#dude legit i was thinking about this for days

[fisheito]

how would you eat/cook each nukani character

oh noooooooooo (holds my face in great contemplative agony) u can't do this to me

Eiden: oh mein gotTtTtt getting my hands on eiden would be like receiving an entire cart of summer fresh-from-farm produce. or an entire cow carcass . i would have SO MANY PARTS and SO MANY WAYS to prepare him and every part of him would taste delicious in its own way. there's no way i can ONLY cook eiden one way. i'd have to put him thru every process possible (true to his versatility). i thought about spitroasting him (for the joke) but that's too much eiden for one method. i need to covet him like the king tuna at the fish market as i take him apart piece by piece look. i am frying him like egg for a fast breakfast. i am meticulously grinding him to a paste in a traditional mortar and pestle. i am using him as pesto AND as dipping sauce. i will dehydrate him and drink him as tea. he will be roasted . braised. devoured raw in ceviche. i'll infuse him with vinegars! syrups! oils!! is there a way to make a sourdough starter but it's eidough starter so i can just keep him on my shelf and feed him every day and pass him down for generations? i want eiden for every meal of the day prepared 1000 ways

Aster: would aster taste like blood or the absence of it? hmmmm..... i guess it depends on when he feeds! maybe if i bite into him after a feeding session, he'll burst like a cherry tomato. but otherwise i feel like giving aster the sashimi treatment. put him all fancy on the plate with some garnishes after i treat him with a light citrus wash or smth. a fresh cool flavour!! i'm tempted to make some sort of beverage out of him. dilute him into a fancy mocktail of strange spirits and woody spices. aster juice?!?! looks like pink wine???! i have to treat this one like i'm spoiling him with gifts. he'll probably end up on the artisanal charcuterie board with the fusion jams and marmalades...

Morvay: i feel like he would have a very...particular aroma. he eats a very specialised diet so of everyone in the clan, he has to follow "you are what you eat", right?? my first instinct for some reason is to cure him. like, turn him into prosciutto. if he's gonna have a funky smell, might as well turn up the salt and cure him. tie him up and lock him in the carefully controlled environment of the curing basement. dark... surrounded by other meatbags... slap him around every now and then. slice him up thin and put him on that fancy cheese board with a bunch of other strong smelling foods. slurp him down him with a glass of astringent aster juice to balance out the richness of the morv

Yakumo: soup. he's getting souped. it's only right. might split him half and half into one soup and one stew. maybe the soup will just be a concentrated essence of snek-style broth. like a clear, warming bowl of pho that is DISTILLED YAKUMO and doesn't need much else besides some fave spices to accompany the flavour. as for the stew? i just straight up like stew and it can be so nutritionally complete. so he's going in the classic comfort stew. chunks of yakumo and seasonal vegetables simmered to make a thick hearty pot of glorp. maybe add some alcohol to it if i want to live dangerously. he will sustain me for days to come. anything that i do not turn into soup? i'm going to steam him. a mild little parcel of wrapped yakumo, gently steamed for a hot minute. yakumo tastes best to me when a little wet.

Edmond: to honour his thick sugary ass, i have to turn edmond into some sorta dessert. turn the defrosted ice queen into ice cream? now i could just put edmond in a pot and reduce him until he turns into a syrup but then i would waste all the extra good bits that make up edomon. u need the tsun with the dere and reducing him to pure dere is NOT balanced. he can withstand quite a bit of punishment so maybe i'll whip him up like a custard (by hand FIRST. if that's not strong enough, i'll use an electric hand mixer). turn him into an earl grey creme brulee where u can set him on fire then smack that caramelised crust before spooning out the goopy insides.

Olivine: i feel like i'd wanna enjoy olivine in his least processed form. just enjoy the pure marbled goodness of well-exercised, tender oli. so why not a steak? medium rare to rare? just a little pan-sear and we can chew on him all we want. (i considered searing on a grill, but it's easier around here to get a pan instead of a grill. and oli is all about being accessible to the greatest number of people.) on the other hand, that might not honour oli's nature. he, too, can stand up to a lot of punishment. he might even like it. so part of him can be the relatively unprocessed slab and the other can be a cutlet. that way i can beat him with a hammer, dredge and bread him, then toss him into the deep fryer. to be served with a variety of heavy or creamy sauces.

Quincy: this man is OLD and TOUGH and he probably tastes like every bit of wildlife in the forest combined. then again, he's also always sleeping so does that mean his meat is quite relaxed and i don't have to tenderise forever to be able to chew it? quincy probably eats the simplest diet (no processed microwave preservative type cocktails in here) so he'd be best appreciated in an equally simple dish?? i'd like to skewer him. make him bite-size and cook him over a campfire. alternating with simple salt vs. intricate dry rubs bc i'm not sure which i'd prefer. if he ends up being tough, i'll let him hang out in a savoury marinade for however many days he needs (do NOT make me put a pineapple in there, mister).

Kuya: i lied. **THIS** man is OLD and TOUGH and SINEWY and A BITCHASS to deal with and i bet if i cut him at *just slightly near the wrong spot* then some mystery sac of foul gunk will explode all over me like a punk'd prank. i will take any excuse during the cooking process to abuse this one. grate his rind to infuse in the sauce. mince him for the physical satisfaction then throw him into the blender anyway. toss him violently into a fiery wok and start saute-ing him with every other ingredient ever. i hope you get stabbed by a bunch of pointy carrots. i'll broil him as if he's not already crispy. and I BET at the end of all this work, i'll have somehow have messed up and made him inedible. skill issue. at this point i give up, toss the entire kuya into the pressure cooker, and turn him into stew.

