats it for now lol, i know gtronpa fandom is probably dead, but damn i enjoy writing gtronpa

#gtronpa #g/t #giant tiny #danganronpa g/t #giant shuichi #giant!shuichi #drv3

34 notes · View notes

softluci · 2 years

Text

this is for beyonce enjoyers ONLY

[the rest of yall can stand guard or smth idk but u have to be #REAL to consume this piece of media!]

i just wanted to come on here and let y'all know that mammon has actually had virgo's groove on repeat since it dropped and no one in the devildom has had a single ounce of peace. he fully believes he is beyonce's chosen. he refuses to listen to reason. he really needed this win. if it helps, there are intermittent bursts of energy and break my soul. but you're gonna have to give him a few more weeks before he listens to anything else. his vibe is unkillable right now, sorry to say.

while i'm here, i would also like to inform everyone that barbatos has not turned the album off at all; he actually keeps it on a loop for emotional, moral, spiritual, and physical support, something that only beyonce can provide in these trying times. solomon and asmo tried to invite him to their private listening party but he has a ritual every time beyonce releases and he needs to perform it by himself. his favorite is "america has a problem" because that's exactly how he tells dia, "no." ;; he actually cannot rank the rest of the album, do not ever ask him for a second favorite. it's alien superstar. category: sex-y Bitch, HE'S THE BAR! [bonus: when he realized That Man wasn't on the album, he actually opened a bottle of demonus just for himself.]

so the opening monologue in alien superstar actually plays in lucifer's head whenever he gets ready. that's just true. he listens to beyonce holding herself in the Highest regard and applies it to himself because who's gonna tell him it doesn't apply. he IS that girl, MOVE! speaking of move, that's his second favorite song off the album. something about "move move move move, yeah you gotta move move—" really speaks to him [because that's what he thinks as he's walking literally anywhere with a lot of people. if he doesn't know anything at all he knows every1 better move out his way!]

dia's favorite is move as well because . he's the Prince . it is engrained into devildom customs that everyone has to move out of his way. as far as he's concerned ms carter made that song for him. and when she says "me and my girlfriends, came out to play" ? do not. do Not. that line is about him, lucifer and barb like WHAT. [bonus: his second favorite song is cuff it because he luvs a little feel good song, esp one about a night on the TOWN! also he sings "can i sit on top of you" directly to lucifer it's true it's- [GUNSHOTS]

levi won't admit it but he did listen to the album in private because he understands that he would be the worst kind of loser if he refused to listen to beyonce. his number one is cozy because singing it to himself enough does help him feel a little more comfortable being himself it's chrew it's the feel good beyonce effect! his second favorite is virgo's groove, but he thinks virgos absolutely did not deserve it. if he's being honest, barb deserved it; it should've been leo's groove, and he'll say it whenever he gets the chance but he still shakes ass trust and believe that.

satan's favorite is thique. don't ask him questions about it, her lower register does something to him mentally. his second favorite is he listened to the album on his own as well, and called barbatos as soon as he was done, just to say, "she's done it again." and the two of them met up immediately to listen to it together [they've been doing this since self-titled]. barb had him practice his club dancing again. [no, i'm never gonna let that go because why is barb such a menace and sexy abt it like MOVE!]

asmo has not let go of alien superstar or pure/honey. he refuses to turn them off. beyonce said "category: sex-y bitch, i'm the bar" and it was like she planted something in his brain. that woman said "bad bitches, to the left. money bitches, to the right. you could be both, meet in the middle, dance all night." and it was like she took half of his soul and bottled it to keep. he has a favorite song for every single scenario; alien superstar for when he's getting ready for school, pure/honey for when he's getting ready to go Out, thique for when he's getting ready to go see solomon -

so belphie heard "MOVE OUT DE WEY" and sat up in bed. like i was there and i watched it happen. beel can confirm because he was also at the listening party. he hasn't turned this album off either, quiet as he keeps it. it's all he plays in his headphones; he really does think beyonce laced it with something and that he's been enchanted [made worse by the fact that he does not care that he hasn't listened to anything else in weeks].

