#do you know if the civilians had a choice or not to fight? and why they're fighting? and how long?

[xhanisai]

The lack of empathy and basic thinking that people have on the internet is so concerning honestly.

A lot of wars in the world are caused by horrible leaders, governments, and groups which in turn end up getting so many innocent people dragged into it who don't support them and don't want to do anything with it.

#delete later #i'll try my best not to mention about the ongoing wars again #but my god i am sick of seeing online people cheering at pictures and videos of Palestine getting their ass fucking kicked over and over #again and blaming all the innocents living there for what a resisting group is doing #and i have seen so many innocent russians ukrainians palestinians and israel people beg for NO WAR #it's the people who aren't part of the war that's fanning the flames and propaganda and flooding the internet with gory and disturbing imag #it's so easy to sit back at home and go on your phone and point at one whole ass country and deem them as the most evilest thing to ever ex #st #but have you done your research??? #do you know how the education system work in those countries??? #do you know if said countries were even allowed to elect or have a say on who leads them??? #do you know if the civilians had a choice or not to fight? and why they're fighting? and how long? #this world has always been so cruel to people who native to their own countries honestly why am I surprised

[nyxwoodstone]

Televangelism | Part 1

Part 1 | Part 2

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader

Summary: Simon offers Johnny a place to stay the night after a deployment, and Johnny gladly obliges. Much to his surprise, there's more to Simon Riley's home life than he previously thought.

TLDR: Soap doesn't know that Simon has a wife...he finds out when he goes to his Lt's house. :)

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: mentions of canon-typical violence, female reader, pregnant!reader, Simon and reader already have a toddler..., maybe a little OOC Ghost but allow it, no smut all plot, still MDNI I swear to God, idk like minor swearing but if you're from the COD fandom I feel like you should know that, let me know if I missed anything.

A/N: if you saw this previously posted to another account, no you didn't :) I don't really know what to call this type of fic, it is a Ghost x Reader, but it's got quite a bit of self-reflection and characterization from Soap. very little beta, but msg me if there's any horrendous spelling or grammar issues. i'm not American, hence the spelling differences. let's just ignore the fact that Ghost inviting Johnny to sleep at his house is more than a little too friendly for special forces guys, let's just ignore that plz!!!!!

Dictionary: SO - superior officer Civvies - civilian clothing NOD's - them night vision goggle thingo's Padre - colloquial name for Bristish Army Chaplains

-------------------------------------------------------

It was done.

Another successful operation. A difficult operation.

The entire squad had returned with just minor scrapes and cuts, and more shit to compartmentalise. Not that there was much compartmentalisation these days, the missions just rolled into each other. Sometimes there was a week break in between, sometimes a few months. Never enough time for Soap regain his footing in civilian life. Never enough time to get past the 'disruption' phase of reintegration that the chaplains were always talking about.

Every time he flew back to base, he'd get the same bleeding rundown from a different Padre. Every. Time.

"Now, there are five stages of reintegration after deployment, Sergeant."

"I know that."

"Humour me."

He'd fight back the urge to roll his eyes. Sometimes, he'd just do it. The chaplain would continue.

"Pre-entry, you've done that already, psych evals and such. You know the drill. Then, reunion, you'll see your family again-"

Shit. He needed to call his sister.

"-and take some time for yourself. Next is disruption, you'll realise not everything is the same as when you left it, people will have new routines, new hobbies, it's normal to feel resentful during this stage-"

And they'd go on. Tell him about communication, then normalcy. But he never got that far. He'd go home to his apartment, visit his mother, go to coffee with his sister (she worried about him, always did), and then he would be off on his next operation. He'd get a visit, or a call, and he'd be off, with little word to family. There was never enough time. Soap wondered why the task force needed the same spiel every time they returned, it wasn’t as if this was new. It was old. This runaround was old now: United Kingdom, to some forsaken country, to back home, with more memories and less connections. It was what he loved. But it was also what he despised. 

"Johnny."

Most of the squad had dispersed, each finishing psych evals and heading off to the on-base housing,  their cars, or the mess hall. He didn't actually know if the mess was open at this time of night, he supposed it was only the wee hours of the morning, but God-knew. Johnny had just finished his packing, and was heading towards the unremarkable block of small apartments on the far side of the base. It was a fair hike, but he'd do it. There wasn't another choice, but his flight wasn't until tomorrow, and he staunchly refused to stay awake all night. He'd sleep tonight, then go to debrief, then go the fuck home.

"Johnny."

It was Ghost, in civvies, hands in his jacket pockets. Mask gone. Johnny supposed that was just the way it ought to be, he couldn't wear it everywhere, and wearing it in civvies would certainly give any onlookers, soldiers or not, reason to be curious. Attention was not what men in their position needed. Still, seeing his face was…almost unsettling.

"Lt.?"

*************************************

Simon hung up the phone and tucked it in his back pocket. He felt God-awful calling at this time of night, but he had to do it. He'd sworn to, every time he got back to base, he had to call. Johnny was staring out at the quiet base, the parade grounds just a few hundred metres away, still lit up in the night.

"Johnny."

He'd never really thought about where Johnny must go after operations, he didn't even assume anything, once they were back on the ground, once they were out of the shit, it wasn't any of business, or any of his concern.

"You're allowed to like the men you work with, love." His wife's voice rang in the back of his mind.

He did…like them. They were good lads. Got the job done. Stitched each other up. Didn't leave each other behind. But liking them outside of work? Their job was far too dangerous to make close attachments like that. In his younger days, when he wasn't in the special forces, he'd made…’friends’ wasn't the right word for it. He'd made…acquaintances with some of the soldiers on his unit, they'd go out for drinks, egg each other on in the pub, take each other home after a long night out. But special forces were another world. Here, everything mattered. Every little thing mattered. And perhaps he was just older now, he'd matured more. Back then, he hadn't had anything to lose. Now, though-now he had everything to lose. A family, a home - a life.

But despite all of that, he had grown to appreciate Johnny. He was a good man, in the shit, and out of it.

They'd talked a few times about their lives outside of the army. Nothing important, nothing below surface level. Soap had a mother who had health problems, and a sister who worked in a hospital (he hadn't told Simon what she did, or even told him her name), and who worried about him constantly. Johnny joked that she would end up a patient one day if she kept stressing so much. Simon had told him that he lived far enough from the base that he wasn't constantly thinking about work, he'd told him that he played football as a kid; that was it. Not a lick more.

Johnny gave up far more information willingly than Simon ever could. But they got along. That was enough.

The Scot stood across from him, still staring out at nothing. 

"Johnny."

Soap turned his head.

"Lt.?"

"Going home?"

“Sleeping on base tonight, sir, then got a flight tomorrow night.”

On base? After that operation? Simon sighed inwardly and observed the bent hunch of his subordinate's shoulders. He knew that feeling. Finishing a mission alive, but with more red in his ledger. That was all good and well, but the final fucking straw was those damned prison cages that the military called bedrooms. It took a moment to debate, no longer.

"Mine’s 15 minutes from the airport.”

Soap’s eyebrows raised at the Lieutenant’s offer.

“It’s alright, sir, I’ll survive here.”

“After that shit? You need a real bed, Johnny.”

The sergeant ran a hand over his face and dropped his shoulders.

“Y-yeah, alright, Lt. If that’s alright with you.”

“Let’s go,” Ghost turned on his heel and began towards the car park, taking out his phone to shoot off a quick text.

'One of the boys needs somewhere to stay. He's a good man.'

****************************************************************************************

'One of the boys needs somewhere to stay. He's a good man.'

You groggily shot back a text.

'Get home safe, love you."

Simon had been due back for a few days now, but you'd been trying to get used to the unpredictability of his work schedule.

This was nothing new, though. You knew exactly what you were signing up for when you got married to him. He had sat you down when you had first gotten serious, and showed you his will.

That had been an aggressive wake-up call. You knew how dangerous his job was. No one on the planet Earth was foolish enough to think that special forces meant 'safety.' You knew he could die any time he went away. But the long-term reality of that fact didn't set in until you sat beside him and scanned your eyes over that document. You didn't feel connected to your body. It was as if you were peering in on some other person's life, quietly staring through the looking glass to see some insane woman who was desperately in love with a man whose life meant very little up against the interests of international security. To your credit, you hadn't cried when he showed you. How badly you had wanted to. But you didn't. You grit your teeth and clenched your fists. He could die at any moment. So you had better make the most of every second you had with him.

You'd told him as much and he had accused you of not taking his job seriously. A method of self-preservation you recognized from your years of being with him. You had told him he wasn't going to push you away so easily. He had left in a huff and came back the next day with an apology on his lips, and a ring in his hand.

There was no pomp about it, just simple, and practical. So very Simon Riley. 

Simon had never been a particularly romantic man, and God, was he difficult to read. But he loved you. He did. And you adored him. And you'd made it this far, a few years of marriage, one kid in, and one on the way; you'd done it. You would keep doing it until the day you dropped cold. So would he, he'd told you so hundreds of times. 

No, he was not romantic, but he showed you in other ways. He would rub your back when you were tired, he would open doors for you, or kiss you gently when you needed it. Simon Riley was a man of few words, but frequent action. You loved him for it.

The first time you'd met him, you'd nearly gone weak in the knees. Cliché. He teased you for it endlessly, you never should have admitted that to him. But how were you to help yourself, he was a handsome, well-muscled man with a scowl that you found endearing. You still found that deep scowl endearing today, and on more than one occasion, you had gently pinched his cheek when he pulled that face. He would always chuckle and bat your hand away, biting the inside of his mouth so there was no looser skin for you to pinch again.

Simon Riley was, in your (biassed) opinion, the most handsome, most incredible, most loving man to ever live. And he was yours. Whenever he came shopping with you, or took you out somewhere, it was impossible to escape the stares that other women gave him. Part of you despised it, part of you basked in it. You'd lean in to whisper something in his ear, or pat him gently on the chest, anything to mark him as yours. See this man, he's mine. He'd swear other men did the same to you, but you didn't believe him. He certainly believed himself though, placing a hand on the small of your back or tucking a piece of hair behind your ear whenever he thought he saw eyes on you. It was sweet.

You two had this little…thing. This cocoon for just you two. The comfort and safety that flowed between the both of you had been years in the making, and had taken many, many arguments and discussions to solidify. And you had argued, sometimes into the night hours, going back and forth about trust, and patience, and understanding. You had often had to fight for his agreement, or for his trust, but you had never had to fight for his love. That had come without question, but you'd had to fight for him to show it to you, for him to allow himself one good thing in life. He was different now, all those years of being with you, and working on himself, and all the absolute hell that he had been through. He was different, and you loved the man he was, and the man he had become. No one at his job knew how gentle he could be, the softness he was capable of. No one.

Although, you supposed that was about to change. He was bringing 'one of the guys' to your house, to stay. You had told him before that you had absolutely no problem with him bringing his friends - he wasn't a fan of you calling them that - over. If they needed somewhere to stay, you were more than willing to house them, they were strong men facing down the worst of the world's threats, they deserved somewhere to feel safe, if only for one night. He'd told you he might - although you'd always suspected that he wouldn’t - allow one of his squad mates into his home, and you'd encouraged him to do so if it was necessary. Tonight was the night.

Simon had called you as soon as he could, like he always did.

"I've landed, love, I'll be heading home soon."

"Good. How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"Hungry?"

"Just ate here."

"Alright, I'll be in bed, please wake me up."

"Will do. I love you."

"I love you too. Drive safe."

He sounded exhausted on the phone, nothing out of the ordinary though, he was always tired when he came home. You were remiss to admit to yourself that you were tired too. You ran a hand over your stomach. It had swelled up in the time that Simon had been gone. What a difference just a few weeks made. You'd had to attend your scheduled scan alone, and had the photos in the drawer next to your bed, ready to show Simon when he got home.

This baby had been something of a surprise. Not an enormous one, though. Simon and yourself had been significantly less careful in the months leading up to when you found out, and you'd talked about it: another kid, the whole thing. He had been apprehensive to say the least, so you had waited without resentment. He needed time, and God knew, you needed time, so you had both taken time. It had taken a year or so of discussions, he was terrified to become his father. He would never be his father, never. He was nothing like him, nothing. And he had come to his own decision. Being a father would be new, terrifying, different, but he put an ounce of faith in himself, and-

- And then you were late.

You wished you could be like those women in movies who have no idea, and have a whole revelation about being pregnant. But you were not stupid, you were practical, it was one of the things Simon often told you that he loved about you. So practicality it was. You were sure you were pregnant. Three positive pregnancy tests later, and that sealed the deal.

Then you'd burst into tears in your bathroom.

God, who were you to think you could do this? He was due to leave for a three-week operation in two days. You'd be alone in your first few weeks, with a young toddler as well, who's needs were more important than your own.

You didn't hear Simon come home from his run, you'd hardly heard the jagged tone to his voice when he pushed the door open. What a sight it must have been for him. You, curled into the bathroom wall, crying hysterically and hugging yourself. He did well to hide his panic, the soldier in him must have taken over for a few seconds. He scanned the bathroom floor, then checked you over for injuries, asking what was wrong the whole time. Then he'd scanned the bathroom counter and found the three tests lined up. He knew what they were, but bless him, he didn't know if they were negative or positive, the lines meant nothing to him.

"You're pregnant?"

You'd barely managed a nod and to his absolute credit, he did not clam up. He did not shut his mouth, or grit his teeth, or sink back onto his heels. He had reassured you, pulled you into his lap on the floor and talked you out of your hysterics. He'd waited patiently until you could talk. And you had been fine. You loved him, he loved you, and you both loved this baby. You would be fine. It had never been so hard to say goodbye to him as he left for his next mission. You'd never been so panicked whilst he had been away. You had to call your friend to come and stay with you for the time he was away, so she could help you stay out of your thoughts and help with the little toddler who was always asking where her Daddy was.

But all of that panic always subsided when he came home, when he lay beside you and breathed quietly as he slept. Everything was better when he was there. And he would be in an hour or two, so you allowed yourself to get some rest until you heard his tires in the drive.

************************************************************************************************************** 

Every few seconds, the car was forced into the dull yellow shine of the street lights. Soap wanted to ask how much longer they would be travelling, but for lack of better words than ‘are we there yet,’ he remained silent, watching identical rows of darkened townhouses amble by. It had been a long drive though, long enough that Johnny had glanced at the clock on the car's electronic display once or twice, just to make sure he wasn't losing his mind.

Suburbia was not quite what Soap had imagined when he thought of his lieutenant's home, although he couldn’t pinpoint exactly where he thought Ghost might live. Far from base was all the information he had to guess from. Everyone has to stay somewhere, right? Guiltily, John realised he hadn’t much considered that Simon did in fact, live a civilian life. For weeks or months at a time. The task force wasn’t on duty 24/7, but Ghost, as a normal person? Someone you might see crossing the street? Carrying groceries? It hasn’t crossed his mind.

Strange.

Strange to think of such a deadly man in such a domestic sphere.

They were the same though, he supposed. Just as deadly as each other. Just as domestic, too.

The low rumble of a flight path ahead served to calm Soap, so used to noise as he winded down. Silence was deafening, silence was dangerous. Deep down, although he struggled to admit it, the long string of silence that met him in his own home terrified him. The emptiness, the void that greeted him when he first entered his flat, before the click of his fingers on the light switch, before he turned on the industrial fan beside his couch and before the kettle started to whistle. The silence would grip him around the neck, trying to pull him into his thoughts.

Close-knit housing soon dropped off into plots of land, with sparser houses and longer driveways. The expected pricing of these blocks didn’t escape the sergeant.

Another hour or so later, when the modern street lights had long since faded out into antiquated street lamps every hundred metres, the car began to slow.

“We’re here.” Ghost ripped the quiet in two with the gruff edge of his voice, turning off onto a lined driveway. In the dim light, the house stood modestly. Perfectly normal. Far enough away from other houses to be private, but close enough to be watchful of the neighbours. How fitting.

The ignition rumbled to a stop as Ghost turned the key and exited the car.

Boots hitting the stone, Soap immediately felt at odds with this house. It wasn’t his. It was Ghost’s, a man he knew very little about. It wasn't enemy territory, perhaps this was worse: friendly territory. Too friendly territory. A peaceful space, one that he shouldn't be encroaching on.

He followed said man to the door, crunching quietly up the drive and swinging his bag over his shoulder, a more comfortable hold for his exhausted muscles.

Ghost grunted quietly as he unlocked and pushed the door open, swearing and muttering something about getting it fixed.

“Boots off.” He spoke rather quietly and Soap responded immediately, shrugging out of his boots and sitting them next to a few others at the door. His first sign that something was…amiss, was that there were a few pairs of shoes far too small for Simon, stacked neatly on a wooden shelf next to the door.

He was greeted with a long hallway as he followed Simon through the quiet house. His second sign that something was amiss, was that this house smelled, to put it kindly, feminine. It did not smell like an empty house, nor one that was inhabited by a lone man. Unless of course, Simon Riley had a penchant for vanilla-scented candles. Soap suspected he did not.

A few photographs and decorations adorned the walls but they were impossible to make out in the dark. Soap’s fingers twitched towards his head a split second before he was pulled back to reality and realised that there were no NOD's to help him out here. A stupid instinctual move that he found himself doing more and more these days.

