#he’s lying about the fact that they know each other?

[luvth0t]

NEED ME? ━ L.N

in which you’re on vacation with your ex boyfriend, the only man who’s been able to make you cum in recent times.

warnings; smut, unprotected sex, eavesdropping, cocky lando, ex lovers, conversations of masturbation and inability to orgasm, hair pulling, oral both receiving, overstimulation, praise, slight degradation, choking ect.

it was a throw away question. one lando probably shouldn’t have brushed off.

“you’re sure you’re fine with her coming?” max had asked so casually despite it being on this tip of his tongue for the last hour, eyes not lifting from his phone to see the way lando looked at him with raised eyebrows.

the driver said your name in confusion, even chuckled. “of course. why wouldn’t i be?” lando followed; a rhetorical question. he knew why max was asking such thing.

he watched as max shrugged, hummed mindlessly as if he didn’t have a response prepared.

“wouldn’t catch me wanting to share a roof with my ex,” max mused; putting his phone down and finally meeting lando’s eyes, glare more so, quick to put his hands up in defence. “just saying. something to think about,” max quickly added.

he had his best friends best interest at heart.

“so what? we tell her she can’t come?” lando scoffed, shaking his head as he leant back into the seat he was occupying. “we’re friends. hasn’t been an issue before.” lando dismissed.

and he wasn’t lying. you’d broken up almost a year ago, which was concerning at first considering you shared the same friend group. were friends before lovers.

but it worked, you’d remained friends. saw each other every now and then, in a group setting. you weren’t as close, obviously, but it wasn’t awkward.

“no i know,” max huffed; even rolling his eyes. “maybe two villa’s is something to think about, that’s all.” max shrugged once more. he wasn’t just thinking of lando, but you as well, his other dear friend.

the brit shook his head, not giving in to the worry max seemed to hold. “not necessary. no different than being at the same hotel.” lando concluded.

he’d seen you on nights out, had conversations with you on boats; you still got an invite and paddock pass to his home race.

there was nothing to worry about. if you two weren’t capable of being friends, such thing would’ve been exposed.

that’s what lando thought anyways.

standing on the deck of a ten bedroom villa in the south of france however, he realised maybe he should’ve considered max’s words more carefully.

small doses of you seemed to differ from your constant presence.

the break up was civil, lando was grateful for such thing. it’d been him who ended things, purely because he felt as if he couldn’t give you the time you deserve. it was a cop out, he feared, realising things were almost too good between the pair of you.

he wasn’t sure he could commit to putting you through a relationship where you wouldn’t get the time and treatment you deserved.

you took it well, an angel in fact; you wanted to hate him for it. but you couldn’t bring yourself too. selfless enough to put the peace of your mutual friends and him first. plus, losing him entirely left a bitter taste in your mouth.

you’d mourned the relationship, cried in private and cursed him to your best friend; and moved on. well, appeared to have.

it went unspoken, amongst the group; in front of you two at least, and between you two as well. not exactly something you were ready to laugh at yet. it just seemed to go… unaddressed.

until it was night two, dinner at a fancy restaurant with maybe a few too many bottles of wine meant piling into ubers to get back to the villa.

it sort of just happened, lando shuffling into the car behind you; leaving you in the middle of him and max; pietra on max’s lap and tom in the front.

your senses were consumed of him immediately, not able to avoid him considering you were practically pressed into his side in an attempt to give pietra enough room.

you glanced up at him once, smiling sheepishly to see his eyes already on you.

“you still wear it,” lando hummed casually, pinky finger reaching to brush over the bracelet he’d bought you a few months into your relationship, grazing your wrist as he did so.

your cheeks went a shade of pink at the observation, and if it weren’t for the fact you were wine drunk you probably would’ve made up an excuse as to why the piece of metal still found it’s way onto your wrist everyday.

“it’s my favourite,” you replied; glancing down at the piece as your hand moved to fiddle with it, small smile playing on your lips.

you missed the grin spread on lando’s face, a sense of pride fulfilling him as he recounted the stress it had caused him just picking out the damn bracelet. he was relieved to see you still wearing it, for some reason.

“i’ve got good taste.” lando bragged, eyes practically begging for yours to meet his again; smiling in amusement when they did as you nudged him.

you were suddenly even more aware of the closeness, the way your knees were touching, how his arm had stretched to rest over the headrest behind you. it was forced proximity sure, but an odd sense of familiarity that you hadn’t felt in a while was accompanying it.

“most of the time,” you mused, earning a nudge back ━ which had a giggle escaping you, one you attempted to hush; not wanting to draw attention to you and lando’s conversation.

if it did, the others in the car would’ve seen the way lando’s face lit up at the sound. he hadn’t made you laugh like that in months, he’d forgotten how good it felt to do so.

he’d almost forgotten how easy you were to be around. how easy it was to fall for you in the first place.

it was as if the universe was punishing him for such thing, because suddenly you were all he could think about once more.

that night, he was simply relaxing in his room; when you came waltzing in.

“p,” your voice hummed as you knocked; pushing the door open before lando could muster a response from inside. “do you have my top━ oh shit, sorry!” you’d cut yourself short when you found yourself standing in lando’s room. not pietra and max’s.

who was luckily just lounging on the bed in his joggers, not far from switching the lamp off and going to sleep.

but he had been shocked to see you enter his room in just a towel.

“you’re fine,” lando chuckled; having sit up. “we swapped rooms this morning… figured they should have a private bathroom,” lando explained; watching as your face softened in some sort of relief.

you hadn’t been crazy. regardless, still embarrassed; the redness on your cheeks clear as you nodded, cringing ever so slightly.

“right; my bad, sorry,” you repeated; not even wanting to imagine what else you could’ve walked in on.

lando simply chuckled, shaking his head as his eyes glanced over your figure just once; unable to help himself. having to swallow to not let himself think back to what he knows is underneath the towel keeping you modest.

“i’m gonna go,” you declared; sheepishly smiling as you turned on your heel; cringing once more now that you were out of sight, not hiding the urgency as you practically fled his room and slammed the door behind you.

lando hadn’t realised he was holding his breath until you left, body relaxing as he flopped back onto the mattress; a curse leaving his lips.

the next morning, you were there again. obviously. yet he couldn’t see you, nor could you see him. so technically he was eavesdropping; but it hadn’t been on purpose.

lando was out on his balcony first, which was above yours it appeared; mindlessly scrolling through his phone before arabella’s voice became audible, who you were rooming with this trip.

“since when did nicolas get ripped,” she’d posed to you, peering at the man who was dipping in the pool; your eyes following her gaze from where you both sat in deck chairs; smoothies in hand.

“he’s always been cute,” you pointed out; shrugging ever so slightly as you adjusted the sunglasses atop your head, rolling your eyes the moment you caught glance of arabella’s grin.

“and he’s always been into you.” arabella chimed, and you should’ve expected her to steer the conversation in such direction.

lando whoever, who hadn’t scrolled past the tik tok which was playing for the fourth time now, had not expected such words.

his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you and nicolas? yeah right. you two were close friends, he knew that much. but nothing more. surely not.

“we’re friends bella,” you dismissed; shaking your head. slightly flirty friends as of recent, you’d admit. but just friends.

“so? doesn’t have to stay that way,” arabella had grinned ━ and lando felt betrayed; as if it should be him the pair of you were talking about. not nicolas.

“yes it does.” you laughed. “i’m not dating within the friend group ever again,” you spoke in such certainty it had lando confused, he didn’t think it faired that bad the first time.

but he also wasn’t opposed to your declaration. not that he was close to nicolas, in fact he probably knew him the least. but he was a brother of a childhood friend, who’d tagged along the last few trips. and lando had no complaints of the guy.

“don’t be silly,” arabella huffed. “i’m not saying fall in love with him. just that he could end the sex drought you’re stuck in.” arabella hummed, your eyes widening as you hit her softly.

“what? no one can hear us!” arabella spoke dramatically, and you rolled your eyes; no argument because you figured she was right.

however she wasn’t, because lando was still listening. and his interest had suddenly spiked.

“i am not… stuck in a sex drought,” you huffed; not sounding one bit convincing as you glanced at the pool. “men just suck. i’ve given up on having an orgasm.” your words were dramatic, and playful, but still a bit of truth to them.

suddenly lando felt guilty for overhearing, or purposefully listening, but he couldn’t help but be intrigued.

your words made no sense to him; considering nights with you would always lead to multiple orgasms for both of you.

and it wasn’t as if you were short on options.

“gotta do everything yourself these days,” arabella sighed out dramtically in agreement; but she had a boyfriend, and your friendship with the girl wasn’t one for many secrets; you knew she was only ‘relating’ out of sympathy.

truth was; since lando, nothing or no one could compare. not even your own damn fingers.

“can’t even get myself off.” you huffed out almost ashamed, and you only whined when you met arabella’s shocked eyes and slack jaw.

lando suddenly felt intrusive, and flustered from the idea of you touching yourself; one he’d grown familiar with due to long distance. suddenly he was standing and ready to walk himself inside in his room.

“is your body like… broken?” arabella sounded bewildered, and you could only huff.

you’d blame it on stress, or any of your medication if it was possible; you’ve heard stories, knew there could be many reasons as to why your sex drive and urges have suddenly changed. none aligned with your circumstances however.

“just deprived i think,” you sighed.

lando needed to get his mind off your sexual need’s immediately, deciding to go on a run with max to occupy himself. to get you off his mind.

and it worked, until he got back to the villa. hot and out of breath, he found himself in the kitchen ━ pouring a glass of water with ice, eyes wandering out the fold out doors that exposed the luxurious back yard. decking, sun lounges, a pool; and his closest friends.

and his ex girlfriend. in a little bikini. with another man’s hands on her.

he couldn’t help but scoff at the sight, you resting on your stomach as nicolas rubbed sunscreen into your back ━ watching as you grinned and spoke up to him momentarily. you were flirting, he knew that look.

his takeaways from his… eavesdropping, was that you didn’t plan to pursue nicolas. so what the fuck was this?

he wanted to laugh, you were going to seek answers to your problems in nicolas? he almost felt offended; if you needed good sex so badly he felt as if he was the obvious candidate.

“careful mate, you’re staring,” max’s words snapped lando out of his thoughts; causing him to glare at the man quickly, bringing his glass to his lips, unaware that his grip was so tight his knuckles were white.

max’s amusement only escalated, eyebrows raising as he chuckled quietly.

“i wasn’t.” lando murmured, leaning back against the counter. “just didn’t know that was a thing,” he tried to shrug off; eyes returning to where you now sat up, rubbing sunscreen into nicolas’s back now.

had he been oblivious to the pair of you?

“i don’t think it is.” max shrugged, following lando’s gaze momentarily, not overanalysing the sight. everyone was friends here.

lando looked to max in doubt, to check if he was being serious.

“does it matter if it is?” max questioned, sassily too, almost a challenge; and lando was quick to scoff ━ mustering up the best chuckle he could to appear as unbothered as he wanted to be.

“no,” the mclaren driver answered almost too quickly, clearing his throat slightly. “i hope it is. would be a good match,” he overcompensated; left to only flip max off as he chuckled and hummed unconvincingly.

“whatever you say,” max mused.

lando wished he was being honest, but as time passed by it became quite clear he was lying.

dinner that night you were sat at opposite ends of the long table, like usual; regardless, lando’s eyes were trained on you for the majority of the night.

you and nicolas of course. who’d snagged the seat next to you.

forced to watch as you shared food, laughed and chattered away in your own little world.

lando felt sick from the sight; that used to be him. should be him. and while he could only blame himself for it not being him, it was a cruel reminder of what he’d lost.

he felt utterly helpless however, because there was nothing he could do.

he couldn’t even express his dismay to anyone as he watched nicolas help you in the car. left to watch as you both giggled and stumbled up to the villa ahead of the group.

he wanted to intervene, to make his presence known to hopefully at least make it awkward. but he couldn’t bring himself too.

not when you’d been such an angel in the breakup, made things so easy for him from the start of the relationship to now. it just wouldn’t be fair to ruin this for you.

even though it was all he wanted to do.

he noted how you two were first off to go ‘sleep’ that night, halfway through the movie that had been put on. and he suddenly wished he’d downed a few more glasses of red at the restaurant, maybe then he wouldn’t have the capacity to brainstorm up everything and anything you and nicolas could be doing tonight.

he wasn’t going to say it was what kept him up, tossing and turning and unable to fall asleep; but it definitely played on his mind.

it was starting to make sense to him at least; he hadn’t been around you without distractions since the breakup. it suddenly became clear how helpful those distractions are.

3:42 the clock read.

lando hadn’t gotten a second of shut eye, and after two hours of laying there; he conceded. deciding to get a glass of water as if that would be the solution to all his problems.

instead he was just met with the problem itself; you.

surprise, surprise. nicolas was not the answer to your prayers.

you were already keen to tell arabella ‘i told you so’ when you returned to your room. having spent the night in nicolas’.

he was a nice guy, until the clothes came off.

it was nothing new, you on top; he came. you didn’t. he then tried to get you to finish with his fingers, and you faked an orgasm when it became clear he wasn’t finding your clit any time soon.

your frustrations had now multiplied, it felt pathetic. you were ready to give up.

you snuck out the moment he fell asleep, in the kitchen to get a glass of water and for a few moments to yourself.

“shouldn’t be surprised you’re up,” lando made his presence known, having debated running back to his room when he noticed you occupying the kitchen.

typical.

“needed a drink,” you hummed sheepishly; and for some reason when your eyes met his you felt intimidated; as if you needed refuge, turning back around to the fridge to fill your cup up with ice.

maybe it was because you were already sexually frustrated. or the fact you were stood with your ex boyfriend after sneaking out of another guys room.

“same,” lando hummed; moving behind you to grab a glass for himself, and you could feel him waiting behind you as you poured water into the glass.

“nice night?” lando asked when you moved aside so he too could fill his glass, not looking at you for the time being so you wouldn’t decipher the motives in the question. he didn’t need you to know how concerned he was with your night.

you nodded quickly, humming as you still had a mouth full of water, leaning against the counter now.

“yeah, yeah,” you spoke; pursing your lips. it had been. until it wasn’t. “restaurant was lovely,” you smiled; shifting on your feet slightly as you took in his appearance, even in the dull lightly.

his messy curls that look slept on, slightly tired eyes. he looked cozy.

lando nodded, so much on the tip of his tongue. maybe if it was a different hour of the day he’d have the common sense to not speak his mind, but he was slightly sleep deprived and going insane from his own thoughts.

“you know my balcony is above yours,” lando told you; randomly, your eyebrows furrowing ━ coughing out a slight laugh. you weren’t sure where this conversation was going to lead, your guess was awkward silence. not him blurting out something… irrelevant.

it took a few moments for it to dawn on you, the slight curve of lando’s lips into a smirk causing your eyes to widen in realisation.

you’d only been out on the balcony once today.

“oh my god,” you mumbled; cringing as he chuckled, shaking his head ever so slightly. “shut up!” you whisper yelled, leaning forward to whack his arm, which only had him laughing once more as his hands flew up in defence.

“i wasn’t eavesdropping! i swear,” lando mused, shaking his head as your eyebrows raised.

“great, so you just happened to hear all about my sad sex life,” you huffed, and lando couldn’t help the small smile that was refusing to leave his lips; always having adored the sight of you flustered and sheepish.

it didn’t help, the sight of you wearing what seemed to be just an oversized shirt. reminiscent of how his shirts would drape over your body.

“yeah,” lando confirmed sympathetically, causing you to whack him again; no force in your actions as you groaned audibly.

you couldn’t think of anyone you’d rather not hear that conversation; ever so grateful you hadn’t been completely honest with arabella.

you would die of humiliation if you’d told her how you compared every man to lando, how you found no one was able to make you feel anywhere near as good.

but regardless, there was a level of comfort. you trusted the man in front of you.

“nicolas though hm?” lando spoke light heartedly, reminding you of the man you’d just been in bed with.

was it bad he’d slipped your mind completely? having forgotten that he was who sparked such conversation this morning.

“did he make you cum?” his follow up question had you dumbfounded, having not expected such blunt words as your lips parted. “can i ask that?” lando added with a reassuring laugh. but you knew that look in his eyes.

they were darker than usual, he was staring at you intently; practically begging you to step closer.

“no,” you cleared your throat, opting for honesty. “he didn’t.” you huffed, eyes avoiding his for a moment as if you were ashamed. as if it was your fault.

the relief lando felt was pathetic, not that he wished a bad time upon you. or anyone for that matter. but god it felt like the door had been swung right open for him.

he was right; of course nicolas wasn’t going to do it for you.

“i know you can make yourself cum.” lando chimed, pushing himself off the counter and taking a couple steps towards you; ridding any distance as he stood in front of you. “used to be able to at least, seen it myself,” he told you as if you could forget.

you swallowed intently, the tension now almost suffocating. sleeping with an ex was something you swore against; recipe for disaster. but it seemed awfully appealing when it looked like lando did right now.

your cheeks were pink, thinking about the countless times you’d gotten yourself off on facetime calls with the driver, purely because neither of you could wait any longer to see one another again.

“not the same anymore.” your voice was barely above a whisper, it didn’t need to be; not when he was only centimetres away, looking down at you as if he was ready to ravish you.

lando’s eyebrow raised at that, eyes flickering across your face.

it wasn’t the same, you’d worked out the hard way. you only relied on your own devices when you had no other choice; and with that would be lando on the of phone with words of encouragement and direction.

“what, need me to talk you through it again?” his words were teasing as his hand moved to cup your cheek; your stomach turning at the thought. at the fact he seemed like he knew that would do it for you.

you let out a slight breath, shaking your head but you held little confidence in doing so.

“need me to touch you?” he added on, offer sounding almost like a request; words so hushed you could’ve missed them. but you didn’t, you heard him loud and clear.

his eyes were pouring into yours as if he pitied you, but the smirk on his face showed he wanted nothing more than to be the one to solve your problems.

you didn’t even need to think about it, no ifs or buts entering your mind; nothing could make the idea of him seem unappealing.

“please,” you mumbled; eyes pouring up into his, watching as a wicked grin spread on his features; one that made your knees weak.

it was all lando needed to hear, lips pressing against yours in an instant; it coming back to the pair of you quickly. feeling so natural, the way your body melted into his touch; the way your lips moved against each other.

your hands finding a grip on his shirt as his spread across your hips.

lando didn’t waste any time; he wanted to make you cum.

he wasn’t sure if it was because it seemed like a challenge, or because he missed you; but god did he want nothing more than to make you feel good:

his knee pushed between your thighs first, your legs spreading; immediately aware of the finger he was tracing up your inner thigh.

as much as lando missed the feeling of your lips against his, he loved watching you react to every touch and feeling. pulling away but not creating much distance as his fingers brushed over your clothed folds.

you took a sharp breath, shifting your weight to lean against the counter as the anticipation built within, eyes locked on his as he teasingly brushed your clothed clit as well.

he could feel your soaked panties, a wet patch that you knew wasn’t there when you first entered the kitchen.

“you know it doesn’t make sense,” lando started speaking through a breath; his fingers pushing your panties aside with ease, swiping through your folds; spreading your wetness to your clit. “because you’re always so easy for me baby,” he practically cooed as he slipped two fingers inside you.

your jaw fell slack, hips pushing against his hand lightly as you whimpered; cheeks hinting at his taunting words which you’d almost forgotten about and how crazy they drove you.

his free hand returned to your cheek, cupping the side of your face and adjusting your head to ensure you were looking up at him; his head tilting ever so slightly as he gazed down at you.

“so responsive,” he added in a hum; looking incredibly smug, thumb settling on your clit ━ and the moan that escaped you as he circled your sensitive bud had lando’s jaw clenching. he’d missed your pretty sounds.

he was toying with you, teasing. his fingers moving slowly, thumb only lightly circling your clit. yet you hadn’t felt this good in fucking forever, face contorting in pleasure proving such thing.

lando could get lost in the sight, not able to help himself from wanting to give you more.

his fingers gradually picked up the pace, thumb applying more pressure now; but it was when he curled his fingers, grazing that spot he never failed to miss, that you hadn’t been able to find, that a slightly louder moan escaped you.

“ah, ah,” lando hushed you; tapping your cheek lightly. “gotta be quiet baby,” lando hummed through heavy breaths, hating that he had to ask such thing of you.

he wanted to hear you lose control, hear you scream his name like you had countless of times. but he’d hate to be interrupted and have the current sight cut short.

you whined quietly at the request, biting down on your bottom lip as you tried to keep any noise at bay; knowing you had no choice. waking anyone up would be less than ideal.

but somehow, the thought of being caught was the least of your concerns.

your back arched when he added a third, thumb still expertly playing with your clit; your quiet whimpers and moans were growing in volume once more.

lando took matters into his own hands, the hand cupping your cheek shifting so he could tap his pointer finger on your bottom lip; and he had to shut himself up this time as you invited two digits past your lips without second thought.

“fuck,” he mumbled out; eyes fixated on the way you looked up at him with his fingers in your mouth; so similar to the sight of when you’d suck him off. his hard on was almost painful.

your moans were muffled now, thankfully, as your hips pushed forward once more; slowly losing control over your body as the pleasure continued to build.

you’d made a mess on your thighs, his fingers working in and out of you perfectly; beginning to curl his fingers repeatedly had your eyes rolling back.

