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marvelandponder · 1 month

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15Qs and 15As!

Thanks for the tag, Marvel, this sounds fun! Tagging: @smallcrystals, @digikate813, @eddiescorner, and @bevinbrand if she feels like it :) Don't dox yourself on the 'where were you born' question tho, y'all. We're better than that. Are you named after anyone? Two people! My Uncle Stephen and my Nana (maternal grandmother). My brother was named after my dad's high school best friends

When was the last time you cried? I think the last time was a couple weeks ago watching anime. I love a good cry, I've embraced that that's how I express a lot of emotions

Do you have kids? Nope! I'd like to someday, but all in due time.

What sports do you play/have you played? I'm not a team sports kind of girl anymore, but I played soccer as a kid and really enjoyed that.

Do you use sarcasm? Usually only obvious sarcasm. Bevin and I will often use excessively obvious sarcasm with each other to express love. A little linguistic game we play with each other. We never enjoy spending hours and hours on the phone together. So unlike us! Where would you get that idea?

What is the first thing you notice about people? First thing? I feel like my anxiety is charge of that: looking out for how friendly they seem, what they laugh at (if they do), how approachable they might be. I had pretty bad social anxiety disorder from like 14 - 22ish and human beings tend to do the social thing once or twice.

What is your eye color? Hazel! Looks brown but up close you can see there's a lot of green around my pupils, too.

Scary movies or happy endings? My media diet is heavily skewed towards happy endings but every now and then, nothing satisfies like a good tragedy.

Any talents? People know I like the writing thing! I'm also learning to draw now and picking up guitar again for the first time since before uni!

Where were you born? A hospital about... 30 - 40 minutes away from me? I don't live in that city anymore, and haven't since I was 3, but we stayed in the same general province!

Don't dox yourself, folks!

What are your hobbies? Writing, drawing, guitar, going for bike rides or walks. Geeking out by myself or with friends! I'm also starting to learn some German and pick up a few more cooking skills.

Do you have any pets? Nah, wish I did. My living situation doesn't allow for it. But my dad has a dog who I love so much and get to visit! And my sister has two cats who used to live with us that are excellent cuddlers.

How tall are you? Uhhhhh I think 5'11? To use ancient Tumblr Lingo: Tol, not smol

Favorite subject in school? In Elementary - Middle School, it was English, because reading and writing. In high school, Psychology, Legal Studies, Guitars, History, or Writer's Craft

Dream job? Cool question, I'mma over-complicate it! For my career, it's either one of two things: Creative and/or helping people. Add another axis onto that: Stability vs. freedom. I like stability. It helps me feel happy and builds self-esteem to build stuff up. So since most of the creative jobs I'd be down to try have a lack of stability (and often crappy working conditions), I decided to start with stability and helping people! My current job is actually the goal I set for myself to get into in 5 - 10 years. So. Whoops! Got in early! I can't stay beyond this year (covering a mat leave) but wow has it been good experience. And it's cool shit that I like to think supports people in building something good for themselves.

Not a ton of creativity though, and so what's cool about life is that the time horizon isn't just right now, forever. The job I'm in now is a dream job of mine based on the criteria I set out (stable, treats me right, and helps people), but I have other dream jobs I'd like to also try out!

For example: I'd like to become a published author! And I'd also like to learn storyboarding to maybe try being a storyboards artist someday, or some job in animation.

What I like about the job I have now, too, is that I still have enough energy in and around my job to have a life outside of it. So I can build the creative skills that'll lead to cool stuff and opportunities down the line.

Having multiple dream jobs I think is realistic. And just kinda fun to not only achieve one thing, but look forward to what else I can do!

#ask meme

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swordsmans · 8 months

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Hey I saw your tags about your degree and how you ended up as an archivist and I was wondering if you would be willing to elaborate more on how that happened and stuff! I work in a library right now (though I do not have a MLS, I waffle back and forth on going for one) and archives are something I'm very interested in but they seem somewhat impenetrable as a field.

Hellooo!!! :D OMG!!! It’s always nice to meet other people in the field!!! I understand the apprehension about wanting/not wanting to go back for an MLS/MLIS—it’s a lot of work and debt for very little, tbh. Work experience is arguably more important than the degree unless you have very specific career goals (like archives, for example).

It’s a little bit difficult to answer this one without utterly doxxing myself, but the short answer is that I kind of. Fell into it? I was initially hired because my “specialty”/background is data and cataloging (the information science part of the degree lol), and I was supposed to do something else in a different department altogether. However, there was a little bit of staff shuffling and my museum looked internally when they needed an archivist to do something very specific with the collection. Because I was relatively new to the role (so I hadn’t settled much), had previous work experience in special collections, and the project is time-sensitive (grant related; oh, grants…), they just scooted me over to archives for what was supposed to be few days a week until they hired someone else, but… well. Here we are. I’m sorry I don’t have a very straightforward answer!! It really was just a weird alignment of circumstances in an extremely underfunded institution.

Technically I swap between a few different roles, and as much as I do enjoy my job I don’t know if I will stay an archivist long-term. You’re right—it’s an extremely impenetrable field and often jobs will look for multiple academic qualifications beyond just an MLS/MLIS when looking for candidates, like secondary relevant MAs or PhDs. I don’t think I’m technically even qualified to do my own job, because my background is not maritime history. Like you saw, it’s literally horror literature lol. I just happen to be really, really good at information analysis, which fits my museum’s specific need. And because I’m not technically qualified on paper, my institution doesn’t “have” to pay me an archivist’s salary, so everyone kind of wins. I’m the budget-friendly option for them and I get to do interesting work—but don’t know if I could leverage this experience into a similar position elsewhere when it’s time for me to move on.

It’s difficult to weigh the worth of going back for the degree (and choosing a specialty) because of the high commitment/low reward aspect of the industry. Personally, I do think it’s worth it—with the caveat that in order to find a job there is an extremely high chance you will have to move for your job. Out of town, probably out of state, potentially out of the country depending on where the openings are. I pivoted away from looking into a lit PhD because this was basically a requirement for academia, and I don’t have the ability to do that. Archives are very similar, I’m just a fluke. Libraries in general are a little all-consuming, although you might already know that. An MLS/MLIS would open a lot of doors, but you would have to shape your life around your job because of the way your new position would (in theory) work. It’s a very personal decision.

Either way, libraries are lucky to have you!!!! You’re doing wonderful, essential work by default and it makes me happy to hear you’re passionate about the field enough to consider staying long-term. <3 It seems like there’s always a shortage of staff because of the low pay and grueling environment (depending on the place, I suppose, but that’s been my experience) and I’m glad you seem to have found your place in our industry d(*ﾟーﾟ*)

#answers #librarian problems

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coffinsister · 6 months

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Jokes on you I literally love being invested in the drama of random YouTubers I don’t know - spill 👀👀👀

Anon you don't know what you just freaking unleashed onto the world

I gotta spill the freaking tea, but under read more, cuz this got hella long.

But okay, for context, this is about Minecraft Content Creators:: Dream and Tommyinnit mostly, but it's also about another Mexican YouTuber called Quackity

Basically, a super long time ago already actually, Dream announced he was making a new Minecraft server, after the DSMP tragically passed away o7 that was gonna be called the USMP (I'm pretty sure it standed for United SMP but no clue honestly.)

And the exciting new feature about this USMP was going to be this real time translator, so content creators from all over the world could play together (Side thought: I don't think the translations were actually that good either way lol they were machine translated lol)

But literally like that Same night, Quackity announced that actually he was making his own server, the QSMP that had that exact same feature

So they basically kinda fought back and forth over who actually had ownership over the idea or who ripped off who, and while the YouTubers themselves didn't really do much, beyond being way too public about it, but like honestly, what's the Minecraft sphere without incredibly levels of parasociality involved.)

