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asoftepiloguemylove · 9 months

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Cameron Awkward-Rich THEORY OF MOTION (4): ANOTHER MIDDLE-CLASS BLACK KID TRIES TO NAME IT (via @sweatermuppet) // Wayne Koestenbaum "Figure;" My 1980s and Other Essays // Mary Lambert "Why I Slept With Makeup on for Five Years;" Shame Is an Ocean I Swim Across // Keaton St. James DYSPHORIA CREEK // Richard Siken "Birds Hover the Trampled Field;" War of the Foxes (via @newvision) // Greta Moran Slow First

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brights-place · 2 months

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Hello :D I really love your writing and can't find creek content anywhere else so thanks for carrying the simps

Could I get creek with an insecure or trans male reader? Thank you ♡

Creek with an Trans! S/O

Pairing: Creek X S/O

Warnings: Transphobia, cursing, and fluff

A/N: I hate this little shit- I MEAN! Thank you for the request! Of this lovely troll that I def don’t hate and want to rip his organs out AHEM! Anywayssss It’s all good! Your like my 8th request so it’s fine! plus I love writing requests for all of you even if it includes that bitch of an troll (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

- Creek dating an trans s/o is so cute in my view! - If your having dysphoria his approach is quiet and relaxed - He cradled your head to his chest, soothing you with calming words and gentle caresses to clear your mind. - This little hippie would try get you to do meditation techniques for calming you down and helping to clear your mind - He'll ask you what he can do and what you need in that moment knowing that what worked last time might not work now - He's good at slipping little affirmations into conversation even if it's just restating your pronouns to you and makes sure to give you positive energy and make you feel good mentally - If you didn't want to open up to him that's alright! he understands and will be there by your side no matter what!

- The thing is Creek may be ca;m and selfish but if someone is transphobic to you he would smile sweetly but in his mind his is imagining himself full force clocking that mother fuckers face if they tried disrespecting you - He would be your biggest supporter when it comes to you being trans. - When he see's you staring at yourself in the mirror too long he'd go behind you kiss your hand and kiss your face - Pet names to the max with this man you get complimented by him 24/7 telling you "Your such an pretty boy" - Helps you take your testosterone every chance he gets since he wants to help! - If your taller + able to carry him around? He's jumping into your arms smirking - ADORES your top surgery scars and kisses them Let's you kiss his freckles if he can also kiss your scars - Buys you male clothes all the time and sometimes make you both match - Every time your insecure he'd comment on how your an handsome man which makes you melt - Your broke and need money for the stuff you need? He's gotchuuu! - Binder! He paying! You need money for an therapist so you can get diagnosis and get testosterone? Already paying! you need new haircut? Well creek will beg you his s/o to let him - You don't even get an choice he already payed and makes sure you don't know... YOU DO KNOW HE CA'T HIDE IT! - This man will force you to do yoga to relax you and help you try not to be anymore stressed

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact

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yuribeam · 3 months

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tagged by @yurinullification for 5 albums I like! tyy ❤️

the eternal classic on repeat i always have to sing along to, self titled Hozier

Psychopomp, Japanese Breakfast. reading her book crying in hmart made this even better ❤️‍🩹

Transgender Dysphoria Blues, Against Me! I got to see Against Me! with my gf a few years ago it was a very sweet t4t date night 🥹

Ephemera, Little Green Cars. not much to say about this one it's just a good one to listen to when I can't make a decision. and my name's in this song so they get points for that

Bury Me At Makeout Creek, Mitski. I love all her albums I've listened to, have not listened to the new one yet bc I am already crying enough lol

ok I'm actually doing 6 bc I need to add Salt by Angie McMahon. didn't know who she was until we saw her open for Hozier, charming little Aussie woman steps on the stage and opens up with this huge voice in person oh my god. great compliment to hoziers music too he never misses with the openers

tagging @emma-the-rose @ang3lic-stardust @garfieldildo @thedeliaishere @hatake @haku23 @sundancefemme @jacqylfrost @transgender-ventilation-duct @white-chalk-sapphomet

#my posts #tag game

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cowboy-heart · 7 days

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'i have something i need to get off my chest' - on dysphoria, cannibalism and idioms

(ID in read more)

[Image ID: an original poem titled: ‘I Have Something I Need To Get Off My Chest’

the last shingle fell as did I onward toward something something something.

I am loss I am anger I am clattering and shattering I can take a bit more of a battering. I want I want I want to be lost in an open mouth teeth clacks leave cracks in my hollow bones rearranged in the roll of a tongue until I’m something I can bare to look down at when I am bare. speak slowly or not at all speak too slow and you are not of mental capacity I am at capacity.

cough up all your soil the worms of your gut do not be too much do not be too desperate do not expect to get what you want my situation is dire –

I am reduced to my bones but it’s the flesh I give a damn about.

the body is yours as long as you don’t alter it those with glass bones should not throw rocks ignore the cobwebs in your joints creak along for the sake of others oh it’s just one of those days they’re all one of those days. we’re all just renters here live in but do not touch do not change live but do not own god forbid you want something else don’t we all?

enough enough I long to want. full to the brim unable to stomach another bite I want to be full of myself when the going gets stiff upper lip like those cadavers you will one day be we can tell we can always tell pick apart my rotten flesh and toss aside the sinews dig me up and desecrate my soul. I’ll cross that bridge when I burn find me in the ashes tackle the bullet right into your lungs more pain no gain. I’ll pull you apart by the skin with my teeth paddle up the creek of shit you spew. please god, break my leg, I’m in dire need of remoulding I’ll rejoice over spilt milk finally free. no no that’s not right remember remember collect the fragments and push onward towards pieces pieces pieces I don’t know what to say what was it you said ah yes! yes!

let’s call it a day try again tomorrow nothing a good night’s sleep won’t exacerbate.

end ID]

#writeblr #poetry #my writing #trans #trans poetry #gender dysphoria #writing #original poetry #described #image described #escapril #escapril 2024

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strange-ghoul · 1 year

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Comfort (Transmasc Reader x Cardinal Copia)

You come out to the Cardinal, and he realizes that you haven't been taking care of yourself so well. Don't fret! He's here to help you through this tough time and get you squeaky clean.

