#don’t know how to feel about noa yet | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pparadiselost · 1 year

Text

la maison.

noel noa x single mother fem reader noa finds himself falling head over heels for the sweet mom next door. warning(s): nsfw, alcohol, dubious consent (drunk sex), single mother reader, named son oc (irrelevant outside of pornmaking plot), creampie, breeding minors do not interact.

recently, noel noa has developed a bit of a problem.

he had fallen in love with his next-door-neighbor. which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn’t the most unique nor the most world-shattering of issues he could possibly have, but these once trivial feelings he had no time to waste on started taking root in his head, they began to spread like wildfire throughout his daily life.

the pro soccer player was mildly surprised to find out that the young man who had lived next to him in the quaint apartment he called home had moved out while he was playing overseas. noa didn’t think too much of it. he rarely ever grew close with the neighbors around him. he was often out of the house, gone for months to even years at a time playing for whatever country or club summoned him, and when he was home, he preferred spending his time alone rather than getting attached to people who he had nothing in common with.

but the two of you had gotten off on a completely unexpected foot.

“dada!” the squirming toddler in your arms squeals. you nearly drop the bag of groceries you were precariously balancing on your elbow, yelping softly as your son uses all the force he can muster in his tiny body to lurch towards noa. “dada, dada!”

“no, sweetie, that’s not your dad,” you gently remind him, unable to stop the sheepish smile that tugs at your lips. you expertly lean the little boy against your hip while you regain your grip on your groceries, flashing an apologetic smile at noa. “i’m so sorry about that. he has a habit of saying that to every man he sees.”

noa stands practically frozen in his doorframe. he’s seen his fair share of almost blasphemously beautiful women in his life: models, actresses, influencers… but nothing holds a candle to the way his heart thumps in his chest when his eyes land on you. every bit of you screams sweet yet battered to him, your eyes mild and gentle by the tugs of time and your body all covered with loose clothes to make sure your boy could hug right into every little nook and cranny that he pleases.

a perfect image of motherhood.

his dick throbs in his pants.

it’s lecherous. he doesn’t even know your name, and he’s getting turned on. hell, you might even be married, yet he’s lusting after you.

“it’s alright. i know how kids are,” he lies. he actually doesn’t know how kids are, but it’s enough to get you to laugh again. “do you live near here? i don’t think i’ve seen you around.”

“ah! i do.” you lift a hand to point at the door right next to his while your son tugs at your clothes impatiently. he keeps mumbling dada, dada in that gurgling voice of his, looking up at you and then stealing glances at noa. “we moved in fairly recently. i didn’t think we’d have a neighbor, because i thought the next door apartment was empty.”

his heart skips a beat, and noa coughs to clear his throat. “i see. my job requires me to be overseas a lot, so i’m out of the house often. i suppose, that makes us next-door-neighbors then. my name is noel noa. it’s lovely to meet you.”

he half-expects you to gasp and run off upon hearing his name, but instead your smile widens. “it’s lovely to meet you as well. my name is (y/n). this naughty little elf right here is honoré. do you wanna say hi to mr. noa, sweetie?”

you keep cooing at the boy, while noa breathes a sigh of relief. so you don’t recognize him to be a pro player. in some ways he prefers that. he wouldn’t want to scare you away. his mind races when he thinks about how he’s now next door to who he believes is the most fuckable woman on earth.

“alright, it was a joy meeting you. i’ll see you around then, mr. noa?” you offer.

‘noel is fine.’ noa nods, mumbling an agreement before you wave and disappear into your suite, leaving him dumbfounded in his doorframe. what was he even leaving the house for? he doesn’t remember anymore.

but god. temptation had fallen straight into his lap, and if the arousal churning deep in his gut told him anything, it was that his life was going to be trouble from now on.

…

noel noa has also come across a stroke of luck. his manager on the other end of the phone sighs and tells him that the next season has been postponed for a few months, mumbling on about some logistics issues between the professional leagues regarding budgeting and some new stadium being built. noa couldn’t care less: his job was to play soccer, and that was final.

the bottom line was clear. he wouldn’t be flying out and disappearing again, and for a few months, he was free to do as he wanted so long as he kept himself in tip-top shape and maintained his usual training.

a guilty part of him celebrates. it means he gets to stay longer with you, right next doors. he’s been running into you more often, and you’re always quick to offer up a small greeting and make small talk with him when time allows. noa tries so, so hard to be a good man and genuinely get to know you as a good neighbor should, rather than to look at you and be driven half-insane by how much he wishes he could drag you to his suite and fuck you on his bed.

honoré never fails to happily scream out “dada!” at noa when he sees the man, and you always correct your son with a stern voice. part of noa wants you to stop correcting him, his inner lust-demon celebrating slightly at the fact that your son is ready to accept him as his father. noa had been hesitant on full-on courting you, or at least, what he considered courting (lavinho never failed to make fun of him for having “the flirtation skills of a 13th century monk!”), having assumed that you had a husband.

but he notices the lack of a wedding band around your ring finger. could it be that you didn’t have a husband, after all?

not that it matters. noa knows he shouldn’t let himself daydream. he barely knows you, and the very least he can do is show you a modicum of respect rather than treating you like some hunk of hot meat on the dating market.

it’s dark outside when noa sits down in his bed, unwinding by himself after a long day of analyzing previous games and practicing by himself out in one of the nearby training fields. he hasn’t seen you all day, but he knows you’re home because he stole a peek at your apartment window while heading in. the lights are on, and presumably, you’re inside. it isn’t safe for a woman and a little child to be out and about when it’s dark, and noa wonders if he should offer to escort you if you ever need to go out.

no. he shouldn’t overstep. he really shouldn’t.

but what really throws him for a loop is what he hears through the thin apartment walls. at first he thought it was his phone, having auto-started a video, but nothing in his house could be capable of making that noise. noa sits still on his bed and cranes his ears, and then realization settles like cold snow on his body.

you’re singing. your voice is hushed, loving, and every now and then, noa makes out the whiny cries of a little boy.

he pauses.

dear lord. are you singing your son to sleep?

noa grits his teeth and stifles a groan when a rush of blood floods his groin, and his pants immediately start tightening up. he’s used up all of his self-restraint to not feel this way around you, yet the thought of you, in such domestic bliss with your toddler, turns him ridiculously on. his cock fucking hurts from how hard it is, pressing up angrily against his pants and demanding that he do something about it. his stomach throbs and swirls with need, with the desire to fuck something until he’s satisfied.

his hand absentmindedly wanders to the waistband of his pants, and he guides his dick so that it springs free from its restrictive confines. noa doesn’t think he’s ever been this hard before in his life—his cock slaps up against his stomach, and the irritated tip is already drooling greedily. noa hisses quietly when the cold air rushes against his swollen organ, and he carefully wraps his hand around his dick.

you continue your singing.

noa wonders how you must look. he wonders if your sweet hair is damp from a shower, or if you’re getting ready to step into the bath once you put your son to sleep. he wishes he could bury his face in your hair and lewdly inhale, and he begins to slowly stroke his cock at the thought of your features.

maybe you’d hold your son to your chest. blood swells south at the thought of your breasts. the sloping curve that you always hid behind conservative clothes. noa isn’t sure if he wants to sweetly coax you out of them, getting you to shyly bare yourself for him, or if he wants to rip them off of you like an animal and savor the way you squeal and try to cover yourself up.

he wants to grope your tits. your gorgeous tits, made to hold a little boy close to your heart, once filled with milk to feed your son, all swollen and easily filling up his cupped hands. noa barely holds back a moan as he fists himself while daydreaming about your breasts.

he’d ghost his fingertips over your puffy nipples. he’d hear you cry out, sobbing out a “i-i’m sensitive there, noel-” while he teases them. he’d tug on them too, after a while, feeling your cunt grow wetter and wetter while he has his way with your body. he’d keep on circling his fingers all over your supple breasts, the dainty signs of motherhood filling out and fueling his own libido.

his cock twitches in his fist. he’s leaking pre-cum like a broken faucet. just the mental image of your fat tits has him acting this way, and noa doesn’t know what to do with himself. his balls tighten and contract, and your singsongy filling his ears overwhelms with lust.

he wants to fuck you. he wants to fuck you so bad. his length is fuming at him for not being buried into your delicate body. noa wants to fuck into you anywhere he can get.

your smaller hands, struggling to fully wrap your fingers around his thick cock. or your mouth, that canary-like voice of yours being put to good use by choking and slobbering all over him. or even your tits that he had been drooling over, slapping his cockhead over your sensitive nipples until you’re squirming and scrunching your face up the way he likes it. your plush thighs wouldn’t be too bad too, hearing your breath hitch and hike up an octave whenever his tip catches on your throbbing clit.

‘fuck- fucking hell, fuck, fuck…!’ he grits his teeth as his hands speed up, fucking against his cock as if he were a bull in heat. he hasn’t even had the opportunity to fantasize about your gummy pussy yet, and he’s already this close.

he’s too preoccupied taking his time fucking you with his eyes in his mind, stroking fervently to the sound of your muffled voice. he wants to cum, he wants to cum so bad, he wants to take all of his pent-up frustration and make it real and tangible that you’re the one who drove him to this ridiculous state.

he swears he’s going to fuck you. he swears he’s going to fuck his cock into you until your body bends and breaks to him, until you turn into a fucked-out shell of the sweetheart that lives next door. he’s going to get you fucking hooked on his cock so that you’re drooling and chasing after sex with as much as he’s going crazy for you.

horribly wet shlick-shlick noises echo around his bedroom as he thrusts himself all over his hand. his stomach twists violently, and his heavy balls contract painfully before noa cums all over himself.

‘shit. shit…!’

he grits his teeth and shuts his eyes, forcing down any noises out of fear that you might hear. the rush almost breaks him. ropes of heady cum splash all over his chest and abs, instantly drenching and burning into his skin. he strokes himself through his orgasm, the coils in his gut twisting against themselves, unfurling in and out as pure pleasure streaks through his body. god, this was so wrong of him to do, but noa would be fucking damned if he said he ever came this hard before.

his cock hangs from the pricks of overstimulation as he continues to stroke himself, coaxing out every second of his orgasm as he possibly could. shame immediately floods his body like ice water when his foggy mind clears bit-by-bit, yet he can’t bring himself to jump to his feet and start cleaning up.

noa sits defeatedly in his bed. his chest heaves as he catches his breath, wishing his cum was streaked all over you rather than his own body, and he swallows thickly. he feels horrendously guilty, yet in a twist of ironic fate, your voice keeps trickling through the thin walls.

noa doesn’t even have time to fully let the guilt hit before his dick is swelling up in his fist again.

‘one more round. just one more round,’ he bargains with himself, ‘just until you stop singing lullabies to your son.’

…

“i’m so sorry, noel,” you laugh awkwardly. “i really hope i’m not bothering you.”

“it’s no problem at all, really. this is what neighbors are for.”

you stand a few paces in front of him, and the exhausted smile on your face makes noa’s heart speed up dangerously. honoré is fast asleep on your back, strapped to you with a baby harness. in noa’s hands is a stubborn jar of sauce, which, according to you, absolutely refused to open no matter what you did or how hard you had tried to wrench the lid open.

noa firmly grips the lid, and with a small grunt, he easily pops the jar lid open. your eyes widen in awe as he flexes his muscles subtly, a few of the veins in his toned arms becoming visible. he notices you staring at him, and he gently screws the lid back on before handing it back to you.

“thank you so much!” you beam. “it stressed me out so much that i couldn’t get it open. silly of me to think that when i have you right here. classic case of mom brain.”

noa thinks he’s going to stop breathing. you’re beaming at him in such a lighthearted manner, and your words bring his brain to full halt for a split second. he manages a lukewarm smile, and he’s getting ready to wave you off and let you scurry back into your apartment complex before you pause.

“you know… if you aren’t that busy tonight, would you like to come over for dinner? i’m in the middle of cooking right now—well, duh—and i feel like it wouldn’t hurt to make friends with the person living right next door,” you offer up innocently. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to! i completely get it-”

“-i’d love to. when would you like me over?” noa doesn’t even need to consider his options. “should i dress up?”

“dress up?” you gasp. “you don’t need to do anything fancy like that! it’ll just be a nice home cooked meal, maybe a little wine, just as a sign of goodwill. i’ll still need about… let’s say an hour? that way i can clean up a little too… the petit rascal here has a knack for getting into everything.”

“an hour sounds good to me. thank you for the invitation. i’ll look forward to it,” he responds plainly. his thoughts are going a million miles per hour.

dinner. at your place. with you. just you and him.

lady luck must be on his side. not even playing in the world cup could compare to the amount of anxiety and anticipation bubbling up inside of him. you flash him a thumbs-up, unaware of the wrench you had thrown into his nearly nonexistent courtship plans. he stands a bit dumbfounded in the doorframe (not too dissimilar when he first met you) when you scoot back into your place, most likely jumping straight back to work in order to prep food and spruce up your home to take him as a guest.

an hour. noa decides that it’s enough time for him to groom himself a bit too. jump in the shower, douse himself with a nice perfume, pick out a casual yet still suave outfit. if time allows, he’d even run down to a nearby store to buy a bouquet of flowers. a nice little thank you present for the meal, but undoubtedly enough of an ambiguous gift to give it a slight romantic tinge.

noa was going to milk this opportunity. you had thrown him the perfect chance, and noa knew that once he fixated on something, he would see it through.

to his success, all things willing.

…

everything about your house suited you. your apartment complex wasn’t decorated too lavishly, yet it wasn’t barebones either. noa smiles when he sees all the pictures of your son you have framed against the walls, and your shelves are stuffed with picture books and other memorabilia of the toddler.

you had expertly put honoré to bed before noa had came around, and when he knocked on your door an hour later, you had buried your face in your hands and laughed like a schoolgirl that had been confessed to when he presented you with a bouquet of beautifully prepared calla lilies.

“you shouldn’t have!” you had smacked his arm playfully, but noa felt his chest swell with pride when you rifled through your closet to find a makeshift vase to place the flowers in.

dinner had been delightful. noa had eagerly wolfed down whatever food you served him, and you were more than happy to prattle on to him about how honoré had recently developed an affinity for blueberries and that you were debating between buying him legos or a toy truck.

of course, the wine flowed generously throughout too. you had admitted that you had saved the red wine for a long time, never having a reason to drink it since your hands were full with a baby and not really wanting to crack a whole bottle open just for yourself. noa could tell you were enjoying the drink, swirling the wine glass around rhythmically as the drink slowly stained your plump lips a deep shade of maroon.

how lovely. noa wondered if it would smear if he were to kiss you.

letting you chatter on without stopping you let him extrapolate a lot that he wouldn’t have known otherwise. it didn’t take too many sips to get you a little tipsy, and with a few questions to ease you up, you were practically an open book.

you had gotten pregnant with your son a few years back, and when you approached honoré’s dad with the news, the sleazebag had completely vanished from your life. as awful as it sounds, noa celebrates inwardly when he hears that you’re single. you admitted that you were lucky enough to have good friends and a somewhat stable support system who took care of you through your pregnancy, and you had honoré without too many complications. but one thing led to another, and you ended up moving here.

“i work remotely,” you murmur, stealing another mouthful of red wine. “it’s… not much, but it’s enough to provide for me and my little boy. i get to pamper him a fair amount, and working from home means that i don’t need to worry about a babysitter! it won’t be too long until i can send him to school, and at that point, i can probably look for a better paying job that i can commute to.”

“i see. if i’m ever around, i wouldn’t mind looking after honoré. you already have a lot on your plate, and if there’s anything i can do to ease the load…,” noa trails off. you sigh dreamily, shaking your head.

“oh, i couldn’t ask you to do that. but i really appreciate the offer.” you glance towards the nursery. “honoré has taken a liking to you though. he gets so excited whenever he sees you!”

the tension between you two is electric. noa feels like his heart is about to give out on him, and if the tension mounting in his stomach tells him anything, it’s that he should be thankful for having the foresight to wear loose pants. your house smells like you: sweet, light, a perfect aphrodisiac for the starved man.

this is the closest he’s ever been to you, the longest he’s ever talked to you. you keep batting your eyelashes at him, looking up at him with such pretty, tipsy eyes. maybe it’s the alcohol talking for the both of you, but noa finds it hard to even swallow. he sips tentatively at his own wine glass. his mouth keeps drying up, and he’s thankful that you’re so good at filling up his silence with your own little chit chat.

“if you don’t mind me…,” you start. you peek at him, and he stares back at you with his sharp golden eyes. “what do you do for a living, noel?”

“me…?” panic stabs at him for a moment.

should he be honest with you? you didn’t recognize his name when he introduced himself, so it was clear that you had no idea that the man right next to you was quite literally the world’s best striker. would that change the way you viewed him? would you be scared? repulsed? would you talk to him again if you knew?

“sorry-,” you’re quick to apologize. “that was too much of me. you really don’t have to answer me. that was entirely my bad.”

“no, i don’t mind.” he owes you that much. you had been nothing but kind and welcoming towards him, and all he did in return was go insane with desire. the very least he could do was come clean about who he truly was.

he shifts in his seat, and noa braces himself for the worst. “i’m a professional soccer player.”

you blink at him. “r-really? wait, that’s kinda cool! do you play for a local league or something?”

“i play as a striker for bastard munchen. it’s a german team. they’re one of europe’s most prestigious leagues, and they’ve sent players to the world cup.” his grip on his wineglass tightens just a tad bit. “i’ve played in the world cup.”

your jaw drops. “oh my god. you’re not joking with me, are you?”

he risks meeting your eyes. “do i look like the kind of man to joke around?”

you cover your mouth with your hand, unable to look him in the face. “oh my god… ohhhh my god…! i’m so sorry! i’ve been referring to you so casually, and- and-”

he raises a hand, and he shushes you. “what are you apologizing for? you’ve done nothing wrong. you’ve always treated me kindly. i don’t see why knowing my job would change anything between us. we’re still neighbors. and at this point, we’re friends as well, I'd hope.”

he sees you swallow back a sigh, and you take a deep breath and nod. “right. yes. this doesn’t change anything… it’s still a lot to just- to just take in, you know?”

“you take the time you need. and if interacting with me becomes too much, then i understand. the last thing i’d like to do is make you uncomfortable.” his heart wrenches painfully inside of his chest at the thought of no longer being able to talk to you. but you’d find out sooner or later, and if his cover was going to be blown, noa would prefer doing it on his own terms.

“can i ask you another question then?” you ask with your mousy voice.

“go ahead.”

“why do you live here then?” you hiccup. “shouldn’t a super talented soccer player like you live in a big mansion?”

“i could. but i don’t particularly want to.” noa notices that you’re working up the courage to look him in the face again. his stomach twists once more, the sight of your pretty face all conflicted throwing his brain into turmoil again. he clenches his fist, digging his nails into his palm to bring himself back to the same plane of reality that you were on. “i’ve never been interested in a flashy life. i prefer living quietly and doing as i’m told.”

“that does sound like you,” you hum in agreement. “well, as surprising as it is, i’m glad to have someone like you for my neighbor. and i promise i’m not saying it just because i know that you’re a professional athlete now!”

you giggle brightly, your lips curving to match the rim of your wine glass. you down the remaining liquid, giving a soft smack of your mouth to fully savor the notes. noa clenches his jaw visibly, and his nails threaten to break the thick skin of his palms.

you’re tempting him. you’re driving him insane. your lips are dyed and pretty, and noa has been staring at them all evening. his throat feels dry and heavy, and he forces the arousal pooling in his crotch to calm down.

he can’t be like this right in front of you. it was one thing to act like an immoral, debauched man in private, but it was another to be unable to control himself in front of you. he was better than this. he knew he was.

but the heart wants what it wants. and there was nothing more that noa wanted than to force you to your knees, to whip his hardening cock out of his pants and smack your slutty wine-stained lips with the tip. he’d force you to open up and stretch that cute mouth of yours around his girth, watch you struggle to take him into your mouth and whimper all over his cock. knowing you, you’d beg him to be gentle with you, to be quiet so that you wouldn’t wake up the slumbering angel in the next room over, and noa would have to fight every animalistic instinct in him to not fuck you until you’d be wailing the house down.

“is everything alright, noel?” you break him out of your thoughts. he shakes his head, clearing his thoughts before he faces you. he can’t stop the heat from flooding his face, but he’s quick to decide that he’d simply blame it on the alcohol.

he couldn’t keep doing this forever. something or other would give, and the last thing noa would want would be to do some unforgivable or stupid. it was torture, to have his body say one thing and his mind another, especially when you were quite literally within arm’s reach.