The fanbase was completely deranged over it tho, because you know, Stans gotta be Stans.

A lot of people got doxed, and stalked, literally putting trackers on people's cars, a lot of racism (Hi, hello, that happened to me) just a shitshow overall.

I wanna say that even though I stopped liking Dream ages ago Dream Stans get the worst possible treatment from everybody, just idk, people feel very entitled to mistreating anybody with a ":)" on their bio.

At the end, it finally died down, and then, Tommyinnit, most annoying man on Earth.

Made an ohhh politically incorrect video that was just fake edgy and kinda boring, where at the end he called Dream, basically a crybaby manchild who was gonna get killed by Tommy's LARP Dad Philza Minecraft.

Dream found out, got passive aggressive on Twitter, Tommy doubled down, and then like a stream later, he was being whiny and sighing ,and apparently watching DNF edits of Dream's, new at the time, LP.

Which kinda gave off the message that he really sacrificed a years long friendship to try to get into an SMP that his bestie Tubbo made it into before him

And which he never will, because the QSMP is a very deeply controlled space, with almost no super young content creators, and Tommy's first DSMP video was him literally breaking the only rules of that the server had, so yeah, that's never happening.

(And then, his mom went online to defend him, like boy the way I'm immediately killing myself if that ever happens to me, plus the dream stans discussing with this woman over her son, literally most annoying people in the world.)

And today, Dream made a (In my opinion, super boring) stream just showing the USMP, and talking a bit about Tommy and Quackity.

He kinda implies that the reason the USMP will never see the light of day is because of that drama, but like, that man has never once pushed through on any of his proyects, that SMP was doomed to fail from the very beginning.

I must clarify tho, that my annoyance with Tommy isn't the fact that he dissed Dream. I just freaking don't like the guy, he literally built his entire career on being a mysoginistic lowkey lesbophobic annoying brat.

Kinda sucks that Tommy is the one making the biggest mcyt related videos at the current time, solely because he's got the resources and the connections for it, literally the best part of his channel is being a host for other content creators to be funny and shine.

I still love Quackity tho, he can hit it for free any day of the week, and that's on God

#they don't know i used to run a blog solely dedicated to gossiping about mcyt YouTubers #<- actually i should make that meme #either way thank u here's my tea rant #with my name i could do something real funny right now #but no i wony

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xx-katisnothere-xx · 5 months

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There needs to be a whole case study on artist TikTok. The amount of hatred and toxicity there is insane. That fucking app single-handedly made it so I never want see another artist or to share my work ever again.

Almost every single time I’ve posted a piece of my art there I’ve gotten so much hate. I’ve gotten comments making fun of my disability, making fun of my skill set, making fun of my current situation as well as doxxing and death threats just because I don’t draw as well as everyone else. Because my artstyle is bad. It’s so infuriating.

I’ve always been super self conscious of my work for as long as I can remember, being on TikTok just made it even worse. I can’t pick up my pencil without this voice in my head telling me I should just quit right now because there are 10,000 artists who are half my age and much much more talented and skilled than me. Pair that with at least 500 AI programs that could whip up something in 10 seconds flat.

I used to feel so proud of myself for seeing something through that I just had to share but now I just can’t take pride in anything I do because it’s not and will never be good enough. My stepparents shitting on my hobby hasn’t helped either. Drawing is seen as a waste of time at their house. It’s not a “real” hobby, it’ll never help me in the real world, but that’s it’s own can of worms I don’t wanna open right now. It feels like the whole world is telling me to quit.

It really sucks too because I’ve been at it for quite a while. I found a unique style I really enjoyed. A style that combined everything I loved as a child. I worked really hard to get to where I was but I just can’t take pride in my style anymore. According to the comments it’s too childish and cringey. It’s far too late to try and change it because I don’t actually know how to draw anything. I never went to an proper art class so I never got to have any real art experience. I can’t draw hands, proper anatomy, realism, still life, anything. I feel like it’s far too late for me to learn how to actually draw anything nowadays. The yt tutorials don’t help. Maybe it’s the AutiHD I don’t know. I just don’t learn that way. All I know is that it’s too late for me. I’m 21. I should’ve had this shit figured out years ago. I’m too old to be a beginner artist.

So I guess that’s it… my career ended before it even started. I had a …run. I can’t say for sure if I had fun or not but it certainly has been a ride.

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bbwcasey · 3 years

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Do you ever worry about your feedism career coming back to bite you in the professional world? I am a feedee who plans to go into healthcare - I worry a lot about whether the fact that I post nudes will be a problem late and I am wondering what your perspective is as someone who is already in the field.

Not at all. Why would it bite me, or anyone? We are all adults who are free to live their lives outside of work. I do not do nude content actually, however if I did I don't believe I'd be worried either. I create beautiful, empowering videos of myself modeling my plus size body and enjoying yummy foods. There's absolutely no wrong in that. Surely, many do not understand it - but that does not make it wrong or disqualify you from doing your job well.

Additionally, maybe of my colleagues are aware of my involvement in this community because I wrote my doctoral dissertation on it. It's a perspective shift. OWN this part of you. Embrace this part of you. Leave nothing to hide and you'll never have to worry. There is no shame in having these interests. Don't let society tell you otherwise. I can promise you that many other people in the same room as you have kinks of all sorts. We all do. Go to work and do your job well, and go home and live your life in whatever way makes you happy. Everyone deserves that.

Please note - this is coming from someone who has been formerly doxxed 5 years ago when I first entered this community. I thought it was going to be career ending and life changing. It wasn't. It sucked, but it wasn't. Life went on and I'm still here doing the job I love and making content I love. I am much older now and have realized that this part of my life does not need to be hidden. It certainly doesn’t always need to be flaunted - especially to those who are close minded - but I sleep better at night knowing all my cards are out on the table.

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princess--catherine · 4 years

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Maybe y’all will hate me for this, I’m all for women’s rights and the Me Too movement but has it maybe taken a turn it shouldn’t have? I can already feel the hatred

Just in the past couple weeks I’ve seen at least 3 “predators/rapists exposed”, and after looking into it I saw no predatory behavior to expose that was given. And people are losing their shit over this “cancelation?” The evidence for this one? “Had a minor backstage”...you think that didn’t and doesn’t currently happen with idk, every Disney star EVER and boy band on the radio? I’m sure a portion of Billie Eilish fans who’s parents buy backstage passes are REAL young, is she cancelled too? Since when does having a minor in your presence = any type of sexual behavior? This allegation causally mentions “backstage minor” and quickly moves to “predator” with no cohesion there. Since when does an adult simply being around a minor automatically make you guilty of doing sick shit? The “evidence” shown was pretty pathetic: cropped and blocked out texts with no name as to who it’s from, no name but said star predator, no time stamp or date, no pics, no voice memos, no emails, no proof of any kind that there was any truth to the claims, no detail, no real allegation actually even made from what I saw. Unless the “so and so did this” part was in invisible ink. I could literally google the date of a ‘insert famous person here’ concert or general tour dates, and do the same with a texting app or with someone else’s phone. This is an Accusation on someone of a serious sex crime on the sole basis maybe 5 texts, some of which are hidden, and ALL of which are anonymous, detail no criminal activity, are never worth ending or attempting to make sure someone’s career over.

