#drunk Dick

[awhitehead17]

Just for once, please let me forget

Dick & Jason, Dick & Wally, Angst, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Drunk Dick, Emotional Hurt/Comfort.

Summary: There's one inevitable day every year that Dick dreads. This day being the death anniversary of his parents. Even now, after so many years have passed by, he still doesn't know how to deal with his emotions and this year he slips up, turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms to help him get through the day.

A/N: This story is for my 'Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms' square on my Bad Things Happen Bingo card.

Also on AO3

Enjoy! :D

The day he dreads every year has inevitably come around once again. No matter how much he wishes to, it isn’t a day he could ever forget.

Despite all the years that have now been by, waking up on this day isn’t any easier than it had been the first time. He still gets hit with overwhelming emotion, tears that instantly well up in his eyes and threaten to fall, his chest tightens as it’s hard to breathe as he remembers what happened.

Today is the anniversary of his parents deaths.

Today is the day that so many years ago completely changed his life. What happened ripped everything he knew and cherished away from him in a violent and brutal manner. A young child left orphaned without a chance to say good bye. The last thing he remembers is the fear and the screams of his parents as they fell to their deaths, it was an ‘accident’ that was anything but.

Clenching his teeth Dick tries to shake those thoughts from his mind. They’re the same ones he has every year when he wakes up on the morning of this particular date. He’s currently in bed, in the bedroom of one of his safehouses in Gotham City, a current placement while he covers for Bruce and other family members who are on a mission elsewhere. Thankfully he’s alone so no one can see how much he’s falling apart right now.

After waking up he stays in bed for some time, not having the energy to get up or any reason to get motivated. He wallows in misery for the rest of the morning until he becomes to restless to stay in bed. Once up he now feels the pent up energy in full force and tries to decide what to do with himself. Unfortunately his mind won’t shut off, his brain replaying traumatizing scenes over and over again, and Dick knew he needed to do something that would switch his mind off from the horrid thoughts.

Eventually making a decision Dick heads out with the intention of going to the manor, hopefully there he can find someone loitering around that he can bother.

When he arrives he's surprised to only find Jason at the manor. Damian must be with Jon or Colin somewhere, Tim is probably with the Titans or with Benard (are those two dating?), Cass is on a mission with Babs, he has no idea about Duke or Steph, Alfred isn’t around either so he’s most likely out doing errands or spending some quality time alone since Bruce isn’t around for him to babysit.

Jason is in the cave tinkering with a variety of gadgets and equipment. Without giving any warning Dick storms up to the workbench, slams his hands down and pins Jason with a look. “Spar with me.”

To his credit Jason doesn’t startle at his sudden appearance but he does freeze and gives Dick a long stare.

It’s only now he’s in front of the younger man that Dick knows what he’s really after. He wants to be distracted, both in mind and body, he needs something else to help him forget the emotional pain he’s currently experiencing. He can change the pain from emotional to physical… at least with physical pain he knows how to deal with it. He knows how to treat his body after a good workout which leaves him physically exhausted, bruised and sore. Jason packs a good punch and doesn't hold back during sparring, he’s the perfect person for this situation.

The younger man continues to stare and not say anything in response. It takes all of Dick’s restraint to not lash out at him from impatience. Moments tick by and just as Dick thinks he’s about to snap Jason places the tool he’s holding down and stands up, his gaze never leaving Dick.

“Alright. Give me fifteen to change and warm up.”

Dick bites his tongue to stop himself from demanding they just get on with it. He’s here to hurt himself, not to hurt Jason. No one else needs to be hurt because of him.

Twenty minutes they’re on the training mats facing one another with their fists raised and stood in defensive stances.

It’s not enough.

As they trade punches and kicks Dick still struggles to switch his mind off. No matter what he’s still reminded of that day so many years ago. He needs that pain to be numbed, he needs to not remember…

Dick lets Jason get several hits in; he lets the younger man tackle him to the ground, lets him put him into a choke hold and doesn't tap out, he lets Jason wind him from a kick he could have easily blocked. All these things has Dick’s body burning from use and pain but it still isn’t enough. Maybe he should have suggested they use weapons too instead of just hand to hand.

After a couple hours of this, on and off sessions in that time, Jason calls it quits with a dark scowl on his face.

“Enough. What the fuck is wrong with you?” He demands from his side of the mat.

 Dick clenches he teeth and acts clueless. “What do you mean? Why do you want to stop? Is someone getting tired…”

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” Jason swears, “you aren’t even fighting back. You’re letting me strike you and pin you down when you could easily overpower me. You’re not trying.”  

Dick scowls. Of course Jason is right but Dick isn’t going to admit that. “Maybe I’m just having an off day.”

“You don’t have off days. What’s going on?”

If Dick hadn’t been plagued with raging emotions he would’ve picked up on Jason’s concerned tone, nonetheless it sails right over his head and he goes on the defensive side.

“Of course I fucking do. Everyone does. Just ‘cus you paint me as some ‘golden boy’ doesn't actually mean I am one. So fuck you Jason, I just thought we could have a good friendly spar but apparently not.”

Without saying anything more Dick turns and leaves the training area, leaving behind a baffled and gaping Jason.

