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lunarwts · 9 months

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love me, love me

george clarkey x fem! reader

a tiny headcanon of george and his need of physical touch (374 words)

hello!!! here's a little something i wrote on the train! let me know what you think - enjoy! 💗✨

okay so this man has always got to be touching you

or at least all up in your personal space

out in public he has his hand in yours, or around you shoulder, or holding your waist, or in your back pocket

even just linking your pinkys

and is. not. ashamed.

in private it’s even worse better

will just lay on top of you

head in your neck or on your chest and just has this cute little content smile on his face

staying at his place and having a movie night with the boys and them just looking at you two with disgust

(but also lowkey with adoration because they love that george is happy)

alex and arthur tease him by calling him cuddle bug

he pretends that it annoys him but he actually loves because it’s true

he is your cuddle bug 😌

his wallpaper is definitely a picture of you both during one of said movie nights that alex took of you cuddled up on the end of the couch with a bowl of popcorn and huge smiles on your faces

and in bed???

his hands are either on your hips, your boobs, in your hair, around your neck

HAND HOLDING! HAND HOLDING! 🥵

links his hands in yours on the pillow above your head and leans down to nip and whisper in your ear

anyways!

getting ready for bed and brushing your teeth, doing your skincare in the bathroom and in walks george

wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder while watching you in the mirror as if your hanging the stars in the sky

even though he’s seen you do this countless times

and then when you’re done he’ll grab your hand and walk you into bed

once you’re both under the covers he is pulling you straight into him

sometimes your head is on his chest, other times it’s tucked under his arm

his hands are around your waist while yours are either holding him or just resting on his chest

legs tangled together like a pretzel

and then you somehow wake up even closer

moral of the story;

if it was possible to get inside your skin, george would do it 😪🌷💛

#lunarwts #george clarkey x reader #george clarkey #george clarke #georgeclarkeey #george clarkey fic #george clarkey imagine #george x reader #british youtuber #youtube fanfic #youtube imagine #youtuber x reader #imalexx #eboys #tiktok

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hellbornsworld · 7 months

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JUNGKOOK WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(3)₊˚✧ ﾟ.🐈‍⬛˚₊‧꒰ა ‧₊˚

˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀

"Would you dare to go inside?"

❝The moment I put this ring on your finger, you became my property.❞

🫧 𝐒𝐄𝐗 & 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 | CEO!Jungkook X Employee!Reader | Fuckboy JK | Completed | Re-Uploaded in inkitt

"Do me Jungkook, p-please."

"With all the pleasure. I will fuck you, only fuck you with everything I have."

"I'm just 2 % straight y/n, but I can love you more than a hundred percent straight man"

"Admit it Jungkook, she'd rather sleep with me." Jimin Vs Jungkook

"fuck yourself... and let me watch"

❝She's a delicate little flower, hyung,❞ Jungkook grabs his leather jacket and slips it on. ❝And if anyone is going to hear sinful moans pass those innocent lips, it'll be me.❞

"i have died everyday waiting for you."

"i should be the one lying next to you at night."

What's wrong with being a little chaotic? -J JK

🫧 𝗥𝗲𝗱 | Mafia+Ceo!JK X Reader | 53 Chapters | Duration-8h 18m | Ongoing

"That dress-" he says, eyes raking down your body. "-is 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 fucking distracting."

🫧 A Little Burden | Jungkook X Reader | 36 Chapters | Duration-3h 35m | Completed

I still remember that day clearly.....every night it comes back to me like a nightmare. The small fragile human getting pushed into my arms. Tears streaming down my face as I looked at her....Doctors storming in from everywhere trying everything they could to keep her alive. The look in her eyes she gave me made me break inside.

She knew she wasn't going to make it.

She smiled at me and took one last look at her child before speaking.

" notice me senpai " - jjk

A child must be sacrificed in order for the city to gain its happiness. a tale when doom and love are two sides of the same coin.

When the doctor tells the Jeon's that their newborn Jungsoo could die due to his premature birth, Mr. Jeon decides to clone him as soon as possible.

To their surprise, Jungsoo is able to grow up happy and healthy along with his clone, Jungkook, who's the total opposite of him.

❝ -How much is your daughter? ❞

Jungkook loves food and computer games, but compare to those two you are his favorite thing in this world.

He is the spitting image of an Angel but the blood in his veins is that of the Devil's.

❝Your son, he looks very similar to Jungkook...❞

Leave it to a 3-year-old to bring two parents back together.