G/Karu: i wanna toss them like a salad (i think they'll have fun with that). i could go the traditional way and make wolf jerky. bring it on the road for a durable snack! if i could somehow chop these two up and turn them into furikake, they could become my convenient, reliable flavour injector for a quick bowl of rice. it's tricky because there are two distinct flavours and they gotta be treated differently to bring out their full potential. but they're also inseparable. what do i do??? i might just put them into my party-type foods where flavours are supposed to mix and it's the wildness of the combos that make it all fun. he's going on the 12-topping pizza!! he's being melted onto the giant tray of nachos!!!

Blade: CAN I EAT THIS? WILL I DIE? WILL MY TEETH BREAK OFF? i have to debone him. i bet there are pointy bits hiding everywhere. get my special tools out and pluck at him for over an hour (i must be thorough). might just put him in the microwave (he'd probably enjoy that). i feel like essence of Blade would also do well as a bubbly drink. mix a simple edroid syrup with some club soda and some edible flowers to look pretty (low calories too!). if the legends are true and blade can adapt to any flavour, i might just turn him into a condiment or special spice mix. grind him to dust and put him in a nice glass container near my stove so i can add him to various foods (the weirder the combo, the better). keep the spirit of experimentation alive with Blade popcorn seasoning!!

Dante: i am gonna make him fragrant as hell. gonna smoke him over intricate spice combos or tea leaves and impart him with the most alluring lung-punchiest sniffs. i don't wanna be too harsh with him but i trust that he'll at least stand up to heat well. he'd probably complain about wasting time, but i'm not rushing the process. u will sit in the smoker and steadily break down over time. maybe after the smoke, i can tuck the odds and ends into a savoury saucy pie. bake him for an hour surrounded by a flaky buttery crust? i might also experiment with some fermentation, like a dante kimchi. i'm curious as to how he'd change flavours given time to age (and just relax for a bit, really).

Rei: i am pickling him. he's gonna become that sour salty lil accompaniment to every meal i have. he'll last forever and somehow never mould and no matter how long i leave him chillin in the fridge, when the time comes to put him on a bun, i know i can rely on him to not suddenly go limp. i still gotta be careful with him tho. can't just stick my fingers in the jar and introduce contaminants all the day because it IS possible to Spoil the Goods idk i just feel like i'd have to let him sit in SOME sort of marinade or brine. if i try to eat him raw i might turn 14 shades of purple before dissolving into radioactive bile

#this is something i never thought about until u brought it up #it felt like zizz pointing to this big button on my head like WHAT'S THIS? #and i respond: uhhm. i don't know. maybe you shouldnt- #zizz: presses the button #[a door on my skull swings open and my brain leaps out. landing on the floor with a wet florpch] #dude legit i was thinking about this for days #if you're wondering whether i was imagining real gore or just fun silly metaphorical cooking #it was oscillating between both. i can't tell where the mind theatre is right now. probably jumping between genres #last night i was tempted to erase my entire blurb for yakumo #and just go I WILL CONSUME HIM. ALIVE. RAW. I WILL VORE HIM STARTING FROM HIS FINGERs #then i slept on it and woke up with inhibition renewed so i left the blurb alone #the clan's all here! #asks

[lateseptemberdawn]

No but like. Men could be the lowest of the low, not be knowing the most basic shit, inept at wit or anything else pertaining to the brain or mind or conscious, and yet the audacity be there. Like. How.

#legit listening to my brother tall of how many qualities he has which mainly just includes having a nice face and using his voice #like this is the dude who is in his last year of high school and absolutely refuses to look at a book for more than half an hour a day #you can imagine the amount of basic knowledgeable he would have with that time period dedicated to studies (not even dedicated hes forcedto) #he knows nothing of the most basic thing needed in class #knows nothing of even the language subjects #and yet thinks just because he can talk he can land a job #theres delusional and then theres this piece of shit #like this family is on the verge of struggling financially and this dude decides to use the lakhs of the rupees worth of tution to eat out #with friends and learn NOTHING #like #im legit so. like i wish he would succeed in life by the sheer power of luck and wishes bc god knows hes a degenerate #yet we care enough to not have him roam around like how it looks like he might bc lets be real if not that he'll end up being a worse pain #but seriously tho how does one be SO behind the very fundamental of human experience and still think their gaming skills and music taste #can save them in this world? #this dude is more or less addicted to his phone and literally like im not exaggerating hes so dumb you have one conversation with him and it #becomes glaringly obvious bc hes so delusional about it that he talks with full confidence but you realise hes not really talking hes just #spitting bs that hes heard on youtube 😭 #not to drag him or anything but im seriously so sympathetic. how much of an idiot do you have to be? #to think HIGH SCHOOL education is worthless? hIGH SCHOOL. Tgats like. the very bottom of it. #worst part is he refuses to acknowledge he should get better 🗿 #so theres no point in helping bc its one steo forward ten steps back with him #and also feels shitty as fuck to be guiding a fucking 18 yo thru SCHOOL #its fucking SCHOOL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

[pe4nutastic]

Old Giegue Art Redraw-Adjacent

Original (POSTED HERE):

REDRAW-ADJACENT THING:

Dialogue in both images: No. I think that someone naming their human child "Porky" is the saddest thing that I have ever heard.