Sparing with Jason hasn’t done anything to help with his situation, it’s only achieved a small, aching burn throughout his body. He’s going to need to do something else to get through the rest of the day, he doesn't want to remember, he needs the pain to be numbed but the question is how does he achieve that now? Sparring didn’t work so what other options does he have left?

====

Dick is drunk. Absolutely hammered out of his mind. One moment he had been driving away from the manor after a frustrating sparring session with Jason and then in the next he’s in a hidden bar within the city downing shots like it’s going out of fashion.

Dick doesn’t know what drove him to seek out a bar, alcohol more specifically, but for the first time that day his mind is clear of thoughts and he’s at peace. He’s finally achieved what he's been after all day.

Suddenly there’s another glass filled with strong smelling amber liquid being placed in front of him. Dick blinks but by the time he looks up the barman has already moved onto another customer. Huh. He can’t remember ordering another drink however not protesting at the sight of it he picks up the glass, that’s after nearly knocking it over because he misjudged the distance, and raises it to his lips. Just as it’s about to reach his mouth a hand appears out of nowhere and covers the top of the glass making Dick unable to drink any of its contents. Dick frowns and before he could do anything about it the same hand removes the glass from his hand and places it away from him.

Feeling annoyed he's been denied the pleasant burn of alcohol Dick turns to his unknown companion. He has to pause a second later though because the movement causes the room to spin and it takes a moment for Dick to get his senses together. Eventually he sees the person who dared to disturb him.

It’s Jason. Dick’s mood sours at the sight of the younger man. He hadn’t wanted to be around Dick earlier and now he’s brothering him here. What the fuck does he want?

“I think that's enough drinking for one night.” Jason says evenly, it makes Dick glare at him. Who does he think he is by telling Dick what he can and can’t do…

“The fact that you’re speaking your thoughts out loud tells me enough Dick. I have no idea how much you have drunk but you’re done.” The younger man pauses, giving the elder a once over with a concerned gaze. “What is going on with you? First the sparring and now the excessive drinking. This isn’t you Dick.”

Dick bristles at the comments. He doesn't have to explain himself. “How’d you find me?” He asks instead. Jason’s come along and ruined his peaceful drinking.

Jason says something but it’s lost to Dick as suddenly two Jason’s appear before him, he blinks several times wondering when Jason got a twin until they merge together and Dick is staring at the one and only Jason Todd once again.

“Jesus christ you’re in a state. C’mon, we’re getting out of here.”

Dick loses track of time once again because all of a sudden he finds himself being manhandled out of the bar and into an alleyway outside the building. Dick makes an aggravated sound, which sounds more like a whine, and tries to shove Jason off of him.

“Piss off…”

Jason’s hold on him is strong and with Dick’s feeble attempts to get rid of him he isn’t going anywhere.

“Why do you care?” Dick abruptly shouts. “You didn’t earlier! What do you want?”

The younger man stops and turns to face Dick with an unreadable expression on his face. “I do care Dick, I always have done even if I’m not the best at showing it. Right now we’re not having this conversation until you’re sober, rested, and in a better frame of mind because there is something serious going on with you. You never act like this.”

Dick groans at his words. “Well perhaps you don’t really know me!”

Jason narrows his eyes at Dick with suspicion. “Whatever feelings you are trying to bury, getting black out drunk isn’t going to help.”

“It helps for a while,” Dick points out before continuing on, “what do you suggest I do then? Go around killing criminals and shoving their heads into a duffle bag? ‘Cause that sounds much better doesn’t it.”

It goes dead silent between them. Dick blinks waiting for Jason’s response as Jason simply stares back at him in clear shock. Several beats go by before either man speaks up again.

Jason grits his teeth and clenches his fists. “That was uncalled for and I have no response to that. But-”

Whatever else Jason was going to say it’s lost to Dick because out of nowhere his stomach lurches and he bends over to throw up all over the floor, the excessive amount of alcohol he drank earlier making a reappearance.

When he gets a moment to breathe he slumps down to the floor, his legs no longer having the strength to keep him upright, and he leans back against the wall next to his disgusting smelling vomit.

After that the tears start and Dick just feels like shit. He doesn't know why he’s now crying, it’s probably to do with how his emotions are currently all over the place. His head hurts. His stomach hurts. There’s a disgusting feeling in his mouth.

He doesn't know how much time passes once he’s on the floor. Everything blends together and Dick wishes he would simply pass out or something, he just wants the day to finally end, for this pain to finally stop.

A gentle voice and a soft hand touching his cheek breaks Dick out of the spell he had fallen into. He startles at the touch and has to breathe deeply so he doesn’t throw up again.

“Easy Dick it’s just me. I’m here buddy. God what’s going on pal, what have you done to yourself?”

Knowing the voice but not yet registering who it is Dick pulls a face, he blinks and looks up and is surprised to find his best friend crouching beside him. His unruly ginger hair standing out against the dark of the night, his freckled face frowning in concern.

“Wally?”

“You with me bud?”

Reaching out to touch him, Wally sees the movement and gently grasps Dick’s hand with his own.

“Why are you here?” Then out the blue Dick remembers something and guilt instantly builds up inside him. “Shouldn’t you be out with Linda? Why are you here?”

Wally cups his face and squeezes his hand, pinning Dick with a determined look. “I’m right where I need to be. My best friend is struggling and I’m here for him.”

