#dont mind me just out here being a fucking nerd about this interest

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Connection: Remus

Read on Ao3

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Pairings: FINALLY DLAMP

Word Count: 2492

rem.ix added Emo.Ticon, LogicalLogan, MisterJ, and pat.pat to a conversation

rem.ix renamed the conversation to "Roman's Harem"

Emo.Ticon: FGAHKRTNOEUTBWOJET

LogicalLogan: When I asked for a list of the people who had also asked Roman out for dinner, this was not what I had in mind.

MisterJ: Nice to meet my competition.

pat.pat: Wait, is rem.ix Remus???

rem.ix: yep thats me whats up fuckers welcome to your collective interrogation

Emo.Ticon: aren't you in highschool kid? wait, how'd you get our usernames?

rem.ix: asked ro he gave em to me

LogicalLogan: Does he know you're doing this?

MisterJ: Are we about to get the shovel talk from a high school kid?

rem.ix: youre about to get a shovel talk from the only person in ros life who can ensure hell never talk to you again so shut up

Emo.Ticon: damn, kid

pat.pat: *Listens attentively*

LogicalLogan: Understood, Remus. What can we do for you?

rem.ix: first off role call explain who you are and how you know ro

rem.ix: i know all of it so dont lie

pat.pat: I'm Patton!!! We wait for the bus together in the morning, that's how we met.

Emo.Ticon: wait that's actually really cute wtf

LogicalLogan: My name is Logan, though you might have been able to guess that from my username. Roman and I share a calculus class and we study together.

Emo.Ticon: Virgil. Barista at the coffee shop on campus. Also a student. Princey comes in on my shifts all the time.

pat.pat: Wait, 'Princey?'

MisterJ: That's actually a pretty cute nickname. Also why did you switch to proper capitalization just for that one?

Emo.Ticon: what can i say, it's a gift. also shh

MisterJ: I'm Janus. I see Roman at the library.

LogicalLogan: Janus as in the god with two faces?

MisterJ: Yes, that's correct.

rem.ix: great now you all know each other and you all know that youre each into ro

pat.pat: Wait, Virgil, is your hair purple? I think we've met before!!!

Emo.Ticon: oh wait shit yeah you're the one with those big round glasses, right? yeah we've met hey what's up

rem.ix: wait thats a good idea everybody send a pic of yourself

LogicalLogan: Why?

rem.ix: in case you know eachother duh

pat.pat sent an image

Emo.Ticon sent an image

LogicalLogan sent an image

pat.pat: Wait, I know Logan too!! We had the same advisor last year, didn't we?

LogicalLogan: Yes, we did. Hello, it's good to talk to you again. How did your thesis end up going?

rem.ix: focus up nerds one of yous a hold out

MisterJ: I'm trying to find a good one, hold your horses, child.

rem.ix sent an audio file

Emo.Ticon: oh shit you got jeopardy'd

MisterJ sent an image

LogicalLogan: Ah, Janus. Yes, we've met.

MisterJ: Still sore over losing that debate, are we?

LogicalLogan: No, of course not.

Emo.Ticon: wait are you two the ones who shut down the entire lecture hall cause you wouldn't stop arguing

MisterJ: We were debating, Virgil.

pat.pat: I think that's a yes.

rem.ix: all of you focus the point is you all know each other yes or no

Emo.Ticon: ye

LogicalLogan: Yes, I know everyone here.

MisterJ: Yes.

pat.pat: Sorry, Remus. Yeah, I know everyone!

rem.ix: great

rem.ix: now do you all want to date roman yes or no

Emo.Ticon: jfc kid how old are you?

rem.ix: thats not the question emo

LogicalLogan: Yes, I would be interested in forming a romantic relationship with Roman.

pat.pat: I'm happy just being friends with him!! But yeah, I'd want to.

MisterJ: I am dating Roman.

rem.ix: no youre not ro has said hes not dating anyone right now and you guys went out to dinner once

MisterJ: How would you know?

rem.ix: im his fucking brother and he tells me everything and im this close to telling him youre a dick and he can do better

MisterJ: Watch your tone.

rem.ix: i dont have to watch shit

LogicalLogan: Janus, stop antagonizing him.

MisterJ: I'm not antagonizing him, I'm correcting him. Are you all seriously okay with being spoken to like this?

Emo.Ticon: he's not being unreasonable j he's concerned about his brother

pat.pat: I mean, it's not great, but I understand it.

LogicalLogan: We all know how protective Roman is of Remus, it makes sense that the reverse would be true.

MisterJ: I suppose you're right. Still.

rem.ix: look

rem.ix: ro is the most important person in the world to me

rem.ix: i cant remember the last time he just did something for himself and wasnt guilty about how it affected me even if it didnt at all

rem.ix: and he seems to really care about all of you and he likes spending time with you

rem.ix: lately hes been really really stressed about school and work and everything and having all of you is great but hes worried about whatll happen if he picks one of you over the others or if you guys find out about each other

rem.ix: and this is kinda the first thing hes let himself have since he officially got custody of me

rem.ix: so

rem.ix: yeah

LogicalLogan: Thank you for sharing all of that with us, Remus. I understand your concern.

Emo.Ticon: we get it, the last thing we wanna do it make roman's life harder

pat.pat: Aww, that makes complete sense!!! I would be concerned too!!

MisterJ: I get that. I'm sorry if it felt like I wasn't taking you seriously, Remus. You're right, I do care for Roman very deeply and I want to support him as best I can.

rem.ix: sorry if i was being too rude

MisterJ: No hard feelings?

rem.ix: ye we good

Emo.Ticon: wait so is our consensus basically to not get butthurt when roman picks one of us? cause that sounds a bit too ya novel for me

pat.pat: Yeah, that feels weird.

MisterJ: The name of this conversation wouldn't have anything to do with it, would it, Remus?

rem.ix: i mean i dont know if any of you are poly and im not suggesting you all date ro at the same time

rem.ix: unless?

Emo.Ticon: you are 100% exactly like roman described you holy shit

MisterJ: I'm not sure if I agree with that either.

LogicalLogan: I have an idea.

***

Honestly, just watching Roman's face as he walks through the door is enough of a reward for Remus. He almost drops his backpack from shock.

"…Re?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Why are there four extra people in our apartment?"

Remus looks around. Logan and Janus are on the couch, looking over at Roman in the doorway. Patton and Virgil are in the kitchen; Patton's looking in the fridge and Virgil's toying with the blender someone gave them as a housewarming gift that they never used. "You said I could invite people over for a movie night."

"I thought you meant your friends," Roman says quietly and Remus shrugs.

"Your friends are my friends, right?" He looks at the others. "We're friends, right?"

"Sure."

"Yeah, I think so."

"We're friends!"

"That's correct."

"See? All friends. Come help us decide what we're watching, I wanna see the new Puss in Boots, but Janny wants to see that thriller thing."

"It's the next John Wick."

Roman mouths Janny and just blinks. Then he swallows and carefully sets down his backpack, opening the door and jerking his head outside. "Remus, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Yeah, he probably should've seen this coming. He gets up from the table and goes, ducking under Roman's arm out to the hallway. Roman makes sure his keys are in his pocket and calls out a quick One moment, please!

He shuts the door and just slumps against it, breathing hard.

"What's up?"

"Remus, what's going on?"

"We're trying to figure out what movie to watch. I suggested pizza 'cause we don't have enough for a big pasta bake and Patton and Virgil decided they were gonna see if we could make it work, but—"

"Remus."

At his brother's now is not the time to fuck with me voice, he gives in. "Ro, you've been so stressed recently, I know you have."

"And so you thought it would be a good idea to invite all of them over at once? Re, our apartment isn't even clean, we don't have much food left from grocery runs, we—"

"Ro, they care about you! You said you told them all stuff and they still cared—"

"It's one thing to say you care, it's another to actually come see it!" Roman scruffs a hand over his face. "God, Remus, why didn't you ask me?"

"Because I knew you'd say no!"

"Yes! For good reason!" He glances at the door and lowers his voice a bit. "Why did you do this? Are you—is it because I haven't been spending as much time with you because of them? I'm—I'm sorry, Re, I just—"

"What? No, no, that's not it, I—fuck, Ro, sit down before you pass out."

Roman collapses so quickly Remus almost cries out. But he's fine, he's just got his head in his hands. Remus cautiously sits down next to him, their shoulders resting together like they did when they were smaller, like they did in the court room, like they did when they first moved in here. It only takes a second for Roman to sling his arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer.

There's nowhere safer for him to be.

"I didn't invite them over because I wanted to embarrass you," he mumbles, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, "I invited them over because I know you've been stressed about all of them. They—it's not charity, Ro. I know you worry about it 'cause of—well, them—"

"I know."

"—but they really like you, Ro. Like, they all really care about you. And I…I dunno, I just wanted you to see that."

He shifts so he can look up at Roman's face.

"You try and do all of this on your own and you can't. You really can't. I know—I know you try and you do so much and I know you. I know you won't let me help 'cause you want me to be a kid still—"

"You are a kid."

"—but you can't do it on your own! And you're not alone, you've got me, you've got friends—you've got all of us. I wanted you to see that."

Roman looks at him with that expression he gets sometimes where he just looks at him like he loves him so much and it makes Remus's throat close a bit because he does. He really, really does and fuck, Remus loves him too.

"I'm sorry I didn't ask you," he mumbles, looking down, "do you…do you want them to go?"

"No," and shit, Roman's hoarse which means they're both about to start crying, "they…they can stay."

"…I like 'em, Roro. They're good."

A strangled laugh. "Yeah. I like them too."

"Which one's your favorite?"

A louder laugh and Roman squeezes him closer. "You're my favorite. Always will be."

"You don't get a choice with that."

"Yeah, I do," Roman says softly and shitfuck he can feel the tears forming, "and I make it every day. I'll keep making it, too."

"Goddamnit, you're gonna make me cry."

"Join the club, little octopus."

Well, that's a good enough invitation. Remus turns and wraps his arms and legs around his brother, holding him like he'll fall off the world if he lets go. Roman holds him back just as tightly, the top of his head starting to get damp. They both sniffle and try and pull the other closer.

"I love you, Re. So much. Thank you."

"I love you too, Roro."

They sit there for another minute before Roman pulls back and wipes his face. "God. You made me cry and now I've gotta go in there and talk to them? How dare you?"

"It's not my fault you're a sappy sack of shit!"

"Yes, it is!" Roman ruffles his hair. "And you're the one who wants to watch the new Puss in Boots movie, that's all sap, no tree."

"What, so you don't wanna watch it either?"

"I didn't say that."

"Ha!" Remus crows triumphantly, smacking Roman's shoulders lightly as Roman tries to grab him. "I knew it!"

"C'mere, you—" Roman throws him over his shoulder— "there."

"Hey! Put me down!"

"Nope. Wha—hey! Don't pull my hair!"

"Put me down!"

"Fine, fine." The moment Roman sets him on his feet, he almost sweeps him off them again, hugging him so tightly he can't breathe. "I have the best brother in the world."

"No," Remus manages, trying to hold Roman back, "I do."

"Tied for first?"

"Can we order pizza?"

"You got the money for it?"

"Make one of your boyfriends do it."

"They're not my boyfriends!"

"Yet."

"Re!"

"What? Go ask them!"

"No." Roman lets him go, hands on his hips. "We're gonna go inside, pick a movie, and maybe order pizza. Deal?"

"Deal!"

Roman softens a bit, reaching out to ruffle his hair. Remus shakes his head like a wet dog, making it messier on purpose until Roman laughs. He glances at the door and puts the key in the lock, opening it and striding back inside.

"Sorry about that."

"No worries," Logan says, "I think Patton and Virgil have reached a consensus."

"Pizza," Virgil proclaims, clapping his hands, "on account of I'm a lazy college student and I want pizza."

"I got it," Patton says, already pulling out his phone, "Domino's?"

"Yes, we're getting three extra larges."

"Works for me! Toppings: go!"

"Pineapple," Logan says as Janus says, "anything but pineapple."

"Okay, so pineapple on only one pizza, got it."

"Roman," Virgil calls as the others keep bickering, "how'd your meeting go?"

Remus looks up. That's right, Roman had that meeting with the Dean and Board today about the scholarship. Roman takes a deep breath.

"They're letting me keep it," he says breathlessly, "same scholarship, same amount of financial aid, same grades."

Virgil whoops so loudly it makes Remus's ears hurt. Of course, then the others want to know what he's so happy about and then they're celebrating too.

"You pick the movie, then," Janus says, "you've earned it."

Roman pauses, glancing around as if someone's going to object, only to see them all looking at him expectantly. He doesn't seem to know what to do with that. Then he glances at Remus.

See, Remus tries to say silently, you've got people. You're not alone. We're all here for you. See?

The way Roman's smile softens says yes, I see.

"Puss in Boots it is."

"Yes!"

"Great. Janus, help me set it up?"

"Sure."

"Roman, what do you want on your pizza?"

As long as we stick together, Remus thinks as he watches Roman be happier and more at ease than he's seen in a long, long time, we'll all be okay.

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#dragonbabbles #sanders sides #fic #roman sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit

[the1975attheirverybest]

oooooh fav lyrics??? fuck thats hard. i will not explain why because i want to seem somewhat cool still and not like a total fucking nerd (despite having incredibly in depth reasonings)

The 1975 - ok this is Album has some interesting lyrics because its before he had it all figured out and i fucking love it for that, theres so many fucking contenders for fav lyrics (including all of anobrain, antichrist or The city) the entire abum is just so mmmmm. but if i had to pick an absolute fav id say

"I put your mother through hell, don't you mind I hate your brother as well, don't you mind, don't you mind Oh I was thinking bout killing myself, don't you mind I love you, don't you mind, don't you mind"

and i know i know its a verse but it isnt complete otherwise. Plus i have it tattooed on me so i feel like i had to.

I Like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it - once again mmm chefs kiss of an album no skips (theyve never made a bad album) and lyricaly very beautiful, i could absolutely nerd out about all of their catalogue tbh. but for this i am excluding Nana and She lays down because theyre...just perfect, and also i sob.

so it would have to be

"And if I believe you Will that make it stop? If I told you I need you Is that what you want?"

or

"Before you go (please don't go), turn the big light off"

its really easy and tempting to put ballad on here but i think thats because his performance style for it is so visceral and while lyrically its beautiful still i cant imagine myself enjoying them if they were sung by someone else because they need the guts behind it ya know.

A brief enquiry into online relationships - delicious as always matthew thank you this day for our daily bread.

so its either

"I can show you the photographs of you getting on with life I've had dreams where there's blood on you" thank you for referencing the bible matthew very cool.

or

"You build it to a high to say goodbye Because you're not the same as them" because it is like a fucking gut punch

notes on a conditional form - seasoned to perfection. difficult because Guys is on this album and its so sweet but i dont think its my fav lyrically, for no particular reason. same for roadkill although "i pissed myself on a texan intersection" always has a place in my heart.

"I'm in love, but I'm feeling low For I am just a footprint in the snow" did you need to fucking wreck me or is that just for funsies huh?

or

"Don't wanna bore you with my frail state of mind "Oh, winner, winner, that's your biggest lie I'm sure that you're fine" I haven't told a lie in quite some time (Quite some time) "You know we'll leave if you keep lying Don't lie behind your (Frail state of mind)"

Being funny in a foreign language - i take 0 slander for this album because its just as brilliant as the others. so first all of part of the band is fucking art and so im excluding it because it should be all of our favs.