❝ she slipped away the same way the velvet box slipped in my hand ❞ she was oddly peculiar and pure mystery yet, he still finds the refuge of feeling at "home" to the mute girl whom he met at the seaside.

A prince and servant girl grew up together in a castle. Best friends for life until that love as friends changed to something more. All was well until the prince was to be married and everything changed. Forever forbidden to be together but can one fateful reunion change everything?

"Jeon Jungkook, I like you." You said, your eyes wide and cheeks on fire. You finally had the guts to tell your long time crush what you feel about him. Jungkook smiled, giving you a spark of hope and a wash of relief. Or maybe it was a false hope or just him being kind as he says, "I'm sorry but I'm already in a relationship."

"...Kookie" she calls that's when Kookie's small little hands tugged onto his mother's sleeve's pulling her to look at him.

"what's wrong Kookie?"

❝I want to buy her❞

"You smell very nice."

"Are you...trying to flirt or something?"

A socially awkard witch has to struggle with being the sudden love (?) interest of a wolf shifter

"If they catch us, they will kill us."

"I don't give a fuck right now, baby."

"I don't call myself a pornstar, but I'm pretty famous on Live Babes (LB). I make money doing what people ask from me and they are mainly men, married man. Some even gave a wife or kids. But I don't care about that at all. The only thing I want is to continue earn their money. Oh! It's already 9PM! Don't forget to watch the show!"

"I can't wait, princess." -J.JK

What would you do if one day you woke up as Jeon Jungkook?

🫧His Gangster Girl | Jungkook X Gangster!Reader | 68 Chapters | Duration-8h 57m | completed

'She is a maze with no escape.'

🫧 Fuck It List | BFF!Jungkook X Reader | 60 Chapters | Duration-5h 30m | Completed

• Go skinny-dipping

• Have a make-out session

• Try foreplay with ice .....

˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀

MASTERLIST is here for other recommendations

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theagstd · 11 months

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OBSESSION | JJK

Jungkook x reader

when your cold ceo boss gets obsessed with your lips

You as his secretary

Angst | fluff

Word count ; 900+

My first drabble over 100 likes

A/N | this is my first drabble, so I'm nervous, bwahaha. I'm an Instagram and wattpad writer with 3 years of experience. I hope this short drabble was okay. I didn't wanna start anything long or fancy. If you wanna read my short bts fan fics or my latest book that stars JJK, then click my masterlist

___________________________________________________________ Walking into the elevator as you were running late to work, you felt anxious even though your ceo boss is now your new boyfriend. You have never been late for work, and ever since last night's heavy and long make out session, you couldn't help it but sleep longer due to tiredness and pleasure.

"Shit, shit, shit!!"

You cussed under your breath as you left your belongings on the table before grabbing the file from the desk and walking into your ceo boss's room.

"Good morning Mr. Jeon, I'm sorry I reached la-"

Your boss interrupted your speech as he placed his lips on yours with his eyes closed while your eyes were wide open like a fish. He tilted his head more, holding your jaw as he moved his lips with yours, waiting for you to move along with him. And you did, how could you ever not? He's Jeon Jungkook, not just any man, besides that. He kissed you like he's never kissed anyone before. You started to lose your breath when he wrapped his hand around your waist. Holding you tightly like as if you would fly away. But this was totally unexpected as it's been just the next day after the first informal session together.

"Good morning, babe, that's okay. I know you were tired." He murmured, and you raised your eyebrows,

"b-babe?"

"Doesn't it suit you well, mm?"

He said and pecked your lips again causing butterflies to flutter around your stomach while he locked the door so no one would catch you both flirting.

"Come with me."

He held your palm as he walked with you towards his seat. He placed you on his luxurious mesh office chair and you looked at him with confusion.

"Mr Jeon? What are yo-"

he once again interrupted your sentence as he pecked your lips and whispered, "giving my girlfriend some boss treatment, I mean she's not just a secretary anymore mm?"

He muttered softly, giving you a soft grin while his hands held yours. His cold rings perfectly hugged his fingers, cooling your warm palm. You blushed from one cheek to the other, but also feeling weak now as his kisses were unusual from the past 2 days of having romance.

"Mr-"

"just say Jeon, mm?"

He said again and pecked the back of your palm this time, which sent chills down your spine. He held your waist and looked down at you. You were just 5'3 and he loved the height difference of 7 inches. As much as he thought it was cute, he knew it was equally sexy too. He began to do a slow couple dance. You had no idea your ceo boss was this romantic.