Another one I saw was an explanation that another social media person made a somewhat crude comment/gusture towards a woman he knew but wasn’t super familiar with. One time, no actual touching. He was later told by a friend “not cool, other lady friend did not like”, he did as he should have and apologized, and it didn’t happen again- admittedly on both sides. The two girls told him everything was cool and okay, no harm no foul, don’t worry about it. It didn’t happen again and the friendship continued. Days later, “evidence” comes out from one of them citing him as a sexual predator for this situation. This incident. Yeah, it’s not cool to get in peoples space or compliment them in certain ways if your friendship is not on that level and it hasn’t been established. That I agree with, that it simply wasn’t very polite, but a) no one was actually touched physically in anyway and b) the “crude” comment from my understanding was about an outfit fitting her well or being firm fitting. Yeah, that might make ya feel a lil icky, but there was no sexual suggestion or threat. There’s a huge difference between unwanted attention and sexual harassment. Someone else later gets involved but says she’s “not comfortable/willing to discuss” but still insists he’s a predator but doesn’t show a single shred of any involvement or information. If I was these people being falsely accused, getting death treats and doxxed, and ultimately, “cancelled”/therefore loss of income possibly long term , with basically no evidence or someone saying shit like “yes, that’s a predator. Nobody gets to know why I’m saying that though. I don’t want to relive it, my bad. You horrible people need to stop supporting this sex offender!” I’d be sueing the shit out of someone and everyone for slander. Like this is unreal to me. It really blows my mind.

Before you message me hateful shit, hear me out. I’m not saying these guys are stand up, amazing, perfectly well behaved dudes. I’m not saying they’ve never done anything predatory or wrong before in their lives or careers. Lord knows narcissistic and higher than thou types run entertainment. I’m sure they all got their attitude and behavioral problems. I’m just saying the info I just read and described is almost nothing being real generous, no rational person sees that and labels someone a sex offender. You’re accusing someone of a very serious crime, in a lot of cases a fat ole felony, being a RSO list sometimes for a lifetime. Bill Cosby? Deserve it. Weinstien? Deserve it. Epstein? Deserved to be under the jail. I understand there’s not always physical evidence, or maybe there’s not enough to build a case/a case is unwanted by victim. Some say they want people to know and be warned. If that’s what you truly want, you truly truly are trying to protect others, go in 150%. Everything you got. But when this person publicly and openly calling someone out by name for being a “rapist/sexual predator”, absolutely dragging them thru the mud, and the reasoning, the justification for this is that he was dating other women? nah sis. That’s not how this works, getting played, while scummy, is NOT RAPE/SEXUAL ASSAULT/etc. (*this is excluding things that don’t apply to this particular story like recanting consent or knowingly passing on an STI) So sure, he’s a probably a POS, clearly unloyal, he’s maybe learned the art of sweet talkin his way into this one way monogamous relationship, and I frankly wouldnt feel bad if one of those girls who got played popped 3 of his tires, bought a fuck ton of spiders and sneak them into his bedroom or something. But not jail or prison. What he did (unless other info comes out) isn’t something to be uplifted or encouraged, it’s poor, unfair behavior. But what he did is not CRIMINAL. It’s just shitty and inconsiderate. And I know y’all are reading this thinkin “fuck this bitch”, making assumptions before you read a fraction of what I’m saying.

So let me explain a situation I was accidentally involved in a few years ago with someone who was “famous” around those parts and had lots of fans and groupies. Let’s call him “Lee”. Long story short, a friend and I were with him and different other people basically from like 8-9 pm to around 4 am. He was alone (out of my sight) only 3 times: once to use the bathroom at my friends before leaving, once in the men’s bathroom at a club, and for maybe 5 minutes when I had to change at my friends place before going back over. They lived in the same complex and stuff so it was basically throwing on some sweats and taking an elevator down. We hangout, drink, smoke, talk. Lowkey, chill.

I wake up the next day, someone texted me this link about “Lee” raping a girl. I’m thinking “holy shit, that’s scary and insane, we were just with him last night drinking and shit.” Keep reading...it says it was the night before. Same date we were with him. And the time the assault supposedly took place was when we had come back to his place, where other people were already there, we were sitting there forever talking/whatever, this girl who pointed the finger was not even in the room and left before we did. She poked her head in once and asked where Lee’s roommate was. He told her cookout, it’s late so it’ll be a minute. Asked her if she wanted to hang out with us. She declined. So I figured maybe this info was wrong somehow and at the time I wasn’t making the connection between that girl and this story. I was like, no way a girl would lie about that of all things and especially knowing it’d likely get picked up by the local media, or at least local gossip. Her life here would be over. My friend and I decided to go talk to the police even though I avoid the damn police at all costs. The first thing I asked this officer was: “are you POSITIVE this is the date, place, and time, and are you POSITIVE “Lee” is who she is accusing?” And I asked that mostly because I was not about to defend or vouch for someone about a situation I wasn’t present for. Also, I wasn’t the biggest fan of “Lee”, so I sure as shit I wasn’t getting myself involved and going to bat for him without knowing it’s right. The Officer was very adamant that all that info was correct, victim was very sure. I explained to him everything I explained above, but I’m sure in better detail and included texts, pics, videos all with times, plus receipts showing how this isn’t adding up. He wasn’t alone the entire night and early morning. Officer ask me if she (the victim) was visiting a roommate of Lee’s, if they were sleeping together during her visit, I told him the truth which was that I didn’t really know for sure but it was a possibility. He told me somebody else had claimed she was no longer welcome for unknown reasons and believed this to be be related. I explain to the officer that I won’t speak on her time with the roommate because I saw her only long enough for her to ask a question and respond to another. Before she peeped out the door, I had no clue anyone was in there. I said I think she told me her name but I’m awful with names even sober so. He started getting kinda hostile and cutting me short. I repeated exactly what I told him the first time: I’m only speaking on what I witnessed and what I know to be true. So, if you and she are correctly reciting the time, place, person being accused, this accusation is untrue. He first makes a bitchy threat like “you know these girls who lie for these athlete boys can really get in trouble? They all end up broke after the NFL anyway if they even make it. Lying for a friend is illegal, that’s breaking the law and will get YOU in jail.” I lost all my fear of speaking to a police officer at this point because they KNOW this man did not just call me a liar to my face despite my 1:2 of the evidence already fucking up this accusation. I told him that I honestly wasn’t a fan either professionally or personally of “Lee” and I would lie for no one regardless of friendship or status about this, I’d turn in my own flesh and bloood brother and sing like a bird if I caught him doing any sex offender shit. So again, I told this slow man with 2 braincelle this was the reason I asked about how sure he was and he believed the victim was, on the time, place, person, etc. Officer says something along the lines of “well, something happened to this girl and this boy’s gonna be hurtin for it. Someone’s getting charged here.” Which I dunno bout y’all, maybe I’m reading it wrong. But What I gathered from that is: “I’ve decided to be judge and jury in this situation and moreorless declare this young man guilty despite evidence in front of my own eyeballs that shows that there is a good chance the accused is innocent.

I have no idea why this happened. But after we spoke to that dickhead cop it was dropped relatively quickly. I don’t remember now if she pulled the charges herself or the state denied to prosecute. And even still, this followed him. The internet is forever. When his great grandkids google his college career, that will show up. Please keep in mind this was a black athlete, playing ball for a big college in the south, with a white girl accuser, all the cops I saw at that station were white in the short time I was there and at least the one I spoke to had his mind made up. He was loud and clear about that. He said basically the same to my friend who was interviewed separately, that he was determined to convict him, he was “the one”. This city I’m speaking of has been sued for police brutality against BPOC and I’ve heard my friends/classmates getting called the N word (hard ER) in the broad, open day light. So yeah add that info in with the rest and come to your own conclusion.