"I've been suicidal, you've been gone for weeks If I'm undecided, will you decide for me?W

and

"'Cause, baby, I'll do anything that you wanna I'll try anything that you wanna I'll find myself in the moonlight 'Cause, baby, I want everything that you wanna And I've tried to just be me, like, a thousand times But you're on my mind"

sorry its so long and i couldnt pick just 1 (not a libra but still indecisive) in order to remain seeming somewhat cool and not a total nerd ive refrained from explaining each choice but yeah.

Welllllll……did you HAVE to bring up “Me” AND “Frail State of Mind”?!? Are you trying to make me cry? Cuz it’s almost working.

It’s weird I’ve always kinda thought of Oh Caroline as some of his simpler writing. Not in a bad way. Like “Me” is simple as well. Simplicity has its time and its place and can be wonderful. And it IS wonderful in Oh Caroline. But I’m a layers girlie, so maybe I haven’t been giving this one much attention *runs to listen to it*

[sieglinde-freud]

For the ask game 3, 6, 7, 15 :)

omg hi stedy!! 💙 putting under read more again cuz it got long whos surprised

3. What’s a female character you look up to?

kind of embarrassing but elle woods lmfao. i dont talk too much about myself outside of liking video games but generally speaking i really likes presenting pretty girlish and feminine, and where i live it gets me a lot of grief and people looking down on me. so seeing someone like her who is sooo unabashedly pink and pretty and going to fucking harvard law changed something in me. because i absolutely did have a ‘not like other girls’ phase as a kid but characters like her helped me out of that. realistically as an adult i can see its different for me than her, given shes a rich white woman whos also not real, but still! shes very dear to me. when i was thinking of other characters to put here my other thought was maribelle fire emblem so can you guess i have a type?

6. A female character who got done dirty by the narrative?

celica fire emblem in echoes specifically. i didnt play gaiden because i dont hate myself but i dont know the differences in plot. but in echoes its just like. i love conrad but why is he here? so he can take the spotlight away from celica and solve her problems when she was just fine without him in then original! and then alm has to come save her, and then guess who gets the cool final hit animation at the end of their dual narrative? not her! its like. man. what the hell. i like celica and everything, shes a great character, but intsys does not respect her enough. i will tho. give her to ME.

7. A female character the narrative wound up being much better to than you’d thought it would be?

ivy fire emblem. honestly, like a lot of people, i had a really sour first impression of engage just based on the trailers, and also like a lot of people, i thought ivy was just gonna be camilla 2.0 seductress on a wyvern they’d use strictly for fanservice and cast any interesting traits away. happy to say i was wrong! i loved her character arc with her turning against her father, watching him die, and then fleeing the country everything riding entirely on the hope that the divine dragon can still accept her offerings. and then having to face hortensia and face the fact that ivy left her behind and still get hortensia to come with you its just… ugh. ivy fire emblem. its been a while since i read engages story but her individual character story specifically was just. so fun. i love her very much.

15. Female character you would defend with your life?

lucina fire emblem. same issues as with severa tbh in the sense that in my happy little tumblr bubble i see nothing but complete love an adoration for her, but if i step out and see a twitter/reddit nerd’s opinion on her i lose my mind. “shes boring shes just a forced love interest for male robin her story is poorly written shes shallow” im gonna kill you. god forbid a young woman go through struggles the likes of which none of us will ever know and finds it hard to tell a joke. fucking christ.

#THE READ MORE VROKE I HAS TO FIX IT SORRY IF U SAW IT BEFORE HAND LMAOO #asks #tbh 15 like i’ll defend most women no matter what give me a name and im there #but the second gen awakening women get a lot of shit for no fucking reason #‘kjelle just works out and is rude’ ‘noire’s gimmick is stupid’ ‘cynthia hero schtick is so annoying’ one eye better be open while you sleep

[joshuaalbert]

harry kim… ive missed your voyager posting but i want to hear your thoughts on dear harry boy…

favorite thing about them

he's my most favoritest guy. i love him. if like .03% of the things that had happened to him happened to me i'd be out there murdering bitches or something and he's still just out here being a nice friendly guy who tries his best for the ship and for other people. like sometimes they do a rly good job of making it clear that there's this very deep well of resolve to him and he is an incredibly hard person to break despite experiencing the horrors so so so often. BUT i also love it when he's unhinged like he absolutely deserves to get to go off the rails sometimes. and i like it when he's making little petty comments he deserves that too.

least favorite thing about them

i mean we all know this but he's SO fucked over by the writers/showrunners. there's literally no reason for the no promotion/left out of major storylines/frequently sidelined in favor of other characters deal except some like. racist bullshit. writers will be like "well we just don't think he's an interesting character" bitch then make him interesting lol that's your job.

brOTP

harry and b'elanna literally the single most important dynamic in the show to me. every episode that they don't have a scene together i think about committing unfathomable acts of violence. i really enjoy that they genuinely feel like friends who care tremendously about each other (although i wish we saw them hanging out more off duty or in the mess hall or whatever).

also like idk if it's a brotp because they're not like Bros but the harry and janeway dynamic makes me feel uhh vaguely insane. now that you're here someone can understand what i mean when i say it's kind of the inverse of picard and wesley in a lot of ways lmao.

OTP

honestly i cannot deny the weird gay thing he and tom have going on. with tom and b'elanna i can be like yeah she deserves better but a) he's usually better to harry than b'elanna because the writers don't seem to know how to write romantic storylines without some bullshit and b) it lowkey doesn't matter if harry deserves better because regardless of my opinions they just Do Have a weird and compelling fucked up gay thing. the chute literally exists.

also my beloved friend @aberfaeth who was my source of voy knowledge before i started watching voy is a ptk enthusiast and i like. very much see that in some arrangement i like whatever they've all got going on

nOTP

uhhh. hm. i dont know that i have one in terms of things that people actually ship? i am very not fond of the show's trend of giving him like tall blonde traditionally (western) beautiful women as like short term love interests that we're clearly supposed to assume he has absolutely no chance with because he's a lame nerd. in a vacuum him always going for like women that fit a specific mold of Hot Girl that he basically never actually has chemistry with would give comphet but i do think in this case it's far more representative of, again, the racist bullshit and it being very clear that they don't see him as being a viable romantic option.

random headcanon

i have not been rotating him in my mind long enough to have a ton of these but i do very much stand by my harry and b'elanna undefeatable battle bots build team headcanon

unpopular opinion

im not immersed enough in the voy ecosystem enough to know what opinions are popular tbh but i do think any headcanon that has harry like pining after tom is simply not a correct interpretation of events imo

favorite picture of them

like I said. I like it when he’s unhinged and when he’s petty.

#i didn't have answers to some of these so i just uhh got rid of them but i still had a lot to say anyway lol #ty ty!!! #when nobody else got me etc #ask game

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

okay so after i saw the announcement of a stranger things animated show, i looked into it just for more context and found out that this year, a stranger things stage show opens in london, and as a british theatre nerd, i may have fell down a rabbit hole.

to preface, i have not studied drama since i was 16. i did not pursue further it as much as i wish i had. i have, however, seen many many plays and musicals, both amateur and professional. i know at least a little more than the average person.

so if youre remotely interested in hearing amateur analysis of what we know of stranger things: the last shadow, welcome:

"take theatrical storytelling and stagecraft to a whole new dimension"

so in one article, i found this quote. i couldnt find who said it exactly, just someone associated with the play.

i'm hoping, this is just marketing; i really hope its just marketing. because this feels a bit insulting to uh, a lot of people who came before. such as augusto boal who founded theatre of the oppressed or konstantin stanislavski or bertolt brecht or antonin artaud who founded theatre of cruelty.

i mention artaud because im expecting some elements from theatre of cruelty. if you look up any artaud plays or theatre of cruelty plays on youtube, youll probably get why.

but anyway, as you might have gathered, this hasnt inspired confidence in me. and i already wasnt confident because it is very difficult to translate film or tv to theatre, and vice versa. look at phantom 2004. i dont believe the duffers would be able to do this; this isnt even a knock on their writing, i dont think most writers could do this without practice.

and so i went to their website to see who else was involved

now is probably a great time to mention how inaccessible their website is. in the background of their website, there are small flashing lights all over the screen. theres no warning for this.

it literally triggered a migraine in me and i had to take my strongest medication for it. fuck you website designer.

(also, just gonna mention it here, i do like the poster and some of the website design, ignoring the stupid lights, but i cannot find the artist ANYWHERE on the website, which as an artist, fuck you)

anyway, first thing i did was look at who is writing it, and im in two minds about it. there are four writers credited: kate trefry, duffer brother 1, duffer brother 2, and jack thorne.

if you recognise jack thornes name, its probably because he wrote the awful harry potter play.

HOWEVER, hes actually quite a competent writer like 90% of the time. his plays tend to get at least 3 out of 5 stars. looking through the reviews, his best regarded plays are bunny, hope, solid life of sugar water, and his adaptation of let the right one in

that last one is very promising because he drew both on the book and film in adaptation. jack thorne does know how to adapt media into different mediums. he has also won an adaption award for his adaption of a christmas carol. his adaptation of the film after life has also be commended for being a good adaption.

this is not to say his work isnt without criticism. i mean, he wrote cursed child. he also has been criticised for slow pacing, shallow writing and one of his more recent plays, sunday, apparently had a "hello fellow kids" vibe. he is now in his 40s afterall.

so a bit of a mixed bag, but a good sign in terms of it not being simply terrible due to lack of understanding of medium.

i also have to mention that jack thorne is disabled and is an advocate for disabled folks in the dramatic arts. when he wrote the solid life of sugar water, he dictated that one character should always be played by a deaf actor. he does also write many disabled stories. his impact is a net positive.

(hes also frank skinners brother-in-law which is fun)

now, the other three writers have never written for stage, which uh, yeah, no, that does the opposite of inspiring courage in me. it is a very different process than writing for films or tv, and none of them have any writing credits for stage work.

on the poster, kate trefry is credited as the main writer which could go either way. shes not written much for screen. she has at least written stranger things episodes so shes not going into it blind.

honestly, i just hope they use jack thorne and his expertise more than they need to. hes the wise old man in their group and i really hope they listen to him and dont just try and do it all themselves.

now onto the director: stephen daldry. ive never seen his work live, but when i was studying drama, i really wanted to.

to give you an idea as to why, when david hare was working on via dolorosa, he had daldry as a co-director and when daldry responded no to hare asking if something was over the top, hare said "your top is situated some hundred yards above everyone else. ive seen your productions."

do you get why i want to see one of his productions asdfdesd his work tends to be very expressionistic and vivid. his directing style has been described as consistent stylised helming. hes won a lot of awards and he tends to get 4/5 stars at the very least on his works.

hes also helped to adapt the billy elliot movie (which is both fantastic and directed by him) to stage and it was fantastic.

hes also gay <3

the set designer is miriam buether. ive never seen any of her work live so i cant speak for the atmosphere it creates, but her setwork looks fine. shes versatile and doesnt need to go over the top with spectacle for her sets to look good.

in particular, i really enjoy her sets for earthquakes in london. the colour work there is *chef's kiss*

unfortunately, theyve kept it all very under wraps as to the tone the stageshow is going to take so i dont know how either buethers set design of daldrys directing is going to translate.

by combining them, i would expect a very expressionistic, very brightly coloured show, which, theres some cognitive dissonance round the corner.

also the premise is about young!hopper, young!joyce, young!bob and henry creel, with some kind of mystery. id expect a more naturalistic approach with this premise, but daldry isnt exactly known for that. so im in two minds.

however, one of his best regarded shows is his adaption of an inspector calls. ive only seen a naturalistic version of that and it very much reads naturalistic. daldrys was the opposite, even going as far as swapping out the fancy dinner hall for the blitz. so if anyone is gonna make it work, it would be daldry.

in terms of light design, thats jon clark. once again, ive never seen any of his work in person so im going off of photos but oh my fucking god i love his work with shadows. hes won many awards and he fucking deserves them.

sound design is the same. ive never heard a paul arditti sound design show in person and bootlegs dont have the best audio. hes award-winning, however, so it seems like thats in good hands.

one thing i was very interested about was how they were going to translate the upside down and the monsters. the show relies on cgi which obviously, you cant really do cgi on a stage; it would just look kinda shit.

their solution seems to be hiring two illusion designers.

i couldnt find much on the first, chris fisher. hes a member of the magic circle and hes done a lot of work so he seems accomplished.

the second one, im honestly kind of excited about. the second is jamie harrison who is the co-artistic director for a company called vox motus WHO ARE SO FUCKING COOL.

there is no mention of his partner in vox motus, candice edmunds, but that could mean nothing.

instead of trying to explain what vox motus do, im just gonna copy two quotes from their website:

"ours is a theatre of story-telling visuals, transformational design, magic, comedy, music, physical performance, puppetry, multi-media and most importantly thrills."

"we are drawn to stories that explore extremes of behaviour and taboos in the contemporary world: often unbelievable true tales that delve into the bizarre, glorious, exhilarating and macabre."

look up their stuff, its so fucking cool. there is also definitely some elements of artaud in their work. it gives me a lot of confidence for the show being enjoyable even if the writing is bad, because spectacle can go a long way.

i genuinely kinda want to go see this show now because i really want to see their work, and id get a chance to see a daldry play.

so like a tl/dr for this part: im not confident in the writing but i dont necessarily think itll be bad. i think the worst itll be is sufficient and mediocre, if they listen to jack thorne. i do have a lot of confident in the visual aspects and spectacle; even if the writing is shit, it will look good.

now im going to be an annoying disabled person and point out some accessibility stuff:

as i mentioned before, the website has small flashing lights all over the background. theres no warning for this. it triggered a migraine for me which was the best three options considering they could have also triggered visual disturbances in my eyes (aka seeing things that arent there due to my iih) or epileptic symptoms due to brain damage.

the theatre itself does have wheelchair access at the side of the building it also has accessible toilets. there is no onsite parking which does make it more difficult for wheelchair users.

they have said they will present captioned, audio-described and british sign language performances, but the dates are not yet set. they instruct you to keep checking . im a little intrigued about this and a little concerned considering its currently may 9th and it opens 17th november.

if you need accessible tickets, you need to have atg access membership. this is a third party company. to have this, you have to show paperwork or documents to prove that you're disabled which is often not possible for many disabled folks. i dont have a written diagnosis for anything besides my adhd diagnosis because i was diagnosed in person or over the phone. luckily, i receive pip so i qualify but its a ridiculous standard.

in the faq, theres a question about being aware of any potential trigger warnings; the answer to this is copy and pasted from the question above which asked about age rating and parental guidance, apart from them adding that there will be flashing lights in the show.

and finally some extra details:

there is a £3.80 transaction charge on top of ticket purchases

you cannot book over the phone

they are all e-tickets

currently, you cannot buy group tickets or student tickets, and you can only purchase a max of 6 tickets.

they are planning a weekly-lottery for late-release tickets, and this will be announced closer to the first show

there is not a confirmed runtime

they have no current plans to move the show outside of london

the age rating is 12+. this means under 16s must be accompanied by adults and under 5s are just not allowed in. not entirely sure how it works if youre age 6 to 11.

the most common ticket price i saw was starting at £45 (about $57). the second most common was starting at £75 (about $95).

there were some tickets starting at £20 (about $25).

i might actually buy a ticket and see it. i would have to save for it but i could do it and then tell you if its shit or not lmao

#stranger things #stranger things the last shadow #long post #kai rambles

[stellarhistoria]

#STELLARHISTORIA. // affiliated, mutuals only, semi selective. multi - muse, ship, verse, fandom. // main foci: luka, alexios, wolfwood.

welcome to my blog. i'll be the scribe, kouren. ( he / they / fae )

this blog features a ton of neat muses, such as wolf.wood from tri-max & tri-stamp, clo.ud strife from FFVII:R & FF:AC, and dot.tore from gen.shin imp.act. on the flipside of things, i also roleplay a ton of original characters, such as luka highwind, alexios ambrosi, and kairos serif. if anything here interests you, please check out the following listed pages.