Jungkook had feelings for you for about 6 years, and you finally realised he was the one for you. After that, one night, you both spent together unexpected confessions, and everything was just so romantic and so warm You looked up at him and met his eyes, and he met yours, Jungkook grew closer to you as he kissed your lips again.

"Why do you keep kissing me like this?" You questioned softly he smirked before cupping your face as he kissed you again.

"I think I may have become obsessed with (*kisses) this lips."

He whispered and kissed you again.

"I've waited long, waited for you to love me and now that you did. I'm gonna prove how much I've been obsessed over you."

He said and kissed you again, but this time, you got along with him dirty and let your tongue inside. He grabbed your waist and placed you on his cabinet before kissing you wildly.

"My obsession over you is endless….."

he whispered before you smirked and began the way..

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angelus-scripturae · 1 year

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Hiya!! I'm new to your page but I was wondering if I could request a memeulous smut oneshot? I don't have anything specific in mind like at all but if you could that'd be great!!

Also I was wondering if I could be 🐝 anon if it's not already taken?? xx

OFCC YOU CAN

thanx for the request hun :) x

Stressed lately? || Memeulous x reader smut

Summary: you’re stressed with work. George had the best way of helping you.

WARNINGS: smut duh (relatively vanilla), strong language, mentions of stress/ stressful situations.

Female reader and anatomy <3

⚠️smut⚠️

You walked in the door to find the flat quieter than usual. So quiet in fact that you could hear the small rustle of the crisp packet at the bottom of your bag.

Usually, there was either talking between your two roommates or faint music as one or both of them did chores. However, recently this had begun to severely annoy you. You wish you could blame it on “that time of the month” or anything along those lines but in reality, you had no idea why you were so irritable.

Everything just seemed to annoy you lately. Someone breathing too loud, chewing too loud, using a keyboard too loud, having the tv on while you were trying to concentrate. These were all things that never used to annoy you before until a few weeks ago.

You heard a door open from deeper in the flat followed by it shutting and footsteps approaching. George looked at your messed up hair, eye bags, slouched posture - even more than usual - as you sat on the couch, and just the overall exhaustion that radiates from your figure and immediately figure out why everything seemed to piss you off lately.

You were stressed.

A few weeks ago, you had began a big project at your work with people who highly underestimated you. However, since the pay was way better than what you were getting previously, and it was great for your career if it was successful, you took the offer. However, because of your colleges’ low expectations of you, they excluded you from a lot of the project and important information that was vital you knew about. Everything about the project had pissed you off beyond belief and going to your boss didn’t help at all. So you just sucked everything up and tried to keep the peace by unintentionally taking your pent-up anger out on your boyfriend and best friend.

George came up behind you and placed a soft kiss on the top of your head before moving in front of you to crouch in between your legs.

“How was work?” He asked quietly, already knowing the answer you’d give wasn’t the entire truth.

“It was fine, just tiring.” You replied in a flat voice trying to get your laptop out of your bag to continue working. George’s hands gripped yours to stop you from finishing your movement.

“Babe, I can tell you’re stressed.” He said as your eyes trailed onto his face. It hurt him to see such pain and exhaustion in your eyes.

“I just wish I hadn’t taken on this project.” You said as tears began to fill your eyes. One of George’s hands glided onto you face to wipe a stray tear from the corner of your mouth before pressing a sweet kiss to your lips.

As he pulled away you followed his movement, chasing his lips hoping for another. He simply smiled and complied, this time bringing both hands up to hold your face. You tangled you fingers in his hair as the kiss grew hungrier and more passionate, You let out a small moan into his mouth when he placed his knee between your thighs to steady himself giving him the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth.

His hands then moved to hold your jaw as he pushed his knee into your clothed pussy earning a quiet, desperate moan from your occupied mouth. You began to grind on this thigh as you tried your best to pull him impossibly closer to you.

In the blink of an eye, you had flipped yourself and George so that you were straddling one of his thighs temporarily breaking the kiss you breath. You continued to grind yourself down his leg, brushing his now hardened cock with your hips in the process. You heard him groan at the action and bent down to whisper in his ear.

“I need you…” You said panting, “please.”

Something in George just snapped. Hearing you say those words just stripped away any self control he had at that point as he moved himself to get on top of you. He Removed his shorts in a quick motion before doing the same with your underwear.