“i’m alright. you don’t need to worry about me. i can take care of myself,” he promises. you lean in closer, enough so that noa can feel your warm breath trickling across his neck. his heart threatens to stop, and he looks at you with hesitant eyes.

“are you sure?” your hand lands on his thigh, squeezing him gently.

oh. so that’s how things were going to be. what a goddamn minx you were, doing something like this with such disgustingly innocent intent.

“yes. i’m fine,” he presses his lips into a thin line. “would you mind passing me the wine bottle? i’ll pour us another glass, if you don’t mind…”

…

your mouth tastes delicious, like fresh wine and everything he had wanted to do to you since forever. your face is flushed, and your eyes are hazy, barely meeting his as you struggle to keep up with him through your drunken state.

“n-noel-!” you squeak out. his heavy body weighs you down, keeping you trapped between him and your squeaky bed. things are a blur, even for him.

one moment he’s pouring you more wine, and the next, the two of you are stumbling into your room, where he tosses you down onto the mattress like you’re a ragdoll.

“tell me you want it.” he rolls his clothed hips into yours, and you recoil into the bed with a choked whine. the sound goes straight to his dick. god, how long had he wanted to hear that? to hear the woman he had coveted for so long moaning underneath him?

you shake against his larger form. “w-want it- i want it, noel-“

“you want me to fuck you? you want your next-door-neighbor to fuck you?” he whispers. you shut your eyes as he kisses up your neck, his hands gripping your waist as his lips capture your earlobe. he sucks, his tongue lapping at your soft skin.

his imagination has nothing on how you actually feel in his hands. even through your clothes, he has no issues palming at your figure. you breathe out his name as his palms feel your curves, his fingertips dancing with the hem of your clothes.

you nod wantonly, not once fighting off his advances. “yes! yes, i want it- want you to fuck me- want my next-door-neighbor to have sex with me!”

“good girl,” he exhales. your breathing shallows as he coaxes your shirt over your chest and head, and you shudder as his eyes land all over your stomach and breasts.

your bra struggles to hold onto your chest, your full breasts pooling over the edge. you yelp when he yanks at your bra, snapping it off of you and letting your chest tumble out fully in front of him.

you instinctively try to cover yourself up with your arms, and noa grabs your wrists and wrenches them off of your chest. you mewl when the air nips at your nipples, causing them to perk up slightly.

“don’t you dare think about hiding yourself from me,” noa whispers. “you have no way of getting yourself out of this.”

you rub your thighs together, your cunt throbbing. when was the last time you had done this? you hadn’t had sex in years, not when you had your hands full with a baby and keeping yourself afloat. you were a mom, for fuck’s sake, with a whole baby to watch out for, yet here you were, pinned down underneath noel noa while he grinded his boner into your thighs.

his hands latch onto your chest, and his palms grope at your fat tits slowly. you moan out breathlessly when his calloused palms tease at your nipples, sending a jolt of arousal into your stomach. a wet patch forms in your panties, horribly turned on just from having your boobs squeezed a few times.

“god, you have no clue what your body does to me,” noa rasps. “do you have any idea how much i’ve dreamt about this? how much i wanted to touch those slutty tits of yours? look at you—your body was practically made to be fucked.”

your core twists painfully, and his fingertips pinch tentatively at your nipples.

“ah-! ahhh- noel-,” you buck your hips unconsciously, arching your back as he tugs at your chest. it stings, but it feels so good. even with the wine muddying your thoughts, your body responds to every little bit of attention noel showers onto you. you didn’t know you had it in you to be this lewd or to be this responsive.

you want more. it had been far too long since anyone showed you any love like this.

he slaps your tits before bringing his hands down to your pants, expertly undoing the zipper and hooking his fingers around the waistline. you let him wiggle your clothes over your hips and legs, leaving you almost entirely naked save for your drenched panties. it feels so terribly lewd, to lay there all bare for a man, even if you two haven’t technically done anything.

his hands squeeze possessively at your thighs. “i wanted to fuck you ever since the first time i saw you. ever since you told me your name, since your son started calling me dad. that wouldn’t be so bad, would it? if i became his dad?”

your chest tightens, and you bite back another lewd moan. noa ducks his head down and nips at your thighs with his teeth, and you flinch into his chest.

“you said it yourself. your little boy loves me,” noa murmurs. his tongue laps over his teeth marks, and you suck in a breath. your pussy twitches, clenching around nothing. your body wants more, wants to feel more noa more, wants him to take over your body and make you his. “nothing would make him happier than his beloved mommy to have a dad by her side.”

his mouth heads upwards, and he uses his strong hands to pry your shaking legs apart. you whimper, already feeling so exposed to the bigger man despite still having your panties on. he leans back, but his fingers ghost over your crotch. two fingers press up right against your pussy, and he rubs them up and down your covered slit.

his fingertips are damp. you’re obscenely wet, and watching you struggle to control yourself has noa’s cock straining for its life in his pants.

“or even better,” noa grabs at the waistband of your panties, “daddy fucks mommy pregnant and gives him a younger sibling that he can dote on.”

you throw your head back against your pillow. your mind spins with arousal and alcohol, and noa slips your panties off without any resistance. a strand of slick sticks to the crotch of your underwear, and noa’s finally rewarded with the sight of your bare pussy. he can see your hole fluttering and twitching on itself, desperate to be stuffed and stretched out with something.

god. your body is so attractive to him. he’s never wanted to fuck someone more in his life. with your full hips and soft stomach, motherhood has mellowed out and accentuated you into a woman noa just couldn’t resist.

he thinks he’s going to stop breathing.

“d-don’t look too hard-,” you stammer out. your body heats up and flushed at how intently noa’s staring at your defenseless cunt, knowing that your body’s begging to be penetrated and fucked.

“i’ll be so good to you,” noa vows. you’re frozen on the sheets, and noa nearly shreds the clothes off of him. your voice catches in the back of your throat when you see his toned chest and abs, the silhouette of the soccer player resembling more of a greek god than the man you had always known as your neighbor.

he pulls his pants down, and when he shoves his boxers off, you can’t help but gasp “oh!” at how big his cock is. he’s obscenely thick and long, and your pussy is both parts scared and aroused at the sheer size. god—you just know that he would stretch your walls out deliciously. his tip smacks his abs, and prominent veins run all along his length.

“you’re so big…,” you eke out. “it’s been so long since i had sex… i don’t know if it’ll fit.”

“i’ll make it fit.” noa rests his hands on top of your knees. “do you want me to prep you?”

you nod. “yes please…”

he reaches over and grabs your hips, and before you can fully register what’s happening, noa hoists your hips up into the air. you give a loud cry, and the bed creaks underneath you as noa ducks his head. his grip on you is firm, and his fingers press into your hips as he brings your drooling cunt to his mouth.

noa’s tongue circles your throbbing clit. your hands fly up to your pillow, gripping at the plush material. jolts of electricity shoot up your core, and your stomach twists with pleasure. your thighs subconsciously try to shut, but noa curves his hands to keep them spread open.

“nngh…! wait, noel, hold on-,” you sob. you grip your pillow, clamping your teeth shut as noa teased your clit with the tip of his tongue. your hips shake as you grind up into his mouth, each wave of stimulation making your pussy drool and throb for more. “ah- be gentle with me…!”

be gentle with you? dear lord, noa sucking on your clit like a starved man was him being gentle with you. he had jerked himself off countless times fantasizing about having you naked and in his arms like this, and it took everything in him not to break that dripping cunt of yours in half with his dick. his cock twitches and protests when noa ignores his own arousal, too preoccupied in trying to force an orgasm out of you.

you taste so sweet on his tongue. you mewl out his name over and over, and your voice sounds like literal honey to his ears. one of his hands snakes down from your hips, and while noa swirls his tongue around your nub, he circles your pulsing hole with a finger. he could die right there and then, and noa would die a happy man. drowning in your honeyed cunt, losing himself to the tantalizing sensation of pleasuring you like any devoted man would.

“oh! oh god, noel-” your pussy can’t stop leaking with slick as noa keeps teasing you. he slips a finger in without much resistance, and your walls eagerly latch onto him. noa groans against your cunt when he feels your wall twist and clench around his finger, greedily sucking him in.

god, noa thinks he’s going to go insane. his cock wants nothing more than to bury itself into your sweet pussy, and feeling you twitch and clamp up on his finger makes his dick grow hungrier. his arousal is almost impossible to ignore, yet noa continues to swallow and lap at your core while he fingers you slowly.

he slides in another finger, thrusting in and out of you carefully. you buck your hips, crying out so prettily for him. noa curls his fingers and presses his fingertips all inside your pussy, and he stays vigilant in looking for that sweet spot that would completely unravel you.

“fuck-! fuck, wait- please, i-i can’t-!” you plead. your pussy tightens up around his knuckles dangerously, and noa fucks his fingers up into the spot that made you clench up and mewl so loudly. you’re already moaning and trembling this much just from being fucked on two fingers and having your clit sucked. noa can’t get enough of the way your body twists and reacts to everything he gives you.

a third finger prods at your hole, as if to ask if you’re ready. you inhale shakily as noa pushes another knuckle into you.

“fuck…!” you’re immediately clenching up, and your pussy’s walls are rubbing all against his fingers greedily. you’re nearly in tears, just from being fingered, and noa fights his desire to break you. “it feels so good- you feel so good, noel…!”

he thrusts his fingers into you, and you reel visibly. he can tell from the way your pussy has been twitching and gushing all around him that you’re close, stretched to your limit just from three fingers. he doubles down on flicking his tongue all over your clit: letting you grind your hips down greedily against the broad of his tongue. your body shakes, and you can’t stop sobbing.

you’re almost there. you both know you’re almost there. noa focuses himself on pleasuring you fully, and he roughly fucks his fingers into you and curls his knuckles into your g-spot without any mercy.

“noel-!”

your cunt squeezes his fingers for dear life, and noa latches himself onto your clit as you nearly wrench yourself out of his grasp. heat shreds your body, and the tightening in your stomach snaps violently as you cum shamelessly all over noa’s hands and mouth. you cry out his name loudly again, your normally gentle voice sounding so lewd and desperate as your slick gushes all over his chin and palm.

“fuck…! cumming- i’m cumming, noel…!” your body twists in his hands, and noa continues to stimulate your cunt until you’re babbling incoherent noises. he pulls his fingers out of you slowly, feeling your pussy try to cling to his knuckles before he lets you down properly onto the bed again. you’re struggling to catch your breath, your wide eyes all hazy and drunken as you suck in shaky breaths.

noa has no issue swallowing down your cum. he sucks your juices off of his fingers, cleaning up his mouth and chin before he scoots closer to you. you let out such a pathetic moan when he spreads your legs out again, your body too pliant and weak to offer any resistance. the sight of your obviously overstimulated and squirt-slicked cunt makes some sick monster in him swell with pride.

he did that. he made you cum.

he grips his long-ignored and fully engorged cock, and he smacks it against your cunt lightly. you flinch, your hole flaring up as he rubs his dick up and down your slick pussy lips.

“are you doing alright?” noa asks. his hands grab your hips, and your heart flutters as he rubs soothing circles into your skin. you nod weakly.

“yeah- i can do it,” you promise. you glance up at him with such pretty fluttering eyes, remnants of tears clinging to your lashes as you swallow. “i want you in me… i want your cock in me, please…”

“alright. deep breath. relax for me,” he commands. you nod again, and you shakily inhale and try to loosen your muscles up.

it immediately burns when he slides into you. you grit your teeth, trying your hardest to keep your pussy relaxed as his thick cock invades your pussy and stretches your walls out to its limits. noa grips your hips tightly, and he groans lowly when he feels you clamping up around his dick.

“fucking hell-,” he breathes out. “you’re so fucking tight-”

“t-too big-” hot tears prick at the corners of your eyes. “oh god, you’re going to break me!”

your pussy sucks him in and rubs all around his cock in a way that makes noa see stars. you’re so soft and tight, clinging and drooling all over his dick while his girth stretches and flexes your walls out. he keeps pushing past the resistance until he bottoms out, his balls resting heavy on top of your ass. you choke and gasp as he pushes your hips back even further, and he hovers over you, keeping you trapped underneath his thick legs.

a mating press.

“listen to me now,” he says. “i’m going to fuck you pregnant. i’m gonna fuck this pussy of yours till you’re pregnant again, and i’m going to give that little boy of yours a sibling of his own. you’d like that, wouldn’t you? have a baby of our own and form a perfect family…”

your pussy squeezes involuntarily, and even without you saying anything, he knows you’re turned on at the thought of being bred by him. a loud moan bubbles up in your chest as he slides his monstrous cock out of you before roughly slamming his hips down, forcing his entire length back into your tight cunt.

you barely choke back a scream. his cock has filled out every single bit of your hole, leaving you no room to comfortably take him. you swear that his tip prods dangerously at your womb, threatening to force it open so that he can dump as much of his cum into you as he wants.

oh god, you’re fucked. you’re having raw sex with your hot neighbor, and he’s talking about fucking his own child into you.

“god, you’re so fucking tight,” he groans. “can’t believe you had a whole baby with this pussy with how goddamn tight you are-”

you shudder as he thrusts in and out of you. every time he pistons his hips, he doesn’t waste a single movement. none of his thrusts are shallow; each one pumps deep and directly into your womb, clearly with the sole intent of getting you pregnant.

“haven’t had sex with anyone since- since i got pregnant with honoré,” you manage out. “fuck, fuck- you’re going too deep!”

irritation irks him in at the thought of some bastard getting to fuck you first, at the thought of another man getting to fuck that slutty pussy of yours. what kind of madman would even dream of letting you go, let alone throw you out so cruelly into the world? if he could, noa would keep you at home and lavish you with all the attention and love you could ever want. he’d pamper you, treat you like the goddess you are, make sure you know your worth and more. he can imagine it: buying you pretty clothes, taking you out to expensive dinners, spoiling honoré until the boy’s world is flipped upside down by his indulgent stepfather.

but when noa glances down to see you all spread out and submissive for him, your hole eagerly taking his cock and getting ready to be stuffed with his cum, he can’t help but gloat slightly. he’s the one who has you now, the one who’s going to properly sweep you off your feet, the one who’s going to make you his.

“don’t lose yourself just yet. i know you can take it.” he fucks his dick into you once more, and you moan, unable to stop the arousal coiling up in your core. he wants to make sure you feel it, makes sure you feel every inch and ridge of his cock rubbing against your insides. he doesn’t know when the last time you had dick was, and neither does he particularly care, but he wants your body to know that his dick is the best you’ll ever have. “get used to how it feels. i’m going to make you my wife—gonna give you a family of our own. that’d be nice, yeah? to have someone that can support you? so you’re not all alone with just your son?”

you can’t help but nod, your pussy quivering at the thought. you know you’re not thinking straight, not when wine stains your thoughts and your body’s overrun with lust. but for some reason, thinking about noa wifing you up, taking you to be his cute little housewife while he fucks his kids into you, chasing after honoré and whatever other babies he’s going to put in you, finally having someone kind and reliable to depend on…

you want it. you want it so bad.

your cunt makes it obvious from how much you’re clenching up around him, unconsciously milking his cock.

“you like that? you like the thought of getting married to me and having my babies?” noa eggs on.

“don’t tease me like that-,” you protest. you can barely keep up with everything happening around you. his cock keeps stretching you out, rubbing all over your slick walls and sending waves of heat up your core. arousal floods your gut, and all you can care about is how good it feels to have sex, to finally let loose and forget about all the worries in the world, to lose yourself to a man who wants nothing more than to be good to you.

“tell me it feels good. tell me you want it.” noa’s fingers dig into your thighs. your clit throbs, and you bring a hand to your crotch to rub at it frantically. you’re sniffling and sobbing pathetically underneath the pro player, already this cock-drunk and overwhelmed just from having cum on his mouth once.

“want it-,” you obediently repeat. heat floods your face and neck. he’s so possessive, but it turns you on so much. “want you so bad- want you to fuck me-”

“is that all?” his hips pound into you mercilessly, and you groan. his balls slap against your ass every time he fucks his cock into you, a constant reminder that you’re about to be bred by him.

“it’s embarrassing to say…” you can’t meet his eyes. noa hums disapprovingly, and dread pools in your chest when he draws his hips back all the way, until just the tip remains buried inside your indecent hole. “what are you doing…?”

you instantly turn to look at him, horror flashing across your face when you choke out, “n-noel, hold on, you can’t-!”

he slams himself all the way into you. you shriek, your core immediately burning at the ruthless stretch. his cock prods at your womb brutally, and a mix of pain and unbridled pleasure rips at your body. you’re instantaneously reduced to a crying mess, unable to form words as noa breaks your pussy. you swear you’re going to break into pieces, body left completely to the man’s mercy. he keeps drawing his hips back like that, his cock reveling in the feeling of being completely enveloped by your welcoming hole.

the room echoes with your cries, the desperate ah- ah- ah-! noises from you spurring him on to keep fucking you like a bull in heat. as much as he loves you, cherishes you, wants to keep you by his side, the sex is animalistic and unforgiving. your body feels bruised and battered as he bullies his length into you over and over again, stretching and molding your insides to adjust to his massively unfair size.

“say it!” noa’s voice doesn’t waver even once. “say it properly, or i’m not stopping until you pass out.”

you open and close your mouth dumbly, your mind too fogged up to think properly. you endeavor and push through, pursing your lips to form the words that noa has wanted to hear since the beginning. “w-wanna have sex with you more! wanna be yours- wanna be your wife-! wanna get m-married to you and- and have your babies!”

“yeah?” the blond man repeats. “you want me to be your husband? you want me to be honoré’s stepdaddy? you want me to father the rest of your kids?”

the dirty talk arouses you in a way you didn’t even realize was possible. you throw your head back, your back fully arched. you’re being so loud, too loud, and while you knew you should be quiet and good for your son’s sake, you can’t help but shamelessly beg for the man on top of you to fold you in half and fuck you pregnant until you’re nothing more than a stupid breeding bitch for your evidently soon-to-be husband.

“yes…!” you moan wantonly. “i want it all!”

he’s dangerously close. so are you, he can feel that much. you babble on and on about how you want him, how you want him to make you his, how you’ll be anything he wants you to be. what a depraved woman, he muses to himself, so desperate for love that you’d throw yourself at him once he gives you an opportunity to. he thinks it's awfully ironic, knowing that he did the same to you, and he’s glad that he has nothing but relatively good intentions.

minus the fact that he wants to get you pregnant.

his cock throbs and threatens to spill his cum into you. you’re teetering on the edge, aroused beyond your own comprehension by the sex and dirty talk, your sticky fingers playing with your abused clit. his hands reach for your tits, groping your sensitive breasts again.

he can’t wait to see you pregnant. your pretty chest, swollen up with milk for his baby, and your hips full and rounded out. your soft belly is stretched out, and you practically glow with warmth. he knows you’d be a good mother—he knows you’re a good mother. you dote on your son with so much love in your heart, and he knows you’d do anything to make sure that your family stays happy and healthy.

his heart swells.

“fuck-” he pumps his dick in and out of you at such an inhumanly fast pace. your pussy won’t stop coiling all around him, making sure to milk him for all he’s worth and intoxicating him endlessly. noa knows he hasn’t had that much to drink during dinner, but the sensation of fucking into your warm hole makes him feel like he’s had one sip too many. “gonna cum, love- gonna cum inside you and make you my wife…”

“do it-!” you encourage him. your voice is strained and high-pitched, and your thighs ache with the pressure of having him breeding you in such a demanding position. but he’s so deep in you, touching you in places you didn’t even know was possible, and the pleasure makes your mind go blank. “cum in me- please, cum inside me, noel!”

how can he refuse? you’re begging for him, asking him with such doe-like eyes and offering up that tempting body of yours.

it’s his turn to beg. “stay with me.”

you let out a loud squeal as he draws his heavy hips back one last time. your hole contracts around him, your desperate walls trying to drag him back inside, and he slams down into you as far as he can go. he knows he’s going to be hooked on your pussy, hooked on your body and the way it feels like you were made just to take his cock and get pregnant with his babies, hooked on all the ways he’s craved you with such an insatiable appetite since he’s laid eyes on you.

he lets himself go. with all the lust in his heart, enough to rival the sheer amount of love he has for his sweet, sweet neighbor.

he’s never cum this hard before. his balls tighten up painfully as he empties himself out inside of your cunt, and you moan out his name when you feel him pulsing inside your core. noa clenches his jaw, gritting his teeth together as the rush of his orgasm possesses him. you’re too much for him: too loving, too ready, too perfect, and noa would rather be damned than let you escape him.

it hurts to thrust into you so quickly, not having fully even finished riding out his climax, but he’s determined to shove as much of his semen into you. he needs you full, needs to know that you’ll be knocked up with his baby, and he uses his cock to force ropes of his hot cum into every inch of your womb.

your core tightens and twitches when you feel him cumming inside of you, all of the tension building up coming to a standstill in that moment. “fuck! fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuck- noel, i’m- i’m cumming- i’m cumming, i’m gonna cum- noel…!”

your cunt wrings his cock, gripping onto his length furiously. noa has to double down, brace himself for the way your body refuses to let him go, as you cry loudly and cum all over him. your pussy keeps contracting and squeezing, your second orgasm immediately setting your nerves on fire and taking complete control of your senses. he can tell you’re instantly overwhelmed, your breathing turning irregular as you pant out for air, a slick ring of ivory froth forming at the base of his cock.