Word count: 4,342 Rating: General Audiences || Fluff

Posted On AO3

The night was bright; the full moon was shining upon the gardens below. Here you sat on a balcony that overlooked those gardens. You watched as the wind blew harmlessly past some rose bushes. The garden was well kept, all thanks to Primo, which had always been your safe place. Tonight, however, you couldn't bring yourself to walk along the paths.

Honestly, you were lucky to be out at all. You hadn’t left your dorm in about a week, only to do your mandatory chores and to snag food before going back to eat in your room. You’ve heard only a few whispers from some siblings, but you tried not to let it bother you.

Your dorm became your second safe place, next to the gardens. You had covered all the mirrors and the windows were constantly shut. You had your books to occupy you and whatever videos you saw on your phone. You were currently saving for a small TV, but that was going to be a minute.

This past week, your body and gender dysphoria was getting worse and worse, more than it ever has before. You weren’t out to anybody, as you were terrified of ever coming out. It wasn’t that you thought they’d hate you, no, quite the opposite actually; the clergy was overwhelmingly accepting of everything and anything. Your deep seated trust issues however formed by a long ago negative reaction made you untrusting all the same. Plus, all the change scared you. It was a good change, absolutely, but you felt so much anxiety in having this change that you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. So you barred yourself off. Finding any and all reasons not to wear the dreading habit and not to engage in any social situations in which your gender might come into question.

The night is where you get some time to yourself. You often came out to walk through the garden and breathe. Occasionally you’d help Primo where you could when you saw something amiss while the old man was sleeping. But even recently you didn’t have any energy to go all the way down there to sit and bask in the moon’s light.

You leaned against the railing. You were wearing your habit because it was still early enough where a few siblings might still be walking. You’d rather not have any rumors floating around about losing faith. You hadn’t been really able to do anything with your faith since your issues started to worsen, however this did not mean you were losing it.

There was a creek behind you, and you barely turned your head. The door was wide open, but nobody was there, with the exception of a rat sitting near the doorway. The hair on the back of your neck stood up.

“Hello?” You called out, voice meek.

“Sister.” You jumped out of your skin, the voice right next to you. Copia was already leaning against the rail, looking at you. He wore his black cassock and his eyes had the racoon makeup you always endeared.

“Oh! Cardinal! I’m so sorry, I didn’t notice you,” You apologized, rubbing the back of your neck. You went to shut the door before returning next to him.

“It is quite alright, Sorella. How have you been? I have not seen you in what feels like ages!” Copia asked, a comfortable smile on his lips. You sigh, feeling shitty from the title but knowing he meant well. He didn’t know anyways, so it was in no way his fault. Still, it hurt.

“Yes, yes.. I’ve been… alright,” Your voice faltered, whatever facade you were trying to put up was failing miserably.

“You are a terrible liar. Please, tell me what is on your mind,” Copia’s voice was soft and welcoming, and a part of you just wanted to get stuck in it forever. He reached out for your hand on the rail and gently laid his hand on yours. His thumb caressed the back of your hand.

“Nothing, Cardinal. I’ve just… I’ve got a lot on my mind,” You muttered, looking off into the horizon.

“Let me silence your mind then. You’ve been missing, more than usual, might I add. Some of the others have seen you without your habits and occasionally missing from mass- what is going on, cara?” He turned to you and he grabbed your hand, peeling it off the rail and holding it in both his hands, “Did something happen? Have you lost faith?” He murmured. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, his voice quiet as if whispering heresys. His eyes were cast downwards, locked on your hands.

“No!” You said, a bit too loud which made him flinch, “I’m sorry, that was loud. No, I.. I have not lost faith. I just…” You took a shaky breath in,

“Yes, sorella?”

“Please, please stop calling me that.” You took your hand back and noticed how much you were shaking. You grabbed the rail tightly again, hands clammy.

“I do not feel… like a sister.” Copia went silent, his brows furrowed.

“Do you not feel cared for within the clergy? I am sorry, I did not realize-”

“No, Cardinal. I do not feel like a girl. I… oh Satanas,” You groaned. This was happening. You were doing it. And to one of the most highest ranking clergy members. You were terrified.

You don’t remember when you collapsed to your knees, or when you buried your face into his shoulder as you sobbed against him, or when you crawled into his lap and he held you. All you remember is the amount of frustration, anxiety, pain, and hurt finally all spilling out in one go. You’ve got no idea how long you cried in his arms but now your head was pounding and you weren’t even sure if he knew why.

“Copia…” You muttered finally.

“Yes?”

“I want… I want to be more like a boy. I.. I’m not a girl.” Copia pulled back, and for a moment, you feared you'd made a big mistake. But instead, he wiped your hot tears away. He kissed the top of your forehead and you looked down. He brought a hand under your chin, drawing you to look up at him.

“Then be a man, fratello,” He looked away, his face turning red before turning back, “May I… kiss you? For comfort, of course.” You smiled and nodded. He leaned in, kissing you delicately on the lips. He was soft and tentative but held you close to him. You kissed back and your hands grabbed at his clothes in a desperate ploy to keep him close to you.

