#and just go I WILL CONSUME HIM. ALIVE. RAW. I WILL VORE HIM STARTING FROM HIS FINGERs

[fisheito]

how would you eat/cook each nukani character

oh noooooooooo (holds my face in great contemplative agony) u can't do this to me

Eiden: oh mein gotTtTtt getting my hands on eiden would be like receiving an entire cart of summer fresh-from-farm produce. or an entire cow carcass . i would have SO MANY PARTS and SO MANY WAYS to prepare him and every part of him would taste delicious in its own way. there's no way i can ONLY cook eiden one way. i'd have to put him thru every process possible (true to his versatility). i thought about spitroasting him (for the joke) but that's too much eiden for one method. i need to covet him like the king tuna at the fish market as i take him apart piece by piece look. i am frying him like egg for a fast breakfast. i am meticulously grinding him to a paste in a traditional mortar and pestle. i am using him as pesto AND as dipping sauce. i will dehydrate him and drink him as tea. he will be roasted . braised. devoured raw in ceviche. i'll infuse him with vinegars! syrups! oils!! is there a way to make a sourdough starter but it's eidough starter so i can just keep him on my shelf and feed him every day and pass him down for generations? i want eiden for every meal of the day prepared 1000 ways

Aster: would aster taste like blood or the absence of it? hmmmm..... i guess it depends on when he feeds! maybe if i bite into him after a feeding session, he'll burst like a cherry tomato. but otherwise i feel like giving aster the sashimi treatment. put him all fancy on the plate with some garnishes after i treat him with a light citrus wash or smth. a fresh cool flavour!! i'm tempted to make some sort of beverage out of him. dilute him into a fancy mocktail of strange spirits and woody spices. aster juice?!?! looks like pink wine???! i have to treat this one like i'm spoiling him with gifts. he'll probably end up on the artisanal charcuterie board with the fusion jams and marmalades...

Morvay: i feel like he would have a very...particular aroma. he eats a very specialised diet so of everyone in the clan, he has to follow "you are what you eat", right?? my first instinct for some reason is to cure him. like, turn him into prosciutto. if he's gonna have a funky smell, might as well turn up the salt and cure him. tie him up and lock him in the carefully controlled environment of the curing basement. dark... surrounded by other meatbags... slap him around every now and then. slice him up thin and put him on that fancy cheese board with a bunch of other strong smelling foods. slurp him down him with a glass of astringent aster juice to balance out the richness of the morv

Yakumo: soup. he's getting souped. it's only right. might split him half and half into one soup and one stew. maybe the soup will just be a concentrated essence of snek-style broth. like a clear, warming bowl of pho that is DISTILLED YAKUMO and doesn't need much else besides some fave spices to accompany the flavour. as for the stew? i just straight up like stew and it can be so nutritionally complete. so he's going in the classic comfort stew. chunks of yakumo and seasonal vegetables simmered to make a thick hearty pot of glorp. maybe add some alcohol to it if i want to live dangerously. he will sustain me for days to come. anything that i do not turn into soup? i'm going to steam him. a mild little parcel of wrapped yakumo, gently steamed for a hot minute. yakumo tastes best to me when a little wet.

Edmond: to honour his thick sugary ass, i have to turn edmond into some sorta dessert. turn the defrosted ice queen into ice cream? now i could just put edmond in a pot and reduce him until he turns into a syrup but then i would waste all the extra good bits that make up edomon. u need the tsun with the dere and reducing him to pure dere is NOT balanced. he can withstand quite a bit of punishment so maybe i'll whip him up like a custard (by hand FIRST. if that's not strong enough, i'll use an electric hand mixer). turn him into an earl grey creme brulee where u can set him on fire then smack that caramelised crust before spooning out the goopy insides.

Olivine: i feel like i'd wanna enjoy olivine in his least processed form. just enjoy the pure marbled goodness of well-exercised, tender oli. so why not a steak? medium rare to rare? just a little pan-sear and we can chew on him all we want. (i considered searing on a grill, but it's easier around here to get a pan instead of a grill. and oli is all about being accessible to the greatest number of people.) on the other hand, that might not honour oli's nature. he, too, can stand up to a lot of punishment. he might even like it. so part of him can be the relatively unprocessed slab and the other can be a cutlet. that way i can beat him with a hammer, dredge and bread him, then toss him into the deep fryer. to be served with a variety of heavy or creamy sauces.

Quincy: this man is OLD and TOUGH and he probably tastes like every bit of wildlife in the forest combined. then again, he's also always sleeping so does that mean his meat is quite relaxed and i don't have to tenderise forever to be able to chew it? quincy probably eats the simplest diet (no processed microwave preservative type cocktails in here) so he'd be best appreciated in an equally simple dish?? i'd like to skewer him. make him bite-size and cook him over a campfire. alternating with simple salt vs. intricate dry rubs bc i'm not sure which i'd prefer. if he ends up being tough, i'll let him hang out in a savoury marinade for however many days he needs (do NOT make me put a pineapple in there, mister).