“yeah, right there baby?” lando mumbled; despite you unable to respond. “gonna make a mess on my fingers yeah? think you deserve to cum,” he smirked ━ and if you could’ve you would’ve cried out, nodding quickly at his words.

your stomach tightened, it was sudden; more sudden than you remembered, lando having caught on to the fact you were cumming before you did; squeezing his fingers as you came undone.

his body was practically holding you up against the counter, vision going white for a moment as your muffled moans filled the air, hips bucking involuntarily once more.

lando wanted to curse himself for ever depriving himself of such thing, watching as you shook in front of him; fingers moving to let you ride out your high, until he was pulling them from your panties, and mouth respectively.

your eyes fluttered open, nothing but awe as you gazed up at him through hooded eyes; panting ever so lightly.

he was smiling cockily, if he didn’t know the root of your issue before, he did now. the way you needed him.

you couldn’t even crush his inflating ego, not when he’d made you cum so hard in a matter of minutes; giving you what you’d been chasing the past few months.

he was about to kiss you again, after moments of admiring your face; but the sound of a door shutting had the moment ruined, reminding both you and him of where you are and what you’re meant to be.

definitely not meant to be caught having a moment at 4 in the morning.

lando was quick in taking a few large strides across the kitchen, positioning himself on the other side of the island as you quickly tugged your shirt down and ran your hand through your hair.

when pietra walked in, it was an innocent sight. plenty of distance between the pair of you, not enough lights on to expose your flushed cheeks or lando’s glistening fingers.

you pretended to be surprised as you brought your glass to your lips, leaning against the counter because your legs were still shaky, lando nodding towards the blonde.

“can’t sleep?” lando hummed in question.

“need to fill my water up.” pietra nodded with a smile, eyes flickering between you in suspicion for a brief moment as she realised this was almost an awkward thing to walk in on. you and him.

if only she knew.

you nodded in agreement, raising your glass of water as lando let out a small chuckle.

“if you need a late night snack, the donuts are great,” lando spoke again; your eyes falling onto him, and you were sure your face was bright red as you watched him bring his fingers to his lips; licking them clean.

you coughed on air, playing it off as if your water went down the wrong way; pietra oblivious as she nodded with a smile.

“i’ll keep that in mind.”

the smirk he’d sent you was sickening, and with that he was saying good night and excusing himself.

lando ended up needing a cold shower that night, with his own hand and images of you burned into his mind.

you were hoping your head would be clear when you woke up, but it was only more scrambled.

you’d gotten what you wanted, was it greedy to only want more?

“good night?” arabella had questioned you, sitting next to you on the long dining table; bowls of cereal in front of pair of you; and the smirk on her face was quite telling.

except she didn’t know the half of it.

“yeah, yeah it was good,” you hummed; eyes shifting to the other end of the table; where lando sat, already staring at you. the mischievous glint in his eye had you looking away quickly, the sly smirk not helping you in trying to play it cool to arabella.

you knew he was listening.

“did your… problem get solved?” arabella attempted to ask without outing you, so oblivious to the fact lando could easily piece together her words.

your eyes narrowed towards her, as if to say ‘shut up.’ which she only looked back at you with wide eyes, finding herself quite discrete.

“well?” arabella pushed, whisper yelling.

“yes,” you huffed; in hopes she would shut up, you could feel lando’s eyes burning into you. the man who solved your problem, unbeknownst to arabella who thought it was nicolas who was responsible.

“ah! how exciting,” arabella grinned; standing up and taking her bowel to the kitchen, only then did you let your eyes fall back on the british driver.

who looked oh so amused, you had to flee; following in the girls steps.

it set the tone for the next few days; longing looks, tempting smirks and lingering touches.

you couldn’t bring yourself to go out of your way and seek more of him; despite how much you wanted it. nicolas had been forgotten about, failing to explain your sudden interest and now lack of in the guy.

lando was all you could think about. how couldn’t you? he’d fingered you in the kitchen, bringing you to a mind blowing orgasm you’d been craving; one you hadn’t experienced since him. and once again, it had gone unaddressed.

the tension was clear; you got peace from the fact he was in the same boat as you.

you hated that he’d walked off so smug that night and you yourself had nothing to brag about, left to accept the fact that you needed him. had missed him.

and he knew it.

so maybe you were tactical, every day the dresses got shorter. bikini’s got smaller. you wanted to see him squirm.

which was easy.

it was ridiculous, how often you felt his gaze burning into you; feeling the heat on your skin from such thing. you’d blame the hot summer sun for the the constant blush on your cheeks but in reality it was him.

made to feel better by the way his jaw was constantly clenched. hands fiddling with one another. leg bouncing impatiently because he was furious with the fact you were no longer his, he couldn’t whisk you away and tear your clothes off like he wanted too.

left to simply stare. dwell on the facts. wish that he somehow gets a moment alone with you again.

there were sliding doors.

two minutes alone underneath the cabin on a boat, both trying to find something to drink. he swore you were about to kiss him before max came bouncing down the stairs.

you’d all gone out one night, somehow it was only you two left at the bar. lando was convinced this was it, he was going to drag you off to the bathroom.

but then arabella appeared, demanding shots.

you’d never admit that you went out to the kitchen most nights, hoping he too would be awake at such ridiculous hour again.

you tried not to get frustrated, even with the knowledge there was only a couple days till you’d be flying back home to reality.

finally however, you got lucky.

lando had gone on a run; unbeknownst to you, who had slept in.

you rejected plans of going to a winery, choosing for a day by the pool to save energy to go out tonight like planned.

your group of friends had attempted to protest your decision, but you insisted. bribed them with a promise you would do some baking while they were out.

that’s where lando found you.

stood in the kitchen. of course.

tiny bikini. typical.

and no one else in sight. lovely.

“smells fucking amazing.” lando hummed; slightly breathless as he sauntered into the kitchen, moving to stand against the island ━ a safe distance between the pair of you.

the voice had startled you, jumping slightly as you turned around.

you smiled appreciatively at his words, attempting to not stare at his exposed torso. tanned skin, beads of sweat decorating it. his muscles only more prominent as he crossed his arms, flexing invitingly.

“would feel bad letting such a big kitchen go to waste,” you explained; shrugging ever so slightly as your eyes returned to the chocolate chip cookies you were currently making. refuge from the sight of him.

he chuckled, and nodded; not that you saw. but his eyes didn’t leave you.

he should go up to his room.

“who’s home?” he couldn’t help but ask, feet planted. he wasn’t going anywhere.

the question had you facing what you were trying to ignore; the fact it was just the pair of you. it was dangerous knowledge.

“just us,” you spoke through a breath. if the tension wasn’t clear before, those two words had it falling upon the pair of you like bricks.

lando nodded once more, lips pursing. you were so tempting. this was what he’d been hoping for. he was impressed he even had the mental strength to consider running off. hiding in his room till your friends returned.

that idea didn’t last long though. moving towards you, you heard him approaching; his presence was demanding.

he was behind you, causing you to freeze. breath stuck in your throat.

“you’re driving me crazy.” he’d whispered, despite no fear of anyone overhearing; and you had to shut your eyes for a brief moment when his lips grazed your ear, ensuring you knew just how in reach he was.

you found some solace in his words, confirming your suspicions. reassuring to know you weren’t the only one going crazy. the only one feeling nostalgic.

“how so?” you played dumb, bottom lip rolling through your teeth ━ regardless your head tilted aside as his lips grazed your skin again, his breath fanning your skin.

you heard him grunt, and it would’ve made you giggle if you weren’t fighting off the urge to jump his bones.

“don’t act like it’s not on purpose.” lando huffed, hands moving to play with the fiddling strings of your bikini, fingertips only just brushing your skin.

you had to draw in another breath, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable. you needed some sort of power, just a physical reminder that he too was struggling despite his admission.

so you turned on your feet, eyes flickering up to his as you shrugged your shoulders; breaths slightly irregular from the closeness. right in front of you. trapping you against the counter.

“know you haven’t forgotten that all you need to do is use your words if you want me to fuck you,” lando spoke before you could, oozing cockiness despite his wandering eyes and tense jaw; his patience wearing thin.

once more you were cornered in the kitchen by his attractive frame and blunt words that had your thighs squeezing together.

“goes both ways,” you chimed; worried if you didn’t speak now you wouldn’t get a word in. you knew how this went; it was only a matter of time till you were a mess in his hands.

his eyebrows raised, he even scoffed; if he wasn’t so eager for you to go on he would’ve reminded you it didn’t.

lando always had a kink for making you beg.

“i already got what i wanted,” you hummed; hands moving to rest on his toned abdomen, running down and across the muscles before finding the waistband of his joggers. “something you want?”

your teasing tone had lando remembering just how worked up you got him, how frustrating and almost annoying you were. how annoying it was to deal with your antics that was.

“the other night was more than enough for me baby,” lando mused; not cracking, even with your hands on his body. “always look so pretty when you cum.”

you wish his words didn’t have such a visible effect on you. how flustered you got clear by the way the blood rushed to your cheeks, even while you stood here playing with the waistband of his pants.

it was pathetic; neither of you wanting to crack first, wasting precious time because you both really thought you were above this.

able to be friends. exes who wouldn’t go back to each other.

you knew he wasn’t entirely lying; of course you could remember how you were gifted a man who got off from getting you off. how he’d spent nights with his head just buried between your thighs. making you cum countless of times before he got his dick wet.

“cold shower treat you well?” you huffed; not letting him get away with such thing. as if he wasn’t standing here with the need to fuck you.

he smirked at your words, your attitude more so; the playful banter having been something he’d missed. something that wasn’t the same since things became platonic.

“did the job.” he laughed, hands still ghosting over your hips. “jealous i can still get myself off?” he couldn’t help but chuckle; and your jaw dropped at him using confidential information against you.

your hands still on his stomach, whacking lightly which he only chuckled harder at; and if you weren’t embarrassed you’d be taking in the way the smile was lighting up his face.

“that was not something you’re meant to use against me,” you practically grumbled; eyes narrowing up at him and he practically awed at the sight, adoring eyes and all as his hand moved to cup your cheek. his grin not matching the sympathetic eyes.

“i’m sorry,” he mumbled jokingly as he leant forward; not giving you time to reply as he put the both of you out of your misery, lips connecting with yours.

it wasn’t what you’d both expected, the kiss to finally ease the tension that had been building ever since a few nights ago in the same spot; the kiss was slow. passionate and deep, but not rushed.

it didn’t last long; but was nice in the moment however. to feel him.

the urge to feel more however was soon too prominent.

your hands that had linked behind his neck soon tangled in his hair. the grip he had on your waist soon moved to your ass, squeezing the flesh within his hold which had you leaning into him.

he lazily dragged you back with him, his back hitting the kitchen island as he practically held you against his body; lips moving in sync.

you felt his hard on with the movement, contained by his joggers; your own excitement jumping as your hands left his hair to snake down between your bodies; palming him.

the groan against your lips only motivated you; and while you wish you could do what he does, stand here and tease him; you were too keen to get your hands on him. to hear more of those pretty sounds he makes.

so you simply smiled up at him as you pulled away; bending down and settling on your knees; hands tugging his pants and underwear down with you; revealing his cock.

his breaths were a lot heavier as he watched you, leaning back against the counter ever so slightly, gaze fixed downwards as a small smirk tugged on the corner of his mouth.

he hissed as your small hand wrapped around him; thumb swirling the precum ━ you loving every bit of knowing how turned you got him from just a few words and the sight of you.

he wouldn’t ever deny it either; no one did it for him like you did.

“look so pretty on your knees,” lando praised; eager to gain back some control, despite knowing he’d do anything you asked of him right now; your hand feeling much than his did the other night.

you were eager to continue to please, so you didn’t waste any time in taking him in your mouth. it was as if he knew such thing, by the way his eyes were peering down at you.

his head fell back at the sensation, one he’d missed ━ arms flexing as he gripped the counter; a few curses strung together tumbling from his lips as you practically took him in whole first go.

his tip hitting the back of your throat did little to deter you. it was natural, as if you’d done such thing only a few days ago; not months ━ second nature as your tongue swirled his cock.

your eyes remained up, looking through your lashes as your head bobbed ━ knees uncomfortably shifting against the tiles but it was the last thing on your mind with the beautiful man above you.

taking in the way his abs flexed, neck strained and lips parted as you sucked him off ━ gagging occasionally but both of you knew that was no issue.

“missed this fucking mouth,” lando grunted, hand moving to tangle in your hair; both to keep it out of your way and to just have some sort of hold on you.

he was blindsided with pleasure, more than he remembered he’d be. your bikini did little to leave much to the imagination from his angle, watching as your breasts bounced with every movement. matched with your doe eyes, his jaw was slack.

you hummed as he tugged your hair lightly, the sensation one you always welcomed; and he too was reminded of such as he felt the vibrations around him. tugging again with a little more force.

his groans were gradually becoming more regular, hips bucking once or twice ━ pushing his cock further down your throat each time.

“just like that baby, always so good for me,” lando breathed, eyes screwing such momentarily as his head fell back once more.

you almost whined at the vision, wanting to scramble to your feet and kiss at his skin, feel all over him.

and he’d be happy to let you, he was hesitant in having you get him off first regardless; you hadn’t left much room for argument with good reason.

but right now he had no complaints, moans growing slightly louder in volume ━ grip tightening on the strands of your hair. he didn’t give you any warning as he came, but you didn’t need any.

the way he twitched in your mouth, you didn’t miss a beat ━ swallowing all you could; revelling in the way your name left his lips.

your mouth left him with a pop, gazing up at him to meet his adoring eyes, staring down at you as if you were the greatest thing to grace the earth.

because he did think of you as such. you continued to amaze him, he didn’t grow immune to such thing; just had managed to avoid the fact for a while now.

you stood to your feet, relieving your knees of the discomfort; a coy smile plastered on your lips at him panting and flustered.

you felt even, for the other night; reassured you weren’t the only one in need.

lando couldn’t complain either, couldn’t throw a playful comment towards you ━ not when you stood there with messy hair and swollen lips. all he could think about was turning you into a whiny mess, desperate to have you at his mercy again.

it was clear neither of you knew what to say in the few moments of silence; shamelessly admiring the other, catching your breaths. it wasn’t awkward however.

you were happy to feel his lips on yours once more ━ his hands not shy in wandering your body this time, sliding down to your thighs and hoisting you up immediately.

he was swift in turning around and placing you on the counter, stood between your legs as he hummed against your lips.

it wasn’t until his mouth ducked to your neck, then your collar bones, becoming harder to ignore as your head fell back, growing hot from the kisses he placed where-ever he could, that you spoke up.

“should go to your room,” you managed to get out, watching him through hooded eyes as he simply grabbed the material of your bikini to let your breasts fall free, kissing at the skin of them afterwards.

it wasn’t that you were worried on being walked in on, you had the house to yourselves for at least a couple more hours. you knew that. more so just the knowledge this wasn’t your house.

his eyebrows raised as he looked back up at you, hand sprawling over your stomach as he pushed you back slightly; your body blindly following the suggestion as you leant back on your hands.

“i paid for this villa baby, if i wanna fuck you on the counter i will,” lando murmured, hands spreading your thighs further apart; putting you in no position to argue you.

how could you? his words sounded like a promise, one you could only hope he would keep.

you nodded pathetically, suddenly aware of his hands resting high up on your inner thighs; suddenly aware of your own arousal and need for him.

he discarded of your bikini bottoms with ease, admiring your frame for a few moments as his hand reached to squeeze your breast, nipple rolling through his fingers moments later.

“lando,” you breathed; almost in warning, almost a whine. your legs were still spread and you were already resisting the urge to squirm. your patience non existent.

he only grinned, a slight chuckle maybe as his hands pushed your legs further apart once more.

“i got you baby,” lando hummed. “always so needy for me, you need me yeah? don’t you?” he spoke teasingly, tone painfully sweet as his fingers traced over your soaked folds.

you wanted to curse his obvious teasing, point out how you hadn’t been so cruel. but you knew it’d be no use.

you were scared to admit such thing, huffing as your hips bucked upwards momentarily.

“want to hear you say it.” lando grunted when he realised you weren’t planning on speaking; pinching your clit to get his point across, a strangled moan escaping you as your lips parted, falling into submission.

“need you.” you whined almost shamefully, head falling back as if the ceiling would offer you refuge from his hard stare. “please,”

your pleas were always music to his ears, so much so he debated with the idea of teasing you some more; to draw more whines and please out of you. but the way you were spread for him, so ready; he couldn’t help himself any longer.

you yelped at the sudden feeling of his mouth on your clit, sucking at your sensitive bud; not expecting such feeling as your eyes rolled back.

his hands manoeuvred your thighs to place your legs over his shoulders; giving him full access to your core as sweet moans started to escape you.

“o-oh my god,” you whimpered; eyes flickering to the sight of his head between your thighs ━ back arching as his tongue swiped through your folds, assaulting your cunt relentlessly as if he was starved.

you’d been reminded of how good his fingers were; so much so you hadn’t even considered getting his tongue again.

his large hands were squeezing your thighs, a bruising grip to keep you in place; eating you out expertly.

“lando━ feels so good,” you moaned as if that wasn’t clear by the way your hips were pushing against his hold. your right hand left the counter, moving to tangle in his curls, something to grab.

his blue eyes ventured to the sight of you momentarily, and he groaned into your cunt as he took note of the way your face was contorting in pleasure, how your body flinched with every move he made.

whimpers and moans were free falling, lando enjoying every single one ━ glad you could be as loud as you wanted, as loud as he made you.

you knew you were approaching your high shamefully fast, but had little room to care when you’d failed to reach it so much recently.

lando knew your body too well, could tell by the way you were tugging on his curls and creating more force against the hold he had on your thighs that you were about to cum.

he wanted you to let go, tongue flicking and nose bumping your clit ━ you orgasmed hard, suddenly; cumming on his tongue with what almost sounded like a squeal.

he didn’t stop, letting you ride out your high ━ before pulling away, wiping at the corners of his mouth.

you were mistaken however in thinking you would have time to catch your breath, not getting a word out before lando was moving only one leg off his shoulder and sliding two fingers into your entrance suddenly; thumb landing on your sensitive clit.

your body almost didn’t know how to react, falling back onto your hands that found the counter you sat upon once more to stabilise yourself.

“s’ too much,” you whimpered ━ legs attempting to squeeze shut, failing with the angle caused by one leg draped over lando’s shoulder, which allowed his fingers to hit deep within you.

lando hummed in amusement, knowing how much you could take. knowing you always said that, just to whine and cry out if he were to stop.

“too much?” he mocked; fingers curling and your body jerking. “want me to stop?” he breathed; smirking oh so cockily because he knew the answer. chuckling as you shook your head ‘no’ incredibly quickly.

“didn’t think so,” he huffed; thumb speeding up on your clit, rolling over the bud continuously. it was pure ecstasy, the overstimulation overwhelming your entire body.

his breaths were heavy as he admired you, the way you were shaking beneath him. reminiscent of how easily he could you like this, of the nights he made you cum four or five times before fucking you.

it killed him he didn’t have the time to do so again. but he couldn’t possibly complain right now.

“making a mess baby, all over my fingers,” lando spoke; the filthy sounds of his fingers moving in out of you filling the room, and you weren’t sure you’d last much longer when he entered a third. “so greedy. gonna cum again aren’t you?”

it was like he was three steps ahead of your body, leaving you to whine and nod pathetically.

“yeah? that what you want? to cum again?” lando spoke once more; watching as your head fell back, your eyes screwing shut and it satisfied him to see you feel the pleasure he was giving.

he was hard again, purely from his name sounding so fucking incredible as you moaned and moaned, from the perfection you were.

his hand grasping your cheek had your eyes flying open as lando tilted your head forwards to look at him, eyebrows raised in expectance.

“words pretty girl,” lando reminded, chin still between his thumb and index finger ━ struggling to focus on him with the numbing pleasure that was causing tears to form.

you nodded, before processing what he’d said. words. right.

“please lando,” you gasped; eyes pouring into his, pleading with his as your back arched and legs shook. you weren’t sure you’d be able to stop yourself. “gonna cum,” you whined.

lando felt it had been far too long to be cruel, so he simply hummed in appreciation; smiling lazily as he pushed you over the edge as he curled his fingers once more.

your vision went white, screaming his name as you came again, all over his fingers.

lando’s bottom lip rolled through his teeth at the sight, able to take in every moment, no restraint for either of you and it felt fucking amazing.

his hands gently moved your leg off his shoulder, stood between them as his hands massaged your thighs comfortingly, giving you a few moments to come down and catch your breath.

your eyes fluttered open, and immediately you were smiling stupidly at the sight of lando; his own grin mirroring yours as he hummed quietly.

“you’re so beautiful,” he whispered; unable to stop the compliment from escaping him, and your smile only grew; knowing you’d disagree if you caught sight of your tangled hair and flushed cheeks. 

it had your stomach flipping, men compliment you all the time. only lando would gain such a reaction.

“got another one in you?” his question was gentle; the sparkle in his eye daring, and you had no hesitation in nodding.