beel was actually eating during the listening party [so he could be in top form for beyonce] and then "flip-flop, flippy, flip-floppin' ass BITCH!" actually made him stop chewing. belphie can confirm. he is also very partial to thique because . come on . come On. he keeps thique, pure/honey, heated, and alien superstar on a loop whenever he works out; he has no room for anything else it's true. something about "all my pretty boys to the floor," "category: sex-y bitch, i'm the bar" and "ass gettin' bigger" really just . does something to him when he's in the weight room. no one has come within 20 feet of him while he works out since this album dropped.

solomon's favorite is all up in your mind. yes he thinks about lucifer whenever he plays it, which is 10 times a day. you know, he really just . feels like ms carter was reaching out to him with that one, like she knew what he goes through every day with lucifer because, really . all he wants to do is be in lucifer's mind and lucifer barely gives him the time of day >:[ . [bonus: solomon's second fave is move; asmo saw his eyes when beyonce said "me and my girlfriends, came out to play" and can confirm that move legitimately turned solomon into a pure-blooded demon for the duration of that line]

simeon's favorite is plastic off the sofa </3 . i literally don't even wanna write any notes like everything speaks for itself u just have to feel it to get it. no but he really likes her softer songs it's true he told me; he likes to listen to it on a loop while he cleans and makes dinner. [bonus: he was the last person to listen to the album [listened two days after drop], so mammon sent him church girl and told him he'd like it, as an incentive to make him listen to all of it. simeon was . Not expecting a song called church girl to sound like that, but it's his second favorite song on the album . don't tell mammon . his third favorite is virgo's groove. Do Not Tell Mammon .]

bonus : if you share a favorite song with any of these men it means your souls are holding hands. so if u share a top song with anyone other than your favorite man it's time to reconsider who your favorite man is

bonus bonus: luke is not allowed to listen to this album because it is for grown people. luke actually isn't allowed to listen to anything that doesn't have a kids version. he isn't even allowed to listen to single ladies yall it's bad 4 him!

#obey me headcanons #obey me mammon #obey me barbatos #obey me lucifer #obey me #obey me dia #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me imagines

17 notes · View notes

boeing747 · 2 years

Note

There was an article she tweeted on Twitter that said gender neutral language was going to be the death of the term woman. AFAIK that's all that's happened, and Margaret Atwood has been publicly supportive of trans rights since. To me it reads as an instance of someone well meaning but ignorant of a topic, but that's ultimately for people to draw their own conclusions on.

yeah thats all i see and with what i can see there isn't really any need to accuse her of like genuine outright bigotry esp bc she does a lot of really pretty good feminist thought in her writing as much as i really fucking hated handmaids tale when i read it in highschool lmfao. i feel like there is a distinct difference in feminism that forces us to contemplate the standing of "biologically female" bodies in society and the real genuine societal problems surrounding that (and none of these can really be said to exclusively affect ciswomen, but generalization is still if not necessary at least useful, and people can overgeneralize trans women out of the equations which is bad but ignorance doesn't necessarily confirm any negative intent :shrug:) and the like white nationalist fueled anti-trans bigotry horseshit that terfs peddle

18 notes · View notes

udon-udon · 2 years

Text

so lately since i’ve been playing runescape a lot and taking a break/not really wanting to draw cause im down with covid, i’ve been feeling a lot of guilt like “udon if you have the time to play runescape, you should be using that time to finish those art prints and draw instead!!!” and because of that it reminded me of other art friends/artists that still draw while sick etc cause they’re working hard and always grinding. So i’m basically comparing myself to other artists.

TL;DR:

- udon feels guilty for playing runescape all day and not using that time to finish art prints/draw (even though shes down sick with covid), - comparing apples to oranges, - worrying about what other people think of her because she’s not grinding art as much as other people who do art professionally/full time are, -needs to stop self sabotaging and learn to value herself more.

my friend then mentioned: if grinding art doesnt make you happy, then you shouldnt do it, it’ll just burn you out.

yes that sentence logically makes sense

but my brain keeps thinking: “ i dont WANT to grind art, but seeing everyone else grind art all the time makes me feel like im not doing ENOUGH and im not GOOD enough and im not working hard enough and that i NEED to be grinding and other grinding artists are gonna look down on me!!!!”

and of course the counter to that is: other artists that ARE grinding are wanting to do art full time/go professional kind of thing and it doesnt make sense to put those standards on myself when im doing art as just a hobby.