“How…” Dick doesn't finish the question as Wally shakes his head.

“It doesn’t matter. Now c’mon lets get you home and into bed. We can talk about it tomorrow.”

Unlike with Jason, this time Dick goes willingly and easily. Wally hauls him up to his feet and makes sure to steady him once up right, throwing an arm around his waist and placing Dick’s arm over his shoulders.

As they start making their way out of the alley Wally speaks lowly to him. “I know what today is bud, I know why you've done what you have to cope with it. I’m not saying it’s okay, Jason’s told me what occurred, but I’m saying I understand. We’ll talk more about it tomorrow but you should have known you could have called me. I know Bruce isn’t around as he usually is on this date, I’m sorry you felt like you had to deal with this alone.”

There’s no judgment in his voice and his words make Dick tear up. Unable to control himself the tears start streaming down his face and a choked sob breaks out of his throat. “I’m sorry… I don’t… I just couldn’t – I’m sorry.”

Wally lets him cry out his emotions, not that Dick could do anything else but, and together they make the slow walk back to Dick’s safehouse together.

His head is pounding and even in his drunken state he knows he’s going to wake up the next morning rough, and it won’t be just from a hangover but also from the onslaught of emotions he’s experiences that day.

In only a way a best friend can, Wally helps to distract Dick from his thoughts and when they eventually make it to his safehouse he helps him get ready for bed. Their years of friendship means this kind of situation is no longer embarrassing but instead is comfortable, they’ve seen each other in all kinds of states at this point, this nothing to them (although the context behind the situation is a cause for concern).

Thankfully once Dick is settled in bed he’s out like a light and Wally stays behind making sure he’s okay and safe even long after he’s fallen asleep. The speedster makes a plan for the following morning to broach the sensitive topic of what made Dick go into a self-destructive mode for the day and how they can deal with it afterwards. It’ll be a long conversation but by now they’ve had many of them, Wally will be the support Dick clearly needs and hopefully a day like that day won’t happen again in the future.

#dick grayson #jason todd #wally west #angst #emotional hurt/comfort #drinking #unhealthy coping mechanisms #drunk Dick #good sibling jason #good friend wally #implied self harm #self harm in the form of sparring #badthingshappenbingo #Bad Things Happen Bingo #fanfiction #dc comics #batfam #grieving

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

Had this Headcannon that when Multi-Lingual Dick and Jason get drunk they start singing Ballads in Spanish. Yeah some classical shit like Vicente Fernandez but also the most wild Selena you've ever heard.

#is this a post about Latinx Jason todd? Bitch it might be #Don't ask me about it tho cuz I'll deny it to my core #I imagine jason drunk off his ass belting No Me Queda Mas like he fuckin wrote the song #Dick's got Como la Flor Energy but he has ugly Sobbed NMQS too #they are so infamous for their drunk spanish ballads that they actually rub off on TIm #imagine young justice suprise when the whitest kid you've ever seen wasted on 7/11 liquor is hiccuping his way through a selena song #worst accent you've ever heard sounds like a dog from New Jersey learning to bark and yet the emotion is kinda on point #TIm denies it #refuses to believe he has ever done it #Dick and Jason get a copy of the video and someone edits a mash up of all three of them warble singing that banger #anyway this was a nothing post of nothing I made for myself #fr just for me #DC #Batman #Batfam #Jason todd #Tim drake #Dick Grayson

[manufactured-pleasantry]

Drunk Bruce crying hysterically: Baby, Baby where are you? I miss you, Baby Alfred, sighing: Let's get you to bed, Master Bruce Bruce: Noooo, I need my baby. Alfred, I need my babies Alfred: Children, would you please assist me in getting your father into bed? Bruce, perks up: My babies are here? Batboys, just standing there:🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ Dick: ...um, Bruce? Are you drunk? Bruce, beams: Dickie! Baby, I missed you so much! *gives Dick a bear hug* Dick, laughing: I'm baby? Bruce, nodding: Baby, I'm so proud of you. You became such a good man but you never come home anymore. *cries harder* Dick: I visit at least once a week! Jason, smirking: Shame on you Goldie, you just made the old man cry! Dick: *splutters* Bruce: Jay! *hugs him* Baby, I love you so much. Did I ever tell you how much I love you? Jason, blushing: You stink of alcohol, Old Man. How much did you drink tonight? Bruce: I don't know? Diana gave me some of her amazonian wine and it was soooo good Jason: You went to a drinking party with Wonder Woman and you didn't invite me?! Bruce: Clark and Diana ambushed me. I can organise another party with Diana if that's what you want, baby Jason: Stop calling me baby! Bruce, cries and hugs Jason harder: Alfred, my baby doesn't want to be my baby anymore! Dick: Who's making Bruce cry now, Little Wing? Tim: Shame on you, Jason Damian: Tt, Todd, how could you do that to Father? Bruce hugs Tim and Damian, sobbing: Baby! Are the both of you still my babies? Tim: Uh, sure, Bruce Damian: I will accept the endearment considering you are currently impaired, Father Bruce: Baby, you're so small. Tiny. Miniature. My sweet precious little babies. Damian: Father, Drake may be short for his age, but I am still growing