Compartmentalisation, his ass.

Ghost pushed a door to his right open, it creaked quietly in the silent house.

“Spare room’s in here, bathrooms to the left-“

“Thanks, Lt.”

“Take a shower, but keep it down, the missus’ll be asleep.”

And as if he hadn’t just flash-banged Soap, Ghost left, turning on his heel and heading further into the house. 

Next Part

#ghost x reader #call of duty #cod x reader #Simon Riley #Simon Ghost Riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x f!reader #idk how tags work

[ew-selfish-art]

Demon Twin AU 

Tim Drake comes across a LOA manuscript detailing the sacrifice of a Demon Heir that’s dated around the time Damian is born and brings it to the cave. There’s no other mention of what went down, but it looks like Damian was a twin and the twin was thrown into the Lazaras Pits- Tim kind of forgets about it but shows it to Damian cause he figures that the guy deserves to know, and leaves it out for Bruce to see (basically the same thing as telling him). It doesn’t really change much but there is an obscured name in the corner so they can presume that the kid’s name would have been something starting with D A N. 

Well here’s the thing: Names carry power. Damian reaches out to John Constantine to ensure that the child is actually dead, because presumably John can do that. John wants to give the kid some closure, so he does what is supposed to be a super chill seance to an infant. He pricks Robin’s finger, chants a little and the air... turns violent.

Uh oh. Dan appears, unshackled from his prison in the Infinite Realms now that John has called upon them by someone with Familial blood. He cackles madly about the fact that it’ll be a good time to bring about the apocalypse again, promising to spare the bird for now, since he would have to get answers later. 

The alarms are blaring, the whole JL is hands on deck to try and stop Dan as he attacks across the globe. They’re saving as many civilian lives as possible but its getting very HAIRY in less than 2 hrs. Robin is out in the chaos, trying to track him down with John and Zatanna trying to recapture him and banish him back to the realms. 

Phantom touches down just as the three of them reach Dan- Danny has some choice words for his older alternate timeline self, including “This is why you have no friends.” and “Seriously, you didn’t even stop to say hi to my timeline’s Jazz this time.” and “Soup time for 1,000 years and then we can talk remediation.” 

After a short but brutal fight, Danny floats over to Damian, John and Z. After making sure they’re all right he’s like “Maybe you can never do that again? Also tell me how and why you did that so I can banish that spell?” And Damian explains that it was meant to ensure that the infant twin he never knew had passed peacefully and clearly that was not the case. Danny blinks a few times, uh, a twin?

Damian goes through the shit, John explains that it was a familial summoning meant to be an advanced seance (hence the lack of safe guards to keep the entity in) and Z confirms that there was nothing special to it beyond that. 

Danny then explains, that uh, “I guess my parents weren’t kidding when they told me I was adopted. Hi? I’m your brother. Uh, I go by Danny though. Dan was me in a different timeline and he’s normally under super strict lockdown.” 

#demon twin au #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #danny phantom #damian wayne #Sometimes an apocalypse is the best way to bring a family together #fuck dan tho #I cannot stand his redemption arcs lmao #Damian is like god damn i really could have been way more evil if thats my twin #Danny is super excited that his bio family are all heroes #Danny throws shade at constantine of course #Damian and Danny naturally bond from that point onwards because like hey #neither of us are as evil or bad as we could be #how dope is that? #danny and damian are twins

[soon-palestine]

Israel, the world’s most innocent country, fell victim to a horrific attack from Iran with zero reported casualties on the same day Israel killed dozens of civilians in Gaza.

Israel had been minding its own business, quietly bombing hospitals, schools, universities, mosques, and an embassy, when the Iranian regime launched their outrageous attack for no apparent reason. Thankfully, the US and UK scrambled jets to defend Israeli airspace because it’s wrong to bomb countries in the Middle East, unless your name is Israel, in which case you can do all the bombing you want.

Every British and American ship in the region is now in grave danger and the risk of terror attacks on our soil has surely increased, but you will be relieved to know our countries have not benefitted in any way from our intervention. Personally, I can’t think of a better way for Israel to spend our tax money.

Our leaders have condemned Iran in the strongest possible terms, which is confusing because I thought we were supposed to remain ambiguous and say we’re investigating the matter when such an attack occurs. Perhaps this is one of those rules that only applies to Israel though.

When informed of the attack, a calm and rational Suella Braverman screamed: “WAR! I WANT WAR!” and when she’d stopped hyperventilating, she added: “This must be the end of western backsliding on Israel,” because she thinks we have not been sufficiently supportive of their genocide. Anyone who is not on the same side of the argument as Suella Braverman must ask serious questions about themselves.

Iran’s unprovoked attack involved giving Israel adequate warning and launching 30-year-old missiles, 99% of which were intercepted, and then saying the matter is closed unless Israel escalates further. The fact Iran would consider retaliating to further escalation from Israel shows just extreme these lunatics are.

Among Iran’s targets was the Israeli air base from which the missiles that struck its embassy were launched, killing 13 on April 1. As of yet, we have no indication as to why Iran carried out the attack, but we’re going to tell you it’s because they want to start World War III. Psychos.

Conspiracy theorists have suggested it’s actually Benjamin Netanyahu who wants escalation, but it’s unclear why the man who faces political oblivion, and possibly jail, would be incentivised to draw his allies into the fight and cause everyone to forget his many war crimes.

Israel, the country that definitely does not want war, has vowed an “unprecedented” response against Iran which will probably kill many more than zero people. If Iran expresses disapproval at Israel’s next mass murder, it’s because they’re trying to destabilise the region. At this point, we’ll have no choice but to help Israel do to Iran what we’ve spent six months helping them do to Gaza - launch precision strikes that destroy 70% of the buildings in the country and leave survivors living in tents.

Worryingly, we’ve just discovered at the most convenient moment that Iran has enough uranium to build 12 nuclear bombs. If it were true that Iran had so much weapon-grade uranium, it would be incredibly stupid to attack them, but we’re going to insist we must attack them because we’re weapon-grade idiots - and we think you are too.

Please just switch your brain off and accept what you’re being told, you simpletons! What matters is rich people can afford nuclear bunkers if this all goes horribly wrong. In the meantime, you can look forward to lots of exciting stories in the media about bringing back conscription and describing how you are likely to die in humanity's final war. Are you looking forward to radiation sickness and nuclear winter? Because they sound like brilliant fun! x

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this outstanding piece of journalism as much as I did, you can support my work here:

#palestine #gaza #free palestine #journalism

[determinate-negation]

Why would you call my dad a terrorist instead of, I dunno, bothering to think about what I was actually saying for a moment?

I hope you know, I can see that you removed my reblog. That is an intentional attempt to hide history.

There aren't any terrorists in Gaza anymore, but as long as Israel can use that as an excuse, they will. That was the point I was making.

I do not agree with Israel. My dad does not, either. He left the military in part because of his disability, but also because he hated how the US military treated people in Palestine. He still does.

Anyway. If it makes you feel better to call people terrorists instead of trying to educate them responsibly and respectfully, go ahead.

My point still stands.

Free Palestine.

your dad is a war criminal. it makes me feel fine to call foot soldiers of us imperialism war criminals. youre talking out of your ass about shit you dont understand, you missed the essential point of my post in the first place which is about the dynamics of asymmetrical guerrilla warfare, you know, the type of warfare us soldiers were forced to deal with in vietnam and the middle east and resorted to wholesale massacre of civilians because they cant comprehend that the so called terrorists disguising themselves as normal people are actually normal fucking people whos lives have been disrupted by imperialism and war, and who took up arms because they had no choice if they didnt want to die. i didnt remove your reblog, i dont think youre that important, and this isnt a historical record. what you said only reveals you as someone who accepts what bullshit propaganda other people tell you about the rest of the world. you also have no idea whats going on with the palestinian resistance. multiple factions of the resistance are continuing to fight the idf, the so called “terrorists” you say are no longer in gaza. your point sucks

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Also, I would like to add that Malleus’s blatant disregard for the autonomy of others and fits of rage is DELIBERATE on his end. Being one of the top five mages in the entire world, I am sure that he KNOWS there is a large disparity between his power/social and the rest of the peers/subordinates etc. His sheer and utter confidence in his abilities to get what he wants and general disregard for others isn’t only an indicator of his awareness about this disparity, but is also a reflection of the abuses of his power AND social status as a whole.

In light of his age, imagine the amount of times he has repeated these mistakes despite others advice and criticisms against his choices. Only Ace has been able to overcome others general reverence and fear towards Malleus when it came to calling him out. He is not an innocent person who is ignorant about the ways of humanity verses faes, and is certainly not the innocent character the fandom (especially those who are infatuated by him) think he is.

[Referencing this post!]

***Standard disclaimer: In sharing my thoughts, I do not mean to disparage Malleus fans. Furthermore, me disliking him should not detract from your own enjoyment of the character. If you do not feel comfortable reading about this topic (ie critique of Malleus’s character), then I encourage you to scroll on and to not engage with this post.***

My thoughts below the cut!

I do feel that, to some degree, the disregard for others and inappropriate fits of rage come from blatant ignorance (since Malleus did have a very isolated and sheltered upbringing). However, it's also hard for me to believe that in his 178 years of living that he was NOT told countless times by those around him (mostly Lilia and his grandmother, Maleficia) to wield his power and social status more tactfully than how he has. Did he take none of those lessons to heart??? What about the 2-3 years he spent living among the non-fae at NRC? Nothing from then too?? Regarding self-awareness of his strength and social status, Malleus has made it clear on more than one occasion that he stands above others. Right from his first appearance in the main story (in book 2), it's implied he's well aware of his position--so much so that he deliberately hides his identity from Yuu. He also cannot propose to Eliza in Ghost Marriage because he is the crown prince of a nation. Time and time again, Malleus's status is mentioned and it plays into his importance as the sole heir to Briar Valley. He must also know he is powerful, given that he is one of the top 5 strongest mages in the world and can perform incredible feats (like reassembling a stage and walking through Vil's poisonous miasma in book 5) like they're nothing. His grandmother and Lilia tell him the Draconias are powerful and shouldn’t use their magic to harm, but to help those they rule over. Yet he seems to have surprisingly few qualms when turning these powers against people who are only at a fraction of his power (Rook, his dorm mates, everyone in the Scalding Sands trip group, Ortho, etc.) or have no magic at all (remember when he attacked those civilians in Terror is Trending and the other Diasomnia students had to restrain him?). Malleus may be emotional in these moments, but the fact remains that he's making the deliberate, intentional choice to wield his magic in this way. He has the ability to hold himself back (as we see him refrain from fighting Rook in Malleus's PE Uniform vignette, only because he knows Rook is baiting him), but the vast majority of the time he fails to do this. For someone who is acutely aware of his power, you'd think he would... I don't know, keep a better leash on it? And what about his identity? So Malleus is concerned about Sebek insulting Leona (the prince of another country) but he ISN'T concerned about how his own fits of anger poorly reflect on himself, who is the CROWN PRINCE of a country??? Please make that make sense... Why is Malleus so selective 💀

I'm actually quite shocked at how little Malleus's pride and arrogance is pointed out; it's usually Leona who gets those labels even though Malleus is also just as arrogant, prideful, and confident in his own powers. Most of the time, I feel like I see Malleus being called "innocent". Maybe his negative traits on display get overlooked because TWST tries so hard to present Malleus to us as someone we are supposed to like (especially with how often they use his overpoweredness or loneliness is used as a punchline for jokes). Our interactions with Malleus are also so few and so short, particularly early in the main story, that fan project their own ideas about what he's like onto him and that forms a certain “image” of him that may not be the same as how he actually is. Him being lonely makes it easy for fans to perceive him as desperate for company and even easier for fans insert themselves as his “special” friend or S/O to fill the void.

It's... quite ironic, really? Malleus says in Riddle's Suitor Suit vignettes that he is familiar with the concept of "noblesse oblige", which is the implied duty of the privileged and nobility to act gracefully towards those less privileged. Yet... he is sometimes overstepping "fae playfulness" or "teenage childishness/immaturity" and continuously creating situations which put people around him in danger (all of Endless Halloween Night, not holding back his attacks against the Magicam Monsters, all the times he let his temper get out of control, book 7 OB, etc.) When defending the extremes he took in book 7 by citing his status and his UM, Malleus has this to say, which is very telling of his lucidity: "Monitoring? Meddling? Heh, how silly. It's a king's duty to govern, is it not? I'm watching over you. To ensure no nightmares befall you in the fairy tales you now reside in... To ensure you have happy dreams that last forever!" It's implied that Malleus's grandma has told him since childhood that their line has powerful magic to protect their people's smiles--and here he is, overextending those words to people that aren't even his subjects, and twisting the meaning to justify his own brutal rule.

What I noticed is... Malleus is often so oriented on seeing the situation from his POV that he fails to consider those from any entity aside from himself. In Endless Halloween Night, he feels sorry for the ghosts who showed up late and were left out of the festivities because he can relate to them, so therefore he wants to make sure they are included. In book 7, Malleus fears his loved ones leaving and projects this fear onto everyone else so he feels right in being the one coming in to be their "hero" and grant them happy endings they never asked for. In his own Dorm Uniform vignettes, Malleus frames the circumstances as, "I wouldn't be mad if you did the same thing to me" instead of listening to his peers' complaints. He centers problems around himself (which admittedly is very frustrating to me), and this is how Malleus tries to understand and navigate the world. This gives me the impression that he has a very particular way of thinking and it's perhaps difficult for him to understand others, even with extensive pointers.

I truly believe Malleus is ignorant about humans and fae. That much matches up with what we know of his history. What I do NOT get is why he continues to remain ignorant when 1) he has spent a few years exposed to non-fae and their ways; even if this pales in comparison to the 175ish other years of his life, he should have some new basis for appropriate social interactions with other races, and 2) most of the major adult figures in his life are exposing to him he should consider others' perspectives and try to learn more about that which he is unfamiliar with. Malleus has so many opportunities to expand his horizons and get to know new people, but he seems to sit around and keep waiting for others take the initiative for him. But he could initiate too, so why doesn't he???? (He has shown he is capable of it, as he approaches Deuce to fix his virtual pet and chatting with Idia about the same pet in the main story; if not by himself, then Lilia can easily assist or invite him into activities such as the Silk City trip.) Even if Malleus fails to socialize in a way that's considered appropriate, at least that's something he can learn from and correct for next time... But why doesn’t he????????? If he did, it would sure help out with his inability to empathize with his peers and could even curb his temper (which would be seen as socially inappropriate). So why exactly does he seem to know so little and make so little effort to try and rectify this???? Why does he keep postulating that his word is above everyone else’s and then get upset when people don’t like him for this very alienating attitude? Aaaaah, it's a sad cycle to witness him devolve into again and again... 😭

P. S. Bless Ace for being the one character who still held it against Malleus for the fucked up “prank” he pulled in Endless Halloween Night (and then convincing everyone the misunderstanding was their faults for “attacking the ghosts first”).

#twisted wonderland #twst #Malleus Draconia #Ace Trappola #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #notes from the writing raven #Lilia Vanrouge #Maleficia Draconia #Yuu #book 2 spoilers #book 5 spoilers #terror is trending spoilers #malleus pe uniform vignette spoilers #Sebek Zigvolt #Diasomnia #Silver #endless halloween night spoilers #book 7 spoilers #malleus labwear vignette spoilers

[fanficwriterlover]

My Choice Our Consequence

Chapter 1: The Consequence...

Summary: You're a sniper/medic, part of the team 141. Everyone considers you their light, however, your light has diminished and has started taking a toll on the rest of the team because of a choice you made...now you have to face the consequences of your actions and live with that reminder forever..

Expectations: Slow burn, Breakup, Depression, Panic Attacks, Yelling, Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of SA, Romance, Slow Romance, Fighting, Violence, Blood, Killing, Shooting,Stabbing, Smut, Fluff, Flirting, Teasing, etc...

Call Sign: Hera or Lil Light

Word Count: 7.4k

A03 Version

Did you predict this would happen to you ? No...not to your full extent of your brain capacity. Were you regretting that night because you were emotional that night and took a huge risk ? Absolutely ! You wanted to kick yourself so hard for how stupid you were for not being rational, and God for bid even allowing him to keep it in. Yet, there you were, trembling in your bathroom holding a mere plastic with such simple symbols that held so much weight...

"Fuck..." you mumble to yourself. To be honest, you were horrified by this revelation, because you had broken up with your ex over a month ago, and neither of you had sex in well ages... yet during your time of solitude, you took the liberty to drown your pain with another man. Now in some cases this shouldn't be a big deal right ? I mean...just tell the man you laid with, that apparently your birth control didn't really prevent the bastards bloody seeds from entering your womb and creating a growing child. Oh yeah, with that, your ex decided to walk back into your life wanting a second chance, and he's been awfully persistent in stalking and threatening via text messages and more. Oh and to top it off...the possible father to be, had been avoiding you like the plague. So yes...everything is just lovely. You groan out in a choked sob yet you grumbled with anger. Of all people and of all times...why you ?