[ rundown of rules will be beneath the cut. ]

rules & muse selection // credits // faceclaims used. // thread tracker. ask // memes // open starters // all tags used. // carrd.

I. introduction: 

hi hello i'm sure you know at least of my exploits in the past 8 or so years of being a roleplayer. i'm practically willing to bet you've heard of my various aliases (vrai, vixi, riley, lunos/lulu, ri, solaris/sol, so on and so forth)! nonetheless... i'm 22 years old, a part time artist and graphic designer, i have schizoaffective-bipolar and c-ptsd and add, and i have an associates of science that i have a physics major, astronomy minor in that allows me to make magic cohesive and yet so fucking bizarre~ share your thoughts with a fellow fantasy and horror nerd.

II. activity & exclusivity: 

first things first, my activity on any given week, let alone day, will be extremely sporadic and i will only be responding to what a) i have muse for and b) what my mood allows for. if i'm not responding to you, it's nothing against you. it's just where my head is at, at that moment. secondly, this is a mutuals only, affiliated, and selective multimuse multifandom blog, i have so many muses man...

III. affiliates: 

the people who have muses directly tied to this blog's characters and lore are: @stellafortunae, @zodiac--muses, @breathofcosmos, @pleiadeshalo, and @constellaeinfinitum. please go give them a follow if you find interest in their characters, i assure you that you won't regret it ♥

IV. fandom association: 

while i roleplay in a vast majority of fandoms, there is very very little that i want to do with most roleplay communities, as i have been unreasonably kicked out of at least two (one due to them finding out i was not 18 [not doing smut, but was writing horror], and the other kicked me out for playing an irredeemable villain for years). the only ones i want to associate with right now are TRIGUN & KINGDOM HEARTS.

V. triggers: 

if you have any you don't want to see on my blog, please, please let me know! i'm not a mind reader!!! i will tag it or if it's possible i will avoid it. as for myself, the biggest ones that illicit strong ptsd reactions out of me are romantic cheating threads or aus, sexual assault or noncon/dubcon threads or aus, the emergency room (real or otherwise), sacrificial knives (i know they're not real but my brain fucking panics and i'm sorry), and specifically familial manipulation (that i have not been warned about). you can tag this as "mordred dont look" if you'd like.

VI. general rp rules: 

the general sentiment goes as follows . . . one, no godmodding/powerplay (aka making my character do something, unless it's a very small or implied action they'd take). two, no rushing for replies, it's not cool. three, if you want to drop a thread, tell me, because i will also tell you if i find no more interest. four, if you want to not see me on your dash anymore, hard block me. i might accidentally refollow.

VII. specific mun rules: 

one of the biggest rules is while i am a shipping whore, please don't force a ship onto me. i love pre established threads, i love family ties, i love things that have implication, i love it. but don't force it. similarly, another big rule i have is that if you don't enjoy having a lil more than occasional ooc posts, and just want a mostly roleplay area, then i am sorry, but i can't help ya.

VIII. queue / staggering posts: 

another small thing but one i should mention, is that i use the queue rather religiously. if i am particularly excited about something i will respond right away, however most of my replies, as of now (8/26/2023), are going into the queue.

IX. blog birthday: 

i may have made this blog on an impulsive whim of mine, but i fucking love it now. this blog was made on january 10th, 2023. most of these muses are those i've had anywhere from 2010 - 2023. ♥

X. credits: 

please check this google document for all of the references i have used or made myself for each of my characters (being continuously updated).

#pinned post. #important. #psa. #do not reblog.

[earlyspringtranscendence]

corin pushing past his own comfort zone to allow patrick the comfort of touch during a deeply traumatic time for p like literally im so fragile right now i can’t even begin to explain all of what’s going thru my mind. but i will.

like i think the biggest reason this mental image is so important to me is that andrew rowe’s writing with patrick (and mara tbh) has always held so much nuance & tenderness, like here’s this golden retriever type of boy who holds so much love and positivity in his heart, here’s this little nerd who loves the world he lives in & loves his friends so much theyre family (again, same goes for mara who im p sure was the one who said she needed family time while they were discussing blackstone banditry but it could very well have been sera which is still a win for me bc all these characters are so fantastic*) & he would do ANYTHING for coring — remember him being the first person to stand up to magnus for corin ?? remember corin being hit & his first thoughts are thank fuck patrick saw this? cause i dont think he’d have felt that way if it were anyone else, not even mara or sera or even derek or keras (though derek & keras ymmv bc they are still adults in this situation so theyd be far more likely to be able to do anything, but still theres the shame of it which i think would be more pronounced w them than it is w patrick bc he’s just such an unbelievably kind hearted character)

he doesn’t have the same sway over corin’s emotional intelligence as sera does but he still offers guidance by just being so emotionally intelligent himself, and anyway these are all his perfect traits but then not only that he’s also vulnerable (which is still a perfect trait but you get what i mean) and its not the first time he gets to be vulnerable but for the tables to have turned so severely that now its corin who has to be the brave, kindhearted one.... when patrick gets to be fr scared and hurt and young it’s by far one of the best parts of the books that happens outside of the story, because theyre ALL like that, bc in silence of unworthy gods im pretty sure theyre still only 18 (and you can tell the difference btwn an 18yr old who grew up in an awful family, an 18 yr old who grew up practically without a full family/her current family, an 18 yr old who had the best family but other circumstances denied her certain privileges and an 18 yr old whose home life idk jackshit about but i feel like it was probably pretty good bc a) how could u not adore patrick and b) well he came out bright as sunshine so you know, but anyway theres nuances in their maturity and patrick is by far the youngest but theyre ALL young & scared & inexperienced & going through far too much... i mean like read wobm keras is 21 in that im p sure and like ok yes he does go through a whole thing in book 1 fighting gods or whatever (overachiever) but his actual training is a piece of cake in comparison to what these guys go through)

anyway idk where that was going so nvm but its not only corin, it’s keras who .. ok to be honest i havent read more than the first book in 6ss which i need to get to bc i feel like im missing some context lately but keras clearly is in a very bad very stressed out place right now & mara telling him he needs to fucking COOL IT &&&& all of this being done through the medium of touch, which is such a taboo topic in AA because its from corin’s perspective and corin is you know. traumatised to hell and back.

its fucking magnificent. andrew rowe is so fucking good, not just for his worldbuilding but for his characters and his KINDNESS towards them, UGH !

* i was gonna go in depth on that but this is long enough so lemme just say im also loving sheridan this book i mean i loved them before but now that theyre like a more established type of love interest (.. sorta ??) it just makes me giggle bc there is no one for coring to end up with without me adoring the shit out of it. jin? im so down. cecily? i feel like itd be a little sad & they need to build to it but i LOVE cecily so sure !!! sheridan? literally i’d scream itd be so funny and SO good, LUTE ??? i mean. no ones even hinting at that happening but yes 100% yes.

plus i feel like corin has a crush on keras in that ‘thisman is 26 and beautiful & knows so much’ kind of way. anyway. AH !!! 

#plus i will not ever get over the very first scene in this book being keras finally standing up to magnus #& frankly i'll never get over teft offering to duel corin #then again ive always loved teft for his fruity ways #but fr there is not a single character in these books that you cant adore #even the evil guys like. other than magnus i could even love children of the tyrant (source: jonan) #recently read

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

I come here for words of wisdom. Every time I read a fanfic about Bakugou being a fuckboy I normally laugh it off because it sounds ridiculous in my mind, although sharing this thought with other people made me realize that some actually think he might be in the future???? So, I want your honest opinion. Not just about that, but I'd genuinely love to know your input on how Bakugou would be in his late-teens, early adulthood, before (for the sake of it) meeting X and settling. Would he sleep around? Would he try for a relationship and fail? What would fail? What would make him settle? Would he really just focus on hero work and that's it? So. Many. Questions.

Hope everything is going great for you. I haven't been on tumblr much (am I the only one noticing the insane wave of wattpad writing here??? p.o.v. and all??????) but I've been following your stuff, and as always, it's incredible. 💞💕

PLS - okay this is so nice to see bc i’ve actually been taking a break from tumblr/writing for the past month. (mental refresh u kno?) aND YESTERDAY I CAME BACK AND SCROLLED THRU MY DASH AND SAW WATTPAD STUFF JUST LIKE YOU SAID.

i was shocked. aghast. completely bewildered. pls i even caved and searched up bakugou fics just to see if everyone else is treating him like that,, and like i dont even know why i did that, because ofc i knew the answer was gonna be yes!! the answer is always yes !!! like i just saw so many fics of him as such a “ooo daddy dom badboy bakugou 🥴🥴” and like why???? bakugou is such a frickin nerd?? and thats sooooooo funny?? whY STRIP HIM OF HIS COMEDIC POTENTIAL ???

but yes yes specifically about bakugou being a fuckboy..... yeah i have no idea where the fuck they get that from. like- did we watch the same show???? sex and especially being naked are such vulnerable things at their core, and they rlly think Mr. Anti-Vulnerability is gonna be the one to sleep around??? to willingly put himself into a vulnerable situation time and time again?? no. pls. c’mon y’all. sometimes i think even todoroki would be more likely.

and just- to sleep around you have to be very comfortable showing interest in other people, over and over and over again. and i just- bakugou doesn’t even admit that his friends are his friends???? and somehow they think that suddenly he’s gonna go around telling people “hey. i like you. and by admitting that to you, i am therefore giving you a slight bit of power over me.”

i- no. he’d never. period, end of story. he would rather be fuckin’ dead. so the answer is no, as he currently is, i cannot for the life of me see why he’d ever become a fuckboy. he just doesn’t have it in him lmaoooooo

ooo but about the what makes him settle question- THANK YOU IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT IT.

okay so how i see it, is bakugou is probably totally and completely fine being alone up until his like mid 20’s. sure he thinks maybe it’d be nice to have somebody, but he works so hard that it’s always a fleeting feeling. but then he gets a little older, settles into his spot on the rankings (#3 btw, im soRRY kats but its the truth!!) and watches all his friends get into meaningful relationships. and then, a few more years down the line (think late 20’s/ early 30’s) he’ll be sitting back and being like “shit. i don’t have anybody like that. somebody who’s just for me. who’d pick me first always.”

and i think that is what he wants most of all. i mean, he’s clearly chock-full of insecurities related to that idea, and i cant imagine him ever settling without that need being fufilled. like, i think eventually he’ll probably abandon the idea of being #1 hero, but he’ll still keep that dream of being #1 somehow. so once he finds somebody that always has his back, always puts up with his shit and still loves him at the end of it?? still looks at him with stars in their eyes day after day??? pls. mans is putty and will never even dream of leaving

but that being said- i dont think he’s gonna find The One on first try. i think he’ll be aiming for that, but i cant see it working out. even when he starts seriously dating around his mid 20s, i think he’ll still be too caught up with his hero work. it’ll take him a good few years and one/two failed relationships to finally find a balance that works for him and whoever he ends up with

@i-need-air tysm for asking,,,, clearly i have a lot of thoughts and i love him sm so this was so fun!!!!!! i loved this ask ty!!!!

#bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha fic #mha bakugou #bakugou imagine #bakugou ask #bnha #mha

[mhento]

Jaehyun - Distortion

Genre : college!au || angst, fluff, smut

Paring: Jaehyun x female!reader

Word count: 8,6k

Warning: swearing, graphic smut/ sexual themes, mentioning of alcohol

Summary: Your life drastically changed after you met the boyfriend of your friend Carly and his friends.

A/N: I post this after one or two years in my drafts. So hope you like it and remember I did not re-read this, so there may be some grammar mistakes.

Lmao I suck at descriptions. So please don’t mind my nonsense I wrote there. Hope you have fun reading this. 😊💕 @bunniglow

It was a usual day in college. You were seated in the front row of the lecture hall. There wasn't much to say about you. You were just an ordinary girl. Well you heard other people say you were a nerd but that wasn't really you. They said those things because you always sat in the front row, hadn't a lot of friends and sat in the library when you weren't at your apartment or at your workplace.

You were a barista in a cafe near your college. Most of the people who came to get a drink were students. At first you found it good because they weren't much people who had a huge age gap. But after some time it got really annoying. Most of the people who ordered were rude. They had an attitude that made you ponder how they were treated at home to be this disrespectful. Customers that weren't students were nice, sometimes too nice. You hadn't anything against talking with a customer when you had time but you definitely were against their flirting attempts. The only thing they created was uncomfortableness. So you rushed to get them out of your view which was kind of hard sometimes. Overall you didn't like your job much but it was your only source of money and they paid well, so you didn't want to complain.

The things students were thinking about you were false prejudices. You sat in the front row because you didn't want to see other students in front of you. You wanted to have the least contact with them. The front row could secure you this. You weren't afraid of others but you just simply hadn't any motivation to talk to any person about things you considered as indifferent. This was also the reason why you had barely friends. The only friend you had was a girl you met on your first day in your first semester who introduced herself as Charlotte or Charly as she wants to be called like this.You actually didn't want to talk to her at first but she was so persistent that in the end you gave in. After your first talk with her you learned that she was also your roommate. You couldn't have been happier. You had guessed you would get the worst roommate.

She definitely wasn't the best roomate. She was the reason why you spent so little time in the apartment. She had a boyfriend and whenever he came over you were out of view after you learned it the hard way. The first time you thought it would be okay to sit in your room and learn for the upcoming exams but you were proven wrong. You didn't know they both would be this loud. So you had to take your earphones in. Even with the music in full volume, you couldn't veneer their voices. So you gave up and walked out of the door. Since then you avoided being in the apartment when he was present. But he was there most of the time so you just had the library as an escape.

As you sat in the front row and draw on the cover of your block, gasped could be heard. So you lifted your head to see what made people so shocked. A male student stood in the door frame and he looked like a rich kid who gets spoiled from his parents frequently. He had a ripped blue jeans and a grey polo shirt with a denim jacket over on. His shoes were from an expensive sport label. They were black with a dark blue hashtag on the sides. He had a watch on that was way more expensive than anything that belonged to you. His hair which was dark brown was styled back. He looked through the rows and halted when he saw you. He locked eyes with you and a small smile appeared on his handsome face before he started to walk to the back row.

Charly suddenly came from behind you and sat down next to you. You didn't question her why she was sitting behind you but you were definitely confused.

"Oh my gosh Y/N. He looked at you and he even smiled. You're soooo lucky." Your friend said with excitement and a huge smile on her face.

"What? Whom are you referring to?"

"Girl are you serious?" She deadpanned. "Jung Jaehyun just looked at you. Fucking Jung Jaehyun."

"Jung who? Who is this?"

Her smile dropped and she seemed to get a little annoyed.