He pulled back and analyzed your face for a moment.

“Ah, we must change your clothes. These habits simply won’t do. Come, I’m sure we can grab some for you. I’ll give you some tips on how I managed pre-t,” He got up and extended a hand towards you. You took it and the two of you headed into the abby.

“How you managed pre-testosterone?” You echoed in awe.

“Si! I am a self-made man, caro. As are you. We should start the rather long process to get you what you need to help you transition as well. Though I’m sure with the Ministry’s reputation, we can speed up that process.” He winked at you and you smiled brightly.

The two of you took off to the laundries. You paid no attention to the looks the two of you got as the both of you ran, hand in hand. Once in there, he began digging through the clean clothes, asking an assortment of questions to gauge the right size for you. You watched him and felt yourself tear up again. Nobody had ever gone to such an extent to make you feel comfortable.

He looked up right at the time a tear fell from your face. He gasped and rushed over to you, “No! No more crying, why are you crying brother?”

You gave him a smile and hugged him. You held him closely, squeezing him, “Thank you,” you whispered. He hugged you back, and gently patted your hair.

“Of course, I can’t have my star sibling feeling down, now can I?” He pulled back.

The door opened to the laundromats and entered one of the senior sisters.

She raised an eyebrow at the scene, “Now what are you two doing out of bed so late?” Her voice was teasing and light.

“Ah! We’re getting Brother here some new clothes. These habits don’t work for him any more,” Copia managed, pulling back and bringing the clothes out like a child presenting a drawing to his mother. The elder sister looked over to you, and you just smiled and nodded sheepishly.

“Ah, well leave this place as clean as you came in please. I hate having to fix it,” She waved as she dropped the basket she was holding, “Goodnight Cardinal, goodnight Brother!” And off she was. The two of you basked in silence, you felt like you were glowing.

“I think I found your size now, let’s head back to yours and take out the rest of your habits. By tomorrow, I will make sure you have a full new laundry set with your dimensions.” The two of you took off back up to your dormitories. There weren’t as many siblings in the halls and you could gander it was getting close to midnight.

“How are you feeling?” Copia asked as you two got to your door.

“Better than I have in the last few years. Relieved? Light?” You tried to answer, “I just feel.. Okay. But not in the ‘im alright’ type way, but that everything is going to be okay. I’m sorry, I’m rambling.” You opened the door and gestured him in, he followed in and looked around the room.

There were your personal clothes littering the room, cans and cups stacked up on your nightstand and books lying around with something random to keep a bookmark on a page. The room was shrouded in darkness, and when he clicked on the light it just felt more depressing.

“Never be sorry for rambling to me, but… Oh my. What is with all the… eh… cloth?”

“Oh! I was uh… covering the mirrors…” You were quiet as you took them down. Your breath hitched as you caught a glimpse of yourself for the first time in a week. You looked tired and frail. You watched yourself as you took off the veil over your hair and saw how greasy your hair was. You felt lopsided. You forgot how you haven’t shower in a week due to your dysphoria and you became even more insecure.

As if he was reading your mind, he rushed to your side, “Let’s ignore the mirrors and room for now. Do you have a bath connected here?” He walked towards the door on one of the side walls of the room and noticed how small the bathroom was after opening. The mirror in that room was cracked, some of the shards still splayed the ground. You winced and looked away in shame. He looked over with pity but didn’t say anything.

“Ah, well maybe come back to my room after we’re done in here for you to relax. You’ve been in here for too long- if you’re okay with that?” You hesitated a moment before nodding slightly, “Do not worry fratello, I will not try anything. I am not like the Papas,” You chuckled at that and sat on the bed. He walked over your clothes and opened the closet. Most of your personal clothes were falling off their hangers or stuffed into one of the three bottom drawers of the closet. Your habits sat on the very end of the closet, untouched and dusty for the most part.

Copia grabbed a handful and laid them over his arm, then he grabbed the rest and did the same. He spun on his heel, “Can you grab your makeup and whatever else you use? Like binders, or a sports bra, really anything caro. I’m going to drop these off in the laundry.” You nodded and he left the room quickly. You delicately walked into the bathroom, grabbing your makeup bag and then going to the closet and taking out two of the binders you owned. You sat on the bed and waited for him. You ignored the mirrors as much as you could, terrified to fall back into the loop you’ve been going through for years now. For once, even if it’s just for tonight, you wanted to be content.

Copia came back quickly, and the two of you walked across th1`e Abby to get to his sleeping quarters. The halls became dim and more decorated gothic till you stopped at his doors. He opened them, allowing you to step in.

His room had a balcony overlooking the garden. He had a fireplace with chairs around it, a queen sized bed, a book shelf, and a larger-than-yours bathroom. At least, it was larger than your closet-under-the-stairs bathroom. In the corner of the room was a large cage filled with different enrichments for his multiple rats.

You made your way to the balcony and noticed how much of the garden you could see up here; you briefly wondered if he’s seen you walking in the garden the previous nights.

“Bello, no? I like to sit up here and feed my rats during the evenings. It’s much cooler.”

“It is, the night is also so much calmer. Less squinting from the glares of the sun,” You commented. He nodded and then laid out your clothes on his bed.

“Relax for a bit, I’m going to run the bath and get it warm for you.” You nodded and walked over to his bookshelf. You read the spines, occasionally taking a book out to flip through it to get a better understanding of it. You noticed he had a lot of books in Latin, and you wondered if he’d teach you if you asked. You heard some chirping and you looked over to his rat cage where they seemed to be staring at you from their various little houses. You cooed at them, giving a little wave when the bathroom door opened up.