“need you inside me,” you mumbled, causing the driver’s smirk to return to its rightful place ━ glad your wants were shared.

you may have gone a long time without, but your stamina hadn’t faulted.

lando was tugging you to the edge of the counter at that, and you easily got lost in the kiss that he placed upon your lips; rough and messy as you melted into his hold.

it’d caught you by surprise, when he tugged you down onto your feet, spun your round and bent you over the marble surface; a gasp escaping you.

“missed you so much,” lando sighed; ushering your legs apart as your breath hitched in your throat. you didn’t know what to focus on, his words, your position or the feeling of his hands on your ass.

the confession wasn’t one you’d hold onto, you knew better than to cling to words uttered during sex. but god it felt great to hear.

“missed you too,” you assured him back, moan slipping past your lips as you felt his tip press against your folds; but he made no further movements.

your hips shook slightly, attempting to entice him ━ so needy despite having cum twice already. you just wanted him. all of him.

his hand moved up your back, tangling in your hair and creating a makeshift pony tail ━ one he tugged on immediately, your head snapping up.

“what did i say earlier? about using your words?” lando leant forward, lips grazing your ear; cock pressed against your entrance, causing you to cry out.

your body was overstimulated, tired; tired of his teasing. out of practice to predict his wants.

“want you to fuck me,” you whined quickly, rushing your words out as your hips pressed backwards. “need you lan, please,” you whimpered; sounding oh so desperate lando couldn’t possibly deny you.

he entered you without any more warning, bottoming out as your walls wrapped around him; your gasps intertwining as you gripped the counter below you.

the cool surface against your front did little to cool you down, moaning at the feeling of being so full. full of him again, after so long.

too long.

“always take me so well,” lando grunted in your ear; giving you a few moments to adjust before he was dropping your hair and standing up straight ━ hands finding your hips now.

his thrusts were harsh, rough and deep; not too slow or too fast, ensuring you felt every inch of him as your aching cunt squeezed him.

every move had your body jolting, moans escaping you; the counter and lando the only reason your legs were able to stay upright.

“so-so good,” you stumbled out, eyes rolling back as your body fell limp, unable to process the pleasure you were feeling. what you’d been deprived of and craving.

the driver too was losing himself in the feeling, head thrown back as he moved in and out of you ━ sounds of skin slapping filling up the large and empty space.

it was a mutual feeling, as to why the fuck this didn’t happen sooner. how on earth you two had been in such close proximity throughout the months and not gotten to this point yet.

safe to say keeping your distance now would be difficult.

lando felt the need to be closer, as if he needed more of you despite having you already at his mercy.

his hand found your neck with ease, wrapping around your throat and guiding your head up ━ causing you to stand up right, back against his chest.

he didn’t apply pressure, yet, but just the feeling of his large hand wrapped around the base of your neck had your legs feeling weaker; split open on his cock meaning lando’s body was the only thing holding you up now.

“feel good?” lando’s question was just him chasing praise, knowing you were fucked stupid; but he couldn’t help but want to remind you just who was the reason you could barely form sentences.

you nodded as much as you could in his hold. always nodding, he could ask or say anything and you’d find a way to say yes.

“only i can make you feel this good hm? only i can make you cum?” lando didn’t stop running his mouth, basking in the fact it was him that had the tears spilling out of your eyes. a sense of pride washing over him.

you choked out a yes, his thrusts having only gotten faster ━ and when his hand applied pressure to your neck you were almost certain you were in heaven.

“so perfect, so fucking perfect for me baby,” lando grunted in praise; and the kiss he pressed to your shoulder blade was a vast contrast to the treatment of your cunt.

it really was too much, the few tears and whimpers made that clear to lando; you were only moments away from cumming again and the thought alone had his own high dawning on him.

“come on angel, cum on my cock. cum for me,” he was speaking in your ear again; and you practically screamed as your third orgasm hit ━ body falling limp in his hold.

the way your walls squeezed him had him cumming with you, groaning as his forehead rested on your shoulder ━ erratic breaths filling the room as he stilled inside you.

all his touches were suddenly delicate, pulling out of you as he moved you to lean against the counter, still holding you up slightly as you caught your breath.

it was a comfortable silence, his hands ghosting over your waist as you pressed your eyes shut for a few moments.

you’d expected some sort of regret. an immediate now what? for one of you to panic or flee.

but instead, neither of you wanted the moment to end.

“want to join me for a shower?” lando broke the silence, a half smile that had you feeling an odd sense of relief.

one he felt too when you smiled right back, and nodded in agreement.

he’d chuckled, you would even go as far as to say he was grinning; hands grasping your thighs and picking you up with ease, carrying you off towards the bathroom.

when your friends returned you had been on the sofa, lando out by the pool ━ strategically placed to avoid suspicion, already under the assumption someone would’ve brought up the fact it happened to be you two who stayed back today.

chatter filled the room immediately, lando trudging in to greet everyone. you having stayed seated, purely because you didn’t trust your legs.

“burnt cookies y/n?” max had spoke across the room; having been first to stumble upon the overdone batch sat on the kitchen island you’d spent the last 15 minutes sanitising.

your cheeks flushed, purely because you could sense lando’s eyes burning into you.

you could picture the cocky smirk plastered on his face.

“yeah. my bad,” you laughed sheepishly.

and you were glad to be the only one paying attention when lando passed the back of the couch, finger grazing your shoulder as he did so.

“my bad,” he corrected; your eyes meeting his smug ones in passing.

━━

a/n: did y’all miss my shitty endings???

anyways idk what this is but here it is

unedited atm so apologies xox

as always appreciate feedback so so much, love u all and hope u enjoy 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

#f1 smut #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #lando norris smut #lando norris fic #f1 fic #lando norris x reader #lando norris one shot #lando norris imagine #lando norris angst #lando norris #f1 angst #f1 one shot #lando norris fluff

[whalesforhands]

what’s yours is mine (3/?)

previous masterlist next

pairing: geto suguru x reader x gojo satoru

You don’t know a lot of things, and you readily admit that. What you do know, is that the friends you’ve made aren’t something you will ever regret. Until your physical body weakens and becomes nothing, you’re more than happy to give your all until you wither away.

What’s yours can be theirs, too. They’re your friends, after-all. (Omegaverse AU)

You don’t cry.

At least, that’s what you like to tell yourself. That you don’t cry, that you’re a big girl. You can reach for the phone yourself, can use the swing-set on your own, can bite your lip and hold your face to stop the tears from spilling over when you scrape your knee. You can handle it.

Because it would trouble Mama if you didn’t, right?

So you never minded playing by yourself, never cared for the fact that it’s hard for you to get along with other kids back in all those other neighbourhoods, never ever felt that you needed to cry.

You have no reason to, after all. You’re happy, satisfied with the way you are, the way that you live.

So— Why?

Why does your face feel wet? Why are there droplets of water on the remainders of your drawing? You don’t remember rain being indoors. Don’t think that Mama would miss out on any leaks when the repairman came over the other day.

So why were you crying as your nose flared out and your eyes turned red? Why do you keep crying even as you furiously tried to wipe them away? Why does the new kid have to get so angry on your behalf? You don’t get it. Why did your only friend have to tear up the drawing you had spent so much time on? What does Satoru have against your neighbour? You really don’t get it. Not at all.

Why? Why why why why why—

You just don’t know many things. You don’t know why the sky looks blue, why the grass is green, don’t know why the moon can’t stay in the sky for as long as you want…

You really don’t know a lot.

But you know that crying doesn’t stop the two kids in front of you from pulling at each other’s hair and punching at each other, know that it won’t stop them from rolling on your floor as they continued to bicker and shout, know it doesn’t heal the fact that your drawing was torn in half and lying pathetically on your living room floor—

“What’s your problem?!”

“It’s none of ya business!”

It hurts. You know it hurts. To have your one and only friend tear apart your hard work, for him to trample on your attempt at being hospitable. And… To have him to look at you with such disdain and hurt when you tried to stop him from vandalizing your show of friendship.

Is it all your fault?

You know that Satoru can be rough, can be hard to get along with. You know that first-hand, experienced it for weeks on end. Though, you never expected him to react with such violent distrust of others, never expected him to get into senseless fights over someone you’re trying to get along with for the sake of good neighbourship.

(If that even was a word, anyway.)

Maybe it was something strange about the new kid— Geto Suguru. Something off, odd that taps at your brain even through your eyes that were starting to blur with tears. It’s not something you can get right off the bat, but hidden under layers that were hard to see through, kept tightly under wraps.

A feeling that resonates too closely, too close to home with your beloved Satoru.

Because they were smiling.

Even as Satoru’s hands pushed, shoved, punched and grabbed at his face, even when Satoru kicked at his chest and pulled at his hair— It’s like they liked being at odds, liked the fact that they could argue and tear into each other despite knowing the repercussions that could follow.

“Y’er ugly! With rotten soba hair!”

“Speak for ya’self, you misshaped snowman!”

Even as the black silks of hair flailed about, even as he feels Satoru pinch at his skin, you can hear the slight laughs in their hoarse voices, can feel the way the air was starting to lift the tension.

You can feel your heart pound, can feel your blood pump through your veins. You don’t want to be left out. Don’t know what’s gotten into you to feel this way as your hands start to shake and tremble.

And when you steeled yourself, wiping the tears off of your cheeks and the drooling leftovers of your snot, your eyes still caught wind of those shiny purple eyes that gleamed with a hint of insanity.

A blur of black and white, the brush of your flailing hair against your nape and the adrenaline causing your heart to go a mile a minute as you feel your feet leave the ground.

You tackled him. Or, one of them, actually. You don’t know which. With the full force of your body, with your eyes that were squeezed shut, with a loud squeal for a battlecry and an exhilarating exhale that made you want to hope you didn’t hit the new mail-order flower pot Mama had gotten as a gift recently.

You feel yourselves rolling about the soft carpet, the brush of the slightly coarse fabric against your skin as you end up slamming face first into your victim’s soft tummy as your ears end up filling with the sound of a rough slam and a pained groan.

But that wasn’t enough to stop you, even if you were fully aware of the fact that you had committed assault. Even as you lift your strangely heavy head and stamp your feet against the ground.

“Stop fighting, dummies!”

And it works, surprisingly. You’ve never used that much force. Not in your few years of living. You didn’t know you were even capable of this.

(But to be fair, you don’t know a lot of things.)

“I hate it!” And you can hear your voice crack, can feel a strange guilt and overwhelming tearing at your already fragile heart. Hate what? Hate the fact that they were fighting?

No. They were having fun, no? So what did you hate? Did you hate the fact that they got along without yo—

And he’s grinning up at you.

“Sorry, (name)-chan.” It’s decisive, the way he looks at you. Like he’s trying to find the best way to go about his next move, trying to fight back the adrenaline that came with the aftermath of a childish fight.

And that makes you cry all the more as you feel arms hug around your neck from behind, an angry, pouting Satoru clutching your head close to his chest and actively trying to tug you off of the bruised Suguru, only managing to get you to tumble your weight off his waist as you continue to cry, your tears drooling down your cheeks and onto his sleeves.

“I didn’t give ya permission to call her by her name!”

“That’s not for you to choose, ya know?” Your neighbour’s speech turns informal, straight to the point. As if he had given up on any airs he had initially put on, as if he was feeling the relief of breathing normally once more.

All whilst you were too busy breaking down.

“Stop cryin’, weirdo.” You feel a sleeve rubbing against your eyes, the soft grey hoodie turning your eyesight dark and gloomy, soaking up your tears as you feel snot starting to trail down your philtrum and onto your lips as you sniffle harder. “We’re fine.”

“Ugh, don’t rub your dirty clothes on her face…” A small whack and the sleeve flops off with no resistance, the fabric loosened from excessive pulling and tugging. You feel an unfamiliar hand press against your hair, lightly stroking in efforts to comfort you.

“Bleghhh! You take it too!” And Satoru’s shoving his sleeve into the new kid’s face.

“Gross!”

Peace is restored. Or, as much as it was when you’re all sat in a circle and trying to figure out what to do now that you all looked a little too worse for wear.

“You don’t have ice packs in your house?” He’s utterly confused as he watches you press a carton of milk against Satoru’s cheek, your head tilting to the side as you blink at him.

“Nope.” Ice packs? Why would you need that? Can’t you just use normal ice? Are you supposed to have something like that? “I can help you get some normal ice if you want—“

“She’s not poor, okay!” It’s your white-haired friend that interrupts you, his arms crossed and an angry pout on his face. It’s threatening and furrowed in all his entirety, chest puffing out to look bigger than he was as he glares at confused purple. “She says so!”

“…I didn’t say anything about that, though?”

“Hnn— I don’t think plasters are enough, (name).”Now he’s even lost the honorifics when calling to you. Suguru’s tapping against his bruised cheek, feet tiptoeing upon the stool in your bathroom as he observes his injuries in the mirror.

“Hey! No one ever taught you manners, new kid?!” And you’re stuck inbetween the both of them again as you stand as the sole barrier between the two. You feel grateful for the fact that you’re all about the same height.

“But you call her that all the time?” Suguru’s smile is all too mischievous, a smug grin on his face and a hand on his hip. He’s starting to get Satoru’s patterns now.

(You can tell.)

“That’s cause I’m me!” He’s huffing, a hand outreached to grip onto your wrist and tugging you closer so that you were physically on ‘his side’.

“Okay,” A curve of those pretty, slitted purple eyes of his upwards. “Satoru.”

“Hey! I didn’t give you permission for that, either!”

Despite all that, you broke out the bandaid collection you had been keeping for emergencies. Okay, to be honest— It wasn’t for emergencies. Chock full of random patterns and funny looking print, it was something you always asked your Mama to get you whenever she needed to make a quick run to the drugstore. Maybe a few of them were a bit too old, but they were still bandaids regardless.

(And least they would be put to their assumed use. You can’t keep everything the same forever, especially when all you do is open your little box to stare at them.)

But it was looking like the bandaids are a no go, either. Was it a you thing to lack so many resources in your own home? Though to be fair, you don’t exactly patch your own injuries up without the help of your Mama.

“Maybe we could go to my house?” He’s still nice to you even when it was your fault that he’s in this situation, even if you were the one that was meant to be the hospitable one.

Though, it’s not a bad idea—

“Nuh uh.” Here comes the stubbornness you learnt to acquaint yourself with. “No way ‘m I going in some weirdo’s house!”

(“But you’re in my house…”)

“But Satoru,” You nudge him slightly as he continues to stick the funny looking bandaids onto the skin of your arm, trying to think of a reasonable excuse to get him patched up by an adult.

You don’t come up with anything. So comes the next best thing; despite the fact it never works more than half the time.

“Please?”

You can see him furrow his brows at you, spiky hair only bristling ever slightly before he sticks another bandaid onto your leg, the usual glimmer in his eyes turning into one of uncertainty before they flash towards an awaiting Suguru with reddening bruises on his cheek.

“Fine!” This doesn’t mean he’s gonna be friendly though.

(“That was unexpectedly easy.”)

So you find yourself picking up the phone, shooing Satoru off the stool and letting him watch as you slowly push it to be just under the wall-mounted phone within your kitchen.

It rings maybe twice after your fingers manage to press the correct buttons, silently mouthing the numbers you memorized just for situations like this as Satoru stares up at you from the ground, sitting cross-legged right next to a curious Suguru.

“Darling? What’s wrong?” Her surroundings are loud. It sounds like there’s too many people talking in the background as you hear the clacks of her shoes.

“Mama.” Your voice is soft as you say her name, a smile unknowingly creeping onto your face when you hear her reply. “Can I go to… Suguru’s house?”

You can see a head of black perk up at that mention of his first name as a pale hand shoves at his shoulder from the corner of your eye.

“The new… Neighbour, right? Geto-san’s kid.” You nod, even with the knowledge of knowing she can’t see you as a shuffle sounds slightly, the rustle of her clothing against skin. “Did you make a new friend?”

Did you? Can you even consider him a friend yet? Do you even have that right? Maybe it was better to say that you did to ease any of her worries. “Mhm. I think Satoru likes him too.”

“Is that so?” You can hear her take a slight breath out, as if it was something akin to relief. “Then it’s fine. I’ll pick you up from there after my work, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, Mama!” You balance on your toes when you shove the phone back into place, crawling down from the stool as you feel Satoru’s hand snatch up yours to help you down.

Your Mama is the best-est. Definitely, there’s no arguing about it as you smile a little too much at the prospect of being able to talk to her for just that little while.

“Y’er so goody-goody.” His tone is haughty, his actions not ever matching as he squeezes your palm and his eyes glare at the floor. “It’s weird.”

You don’t see a problem with being good.

“I don’t wanna trouble my Mama.” You don’t want to trouble anyone, really. You know how bad it can feel. “It feels better when she’s not.”

“Hmph.” Ever with that attitude…

So it comes as a surprise when you see his eyes flash with that unfamiliar blue, his small shoulders squaring and feeling him switch to your other side just in time to cut off the route that Suguru’s hand was approaching.

“You can’t hold it.” He’s huffing and glaring, squeezing inbetween the both of you and physically blocking off Suguru’s sight of view, whilst at the same time shoving you behind him.

He’s adamant about this— So it ends with Satoru being stuck in the middle of the three of you as you all take the short walk to the Getos’ next door.

“Your Mama’s gonna be mad.” You say it out of concern for your newly acquired friend, past the head of white between the both of you.

“Yep.” Like he was used to it, sheepishly scratching his cheek as he grins at you. “Are you worried about me, (name)?”

“Mhm. I don’t want you to get in trouble.” It’s genuine. Who even likes pain, anyway?

“You’re so nice, (na—)”

“I hope she spanks ‘im.” It’s said in tandem with Suguru’s sentence, affecting cutting him off as he keeps his head up and his smug attitude even higher.

“I can hear you, ya know?”

“That’s the point, dummy.”

At least they’re getting along better now. The bickering slowly turning into a silence as you all approach the daunting front door. It looked like it was already frowning in disapproval at the three of you, already looking far too scary despite being just that—

A door.

(Even Suguru was starting to squeeze your arm slightly in worry when you began knocking upon the wood. So even he can get scared, huh?)

“Yes! Just a moment, please!” It’s muffled, sounding like it was coming from metres away as you hear the hurried patter of feet, of soft slippers against cypress wood as the door swings open.

“Hi, Geto-san.” You blink up at her in greeting when she finally lets her eyes trail downward upon hearing your voice, an exhale escaping her once she realizes it was just you.

“Oh, hello dear! What brings you— Here?!” Her voice turns hurried, panicked. And in quite the timeframe as well as soon as she spots the various bandaids doing a horrible job at hiding the bruises and reddening marks, the loosened clothing and light scrapes on their knees from roughhousing on your carpet.

(You should ask Mama to invest in a softer one. You’ll help save up.)

You hope you all don’t get into much trouble. Hope. That’s all you can do now as all three of you are frantically ushered inside and pushed into the wide expanse of his very… Full-looking living room.

His house is— Warm. There were boxes stacked everywhere, piled high until some touched the ceiling. You see some of them half-opened, most still fully sealed as you let your eyes wander around.

It smells… Nice in here. You don’t have to try hard to catch a whiff of the orange blossom room freshener being spritzed about, wafting about the room. Though— If you do try… You can catch the subtle scent of cinnamon. It’s barely there when you stick your nose in the air to catch it, before it disappears again.

You swear you’ve smelt it before, though.

“Oiiiii, (nameeeee)!” You see a pale hand wave about in front of you, blinking pairs of blue and purple huddling before you as you dazed off on Suguru’s very, and you mean very, soft couch.

“My mama finished icing our injuries.” He’s waving at you in efforts to get you back once he sees your eyes go back into focus. “She’s gonna scold us after she calls Satoru’s and your mama though.”

Now that’s bad. You physically deflate onto his plush seat. So much for trying to make a good impression like Mama would have wanted you to.

“Don’t sweat it! I barely ever get in trouble, anyway!” Satoru’s now squishing your cheeks in his palms, rubbing his hands into your skin and messing with you to snap you out of your daydreams.

(Lucky him.

“Whattttt? That’s not fair.” Suguru’s the one pouting now as he crosses his arms.

“Huhu!” A triumphant rub of his finger just under his nose. “Can’t get scolded if you’re the great Gojo Satoru!”)

“Okwayyy.” You pat the back of his hands to signal him to let you go as you try to nod despite the fact that he was holding your face.

“Then let’s go! I wanna play in Suguru’s room before Geto-mama gets us!” First name usage already. You don’t even have time to fully process it before he’s bolting up the stairs, too engrossed in his overwhelming want to judge and intrude into spaces he’s never been in.

“What are you thinking about?” It’s Suguru who asks that as you both slowly ascend, making sure you’re safely holding onto the railing as you take it one step at the time.

“I don’t know.” To be honest, you really never get what was your habit of picking up on smells. It wasn’t on purpose. You really didn’t know why you did it.

And that makes him chuckle. Just the slightest bit as he pats your back, hand reaching for your wrist to gently tug you upwards.

“You’ll figure it out.”

It looks like you will be getting a new friend, afterall.

——

You think time is strange, but not as much if you compared it to the weather. From bright, sunny days that always looked like there were too little clouds— To days where the bright orange of the sun had descended from space to spill over onto the leaves of the green trees. You can feel the wind turn chillier, days turning darker—

Autumn is what Mama calls it. As she was in the midst of unpacking your winter clothes that had been stuffed deep inside the closet. She says it’s because those orange and red leaves mean it’s going to be cold, that the trees are preparing for what you learned to be known as winter.