Kuya: i lied. **THIS** man is OLD and TOUGH and SINEWY and A BITCHASS to deal with and i bet if i cut him at *just slightly near the wrong spot* then some mystery sac of foul gunk will explode all over me like a punk'd prank. i will take any excuse during the cooking process to abuse this one. grate his rind to infuse in the sauce. mince him for the physical satisfaction then throw him into the blender anyway. toss him violently into a fiery wok and start saute-ing him with every other ingredient ever. i hope you get stabbed by a bunch of pointy carrots. i'll broil him as if he's not already crispy. and I BET at the end of all this work, i'll have somehow have messed up and made him inedible. skill issue. at this point i give up, toss the entire kuya into the pressure cooker, and turn him into stew.

G/Karu: i wanna toss them like a salad (i think they'll have fun with that). i could go the traditional way and make wolf jerky. bring it on the road for a durable snack! if i could somehow chop these two up and turn them into furikake, they could become my convenient, reliable flavour injector for a quick bowl of rice. it's tricky because there are two distinct flavours and they gotta be treated differently to bring out their full potential. but they're also inseparable. what do i do??? i might just put them into my party-type foods where flavours are supposed to mix and it's the wildness of the combos that make it all fun. he's going on the 12-topping pizza!! he's being melted onto the giant tray of nachos!!!

Blade: CAN I EAT THIS? WILL I DIE? WILL MY TEETH BREAK OFF? i have to debone him. i bet there are pointy bits hiding everywhere. get my special tools out and pluck at him for over an hour (i must be thorough). might just put him in the microwave (he'd probably enjoy that). i feel like essence of Blade would also do well as a bubbly drink. mix a simple edroid syrup with some club soda and some edible flowers to look pretty (low calories too!). if the legends are true and blade can adapt to any flavour, i might just turn him into a condiment or special spice mix. grind him to dust and put him in a nice glass container near my stove so i can add him to various foods (the weirder the combo, the better). keep the spirit of experimentation alive with Blade popcorn seasoning!!

Dante: i am gonna make him fragrant as hell. gonna smoke him over intricate spice combos or tea leaves and impart him with the most alluring lung-punchiest sniffs. i don't wanna be too harsh with him but i trust that he'll at least stand up to heat well. he'd probably complain about wasting time, but i'm not rushing the process. u will sit in the smoker and steadily break down over time. maybe after the smoke, i can tuck the odds and ends into a savoury saucy pie. bake him for an hour surrounded by a flaky buttery crust? i might also experiment with some fermentation, like a dante kimchi. i'm curious as to how he'd change flavours given time to age (and just relax for a bit, really).

Rei: i am pickling him. he's gonna become that sour salty lil accompaniment to every meal i have. he'll last forever and somehow never mould and no matter how long i leave him chillin in the fridge, when the time comes to put him on a bun, i know i can rely on him to not suddenly go limp. i still gotta be careful with him tho. can't just stick my fingers in the jar and introduce contaminants all the day because it IS possible to Spoil the Goods idk i just feel like i'd have to let him sit in SOME sort of marinade or brine. if i try to eat him raw i might turn 14 shades of purple before dissolving into radioactive bile

#this is something i never thought about until u brought it up #it felt like zizz pointing to this big button on my head like WHAT'S THIS? #and i respond: uhhm. i don't know. maybe you shouldnt- #zizz: presses the button #[a door on my skull swings open and my brain leaps out. landing on the floor with a wet florpch] #dude legit i was thinking about this for days #if you're wondering whether i was imagining real gore or just fun silly metaphorical cooking #it was oscillating between both. i can't tell where the mind theatre is right now. probably jumping between genres #last night i was tempted to erase my entire blurb for yakumo #and just go I WILL CONSUME HIM. ALIVE. RAW. I WILL VORE HIM STARTING FROM HIS FINGERs #then i slept on it and woke up with inhibition renewed so i left the blurb alone #the clan's all here! #asks

[belliesandburps]

Are you still doing belly n’ burp headcanons? If you are, can you do some for either Baraka or Kollector?

Some non-anime headcanons, eh?  Let’s get crack-a-lackin’!  (WARNING: CONTAINS HARD VORE TIDBITS BECAUSE MORTAL WOMBAT)

Baraka

Baraka in MK11 is a voracious fiend.  A lot of his dialogue consists of threatening to devour people, and his post Brutality dialogue almost always consists of various predatory statements.  Being a brutal warrior, he tends to eat on the fly.  Mid-battle, he can either slice someone’s limb clean off or, as his brutalities have proven, grab someone by the arm and leg and just start chomping away. 