Before anyone comes for my throat again: idk exactly what DID happen but I know what DID NOT. Which to be clear, is pretty specifically: this rape with this person, did not happen here and at this time. So I’m not saying something didn’t happen but under different circumstances. I know trauma can mess with memories and if something did happen under different circumstances, I am so sorry that happened to her, I wouldn’t wish sexual assault on my worst enemy. I’m also not saying she necessarily had ill intentions or knew it would proceed and go viral as it did. The point is I just don’t know, no clue. Not throwing any blame or shade her way, all blame and shade on that cop though. ACABs, no excuse for his ass.

Anyway, y’all don’t gotta believe this since it’s been a few years and I highly doubt that stuff is anywhere in my phone like 4 iPhones and two laptops later. No reason to front, I don’t gain anything by lying but a guilty conscience. But this scenario that I btw, very much did not wish to be a part of, showed me another side of things. Can we agree to yes of course, trust and support women but also trust evidence and testimony? While, yes, stats show few women lie about this, can we at the same time understand questioning and thoroughly investigating such a heinous crime? Can we also recognize the system is literally built to “serve & protect” some by severely and systematically oppressing others? There are people, too many damn people, who have lost absolutely everything, served major time in big boy maximum security 23-1s, and have been put to death, based on biases and little to no evidence.

Next time you see an accusation, regardless of what it is, please do a little research. Make your own conclusion. Put yourself in their shoes, would you want to be “convicted” (either legally or through SM bullshit) on a snip it of convo with almost no information/context? Called a rapist cause you led someone on? No. You wouldn’t. Actually for any crime for that matter. You would reasonably ask and expect for it to be fair, two sided, and with as much evidence or info as possible. So let’s treat musicians, athletes, influencers, celebs the same way. Let’s not condemn before gathering as much information as possible. If not, I am so afraid we will drive an innocent person to suicide. We would all feel so guilty if someone was driven to suicide over false or misleading statements. Let’s avoid this, please.

#2020 #people aint gon like this one #assault #SA #metoo #accusations #incarceration #also most importantly ACABs

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alexcapistrano · 3 years

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Intro to this blog

Hello... Internet... am I in the right spot?

My name, for the purposed of this blog, is Alex Capistrano. If ever my meager writings here were to gain enough traction so that the general public would be interested in my person, they would not find me by that name. I have adopted the time honored tradition of cowardly writers who fear they have too much to lose (and may be right) and have opted for a pseudonym.

I wanted to start this blog for many years and for many reasons. Many years because, once again, I’m a coward, and many reasons for... well that’s what I’m about to tell you.

The only two facts I will reveal about myself are that I am cemented in the Orthodox Roman Catholic Church and that I flirt with the ideals of conservativism and existentialism. The flirting is the second fact. I believe I have the right and duty to change my mind with what if need be.

I have found that the general mind has closed itself off to freedom of opinion and civility towards those who possess differing opinions. As a unitarian, I have been disappointed time and time again with the incessant demonization of certain mindsets by the media and politicians, mainly those of conservativism, personal responsibility, true inclusivity, and religious orthodoxy. It has gotten to the point where I have no faith that any public outlet for my beliefs would end without myself being cancelled or blacklisted for something completely innocent if not unpopular. Due to the nature of my career I cannot risk that, and hence the pseudonym.

I also want to be very clear, this is no blog written by some bigot as an outlet for his bigotries. I’ll rephrase that in a more familiar dialect for some of you...

I ain’t one o’ them good ole boys. I nary have thought none about the glory of the South and I ain’t got no fanciful ideers about Blacks or Jews or Mexicans or Italians. Seeing as how I ain’t got no wings nor a halo, I ain’t got no guarantee of who’s going to heaven or hell. I ain’t got the faintest notion of how to tie a noose nor would I ever want to be around one. I’ll be friends with a queer just as much as I’ll rope a steer. I don’t think because I’m a man I’m better than my sister nor that I should sleep with her.

Not to leave out the other bigots in this country, I’ll similarly translate into your dialect...

I, as a penis-owner, don’t believe that I am beneath vulva-owners. I believe that the brave, brave people in the LGBTQQIP2SAA community shouldn’t be completely appeased for any half-baked theory or new term they came up with while smoking an eye-opening amount of marijuana and participating in a non-labeled, polyamorous orgy, no matter how much science they ignore. I don’t believe that white skin makes you naturally racist and black skin makes your naturally oppressed. I also actually give a crap about Asians and Jewish people. I believe in true masculinity and femininity despite being sooooooo tooooxxxxiiiiiccccc. I’m not going to spit on you, bash you over the head, or dox you if I disagree with you because, even though it’s much more difficult, I believe in freedom and fairness. Triggering words and phrases like white fragility, mansplaining, checked privilege, and “shaming” are kept strictly out of my safe space. And if you disagree you’re literally Hitler, or even worse, a straight, white, Christian, Republican, man. Gross!

You can tell I don’t like either side. I’ll also make a few more non-sarcastic clarifications. While I am conservatively minded, I am more interested in the truth than being a Republican; I believe anything that is big should be avoided with the sole exception of the Church (that’s Church with a big C, not Francis’ little c boys’ club in Rome); I have no patience for those who believe art is a secondary desire for mankind and not a primary necessity (not the primary necessity, but necessary nonetheless), AND most importantly, I believe in civility in discord and unity as a people. Whether or not America is fit enough to be the exemplar for that people anymore is becoming doubtful to me.

Anyways, man, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I just need a place to speak my mind. Not every post will be about the power of personal action, the evils of generalization, and the necessity of locality. All I can promise is that it will be devoid of hate and judgement, and in turn hopefully this blog can serve as a platform for people who are over hate as well.

0 notes

askdurianrider · 6 years

Note

if you raped hannah why is norvegan dancing around something so serious and focusing on high school bs like plagerism? if you raped her why was the first instinct of hc and nv to raise funds for an online bullying lawsuit against you instead of pursuing criminal charges?

There is too much logic in this post mate! Dont post this on any of those morons channels because they might need to up their psych meds! xD

If someone raped my GF and were still in CM I would just go kick the shit out of them at maya mall in front of everyone. Pick up a chair and knock them out with it then strip them naked and drag them out and put them in the dumpster with the word ‘rapist’ written in blood on their body. Get someone to vlog it and put it on liveleak. Make it go viral.

Why do we live in such a gutless world where people dont do that stuff? Instead people pose as fake victims and use resources and attention that could be used on REAL situations, causes etc.

Anyone with half a brain can see what these 2 bored souls are doing. Hannah chloe fucked up the first day by putting up her ebook at the end of the video where she claims she got raped. Who the fuck posts an ebook link in a video insinuating they got raped???? xD

Then they did the crowdfund to put me in prison. They copied Eisel but they didnt cut up enough onions so only got about 500USD which they pocketed and showed NO receipts where it went.

Then they ask for patreon and paypal donations in 2017. At least they are honest with that now and say ‘if you donate i can spend it on whatever I want’.

Hey just be honest from day one and admit you married a chick who spread her legs for any athletic vegan dude in CM. Doesnt make her a bad person, Hannah Lobb aka Hannah Chloe just likes getting fucked by fit vegan lean guys and her bitch bit sloppy gut husband funded by his parents Michael Hebo can’t deals with it so puts up a personal vendetta on me.

Joke is on him though because he married sloppy seconds and everyone in the community who knew Hannah in person knows that.

Ive got no hate towards either of them. I feel sorry for them they have resorted to these tactics to try and get some fame. Hebo can obviously edit well but he wastes his talent and time trying to get pennies ‘unmasking me’ but all he has done is destroy his social media career and that of his wife. He has TRULY helped me show me who was just a user and who was a true mate. Hebo showed me that FL was not really my soul mate because her actions after we split spoke louder than anything else.