“Come, topolino!” You waved bye to the rats and went over to the bathroom.

Copia’s cassock was discarded on the bathroom counter and he was wearing his black pants and a black long sleeved button up.

“Can you undress for me?” He asked hesitantly, before shaking his head vigorously, “Not like that though!! I mean- I want to help you- like… groom you, eh?” He stumbled through, his ears and face turning red with embarrassment.

“I… I would like that. Yes,” You answered, though unsure what he meant fully. You turned towards the bathroom to begin the shimmy of undressing, when you stopped. You met eyes with yourself and it felt like you were staring at a stranger.

He noticed your hesitancy and got behind you, “May I help you?” He asked softly.

“... please,” your voice was weak and you turned to face him and away from the mirrors. He nodded in understanding, kissing the top of your head delicately before taking off your garb.

The habit came off fairly easily and the clothes under it were just a shirt and shorts. He was much more careful with the underclothes; he tried not to linger in any certain place in fear of making you uncomfortable. Once the shirt and shorts were off he folded them and sat them on the counter. He looked over at you and noticed how you were now looking at the ceiling, your body slightly shaking.

“Fratello, look at me please.” You obeyed, looking back down to him, “You are a handsome man, si? Your body might not be the most optimal, but it will always be equally as handsome and beautiful as you are on the inside. Lucifer loves you despite your fears, as do I. You are a man, despite the changes that haven't happened yet, and I and everyone else will always see you as one.” He grabbed your chin and his thumb ran across your cheekbone. His eyes were filled with endearment. He gingerly made you raise your arms with his hands and took off the sports bra. You shivered at the cold air and cringed at the vulnerable feeling.

“You are very handsome and you’re going to get through this,” He whispered tenderly. You nodded. He bent down and helped pull your underwear off. You once again cringed, hating every second of this. He wasted no time in setting these items to the side and rushing you to the bathtub. You put a foot in and shivered. Going from cool heat to hot water always makes your hair stand up.

You sat in the water and leaned against the wall. There were a light amount of bubbles already in the water, hiding your body from yourself effectively enough. He took his gloves off and rolled up his sleeves. He grabbed a cup that was on the counter and filled it with bath water, then kneeled down beside you on the floor and dumped it over your head. He cupped a hand at your eyebrows so you wouldn’t get any water in your eyes. He did this a few more times, making sure your hair was thoroughly drenched before reaching over to grab the shampoo. He poured a bit into his palm and sat the bottle on the floor. He sat up on the bath’s ledge this time, rubbing his hands together to make sure the soap got on both hands and then running his hands through your wet hair.

You leaned into it, his fingers feeling nice against your unkempt hair and itchy scalp. You let out a content sigh as he scrubbed gently, making sure he lathered it well. He cleaned behind your ears and ran a hand from the bottom of your hair up.

“Do you want to cut your hair?” He asked softly.

“Satanas yes,” You looked up to him, “Can you?”

“I don’t think it is a good idea for me to cut your hair, but we can get someone tomorrow morning to do it professionally. Would you like that?” You nodded and he smiled, “Good. I’ll call ahead first thing tomorrow.”

He grabbed the cup again and began to wash the soap out of your hair. He still lightly scrubbed your hair as he did this, pulling out any tangles as he went.

Then he grabbed the conditioner and poured quite a bit out. He was delicate when applying it but made sure it got everywhere he could reach in your hair. He then pulled back, admiring his work for a second before grabbing a hand cloth from behind him and dumping it in the bathtub. He took it out and wringed it out of its water before applying body soap, which he also got from behind him.

“Caro, is it okay if you stand up for a bit? I need to wash you. I promise I’ll be quick.” You nodded hesitantly and slowly stood up. The cold air nipped at your skin and you tried to cover your breasts with your arms so you didn’t have to notice them. He moved with purpose and precision without missing a second. He started at your legs, working his way up and going over your nether regions lightly.

“Mi dispiace but is it okay if I…?”

“Yes, just… be fast please.” He nodded and you took a wider stance so it was easier for him to clean. He was true to what you asked, wiping the area down and going over the pubic hair. Light enough where you weren’t entirely uncomfortable, but enough to make it got you clean. You closed your legs as he dumped the washcloth into the bathtub and cleaned it off, reapplying soap before standing up. He cleaned your stomach and then went over your arms. He indicated for you to turn and so you did. He got your back and went up your neck. He went around your neck, making you giggle.

He chuckled in amusement, “Ah, ticklish fratello?”

“Slightly! Don’t exploit that!” You warn, looking over and playfully glaring.

He shook his head, “Wouldn’t dream of it, caro.” He grabbed your shoulders and shifted you to face him, “However, I do need you to uncross your arms,” You cringed, “Si, si I know. Only for a moment. You need to be clean, and we’ll discuss better ways to do this later, I promise. I doubt you want me to always be the one to clean you.”

“But what If I do?” You ask softly, “I mean not forever, but until I feel better.” He hummed, grabbing your arms and gently pulling them off you to expose your chest.

“I’ll help you in any way you need, mi caro.”

He was quick to soap you off the rest of the way and allowed you to sit back in the bathtub. He left the bathroom for a few minutes before reappearing with a towel and some pajamas.

“Your water will be getting cold soon, you should get out,” He suggested softly. You groaned, not wanting to have to face the mirror before slowly dragging yourself out. He opened the towel and you practically fell into it. He wrapped it around you, bringing you into a backwards hug. He snuggled into you, his body pressing tightly behind you as he nuzzled into your neck. You laughed slightly, feeling relief wash over you as you realize the harder part of the evening was over.