Bruce, kisses Damian's forehead: Of course, Dami. I love you, baby Bruce, kisses Tim's forehead: I love you, Timmy Bruce, kisses Dick's forehead: I love you, Dickie Bruce, kisses Jason's forehead: I love you, Jaylad Bruce, kisses Alfred's forehead: I love you, dad Alfred, eyes tearing up: I love you too, son. Let's get you to bed now, alright? Bruce, sobbing: Alfie, my babies didn't say they love me back. They don't love me Dick, hugs Bruce: Aw, Bruce, I love you too. You should get drunk more often Tim: I love you too, Bruce Damian: I love you, Father [Everyone looks to Jason expectantly] Jason, grumbling: I love you too, Old Man Bruce, still crying: My babies love me back. Dad, my babies love me Alfred: Yes, they do, Master Bruce. We all do. Now, for the last time, would you go to bed? Bruce: If you tuck me in Alfred: Of course, lad [Babs, Cass and Steph are at a girl's night out and laughing their asses off at the security footage. It's excellent blackmail and teasing material]

#drunk bruce wayne #bruce wayne #batman #batfam #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #alfred pennyworth

[voxmilia]

"I thought he was cute! That bitch! I'm gonna kill him!" "You didn't see the storm coming? Must not be a very good Oracle."

fhjy ep 6 vs fhjy ep 17 aka Brennan took a very cute scene and decided to break my heart with it eleven weeks later

#fantasy high #fhjy #d20 #fhjy spoilers #d20 spoilers #adaine abernant #adaine o'shaughnessey #oisin hakinvar #oisaine #inkblade #how we doin oisaine/inkblade fam #enemies to lovers potential after she thoroughly kicks his ass #i just needed to contrast drunk happy silly adaine vs disappointed adaine #pov your first crush is a rage affected dick and you can fix him by punching him with the spell that killed your dad #mine: photosets #mine: edits #not really an edit but idk what other tag to use #christina.txt

[merakiui]

texts i think the twst cast would send with the help of liquid courage. some of them don't even need liquid courage, but it is silly to imagine a drunk text from them anyway.

warning: some of these lines are excessively cheesy and also nsfw.

riddle - i want to study you like you're my notes and do you like you're my homework.

trey - are you a pastry because i'd like to fill you. ;)

cater - heeeyyy heeyyy wanna be more than /j? ;D we can be /srs instead. <3

ace - i'm in love with you.

deuce - can i take you out? on a date. not to kill you. i would never. you're really cool and i think we should go out like best buds do. you and me together. a date. for best buds. a best buds date.

leona - bed's empty. come warm it. don't make me wait.

ruggie - starving rn. lemme feast between your legs.

jack - can we be lifelong mates?

azul - you must be my glasses because i can't see clearly without you.

jade - mushrooms double in size every day. may i show you a special species that does the same whenever i look at you? :)

floyd - life's hard. essay's hard. dick's hard. :/

kalim - just so you know, i don't need to use oasis maker on you to get you soaked. :3

jamil - you'd look pretty wearing a collar with my name on it.

vil - you would look very beautiful tangled in my sheets. shall we make this opinion of mine a fact tonight?

rook - let me inside, mon amour. in more ways than one, of course. <3

epel - you're the apple of my eye... (the follow-up text: that was so corny. can we just fuck instead?)

idia - jk but not rly but jk wannawatchthisnewshowtogetherinmyroomjustthetwoofuspleasesayyes

malleus - child of man, allow me to bestow upon you a most glorious gift: my surname.

lilia - if you'll allow it, i would love nothing more than to give you a delightful green gown.

silver - would you be willing to sleep beside me tonight? i'd like to meet you in my dreams.

sebek - HUMAN. YOU ARE OKAY.......FOR A HUMAN. VERY OKAY. YES.

rollo - i yearn to kiss you and taste sweetness on your lips, and in return you can taste the sin on mine.

neige - you're really so cute!!! i wanna be more than friends. :D keep this a secret, though. don't tell (name)!

che'nya - you're purrfect in everything, but nothing is nyat bad either. lemme come over and prove it. ;3c

fellow - are you in the market for a husband? i know a great candidate. i'll introduce you free of charge! it's on me! (the follow-up when you ask if it's him: no, i'm talking about hellow fonest.)

#meraki mumbles #have fun backpedaling on that one ace #unsolicited dick pics from jade when he's stupid-drunk/high >>>>>>>>

[actressonastage]

“The world has no right to my heart, the world has no place in our bed, they don’t get to know what I said…”

Ever. Ever in a million years you fucking asshole.

You don’t get to be in my bed begging me to let you put a baby in me and make me your wife one night then not expect me to go insane with your idea that I’m useless the next day.

(You’re also an idiot if you think I believe you when you say you don’t remember).

I hope that you burn.