Freeing his cock from the confines of his boxers, he pulled your legs around him before pushing into your tight hole.You let out a high pitched moan at the familiar feeling of his cock filling you in all the right ways.

Once he bottomed out, he gave you a few seconds to adjust before thrusting into you at a slow and deep pace. Moans began spilling out of your mouth as his speed began to pick up, eventually becoming a rough pounding as the sound of skin slapping skin filled the surrounding area. Your moans fell out in a string of curses and slurred variations of Georges name as he rearranged your organs with his cock.

He moved like a piston at superhuman speeds as you felt the familiar knot began to form in your stomach becoming tighter and tighter by the second. You felt it begging to strain as you got close to your climax as George’s head dropped to the crook of your neck leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses all over your neck and collarbone.

“Cumming!” you barely managed to stutter out before the cord in your stomach snapped and you released your delicious juices all over George’s cock. He rode you through your high before pulling out of you and pumping his dick a few times before thick white strings of cum sprayed onto your thighs.

You both simply stayed like that, laying on each other before George stood up and picked you up, carrying you upstairs.

“Come one hun, Alex will be home soon. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

A smile rose to your lips as you nodded weakly settling into his chest.

Thank you so much for the request 🐝 anon and welcome to the anon list! I’m so sorry I got this out so late I’ve just been so busy with my personal life that i just haven’t had time or the motivation. hopefully i get back to a regular schedule soon though. I hope you enjoyed this since it’s the first thing i’ve written since gaining motivation again but yeah!

#memeulous #georgememeuloussmut #memeuloussmut #memeulousxreader #memeulousxreadersmut #squ1dgeybrainrot #eboys #georgememeulous #fanfic #🐝 anon

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esha-isboogara · 2 years

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under the desk support

i wish i liked people in a normal way but here i am. it is like 1 am and i am writing about a youtuber who makes reaction videos.

“Willll”~ she called in a sing-song voice knocking on the door, not bothering to wait for a response before opening it. She did this so often she was sure he would not mind anymore. Not like he has a choice either way. It was just as much her flat as it was his.

Y/n was not going to let him ignore her for too long.

He looked up from his laptop, his steel colored eyes taking her in from head to toe before focusing back on his work. He did not have time for distractions. And her just standing there was more of a distraction than anything “I’m not yet done with this video so don’t even think about asking me again”.

“I can’t come visit my favorite person in the whole wide world just because I want to? I am beyond heartbroken”. A playful pout came onto her face as she entered his room. “I get to missing you when i’m allll alone ..” Her voice trailed off as she stood behind him and leaned down, draping her arms around his shoulders while nuzzling his face.

“I’m sure you do love, but i’m busy like i had said earlier. Do you need something”?

With not a care in the world she pulled his chair back and placed herself on his lap. “Actually I was hoping to help YOU Will. I can tell how stressed you are. And since you’re my most favorite boyfriend in the whole entire world I’m going to help you out”.

She was not incorrect. Things have been all over the place recently. He had been working himself to the bone editing videos , recording live streams and planning out ideas.

“Y/n I really appreciate your concern for me. Really I do. But I’m not really sure there is anything you can do for me right now”.

She smiled,a big toothy grin. “Let me just try and help you relax and if it doesn’t work I’ll leave you alone”

He could tell by her expression she had something devious on her mind.

Shifting her position again she drops down and makes her way down under the desk. Her face was resting between his thighs. “Please Will? I promise it’ll be worth it. It’ll be good for you”.

He wanted to say yes so badly. Oh how he wanted to just fuck her face right there. But he had to at least attempt to have some control over himself.

“Y/n I’m working right now. If someone caught us….”

“I don’t think you’d mind”. she replied with a grin, moving her face closer to his crotch. “In fact I think if one of your friends were to walk through that door and happened to come across me with a mouth stuffed full of your cock you’d enjoy every second of it”.

His cock twitched at the thought of her doing such a thing to him. And in his office of all places.

“You need to unwind just let me help this once please Will”?

He sighed in defeat. How could he say no to those begging eyes ? And lord knows he needed this. Who was he to turn down such an opportunity.

He ran his fingers through her hair. “Alright lass , go ahead”.

Her eyes visibly lit up with excitement. “I knew you’d say yes! Don’t worry I will totally make this worth your time”.

She was quick to pull his waistband down and allow his cock to greet her. It was hard to contain her excitement.