“s-so good-,” you slur out, your words melting into one another. you shudder when noa pulls out of you, whining in slight protest at the sudden feeling of emptiness overtaking your warm pussy. a strand of milky cum follows his dick before breaking, and like a broken dam, a rivulet of semen leaks out of you and drips down. it follows the curve of your ass before beading momentarily on the sheets, creating a pool of cum underneath you.

even noa didn’t realize he came that much. he blames it entirely on his intent to breed you.

he sits down wordlessly by your side, the two of you laying in the darkness in silence as you catch your breaths. noa debates getting up to fetch you some water or a towel, but before he can, you grab at his wrist and coax him back to your side.

“you asked me to stay with you,” you whisper. you sound so hushed, but noa would have to be an idiot not to pick up on the wavering tinges of longing in your words. “don’t go just yet… stay with me.”

he wipes some of the sweat off of your forehead, tucking some loose hairs behind your ear. he ducks his head down to kiss your face, just like how proper lovers would. you smile so brightly, despite your body still aching from the number noa just did to you. you’re an angel sent from heaven, this much noa is sure of. he has never been one to believe that sincerely in abstract concepts like soulmates and fate, but when he cups your face and rubs his thumb over the apples of your cheeks or your eyelids, he gets it. he truly does.

“don’t worry.” his voice is calming, and despite the fatigue ebbing over you in relentless waves, you can hear him loud and clear. “i’m not going anywhere.”

…

you’re fast asleep. noa’s aware that he should be asleep too, the clock ticking into the long and lonely stretches of early morning as he keeps you tucked into his chest. a firm arm holds you close to his heart, and your body slots against his like you were made to be held by him.

a missed call notification from his manager rests on his homescreen. he doesn’t want to pick up just yet. he doesn’t want to return to the real world, to his responsibilities, to be away from you.

a text message from his manager pops up, and he scans the preview with his usual eagle-like eyes.

‘sorry for calling you so late, noa. hope you’ve been doing well,’ his manager writes. ‘unfortunately, it looks like you’re going to have the next few months off as well. some material shipments got delayed, and without it, the stadium won’t be completed for a little while longer. your instructions are the same as last time: keep up with your exercise regime and do as your club tells you. other than that, you’re free to do as you want.’

relief floods noa’s weary body. he turns his phone over, blocking off the light before he pulls you to his chest even tighter. burying his nose into your hair, he holds you against his beating heart. thump-thump, your heartbeats syncopate to one another, and noa already knows he’s going to spend his precious time dedicating himself wholly to you and your happiness.

what he doesn’t see is the next text from his manager. not that it matters, noa has everything he could possibly want right now.

‘you sure are one lucky man,’ it reads. ‘make sure to take some time for yourself and relax, away from sports. breaks like these are rare.'

'you know what they say, noa. there really is no place like home.’

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock smut #bllk smut #noel noa #x reader #fem reader #my writing

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cieloclercs · 7 months

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𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐞 , cl16 — chapter five

pairing. charles leclerc x senna!oc part. 5/? warnings. basically just pure angst 🫠 yeah it’s gonna be like that for a while 😭 swearing, arthur is such an icon in this icl word count. 5.7k

SAUDADE. in which childhood rivals turned best friends realise they were always meant to be something more

05. everything changes (nothing changes)

author’s note. so i’ve had this chapter written for about 2 months. no i don’t have an excuse as to why i haven’t posted it yet 🫠 but i figured i’m going through a bit of a dry spell in my writing at the moment so i may as well post it 😭 hope you guys enjoy, and as always, please leave a comment or reblog if you did !! <3

read it on wattpad!

previous: chapter four next ➜ chapter six

Nice Côte d'Azur Airport 8 February 2021

NOA DOESN’T SEE Charles for another two weeks. She doesn’t hear from him either, not including his brief message confirming her flight’s arrival time. He’s giving her space, just as promised, and she finds herself grateful for that. The time in between their meeting at the café and the looming date of her temporary move to Monaco is for setting the record straight. When Noa breaks the news to her parents, they immediately assume the best of the situation – they’ve patched things up, got over themselves and finally rekindled their friendship. She flushes bright red when she has to cut off her mother’s delighted cheers, and her heart aches to see the grin on her face fall. We’re not friends, she tells them firmly, despite the pain it causes her. Noa is doing this for her career, not for some distant, nostalgic memory of the boy she’d once thought the world of. No. It’s her turn to be selfish for once.

Flávia is understandably upset. Just as Pascale considers Noa to be like her daughter, she has always viewed Charles as a second son. Even though she tries to deny it on several occasions over the weeks before Noa’s flight to Monaco, she isn’t stupid. The first few months after she and Charles stopped speaking to each other, Flávia had been fairly vocal about what she thought of the whole situation. She understood the hurt that they were both feeling, but as far as she was concerned, they still needed each other. Her greatest fear was that they would both continue to grow into the cut-throat world of racing without the person they trusted most at their side. As someone who experienced how difficult life could be at the pinnacle of motorsports, even as only a family member of one of the racers, Flávia worries for them. She had Gabriel to lean on after Ayrton’s death – her best friend and the love of her life. Noa and Charles, as long as they’re apart, don’t have that.

Speaking of her father, he seems to understand her reasoning a little more. Gabriel Borges is ambitious if nothing else. He fought tooth and nail to win his championships and solidify his place in the Formula 1 hall of fame. It’s a trait he’s passed on to his daughter. Sponsorships like this are important now, with racing becoming more and more lucrative with each passing season. In order to succeed, a driver needs the backing of some of the most influential brands in the world. For a rookie, it simply doesn’t get bigger than Chanel. Both Noa and Gabriel know that this is an opportunity she can’t pass up, no matter how difficult it may be for her with Charles there. They need to make it work.

He may not necessarily agree with her ‘keep him at arm’s length’ approach, but if that’s what she thinks is going to work for her, then Gabriel will support her through it.

With Luiz and Eloísa settling into their apartment in Italy, it’s only her parents who wave her goodbye at the airport. Noa has never been a fan of flying. The seats are too cramped and the people too noisy – she can never find a position comfortable enough to fall asleep. Sometimes it can be peaceful simply watching the world pass by beneath her from the window, but eventually, miles upon miles of ocean gets a little boring. So Noa spends the first thirteen hours of her flight wide awake, silently begging the couple in front of her to do something about their screaming baby. Stopping off at Heathrow for the change over feels like a slice of heaven. Just to be able to get up and stretch her legs for a little while is pure bliss. But within an hour she’s back on a different plane, looking down over the English Channel, over Normandy and eventually, the south of France. The nerves begin to set in then. There’s no going back once this plane lands – she’ll be stuck in Monaco with the person she most wants to avoid in the world for the next three weeks. Granted, she’ll have her second family there with her too, but Noa doubts she’ll be able to shake the awkward feeling even when they’re around.

Jetlag’s a bitch, is all she can think when she steps off the plane and into the harsh winter sunlight. It makes her skull ache, beating down on her, yet offering little to no warmth – typical Europe. If only it was summer here like back home. She’s grown accustomed to heat in the high twenties and sleeping with all the windows open. Checking the weather app on her phone, she sees that right now the temperature is barely breaking ten degrees. Lovely. On top of that, Noa hasn’t slept for practically an entire day. She can already imagine the headlines if she gets photographed – Gabriel Borges’ daughter spotted wandering airport sleep-deprived and wearing no makeup! The press would have a field day with that one.

She just about manages to haul her suitcase through security before collapsing on one of the lobby benches. It’s her own fault for overpacking, really. She’s never been one to prioritise well when it comes to clothes. Noa pulls her phone out of her pocket, quickly refreshing it to see if Charles has messaged her yet – sure enough, sent seven minutes ago: I’m outside. Do you want me to come in and help with your bags? Despite the contempt she still feels towards him, Noa could have cried with pure joy. She sends back a brief yes before struggling up off the bench, all but dragging her luggage through the lobby now. She can only hope he gets here quickly, because her arms are surely about to come out of their sockets if she has to carry these any further.

When his figure appears in the distance, the nerves return. He’s dressed like he doesn’t want to be spotted, in a grey hoodie and shorts, large enough that he can practically hide the entirety of his face in the collar. No one seems to notice him. For the moment anyway. When Charles eventually spots her, he seems to hesitate for a moment – like she’d seen him do at the café, arms hanging uselessly by his side as if he wants to outstretch them towards her, but remembers at the last minute that he can’t do that anymore. Noa’s eyes are glued to the ground as she walks towards him. They meet in the middle. He murmurs a brief hello, and when she doesn’t reply, takes her bags without another word.

They walk out to his car in silence. It’s a black Mercedes G63 – inconspicuous by his standards, and perhaps those of the travellers milling around them (many of them are en route to Monaco, after all). It has black tinted windows, she notices. Charles tells her to climb into the passenger seat while he loads her bags into the back. She hasn’t the energy left to complain. It takes everything in her not to fall asleep as soon as she’s sat down, eyes drooping in the dimmed light, a hazy warmth taking over her body. She jumps slightly as Charles opens the door and slides into the driver’s seat. He starts the engine. Before Noa can really process what’s going on around her, they’ve already left the airport.

"How was your flight?" Charles asks after a few minutes, soft spoken and hesitant. An absentminded hum is what greets him.

"It was alright." she murmurs back, fighting off the sudden urge to yawn. There's an edge of discontentedness in her voice, an air of frustration and annoyance about her. Noa has always hated flying, he thinks. Even as children all those years ago, she'd kick up the biggest fuss possible before so much as stepping foot on a plane. His mother always joked about it being because she can't sit still for more than a few hours, which, he supposes, had a fair amount of truth. Charles knows it's because the whole thing made her anxious. He's held her hand at takeoff enough times to have realised it, even if she never spoke the words to him out loud. The memory almost makes him smile. Then he remembers where he is, and his jaw clenches shut.

“Just to let you know, Maman, Arthur and Lorenzo will all be home when we arrive.” Charles is, once again, the one to speak up when they lapse into silence, “They’ve planned a, uh, sort of welcome home – welcome back meal.” He relays, glancing at Noa anxiously out of the corner of his eye. She’s slumped in her seat. The only sign she’s even listening to him is the tiny hum she lets out. “I can tell them you’re too tired to do it today, though, if you’d like. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind pushing it back to tomorrow –“

“No, it’s fine.” Noa cuts across him quickly. “That’s really sweet of them.”

Charles nods. He thinks back to that morning; helping Lorenzo pin up the ‘welcome home’ banner above the archway leading from the kitchen to the living room; watching with a wistful smile as his mother set out a tray of paçoca, the little cylinders of peanut butter Noa used to love when they were younger, on the kitchen table. Where she managed to get hold of them Charles doesn’t know, considering they’re a sweet pretty much exclusive to Brazil. He tries not to think about how Noa will react to it all. The thought digs up old memories he'd rather stayed buried, for the sake of his heart.

“If you want you can get some sleep now. I know you’re probably jetlagged.” He speaks up again after a beat of silence, quieter this time, “I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

Noa doesn’t reply for a moment. She’s still turned away from him ever so slightly, but as he glances to the side, he can see her expression reflected in the window. Her bottom lip is caught between her teeth, biting down hard from the looks of it. He doesn’t know if it’s his imagination, but her eyes appear glossy, brimming with unshed tears. There’s an ache in his heart that he’s not sure how to properly describe. Cathartic might be the only word close enough. It hurts, but at the same time, it’s almost freeing.

“If that’s ok with you.” She finally speaks, after what feels like an age. Her head turns to the side until she’s looking at him. Charles keeps his gaze on the road, but he can see her in his periphery.

“Of course.” He mumbles, a little hoarse. His heart is screaming at his head to turn, to smile at her, to show a little of the warmth they used to share for each other, in the wildest, most fanciful hope she may be reminded of it and find it in herself to forgive him there and then. In the end, he doesn’t turn. Instead, he hears the faint rustling of fabric on skin as Noa curls up a little to the side, leaning her head against the window. It falls silent again. Now Charles is the one with glossed over eyes, battling himself.

“Thank you.” Her voice, melodic as ever, cuts through the quiet. This time he does turn – but she’s not looking at him, already half asleep, eyes closed and fluttering ever so slightly underneath their lids. He watches her until he runs the risk of coming off the road. Charles knows she’s already asleep before he has the chance to say anything in reply.

Noa tends to have very vivid dreams. She remembers many a time closing her eyes and being greeted with an explosion of colour, scarlet race cars screaming down asphalt tracks, her flag: emerald, gold, deep blue, waving her across the finish line. A glinting trophy is thrust into her hands, and she lifts it high into the air, watching the crowd raise up their arms with her – a sea of red and yellow. But today, Noa closes her eyes and sees nothing but darkness. Charles is nudging her gently awake, it seems, less than a split second after falling into her slumber. Bleary-eyed, she sits up. The Leclerc house, her second home, sits gleaming in the frosty winter sunlight like a beacon. A thrill of excitement grips her heart. It’s been so long since she’s seen Pascale and Lorenzo – far, far too long. Her head turns, a half-smile on her face, to find Charles watching her. It falls. The sky seems to darken.

“You ready to go?” he asks. Noa nods solemnly, waiting for him to open the car door and climb out before sucking in a deep, shuddering breath. When she too steps out onto the pavement, her expression is steeled.

Charles is holding her bags in either of his hands. He gives her a look that, after years of knowing each other, she can interpret in an instant – Don’t even try it, I’m taking them in for you. She feels a small surge of gratefulness, but every positive emotion seems to be drowned out by her crushing nerves right now. Noa’s not exactly sure why she feels so nervous. These people are her second family, after all. Maybe it’s the nagging fear in the back of her mind that too much has changed; that things will never go back to the happy, perfect way they used to be.

The doorbell ringing brings her back the present. They’re stood on the front porch now, shoulder to shoulder, tense and stiff. Noa pulls at a loose thread on her joggers, focussing with absolute resolve on the door in front of her – paint peeling away ever so slightly at the edge. She knows if she brushed her fingers over it, they would come away dusted with white paint flakes. A second, maybe two passes. The door swings open.

All her nerves simply melt away as soon as she sees Pascale; arms already held out wide and motherly, eyes glistening with soon-to-be-shed tears, and the most genuine smile Noa has ever seen anyone wear. She looks only slightly older than she remembers. A few more wrinkles perhaps, a couple more grey hairs, but in essence, exactly the same. Constant. At least this much hasn’t changed.

“Ma fille!” My girl. Pascale gasps loudly. She’s rushing forwards, pulling Noa inside and engulfing her in a hug before she even knows what is happening – but the familiarity of it is so easy to melt into. The young woman rests her forehead briefly against her shoulder, suddenly unable to stop smiling, when before she’d been wondering how she would manage to fake one. Of course, she’s known all along how much she’s missed Pascale. The woman has been like a second mother to her for practically a decade. But being here now makes her realise the full force of the emotion. It feels like returning home after a long vacation, when all you want to do is sleep in the comfort of your own bed and relish in the sensation of being utterly safe. That’s how Pascale feels to Noa. Safe.

“Oh, look at you!” she gasps again, pulling away to place her hands on either of Noa’s cheeks. “You’ve grown so beautiful!”

In the two years it’s been since she last saw the Leclercs, Noa has blossomed. From a scrawny eighteen-year-old with skinny elbows and seemingly untameable curls, she’s truly grown into herself. Thanks to training, she’s attained the ‘athlete’s build’ she always craved as a teenager. Days spent soaking up the Brazilian sun on Ipanema beach have bronzed her skin, giving it an almost golden hue. Perhaps it’s the salt air, but even Noa’s unruly curls seem to have matured – instead of going frizzy in the heat and falling messily over her eyes, they now frame her tanned face perfectly. Honeyed streaks of blonde run all the way through to the ends. She looks different, she knows that. But it never hits her until she meets people again who have been absent from her life for years.

“Thank you.” Noa can’t help but giggle. Pascale merely holds her tighter, seemingly inspecting every inch of her face for anything else that may have changed. She can see the surprise and the elation in her eyes – but there’s sadness too, an odd mixture, as if she’s battling with regret. Noa supposes it’s to be expected. They went from seeing each other at least every month to all but no contact for two years. Pascale is as affected by it as she is.

As soon as Noa is released from her grip, she turns to face the other Leclerc brothers, who have been watching the whole time with fond smiles and wide eyes. She goes to Lorenzo first, since Arthur has already seen her fairly recently. The eldest of the brothers opens him arms to her gladly, and she steps straight into them. Lorenzo has always been like her protector. As the boys got older and, as boys tended to do, teased her or played too rough (case in point Arthur almost drowning her at the beach one time), he was always the one to give her a hug and scold them afterwards. With only little brothers (Charles didn’t count, as her best friend), Lorenzo was to her the older brother she never had but always found herself wishing for.

“Woah, how much have you grown? A foot?” he says, pulling away only slightly so her arms are still clasped around his back, and his come to rest on her shoulders. Noa giggles softly. It was a long standing joke that, even at eighteen, she barely rose to the height of Charles or Lorenzo’s shoulder. Miraculously, her long-awaited growth spurt arrived once most girls her age stopped growing entirely. Now she stands at a fairly respectable five foot six – though still short enough for Lorenzo to use her head as an arm rest, he quickly realises. Noa waves him away with a playful glare.

“Did he talk to you in the car? Or was it deathly silent?” he asks, not even needed to use Charles’ name for her to know exactly who he is talking about. His eyebrows raise as if he’s joking, but Noa can sense the hard edge of frustration in his voice. She smiles at him sheepishly.

“I wouldn’t know. I fell asleep.”

Lorenzo snorts. That’s all they say on the matter, because Arthur is soon weaselling his way in between them to give her a welcome hug. Apparently, a minute is far too long for his brother to spend with her whilst he’s stuck waiting on the sidelines.

Charles’ feet padding on the carpeted staircase draw Noa’s eyes unwillingly to him. She hadn’t even noticed him exit the room, too caught up in reunions and holding back tears to pay much attention to her surroundings. He’s taken her bags up to her room, he tells her. She merely nods in reply. The tension doesn’t remain for long – Pascale doesn’t let it. Soon enough, everyone is gathering in the kitchen, all proud, knowing smiles from the Leclercs and gasps from Noa as she catches sight of the ‘welcome home’ banner strung up across the archway. She’d known, of course, that they were planning something, thanks to Charles’ warning, but she didn’t expect something like this. They’ve brought another long, wooden table from God knows where into the room, placing it end to end with the main kitchen table to make more room for the spread set out across it. A white floral tablecloth covers the wood, and on top of it, tiered stands of seemingly all the food she could ever eat – fresh strawberries, watermelon, French cheese (which Noa had been introduced to by the Leclercs, and was shocked to find she actually loved), pineapple, even some chocolate and cupcakes (something she’ll later say is just a one off to her nutritionist), and finally, in the very centre, a bowl full of paçoca, her favourite childhood sweet. She remembers Charles calling her strange for essentially eating peanut butter on its own – but even today, it really is her one weakness.

“Oh, meu Deus.” Oh my God. She whispers. Her hand flies up to cover her mouth, holding back the half-sob she can feel bubbling up in her throat. “This – this is too much. You really didn’t have to –“

“Noa.” It’s Arthur that cuts her off, rolling his eyes fondly, “Just let us do something nice for you. Call it a late birthday gift.” He adds with a smirk. Noa scoffs. A part of her had thought maybe they wouldn’t remember her birthday – of course, she was wrong about that.