"Jung Jaehyun. The hot guy that smiled at you like a minute ago." When she saw that you were still a little confused she added. "You know, the guy with the expensive clothes on."

"Ohh you mean the rich kid. Ahh yeah uhm what's with him? He can look at anybody he wants to. Maybe he saw something on my face or so."

She gave you a disapproving look but before she could speak again the professor came and the lecture began.

Not even five minutes into the lecture and you were getting bored. You just wanted to sleep. But this didn't seem like a good idea when you were in front of the prof. You didn't want him to think his lecture was uninteresting so you came to the conclusion to just continue your drawing.

When it finally ended you were the first out of the hall and went straight to the cafeteria. You were starving so much because you couldn't get to eat in the morning. You set an alarm on your phone and went to sleep but you forgot to charge your phone over the night. So the battery of your phone died and with that your alarm wasn't going to give any tone. You were woken up by Charly in the morning. She was already dressed and ate something. She thought you were already gone but heard you mumbling something so she came to wake you. You were truly thankful to her. If she wasn't there, you would have been in trouble.

You were the first to arrive in the cafeteria. The lady behind the counter already knew what you were going to buy. In the time you were walking to the counter, the old lady already had your order finished.

"Y/N nice to see you again. You weren't here for quiet a time." The old lady kinda made a pouting face and that brought both of you to laugh.

"I'm sorry. I was just kinda busy. But I promise I'll be here more often in the future. And thank you for finishing it up before I even arrived." You gave her a thumbs up and as you saw the people gathering in the cafeteria you quickly said your leave and made your way to the exit.

But before you left you saw Jaehyun shortly looking at you. You didn't gave it much of a thought but it stil didn't go unnoticed.

You sat on the rooftop and waited for Charly. For the first time she said she would bring her boyfriend with her. You didn't know what to say and you were kind of nervous.

You bit in your salami sandwich and enjoyed the view. You liked the rooftop a lot. You found yourself always interested in your surrounding. You wanted to take pictures of old houses or just a street full of people in the shopping area. The look down from the roof was facinating everytime you went there. The people going to their different lectures. You could already tell who was in his first semester and who wasn't. The people in their first semesters were kind of confused where they had to go. When you thought back to the time when you were in your first semester it was the same for you. Even after half a year you didn't knew what building you had to enter. A good thing was that Charly was there for you. And it was kind of strange that she always knew where they had to go. But you didn't complain.

Loud voices brought you back to reality. Even if Charly was coming with her boyfriend, they were too many voices...too many male voices. You turned around and saw your friend with 5 guys around her.

When she saw you looking at her she greeted you. The guys stopped talking and the attention was now on you. They were all really good looking and also had expensive things on. You recognized Jaehyun among them.

The first person that talked was a really tall guy. He had black hair and his arm was around Charly's waist. So he had to be her boyfriend or other ways it would have been odd. "Hey, I'm Johnny. I'm Charly's boyfriend. Nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you." He said smiling.

Charly prickled him in the side. She rolled her eyes at him and then turned back to you. "He says it like it was something bad we talked about. But dont worry, we just talked about good things." She winked at you and you couldn't contain a laugh.

"It's fine. I don't even know what you could say about me. I mean, I'm not that interesting." You said with a shrug but still with a smile plastered on your face. If Jaehyun wouldn't stand next to Johnny, you would've missed the frown on his face. It didn't last long and that made unsure. Maybe you just imagined it?

The next to speak was a guy with red hair. He wasn't as tall as Johnny but taller than you. You didn't know why but he gave you the feeling as if he was the leader of the clique. Could you say leader? But like the person that arranged most of the meetings outside the college. "I'm Taeyong. Nice to meet you." He was really polite as he gave you his hand to shake. "I mean I don't know if you already know my name but I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you too." You said with a slighty timid attitude.

You didn't know why you were shy all of a sudden. But this was your first time to speak to so many people. It made you nervous as hell. You just didn't know why this feeling came only now.

A guy with dark hair spoke next. He kind of reminded you of a bunny. A really cute bunny to that. "I'm Doyoung." He came and gave you a hug. It took you off guard and you seemed to look as surprised as you felt because Doyoung apologized as soon as he saw your face. "I'm always like this. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable." "What? No you didn't made me feel uncomfortable. I was just surprised. That's all. No need to apologize for your kindness." You briskly responded. This time you saw Jaehyun lifting an eyebrow at you. You quickly looked away from him and at ten only person you dodmt know the name of yet.

He didn't look like the other guys but still handsome. Your gut feeling was right and he introduced himself as Yuta. He came from Japan.

"Oh really you're from Japan? That's cool. I've always wanted to go there but I didn't had enough time or money to do that." You exclaimed happily.

"Hey if you ever go there just message me on Instagram and I'll give you a tour around." You nodded and smiled at this.

This caused an unhappy look on Jaehyun's face and you weren't sure anymore if you even wanted to be introduced to him. In this short time you saw him. He looked more pissed than happy. Didn't he smile at you hours ago? Why would he be like this then?

Even after a moment of silence and all eyes on Jaehyun, he hadn't said anything. Just looked at you. Which pissed you more off. As everyone could see the tension between you two, Taeyong decided to speak up. "So uhm this is Jaehyun. Well normally he isn't like this and actually the most hyper of us but today he seems off." Jaehyun shot a glare at Taeyong but still remained silent.

After uncomfortable silence you all decided to talk about useless stuff. You actually got really good along with Yuta and Doyoung. Between your conversations with them you felt your eyes always looking at Jaehyun. Even if he didn't say a word to you till now, he did seem to wake your interests. But you just shrugged it off as he didn't show any signs.

You learned a whole lot about them. They are called RSB which means 'Rich Since Birth'. Out of their pronunciation you knew they didn't like that name. A lot of people think they got to this university just because of money and that their grades are bought. They were also known as the prettiest group of friends on campus. Despite the number of people that hated them, they were a lot more that liked them. Liked them way too much. They got a lot of love confessions. Heck how old were the people who confessed? They weren't in high school anymore. They should know better. You never really understood people who confessed their love to someone who they barely knew.

You exchanged numbers with almost everyone there. Jaehyun was the only person you didn't feel to get quite along with and this wasn't how you wished it would be. He didn't even say bye to you and just disappeared from your view.

You said your goodbye to everyone else and went to your lecture. It was the first time you weren't one of the first people to arrive but one of the last. Thus there wasn't a seat available in the front row. You had to go to the middle. At first you felt uncomfortable but it got better with time. You looked around and saw Jaehyun in the front row. You probably scoffed too loud and also glared too obviously at Jaehyun as everyone was now looking at you two. He seemed to notice the unwanted attention on him and turned around to see you glaring at him. He still had this annoying look and this made you seemingly insecure as you took your back and exit the room right before the prof came.

For the rest of the day you just sat on your bed and read a book. You didn't really care about what you read and you also didn't concentrate while you read but you needed something to bring you on other thoughts. Tomorrow would be more miserable than today because you knew most of the people were going to talk about you and Jaehyun and what ifs could be between you two.

When Carly arrived she also asked you holes in your stomach. You said that you never saw him in the front row before and just on the day you couldn't sit in the front he sits there. Like he was provoking you. She responded, you thought too much into it and it probably wasn't on purpose. Moreover it was just a seat so what was the problem? And she was right. What was your problem to even begin with?

After almost a week the rumors about you didn't stop. You thought that people would have been bored after not being fed with more stuff but you were wrong. It was Jaehyun everyone was talking about. So this couldn't last just one week. It had to be longer and it annoyed you a lot. Not to your surprise Jaehyun ignored you. When he didn't ignore you he sent you glares over the room. You knew it was your fault but what could you do? The damage was wrought. The rumors were from Y/N just wanted attention from him to Y/N is pregnant with Jaehyun's child. Sometimes you laughed about their silliness but you were also shocked to what extent people thought of you. How you just were after his money or other stuff. Did people even thought before they talked?

You still held your contact with the other boys. They weren't about what you did but they found it hilarious. When you sat on the rooftop to tell them what happened they all laughed their asses off telling you, you did great. You didn't even wanted to understand what they meant with you doing great.

After like another month the rumors kind of shut down. They weren't completely eradicated but less than weeks ago.

You were on your way to the rooftop when Jaehyun wrote in the group chat you all decided to open a few weeks ago. You didn't even need to look to say what he wrote. The only thing he always wrote was that he didn't come to the rooftop.

You already heard a lot of people talking on the rooftop. You squinted your eyes as soon as you walked out of the door. The sun beamed in your face so you had to take a hand to cover your eyes. To your surprise Jaehyun was sitting there and chatting with the others.

You took out your phone and read the message he wrote in the group chat.

Today I'm coming to the roof - boy who always glares👀 (11:56am)

You felt your phone being taken away from Doyoung. Even with trying, you couldn't hold a grasp on your phone. "Ohhhh guys, do you know how Y/N saved Jaehyun in her contact list?" Everyone shoke their head and Doyoung jumped around like a hyper pony. "Doyoung, I warn you. Shut the fuck up and give me my phone back." You glared at him and the angry voice was audible. But Doyoung just shoke his head. "She saved him as boy who always glares. She even has two eyes emojis behind this."

Everyone laughed expect you and Jaehyun. You looked panicked at him and he seemed happy. He had a huge smile on his face.

You went to Doyoung and ripped your phone out of his hands. You glared at him one last time before you walked to the others and sat down.

Everyone seemed to have calmed down. So Jaehyun took the opportunity to speak first. "You all know Sicheng right? He's holding a party on Friday and he ask me if I could bring some of my friends."

"Uhhh Sicheng is holding a party? I'm definitely in." Said Yuta with a grin. He looked happier than you've seen him before. Did he had a thing for Sicheng?

You leaned in to Carly and hold a hand in front of your mouth before you whispered to her. "Who is Sicheng?"

"He's also in the clique. You just don't see him often."

"Ah Jaehyun I assume your also in for it." After Jaehyun nodded Doyoung added "So why do we all not just meet up at the party. A little fun can't damage, right?" Jaehyun looked at you and for the first time in weeks you didn't saw him glare at you or anything. He actually had a small smile on his lips which had you smiling unconscious. You weren't sure of what to say to the offer but Charly already agreed for you.

It was Friday evening and you were getting ready for the party. Charly put make up on for you.

When you were in high school you actually wanted to do stuff like this. But you gave up after months of trying. Whenever you made yourself pretty in your eyes and went to your parents they said you looked like a clown or something.

"Ok, I'm finished. You look amazing Y/N." Carly praised herself. You stood in front of a mirror. You put on a short black dress. You didn't have a lot of dresses in your wardrobe and this was the best and expensive looking, so you decided fot this one.

On the way to Sicheng's home ,where the party was on going, you kinda felt nervous again. You weren't much of a party type. Your bed was much more comfortable than a drunk people who collided with you. But Charly pleaded you the whole week to come with her. It wouldn't be fun without you. So you gave in.

When Sicheng's house was in sight you already saw a lot of drunk people in his dooryard. It wasn't even past 9pm and here you were struggling to even come to his front door because a dude had to fall in front of you and nearly spelled all of his drink on you. Thanks to Carly this didn't happen. She pulled you back a little and the red cup landed in front of your shoes. Due to smell the cup had to have vodka in it.

Finally inside it wasn't better. More drunk people could be seen. The only difference was that they also danced awfully to the music. They hadn't any rhythm to the beat but what do you expect from intoxicated students.

Suddenly a guy came to your side. He was tall and looked like someone who would spent his time with the " RSB " kids since his clothing looked just as expensive as from Jaehyun. But you couldn't deny that he still looked pretty handsome. The only thing didn't matching was that he was here. He looked too cute to even come to this party. So what was he doing here?

"Hey I'm Sicheng. I assume you're Y/N." Your eyes almost fell out from your staring. He was the person who throw the party. He looked like an introverted person and not someone with so many connections. Your prejudice was again wrong.

You felt Carly pinching your waist. Sicheng looked amused by you and you finally realized you just stared at him and not even said a single word. It would be too awkward to say anything now and to your relief Sicheng spoke again. "Well since Carly already told me about you, you don't have to introduce yourself, I guess. Do you two want to come with me to the basement? The others are already there. We play billiards. I'm not that good so I came up to look if anything is damaged." He smiled at the both of you and Carly dragged you with her to the basement.

Sicheng disappeared briefly in the kitchen and came back with three red cups. You rather didn't plan on drinking anything because you knew you hadn't the best alcohol tolerance. Nonetheless you accepted the cup amd followed both downstairs. The landing was small and it wasn't really illuminated.

The room was large. The walls were black which let the room seem smaller than he actually was. Paintings were on two walls. One was yellow with white and black mixed in it and the other showed a boy with his back looking. He sat on a stone and around him was water. It seemed like the stone was his only lifeboat. Further away in the background you could see a forest. It definitely didn't look appealing. The forest was dark green mixed with black.

Although it was the basement it had a big window. You could see the garden through the window. The garden was also large. The trees were organized after their length. There was a path between the trees that led to a shed. Other than this there was also a big pool were a lot of people were crowded around.

Back in the room was a billiard table and Yuta played against Taeyong. Taeyong was in lead. There was also a couch were Doyoung, Johnny, Carly and Sicheng sat. You didn't notice the two left your side. A table was in front of the couch and chaird were placed around the table. Even though most of the people were here, Jaehyun was missing. This made you a little disappointed. You were looking kinda forward to see him.

Your best option was to go to the others on the couch. Once you settled down Johnny suggested to play truth or dare. You weren't really in the mood for it but what exactly could go wrong. Yuta and Taeyong also gathered around the table and Doyoung placed an empty bottle in the middle of the table. The chair to your left wasn't occupied. You took the opportunity and ask where Jaehyun was. "We actually don't know. He was here a while ago and suddenly he was gone. He probably is upstairs kissing with some chick." This earned Johnny a lot of glares from the other boys and Carly kicked him. Johnny just looked questionable at the others. Sicheng whispered something into Johnny's ear and he looked apologetic at you. Now it was your turn to look confused. Taeyong opened his mouth to say something when the door opened and revealed Jaehyun. He sat down on the only chair that was left and drunk his alcohol mix. Nobody asked him where he was and instead Taeyong spun the bottle.

It stopped at Yuta and he chose dare. Doyoung dared him to call Mark and confess to him his love for Sicheng. Taeyong who sat on your right told you who Mark was. He was also part of the clique but a semester under them. They knew him since middle school. The phone ringing stopped Taeyong from speaking more. After the fifth ring Mark accepted the call. The whole thing was really funny because Mark had to be sleeping already as his answers made no sense. He wished the new couple congratulations although Yuta only talked about his love for Sicheng and not returned love.

Yuta spun the bottle and this time it stopped at Jaehyun. He chose truth. "Do you have someone who you like?" Doyoung briskly asked. Jaehyun stiffened for a moment before his eyes met yours and he seemed to get more nervous. He eventually looked back at Doyoung. "Yeah I do have someone." A lot of oohhhs could be heard and Johnny asked who it was but Jaehyun didn't spell any tea.

You felt Jaehyun's glimpse on you again but you decided to ignore it. You began to get nervous. Jaehyun spun the bottle and oh how predictably. It stopped at you. If you chose truth, you would have become a question like Jaehyun. You decided for dare which was the worse decision.