“Go on now , on with it”. Will urged ,pushing her face down towards his member “show me how eager you are to please me”.

Hearing those words set her off even more , she was careful not to slam her head on the wood of his desk as she slowly ran her tongue along the hardened length. She repeated this several more times, wanting to savor every moment of this wonderful moment.

“Don’t be a tease Y/n I have work to do. Behave”. Will warned you in a stern tone. You know he was beginning to crack though.

#will lenny #willne smut #willne #will lenny x reader #willne x reader #eboys podcast #eboys 420 #smut #actual fanfic #drabble #smutty drabble #british youtubers #commentary youtuber #commentary youtuber x reader #esha writes

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thattransboyaled · 1 year

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introduction post!

about me!

hello! my names aled and i have a shit ton of lgbtq+ labels (gay, asexual, demiromantic, transmasc, demiboy, t4t + queerplatonic). i am very gay. my pronouns are he/they and i prefer masculine terms!! i really enjoy writing (especially fanfic), reading and watching youtube/twitch. sometimes i watch tv shows. i also listen to a shit ton of music! if you want to follow me elsewhere, i’m thattransboyaled on spotify, pinterest + ao3 :)

what will i post on here?

i’m mostly going to use this as a place to shitpost/share fanfics!

top 3-

books: in memoriam, radio silence + salt to the sea

characters: aled last, the captain + lieutenant havers

shows: bbc ghosts, dead end: paranormal park + heartstopper

music artists: louis tomlinson, lovejoy + cavetown

songs: common people by louis tomlinson, it’s golden hour somewhere by lovejoy + this is home by cavetown

authors: alice oseman, ruta sepetys + john green

main fandoms i’ll post about-

bbc ghosts, osemanverse, good omens, ofmd, bbc sherlock + one direction

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weonbullshit · 2 years

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What is O.O Cody's aesthetic(s)?

I had to look this up because I don't really bother with aesthetic things. 😅 I imagine him dipping into a few aesthetics, especially as he gets into his later teen years. Mainly indie kid, skater and eboy/egirl.

These are a few things I found that I liked, I didn't wanna add too many.

#tfrb #tfrbau #fanfic #otherworldly oddities #rescue bots au #cody burns #eboy #egirl #indie kid #skater #asks #aestethic

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mihai-florescu · 8 months

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I think it's so fun when fanarts are dated. That eboy y.amaguchi dyed hair headcanon. The spike of characters in pink outfits when barbie movie was trending. Any sk8 fanarts being made when that one the first time he kissed a boy renga fanfic everyone was reading was updating a few months after the show ended. Theres something nostalgic

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owlways-writing · 8 months

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Hello! @ye-olde-eboy and I are working on a fanfic project together! Their blog has all of the information already, and they'll be posting some art so please check out their blog!

I'm kind of in charge of Grian and Ren's point of view, while eboy is in charge of Scar and Martyn. The series is roughly inspired by 3rd Life, but there will be moments with others from Hermitcraft. Also, we added a few original characters to make certain scenes flow better, so I'm sorry if that's not exactly your cup of tea. Here's the link for the series so far:

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3718246

I won't be posting as frequently as eboy, but I plan on posting a Grian pov sometime this week. Hope you all enjoy!

#writing #hermitcraft #fanfic #guys go look at the art it's so cool

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solovedyetsoalone · 1 year

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⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ introduction ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

hii! my name is alex, and im from england!

im on here to (hopefully) gain a small community to help me with motivation to keep writing fanfics, and to just share my thoughts whenever they happen :) at the moment ive got two on the go, my ao3 at the bottom of this post.

i will accept fic requests if i am comfortable with them/will enjoy writing them, but i am a minor, so please dont request anything sexual.

my fandoms are dream smp, sbi, wilbur soot/lovejoy, willne, eboys and many more.

im happy to be here!!