You don’t know if you can consider them ‘pretty’ or ‘cute’. Maybe the best word to describe the autumn you see right now would be… Orange…?

(Time changes the weather and the seasons— But it certainly hasn’t changed your lack of vocabulary, it seems.)

Oh. And it also changes people’s clothes. Time is really powerful, if you think about it.

“Good morning.” He’s smiling, waving at you with a hand and a blushing face bitten from the cold breeze as he steps into your genkan, slightly shivering and his hair completed windswept tussle. “Let’s go play today?” His head tilts to the side, the scarf around his neck shifting with his movement as his smile grows ever sweeter.

Pretty.

“Okay.”

It’s not all of a sudden, really. You’ve gotten used to either of them coming over to your home now. A quick rap at your door for Suguru, a polite ring of your doorbell if it was Kimiko-san, and very incessant drumming against the wood if it was Satoru. And honestly? You don’t mind, not at all. If this is what it’s like to have friends, you think you would want at least 23 more.

(Because that’s the highest you can count up to.)

Your walk together is silent. It’s not uncomfortable by any means, don’t get yourself wrong. If anything, it was a tranquil that was unlike something you have with Satoru, a tangible emotion that makes your heart flutter that tiny bit and your cheeks warm with a little heat when your small fingers brush against each other when walking side by side.

Until they weren’t, that was.

“Satoru’s always holding your hand—“ You can see the slightest blush on his face when he notices your stare at the intertwined fingers, the heat of warmth so similar, yet so different from when you hold your Mama’s. “So I thought I’d try it out since he wasn’t here…”

Right. He was ‘not allowed’ to do this— All due to the ‘Satoru Ban’ as you both dubbed it. It was inclusive of, but not limited to; the smacking of his Suguru’s hands off of your clothes, the banishment of said boy from Satoru’s playground, the prohibiting of Suguru from even looking at you sometimes.

It’s honestly a surprise how he hasn’t stopped being friends with both of you.

Though, today was supposed to be special. It was the day that Suguru was finally allowed to play at the playground for the first time. The day he was finally allowed to view the ‘special playground’ he keeps hearing Satoru brag about whenever he was in earshot, how he has finally ‘earned his right’ to play with the both of you.

(Which you vehemently disliked as you frowned and pouted at your snowy-haired friend, refusing to talk to him and turning your nose up at your beloved friend until he apologized with a blushing face and his eyes cast downwards. To the both of you.

He’s starting to be a little like you, if you think about it. Kimiko-san has been showing an odd amount of gratitude to you too.)

But back to the main point— There’s nothing special about your hand. No matter how often Satoru liked to grab at it for his own. Your gaze flickers down to your free one, palm facing towards you and stretching, wiggling your fingers about, scrutinizing every curve and groove of it.

There’s really nothing special about it. So you take an exhale out in disappointment. Looks like you don’t have some superpowers, after all.

“Do you feel anything?” Honestly, you’re not expecting much. Not anything specific, really… But it would be cool if Suguru told you he can sense the hidden power you’ve been keeping dormant inside your body all this time.

(Cause that’s how powers are discovered. You saw it in an anime last week.)

“Hm…” He squeezes your hand lightly in thought, swinging back and forth in contemplation as he continues to walk with you in tow. You can feel your hand gently being shaken and played with, his fingers tightening around yours as you let him tussle and squeeze and squash his palm against your own.

It’s for the sake of knowing, after all. And to discovering all your hidden potential. Hopefully. Maybe?

You can hear him hum, hear the contemplation in his tone as he closes his eyes for just those few moments. “It feels nice.”

Too nice, even. He kind of gets why Satoru likes grabbing at them so much now when he tightens his grip upon just the feeling of your fingers twitching ever just so slightly.

“…?” It’s a wordless inquisition, one that he gets almost immediately when he lifts his head up to look you in the eye and the shuffling of his scarf around the lower half of his face.

“I like holding your hand.” Wow. That’s more embarrassing to say out loud than he thought. But… It’s nice. To be straightforward like this. It feels raw, genuine. Something he wasn’t used to experiencing.

It feels right.

“Oh.” Your eyes drift off to the side before they slowly trail to the ground as your shoes tap against the concrete— And to your shoes. Velcro is easy to put-on. Mama should buy you more velcro shoes, since your dream of having superpowers to magically tie straps and strings was just crushed.

“So I’m not the chosen one.” How disappointing.

Odd. You are very odd. That’s what Suguru would think, if he hadn’t watched that anime with both you and Satoru last week.

“Maybe your superpower is having nice hands to hold.”

Maybe so.

And time just kept passing. Through autumn with days spent running about in the playground when it wasn’t too cold, playing with the toys in Suguru’s room when it was the weather’s fault you all couldn’t play outside… And lounging around on your futon when there’s nothing to do.

Though, you know those days don’t last forever either. Soon there were the snowy white winter months where you had Satoru calling almost every day at the earliest hours. With the snow growing annoyingly thicker, and the air considerably colder— He wasn’t allowed to be out much at all.

You hear excessive complaining over the phone, as you curl up under your blanket, Mama’s cellphone to your ear and your dozing off self struggling to stay awake to the grumpy squeaks.

Because according to him, it wasn’t fair that Suguru can come and go from your house because he lives right next door, that it wasn’t fair that he can’t play with the both of you.

Such was the curse of the pure white days, you suppose. You spend them waving at Suguru through the window and talking over the phone until Mama needed it back.

And of course, you can’t forget the pollen-filled spring that bloomed pretty flowers that had Geto-mama teaching you how to make flower crowns from her garden— Realizing that it makes your Mama’s sneezes act up a whole lot more; especially when she tries to wear them. An entire season that also brought about Satoru’s growing clinginess when he demands that you allow him to come over everyday, crossed arms and stamping feet and an apologetic Kimiko-san at your door as she tries to offer more snacks as compensation.

(You don’t blame her, you can’t. And at the same time… Mama’s eyes always nearly bulge out of her head whenever she spots another fancy package on the kitchen counter.)

And you learn that days go by all too quickly when you’re having fun, so it wasn’t long until summer was back once more.

Time really is weird. It doesn’t take much to know that. You’re still not really sure if you truly like it.

On the plus side, time brings about age. You realize you’re finally growing up when Mama comes up to you, hands behind her back and all excited sweet smiles and upturned eyes with a the telltale scent of honey as you perk up. You’re happy if she’s happy. So you’re smiling when she presents to you—

A randoseru backpack. Sturdy, heavy, space inside to hold things and has two straps— Definitely a backpack.

“Ya been wearin’ that the wholeeeeeee dayyyyyyyyyyy!” He’s drawling it out hard, all furrowed brows and puffed up face. “Aren’t ya tired???” Gojo Satoru is pouting up at you from his position on your floor as you keep staring at your reflection.

You’re unfazed.

“I think she looks nice.” Suguru’s humming as he nods, a hand under his chin and a smile on his face as he watches you hold onto the straps of your backpack and stare— Almost unblinkingly into your mirror. “It suits you.”

It does, doesn’t it? You’re glad he agrees. Glad he likes it just as much as you do as you keep staring into your reflection with sparkly eyes and jitters in your stomach. This was perfect.

“Mama said it was for—“ What was it again? She taught it to you just this morning. “Eluh… Ment-airy?” Sounds about right.

A blink from the both of them. You’ll admit you aren’t the best at remembering recent things.

“Ya mean school?” Satoru’s got you covered, thankfully. He says he’s so smart cause he gets his own personal teach-er. It must be nice to know so many things. “Pfft,” He flubbers his tongue, his arms and legs outstretching to resemble a floppy starfish as he makes more whines. “School’s bad! Learning’s boring! Just stay home and play with us!”

“I like learning, though.” You do. You’re not the best out there, but at least you like it. That’s what matters.

“Mmm… Is it Akutami Elementary?” It’s slow; the way Suguru pronounces the words. Like he’s careful about not slipping on any of them, like he has committed himself to remembering it.

And you feel your heart fluttering at the name; an odd sense of excitement instilled into you at the recognition, vigorously nodding as you swivel to face him. How did he know?

“Yeah. Mama says I’m going there next spring.”

You can barely help the grin on your face, the happiness making you feel light on your feet and your mind all mushy with joy. Though…

“But I wish you both were there too, though.” And you’re back to staring down at your socks, eyes turning wistful and a frown starting to take over. It would be… Lonely, without them. Maybe you’re just too used to being around them all the time, or maybe you’re just being selfish.

You don’t really know.

“But I’m going there too.“ And he’s smiling right back at you when you’re hurriedly clasping his hand into both of your own, all glittery eyes and excitedly squeezing as you feel the bubble you’ve been keeping inside burst.

“Real— Really? You’ll be there too?” You’re leaning in so close, pushing your face into his own until they were mere inches away from each other as your lip practically trembles in all your stored excitement.

You’re funny. But your hands feel nice on his, so he won’t complain.

You both miss a certain snowy-haired friend, pouting off to the side and finally sitting back up, glaring at the tatami mats of your floor before… He recovers all too quickly with a glimmer in his eyes and a smile on his face.

It’s not like he’s letting the two of you go anywhere without him. That’s banned.

“What elementary did you say it was again?”

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#jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #satosugu x reader

[j-u-u-z-o]

“You Wish That Was You, Huh.” Atsumu x F.Reader NSFW‼️ 18+

AN: Okay here’s another Atsumu scenario! I can’t get enough of him lol. I had A LOT of fun writing this piece and I hope you all enjoy it! It’s long but it’s worth reading. Trust me, you’ll love it all the way to the end! 🤣👏🏾 This was inspired from a “Jersey Shore” S2 episode. I had to write this one!

Synopsis: Atsumu makes a surprise visit to your college campus before his next flight and your roommate(best friend!) wants to kill him just for being…HIM 😒. How will this turn out?

WARNING: atsumu being atsumu, sly fox, clingy couple (mostly atsumu), third-wheeling, cock-blocking (yes lol), making out, snuggling, fingering, smut, squirting, kissing, interesting ending to a story lol. GRAMMAR

Reference: “the roommate” is reader’s BFF. So, please note that “your roommate” or “your best friend” mentioned in the story is reader’s best friend. (I don’t want to confuse you!) ^^

Take your time reading due to pacing and dive into the story! It’s gonna be very interesting. 😊❤️

——————————————————————————

8:10PM

“Alright let’s wrap up, class! The professor announced. “Let’s quickly finish working on this tomorrow and then we’ll start reviewing for the exam.” He turned off the projector. “And..oh! Don’t forget that your midterm exam will be this Friday!” He reminded the students in the lecture hall. He started packing up his stuff and the students did the same too.

The sounds of the chair seats automatically going up and the shuffling of students leaving the lecture hall filled the air. You and your roommate started packing up. “Oh my god... My hand hurts so bad. Your roommate complained as she closed her messy binder and puts it in her backpack. “Mm. Mine too.” You hummed, putting your pens in your pink pencil case. The two of you had the most extensive lecture about physics. You took note of everything because your professor randomly decided to add a new topic to your midterm exam. Your roommate who’s also your best friend since high school, grunted in frustration as she shoved the binder into her bag. You snorted at her. “I know, I know.” You sympathized with her, resting your cheek on your knuckles while you waited for her. After you two packed up, you got up from your seats and walked out the lecture hall. “It’ll be worth it though. His exams are…kinda easy.” You said. “Yeah. sure.” She rolled her eyes. You nudged her shoulder. “Don’t worry. You have me. Plus, we always sit next to each other.” You smiled at the pouting girl. She hummed in agreement, feeling lucky that she’s still best friends with you.

A mix of conversations echoed through the crowded hallway while the two of you were headed out to the Girls Dormitory. “Sooo, what are the plans for the rest of the evening?” She asked with excitement, as if she wasn’t just in pain earlier. You disregard the fact and thought about her question. “Mmmm.” You wondered, tapping your chin with your finger. “We could play Animal Crossing on our Switch or maybe…play family feud?” You looked at her and she nodded at the fun ideas as you continued to think. “And then…we can catch up on some episodes of “Love is Blind”? Her eyes shined bright with excitement when you mentioned that show and you giggled, while the two of you walked out of the school building and strolled to the other side of the campus — the dorms.

As you two giggled about how the week has been going. You boyfriend, Atsumu, was lying in your bed. He was scrolling through TikTok while he waited for you. He came back from a volleyball tournament in Tokyo — which his team won a few hours ago. He decided to make a surprise visit to come see you since he has enough time before he leaves to go to Spain, tomorrow morning. As you walked in the dorm hallway, your bodies suddenly started to feel lazy. “You know what…” she randomly announced. “Let’s just catch up on the episodes instead.” You giggled at the change of plans. “Yeah. Let’s take a shower first.” You took out your dorm key card. He heard the sound of the knob turn and he immediately prepared himself to surprise you. You let out a tired sigh when you opened the door and walked in. Your roommate turned on the light behind you.

“Hey baby.”

You froze with a frown on your face. You lifted your head up and saw a young man with blonde hair, wearing a MSBY sweatsuit, sitting on the edge of your bed, smiling at you. Your eyes widened at the familiar face and you shouted, “Tsumu~!♡” You dropped your bag on the floor and ran to your boyfriend. You jumped to hug him and his back fell on the bed. He wrapped his arms around you tightly. “Hey baby~.” He chuckled, greeting you again while you happily whined above him. You haven’t seen each other in over two months. You two have been face-timing and each other everyday. But, It’s been hard for you two. Especially for him because he’s known for being clingy. Only to you, though. As you two squeezed each other lovingly, she stared back in disgust at the doorway. at him. She didn’t expect the blonde to come at all. She rolled her eyes and moved both your bags to the side and walked to her side of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a while, You and atsumu were still “greeting” each other. Saying how much you miss and love each other while being in each other’s embrace. She almost wanted to vomit as she sat in her bed. She has a long history of disliking your boyfriend for so many reasons. Like, how he’s a cocky, annoying, and clingy asswhole, she mentally noted. Her eye twitched in horror when she started hearing a pair of lips slowly smacking against each other, lovingly.

Oh no.

Her eyes widened in horror. She can’t let this go on. “Hey, Y/N.” She said boldly from across the room that it interrupted your little make-out session. You broke the kiss. “Hm?” You looked back at her and atsumu rolled his eyes. “Let’s watch the show that we wanted to catch up on. Remember?” She whined with a fake pout on her face “Oh…right.” You slowly crawled off of him. He sucked his teeth. Luckily, you didn’t hear it as you walked to turn on the TV. He stared at the ceiling in annoyance when you left him to go sit next to your best friend on her bed. you two searched for the episodes you missed. After a few minutes, a long sigh from him caught your attention. He did it on purpose, though. Unbeknownst to you. You turned to see the blonde lying on his side — facing the wall as he scrolled on his phone. He looks so bored, you thought.

You got up and walked towards your bed. You didn’t see her, but your best friend shook her head in disbelief when you got off her bed. You slowly crawled up to your bed and laid down bed in front of him. “I missed you~” He immediately dropped his phone and smiled at you softly. Instantly giving all of his attention to you, again. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close to him and started leaving soft wet pecks on your shoulder. “You okay, tsum?” You brushed his shoulder with your fingertips. “Now, I am.” He said almost loudly and you went back to watching the dating show from your side of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What time is your flight tomorrow morning?” You looked at the blonde lying beside you. “At 11AM. Gotta leave early ta’ get to the airport.” You pouted — you didn’t want to him leave you again. “Where is the game going to be at?” You looked down on the bed — away from his brown orbs, sadly. He knows how you’re feeling. “Spain.” He brushed your back from underneath your tank top, gently. His fingers played with the clasp of your bra. “But I should be coming back soon though. Cuz’ we’re gonna have press conferences and shit.” You hummed as he spoke. “Plus ya have spring break coming up. so we’re def gonna be doing lots of things.” He cheered you up. You looked up at him and he saw the familiar light in your eyes that makes him smile. “Don’ worry. it’ll be all over before ya know it.” He stroked your cheek with his thumb and leaned forward to kiss your lips, gently. You hummed in agreement and smiled softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few moments passed and the sounds of whispers of sweet nothings and giggles filled her ears from the other side of the room. You were trying to watch the show and comment on odd moments that happened but you couldn’t. He was leaving soft kisses on your neck. Especially on your favorite spot that always makes you flutter. You tried to gently push him away but Atsumu pulled you closer and chuckled at your failed attempts. He knows you don’t want to stop him; proof from your cute giggles. He slid his hand down to the bottom of your shorts from underneath and kneaded the back of your thighs lovingly as he did. “W-wait!” You gasped in a whisper, pulling his hand up to your waist. But, he moved it down to where it was, on purpose. “T-Tsumu!” You whispered lowly, giggling. His hand felt so warm and comfy against your skin. But you’re being mindful of your best friend who lives in the same room as you. At one point, he was getting a little too handsy. As his lips wrapped around yours gently, he slid his hand up your shorts and grabbed a cheek. “O-oh my god.” You broke the kiss. “Tsumu~!” You whined playfully, quickly sitting up to go back to your friend. But, he pushed you down and chuckled. You giggled when your back met the bed. Her eyes twitched at the sounds coming from the other side of the room. He slid his hand under your shirt. “Ah!” you squeaked, his hand burning your skin, lovingly. “W-wait…” you sat up, pretending to look for something. “l-lemme just — ah!” You squeaked when he pushed you down again and you giggled in defeat. He smirked and leaned over and pulled you closer to his side. “Ya’ not goin’ anywhere~.” He said playfully, caressing your side. “Tsum-“ He leaned forward to kiss you your soft lips, cutting you off. “Mmm~.” You kept giggling at the blonde while you moaned in between his playful kisses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had long forgotten about watching the show as you were hiding under the blanket with him; kissing each other softly while he rubbed your side. Of course, the lip smacking sounds didn’t go unnoticed. Eventually, your friend randomly ripped her eyes from the tv screen and her heart sunk when she saw his hand peeking out from under the blanket— dropping your bra on the floor. “Gotta free ‘em ya know?” He said offhandedly, kneading your plump breast and going back to kissing your soft lips. You moaned in agreement as he massaged your tit. She couldn’t unsee the act and shook her head at his audacity. She knew he said that on purpose.

Bastard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You both kissed each other slowly and lovingly under the covers. You cupped his left cheek — keeping him close to you. She couldn’t hear the sounds from you two clearly; realizing that you were successful in keeping him from making any more noise. He gently broke away from the kiss and threw the covers over so that he can take off his black t-shirt. She saw the act from the corner of her eye. “That’s better.” He muttered after throwing it on the floor. He turned back to you and you brushed your hand on his abs as he lifted the covers over his head. He gave you quick kiss on your lips and leaned down and pulled your tank top down and eyed your tits. Your cheeks started to feel hot when he started massaging the flesh. “Mm.” You bit your bottom lip and lifted up the blanket to cover your chest when he began licking your nipple. You shivered as he did and gently scratched the back of his head to keep going. A satisfied groan left your lips when he circled your perky nipple, slowly. “Mmm.” You twitched, feeling the warm muscle fondle it. His eyes were shut as he licked it and then he gently sucked it. His lips felt so warm around your hard nipple. You watched how focused he looked— latching onto it like he was kissing you, lovingly. A satisfied sigh left your lips and you leaned forward to feel more of his crafty tongue. Your roommate heard your soft moans and looked at the mirror that was hanging on the bathroom door next to the tv stand. She could see you lying in bed, looking down at the blonde lovingly while his head was bobbing slowly. He was seemingly pleasing you. She saw you scratching his undercut, gently. He applied more pressure on latching your nipple and then flicked it gently. He looked up at you and saw you in bliss. He smiled as he did and kissed your nipple — earning him a soft kiss on his forehead. “Unh~” The feathery grazes on your nipple made you shiver at the pleasure. It felt so good that you hooked your right leg over his side and rested it there. “Mm.” You planted another soft kiss on his forehead. Your pussy was throbbing at the fluttering sensations. His exhales brushed your skin as did and he stroked your leg and then slid it up to knead your ass and —

Smack!

“Hey! Be nice!” You hissed loudly, blushing incredibly hard and pulled his hand up to your waist as punishment. He was doing so well up until he chose to be an idiot. He chuckled. He did that on purpose. Again. Your roommate rolled her eyes at the fact as she stared at the tv screen. He pulled you over him to get you to straddle him. “Don’t do that. That was rude.” You muttered, poking your fingers on both of his cheeks. “ a’ didn’t do anythin’ , baby~” He puckered his lips like a fish and you giggled. “Tsum-.” “I’ll try.” He cuts you off, caressing your ass. You gave him a blank look on your face, unconvinced. “What~? Only for you, baby~.” He smirked and lifted his head to kiss your soft lips. “Now, Lay down on me~” he whined playfully, pulling you down on his chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sounds of heavy exhales coming from his nose rang in your friend’s ears. She didn’t rip her eye away from the screen until a deep gutteral moan came out from the blonde. She snapped her head and saw your bodies hidden under the blanket, moving around slowly and she quickly looked away in annoyance and blushed. I can’t believe I’m Involuntarily third wheeling; it came down to the fact. You were grinding on his bulge roughly but steadily as he bucked his hips up to meet your sweet warmth. “Awh…yeah.” He muttered lowly, his hands bouncing on your ass. “Mmm.” You stammered lowly, cupping his cheeks to keep him focused on you while your pebbled nipples rubbed against his chest. You circled your ass around his cock — hidden under his sweat pants and rolled your hips up in a wave like motion. “Yeah, baby.” He whispered, biting his lip as he looked up at you, trying to keep his moans from coming out loudly, as he was getting too hard. His dark brown orbs pierced your eyes — making you bounce your ass on him, loving. “Ahhh.” He breathed lowly, hissing at the sensation. He gripped your thighs from behind and pushed his feet in and started thrusting up your clothed warmth with good measure. Your bed started squeaking. Your pants rang in his ear as he did, feeling his erect cock poking your clothed pussy, persistently.