“This is amazing.” She speaks up softly after a moment, “Thank you so much.” Her throat closes around the words ever-so-slightly, vision blurring, heart aching in the best way possible. Pascale moves forward to pull her body into hers, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

“We missed you so much, petit ange.” She murmurs, “We’re just glad to have you back with us.”

I’m glad too, Noa thinks. She’s not naïve enough to believe it will all be smooth sailing from here; not as long as the pair of sad green eyes burning into her back remain. But this, she believes fully, this she can deal with. Reuniting with her second family has been a long time coming.

They eat like it’s the old times, bar Noa and Charles’ playful bickering (fallen flat, almost dead now). Pascale insists on piling her plate as high as possible, mumbling something about athlete’s diets being too sparse (or at least, that’s what she could make out with her questionable French vocabulary). Arthur doesn’t spare a thought before diving straight into the cupcake and chocolate stand, ignoring his mother’s protests about him letting their ‘guest’ choose first. Lorenzo opts for the fresh fruit more than the confectionary. Charles tries to resist the pull of sugar, better than Arthur admittedly, but his attempts are short lived. By any right, that amount of food should never disappear as quickly as it does – but before they know it, every last morsel is gone. Noa sits back in her seat, deep in conversation with Pascale about latest goings on in her family life, finding her eyes growing heavier with each passing second. Everything around her feels pleasantly hazy; comfortable. It’s the same way she feels sat at home with her parents and her brother after a good meal, lounged on the living room sofas watching cheesy Brazilian telenovelas. Like she’s safe to just be herself.

Pascale tells Lorenzo, Charles and Arthur to collect all the dirty plates and begin the washing up. They know that refusing isn’t an option, so it isn’t long before she and Noa are alone. It must be mid-afternoon by now, the Brazilian woman thinks, but her limbs are as heavy as if she’s stayed up all night and well into the morning – which, she supposes, technically she has. Pascale is observant enough to have already noticed, luckily for her. They’ve spent all of five minutes talking in the living room when she tells her to go up to her room and sleep off the jet lag.

“Oh, but –“ Noa is quick to interject, “I haven’t even asked how things are going for you yet.” She says guiltily. Pascale has been so fixated on catching up with every single moment of the last two years she has missed, that there hasn’t even been time to cover anything else. Noa is acutely aware that the last time they saw each other, it had only been a year since Hervé passed away. She knows as well as anybody that sometimes the people that look the most put-together are the ones who are struggling the most. She just wants to make certain that Pascale is doing ok – truly ok.

“I’ll still be here tomorrow.” The woman reassures her with a gentle chuckle. Noa’s concerned expression falls into a tired, but content smile. That’s the beauty of it – right now, they really do have all the time in the world to catch up. Until of course the new season begins. But three weeks before her soon-to-be packed schedule feels like a lifetime.

Noa retreats slowly upstairs, not so much as sparing a glance towards her unpacked bags, or even attempting to change out of her airport clothes before she collapses onto the bed, and almost immediately falls straight to sleep. The ease with which she already seems to have slipped back into life in the Leclerc house (which almost feels like home) is unexpected, but by no means unwelcome. She just hopes she’ll be able to carry that feeling of safety with her into the coming weeks, when undoubtedly, some difficult conversations will need to be had.

By the time the Leclerc brothers have finished the washing up – a difficult task, what with Charles and Arthur squabbling over who gets to dry the plates and who has to do the unpleasant job of actually washing them, whilst Lorenzo, serene as ever, allocates himself the task of sorting the various items of crockery away – Pascale is sat alone in the living room. She looks calm, quietly assured, but at the same time, they can sense a level of disappointment that wasn’t there before. Charles fears, before his mother’s gaze even turns in his direction, that that disappointment is meant for him.

“Où est allée Noa?” Where did Noa go? Lorenzo asks, taking the seat next to Pascale and looping his arm fondly around her shoulders. Arthur, not so delicately, throws himself face down on the long sofa facing the television, leaving Charles to occupy the lone arm chair on the other side of the room. It’s ironic, that he’s separated from his family that way, when he’s been feeling separated emotionally for far longer.

“A l'étage. Pour dormir.” Upstairs. To sleep. Pascale answers, soft-spoken as ever. Lorenzo nods, as Arthur flips his body around on the sofa so he’s no longer lying face down, but rather looking up towards the ceiling.

“Ah. Le décalage horaire?” Ah. Jet lag?

“Oui.”

Charles stays quiet. He knows full well his family are waiting for him to say something – maybe they’re not sure what, but then again, he isn’t either. Noa hasn’t spoken a single word to him. All of her attention has been directed towards his mum and her questions, or to his brothers and their playful teasing about how much she’s grown. That still doesn’t take away from the fact that he knows she’s doing it on purpose. Most of him doesn’t blame her, but there’s a small part in the back of his mind that feels almost…betrayed. It takes two to end a friendship, after all. Noa didn’t exactly attempt to salvage the wreck they’d made.

“Well I think that went pretty well.” Arthur speaks up first in French, staring up at the ceiling with his arms crossed over his stomach. Charles looks over, trying to catch his eye. He must sense it, but his gaze remains turned away. Another beat of silence passes.

“She’s quieter.” Lorenzo says thoughtfully. He’s right too. It’s not just in the way that she doesn’t talk half as much as she used to, it’s something in her demeanour as well. There used to be a spark in Noa’s eye that Charles would look towards whenever he needed cheering up. Now when he searches for it, there’s layers upon layers shrouding the once happy memory. Like he’s peering through thick fog, trying to make out a landscape he’s long since forgotten.

“Je ne suis pas surpris.” I’m not surprised. Arthur muses. All eyes turn to him, Lorenzo frowning, Pascale already prepared to question what exactly he means by that. Charles thinks he knows. “Oh, come on. It’s obvious isn’t it?” the youngest of the Leclercs scoffs, sitting up from his relaxed position on the sofa. His eyes are dark, frustrated, perhaps even angry. “First he takes her chance at being offered a Formula 1 seat – with Ferrari, her dream team.” Arthur begins, jabbing a harsh finger in Charles’ direction. He winces, “Then her mother almost dies, and she has to give up her career just to be with her. She’s a Senna Borges. Racing is in her blood. And we all know how hard she worked, just to fall short at the final hurdle – not even through her own fault.” He takes a pause to breathe, eyes now blazing. Charles, Lorenzo and Pascale sit watching in some kind of fascinated horror. It’s rare to see Arthur so worked up. He’s always been the kind of person that can make light of any situation, no matter how grim. But there’s something about Noa and the cruel hand she’s been dealt in life lately that makes his blood boil.

“Now she’s finally made it to Formula 1, where she deserves to be, but she’s also stuck with the person who ruined that dream for her the first time around.” He goes on, turning now to Charles, “Look, I don’t care about what happened between you two. There’s nothing you can do to change it now. But Noa is like a sister to me, and as long as you both refuse to talk to each other, we’re never going to feel like a family to her again. Like we used to.” Arthur speaks, almost alarmingly softly, his jaw clenched hard, “For once just stop being so selfish and look at this from someone else’s perspective. Preferably hers. You know you owe it to her after –“

“Arthur!” Pascale’s voice cuts through the tense atmosphere like a knife, silencing her youngest son immediately, “Do not call your brother selfish. You don’t understand the full story – none of us do.”

That seems to bring him back to his senses. Everything falls silent, but also on the brink of chaos, teetering on a knife edge. Nobody except Lorenzo notices the faint tremor in Pascale’s hand, which he tries to quell by rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. Charles is sat, rigid back, white knuckles, in the arm chair, glaring at Arthur from across the room. Meanwhile the aforementioned blinks as if he’s just awakened from a trance.

"Je suis désolé." I’m sorry. He murmurs, “I don’t know what –“

“Maman’s right.” Charles cuts him off tersely, “You don’t know the full story. You don’t know the things I said to her that night, or the things she said to me…” he trails off, breathing shakily even at the memory of it, “But you’re also right. I took the opportunity of a lifetime from her. She has every right to be angry at me, every right to hate me. That’s why I’m trying to make this right – and believe me, Arthur, I am trying. It’s just…it’s hard.” Charles’ gaze drops to the ground, almost shamefully, “So much has changed.”

Guilt is the most overwhelming part of this whole mess. Even though much of the misfortune that Noa has endured in the past two years has been entirely unrelated to him, he still can’t help but feel partly responsible. Perhaps it was his actions, something at the time he considered to be a mercy, that began the snowball effect. Perhaps if he’d never accepted Ferrari’s call, even though he so desperately wanted it, everything would be as perfect as he remembers. There’s so much uncertainty it’s impossible to predict. But Charles knows, at least from his side of the story, ever since the moment Noa walked out of his life, it’s gradually been growing duller and duller and duller. In a sick sort of way, he half hopes it has been the same for her.

“You do know she could never hate you, right?” Arthur speaks up softly. Charles’ gaze lifts from the ground, eyebrows furrowing inquisitively, “Mon dieu you’re both so stubborn.” He laughs humourlessly, shaking his head, “Noa may act like she can’t even look at you right now, but I know her just as well as you do. Maybe even better now, if you can’t see it.” He arches an eyebrow, “She’s hurting, Charles. You know what she does when she’s hurting? She pushes the people she cares about the most away.”

Winter break, 2014, Charles thinks. Of course. How could he forget?

“I’m just saying,” Arthur goes on, “If you mess this up any more than you already have, then she will end up hating you. But I can see it. Right now, she doesn’t. Not even close.”

Later, Pascale says something to him of the same effect. Hurt can fester. There are only two ways that things can go from here, with them both being kept so close to each other for the first time in so long. Either it brings them closer together – they work through their differences, overcome the mountains that stand in their way, and emerge on the other side even stronger because of it. Or, they’ll push each other away.

“I know what I would do if I were you.” Pascale tells him solemnly, “But you two need to figure this out on your own.”

It’s easy to say that, Charles thinks, when you haven’t made the mistakes they’ve both made. It’s so easy to imagine himself explaining how he thought he’d be protecting her by not telling her Ferrari had approached him. In his mind, she’ll listen and understand, and everything will go back to the way it used to be. But every time he runs the words he might say to her through his mind, he draws a blank. What mere words can salvage the ruins of a near decade-long friendship? What words can do justice the longing he feels to have her back in his life, not just as a distant memory, a relative stranger, but as his best friend. And even if he could find the words, there’s no guarantee Noa will even listen to them. Despite everything, she seems set on keeping her distance. Maybe Charles doesn’t blame her. Or maybe he wishes she’d fight a little harder.

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rassicas · 9 months

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(I don’t feel like rewriting it cause it mostly gets across what I’m trying to say but the first paragraph is just a rant stemming from liking splatfest law as an idea, preferring a more malleable understanding of cannon, and how even good non contradictory things the NOA translators do are often discredited for not being simply 100% accurate [cause it’s often more interesting when it’s not imo] so sorry in advance)

I get being the jp translation lore purist and translator is like your entire brand but I feel like some of the “misconceptions” are just popular headcannons or not bothering to check the NOA translation against the JP one for every line. (Revising this it’s literally only splatfest law this gripe applies to I was just feeling ranty) I get really hammering on the “no there aren’t any more mammals” one because that is an important contradiction but when they don’t directly contradict (like splatfest law [again this entire paragraph is just the product of me thinking splatfest law is a fun idea and specifically disliking it being framed as a “misconception”]) it feels kinda weird to treat taking the translation you have at face value as a “misconception.” (Specifically when it doesn’t contradict established cannon or alter characterization in a major way [this has actually just become a mini rant about how treating any information exclusive to translations as non cannon on the simple basis that the JP translation is the only true cannon is something that I personally am conflicted on {wow the mentally ill genderfuck homestuck prefers a mailable and more flexible idea of what is “cannon” who would have known}]) <=(writing these parentheses sets made be realize I’m kinda just spinning a word salad over one specific gripe)

I also cannot view the Frye thread yet so perhaps there’s more of a thesis to it than Frye not being confirmed to be a vampire squid like them being some other species of squid but it seems like a stretch to include that as a “misconception.” Is your underlying argument is that no cephalings inherent traits from specific aquatic ancestors? Is this just to say the art books and interviews have nothing that directly confirm it? (All of that to say what was the reasoning for including it on the misconceptions list?)

Looking back at the list now those two specific ones are the only ones I’d like to know the reasoning for including (this was not well thought through before I started typing it) all of the other ones I definitely get including and have solid sources to back them up and are good to put out there as definitely not backed up by cannon. The list is over all very swaggy and a great resource I’d just like to hear expanded thoughts and reasoning behind these two being it.

The reason for the "splatfest law" inclusion is how often i'd see it brought up among fans, taken seriously, and incorporated into genuine theories about the future of splatoon's plot (i saw this in theories about splatoon 3's plot, and now i see it with side order).

if it's just a localization funny moment then the odds of it potentially having bearing on the plot/worldbuilding of a game made by japanese developers is next to zero. for people like me who put highest importance on the JP side and want to seriously speculate on and understand splatoon's canon, people want to know what is and isn't just a product of localization! funny thing, i was also a hardcore homestuck fan but i am Like this (obsessive over the established Lore) and have always been. i think its my brand of autism LOL Different pieces of media are going to have different standards to how they treat their canon. individuals will have their own standards to how much they want to adhere to that canon and how they define it. splatoon is looser in some places but parts of it less so once it becomes plot relevant. "splatfest law" is objectively funny and if you believe it based on how you perceive what is splatoon's canon i cannot and will not stop you. i personally choose to believe its not actually part of their legal system and something people will say in-universe as a joke. as for the frye thread you should read it before jumping to conclusions about what point i was making with it. I'll go and post it after this. What happened was that right after frye was revealed in the nintendo direct, someone made a thread speculating that frye was a vampire squid, with points of evidence being that she has fangs (all inklings have fangs and weve seen different shapes of them) and long ears (we've seen normal inklings with different shapes of ears), and then the rest of the "evidence" being based on stuff that was intended to be based on her connection to eels or indian culture. this thread blew up and soon after people were stating, with certainty, that frye was 100% intended to be a vampire squid. it is one thing to headcanon something, but its another thing to tout it as fact, which is what was happening.

#asks #splatoon lore #splatoon headcanons #frye

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islandtarochips · 1 month

Text

Aly x Price

This is for @alypink! For I had asked permission of using her OC named Aly for this short story! (WARNING: Kanoa is REALLY good at making men jealous whenever he’s near any women who are dating. But don’t worry, he’s just doing it for a little fun but when he notices he went too far. He’ll back up.) And this was before my two favorite couples were dating/married! Ok, let the story BEGIN! ---------------------------------------------------------- (2062 words) The 141, Las Vaqueros and the Warriors Task Force were just having a little get together after that one mission they had succeeded. And they all have decided to celebrate at the Las Vaqueros base. They talk, they laugh, they sing, they shout. ALL of that is how they celebrate their victory. Well, sort of a victory when you see Captain John Price standing at the corner. Along with Ghost and Alejandro. He was just staring at the distance watching Aly, the Las Vaqueros Special Tech gal, and Kanoa, the Captain of the Warriors Task Force. He saw the two were really enjoying each other’s company. TOO much actually. Seeing Aly looking so happy and laughing at Kanoa’s ridiculous jokes. He even questioned how she could react with Kanoa so openly but whenever HE’S around with her. She started to look so nervous all the time. He wondered if he did something wrong. He thought that the two of them were doing fine when they last talked. But yet…it changed. “Feeling alright, Price?” Ghost asked as he looked at his Captain. He could see Price was looking tense and was quiet through the whole party. Not like it’s new or anything of him being quiet. But at this kind of event, he’s…REALLY quiet. Like focus quiet. Price snapped out of his trance before looking at his Lieutenant. “Oh- Um- Yes. I’m fine, Simon.” “You sure, amigo? Because you’ve been AWFULLY quiet this whole evening. Something on your mind?” The Colonel asked as he was showing some concern. “I’m alright, Colonel. Thank you. I’m just…thinking. That’s all.” Price sighed as he was rubbing his hand behind his neck. While still staring at Aly and Kanoa’s directions.

Ghost and Alejandro saw where Price’s blue eyes were looking and they looked at each other. The Mexican man chuckled as he crossed his arms with a wide grin.

“Looks like someone is jealous~” He cooed teasingly at the Captain.

Price looked at Alejandro with a small blush forming on his cheeks. He scoffed. “I’m not.”

Then he heard Ghost coughing a bit. “YES. AHEM.”

He glared at his Lieutenant while Alejandro laughed before patting on his back.

“Relaxed, Price. We’re just teasing. BUT.” Alejandro looked at Aly seeing her sweet smile as he also smiled to himself. “It’s best for you to tell her now before it’s too late.”

Price glanced at the Colonel before looking back to see her. He sighed a bit before crossing his arms. “I’ll just…wait until she’s done talking with him.”

Alejandro shrugged as they continued talking for a while.

“Noa! How could you say that to your own younger brother like that? Hahaha!” Aly started laughing as she playfully hit his arm. From his terrible joke story about his brothers.

“What? I was just teasing him and giving him a little love advice to get the girl he wanted~” Kanoa said with a teasing grin. He chuckled at Aly hitting his arm before he glanced to see Price is talking with Alejandro and Ghost.

“Hey, did you get the chance to talk to you know WHO?” Kanoa asked as he was tilting his head towards the direction of where Price was.

Aly took the hint and had a small blush on her cheeks when she spotted Price. She quickly looked away and felt her heart beating a little faster.

“N-No…I…haven’t.” She said it softly as she twirled the strain of her brown hair a bit. Kanoa hummed a bit as he looked at his dear friend. Seeing her looking so shy whenever they talk about Price. He could see how much she wanted to spend time with him but every time the Captain comes around her. She just messed it up sometimes with her words. Like a high school girl trying to talk to her crush. He glanced to see Price was still talking with Alejandro and Ghost before he had an idea come out of his head as he grinned at her mischievously. “Hey, I got an idea. Do you trust me?”

Aly looked up to see Kanoa’s soft dark brown eyes. She smiled a bit and nodded. “Always. What do you have in mind?” She saw Kanoa leaning in making her lean back against the wall.

A small blush forming on her cheeks to see Kanoa was towering over her. “N-Noa?” Kanoa placed his arm against the wall, over Aly’s head and just looked at her with a smile. He even glanced over to see if Price was looking. Price was still talking before Ghost took notice of Kanoa’s action on Aly. He tapped on Price’s arm and told him to look.

Price looked as he froze to see how close Kanoa was with Aly. Pinning her against the wall like that. And seeing Aly’s face was blushing from it.

Price was just standing there, staring at the two with anger. He didn’t even move a muscle after what he just witnessed. For he doesn’t want to make a scene. Kanoa saw Price was looking and he grinned at him. So he planned to do something a bit stupid. The Samoan man leaned his face closer to Aly’s, making Price think he was kissing her. Aly flinched a little seeing Kanoa was only an inch apart from her face and he was covering Price’s view.

Price's eyes widened to see Kanoa making SUCH a bold move. He tightened his fist and clenching his jaw. Alejandro and Ghost could feel the anger from him. And the two saw the Captain storming his way to deal with this.

Alejandro sighed as he shook his head. “He’s a dead man.”

Ghost nods in agreement.

Aly was getting more nervous at what Kanoa was doing before she saw him lean back. “W-What are you-” “It’s ok. I was trying to…fuel things up.” Kanoa said with a wink. Aly was confused by that before she flinched at someone pulling her away. She was suddenly being pulled behind by someone and saw it was Price. Her face was blushing badly as she saw how pissed off Price looks.

Of course, she should be worried of how he would react with Kanoa but she couldn’t help but to feel her heart racing seeing him like this.

“TOA.” Price said in a very pissed off tone. Saying Kanoa’s last name with a scruffy deep voice. Which made Aly shiver after hearing him saying that.

Kanoa took a step back and raised his hands in defense to see Price. He smiled nervously at him. “Woah there uso! I’m just giving her a light pep talk!”

“That doesn’t LOOK like a pep talk, Toa. What in the bloody hell do you think you are doing with her?” Price kept Aly behind him as he was talking to Kanoa. And he walked up to him to grab him by the collar of his shirt. He pulled him down to where his height was. “ANSWER ME.”

Aly’s eyes widened to see this. So she quickly tried to pull Price’s arm. “J-John! He was just talking to me! He didn’t do anything, I promise!” She pleaded Price to calm down before everyone else was looking at this scene.