#dsmp #wilbur soot #will gold #fanfiction #ao3 #lovejoy #sbi #willne #please be nice #im new here

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jamesmarriottistrilingual · 2 years

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Remembering my cringe fanfic from last year where I made all the eboys either gay,trans or depressed.

i fucking hate myself

#eboys #imallexx #james marriott #willne #memeulous #inabber #stephentries #lewis buchan #i cringe you cringe we all cringe

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angelus-scripturae · 2 years

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memeulous smut ? xx

Ugh!! I have been WAITING for an excuse to write for him. Gosh thank you so much. (i made it a drabble if that’s okay. if you want a full one i’m happy to write it)

George smut drabble

(no gender specified however female anatomy is mentioned)

WARNINGS: Oral (male receiving), Penetrative sex, dom george

This man is a rough dom. Argue with the wall it’s just fact. He’d also LOVE overstim <3

This man you’ll be pounding into you and I mean POUNDING (like god speeds) while you’re beneath him just screaming his name. Alex better be out when this is happening or imma feel so bad for him. Your moans would be echoing off every surface in that room. You’d be squirming under George from the overstimulation. He’d be having none of it. He’d have you bent over doggy style, one hand holding your hands behind your back and the other around your waist to keep you in place. He ain’t stopping until you say the safe word.

I also think you’d both establish a traffic light system. Like if you were asking him to stop, he’d slow down and ask “what colour” if you replied with red: he’d stop no questions asked, green: he’d keep going, yellow: he’d slow down. Or if you were trying something new he’s continuously ask what colour to see where your limits were with that thing in particular.

On that note i think he’d very much be up for trying ne things. Bondage? Hell yeah. Ice play? You got it. BDSM? If you want to. He strikes me as the type of person to do whatever his partner wants but will definitely tell you if it makes him uncomfy.

I’m conclusion: I’ve thought about fucking this man way to much.

Thank you so much for the request! home this was something along the lines of what you wanted! xx

MASTERPOST

#georgememeuloussmut #squ1dgeybrainrot #georgememeulous #memeulous #eboys #smut #fanfic #drabble #xreader #georgexreader #ivethoughtaboutgeorgewaytomuchbuticantstop

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lilwenney · 30 days

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hi there :3 i’ve recently rediscovered my hyperfixation for the eboys and wanted to thank you for being one of the only people who writes will x reader fics !! i’m currently in the process of reading all of your fics about him, i love your stuff <33

i was wondering if you’d consider writing nsfw? i’m not sure if that’s something you’ve done before or even interests you, just a genuine ask :) i also appreciate the time and effort it takes to create and post a fic, so really no pressure at all ! thank you again for all the hard work you put in •3•

hi love !! i am so happy that you discovered my writing and thank u so much !! :)

i have wrote will smut & general nsfw before but when my blog got fuckin blasted on yt (👀) and when there was general chaos revolving around idea of the boys reading fanfic for a video i privatized everything. i still have them saved & have thought about making them public again but i want to re-write them first lol

i still have my tag "on main" that is all the asks/posts that contain smut and there are a few things, but not a lot. that's all i have for now but eventually i will get back around to posting smut, i just have a feeling hahaha

#anon #asks

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herbert-west-reanimaterr · 2 months

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speaking of my roblox eboy, how do you feel about the self insert yaoi fanfic?

...I approve of the self-insert yaoi fanfic.

#west.#please note that i dont remember what happened in it.#but. shine your way autistic child. shine your way.

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luizacriticas · 7 months

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26/10

Bom, altas reflexões hoje.

Sabe, ontem foi bem bacana, mas não dá para mim, eu odeio sair no dia que trabalho. Meu corpo fica cansado. Ontem vi o Samuel e f1 com ele e com.... a laura! Na casa dela é mais tranquilo. Aquilo que disse, não afasto totally mas assim, cada uma no canto. Meu best é o joão gaybriel, e voltando pra casa ontem eu fiquei pensando em como somos amigos. O auge tudo ter acontecido tão rápido e tão intenso, e pensar que eu achava ele eboy metido. Juro, a cara dele é muito de enzo belvedere que dirige uma hb20 e usa um pincher como acessório. É tão bom ter com quem contar, tipo, de verdade sabe? Fico triste com quem não tem isso. Tipo meu primo, coitado, só tem amigos de role e que se não saírem não tem amizade. Não tem aquela conexão, e eu nem sei explicar o que estou falando. Tipo aquela amizade que duas meninas parecem ser melhores amigas mas juntas você não vê aquela química, felizmente eu tenho química com juanes. Também, eu sou tipo a lady gaga, mãe dos gays. Eles mim ama.

Teve uma época que eu queria vários amigos, e até tive, mas acho um saco ficar saindo de casa e infelizmente para manter relações você precisa disso. E eu tenho a plena certeza que vou dividir apartamento com o joao um dia. Já imagino um lugar limpo, bem decorado, cheiroso e jovem! Imagina a cena. Chegar de noite, tomar banho e descer pra augusto de lima e dançar em algum barzinho. Coisa simples, mas que enche meu espirito de alegria. Não tem nada nessa vida que eu valorize mais que minha paz e sossego. A isa também pode vir se quiser, vai ser bom ter uma dentista dentro de casa, e a isa é a própria vibe cervejinha na mão e gatos.