Your pussy was throbbing excitedly from his ministrations that you suddenly rolled over off of him and laid on your side. “Hm?” He whined, at your sudden “departure”. You can’t do this. Not when your best friend is in the room. It feels rude. To you. But you did want to finish what he started, though. He turns you into a hot mess all the time. “Tsum~” You whined and cupped his cheeks — coaxing him to come closer to you. His leaned forward and his lips instinctively enveloped yours and he kissed you softly. Both Wet lips gently smacking the other rang between you two while he caressed your tummy. You lifted your right leg — encouraging him to spread his warm hand all over your body. He slid his hand into your shorts and cupped your pussy. “Mn.” You quivered at the burning sensation and rested your right leg against the wall. You wrapped your fingers around his wrist to keep him there. Your roommate forgot about the show and watched whatever was on YouTube on her phone; unbeknownst to her that his fingers were rubbing your throbbing pussy from under the blanket. He kissed you deeply — stealing your moans while his fingers rubbed your folds. “Mmm.” Your arched your back for more of that sensation — making you wetter every time he caressed it slowly and softly.

Soon after, your slickness covered his fingers. Making it easier for him to spread it all over your pussy. he simply slid a digit into your cunt and You twitched at the sudden intrusion and clenched the finger lovingly. “You like that.” He whispers against your lips and chuckled. Your hand still held on to his wrist as he slowly thrusts into your tight core. “Ooo.” You whispered, relishing the digit stroking your plush walls as he rubbed your clit with his thumb. Lost in his ministrations, your roommate can clearly see what he’s doing to you in the mirror: you raised your leg to rest the heel of your foot against the wall and your fingers scratching his undercut. Especially, the way his left arm is slowly pushing back and forth underneath the covers. She stared unashamedly at the scenery and heeded the deep kisses to keep you from moaning loudly. You rolled your hips in circles to make him go deeper and he smirked. “U-Unh~” You choked on your breath when he bent the digit and rubbed your spongy spot. You shivered at the sensation and let out a quivered sigh. “Ha-haaaa….” The fingertip brushed your spot so well that your stomach fluttered, lovingly.

Your roommate’s heart sunk deeply and she quickly snapped her head to your side of the room when heard a very loud gasp escape from your lips. you cummed. “Oh fuck.” You panted breathlessly, clenching around the digit. Your toes were clenching and unclenching against the wall. He leaned down and kissed your neck. “Mm.” You stared up at the ceiling and circled your hips as he rubbed your throbbing clit slowly to help you cool off. He planted wet pecks on your hot skin as he did until you quickly gripped his wrist and said, “L-lemme go pee, babe.” You felt like you’re about to squirt in a few seconds. He nodded and kissed your forehead. You sat up and the blanket fell down to your lap. “Ya wanna show your tits to everybody?” He chuckled, staring at your beautiful perky tits. “Huh?” You looked down. “O-oh my god.” You giggled and covered your breasts with your arm. This is what exactly happens when he has you wrapped around his finger. You got off the bed and he picked up his black shirt and tossed it to you. “Wear this to protect my babies.” “Shut up!” You giggled at the blonde as you put it on. “I’ll be back.” You said and he nodded. “Wait - gimme a’kiss.” He stopped you and you turned back to him and kissed him. You broke away from the hot kiss and skipped to the bathroom down the hallway.

He’s so damn clingy, your friend scoffed and went back to watching a Clothing Haul video on YouTube. The air felt so awkward since you left. Extremely awkward. “You wish that was you, huh?” He broke the silence, smirking deviously at your her. She looked up and saw the biggest fucking smirk on his face. She wanted to punch him so fucking badly. He giggled at the woman and said, “I bet ya do.” Her brows furrowed. “Shut the fuck up.” She rolled her eyes. “Sorry~, can’t hear ya.” He grinned, picking up his phone to check his notifications. The cocky blonde was teasing your best friend “playfully” while you went to use the toilet. She shook her head. He honestly doesn’t know why she doesn’t like him but he doesn’t care to know. “I gotta show my love for my girl ya know -“ “okay…I’m back.” you walked towards him and stood in between his legs. He immediately wrapped his arms around you and looked up at you. “What?” You giggled, resting your arms on his shoulder. “Nothin~‘“ he smiled softly at you.

She rolled her eyes at the annoying fox. “I’m gonna go shower.” She got up from her bed and gathered her stuff in annoyance. “Oh…okay.” You slowly nodded at her as she walked out the room. “What did you do?” You poked his forehead. He whined. “I didn’t do anythin’~ “ he pouted and looked up at you with sad puppy eyes. You shook your head and pushed him down on the bed and he pulled you down to his chest. He pulled you down with him. “Don’t be piss me off, Tsumu.” He chuckled at your warning. “I love you baby~” he wrapped his arms around you with a playful smirk on his face.

“I think I’m gonna puke.” She muttered in the hallway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10:59PM

She took a very long shower, in fact. As she walked down the hallway, she hoped that he had left already. “hopefully I’ll get to sleep in peace tonight.” She mumbled as she carried her towel and toiletries with her. When she quietly opened the door, the lights turned were off. Except for the TV. She turned on her lamp and saw atsumu’s glistening back; he was pistoning you steadily with your legs resting on his broad shoulders. And, your hand resting on the back of his head as he did. The light squelching sounds didn’t go unnoticed. She opened her drawer forcefully and Your heart sunk deeply and you quickly pulled your blanket over him. He slowed down and leaned closer— chest to chest and rolled his hips roughly. His skin burned against yours as he did; making you breathe heavily in his neck. You shut your eyes at the sensation and caressed his glistening back. His cock was poking your spongy spot so well that you tried to roll your hips up to meet his deep thrusts. “Mn.” You bit your bottom lip and quivered, trying to keep quiet as his cock felt so good stroking your plush walls.

After she put her stuff away, She turned off her lamp and went to bed. Atsumu pulled back and the blanket fell off his broad back. Thankful for the much needed air, he slid his hands up under your legs and pushed them back and increased his pace again but steadily. You pushed your head back in the pillow. The light wet sounds of his cock thrusting inside your sobbing cunt echoed between you and him. “Unh..” he sighed. “You’re so wet for me baby.” He hissed lowly, feeling your warm arousal glazing around his cock as he pistons into your cunt, fervently. You covered your mouth as he did — not wanting to wake her up. The wet sounds were faint in her ears as he did. Except for the sounds of the bed creaking and the sheets shifting under his feet. But, it wasn’t too loud. Besides, she was watching a vlog on YouTube underneath the covers. Atsumu’s thighs smacked against the back of yours feverishly but steadily. The colorful lights from the tv shined on his glistening back. He pushed your leg down to get deeper into your sweet cunt and brought his thumb up to rub your clit. “A-agh.” You shivered, the fluttering sensations made you throb and clench around him. He hummed and did it again and you pushed your head back deeper into the pillow and breathed out heavily. The calloused pad circled your puffy clit quickly as he stroked your walls; rewarding him with a gratified sigh from your trembling lips. The tingling sensation felt so good that you started humping against it, feverishly. “Yeah..that’s it baby.” He whispered, feeling you squeezing his cock as he fondled it. He grinned at your glistening face illuminating from the tv in the background. Your face became contorted by his ministrations that you immediately started twitching from the fierce sensation mixed with your shakened pants. “A-agh!” You gasped lowly, quivering as you cummed beneath him.

Your heavy pants rang in his ears as he waited for you to cool down. Your chest heaved heavily. You pussy was still throbbing, desperately. You whined lowly when he slept pushed his cock into you to feel a few more of your after shocks squeezing him. He leaned down and kissed your forehead. “Ya okay, babe?” He muttered. You nodded and he hummed before he wrapped his lips around yours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your roommate was long asleep. Her phone was forgotten as the next video(s) played next to her. Your low pants were music to his ears as you rode his thick cock. His toes clenched at the relentless squeezes from your sobbing cunt; rewarding you with a low gutteral moan. His fingers digged into your sides while he was getting rocked by you. He looked up at you a faint smile on his face; admiring your blissful face as you took him so well. “Bounce on it baby.” He encouraged you in a whisper. You lifted your hips and sank on his cock. “Yeah…like that.” He pushed his feet in and thrusted into your core whenever you sat on it — bouncing lovingly on his glistening cock. Your head fell back at the sensation of his tip rubbing your spongy spot. “That’s it, baby.” He slid his hand up to your breasts and kneaded them. “Mmm.” You stammered when he started bucking his hips roughly into your core while he kneaded your globes. The steady sounds of wet skin slapping sounds echoed between you two. He watched his cock entering your sobbing cunt as he did. “Goddamn…” he grit his teeth, heeding the thick sloppy sounds of his length smothered by your warm arousal. It was music to his ears.

He slid his hand down to your hip. The other resting on your back — coaxing you to come closer to him. “U-unh!” You hiccuped when he started thrusting quickly into your core. His thighs were slamming against yours, quickly but with good control. “Mmmm.” He moaned, grinning at the sensations while the passionate sloppy sounds echoed through his ears. Your breaths quivered in his face as he did. “Right there…” he wrapped an arm around you to anchor you and the other grabbing your ass. He kissed you deeply. Stealing your moans as he pistons into you. “U-ugh.” You broke the kiss. “right there…right there, baby.” He whispered, holding you tightly. He feels it. You’re getting closer to your release as your stomach coiled. He whispers sweet nothing as he thrusts deeply into your core. “U-Unh.” his mouth starts slowly opening wide from vice grip of your walls pulsating. “Mm!” He bit his bottom lip, grabbing your ass cheek roughly as he thrusts faster. “Ugh!” He groaned lowly, digging his toes in the bed. “Mmmmm.” He moaned, feeling your ass slamming against his thighs. His drops his hands on either side of his head as he slams into your sweet pussy.

After a while, you started quivering. He gave a throaty chuckle as he watched you; feeling your walls crumbling more than ever. You’re very close to falling apart. He quickly grabbed the back of yours thighs and you spread yours legs further apart as he fucks you to oblivion. The bed creaked loudly and that’s when her eyebrows twitched. “Ts-Tsum!” You whispered loudly, trembling in his hold.

You don’t want to wake her up and not get caught by the Dean. Especially at this time. Soon after, your loud gasps escapes your quivering lips; forcing her eyes to open. he stopped and gave a throaty chuckle while you were squirting on him. He dropped his legs and laid still. his cock was twitching as it shoots his cum inside you. He gave a guttural moan at your relentless squeezes as he did and circled his hips for more of that sweet warmth to cool off. “I love you so much, baby.” He growled lowly, smirking as he pulled you close by the back of your head and kissed you deeply. You moaned at his unwavering love for you while the deep lip smacking sounds echoed in the room. She wanted to throw a show at him as he made love to you. He didn’t give fuck if your best friend heard everything. He smacked your ass loudly to make sure she did as a “final say” while he kissed you deeply.

She checked the time and took a deep breath and forced herself back into slumber.

Tch. It’s fucking 1:30AM.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9:15AM

The sounds of shuffling picked her ears up. She opened her eyes from underneath the blanket and it was bright in the room. You opened the curtains to let some light in the room. She heard you mumbling about requesting a taxi to get him to the airport as you helped him get his stuff sorted in his duffle bag. “Do you have everything?” You sounded sleepy as you watched him packing the clothes he wore yesterday in his bag. “Mhmm.” He nodded and hooked it over his shoulder. “Okay…let’s go.” You whispered drowsily and held his hand and walked out the room with him. As soon the door closed, she pushed the blanket away from her body with a kick and sighed.

Finally! The bastard is out of the room! She huffed as she stared up at the ceiling. “Thank GOD.” She covered her eyes with the back of her hand.

The school ground was empty as you walked Atsumu down to the campus’s main entrance gate. You both saw the taxi waiting for him at the front of the building. Before he opened the door, he gave a kiss on yours lips. “I’m gonna miss ya’” he slurred, looking sleepy as he pouted. You whined and wrapped your arms around his neck. The fact that he’s leaving you alone again makes you sad. But, he’ll be away for a week and then he’ll be back. You puckered your lips and he leaned down to give you another kiss. He chuckled at how sleepy you look. It’s cute. “I love you.” He smiled softly and caressed your ass. “I love you too.” You hummed softly. He grabbed your ass playfully and gave you another one last kiss and he hugged you, tightly. “Be safe.” You mumbled. He hummed. “I’ll call ya when once we land.” He turned to open the door and got inside the car. You waved at each other as the driver leaves the premises and he was gone.

You walked back into your room, took a pill and sat in your bed with a sad look on your face. “So? How was the fuck? Good? ” she blurted out. senselessly. “What?” You blinked, trying to register what she just asked you. “I bet you slept real good, y/n.” She stared daggers at you. You blushed. “I wasn’t loud-“ “GIRL, I heard…everythingggg.” She emphasized with her fingers. “No, I swear we just cuddled.” You told her but she wasn’t buying it. “He fucked you so good that you can’t even remember what happened?” You giggled at the fact. And she nodded playfully when she said, “Ooo baby ~ just like that ~ Awh Tsumu!” She mocked you, playfully. “Stooop~” you rolled on your bed in embarrassment , giggling at her funny tone. “Yeah ~ right there don’t stop! Unh!” You threw your pillow at her while you blushed so hard. She laughed hysterically at your reactions. “Staaahp!” You hid under the blanket and giggled. “Ooo~I’m gunna cum, baby!” She continued and threw her pillow at you. you squeaked in embarrassment; wrapping yourself in your blanket like a burrito. Wanting to be sent to the void.

Laughters and mockery filled the room so early in the morning. “You owe me for not cock-blocking you, bitch!” She got up, ran and jumped on your bed. “I can’t believe you made me third wheel!” She shook you playfully. “Ah!” You squeaked. “Okay! Okay! What do you want?!” You chuckled softly. “A boyfriend!” Suddenly, you raised your eyebrows and your eyes widened. “One that’s great in sports and is attractive and smart and…” you blinked up at her in surprise. “Tall and clingy…and…” you giggled softly as she spoke. “What?” She stopped and looked down at you, curiously.

“It a deal.” You smiled softly. You couldn’t wait to ask Atsumu for a big favor.

End.

#I had so much fun writing this! 🤭💕 #atsumu miya #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu #msby atsumu #atsumu smut #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x imagines #haikyu smut #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu x f!reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu fluff #smut #haikyuu fanfic #atsumu fluff #atsumu miya fluff #hq atsumu #atsumu x you #haikyuu atsumu

[liquorisce]

Do you have any eremika age gap au recs?? It’s my favorite trope and there’s nearly not enough fics out there😭😭😭

*rubs hands* I took my time with this because I am not the most avid fic reader unfortunately, but I do have a few recs and some more on my tbr. I think what you're looking for is not just an age difference but where the age gap is the focus? i've marked those in pink. definitely check the tags on these before proceeding!!

gonna start with mine just for completeness, and also because i love it *blush*

boy next door: For sixteen years, Mikasa has watched the boy next door. First: through the eyes of a child, hand in his during family trips, his hand on her first bike when she learned how to ride. Then: through the eyes of a teenager, peeking behind her blinds into his room on hot summer months when he didn't wear a shirt, eyes lingering on his lips when he pulled away his cigarette. Now, she is so much older, but he is older still, and the gap between them feels ever widening. But her desire to close it only feels more desperate.

i'm certain you've checked out @herblacktights 's ao3, but here are my favs of hers with that age gap sauce:

degausser: After a deadly flu pandemic that devastates Paradis Island and the rest of the world, Eren is all Mikasa has. After she turns sixteen, that gets complicated. -> the plot is entirely the age gap, lol!

comfort me: “Mikasa,” Eren drawled, fake scolding edging into his voice as he held the basement door open and led her outside. “Does Aunt Carla know what a bad girl you are?” For a moment, she looked stunned. A sliver of a second, a wink of an eye. Looking every inch the little girl he watched grow up, who he knew deserved better than him. But before it could take root in her and make him regret what he said, Mikasa gave him a terrible, sweet smile. “Aunt Carla says I deserve to do whatever I want after the year I’ve had,” she said and from the way that she was looking at him, he should’ve known it was a threat. cw: mild daddy kink!

love dog : this one is a bit different! teacher mikasa x student eren, and mikasa is the older one. cw: it doesn't exactly have a super happy ending. but it is one of my favs from hannah!!

Butterfly effect by @sunlightandsuffering : Sugar baby AU - older hobo eren x younger mikasa. how can i say this... it's the OG, the most delicious, lys-brand chaotic eremika but age gap flavour! i love it, i'm sure if you've been around this block you've read it lol, but it's simply amazing, read it again!!

You, me and our sins by @loneghostss : Eren is married and Mikasa has a boyfriend. But the fact that they both have someone doesn't stop them from sinfully falling in love with each other. (it is about eremika having an affair with each other and it is so sensual and hot, age gap is not central here but it definitely brings heat!!) you could also check out lost saints by the same author, there's also some age difference and great smut.

@dead-dolphins is a connoisseur of the age gap trope, defs check out all the aus on her pinned post!! ro is a master of drama and worldbuilding so her fics are always a treat. she's got some on ao3 that are all about that sweet age gap <3

chemical hype boy : idol mikasa x actor eren!! and eren is definitely playing into the older established actor mold!

i apologise if you feel something: Goth mikasa gets involved with older Eren, lead vocalist of a metal band.

the promised princess: a medieval fantasy au inspired by got. age difference is not the central theme, but it's a stellar fic regardless.

straight/edge by @sinigangsta-ao3: Mikasa Ackerman is prim, proper, and perfect. As the golden child of the Ackerman family, her academic achievements set her up for a bright future and atone for her older brother’s past mistakes. When the spring semester of her junior year arrives, she crosses paths with a local boy toward whom she’d typically never give the time of day — and they begin a whirlwind relationship that unlocks parts of herself that she didn’t know she kept hidden. this fic is more about the good girl x bad boy trope but with that delicious 3-4 year age gap sauce!! cw: NOT a hea

devilish lovers by softwinter: “I wanna be your friend, Mikasa,” he told her one day when she got home from school not able to feign a less distressed expression on her face, too many sixteen-year-old problems going on in her life. He had the habit of commenting that she was always sad, that he didn’t like how that transpired on her gray eyes.

“I thought you wanted to be my daddy,” something flashed in his eyes right then, like she’d said something forbidden, a kind of thing that could make her a bad girl in his eyes. cw: step dad kink!! definitely check the tags before proceeding.

heaven knows by @joannaofarkham: priest au where priest eren is mikasa's teacher in a catholic school. it is unfinished but the first chapter reads pretty well standalone!

eternally yours by @cxcassii: reincarnation au + age gap. It's been 2,000 years since Eren Jaeger was a titan shifter and unleashed the blood drenched madness of the rumbling upon the world. Now, in the year 2023, he's a twenty-four year old who lives with his best friend Armin. He goes about his days working as a pharmacy technician all while attempting to cope and come to terms with the loss of the loved ones he still remembers with clarity from his previous life. The atrocious sins of his past life he can never ever truly atone for. But most of all, there's one person he simply can't forget: His former love of his life, Mikasa. It's when he's not actively searching for her that they cross paths once again, and their love will once again be on trial when Eren learns that Mikasa not only doesn't remember their past life together, but is also seventeen years old. this one is still on my tbr but whatever i've read so far looks extremely delicious!!!

enjoy!! if anyone wants to add more please feel free to reblog and improve this list!! <3

#eremika #fanfic rec #age gap trope

[trans-buckleyy]

There’s a particular emotional honesty and maturity in Buck in this coming out storyline that is actually really interesting.

Because on the surface, he’s just rushing into a relationship, the same way he always does, and it’s like not much has changed…

But when you actually look at what he’s saying, how he’s saying it, and to whom, he’s not just wearing his heart on his sleeve in terms of his ACTIONS, but also his words.

He stumbles a bit on the date, but otherwise, we see him in the loft trying to explain to Tommy feelings that he doesn’t even 100% understand himself yet, because he doesn’t want to leave him in the dark… We see him go IMMEDIATELY to Maddie to try to process his guilt and uncertainty about lying to Eddie about the date… We see him open up honestly to Eddie about the fact that he can’t stop thinking about Tommy, even after he ‘ruined’ the date… And we see him put it on the line to call Tommy… Not to hook up, but to explain, and to hear Tommy out too. He doesn’t try to hide his hesitancy from Tommy, he lays it out as “Look, I don’t know what this is, and I don’t 100% know how I feel, but I like being with you, and I’d like to see where this goes.”