#.giegue (mother series) #.mother 1 #.mother 2 #.peanutart #giegue #giygas #earthbound #mother 2 #earthbound beginnings #earthbound zero #mother 1 #lol what a guy #this dude legit cannot stop talking shit about people #especially Porky on one particular April Fools day a few years back lol #except now this time he has a cool-nerdy jacket lol #that was back when I used a 5? for the brush thickness I think but #for whatever reason decided to go down to a three #maybe I should consider going back up so that when I upload art it doesn't look as fuzzy on tumblr

[designernishiki]

sometimes I kinda wonder if yokoyama has like. some sort of weird personal grudge over majima or something for whatever reason. because it’s honestly really odd and sort of offputting to see a game’s director dislike a widely beloved long-time character who is almost-universally regarded as an icon in the franchise, so vocally to the extent of being rude about it right next to the character’s voice actor (who loves playing him and appreciates him as a character way more)

#and a lot of his comments don’t even make sense? #like. how on earth can you help write/direct yakuza 0 and still consider majima to be some weird creepy guy with no story importance????? #that just. actually does not make any sense. did he just. not pay any attention to his own game #the more I play through the games the more I seriously can’t understand how anyone can play multiple yakuza games and still think of majima #as the one-dimensional mad dog persona and that alone. like he disproves that CONSTANTLY. not just in yakuza 0 but in like every fucking #game he’s in basically??? #it’s very obvious he’s got HELLA depth to him and the DIRECTOR of all people should know that like what are you even Doing bro #bfdjcjkdnfnfnfnv it’s so fucking weird man I don’t get it #this dude legit seems like he’s got a personal issue with majima’s existence or his popularity or something and I don’t know why but it’s #really petty and stupid and absolutely doesn’t excuse being rude about it to Everyone who wants to see more of the character AND the #voice actor who has a great time playing him and clearly loves and cherishes the character and his time playing him a lot #hoping one day we’ll get some wildly unexpected interesting majima content in a game or something and he’ll just go ‘haha sike! I got you!’ #‘pretended to be A Hater so you wouldn’t see this coming!’ #but yeah that’s not gonna happen #rambling #rgg #yakuza #majima #goro majima

[aroaessidhe]

2022 reads // twitter thread  

The Whispering Dark

supernatural YA

a  girl is accepted into a prestigious university that trains students to slip between parallel worlds

but previous students’ mysterious deaths start to make her think her fear of the dark is something more tangible

Deaf MC

necromancy

#The Whispering Dark #aroaessidhe 2022 reads #do you want dark academia? spooky horror? mystery? parallel universe stuff? pick up literally any other book #this is just a creepy romance. none of that potentially interesting stuff. #there’s very little academia or like. going into the parallel worlds thing. it’s mostly about the weird relationship between them #i think it’s also just kind of…….boring? maybe not boring. I just never felt too interested in it #there was one of two bits that were kinda spooky and i was like oh? but thats it. #why is the love interest such a piece of shit. like he’s horrible to her and then suddenly he’s nice I guess? but then the entire time he’s #he’s lying about the fact that they know each other? #like i genuinely mistook him for the other dude she was hanging out with for a few chapters because suddenly they were just fine with each o #actually when she met nate i was like wait is HE the love interest. and the other guy is legit a creep. but no. #also he’s like obsessed with her #why are we pretending “I am deeply sickeningly alarmingly obsessed with you” is romantic. is this twilight. #‘what did i do why are you avoiding me’ YOU MURDERED SOMEONE IN FRONT OF HER? #wait also these was this bit where it was like “he pronounced wednesday a syllabul at a time. wed nes day” sdjjfgsdjgfsjd that doesn’t….. #anyway. the deaf MC was cool. #there’s the hint of things that could be really interesting on the edges. #but it’s just all about their weird toxic relationship. like barely any exploration of the parallel worlds. or academia. or the side charact #her ‘friends’ are only in plot relevant scenes #lol

[mars-ipan]

i sometimes think that in spite of my mental stuff i have a very good handle on myself and especially my impulsivity and then i look at how i consume media

#marzi speaks #for the past few months i have looked at nothing new. none of the things i love took up a huge space in my mind #earlier this week i decided i was gonna start listening to wtnv again #i also decided i was finally ready to watch qsmp #so i am now doing both. at the same time #my desire to create has come back with a vengeance as well. i do not normally make 2 pieces in a week #and now i’m brainstorming on a 3rd! #my strat has been watch as much qsmp as possible while doodling to maintain attention span #then work on whatever art i want to make and use wtnv as background noise #i have gone from Nothing to Turbo mode #why? i legit think it’s the anxiety. also maybe the adhd i still think i might have #i’ve been busy all summer and thinking abt college bc i move out in like 7 days #so i haven’t had brain capacity for this stuff #now though? with it so close? i’m antsy #i’m restless constantly. i don’t even wanna go to bed i wanna Do Something (nothing to do) #so i’m giving my brain as much to chew on as physically possible so it can not panic about a maior milestone in my life lmao #it’s working! it’s enough for my brain to juggle so i don’t get bored and start Thinking too much #but damn. funny how this little mind works #sometimes i do not feel fully in control lmao. i usually do but sometimes #escapism. my true vice <3. i could never hate you but damn. like damn dude

[shadyhouse]

i think the worst part of all of this shit in my life rn is that they didnt give me enough notice for anything so i had no other choice but to just Quit my job without notice. but that means i can never go back to work in any store in any location bc its their policy or whatever. so i don't have a job to go back to at all

#like. i dont know whether im an idiot for all this or if i really had a chance at it #i do terribly on phones what was i thinking. if not today i wouldve gotten fired at some other point #like a good trusted friend has worked there for 2 years its a legit company its just. EXTREMELY fucking picky i guess. #the second worst part is that the instructor asked me what name i preferred to go by bc i was trying to ask him ALL DAY what to do about my #legal name. and he didnt get to me until 6 hours later exactly the monent he learned that my computer didnt have enough ram #so fucking dumb like dude you cant wait TWO WEEKS out of the FOUR WEEKS OF TRAINING for me to get a new computer #is this company really going to onboard like. Every single fucking person like do all the paperwork and everything #just to immediately fire them if they have ONE THING MISSING on day one #im actually so mad about this like. are you serious. are you for real. #'apply again in 30 days. goodbye' ?!?!? what are you TALKING ABOUT what am i going to be doing 30 days from now. i quit my job to do this

[fandom-ash]

"Proshippers DNI"

Oh so you have the brainstorms. Cool. Blocked.