Price looked at Aly before his expression softened a bit to see her face. Seeing her looking scared and worried. He finally let go of Kanoa’s shirt before taking a step back and breathing calmly. He then quickly grabbed Aly’s wrist, but not in a hurtful way, and pulled her outside of the room that they were in.

Aly jolted at Price pulling her away as she looked back to see Kanoa giving her an awkward smile and a thumbs up.

She just glared at him before she saw Price had already got them to the hallway.

He let go of her as he took a few steps forward away from her. While facing his back to her. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves and tried not to think about what just happened back there. Aly rubbed her arm as she looked at Price. She doesn’t know what to say after what happened.

But she sighed as she mustered up the courage to speak.

“Did I do something wrong, Aly?”

Aly looked at him when he spoke first. “W-What?”

Price was still facing his back at her as he sighed softly. “Did…I do something to make you feel…uncomfortable whenever I’m around?”

She was confused by that question as she took a step forward and gently touched his back. “No no no. I NEVER feel that way whenever you’re around.”

Price sighs deeply and lightly blush feeling her touch on his back. It sends a small shiver on his back. He turned around to face her. “Then..tell me why…” He tried to clear his words. Trying not to look so nervous in front of her.

She waited and gave him time to speak as she looked at him.

“Then…tell me why you weren’t being open with me like what you did with Kanoa? Huh? I was questioning myself SO hard. Of what I did wrong. What did I do to make you feel nervous around me? I missed talking to you. I missed being near you.”

Aly was taken back by his words. “John-” She paused when Price gently touched her hands. Her face turned red and her heart beat faster than the bullet flying across. She looked at him, seeing his soft blue eyes.

Price was silenced a bit as he kept staring at her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes. He could stare at them all day. But he cleared his throat trying to get back at what he was saying. “All I’m saying is…that…I…”

“You…like me?”

Price looked at Aly with a surprising look. Seeing how he raised his eyebrows went up.

She giggled softly seeing Price’s face turning red when she answered him. She smiled at him while still holding his hands. “Do you, John?”

Price looked at her as his expression started to soften and his heart was slowly beating. He leaned in a bit just as their faces were only a few inches away from each other. He breathed calmly while staring into her eyes. “I…do. But…”

Aly also leaned up a bit and could feel both of their hearts beating at the same time.

The two kept staring at each other before Price started to speak again. “I…I think…I love you.”

Aly’s eyes widened to hear this from him. The Captain of the 141, the British man who is the toughest one that she had met. Actually…confessed his feelings?

“You…love…me?” She asked as she was hoping that she’s not dreaming.

Price nodded a bit as he felt a little embarrassed. “Yes. I do. And it’s ok if you don’t feel the-MPH!” He was interrupted by Aly kissing him so suddenly. Which shocked him. But he slowly calmed down before he kissed her back while pulling her close by her waist. And feeling her hands cupping his face.

The two shared a soft long passionate kiss before Aly leaned back and looked at Price. Until she realized what she did. She gasped and moved away as her face turned even redder than a tomato. “Ay dios mío! I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t- Mierda!”

She started to cuss herself in Spanish while Price was chuckling to see her like this. He finds it cute to be honest. Gently placed his hand on her cheek and made her look at him. His smile shows under his beard before leaning in. “It’s alright, love. I wouldn’t mind you doing that out of nowhere.” He chuckled deeply.

Aly looked at him before she leaned into his touch. She chuckled along as she sighed softly. “Soooooo. WERE you jealous of Kanoa making a move on me?” Price laughed a bit. “Well…I guessed I was just a little bit.” “A LITTLE bit? John, you were about to beat him up.”

“And I will do it if I have to.”

Aly giggled a bit as she looked at her new lover. “And John?”

Price hummed in response.

“I love you too.”

He smiled at those four sweet words that he was longing to hear before he leaned in again. “That’s what I like to hear, dove.”

Then the two kissed softly once more. Finally confessing to each other without hesitating.

THE END

Alyssa Martinez (Later Alyssa Price) - @alypink Kanoa Toa - Me I hope you like it! And I hope I got this right though😅

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lazysublimeengineer · 5 months

Text

you are in love

Summary: And you knew what it was, he is in love.

Characters: Michael Kaiser, Alexis Ness & Noel Noa

(A/N: Spoilers ahead. Please be mindful of the tags as I will not tolerate unnecessary complaints nor comments when sufficient tags and warnings are provided ahead of time. Some scenes of this fic are excerpts from the latest chapter of the manga hence the spoiler tags and warnings. I don’t own anything from this franchise. Respective ownership belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura for this wonderful manga and Taylor Swift for this lovely song in her 1989 TV album which is also inspired this one-shot fic of mine).

One look, dark room Meant just for you Time moved too fast You play it back Buttons on a coat Light-hearted joke No proof, not much But you saw enough

“Huh? Are you gonna drink your milk?” Ness asked as he stared at the untouched bottle of milk beside Kaiser’s tray.

The cafeteria was bustling with festive noises and chatter amongst the other players in the middle of their morning breakfast.

“I hate milk. I can’t stand any white-colored drinks.” Kaiser groused as he stuffed the food right into his mouth.

‘Seriously this guy...’ Ness thought wryly with a sigh leaving his lips. He didn’t know whether to be impressed or annoyed by his display of high maintenance attitude towards food.

“Well, then just give it to me if you don’t want it.” Ness replied.

“Huh? Why would I give this if it’s for me?” Kaiser asked dully as he arched a brow at him.

Ness’ brows twitched slightly. “We can’t waste food in here you dumbass. So, either you drink it or just give it to me if you don’t want it.” Ness grumbled out in annoyance.

“Don’t call me a dumbass you loser.” Kaiser scoffed lightly.

“And what makes you think it’s okay for you to call me a loser?” Ness shot back.

“It’s nice to see the two of you getting along quickly. Although I prefer if you cease your bickering in front of your breakfast.” Noa commented in a monotone voice as he stared at them blandly from behind while holding his tray of food.

“He’s got a different breed of humor and I like him.” Kaiser replied plainly as he handed him his bottle of milk.

Ness blinked a few times as he accepted it in silence.

What does that even mean?

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you You can feel it on the way home, way home, you You can see it with the lights out, lights out You are in love, true love You are in love

He was in the middle of cutting his hair when Kaiser’s voice caught his attention.

“Hey Ness. I was originally a mentally weak person.”

His words made him pause for a moment. “Huh?”

“I constantly gave up when I faced things, I believed to be impossible. That’s why to remind myself to never again fall into that weak mindset. I got a blue rose on my neck.” Kaiser stated as he stared plainly at himself into the mirror.

“I see...” Ness uttered as he resumed snipping at the end of his hair.

“A blue rose symbolizes the achievement of the impossible. Artificially created, its unique blue color was not initially seen in nature. An impossibility turned to reality. When I first saw a blue rose, I saw it as an example of turning the impossible into reality. I want to become someone who can’t be defined. A symbol of defiance. A sign of defying the natural order of things. The impossible.” Kaiser carried on their conversation with a blank yet resolute look on his face.

“That’s awesome...” Ness couldn’t help but to listen in awe and amazement at Kaiser’s ideals in life and how he was opening to him about his thoughts and the symbol of his blue rose tattoo in his life.

It made him genuinely happy.

For Kaiser to trust him not only in the field but outside of the field as well.

“I’ll win the champions league and the world cup. And then... I want to cast down the rest of the football world into despair.”

His words made Ness chuckle softly under his breath. “That sounds like you. There. How’s that?” He put the scissors down onto the table.

Kaiser inspected his newly cut hair in front of the mirror. “It’s fine. I just wanted to cut it short cuz it was getting in the way.”

Ness smiled softly at the sight.

He realized that he wanted to be beside Kaiser when he fulfills his dream in the future.

When the rose blooms into a beautiful shade of blue, he wanted to be there to witness it.

Kaiser’s dream became his dream as well.

Morning, his place Burnt toast, Sunday You keep his shirt He keeps his word And for once you let go Of your fears and your ghosts One step, not much, but it said enough You kiss on sidewalks You fight and you talk One night he wakes, strange look on his face Pauses, then says, "You're my best friend" And you knew what it was, he is in love

“Good morning... It’s still Sunday y’know? You can still sleep some more, and I’ll just wake you up again once breakfast is done.” Ness greeted Kaiser when he spotted him going inside his kitchen.

“Fuck. Feels like my head is going to split apart...” Kaiser grumbled as he reached for a glass of water and drank it.

Ness hummed softly in silence as he placed the French toasts in a plate and started to brew some coffee.

“What even happened yesterday?” Kaiser finally asked.

Ness paused for a moment before he resumed what he was doing.

“Well, you passed out in the monitoring room yesterday and we brought you here in my place after examining you in the infirmary over the weekend seeing that we were given a break as Noa advised.” Ness replied quietly. Kaiser couldn’t see his face as his back was turned on him, but he could only imagine the thinly veiled hint of concern and panic dancing in his eyes as he was clear as a book to his eyes when it came to his emotions.

“Huh? I overdid it again yesterday. But the good thing about it is that I already know of a way on how to defeat that clown Yoichi in the upcoming match against PxG.” A triumphant grin etched on his face at the thought alone.

“Of course, you are. I never doubted for a second that you will come up with something amazing Kaiser!” Ness finally faced him with a cheerful smile on his face as he started to walk past him.

It made Kaiser frown.

“Since I’m done doing cooking the breakfast we can start—.”

Ness stopped midway as Kaiser caught his wrist and spun him around.

“Is there a problem?” He asked quietly.

Ness swallowed thickly and tried to steady the erratic beat of his heart inside his chest.

“No there isn’t... Why would you—.”

“Bullshit Ness! I can see miles away your forced smile from here!” His voice rose before Kaiser tried to calm himself down.

Ness wavered slightly before looking away. “Does it even matter...?” He whispered faintly.

Kaiser looked bewildered for a moment. “About what...?”

He tried to push the feeling of loss and resentment but a look from Kaiser’s confounded expression brought it back and his buried emotions and unsaid words came spilling out from his lips.

“Why would you care about what I feel now huh? Aren’t you more focus on defeating Yoichi instead of noticing me and how I got worried yesterday when you fucking choke yourself in front of the monitor room?! I still believe in you... but fuck! When you passed out after delivering your speech of finally knowing on how to defeat Yoichi... I don’t know what to do... I just feel like I couldn’t breathe for a fucking second... I... I... I—.”

His words died on his throat when one of Kaiser’s hands reached out to his nape and pulled him closer towards his face to claim his lips in a deep kiss that created a havoc within himself.

Ness could only grip the lapels of his shirt for support and leverage as he felt weak on his knees, and he might collapse on the ground if he suddenly let go of Kaiser.

All he could do was to close his eyes and return his kiss fervently as if his remaining suppressed emotions came pouring out from that kiss alone.

One of Kaiser’s hands had slipped around his waist and pulled him closer towards his frame to remove the remaining gap between the two of them while the other one had cradled his head gently as he kissed him passionately.

“Please... Don’t do that again... I got worried...” He whimpered against his mouth as Ness couldn’t stop the stream of tears escaping his eyes.

“You really have a little faith in me that I’ll be done for with just a simple suffocation?” He murmured against his lips as his tongue licked on the roof of his mouth which made the other moan softly.

“No... It’s just that... I love you... that’s why...” The admission slipped past Ness’ lips before he could stop himself.

“I know Ness. I know...” Kaiser finally scooped him up on his arms and brought him upstairs towards his bedroom.

Ness didn’t even protest as he surrendered to the whispers of his heart and let his downfall within Kaiser’s arms happened, ensconced in the blanket of blinding ecstasy and pleasure throughout the day.

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you You can feel it on the way home, way home, you You can see it with the lights out, lights out You are in love, true love

(A/N: Reviews are amusing so let me hear them from you).

#blue lock #fanfiction #one shot #spoilers #manga spoilers for chapter 243 #alternate universe #canon divergence #kainess #implied smut #light angst #michael kaiser #alexis ness #noel noa #blue lock spoilers

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kungukingi · 3 months

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Meditations on bris/isbr [2/?] "On That Shared Core Ego"

Link to previous part

This is continuation from the excerpt in the previous post, where Isagi watches Noa’s interview as a child (from his light novel):

“......Winning isn’t the only thing in soccer. Of course I want to win the World Cup, but I want to feel everything about soccer. Like for example……” Isagi will never forget the line that follows until he dies. “Instead of assisting my teammates to win by 1-0, it feels better to pull off a hat trick and lose 3-4. You can't sell that kind of emotion anywhere, can you?” How thrilling! An electric shock ran through Isagi's body. (This person knows why I love soccer!)

And then then it continues into this paragraph:

When he saw soccer for the first time. It wasn't just the feelings of "how cool" and "how awesome" it is that deeply moved him. More than that, he found it "beautiful." Soccer is a team game, 11 players against 11, and it is also an individual game. There are also the surrounding spectators, the stadium, the show and the battle for life. He wants to be that striker, the one at the center of it all.

The first quote is the same one Ego repeats in chapter 1 of Blue Lock when he talks to the Blue Lock recruits, using it as an example of the kind of ego he is looking for. And while Barou has never explicitly said a similar line, he does state repeatedly that he does not care about losing as long as he does not have to make compromises about the way he plays the game. And the way he plays the game is explicitly focused on his own goals.

What Barou says in this scene and the way he goes about playing football showcases clearly enough that he seems to share this mindset with Noa, and by extension — Isagi (to the point of being stupid about it, considering Blue Lock focuses on victories first, point scorers second).

When Isagi is trying to get through to Barou in this scene, he’s thinking of his own ego only, not realising that Barou wants to be at the centre just as much as he does — which is why he fails to get through to him. But he continues to be “hung up on Barou” as he later says himself, in my opinion because there is something in Barou’s stubbornness that he recognises and resonates with.

As such he doesn’t write him off as simply stupid, but rather gets frustrated with him and — as I see it — rationalises his frustration to himself as being caused by Barou “wasting his talents”. I say “rationalises”, because while I think that does frustrate him, I don’t believe Isagi is actually trying to help Barou here for altruistic reasons. Rather, I think he's trying to recruit him to be someone who would play according to Isagi’s own ideas and help him score — which Barou instinctively recognises and rejects outright.

Isagi doesn’t quite yet internalise just how serious Barou is about his ego, leading to Barou having to reiterate himself on the pitch later. This in turn will consequently lead to Isagi eventually changing his tactics with regards to him when he realises he can’t just make Barou into his supporting actor, because Barou wants to be the lead just as much as he does.

Bottom line is that Barou and Isagi love football for similar egotistical reasons (that is reminiscent of Noa’s ego), even if neither is consciously aware of just how similar they are before the 3v3 game against Team Red, because of their contrasting pasts and confidence levels at this point in time, as well as their differing methods of going about getting to be at the "centre of it all".

There's much more to this scene that I will touch upon in time, but I needed to get this out of my system.

Link to next post.

#barosagi #barousagi #bris #isbr #Blue Lock #bris/isbr meta

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lawliet-ryuzaki-ryuga · 1 year

Text

Chapter 5

H X H ( ILLUMI ZOLDUCK)

CONTROL

WC: 2890

TW: mmm None..

A/N: okay so i personally suck at writing any intimate things..... I JUST HAVE NO EXPERIENCE!!!!! UGH IM BASICALLY THESE TWO..... But yeah it’s longer! I’m trying to have more in chapters because i know i like longer chapters when I’m a reader!

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 4

Over the past couple of weeks the two would meet at the Zoldyck’s estate as the young Lucafist’s wished to visit and play with Killua. Leaving Noa to be the babysitter to watch over her siblings. She had stated her annoyance to her parents but they turned a deaf ear to her complaints. Most of the time Illumi would show up from a mission and just sit with Noa in silence, and on the occasion they would have a small conversion. Noa for the past couple of weeks has been training on her nen to become stronger.. But she was yet to try one thing “ the servant kiss.” The assassin sat in complete silence as she racked her brain on how she planned on achieving this skill. It would require her to kiss her target on the lips, but she has never done so, let alone had her first kiss. Noa came to the conclusion that if the kiss she leaves on the cheeks can have a strong effect of controlling the person, then a kiss would make it all the more powerful.. She continued with her thought process while illumi sat besides her and just started at her side profile. Noa rarely blinked but when she did Illumi would notice how long here lashes look.

Illumi never brought himself to accept that he viewed Noa more than just an allie, he will admit that his younger self did possibly like her. Given he had never been around other girls growing up besides his mother and the butlers on occasion. Naturally he began liking the one girl he knew and who would make him feel loved with hugs and holding his hands. Illumi’s train of thought is put on a stop when he notices Noa’s sigh.

“ What’s wrong?” Illumi couldn’t help but ask.

“ nothing that concerns you.”

“ I didn't ask if it concerns me, I asked what was wrong.”

“ I’m just thinking about my nen skills.” Noa bites back not liking Illumi’s tone of choice.

“ What about them?”

“ I don’t know how to do something.” Noa mumbles hating that she had to admit some form of weakness

“ What don’t you know how to do?”

Another sigh leaves Noa’s lips as she drags her hands down her face out of frustration. If there was one thing Illumi loved doing, it was being a nosy man. Noa thinks back to when they were kids and Illumi would ask her all the questions he had.. But no matter what Noa would always answer his questions because she wanted him to feel heard.

“ What i don’t know how to do is how to kiss, if i did then i know i could use it to control my target to the point that i could ask them to kill themselves, instead of me getting my hands dirty.” Noa turns to look at illumi to give him her undivided attention, and mostly to show that she wasn’t embarrassed by her own words.

Illumi just sat and stared at her with his wide owl-like eyes confused by her words. How can she say she doesn’t know how to kiss when she does it all the time, she would even give him kisses on his cheek he would get hurt as a kid.

“ I don’t think I comprehend, you give kisses all the time.” Illumi argues back.

“ Illumi, I mean like on the lips.. Not on the cheek.”

“ Oh, then why don’t you practice?”

“ Illumi.. Since your name means to illuminate, would you like to enlighten me on how I would do that?! Because I think you’re missing the major fact that I can’t practice.. What do you want me to use my hand?”

It was at that moment that Noa remembers her not so proud moments of looking up “ how to kiss” on WikiHow.

“ You can practice on me.” Illumi suggests, not really realizing what he said.

“ Illumi... what?” Noa questions in shock.

“ If you need to train, I can help you.”

“ illumi I have never kissed anyone. What if I do it wrong? And that’s weird, I can't kiss you.”

“ I never kissed anyone, so how would I know if it’s bad?”

“Illumi no.”

“ Why not?”

“ Because i said it will be weird.”

“ It won't be weird if it’s for training.”

Noa stares at illumi like he grew a new head, how could he ever suggest that? It’s awkward enough just thinking about it, let alone having the person to practice on being illumi.the two just look at one another until illumi gets up and extends his hand for Noa to grab. “ Why are we getting up?” Noa asks.

“ we’re going to the woods.”

“ why”

“ So you can practice Noa, stop making me repeat myself.” Illumi reiterates.

“ No.”

Illumi, tired of her resistance, pulls her up by her upper arm and begins dragging her towards the woods. “ Illumi stop, we can't leave the kids alone.” Noa tries to pull her arm away and digs her heel into the floor as much as possible. “ A butler is there, they will be fine.”

The two walk into the woods until they reach their famous meetup spot, their tree. The two just stand and look at one another waiting fro the other to say something. At the same time the two break the silence and speak over one another.

“Illumi i won’t kiss you”

“You can kiss me now.”

Noa stares at Illumi with frustration covering her eyes, why can't this boy just take no for an answer! Illumi stares right back at her confused on why she would not take his help? He was sacrificing his first kiss for Noa to train, she should feel more grateful is what runs through his head. Illumi gets tired of her constant rejection of the idea and decides the best thing to do is to corner her. With that he backs Noa up against the tree trunk and stares down at her from the height difference between them.

“ Illumi what are you doing, move back.” Noa tries to push Illumi away but he’s glued to the ground.

“ You can get this over with now or later, it’s up to you.”

“ Why do you want me to do this Illumi, I already told you I won't kiss you.”

“ So you would kiss someone, just not me?” Illumi asks, wondering if she just didn't want to kiss him in specific.

“ That's not what I meant Illumi.”

“Then what did you mean you didn’t want to kiss me? I already told you it’s for training and I wont judge your kissing.”

“ Illumi I.. I don’t know how to kiss. I don't want to embarrass myself and then it will be weird.”