#burn #Hamilton #fuck you #stay out of my life #compulsive liar #liar #drunk dick #drunk truths

[somecunttookmyurl]

if you want actual like on god for real actually exist you can see the papyri/tablets very incredibly cute egyptian letters absolutely go read translations of the amarna letters between king amenhotep III and his absolute bestest best friend in the whole wide world king tushratta of mitanni

#an fyi before you do: egyptians said 'i love you' and were very dramatic about it VERY freely #this isnt a 'haha they were SUUUHC GOOD FRIEEEEEEEENDS' moment egyptians were just like that #amenhotep was INCREDIBLY drunk on loving his wife juice to the extent his secondary wives were merely ceremonial positions #by all accounts he was monogamous and incredibly cute about his (commoner) wife #but he and tushratta referred to eachother as brothers and tush was DEVESTATED when amenhotep died #and wrote to queen tiye saying that he would love his son (amenhotep IV aka akhenaten) as if he were amenhotep III #because his best friend lived on in his son #and was basically like 'my son now i love him so much btw' #and then akhenaten completely fucked it by leaving him on read forever which is so sad and also biggest dick move #akhenaten apologists dont interact

[p0ssym1lker]

Tim and Jason about to make brucie wayne look like a genius: this is all for you

Dick, who was caught with starfire and needed someone to take the spotlight: I love you

#tim acted drunk #he was caught making out with a guy kn the closet #then loudly said “now why am I being forced out of the closet” #and then asked 8 people wheteve water is blue or purple because “it cant be clear but i cant remember colors” #jason went full himbo #glorious #dc #tim drake #batman #jason todd #tim drake wayne #dc red robin #red robin #dick grayson #nightwing #richard grayson #dc red hood #red hood #brucie wayne

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

Damian has learned many things since joining the family. He's found joy in Gotham even fighting Rouges and stopping crime he's made more happy memories here than he did while in the league.

Although he will always love his mother and be grateful for everything she has taught him many of those skills have been retired and he can't say he's partically angry about it.

What he's truly enjoyed most is his family Father and Richard, even Todd when he cooks and lets him sketch the alley cats that frequent his terrace.

'So Baby Bat guessing you weren't invited to the brother meeting tonight".

-

The pencil rolls hitting the floor. Jason was half paying attention more focused on the pasta he's stirring.

"I don't understand, what do you mean by that Todd"

Now Jason knows he's not exactly kept up to date on all the family's lovely adventures. But he can't place why Damian's voice is shaking.

Or why his little brother seems so hurt a part of him wants to scoop him up and wrestle his problems back to wherever hell they came from. But something stops him.

"I figured you were here cause of Dickbird and Timmy aren't you" he says carefully.

" Why would Drake and Richard have anything to do with my presence here." He spits, pausing.

"Are they together, Richard said he had something important to do and why would that be with Drake."

"Shit Dami sorry I must have made a mistake on the day it's the 16th not the 23rd my bad. The thing with Timmy is next week photography or something."

"Idiotic as ever Todd I will go back to my drawing now."

Jason would feel more offended at the blatant dismissal if he hasn't just lied.

Because Baby Brothers shouldn't be told that they aren't Dickie birds little Robin always.

That Dick is taking Tim on their weekly getaway to gone only knows where. That always seems to end with blood and death.

That their eldest brother is more fucked up then all of them combined and that only one is trusted enough to see what that means.

That as kind as Dick and even Tim can be they aren't always like that. There angry, vengeful, sadistic little shits that burn as much as they warm.

How's do you explain to the kid who's thinks the sun shines out of someone's ass that they are off galivanting with the favorite brother.

That the kid got off lucky for trying to kill the golden apple.

You don't.

You make food and watch him sketch the cat who's seen almost as many fights at Jason himself.

Ingnore your own twisted jealousy and pretend you wouldn't cut off your own arm if replacement asked.

Because only one Bat is unaware of who's the deadlist of who is lurking in the shadows weaving.

It's not Jason's place and more importantly he can't destroy the very pedestal that Jason still worships.

"Come on Dami, stop bugging the fucking cat and come eat."

Who's he to explain about the brothers who would put each other above all others even their own.

How do you explain that if you weren't practically the son of the last flying Grayson you would be another hidden name on a list more guarded than Bruce's emotions and that you would be rotting six feet under dead at the hands of your beloved Richard.

#tim drake #batfamily #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #bruce wayne #batfam #bamf tim drake #bamf batfamily #Damian is Dicks son not his Brother #Jason is scared of both Dick and Tim #he should be #Dick and Tim are killing assassins #no one is invited to the party and Jason only knows cause he gets Drunk dialed

[raeofgayshine]

Bruce Wayne, drunk and full on Brucie mood in the middle of a gala: You know, that accent doesn’t really fit in around here. It’s cute. Where are you from?

Clark, internally debating every life choice that led him to this moment: I’m from Smallville. Kansas.

Bruce, leaning closer to Clark with a flirty smile: Oh you’re cute and funny. You know, I like that in a man.

Clark, very confused but trying to just go along with it: Thank you??

Bruce: I mean, everyone knows that Kansas isn’t real but I do always enjoy a good laugh.

Clark: What.

Bruce: What? Everyone knows that Kansas was made up for Wizard of Oz.

Clark, unsure if Bruce is fucking with him or if he’s just really deep into this dumb act: Bruce, Kansas is a real place. It’s one of the 50 states that make up America.

Bruce, tilting his head a little confused: There’s 50 states? Since when?