#the disk horse #legit tho ship and let ship #i feel like kids n young adults these days are like... entilted in fandom culture #not to rant about kids these days #i think its got something to do with how invasive the internet and fandom have become in our daily lives #but like just block people dude. fr. #why harass others when you can enjoy your shit in peace #kink tomato n all that

[55szn]

reckless - ln4

lando norris x verstappen!singer!reader smau

summary a sliiiight misunderstanding caused by yn made max go mad and almost commit murder warnings cursing fc sabrina carpenter taglist @jaydaaasworld notes requested!🌷 i’ve been dying to get to this request but i’ve had no time and no inspiration 😭 hope you like it!

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

ynverstappen

liked by lilymhe, maxverstappen1 and 1.957.181 others

ynverstappen abt last week ! btw “reckless” is officially out <3

tagged maxverstappen1

view all 7.578 comments

user no lando pic, no lando like, promoting reckless, not denying the allegations. i’m afraid it’s truly over

user i’m a child of divorce

user the pic with max tho😭

user he’s such an older brother🙏🏻

user i’m legit so sad over this

maxverstappen1 😊

user 😊 = “the body is buried”

user lando i love you but i’m choosing mum’s side on the divorce

lilymhe my beautiful girl😍

ynverstappen love u lils see u on sunday 💘

user HUH??????

user TF YOU MEAN SEE YOU ON SUNDAY

landonorris

liked by ynverstappen, carlossainz55 and 2.181.021 others

landonorris when you spend a few days away without a phone and your lovely girlfriend lets everyone believe you’re an asshole and suddenly you’re the internet’s most hated person and you have death threats in your messages 🙃

tagged ynverstappen, maxverstappen1

view all 10.178 comments

user HELLOOOOO???????

ynverstappen1 I’M SORRY BABY IT WAS JUST SO FUN TO SEE MAX FREAKING TF OUT

maxverstappen1 not funny. didn’t laugh

landonorris i second that

maxverstappen1 don’t second me i’m still mad at you

landonorris I. DIDN’T. DO. ANYTHING.

ynverstappen i love you please forgive me🥺

landonorris no

landonorris okay just because you’re like really hot

ynverstappen well that was easy

ynverstappen posting that last pic is evil tho i showed you that in confidence.

landonorris is what you deserve

maxverstappen1 what was with you and those glasses

ynverstappen it was a phase max move on🙄

carlossainz55 you almost needed bodyguards to walk around the paddock😂😂

maxverstappen1 at least he knows not to mess around now

landonorris i didn’t intend to who do you think i am mate cmon

user MOM AND DAD ARE STILL TOGETHER?!???? SUICIDE PLANS ARE OFF

yourusername

liked by landonorris, carmenmmundt and 2.178.181 others

ynverstappen yes we are still together no max didn’t murder him

tagged landonorris

view all 9.821 comments

maxverstappen1 i tried to

landonorris dude😞

landonorris i love but you almost got me killed love

ynverstappen the price you gotta pay❤️

user i don’t understand what happened here 😭

user right like what does “reckless” even mean

ynverstappen it’s a song i wrote years ago about someone very shitty, found it a few weeks ago and decided to retake it and release it :D

user girl why didn’t you clarify it wasn’t about lando since the beginning 😭

ynverstappen chaos is my fuel

user you are evil.

landonorris she is.

#f1 fanfic #formula 1 #f1 #f1 x reader #fanfiction #smau #f1 smau #lando norris #mclaren #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris social media au #lando norris smau #lando norris x you #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #ln4 #ln4 smau #lando norris 4 #f1 fic #motorsports #formula 1 smau #lando norris fanfiction

[ew-selfish-art]

Dpxdc AU: consultant groups can be used to outsource problems for companies so why not monarchies?

Danny is listening to the various eyeballs and ghosts chatter on about all the issues that he now has to oversee and advise and make so many freaking decisions on. It’s annoying that it all has to come down to his call because he was a dumb 14 year old who didn’t want his town to permanently live in the ghost zone.

Now 17, King of the Infinite, and a bit wiser to the world, Danny is doing his best to balance his teenage ambitions to not give a shit and his protective obsession to very much give a shit.

Sams parents are making her learn the family business and Tucker is trying to make this internship he’s got with a fancy tech company out of New Jersey into a career without college… so while they’re commiserating with Danny the idea comes up.

Earth has a shit ton of heroes. Like, ever since the Justice League *poofed* the GIW out of existence with the Meta human acts- more and more caped crusaders seemed to be coming out of the wood work. More villains too but still, more people who seemed wise to their abilities and morals. Danny has literally never taken an ethics class.