WHICH IS SOMETHING I ALREADY KNOW. I’ve told myself so many times that I’m doing art as just a hobby/side thing, and i should not and stop comparing myself to others that are pursuing it full time/professionally. But I can’t stop comparing for whatever reason. Is it because i have a lot of friends/know a lot of artists that are constantly on the grind/pursuing art full time? esp on twitter?

my friend then mentions: 1. they wouldnt look down on u 2. why does their view of you matter to you, like whether or not they look down or look up to you do you really feel that it would change anything

why DOES point #2 matter so much? why do others’ view of me matter so fucking much? (okay yes its only natural to be wary of what others think of me, but why do i let it affect me so much?) I feel like (well rather I KNOW) that i deep down have an inferiority complex (that has continuously gotten worse over the past 2 years i feel due to a certain life event), and i dont want people to look down on me/think badly of me/not doing good enough/not worthy enough. and it’s not even about my art style or wtvr, its about my WORK HABIT/WORK ETHIC/MY OWN IMAGE.

my friend then mentions that there are artists that put out art every day/very frequently, but there are also other artists that posts once in a blue moon, but you wouldn’t think any less of them or think they have a shitty work ethic right?

which makes me realize that yes that is true, i wouldnt think any less of them. and that all this conundrum and worrying is just me doing mental gymnastics voluntarily and self-sabotaging and creating all these problems that aren’t even there, thanks to my inferiority complex and worry about what people think of me. in turn making me feel art is making me feel suffocated cause im not having fun doing it anymore thanks to all that ^

all in all: I’m basing my worth on what other people think of me. And i need to stop that. for real. i’ve always just drew whatever i wanted and whenever i wanted (though definitely more frequently in my younger years) and i still do! . I need to just... enjoy drawing because i want to draw, not because i’m worried that if i dont im gonna look bad for not grinding all the damn time. I have a full time job outside of art. i also need to stop being so hard on myself and value myself more? and i guess, love myself more lol

#personal #not really sad post more like a... self reflection post #i have clarity for now but i hope this clarity will last

3 notes · View notes

twigwing · 1 year

Note

tell me about sally

SALLY IS ACTUALLY UNFORTUNATELY A BIT OF A BLIND SPOT FOR ME cuz i haven't watched a lot of AoStH or SatAM and haven't read a lot of the Archie comics... at her best, she's super cool though! she was used uhhhhh Poorly for most of archie's run, just acting as A Girl for sonic (and sometimes other male characters) to "win" or "lose" (rugh.) and... generally being misunderstood and mistreated by the men writing her (the team that came after the "original batch" of writers had their own problems writing characters esp women too but that's a whole other thing i again don't have too much authority on since i've read a series of VERY random archie issues over the past 12 years, mostly from the Tracy Yardley era and Sonic Universe actually lol)

at her core though, sally has always been that kind of "kick-ass royalty" type you get out of girls in media from the time period. active member of the cast, smart, funny, cool, realistic when needed, kindhearted but not foolish, a little exasperated by Oh You Boys. she's also always been sonic's girlfriend/love interest, which i feel like some people aren't aware of and think sonally is just from archie? they're if not outright dating just very comfortable and flirtatious with each other (they're childhood friends!) in SatAM. i actually had a couple episodes on again while doing dishes recently and there was a scene where sonic and sally kiss and their friends are just like standing around waiting for them to stop LMFAO

uhh i put images in here and they made the post really long so i'm gonna put a break

i know even Less about AoStH sally... apparently they're officially dating according to the SNN? also, she's pink, and i hate it

SHE LOOKS SO MUCH MORE GIRLNAKED IN PINK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i do love that she's naked though. pave the way for clothesless female animal chracters girl... a legend... an icon.... unfortunately an icon who was slowly given clothes to hide her Heinous Female Form (i'm joking) over time

for the longest time she just had this little vest though still chest out. go girl go. the little vest was sooo Gender to me as a kid. also her archie eyebrows!!

as sad as i am that they covered her up, i do think her post-reset archie outfit is super cool!!!