Ano que vem vai se iniciar uma nova temporada na minha vida. E estou ansiosa até. Esse ano foi mais, eu Luiza, num mundo de eremita. Fiquei muito tempo comigo mesma e foi magnifico, aprendi várias coisas novas, descobri mestres incríveis, li bons livros. Mas me tornei uma velha rabugenta, gosto do meu café no horário de sempre, de estar na cama as 21:00... meu dia é todo planejado. O bom é que perdi total o medo de perder as pessoas, eu sou muito magnifica e adoro minha companhia. Tipo, caralho, eu sou muito legal. Só eu nesse mundo vou me entender 100%, não é psicóloga, amigos, mãe e nem ninguém. Somos seres únicos. Só você entende seus sentimentos, seus gostos e se você não gostar de você a despedida do outro sempre será uma ameaça. O outro sempre estará fadado a ir embora, ele também não tem obrigação de permanecer na sua vida, e a pessoa não é ruim por isso. Você não é uma flor de lis que todos têm que amar e admirar. Não sei porque as pessoas se sentem ofendidas quando a outra vai embora. “air eu fiz tudo por nossa amizade” problema teu, se esgotou por que quis. Mania chata dos outros, euem. Ajude o outro por que você quer, porque você é uma pessoa bondosa, não para manter a pessoa do seu lado ou para ela te ajudar em um futuro próximo. Eu sei eu sei, é difícil, afinal quando você gosta de uma pessoa você quer agrada-la, mas agrade ela se agradando também. Faça porque você gosta de cuidar do outro sabe? Ontem fiquei pensando nisso. Antigamente um beijo era motivo para criar uma fanfic inteira na cabeça e estar apaixonada. A real? A real é o seguinte. Gostava de ter alguém, não me sentir sozinha. Também do toque físico que o outro pode proporcionar, o prazer, o calor... mas é tudo sobre o outro. Percebi que nunca foi uma paixão real. Uma paixão pela PESSOA, eu estava apaixonada pela sensação, pelo sentimento de segurança, pela forma como a pessoa fazia eu me sentir. Não pela pessoa em si, até porque se você for ver depois que a paixão acaba você vê como a pessoa era tão... xoxa, nossa cabeça que colocou ela nesse pedestal. Na real, acho que com todo mundo é assim. Somos um bando de carentes. O sentimento verdadeiro é aquele que não exige troca do outro. Acredito que o amor genuíno seja esse... fazer sem exigir nada. Pelo simples fato de olhar aquele ser e amar, admirar. QUE PESSOA FODA. Algo genuíno, puro, sem amarras, cobranças, ficar chateado porque o outro não pode sair com você e etc etc. as vezes nem a mãe tem esse amor. Se o filho for gay então não é mais seu filho, se meu filho não fizer a faculdade ele é um desgosto... as mães têm filhos por medo de ficarem sozinhas e a necessidade de um ser que vá fazer tudo que ela quer. Não é amor genuíno. Estou falando de extrapolar os limites do espiritual. Sem nem escrever o que quero dizer, de tão intenso que é.

Nunca conheci ninguém com amor genuíno. A não ser o da minha avó Eva por mim. O único que eu presenciei até hoje.

Não estou falando de amor eterno. Acho uma bobagem. Estou falando de verdadeiro. Claro que você não vai continuar amando seu ex depois de 20 anos separados (ou sim, mas enfim) estou falando de sermos assim por natureza, parte do nosso ser. Seja em qualquer relação entregar algo puro. Ta ligado que essa fita não tem nem como escrever. Só sei que quero ser essa pessoa. Ser intenso não é se apaixonar por todo ficante que você se envolve, até porque depois você vê e odeia a pessoa, estava era cego, não apaixonado. É sobre se entregar para uma pessoa que valha a pena. Prefiro me envolver com uma pessoa que eu admire genuinamente do que ficar com muitos. Mas dai entro na questão, somos muito mesquinhas.