#ravenpuff rambles #bruce wayne #Clark Kent #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #superbat #if you want to read it like that I mean Bruce is definitely flirting with Clark #and annoying him at the same time but really that’s just their relationship #anyways shout out to my sister who texted me ‘You think Bruce pretends Kansas isn’t real to annoy Clark?’ #haven’t been able to stop thinking about that since then #The thing is Bruce absolutely went into this as just a way to fuck with Clark but he got drunk and maybe leaned in a bit too hard #and then the next thing he knows he’s waking up to the news story ‘Bruce Wayne shocked to find out Kansas is real’ #*cuts to video of a distraught Bruce looking at Clark’s phone where Clark has a map of the US up* #‘See there’s Kansas’ #Bruce: ‘My whole life has been a lie?’ *looks to the camera* ‘Dick Dick did you know that Kansas was *real*’ #Dick snickering: ‘Yeah B they taught us that in school’ #Bruce: ‘Why didn’t anyone tell me?’ #His kids never fucking let him live it down nor do any of them believe Bruce when he tries to defend himself and say he knew Kansas was real #all along. They just pat his arm and go ‘Sure you did B’ #Brucie Wayne my beloved himbo of a man

[superbat-lmao]

Jason: Roy was up for over 72 hours and last night I caught him trying to torch our marriage certificate.

Dick: What? Why?

Roy: Good luck returning me without the receipt, Jaybird!

#jason todd #roy harper #dick grayson #redhood #arsenal #jayroy #the original joke is that one of them is drunk and tries to burn the certificate #but no alcohol for these two #sleep deprivation it is

[the-atlas-sister]

ᴅʀᴜɴᴋ (Older!Damian Wayne x Older!Reader)

Warnings!: drinking, vulgar language, hungover behavior

You didn't intend to get hammered while attending your boyfriend's birthday party, but here you were.

After hearing comment after comment from Damian's rich friends about how you weren't good enough or their snide comments on your status or figure, you just decided, fuck it.

"Ahaha, I think you've had enough," Jonathan said, pulling the glass from your hands. He was the one friend of Damian's that hadn't be verbally ridiculing you throughout the night.

"Noooo, Johnny," you whined, reaching for the glass as he held it farther from you. "Please, I just need one more." You're eyes widened as a waiter walked by the two of you with a whole new tray of drinks. "Or five." You grinned like a madman as you grabbed another glass.

"Okay, y/n, y/n."

"Hm?" Your eyes followed Jonathan as he snapped his fingers. He laughed nervously at your state.

"You just turned 21, you need to stop drinking," he said, smiling awkwardly at your flushed drunk cheeks. "Especially because if you don't Damian might blame me and kill me," he added, pulling your tenth or so drink from your hands.

"Johnny, you're like, Superman," you not-so-whispered, leaning forward for emphasize.

"OH HO HO- yep, that's enough," Jonathan said loudly, sweat beginning to bead on his brow at your words. "We're just saying things now, huh?" Due to his panic he didn't notice you snatch the drinks from his grasp. "Y/n please," he sighed as you downed both drinks.

"Dude, it's good," you slurred, leaning on the boy. "I'm good bro."

"I do not think you're not so forgiving boyfriend would agree," Jonathan said, wrapping an arm around you gently. You felt comfortable, like he was protecting you. "Shot, speaking of which-"

"Dami!" you cheered, noticing your seething boyfriend approaching the two of you. "Hi baby," you slurred, pulling yourself from Jonathan and leaning on Damian.

"What the hell is wrong with her, Kent?" he hissed, holding you close. His question was quickly answered although as the smell of alcohol hit his nose. "Have you been drinking?" He looked down at your flushed face.

"So much!" you said, emphasizing every word. "Did you know, that if you drink, the voices of every single asshole in here, just kind of... floats away? Why did you even hang out with them?"

"Because they're not friends, they are business partners, darling," Damian answered, looking down at you with worried filled eyes. "Just ignore them."

You pouted at him before looking around. Even in your drunk state, you could see the looks the rest of the guests were giving you.

"You know what, I gotta say something," you slurred, pushing away from Damian.

"Wait, no," Jonathan began.

"Y/n, darling, there is nothing you need to say-"

"Hey, all of you!" you yelled, stumbling to the center of the room. You felt your face hear up as everyones eyes landed on your figure. "I don't give a shit what any of you say! I love this man!" You pointed a shaky finger at Damian, making him look at the ground and place a hand on his forehead. "Happy birthday baby! I love the way your nose crinkles all grumpy-like when you pout. I love how beautiful your paintings look and how much you care about animals. I love the way your beautiful eyes sparkle when you smile. I love how you look when you're focused, how your eyebrows crinkle and you hunch over, despite how much you bother me about my posture. I love how hot you look when you smirk and how good you fuck me-"

"OKAY!" Damian interrupted, rushing towards you. He grabbed your hand and pulled you away from the ground.

"He fucks me so good!" you called as you were pulled through the halls of Wayne manor. "Dami, where are we going?" you asked as you noticed the change of setting.

"You're going to bed," Damian said, his face a deep red.

"Nooooo," you whined, watching as your boyfriend pulled you into his lavish bedroom. "Please, noooo. I want to go back to the party."

"You don't need to go back to the party," Damian stated, sitting you down onto his bed.

You watched in your druken state as he gently pulled off your shoes, holding your legs softly as he did. You stared at him as if in some sort of trance, falling deeper in love as he treated you with so much love and care.