As the rounds before Doyoung talked. "I dare you to kiss the person to your left." You couldn't believe this. Why did it had to be Jaehyun? You didn't dare to look at him. Instead you looked around and nobody was really shocked about the statement expect you and Jaehyun. You slowly turned your head to your left and locked eyes with him. He seemed as nervous as you. You hesitated but you moved forward to him. You halted in front of his face. Your noses were touching, never breaking eye contact. Your heart beat a lot faster than you wanted and you were sure he could hear it from his position. As you appeared to not move forward anymore, he took the chance and placed his lips in yours. You closed your eyes. He moved slowly and you took up with his pace. He leaned back and you opened your eyes to see shocked faces of the others. You looked back at him and saw him trying to conceal a smile which brought a small smile to creep up on your face.

"Wow. I never thought you would really do this." Doyoung said as shaken as he looked. You took the first sip of your drink and it soured your throat.

You all didn't speak about this and just moved on to continue your game. After some time you excused yourself to get you a new drink. You weren't drunk but definitely a little tipsy.

You made your way out of the door and proceeded your way up the stairs. As you almost arrived upstairs a hand touched your shoulder. You turned around and saw Jaehyun behold you. His eyes were dark and it made him even more handsome. His eyes flickered between your eyes and your lips as he came closer and briefly kissed you on the lips, just to examine your expression. When you didn't move away or anything, he kissed you again. This time deeper than in the game. His lips were soft as they moved against your own. He pushed you against the wall and your hands moved upwards his torso and around his neck. The feeling of his hands on your side sending chills through your body. One of his hands moved to your back and then squeezed lightly your butt. A moan escaped your lips before you could stop it. Jaehyun grunted at this.

"Do you know how long I've waited for this? I couldn't hold it in anymore. Why do you have to wear this short dress? It looks so fucking good on you." He said pressing you more against the wall. He kissed your jaw down to your neck and sucked till purple bruises began to form. He moved to your ear and nibbled at it. This let another moan escape as you moved your head back which gave him more access to your neck. Your leg moved around his and you felt a bulge touch the space between your legs. You felt yourself getting more wet.

"Hey what do you think about getting in one of the rooms upstairs?" He said in between kisses. You stopped and looked at him. "Isn't this Sicheng's house? Can we really do it?" You asked a little nervous because the bulge was driving you crazy and you actually couldn't really wait anymore. "It's no problem. We actually kind of a share the house."

So you two went upstairs in a room that also had his walls painted in a dark color. You couldn't really make your surrounding out since you were to busy undressing and then exploring Jaehyun's body.

He led you to the bed and laid you down, so he could hover over you. He undressed you whilst you slid your fingers along his abs. When he was done he kissed you from your lips down to your stomach. Every now and then he left hickeys on your skin. You whimpered everytime he touched your inner thighs with his fingers. He stroke your inner thighs slowly upwards till he was on your core. His mouth came in contact with your ear as he whispered. "You're so wet for me babe. I love how you react to every touch I make." His voice was deep as he pinched your left breast. You whimpered again and goosebumps were making its way down your arms. You arched your back when he suddenly inserted a finger. He nibbled on your right breast and massaged the other with his hand that wasn't occupied with your lower body. After little time he inserted the next finger. You couldn't handle all of this anymore and you felt a bunch forming in your stomach. "Jaehyun...I-" you couldn't finish your sentence. Jaehyun quickened his pace with his fingers and his tongue. It didn't need much and you road of your orgasm. He maintained eye contact while he went down and licked all your juice up.

When you came down from your high, Jaehyun opened a drawer next to the bed and fetched a condom. "You okay babe? You can take more?" He asked while he looked back at you. His dark eyes showed sincerity. Instead of just answering you kissed him passionately and one hand wandered down his stomach to his cock. You wrapped your hands around it and pumped a few times. He groaned and let his head roll back. His eyes closed as he whispered sweet nothings in the air. He stopped your hand movements and slipped the condom over his cock. He positioned himself in front of your entrance and slid without a warning inside. You cried out and felt a single tear roll down your cheek. He swiped it away and kissed your cheeks. He waited till you were ready to take more of him. He began with a slow pace and from time to time he quickened it. You kissed his jaw down to his neck. You started to suck at his neck and he moaned at the feeling of your lips on his skin. "Jaehyun baby...I think I'm-" "No wait just a little bit more okay?" You nodded along. His movements became loppier and you knew he was also close. He kissed you sloppily and you moaned against his lips when you road off your next climax. Jaehyun still pumped a few times into you before he also reached his high.

He collapsed on you and you two breathed heavily. You could feel his breath on your neck. He slipped off his condom and you laid your head on his chest. He swung his arm around your middle and you two fall asleep.

You woke up from the feeling of a body that pulled you closer. The person hid his face in the crock of your neck. You heard a knock on the door. "Jaehyun I know you're in there. Wake up. The others already made breakfast." Sicheng's voice appeared behind the door. "And don't try to hide the fact that Y/N is also in there. We know what you two did last night. So hurry up and come down." Doyoung added. You were red as a tomato thanks to Doyoung's remark.

When you two arrived at the table in the kitchen, 12 eyes looked at you. You just sheepishly smiled and sat down without saying any word that could lead to a conversation you weren't willing to have. Jaehyun sst down next to you and this made you even more nervous.

"So you two lovebirds. Aren't gonna say anything important to us that might as well should be shared by now?" Johnny interrogated with a goofish smile.

"Well..uhmm..Y/N and I are together, I guess?" Jaehyun stated or more like questioned. You knew he wasn't sure if you saw it the same way he saw it. You two could just had a one night stand and there wasn't feelings on your side. But you quickly vanished his thoughts when you took his hand in yours and said proudly but also embarrassed. "Yeah. Today is our first day as a couple."

The others laughed at your awkwardness and you released a breath you didn't even know you were holding. "Finally. Ohh I thought you two wouldn't check it. I mean how dumb are you two that- oww. That hurt." Johnny pouted at his girlfriend whereas Carly glared at him. "Wait do you mean finally?" you asked confused. "Did you really never saw Jaehyun staring at you. He did it like everytime you were near us. I thought his eyeballs would fall out." Taeyong laughed as Jaehyun's ears reddened and he looked down in embarrassment.

The first day you two went to school and hold hands on the way to your class, other students gasped and it was quickly gossiped all over the campus that Jung Jaehyun was dating Y/N Y/L/N. Even now you couldn't believe how fast information were spread around the campus. It all felt surreal. Jaehyun the hot topic ever since you knew about him and you the nerd who anyone never really cared about. Now you were the center from all. Some students said negative things like you were after his money or you just wanted popularity others said you two looked really cute or simply envied you. You weren't familiar with all this attention and it definitely wasn't something you ever wanted but you had to deal with it, so it had to work somehow.

Your first date was the cutest shit ever. He took you to a romance movie and hold hands the entire time the film played. Once the movie was over you two went to the Hangang Park. You sat on a bench and talked for hours. He was such a nice gentlemen the whole day you couldn’t belive it. Sadness was visible on both of your faces when you had to say goodbye. He gave you kiss and left.

After a month Jaehyun convinced you to come with him to a party one of his friends was hosting. If you remembered right his name was Ten. He was holding a party in the top floor of his parents' hotel. You didn't knew how you should dress yourself as you didn't have such expensive clothes that all of the people on the party would have. You couldn't tell Jaehyun about your problem because you knew he would buy you a dress and that was te least you wanted him to do. You didn't knew how to pay him back.

A knock on your apartment door made you jump off the couch and walking towards it. You opened the door a gap and looked at the guest. It was a old man in a black suit. He had a white shirt under the suit and a black bowtie on. He also had thick glasses on. You looked at him expecting. What was an old man doing in front of your door? And why did he look like a chauffeur? "Hello my is Bervald. I'm here to give you this present from Mr. Jung. He is waiting in the car outside. Please dress quickly." He bowed and left the gift on the doorway. You quickly took the box and opened it. It was a salmon ruched side jumper dress and next to the dress were matching ankle boots. You quickly changed and put some makeup on. Just so much that it wouldn't look too bad. You stumbled out of your door and saw Jaehyun waiving through the window. He was sitting in a limousine and you honestly were overwhelmed by the view of your boyfriend sitting in it. Bervald opened the door for you and you gladly thanked him before entering the car.

"Hey babe." He greeted with a brief kiss on the lips. "Hey. Did you buy this dress for me? I don't know when I'll be able to pay you back." You said with an uncomfortable look. "I knew you would say this. It's okay. I bought this because I love you and I refuse to get money from you for this." He took your hand and placed his soft lips on top it. Then he smiled at you and you saw those dimples you loved so much on him. You couldn't be angry or anything with him when he was like this. So you smiled at him and nodded along.

When you arrived at the hotel you felt kinda nervous. You only knew Jaehyun at the party as he said that the others couldn't come. He took your hand in his and led you to the elevator. The elevator drove all the up to the top floor and when the doors opened you already saw what felt lika a thousand people partying. Most of them were already drunk. Jaehyun guided you through the mass of people and you were going stairs upwards to a room.

A security guard stood in front of the door. He had broad shoulders and looked serious. Jaehyun said his name and the name looked through what you assumed was a name list. After he found the name he stepped aside and you and Jaehyun could go in. The room was quieter. It played a different music than in the entrance.

A man approached you who was shorter than Jaehyun. He looked like a instance of a rich kid. Neatly, and well the look on his face that proverbial said I'm rich. But nonethelessly he looked like a really nice guy. He hugged Jaehyun. "Jaehyun, Hey. Is this your girlfriend everybody's talking about?" He then looked at you with a wide grin. "Nice to meet you. I'm Ten. With whom do I have the honor?" He stretched his hand for you to take out. You took his hand and shoke it. "I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you too."

He led you to a table with 3 other guys and 1 woman. You three sat down and Ten introduced them all to you. A man that looked as short as Ten was Taeil and he somehow sent the same vibes as Yuta. Right beside Taeil sat Mark. He was the same guy Yuta called on the party month ago. And Jungwoo was beside Mark. Mark seemed like a little boy and Jungwoo was really cute. The only other woman in the round was named Si Jin. She looked pissed off for no reason. Her attitude was rude toward you but to the others she was the nicest person altogether.

Jaehyun bend his head to you and said he would leave for a short time as Ten wants to show him something he just purchased. He kissed you on the cheek and then disappeared in another room. You were left with Si Jin.

"So you love Jaehyun?" She eyed you up and down. You couldn't feel more uncomfortable under her sight. "Yes, I do." You said more to yourself than to her. You never said those words to Jaehyun but he said it permanently to you. You disappointed yourself. Why was it like this?

“You seem more like the type of girl that is just after his money. Stay away from him.“ She said with arrogance. “I’m not after his money. And you’re not someone I obey. So don’t interfere in the relationship with Jaehyun because I don’t think you’re winning anything out of it.“ You snapped at her. She just laughed and spilled the drink she had in her hand over her dress. The others were coming back and Si Jin looked angry and sad at the same time. Ten was the first to arrive. “Si Jin what happened to you?“ “Y/N spilled the drink over me and insulted me because she thinks I’ve a thing for Jaehyun.“

Your mouth opened but nothing came out. You were shocked that she played such dirty tricks. You glanced at Jaehyun and he looked angry at you. Was he really believing her? “Y/N see what you did. Her dress is entirely transparent. How could you humiliate her like this?“ Ten yelled at you. “I wasn’t even the one who did this to begin with. Why would I do something like this. I now my limits.“ You said while feeling yourself getting angry. Your eyebrows furrowed and the displeasure of his words were truly visible on your face. “So are you blaming her? Why would she do this to herself hmm? She’s a good friend of mine and she wouldn’t do anything like this.“ Jaehyun rose his voice at you. It was the first time that he was so angry at you. Even the looks of his ignorance were better than this situation. Everyone in the room was now looking at the scenario that took place in front of them. Your heart shattered at the sight of your boyfriend. How could he have so little trust in you? You wanted to fight back at him but what would happen? He didn’t believe you indifferent of what you said. Tears showered your face but he didn’t care. “I would never do such a thing to a person and I thought you know me. But I guess I was wrong. You never trusted me in the first place. So bye Jaehyun. Have a good life.“ You mockingly said the last words before exiting the room and the hotel.

You walked all the way home. You couldn’t care less about the people that looked wary at you. You couldn’t stop thinking about the look you saw on Si Jin’s face before you left. She smiled mischievously at you. How come he didn’t notice this?

Back in your apartment Carly already waited at you. She expected you to come home smiling like an idiot or calling you and tell her you weren’t coming home. But she definitely never expected to see you crying like baby. She ran to you and gave you a heartwarming hug. “Hey, hey everything’s fine. Calm down.“ She ran his hand over your back in an attempt to soothe you. It just achieved the opposite and you were crying more and more. You missed Jaehyun and her hand on your back let you feel more miserable than you already were.

After you calmed down you told Carly the whole story. She couldn’t believe what she just heard. “You mean this bitch tricked everyone on the party? And Jaehyun didn’t took your side but instead hers? Is he this much of a dumbass?“ She was upset at Jaehyun. She suggested to wach a movie and she also brought ice cream. The two of you chatted the rest of the night away. You couldn’t stop thinking about Jaehyun but you didn’t want Carly to feel pity because she couldn’t help you.

The next day you weren’t in the condition to go to any lecture. You were heartbroken that’s for sure but you also had one of the worst headaches in your life. Thanks to your headache you throw frequently up. Besides you had to convince Carly to go to the lecture because she thought it would be better if she helped you. But you actually didn’t want to see anybody, so she gave in.

You slept most of the day away and when you woke up in the evening your headache thankfully mitigated. Carly left you a note on the kitchen counter. She went out with Johnny but she made you a soup. You just had to warm it up in the microwave. You looked at your phone for any notifications but the only persons that messaged you were Carly and Taeyong. Jaehyun didn’t wrote you nor called you. You ate the soup and answered Carly and Taeyong. After that you crawled under your blanket again and doze off to dreamland.

A slight touch on your shoulder woke you again. A part of you hoped it would be Jaehyun but it were Johnny and Carly. You looked disappointed at them and they took care of you for the rest of the day. They wanted to drag you out but you denied. So you just sat in the living room and they called the others over. Expect Jaehyun everyone was there. You played cards and you weren’t so good at it. You lost like every round but it felt not as frustated as you felt about Jaehyun. Your sadness kinds turned into frustration.

The next week you went to school like how you used to before you knew Jaehyun. Of course they had to be rumors about you. A girl came to you and said. “He finally realized what a hoe you are.“ Then she left. What the hell was wrong with those people? It wasn’t their relationship, so why did everyone want to be a part of it? When you met Jaehyun in class you ignored him. It wasn’t that hard because he did the same with you. But sometimes you would feel him glance at you. You didn’t thought much into it and just continued to listen to the prof.

Even if you were mentally exhausted, you still had to go to work. Every hour you spent there felt like torture. The customers were more rude than before since they knew about the break up. You snapped at a student one day because he said you were too bad in bed to be togehter with. Also you explained yourself to your boss she was beyond pissed. You couldn’t allow you another mistake like this. You smiled at everyone despite their nasty remarks. Your nights were spent crying in your bed. You didn’t care if Carly heard you. You just didn’t wanted this life anymore. Everybody turned their backs to her expect from her few friends she had. Although she was thankful for the friends she gained, she couldn’t help but feel sad. They were still Jaehyun’s friend and you still missed him to death.