We’ve seen Buck be self-reflective before. But in his romantic relationships, we much more see him rushing in with actions and gestures, rather than sitting down and analysing and discussing his feelings.

That's totally how I saw it, is he rushing? Maybe a bit, we don't actually know for sure how long him and Tommy have known each other or what the amount of time between their coffee date/meet-up and the wedding is, but Buck (and let's be real pretty much all of the other characters) has a tendency to commit hard and fast, especially romantically. But he's already been more vulnerable with Tommy than we've ever seen him be with his LIs, and Tommy's facilitated that communication by also being open and vulnerable with Buck. They're both taking a chance and telling each other that they're willing to work for it at the same time as respecting each other's boundaries. Hopefully we get to see Buck come into his own more as the relationship progresses. It's something new and hopefully it'll be explored well over the coming eps (and potentially *fingers crossed* next season?).

#bucktommy #evan buckley #asks #not anon #im doing this instead of my German coursework ngl

[dariwrites03]

Fucked up Monday. 2/3

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/daribertduck/748615753776955392/fucked-up-monday

A/n: Before you guys kill me; I’m already writing part 3. don’t you worry it’s coming your way. Please comment & repost, it’s giving me much motivation!

Summary: After Ellie kissed you on Patrol, everything was turning weird, you’re full of guilt and other feelings... What happens when your life turns from agonizing to better to so much worse? And why exactly can a few letters change everything?

Warnings: none? I think?

Taglist: @bready101 @lia-winther @liciapeonia @darkerstarsstuff @patricks-fabulous-face ( I tagged some people from my comments, hope that’s alright)

-5700k words

„And I thought I was weird for feeling uncomfortable at that, you know? They broke up, it's not really his place to say anything like that especially after telling Dina he's over her anyways" You're best friend said, finishing up her explanation of yesterdays event with Dina and Jesse. He found the two of them smoking near a warehouse and from what you made out of Ellie's explanation, he wasn't too happy to see them sitting so close.

You and Ellie were having another movie night, those happen pretty often. ( Every Wednesday, to be exact.) sitting on the old sofa in your living room with you're legs resting on hers. „Well, it's still fresh. Don't think he's jealous of the two of you spending lots of time together but maybe it's just a weird feeling seeing her with someone else, though there's absolutely nothing between you and Dina" you replied, chuckling at the thought of Jesse being all jealous over nothing. You rested your head back against the many sofa pillows, enjoying the comfy half sitting half laying position you're in. „Yeah.. totally" Ellie mumbled, looking down at her hands resting on top of you ankles, shifting uncomfortably. Knowing Ellie probably better than anyone else, you knew right away that something seems off.

„Wait.." you said,  sensing the weird vibe from you're best friend. „There is nothing between you two, right?" you said, lifting you're upper body into a more sitting posture. „Ellie?" you said her name as you're so called friend didn't answer right away. You felt you're heart stink, not really being sure of what's going on exactly. „uhm.. I don't wanna talk about it?" she said, looking at you with an apologetic look, making it sound more like a question than an real steady answer. „Hell no, remember our ‚no lying rule'?" you said. „Cmon we made that rule as we were 15, that's childish." she said while caressing through her hair, suddenly looking all exhausted. „It wasn't childish when I had my first kiss and didn't want to talk about it" You mentioned. Remembering the night you ran about 2 miles to Ellie's house after spending the afternoon with some other kids in the pub, playing some stupid games. After you kissed Sophia as you're truth or dare quest you took of running, straight into the arms of the brown haired girl who couldn't participate that nights event due to a cold. Ellie knew something must've happened and as you really didn't want to talk about it, embarrassed by the fact that everyone could probably tell you never kissed anyone ever before, Ellie set up a rule. *„Let's promise to always be honest, life is too fucked up to screw it up with lies"* you knew she was right and since that night you tried to always be honest to each other.

„Cmon that's totally different!" Ellie defended herself, crossing her arms above her chest. „Jesus, Williams, answer the fucking question and stop being difficult" you said with a light voice, feeling like Ellie was some deer that takes of running as soon as you're tone was slightly off. „I mean, there is nothing between me and Dina.. so" she explained and you could tell that She was satisfied with her answer since her shoulders became less tense. „But you wish there was?" you asked, not able to look at Ellie you decided to give you're hands something to do, grabbing the soda can you had standing infront of you at the table. „I.. yeah, I guess? Okay. Who am I kidding" she said, her hands running over her face. She revealed a slight laugh. „Oh god" she groaned, now fully blushing like a 13 year old teenager. „Yeah, yeah I do like her. Fuck, this is the first time admitting it out loud" she said.

You took a sip from you're soda, the carbonic acid being long gone since you opened the can almost 2 hours ago, giving you a second or two to continue to stay silent. Having the opportunity to ignore the trouble of you're mind right now

The Jealousy building up inside of you made you think like you're going all crazy, fighting against the urge to scream inside a pillow you took that energy elsewhere. „okay, good for you" you said, taking another sip from the drink, hoping to put out the fire building up in you're chest. Ellie looked at you saying „it's not weird, right? Falling for her?" you looked at her again, considering of telling her what you really think. You consider of telling her that's it's not weird, but you don't like it either. No , you hate it. You hate it so much because you want Ellie to fall for you instead of her.

But you didn't say that. Instead you betrayed your 15 year old self by lying to Ellie and yourself. 

It's been three months, 4 days and 2,5 Hours without a word from her. 

 Ever since then , You are entangled in the delicate web of grief for what felt like for two people, where the threads of loss and longing weave intricate patterns within your heart. Two souls, distinct yet equally significant, find their place in the chambers of your being.

Dylan, now resting six feet under, has embarked on a journey beyond the veil. His earthly vessel lies cradled by the soil, while his essence pirouettes among the constellations. The wasteland of the unknown stretches before him—And then there's your best friend, a constellation of memories and shared secrets. But her presence has become elusive, slipping through your fingers like sand. She chooses silence—a withdrawal that echoes louder than any spoken words. And you tried. Oh, how you tried to get her to speak—the silent symphony of longing, the unspoken words that hung in the air like dew-kissed spider silk. Your gaze, a language of its own, whispered secrets that transcended mere sentences. But she? She met your offerings with silence—a void that echoed louder than any spoken syllable. She stopped coming over. The threshold of your space became a chasm, a bridge severed by unspoken truths. The door, once a portal to laughter and whispered confidences, now stood closed. The only ever time you got to see her, to give yourself the inner peace of her being okay, was on the weekly parol meetings. She attended, her presence a fragile thread connecting you both. But she mastered the art of departure—slipping away before your eyes could catch hers. The opposite direction became her refuge, a path untrodden by your footsteps.

Talking wasn't what Ellie needed. You sensed it, that unspoken ache in the air—the need for silence, for space. So you stepped back, honoring the boundaries she drew around her heart. But your longing couldnt be unoticed by you any longer so after three weeks, you started writing to her. Youre desperation spilled over, ink bleeding onto paper.  You became a clandestine messenger, slipping perfumed notes into the small slit of her mailbox. Each letter carried a piece of your soul—a plea, a confession, a desperate whisper.  It lingered on your fingertips, a bridge between worlds. And as you pressed those letters into the darkness, you imagined her fingers brushing against them. Would she feel the urgency? Would she hear your silent screams for her friendship?  Handwritten letters—those delicate vessels of ink and paper—weave memories that transcend mere words. Each stroke of the pen, each carefully crafted sentence, carries a piece of the you in them. The intimacy lies not only in the content but also in the act of creation itself. You decided to write her if shes unable to talk, you wanted to give her the space she needed, you tried to be as understanding as you could. But one unanswered letter turned into two, three, four. You stopped putting them into her mailbox after five. 

Now, you're trying to ignore the pain in your heart every time you wake up. Ellie's childish behavior hasn't stopped you from living your life. Instead, you channel your anger and sleepless nights into your work, making each patrol count. Working alongside Jesse has become a bright spot—a fun experience you eagerly anticipate. It's not the same as those moments outside the gates with Ellie, but it's different in a way that doesn't breed resentment.

You and Jesse share a closeness that predates his separation from Dina. The heartbreak they both faced has left its mark, and you find solace in each other's company. Jesse isn't thrilled about the situation either—the breakup and lingering jealousy still gnaw at him. On that second day of patrol together, he broaches the awkward topic between you and Ellie. "So, you gonna tell me what happened or not?" Jesse's voice cut through the quiet of the abandoned checkpoint. He pulled a sandwich from his backpack, the crinkling of the wrapper echoing in the dim light. The two of you sat there, weary from the day's patrol, the weight of your assigned route still clinging to your bones. Nightfall had descended too swiftly, and the dangers of this post-apocalyptic world made it impossible to venture home safely after dark. You shifted uncomfortably on the hard ground, the rough edges of the old checkpoint digging into your back. The makeshift campsite was a stark reminder of the life you now led—constantly on the move, always vigilant. Jesse's eyes bore into yours, waiting for an answer.

"Don't really know what's there to say, to be honest," you replied, your fingers tracing the edges of the food you'd prepared hours ago. The silence now haning between the two of you wasnt uncomftable,punctuated by the distant howl of a lone infected.  "Maybe explain why we're now patrol partners? I thought you and Ellie made such a good team. Not that I'm complaining, though—we're badass too. Just wondering why you suddenly decided that Ellie wasn't good enough anymore," Jesse's voice cut through the dimly lit space of the makeshift camp. He lay down on the sleeping bag, using his right arm as a makeshift pillow, his gaze fixed on you. The flicker of confusion danced through the forest of your mind as you replayed Jesse's last words.

"What? I didn't decide that," you replied, studying your friend's posture as he took a bite of his cheese sandwich. "I asked Dina what happened earlier today." Jesse mumbled, his mouth still half full. "Ellie told her it was you who decided to change partners. Don't get me wrong—I feel honored to be your new partner in crime. I was just curious about what happened." - ''the fuck?'' You said more to yourself than him. ''Thats so fucked up..'' -"Okay, c'mon, I need the drama. Please explain to me like everything. Consider me one of your gossip girls," Jesse quipped, his unseriousness bringing a smile to your face. You took another bite of your food, savoring the dry bread as you gathered your thoughts. Trusting Jesse, you decided it wasn't a bad idea to share what had transpired between you and Ellie. So, with a deep breath, you began recounting the events of your last patrol with her. Jesse leans in, eyes wide with curiosity. His sandwich forgotten, he hangs on every word as you recount the events of that fateful patrol with Ellie. The tension, the unspoken words, the ache in your chest—it all spills out, painting a vivid picture of the fractured bond between you and the girl who once felt like your world.

"Damn," Jesse mutters, running a hand through his hair. "That's heavy stuff." His gaze lingers on your face, searching for answers. "You think she'll come around?'' You shrug, the weight of uncertainty settling on your shoulders. ''Dont think so, I think she regrets even kissing me. She has dina now, dont think that she'll need me anymore.'' Your gaze drifts down to your wrist, where the matching bracelet still clings—a fragile thread connecting you to Ellie. You wonder if she wears hers. Jesse, now leading forward, nudges your shoulder playfully. "Well, partner," he says, "we'll keep kicking ass out here. Fuck them both".

After that night, you felt like Jesse and you were attached at the hip. Somehow, you both helped each other navigate the jagged terrain of heartbreak, spending time together and letting the hours slip away. Being friends with Jesse had its perks. He acted as a bridge to Ellie, still maintaining a sort of friendship with Dina, getting slim updates from her. Through Jesse, you received updates about Ellie—whether she was safe, whether she'd eaten enough.

But it wasn't the same. Those impersonal updates couldn't replace the warmth of setting eyes on Ellie, hearing her voice—the cadence of her laughter, the way she'd say your name. You missed the little things, the mundane details that had once woven your lives together. But over the time you started to accept the turn of events, knowing you cannot force Friendship on somebody.

You started to distract yourself outside of work, whether it was with Jesse or... Sophia. After that encounter where Maria broke the news to you about Ellie changing everything, you did the only thing you knew you were really good at: You ran off.

Weirdly enough, two weeks after that pivotal moment and your  patrols with Jesse as your new partner, a knock on your door interrupted your vegetable-cutting session in the small kitchen. As you walked toward the door, a million possibilities raced through your mind. Was it Ellie, knocking on the wood on a late rainy afternoon? Or perhaps Jesse, wanting to talk? Dina? Or maybe Joel, coming all the way to the comfort of your four walls to deliver news about his beloved Ellie being hurt.

Secretly, you wished it was Ellie. So you ran a hand through your hair, glancing into the small mirror hanging near the door to check yourself out before opening the squeaky wood.  But on the other side stood Sophia, holding a plate covered in aluminum foil.  "Uhm... hey," she said, her cheeks flushed with red. "I've made some cake—way too much to eat all by myself. I wanted to share it. If, um, you want to, of course. It's chocolate cake." Her words tumbled out in a rush, and you sensed her nervousness. A Small smile spread across your face as you stepped aside, making space for her to enter the house. "That's too kind," you replied. "You've got impeccable timing. I just finished dinner—perfect time for dessert. Come inside." You didn't mention the comforting fact that her house was all the way across town, meaning she'd walked quite a distance just to bring you cake. Nor did you acknowledge that it was common knowledge that Sophia is allergic to Chocolate but it was your favorite.

One hour with Sophia turned into two, and before you knew it, the entire afternoon was filled with your laughter. She ended up staying over, making your house feel less empty. Since Dylan's passing, sleep had eluded you. Without Ellie by your side, it felt impossible to quiet your mind. Sophia changed that somewhat, but it didn't feel the same. Perhaps your own mind betrayed you, clouding your thoughts about her presence. You didn't want her to leave, yet you didn't necessarily want her to stay either. The universe seemed to decide for you, as the strawberry-blonde girl drifted off to sleep on your sofa after what felt like an eternity of talking.

You settled into your gray armchair, gently covering her thin body with your favorite blanket—the same one Ellie used to take whenever she stayed over. The entire night, you found yourself comparing Sophia to Ellie—the way she moved, the cadence of her voice, the sparkle in her eyes when she spoke about her interests. It wasn't a good thing, you must admit. Sophia is a nice girl, but you never really considered her a potential friend, especially since you both shared your first kisses with each other. After that, things got weird, and you both grew up, walking different paths.

Yet now, here she was—baking you cakes, making you laugh, and filling the void left by Ellie. The universe had a funny way of intertwining lives, even when hearts were tangled in memories and unanswered letters. Having someone else in Ellie's place is like trying to fit a puzzle piece into a space that was uniquely shaped for her. It's both comforting and disorienting—a blend of familiarity and foreignness. Her presence brings warmth, but it's a different kind—the soft glow of candlelight instead of the blazing fire that Ellie ignited.Sophia's touch is gentle, her fingers tracing patterns on your skin. But it lacks the electric charge—the pulse of longing—that Ellie's touch carried. You wonder if Sophia noticed the way you hesitated, the way your heart stumbles when she leans in too close.

The day with Sophia didnt end there, it  stretched into a comfortable rhythm, covering the next two days of your life —a dance of shared meals, laughter, and quiet moments. Her presence filled the spaces that Ellie had once occupied, and you found yourself not minding it at all. The awkwardness of those initial conversations melted away as you both peeled back layers, revealing stories and dreams that wove your lives together.

But life has a way of interrupting even the most harmonious melodies. Jesse, with his uninvited pizza and the entire Twilight saga in tow, barged into your living room. You tried to politely decline the teen romance marathon—you'd seen it one too many times—but Jesse, being Jesse, brushed off your protests. His eyes widened when he saw Sophia sitting there, a teasing grin tugging at his lips. You knew he'd milk this moment, teasing you about having a cute girl over at your house.

After Jesse left, well, pratically run out, you settled back onto the sofa next to Sophia. "That was... Jesse, right?" she asked, her fingers playing with her curly hair. You leaned against the soft material of the sofa, nodding. "Uhm, yup." Sophia's gaze lingered on you, and you sensed her curiosity. "You two do spend a lot of time together—even after patrols," she observed."Oh? You noticed that? Stalking me, huh?" you teased, making Sophia blush. Her cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink. "Well," she replied, her voice soft, "you just always catch my eye." And then, without warning, her body shifted closer. Her hands found their place on either side of your waist, and her lips met yours—a sweetness that tasted like possibility. You hated yourself for it, truly. Because here was a girl with good intentions, almost on top of you, and your mind couldn't help but wish it was Ellie.

Another two months slip through your fingers, ephemeral as morning mist. Life, once heavy with the ache of Ellie's absence, begins to lift itself up.  Sophia becomes a constant presence—a sunbeam that warms the corners of your heart as you allow yourself. Your growing relationship with Sophia blossoms, and you find comfort in her laughter, her touch, and the shared moments that weave your lives together. The unspoken question lingers: Are you allowed to call her your girlfriend? After all, you've shared more than just cake and conversations. Perhaps labels matter less than the way she looks at you, the way her fingers intertwine with yours.

And then there's Jesse—the steadfast friend who bridges the gap between patrols and pizza nights. His teasing about Sophia doesn't go unnoticed, but he's also the one who brings laughter into your home. Everything else remains unchanged—the memories, the unanswered letters, and the quiet longing. Life moves forward, and you find solace in the delicate balance of old and new. Patrol was as good as it could be, once you and Jesse found a way to connect your abilities, it didnt really feel like work anymore. 

"Yo, little one," Jesse's voice cut through the quiet of the stables, interrupting your grooming session with Lacy. You turned to meet his gaze, immediately noticing his patrol clothes—fitting perfectly against his frame. "What the hell are you doing? We have the day off, remember?" you asked, your fingers still caressing Lacy's mane.

"Not anymore," Jesse replied, already opening the door to his horse's stable. "Dina apparently has the flu, and they both forgot to sign in at the station outside. Maria asked me to take their route for today and look for anything weird." He led his dark brown horse out of the stable, determination etched on his face.

"Good luck with that," you said, turning back to continue your work. But Jesse wasn't done. "Nuh huh, lover girl. You're joining me," he declared, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Pardon?" You looked at him, confusion knitting your brows. "Don't hit me with Spanish,"- ''Its french'' Jesse chuckled. "well whatever it was,I don't speak it. Come on now, get ready. We don't have all day." He saddled his horse efficiently, his movements practiced. "Why should I? You said yes, not me," you replied stubbornly, even though you gathered all the essentials needed to prepare Lacy. "Well, because I'm your partner in crime? Your work husband? Love of your patrol life?" Jesse grinned, his eyes dancing with mischief. "And because I'll get bored alone. You don't have anything better to do anyway." - ''Rude?! maybe i had things planned?!'' You said, jokingly offended as you grab your stuff  ''You can meet sophia  and have all of those important 'converstations'' he made weird kissing noises ''later.'' He finished his sentance, making you laugh ''Well first of all I-'' You got interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. You looked into the direction of the noise and saw the last person you wanted to see today. ''Sup, Ellie.'' Jesse said, leaning against the stable door. ''what can I do for you?'' He asked, eyes stuck on ellie. But her gaze lied elsewhere; On you.

You shivered under her gaze, your heart racing. As you looked into Ellie's eyes—the first time in forever—you sensed something there, something you couldn't quite put into words. Her burning gaze finally shifted from you to Jesse, arms crossed at her chest.

"Earlier, when me and Dina were at the station, I lost my journal," Ellie said, her voice close, intimate. "Can you look for it? Kinda really need it back." Her words echoed through the stable, and suddenly, the air felt too thin. Your knees wobbled, memories of Ellie cascading down the memory bridge, crashing into your stomach. You felt like you might throw up. "Sure, we will look for it. Anything else?" Jesse asked, glancing between the two of you. Ellie's eyes traveled back to you, and silent hope bloomed in your chest. Maybe this was the moment—maybe Ellie would finally have the guts to talk to you directly, to say she's sorry. But as her gaze wavered, you felt the familiar pang of disappointment. Once again, Ellie remained silent.You felt a strong hand on your shoulder, silently offering support. Jesse's familiar scent enveloped you. "Thought so," he said, ending the conversation. Ellie nodded and turned away, leaving the two of you alone. The barn was filled with silence until you spoke with a shaky voice. "Okay, let's just go." And so you did—you and Jesse left for patrol. But with every passing second, the memory of that confrontation lingered, and you realized how much you still craved her.

"Jesus, I hate this path," Jesse grumbled, pushing open the old, creaky door to the station. His face turned red from the effort, and you couldn't help but giggle. "Stop crying like a baby. Let's sign in and leave," you said, walking toward the desk on the opposite side of the room. As you approached, you noticed that a pen was missing. Without it, you obviously couldn't sign in.

"Jesse, there's no pen," you called out, looking at your friend. "Really? Look under the table or something. We'll find one," he replied. You followed his suggestion, getting down on your knees. Spiderwebs greeted you, along with the encroaching dusk. You pulled out your flashlight, shining it underneath the table for a better look. And there it was—an old, leather-covered book. You'd recognize that book spine anywhere, even in the grandest libraries.