Over a month ago~

You had to get yourself together though, because unfortunately you weren't some mere woman who just happened to be knocked up...oh to make it worse you just so happened to be a Sargent who is part of the task force 141 as their designated sniper/medic and to make it WORSE. You were supposed to be leaving for a mission in the next hour. You dropped the plastic into your sink as you slouched down onto the cold tile flooring pressing your back to the wall and cradling your head "Oh fuck...what am I going to do" you nearly sobbed trying to hold back your tears from gushing down your cheeks.

God forbid they notice the tear stains on your cheek, or puffy eyes that are blood shot and red nose, your team will definitely be on your arse about what's got you so moody. Honestly when you noticed your mood being more...well gruff you simply thought it was due to stress. Especially what happened a month ago....all you wanted was to be left alone to eat your breakfast especially with how horrible your morning has started, the one solitude moment of peace and enjoyment. Mind you, you loved the company of Soap and Gaz (your teammates) but for some reason, their obnoxious banter and rowdiness was only making you irritable. Honestly you thought it was from lack of sleep considering a week prior your ex has been unrelenting on getting a hold of you, asking for forgiveness and wanting to try again.

He was a civilian, you knew him since highschool before you enlisted. However, this job demanded a lot and your time became few and few. Which caused a tear in your relationship, even though your ex knew of the reality of your job you always did your best to reach out to him and spend any waking hour to contact him. Sure, there was signs of distancing but you didn't know better....then after one mission, you came back early, and as eager as you were to surprise your once boyfriend, you found him on your couch with another woman. It was an earth shattering moment. In that moment of weakness you did something stupid...

I don't know how long I was standing outside in the rain...shaking and crying. An hour ? Two ? Three ? Did it honestly matter ? The image of your boyfriend in between the legs of a woman you've never seen on your couch shattered you into pieces. You were standing before the gates at your base, debating on whether to return to your bunk, but everyone knew you would be going home to your flat to be with your boyfriend. Yet the idea of confrontation by your team wasn't something you wanted to deal with at the moment. Let alone for them to see you in such a state. So you decided to do your best to sneak past everyone. Slowly dragging your feet, you made your way into the building where all the bunkers were, you could hear members laughing loudly and celebrating as you passed the lounge area. You tried to remain unnoticed and silent, sneaking by, which in the moment you thought you were successful. Drawing near as you kept walking down the halls to your door, however, what you didn't realize was a looming shadow who was watching your every move. Just as you were about to open your door-

"Why are you drenched ?" A deep Manchester voice spoke, that all so familiar voice sent a rush up your spin and it wasn't even from the cold of your soaked clothes. His voice always made you tremble and flustered. Hesitantly you made eye contact with the owner of the voice, seeing the balaclava of the skull man standing dauntingly 6'4" with his blonde lashes partially slitting his almond eyes that took in your features. Even with his eyes on you, you wanted to shrink. Mind you, Ghost and you had no qualms with one another but you always found him intimidating yet together you worked well as a team. "I- went for a walk and ended up getting rained on" you fumbled up a lie avoiding eye contact squeezing your hand on the door knob silently praying he wouldn't notice.

"That so?" He says lowly. It makes you gaze back up at him once more not fully looking in his direction as he had his arms crossed still looking down at you, you heavily gulped "Y-Yeah ?" You could see a partial shift over his eyes, it meant he raised a brow at you before approaching you more as he stood directly behind you now, his chest nearly pressing up behind you, this made you hesitantly turn to face your Lieutenant who was looking down at you more seriously. His head tilting down at your short figure his arms coming down to his sides. You had to put a hand up onto his chest to stop him from drawing any closer as your heart began to race and you immediately averted your gaze from his towering figure.

You didn't even realize he had you pinned into your door with his hand over you gripping the ledge of the doorframe as you could feel the rise in your cheeks. "You 're lying. What did he do ?'" his eyes scanned over your features. Obviously the rain did very little to hide your tear stained cheeks and the redness in your eyes. Yet you still refused to meet his gaze. For what felt like an internity his gloved hands reached up and lifted your chin slowly. The sensation of his rough leather skeleton gloves made your eyes widen as he tipped your chin up to meet his looming gaze. How could you look away now. Your eyes latched on to his menacing gaze. You can see his eyes slightly flickered with some kind of emotion...now you wouldn't consider yourself an expert on reading his expressions but you'd like to think you could a little....yet it was impossible that Ghost...the Lieutenant Ghost was sympathetic for you ?

Don't even think you realized what was happening or that he had slightly lifted his balaclava up just over the bridge of his perfectly shaped nose, that showed the hint of a scar that peeked under his mask across his strong high bone cheeks and perfect lips that has a scar slicing the right corner. You didn't even realize then, he leaned near your ear and whispered "Y/n...snap out of it" ....wait no thats not what he said.

"Oi ! Earth to y/n ! You get any shut eye ? I miss your sexy voice Bonnie" Soap snickered as you were brought back into the moment having been in position, as it seemed your mind was seamlessly going to recall that moment between you and the Lieutenant yet, your body already knew what it was doing. You had your sniper rifle in front of you with the scope brushing at your long eyelashes. You were stationed not that many klicks from where the boys were moving into action. You could see Soap stealthily moving around another building trying to move closer to the targets building without alerting the guards until they've breached their walls. Of course, the living myth and legend was leading them closer to the building, he camouflaged impressively well into the shadows for such a big guy.

Again your mind was drifting and the static in your comms rang through your ear as your Lieutenant spoke "Hera. Take the two on the west building." This snapped you to attention as you shifted your scope as he had directed, your finger moving to the trigger as you took a deep breath to stop your queasy stomach. Pulling the trigger you took down one man, who crumbled down quickly the other becoming aware of his partner down but before he could so much as spread the word you had pulled the trigger already and he was down as well. You radio into your comms "Clear. Proceed with caution Bravo 0-7, there's 4 at the back entry." You locked your rifle as you moved your eyes from the scope "Copy that Hera." He says through the comms. You had to shift positions now, lingering in one spot was dangerous, as you slid back from your spot out of sight hitting your comms "Alpha 2-8 moving positions" you swiftly made your way to another spot that gave you a different angle to where the boys were going to be entering as you got into your knees setting down your rifle.

Yet something felt very wrong. You were frozen to the spot, listening intently, your nose, due to your pregnancy, it was heightened and you could smell someone's sweat from where you were. Over the comms you could hear that Soap and Ghost had already breached the walls making their way to find the enemy hiding within the walls. Behind you, there was nothing but high grass, and you were wearing beige clothing to blend to the tall dying grass.

You pull out your knife and pistol, clicking off the safety and check it's loaded. Even now the scent was more potent, you wanted to throw up, the unwanted man was wearing heavy cologne of sorts and for anyone in the SAS that's a stupid move. Even now you could hear the ringing in the comms as Ghost and Soap updated on their movement and such.

Yet even when you heard them ask "Soap, to Alpha 2-8, what's ya status lass ? " you could hear the slight panic in Soap's voice yet right now you were remaining still observing your surroundings. Even now you can hear how frantic Soap was becoming and the deep booming voice of your Lieutenant sounded through your earpiece "Hera. What's your status." He sounded gruff and annoyed probably not to you but you did catch between the two over the comms that the enemy was not in the building and that it was a setup.

That much you already knew. You reached for the comms pressing the button and speaking softly "This is Alpha 2-8....my post has been compromised" and yet that is when you saw your stalker lunge out from the tall grass, immediately you pulled the trigger, but not before he tumbled into you having a knife in hand slicing your shoulder deeply, you yelped upon impact, tumbling to the ground, hitting the back of your head, but not hesitating to wrap your legs around the man who was trying to stab you hovering over you with him trying to push it down to your throat. You grunted trying to hold his grip as he straddled you down, you can hear Soap frantically calling through the comms "Oi! Hera ! Answer us Bonnie !" You couldn't as you grunted pushing with legs to knee him in the groin which caused him to roll off you. Quickly you reached for your dagger and rolled to where he was stabbing down hitting him then the chest, as you didn't hesitate to grab your pistol that was tossed to the side and shoot him in the head.

Panting hard you held your stomach immediately feeling sick, the blood all over your hands and face, the scent...oh God that potent iron scent. You had to move away to empty your stomach all the whole Ghost and Soap were making their way back to your last known location hearing you hurl your stomach. Ghosts loud booming voice could be heard from a distance while he hit the comms "Hera !" You began to cough more as you tried to take deep breaths. Reaching painful to the comms with your wounded shoulder "I'm good. Just had a tussle."

You were shaking looking away from the dead man, not aware that Ghost and Soap reached you. They took in the scene then you. Soap quickly approaching you seeing you look sick and bleeding "Jesus Bonnie... thought we lost you, you sure ki-" he paused mid saying "Aye...you good ?" You were going to respond but it felt like your stomach was acidic. You didn't even know. But your vision began to blur and you fainted. You could only feel strong arms quickly catch you before the fall but it was numb everywhere throughout your body. You could see the skull mask hovering and the slight glimpse of the Mohawk figure looking over you trying to get your attention. But your eyes closed.

White, a color you probably absolutely hated seeing that blinded you in every corner. Sitting in the chair your legs dangling as you fiddled with your fingers. You had recovered after you've fainted when they loaded you on the chopper, you assured the team you were just dehydrated. But of course, Lieutenant gave you that knowing glare that made you relent. You knew what the doctor was going to say, he drew your blood, tended your wounds, and checked for bruising which was on your hips, wrists, and chest.

Even now your anxiety was high as you nearly jumped out of the chair at the sight of a familiar doctor who you'd often work with around the med base. Dr.Connar. Good looking man, he was slender tallish(no where close to military big like Ghost) tustled brownish black hair, deep brown eyes and genuine smile. He was holding your chart and you knew what to expect. "We have got to stop meeting like this y/n." He snickered seeing you as he pulled up a chair in front of you as you gazed up at him waiting for the inevitable. "So...your wound isn't infected. Just some mild bruising will be gone in a couple days. You hit your head I see. Slight bleeding nothing serious though...." this was when he gazes up at you seriously over the chart we he was reading resting it on the table to the side, he leaned forward his elbows resting on his knees as he looked at you seriously

"As you know... protocol. I have to check your blood to ensure you were not given anything into your bloodstream or got an unknown infection." You nodded your head slowly not averting your eyes from his serious gaze. "Then you also know...I must give this report to your Captain of your condition? " you flinched as he considered it as a condition now looking down. His eyes still boring into you as he let out a sigh "What the fuck y/n ! You should've been nowhere near the battlefield. You could've been seriously hurt or killed !" You flinched a bit more, tears forming in your eyes as you couldn't hold it any longer.

"You don't think I don't Fuckin' know that ?!" You cry out in anger yet he doesn't so much as flinch just simply gives you a sympathetic look. "I didn't ask for this ! Any of it !" You get out of the chair huffing annoyed as you began pacing the room his eyes watching your every movement. " You know since you are my patient I'd have to put in you are suspended from combat, training, or field work. Considering even maternity leave by second trimester." He says so casually but it makes you glare daggers at him, deep down logically you know he's right but...fuck you didn't want to have everyone questioning you why you're being pulled off when you are physically fine.

"Please Peter....don't do this to me." You beg him looking at him, he stands up placing a hand on your shoulders making you look at him "Y/n... believe me. I am not doing this as your doctor. I'm doing this as your friend. If something were to happen to you-" you interjected "Nothing will, I can fight-" yet he grips your shoulders more firmly "No ! You could've lost it or your life ! I will not stand by as your doctor or friend to put your life or that child in harms way !"

Child. Huh. Funny, you just found out... could barely even consider it a child as it's just a mere embryo at this point not even a human body formed yet. But deep down, without so much thought your hand slid down touching your stomach and Peter guided you to sit into the chair. "You're my dearest friend. I know this is terrifying...but you have to think outside yourself now" you glance at him as he was boring into your eyes. You knew he was right...deep down you would want to protect your growing child. However, knowing the horrors of the world and your enemies made you terrified to think the timing was just horrible. You couldn't stop. The tears rolled down your face heavily and you sobbed into your friend's shoulder as he let you, hold you.

The next day, you were asked into the office by Captain Price, everyone was expecting you to have to hand in your medical sheet, yet you begged your friend to allow you to talk it out with your captain. You were terrified. Gazing at the door in front of you that had Price's name plate on it, you tentatively rasped your knuckles onto it. As if immediately you hear the Liverpool accent gruffly acknowledge "Enter." John has always been a comforting Captain despite his ranking he valued every solider it's why you remained loyal to this taskforce especially after being handpicking from him. He glances up from the piles of papers he was signing off seeing you enter as he gave you a content smile "Good seeing you Y/n. How are you feeling?"

He motions for you to sit as you do so nervously, "Good sir...um I brought you my medical chart" you reluctantly stretch it out within hand to offer him to look at it as he takes it, even before he opened it you spoked "Permission to ask a favor sir ?" This caught his attention as he set the file down taking in your nervous features. You looked nervous, barely looking like you've slept and definitely have been crying. He tips his head to tell you to go on "Go on..." you let out a shakey breath. "I'd like to request that...my medical condition not be shared outside this room please ?" You almost whispered the please, your eyes begging him to understand and this was a request he was taken back from. Setting the file down rather to hear it from you then read it himself . Honestly John's heart was beating so hard, it was going loudly in his ears "I'll agree...that is if you tell me what it is you have ?"

Honestly his eyes raked over your form, despite being small, you weren't exactly weak, infact he wouldn't even consider you the type to have an illness so imagine his surprise to your request yet nonetheless he was patient and understanding.

You bite your lower lip gripping at the knees of your cargo pants shamefully looking down starting to shake, John placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. You didn't realize he was sitting in front of you at the edge of his desk leaning forward. He was willing to wait until you were ready to tell, and looking into his ocean eyes you gave in "I- I'm pregnant sir..." his eyes were wide for a moment reeling from the news.

Sure he knew you had a boyfriend but you hadn't interacted with him in months that much he was aware of. He would console you some nights when you'd cry about being distant and how he doesn't treat you or touch you the same. Of course he wanted to support you, you were like a daughter to him, so he spoke softly yet with authority "I can see this is a big deal...then I am to presume..." glancing at your figure he didn't know much about pregnant women but he could tell you were no where near showing. "I will not reprimand you y/n...but I need to know." He looks at you seriously waiting.

You knew what he was asking for and it made you even more scared. Having to tell your friend was already a huge step but to tell your captain? "L-Lieutenant G-Ghost sir..." you looked down with shame.

However Price was more shocked than anything. Their Simon Riley? He wanted to gawk at this news but knew that's not what you needed right now, quite frankly he had to contain to his rank. Sitting back "You are aware of the consequences to such inappropriate conduct ? You could be stripped of your rank and court martial." He frowns at you seriously which you nod your head seldomly "Y-Yes sir" he sighs out pinching the bridge of his nose "Does he know ?" This makes you flinch. You really did not want to walk up to your Lieutenant and tell him you're possibly pregnant with his child. That's a big F no. You glance up at your Captain. "No sir... I don't think I can." He gives you a look as you respond immediately "Please Captain, I don't want to cause trouble. I'm begging you. Please make an excuse to suspend me." You gave him a pleading look.

Now under most cases he would've given into your puppy dog eyes but this was serious. You were asking him not only as a Captain but as the best friend to Ghost. To go behind his back and lie to him. He crossed his arms over his chest letting out a deep sigh "Y/n...I am not keen on withholding information from my lieutenant-" you were about to interject yet he raised his hand, which made you silence blushing heavily heart racing "However...I'll grant this request on ONE condition." You seemed hopeful with this proposition. Yet John gave you a very straight look, "I don't care when you do it. But you MUST tell my Lieutenant." He looks at you daring you to object. Now deep down you wanted to. The fear in your eyes was evident. Approach Ghost ? No way...I can barely handle his intense gaze let alone confronting him about this. You bit the inside of your cheek considering it, before relenting "I-I agree sir...when I find the right time. I will. I promise." He studies you looking to see if you were lying but he found none, if anything he just saw how fearful you were from all this so he had to trust you.

Nodding his head accepting that answer he moved back around to his chair sitting down "I will work on a reason for your suspension until you've well..." he seemed flustered to say the least as he cleared his throat. "I'll have Laswell make sure to come up with a decent reason to keep the other lads off your radar." You smile gratefully nodding you head. As you salute him then take your leave. You didn't realize how much you were holding your breath as you let out a shaky breath. Great...now how do you tell a Ghost that he knocked you up ? Grumbling softly you began walking to your bunker, by now, Price was probably working up a reason for your suspension so it seemed only right to pack. Perhaps maybe you'll find the right thing to say to him...why you....such a big responsibility on your shoulders and yet you have to make a choice. Yet depending on what you choose...will it be good ? Or make it worse ?

You make your way down the hall, heading to the food court where everyone was gathered, grabbing their trays of food. Seeing faces that were unfamiliar or people you recognize but never really got to know. Everyone was chatting with another. You took in the room, it was almost overwhelming. Especially the smell, god, the smell of men was potent. Was it always this musky smelling with different colognes drifting through the air. It made you want to hurl your stomach. That was when you felt a large arm drape roughly over your shoulders causing to grunt from the impact as you look up to meet a familiar blue eyes and Mohawk figure. Soap. “There you been lass ! Save a seat for ya’ !” You sigh inwardly “Jesus Christ Soap, I just got discharged-“ he seems to immediately look at you worriedly “You broken Bonnie ?” he studies you almost inspecting to find the source of your pain “Nah, I’m good. Just bit sick to the stomach” he seems to relax at that patting you gently on the shoulder and pushing you to go up to grab some food “Glad you good, had us worried there for a ‘ec, shoot, don’t think I’ve ever seen LT so panicked.” He wiggles a brow at you which makes you shrink and blush before batting his arm away as you grab a tray to pick out food. “Oh hush Soap…any news since-?” you ask curiously as you grab fruits and a salad then take a glance in his direction.