But rn, Eye-mothy and Eye-Bert are arguing over how Danny as King Phantom is supposed to tackle the problem of some fucking pool acting as a weird trade route with a cult and… ugh it’s just so boring but like also such a fucking problem. But… maybe it can be someone else’s issue.

Opening a portal, Danny escapes into space and gets to work finding the base of operations- Tucker had told him there was a new satellite after all and there’s no way it wasn’t connected to the hero orgs- and boom he flies into the Watchtower.

“Hey- are any of you guys willing to consult on some weird pools of ectoplasm in Pakistan? Green and glowing little lakes of bullshit and magic?” Danny asks into the meeting room of the JL regardless of their startled and alarmed exclamations.

“… I could consult on that.” A voice comes from the corner, and Danny recognizes him as one of the bat people. Or bird? The guy is in a lot of red and clearly wasn’t supposed to be in this meeting based on the way he’s propped in the corner. The room erupts in protest but Danny barely hears them through his excitement and focus on the dude.

“Great! I’ll have him back before the end of the day! Lets go Bird boy!” And with that, Danny grabbed the Bird, chucked them both through a portal back into his thrown room and begins to explain the way these eyeballs are totally trying to trap him into doing more work than he needs to do.

“What do I call you by the way? I’m Danny but you’ll probably hear them call me King Phantom.”

“I go by Red Robin, and honestly, I’ve been trying to get this shit taken care of for years.”

From there Tim becomes a regular consultant for King Phantom- the Bat Family is losing their minds with him constantly going to the land of the dead but also Constantine said not to piss off the king at all costs.

Danny is just thrilled that this dude has a shit ton of insight as well as business sense- like he could legit run the monarchy way better than him despite the fact that they’re the same age.

They end up working together for years, and even when there’s not an active issue at hand, Danny will meet up with the bird just to talk.

Sam and Tucker think they’re hilarious each time they ask if Danny’s proposed yet.

Tim has already planned their wedding but all of that information is in a folder more secured than the nuclear codes- Danny needs to ask him on a date first.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc #danny phantom #Tim drake #dead tired #dc crossover #dp crossover #ehehehehe #also him just grabbing any random hero to help on any issue their power set might help to advise #danny outsourcing his issues is my favorite headcanon #boy wants to be helpful but also like is begging to just have one lazy Sunday #Tim drake is like ‘why would I not help run a monarchy in my spare time from running a Fortune 500 company and being a vigilante?’ #tim drake is a menace #he’s what the eyeballs have nightmares about and they didn’t even think they could have nightmares

[mrfoox]

Bruh... Oliver just unloaded @ me about his ex and their breakup and im shook

#miranda talking shit #I mean ive been curious. I always want to know whats going on in people i like lifes but i also understand i cant ask about everything #Im kinda suprised he actually ... Told me. Like unprovoked just out of nowhere #I havent known too much even before they broke up. Hes always been tight-lipped but now what i heard oh boy #A 7 yr relationship .... And she apperantly cheated and dumped him for the new guy. She cheated way in the past with him too? #And she told oliver to buy her expensive stuff just the day before she broke up with him... Like that doesnt sound good at all #That sorta shit is crazy to me like... He have legit formed 95% of his life after her and made sacrifices for her through their relationshp #And she... Obviously havent been happy but instead of ending it before she went and cheated and still used him for money? #I cant imagine. Or well i can but it hurts. I feel guilty if someone give me a gift worth 50 euro... She actively asked for things #Like 200+ euro often. I... Kinda knew she 'liked nice things' but this sounds so scummy /: #I genuinely cant imgaine this whole thing on a deeper level it sounds way too much i am anxious just thinking about it with the limited #Knowledge i have... Some people are so...well selfish i guess . I dont doubt their relationship have been unhealthy #I mean they got together when they were like 14 and been togheter since then. Dude i had a relationship at 15 and i am so much #Different now than then. Im glad he got out of that whole mess. Cant imagine how he feels. I can tell he definitely still loves her #But hes angry and i think thats a good things here

[wonryllis]

〽︎ RANDOMLY GIVING THEM A ROSE ON THE STREET.

꒰˵ˊᯅˋ˵꒱ 𝒏. enhypen mesmerized by a stranger fluff 784wc LIB?

𝗵𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴 bambi would be just waiting for the others near a crossroad, looking around mindlessly when you come up and hand him a single rose without a word. he looks at you for a few seconds eyes switching from the rose to your face so unsure of what to do until you just shove it in his hand rush away. man would probably try to go after you, like you gave him a rose and now that he thinks about it he feels kinda giddy and he wants to know your name but it's too late he loses you in the crowd. hovers around the same street for days hoping to see you again.

𝗷𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴 probably sitting in some corner searching up a few things on his phone when you approach him suddenly, waving a lone rose in his face. takes it without a complain cause this guy like the gentleman he is thinks you're asking him to hold it for you? but then you leave and he panics like eh? what was that? he's walks up after you and finds you handing out more roses like that to other people and man he feels a little jealous he wasn't the only one getting it but at the same time he sorta falls for you like how sweet and kind of you to hand out flowers to strangers.

𝗷𝗮𝗲𝘆𝘂𝗻 he's with the others lounging at an outdoor cafe when you walk up to the group extending a rose right under his nose, he's gets so red and embarrassed like oh my god someone's proposing to me in public? clears his throat, smiling sheepishly as he accepts it expecting you to say something you're good looking or would you like to go out on a date with me. but humbled real quick when you leave wordlessly though not without a smile. and that smile alone has jake thinking about you for days, wanting to see you again. revisits the cafe again and again for you.

𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗻 startled like anything but keeps his cool as he turns around to face you after you tap on his shoulder. his brows rise in a question, has this scary expression of what do you want but honestly dude is shit nervous to have a pretty girl approach him even more so when you randomly give him a rose, "a flower for you, have a good day," and he's gone he can't look you in the face he's so flustered. legit runs after you to ask for you name. grabbing your wrist softly to stop you but he's so shy instead of asking he ends up just thanking you in an awkward loser smile ><

𝘀𝘂𝗻𝘄𝗼𝗼 like the warm and friendly extrovert he is, he would smile kindly and go oh that's for me? thank you so much! you're so sweet! this man would be so thrilled to get a rose from you and he wouldn't hesitate to let you know just how much you made his day. will outright take the chance to flirt and get to know you under a minute. so sad when you leave but he's sure he'll find you again lol. and boy does he find you again two days later at some shop, hesitates a bit first but then gathers courage and approaches you,"would you like some flowers, pretty lady?" okayyyy

𝗷𝘂𝗻𝗴𝘄𝗼𝗻 this poor guy is so clumsy he bumps into you accidentally when you approach him with the rose making you drop the entire bunch you had in your other hand. immediately bends down to help you gather them, literally does not let you touch one at all and after he's got them all, hands it over like a bouquet. you giggle at how the tables turn and jungwon is so nervous his heart is racing on hot wheels. i helped a pretty girl, i handed flowers to a pretty girl, the pretty girl gave me back a rose. he fr gets so down bad in a split moment of interaction lmao.

𝗿𝗶𝗸𝗶 boy is in the middle of filming a self vlog of his vacay when you enter the screen from behind with flowers in your hands. moves to the side thinking you were asking him to excuse you. but then you hold up a rose to him and he's like okay? taking it in slow motion giving side eye to the camera like what's going on right now? doesn't really mind all that much though cause you're pretty and you have such cute vibes. regrets later for not asking for your name, hence edits in the scene into his vlog and asks his followers to help him find his dream girl.

taglist ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie

#enhypen imagines #k-labels #ENHA WOULD THINK ABOUT THIS FOR WEEKS LMAO #JUNGWON'S TURNED OUT SO CUTE!! #enhypen headcanons #enhypen reactions #enhypen fluff #enhypen soft hours #enhypen soft thoughts #enhypen scenarios #enhypen drabbles #enhypen heeseung imagines #enhypen jake imagines #enhypen jay imagines #enhypen sunghoon imagines #enhypen sunoo imagines #enhypen jungwon imagines #enhypen niki imagines #enhypen x reader

[evieisclean]

Anyway, I pretty much have come to the conclusion that I actually hate presenting as a woman and that I low-key have misogynistic tendencies

#like....... dont know where this crap is coming from but its true #i dont want to transition into a dude but i think the reason why i say im agender is so i dont associate myself with being a girl #i think it all comes back to my screwed up perceptions of power #somewhere when i was growing up i learned that women were weak and men were not #that sex was a power move #that love was a weakness #that emotions are a weakness #legit a lot of my 'issues' come from the fear of not having power or i guess more accurately control #i never talk to my friends negatively but boy howdy do i do it to myself #im always attracted to fandoms with more men then women as well.. tho im getting better at that with rainbow high and stuff likethat #sometimes i hear my mom or my best friend talk about womens power and it makes me uncomfortable #i feel.... like its not even worth fighting for because we are never gonna get the same rights or freedoms as men #until i can walk around by myself at night in any part of the world not much will have changes #i dunno i think the amber heard stuff is stressing me out #i knew there were gonna be huge reprecussions to women's rights if she lost the trial #i think i just feel defeated at the end of the day #i wish i was comfortable with myself #dark and deep

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

What if the reader was the child of the creator and had these gorgeous horns until one day, they were being looked after by Raiden, Venti, Nahida, Zhongli and they hear this mixed sounds of rocks breaking and bone snapping suddenly appearing and reader's large and gorgeous horns is suddenly not attached and in their hands while blood drips from their head. Apparently their horns were feeling pretty wobbly and they wanted to pull them to get rid of the feeling because it felt annoying.

PS: this is normal for this to happen, it's like pulling a tooth and a new one grows back.

How would they react to the graces child's horns no longer attached to their head.

OOOHH BOY, ARCHONS BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELTS, YOUR BABYSITTING CAREERS ARE ABOUT TO BE SHOOT THROUGH A BIG ROLLERCOASTER!

Honestly cannot blame them for panicking though—I would honestly do the same if I were in that position—

(Disclaimers: Might be OOC!)

Raiden Ei

The moment she sees the Almighty Creator's child's head bleeding, she is already scolding herself greatly for not being able to protect a child.

And then she sees the horns. That's when her panic begins to really spike up. That is—until she remembers Mikoshi Chiyo—her dear oni friend of bygone times—mention something about how some animals shed their horns during certain times of the year. And how her children have their teeth fall out when they were younger but we don't talk about that-

"Your Younger Grace, let us clean this all up before it becomes more of a mess." She tries to soften her voice towards you, knowing that she is dealing with a) a child and b) the literal descendant of the Almighty Creator. She does not dare to try and be cruel to the child who's parent can literally strike her down faster than lightning and time itself.

She's not exactly the most open nowadays, but she would still try to make herself as approachable as possible, if you two weren't close before.

If you two were? Well, that makes it a lot easier—her concern is easily detected and she's already cleaning up the blood and taking your previous horns somewhere else (probably a place where nobody would begin to panic just at the sight of it).

She won't even speak a single word about this incident after it's over. Ei does not want to look back at this memory and remember just how much of a heart attack she just gained by staring at the Divine One's child.