Noa’s cheeks began to blush lightly, and she hoped that illumi wouldn’t notice. But it was just her luck because Illumi noticed the way the pink blush painted across her cheeks. Illumi wondered if she was nervous? With Illumi not being nervous he thought that maybe if he kissed her first she would not feel nervous to then practice. With that note, illumi leans in and gives Noa a kiss on her lips, just like how she would peck his cheeks before and how she kissed his wrist the other day. Noa in shock stood there unable to move from her spot, did illumi just kiss her? No he didn't, she was just imagining things, surly he just said something while leaning in and it looked like he did..

“ I kissed you first, so you don’t have to be nervous anymore.” Illumi stands before her wearing his famous poker face as he usually does.

“ Illumi, why would you do that!”

“ Because you were nervous so I did it first so you don’t have to be nervous.”

Noa was unable to process his words, she just had her first kiss…

Illumi is beginning to get frustrated with Noa’s lack of training, he has opened the door for her and she still refuses to take the opportunity.

“ Noa I’ll give you till the count of three, if you don't kiss me and start practicing I will go back and kill your brothers.” Illumi threatens Noa, and you can begin to feel Noa’s bloodlust..

Noa’s mind begins to run a million miles per hour, Illumi wouldn’t dare touch her siblings… he knows she wouldn’t allow it. Is he bluffing? Do I risk it? He does know that I’ll go after all his siblings he if dares… standing before him she begins thinking of how she’ll stop him if he tries to attack her brothers.

Noa racks through her thoughts trying to see if he’s lying.. She doesn’t have time to think any longer because when she hears Illumi say ‘3’. Noa grabs the back of his neck with both of her hands and smashes her lips against his.

Was that too forceful, she asks herself as she guides the movement of her lips against his.

Her kiss isn’t like how illumi kissed her, no. Her lips were locking with his, tilting their heads Noa deepens the kiss, having her lips graze and massage his lips a kiss at a time. Given the height difference Noa is on her tiptoes and pulls Illumi down to meet her height. This makes Illumi have to hold Noa’s waist to act as support. Illumi finally catches on and begins kissing Noa back, small smacking sounds coming from their kiss can be heard. Eventually the two had to pull from one another. Both of their lips were a bit red from the kiss, but neither said a word about the other’s lips.

The two stand before each other, Illumi's hands holding onto Noa’s waist, while Noa’s hands were wrapped around Illumi’s neck. The scene looks like it could be a movie scene, or the cover of one of Noa’s books. It wasn’t long before Noa pulled Illumi back in for another kiss, which Illumi couldn’t help but give in.

How could he refuse? In fact how dare he refuse such a request from a delicate and beautiful creature like Noa?

After their shared kisses, Noa was able to make Illumi get the heart of any butler and give it to her. It was at that moment she knew that she had complete control of her target and it wouldn’t wear off like the kiss on the cheek.. The only catch was, if she were to kiss anyone with her nen, the only way to break the nen tied to the kiss was if she kissed her target again. But to Noa that wouldn’t be needed since she would just do this to kill her target, meaning she only needed to kiss them once and not again since they would be dead.

From that day on the two would share kisses on a regular basis. Illumi would always find a way to pull Noa away and into hiding where he could share a kiss with her. It wasn’t like Noa minded, she did in fact like the close proximity of Illumi. If anything she enjoyed the thrill of getting caught. She knew that if her or Illumi’s parents caught them, they would be in big trouble, how dare the two eldest children of the family of assassins be part of such acts outside of marriage.

Illumi on the other hand simply loved the act of possession and intimacy. Knowing she would always melt against his lips, hold onto him like she depended on him.

On many occasions while the two would just walk around the mansion, Illumi would pull her into a dark hallway and have her pushed against a wall, just for him to grab her chin and pull her into a deep kiss. He liked seeing her become flustered at his actions. It was a sight and feeling he enjoyed. It was like he was able to control her in a way.

Noa felt the same way, she felt as though she was able to control Illumi. Yes, technically she could infuse her kiss with nen and control him, but it was something about him always coming back to her. It was like he craved her and she would be the one to control his craving.

One day illumi had come back from a mission and he was covered in cuts and bruises. He had told Killua to invite Noa’s brothers so that she may show up. Once she showed up to the mansion and led her brothers to killua’s whereabouts, she was met with Illumi cold stare.

She sometimes wondered if Illumi got hurt on purpose, just so she would come and clean him up. Though the thought sounded entertaining, she knew that her illumi wouldn’t let his targets intentionally attack him.

With that she had led illumi back to his room holding his hand, though there were butlers around, none said a word knowing that she would not hesitate to pull their hearts out.

Once they reached his room, she closed the door and locked the door behind her. Not wanting anyone to interrupt their time alone. When illumi heard the locking of the door illumi tried grabbing her and pushing her against the door, but she stopped him before he could do that.

She could entertain his desire but she also knew he loved being taken care of, why not make him wait and pull at his strings? No harm could be done, right?

In small gentle movements and the grab of his hand, she made him sit down on his bed, as she grabbed the first aid kit. This was the first time that she had truly cleaned up his wounds in years. She stood in between his legs as she dabbed and cleaned the small cuts with Alcohol. Some other cuts she had to sew them up. She knew that it was painful but he expressed no emotion of pain. But that didn’t stop her from whispering into his ear “ I’m sorry if that hurt” and “ you’re so strong.” And with every whisper she would give a small peck to his cheek or the corner of his lips. And everytime he tried to kiss her, Noa Would shake her head and tell him “ I need to take care of you first.”

Illumi was confused by her words, if she kissed him then she’ll still be taking care of him. Why could she not just kiss him and take care of his desire for her.

When Noa was done cleaning his wounds, she went to take all the supplies back from where she brought them from. All that Illumi could do was stare and follow her movements, how she moved so swiftly, not a movement of hesitation. He never understood how her hips would sway so effortlessly, always leaving him under a trance. When she was back in front of Illumi, she decided to be bold and give him what he’s been longing for.

With one quick move Noa threw her leg over his leg and was straddling him, Illumi has never seen Noa do this, let alone been put in this position before. Noa notices his pupils enlarge for a second out of shock, but that doesn’t stop her from throwing her arms around his neck and leaning in to give him small lite kisses. Illumi keeps his hands flat against his bed, unsure of what to do besides being her test subject. Noa expecting more from illumi, she whispers against his lips “ you’re not going to kiss me back?”

Illumi takes that as his que to kiss her but when he leans in she pulls back with an innocent smile across her face, acting like she didn’t do anything wrong.

In the past couple of weeks Noa has begun mastering the arts of seduction and manipulation. She knew that Illumi likes to be in control but so does she, what better way to give him a sense of control if she just controls the pace of the situation and he controls the situation. With that illumi tries to lean in again but she’s quick to pull further. This game that she’s playing wears Illumi’s patience thin, it’s not long after that he finally uses one hand to grab her waist and the other cupping her face to pull her in.

Illumi attacks her lips like he hasn’t kissed her in years, biting, sucking on her lips. All he wants is more of her. More of her sweet scent to that fills the air he breaths, more of her soft lips that feel like what innocence would feel like. And Her soft touch that feels like Egyptian Cotton.

Noa loosens her arms from around his neck and runs her hands over his shoulders and down his covered chest and back up to his shoulders. Noa does this repeatedly knowing that Illumi enjoys such movements and placements of her small hands.

It wasn’t Noa’s intention to grind her lower half against him, she simply wanted to adjust her position, Or so she tells herself... Illumi for the first time in his life feels something ignite inside of him, a sense of desire, a desperate cry for contact.

With both hands around her waist he pushes her down against him to repeat the friction he just felt a moment ago. Noa let’s out a small moan and that sent Illumi overboard, not realizing his next move, he lifts Noa up from his lap and throws her against his bed. He climbs over her with one leg between her legs, the other still against the floor to act as support and his arms that hold him up. He leans down to kiss her again. Noa takes his close proximity as a chance to wrap her arms around his neck again and pull him closer to her. Noa thinks about wrapping one leg around his hips to pull him down, but she knew where her limits were.

With every break to catch their breath, a small trail of saliva connecting their lips could be seen, but would soon disappear once their hungry lips were molded together again.

----

Moments passed as the two laid in Illumi’s bed while they caught their breaths, it was the first time the two had gotten so physical. Not that they did anything, they both knew the line they could not cross.. Anything outside of marriage is frowned upon in both families. This alone would have both of them banned from seeing one another for life.

“ Noa, you are to never kiss anyone but me.”

“ Is that so?” Noa chuckles panting trying to catch her breath -“Then how am I to do my job?”

“ You've done your job perfectly fine before.” Illumi retorts.

“ Hmm, My kisses are that addicting, you don’t want to share?” Noa laughs as she turns to face Illumi with an amused look on her face.

“ I don’t share what is mine.” Illumi stares at his ceiling, refusing to meet Noa’s eyes.

“ Yours?” Noa lifts herself up and rests her weight on her arm, hovering over illumi, -“I wouldn’t go as far as saying I’m yours now.”

“ Noa, Kiss anyone else and they will be as good as dead.”

Noa laughs and leans in to give Illumi a small kiss against his lips. For a moment Illumi thinks he won the argument, but Noa refuses to be told what to do.

“ Mmmm and you don’t have a say in what I do.”

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pikahlua · 2 years

Text

MHA Chapter 372 spoilers translations

This week’s initial tentative super rough/literal translations under the cut.

1 俺たちをセントラル病院防衛に配属して下さいおれたちをセントラルびょういんぼうえいにはいぞくしてください ore-tachi wo SENTORARU byouin bouei ni haizoku shite kudasai! “Please assign us to the defense of Central Hospital.”

tagline 時は少し遡り… ときはすこしさかのぼり… toki wa sukoshi sakanobori... Going back in time a little...

2 何でそれを知ってる…⁉︎ なんでそれをしってる…⁉︎ nande sore wo shitteru...!? “How do you know [about] that...!?”

3 まだ伝えてないだろうまだつたえてないだろう mada tsutaetenai darou “I haven’t told you about that yet, right?”

4 あの大きな女性が気になる事を話していたので外界の様子を伺いましたあのおおきなじょせいがきになることをはなしていたのでがいかいのようすをうかがいました ano ooki na josei ga ki ni naru koto wo hanashite ita node gaikai no yousu wo ukagaimashita “That big woman was talking about something that bothered me, so I inquired about the state of the outside world.”

5 大きなあの子か！おおきなあのこか！ ooki na ano ko ka! “Oh, that big kid!”

6 加えて避難民の方々にもくわえてひなんみんのかたがたにも kuwaete hinanmin no katagata ni mo “In addition to many refugees,”

7 「決起」……異形の者が"病院"を目指して動いていると聞きます「けっき」……いぎょうのものが"びょういん"をめざしてうごいているとききます「kekki」......igyou no mono ga “byouin” wo mezashite ugoite iru to kikimasu “an ‘uprising’......I hear many heteromorphs are targeting and moving towards a ‘hospital.’“

8 障子くんが行くなら僕も行きますしょうじくんがいくならぼくもいきます Shouji-kun ga iku nara boku mo ikimasu “If Shouji-kun goes, I’ll go too.”

1 これを見過ごして俺はこの先これをみすごしておれはこのさき kore wo misugoshite ore wa kono saki “If I overlook this, from here on I”

2 ヒーローを名乗れないヒーローをなのれない HIIROO wo nanorenai “can’t call myself a hero.”

tagline No.372 NAKED　　堀越耕平ナンバー372 ネイケッド　　ほりこしこうへい NANBAA 372 NEIKEDDO Horikoshi Kouhei No. 372 NAKED Kouhei Horikoshi

3 偽の搬送先を流したが敵さん引っかかってくれなかったそうだにせのはんそうさきをながしたがてきさんひっかかってくれなかったそうだ nise no hansousaki wo nagashita ga teki-san hikkakatte kurenakatta sou da “It seems our enemies did not get tripped up for us by the false destination [for Shirakumo] we disseminated.”

4 山田……悪いがやまだ……わるいが Yamada......warui ga “Yamada......sorry, but”

5 サポートしてやってくれ SAPOOTO shite yatte kure “please support*.” (Note: It’s not clear who the object of this sentence is. Aizawa could be saying “Please support me,” but perhaps it’s more likely he’s saying “Please support them,” as in support their students.”)

1 相澤先生よあいざわせんせいよ Aizawa-sensei yo O Aizawa-sensei,

2 "個性"ってのぁ世代を経ることに強くなる "こせい"ってのぁせだいをへることにつよくなる “kosei” tte noa sedai wo heru koto ni tsuyoku naru quirks get stronger as the generations pass.

3 こいつらはもう koitsura wa mou These guys are already...

4 彼らはもうかれらはもう karera wa mou They’re already...

5-6 俺たちが"三バカ"言われてた頃よりずっと強ェよおれたちが"さんバカ"いわれてたころよりずっとつえェよ ore-tachi ga “san BAKA” iwareteta koro yori zutto tsueE yo far stronger than us when we were called the Three Idiots!

1 甲司もいずれこうじもいずれ Kouji mo izure “Kouji, you may eventually”

2 角　生えてくるかもねつの　はえてくるかもね tsuno haete kuru kamo ne “sprout horns.”

3 この角はねこのつのはね kono tsuno wa ne “These horns, you know,”

4 より遠くの動物さん達に気持ちを伝えることができるのよりとおくのどうぶつさんたちにきもちをつたえることができるの yori tooku no doubutsu-san-tachi ni kimochi wo tsutaeru koto ga dekiru no “they can convey feelings to animals even farther away.”

5 母ちゃんこの見た目で心無い事もされてきたけどかあちゃんこのみためでこころないこともされてきたけど kaachan kono mitame de kokoro nai koto mo sarete kita kedo “[Your] Mama’s had some heartless things done to her with this appearance.”

6 父ちゃんはそんな母ちゃんの為に怒ってくれたんだ素敵な角を嗤ってんじゃねーーーーって！とうちゃんはそんなかあちゃんのためにおこってくれたんだすてきなつのをわらってんじゃねーーーーって！ touchan wa sonna kaachan no tame ni okotte kuretanda suteki na tsuno wo warattenja neeeee tte! “[Your] Daddy got angry for the sake of your Mama, saying ‘Don’t sneer at her lovely horns!’”

7 甲司こうじ Kouji “Kouji,”

8 怒れるようにねおこれるようにね okoreru you ni ne (Literal) “in order to be able to get angry, right?” (Contextual) “it’s okay to be able to get angry, you see?”

9-10 大切なものがわらわらた時ちゃんと怒れる大人になってねたいせつなものがわらわらたときちゃんとおこれるおとなになってね taisetsu na mono ga warawarata toki chanto okoreru otona ni natte ne “Become an adult who can get properly angry when what’s important gets disturbed, all right?”

11 ヒッチコック HICCHIKOKKU Hitchcock

12 オクトーーー OKUTO--- Octo---

1 スパンション!!! SUPANSHON!!! Spansion!!!

2 バーズ‼︎ BAAZU!! Birds!!

1 フ…！ FU...! “Whew...!”

2 その"巨躯"と"鱗"で…！その"きょく"と"うろこ"で…！ sono “kyoku” to “uroko” de...! “With that ‘huge body’ and those ‘scales’...!”

3 何を守る…‼︎ なにをまもる…‼︎ nani wo mamoru...!! “what will you protect...!!”

4 スピナー‼︎ SUPINAA!! “Spinner!!”

5 おまえたちも！ omae-tachi mo! “All of you, too!”

6 その恵まれた力で何を守りたい‼︎ そのめぐまれたちからでなにをまもりたい‼︎ sono megumareta chikara de nani wo mamoritai!! “What do you want to protect with that blessed power!!”

7 傷につけ込まれるな‼︎ きずにつけこまれるな‼︎ kizu ni tsuke komareruna!! “Don’t let them take advantage of [your] wounds!!”

1 今度はおまえたちの子どもが標的になるぞ‼︎ こんどはおまえたちのこどもがひょうてきになるぞ‼︎ kondo wa omae-tachi no kodomo ga hyouteki ni naru zo!! “This [next] time your children will become targets!!”

2 私があの時溺れなかったらわたしがあのときおぼれなかったら watashi ga ano toki oborenakattara If I hadn’t been drowning that time,

3 そんな恐い顔にならなかったかもしれないのに…‼︎ そんなこわいかおにならなかったかもしれないのに…‼︎ sonna kowai kao ni naranakatta kamoshirenai no ni...!! maybe your face wouldn’t have become scary like that...!

4 復讐者にならないでくれよ‼︎ ふくしゅうしゃにならないでくれよ‼︎ fukushuusha ni naranaide kure yo!! “Please don’t become avengers!!”

5 ウウ UU “REE”

6 「ウラミは」「URAMI wa」 “OUR RESENTMENT...”

7 きっ ki “wo-”

8 「消えなイ」‼︎ 「きえなイ」‼︎ 「kienaI」!! “won’t disappeAR!!”

1 代弁者…‼︎ だいべんしゃ…‼︎ daibensha...!! “Representative...!!”

2 「こコデひーろーガか勝テバ」「こコデひーろーガかかテバ」「koKO DE hiiroo GA ka kaTEBA」 “IF the HEROES wiN heRE”

3 「何モ」「なにモ」「nani MO」 “nothing WILL”

4 「変ワらナイ」！「かワらナイ」！「kaWAraNAI」! “chAnGE!”

5 あの夜のーーあのよるのーー ano yoru no--- “That night---”

6 「決起声明」…！「けっきせいめい」…！「kekki seimei」...! “The uprising announcement...!”

7 「日の下をあっあ歩イタだけデ」「ひのしたをあっああるイタだけデ」「hi no shita wo a-aaruITA dake DE」 “JuST w-w-walkING under the sun”

8 「俺ハ殺虫剤を撒カレた」‼︎ 「おれハさつちゅうざいをまカレた」‼︎ 「ore WA satsuchuuzai wo maKAREta」!! “gOT me spRAYEd with pesticide!!”

9 「ヤられタラやり返シテインだ」「ヤられタラやりかえシテインだ」「YArareTARA yari kaeSHITEINda」 “WHAt they DO to mE, I’ll reTURn bACk to them.”

10 「同志ヨ！」「どうしヨ！」「doushi YO!」 “[My] comrades!”

11 「声ヲ上ゲロ！俺ニ続ケェ‼︎」「こえヲあゲロ！おれニつづケェ‼︎」「koe WO aGERO! ore NI tsudzuKEE!!」 “Raise your voices! Continue on with me!!”

1 更にパワーが上がっている…⁉︎コンクリを砕く力で殴ったんだぞ⁉︎ さらにパワーがあがっている…⁉︎コンクリをくだくちからでなぐったんだぞ⁉︎ sara ni PAWAA ga agatte iru...!? KONKURI wo kudaku chikara de naguttanda zo!? His power is rising even more...!? He's hitting with strength enough to crush concrete!?

2 勢いが増してる！キリがない！いきおいがましてる！キリがない！ ikioi ga mashiteru! KIRI ga nai! "[Their] momentum is growing! There's no end [to them]!"

3 これ以上はーー… これいじょうはーー… kore ijou wa---... "Any more than this---..."

1 黒霧の搬送先は研究棟くろぎりのはんそうさきはけんきゅうとお Kurogiri no hansousaki wa kenkyuu tou Kurogiri was transported to the research building.

2 辿り着けたら録音した僕か弔の声を聞かせてやれたどりつけたらろくおんしたぼくかとむらのこえをきかせてやれ tadori tsuketara rokuon shita boku ka Tomura no koe wo kikasete yare When you get there, let him hear my or Tomura's recorded voices.

3 黒霧の"個性"がくろぎりの"こせい"が Kurogiri no “kosei” ga Kurogiri’s quirk

4 この戦いを決着させるこのたたかいをけっちゃくさせる kono tatakai wo kecchaku saseru will decide this battle.

sign 入院病棟にゅういんびょうとお nyuuin byoutou Inpatient Ward

5 弔の為にとむらのために Tomura no tame ni For Tomura's sake,

6 君がきみが kimi ga you

7 ヒーローになるんだ HIIROO ni narunda will become a hero.

1-2 何者ニモナレナイト思ッテタなにものニモナレナイトおもッテタ nanimono NI MO NARENAI TO omoTTETA I thought I couldn't become anyone.

3 おまえに着イテイケバおまえにつイテイケバ omae ni tsuITE IKEBA If I could get to you,

4 俺モおれモ ore MO I, too,

5 "何カ"ニナレルト思ッタ "なにカ"ニナレルトおもッタ “nani KA” NI NARERU TO omoTTA could become something, so I thought.