i take a lot of cues from this sally as well as the Sonic Riders design ethos when dressing my own sonic ocs actually! she's so sporty and fun, i love her. her bright red hair is really nice too, imo. she lost her eyebrows though :(

her archie designs.... oooo she is suuuuuuuch a little gender envy sapphic to me LMFAO. bi legend...

i feel like moooost people know this by now but sallicole... it is Real... they couldn't make it real real for real for real but god these girls...

their designs look good together i feel... <3

mmmm i forget what the point was. but yeah, unfortunately i don't know much about sally's use in canon/spinoff material... but what i've seen of her i really like (other than the royalty thing though, i don't like sonic(the character)'s world having a rigid political system especially one based on royalty sorry LMFAO. it's weird!! and also enabled a lot of wack writing for sally in archie!!!) she's a really fun character when written well and given a proper role, and i think she's a really neat companion for sonic (not necessarily romantic... their dynamic is really fun when it isn't bogged down by boring love triangles, they bounce off each other well). i think the idea of sonic having a childhood friend like sally is really neat, especially when you add tails to that history. weird little misfit friendfamily

unfortunately, sally probably won't ever be used officially again. i know the IDW team especially Ian Flynn really want to... but if they did, they wouldn't ever be the same as they were before due to the agonies sadly, and IDW does have a good amount of characters similar to sally now (though i will NEVER say no to more cool girls. in fact give me more. outnumber the cool boys, i demand it). but still! it'd be neat to see her in action in official material again. for now though, she and the rest of the freedom fighters are at narrative rest

but sally still remains a beloved part of the fandom! i still see fanart of her, and i see fans remixing current storylines and putting her and the other freedom fighters back into the cast. i'm glad that at least she hasn't been forgotten

#twigpost #sonic #dragonomatopoeia #long post

0 notes

halliescomut · 1 year

Text

The Eclipse Episodes 10 & 11

WARNING: Spoilers! Like duh, but like there's a TWIST I did not see coming. Also, shit got real serious between these two episodes so...there's a lot less funny here.

Okay, so I definitely watched episode 10. I remember fucking nothing. It seems that Chadok is definitely a shit bag. And we find out that Ayan's uncle was also a teacher at Suppalo, one that Akk really looked up to.

The scene where Akk puts together everything and realizes that this teacher he cared about is actually dead, fucking heartbreaking y'all. I am still enjoying the sweetness with Akk and Aye. But I'm also still confused about whatever this curse is supposed to be.

No jokes for episode 10 because nothing made an impression. (Okay I have one joke, but it's kind of in poor taste, but I'll give it to you. I work in a small office, me and one other person. I was watching on my tablet at work, but I didn't have headphones, so it was just playing. My coworker asked what Chadok's fucking problem was when she saw him yelling at Akk. My response was "he's mad because the kid isn't being Hitler Youth-ey enough". This is not entirely incorrect, but it is in poor taste.)

God Akk fully working out how he's been used to hold up this fucked up system, well now I'm crying. Their discussion in bed and Aye wanting kisses, so sweet but also the STRESS on Akk.

Thua did do a bad thing! Like it's 'ehhh' because like he's not lying, but Akk is supposed to be his friend. And if your friend's being shitty you should say something, but like maybe don't call them out in front of your whole school. I feel bad for Handsome boy. Also, public outing of Akk, definitely not cool, esp. since Thua is fully aware of the ramifications of it.

Props to movie boy for quick thinking, but like the whole outing situation sucks. I do also appreciate the lady teacher saying she'll stand up for the protesting students. I was worried about her kowtowing to the pressure since she's a new teacher.

Poor Akk crying, he needs the hug from Aye. 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭. No not friends fighting.

Aye confronting Chadok. That's unexpected and expected at the same time.

Oh my GOD!!!! Why the fuck has Chadok been acting like this the whole time!!!! Oh I do not want to like Chadok, but these actors are giving their all here. I'm so fucking sad right now. So the headmistress is the villain, that solves why Chadok was scared of her. 😭😭😭😭😭 This is so fucking sad.

Everyone needs a hug, except that headmistress lady who needs a swift kick in the ass..

Okay maybe Thua also needs a boot to the ass. Some good intentions, but dude at the expense of your friends??? That's close to a Killmonger style villain, jeez, but he also didn't murder anyone so like it's hard to just shove him into a villain category.