He was stacking his plate up with everything. Jesus that man could eat. It made you start to realize now that you should probably eat more than you’re used to since now you’ll be feeding for two. You decided based on the selection of food presented that you would think your stomach would tolerate is a simple chicken sandwich. Placing it on your plate Soap mumbles lowly “No…nothing. Fuck’n sucks. Feels like we just chasing shadows.” You look up at him sympathetically and toss and apple at him which he fumbles to catch yet does looking at you “You need to even out your diet Soap. Need some form of fruit or veggies in that belly of yours.” As you look down with a smirk to his tray. Boy this Scottish man can eat, not one not two BUT three sandwiches. You snort shaking your head dismissively walking toward where Gaz was seated at a table waving the two of you over. As Soap snaps back “Oi ! I’ll have you know I gotta feed my gains ! We all can’t be tiny and slender like you” he grumbles. This makes you blush, because already you felt you were more bloated than usual. Sure the bump wasn’t as pronounced if anything looked like you gained a few pounds. However, you were always athletic and physically in shape.

Taking a seat next to Gaz you smile at him, which he returns the gesture “Glad to see you well Hera. Had us all worried.” You blush and smile at him. Oh Gaz was probably secretly your favorite he was charming and sweet and absolutely the best kind of friend you could ask for. He is the definition of blood brother. You two always looked after each other and you were the one who mentioned his name to Price so there was a mutual friendship long before the taskforce. “Sorry for making you worry…by the way where’s Ghost ?” you cock your head looking at both men. They seem to frown at the mention of his name but Soap finally answers “Honestly…’aven’t seen him much lately…LT been very weird lately. But I bet he’ll be happy to see you up and about,” he pats your shoulder playfully smirking at you. You laugh softly. Eventually you finally begin eating, guess they seem oblivious to asking why you fainted which you were glad. They knew exactly how to make you relax, between their bickering and story telling they made you relax and feel normal and forget about the looming secret growing.

Immediately your instinct is to reach to your thigh where you usually wore your strap holding your dagger but of course. You were literally butt naked. Turning fully to look at the figure, you realize it’s none other than Ghost. You breathe out a sigh “Fuckin’ hell Ghost. Why you have to be such a creep !” you hiss out in an annoyance after nearly being scared trying to soothe your heart rate down as you look at his eyes rake over you. “You need to sharpen your awareness then. Could’ve been anyone.” He says seriously, his arms crossed over his chest looking at you. Now not only were you flustered but him correcting you at the moment really triggered you as you snap, “Well I shouldn’t need to be on guard on base !” you glare at him, yet he doesn’t so much as seem bothered by your features. Instead he approaches you, moving closer as he looks down at you. Your back pressed into the edge of the sink as he leans forward-

The day went by so quickly, you went with the boys to shoot some rounds, finally approved by your friend to hold a rifle to shoot some rounds. Of course, your aim is flawless when holding your favorite rifle It made you feel normalize in your life. After that you decided be best to take a shower as there are so few women on this base, and most the building was set up for men, you’d often wait until late as possible to be able to shower in peace. Taking a change of clothes and a towel you enter the shower room setting your bag down and undressing. Immediately your eyes scan over your naked form, for now you showed no signs. In fact you still looked sleek and fit. Yet you knew the wiser. Glancing at the side of your profile, you immediately felt insecure, the idea your body will change and expand that you’ll put on weight made you shiver. Tearing your eyes from the mirror you step into a shower stall and turn on the water. The gushing of cold hits your hand as you wait for it to warm up, now normally your body could handle such, but now you felt it was too cold to tolerate. Even with your body barely been pregnant long it already seems to be shifting to accommodate this unborn form.

You step under the warmth of the water letting it glide over your body. Its almost cleansing feeling the water graze over your body, as you comb your fingers through your scalp down to the end of your hair length. You began rubbing yourself with your bar of soap and sponge taking your time to clean yourself fully. Once you finished you turn off the water and wringing out your hair before reaching for your towel. The bathroom room was now full of your shower steam as it fogged the mirrors. You stood in front of one of them with your towel wrapped around, leaning closer you use your hand, in a circular motion to clear off the fogged mirror only to see a skull mask looking directly at you.

Ghosts POV

When they heard you over the comms tell them your spot been compromised he felt horrified that they wouldn’t have been able to get back to you on time and would’ve found you dead. Yet instead, they found you losing your stomach. It was all weird. You were if anything the most toughest women he’s met aside from Laswell, and that speaks volume. You were someone he let his guard down with, without regret. He didn’t mind showing you his darkest side, his pain, his reminders, and face. You took him in. You acknowledged him. You were patient with him too which is something he respected about you. You were someone who carried them self with such maturity, purity, and selflessness. And he…stupidly took advantage of that. From that night.

The minute you began to faint, he was immediately lunging to your side and catching you before you hit the ground. Judging by your state, didn’t seem like you were wounded extremely. Maybe some bruising. However, he found it unusual that you were losing your stomach after killing a man. I mean, everyone’s done stuff that made them sick, but he’s seen you calm and collected stabbing a man in the neck when you were lunged at one time during a mission. He always found you resilient so seeing you this sensitive seemed odd. Soap disrupted his thoughts looking down at your passed out form “Oi, Bonnie !” he immediately checked your pulse yet he knew wiser “She ‘s alright Soap. Just fainted from the looks of it.”

He then reaches to his vest still cradling her in his arms as he radios in the help, “Nikolai, bring the helo to RV. Coming in hot, Hera fainted.” He immediately picks you up bridal style, despite wearing a vest and armor you were still light. He nods his head, “Keep up Soap” as he already begins running to the rendezvous. Upon seeing the chopper lower, you began to stir in his arms and mumbles hoarsely “I-Im good. You can put me down Ghost.” He doesn’t even look down at you saying deeply “Didn’t look that way Sargent.” Yet you protest more, which he relents to setting you carefully onto the ground. His hands honestly wanted to linger over you longer but Soap came in supporting you with your arm over his shoulder “Aye ! Glad to have you back Bonnie. Gave us quite a scare !” he shouts over the loud chopper blades as they both walk in sync to load in.

Ghost lingers a good distance scanning their surroundings before getting into the chopper. He sits across from you, his eyes not leaving your frame. You seem distant... Like your mind was elsewhere yet you tried to remain present in the moment. He couldn’t help but try to read you as you made your best attempt to assure everyone you’re fine. But he could see otherwise. The way your eyes fluttered, how you forced a fake smile that seemed to work on others but couldn’t fool him. He also couldn’t help but notice how your hand instinctively went to touch your stomach.

He squinted his eyes, ‘Did you get hit in the stomach ? Is she hurt ? She didn’t seem bothered when I had my hand there carrying her.’ All these thoughts ran through his mind during the whole flight back. Once they finally returned, you of course tried to brush off that you were fine, yet Ghost wasn’t having it. You were off. He could feel it. He simply gave you a stern look and a sharp tone, “No. You’re getting checked up. End of discussion Sargent.” This made you flinch with his tone, but he had no choice. You wouldn’t have listened to reason no matter how much Soap begged or even asked you. However one thing he did admire you for, as a soldier, you always obeyed orders. You made your way to the med base, his eyes never leaving you as he wanted to make sure you actually headed that direction, yet Soap pulled him from his line of sight. “Gee, LT, didn’t have to be all ‘trict on ‘er.” Ghost side glances Soap with a slight brow raise. Then huff. “I don’t care. She needed to be told. She listened. ‘nough said” Taking his leave before Soap could say anything else he needed to get his mind off you.

Now he stands in front of you, with you barely covered before him. This was different. He could see the traces of bruising form on your shoulder. One was peeking just above your cleavage. His eyes took you in as your drenched form stood in front of him shying away from his line of sight as he was so close to you. He’d give anything to feel you again like before especially as you stand here practically exposed to him. Yet, as much as he wanted to give into his temptations... “I ‘ear you been askin’ ‘round for me,” his eyes scan between yours as you seem to gulp at this, obviously indicating it was true. “But now you loss for words ?” you bite the inside of your cheek, obviously he hit a nerve. Cocking a brow as he saw the strength in your eyes that always made him honestly want to give in. You spoke-“I was….there was something I wanted to tell you,” he tilted his head to the side narrowing his eyes a bit then nods “Well what is it ?” He takes a step back from you, his broad arms crossed as he gazes down at you.

He was leaning close to your ear, you were trembling before him, your hands out pressing onto his hoodie chest. His heart rate spiked from under your touch. Your lips said one thing but your body said something else. He watched you that day talk excitedly about seeing your boyfriend. Yet, he finds you a mess with tear stains avoiding everyone. He knew. He bloody fucking knew it. Your boyfriend was everything he hated and would even compare to as his own father. You who fought everyday, gave yourself willingly, everything as an amazing women and girlfriend. Only for that selfish prick to break it. It boiled him. To see you this way, you were their light. To see you so diminished was something he'd tear the world to bring that shine out in you. He leaned close to your ear “Say the word love. I’m here.” Your eyes looked up at him, oh those doe eyes. He would surrender to that sight in a heartbeat.

You were his weakness…

...but he also learned to see you were also his strength. You mouth slowly began to parts your eyes seemed to show a since of strength ‘Fuck…even when broken she stands strong. This women…’ he didn’t waste a minute crashing his lips onto your trembling lips. They were so plump and soft. You tasted salty from your tears, which he sucked away but the lingering taste of cherry from your lips made him want to devour you more. His hand sneaked down still holding under your chin, while the other unlatched from above the doorframe to rest on your hip. Pulling you closer to him, he could feel your hand slowly slide up his bicep to his neck. The sensation feeling of your soft fingers fleeting over it made him more riled. He immediately let go of his hold on your chin and opened the door to your bunker. He guides you in his hand pushing you in at your hips as he almost guides you to your bed in the corner. You stop just in front of the bed, his hands cupping your cheeks and neck kissing you more fiercely. You’re the one to make the first move, during the intense heat, you begin tugging at his belt loop. He can feel it. Yet-

Being practically naked gripping your towel around your dripping body was definitely not how you imagined telling him about being pregnant, however, maybe you can ask something else- “What happened a month ago... do you regret it ?” perhaps getting some kind of answer will bring out the courage to tell him. You watch for any kind of shift in his eyes yet you barely see much. However his eyes does narrow in on you, you wonder if he sees you’re dodging what’s the real reason you’ve been asking around of his absence. Just when your mind was planning to handle whatever response he gives, everything hit you like a bullet into a vest-

Wrong, because less then two days later he was making his way to the Captains office, knocking on it and telling him of his arrival. With the Captain deeply grunting to come in. What he wasn’t expecting was to see the Captain, stressed ? The man looked exhausted like he was fighting a battle of some sort. He looked as if he was atlas holding the world over his shoulder, every muscle tensed and jaw clenched using every ounce of power to keep going. Then when the Captains eyes met his, and the words came out, Ghost world came shattering. “Y/n, has quit the taskforce…” his eyes went wide, he was a man to hide any emotions but this…he wasn’t expecting you to up and leave. Did you even say bye to everyone? Were you crying your eyes out when you decided it ? But the one question that bothered in the back of his mind was; Was it because of HIM ?

He grunts a bit “Was a one time thing.” His eyes unwavering and stoic as if this is such a silly subject to be bringing up as he decided it was best to burn this bridge before his feelings got worse for you. He could not allow this to become more. He promised- now swore he’ll never get attached and he stupidly did. It was obvious for Soap to see, and if that was the case, how many others would notice too ? “It meant nothing Sargent. We both needed an escape. If this is what you wanted to waste my time for than we are done.” ‘Fuckin’ ‘ell, that should do it…’ he thought to himself, yet what he didn’t expect was to see the tears daring to form in your eyes he simply just stood there, your little fists were gripping the towel so tight your knuckles were white and your jaw was clenched. Yet, he didn’t stop there. He should have. “You’re a burden to this team…we don’t need dead weight. If you can’t get better than your no use to this team.” He said it…damages done.

The words hurt him just as much as it seemed to have hurt you. But instead of lashing out, which honestly he would have preferred you do then maybe he would’ve taken back his words. You… just stood there silent. It was worse than a ticking bomb going off. Your eyes were blazing with anger and he can see your tears wanting to crash down yet you suck in a deep breath, he honestly was expecting the worse, and you just went to grab your stuff. You began changing you didn’t even care if he would be watching or not, of course he wouldn’t dare instead was looking at the sinks only daring to listen to you as you shuffle. In matter of minutes you were dressed, holding your bag about to leave, you hand on the handle yet you stop. Looking at him ,‘Fuck…now I’ve done it. Price gonna rem me for it now’ he thought but instead you look at him with that same strength in your eyes “Good night Lieutenant.” It came out sharp he could hear it the slight venom in it but he didn’t so much aa react. He stupidly just stood there side glancing you before you finally took your leave. He then gazes back at the mirror, seeing his reflection he hated what he was seeing in himself but it had to be done. Maybe when you’ve cooled your head he’ll approach you differently. Perhaps these words would encourage you to do better. Perhaps now he won’t distracted by your alluring presence. Right-?

…

#ghost x reader #cod ghost #simon ghost riley #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #cod modern warfare #cod x y/n #cod x you #simon ghost riley x f!reader #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley smut #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost simon riley #ghost call of duty #ghost mw2 #ghost smut #ghost cod #ghost x female reader #mw2 ghost #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley smut #cod mw ghost #cod fanfic #cod mwii #cod mw2 x reader #cod x reader #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 2

[levi-my-beloved]

The Ackerbond Chapter 6: The Ackerbond Divides

Pairing: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Warnings: SMUT, honestly might just leave that as is but uh yeah SMUT, couples fighting™️, honestly I wrote so much of this so long ago I don't remember but like violence and stuff I'm pretty sure,

A/N: i have nothing but apologies to offer and maybe some updates like I graduated... yaaaaaaay....... that and I've been obsessed with a promiscuous pansexual vampire twink since august iykyk

oh also also, sorry for the millions of mistakes that this is likely riddled with <3

Taglist: @levmada @awesomeness1679 @purplecandygerl @iam-thevillain-of-thisstory @pluvio-pluto @midnightbarnes97 @aresclouds @imkumichan @xxpadfootxx @cmjh3 @justa19 @notgoodforlife @leviackermanmyhero245 @kaea-peverall @jakillski @macaronnv @natalie-skz @oldtownwonderland @snailsposts @lunardeiity @clusiesuzie @hi-imkaiya @isabellawigginss @ackermandick @orionsalos @disaster-writer @temariskadi @nariko1989 @elizaack @dixie-chick @death-by-bullseye @leviackermanst @poisonpeche @arcticcashew @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @littleagxs @wall-maria-fritz

Annie Leonhart. That was her name. One of the 104th cadets who chose the Military Police. That was the girl who ripped your family away from you. Just one girl. Fuck’s sake. You’d barely had time to recover after losing your family. But whilst the devil works hard, Erwin Smith works harder, already having an idea as to who the Titan was, and also a plan as to how to capture her.

And it had almost worked without consequence. Almost. But Annie was smarter than you all realised, and transformed before Armin could convince her underground. You’d been ordered to stay out of combat, by both Erwin and Levi. But so many were dying… so many were getting between the Scouts and their target that you didn’t have a choice. You didn’t do much, just scoop civilians out of the way, as many as you could. Though your body now screamed at you for it. 

Worth it. 

You stood before your enemy’s crystal. How could she look so peaceful after what she did? After the thousands she murdered. How could she look so damn content? You grit your teeth, molars grinding against molars. So much had happened as a result of the conflict.

Like a fucking Titan in the wall. You’d all seen it before Pastor Nick came running up. What the hell that sleazy holy man had been keeping from you, you were sure Hange could get it out of him. They were good at that sort of thing. 

Light footsteps echoed in the cellar. Not that you needed footsteps to tell when he was nearing you. You knew from the feeling alone. There was a tangible moment of silence before either of you spoke.

“I know.”

Levi quirked a brow, stepping up beside you. Unlike you, he wasn’t in uniform. The damage to his leg was worse than any of you realised, and he’d too been ordered to recover. “I didn’t even say anything.” 

A gentle scoff flew from your lips, your eyes sliding from Annie to Levi. “You didn’t need to. I could tell by your vibes.” 

It was Levi’s turn to laugh slightly, his arm wrapping around your side, keeping you near him. He knew what you were thinking. Could hear your thoughts from the other side of the damn city. You had yet to test the range of the bond, but it was nice to know it was further than just the barracks or however far away you were on the 57th. Staying silent, he waited for you to continue. 

“She took everything, and she just gets to sleep. How is that fair…?” You asked quietly, fighting tooth and nail to keep your brewing tears from sliding down your face. “And we’re left with more questions than answers even after capturing the bitch. We got nothing out of this. And Eld, he…” you trailed off, not quite able to voice the fact that his death was fruitless. All of theirs were. Petra, Gunther, Oluo… they all died for nothing. 