Taeyong took you to a new opened cafe one day. He said he felt miserable for yu so he wanted to make you at least a litlle happy. You didn’t commented on this as both of you knew nothing would change your feelings right now. The cafe was rather full but it was nice decorated. There stood fresh flowers on every table and the walls were in a bright orange. It looked new but fancy. The atmosphere felt like the total opposite of the cafe your were working at. but before you could deepen your thoughts Taeyong spoke. “I ordered an Iced Americano for you. I hope you still like it.“ “Ah...yes I still like it.“ You said hesitant. You never talked with him about your favorite drink so why did he knew it? You sat with him for quiet a while before the order was finally ready.

When Taeyong wasn’t coming back with the orders you looked the cafe up for him. He was nowhere to be found. “Y/N, it’s nice to meet you again. I really missed you.“ You heard a very familiar voice saying. There he stood with the two orders in his hand. The person you missed the most out of all. Jaehyun. He had a black jeans and a loosely light blue t-shirt on. For once in the time you saw him he didn’t look like a someone who is rich. he looked like a decent human being. You couldn’t see his face because he managed to also hold a big bouquet of flowers. He hesitantly put the drinks on the table and sat the opposite from you down. The flowers were neatly placed in the middle of the table. “You know..“ he bagan “I was really dumb. I mean I knew you would never do this but I wasn’t thinking in that moment. I don’t know why I said those things to you and ...I’m really sorry. I know this isn’t enough but I couldn’t think of anything else. I just wanted to be honest to you.“ He took your hands in his “Y/N I miss you like crazy. There isn’t a night I don’t think about you and feel like crap. I know this is chliché but what I did was wrong and again I’m truly sorry.“ You could see the sincerity in his eyes but you still weren’t convinced. “If you were so sorry why didn’t you come a week ago?“ Jaehyun couldn’t look you in the eyes as he said his next words. “I was embarrassed. I thought you would hate me to death and...and I didn’t know how to approach you. You never looked at me and you were always the first out of the lecture hall. I was being cowardly and I’m sorry for this.“ A smile creeped its way to your face and you started to laugh. He looked confused at you before you answered his question that was visibly on his face written. “You’re just too cute Jaehyun. I know you’re sorry and I already forgave you but it was too funny to see your ears getting redder.“ You said inbetween laughs. He smiled at your silliness and you died internally when you saw his dimples you missed so much.

“I love you Y/N.“ He spoke up after a short pause. “I love you too, you idiot.“

#jaehyun #NCT #nct jaehyun #nct imagines #nct scenarios #jaehyun scenarios #nct x reader #nct smut #nct fluff #nct angst

[djxrxn]

more cuddle headcanons

everyone really liked the cuddle hcs for the main three bucket boys, (which is right here!!), and i wanted to try out some characters that i would like to write for in the future. this post is all star wars characters, i’ll make a different post later on with the pascal characters !!

also, the phasma fic is taking A Bit Longer because it’s going to be a pretty big fic (it’s currently at 5.1 k and i still have a lot to work on). school also just started, so please bear with me!! i will have it up as soon as possible, in the meantime, i’ll post some smaller projects like this!! enjoy!!

warnings: cursing, some mentions of sexual content

w/c: about 2.1k

cobb vanth

i honestly think an argument can be made that cobb vanth is one of the most partner-material guys in the galaxy far far away. he’s very personable, he’s overall pretty warm - he’s an expert in affectionate, sweet shit. he’s always bringing up cuddling together or curling up in the corner of the cantina of Mos Pelgo, you’re not gonna have to strong arm him for love at all!

i think cobb likes to lay on you - like he’ll lay his head on your tummy or in your lap. play with his hair, scratch his head, maybe sing your marshal a little song !! i dont see him falling asleep, but if YOU’RE tired, he’ll absolutely do the same thing for you - you can lay on him, and he’ll sing  little tune and you can drift off to sleep.

little spoon, don’t EVEN try to argue, this man is the little spoon, please hold him, wrap your arms around him, he loves it !! he’ll lay his head on your chest, or lean his head back to give you little kisses and wink at you. 

very fine with pda, actually speaking of kisses, will steal them all DAY long. you’re trying to work on the speeder bike that’s been busted for months?? cobb is gonna be hanging around your work station, waitin for the perfect moment to give you a little peck on the cheek. (). i dont even think he’s a like “cuddly partner,” i think he’s just super friendly, and if he’s in a relationship, he’s gonna want to be hanging around you and getting a bunch of affection. and AGAIN no toxic masculinity here - there’s no shame or like embarrassment when you want to hold hands or kiss in public, like he’s all for it!

okay i- this is not necessarily sexual, but okay hear me out. i live somewhere super hot, and the best way to be is inside, in the dark, fan on high and as little clothes as possible. so i think for somewhere like mos pelgo, if he’s got some down time at home, he’s absolutely stripping down to as few layers as possible (if at all). so you know, dont be surprised if you’re hanging out at his place, and he walks around in like his (underwear), it’s just really hot and he has to wear a lot of layers, he’s sweating 

bo katan kryze

fuck you, i like bo

this will be a short section just because she is not very cuddly at all, and in general, is pretty cold and icy. i don’t know if she doesn’t like affection and pda if she’s just not interested, or if she’s extremely defensive and really wants to push that she’s a stone cold badass and has no weaknesses. 

if you manage to get bo to sort of slow down and relax, and she is in a relationship with you, she’ll show affection in like acts and services, specifically when it comes to your safety. like she’ll run extra patrols and will do everything in her power to make sure you are never in danger. the most cuddly she gets is when you sleep next to her every night, and even then you both have like Your Own Space when sleeping. listen, there’s probably a lot of depth in bo katan, and how much she’s lost (a lot of it sort of her own fault), and how much she wants to regain and take back, and the lengths she is willing to go to, and like listen we all have weak moments, like obviously she’s gonna wanna have your head in her lap SOMETIMES. but she’s also a top and SHe’s BuSY so you know.

koska reeves & axe wolves

i’m combining these two here in one section, wow

FUCK YOU, I LIKE AXE. out of all three of the like Mandalore mandalorians, i think he’s the most like affectionate. i think once you win him over, and show you’re not gonna ghost him or like idk try to kill him, i think he’s pretty casual. you can lay on him, and he’s cool with laying on you. he’s not really embarrassed with pda - he’s not like Against it completely, but he likes a quick kiss here and there. very sweet boy, very kind and gentle, he will flirt with you even after you get together, like its a constant stream of like cheesy pick up lines and one liners, he’s very dorky. just a dumb nerd, why are y’all so MEAN to him smh embarrassing

koska…,..,.,..,.., what a WOMAN. i think she’s like halfway between axe and bo in terms of affection in a relationship. like i think you have to build up a lot of trust, and establish a like respect between the two of you, but like she has no problem with letting you lounge around and curl up with her. i also think she’s gonna be protective, but honestly that’s a mando thing. they care about the people who care about them. i don;t think she gives a single fuck, so if you want to makeout in public, or even just want to hold her hand because your nervous, she absolutely wil let you like she does not seem the kind to like deny/reject you, you know? anyways i am in love with koska, sasha banks i am free every day i love u queen we stan

fennec shand

the one the ONLY. the most exciting thing about fennec is that she literally doesn’t give a fuck, so pda?? yeah, if you like fennec’s hand on your waist and her tongue down your throat and don’t mind other people around, shes super down with giving you some love in public. that’s not to saw she’s down with like fucking in public or in front of people, shes just not ashamed of her relationship and cares more about you than what other people think of you two. 

big spoon!! lay in her arms, let her cradle you and take care of you!! i think she also really enjoys you laying your head in her lap (i have another drabble about this here) but that way she can trace your face, or play with your hair if you like your hair played with, or even just kiss your nose.

you two normally lounge around in boba’s palace. there’s some sofas and lounge areas in the throne room that you two curl up on, but there’s a balcony on one of the upper levels that’s your favorite spot. you can lay next to her and enjoy her affections while the stars slowly drag themselves into the night sky. you’re away from prying eyes, and you can discuss your future with her and where you both might travel tom if you can sneak away for a few days. she’ll tell you all of the gossip of the crime world and all of the people boba and her have to sort through to establish the new king of the underbelly of the galaxy. its your and hers spot!! just a place to vibe and cuddle in peace. 

fennec doesn’t really sleep. she’s a mapper, rather than her like conking out for nine hours at a time. she doesn’t mind if you like sleep, you can sleep on her anytime !! lay your head on her shoulder, or on her chest — she‘ll keep you safe while you drift off to sleep. 

maul

maul is pretty grumpy, i have a cuddly drabble with him you can read here, but for the most part i think maul is the standard grumpy guy who doesn’t mind curling up with his s/o when they want to !! there are gonna be times where he’s not interested in touch or physical contact — maul has days that he needs space and time, whether he’s processing and meditating on past events, or if he’s just in need of maul-time. the best thing to do in those days is wait for him to sort of open the proverbial door to let you back in, or to wait until he crawls into your lap or into your bed to rest. 

he normally won’t refuse affections, but i the mornings he wakes up and all he can think about is your skin against his, or how sweet your eyes are, he’s not letting you do ANYTHINg. he wants your head on his CHEST he wants you in his ARM you are CUDDLING RIGHT NOW

i don’t really see maul being a little spoon (yes i do, i’m pretty tall so everyone is a little spoon if you’re under 5’11) BUT i think maul likes to hold you against his chest, and to wrap his arms around you. theres a protective element too. everything has been taken from maul, and he likes knowing your safe in his arms. if u DO catch his being a little spoon, he’s gonna be grumpy and very snickety with you. 

i don’t know how much you’’ be going out and about with maul, but pda just from a safety perspective is gonna be a soft know. if you’re in public with him, he’ll always be around you — maybe his hand will rest on your lower back or shoulder, or maybe a few of his fingers will curl around yours. just don’t expect to be making out in public, your relationship is taken very seriously by maul, and he’ll want to be careful and err on the side of caution.

maul likes it when you kiss him. he likes it when you pepper kisses all over his cheeks and along his jaw, he likes when you trace his marks and tattoos and place little kisses on his chest. something sweet and warm blooms in his chest when you reach over to pull his hand over so you can kiss his knuckles. its a gentle affection that no one has ever wanted to give maul. he sort of gives you the cold shoulder after the first few kisses, but he quickly is addicted with the unconditional love and attention and affection you give him. 

obi wan

okay here me out, so jedis are not allowed like attachments, so i don’t thing like Legally Officially you can cuddle with obi wan oh no sad BUT. that is not to say, if maybe, idk, there’s only one seat left on the star destroyer home, or only one BED while you too are on a very important jedi MISSION, well i mean. it’s not obi wan’s fault if you two end up cursing up, right? i mean, it is a little chilly on this planet, so it’s smart to stay together. for warmth. 

you’re gonna end up with your legs tangled, your arms around his neck, your hands tangled in his mullet — hes warmer than you expected, he radiates heat. maybe it’s how strong he is in the force, or if he’s just a warm body (or even if beneath the cool exterior, his blood runs hot) but you won’t need a ton of blankets if you have him. 

big spoon, a lot of like Vanilla Top energy from him. like i think if you do end up spooning or fucking, it’s gonna be simple. kenobi’s knowledge of sex and relationships is going to be very limited, and his experience is gonna be pretty limited as well. he knows the like most Basic position, the most Basic way to get you both off. if you continue with your relationship and trust each other more, and you can teach him a few tricks, he’ll warm up to the idea of you being a big spoon and maybe even topping.

obviously no pda, but when you’re around him, his sort of Presence makes itself more known to you, like you Feel him more than you would other people, even if he’s a few rooms away, you Know he’s near by you. it’s nothing sharp or crazy explicit in terms of like I FEEL HIS AURA AND SHIT like it’s just something gentleman reassuring and it’s all Him. little moments with him — meeting his eye across the room, your hands bumping into his, his hands lingering on you when he passes for just a moment longer than they should — it’s all you have with obi, and you cherish them so deeply. obi wan is gonna think about your affection long after you leave him — it’s an emotional thing for him. it’s the one point of contact and affection, and as much as you think about obi wan and your little moments, obi wan thinks about them more.

#i hope there aren'tt any mistakes #im not fixing them sjdcskdjcnskjdc #if u want to see someone else #or want a drabble #send an ask #ill work on those #next two fics im really gonna try to post are personal reasons #and then either mediator or the next max chapter #u know #whatever comes next #bo katan x reader #bo katan x you #bo katan kryze #axe woves #axe woves x reader #koska reeves #koska reeves x reader #maul x reader #darth maul x you #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan kenobi #star wars #cobb vanth x reader #cobb vanth x you #star wars self insert #:)

[leonardalphachurch]

ask game: simmons and/or delta

oh i only saw the preview for this and did simmons. delta coming soon i guess

late af but this was actually really fun i don’t think about simmons enough

Why I like them as an insane person i can say this: simmons is fucking insane. he simultaneously thinks he's the greatest person fucking ever in existence and literally the lowest of the low. he wants nothing more than to be the best subservient underling ever and to murder his boss to take over and run everything. if he doesnt have a rigid structure he loses his mind but he literally only chooses to be in the most chaotic situations possible. he would kill without a second thought but havea moral crisis over drinking milk out of the carton. hes gay and hes homophobic. whats not to love. hes maybe the literally the funniest sleeper character.

Why I don’t too relateable LMAO. also not a fan of the like, weird nerd misogyny hes got going on. imagine if chorus like actually had him learn to respect his team instead of just jokes about him being afraid of them.

Favorite episode we’re so fucking bad at this please. maybe the one were he makes wash his dad. that was so funny.

Favorite season SEASON 4 he was so good in season 4. simmons has LITERALLY no loyalty and we stan him for that.

Favorite line i feel like simmons doesnt really have a lot of good one liners? he usually plays straight man and his comedy is more situational. but like we also have shit trash memory so. uh his eulogy for sarge was funny. WAIT NO its when he says that he can- here let me pull it up

Simmons: If you want me to multiply two big numbers in my head, that I can do. [...]

Grif: What's thirty-two times fifty-six

Simmons: Thirty-one thousand, four hundred fifty-two.

Sarge: Is that right?

Simmons: Yes.

Sarge: That's pretty impressive.

Simmons: Eh, you know, it's a gift.

the answer is 1,792. he says it with so much confidence. he’s off by thirty thousand. grif and sarge just believe him. PERFECT encapsulation of simmons' character.

Favorite outfit halo 3's maroon that was like, a little magenta? so fucking good

out of armor outfit he'd wear a button up 24/7. this exact fucking shirt

simmons this you???

OTP is there even a question that its grimmons. hello

Brotp simmons and church are good together. literally the only way i can think to describe them is like. platonic kismeses. they argue about technology and star trek. they made out once when they were drunk and neither of them talk about it.

Head Canon

-hes trans and gay. thats basically canon

-hes got ocpd (and a billion other anxieties)

-hes a software guy not a hardware guy which means he has no fucking idea how to take care of his cyborg parts

-hes really into weaponry (as all good reds are)

Unpopular opinion i dont think simmons’ dad was incredibly evil i think he was just like a normal abusive father. he just doesnt seem like his backstory should get to be that interesting

A wish make grimmons canon stop fucking queerbaiting oh my god

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen he isnt straight. dont make him straight

5 words to best describe them

anxiety, math, contradictory, kissass, spreadsheet

My nickname for them cinnamon

#okay i try to avoid bringing fictive stuff into these since they come out better if i talk about this stuff as a fan of fictional characters #instead of as some guys i used to know BUT. as a church fictive. it was hard not to say ‘nothing suck it red’ for the first question #ask game #asks #anonymous #simmons #also how do i fix the formatting of the block quote. fuck tumblr mobile.