Okay I gotta break some tension. Handsome boy asks what he should do to Thua. My thought: Thua should say "Why don't you kiss me about it." It's not gonna solve problems but if I've learned anything from KinnPorsche it's "if you can't beat the enemy, then maybe fuck them (you know, just in case that works)". But also Handsome boy is now Sad Handsome boy. 🥺

What is this suspicious weird kid always in Akk's business. Now I'm fucking worried he's going to fuck shit up. I do think that making Akk and Aye star in this short film is fun.

Okay that's kind of the end of the episode, so onto the finale, which will be a separate post.

#the eclipse series #the eclipse episode 10 #the eclipse episode 11 #well that was a goddamn rollercoaster of emotions #i am struggling #everyone needs a hug #me included

1 note · View note

akane171 · 2 years

Text

Nooooo😰😰🙈 I didn't and wouldn't 😰🙈 Honestly, kinda thought I might have finally annoyed you enough or you're just busy🤷🏻‍♀️🙈 Sorry🙈 I really didn't think the Tumblr Secretary would start erasing messages to you, too🙈🙈

Haha, yes, very smart of you😊🙈

Only one sushi restaurant?😯 Huh, amazing... Tho admittedly, I haven't eaten it either (yet?)😅😂

😂😂😂 Understandably😂😂

...Possessed? I just wanted to become FRIENDS with demons...😶🙈 But ohh, the more I think about it, the cooler getting possessed and being able to just take a backseat from life is starting to sound 😉😉😂😂

😂😂 "dumb fucks" 😂😂😂

...I doubt it, but okay... Tho I can't shut my cake if I don't have any cake?🤔😉😂😂😂

😂😂 Ohh, this reminds me of a clip from a concert where Brendon Urie "introduced" a song by explaining how his Mom likes it when he curses and proceeds to swear "like fuck and shit and ass and bitch and dick and balls and goddammit" perfectly in rhythm😂😂😂

Awww, they go to a restaurant?😍😍☺ Okay, Yeah, I'm definitely reading those when I have some real time to read again😍🙈😂

Well, I guess he really WAS A replacement for Winn and Mon... And they did kinda jam Winn's brilliance with Mon's space-puppy alien-ness into one in Brainy's character from the little bit I've seen of Post S3😅🙈 And yup, last scene sucked...🙄

Maybe they really just didn't like Kara as a character...😖😫

Haha, yess, and just imagine all the other lines they could use!😍 Oh, btw, I remembered the original bad chemistry pick-up line I came up with, it went like this: "Are you a catalyst? Cause you certainly always get me started" 😂😂🤣🤣 Oh, or imagine this: "Are you an exothermic reaction? Cause you are hot"🤣🤣🤣 Oh, oh, or back to an English Literature pick-up line: "Are you my zero focalizer? Cause I feel like you know me inside out, more so than even I myself do"😅🤣🤣🤦🏻‍♀️ And ohhh, their students shipping and trying to set them up would be GOLDEN!😍😍😍😍

yup, they could definitely learn a Lot from each other🤔 And HAHAHAHA, sounds accurate, esp. since Max is probably absolutely doing it on purpose cause he doesn't like Kara and no way in hell does he want his baby brother fraternizing with her😉😉🤣🤣 But hey, Karamel can hope Sam ships them and keeps Max away so they can spend time together🤔🤔 Oh god, Max and Cat? That's quite terrifying and amusing, not sure if that pair would be a good idea tho if they don't want the Multiverse to end😅 Ohhhh, Max and Cat fighting over Mon and Kara would be GOLDEN😂😂😂 Just imagine the arguments about 😂😂😂 Poor Sam&Eve who will have to deal with THAT chaos tho😅🙈

Samesies☺🙈 Sorr, again about the confusion😰🙈🙈🙈

PS: 🤣🤣🤣 Why do I feel like she might murder me for telling you about this?🤣🤣😅🙈🙈

PS2: Oh, you mean the ones from the Musical? If you mean those, then yess, I did😍😍😍😁😁🤗 (Thanks to you actually🤣🤣😉) At first I thought that style looked kinda weird, but the more I see it, the better it looks on him🤔😂 (Tho short haired him with a little bit longer stubble still is his best look IMO🤔🙈🤷🏻‍♀️)

XXX

Oh cool, so we are both in the "I'm afraid I annoyed that person too much and she/he has enough of me" xD

Also, you suck Tumblr Secretary!!!