6 死柄木！しがらき！ Shigaraki! Shigaraki!

7 見テクレ！みテクレ！ miTE KURE! Look [at me]!

1 俺ノ後ロニコンナニモ人ガおれノうしロニコンナニモひとガ ore NO ushiRO NI KONNA NI MO hito GA Behind me there are so many people

2 …障子の声は届いてたよ …しょうじのこえはとどいてたよ ...Shouji no koe wa todoiteta yo "...Shouji's voice reached them."

3 ソイツは SOITSU wa "As for that guy," (Note: He means Shirakumo/Kurogiri.)

4 てめェらの切り札じゃねえ！てめェらのきりふだじゃねえ！ temeEra no kirifuda ja nee! "he's not your [side's] trump card!"

1-2 黒霧ィくろぎりィ KurogiriI “Kurogiri”

1-2 白雲ォ‼︎ しらくもォ‼︎ ShirakumoO!! “Shirakumo!!”

tagline 1 両者疾呼‼︎応えるはーー…⁉︎ りょうしゃしっこ‼︎こたえるはーー…⁉︎ ryousha shikko!! kotaeru wa---...!? Both cry out!! And the response---...!?

tagline 2 WJ50号（11/14月売）は休載します。再開はWJ51号（11/21月売）予定です。 WJ50ごう（11/14つきうり）はきゅうさいします。さいかいはWJ51ごう（11/21つきうり）よていです。 WJ50-gou (11/14 tsuki uri) wa kyuusai shimasu. saikai wa WJ51-gou (11/21 tsuki uri) yotei desu. WJ #50 (11/14 monthly sale) will be suspended. Resumption with WJ #51 (11/21 monthly sale) as scheduled.

#my hero academia leak translations #mha 372 #bnha 372 #my hero academia manga spoilers #final showdown spoilers #spinner is the epitome of tragic hero #gonna make me cry #shouji and kouda #those precious beans tho #MIC #GO MIC #GET YOU SOME SHIRAKUMO FRIENDSHIP

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rainstormcolors · 8 months

Note

For the meme:

YGO + 2, 12, 15

Tristan + 8, 9, 10

Hello! Thank you for the ask!

Yu-Gi-Oh!

2) …my three favorite characters and why I love them so much.

Seto Kaiba has been my favorite from the start. All the versions of him have their value and I enjoy them all, but my personal favorite version of the batch is the manga’s version of the character. The loneliness, his internal struggle that seems viscerally painful, the maladaptive behaviors and the search for understanding, and how it’s apparent he does want to connect with other people but he can’t understand this about himself or accept it. He’s so layered and yet the ambiguity is also relatable --- the way emotions cloud and blur, how we don’t have the words for things. And he’s fascinating and morally grey and allows an outlet for the heightened emotions we sometimes need to see, to connect with to understand this feeling is shared, even as he seems achingly alone, even as he achingly reaches out to others. The theme of grief is also very intense within this character while having a kind of subtly, the way these emotions fold into and hide in other emotions.

Mokuba Kaiba is next. Again I enjoy all the versions of this character but the manga’s version is my personal favorite. I feel he’s a very complex character in the manga’s canon with layers of emotion and a history which he carries and it’s only overshadowed due to him not being a duelist character. He’s so headstrong and loyal and he harbors anger, resentment, loneliness, love and devotion, and he’s incredibly proactive. Something that feels a little overlooked about him in canon is that Mokuba *also* explodes at Seto at Death-T, which is not to remotely excuse what happens later on at all, but rather it shows how the strain of everything had worn both of them down and left neither of them able to handle this.

Noa Kaiba is my third favorite character. A dark isolated attention-seeking and self-destructive doomed character who doesn’t really know what love is and is shocked to discover his capacity to love, that he can love and does love. There’s a certain desperation within Noa’s initial plan, abruptly kidnapping everyone with this hopeless idea that maybe he can just walk back into life as the Kaiba heir when that was never going to be possible, and really he just needed needed needed to interact with people from the outside even as all this hatred burned inside him.

12) …what attracted me into checking it out.

I’ve been a fan for a long time, since the show first aired Duelist Kingdom in the United States, although I can’t recall what exact episode I started with but I know it wasn’t the very start. I also read the manga as it was translated and published by VIZ.

15) …which character I would choose for the chopping block if I knew the writers wanted to kill someone.

If I’m entirely honest, even if there are issues in the writing, I kind of get the impression death was an important theme to Kazuki Takahashi, something he wanted to explore in some form, and he quite literally said this in an interview as well. Which is to say that despite the problems, I feel Yugi saying farewell to Atem as Atem left the world was something meaningful to KT in some form even if I feel I shouldn’t make guesses beyond that. I do think it’s very fair to dislike this ending or to discuss and point out the issues, but previous discussions could also be guilty of neglecting the personal angle this storybeat may have carried and how people do indeed have to say goodbye sometimes or watch someone they love die. Which is to say, I don’t want to change what may have been meaningful.

Tristan Taylor / Hiroto Honda

8) …a headcanon I have about this character.

I think he was kind of the family baby while his sister had “eldest daughter syndrome” in some form. I think he helped keep Jonouchi stable before the beginning of canon.

9) …which of their relationships I would have cultivated more if it were up to me (both romantic and platonic).

Honda’s kind of left in the background of the story but he’s also a constant presence through the story. He’s given personal relationships with Jonouchi and Otogi. I very much like the quiet loyalty he felt towards Mokuba. I wouldn’t mind more Honda and Mokuba content in that way, the way people can come to care about each other quietly. Also – Blankey! Imagine more Blankey scenes!

10) …if I liked them immediately or if took a while before I warmed up to their character. Alternatively, if I disliked them immediately or if they lost my trust as their story progressed.

I was neutral towards him for quite a while. I could appreciate him as a loyal friend but it wasn’t as if I personally gravitated towards trying to understand him particularly. I think fandom discussions have been very good for me engaging more with the text, the characters inside the text, what they mean, and how we relate to them, how other real people relate to them, and in turn I’ve been able to understand others as well.

Thank you again for the ask, and I wish you a nice day.

#seto kaiba #mokuba kaiba #noa kaiba #hiroto honda

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canirove · 2 years

Text

Ten years | Chapter 10

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"You never told me why you left Paris."

"Uh?"

We are on our way to a nearby town where we are visiting a Vikings museum, the kids very excited about seeing swords and a boat. And of course, Noa is glued to my hand.

"Paris. I just know that you suddenly came back."

"Well, we weren't exactly on speaking terms when it happened."

"I know, but you still talked with my mum, and she never shared the details."

"It's just... It's a bit embarrassing. That's why."

"How so?"

"I... I gave up. Because I’m a coward" I say with a shrug, trying not to cry in front of everyone as the memories come back.

"What? You aren’t…"

"Can we have this conversation later? When we are alone."

"Of course" Declan says, putting a hand on my shoulder and giving it a little squeeze, his touch instantly making me feel better.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

After a very successful visit to the museum where everyone took photos dressed as Vikings, and a well deserved lunch, it’s time to go to the river.

While I stay in the shadow with some of the kids who aren’t in the mood for water just yet, Declan goes in with the rest, helping them swim and playing with them. And I can’t help but stare. Stare, and smile like an idiot. The kids adore him, and they are constantly asking for his attention, all of them laughing with his jokes. And I’m starting to imagine this being us with our own kids, spending a summer day by the river and…

“No, stop it.”

“Stop what?” Noa says, her head resting on my leg.

“Oh, nothing. Just a bug that was trying to attack me, don’t worry.”

When I look up again, I see Declan coming out of the water, and I find myself gasping. Yes, he isn’t as muscled as Benjamin. Or as tanned. He literally looks like a ghost. But there is something on the way he walks, on his gaze, on all the water dripping over his body, and on the moment when he runs a hand through his wet hair, that makes me feel extremely turned on. There, I said it.

“When are you planning on joining us?” he says when he makes to where Noa and I are sitting.

“What?” I ask, still trying to process what I just saw and my current state.

“The river. Why don’t you join us? The water is perfect, and it is starting to get really hot outside.”

“It actually is, yes.” But not because of the sun precisely.

“C´mon, let’s go have a swim. What do you say, Noa?”

“Will you come with me?” she asks me.

“Of course.”

“Great” Declan says with a smile. “Let’s go guys, you won’t regret it.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“I thought you said the water was perfect” I say as I start walking into the river, Noa on my arms. “It’s freezing cold.”

“It will be perfect in a few minutes. Just keep going.”

“Urgh.”

“It is so cold” Noa says when her feet finally touch the water, her arms tightening around my neck.

“It won’t once you get your bum wet. You’ll see” I say, quickly bending my knees so her butt touches the water, and then quickly getting up .

“Cold!” she says, laughing.

“Then we must do it again” I say, this time going a bit deeper, the water reaching her waist.

“Still cold” she says with another laugh.

“Then… again!” And we keep going like that for a while, both of us laughing until the water reaches our necks. “How does it feel now?”

“Nice” she says. “I want to swim! Teach me!” But I don’t have the chance, one of the other kids jumping into the water next to us and leaving us soaking wet. Though Noa doesn’t mind, she just laughs.

“Now it’s my turn!” I hear Declan say from the rock they are using to jump.

“Be careful, Rice. You don’t want to start the season injured!” Stefan says from the shore.

“I’m an expert. Watch me” he says, jumping and making the biggest splash, everyone getting wet even if they didn’t want to.

“That was so big!” Noa says when he comes out of the water next to us.

“And dangerous” I add.

“I’ve been jumping from there since I was a kid, it’s fine.”

“But the river is constantly changing, Declan.”

“Now who is behaving like a mum?” he says with a smirk, making me roll my eyes.

“I want to jump too!” Noa says, putting one of her arms around Declan’s neck and making us stand closer to each other. Way too close.

“It’s too dangerous, and you don’t know how to swim yet.”

“I’ll jump with her” Declan says.

“What? No! Are you mad?”

“Yes, I’ll jump with you!” Noa says, throwing herself at him.

“We’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Dec…” I sigh. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“Because I had missed hearing you call me Dec” he says, his smile getting bigger. “Anyway, should we go jump?”

“Yes!” Noa screams.

“Please be careful” I say as I watch them leave.

Once on the rock, Declan asks Noa something, probably if she still wants to do it, because she just nods. Then he teaches her how to pinch her nose and hold her breath, their weird faces making me laugh. After a few tries, he asks her if she is ready, rehearsing how to hold her breath one last time before holding her tight to his chest while she does the same around his neck.

“One, two… three!” Declan says, jumping into the water.

They probably stay under the surface for just a couple of seconds, but it feels like forever. The moment I see them coming out, Declan checking if Noa is ok and breathing again, I find myself also taking a big breath. I was holding it just as they were.

“Are you ok?” I ask Noa as they walk towards me.

“Yes!” she says, a big smile on her face. “I want to do it again!”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

That night the kids are all so tired after the swimming and jumping, that after dinner they all go to bed, leaving just us the adults around the fire. Though after a few minutes Stefan and Edith also leave, and it is just me and Declan.

“Today was a really fun day, wasn’t it?” Declan says.

“Yeah.”

“I was so afraid we wouldn’t manage to be normal again and just… have fun.”

“So did I.”

“But I guess being just the two of us… That helps.”

“Oh, not having your girlfriend twisting everything I say and do, does help a lot. Where is she, by the way?”

“Birgit?”

“Do you have more annoying girlfriends?” I say, arching an eyebrow but also smiling, hoping he sees that I’m just messing with him and not trying to be rude on purpose. Well, maybe just a little.

“I do not, no” he says, also smiling. “When I told her I was going to be away with the kids, she decided to go back to London.”

“She didn’t ask to come with you? Maybe try to change your mind and say this was boring and that eww, nature?”

His only answer is a little laugh, his eyes focused on the fire, suddenly finding it very interesting.

“I am right, am I not?”

“Yes, you are” he says. “I think you’ve been right since the beginning.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Don’t sound that surprised” he chuckles.

“But I am surprised. I didn’t expect you to say something like that.”

“Well, I said it. And I’m falling sleep, so I better go.”

“Wait, like that? You are not going to say anything else?”

“Tomorrow.”

And after that he just leaves, my eyes focused on his back (his very nice back I may add) while trying to understand what the hell just happened.

#declan rice #declan rice fanfic #declan rice x reader #declan rice imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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pparadiselost · 2 months

Note

your noa fanfic drove me crazy there is nothing i wouldn't do for you to write about ego 🧎

actaeon.

ego jinpachi x fem reader ego sets up the perfect trap to make you undeniably his. warning(s): nsfw, noncon, being filmed without consent, exhibitionism minors do not interact. author's note: hello there! thank you so much for sending in a request!! this one... got a little out of hand and gnarly, so if you'd prefer that i write a fic without the dark content, please shoot me another ask and i'll happily write up another fic for you!! (ノ*°▽°*)

ego jinpachi is distinctly aware of who he is as a person, and he’s distinctly aware of the privileges that come with his odd place as the coach of the blue lock project. he’s sworn under some legal masquerade to use his power only for the betterment of soccer’s future, as if anything other than his obsession with the sport flows inside his veins.

he knows his place as a heretic. he’s an outcast always looking in: the director but never the star, the god but never the devotee, the abyss but never the light. he’s seen the way people distances themselves away from him, be it anri or even veterans like noel. ego is perfectly content playing the role he does. his crazed behavior brings the end, and in his worldview, the ends always justify the means.

but that doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy the unforeseen pleasures that spring up along the thorny path. he’s a free man now, and he has the world at his disposal. fortune favors the bold, but happiness favors the hedons.

“you’re so sloppy,” he drawls in that condescending voice of his. if it weren’t for the slight edge to it, you would think it sounded robotic. his long cock is buried deep into you as you squirm in his lap, and his long arms hold you flush and captive against his chest.

you’re faced with the horrifying sight of every single one of ego’s giant monitors lit up, each one displaying you. they’re all relatively innocent moments from your life. you’re eating breakfast in one, scrolling through your phone on the other, paging through a book you picked up in another… things that, creepy as they may be, are candid snapshots of your average life.

except for the singular monitor facing center stage, seeming to mock you. you watch, stricken with fear, as the video plays a recording of you stuffing your fingers in your cunt, your pussy stretched out unmistakably on display. ego grins devilishly, and he thrusts in rhythm with the video of you masturbating.

“n-no… don’t do this to me-,” you squeak out. you need to clear your mind, need to speak reason into him, need to persuade him to get rid of these clips and to quit using all the cameras in the building for ill, and yet with his cock sliding in and out of you, it’s impossible for you to get any of your priorities straight. “d-don’t thrust into me like that-!”

“but you like it. you like it when i fuck you to a video of you getting off,” he giggles. you don’t need to be looking at him to envision the crazed gleam he’s bound to have in his eyes. you hate how much your pussy flutters and stretches around his cock, your juices making you gush every time you sink back down onto his lap.

his hands tweak at your nipples, and he pinches your hardened buds in rhythm with the video. every time your fingertips swirl at your sticky clit, he moves his hands accordingly. pleasure courses in hot flashes across your vision and your cunt, and your hips move lewdly on your own, against your better judgment.

“feels good, doesn’t it?” he chuckles behind you. his voice sounds high-pitched and crazed, like he’s a schoolboy going crazy over a scrap of attention from his crush. you should be disgusted, you should be scared, and yet with each inch of his long cock that pushes in and out of your squeezing pussy, your mind threatens to go dangerously blank.

you shake your head weakly. sparks of heat and pleasure light up inside your brain. the dull stretch inside of your walls has your stomach doing backflips, his cockhead prodding deliciously at all of your deepest parts. “no- not you- you can’t do anything to me-”

he clicks his tongue, and when your head slumps against your chest, trying to retain your sanity by looking away from all the lewd videos of you he’s hoarded, he hisses as if you’ve scorned him. he grabs your face harshly, long and calloused fingers digging into the flesh of your face and neck, and he wrenches your eyes upwards so that you can’t look away from the screen.

you hate it. your vision blurs when tears glaze over your eyes, but that can’t save you from the video. your legs are spread shamelessly open, your drenched pussy fully out on view as you toy with yourself. your face is twisted into a clear moan, lips parted as you gasp and cry out in pleasure, fingers buried deep inside of your cunt. your juices drool generously out of your clenching hole, and your thighs quiver uncontrollably as you masturbate.

“see? i have all of this and more,” ego murmurs. the glee in his tone is unmistakable. “i know how you like to touch yourself, how you like to be fucked. it’s cute that you think you can hide anything from me. you’re more feisty than you let on, aren’t you?”

he thrusts harshly up into you, his heavy balls slapping up against your clit. you barely bite back a strangled cry, electric sparks springing up inside of your chest. something tight pulls at your core, heat swirling like a slow whirlpool. you grit your teeth, and your breathing grows shallows. the friction of his cock rubbing into your gummy walls feels sinfully good, and his almost inhuman length makes it ridiculously easy for his tip to ghost over all of your sensitive parts.

it’s a lethal combination. his dick is just as long and tall as the rest of him is, not too thick but so long and enough to fill you up perfectly. each pump of his cock into you has you seeing stars, your nerves twitching and collapsing under the mounting pressure inside of your pussy. maybe it’s that, but maybe it’s also all the time he’s spent in the shadows, learning every inch of your body through the illicit videos and streams he’s collected of you, memorizing every quirk, every kink you have, making sure he knows by heart the best way to get you to crumble under his touch.

he was a feral beast that had been lying in wait, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. all you needed to do was to let your guard down for a split second, and he took full advantage of it to expose every single one of your weaknesses.

“don’t your worry. i’ll prove to you that i mean everything i say. there’s nothing i hate more than someone that can’t live up to their bragging. results… results are the only things that matter in this world��,” his sick laughter snaps you back out of your grief, “—even if that means making you cum until you’re a fucked out mess.”

he grips at your thighs, spreading your legs open a bit further in his lap so he can fuck his cock even deeper into you. your head feels heavy, a loaded scream locked in your throat when his tip starts fucking into your deep spots. you swear he’s hitting at your cervix, his cockhead trying to pry the entrance to your womb open so he can defile you thoroughly. you wouldn’t put it past him; ego was never the kind of guy to be satisfied with only doing the job halfway. it was always all or nothing with him.

pleasure consumes you from the inside out, his length stretching you out obscenely. your tight walls were massaging him so expertly, and ego can almost delude himself into believing that your cunt was made just to fit around his dick. you were made for him, made to be his perfect mate, and all the times he spent pleasuring himself to the illicit videos he took of you couldn’t even come close to actually getting his paws all over you.

“right here, isn’t it?” he thrusts up harshly into you, and you jerk back against his chest when heat slams down onto your skin. he’s abusing your g-spot, relentlessly bullying your sweet spots. helpess cries escape from you unwillingly as he fucks into you at his pace, his thrusts too sharp and too quick for you to relax into it, but your brain eagerly soaks up the friction. your cunt is begging for cock, wanting the addictive feeling of being filled up disrespectfully like you were just some loose toy, keeping you at constant odds with your shattered rationale.

ego giggles in your ear, and you know his words are right. he does genuinely have you struggling futilely in the palm of his hand. you’re overwhelmed by all of the sensations around you: the haunting image of your fingers stuffed in your pussy flickering behind your eyes like a mocking vision. your hole was unknowingly milking him over and over, the shame and embarrassment of having to watch yourself fingering yourself while getting fucked making your pussy fall victim to all of the confusing pleasures.

“i can feel you getting tighter and tighter. i’m making you feel good,” he mocks you. his hands keep squeezing at your boobs, mesmerized by the soft flesh of your chest. his balls slap up against your skin, just waiting to spill his seed into your pussy and make you his forever. he sounds so pleased with himself. “you love to act like you’re all high and mighty, but we’re the same, you and i. it’s why i think you’re perfect for me. you’re just as dirty, just as much of a freak, and it’s my job to make sure you know that.”

tightness flares in your gut as if it’s mocking you. you don’t want to cum, don’t want to break that final boundary, don’t want to admit to yourself that you’re fully getting off of being manhandled and disgraced like this. but your body was never yours this entire time, and whatever madness possesses you right now only cares about the long dick sliding in and out of you.