“No. He didn’t,” Levi tilted your head to face him with a finger beneath your chin, “we give their deaths meaning. You know that’s why we fight.” It was a conversation you’d had many times before, and even before you two were together. When caught up in the seemingly endless parade of grief, he would pull you out and give you something to fight for. 

“Yeah. I know…” was all you could say, looking back to the blonde. But Levi wasn’t having any of it, once again turning your head back to face him. You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t stop a smile from pulling at your lips. Always so persistent. “I’ll try to stop thinking about it, okay?” You bargained, earning yourself a sweet kiss on your forehead.

“Good. I’ll know if you don’t.” 

“How much time do you spend in my head?”

“Pretty much all of it.”

You couldn’t even be mad. You knew his own was just as haunted as yours. Maybe you would find equal solace in his mind as he did in yours. It was worth a shot. Not now, not yet, but sometime. 

Having not even noticed he’d led you away and back up the stairs, you were snapped out of your dark reverie by Hange approaching and looking uncharacteristically grim. 

“No luck?” you asked before they’d even spoken. Shaking their head, Hange sighed heavily. They looked more exhausted than you’d ever seen them, even after all-nighter Titan experiments they didn’t look this rough. 

“Not a damn thing. We’ve sent various messengers to outposts within Wall Rose territory. ” You hoped that meant Nanaba would be prepared. You hadn’t even had the chance to say goodbye before she rode off with the 104th. You guessed it made sense to keep them all separated just in case but you couldn’t help but curse the circumstances.

Fuck this week. 

It had been mere hours since the messenger came through, screaming about how Titans had somehow breached another fucking wall, and you could all only assume the Colossal or Armoured would have been the ones to do it. This was too much of a coincidence. You capture the Female, and all of a sudden there’s another breach? They had to be related. 

“Did Annie have any close friends within the 104th? Like, people she would often hang out with…?” you asked slowly, only now making the connection. And it seemed Hange was on the same wavelength. 

“I’ve already asked for a background check on her, should be with me within the next few days.” 

“Oh yeah, Erwin’s theory. If the Colossal and Armoured Titans are shifters too, it makes sense they would also be in the 104th.” Levi murmured, watching the exchange between you and Hange with something you knew was slight awe. Your brain had always been fast, but watching it paired with Hange’s was a spectacle to witness. It had him wondering just how many people you could silently communicate with.

–Just you. Don’t get jealous again.–

–The fact you can have a conversation out loud and also have one in your head simultaneously is fucking terrifying.–

He heard your snort in his mind, still watching you talk with Hange.

–It’s a gift.–

“So what can we do?” You asked Hange, trying not to send a smirk Levi’s way. It didn’t matter, he could feel your amusement anyway.

“We’re heading to Ehrmich District, Pastor Nick’s coming too and we’re taking Eren, Armin, and Mikasa with us.” They explained. You hadn’t really interacted with Armin or Mikasa all that much, but you knew the girl was an Ackerman. It could be a good opportunity to see if she had any insight into your situation with Levi, or if she feels something similar toward Eren. It was obvious enough she’d completely fallen in love with the boy, and since she shared a last name with Levi, maybe there was something there too?

Honestly, you were speculating.

–Don’t expect much from her. She wants me dead.–

–You beat the shit out of the man she loves, you’d be the same if someone kicked my tooth out.–

–...Understandable.–

“And you want us to come with you? Why?” you asked, once again refraining from looking at the man to your left. Which, you’d recently discovered, was almost impossible.

“Babysitting duty!” they informed you, way too cheerily. “I’ll be taking a group to look for the breach and since you're both off active duty for now, I thought it could be a cute couple’s activity to keep an eye on our Pastor.” 

You have never wanted to die more in your life than in this very moment. Were they fucking serious? Babysitting?

“I hate you–”

“So fucking much.” Levi finished, and you both looked at each other, knowing you just made it one thousand times worse by finishing each other’s sentence.

“See? You’re like a married couple already! Plus it’s Erwin’s orders so you can’t back out.” They clapped their hands together excitedly, looking between you as if they were witnessing a proposal. You were surprised how they could be so ecstatic considering the last few days, but Hange was always good at masking grief with insanity. You were glad you knew them so well.

“When are we heading out?” you asked, your voice completely monotone. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you knew you weren’t capable of just sitting and waiting to hear news. You knew Hange had done this for you because though the two of you were completely different, you had your similarities.

Like being unable to stay out of battle, for example. 

As for Levi, he was more sensible than the two of you combined. You knew he wasn’t being dragged along for your benefit alone, but you still appreciated it. Not that he would have stayed somewhere without you. Not yet anyway. The idea of being alone so soon just… he couldn’t.

“Sundown,” they confirmed, running a hand through their hair. “I have a few things to get done before then, but that should give me just enough time.” 

You placed a hand on your hip, clearly about to be here talking for longer than you were expecting to. “Oh? Like what?”

“I have a few tests to run,” you narrowed your eyes at them. “No! No, not on Eren, he’s still exhausted. On something else actually. I have a theory about that Titan crystal that I want to confirm before we leave.”

You nodded thoughtfully. There had been way too many firsts recently. The discovery of a possible four shifters within the 104th cadet corps, Titans in the walls, and now another fucking breach. And you had a terrible feeling this was just the beginning.

–I know.–

As per usual, Levi’s voice brought you no small degree of comfort. This time, you didn’t refrain from looking at him, a soft, grateful smile pulling at your lips. How any single person could be so fucking perfect, you would never know.

–Stop.–

–Hmm. Make me.–

–You’re ridiculous.–

–You’re hot.–

The next look Levi sent you was nothing short of withering as if he’d already grown tired of your bullshit. Which seemed impossible. He loved your bullshit!

–No, I really don’t.–

–Wait… really?– You asked, with a hint of genuine concern. 

Levi paused for a moment. Were you actually worried, or were you just trying to get him to admit that he actually did enjoy your bullshit? 

–...maybe sometimes.–

–HA! Knew it!– you responded, far too smugly for his liking. He suppressed the urge to sweep your leg. If only his own wasn’t badly injured…

“So, how does all of this work?”

You both snapped back to look at Hange, who you’d completely forgotten was there. It wasn’t the first time you’d been so caught up in your little mental conversation that you forgot about the verbal ones, but this was on a whole other level. Hange was right there, and you’d both just ignored them in favour of having your own private little chat.

“What uh– like uh, how does uhm– like– what do you, like, mean?”

–That was possibly one of the greatest butt-fumbles of a question you’ve ever asked.–

–Did you just say butt-fumble?!–

–Concentrate. Hange’s answering.–

–Oh shi- – 

“Well, everyone and their mother, dead or alive, can tell that there’s something deeper here. Deeper than your average cute lil’ relationship, I mean.”

“I will cut you and it will hurt.” 

It took you a minute to figure out who’d said that between you and Levi, having had the exact same thought.

Or was that a thought of his? It was getting hard to tell now. 

“Come on now Levi, ever since we caught your two cuddling on the floor–”

“I was bleeding out!” You protested with indignance. Honestly, Nanaba and Nifa had not stopped talking about that. You almost fucking died!

“An insignificant detail. But a few things have been running through my mind, the first being how could you,” they pointed to Levi, who looked ready to commit arson, “have possibly known she had blown her stitches?”

“I’m right fucking here…” you muttered, causing Levi to snort in your head.

“There was no way she could have told you, and nobody had entered her room since you had to kick the door in. Not only this but there was that day in the field too! We were mid-conversation and you just suddenly took off! Next thing I hear you’d managed to save her life,”

“I’m still right fucking here.” 

“So, how does this all work? Because you can’t be human with the things you’re able to do–”

“What?”

“–and he always manages to save your ass even when he didn’t know it needed saving five seconds beforehand!”

The air around you fell completely silent. You didn’t even begin to question how Hange had managed to work this much out already, because of course they did. This shouldn’t have come as such a surprise if you were being honest, and yet here you were, stunned into silence. 

Levi too found himself mentally floundering for a logical explanation. Because how the fuck would he explain how the bond between you worked when he himself barely knew. He could feel your pain, your pleasure, your emotions. He could see glimpses into a future where, had he failed, you died. Not to mention the fact you could both access a shared space within your combined souls where you couldn’t feel each other and that space could be morphed and crafted into anything. It could be a little cabin for just the two of you, or a giant open field with a lake like it was the first time. But no matter where you were, that glowing tree of pure light was always there. Always.

“What’s your theory?”

Levi turned to you, wide-eyed. Was this it? Were you about to tell them everything? How the bond worked, how it started, and how it’s going now?

Hange’s eyes glinted with newfound enthusiasm. You’d made it into a little game, and they’d picked up on it. It was obvious enough that something was going on between you and Levi, and they had so far guessed right, that this something wasn’t just surface level, and ran so much deeper than anybody could see. 

–Are you out of your fucking mind?–

You almost laughed aloud at the panic in Levi’s voice.

–Just trust me, okay?–

–If Four-eyes ends up running experiments on me, I will never forgive you–

Mischief radiated from the part of his soul that was occupied by you, and he grit his teeth. Fuck’s sake.

“My theory? Well, I haven’t had the time to properly work anything out, but I think Shorty here can do more than he lets on, but of course, you already know that, don’t you?” 

You held up your hands in innocence. “I’m not saying anything until I hear what you think is going on,” you countered, rather enjoying this new game you’d started, even if you knew it stressed the fuck out of your little soulbond. He would be totally fine… no real harm could come from Hange knowing a little more about your relationship. 

You were almost certain.

“Okay so what if, we know Levi has more than human abilities when it comes to fighting, so what if he had more than human abilities when it comes to love? What if his fighting skill wasn’t the only thing he excelled at. What if communication was something he could do on an insane level too?”

“That's ridiculous–”

“I’m listening…”

These synchronised responses were a tad suspicious, you would admit. And yet it only seemed to further Hange’s excitement in the two of you.

“Okay so! What if, hear me out, he could communicate with you, on like, another level…?”

–How crazy would that be?– Well that made it borderline impossible not to snort in Hange’s face.

–Levi…?–

–Mm?–

–Not helpful.–

“Like, how do you mean?” You were more than happy to bite. More than happy to entertain this with the slightest hint of sarcasm, hoping that would throw them slightly. Conversational politics, something you’d learned from Erwin many years ago. And though you still stand by the fact you weren’t brave enough for politics, it was still nice to use all that he’d taught you when he was your captain.

“So, and bear with me here, what if he could somehow communicate with you without anyone else hearing. Like, in your head or something?”

Your eyes widened slightly. Oh fuck, they really did have a lot figured out, didn’t they? You stared at them for a moment, both hearing and feeling Levi freak the fuck out. This wasn’t exactly how you were expecting this conversation to go…

“Hange…?

They looked at you like a puppy faced with a bone. “Yeah?”

You paused.

“That’s fucking ridiculous.” You flatlined, before subtly kicking Levi’s foot and walking away without another word. It wasn’t that you enjoyed watching the misplaced hype fade from their eyes, but when it came to something so secret and special as the bond between you and your soulmate, you didn’t mind letting them down a few times. 

Levi followed you, and if he didn’t love you so damn much, he probably would have killed you for pulling a stunt like that. But there was something about the confident way you walked, the slight swing in your hips like you knew he was watching you. 

–Of course I know… and we have a few hours before Hange wants us on that cart…– he knew that tone in your voice. That slightly sultry cadence drove him batshit crazy and worst of all, you knew it drove him insane.

–...What did you have in mind?–

Levi’s back hit the door to his office with a solid thud, the sound of the sliding lock securing his arousal as you pinned his arms above his head with your threaded fingers. If his mouth was free, he would have whimpered along with the shot of heat running through his spine. But with your tongue thrust down his throat, he could only manage a choked squeak of approval. He fucking loved it when you were bold like this. When you took control. When you slammed him against the wall and made him forget his own damn name. 

Combined moans danced with each other when you forced your leg between his thighs, applying delicious pressure to the borderline painful strain against the front of his slacks. You were rabid, vicious, desperate with your other hand, ripping his jacket from his shoulders. Your mouth travelled from his tongue to his jaw, setting his voice free from the confines of his throat, breathy gasps flying from parted lips. You nipped and bit with tongue and teeth, sharply pinching down the side of his neck, a particularly sensitive weakness. 

“Sh-shit, someone’s ea-AH! Fuck! Eager,” you interrupted him with a bite to the spot just behind his ear. That paired with the bold grasp of his clothed cock after tearing his jacket off sent his brain short circuiting. 

You didn’t know where this sudden craving for his body came from. Sure, you always wanted to fuck him, you didn’t think there was a minute in a day where you couldn’t happily discard your clothes for him if he asked, but where this specific craving came from, you weren’t entirely sure. You just had the sudden urge to shove his dick in your mouth.

“Fuck, you can’t think shit like that… n-not when-ngh, not when I can-n still hear it.” You stifled your heated chuckle by sucking a bruise into the side of his neck, groaning along with him when your cunt throbbed. You hadn’t even thought about the idea of pleasuring yourself purely by pleasuring him, but now that seed had been planted in your head, you were definitely going to abuse the power the moment the chance arose. 

“Keep your hands up,” you instructed, threading your fingers out from his grasp. To your surprise, he actually obeyed for once, his palms now flat against the door behind him as you tore his shirt out from where he’d tucked it into his pants. You didn’t even bother to undo the buttons, just shoved it up his stomach until you had access to his peaked nipples, flicking and pinching until he cried out and your eyes rolled, once again latching onto his neck. 

Levi knew you’d left a mark he wouldn’t be able to cover up easily, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care right now. Now when all he could do was rake his nails down the wood behind him as you started to travel down his chest, skipping his covered collarbones. A small mercy, but a mercy nonetheless. 

Now you had the freedom to, you couldn’t count how many purple blossoms you’d suckled into pecs, crescent bite marks flushing pink against his pale skin, pebbled nipples now sensitive and raw. You popped one into your mouth, gripping his waist with one hand when you felt his crowing pleasure as your own. It was impossible to stem the constant thrumming of your clit when the tip of his cock kept rubbing against the front of his seam. Levi bucked his hips impatiently as you slowed down the pace of your actions, licking a hard line from his naval up to the centre of his chest. Having to hold his shirt up was getting frustrating, restricting the use of both your hands. You’d almost abandoned his chest completely, before a wicked idea sprouted in your mind.

Levi could feel it, the sudden spark of mischief in your heart, and before he could even truly decipher what it was you had planned, you stood back up and shoved the bottom of his shirt between his teeth, gagging his keening moans. You took a small step back, just to admire his appearance. Flushed all over, painted black and blue by your teeth, rosy pink dusting his cheeks and sweat dripping down the side of his pinched brows. A new painting, you thought to yourself.

–Come. On–

You grinned. Even in your head he sounded as desperate as he looked. Though you could feel it too, the tightening coil of arousal. But toying with him has become one of your favourite pastimes. “I’m just admiring the view, you look fucking delicious ‘Vi.”

Despite his current situation, he still managed to roll his eyes. –I’m not above getting myself off if you don’t hurry up–

Oh. Oh that was a mistake. He knew the moment your eyes lit up and his cock throbbed as an echo of your own pussy. 

You stepped back up to him, keeping searing eye contact as your fingers deftly unhooked his belt and slowly pulled down the front of his zipper. “Yeah? Show me then.” 

There was nothing he could do against the dare in your voice, and especially not as you reached into his briefs, pulling out his desperately soaking cock. He watched you bite your cheek at the first brush of your hand, your lips parting as you couldn’t help but pump him slightly, too lost in your own growing pleasure. 

Levi arched his back off the door behind him and into your loose fist, forgetting all about your little challenge when your thumb circled his head, your cheek falling against his shoulder. It was all he could do to remember to breathe through the now sodden shirt clamped between his teeth, ragged gasps fueling your movements. 

His voice cracked as you squeezed the base of his shaft, eyes screwed closed and hands balling tight. 

“Not yet…” you panted against his neck, before setting him free completely and walking backwards until your thighs hit the desk behind you. From here, you removed your own belt, pulling down your pants and underwear in one motion. Levi didn’t know what you had planned, but his eyes instantly honed in on your soaking cunt the moment you hopped up onto the desk and spread yourself for him. 

“I want you to watch my pussy throb around nothing as you fuck yourself with your fist. And before you ask, no I won’t be touching myself.”

Levi almost came there and then. That had to have been the single hottest thing you’d ever said to him. Though the idea was cruel, the tip of his cock leaked at the idea. 

–Fuck… you’re serious?–

“Completely.”

–Do I have to keep this fucking thing in my mouth?–

“You want me to find something else to gag you with?” The idea of stuffing your underwear in his mouth did spring to mind, but it was too much of a hassle to take your boots off. Plus, it was so much hotter this way, you got to see the extent of what your previous administrations did to his chest.

–Shit, okay… can I use both hands?–

“Nope. Just one.”

–Fuck you’re cruel today–

“You gonna keep me waiting?”

With a huff of indignance, Levi left one of his hands to claw at the wood behind him, the other coming down to clasp his aching cock. You both moaned in unison, every stroke down his shaft feeling like he was inside you, your walls fluttering against nothing. 