[brw]

Tony Stark and Reed Richards for the character ask thing

TONY STARK

how i feel about this character: 😬 ngl i... don't care for him. at all. i don't vehemently hate him, there's definitely times where i appreciate him & his personality but it's few and far between and i... genuinely do not get the hype. i think its mostly mcu fans' fault for my dislike, its just he's fucking EVERYWHERE now, it's impossible to miss him? like he plays a big role in EVERY avengers comic now, he gets ongoing titles all the time, and it's just so frustrating especially when you consider characters who used to be more or less on the same level on them (like hank pym! who, by the way, has been dead for 6 consecutive years! that would never happen with tony!) or even more popular than him now get streamlined because of the mcu's popularity. by himself, i don't really mind him that much, but with how famous he is now and how large and frankly annoying his fan base is i just... now really do not like the character.

all the people i ship romantically with this character: short list here; reed, because i find their dymanic of reed as someone who does everything for his family and will do everything and anything he can to protect their interests above everyone else but also wants to keep his hands clean and believes, genuinely, in the good of the world, and tony as someone who will do horrendous things in the name of the greater good who always has the bigger picture in mind interesting. i also don't know a lot about it but he seems cute with rhodey? even if i think rhodey deserves a bigger chance to be his own character away from tony as is sometimes denied i can always appreciate a good best friends to lovers dymanic :)

my non romantic otp for this character: um? i honestly don't know 😭 i don't like him enough to say, i guess him n reed again? him n rhodey again? help 😭😭😭

my unpopular opinion of this character: he does not deserve the fame he has. like, i dont mean to sound jealous or whatever but pre 2007 movie he was not the most well liked character or even that popular. like obviously he had fans because he had solo series on and off for a very long time but it just feels SO ridiculous that tony stark has a bigger fandom than the fucking fantastic four. THE FANTASTIC FOUR. marvel's first superhero team, and yet??? like okay. he might have things to offer i don't see. he obviously does, i mean, he got three movies and multiple solo series. but he has most certainly not got enough as a character to overshadow the fantastic four, the x-men, etc and i will never forgive the mcu & mcu fans (and mark miller, he deserves blame too) for making it so. again, by himself he's fine but it is ridiculous to me that a one note white character that appeared in his third film (harley keener or... whatever) has 2000s more fics than THE PROTAGONIST OF INTO THE SPIDERVERSE, MILES MORALES. it is just... so vile and frustrating to me.

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: he didn't exist <3 jk jk um i'm not sure? i guess it would be funny if he was like... stick thin underneath the armour. like idk. he's in the armour 24/7 it makes sense to me for him to be a skinny little nerd under there. like completely fucking small. like you can't be a superhero AND be a billionaire and avoid all those taxes AND run the avengers AND run multiple massive corporations and still work out... even if you take away eating and sleeping there's just not enough time... it would be funny if he was just a tiny little boy underneath all that djndndbf

my otp: gonna say him and rhodey again. like i say, can never resist a good best friends to lovers dymanic.

my cross over ship: jdjshdhdh literally none i don't think about him enough to consider it <3

headcanon fact: 100% think he was the one to offer reed that money to star in a p*rno it's just so funny to me to imagine dhsnndnd

REED RICHARDS

how i feel about this character: HE'S MY BOY! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! like i guess it's paradoxical considering how similar he is to tony in some ways but man i just love reed so much. i so genuinely think reed richards is what tony stark fans want him to be. like they (mcu fans) make up elaborate headcanons of him being a good dad and an ethical billionaire and its like no that's reed richards? canonically he's gone broke bc he refuses to get money off his inventions... u have the wrong man... anyway he's also an asexual LEGEND i do not take criticism and ofc. autistic icon. literally he's so autistic it makes me <3 i love him dearly.

all the people i ship romantically with this character: it would be easier to list the people i DON'T ship with him lol. sue, obviously, victor ofc, and ben are the big ones, but i just LOVE his dymanic with t'challa and i think they would rlly work it... i also love the idea of him with namor, idk with victor it's just so funny to imagine reed as like. bizarrely attractive to rulers of foreign countries. blackagar faces the same problem <3 i also do believe him n hank pym dated in college for a bit... all their weird little microaggressions towards each other just makes me feel that way... again i do like him w/ tony and i made this weird au where he and emma frost got together which if prompted i WILL talk about. probably. more but yeah <3

my non romantic otp for this character: while i do LOVE them together as lovers i just love. benreed generally <3 like they're LITERALLY besties they love each other sm and i'm tired of pretending they don't????? so many people ignore this relationship and it makes me so sad!!! they're best friends they love each other fight for each other fight with each other theyre literally besties... smh put some respect on the benreed name 😤

my unpopular opinion of this character: i don't think this is that unpopular but it is in certain circles so! i genuinely think reed is the best marvel dad! like you can talk abt others all u want but the fact is that reed is the only character i can think of who has always been there in his kid's lives and has consistently put their needs first. like not saying other characters are bad but even at his worst writing he's always done his best for his kids and certainly has been full of love for them. other characters at their worse have. murdered their own kids <3 genuinely he's the best marvel dad and sure there's not a lot of competition but. yeah <3

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character: I WANT A CANONICAL AUTISM DIAGNOSIS NOW. literally he is SO autistic & there are... no big autistic marvel characters! at all! literally none! the closest we have is legion (who was written in an incredible ableist way and autism hasnt been used to describe him in a solid 30 years) and monet (and it turned out it wasn't monet but one of her twin sisters impersonating her :/) so it would just mean so much to see a canonically autistic character like reed who is older & has a wife and kids who he loves and who they love in return on panel. like so much of the rep we DO have is like, young kids or teens and idk an autistic adult would just mean so much to me. especially one like reed who is as selfless & loving as he is.

my otp: tie between doomreed and reedsue! any option that gets this noodle nerd lots of love i'm good for tbh

my cross over ship: him and ralph dibney from dc should date... they have so much in common... stretchy autistic man who's very smart and kind of silly who loves his wife sue who pegs him 🥴 they'd have so much to talk about sjbdhdhd also imagining the look on ben's face realising there's TWO of them is. so funny.

headcanon fact: he's aromantic he's asexual and neither of these stop him from his very meaningful & passionate relationship with his wife :)

assorted character ask game!

#oh boy i do not shut up. #long post #thank you for asking! #esteicy-blog #tony stark #anti tony stark #i guess?? idk dhdjdh #ch: i believe we endure #ask games} answers

[devilrainbunnie]

What clique do you think Shiggy and Dabi would be in if they were in hs/college? And what kinda student would they both be?

this is a good question honestly, and after some fair debate in my mind about it, here’s what i came up with— also dont mind me casually changing things up because i’m an inconsistent prick and unable to choose just one form of something (talking about my layout and format for answering asks):

(for starters, in this setting i’m making both dabi and shigaraki roommates)

Shigaraki:

more of a goody-goody, especially in college because afterall theres money involved in that shit and who wants to waste it??

he’s very studious, he’s working constantly on school and probably takes half of his classes online so he can have more private time to himself to work on stuff

he might not be the most organized and quite frankly loses stuff, but somehow always ends up with perfect grades

don’t ask him for help though, it annoys him. figure it out yourself or get a tutor. he doesn’t have all the time in the world

tomura is smart as fuck after all, i cant see him not absolutely thriving in college education wise. he might be a weirdo sometimes but he stays on top of his stuff

he enjoys college, he actually has friends here. not like high school

he definitely is more quiet, and in high school i have no doubts he would get picked on for stuff

he probably had a very small friend group in high school, maybe just online friends

in college though, i feel like he’d make a lot more friends, (basically just dabi)

tomura is probably apart of some esports team at school

or robotics club, something involved with technology or gaming

all in all, i think the two of them would become friends and shigaraki, despite being an absolute lonely nerd in high school would be apart of the stoners/dealers, or the party animals

but as i said, in high school he was probably an outcast. disliked

he probably starts partying after a shit ton of pure pressure from dabi after a while, and that’s how people begin to notice him around campus. after he has some drinks in him, he gets really bubbly and nice

i don’t think girls like him much, he’s too shy and they get judgemental over it. dabi tries to help but keeps calling him a “lost cause”

you can blame dabi for corrupting poor tomu

Dabi:

dabi would most definitely be the same little rebellious, angsty brat he still is

his dad paid for his entire college experience, and even slipped some under the table to get him in there, but he still doesn’t try hard with school

i mean after all, he literally despises enji

who cares if he goes in debt for him? not dabi

i don’t think he spends nearly as much time or effort as tomura on school, i honestly think he manipulates tomura or pays him to do his homework sometimes

or sometimes he finds a sweet, gullible quiet girl on campus to get to do his homework

despite all that, he’s pretty smart and does decently well on his tests, even though he barely studies or anything

his grades aren’t perfect, but they’re enough to get him to progress

in high school, i feel he was kind of in the same type of clique. full of stoners, dealers, rebels, and people who lived to party

i could see him skipping class constantly, smoking joints or cigs behind the school with his friends, going to abandoned places to tag shit, being disrespectful to his teachers— just being an absolute menace

he probably always broke their dress code too, no doubt

all in all, i think in college the rebellion lessened. he stopped being so aggressive about things, and just kind of had fun with it

sure he doesn’t tolerate anything he deems disrespectful from anyone, and he’ll be the first to tell a security officer to go fuck themselves over even a greeting— he’s not skipping out, and constantly getting in trouble anymore

he’s not apart of any club, maybe besides one he doesn’t ever have to show up at, and it looks good on his transcript

he’s not interested in much that has to do with school, probably besides science or history

i think he’d start becoming popular with the ladies more too, especially because of his natural charming, mysterious, and aloof nature

he usually talks to these girls at parties, typically where he meets everyone he knows. after all, dabi is practically the life of the party, and he knows how to brighten the mood of any group of people

#more of a drabble #idk #i did this on my phone yet again #too lazy to get my laptop #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki headcannons #dabi headcannons #dabi x reader #dabi bnha #bnha au #bnha x reader #not my usual format #i’m so sorry LMAO i’m inconsistent #it’s my brand #dabi #shigaraki

[faorism]

needing the au to drop wherein i can commit to writing a historical au,, because since i first watched the db cooper job my mind went straight to OT3! OT3! OT3! (unlike with the van gogh job, since i aint playing with that fucking lieutenant)

one day maybe one dayyyyy i will sit down and i will write the ot3 into that episode's story. so, it'll be the backgrounds for the characters in the flashback (so, stephanie ritter, steve reynolds, and reggie wilkins), but with the necessary personality adjustments (parker, eliot, and hardison respectively). basically, vintage ot3 with some hot as hell aesthetics and secrets and avoiding as much as possible producing copraganda.

so. my thoughts. what i see happening. and this got super long so im throwing this under a cut. and for ease i will call them by their modern day canon names except when making a point.

first, general thoughts about the characters.

and so: steve to eliot. nothing much here on the surface. eliot still volunteers, too much an indoctrinated white man to have been forcibly drafted. so its still one man gone to war. one man come back. eliot would had been noticed early in training for his ability to pick shit up, and they teased at maybe sending him to a special unit. maybe they do, or maybe they don't because they just need to funnel fuckers to the jungle. the vietnam invasion was a terrorist imperialist venture and there's no romanticizing from me about anything done being at all valorous or special or brother-in-arms'y. and eliot commits war crimes under the american stars and stripes instead of just to keep moreau's champaign running. but also maybe moreau is eliot's superior. he certainly would have been rewarded for this ruthlessness. (eliot of course strove to impress moreau because there aint an eliot spencer who wasn't that man's dog at some point, i!!!! dont make the rules). eliot's friend died and eliot's gone off to carry out his wishes and moreau lets him because he Knows eliot is gonna come back. whether its to come back to the same squad, or follow him into deeper spy shit for the military, or to fuck off and go private. then eliot meets parker.

now. stephanie to parker. beth plays normal so well im mad at her, but there's something edgy and strategic about stephanie that i think parker can grab onto. i feel that maybe she was kind of a thief still, but there's more realism to this world so archie wasnt a super secret spy with lasers to practice with, but just a guy with sticky fingers whos a little bored and wants a protege. parker is good really good at what she does, and not having to deal with lasers makes me easy. but she's into scams that are less grifts and more Catch Me If You Can slight of hands. she's always looking for easy money (she was into lifting cars at one point! literally she follows where the crime is). she's doing something in an airport and someone tries to recruit her as a flight attendant because she's got the Look. and yall, flight attendants? that shit was like being a model and an astronaut and a time traveler back then. and according to a teacher i had, who once worked as in the f.a. union, those ladies back in the day were rad and queer and free spirited and runnnnning shit. i think, yes, it's a Job which i think we might resist placing parker into. but! of the jobs, at the time, i really see her rocking it during the time period. (also come on, the opportunities to swindle distracted people of their shit would be endless. they would just think they dropped their stuff in the airport! not that it was stolen.)

finally, reggie to alec. i think hardison will be the hardest to translate. even tho i admittedly listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, i dont know much about fbi life and also definitely don't know about it historically. part of me desperately wants to put him somewhere else even if it does have to stay within the fbi. i might cheat and make him like a Q(uartermaster) to 007/00s like in james bond, and he's like UGH this is horrible god i hate working for the fbi but they will give me funding so...... anyway, here's this totally cool [radio term]. that said, if hardison is stuck in the fbi, why he ends up there is that he is a fucking savant when it comes to research and the man can put together a presentation like no one else. that white man gets all the credit for profiling but it was hardison who goddamn was the google of the microfilm days. reggie felt super square but that might be because he had to deal with mcsweeties db cooper shit day in and day out for years. hardison is more himself. and definitely still a nerd. alec would be into dime fantasy novels and comics and ham radios and oh god he also would be into star trek like the original star trek as it came out and he would be into the zines yes! yessss. omg. also he plays a mean arcade cabinet. but he's mostly well adjusted but lonely. his colleagues dont appreciate him because fbi esp during that time were fucking wilding out and racist as hell aaaaaand im sorry im srry im trying so hard to have fbi hardison make sense but also! acab. ANYWAY.

second, the relationship

i think it would be fun to play with what it means to have parker/eliot start off first and bring in hardison afterwards. (if white collar is your thing, it would be like this canon divergent ot3 fic wherein peter burke is the last to join in.) i feel they would be Super Intense esp since they are carrying this big ass secret. kind of broken and dysfunctional and there's the passion and the commitment, but i think there's also a tenderness that's super hard for them to achieve? and i think there's a way that hardison plays such an important part in who they are and how they are. like, sure i think parker/eliot would have joy but they won't have levity. they would have compassion but they won't have gentleness.

eliot meets hardison after being recruited by nate. i think they get close because while nate and eliot have an interesting and compelling mentorship/friendship, nate is still eliots superior; sometimes its nice to complain about your boss, as hardison will say to eliot to try to make friends. i think hardison and eliot would become legit friends and not just work buddies because they are just not cut out of the same cloth as the rest of their colleagues. they grab beers after work. after hard days, hardison cajoles eliot into going to the arcade. they are friends. real real truly deep best friends, in a way hardison didn't think he could have with a fed and eliot didnt think he would have after his friend died. but also? they are like "buds" who are buds who are desperately tryna to cross any lines because there's a.... tension? an UST between them they dont know what to do with.

parker meets eliot by way of a "lets have my friend for dinner, he's a blast." and immediately immediately hardison is like... wow this woman is beautiful but like, really attracted to her personality. and parker things hardison is kinda dorky but cute dorkie? anyway, they have a puppy love situation growing. and it keeps growing until bam. eliot and parker are like. are we into alec???? fuck we are aren't we.

i think stephanie and steve would never tell reggie (even if somehow they were to be a thing). but parker and eliot? hell yeah they tell hardison. eventually. after a while. sooner than maybe they should. the tension if they should say something is one of the things that build up as UST between them for so long; parker and eliot know they are carrying this huge thing. two huge things. eliot being db cooper and also their massive crush on him.

if i could control myself to stick to a pwp, it would be another christmas. maybe the christmas nine (more?) years down the road. the damn snow grounded hardison's flight back to his nana's, and parker and eliot hear this and invite him over. the egg nog gets flowing and parker eventually is like,, fuck this. and comes onto hardison. and hardison would be like wow wow what but... idk, free love and swinging were In The Thoughts And Minds Of The People. he still checks in with eliot who is like. her body, man; i aint gonna tell her what to do. and for a sec hardison is like, man is this a cuck situation? i guess i can be for it but also...... aint mad if i aint alone. and eliot is so grateful and idk. i just want them all to be happy and having fun and no one to be left out. and yeah i am kinda brushing over a lot of the racial politics which, in a more developed fic rather than a pwp, would definitely need to be brought in; but idk that needs to just be in the bedrock of whatever plot is going into this.

it takes a lot of maneuvering of their lives but they make it work and eventually hardison is a keeper of eliot's secret too.