I would like to see him make some vegan activism videos against the big meat companies etc. That would get him so popular because nobody out there is doing that because nobody has his editing skill or time. He isnt really a vegan though and just wants to make quick money on drama.

One day I will see him out on the street and I will personally shake his hand and thank him for ‘unmasking’ the hangers on in my life and making me less naive to many peoples original motivations. Thanks to Hebo I have a lot more freedom and peace in my life. I dont like how the dox’s tori’s family though and those videos need to be taken down and re-uploaded.

Thanks to him and others Im the most hated and most loved vegan on social media now. Anyone who watches my content isnt on the fence anymore. They either want give me a big hug or punch me in the face! You can’t buy that level of audience passion, you have to earn it with hard work and dedicated haters/lovers.

I feel like Ive cracked the code of social media lifestyle now. I simply can’t fuck up anymore and that feels SO liberating. I have so much freedom to TRULY be myself because after all the drama I only care what I think about me vs what some confused noobs or easily influenced people do. How we see ourself really all that matters at the end of the day because ourselves are the ONLY person we ever have to answer for.

So many people live this fake life being someone else at work or on camera to get money/approval/status etc. Ive done that before but now I get to be me and that is the best fucking job ever.

If I had a choice to click a button and wipe off all the slander crap people write about me on the internet then I would and the reason is I DONT like seeing noobs get confused and give up on vegan or cycling. I dont care if people give up on me but I do see some giving up on vegan or cycling life because of anti DR propaganda and that just makes the world a WORSE place because we need more fit vegans and we need more bikes on the road instead of child/pet/wildlife killing cars.

BUT this magic slander cleaning button doesnt exist SO I just have to work harder at spreading a more inspiration based vegan athlete and cycling lifestyle to the masses.

Give this post a like if you think its a better idea to give MORE inspiration when faced with haters than to fight back like the reptile brain is conditioned to.

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simply · 4 years

Text

the price of success

this has been a thought in my head for the last few days: the price of success. i've been pondering the same few questions about this topic. i hope that maybe later in life i can look back on this to reminiscence what i defined success as in different stages of my life.

success is a subjective term that probably means something different to anyone. for the scope of this, i'll define success in the most two recent ways that ive defined it in my life. many years ago, before i enrolled into university, success was defined to me as helping my gaming guild be the best guild on the game that i played day-in and day-out. more recently (last ~2 years), i've shifted success to mean something more tangible - career progression. ill try extracting the common transferrable themes that ive noticed and pose questions

back when i wasn't in school, this game that i played was extremely time consuming. guilds would fight other guilds. because guilds had egos for wanting to be the "best guild", fights would go on for over 6 hours in some instances because neither guild wanted to throw in the towel and let the other guild claim a win. there were also several ways to go about fighting that shifted outside of the game. one guild could plant a "spy" in another rival guild to receive intel or make fun of the other guild's members. a guild could hack members and ruin their accounts. ddosing/doxing was a regular thing. overall, it was a really bad environment to be a part of. i was definitely an extremist at one point in my life and took things way too far out of this silly game. even though i participated in some shady stuff, i can't say that i regret it. i've had some pretty bad fuckups/not so "hot" moments in my life, but the chain effect of those experiences and actions have grounded me into the person that i am today. the experiences that i live through today will hold influence to the type of person i can be tomorrow. this can go in either direction of good or bad.

i think there's a valid argument to say that the people throwing hours and hours into this game are wasting their life, but i believe that there can potentially be a net positive if looked at in a certain light. ultimately, the people on this game cared so much about their guild because of egos being hurt. because of their egos, they would take extreme ownership of wanting to prove they are the best guild no matter the cost. because of extreme ownership, they took end-to-end responsibility and developed the qualities of being persistent, innovative, as well as handful of other toxic qualities through the process. but, from being able to play a video game for hours and hours that leads to a dead to end objectively, these people have developed a quality that in my opinion is extremely hard to grasp - extreme ownership.

when my guild closed in 2018, this was the year i went back to university, decided to pursue software engineering as a profession, and quit the game that i spent countless hours on. at the time of enrolling into university, i defined a goal for myself that i wanted to be able to make at least 6 figures post-graduation so that i could support myself. the money wasn't the only reason why i wanted to pursue this field, but financial freedom is something ive always wanted since ive been poor my entire life. anyways, even though entering university for me was objectively useless since my degree doesn't translate to what i wanted to do post-university and i was accumulating student loan debt through this process, being able to observe what people were doing in the traditional cs route was truly enlightening. because of the competitive drive i developed years ago, i viewed hitting this goal as just another game and seeing the competition gave me the confidence boost that i needed to see. my progression of hitting this goal i defined for myself was solely in my own hands. i had no class or person looking over my shoulder through this. it ultimately required for me to take extreme ownership of this situation - the same exact concept that i learned from spending countless hours on that game. i spent countless hours supplementing knowledge, learning how to succeed in interviews, etc, etc, and i was able to hit my goal last fall with a couple internships. the mindset that i crafted for myself when preparing was very all-or-nothing.

looking back on it now, the behaviors that were essential to my success were definitely toxic - just like some of the behaviors i picked up in the game previously! being extremely persistent, narrow-sighted, and probably a little obsessed with the prestige if i were to have succeeded. likewise with the game, i can't say that i necessarily regret the steps or framework i built for myself during this phase in my life. i was able to hit my goal and able to meet some really cool people along the way that i know i will be connected with for years.

the reason why i wanted to write this post was to highlight that even though i defined success in very different ways (one of which that could be seen as extremely useless to many), i was able to transfer core fundamentals of one scenario into another.

however, the "success" definitely came at a price of adapting traits that can be perceived as toxic and draining. at this point in my life, i feel restless if i'm not able to work on something throughout the day. currently, i'm in a phase where its just a nonstop grind of interview, interview, interview, and it just isn't something i care about as much like i did previously because i already hit my goal. ive just grown away from this grind since i know if i really put my mind to it, i know i can succeed, but what's the point? to gain some slight prestige? meh. days at a time i feel pretty drained about this situation. the last thing i want to do is prepare, but objectively i should be pouring my time into nothing but preparation. it's what i did last year, so why am i stopping now? its a really privileged problem to have and the last thing i want to do is come off as ungrateful. but sometimes i just honestly can't answer if adapting toxic traits to achieve success is worth it. what i've noticed in society lately, is that we're told to not "push ourselves too hard" or not do things we're "uncomfortable" with. i believe that people create narratives to convince themselves about why they can't achieve something or why that something might not be that good as i've been a victim for this in the past. personally, i've been trying to adopt a lifestyle to fit the latter, but some days i wonder if i could adopt a different framework later in life that isn’t so critical of myself and my ego. who knows, maybe i’m just naive lol

#thoughts

0 notes

atakportal · 6 years

Text

How Drew Gooden rebuilt his online identity after Vine died

New Post has been published on https://pin.atak.co/how-drew-gooden-rebuilt-his-online-identity-after-vine-died/

How Drew Gooden rebuilt his online identity after Vine died

This post is part of Me, online, Mashable’s ongoing series digging into online identities.

If you’ve ever found yourself mourning the downfall of Vine by binging compilations late at night — because really, who hasn’t? — you’ve probably seen Drew Gooden’s iconic “Road work ahead? I sure hope it does!”

That Vine inspired remixes, parodies, and fan merchandise. But the 24-year-old is ready to work on other projects.

youtube

Like many Vine stars, Gooden’s made the transition to YouTube as a vlogger. Three years after that immensely popular Vine, he’s navigating the world of reaction videos, figuring out his own brand, and trying to move past being known as the Road Work Ahead guy.