You’d instructed him to watch your cunt, something he thought he could do with ease, but when he grasped his dripping head and swirled his thumb around his tip, he fought tooth and nail against the instinct to throw his head back. 

You, on the other hand, did no such thing. “Fuck ‘Vi… like that. Oh shit, feels… fuck that feels good,” you breathed, feeling your clit pulse with a phantom touch. You still had every intention of sucking him off, but for now you just wanted to feel, content to keen and writhe as you relished every languid pump of his cock.

Every instinct was screaming at him to cross the room and bury himself deep inside your walls, seeing you so wet and ready for him. But he would be good today. This was something new that neither of you had thought of before, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying it more than he thought he would. He watched you gush, your hips lifting off the desk as his hand applied pressure, sparking another cracked moan from his barred lips. 

Before, the idea of getting himself off was never really appealing. It was only since this had started did he actively enjoy it, most likely because he knew you were feeling good too. So, with newfound courage, Levi ran his thumb down the vein on the underside of his shaft, crying out with the sharp spike of euphoria in his blood. 

You obviously weren’t unaffected. “Yes! Fuh–ahaah! Fuck…! Ag-again!” 

He was yours to command, and so complied with your wish, once again thumbing down the sensitive vein. A sob wracked from his chest, bringing your back to reality.

–Please! I… I can’t fucking- NGH! Please…!– 

“Y-you want my f-ah! Want my fingers?” you asked, throwing your previous promise of not touching yourself out the window. 

Levi’s hair bounced with a vigorous nod, only now craving that toe-curling sensation he felt when you hit that particularly sensitive spot inside you. 

You made a show of sucking on your fingers, eyes still rolling as he continued to pleasure you both, before slowly pushing them through your folds. Levi’s gasp blended into a high pitched sob as you teased your own cunt. He’d actually been the one to help you find your g-spot, instructing you through heavy lashes until he too was keening. You could find it without much effort now, and when you finally pushed against it, Levi let his shirt fall.

“NGHA-HAAH! Shit! Oh fuck fuck FUCK!” You didn’t say anything when the back of his head hit the door, eyes screwed shut again as he desperately bucked his hips into his fist, picturing your pussy sucking him in. Neither of you had had the time to explore where in him you could tease until he went cross eyed, finding the same result this way. But he knew you wanted to, and deep down, he knew he wanted to too. Nothing had ever felt this good. 

Goosebumps started to prickle your skin as you curled your fingers, his wanton cries an orchestra to your performance. Though this wasn’t exactly what you had in mind when you’d provoked him earlier, this was so much better. The room became a symphony of ecstasy, neither of you able to voice anything other than pure, unadulterated pleasure. 

You stilled your fingers at the same moment Levi stilled his hand, looking at each other with nothing but burning desire, both of you heaving for oxygen.

“You let the shirt fall…” you rasped, voice slightly raw. Levi opened his mouth to reply, but just at that moment you curled your fingers inside yourself again, sending him back into a stuttering, moaning mess.

“I– ah-haah! W-wasn’t my fault!” It wasn’t the attitudinal retort he wanted to have, but that seemed impossible when you were still inadvertently fucking him. 

Sliding your fingers from your cunt, you both sighed slightly at the loss, before you finally took the time to remove your boots, pulling your pants and underwear off completely. 

Levi stood still against the door, catching his breath for a moment. Neither of you had come yet, likely making this the longest you have lasted in each other’s presence. Hopping off the desk, Levi watched as your hips swing with each step towards him, and when you held out your hand, he willingly took your wrist, lapping up your tacky slick from your fingers. 

You removed them from his tongue’s reach, replacing them with your own mouth as you kissed him hard. You felt him shiver as you once again grasped his cock, your eyes fluttering as you finally sank to your knees before him. He could barely stand to look at you, all of a sudden so submissive before him, and the moment you wrapped your lips around his tip, vibrations caressing his head from your own moaning, his head once again hit the door. 

“Fuuuuuck… like that… just l-like that, shit…!” your tongue caressed his frenulum, hand twisting and pumping around what couldn’t fit in your mouth. Your eyes closed as your highs approached, having kept them from another for far too long. Hollowing your cheeks, you sucked against his tip hard, drawing a staggered whimper from his chest. “C-cum!! Gonna cum, fuck! G…gah-ah! Gonna fucking cum…!” 

Your nails dug crescents into the milky skin of his waist, knowing the maintenance of your movements will bring you both crashing over the edge. And the moment Levi’s hands threaded through your hair and his hips bucked bruisingly into your mouth, you cried out around his cock as your high hit you, his spilling cum hitting the back of your throat.

Having lost control of his body, Levi’s back bowed in a steep arch, barely able to intake a gasp of breath before pure euphoria injected into his veins, balls tightening before releasing down your throat in sharp spikes of ecstasy. He vaguely registered you too hitting your high, the slight pain from your nails only heightening his pleasure. A long, pitched wail flew past his lips, thighs shaking as he fought to stay on his feet, his muscles having turned to liquid honey.

Caught up in the throes of your orgasm, your nose brushed the coarse hairs on his shuddering naval, having fallen forward without much care for his cock shoving further down your throat. Levi hissed as you whined around his overly-sensitive member, still twitching in the confines of your mouth, before gently moving your head back, setting you both free. 

You chuckled softly, resting your forehead against his thigh as you both basked in the afterglow, taking a moment to catch your breaths, your thumb smoothing over the red marks you’d left around his waist, shivering slightly as you felt them burn into your own skin. 

“Where… the hell… did that come from?” Levi breathed, his fingers curling through your hair, gently massaging against your scalp. Sex between you two was good. He was never going to deny that. The whole feeling each other thing was fucking incredible, but there was something about you ordering him to watch you cunt and get off to it that almost made him harden again. 

“Not too sure to be honest… but I wanna experiment a bit with it…”

“Tch, you sound like Hange.” 

The breath of your laughter huffed against his thigh, and it was only now did he realise that there really wasn’t a lot of mess to clean up, since he’d finished down your throat. The only real mess there was currently dripped from between your thighs, and it took all the power in his blood not to drop to the floor and clean you with his tongue.

“Wish we had the time…” you responded to the thought, shakily rising to your feet, your legs feeling weak both from kneeling and cumming your brains out. Levi thread his hands through his hair, sighing in blissful relief, only opening his eyes when he felt your thumb against the tender spot on the side of his neck, testing the bruise he knew you were looking at.

“Is it bad?”

“Uhm…” your voice was too pitched for his liking, eyes narrowing at your sheepish expression. “It’s… you have any scarfs…?” 

Levi sighed heavily. He couldn’t be mad, not when every high you gave him was better than the previous one, but he did start to question your motives.

“I am not being possessive! I just get carried away sometimes, we both know that.” You pouted, pushing off him and crossing the room back towards your clothes. He wasn’t letting you get away with this though, not so easily. Stuffing himself back into his briefs and zipping up his slacks, Levi couldn’t be bothered to tuck his shirt back in before reaching you in two broad strides, wrapping his arms around your half naked waist and sucking a deep, biting bruise into the exact same spot on your own neck, making a twin to the now fading one on the other side. 

You instantly melted into his touch, gasping lightly as you felt his teeth sink into your skin. A drunk smile pulled at your lips, your brain hazing for a moment, before he stopped suckling and pressed another, lighter kiss against your jaw. 

“There. Now we’re even.”

“Not nearly, I still have this one.” you didn’t sound as put together as you would have liked, but the mere thought seemed impossible when you could feel him smiling against your neck. 

It hit you like a punch from a Titan there and then. A singular thought that could ruin hundreds of moments. They wouldn’t get this. None of them would. They would never be able to experience something like this again. Why was it so right that you did? Grief constricted your breathing to the point where you pulled away from him, wordlessly tugging your clothes back on.

And of course, Levi knew what had happened. Knew exactly what you were thinking. He could hear it loud and clear in his own head. With everything that had happened lately, you hadn’t had the time to process your sorrow. Over the last two or three days, Levi had found himself awoken by your presence trying to make a home in his mind, terrified of your own. You didn’t want to be there, still tormented by guilt and hollowed sorrow. 

“Sorry…” you mumbled, running an exhausted hand through your slightly sweaty hair. “Ruined it, right?” you couldn’t help offering him a melancholy and sheepish smile, now feeling guilty for ruining what was a really nice moment between the two of you. Though the mask dropped when you felt a phantom warmth descend around you. Levi knew you didn’t always like to be physically comforted, but he could still give you the feeling without touching you.

“Never.” he responded gently, reaching his hand out slightly apprehensively, waiting to see if you would shy away or accept the offer. And to his relief, you pressed your arm into his open hand, letting him guide you into his embrace. He knew this had been particularly tough on you. Though his squad was his family too, he still had Hange and Erwin. But you’d never bonded with them as much as you had with your departed friends. They were your family, he knew that. “You’re okay.”

You wanted to nod, but you couldn’t lie to him. You weren’t, but you had to be. You didn’t have a choice right now. These brief moments of weakness were all you were permitting yourself. Anything more and you would take it too far, losing control of your emotions and slipping back into that state Levi had to drag you out from. You wouldn’t put him through that again. It wasn’t fair. 

“I just, I miss them so fucking much.” The tears you shed now weren’t ones of pleasure, but of pain. Of mourning the loss of time to mourn your family properly. He knew. Of course he knew. He would always know. But there was something so heartbreaking about hearing you admit it out loud.  

“It’s bad today, isn’t it?” He asked, softly placing his head atop your own in a successful attempt to bring you comfort, if the way you buried your face into his bruised neck was anything to judge by. 

–Yeah–

You were too afraid your voice would crack if you said anything out loud anymore, wanting more than anything to sink into his skin and disappear from the world, to let his half of your soul consume you and keep you. It hurt to breathe, knowing that they would never breathe again. It hurt to smile and laugh. It hurt to love as deeply as you do now. 

–I know, I know– 

Levi’s voice filled your head, fighting back those thoughts of your undeserved survival. You didn’t think you’d need to hear the reasons to fight again so soon after he uttered them not so long ago, but he was right. It was bad today. Maybe that was why you had him against the door like that, but the idea of using him as a distraction was even worse.

–You know that doesn’t matter to me–

Yes, you knew, but it didn’t help. Letting yourself feel would help, but you didn’t have the time. Neither of you did. And with the news of the recent breach… you didn’t know when you would have the time. And with your injuries, you couldn’t keep yourself busy. You couldn’t ride out with your comrades in this state. You were fucking useless. She was right, this whole time. You’d let your family die, you’re too weak to fight. You hadn’t thought about her in a while, but your grandmother was right. 

“Enough.”

All thoughts in your head ceased. 

Levi used a tone that he knew would get you to shut up, a tone he knew would grind your spiral to a complete halt. Because though it was soft, it was stony. It was a command from your Captain and an order from your bond. 

“Shit… yeah, sorry.” you drew in a slow, deep breath, feeling Levi assist to calm your accelerating heartbeat. When the time would come, you weren’t sure, but you were sure that it wasn’t now. You would get to mourn them, just not yet. 

Drawing you from his chest, Levi cupped your face with both hands, smoothing away the remains of tears beneath your eyes and down your cheeks with his thumbs. “Alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay. Thanks,” you reassured, though your lover didn’t look convinced. 

“You have to let yourself be happy…” 

“Damn, and that’s coming from you.” 

Though it was a low blow, Levi was just relieved you were back to your old self somewhat. Under any other circumstance, he would have at least attempted to hide his soft smile, would have tried to feign irritation. But he couldn’t find it in himself. “Oi, I’m trying, okay?” 

Maybe he could feign a little irritation. Just a little.

You huffed a light chuckle, placing one of your palms atop his scarred knuckles. “Guess we both have to try a little harder.” Pressing your lips to his, you sealed the promise, nothing but love now radiating from your mind. It settled his heart, a kiss of a different passion. No heat, just purity. 

Fuck did he love you. And he would tell you one day, with his words, not just his thoughts.

“There’s no rush.” He felt you were unable to say that with complete honesty. There was always the constant pressure of time breathing down your necks. The unforeseeable future where one of you, or maybe even both of you, may be dead without ever getting to hear those words. 

Like pulling a thread, Levi chased a memory he’d all but forgotten until now. “Do. Not. Lose. Her.”

“Who told you that?” You asked, quirking an intrigued brow. 

“Honestly? Not sure. But it’s the second time I heard it when pulling you from your weird mind lake thing.”

“Hey!”

Levi smirked briefly at your offended façade, before resuming recounting what had happened from his perspective, now you could both talk about it without reopening any wounds. “The door between my head and the bond, it wouldn’t open. I couldn’t get to you. This voice told me to break it,” he turned to lean back against the desk just as you hopped atop it, crossing your ankles.

“What did they sound like?”

“Fucking patronising.”

You snorted. Only Levi would have said something like that about a disembodied voice he couldn’t identify. “Idiot, I meant like, how old? Where from? Did he have an accent like that Sasha girl?”

“Sasha has an accent?”

“Sometimes, though I haven’t really heard her speak much, there's a certain lilt to her voice.” It reminded you of the way Oluo used to speak, before he saw Levi as his new religion and changed his entire image. That first day was hilarious.

Fuck.

“No, she doesn’t have an accent.” He continued, knowing what you’d just thought about and wanting to squash another spiral before it even happened. 

“It’s a woman?”

“I think so… the first time it was indistinguishable but… thinking back now…” his heart clenched. “It sounded like my mother.”

Your eyes widened slightly. Was that possible? 

Levi swallowed thickly before continuing on. “Not in the way she spoke, but in the way her voice sounded. Pitch, cadence, tone… everything. I was too focused on you to really process but… it was her.” 

You covered his hand braced on the edge of the desk. Despite his calm exterior, Levi was a constant maelstrom of emotions, and you did find yourself struggling at times to decipher what exactly he was feeling. Now was a good example, where you couldn’t tell if he was comforted or haunted by the idea of his mother talking to him. 

“‘Vi…”

“At least, the voice was the same. Pretty sure my mother would never say ‘Now is not the time to doubt, blood of mine. Break the door. Do. Not. Lose her.’” He quoted exactly what he remembered being told that night. It was guidance, though brutal as it was. 

You bit your lip in thought, watching as Levi’s tongue darted out to smooth the small phantom hurt. You really must remember to stop doing that so much. “‘Blood of mine’ ? Are all Ackerman’s connected to each other?” you asked, kind of wishing you had told Hange about the bond now. Maybe they could have helped decipher.

“Hard to say. I’ve never heard or felt anything before. Not even around Mikasa, and she’s an Ackerman.”

“You could just share the same last name and nothing more?” It was a weak suggestion, but a possibility nonetheless.

“I would have agreed had I not seen the reports of her strength and then seen it with my own eyes. You saw how she fought the Female Titan. That’s no regular strength.”

“You sayin’ I couldn’t have done something like that?” you asked, eyes flashing with cheeky mischief. Levi clicked his tongue, his own eyes rolling.

“She’s what, fifteen? Yes, I’m saying you couldn’t have done something like that at fifteen years old.”

“You didn’t even know me at fifteen years old!” you protested indignantly. “In fact, I–”

You were rudely cut off by Levi slapping his hand over your mouth, giving you a warning look. Returning his glare, you stuck your tongue out to lick the palm of his hand in petty defiance. Something which earned you nothing but a raise of his brow. 

Point taken.

“It’s weird though,” you began after he removed his hand. “Why can’t you hear any of this when I’m like, not drowning in my mental health held together with a piece of fraying string?”

Levi sighed again, really wishing you wouldn’t talk about your own emotions like that, but now wasn’t the time to bring that up. “Not sure, I guess it only happens when I need it to?” he sounded as unsure as you did, which made sense considering neither of you knew what the fuck was really going on. 

“Think it has something to do with the weird tree thing?” 

He knew what you were talking about, and honestly, it was a sound theory. “I do find it weird that no matter where we’ve chosen, that tree will always be there somewhere,” He sighed, sliding a tired hand down the side of his face. “I’m sorry, I wish I knew more, but I’m as clueless as you are, despite this all coming from me.” 

Your cheek against his shoulder was a welcome presence, strands of your hair tickling the underside of his jaw. “It would feel off-balanced if you knew more than I did anyway,” you reassured him. “Still, I would like to talk to Mikasa. It’s not me she hates, so maybe she’d open up a bit more.”

“I have a feeling it would be a little like trying to get me to open up without knowing me for as long as you have.”

“So I have no hope? Unless I get her to fall in love with me and then she forms a bond with me,” you joked, before the genuine question arose in your head. “Wait yeah, what if something like that did happen? Like, if there were more people with your blood, what if two people managed to bond to the same person?” 

Levi shrugged, causing your head to tilt slightly. “It seems unlikely. If Ackermans are all connected, I don’t think whatever the bond is would let that happen. If it did…” he slid his eyes to where you were peering at him from his shoulder. “They’d probably duel or some shit.”

You barked a laugh, rising to stretch your arms above your head. “The sheer number of references you make to Frederik and Jules is absolutely appalling Levi Ackerman. Honestly, have you no shame?” Hopping off the desk, you crossed the room to unlock the door, thinking it would be a little suspicious if someone tried to enter whilst the bolt was across. 