You picked it up, wiping away the dust that clung to its material. The thickness of the journal reminded you of what you were holding—a door to Ellie Williams' secrets and mindful thoughts. "Found one!" Jesse's voice snapped you out of your reverie. You turned around, hiding the journal behind your back. Jesse joined you, writing your names on the slim paper of the checklist. ‘Partner in crimes ( Jesse and y/n)’

"Did you find anything? The book, I mean. It's not somewhere I looked," Jesse asked. You shook your head, slipping the journal into your bag without it being noticed. "Nope, didn't find it either."

''Every poem I ever wrote was about her. That smile of hers, those golden eyes—whenever she's too close to the sun, it's impossible for me to stay away. The day I left, my heart shattered into a million pieces. In my head, inside my perfect self-made world, she never left me. All my thoughts revolve around her—the memories etched into my mind. Her touch, so soft—I never wanted to let go. The scent of her clothes, stealing my breath away. The nights we spent dreaming together, the minutes I never want to regret. I never dared to imagine a lifetime without her. Yet here I am, writing these words with a hole in my chest. I'm bleeding out, the wind kissing my mind, refreshing memories of letting go. The silence surrounds me, a reminder to hold on.

I search the past for redemption, but it eludes me. The only thing left of me are broken pieces of her.”

The words were carefully etched onto the paper, making it hard for you to breathe. You hadn't intended to overstep her privacy—why had you taken that journal in the first place? You dont know.  But here you were, sitting with the book in hand, the only light in the living room emanating from the countless candles you'd lit.

The journal looked thicker than usual, and that's what caught your attention first. You knew that book well, even though you'd never seen what she put inside—except for her drawings of animals, Joel, Dina, and you. She'd never shown anyone what she wrote between the pages.

The reason you'd decided to open the book, against all your inner morals, was the fact that as you carefully pulled it out of your bag—treating it like fragile glass—multiple letters fell out. You noticed them right away. They were yours—carefully written letters she'd never dared to answer. The envelopes ripped open showed you she defenetly read them all. You dont know how to feel about that yet. Relieved that she cared enough to read them? Happy becasue she carried your letters with her, doesnt matter where shed go? Or mad, because she never replied? You know nothing. The only thing you're able to do now is bury yourself in the book, reading what Ellie never dared to say out loud.

''Ive been having a hard time adjusting, I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting. I didn't know if you'd care if I came back, I have a lot of regrets about that. Pulled the car off the road to the lookout, Could've followed my fears all the way down. And maybe I don't quite know what to say but I'm here in your doorway. I just wanted you to know that this is me trying'' 

The words cut deeper than a knife,

before you knew it, your eyes traveled to the next phrases, crossed out, you could barely read them:

"It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you.

Seeing you with Sophie burns me from inside out.

Why are you with her?

I know I don't own you, perhaps I never will,

so the anger inside of me when I see you with her

is something I'm not allowed to feel.

What I feel, I shouldn't show you.

So when you're around, I don't.

I let you walk away with her.

I know I don't have the right to feel it,

but it doesn't mean I don't."

The rest of the book was empty, besides some skteches of eyes that look dangerously like yours. You swallowed hard, not really sure of what you should feel. You re-read the sentences out loud, letting the bittersweet aftertaste of them making you feel alive. Your heart has been Ellies since the first time you both laughed together; yet you were so sure of the fact that she would never feel the same. Considering the words in the journal, maybe it wasnt one sided after all. Youre confused, being with Sophia was easy, comftable. But with ellie, it was different. better. You miss the butterflies in your stomach, miss her touch and her closeness. The rollercoster was everything you ever had, after all.

Two days of full selfishness carried its weight, and you continued to keep the journal. The guilt crept in, stealthy as shadows, finding you at night, when the world slept and your thoughts roamed free. Those written pages from Ellie, inked with longing and crossed-out confessions, haunted your mind. You tried your best to hide the pain, a fragile masquerade. Distancing yourself from Sophia and Jesse, you walked the tightrope of deception. It wasn't deliberate; it was survival. The what-could've-been danced like a ghost, whispering secrets in your ear. You wondered if Ellie's heart echoed the same unspoken words.

Sophia, her presence a comforting harbor, yet her touch felt like borrowed warmth. And Jesse, his eyes— The guilt gnawed at you, a relentless hunger. You held Sophia too close, fearing Ellie's phantom gaze. You looked into Jesse's eyes, and the lie about keeping the Journal tasted bitter on your tongue.  Ellie, elusive as a wisp of smoke. The barn encounter—the air thick with unspoken truths—left you breathless. You havent seen her since. You called in sick for the patrol meeting, a desperate escape from the inevitable. The fear of facing her again, of unraveling the fragile equilibrium, gripped your heart.

In the quiet of your room, the journal lay open. The crossed-out phrases, the sketches of eyes—they were your silent companions.

——————————————————-

"Okay, Miss being all sad and distant, I'm not having this anymore. Tell me what's going on right now or I'm killing you," Jesse declared, pressing past you as you opened the door. His urgency hung in the air, a storm brewing behind his eyes.

"Jesus, very aggressive today, aren't we?" you quipped, trailing after your friend into the living room. The door closed behind you, sealing you both in a cocoon of tension. You sank into the couch, and Jesse settled next to you, his gaze drilling holes into your soul."Therapy session. Now. What's going on?" His hands clasped together, a makeshift gavel. The room felt smaller, suffocating. You glanced at the coffee table, considering the whiskey bottle, but thought better of it. "Nothing? Do you want to drink anything... or?" Your voice played innocent, a fragile mask. Jesse wasn't fooled. "The jury says stop trying to change the subject." His tone held a mix of exasperation and concern."The jury...?" You grinned, despite the weight in your chest. "Yeah, me." Jesse's eyes softened, and you chuckled. "It's nothing, really.“

"You're completely distant," he said, his voice calm. "Even Sophia asked me if I have any idea what's going on." The truth hung between you like a fragile thread, ready to snap.

"I don't know... it's, urgh, weird." You fidgeted with the edge of a cushion. Jesse leaned closer, his breath warm against your cheek. "Tell me!" His insistence bordered on desperation

"Okay, but promise me not to hate me?" You gave him a side-eye, afraid of meeting his gaze head-on. "Could never hate you," he replied, and the words carried weight. So you spilled it—the secret you'd harbored, the journal you'd found.

Ellie's words, inked and crossed out, danced in your memory. You didn't reveal the exact phrasing, but you shared the confusion—the way her emotions bled through the pages. Jesse listened, his eyes wide, and you wondered if he saw the echoes of your own heartache.

In that quiet room, the truth hung heavy. You'd kept Ellie's words hidden, but now they spilled forth. Jesse's hand found yours, and you clung to it, hoping for absolution. "It's Ellie," you whispered. "It's always been Ellie."  His silence spoke volumes, eyes carrying the weight of unspoken understanding. He'd always sensed your feelings for Ellie, perhaps even before you did. It wasn't a secret to anyone but her—the way your heart gravitated toward her, like a moth drawn to a flame. “You guys need to talk.” Jesse said.

"I can't," you whispered, the words fragile on your tongue. The weight of unspoken truths pressed against your chest, threatening to spill forth."And why the fuck not? What do you have to lose?" Jesse's voice held a mix of frustration and concern. He saw through your defenses, stripped away the layers you'd carefully woven. Ellie—the enigma, the ache—loomed between you like a shadow."Afraid of losing her? I think you already archived that." His bluntness cut through your heart. You knew it too well—the missed chances, the crossed-out phrases, the silence that echoed louder than words. Jesse could see the pain in you and the bluntless paired with that slight tinge of what appeared to be anger slowly disappeared into thin air, much like the smoke of a lit cigarette blown into the night sky.

"Look" he begins, sighing while he considers the phrasing of this. He means no harm, but being too gentle could erase the importance of the situation "I want to help you, but you cannot hide yourself away. If you truly want this girl, you need to be able to put in the effort. Dina and Ellie arent dating either, dina told me herself that the two of them thought there was something but ended up with nothing. Be honest with yourself, but also with everyone else" You exhale deeply, relief floods your system despite the heavy heart still pounding against your chest.

Jesse is the kind of friend you can never let go. He's just that important.

Between the soft tunes of comfortingly familiar songs and a few shed tears, the two of you scheme together... Creating a, hopefully, foolproof plan on how to finally approach the elephant in the room. Ellie and you; it wasn't over, was it?

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #joel and ellie #the last of us #ellie the last of us #tlou #tlou2 #joel miller #joel tlou #ellie #writing #tlou fanfiction #ellie fanfic #ellie fic #ellie williams angst #elliexreader #ellie x fem reader #f reader #ellie x you #ellie x reader #jesse tlou #Jesse #jesse the last of us #dina and ellie #dina tlou #joel the last of us #thelastofus #tlou part 2 #tlou game

[romanticintheory]

Okay but could u write something fluffy with soap. Tbh I feel like he'd be the best friend to lovers kinda thing.

AND YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT i love friends to lovers so much guys u don't understand :(

also, i realize now that this isn't super fluff-heavy!! apologies </3 i got carried away.

johnny "soap" mactavish x gn!reader

warnings: horrid scottish slang from a non-scot (i am sincerely sorry), my writing from 2 am on three hours of sleep (also sincerely sorry)

-

-best friend to lovers with soap except there wasn't really a specific moment you two become each other's. it just... kind of happened.

-growing up with him and supporting his dreams to be a soldier while he supported yours. the first time he came back from a mission, you were the first person he wanted to see once he was allowed back home.

-you used to fuss over any injuries he got from being himself as a little kid, and the worry only heightened when he'd come back from missions with real wounds.

-his mom would always have a cheeky smile seeing you two together. she never said it, but it was always hinted in the way she acted. she was always talking to johnny about how you were such an impressive and loyal young person, often doting on you and insisting you stay for dinner (which, of course, you couldn't refuse).

-the first time johnny started dating someone, it was hard for you to deal with, but it got easier the more it happened.

-what you didn't know was johnny would take it even worse whenever you told him you started dating someone. he'd act all proud and protective in a brotherly fashion, but behind closed doors he was scowling to himself without knowing why.

-one day, you're visiting him in his apartment after he had been away for a few months. you're strangely more subdued than usual, and of course he notices.

-"hey," he calls to you softly, a strange contrast to his usual loud self. "what's wrong?"

-"nothing, don't worry about it," you reassure him, fiddling with the little plushie he got you from his travels--one of the many trinkets he's gotten for you. he always says it's to make up for the fact that he won't be there to bother you in person, but it's actually because every precious little thing he sees reminds him of you.

-"ah ken you're lying," he tells you in a warning tone.

-"i got broken up with, is all," you admit, turning your head away from him.

-"what?" he booms incredulously. how could anyone leave you? "is he insane? after getting an apartment together?"

-"there was this girl from his work and, well, i don't know," you shrugged, fighting back the tears you thought had dried days ago. "he wants the apartment. i mean, he did pay for more of it so-"

-"come live with me."

-it was your turn to be in disbelief, turning your head to face him with a confused look on your face.

-"what?"

-"th' place is empty with me at work. no rent, 's away from yer stupid ex, and ye get to be around me," he added jokingly. you rolled your eyes, but how could you not take him up on his offer?

-from then on, you're living with your best friend and taking care of the place while he's away. if you're staying rent-free, the least you could do was try and be as neat as possible (he insisted it was okay with the place looked like it was lived in, but you refused).

-when he'd come back from his missions, he'd still shower you in little gifts he'd get along the way when possible. you always tried to have some kind of meal ready for him, too.

-"you're always cooking for us, a'm feeling like i should do it sometime," he says, already knowing the answer to that proposal.

-"absolutely not." (the one time you let him cook was when you were both in college. he caught a pan on fire, somehow.)

-"you hurt me!"

-"oh, please."

-eventually, the routine becomes more and more domestic to the two of you. soap's mother always calls out how you two are living like a married couple, but the both of you just laugh it off like neither of you have noticed.

-you eventually notice changes in johnny's gifts. it went from gag gifts and plushies to little pieces of jewelry or intricate pens. sometimes you even think you catch him staring at you, but maybe it was just wishful thinking. he hasn't mentioned being interested in anyone in a while, either.

-it all comes to a head when johnny doesn't come home the day he said he would. sure, it happened at times, but this was the longest amount of time he's been late.

-eventually, he finally walks through the door with too many injuries, a bruise on his lip, and walking with a rough limp.

-you tend to him immediately, of course, interrogating him on what his doctor told him he should do to take care of his healing wounds. the rest of the night goes just like how the others have gone, with you making sure he's fed, warm, and resting.

-by the time you're closing his window for him, you're absolutely exhausted. you had barely gotten any sleep because of johnny's delayed return. normally, you would've let him do more for himself, but the extent of his injuries was worrying you.

-"ye ken am alright, aye?" he asks you in that low, rich voice, searching your eyes for something other than worry and sleepiness. he's sitting up in his bed by the time you walk back to him (despite the fact that you told him to lay down).

-"you're injured. you came home late."

-"what? ye have no faith in me?" he mocks hurt, trying to put a smile on your face or at least get an exhale of amusement out of you, but you weren't in the mood. he could tell by the way you didn't respond and the permanent but subtle frown on your face.

-"i know you're good at your job, johnny," you finally say, ready to call it a night.

-"good. then ye know i'll always come back home to ye, aye?"

-you swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded, too tired to overthink about what he just said.

-"come here," he orders quietly, reaching out to you.

-gently, he coaxes you into laying next to him. the last time you ever slept in the same bed as johnny was when you two were kids. you were having a sleepover at his house with you in his bed and him on a spare mattress. you had a nightmare so bad it woke johnny up, but instead of brushing it off and making a joke of it, he jumped into bed with you and hugged you protectively. he said it was a good way to train for becoming a soldier, and you couldn't help but snort with laughter.

-just like back then, you had an easy time falling asleep in his arms, now.

-you woke up that morning well-rested and still encased in johnny's arms, which was impressive considering the fact that most times he sleeps in a position that looks like he flung himself across the bed.

-when he wakes up, you sit up with the intention getting breakfast up and running, but johnny doesn't like that idea.

-"johnny, it's almost eleven. we have to eat something," you chide, trying to get out of his impossibly strong grasp.

-"ye get all sad when am gone but yer trying to leave, now?"

-"well, i suppose if you're well enough to joke, you're well enough to clean the rest of the house and cook, yeah?"

-he lets go of you immediately in a comical fashion, and you have to catch yourself as you hurl out of bed from the built momentum of your escape. you look back at him with a seriously? look on your face as he laughs at your near fall.

-"doesn't that hurt?" you question him, remembering the bruise and cut near his lips and throat.

-"maybe a little," he admits. "kiss it better?"

-the grin on his face makes you think he was setting you up for that one. how could he be so confident?

-just like the times when his mother called you two a married couple, you laughed it off and headed to the kitchen to start breakfast.

-that wasn't the only time johnny's behavior changed noticeably. now, his longing stares at you were more blatant than ever. he'd hold you by the waist if he was moving past you and even told someone flirting with him "oh, i've got someone at home," while he was on call with you on the other end.

-what more could you do than accept it? it wasn't like you didn't like it, anyway.

-one night, you're both in the dining room with you standing and him sitting down on a chair. his hands are on your waist with his legs on either side of you as you reapply a band-aid to his temple (something he could very well do on his own, but any excuse to be close to you, right?).

-as you finish putting it on, your attention draws itself to his lip nearly healed. gently ghosting your finger across the barely visible bruise, you murmur, "good to see this one's basically healed."

-"awe, but it isn't," he corrects you, a slight pout on his face.

-"it isn't?"

-"no, still hurts like hell." you should've seen this one coming. "kiss it better?"

-"that's the second time you've asked me," you were rolling your eyes as you withdrew your hand from his face, but he caught your hand in his.

-"am being serious, (n/n), only a kiss'll make it better," he insists, that damn smile back on his face.

-you couldn't help but wonder if he was actually being serious or just pulling your leg.

-"how could you be so sure?" you challenged him.

-"seen it in ma dreams." oh, that was a funny one.

-"you dream about kissing people to heal your wounds?" you ask through the remnants of your laughter, but he's still looking at you with that same far-off smile on his face.

-"no, just of you."

-there's a pause between the two of you as you process what he said.

-"oh."

-he squeezes your hand with an expectant look in his eyes, like he knew you were head over heels just as much as he was for you.

-you cleared your throat and tried to ignore the searing burning in your cheeks. "well, i guess if you dreamt it, it must be true," you tell him.

-he places his unoccupied hand under your chin and guides your face to his, but he doesn't close the gap. it was like he was waiting--making sure you really wanted to go through with this.

-but you do, so you press your lips to his and he lets go of your face to put his palm on the small of your back, pulling you impossibly closer toward him.

-later that night, when you're back in his arms watching your guys' favorite show and he's calling his mother to tell her the news, you can hear her shrieks of excitement coming through the phone.

-the only thing you don't hear is when she asks, "when's th' wedding?"

-"soon, hopefully," he looks at you leaning against him, head pressed against his shoulder and arm clinging to his like it was meant to be. "but there's no rush. a've waited this long, aye?"

#call of duty imagine #call of duty x reader #cod x reader #cod imagine #call of duty x you #soap x reader #johnny soap mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish x you #johnny mactavish imagine #johnny soap mactavish imagine #soap imagine #cod mw x reader #soap x y/n #johnny mactavish x y/n #rarawrites

[altocat]

not to make this nsfw, but haven’t sephiroth and genesis seen each other naked before given the fact that they’re in the military together? and if so, are they just so used to it that ~feelings never occur when they happen to see each other nude, even though they’re very much crushing on each other?

They're both military men, so yeah. They've seen each other at pretty much every angle during their time together. For the most part, it's not really a big deal between them at this point. The first time was certainly awkward. But when you're focused on the mission or some other dramatic situation at hand, it's not really on their mind. Job takes priority, as well as most of their attention. They can keep things pretty professional during "business hours", even able to have full face to face conversations with each other without reacting or consciously thinking about it. And for as flirty as Genesis is, he's got a respectful sense of boundaries. Same goes for Seph. Whatever they have going on between them, it's not displayed during instances where there's the threat of making the other party genuinely physically vulnerable and uncomfortable. That would be crossing a line, especially with Sephiroth's history of physical violation.

So they "turn it off" at will. Business is business. There's a time and place for everything.

That said, Genesis would be lying if he wasn't quietly and unconsciously mapping out every inch of Sephiroth's body for personal private uh "appreciation". He doesn't know that the feeling is mutual.

The worst part is that neither party is even aware they're doing it. And they don't realize it until literal hours later after the fact, equally embarrassed and flustered as a result. Idiots.