“Alright, change into these and I’ll be waiting for you out here. Can you do that?”

“Yep! I’ll be out in a minute.” He left the room and you slowly shrugged the towel off. You ignored the mirror completely and quickly got your sports bra and underwear on. It helped being able to only see clothes and not the skin. Then you put on the silk pants he gave you and an oversized cotton long-sleeved shirt. They were both big on you, but it worked well for now. You assumed that these were probably his clothes, and your face got a little hot. You look yourself over in the mirror, and you felt a little better about yourself.

You left the bathroom and saw Copia sitting in one of the chairs with a brush on the arm of the chair and scrolling through his phone. He was now in his own pajamas, and the fire was going bright and proud. He put his phone down and smiled brightly once you entered.

“Come here, let me brush your hair. I noticed it was becoming matted, much worse than the rat nests that my pets create,” He joked, motioning you towards him. You chuckle, then followed his orders. He pointed to the floor and you gave him a confused look.

“Sit down there, it'll be easier to brush your hair. I already booked a hair appointment for tomorrow as well.”

“Thank you so much, Copia,” You said as you sat down. He hummed, and ran a hand through your hair. He then began brushing your hair while absently humming a tune.

“You mentioned you’ve done testosterone, have you been through anything else?” You ask without really thinking. You were too deep in thought, staring into the fire as it crackled and popped.

“Si, I have. I’ve medically transitioned as much as is safe for me.” Your thoughts begin to go elsewhere, and your face heats up. You can’t tell if it’s the heat from the fire or thinking of his bottom surgery, and you’d rather not find out, “Though, you do not need to medically transition. You don’t even need to go on ‘t’ if you don’t want to, caro. Do what you think is right on this journey, not what others think you should be doing.” You hummed and a comfortable silence filled the room.

He was careful with his brushing, always grabbing your hair at the scalp if it was a rather tough tug to minimize any potential pain. It took nearly five minutes to get your hair under control.

“Ahh, all done. Now, I want to know, do you wish to do makeup now, or go to sleep and do it tomorrow? It’s just what I find helps best with outlining your more masculine features, so it’s no rush,” He asked, putting the brush down. You got up and sat at the chair opposite of his.

“I think I’d like to sleep. So much has happened and I just want to take it all in, y’know?”

He nodded in understanding, “Si. I will sleep on the couch. You can use the bed.”

You gave him an incredulous look, “What? Your bed is big enough for the both of us, if you want to share that is.” He looked surprised for a second, but nodded.

“Of course, as long as you are comfortable fratello.” You two got up and went to the bed.

The both of you set up your little areas and you stiffly got under the covers, not realizing how different it feels to sleep in someone else's bed. He took note of this.

“Are you okay with this?” He asked cautiously, unsure of how to approach the situation.

“Yes, I’m just… not used to this. At all,” You muttered. It was a lot to take in. The love and care from the cardinal was so much, and you just didn’t understand it fully. He scooted closer to you, wrapping his arms around your lower abdomen.

“Is… this okay?” He whispered into your ear, setting his head down on your shoulder.

“Yeah,” You whispered back. He kissed you slightly on the neck, breathing you in. Your hand fell onto his, and slowly darkness consumed you both. In the comfort of each other's arms, cared and loved for.

#cardinal copia x reader #transmasc reader #trans copia #the band ghost #ghost bc #papa emeritus iv #cardinal copia x trans reader #fluff #comfort #grooming #(as in cleaning and taking care of oneself)#coming out #acceptance #my fanfics

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one-silly-cart00nist · 6 months

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Creek Week Day 1: AU [Cisswap]

I love and adore the trans!Mark headcanon of both @bonkerbuster69 and @twuizzy but it also inspired me to think about how different (and still the very same) Mark would be without all the self-hatred and gender dysphoria and just facing common girl problems since birth.

Competitive as hell

Guys probably hate being challenged and falling second to her because she rubs it in their faces

Still the smartest person in class with a "well actually" attitude

Gets into verbal conflicts when she calls people out on their bullshit (I mean, this is just canon except she'd control her emotions better)

Snappy, has a temper, flips people off on a daily basis (this would also be canon if the source material was aimed at older audiences)

Hates the “is it your time of the month” way people try to shut her up

Hell to handle on her actual bloody week, refuses to use meds (just out of stubbornness to handle it), will slap you with a used pad

Probably punched a guy before for being misogynist/homophobic/generally an asshole

Thinks she’s aroace until belated realisation she’s head over heels for David

GAY for David, brain shutdown noises

Still autistic and doesn’t bother masking

Still doesn’t like being touched unless she initiates it first

Still DMs of course and wears her cape to the creek

Is as theatrical as in canon but gags at the theatre kids because the teacher didn’t let her as a girl play the dragon in seventh grade

Fuck gender roles

Fuck beauty standards

Would probably be more embarrassed about liking mahou shoujo than canon Mark

Parents probably don’t understand her interests and wish she was girlier; get her pink princess presents that she has no use for

Less socially inept but not really interested in making acquaintances aside Barry & David

I really like the idea that opposed to trans!Mark who wants to affirm her gender and be feminine, cisswap!Mark would push away from it as a way to establish herself and distance herself from the other girls, or just because she can't be bothered to put that effort into fitting the mold.

#cotcweek2023 #creek week 2023 #didn't actually have creative juice to write but here I present headcanons #a lil drabble is coming tomorrow though #elders of the creek #elder mark #headcanon #lowkey came to the conclusion that cisswap Mark would very much just be a nerdier Tabitha #the sisterhood is undeniable

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bunni-bonez · 6 months

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BREAKING: LOCAL DOLL MAKES TOPSTER BECAUSE SHE HAS PERFECT TASTE

all albums:

Row 1:

Transgender Dysphoria Blues - Against Me!

Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge - My Chemical Romance

Born to Die - Lana Del Rey

Preacher's Daughter - Ethel Cain

Bury Me at Makeout Creek - Mitski

Row 2:

The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

Electra Heart - MARINA

Norman Fucking Rockwell -Lana Del Rey

Melodrama - Lorde

Puberty 2 - Mitski

Row 3:

Maggot - Dazey and the Scouts

Boy Fantasy EP - Boy Fantasy (my fave hyperpop project its so good)

Be The Cowboy - Mitski

10000 Gecs - 100 Gecs

Honeyblood - Honeyblood

Collide with the Sky - Pierce the Veil

Row 4:

My Agenda - Dorian Electra

Cry Baby - Melanie Martinez

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance

Whatever People Say I am, That's What I'm Not - Arctic Monkeys

Selfish Machines - Pierce the Veil

1000 Gecs - 100 Gecs

Row 5:

If I Can't Have Love, I want Power - Halsey

Ta13oo - Denzel Curry

Abandon the Flesh! - Tokyopill

I Brought You My bullets, you Brought Me Your Love - MY Chemical Romance

Come Over When You're Sober Pt. 1 - Lil Peep

Myspace Addiction - 6arelyhuman

Sempiternal - Bring Me The Horizon

Favourite Worst Nightmare - Arctic monkeys

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy - Kanye West (im sorry)

Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die - Panic! At the Disco (their best album dont @ me)

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mitamicah · 2 months

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Returning the ask: 9, 20 and 76 :)

Hehehe nice :3

Thank you for the questions :D The answers will be under the line because I am babbling x'D

9. Tattoos I want:

Oh boy I have way too many ideas :'D Like you I am not great with needles but having learned that some piercing placements and tattoo needles in general are not bothering me that much comparred to hospital needles on top of me loving the result enough to endure the uncomfortability of the needles for a tme I have found myself addicted x'D (that said my longest tattoo session so far has been 2 hours so I might change tune the day I try a full day session x'D)

Here's a list of ideas I have rn that may or may not come true (the ones with the asterix are the ones I have the most faith in will happen while the ones with the " at the end are ones where I need help from somebody else to get the idea across):

'Are You' written on my arm in Bojan's handwriting "

Lyrics from Cha Cha Cha under my chest (with some sort of visual on the chest itself - rn thinking of a fox in the bolero) post top surgery *"

SOMETHING from a talented artist in Finland * (this may seem vague and it is - the deal is that I have a date where I want to get a tattoo yet challenged myself to chose a flash or available design from an artist so to not overthink the design as I sometimes tend to do)

A fox with flowers on my right shoulder (a flash from an artist I like)

An eevee next to Flapjack on my left arm

A bulbasaur with spiked collar and/or bowlcut hair

Spirit with or without Little Creek from Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmarron somewhere on my left arm

A converse shoe with the words 'I lost my dam shoe' around it on my shin

Misteltoe branches around my rune tattoo on my left arm

The tree birds concept (x) over my right collarbone or on my right thigh

A candle under my left knee

My singer alias logo somewhere on my arm or leg

I've kept the explainations at the miminum here yet if you are curious about any of the ideas feel free to ask :3

20. Height:

I'm pretty happy with being able to say that I am around the height of the average Danish guy :3 (177-8 cm/5,10'') Tbh that is one thng I've always been very grateful for even before learning that I was trans :'D

76. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't?

Probably singing in front of people: When I was younger I was told by my mother and sister especially that my singing voice was shit and I believed them, and yet now I run to karaoke events lke a moth to a flame, sing tenor in a choir and make my own songs from time to tme. I love being proven wrong sometimes x'D

Another one is wearing a crop top or just in general having an exposed midsection out in public. This is another thing that in part has been influenced by my mother since she was very keen on putting me and her in a box together as 'people who were too big to be wearing crop tops'. (the other reason I never thought I'd do it is my own insecurities with my body that is influenced by gender dysphoria). This one I have to thank Käärijä and the kääryleet for debunking for me: Who cares if I am not 'the right size' for a crop top!?

I think that was it for now :3 thank you for the question yet again :D

#the more I rant about the tattoos I want the more I am tempted to make it a series on my secondary (diary) blog x'D #just me going into details with all my ideas :'D #so to also see which ones stand the test of time :3 #another detail not mentioned here about my tattoo ideas is that I sort of want to make my right into a 'small pals' arm #meaning that it will be an arm full of little tattoos of cute characters and animals #it is where I have my first tattoo being flapjack from the owl house #so I feel like it would be cute just filling out my arm (half or full sleeve) with similar little guys :D #hence why I was thinking about putting Eevee Bulbasaur and Spirit there #and maybe if I find tattoo artist with adorable lttle original creatures they could go on that arm as well #can you imagine me wth a sleeve full cute little guys :'D?#it would be so nice :'D #so yeah lots of ideas so little tme x'D #replies

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sillysaurus · 2 months

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☆ about me ☆

SFW!!!

☆ u can call me lucario

☆ this is my agere blog, i regress involuntarily sometimes and try to voluntarily but its hard to get fully into headspace. but i age dream a lot and experience age dysphoria

☆ ive been regressing on and off for years but now i want it to stay a part of my life

☆ i am a boy, he/him

☆ big age 17 (18 this year)

☆ small age fluctuates (5-7 commonly, 8-12 commonly, 0-4 rarely)

☆ autism, trauma, and mental illness

☆ im also a furry

☆ other: aroace, punk, metalhead, nonhuman, disabled

☆ still trying to figure out how to link my post with my kins to this post

☆ i post: art, picrews, game content, cartoon content, plushies, mood/stimboards, you can request but i might not do them

things i like!!