“Clearly not, I bonded with you, didn’t I?” 

You swivelled, gaping at his audacity. It took you a moment to truly register what he had said, before taking a book from the shelf nearest you and throwing it in his general direction. “Rudeness! Rudeness of the highest insult!” 

Whatever poor piece of literature you’d thrown at him was easily dodged, landing harmlessly behind the desk. “You can’t throw books at me, I’m injured.”

“You can’t throw insults at me, so am I!” you folded your arms, managing to keep his little devious smirk from cracking the defences in your expression. No, you will absolutely not let him get away with this! 

“Yeah, you will.”

“Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?” you challenged, your expression still masked hard. Though as the moments lingered on and he kept looking at you like that, your resolve started to waver. “Fuck’s sake, I’m worse than Erwin and he let you get away with literal murder.” 

“Speaking of which, how didn’t I know you two were old friends?” he asked, finally tucking his shirt back in and retrieving the black jacket you’d all but thrown to the floor, dusting it off with a barely veiled look of disdain. 

“Likely because we barely talk as old friends anymore. He got caught up in being a Commander and I got caught up in wrangling you,” Levi raised a suggestive brow, pulling a laugh from your chest. “I didn’t mean it like that, but yes that as well. I meant in a ‘making sure you actually became a soldier and figuratively beating the shit out of anyone who called you a rat’ kind of way.”

Levi’s eyes widened slightly. He didn’t know you’d done that for him. You rolled your eyes, now trying to play it off. “Don’t let it get to your head. I almost fought my best friend the day we all met Isabel because she called her a criminal or some shit,” you couldn’t escape the slight blush in your cheeks. Yes, you’d done it in Isabel’s memory somewhat, but you’d also done it because you’d taken a liking to him from quite early on. 

“I remember that…” it was the first time he’d bore witness to your fight. To a fire he’d now sworn to never let dwindle, and to protect at all costs. “Still, in all the years I’ve known Erwin, he’s not once mentioned you.”

“Guess he’s just as rude as you are then.” You had seen the opportunity and seized it with both hands, smirking slightly at his resulting scoff. “I think I might know why, though.”

Levi perked up slightly. “Oh?”

“That same evening after I met you and fought with Nana, we had a conversation. Erwin and I. We both knew he would likely be made Commander soon, meaning his squad would be left captainless,” Levi listened silently. He’d never heard you speak about the day he first met you, having not even discussed the tea you shared that day. “He told me I should take the offer to be made captain. I told him that I couldn’t.”

He didn’t know for sure, but Levi could hazard a guess. You’d lost faith in your abilities after what happened to Ilse.

“I don’t think he took it very well. He seemed kinda disappointed. But after that he was made Commander pretty quickly and yeah, that was that.” You didn’t particularly want to go into any more detail than that. Dragging up old, suppressed memories now wasn’t exactly a good idea, considering your current unstable mental state. Levi could see for himself if he wanted to, you’d already given him permission to see any memories he may deem necessary to understand you more as a person.  

“I see,” was all he could say in response. Pressing with further questions didn’t seem like a good idea, and the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel any more uncomfortable with the conversation. 

“So yeah, that’s about it. He was Captain of my squad, asked me to take over, I refused, you took the position instead.”

…Well he didn’t know that.

“Sorta why I’ve been indebted to you from the beginning. If you hadn’t shown up with your crazy abilities and shitty attitude I probably wouldn’t be here now.” You smiled, though it didn’t take a detective to see the slight pain behind it. Whatever that meant, he didn’t want to know, but with the bond being what it was, it didn’t seem like him joining the Scouts was a decision he made at all. But rather something else blessed by fate. Not that he was much of a believer in that kind of thing. 

“You owe me nothing.”

“Well I know that now, yeah.”

“You owed me nothing back then, too.”

The room was silent for a moment, before you shattered it with a soft sigh. “I wish this had happened sooner. Between us, I mean.”

Levi crossed over to where you were leaning on the very same bookshelf you’d chucked a book from, once again taking you effortlessly into his embrace. He had the same thoughts so often. He wished he could have told you years ago. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight between you two, but he savoured his memories of the rocky start. The biting insults soon turned playful. The cleaning punishment morphing into shared time together. Though he wished he’d had you sooner, he wouldn’t trade watching you flounder around Eld for all the romance novels in the world. 

You drew back, clearly having heard what he was thinking. “Really?

“It was pretty damn funny watching the two of you.”

Your forehead fell against his shoulder as you let out a long groan of embarrassment. “Fuck’s sake, even Erwin saw that.”

“He spoke to you about it?”

“Yeah, on the expedition. He wanted to extend his congratulations to us, which I thought was kinda nice of him, though he had a few other things to say….”

Levi looked at you, his eyes hard. “I assume he warded you away from me?”

“Not exactly. It was nicer than that, actually. He just told me to be careful.” you recalled the conversation in your head, sending snippets of visuals down the bond. Levi nodded, entertaining the image of you and Erwin by the campfire, having a surprisingly deep conversation, considering the circumstances. Though you left out the part where he told you not to hurt him. You were already afraid of doing that, but Levi didn’t need to know.

It must have been fate listening in, that there was a knock on the door just at this moment. You both looked at each other, the rapping sound breaking you both out of the little domestic bubble you so often found yourselves in nowadays. In a moment, you’d lifted a spare chair from the corner up to the desk to avoid the noise of dragging it along the wooden floorboards, and Levi had sat himself down, hunching over so it looked as if you were both completely caught up in paperwork. 

“Come in.” he’d managed to morph his voice so it sounded mundane, as if he’d been doing this for hours. You couldn’t help but admire the adaptability. You guess you really weren’t the only chameleon in the room.

Moments after, a brown haired messenger announced themselves, opening the door with surprising flamboyance. “Captain Levi, Sir! Commander Erwin has asked for you, Sir! He wants to meet with you immediately, Sir!” 

If you had taken a shot for everytime this guy had said sir you’d be well on your way to a good night out. However, there wasn’t time for things like that right now.

“Alright, I hear you. Dismissed.”

You snorted at the overenthusiastic salute the cadet made, before marching off to the left. He couldn’t have been any older than seventeen, poor kid. 

Levi stood with a sigh, clearly not thrilled about the idea of a meeting, but you both knew what it was likely going to be about. You guessed neither of you had confirmed you’d go along with Hange. 

“Guess you’ve been summoned,” you raised a brow as he walked around the desk, watching his hard expression set. You stood, catching him before he walked off and pressing your thumb in the crease between his brows, smoothing the tension from his face. “You can’t get this grumpy every time you’re called away.”

Levi huffed, though appreciating the attempt you made to caress away his stress. “When we don’t have a lot of time together anyway, I think I'm perfectly entitled to get this grumpy when it’s cut short.”

You grinned, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Can’t argue with that. Make sure you let him know, hm?”

He rolled his eyes, though a smile still pulled at his lips. He masked it by moulding them into yours. “See you later.” He murmured, giving your arm a quick squeeze before he headed out the door. You hated how much you missed his presence when he was gone. 

The pendulum clock on the wall ticked by for all of five minutes before a lead balloon of dread sank into the depths of your stomach. His voice was instantly in your head.

–What? What’s wrong? You alright?–

–Levi…?–

–What?!–

–Your neck.–

Silence. You didn’t hear anything for what felt like an eternity, before his single word response had you cackling.

–Fuck.–

When the blanket of night settled over the world and a slight chill blew in the wind, you hugged your jacket closer around your shoulders, trying to stave the cold from getting to your bones. Though you’d healed fairly well, your leg still sang a melancholy song of pain with each step you took, earning yourself a slight limp. Your other wounds had healed nicely, slices closing up from your brow to your stomach. It was only really your leg that posed a problem now, though you’d been left with some pretty heft scars. Nothing new.

Walking through the courtyard, soldiers were busying themselves with packing supplies, crates of metal canisters, spare blades, boxes of field rations all being loaded onto various carts. You’d hidden it from Levi, but you intended to go with the group to search the wall. Orders be damned, you weren’t about to sit back and let everyone else do the work for you. You were physically incapable of doing that, and you also knew Levi would overestimate your ability to put sensibility above recklessness. Besides, you weren’t exactly lying…

You just hadn’t admitted the entire truth to him yet. Though it still weighed on you as a betrayal of his trust. Plus it actively drained you to hide things in your mind from him, which you guess made sense. It went against everything the bond was about.

Being caught up in thought, you didn’t see a blonde boy crossing paths with you from the right, almost crashing straight into him. It was only because you heard Eren’s voice and looked up because of it did you manage to stop the collision. 

“Shit, sorry kid, you alright?” you asked, looking back to see where he could have possibly come from. 

“Ah, yeah, I-I’m okay! Sorry, wasn’t looking where I was going,” he explained sheepishly, and you couldn't help but notice a weird resemblance to Erwin. Though this kid’s hair was longer, they had the same star-seeing eyes. 

“Nah, you’re good. Totally my fault, though you looked as deep in thought as I was. Something on your mind?” you don’t really know what prompted you to ask, but he just looked so troubled, you couldn’t help yourself.

“O-oh! No it’s nothing. Just… thinking about the Titan in the walls… and how he got there.” 

You let your mind run for a bit, before finally, realising who the kid was. Were you getting slow in your old age? 

Nah, that can’t be right. You weren’t that old for fuck’s sake.

“Ahh, you must be Armin, right? Eren’s friend?” you asked, earning yourself a look of surprise. “Vice Captain of the Levi Squad, looks like I’ll be riding with you guys.” In an instant, Armin’s fist thumped against his chest in a salute of respect.

“Ma’am! I wasn’t certain at first, but I thought it might have been you. It’s a pleasure to meet you,”

You waved off the salute, unable to help feeling as though you don’t deserve such a show of respect. Your squadmates were dead, afterall, you thought bitterly. “You’re fine, put that away, it’s not meant for me. You’re the one who had the theory about Annie, right?” You asked, now walking alongside the kid to where his friends were already in the cart. 

“Uh, sort of. It was really Commander Erwin and Section Commander Hange, I just suggested who it could be, it wasn’t–”

“Thank you, Armin. I los–” you stopped yourself. This poor kid didn’t need to hear about who you lost to that monster. “A lot of good soldiers died because of her. You helped us take a huge step in this fight for humanity,” Keeping your voice steady despite wanting to scream inside was something you’d become very good at, likely since losing Ilse. “We owe a lot to you and your friends.”

“Haha, Mikasa and Eren did most of the heavy lifting, I just helped with figuring it out.”

He clearly wasn’t used to giving himself credit. If Levi were here, he’d say something stupid like–

–Doesn’t give himself enough credit huh? Sound familiar?–

You huffed, setting your jaw. How did he always know?

–I have no idea what you’re talking about– you bit back defensively. –No it does not sound familiar, thank you very much. And shouldn’t you be concentrating?–

Warm laughter filled your head, and you couldn’t help but let it consume you, thawing your frozen bones. 

–Meeting’s finished. It was about what we thought. Coming up with Nick now. Just waiting on Hange.–

–You only talk in short sentences now? We’re not out in the field, we can talk in full sentences here–

You could hear him sigh almost in disappointment. A terrible dread obscured your thoughts. Did he know already? If he already knew, then this was about to be an awful conversation.

–You know, you’re not subtle. And I’m not stupid.–

–...Levi…–

–You know you can tell me these things, right?–

You muttered various curses, causing the poor young blond walking next to you to cast you a worried look. Shit. “Oh, no not you Armin. Just… remembering something. Don’t worry.”

“Oh… I see…” he responded awkwardly, clearly not knowing what else to say. It didn’t matter to you at the moment. Levi knew of your intentions to accompany the party to the walls, and also knew you’d kept it from him. 

–I… yeah, I know. I just, I knew you would try to stop me. I know it’s not the smartest thing to do in my condition, and I know my orders, but I just… I can’t just sit and let everyone do everything around me. I can’t just stay out of it… you know that.– you confessed. Though you were surprised he was so accepting about it. Honestly you were kind of expecting him to go all protective Levi mode and start trying to talk you out of it.

–The fuck are you talking about? And what do you mean by ‘protective Levi mode’???–

Oh. 

Shit.

–Wait. Was this not what you were talking about…?–

–...No.–

–Fuck.–

–Fuck indeed. We don’t have the time to talk about this now.–

–’Vi, I– –

–No. Later.–

Well fuck. That wasn’t exactly the best outcome. What the fuck could he possibly have been talking about if not that? Had he asked Erwin anything? Had he asked–

Then it hit you, a memory that didn’t belong to you.

“You spoke to her. Around the campfire that night. What did you say?” Levi asked, almost unable to look up from the floor. He was on his way out before Erwin called after him, just to wish him congratulations. It had been unexpected, but not unwelcome. But now he couldn’t even look at the man.

“Nothing of importance. Just congratulating her as well. And warning her from hurting you in any way,” he chuckled as if it were simply something trivial. “I know you’re strong, Levi, but I need you focused. Heartbreak doesn’t do much for a soldier’s motivation.” 

“You know you can just say you were looking out for me, no need for this whole charade,” He rolled his eyes, finally recovering after getting slapped in the face yet again by the realisation that people cared for him. “What did she say in return?”

Erwin sighed, lacing his fingers in front of his nose in thought. “That it was one of her greatest fears, hurting you. And knowing you, you likely have the same thought, no?”

Levi tensed his jaw. He knew hurting each other was a fear within your relationship, considering recent events, but he didn’t know it was your greatest fear. Why hadn’t you told him? You’d told him everything else… right? He was snapped out of his thoughts by Erwin, clearing his throat. 

“I see, I thought she would have told you. I apologise.”

That was all you saw, though it was enough. Not that you could register anything right now. You had so much going on. Too much going on, you couldn’t help but wonder how Eren coped with it all. The future of humanity used to lie on the shoulders of you, your squad and your Captain. Now you’d been unburdened with that demand, though it had been placed onto a child. How the fuck was that fair? And with the breach in Wall Rose, you were so sick of things going wrong it was starting to drive you up the fucking Walls. And now Levi knew you wanted to head out on the expedition later this evening. And from what you could tell, which was a lot, he didn’t seem too happy about it. Fuck this day.

You’d deal with it later. If Levi didn’t want to talk about it now, then you could certainly hold off. Nothing was about to change your mind, and you were content in your decision. You would go on the expedition and deal with the consequences when you came back. To hell with him.

“Great, what the hell does this mean?” 

You were snapped out of your thoughts by Eren already in the wagon, loading up ODM gear and gas canisters. You felt for the kid. He’d only just discovered what he was and already so much had happened since. Barely having time to recover from the fight against Annie and now all his friends had to be sent away in case any more of them were fucking Titans?  

“I don’t know… but they’re Titans, right? Would they seriously break through the Wall with Titans in it?” It was a good question, you had to admit. Armin’s mind was nearly as sharp as Hange’s, if only the kid had more self confidence, he could definitely gun for Commander in the next decade or so, providing he survived that long. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time, right? They did it before.”

It took you a moment to leap onto Armin’s trail of thought, but once you were there, you understood perfectly. “No, they didn’t. That was a gate. They busted through the gate, not the wall.” 

“Exactly, the Walls are different. They don’t have a single crack in them, no weak points other than the gates.” Walls this kid was smart. “There’s no signs of stress, and even stranger, there’s no way of knowing how they were built. They’re just solid walls of stone. No bricks, no nothing.”

“No nothing except Titans…” you knew where he was going with this.

“Armin, Lieutenant… what are you saying?” You couldn’t help but compare this situation to when you and Hange would be brainstorming and Levi would have no idea what you were talking about. Poor Mikasa.

“Suppose… suppose the Walls were made of the same stuff as Annie’s Titan crystal?” Armin posed.

You chewed on the suggestion for a moment. “She used that to cover her nape, right? And she trapped herself in it, so we know it’s versatile,”

“And it’s virtually indestructible, our blades breaking instantly upon impact…” 

Stepping up into the wagon, you held your hand out to help Armin up, taking a seat opposite Eren, who looked utterly horrified.

“So… the Walls are made of Titans? Is that what you’re saying?” He asked, looking down at his own hands as if they were about to catch aflame. 

“It’s just a theory at the moment, but–”

“It’s a solid one. We need to talk to Hange, and if there really is a breach in the Wall…”

The wagon jostled as you were moved into formation, but being so lost in thought you barely noticed. What the hell did this mean for humanity? Being protected by the very things that were trying to annihilate you all. And what would happen if the sun did hit them? What did Pastor Nick know that the rest of you were clueless about? And how was it that some preacher of the Walls knew? There were too many unknowns, it made you uneasy. 

You vaguely registered Mikasa wrapping her cloak around Eren, muttering something about him getting cold. It was sweet, you thought, though it brought you back to the various things you didn’t know about your own bond, wondering if Mikasa knew that’s what had happened between her and Eren, given that it had actually happened, of course. But you’d heard about her uncanny sense whenever Eren was in danger, and thought back to how Levi had the same sense about you. You hoped, for her sake, Eren would realise one day. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting! Didn’t think it would take so long to prepare.” 

You stole your nerves to look their way, though you barely registered Hange’s cheerful wave over Levi’s glare of thunder. At least his heartbeat wasn’t out of sync with yours. So this could be fixed… right? 