Venti

This man, hands down, will panic for a good few hours. Probably won't think straight as he thinks he's failed the Almighty Creator.

"Your Younger Grace, quick—let's get that cleaned up now!" Man would probably also yeet your horns away (gently) so that he never has to see it again. Venti is 100% traumatized again.

Would keep an eye on you whenever you touch your head now—this guy is making sure you never repeat the same thing again.

It won't be 'till a LONGG time before he realizes it's like a deer with your horns—but still, it's still pretty traumatic for our wisp boi, let's be hoenst—

Nahida

She would naturally be very upset that you would hurt yourself. However, she's not as panicked—she compares this situation like a deer. Or, actually—she hypothesizes.

Nevertheless, Nahida is still pretty upset you have to bleed because of this. She never wants to see you hurt, ever!

"Your Younger Grace, please let one of my people tend to your head..." She would call in her best medics from her nation to make sure your bleeding stops, before she deals with the horns that you practically tore off.

She will admit, it was very strange to hold the pieces of the Almighty Creator's child's horns as if they were collectible items. So, for the time being, she'll just keep them in a wrapped cloth to hide them.

Every time you do this, Nahida is now extra prepared for your "horn regrowth," as she calls it.

Zhongli

Dude is honestly the least surprised out of them all. I mean—can you blame him? He legit has seen it happen—remember what animal Moon Carver is? Yeah, that's right: a deer. Man's seen the guy shed antlers all the time, honestly.

But what he didn't expect is that you would actually bleed from pulling your horns off. That's what gets this grandpa of an Archon moving.

"Your Grace, allow me to tend to your injuries." Would treat it so seriously you think you were actually injured—you're just sitting there trying to recall how you might have hurt yourself until you realize Zhongli was talking about the horns you pulled off.

Pretty calm about the horns, honestly. Like I said, he's probably seen it one too many times. He'll probably ask the Almighty Creator themself of what he should do with them.

Would also probably educate the other archons so that they could stop having an absolute panic attack each time you decide to make your head bleed (cough looking at you, Venti cough).

And that's it! Everyone's except Ei's is short, but I do hope you like it! See you all around :)

Ghost Rebel Side Note: Yes, I did do some research with Ei's part—mainly because I don't really know how exactly she would react to a situation like this. I'm taking in terms with the fact that she is also mentally arguing/dealing with the Puppet Shogun, so there is some sort of rationalism behind her actions because of this. And, no, I don't believe Oni are able to shed off their horns, so I just made one of Ei's friends mention something about re-growing horns/teeth lol-

Check the Ghost Rebel's Blog Description to See if Their Mailbox is Open!

#genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau #sagau x reader #sagau genshin #yandere sagau #genshin cult au #sagau cult au #sagau zhongli #sagau nahida #sagau venti #sagau ei #genshin x reader #platonic genshin x reader #platonic #platonic genshin impact

[octuscle]

Lifelong school internship

Day 1: My guidance counselor had advised me to do an internship in the trades. I'm more of an artistic and intellectual type, but my teacher said that it wouldn't do me any harm to have an insight into a different world. Especially as you have to think seriously about what jobs will still be around in ten years' time. It was more likely to be a carpenter than a journalist. As painful as it is, that's not far-fetched. But me as a carpenter…? I find that absurd…

Day 2: I feel so ridiculous with this tool belt. The other guys here make fun of my manicured pianist fingers. And yes, I don't really fit in here… But I have to admit that the work isn't bad at all. I like the smell of the wood. And I like working with my hands. The other guys all rave to me about how cool it is to be a craftsman. They really enjoy their work. So I forgive the foreman for putting me in a headlock to greet me and making me stick my face in his wet armpit. It's probably a kind of greeting ritual. As long as it's not every day.

Day 4: OMG, like seriously, it's such a rad feeling when you've totally nailed something! I mean, I'm not like a total pro yet, but my boss let me pretty much build the kitchen cabinets all by myself. And dang, they look pretty darn good! My mom would be so proud if she could see them. I gotta send her some pics!

Day 7: Totally sicc, dude! I'm like legit a journeyman now. Finally gonna make some moolah. Gonna go wild partying with the boys tonight. Two crates of brewskis in the back of the pickup, then off to the lake to grill a pig on the bonfire. Damn, it's been ages since I strummed a guitar. But tonight might be the night. Gotta put these calluses from woodworking with the bros to good use somewhere, right?

Day 10: Mate, bein' your own boss at 28 is the real deal. As a tradie, you get to do whatever the hell you want. It's bloody awesome! And buddy, it's bloody cool havin' all the lads dancin' to my tune. And the clients? They'd literally lick my boots just to get me to do their jobs. Can't get better than that!

Day 14: Yo, listen up fam, greeting rituals ain't no joke. You gotta stick to 'em like glue! I mean, this little softie dude who started his apprenticeship with me today better get the memo from the get-go. I always need someone to lick my armpits and blow my popsicle stand. And for real, did it hurt me when I had to do that for my boss? Nah bro, it turned me into a real man. And as a tradesman, you gotta be a real man. Otherwise, you can't hang with the big boys.

Pics by @ki-kink

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #inked man #tank top #hairy pits #ai image #redneck tf

[felixdragonheartofficial]

TFA TEAM PRIME HUMAN REDESIGNS FINALLY

FUCK

+headcannons

Optimus: gotta stay focused

looks too old compared to his bot form.