“are you gonna cum? you’re gonna cum, aren’t you? filthy girl.” he twists your nipples harshly as if to emphasize his last few words. you feel so heavy and so weak all at once, broken down bit by bit and torn apart like a sheet of paper. how could you even dream of fighting back? you grit your teeth, not wanting to think about the frothy ring of ivory forming at the base of his cock, where your entrance is enticingly stretched out. “cumming from having a guy like me defile you… cumming from getting fucked while i play a video of you playing with yourself… filthy, filthy girl.”

tears had dotted over your vision a long time ago, and this was already a battle for you to lose the moment you got roped into his trap. your pride grips at your mind one last time, and you flex your thighs, wishing yourself the strength to forgive yourself when the worst of this would be over. even if intuitively, you knew that this was nothing more than the beginning to a wretched, wicked fall from grace, you wanted to take what little your remaining sanity could afford you.

you muster up the firmest voice you can. “you’re the absolute worst- you’re the scummiest man i know!”the lanky man simply laughs again, unaffected by your hurled insults. “oh, please. you’re just too predictable? you think i don’t know that? you think i wouldn’t consider myself scummy and awful after i’ve filmed you for so long in secret? what a stupid whore you are. it’s a good thing you have that pretty body of yours. otherwise, you’d really be nothing more than an unsalvageable excuse for a human being. naïve, gullible, all too easy for me to take advantage of…”

he pauses for a moment, and he leans in. horror settles in your psyche again when you can feel his hot breath fanning over the curve of your ear, and he presses a sickeningly gentle kiss right behind your ear.

“and if i’m the scummy one,” he murmurs contemplatively, “what does that make you? you’re the one getting off on it. you say you’re not, but your body doesn’t lie to me. i can feel every little fucking thing that slutty pussy of yours is doing whenever i fuck myself into you.”

your stomach twists, painfully and needily, and your legs shake as his cockhead keeps ramming into your sweet spot. his tip bullies you right where you like it most, and your vision glazes over, threatening to go hazy and leave you at the mercy of this terrible man. you’re gonna cum—you can feel it. you can feel the heat building up inside of your core, the depraved tension just about to break.

you clench your eyes shut and brace yourself. your walls are greedily sucking onto his length, the wet noises of your bodies coming together echoing across the room. your toes curl as the pleasure overtakes your mind, and it feels like a second pulse is forming in your cunt, your body no longer willing to listen to you.

you grit your teeth and throw your head back against ego’s shoulder, much to his delight. “...nngh-!”

your pussy clamps down on his cock, milking him with all it has. it feels like something deep inside your stomach is exploding, and heat grips you all over. your nerves all feel as if they’ve been lit on fire. pleasure floods your brain as your pussy quivers and throbs. you hate that it feels good, a pleasure so blinding that your vision spins and it feels like you’re losing your center of gravity. any lingering strength escapes from your body as you shamelessly orgasm all over the cock that’s stuffed deep inside you, your walls fluttering all around his length and drooling around it as if it's the most delicious thing your cunt has felt.

even as your high consumes you entirely, ego continues to fuck his hips upwards into you, threatening to break your body in half over his dick. you let out an incoherent cry, thrashing weakly against his frame. “n-nooo… d-don’t…!”

he laughs, his voice raspy and evil. “you came, didn’t you? don’t fucking lie to me. i told you i can feel everything, can’t i? that pretty little pussy of yours came from getting fucked by my cock. and to think you were going on and on about how you hated me that much… you’re not above getting dicked down, are you now? that’s what i thought… you really do look the prettiest when you’ve been fucked out like this.”

you don’t even have it in yourself to fight back against him. his cock weighs heavy inside of you, still thrusting rapidly into you despite the overstimulation that starts to claw at your weary insides. it’s too much; he’s moving too much at his own peace without any consideration as to whether or not you can fully keep up. but you don’t have any remaining fight to do anything to defend yourself, and it’s all you can do to even keep your head upright as he pistons his hips into you as if you’re his personal sex toy.

he twitches dangerously inside you, savoring the newfound tightness of your walls from fucking you straight through your orgasm. you’re sobbing softly, unable to form full thoughts and just crying out, praying that this whole thing will stop soon so you can tend to whatever remnants of your shattered psyche you can salvage. he’s close too: you can feel the way his cock throbs and shudders inside of you as he drags his inches in and out, the way his balls tense up against the curve of your ass, his ragged breathing and his muttered threats of stuffing your cunt up so full with his cum that not even contraception can save you from being marked inside and out by him.

you brace yourself. it should be over once he’s done having his fun with you.

but instead, he pauses. you peel your eyelids open at the sudden stop, and you gasp when he leans forward in the seat he has you trapped in between. he’s still buried deep inside you, his cockhead pressed up dangerously against the entrance to your womb, but he reaches for the controls of his monitor.

you know better than to think he has anything good in mind by reaching for his technology. but ego is faster, smarter, in all ways better at thinking a step ahead of you, and after pressing a button, he quickly traps you in between his long limbs to keep you from moving. you whimper pathetically, your legs spread out to reveal your stretched out cunt being continuously speared on his dick.

“shhhh,” he chuckles, the maniacal gleam in his eyes twinkling with an unmatched madness. horror swirls again inside of your gut when you hear the mechanic whirring of a camera, and your fears are confirmed when the giant camera lens atop his many desktop monitors swings towards the two of you, seemingly focusing straight onto your fucked out, restrained form, getting fucked out helpessly like some scene straight out of a porno.

in another move of faux affection, he kisses the shell of your ear. “letting you get off with only getting creampied is too predictable, don’t you agree? just you wait, my filthy girl… in a few seconds, that camera is going to display everything we’re doing to the entire facility… those hungry, hungry boys are going to see you bouncing up and down on my cock, and they’re going to see every second of me filling up that little hole of yours with my cum.”

you don’t want to accept this ridiculous truth. this has to be a bad dream, a manifestation of your nightmares that you just can’t wake up from, and yet the painful aches at your thighs and inside your pussy tell you otherwise. this is the reality you’re trapped in, and you can’t run away from it.

“you’ll be all mine forever,” ego whispers as the cameras buzz to life, sealing your fate entirely. “i just have to make sure the entire world knows it.”

if you enjoyed my writing and would like to show appreciation, you can do so by donating to the humanitarian cause in gaza!

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock smut #bllk #bllk x reader #bllk smut #jinpachi ego #x reader #fem reader #my writing

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ithinkilikeit-reactions · 1 year

Text

3 Book reviews from someone with no credentials other than the ability to read

I have been reading a lot again lately and this year I finished 3 books so far! So I wanna do a little review of the books because I think it’s fun and I really missed reading! Let me know if you’ve read these, what your thoughts were or if you have a recommendation for me!

Might contain spoilers

You’ve Reached Sam - Dustin Thao

It had been a minute since I had read a book with romance adjacent plot, I had recently watched a lot of tragic love stories in films and wanted to read something with a bit of a tragic air to it. Sam and Julie’s story is definitely tragic however I should have maybe skipped this one. The book is a Young Adult story about healing and moving on and that’s how it’s written. Young Adult is an amazing genre and considering I hadn’t been reading for a while, I thought diving in with YA book would be good for me and I thought wrong. It’s not that the story isn’t written well, it’s more that I found myself feeling slightly too old for it. I also found myself getting incredibly frustrated with the main character and some of her choices, while still understanding her loss.

This being said, the ending was a great sense of closure for the book and main character Julie. It also had me bawling my eyes out as I’m an emotional wreck in general.

2.5/5 Good read, just simply not for me!

My Grandmother asked me to tell you she’s sorry - Fredrik Backman

The connection between grandmother and granddaughter is something beautiful, as someone who has grown up with my grandparents surrounding me this book definitely hit me where it hurts. Elsa and her grandmother’s relationship was absolutely beautiful, even after the passing of her grandmother. I liked that Elsa didn’t regard her grandmother as a saint, learning about her wrong doings in the past and holding her accountable. There’s a beautiful sense of forgiving in this book, the residents of the apartment building all being connected to the grandmother in one way or another. Elsa’s grandmother created an entire world to make Elsa happy and it’s simply stunning. There’s a hint of found family trope in this book as well and that is simply my favorite trope ever. However, the wurse’s death had me sobbing because in my head it looked like my dog.

4.8/5 as no book is perfect but this one nearly is

Pachinko - Minjin Lee

Now this book is another one that hits me in an emotional way. I have a Korean grandmother and know that she lived through many things in her life, she doesn’t like to talk about it and I don’t pry. This book gave me some insight however. I loved that you travel through this family nearly generation by generation, starting with Yangjin moving to Sunja, then to her sons Noa and Mozasu and then to her grandson Solomon. It’s a tragic story, Sunja’s life having never been quite easy. The first 2 parts of this books touched me the most, Isak and Hansu’s characters being so different yet both oddly appealing. I love that Sunja grew to love Isak as he was truly her savior. While sometimes not much happened within the chapters, I found I couldn’t put the book down as I needed to know what would happen.

It made me feel sad to see the shame people had simply being Korean yet also not being able to detest the Japanese as a lot of them grew up among them despite the things the country had done. It was interesting to see and shed a personal light onto the entire situation through the eyes of one family experiencing life this way. At many times through out this book I wanted to extend my arms and give Sunja a hug. Especially at the end, as she visits Isak’s grave to speak with him and burrying Noa’s picture next to him so that she has a sense of closure knowing her son is with him.

4.5/5 The last part of the book didn’t keep my attention as well as the other parts. But the last chapter made my chest hurt, feeling sad that I wouldn’t get to see anything else from this family that I had been following for 500+ pages. I simply wept at the last page.

If you have read any of these, let me know if you shared some thoughts! I know this is a kpop writing blog but reading has been bringing me peace and I wanted to share it with you all! Might do this more often after I finished another 3 books.

#you've reached sam #dustin thao #my grandmother asked me to tell you she's sorry #fredrik backman #pachinko #minjin lee #book review

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psychewritesbs · 2 years

Note

Talk about difficult asks :D

Your top 5 Clamp ships please?

Sorry noa. I was busy adulting and chatting with you about fandoms so it took me a while to answer your ask.

This was hard btw. Like... how am I supposed to list my faves in order?! Also, do I even have FIVE top CLAMP ships?!!!

Run-on-sentences and fangirling below the cut...

Edit: it’s kind of interesting that the ships follow a specific pattern. I wonder if you can pick up on it!

5. Toru and Saya x/1999

Based on one single panel.

Yes, I’m shallow. But I seriously love this panel so much. Not only is it aesthetically beautiful, it evokes a very beautiful and gentle feeling in me.

I do feel like this panel is just so telling of how much they loved each other. And it’s also both a sort of a... prelude so to speak? to Kamui and Fuuma’s own fated bond and the tragedy at the core of said bond.

Wait... it was mutual between Toru and Saya, right?

4. Arashi and Sorata from x/1999

Cannot not mention arasora from x.

Yes, Arashi on top because we all know Sorata would totally be into Arashi tying him up and being used and abused by her. This is a canon fact and no one can change my mind.

They have an interesting thing going because of Sorata's fate and I can see why Arashi would have been annoyed about it in the beginning. Like... how do you decide to die for someone you just met? Talk about unrealistic tbh.

And yet... Sorata is so set on it!

The way I see them, I feel like with them the attraction was simply instantaneous. Something you can't deny sort of thing.

Sorata might have recognized it first, hence why he decided on her (I like to think that it isn't JUST because she's physically beautiful since CLAMP is all about soulmate bonds).

As for Arashi, since Arashi is the only one who can decide for herself that she wants to live, I think Sorata mirrored back to her her own will to live. Aside from how perceptive he is, I also think that this joy for life that is inherent of Sorata’s personality (we played this game before but I think he could be a Sagittarius) is how she learned to love him deeply.

Also, it's an irony that Sorata would be perfectly fine with accepting he would one day die for the woman he loves, while the woman he loves learned to have an "appetite" for life because of him.

UGH... CLAMP... ffs.

I was having a perfectly normal evening... ok let's go deeper into this hole of despair.

3. Fuuma and Kamui from x/1999

Listen but why are all these ships so damn tragic?

I definitively have problems.

I wish they’d just get a room already...

Anyways.

Really tragic, really heartbreaking feels come out of fcking nowhere because of these two.

Idk how to explain how it, literally, offends me when I get the fuukam feels because they always come out of nowhere.

Like... no warning, no nothing.

What I love about this pairing in particular is that there is so much love between them in a very platonic way. It is a delight to see them navigate their inner conflict in relation to their fate and that is what makes their fate all the more heartbreaking.

Of course, I love the twin star motif because they are boud by inevitability to collapse into one another (this is so not scientific).

Of course the sexy scenes are a total delight to behold too.

It’s just who they are. Literally, two horny teens carrying the weight of the fucking apocalypse on their shoulders as they try to bring the other to their senses.

In the end, with them, I like to think we have a beautiful combination of really twisted eros and agape love.

Most beautiful of all is that Kamui would overlook Fuuma’s terrible haircut and love him unconditionally. If that isn’t true love, then I don’t know what is.

But while fuukam has an element of childhood friends to lovers that I absolutely adore...

I still have to say my next fave is one of my absolute favorite example of (childhood) friends to lovers.

2. Syaoran and Sakura from Cardcaptor Sakura and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Why are they so cute tho?!

Watching them navigate their crush in Cardcaptor Sakura is actually one of the main reasons I am a massive CLAMP stan as, in a way, they were the gateway drug to my CLAMP addiction.

Even though I am not necessarily a CCS fan, I remember watching every CCS movie I could find just so I could watch them be cute together. When I found out about TRC I was excited to see CLAMP explore a slightly more mature and more tragic version of this OTP.

With syaosaku, the way I see them, it’s about the innocence of first love and the recognition that there’s someone who shines different from all of the other people around you. Or in CLAMP’s words, that most special person that’s totally not what they call it but I can’t think of the proper term right now.

With syaosaku, it’s about enduring puppy love. You know... when everything is simple “because you have feels” for each other. It’s undeveloped and innocent platonic love that can mature into something far more beautiful and enduring despite the many complications that may arise as they are bound to do.

I also love that even their respective clones are bound to fall in love with each other and that they choose each other time and time again and that’s part of what keeps them stuck in a time loop. Talk about being stupidly fated.

They’re adorbs. 12/10 recommend.

1. Kurogane and Fai from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

I FUCKING LOVE THEM!

Ok like listen.

Where do I even start?

Or maybe...

Ok. Yes. Here.

It’s all in what is not ducking said between these two.

With them, it’s always about something that happened off camera.

Kurogane looking shocked and sad instead of his usual “stoic warrior” or “tsundere” self also if I’m using tsundere incorrectly please don’t mind me apparently I can't get with the based program it’s just not sticking because Fai is giving him the faker than fake fakiest smile he’s ever given him to hide how pissed off and hurt he is about Kurogane not asking for consent.

But Kurogane is in so deep about how he feels about the blond magician twink blue-eyed pirate vampire and so... he’s not going to let him die even if it means he has to not ask for consent or... you know... cut off his arm.

And like...

Wow.

I’m totally digging Kurodaddy’s Capricorn energy. Very steadfast and driven, and very emotional.

I love Kurogane, he’s such a sexy daddy on all levels--his brains are my favorite of course.

And speaking of daddies and mommies...

Mommy is over there just doing his best to live, just to get through another day. He’s all smiles but Fai looks to me like he is trying really hard to be his usual genki self--the one that got stuck in that tower who knows how long ago.

The genki self that existed before all of the pain and sorrow that Nanase baked into his character she’s a total sadist and I love her all the more for it. In that sense, Fai is like Sei in that the line is blurred between their real personalities and who they pretend to be.

But in comes kurodaddy into his life and sees right through Fai’s bullshit because #sexybrain. I like to think he fell in love with the real Fai, of whom he got to see glimpses of.

Because it’s about the soul, right? Not the face Fai puts on for the world.

Anyways, so I love Fai’s character arc because it basically comes down to becoming who he was before the world broke his will to live. And Kurogane was a big part of Fai recovering that zest for life (he was drinking his blood ffs, how much more symbolical and metaphorical could CLAMP get with that?)

In the end, Fai couldn’t wait to be rescued to metaphorically leave the metaphorical tower behind, but rather, he had to rescue himself.

Seriously, CLAMP got super “Grim’s Brothers fairy tale” with Fai. Still need to write about it too.

All Kurogane could do was to watch from the sidelines, give him his Kurodaddy encouragement “shape-up-and-figure-out-where-you-stand” talks, and to cut off more limbs in the meantime.

So glad Fai figured out where he stands because trc could have ended with a limbless Kurogane because...

Which begs the very important question:

But, is it really true love if he didn’t put an eye on it? HM!

ANYWAYS, Kurogane persisted through all of this with Fai because he saw the real Fai.

I’ve 300% adored being able to see the friendship that is canonically depicted between them because you can tell they simply are good friends who care for each other’s well-being.

Ehem... that I think there’s more happening beneath the canonical surface is a different story.

In that way, kurofai feels so healing and so cathartic compared to seisub.

It’s such a breath of fresh air to see them heal one another for me. It’s like seeing these two souls who chose each other.

Honorary mention: Karen and Aoki

Ok. I felt like they would be such a boring choice tbh. I don’t feel for them the way I feel about that Toru and Saya panel so that’s why they get an honorary mention, but ultimately, don’t even make the list.

I just needed them to take up space between the other No1. in this list because...

So vanilla. We don’t do vanilla around here.

We do homoerotic courtship battles between fated lovers around here.

1. Seishiro and Subaru from Tokyo Babylon and x/1999

Caption: WHY CAN’T THEY JUST BE NORMAL FFS? (rhetorical question)

They are fatedest of fated. The kind of fated you do not want to be.

But fated, nonetheless.

Tanabata might sound romantic af but... it gets old if this is your reality and you’re just constantly pinning and longing melodramatically all the time.

YES I’M TALKING TO YOU SUBARU!!!!!!

They are basically two worst possible circumstances that oppose one another. Twin stars bound to one another by inevitability.

One who does not realize he feels emotions because he is desensitized from his emotional self, but is deeply emotional nontheless (about the weirdest shit too, god I love him).

And one who is deeply emotional, kind and empathetic to an unhealthy degree.

Its just them and their complete, absolute and incredibly irrational inability to meet in the middle.

WHY CAN’T THEY JUST BE NORMAL?! (rhetorical question)

It is truly heartbreaking that they only ever see “eye to eye” , true to their archetype of the fated lovers celebrated during tanabata, once in a lifetime. More on this in a bit...

And with them, you get this tiny glimpse of what could have been if the circumstances in their life had not been what they were.

DON’T YOU DARE GASLIGHT ME SEISHIRO, I AM ONTO YOU!!!

God I love him so much I want to strangle him.

All of this said, I have to say I admire how CLAMP created a depiction of the tanabata myth that presents the reason for the relationship as not actualizing itself because of circumstances that made the situation toxic on steroids.

And that’s what makes it all the more heartbreaking to me--they were truly each other’s “special someone” but were bound by fate to never become an actualized version of themselves that could ground the relationship down to human levels.

Their “love story" remained as one written in the stars--tanabata. It never became human and never will because, unlike kurofai, Seishiro and Subaru are stuck in a level of object relations that dictates how they see each other in relation to themselves.

THEY ARE SO STUPID, WHY CAN’T THEY JUST BE NORMAL?!

That’s why kurofai takes spot 1 along with them. I like the idea of healing in relationship with someone else instead of knowingly activating a curse that you knew would kill you just so that you could prove him wrong and settle the bet once and for all about how much you really don’t love him even tho you totally know that you do but are still trying to deny that reality right until your last breath.

DAMMIT SEISHIRO WHY ARE YOU SO WEIRD?!

I love him.

I’m obsessed.

Anyways. Subaru. Run!

I know I’ve complained about them the whole time but... I can’t deny the fact that seeing someone else at a soul level is an intense experience that I find very relatable.

Like I said, they did share something.

Maybe I’m projecting but I think they shared some really, really deep middle ground and that there was some sort of ease and understanding they had with each other at a soulful level.

They just couldn’t bridge that soul bond and ground it in their human selves for a hundred million stupid many reasons.

Which is how you end up with the most twisted “romantic” gesture in all of history this statement has been verified by all fact checkers.

FFS these two are so sick and so twisted and I love them all the more for it because they just cannot help themselves when it comes to the other--and that inevitable and unexplainable attraction at the soul level is what this ship is made of.

Unrealized human potential.

Stupid. so stupid. I love them your honor.

AH! and as if by 必然, this shows up in my feed this morning:

kurofai = I want you to heal because I dig you

seisub = what’s the best possible way I can sabotage this because I dig you?

THANKS for asking

You know me too well. I needed this.

#a to the q!

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