Baraka’s diet consists ENTIRELY of meat, and almost always, it’s extra raw and extra bloody.  Being the leader of his clan, I like to think he leaves the roasted ‘meat’ for his tribe, preferring his meat straight from battle.In MK11, Baraka is especially burly, far more so than he’s usually been portrayed, so I also imagine his stomach capacity is pretty intense.  I can imagine that Baraka can pick someone down to the point where they’re nothing but a bloody skeleton.  As such, Baraka’s belly can expand to the point where he looks like he’s swallowed a proverbial boulder.  I also believe he’s strong enough to swallow smaller “same-sized” prey whole.  But these are only in instances where he’s free to be completely indulgent, IE battles where there isn’t another opponent just around the corner waiting for him.  I also believe he makes it a point to pick any assassins that have attempted to eliminate him down to the point where nothing but a pile of bones remains.  Even at his most bloated, he’s never immobilized since, well, Baraka is a proverbial and literal beast.

Baraka’s hunger is relentless.  This is a beast who is literally ALWAYS hungry.  But because he’s also a very proactive warrior who happens to eat parts of, or sometimes, the ENTIRETY of his opponents during battle, it means he’s prone to getting indigestion a lot.  On several occasions, Baraka has consumed large portions of his prey, getting considerably bloated, but still has to do flips, ducks, dodges and all assorted maneuvers in combat, and this will cause his belly to groan and gurgle miserably.  Baraka, of course, soldiers on, he has never once let his aching gut keep him from maiming his enemies.  Unfortunately, being a Tarkatan means he’ll sometimes KEEP eating even when he’s full or already in pain because it just comes naturally from the heat of battle, which will make his bellyache even worse.  When that happens, Baraka’s moves become a bit more sluggish as the beast is in pain and in desperate need of some relief.  If he overdoes it during combat, he has been prone to throwing up due to his own exertion.

Baraka’s favorite meal is meat.  Doesn’t matter what it is, human, lizards, boar, if it was once alive, Baraka will sink his razor sharp fangs in and go to down until whatever was once alive is no longer recognizable.  Lizards and smaller beasts, Baraka will just swallow whole, not even bothering to chew.  It’s the larger prey that he chews to bits, and has even resorted to cannibalism, devouring Tarkatans who would dare betray him, though most instances, he’s actually devoured alternate timeline versions of himself.  He can actually confess that he has a very unpleasant taste due to the excess of spikes within Baraka’s body.

Baraka’s favorite beverage is a tie between ale, water and blood.  Blood, he gets straight from any limb he’s ripped clean off as we see in his MK11 Brutalities.  Water he’ll down whenever because Baraka likes to keep hydrated.  He actually has a water pouch on his belt for one of his costumes, I believe.  And ale just goes well with anything.  He’s prone to drinking way too much of the stuff, often downing entire mugs in one hearty, messy gulp, spilling a bunch down the sides of his fang-filled maw as his throat bobs in and out with each hearty glug he takes in.  He never savors a single mug, and instead, always downs it all in one hearty glug, belches tremendously, then downs another one.  It takes a LOT of alcohol for Baraka to get drunk, and very seldom does he allow himself to get drunk since he’s always vigilant.  It is in very, VERY rare occasions where he’ll permit himself to loosen up around his fellow warriors.

Given how ravenous and gluttonous Baraka and all Tarkatans are, it’s no surprise that they aren’t exactly the most well-mannered of brutes.  Baraka has absolutely no shame in belching loud enough to wake the dead.  This is caused either from him devouring so much so quickly or just consuming a TON of meat.  After ripping his prey to shreds and chomping away to the point of sporting a moderately bloated belly, Baraka will toss the bloody bones aside, grab his gut and let out a MASSIVE burp.  After eating enough to the point where his belly is round and sloshing with every lumbering step, Baraka will throw his head back and let out the most deafening belch you will have ever heard.  And usually after a big one like that, he’ll sigh with relief, grin and give his belly a couple of hearty smacks of satisfaction, working up a couple of afterburps as a result.  When Baraka is suffering indigestion, he’ll find himself burping far more often to relieve the ache in his gut, but he has actually burped too hard a few times and accidentally induced vomiting, but those were only in very rare occasions when he was filled to the brim and moving around far too much.  Tarkatans actually subscribe to the ‘burping is a complement to the chef’ sort of culture, despite their cooking usually being, well…us.  So all Tarkatans, male and female alike, will burp like foghorns after a satisfying meal, and some of the crasser ones will actually have burping contests, but while Baraka himself doesn’t engage in such childish activities, without even trying, he’ll let out a record-shattering belch and put any of his underlings to shame.

Baraka isn’t prone to getting hiccups, simply because of his intense his digestive system and metabolism both are.  The closest he gets to is an uncontrollable burping fit where if something isn’t sitting right or if there’s pressure on his esophagus, he’ll find himself burping uncontrollably until that pressure is relieved.  In those instances, he’ll either chug a bunch of water to cool his system or induce a couple of monstrous belches to get all the pressure out at once.