Se não fosse nos dados algo em troca nós faríamos? Nós humanos somos EXTREMAMENTE egoístas. Só fazemos algo se depois formos beneficiados. Só vou ajudar o outro se ele me der algo em troca, só vou amar o outro se ele me amar e me der a sensação que eu gosto, só vou trabalhar se for receber (obvio) mas assim, tudo nessa vida é uma troca. Então, para que vou amar se não vou ser amada de volta? Isso é louco. Será que faríamos alguma coisa se não tivesse uma moeda de recompensa? Já está nos nossos genes. Repare. O dinheiro existe para trabalharmos, sem isso, claro que ninguém iria trabalhar. Se o dinheiro acabar, pum, parou de existir, como será o mundo amanhã? Loucura né.

Só sei que quero algo verdadeiro, agora mais do que nunca vai ficar difícil me apaixonar. Pois vou me apaixonar pela pessoa. Pelo jeito, sorriso, como me trata e não pela sensação se estar com ela. Porque com ela eu rio, eu danço e blablabla NÃO, isso tudo envolve você, ta vendo? Tudo volta para um ponto: como você se sente. Se você já pensa na pessoa com você rindo, assistindo filmes juntos, fazendo coisas e tal, é um amor voltado para você. Olha o ego aí queridinhos. Pense no outro como uma pessoa que você admira, que quer por perto porque ELA é incrível, não porque COM ela você se sente incrível. Difícil escrever o que quero dizer, como disse, é extremamente pessoal.

Um dos mais profundos sutras do Gautama o Buda: ‘Ame-se...’

Exatamente o oposto tem sido ensinado por todas as tradições do mundo, todas as civilizações, todas as culturas, todas as igrejas. Elas dizem: “Ame os outros, não ame você mesmo.” E há uma certa estratégia esperta atrás desse ensinamento.

Amor é o alimento da alma. Exatamente como a comida é para o corpo, assim é o amor para a alma. Sem comida o corpo é fraco, sem amor a alma é fraca. E nenhum governo, nenhuma igreja, nenhum interesse assumido, jamais quis que as pessoas tenham almas fortes, porque uma pessoa com energia espiritual está destinada a ser rebelde. Eles condenam o amor-próprio mais que qualquer outra coisa e eles têm feito seus ensinamentos parecerem muito lógicos. Eles dizem: “Se você amar a si mesmo se tornará um egoísta; se amar a si mesmo, se tornará um narcisista.” Isso não é verdade. Um homem que ama a si mesmo declara que nele não há ego. É amando os outros sem amar a si mesmo, tentando amar os outros que o ego aparece.

A coisa real não é um relacionamento mas um estado; a pessoa não ama, mas é amor.estou falando sobre o estado de amor. Sim, relacionamento é perfeitamente bom, mas ele vai ser falso se você não tiver atingido o estado de amor. Assim o relacionamento não é só uma pretensão, mas uma perigosa pretensão, porque ele pode ir enganando você: pode continuar lhe dando a noção de que sabe o que é amor, e você não sabe. O amor basicamente é um estado de ser: a pessoa não está amando, a pessoa é amor.

E esse amor surge não ao apaixonar por alguém. Esse amor surge indo para dentro não caindo mas elevando-se, voando muito alto, mais alto do que você. É um tipo de ultrapassagem. Um homem é amor quando seu ser é silencioso: é a canção do silêncio. Um Buda é amor, um Jesus é amor não em amor com uma pessoa em particular, mas simplesmente amor. Seu próprio clima é amor. E não é endereçado a alguém em particular, é espalhado em todas as direções. Qualquer um que chegue perto de um Buda o sentirá, será inundado por ele, será banhado nele. E ele é incondicionalmente assim.

O amor não dá nenhuma condição, nenhum ‘se’, nenhum ‘mas’. O amor nunca diz ”Preencha esses requisitos, então eu te amarei.” O amor é como respirar: quando acontece você é simplesmente amor. Não importa quem chegue perto de você, o pecador ou o santo. Quem quer que chegue perto de você começa a sentir a vibração do amor, é alegrado. O amor é doação incondicional mas somente aqueles que têm são capazes de dar.

Por fim, tenho pra mim que vou ser uma grande pesquisadora. Adoro muito escrever. Confio muito no meu potencial e vou contribuir muito com pesquisas e descobertas (manifesting)

Tive uma brisa dessas esses dias, junto o útil e o agradável. Quando eu era menor eu queria ser jornalista hshhs

Enfim, é isso (por enquanto)

Socorro, de última hora meu primo me mostra um print de um ex querido sendo homofóbico. GENTE. Que livramento.

byebye

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