I find it impossible for Optimus to be more than a million years old in this canon. In the least, he's older than 1000 years and since we have mfs that are canonically over 70 million years old(fagatron iykyk) compared to that, he feels like a dude in his early-to-mid-30's being the group parent.

---

-I made him more youthful, gave him curly hair, and tailored his clothing to actually look like his bot form.

-workaholic

-on the cusp of barley being able to hold his liquor

-doesn't own a pair of pajamas until Sari gets some for him

-usually forgets to put them on, but appreciates the gesture

-stays active for like, 3 days until he can't fight off sleep with work brain anymore, and unceremoniously passes out on the couch to sleep for a full 24 hours

-ratchet sighs and puts a blanket over him as per routine

-frequently checks security feed

-elf on the shelf despiser

-early morning talks with jazz and ratchet over coffee (they all wake up at 6 am)

-half thrives on caffeine and a vigorous training protocol

-is a dog person, loves German shepherds to death

David sama, pls forgive me ily very much

Ratchet: to old for this nonsense

doesn't match his body type in the slightest.

Ratchet is really old, he's got a sallow face and a gramp gut, how dare they square him. He's wayyy too angular and peachy looking.

-I gave him his luscious curves back, adding all the equipment id expect a field medic to have because he is a field medic, not a regular doctor. I changed his facial proportions, and also made his face gaunt, for that dead inside PTSD look.

---

-drinks his coffee black with brown sugar, literally drinks it piping hot

-is one of those old people who complains about noise

-confiscates bumblebee and Sari's toy cars, and puts them in a high up cabinet

-neither of them know how to bypass the child safety lock lmao

-casual clothes includes a lot- a l o t of plaid shirts, and 10 pairs of the same blue jeans

-tunes out bulkhead and prowls convos about birdwatching

-big fan of political satire dramas

-Sentinel doesn't approve

-Ratchet doesn't give a rats ass about what he thinks of course

Bumblebee: professional smart-ass

doesn't match his body type/age.

Bumblebees holoform is presented as a 10-12 year old child specifically for the fact that he's short, and the comedic relief. Total ass

I set his human age as 19-20 years old, making him more of a big brother to sari because that og model is disappointingly lackluster

---

-Bumblebee is a scrappy wisecracking punk, like an adhd kid who just got roller skates for Christmas.

-since he doesn't have wheels, I feel like he'd wear skates instead to emulate the feeling

-terrible at watching where he's going cuz he's too busy trying to show off, so ratchet makes him wear all that padding + training wheels

-legit despises the padding and training wheels

-Jealous of Blurr for mastering roller blades lmao.

-his favorite games are choose your fighter and fps

-saw ONE ancient ass assassins creed playthrough and begged ratchet to install hidden tasers in his arm bands (was denied)

-Sari used her key to do it instead

-self appointed "rizzler"

-Optimus has zero idea of what that means and thinks it's code for something dubious

-Ratchet knows what it means and thinks it's silly

-"I' was something of a rizzler myself back in my day, kid"

-bumblebee cringes

-loves summer and swimming

-wants to be the fastest thing in the sea because y'know, it's bumblebee

-is spooked from the beach for awhile cuz he saw sharks in Prowls nature documentary

-there are infact, no sharks in lake Erie

Bulkhead: big guy, bigger heart

doesn't match his body type/aspirations.

Jesus fuck he's so wide?? And his belly migrated to his shoulders?? I'm gonna be honest, I really hate this design. I feel like it contributed to the "brute strength = stupid" take that most in the fandom associates with him.

---

-Bulkhead is a SWEET. CARING. NERD YOU FOOLS. He's like the male version of a tall goth gf-

-a tall-nerdy-farm hand-physics bf, You got me fucked up.

-Its already shown that bulkhead really likes art in Addition to creating it. He hates being only seen as the "muscle" so it wouldn't make sense for him to lean into that.

-bunny slippers that him and sari made together(she provided the buttons)

-the slippers go missing sometimes (basically considered community property unless he's wearing them)

(ratchet and prowl are the main offenders)

-frequent art museum goer

-really likes watching cooking shows, but is too shy to make food himself

-Owns a ton of star maps

-Really wants a treehouse that he, bumblebee and sari can hang out in

-pillowfort enjoyer

-casually reads quantum physics at the beach

Prowl: draft dodger

Doesn't look like him at all.

Prowls holoform being a mustachioed,white, police officer was an actual jumpscare for 7 y/o me, I kid you not

---

- I know this bitch would not wear a helmet (you can't force him to) que windswept hair

-Not as much as starscreams, for obvious reasons but yk

-prowl is like one of those "shoes are a prison for your feet"

-emo hipster

-has a pet cactus named "planty"

-bumblebee heckles him for it

-can and has brought his cactus with him on early evening motorcycle rides

-the helmet is reserved for his cactus, bring your own >:(

-salad consumer

-him and jazz share custody of the cactus

-repeat victim of the cat distribution system

-ratchet has probably spent hours telling him they can't keep any animals at base

-frequent midnight picnics with jazz

-and beachcombing

-and roaming around antique stores cuz jazz wants to know what vinyl records are

-got a mug with an attempted pink chibi cat with big round shiny eyes painted onto it, courtesy of bulkhead trying to find an artsyle

-cherishes this mug to death

-has a shrine dedicated to it

#tfa #decepticons #autobots #tfa headcanons #tfa optimus prime #tfa bulkhead #tfa bumblebee #tfa ratchet #tfa prowl #AUUUUUUGH #im gonna have a pole #optimus prime #bumblebee #bulkhead #prowl #ratchet #tfa sari #sari sumdac #sari mention