The following conversation with Gooden has been edited for length and clarity.

Mashable: You started off on Vine, and now you’re making a name for yourself on YouTube. What was the thought process you went through when YouTube started growing more and Vine kind of just died out?

Drew Gooden: For me, there wasn’t really crossover. A lot of people on Vine used their Vine platform to get big on YouTube. I waited until Vine died and didn’t go to YouTube, and then a few months went by and I was like, OK, I guess I’ll try it. So I had to start from scratch again on YouTube. By the time YouTube was starting to work out, Vine was so far in the rearview mirror. And YouTube has done a lot more than Vine — like I never made money from Vine. YouTube is now like a career. I forget exactly what your question was because I just ramble a lot.

No worries. What was your thought process as you transitioned to YouTube?

When I first started YouTube, I wasn’t doing what I’m doing now. I tried to do what I was doing on Vine: basically little sketches, where I play all the characters, but it would just be longer. I think they’re all pretty funny, but the way YouTube works, people really want to get to know you as a person. And so when I started to incorporate that, but into more sitting down and talking about something and sharing my opinion it felt like that’s when it really started to take off.

Do you think if Vine stuck around for longer, people would make a career out of it?

Not at the rate it was going. There was a peak of Vine where people were making a lot of money — I wasn’t one of those people but I know some of these people were doing these brand deals and these brands were throwing out so much money. There wasn’t a way to figure out if it converted, where YouTube, you get a brand deal and get a link. They click on the link. With Vine it was just like, “Drink Pepsi!” and they had no way to track.

How old were you when you made your infamous “road work ahead” Vine?

I think I was 21. And it was not nearly as big. But that’s one of those Vines that seems to be more popular now than it ever was then, because it’s in all the like, Vine compilations on YouTube. It’s funny, because … [at] VidCon, about one out of three people were like, “Oh, you’re the road work ahead guy!” And they’d want to film me saying the Vine for like, Snapchat or whatever. I was like, “I’ve done other stuff,” but you know.

So you think that got popular because of the Vine compilation videos and not when Vine was still a thing?

I think so. I think it’s also that when people are reminded of it when they see a sign, and maybe they say it to their friend, and then they’ve introduced them. It’s kind of branched out over the years. It was not popular when it came out, but now it’s like my catchphrase. I sell shirts with it on it, because gotta capitalize on it while it lasts.

me: road work ahead?? UHH yea, i sure hope it DOES

my driving instructor, clenching her fists: drew you took your driving test like 8 years ago please get out of my house https://t.co/nESlDxFehJ

— Drew Gooden (@drewisgooden) March 27, 2018

But now it’s three years later, you’ve tweeted about how you’re tired of it and called it a “curse” — can you talk a little about that?

Yeah it was funny. Like, I go back and forth. I compare it to a band that has one really big song, and even though they make a bunch of different songs, they have to close every show for the next ten years with that song. Because that’s what people want! So you have to embrace it, but there’s a part of me that’s like, “Please don’t make me say it again.”

I’d like to separate myself from it, but I have to embrace it, you know? And if that’s how people discover me and if they like my new stuff, then that’s great.

And you sell merch for it, so you’re making money off it.

Right.

It’s hard though — you’re a meme. You become a meme, and people want you to be that.

How have you tried moving past that one Vine, either in your personal life or in your path as a YouTuber?

I guess moving past it is just about doing other things. Doing as many other things as possible. I think there are other Viners who have one thing and then they try to milk it forever, and that’s fine, but they never end up doing anything else. It’s hard though — you’re a meme. You become a meme, and people want you to be that.

Did you ever see that Vine, and he’s like “It is Wednesday, my dudes” and he screams?

Yeah!

I saw him at VidCon and he was wearing the costume from that. He does other things now, he does YouTube and Twitch. But people aren’t gonna recognize him now unless he’s wearing that costume.

youtube

Right. And you’re getting more into vlogging — how has that played into you moving on from Road Work Ahead Guy?

I don’t know. I feel like the more things I do that aren’t centered around that Vine, the more I’m separating myself from it, even though people will always associate that with me. I think it’s something that I can’t do on my own. Like even if I say, “Guys I’m done with that,” people are still gonna see me as the Road Work Ahead guy. There’s almost nothing you can do in separating yourself from something that’s become bigger than yourself.

So much of YouTube is sharing your personal life. You even have a video called “Exploiting My Relationship For Content.”

Ha, yeah.

Do you ever regret having so much out there in the public?

I guess, to an extent. But you go into it knowing that’s going to be part of it. And I think I am able to separate — there’s a lot I don’t have to advertise. I don’t have to say everything about my relationship. Like, I like being able to include my fiancée in stuff because she wants to and people like her. I feel like there’s nothing I’ve put out there that I wasn’t willing to put out there. The only time I do regret it is when I mess up in a video, it’s on the internet forever.

Where do you draw the line between what’s too personal and what’s good for content?

I think I embrace it in that if something embarrassing happens to me, I think that does make for good content to tell the story. Like I’ve pooped my pants before when I was 15, and it’s a really funny story and I could be like, “Oh, I hope no one finds out, or I could just embrace it as a funny story. I think the key is try not to be embarrassed. Where I would draw the line, is like, don’t come to my house.

youtube

You had a pretty scathing review of Jake Paul’s concert.

Right.

What do you think of the identity that the Paul brothers built for themselves, and why do you dislike it so much?

So much of it is built on “We have all this money, and you don’t.” And without acknowledging the fact that the people they’re bragging to are the people who gave them all that money. With Jake and Logan Paul, they’ve done individually, things that are pretty messed up. Logan had the thing with the suicide forest — how would you even think to do that? — and Jake doxxed Post Malone. I think they’re more interested in making content than being good people. It’s so self-promotional, and it’s just kind of gross. I think they’re delusional about the fact their fans are kids.

But at the same time, you have said before that some of your super popular content was bashing on the Paul brothers. How do you feel building your own image off of someone else’s terrible image?

Yeah, that’s where I’m at right now. I’ve been doing that for a little bit now, because it’s easy to grow on YouTube as someone who rants about other things. I do get called out once in a while — like, “You’re making fun of these people, but all you’re doing is making fun of them, so how are you any better?” I try to add as much of my own flavor to it. Also, knowing that I’m not going to do this forever, I want to use this to transition into original, traditional content, not so much like, “And here’s who sucks this week!”

youtube

How would you define your brand, then, as a content creator?

I don’t really know … I feel like so much of it is figuring it out as I go. Whatever works, I’ll just do more. I guess I would describe my YouTube channel as me being the voice of reason amidst all of this weird shit that’s going on on the internet. Like, a couple of videos I made that are really big are about the pointless life hacks that you see on Facebook all the time. I like content like that because there’s not a victim, really. I’m not making fun of a specific person, I could just point at something that everyone thinks is dumb and be like, “Look how dumb it is!”

Do you have a goal set for yourself for moving into traditional content?

When I started before Vine and everything, what I wanted to do was write for a television show. Not a movie, specifically a TV series. Like, I’m a big fan of The Office — I’ve always wanted to write a show like that. So I’d like to, eventually with my platform and my audience, kind of get to a point where I could fund something like that and make something that’s scripted. And [one that] is a story rather than you know, reacting or ranting about something. That’s where I want to get.

!function(f,b,e,v,n,t,s)if(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function()n.callMethod? n.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments);if(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n; n.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0';n.queue=[];t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0; t.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0];s.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)(window, document,'script','https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js'); fbq('init', '1453039084979896'); if (window.mashKit) mashKit.gdpr.trackerFactory(function() fbq('track', "PageView"); ).render(); Source link

#after #culture #gooden #identity #online #online-identities #rebuilt #vine #web-culture #youtube

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news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog · 6 years

Text

How Drew Gooden rebuilt his online identity after Vine died

This post is part of Me, online, Mashable's ongoing series digging into online identities.