☆ blue! 🫐💙🩵📘🌀💤

☆ dinosaurs 🦕

☆ animals (fish!) 🐾🐰🐷🐛🦑🐡🪼

☆ nature 🪶🌿🪨🌻

☆ space (stars!) 🧑🏻‍🚀🌙🪐💫⭐️🚀🌠

☆ stuffies 🧸

☆ toys, puzzles, legos 🧩🚙🚜🚃🛩️

☆ arts and crafts 🧶🎨🖍️

☆ cleancore 🫧🧼🛁🧽🧴

☆ stimboards/moodboards!!

☆ games: animal crossing (PC ID is 1209 6237 701), stardew valley, slime rancher, cookie run, pokemon, minecraft, sunshine days, my singing monsters, cooking mama

☆ tv: tmnt, craig of the creek, the nightmare before christmas, clarence, rugrats, octonauts, bubble guppies, summercamp island, max and ruby, dinosaur train, ruby gloom, team umizoomi, wonder pets, powerpuff girls, strawberry shortcake, paw patrol, blues clues, we bare bears, bluey, spookiz, spongebob, alvin and the chipmunks

DNI

nsfw/kink of any kind

proshippers

post about religion excessively

if u have triggering themes on ur account: gore, s/h, excessive blood, etc. (agere/sfw content from horror sources is okay!)

republicans, conservatives, right wing, etc

BYF

please don't swear/curse on my blog

if u happen to find my main please dont share this account or tell anyone who i am

i am not interested in a cg or friends, we can still be mutuals though :3

#age regression #agere #about myself #about my blog #blog intro #intro post

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ilovetodrinkwater · 3 months

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debilitating dysphoria as i struggle to put away the daycare slide but in 2 hours i get to smoke weed by the creek so don’t worry everyone

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binglebangledotcom · 3 months

Note

OKAY HERE I AM

These are all going to take place during that first time period when they are like 12 + it's gonna have agere of course

So, first of all, consider:

Nonbinary Erina, nonbinary Dio. They exchange clothes. They guide eachother through the parts of childhood they couldn't experience. Erina gives Dio their old dresses and teaches them how to braid hair. Erina is a second big bro for baby Dio because it helps with their dysphoria!!

Jona is confused at first but then is like "omg so youre like if a man and a woman had a baby" and they just let him be because George genes are acting up and he won't understand any better💔

Erina is usually a big sib babysitter, but occasionally will regress to so bby Dio has a playmate! They love playing by the creek and drawing together

Erina is so skilled when it comes to things like drawing, crotcheting etc. They make toys all by themself and sew clothes for dolls!

They also love getting messy while playing because girlhood and not being allowed to get their clothes dirty💔 Erina will jump puddles when small, tumble in the mud, get jam all over their clothes... And just jump in the creek afterwards as it's nothing

Okay gonna end here so it isn't too long buttt basically I love making characters nb❤️❤️❤️

Ooohhh I love nb erina 😭 I personally hc dio as ftm BUT nb dio is also high on my list

I love the idea if Erina n Dio exchanging clothes and Jonathan just accepting it !! Big sibby Erina AND playmate Erina oooh Dios so lucky 🥹🥹 I love these thank you for sharing I now feel the need to draw Erina and Dio getting all messy in the mud while Jonathan watches in surprise because he is so used to those two being so proper and clean

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ntls-24722 · 1 year

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i HATE this bitch. but i LOVE HER. I DESPISE THIS BITCH

ok. LISTEN. dont let these cute pics fool you. she's fucked up. but i love her as a character

Clavier is pretty much a bastardization of my Glamrock DJMM concept where he just leaves the plex on account of the fact he's no longer limited to the fact he's like 2 stories tall. There's two timelines of how this plays out that lead to radically different DJMMs, Creek and Clavier. (btw i made them both bigender so i'll be switching up pronouns a lot. so watch out lmao)

Creek, instead of gradually assimilating into society like Clavier, befriended all the birds in a 10 mile radius and used her massive bird army to force the local government into letting her be a person. I adore Creek.

Clavier, on the other hand, had a very slow transition into society which also led to her trying to be as human as she can with modifications to her model, like her face being covered in silicone and having actual eyes instead of black voids of nothingness (this, storywise, comes off a lot like him transitioning, which personally hits home). They also have a lot of... like... dysphoria? Over not being human? Which, originally, mostly led to her "transition" but like, this also lead to... extreme measures. Which leads me to why i want to throw her down the stairs 😳

So, Clavier is aware that there is nothing for her after death since she's powered off and has faced the robot equivalent of death. So she's just scared shitless of that. But he believes that humans do have an afterlife (and, iirc, in fnaf lore, he's right?) that he is unable to access due to not having a soul, which is very convoluting for him as someone who is. very religious.

I forgot to mention but in both timelines, they have a gf who they love the absolute shit out of named Bea. They're so disgustingly in love and its really sweet and Clavier ruins it by being... Clavier. Because she learns about Afton's work and realizes that she could take a soul for herself and hopefully get an afterlife of some kind. (by the way, i feel like its worthy to note that she isn't scared of hell. she doesn't mind suffering for eternity as long as she is somewhere.)

And because he fears that he can't take any old soul, it might possess him and take him over - if he wanted to assimilate with a soul he wants it to be a good one, and he immediately and begrudgingly targets Bea, since he believes she has the greatest soul around.