The Kollector

Kollector is Greed Incarnate.  He’s a tax collector in every sense of the word who adores his job and all it entails.  And his greed stretches across every aspect of his character.  He’s a money-grubbing son of a bitch, womanizer, and a surprising glutton.  His gluttony stems both from his inherently greedy nature and his harsh upbringing which, before his final fight, he confesses spitefully to Kitana that she never grew up poor and hungry the way he did, and how, under Shao Kahn, he’d never be hungry again.  (Could be pity was the only reason Kitana ultimately decided to spare him after defeating him)  So almost out of sheer spiteful principle, whenever around food, Kollector’s intent is to eat as much as possible to never allow himself to feel hunger again.

Kollector’s stomach is almost skeletal, so as a result, after almost any meal, his belly will appear noticeably bloated just because of how starved his species is.  But in Kollector’s case, it’s a matter of his constant overindulgence.  After most meals, he’ll naturally sport of a bit of a belly, but when he REALLY overdoes it, his gut will round out by a few feet, making him appear as if he’s swallowed the biggest melon you could manage.  In those instances, he’s immobilized both from fullness and just from the sheer satisfaction of his fullness.  And due to his naturally skinny form, anytime he eats to excess, his stomach churns and gurgles like a chemical plant.

Kollector’s greedy nature tends to lead him to overdoing it.  And as a result, he’s very prone to bellyaches.  However, Kollector is never really concerned about getting indigestion because whenever his belly aches, he will stop, lay down and rub his belly with four of his six hands, all of which he has a very delicate touch with.  He knows how to soothe away the pain kneading and caressing his taut, aching middle as all twenty of those fingers compress and dig into his rubbery flesh, undoing the various knots and caressing every square inch of his rounded, gurgling gut, causing Kollector to rumble pleasantly until the pain fades away.

Kollector’s favorite meal is roasted meat, specifically the Outworld equivalent of ham.  Despite Kollector’s accent being Middle Eastern-sounding, he himself is not, nor does he have any restrictions in his diet.  He dines like royalty, but has no intentions to be royalty due to his undying loyalty to Shao Kahn.  Due to his selfish nature, he wants nothing but the finest, most well seasoned meats money can buy, or rather, OTHER people’s money can buy. 

Subsequently, his favorite beverage is the finest wines in all of Outworld.  He refuses to drink anything less than the most full-bodied, rich wines far too good for peasant lips.  And despite his greedy nature, Kollector does opt to savor good wine, taking small, dainty sips, letting the flavor linger, and threatening to slit the throat of anyone who would dare smoke a cigar around wine…this usually means Kano…

Given Kollector’s greedy nature, it’s a given that eating so much so fast will usually work up some pretty hearty belches.  Most of the time, whenever Kollector burps, it’s a low, wet, rumbling sounding one.  The kind he just lets out to relieve the excess air in his belly or to make room for more food.  Most of the time, when Kollector is eating, he’ll just burp into his fist or stifle it, causing his cheeks to puff out as it rumbles within his mouth, before grunting, blowing the fetid gases away, and eating some more.  It’s usually when he’s incredibly full that he doesn’t bother holding them in.  As he sits back, bloated and content, Kollector will massage his belly, crack his mouth open and let out a wet burp, then smirk contently.  If he’s really full, he can let out a surprisingly HUGE belch, and those will often leave him moaning with relief and patting his belly contently.  Kollector sees himself as a being of high stature, but he comes from dirt, so he’s not exactly a prude when it comes to table manners.  He does have them, which is why he holds in most burps he feels coming up, but if he needs to burp, he won’t shy away from it or be especially embarrassed.  However, if ever around Shao Kahn and he belches by accident, he will turn into the most comically embarrassed creature to ever walk the land, begging Shao Kahn’s forgiveness and excusing himself for the rest of the night.  :P

In contrast, Kollector’s thinner frame makes him prone to hiccups due to his species not normally being used to eating so much the way Baraka’s Tarkatan race is.  As such, Kollector is prone to getting a pretty gnarly case of the hiccups.  If he overdoes it and something goes down wrong, he’ll start hiccuping loudly and sharply.  The poor fiend will hiccup again and again for sometimes half an hour straight, and after a while, his throat will start to burn.  He LOATHES hiccups and will work to quell them anyway he can, usually by downing a lot of water at once.  Sometimes, this works, other times, it just makes him start letting out some wet belches on top of being a hiccup-y mess.

#headcanons #bellycanon #burpcanon #mortal kombat 11 #baraka #the kollector #belly #belly rub #belly kink #bellyache #overeating #stuffing scenarios #oral vore #hard vore #burping #burp kink #overindulgence #hiccups