If you've ever found yourself mourning the downfall of Vine by binging compilations late at night — because really, who hasn't? — you've probably seen Drew Gooden's iconic "Road work ahead? I sure hope it does!"

That Vine inspired remixes, parodies, and fan merchandise. But the 24-year-old is ready to work on other projects.

youtube

Like many Vine stars, Gooden's made the transition to YouTube as a vlogger. Three years after that immensely popular Vine, he's navigating the world of reaction videos, figuring out his own brand, and trying to move past being known as the Road Work Ahead guy.

The following conversation with Gooden has been edited for length and clarity.

Mashable: You started off on Vine, and now you're making a name for yourself on YouTube. What was the thought process you went through when YouTube started growing more and Vine kind of just died out?

Drew Gooden: For me, there wasn't really crossover. A lot of people on Vine used their Vine platform to get big on YouTube. I waited until Vine died and didn't go to YouTube, and then a few months went by and I was like, OK, I guess I'll try it. So I had to start from scratch again on YouTube. By the time YouTube was starting to work out, Vine was so far in the rearview mirror. And YouTube has done a lot more than Vine — like I never made money from Vine. YouTube is now like a career. I forget exactly what your question was because I just ramble a lot.

No worries. What was your thought process as you transitioned to YouTube?

When I first started YouTube, I wasn't doing what I'm doing now. I tried to do what I was doing on Vine: basically little sketches, where I play all the characters, but it would just be longer. I think they're all pretty funny, but the way YouTube works, people really want to get to know you as a person. And so when I started to incorporate that, but into more sitting down and talking about something and sharing my opinion it felt like that's when it really started to take off.

Do you think if Vine stuck around for longer, people would make a career out of it?

Not at the rate it was going. There was a peak of Vine where people were making a lot of money — I wasn't one of those people but I know some of these people were doing these brand deals and these brands were throwing out so much money. There wasn't a way to figure out if it converted, where YouTube, you get a brand deal and get a link. They click on the link. With Vine it was just like, "Drink Pepsi!" and they had no way to track.

How old were you when you made your infamous "road work ahead" Vine?

I think I was 21. And it was not nearly as big. But that's one of those Vines that seems to be more popular now than it ever was then, because it's in all the like, Vine compilations on YouTube. It's funny, because ... [at] VidCon, about one out of three people were like, "Oh, you're the road work ahead guy!" And they'd want to film me saying the Vine for like, Snapchat or whatever. I was like, "I've done other stuff," but you know.

So you think that got popular because of the Vine compilation videos and not when Vine was still a thing?

I think so. I think it's also that when people are reminded of it when they see a sign, and maybe they say it to their friend, and then they've introduced them. It's kind of branched out over the years. It was not popular when it came out, but now it's like my catchphrase. I sell shirts with it on it, because gotta capitalize on it while it lasts.

me: road work ahead?? UHH yea, i sure hope it DOES my driving instructor, clenching her fists: drew you took your driving test like 8 years ago please get out of my house https://t.co/nESlDxFehJ

— Drew Gooden (@drewisgooden) March 27, 2018

But now it's three years later, you've tweeted about how you're tired of it and called it a "curse" — can you talk a little about that?

Yeah it was funny. Like, I go back and forth. I compare it to a band that has one really big song, and even though they make a bunch of different songs, they have to close every show for the next ten years with that song. Because that's what people want! So you have to embrace it, but there's a part of me that's like, "Please don't make me say it again."

I'd like to separate myself from it, but I have to embrace it, you know? And if that's how people discover me and if they like my new stuff, then that's great.

And you sell merch for it, so you're making money off it.

Right.

How have you tried moving past that one Vine, either in your personal life or in your path as a YouTuber?

I guess moving past it is just about doing other things. Doing as many other things as possible. I think there are other Viners who have one thing and then they try to milk it forever, and that's fine, but they never end up doing anything else. It's hard though — you're a meme. You become a meme, and people want you to be that.

Did you ever see that Vine, and he's like "It is Wednesday, my dudes" and he screams?

Yeah!

I saw him at VidCon and he was wearing the costume from that. He does other things now, he does YouTube and Twitch. But people aren't gonna recognize him now unless he's wearing that costume.

youtube

Right. And you're getting more into vlogging — how has that played into you moving on from Road Work Ahead Guy?

I don't know. I feel like the more things I do that aren't centered around that Vine, the more I'm separating myself from it, even though people will always associate that with me. I think it's something that I can't do on my own. Like even if I say, "Guys I'm done with that," people are still gonna see me as the Road Work Ahead guy. There's almost nothing you can do in separating yourself from something that's become bigger than yourself.

So much of YouTube is sharing your personal life. You even have a video called "Exploiting My Relationship For Content."

Ha, yeah.

Do you ever regret having so much out there in the public?

I guess, to an extent. But you go into it knowing that's going to be part of it. And I think I am able to separate — there's a lot I don't have to advertise. I don't have to say everything about my relationship. Like, I like being able to include my fiancée in stuff because she wants to and people like her. I feel like there's nothing I've put out there that I wasn't willing to put out there. The only time I do regret it is when I mess up in a video, it's on the internet forever.

Where do you draw the line between what's too personal and what's good for content?

I think I embrace it in that if something embarrassing happens to me, I think that does make for good content to tell the story. Like I've pooped my pants before when I was 15, and it's a really funny story and I could be like, "Oh, I hope no one finds out, or I could just embrace it as a funny story. I think the key is try not to be embarrassed. Where I would draw the line, is like, don't come to my house.

youtube

You had a pretty scathing review of Jake Paul's concert.

Right.

What do you think of the identity that the Paul brothers built for themselves, and why do you dislike it so much?

So much of it is built on "We have all this money, and you don't." And without acknowledging the fact that the people they're bragging to are the people who gave them all that money. With Jake and Logan Paul, they've done individually, things that are pretty messed up. Logan had the thing with the suicide forest — how would you even think to do that? — and Jake doxxed Post Malone. I think they're more interested in making content than being good people. It's so self-promotional, and it's just kind of gross. I think they're delusional about the fact their fans are kids.

But at the same time, you have said before that some of your super popular content was bashing on the Paul brothers. How do you feel building your own image off of someone else's terrible image?

Yeah, that's where I'm at right now. I've been doing that for a little bit now, because it's easy to grow on YouTube as someone who rants about other things. I do get called out once in a while — like, "You're making fun of these people, but all you're doing is making fun of them, so how are you any better?" I try to add as much of my own flavor to it. Also, knowing that I'm not going to do this forever, I want to use this to transition into original, traditional content, not so much like, "And here's who sucks this week!"

youtube

How would you define your brand, then, as a content creator?

I don't really know ... I feel like so much of it is figuring it out as I go. Whatever works, I'll just do more. I guess I would describe my YouTube channel as me being the voice of reason amidst all of this weird shit that's going on on the internet. Like, a couple of videos I made that are really big are about the pointless life hacks that you see on Facebook all the time. I like content like that because there's not a victim, really. I'm not making fun of a specific person, I could just point at something that everyone thinks is dumb and be like, "Look how dumb it is!"

Do you have a goal set for yourself for moving into traditional content?

When I started before Vine and everything, what I wanted to do was write for a television show. Not a movie, specifically a TV series. Like, I'm a big fan of The Office — I've always wanted to write a show like that. So I'd like to, eventually with my platform and my audience, kind of get to a point where I could fund something like that and make something that's scripted. And [one that] is a story rather than you know, reacting or ranting about something. That's where I want to get.