Girl, I live in a 12k people town, the fact have one good sushi restaurant is like a miracle. No Chinese restaruants, btw.

But I kind of miss my friends, some classes and almost no responsibilities xD

...now you sound like Stephen King and I'm starting to get really worried about your storylines =='

What? Sad facts. And the fact they rule so many societies from the backseat is even sadder

Cake HOLE, HOLE, ok?! I forgot to add it. But you can always BUY some cake and problem solved! Even better, you can shut your mouth on the cake and be forever happy!!!!

lol, I guess his mom was very proud? x'D

DO IT!!!!!

And i guess that annoyed me so much, becasue here we were, once again with the same charatcer just in a different body. The scene when he prepared bed breakfast for Nia and tried to be a perfect boyfriend and i was just rolling my eyes so hard I saw the insides of my skull. And the fact is they totally ignored his comic book canon. I get why they didn't make him LI for Kara and make him and Nia a thing, but the rest? He's an idiot? 12th level genius? Where?

That or they had no idea what to do with her character. Aside of the fact they made her just Kal's clone with longer hair, ignored her whole comic book canon that makes her different and special, they had no plan for her character development. I feel they later just fell in love with their human charatcers they made (aka Alex and Walmart Witch) and deeloped them, while ignoring Kara. The titular hero. UGH

One of the reasons why the humanphilia pissed me soo much in this show :/

I see you liked the idea xD Add Eve as sex ed teacher, Winn as IT, Alex PE and biology?, Nia something with English, Brainiac math, Lobotomizer physics, John history, Lex the principal, Kelly as the school psychologist. Plus, dunno, M'gann, Cat, William, Imra, Sam, Siobbhan, and other bad guys as bad teachers xD Could be a fun fic xD

Or even better, imagine Cat promoting Kara as CatCo's superhero, while Max promotting Mon-El as Valor as his company and both them fighting which is better, while Kara and Mon-Elbeing done with them, and one day just openly, in fromt of cameras making out to make them shut up. LOL

No prob, not your fault!

PS She probably will, sorry! xD

PS2: yes, same. He really digs that look. I think I liked most his Kai-back-from-the-dead look and s3 Mon-El, when he was wearing black Legion uniform. This or that, I'm aroace but I seriously think he is aesthetically very hot and handsome. Lucky Melissa xD

Stay safe!

#ReFail #my fam

0 notes

remarkable-ghost · 4 years

Text

Me trying to figure out the reason I can’t get out of bed today

***if u know me irl pls just don’t address me on this. I literally have two other blogs, but one is aesthetic and the other is like big emo but also a particular aesthetic so BOO it’s going on my everything blog so BOO!

#I’ve been having bad dreams for the past few nights or just not sleeping well :(#I think the biggest cause is just procrastination for important things like making doctors appts doing Fulbright and doing essay/hw #those take up so much space in my mind but literally makes me feel so sick I don’t do it #executive dysfunction who? my counselor called it self sabotage because... ya #I recognized it yesterday too while talking with a friend #anyways so feelings lots of anger and frustration because I LITERALLY UNDERSTAND THIS ABOUT MYSELF #I AM AWARE I AM MAKING BAD DECISIONS? hOW DO I JUST STOP? HOW DO I JUST START TO DO THE THING IM SUPPOSED TO DO?#I told my significant other yesterday that like... if I could take adder all I would just to do the shit I gots to do... just once!#but my friend who actually TAKES adderall was like... that won’t work. it’ll work maybe one time if that and then you’re do it over again #like I was telling her that like when I face problems I just come up with solutions instead of face the problem #example pass/fail for a class... and she was like u could but what about next semester when you’re stuck again?#it’s really making me think back to high school when I struggled with the same thing #back then I was always like ‘just wait till you graduate’ esp senior year. like I majorly fell back. yikes #and im scared it’s happening again and I’m just watching it happen instead of doing anything to stop it #also I’m doing half of the right things? on meds. seeing a counselor.#but the self compassion is so hard especially when everyone’s world got flipped upside because #partially because COVID but shit has been real rough for my fam since 2019 let alone 2020 #anyways I see myself regressing a lot and I’m upset and my dreams keep going back to high school and people I knew n what I wanna say to ‘em #it’s kinda to the point where I think about like dropping out a lot again or using or harming/ideation so like big yikes! we struggling lads #ghost rants