"You treat me so well," you cooed as he put you shoes aside. "I love you so much." You allowed the man to rest you against the plush pillows of his bed.

"I love you too, beloved," Damian said, placing a chaste kiss on his forehead. "Now get some sleep."

***

"Holy shit," you groaned, sitting up within a bed you didn't recognize.

"Good morning beloved," Damian's voice chimed through the air.

"Shhhhhhh," you said, throwing the covers back over your head. "Too loud." Damian chuckled slightly and you felt the bed lower as he sat down. "What happened last night?"

"You don't remember?" Damian asked, pulling away the cover gently. He handed you a large cup of water, which you reluctantly took.

"Oh god, what did I do?" you groaned, holding your head in your free hand.

"You may have announced how well I make love to you in front of my family, friends and business partners," Damian stated.

"Oh god, oh god sweetie," you said, throwing your head back. "I'm so sorry, you must be so upset with me."

"Oh very, but that's something for after you’re no longer hungover," Damian said, kissing the side of your neck lovingly.

"You treat me too well."

"I know beloved."

#damian wayne #dick grayson #batman #tim drake #jason todd #bruce wayne #damian x reader #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne imagine #damian #damian al ghul #drunk #drinking #alcohol #jonathan kent #jonathan kent x reader #love #hungover #batfamily #batfam #21+ only

[fairy-hub]

I love snorting ketamine (powder horse tranquilizer) if you snort the right amount it makes you feel very relaxed and kind of heavy. Straight up melting into the sofa just feeling good and tingly for the next 30 minutes while it wears off.

Think about snorting ketamine with dealer!suguru/toji, getting high laying on their bed. While they feel you up, it’s not like you can move very much so their princess is gonna have to let them eat your pussy out for the next ten minutes. Between the tingly pleasurable high and their warm tongue on your clit, their thick fingers rubbing on your g-spot ughh

They would love getting you high, they love how much you trust them and how vulnerable you are laying on their bed looking beautiful, getting needier the higher you get

#while I’m high rn I’m not high off ketamine sadly #I’ve taken quiet a few drugs especially in my early 20s #so if y’all are interested in high sex fics im all for it #I love ecstasy so hmmm the fics I can write with the jjk men high as shit being so needy and pussy drunk #speaking from experience their dick will keep getting hard again and again #3 hour minutes maybe 5 hours #gojo seems like the tupe to get fixated for a while and will #keep going for as long as you let him

[hellenhighwater]

you have a delightful way with words!

Thanks! I'm what happens when two people who spin words for a living spawn, and then that larva spends the majority of her developmental years unattended in a library instead of properly socializing! It might make for fun reading but this is how I actually talk pretty much always, and I have nothing but pity for the unfortunate innocents who get stuck in conversation with me. My average sentence starts with too many syllables and then gets sidetracked into a deranged cacophony of mangled similes and malaphor.

And if it's a nightmare to spit out a digestible sentence when I'm sober, it is far worse when I'm drunk. You can tell I've had a few too many because I start talking like I'm really reaching for that scrabble high score.

The problem is that some corner of my brain decided that It Is Forbidden To Use An Important Word Twice In The Same Paragraph and now I just wind up using increasingly contrived synonyms because my mind will try to backspace out if I don't. I cannot stop myself, I can only hoard increasingly esoteric vocabulary until nothing I say makes any sense at all.

I hope you are having fun. Thank you for the compliment.

#i am endlessly trying to not sound like a pretentious dick but I also dont actually have a great baseline for how to not talk like this #because a significant majority of my family also talks...well not like this but certainly weirdly #can i do the alphabet backwords? no probably not but drunk me can spell words youve never heard of babey #i have gotten shit for this repeatedly from fellow shitfaced people

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

The Bar

Dick looked over as a familiar face loomed over his table. Tall and built, one would think he was he bouncer instead of the bartender if it weren’t for towel around his neck.

It was hard to ignore the almost disappointed look Danny sent his way each night.

It was reminiscent of Alfred in a way, so sad. It made Dick grimace as he downed his last shot.

“You know, you only got one liver in there Dick? As much as I love the amount of dollars you throw my way, this isn’t healthy.”

“Real subtle, Danzzo.. real subtle. Can I get a refill?”

Danny threw down his towel.

“No.”

“No?”

“Dick.. it a quarter till four.. the bar closed down like three hours ago.”

Dick glanced at the clock on the wall, the hands danced as he tried to read the time to the point that he had to give up before his head split.

“Shit.. I guess it is. Sorry about that man I must’ve dosed for a bit.”

Danny sighed as he sat down beside him.

Uh oh, time for the weekly spiel.

“Richard.. look at me. I’m worried here, and this is coming from a guy who’s whole job is to feed people’s addictions. This is getting out of hand.. you’re getting out of hand. How often do we have this talk? How often do I have to stay up just so I can be sure that you are at least sober enough that I can send you home without worrying that the next time I hear about you is on an obituary?”

Danny sighed as he pulled at his hair,

“This used to be a once or twice a month thing man! You would come in, drink and shoot the shit about work and the family. I know ever since the.. accident. Life has been hard to process. Heaven forbid anyone who has to go through that.”

“let me grieve in fucking peace..”