(apart from the historical aspect, another reason i probably won't actually write this is because i know myself. i would want to do worldbuilding. i would follow eliot and alec to their jobs, but i wouldnt want to write outright copaganda. the grit/realism i would be comfortable with would take a level of research i dont think i can commit to. but if someone wants to take this up or if you figure out a way around this issue, pls do i wont be mad)

#eliot spencer #parker leverage #alec hardison #leverage #thiefsome #okay i srsly am not this active but this week got me wanting to talk and talk about these three beauties #the db cooper job

[morwensteelsheen]

farawyn and borodred for the ship ask game thing?

thank you so much!! :)

okay i’ll start with borodred because for some unfathomable reason i actually got there first —

1. What made you ship it?

One of my favourite Types of ships is the Elder Statesmen Of War-type set-ups, where it’s less about people brought together through theatrical romantic gestures and more about the steadiness of people who are going through similar (immensely difficult) circumstances, who know that in their hearts they’re always going to put their duty to that cause first, but still seek out human comfort in other people who will understand what their priorities are and why.

I think there’s also a lot of similarities about the kind of helplessness they both face despite having this tremendous innate strength. Both of them still have to deal with family dynamics that are complex (made more complex by the war) and that can’t be fixed just by their own sheer will power; both of them die these utterly unnecessary deaths (not that death makes a ship but I think in this instance it actually points to the constant tragedy these guys face); and both of them are meant to be the principal figures of their families and people and are ultimately sidelined by the cruel mechanisations of war and the forward march of history or whatever wanky term there is for it — my apologies to ep thompson's ghost, dont haunt me bro.

Plus there’s obviously the interesting thread raised when Faramir starts bitching about Gondor and likens Gondor (and by very explicit extension, Boromir) to Rohan. That always made me go ‘Hmmmmmm, wonder what else Boromir liked about Rohan,’ lmao.

Anyways for me the ship is the equivalent of Star Wars’ Kanan and Hera or (my OTP to end all others) Luke and Wedge, just people getting by on love and duty and without big ol fancy romance.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

The fanon, I think, really makes it, as with so many other LOTR ships. battlefield manners, by themightypen is essentially the definitive take for me on them — these two guys who are just so fucking exhausted, man, but still overcome by defensive love for their families, even if their (foster-)siblings are naïve fools. That I just love, love, love. Plus I think they’re unique for their ability to pretty comfortable explore the relationship between Gondor & Rohan in advance of the Ring War without having to stray too far into AU, which I always appreciate.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really, tbh, except in that I don’t think Boromir is necessarily as laddy as people like to portray him. I’m happy to play into it in, say, my modern AUs because I think that’s a fun and sweet niche for him, but I am a bit 🤪 about Boromir as this kind of reckless, drunken playboy (not least because I think that’s a much funnier niche for Faramir to fill, at least when he’s younger). Chapter Four of Swaddledog’s Hearts and Minds gets my preferred Boromir characterisation absolutely spot on, I think.

And now, sigh, the ultimate OTP, Farawyn —

1. What made you ship it?

For starters, I think I am obsessed with Éowyn in a way I’ve never quite been obsessed with any other fictional character. I came to reading LOTR at this moment in my life where I was intensely frustrated about everything — trapped inside permanently (helplessly!) because of the pandemic, just starting a new political organisation that I truly believed in but that was still making me feel like shit, facing down an untenable about of work, and, fundamentally, really, really hating being a woman and what that means. And along comes Éowyn, who is bitter, who is cold, who is ANGRY, and who doesn’t perform joy or softness or gentleness just because people expect her to. She’s this seminal Woman Of War in so many ways, I think the kind of person a lot of us wish we could be. She’s got her emotional taps cut off at the source, she holds her head high and faces down unimaginable personal and political terrors, and at the end of it all still has this abiding love for her family that, I would argue, is almost unparalleled by anyone else in the book.

After all that, she gets this incredible moment of emotional catharsis (or what we expect to be emotional catharsis): “no living man am I!” She undertakes THE greatest martial act of the Ring War, and in that moment there’s this unbelievably sophisticated dialogue happening about gender (“Éowyn it was, and Dernhelm also”), and leadership (Merry finding his courage not because of the immediate scenario of the Witch-king, but because he’s spurred into it by Éowyn’s presence), and love and care.

And then we learn that no, actually, this glorious act of violence wasn’t the emotional catharsis we thought it would be. She gets to ride to war, she gets to throw herself headlong at death, and in the end that hopeless act of individualism isn’t really what does it for her. She’s still left desolate and despairing, and actually all of her problems haven’t gone away.

And then we need to rewind a bit, because along comes Faramir, who is gentle, and is kind, and does seem to believe in joy, but not because people expect it — actually it's made abundantly clear nobody expects it — but because it’s something quite innate to how he figures the world. And he’s a huge fucking nerd too. I have a lot of thoughts on Faramir’s flaws and why I find them endearing, which I won’t put here, but almost immediately you get this sense of a guy who’s quite melodramatic, good humoured, and very much not made to live in a time of war.

But he’s also clear-headed about war and what it requires (tactically, if not strategically, though that’s a post for another day), but who is kind of cynical and weary of it in his own unique way. And it’s a unique cynicism given his personal circumstances because he’s the second son of The great family of Gondor, he’s apparently — though with some big ol’ question marks hanging about the extent — very able to command some of the elite units in the realm, and what’s more than that, he’s got all these fantastical powers (the light mind reading to start, to say nothing of this apparently magical ability to command animals too. bruh.). By all accounts he should be this brazen hot mess, but he’s not. He’s desperate to claw his way out of this war-torn cage of expectation his people have for how a man should comport himself in time of war. Is it a little naïve? Sure. A little fussy? Absolutely. But does it point to that same desperation that Éowyn has? Yes! But also the practicality, like, neither of them are really enjoying the circumstances they live under, but good fucking god are they both able to Make It Work.

So finally we get to the Houses of Healing and what is the finest and most aggressively romantic writing of LOTR. Seriously, it’s so fucking much. It’s breathtaking. It reminds me quite viscerally of this fabulous quote from Les Mis:

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.

At some point I will devote more time to talking about the two reasons line, and the blissful Queen of Gondor speech, but I think to me that big, important line is: “And then her heart changed, or at least she understood it; and the winter passed, and the sun shone upon her.”

It’s not about Éowyn changing herself entirely (though, I think, it really does bear mentioning that she does change, and that’s every bit as important to understanding that scene as it is romantic), it’s about Éowyn coming to terms with how to live with herself as herself, and how to live in communion with someone else. She can’t just cut people out anymore, and she can’t just treat them as objects of infatuation as she did with Aragorn, she has to reckon with people as they are. And that’s sort of the moment where I knew I was about to plunge fully off the deep end with these two and never know a moments’ peace again, lmao.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Someone on here once called Farawyn a love letter to women and, by god, yes, exactly that. I love the capacity for emotional intimacy, that is beautiful in ways I can’t express. To me, though, my favourite thing is the promise of life they speak of. Not as in oh they shag loads and have babies (though not opposed to that, obviously), but in the sense that unlike Aragorn and Arwen, who are always going to be buried under/burdened with the crushing weight of history and tradition, Éowyn and Faramir are going out yonder those hills and they’re going to do some real cottagecore farming shit. Obviously with all the trappings of rank and nobility and whatnot, but they, unique to anybody else in the books, get to sow this new idea of what life should be. They are, outside of Aragorn, the single most powerful people in Gondor. Éowyn’s got the ear of a king, a steward (which is essentially a prime-ministerial deal here), and functionally her own prince (if the hobbits are to be believed when they refer to it as essentially hers). I suspect that, in life, there were remarkably few arguments she wasn’t winning, and that Ithilien probably trended towards the jumped up noble hippie camp Tolkien so desperately wanted Oxford to be (or, in other words — Cambridge, lol).

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Yeah, man, everybody stop treating Faramir like he’s a big fucking crybaby and Éowyn like she’s some kind of shrieking 2010-era tumblr girl.

One of the single most important lines defining Faramir’s character is when Denethor roasts his ass for always trying to appear noble and lordly, if you ignore every other piece of textual evidence we have about him, what part of that line makes you think Faramir’s some simpering daisy? And why would you want to link tremendous emotional intelligence and care with being too limp-wristed to function, lol??? Like I struggle loads with writing Faramir, because I have never once in my life tried to be noble or self-restrained, so find it hard to get into that mindset, but better, I think, to imagine him too closed off than to do this wilting flower song and dance lmao.

And stop making Éowyn out to be this over-emotional angst machine. She’s got problems, yes, and she’s sure as shit got a lot of angst, but at almost every point in the book where we’re overtly dealing with her emotions, she’s sublimating them into something else. One of the most serious times we see her cry is when she’s fighting with Aragorn about riding out, and after that moment she literally tries to kill herself. Those tears aren’t standard, man, that’s a real watershed (lol) moment for her. You have to read around what the text is saying to get a better feel why everybody’s constantly calling her cold and distant.

#god this is probably obnoxiously long because i can't do cuts on my phone #but refuse to open the tumblr website on my laptop lmao #faramir #éowyn #boromir #théodred #farawyn #borodred #god sorry for these fucking tags man im just trying to make my blog slightly more organised #i just have a lot of thoughts #i should really write more metas it would probably help my writing out quite a bit #asks #meta

[fipindustries]

it was worth it

so here we go, one more of what im sure will be half a dozen essays on the ending of worth the candle, hopefully ill be able to say something sufficently distinct from what other people are saying that this is worth reading. truly we have to than that i had been liveblogging this story because if i had to put everything i thought about this story right here right now, it would probably be longer than the 1.6 million words of the book itself

every so often you come across those works of fiction, those works after which the entire genre feels pointless because all there was to say was already said and done there. worm comes to mind, a lot of people have said that they just couldnt engage with superhero fiction any more after reading that because everything felt so stale and pedestrian. this feels much the same for the isekai genre, and for geeky fantasy kitchen sink worlds in general.

alexander wales, through his successive avatars sprinkled all around this story, through the dm and juniper and everyone else, feels like an archetype. @itsbenedict​ at one point said something to the effect that he was amazed by how every desition the characters would make and the specific reasoning behind it all felt like what he would have done and i agree with this. i dont think there was any other book that showed such a perfect, in real time, display of my thoughts as i was having them while reading the book. this book, more like any other captures a very specific type of mentality, a very particular way of engaging with fiction and fantasy, an incredibly specific philosophy when it comes to imagination and storytelling. it feels like a beacon, a conceptual circumbscribing of a type of personality and a way of looking at the world that i would truly consider my kin, as shown by the fandom of this novel. 

wales, madman that he is, went and did it, he wrote the story that i feel we all wanted to write our entire lives, the gigantic, sprawling tale of someone in a granular detailed expansive and rich fantasy world, munchkinning their way into godood with one weird trick, no tricks, no traps, no short cuts, just one guy and his group of friends being very clever and making good choices. solving problems as they come with actual problem solving skills. with actual thought put into it. fantasy understood as a great puzzle to put together, a mathematical equation, commiting to go wherever the logic of the story may take us, no hedging, no items, fox only, final destination.

but there is even more to this archetype i mentioned. juniper is not just a geek, he is a very specific kind of geek. he is the classical version. he is the epitome of the gen X nerd. this subculture evolved a lot through the years, and the millenial nerd is a far different beast from its previous iteration. webcomics through the 2000′s and the 2010′s are if anything the long chronicle of that evolution, from the greasy loser of the past to quirky catgirls of today. but joon and his world feel like the last great hurrah of this character, its final tribute.

now, going back to wales, the real actual wales and not the hall of mirrors that he set up all around himself, this story proved to me more candid than i ever imagined. all fiction is ultimatly the author talking about themselves in one way or the other, we all put a bit of our lives and our sould into our tales. some times the lines can get blurry but, unless the author comes out and outrights spells it out for you, there is always some degree of plausible daniability. 

well, as a matter of fact wales himself does come out at the very end and outright spells it and the amount of borderline one to one correlations with his actual life are, dare i say it? brave. doesnt help that he more or less confirms that a part of him (that is not quite him but still a significant part) would gladly have sex with a cactus person, an otter girl and an octopus, or at least would get a kick out of fantasizing about it.

but wacky fetishes aside (we never really got to see what was in flesh.txt did we?) there are some suggestions that the characters in this story may be distantly based if not in actual people, at the very least in the feeling that certain people he knew sucitated in him. which leads one to wonder was there something analogous to a “real” amarylllis??? perhaps some girl he had a crush on when he was a teenager that at the time seemed like the perfect girl and that he couldnt help but idolize and put on a pedestal, much like the readers of this story, me included, did with amaryllis. truly the last chapter invites you, almost dares you to go back and try to psychoanalize wales and figure out who he is by the veiled clues sprinkled all through out this self admitted metaphorical autobography.

as a way for me to take a deep breath, cleanse my mouth and slowly dial my self back into the rest of my life without this story ill comment on some of its flaws, mainly the final leg of the story where the emotional tugs just werent all there. where the plot sags a bit and where you can feel that the story is mainly rushing a bunch of stuff wales was just not interested in exploring but that he had commited himself to see through. so much so that through the entire arc of the long stairs all the other characters felt like they were just not really there much and the final tearful goodbye with arthur doesnt completly land, at least for me. a lot of it feels like going through the motions to just get things done, but the final take away here is that it sticks the landing, sure it might have blown its load a bit early leaving the rest of the story deflated but who am i to complain? didnt i get the load at the end of the day? and wasnt it fantastic, beyond fantastic even, transcendental? this is a good book, is my main takeaway here.

incredible, amazing, perfect, superlatives galore, i loved it and i am heartbroken that is done and i cant wait to see what alexander wales comes up with next. go fucking read it.

#we got to explode every last firecracker in the fireworks factory #and now its time to clean the soot and the ashes and go back home #worth the candle