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #crisis core #sephiroth #genesis rhapsodos #sephgen #genseph #sephesis

[aroaessidhe]

2022 reads // twitter thread  

The Whispering Dark

supernatural YA

a  girl is accepted into a prestigious university that trains students to slip between parallel worlds

but previous students’ mysterious deaths start to make her think her fear of the dark is something more tangible

Deaf MC

necromancy

#The Whispering Dark #aroaessidhe 2022 reads #do you want dark academia? spooky horror? mystery? parallel universe stuff? pick up literally any other book #this is just a creepy romance. none of that potentially interesting stuff. #there’s very little academia or like. going into the parallel worlds thing. it’s mostly about the weird relationship between them #i think it’s also just kind of…….boring? maybe not boring. I just never felt too interested in it #there was one of two bits that were kinda spooky and i was like oh? but thats it. #why is the love interest such a piece of shit. like he’s horrible to her and then suddenly he’s nice I guess? but then the entire time he’s #he’s lying about the fact that they know each other? #like i genuinely mistook him for the other dude she was hanging out with for a few chapters because suddenly they were just fine with each o #actually when she met nate i was like wait is HE the love interest. and the other guy is legit a creep. but no. #also he’s like obsessed with her #why are we pretending “I am deeply sickeningly alarmingly obsessed with you” is romantic. is this twilight. #‘what did i do why are you avoiding me’ YOU MURDERED SOMEONE IN FRONT OF HER? #wait also these was this bit where it was like “he pronounced wednesday a syllabul at a time. wed nes day” sdjjfgsdjgfsjd that doesn’t….. #anyway. the deaf MC was cool. #there’s the hint of things that could be really interesting on the edges. #but it’s just all about their weird toxic relationship. like barely any exploration of the parallel worlds. or academia. or the side charact #her ‘friends’ are only in plot relevant scenes #lol

[wayfinderships]

Good morning gamers!! Hope you're all doing well! As for me, I'm thinking about this bastard again-

#pan rambles #He looks good-I MEAN HAHA DID Y'ALL HEAR SOMETHING? #Jokes aside though. Knowing what a fashion disaster S.anji can be... I'm pleasantly surprised his egghead arc outfit isn't awful #I was fully prepared to have some awful color combo but it's actually nice #Blue and Yellow... That's also my s/is color scheme ahem- #talking about anythind related to the end of Wano or anything past that makes me 👉👈 A bit #Bc Panchi/S.anji officially start dating at the end of Wano #“Panchi did it really take over 1000 chapters?-” YES IT DID #They're both stubborn idiots who struggle to put their emotions into words! especially feelings of affection! #They'd sooner take a deadly hit for the other than admit they like each other! and the fact the two are so stubborn doesn't help #They're both incredibly flawed but they both grow to the point where my s/i can finally confess- #Ahem that was long ny apologies! #Ask me about S.anji/Panchi and you'll get a whole essay and sometimes even some of my writing- #I'm so normal about these two (Lying)

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[bluffmotel]

while only a minority share this view, i do find it somewhat tone deaf when people claim jay's ending is the best outcome for an abuse survivor -- either directly or indirectly implying everyone in the holt house was an abuser that jay, their sole little victim, had to get away from. for starters, none of his endings are happy ones. not even the fugitive path where he's holed up amongst nature, has a dog, and is bathed in solitude. maybe if you close your ears to what jay's saying during that scene you could see this as good for him, but his dialogue is stifled with an achingly loneliness, a sadness. this idea that he craved being alone in the wilderness is not one jay paints himself, it's only something that's said by tyler ; someone who clearly doesn't understand the younger on any level, much less grasps his desires. yes, jay wanted out, he likes nature, though no human can stew in their own space for years without this affecting them mentally. and that's not even taking into account that his entire life is over! he can't travel, he can't visit other countries or get lost in other areas of wood lands or plains, jay is infinitely stuck where he is. it's not a prison cell but it's a cage nonetheless, as the old saying goes : a golden cage is still a cage, after all. he tells zoe these beautiful sights have grown dull on him, laments about missing his family, vanessa, and is so chained by his want for connection he reaches out to a desert dream victim of all people. like, what about this muted cynicism, this barren home, seems happy? maybe he wanted this, some whimsical dream of this, before. now though? it's not what jay thought it'd be, and he lacks any power to change it. this is not some amazing ending for abuse survivors, it's still sad in a melancholy way, simply because jay is visibly unhappy with said circumstances.

but moving on to this, ah, ‘poor little victim in a lion's den’ narrative ... what? i think a lot of people fail to grasp how complex the holt household is in terms of toxicity and abuse. something that's very common nowadays due to how much people project rather than see what's in front of them. and don't get me wrong! projection is fine, you do you, we all consume and parse through media differently -- but this narrative is, by canon evidence, rather fictional. to be completely blunt, jay is not the only victim stuck in the holt house ?? the abusers have always been bear ( physical abuse, verbal degradation ) and sharon ( passive in the face of her kids' abuse, emotional manipulation ) ... and we are literally told point blank by the story itself and another character that these two favored jay immensely compared to their other children. now i'm obviously not saying that he has not faced trauma, he has! favoritism in a house like this does not shield you from the toxicity, sometimes that favor makes things worse, but he was protected to an extent, in ways tyler and dale were not. those two very clearly faced the brunt of bear's physical abuse ; for each other, for jay, and just overall caught their dad's ire more because they stood up to him. tyler takes a beating, a sight that's not at all new by his grim acceptance of this and the fact he states he's been doing this since young :

so, this is normal for tyler. getting beaten by his dad ( which isn't even mentioning the horror story bear can tell to ash, about how he literally threatened to cut tyler's ear or finger off ) and having his mom overall turn a blind eye to it, even going as far as to dismiss this fighting as childish behavior rather than what it is. and dale? we don't see much of him and bear in general, yet the second he steps up to defend tyler, with something as measly as a shove back, bear wastes zero time in hitting him so hard he's practically out of commission for the rest of the fight. he didn't even think about it, merely swung at dale as hard as possible on instinct alone before tyler hastily stepped up to defend him. what happens when jay tries stopping the fight, though?

both parties grab for him so they can toss him out of the way so he doesn't possibly get hurt. you can speculate bear was only doing this in order to finish his punishment on tyler, he'd deal with jay later whatever, although why not punch him like dale? why, out of all the moves on his belt, does he do the more merciful option? bear, who is nothing if not made of violence and has been molded to respect it? his fist that's raised in the air isn't for jay, since the next frame is jay shoved out of the way and him hitting tyler again ... hell, in dialogue where bear and jay are sitting on their porch, the youngest can even say bear beats on tyler and dale specifically. why not say “you beat on us”? like, the game is heavily implying that while jay is traumatized, there are some methods of abuse he simply did not face. one of them being the physical abuse prominent at home. and no, i'm not counting whatever pranks dale's pulled on jay ( like shooting him six times with a bb gun lmao ) because honestly? that's just older brother behavior, and we know that despite the morbid pranks, he still looked out for jay in the ways that counted. like protecting him from pa and to an extent tyler, something which, again, jay says himself!

back on topic a bit, the notion people seem to have of jay and his family seems overly simplified to me. people just looked at dale being his usual asshole self and went ‘abuser’, people looked at tyler's rather drastic and not usually like himself reactions to a high stress situation and went ‘abuser’, and that's a bit ridiculous to me. can't say i'm shocked! since so many people nowadays just see someone mean to their favorite character and decide woobifying said fave while demonizing their opposing force is exactly what canon intended. as dusk falls couldn't be a game more clear about it's main theme of family and the fact there's no purely good or bad people in this world, two statements that correspond directly to the holt family. are they bad for each other? probably! but that's a different discussion compared to, say, every single soul in that house violently abused poor jay and they should reap the consequences of that. dale and tyler, like their beloved younger brother, are also victims of abusive parents and a toxic home life. in turn, they both show signs of this abuse in ways that aren't entirely sympathetic or easy to swallow, especially when they've been dealing with it longer than jay and have never had their parents' favor the way he did. i see people get angry at tyler for the famous cabin scene, but nobody turns a critical eye to sharon ; who for all intents and purposes is watching this unfold without a care. she never physically stops tyler and her attempts to kill the fight are weak compared to her previously steely commands. and, honestly, the fact that tyler was that stressed about sharon getting on that bike so she can be protected, when she's the most capable out of the three of them, is way more strange than tyler's outburst -- when he's in a high stress situation, his baby brother's dead, and his life as he knows it is over. a life he didn't even have to begin with, since it was stolen due to his abusive upbringing.

whether this excuses what he did or not is entirely up to the player! i personally don't think it does, though i also understand where this is coming from and the game makes it clear this is not usual tyler behavior. throughout other people's views it's hammered into us that tyler has a cool head relatively, is the most sensible and smart out of his brothers. so, no, i do not think he was choking jay out all the time for his misplaced resentment -- i think his obvious disliking came from his stilted interactions with jay, and his lack of bond with him at all. we see in book one two times he reaches out to jay, demanding that he eats ( a minor, small thing to fret and worry about ) as well as panicking when he sees jay away from the rest of them during a shoot out. dale constantly looks out for jay as well, going as far as to take the heat from romero if they get caught and something as small as taking blame for jay's mistake in the barn scene. are his brothers more prone to violence and apathy? sure! yet they clearly love jay regardless. abusive households are not easy and see through. in fact in many cases the different levels of abuse the kids suffer does breed life altering resentment later on, envy that can damage these bonds permanently. honestly the holt family intrigues me deeply because of how well written they were as a unit, the effects of abuse and toxicity subtle and not overt in a ‘psa message’ kinda way. and these horrible relationships and ideals shared do not negate from the even more horrible fact that there is love in this messed up family, even bear clearly loves his sons, but that doesn't make it better. it almost makes it worse, seeing all the good intentions and care. knowing it doesn't excuse what they've done to each other nor does it make them better. they're a picture perfect family of an ugly wound! which is fascinating! i only wish more people saw that wonderfully shown depth rather than this bland and lukewarm take on the holts overall.

jay is a victim, he is traumatized, he deserved to one day spread his wings and put some distance between himself and his family ... but he was not the only one who deserved that ending, and he was not the only victim there. he was merely the only one with easy to parse trauma responses.

#as dusk falls #interior night #jay holt #dale holt #tyler holt #the holt family #meta post #ngl i'll make fancier tags eventually because i do not wanna clog the adf tag but this'll do #this was not supposed to be my first post yet i feel very strongly about this topic and the holts so um #here we go i guess! #cannot stress enough the literal dev of interior night has said the holts do want what's best for each other #they just have different ideas of what that best is! so it comes out wrong and warped and sometimes mean spirited #but they aren't just 2-bit abusers with signs on their heads saying : i hate jay and abuse him on the regular im a monster kill me #like do you know how much it wrecked me going through variations of the jay in prison scenes and seeing him say like #that tyler might even be happy out there as a fugitive. and that jay wants that for him? for tyler to be happy? #even jay himself comes into his wisdom which has always been there and acknowledges his love for his family #and the fact tyler and dale were miserable going on the way they were. just like he was! #the game centers around the holts and the walkers because they are two families that love each other and fumble the landing of it #jim lies to vince over something unforgivable. yet lying is all he knows. yet he did it out of a selfish love for his son #michelle cheats on vince which is awful and tries to paint it as something not important but she loves vince #is even willing to let him indulge in petty revenge ( which is missing the point ) so that they can stay together! #terrible things they're doing but it never takes away from the fact they love vince and zoe #a sentiment echoed by the holts! #idk like i know this take might get me killed but seeing morally gray games get the black and white treatment kills me #you are missing the true brilliance of adf's writing! you are missing some amazing characters! #also jay is not some unflawed creature. he literally can get so jealous over some girl that he isn't dating to the point of MAIMING a guy #he could've killed todd. he probably almost did! vanessa even says he might be more like his family than he thinks #and even if you don't choose this option it is still inside him. this paranoid jealousy and brutal violence #he can shoot vince or watch him die. he can let his dad die. he can bury someone alive. he can kill a cop and some poor ranger #dale and tyler and jay might be different characters and were shaped differently but they're still the same at their core

[steelycunt]

ridi im sorry i need to rant and i think youll get it 😭 like not to be a bitch but this fandom kinda going off the rails and annoying the shit out of me https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbYASpf/ everybody in the comments unironically loving it,,, i mean wtvr ship who you want but its kinda getting delusional like ppl are just operating on thin air and pretty fancasts atp and i do Not understand or emotionally connect with any of it. at least w wolfstar theres so much material and foundation to explore but what is all the rest of this?? just hot celebrity fancasts and crack. to be fair part of me respects taking a terfs canon material and making everybody gay but the way it seems to be so oversaturating fics and the fandom that characters dont even feel like their original selves .. atp its all just surface level OCs

hello! yes! i'll be honest talking about things like this always make me a little nervous, and i feel obligated to preface anything i say with a disclaimer that none of it really matters, nothing i say matters, and you should do what you like, because--who cares. i am not an authority on--anything, frankly. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and all i'm doing here is giving it, so. essentially what im saying is--people are perfectly entitled to disagree with me, but people are not entitled to be mean to me about it xx

having said that. it is my personal opinion that s x barty is one of the worst fucking things i have ever heard lol. who even is barty who is that guy. why would s be interested in him at all. i do not understand it it does not make sense to me. from where are we sourcing the character traits and personality that we are giving barty that would ever endear sirius to him, because it objectively cannot be canon.

overall i do not get the new interest in barty + evan + pandora (+ regulus, but we won't go there)...at all, other than guessing that people were bored with the marauders and wanted a new version of them (and new celebrities to fancast) while simultaneously changing next to nothing about them other than superimposing them onto the first slytherin side characters they could rustle up. i expect ive become a bit of a broken record in regards to my dislike of the popular meow-meow-ification + complete absolution of regulus as a character in order to make him a loveable oc (just as i think erasing all the negative traits that r/s have in order to make them more likeable is just as boring), and all of that applies to those other guys as well (with the slight difference that they are, somehow, even less interesting and significant than regulus in canon), so i won't get into that too much. but i think what you say about having no emotional connection to any of it is exactly right lol--it is a sort of shift? i guess? in the fandom that is simply of no interest to me. they are characters that i just have no emotional investment in and admittedly struggle a little to understand why other people do. i am emotionally invested in, like, five characters overall (and even out of those--there's only two i'm really here for innit xx) and i personally cannot extend that investment to a creepy little side character who is mentioned maybe twice in the entire series.

and that is okay! i do not need to understand it. i don't want to say it annoys me because honestly--i don't go there, its nothing to do with me. if i dont like it i just wont interact with it, and the fact that it doesn't interest me has no bearing on what other people are into or want to do, and i couldn't give less of a shit what people do with the canon material, which is largely garbage anyway. take the bits you want from it, play around with those and ignore the rest. in that respect we are all doing exactly the same thing. but yeah i think s x barty is genuinely awful lol. hate it. very terrible. he's already got a loser werewolf boyfriend and he loves him so so much. leave him alone.

#i know most people are reasonable and thus it is perhaps overly cautious of me to insist on shrouding my unpopular #opinions in like. layer upon layer of placatory disclaimers but. well im a rather anxious guy i can't help it xx but im going to use these #tags to have a bit more of a consequence-less hater hour so. if you like regulus or barty or any of that lot i suggest you look away now #because i am about to express opinions about them that you probably wouldnt agree with + wouldnt enjoy reading!! #like full warning what im about to do is NOT any sort of analysis or defence of my opinion i will just be hating on them. is that clear. #okay. having said that. hater hour. barty and evan and honestly regulus were all cunts? like they were terrible people why do we care #about them now. regulus interests me solely as a piece of context for sirius' character. i could not give less of a shit about him as a #person in his own right. which leads me to my next hater moment: why oh why oh WHY on earth would canon james potter be interested #in canon regulus black. it makes sense in like a muggle au where they are virtually completely different characters but canon? #why would he be attracted to him. there is nothing. there is no chemistry i am ASLEEP and so is james. he would not give that #guy a second look. like it just baffles me it truly does. i feel like you have to bend over backwards to create a situation in which #james potter would ever show an interest in regulus. and i know jegulus is a fucking force to be reckoned with nowadays but god i just #do not like that ship. also i think the fact that barty and pandora and evan are essentially just oc characters who have been coloured #in by general fanon consensus shows in that what they have become is just. not interesting or complex or well fleshed out lol. like #idk i feel like they are just. very shallow. deliberately. so they are easy to like and easy to ship because that is what theyre there for. #god it feels so good to say all this. i will never be a hater again (<- lying) but i needed to be able to just. say this just once xx #also if you needed any more indication what barty and evan and regulus are here to do you just have to look at their #super-hot super-conventionally attractive celebrity model fancasts. like it all adds up its like but what if these death eaters were #not actually evil :-( what if they were really sweet and also? so so hot. like they were all so hot and actually really good #and none of them meant to be evil they didnt want to be :-( they were just hot good guys all in love with each other and the evil stuff #they did wasnt their fault :-( like that has to be. the most boring thing you couldve possibly done with these blank slates. surely. #anyway. im done now but i enjoyed hater hour immensely this was so fucking good for my soul xx thanks and goodnight xx #anon #telegram #scream hang on sorry. just looked at the comments of that tiktok where people are saying they were prison besties. girl. girl. #girl they were in prison for very different reasons baby. baby you know that right. baby look at me. look at me

[chirpsythismorning]

☎️🎲 🤼‍♂️ ✈️🚪 ➡️ 🫀🎮⌛️

Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA

previous ⏮️ now playing ⏭️ next back to playlist

#platonic elmike #stranger things #bizarre love triangle playlist #mike wheeler #mike's pov #mike is still a hard nut to crack for me... #this scene in particular i'm still not certain about #i do think it was riddled with his very consistent tactic of stalling #but he's also of course relieved to hear el say she missed him #perhaps this is him thinking "oh thank god she doesn't hate me' #while also having to accept in real time that will was perhaps right that el still needs him... but is he up for the task of el's bf?... #and so he's sort of trying to work out how he can finally just do this to do right by el #which comes with the fear that he is indeed going to lose her when it all comes crashing down inevitably like it already has and is #either way i think he's contending with the fact that losing el may be inevitable #that's why he's having such a hard time lying to her in the first place #bc he knows lies lead to the truth eventually being revealed #and so he just feels her slipping through his fingers no matter what he does #he imagined this future with her (and will) where they stayed connected to each other no matter what #but mike's scared that future won't be possible once all is revealved #i think will's whole speech in the van has mike even more conflicted #bc his feelings for will are very strong at this point #and so even if he believes that this is truly how el feels as of now... #he also probably knows deep deep down that he wishes (still hopes) it was will's feelings #which makes going through with this even harder #not to mention all the parallels between mike and hopper ('not hopper...not mike... you!') #these two male figures in el's life who rescued her from a horrible situation are having a hard time coming to terms with her growing up #like yes she's growing and 'slipping through your fingers' but that's okay! #you don't have to lose her forever just because she doesn't have to rely on you anymore! #4x09 #gif

[idiaa-shroxd]

YOUR WRITING IS SO PRETTY I COULD EAT IT. YOU CHARACTERIZE THE CHARACTERS SO WELL TOO!!!

thank you so much!! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ happy you think my writing is very pretty!! and also makes me happy you think my characterization was correct.

when writing for characters always take a bit of extra time to ensure they sound good? thinking about having an actual conversation with them for a minute and what they’d do! ♧ personally a big fan of viginettes since that reveals a lot of a character more than mainstory.

Σ('◉⌓◉’) mini (huge) rant within the tags of the way of my process to understand a character!!

#i’ve been trying to work on characterization with trey for example because in the main story he is relatively nice #but within his viginettes he’s a bit more than that like a slightly smug teaser than boy next door. #the characters tend to have complexity rather than one dimension traits people tend to stick by #which isn’t a bad thing but to start writing it could help kick you off but majority of the time your characters do have many emotions to #aspirations- such as vil being mean BUT that coming with subtle charm of care- he does not derive pleasure from purposefully degrading other #he firmly believes he can see the beauty in everyone if they try and he attempts to get others to apply themselves so they can be pretty #he does not go around like ew you’re ugly go away unless you have a negative attitude like leona who purposefully does not put any effort #but sometimes his pursuit for beauty can go out of hand like with epel or neige but his dorm ssr perfectly illustrates he knows what he does #he does not always explain himself with having epel do heavy lifting which only helps epel improve but he would not tell him this directly #there are other characters i can rant about the way i write. such as sebek being a malleus fanboy #but that was not a central part of his personality to warrant every fic just mentioning malleus each sentence #the best way to learn how to write for him would be looking at his viginette or his event story without tsunotarou!! he is quite a wonderful #-ly designed character but gets overlooked due to his ‘louder’ part of his personality. but he genuinely has captivated me as a character #the best examples for eng players would be during harveston- when he was extremely passionate about what he did with a soft side for his #plush!! he’s a big softie. he’s just very confused because his grandfather openly hates humans. he acknowledges marja and complimented her #he’s not hating humans for no reason but because it was taught to him. he’s trying his best to be what he is but you can tell he is not too #prideful that he would refuse to acknowledge marja just for being a human. in fact in his viginette he HELPS humans with their lumber #though that is technically due to him being confident he can do so compared to a human thanks to being a guard for Malleus but he is quite #happy to be complimented!!-. he is a character with more depth: ceremony viginette next #he tells yuu to just let him handle things since he’s stronger which shows he’s also blunt and says things without thinking about others at #times. but people are MISSING out on fics with sebek yuu and tea bonding over tsunotarou because he has no hostility to those who like #tsunotarou. he is happy to teach!! his other viginette think pe??: lilia tricks him into eating steak with yogurt iirc and he does honestly #it’s disgusting but he trusts lilia and 100% believe the old fae. THE POTENTIAL. authors need to use that?? just lilia messing with him or #how he can sometimes be so gullible you can get him to trust you mixed together with how attached he was to squirrel plush #he’s actually such a cute character. #there’s also Kalim who KNOWS there are bad people. he is not innocent as he knows there are bad people that want him gone #his least favorite food is curry because Jamil got sick for a week after taste testing his food. #Kalim just chooses. he wants to believe the kindness of the world not due to purity but due to the fact he does not want to live in constant #fear. which in itself already makes him more than one dimension. he may seem carefree but there’s room to play with when describing him??… #questions of styx.

[cosmicfruits]

Synth!Sosu is such an interesting concept like. Shaun wants to just. know how much his parents loved him, like his own messed up way of feeling loved. But he doesn't want to kill his parent, so he takes them out of the cryo and replaces them with a synth.

Synth!Sosu runs across the Commonwealth for their son only to realise, maybe when they get to Far Harbour and meet DiMA, that they aren't who they believed they were. Shaun isn't even their son, its someone else's child

Maybe it takes them a while to deal with that fact, but it only stings more when Shaun tells them synths aren't humans, and cant feel. Because everything they've done to get to him was because of those intense feelings of love for their son

Idk it's just an interesting concept to me, thats kinda why I made Alyx a synth lmao. Although that does mean I need to wait till night to buy from that one ladys stand in diamond city because I don't wanna lie to her.

#Really annoying when my companions get pissed that i tell her im a synth like !!! GUYS IM NOT LYING IM TELLING THE TRUTH #fallout 4 #sole survivor #sole survivor oc #and NO i am NOT saying that sosu is canonically a synth it is a roleplaying game !!! #everytime i see “sosu is DEFINITELY a synth” or “sosu isn't a synth” i lose another braincell. its YOUR CHARACTER DO WHAT YOU WANT #also its kinda interesting to see nick and sosus dynamic #nick has had years to process the fact hes not the original nick #but sosu has only really realised this fact and doesn't even know for sure #they are RELATABLE to each other #but it also makes the ride from far harbour SO MUCH MORE DEPRESSING #“so uh... interesting job eh?” while nicks processing the fact he has a brother #sosu is processing the fact they may be a synth #and kasumi is trying not to think about what awaits for her at home #i would pay. to not be on that ride home !