“THIS ISN’T GRIEVING! This is drowning out your emotions so that you don’t have to feel and one of these days you’re not going to get back up and I-”

Danny took a second to center himself and Dick almost felt sad when he did.

Sometimes it felt like Danny was the only person who gave a shit anymore.

Dick scoffed at the thought as he fiddled with the empty shot, he tried to not let the guilt set in.

It was always this same song and dance. Yet Danny didn’t even have the nerve to say it to his face.

“I’m just saying that Jason wouldn’t want you to join him so soon man. “

Danny’s eyes finally left that place that they always seemed to focus on over his shoulder before he pinned Dick with a look of pity.

“Trust me, I would probably know more than you think..”

#dp x dc #writing prompt #danny fenton #danny phantom #batman #jason todd #dc x dp #dick grayson #ghost!jason #bartender!danny #drunk!dick #tw: alcohol #tw: depressive thoughts #tw: addiction #tw: dead mention #i’m sorry #i do not know #where this came from but here it is #bartender #alfred pennyworth #mentioned #platonic #dick is going through some shit man #I took a nap after work and my brain chose violence #now you get the sad feels too

[brucewaynehater101]

Read a fanfic a while ago where Red Robin gets Surgeoned by (OC? Canon? Idk) the villain The Surgeon to have wings that are hinted to work

Now imagine this; Everybody in the Batfamily has bat and bird wings and bat and bird instincts, minutes the token human Timmy

And Tim suddenly has wings thanks to a villain Playing Doctor + God and the Batfamily's bat/bird brains are going crazy going stupid because one of their flock members has wings now!!

Except Tim got wings, and nothing more.

Tim doesn't have the instincts to act as a bird should, he can act, he can pretend, but it can only go so far

He doesn't have any other traits of a bird person, be it Talons, feather sin his hair, natural chirping, etc

He can register that hey, his wings will need to preened but his subconscious doesn't register the gravity unhealthy wings can have

Furthermore energy and blood flow and more has to go into maintaining those wings like he rest of his body. The Surgeon gave him wings and wings only, no other modifications.

Tim's body is only equipped to maintain a human body not a human body with wings

He has to eat for more body mass and feathers and bird bones than his body is made for and—

Yeah Tim is not having a good time and nor is the rest of the family

There's probably ideas I've missed

Feel free but not pressured to expands/explore/etc with this idea as you wish

Hmm... All of the batfam members? I do think it could be interesting if Alfred was human too. This could be a representation of the emotional disconnect he often displayed throughout Bruce's childhood. Not only does Alfred employ a professional distance between him and his charge, but he doesn't understand the instincts (and overwhelming needs).

Besides that, this is a super interesting concept! I love the idea that the instincts the Bats have support their ability to take care of themselves and their wings. I bet finding flock members is part of that end goal. I'm also curious about the dynamics pre-wing transition.

So Tim, as the token human, has never felt any of the flock needs that the others do. Since he's human, would their instinct be similar to a human's adoption tendencies for cute animals? Would Tim treat it as a cultural difference? Like, Tim gets invited to cuddle in the nest, something he doesn't feel the need for and has never done himself, so he politely declines at first. From what he knows (and has researched about hybrid cultural needs, behaviors, traditions, etc.), this is a ritual done with close loved ones.

When does he get invited to the first one, and who invites him? I don't see Bruce, who is at first pushing Tim away, as the one to invite him. Because it is such an intimate moment, it would take Dick awhile too. Even if he saw Tim as a brother, the difference in species, instincts, the grief of just losing a brother, and living in a different city (meaning less quality time over a period of time) probably combined to Dick needing a while before his bird brain could allow it.

I like to imagine maybe Cass, who has less notions about safe flock connections (aka not imprinting on people immediately), saw Tim and immediately invited him to the nest. It's a small point of contention for Dick cause he's been trying the entire time to work up to it (by combing Tim's hair, offering him small gifts, showing his back [a lot to the point Tim becomes concerned] to the younger one, and offering customary greetings in chirps). Dick has been putting in the effort, and then Cass's instincts immediately grab onto Tim.

Tim being human could also explain some of the tension between him with Damian and Jason. Bruce was already breaking some of the typical hybrid standards of conduct by mixing hybrid of different types (prey birds, bats, predator birds, etc.). Then Bruce just throws in a human and claims he's flock despite him not having the instincts at all.

I also love the symbolism of Tim being considered an outskirts member (as maybe not truly apart of the family) until right before he gets his wings. I think we can tie Jason into this as well (like maybe his death fucked with his wings and/or instincts. As he slowly gets integrated into the flock again, he starts to heal or get those instincts back).

Basically, everything is settling down with the batfam dynamics. Then Tim gets his wings.

It's symbolic of him finally feeling accepted in the family, but it also fucks him over. The others see him as a hybrid, their instincts are desperately reaching out, and they unintentionally feel hurt because Tim doesn't reciprocate. Tim is trying, by the gods is he trying to deal with everything new, but he just doesn't have those instincts.

Thus, the family has to rework through their dynamics as the hybrids battle their instincts and Tim has a mental breakdown about his identity.

#dc comics #dc universe #tim drake #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #alfred pennyworth #thank you for the ask!!!! #sorry it took so long I was drunk and sleep deprived when I received it and couldn't give it the attention it deserved #this concept is really cool too!