So he writes down just about EVERYTHING about Bea. Cataloguing hypotheticals, her dreams, everything she loved, and for years he works and works to make them come true so that she wouldn't have regrets when she died. When he feels like it's been enough, he takes her out on one last date and kills her with a shot of pentobarbitol, so she'd die painlessly just as she hoped.

As she withers in his arms she admits that if he had waited just a little longer, she would've proposed to him that night and Clavier is left with the crushing realization of just what he had done and his empty victory of having her soul and heart, torn from her and stuffed inside himself.

get fucked clavier, L bozo

Anyways other than creepy christian DJMM i have Comet as a Bigass House

Usually for versions of Comet I keep him, like, organic? Idk what I was doing here? But i made him into a giant sentient spider house and its also a redesign from this, which changed almost nothing about him.

In the giant list of music man aus he's known as the solarpunk one since in the loosely developed world that he's a part of, its a cool solarpunk future and everyone actually grows much of their own food. The world is back to a massive trading community, it's great

While not a music man, these guys are part of SOS - The hemonymphs, shapeshifting bloodsuckers who all have daddy issues.

They were SUPPOSED to be mosquito people (they still are) but as i developed them they became these weird teethbirds. as weird as they look i actually really love these guys i think they're so silly

Weird bit of their lore, but they're kind of not a species??? They're all siblings since they all almost exclusively come from THIS creepy asshole: Dr. Hemlock, a mistake from the facility (the Oort Cloud) that created Comet - He's a psycho who goes around decapitating people and sucking the soul out of em, and began asexually reproducing to do the same thing to his kids or to use them as pawns. zoinks‼️

#dj music man #djmm #djmm oc #fnaf au #ntls-24722 #(almost) daily music man

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numbuh42k · 2 years

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I’ve been rewatching some KND today, and it’s dawning on me just how much Wally is trans-coded, even if it’s unintentional.

His dad takes him to take your daughter to work day. At least his dad implies that it’s unrelated to whether or not Wally is a boy, he just wants to have his kid with him.

And then there’s Operation: F.U.T.U.R.E., where he gets sent to an all-girls boarding school at the beginning. It’s almost like his parent’s wanted to sent him to an all-boys school... But only the all-girls one would take him. And yeah, it could be that Madame Margaret is targeting Wally because he became the resistance leader, but I still wonder why his parents sent him to an all-girls school. It’s been a question that’s been on my mind since I was a kid, and this is the only answer that makes sense that I’ve come up with so far besides maybe they didn’t know for some reason.

Wally’s aversion to girly things is exaggerated for cartoon value, which makes sense. I do think that the trans-coding of Wally is unintentional. We’re talking Cartoon Network in the early 2000s here, before shows like Steven Universe and Craig of the Creek paved a way for queer rep in cartoons. That being said, the way that Wally reacts to to girlie things reminds me of dysphoria. His reaction to being put in a dress and make-up in Operation: S.L.U.M.B.E.R. (an episode where he’s already pretending to be a girl and is clearly uncomfortable with it) is to scream.

Now I’m not ftm, but I am an afab non-binary person. Dresses don’t tend to bother me; I’m used to them and I think they feel nice. However, I understand hating make-up. I’ve never been a huge fan, but the way people around me say “It makes you look like a nice young woman” drives me CRAZY. I’ve never screamed at dysphoria, but I’ve certainly wanted to at times.

At the end of the day, this is all speculation. I could go into more reasons, but I don’t find it necessary after what’s already been said, and I don’t want it to get any more person, either. This is just meant to be a fun little character analysis, and from what I’ve seen, there have been several other people who headcanon Wally as trans. I just wanted to give my two-cents on why the headcanon works in my personal opinion. I’m sure others have done a much better job explaining why already.

#character analysis #numbuh 4 #wallabee beetles #kids next door #happy pride month to all trans operatives!

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dragon-in-the-mountains · 2 years

Note

Lightfury anon here

How does one cope with lightfury related species dysphoria? Any tips and/or tricks for this?

That's a tricky one because species dysphoria is experienced in a lot of different ways and to different degrees. So to keep it simple, I'll just share how I work with mine~

-Fish! Eating fish dishes really helps me connect to my kintype and gives me that "I just caught my meal" feeling, especially whole-cooked fish (if that's something you like, of course).

-Playing in the water! Light furies are more aquatic dragons and being around streams, rivers, waterfalls, and other bodies of water really helps me feel at home. If you like/can swim, take up some swimming if you have the chance. If not, try just sitting around a creek or stream and put your hands or feet in it.

-Get outside! I'm one of the unfortunates who doesn't have a lot going for me in terms of being outside, but I like to at least get out in the yard when I can. Being outside is just natural for anything and it's good for you. So take some time to go outside and perhaps find a quiet area to get intune with nature. The more secluded and away from human structures or sounds, the better.

-Gear! Now this may or may not be for you, but it certainly helps me! I actually have a light fury ear headband, light fury hand gloves, light fury wings (not the best made and a bit small, but still), and lots of glittery make-up!

-Light fury vocalizations! I like to make all sorts of light fury vocalizations when I can, and sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it! Of course, these silly human vocal cords can't properly mimic a light fury call or anything, but it does so enough that it makes me feel good~

-Draw yourself! I dunno if you're an artist or anything, but if you are, try to draw yourself! It's fun and it feels nice to see yourself as you do. My favorite thing to do when drawing myself is taking photos of nature and draw myself in them to insert myself "into the real world", haha~

So these are what I have that mainly help me, but it's always good to experiment yourself and see what may work even better for you~!

#otherkin #dragonkin #light furykin

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