5 notes · View notes

666bone · 6 years

Text

#ik im literally always talking to myself on here but i have a whole 2 friends & i feel guilty always talking abt myself #for 1 pal we not Really that close bc we havent done a real talk like very lowkey real talks #& the other pal ive known since kindergarten & knows almost everythng abt me but she got Issues™ & i dont want 2 trigger her & also i panic #when ppl (esp irl) kno a lot abt me so i dont tell her quite a bit #but ok anyway #last night when i was hanging out w that one pal from high schoool it was really nice and i really missed him but i think im just in a swing #bc like 2 days ago i was really mad @ him #but now im content & full of love smdh #he had a real bad coke problem last year and he has new scars on his arm and we always vibed real well bc we had ?? that sense of #understanding & hes honestly ?? the only male i know that calls out his male friends on their ignorant/bigoted bullshit #like when i told him i got that 1 dude kicked out of the club bc he was harassing me & my pals he was like #'shit im sorry you had to deal with that im glad youre alright and that you got the creep kicked out'#which was ??? really nice to hear bc when i told 2 of my other male acquaintances abt it they didnt really care or joked that i ruined that #guys night like...........shit what abt my night man that guy waas 6'5 and im fucking 5'2 and NOBODY wa doing anything to help me #if anything he ruined my fukin night god damn #like ik its lame ~praising~ guys for not being complete garbage but....its nice & its validating & i never get validated so lemme have this #ok #he said he could hook me up w his dealer and im very tempted but ik if i do im going to blow all my savings and go on a bender & be dead #in a few months #like on 1 hand = nice #& then my fukin wise mind is like 'u fukin dumb shit can you Calm down For ONNCE in yr gotdamn life'#anyway im crying again why i gotta be like this smdh #also im still fat & im going to visit the fam in mexico on the 22nd & im still fat and i dont want to wear shorts or a fucking swim suit #i cant do that i dont want to do that #i hate going down there i hate it #so obviously i gotta lose @ least 10lbs b4 i go there #last time i was there it was during 1 of my Episodes™#& was horribly depressed and regularly not in touch w reality & its really embarrassing #& i dont want 2 go again #i love mexico & the culture & everything abt it but my family..................ruins it lol i cant do it they make me want 2 die

3 notes · View notes

mymarifae · 2 years

Note

i took like 5 benadryl to help me get sleepy so now i’m getting those Sleepytime Images and i knew i’d need to share this one w u bc it involves ur epic girlboss giselle so here we go:

i kno u mentioned how toriel and giselle have a very tense relationship and how kris and berdly dating Might pose some problems for giselle so just. imagine if you will. kris and berdly decide to go to the sadie hawkmans dance (or prom or whatever big dance of ur choice) like As A Thing. not just as friends but like. yknow. Going Together. and giselle’s happy on one hand bc ohhh her little boy is growing up he has a date!!!!! but on the other hand she’s like ah fuck. now i ACTUALLY have to talk to toriel (not for like. permission or anything. but esp w a big dance u gotta like coordinate outfits and meeting times and who’s taking pictures at What House—idk i went to prom alone but i remember this being a thing for a lot of my friends in relationships)

so she decides to be the mature adult abt things and invites toriel and kris over to her house for dinner (w berdly there of course). and Oh My God does it go poorly. shit is just AWKWARD right off the bat like giselle will try a joke and it just Does Not Land w toriel and so she just has to laugh it off while thinking “jesus christ is this how asgore feels???” like idk i don’t think toriel holds active animosity but i’m sure whatever lore u have for them both means toriel isn’t giselle’s biggest fan. esp w seeing berdly being so emotionally shut-in and independent. and it’s awkward for berdly and kris too bc they want this dinner to Work bc they want their parents to Like Each Other so things aren’t Weird but they’re also not rlly sure how to help??? and also they’re just nervous in general bc now the parent of their partner is here in the room w them so they both must be on their best behavior