WATCH: So, how well do you know your 'Lil' rappers?

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mavwrekmarketing · 7 years

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A few weeks ago, Dries Buytaert, founder of the popular open-source CMS Drupal, asked Larry Garfield, a prominent Drupal contributor and long-time member of the Drupal community, to leave the Drupal project. Why did he do this? He refuses to say. A huge furor has erupted in response not least because the reason clearly has much to do with Garfields unconventional sex life.

More specifically, Garfield is into BDSM. Even more specifically, hes a member of the Gor community, an outr subculture of an outr subculture, one built around a series of thirty-odd books by John Norman which are, basically, John Carter of Mars meets Fifty Shades of Grey. Essentiallyas I understand ita community who are interested in, and/or participate in, elaborate (consensual!) sexual subjugation fantasies, in which men are inherently superior to women. I know all this because of Garfields lengthy public response to his ouster, self-deprecatingly titled TMI about me:

Yes, I am one of those people Despite the total lack of evidence that alternative lifestyle cultures offer any harm to anyone, there is still a great deal of prejudice and bigotry regarding it someone, I do not know who, stumbled across my profile on a private, registration-required website for alternative-lifestyle people that information made it to the Community Working Group (CWG), who concluded there was no code of conduct violation present for [them] to take any action on in my first contact with Dries, he asked me to step down from Drupal Drupal has been the cornerstone of my career for the past nearly 12 years Dries wouldnt budge on me leaving, including making it clear that it wasnt an option, but an instruction informing me that Id been summarily dismissed from my position as track chair and as a speaker at DrupalCon, per [my] conversation with Dries here I am, being bullied, harassed, and excluded because of my personal activities, which I dont even publicize much less advocate for in tech circles.

Buytaert (who is also co-founder and CTO of Acquia, a Drupal platform which has raised ~$175 million over the years and has been struggling to IPO for a few years now) retorts:

when a highly-visible community members private views become public, controversial, and disruptive for the project, I must consider the impact all people are created equally. [sic] I cannot in good faith support someone who actively promotes a philosophy that is contrary to this any association with Larrys belief system is inconsistent with our projects goals I recused myself from the Drupal Associations decision [to dismiss Garfield from his conference role] Many have rightfully stated that I havent made a clear case for the decision I did not make the decision based on the information or beliefs conveyed in Larrys blog post.

Sigh. This sad mess is something of a perfect storm of Code of Conduct conflicts. It is one which raises a number of interesting questions. It also raises several quite boring ones, so lets get them out of the way:

Does this matter? (Isnt this just prurient clickbait?)

Is it OK for an open-source community to ban/ostracize a member for being involved in BDSM, or other forms of unconventional but consensual adult sexual behavior?

More generally, is it OK for an open-source community to ban/ostracize a member purely because their belief system perhaps better described as a complicated fantasy milieu in which they happen to spend their personal time was doxxed?

These questions are boring not because they are unimportant, but because the answers are so obvious: yes (no), hell no, and hell no.

Ill unpack the first: open-source communities/projects are crucially important to many peoples careers and professional lives cf the cornerstone of my career so who they allow and deny membership to, and how their codes of conduct are constructed and followed, is highly consequential.

I really, really hope I dont have to unpack the two hell nos. But in case I do, let me quote this excellent blog post from Nadia Eghbal:

In the past, Dries mightve kicked Larry out because BDSM is a threat to family values. Today, leaders like Dries kick Larry out because BDSM is a threat to gender equality. Unfortunately, the end result is the same Beliefs are not actions. We cannot persecute people for what they believe, no matter how much it disgusts us, and simultaneously maintain a free and open democracy If diversity is our dogma, call me spiritual, not religious. I still pray for the same things as you, but I wont be at the witch trials.

Which is brilliantly put and I hope settles the previous questions. However. The Garfield Situation also raises two questions which are far more complex and interesting:

Under what circumstances, and via what kind of due process, is it OK for communities to publicly condemn people for secret reasons?

Is it OK to ban/ostracize community members for (legal) behavior which occurs entirely outside the community?

Obviously sometimes organizational decisions have to be made based on information that must remain confidential, for legal or ethical reasons. But if youre making such a decision, you really have to do so in the right way. What is the right way?

Probably something close to the opposite of what Buytaert and the Drupal Association did. Even if their decision was correct, which currently seems at best suspect, their complete lack of process transparency, and Buytaerts vaguely worded hinting-without-really-saying-anything statement, makes it very hard to have any faith in it.

Their accusations are so vague nonexistent non-accusations, really that Dries & co. could surely have told the community substantially more (indeed, anything) about Garfields problematic behavior, if any, without revealing sensitive information. For instance, they could have said theyd received reports of threats, harassment, or coercion by Garfield, if any such reports existed. They have said nothing of the sort.

(For what its worth, a well-informed source of mine reports: Its worth noting that a handful of women who worked with Larry did not report harassment or abuse from him in the workplace. We cant know for sure if he committed offenses, but if there were allegations or even rumors of his mistreatment of women we would be having a very different conversation right now.)

They could also have cited which elements of the Drupal Code of Conduct he violated, if any. They have not done so but theyve expelled him anyhow. Isnt that Code of Conduct, and its associated Conflict Resolution Policy, supposed to be what dictates the rules of behavior and interaction in the community? Doesnt overruling that written code with arbitrary decisions made for secret reasons reveal that in practice it is an irrelevance with no actual weight or importance?

I reached out to Buytaert in the hope of clarification; he did not respond.

Its hard not to get the impression, from the little that we do know, and the manner in which it has been miscommunicated, that whats actually deemed unacceptable here is that Garfields kink has spilled outside of his personal life i.e. that his real sin is that he was doxxed. Which, as noted, is firmly in hell no territory.

It is of course entirely possible that this impression is incorrect, and that Buytaert and the Drupal Association have done the right thing. But they have offered no evidence, no arguments, and no reasons for their decision. It seems obvious to me that they have a moral obligation to their community to do so. You cant ban people without at least sketching the outline of what it is they did wrong. Just trust us is not enough

especially since it also seems possible that the CTO and co-founder of a heavily funded pre-IPO company has participated in expelling a man from what his been his professional community for the last twelve years, ignoring that communitys own Code of Conduct and Conflict Resolution Policy, because it was decided he was guilty of, essentially, thoughtcrime; that no real accusations have been made, and no allegations of problematic behavior have been cited, because none such exist.

A third plausible scenario, based on the tea leaves of Buytaerts phrase actively promotes, is that Garfield has been banned for expressing views outside the Drupal community which are deemed unacceptable inside. This is not a new issue in the open-source world: I wrote about it last year, in the context of Curtis Yarvin and Opalgate:

Should communities accept people who hold repugnant views, as long as they dont express them within that community? Or should they be expelled, because its assumed that their views influence their community work in a negative way, or because their presence makes other people feel unsafe?

Personally, both answers make me feel deeply uneasy. Humans are messy, complex, and contradictory; human interactions are that squared; the results are so complex and context-sensitive that they often need to be judged on a case-by-case basis, rather than by any hard-and-fast rule.

although in those cases, the views in question were clearly expressed publicly, not privately, and were not intended as part of any BDSM fantasy world. Does that apply here? Who knows? Certainly not the Drupal community.

Its impossible to judge the Garfield situation, because all we are permitted to know is that it has been prejudged for us, by people who refuse to tell us anything about either their evidence or their decision process. It is, however, very easy to judge whether the people who have made and communicated this decision are, by the way they have done so, actually serving their community. And that answer is, once again, Im sorry to say: hell no.