this is mostly bc i’m picturing a dinner scene a la shrek 2 and i think it is so real it hurts. it’s made even better by the thought that giselle is probably so not used to cooking big meals since she mostly orders out (or berdly cooks for himself—he’s actually pretty good) so the cooking scene is a nightmare and it rlly colors the dinner scene So Well. by the end of the night things do get better tho. i think giselle and toriel sit w wine while the two kids play video games in berdlys room and they talk abt life and being single moms and giselle gets like. rlly honest?? which is New for her. and toriel can tell she means well and rlly is taking big leaps in being a strong presence in berdlys life so they forge a kind of bond. maybe a friendship! maybe not. up to u honestly it’s ur character i just like playing in the space and had to share :-)

eating a salad rn and the shrek 2 bit made me inhale a piece of lettuce because every time i think of that scene i think about this specifically now

so i was just imagining giselle spinning around in her office chair - that she for some bizarre reason decided to bring to the dinner table instead of sitting in a normal chair - while toriel glares daggers and kris and berdly watch in awkward silence. and it killed me

ANYWAY IT'S FUNNY YOU BRING THIS UP because i was actually thinking about the same scenario. berdly actually didn't tell giselle he was going to the dance with kris as a Date at first, because just. habit of not talking to her about important things. and then he belatedly remembers they're on better terms so he tells her, awkwardly, and he's like BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT OR ANYTHING, it's just a silly little dance.

much to his despair, giselle does make a big deal about it and she's like pestering him with questions about what he's going to wear, what kris is going to wear, are you two coordinating??? you two better be coordinating-- by this point she's known they were dating but if they're serious enough to go to the dance together, aka something that is really not up either of their alleys AT ALL,

maybe she should do that thing she's been putting off for a while now. talking to toriel. establishing just a bit of common ground with her. and so Dinner

toriel doesn't hold active animosity at all !! it's more so something giselle has fostered like - SHE responded to toriel with unnecessary hostility and toriel was like ok that's the game we're playing...?? basically toriel reached out to her a long time ago, when berdly was in her elementary class, because she had concerns about giselle's parenting and was worried she was letting work eat up too much of her time. stuff like giselle always being the last parent to come pick up berdly after school, berdly's marked aversion to joining the other kids in play, etc.

giselle's kind of a young mom? i guess if berdly is like 15-16 she's like... 34. so when this confrontation happened, she was still quite the hotheaded, spunky youngster (she's mellowed out a lot now). and she didn't take kindly to toriel's "overstepping" and kind of. blew up. "berdly is an incredibly capable child and does not need me smothering him the way YOU smother your own children."

yeah idk it's basically a butting of heads over parenting styles. toriel believes a child needs constant nurturing, and giselle believes a child needs Room to grow and needs the space to do their own thing. both of them take their respective approaches too far - toriel IS in fact smothering, and giselle is too distant. toriel has always been more mature than giselle and has been open to reconciliation from day one, if giselle will bow her head and take the steps to pursue it. which she hasn't been humble enough to do Until Now

the dinner is a bit of a mess. giselle is not a good cook and underestimates how long food takes to cook, so kris and toriel arrive a long time before anything is ready. berdly is Trying to help. he's begging her to let him help because she's so bad at this it's painful to watch. she keeps shooing him away - "i'm being a mom right now okay?! I'M going to cook for YOU." and once kris gets there she bans him from the kitchen entirely ("what is kris going to think? go spend time with them!")

i was thinking toriel actually helps her finish dinner instead ^^ which eases some of the tension and makes it easier for them to connect a bit later, when the kids aren't present. because when a teenager feels awkward they have this special power of making everyone else in the room feel 10x more awkward than they do. it's painful to sit through and berdly and kris eat as fast as physically possible and excuse themselves and i really do like the idea of toriel and giselle sitting together over a glass of wine or two... they'll never be besties but they have the potential to become decent friends once giselle sets some of her fiery pride aside :)

#berdly often insists he bears little resemblance to giselle but no you can SEE it. they have very similar personalities #giselle is just older and has had more time to tame her Attitude #ANYWAY THABK YOU FOR THE ASK I LOVE HEARING YOUR THOUGHTS always a good night when u send something in!!!!! 💗💗#mailbox #giselle

28 notes · View notes