The wood creaked in protest as an additional three bodies crammed into the space, you shuffled up as much as you could, your body pressing against the side board as Levi took a seat next to you. You longed to press your face into his neck, but at the same time, you wanted to do anything but that. Joy, more conflicting feelings. 

“But… but he’s a priest from the Order of the Walls… Why is he–”

“I know! Nick and I are inseparable now! It’s alright, makes sense he’s here, just like the rest of us. We’re all rather random.”

It was strange for Hange to make assumptions this way. Ths group was anything but random. “No. The opposite. Erwin’s thrown us together for a reason.” Though what those reasons were, Levi couldn’t hazard a guess. The man’s motives were always mysterious until the final moments, when all would be revealed. It was an irritating habit. 

He needed to talk to you, finally realising what your intentions were, he couldn’t let you do this. You were still badly injured, and though you were recovering well, he knew your wounds were deeper than those surface level scratches. And if your stitches blew out in the field, you were dead. That was it. He couldn’t even believe you were considering this, let alone having made up your mind. It was stupid. Reckless. And downright selfish of you. 

“The condition of Wall Rose is currently unknown, but everything up to Erhmich district is safe. That’s the path we’ll be taking. Move out!” Erwin’s voice boomed from the front of the formation, loud enough that you were certain the entirety of Trost would have heard the announcement of departure. 

You stayed completely silent, debating more than ever what your next moves should be. How had things gone so damn badly? How had everything turned to shit so fucking quickly? It only felt like yesterday you were playing strip poker with your squad and now they were all fucking dead, two kids can turn into Titans and there was another fucking breach. You sighed, teeth gnawing at any loose bit of skin they could find on your lips. A habit you hadn’t indulged in a while. 

“You heard him. Get going.” It was a weak hope that speaking up so suddenly would get you to stop tearing apart your lower lip, his own stinging with each pull. You bit down a little too hard as the wagon jostled to life, and Levi almost winced with the sharp hurt. You, on the other hand, didn’t look too bothered by it, taking the opportunity to suck on the blood like some little fucked up vampire. If he wasn’t furious with you right now, he would have taken your hand into his own, current company be damned. 

He loosened a breath. Being angry with you was foreign and unknown and downright awful. He wanted to talk to you, to somehow ease the worries in your head, but he had no idea how to start a conversation with you at the moment. Not that he was ever very good with his words. Putting his opinions aside, Levi dropped his hand to brush against your arm.

Though when you flinched slightly, he wished lightning would strike him where he sat. You still refused to look at him, but he didn’t need to see your face to know you were radiating some kind of guilty resolve. You did nothing but continue to bite your lip, your fingers now tearing at your cuticles. He hadn’t seen you this stressed since you walked into his office and announced his squad would be helping Hange on their capture mission. Fuck that seemed like years ago now. 

“Well I should probably explain what we know from our friend Nick here,” Hange began, clasping a firm, almost threatening arm around the man’s shoulders. “You see, it was Nick who told us to cover the Titan in the Wall, assuming it would move should sunlight hit it. Just how he knew this, we have yet to find out.” With a quick glance to the opposite three in the wagon, you could tell they were just as baffled as you all were. 

“Wait wait wait, back up, this guy knew?! He knew and he said nothing!?” Eren exclaimed, leaning forward to almost throttle the man. 

“Uh huh, ‘friad so. And unfortunately, that’s about all he’s said. But, we all know now, of course. He doesn’t wanna talk quite yet, but that’s likely to change with a harsh dose of reality. It’s his faith keeping him quiet, but first hand experience though, we–”

“To hell with that!” 

You almost jumped at Eren’s shouting, standing and slamming his hands down on the table separating the two sides. Though if you were being honest, you missed the fighting talk from the kid.  “If this son-of-a-bitch knows something, he needs to come out with it! We’re on the brink of extinction and he’s deciding to keep quiet about what he knows? Caring only about keeping some stupid oath?!” Eren’s tone only rose with each point he made, stopping only due to what you assumed was his exhaustion spiking a sudden headache. A hand braced against the side of his head, Mikasa guided him to sit back down. 

“Take it easy Eren, you still haven’t fully recovered.” Oh she was so in love with him. It actually made you smile slightly, though it was short lived. Nothing lasts forever in the Scouts. 

Your chest constricted at the thought, and you glanced down to see Levi’s balled fist. 

And if you weren’t so busy wondering what the fuck you should do, you would have found him pulling a gun ridiculously attractive. What was wrong with you?

“There’s more than one way to get people to talk. Sure, I’m not exactly in top shape right now, but I know it doesn’t take much strength to pull a trigger. Having said that, I genuinely hope I won’t have to blow a hole in you to settle this. How ‘bout you?”

You once again cursed your current situation for not reacting after he’d just said maybe the single hottest thing you’d ever heard come from his mouth. If you weren’t in such emotional turmoil, you definitely would have started teasing him in front of everyone. 

But you were drained, and any will you had to do so had drained also.

A brief silence settled in the wagon as everyone remembered that, sure he wasn’t on active duty right now, but they were still sitting in the presence of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, and it was still intimidating. 

Well, everyone except for Hange.

“Threatening him doesn’t work, Levi. I went to throw him off the top of Wall Sina. So trust me on that. And whether you agree with him or not, Nick here is a man of principle. Which has gotta make you think, if he’s so unwilling to talk, what in heaven’s name is he putting above the fate of humanity?”

Now that placed a blanket of silence over the wagon. Because it was one hell of a good question. What was he holding above the fate of the human race? What did he deem more important than humanity’s future? 

With the conversation coming to a halt, you tilted your head back to the moonlit canopy overhead, rogue embers floating within the leaves without a care in the world. You wonder if they knew their life was short. If you knew they had these last few seconds of freedom before they faded to nothing, returning to whatever elements they were composed of. But isn’t that all anything was? A brief interval from the void of non-existence? You suddenly envied those embers. They’d never experienced grief, or heartbreak, or loss in any way. They burned, and they burned beautifully until their inevitable end. Which is all anyone could strive to do, you thought. Burn beautifully. 

Despite the morbid nature of your thought trail, you smiled. Because you knew everyone around you was doing just that. Burning beautifully. 

Levi had taken a whistlestop tour into your mind for a split second, just to see how you were holding up. What he wasn’t expecting, however, was for you to be having philosophical revelations over fire. At least you weren’t thinking about the mission he wasn’t about to let you go on. He’d take philosophy over that any day of the week. 

Though his own tired head thought otherwise. Too much had happened to be entertaining your thoughts, so he returned to his own, only now noticing Hange staring unblinkingly at a rock. It was unusual for them to be doing unusual things, but at least it was a distraction from whatever the fuck was going on with you.

“Hey Four Eyes,” –He leaned forward slightly, looking past Nick to Hange still staring at the rock– “since when did you take an interest in geology? Or is your life so boring even rocks have become fascinating, looks like you’re about to drool.” 

Hange looked up, as if they’d just been dragged from a good book. “Hm? Oh, this? It’s not a rock. At least, not an ordinary one. It’s a hardened piece of skin, left behind by the Female Titan.”

That caught your attention. Snapping out of your thoughts, you too turned to look at Hange, your expression mirroring Armin’s as he gasped slightly. “Wait, it didn’t vanish?” He asked, eyes wide with what you could only just discern as shocked intrigue. 

“No! It broke off when she reverted back to her human form. It didn’t evaporate… didn’t simply go poof,” Their enthusiasm for the conversation only increased tenfold, and you could tell as soon as they started to use onomatopoeias. “Which got me thinking… and when I compared it with a piece from the Wall, its texture and molecular structure were, for all intents and purposes, virtually identical. So basically speaking–”

“We’re being protected by the very things that are trying to devour us, only ten times bigger than average.” You finished, glancing between Armin and Hange. You’d already had a conversation like this with the blond, but now at least you knew Hange had the same theory. 

“Exactly, and if my hypothesis is correct, the Walls were constructed using consolidated Titan skin.” Hange confirmed, to the disgusted horror of the opposite three. 

“You’re kidding… that’s what Armin and the Lieutenant were just talking about.” Mikasa observed, wide eyed. But she wasn’t wrong. That was exactly what you and Armin were discussing. Honestly, not to be condescending to the girl, but you were impressed she was following.

Armin once again gasped, shooting forward in his seat. “So then–” he began, only to be rudely cut off by Hange’s hand to his face.

Unfortunately for them, you’d just had exactly the same revelation. You borderline launched across Levi, slamming your hand down on the table. “You want to–” 

However, you too received a Hange hand to the face.

“Easy there you two, it’s rude to steal somebody else’s thunder dontcha know. As it stands, we’d be hard pressed to find a rock large enough to seal Wall Rose again. It would have to be just the right shape and size, and we don’t have specifics yet,” 

You fought to free yourself from Hange’s grip, desperate to contribute to the solution and listening to Armin frantically try and talk through their other palm.

“On the other hand, where there’s a will, there’s a way. Just picture it, Eren using his own hardening ability whilst in Titan form!” They revealed, finally releasing both you and the blond from their hands. You shook your head slightly, instantly wiping your face because heaven knows where Hange’s hands had been. 

Frowning, you slouched back in your seat, folding your arms. You thought of that too. 

“Then I could… patch the hole.” Eren came to the realisation much slower than you and Armin, though you guessed, since this actually concerned him and it was all incredibly new for him, he had other things to think about. 

“The sealant should be composed of the same material, and, like with Annie’s crystal, it shouldn’t disappear once you revert to human. This might be less of a long shot than it sounds. Whaddya think?”

If Levi was given a coin for every time you and Hange got carried away in conversation to the point where he could no longer follow, he could retire within the next year. However with this boy genius now added to the mix, he realised where this was going only a few moments before Eren did. Though your pouting did almost make him laugh. He knew you would have wanted to jump in, because he knew you would have been right there with Hange’s theory. He knew you were smart enough. And he hoped that was good enough for you.

“The greater the risk, the greater the reward,” You leaned forward again, clearly having gotten over your petulance.

“And if we can patch up Wall Rose… then Wall Maria starts to look fairly promising. And vital though it is, the outposts infrastructure slows us down to a crawl,” Armin continued, and Levi couldn’t help but find it a little weird how he was now finishing your sentences.

“The time and resources needed to transport materials are immense,” and vice versa, he discovered as soon as you took off from where he left. This was getting ridiculous. 

“But… if we can nullify the necessity for supply wagons, we could get to Shiganshina much faster… And what if we decided to carry out the plan at the dead of night?!” Armin posed, stony determination written on his face. You couldn’t help but smile slightly, having found yourself on the exact same wavelength.

“Night?” It was Hange now who was having trouble keeping up, and though you felt the urge to explain, they had a point earlier. Stealing somebody else’s thunder was rude, and you realised Armin needed all the confidence boosts he could get.

“Yes! When the Titans are more or less motionless!” He finished, clearly waiting with some kind of validation on his theoretical plan.

“Huh… that’s not bad. In fact, it’s genius, particularly if the group is small enough to slip on by undetected.” –Hange looked back down at the small crystal in their hand– “The straits we’re in are about as dire as they come, but this could turn the tides completely.” 

“We have to bear in mind though, this entire plan hinges on whether or not Eren can seal the hole again.” You really did hate to be the one to throw a bucket of cold water on the atmosphere, especially when you saw Armin’s proud smile falter slightly, but he knew as well as you did it was a good point.

Hange looked across to Eren, who you could see was visibly sweating despite the slight chill of the night. “It’s probably unfair of me to even ask but… do you think you can?” They asked, brows pinching in slight sheepish guilt. 

The wagon once again fell silent as all eyes fell to the teen who wasn’t looking at any of you. Once again, you could tell he was feeling the weight of the future on his shoulders, and your heart constricted for him. Ever since that night after you’d almost killed him, when he’d accidentally turned Titan and scared the ever loving shit out of you and your squad, you’d found a new respect for him. Having now understood the burdens of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, you could only imagine what Eren was going through. 

“What he thinks really isn’t the problem here,” Levi finally found his voice, having been in complete awe of you and the way your mind worked. “You either will, or you won’t. That’s the reality of the situation. Our comrades are breaking their backs, but without you, it’s pointless. Failure here isn’t an option.”

You knew he was right. You knew he was just adding gravity where the rest of you had lost it, bringing the conversation back down to earth, but did he really have to be so stern? So pressuring?

–I think he knows how important this is. Stop adding unnecessary weight.– You couldn’t help yourself, a weird kind of protective nature coming over you. You saw out of your peripheral his hands balling into fists.

–So now you wanna talk?–

–You were the one who shut down the conversation, not me. I was just doing what you asked.– 

Levi’s frustrated sigh blew about your head, before the tension was broken by Eren’s desperate enthusiasm to prove himself. “Sir! I know, and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes… that’s a promise.”

There and then, you could see just how heavy his memories were. You understood his guilt because you understood Levi’s guilt. You knew he felt every single life lost around him, because he was supposed to be strong enough to move forward. He was supposed to be strong enough to protect people, to take the hits when nobody else could. 

“My father’s cellar…” You tilted your head to one side, willing to put your current feud away and glance at Levi, who glanced back at you, before you both looked back at Eren, awaiting an explanation. “That’s… that’s where the answers are. If there was even a grain of truth in what he told me, everything depends on us making it there.” 

You didn’t have time to wonder what the hell that meant, before Hange announced your location; “Well, here’s Ermich.” 

Nerves bubbled in your gut, this being the place where you knew you were about to have the biggest argument in your relationship. You felt Levi tense next to you, knowing he was thinking the same thing. But neither of you were backing out of this, that much was clear. 

Hopping out of the wagon, you chose to ignore the slight bite in your thigh from your injuries, taking a moment to stretch out your back. You noticed Levi had already set off with Nick, and though you weren’t alone with Hange, you were still going to take this opportunity to talk with them. “Hey, Hans?”

Once again, like a breath of fresh air, Hange beamed at you, despite the previous conversation in the wagon. “What’s up? The atmosphere there was kinda frosty for a second huh? That Armin kid though… he’s pretty damn smart, and to come up with a plan for Shiganshina so quickly… I reckon he’d make a pretty great Commander one day.” They started off on their own conversation as the two of you made your way through Ermich district. 

“Yeah, we’d had a brief conversation before the journey about the Walls and the Titans inside and such, we pretty much came to the same conclusion.” You defended stiffly, only to Hange’s delight. 

“Awww, jealous I got there before you? Sorry sunshine, only a few have brains like these!” They skipped, and you genuinely couldn’t understand how their demeanour could shift so quickly and so dramatically. Though, you remembered a time where Levi said that about you, how you could shift your personality from casual to professional in the blink of an eye. 

You grit your teeth. Thinking about him hurt.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. I just wanted to let ya know that I’ll likely be joining you on the mission.” You tried to mention it as nonchalantly as you possibly could, but no amount of casualness could have warned them of that. 

Hange stopped in their tracks. “Aren’t you supposed to be off active duty for the time being?”

“I can stand, can I not? And I’m walking, am I not? I don’t have a good reason to be resting.” You defended adamantly. You knew this was exactly what Levi was going to say as well, so you’d already come up with arguments.

“Does Levi know?” They asked softly, and when you didn’t respond, Hange placed a hand on your shoulder. “I was wondering what had happened between you two, things seemed different in the wagon than they were this morning. Don’t solidify anything yet. Wait until you talk with him. I’d say we have roughly half an hour turnover. If you’re still set after talking to him, I’d be happy for the help.”

“You know, he doesn’t make my decisions for me.” You tried to keep the venom from your voice, but failed miserably. Hange knew, of course. They knew this wasn’t coming from a place of rage or anger with them.

“He’s your Captain. He technically does.”

“My Captain, huh? Of what squad, Hange?” It was a brutal blow, and had it been anyone else you were talking to, you know they would have walked away by now, either your glare or the toxicity in your tone causing them to leave. However, this was Hange. Hange who knew both yourself and Levi, sometimes better than you knew each other. Hange, who knew grief just as well as you did, and still managed to do everything they could. Hange, who also had friends out there in the field right now, and who hadn’t heard from them in hours, and didn’t know if they were still alive. 

They squeezed their calming hand on your shoulder. “Speak to Levi first, as a favour to me.” 

You sighed, feeling the tension sapping from your spine, knowing they were right. “Fine, but I’ve made up my mind.” 

Hange smiled in understanding, continuing on their path with you by their side. “I know you have, but if you sneak out and Levi knows I knew, I won’t live to see the sunrise.” 

Huffing a chuckle, you nodded in agreement. That was likely true, unfortunately for the both of you. Glancing back, you watched the three behind you for a brief moment. Watched as Mikasa tried to wrap Eren’s cloak back around his shoulders, to the teen’s dismay, whilst Armin tried to calm the two of them down and stop their bickering. It was a sickening reminder that, after everything, they were still just kids. 

“It’s sad. Not only was their childhood cut short, but now they hold the weight of the future on their shoulders. Eren specifically, but you can see it on Armin and Mikasa too. The way they care so much for him, but he feels the need to do everything alone. It’s so lonely.” You thought aloud, cracking your neck to the side.

“You sound like you're speaking from experience.” Hange observed, glancing down to you with an eye raised.

“Not quite. But I know how it is for Levi. I know that, even given the chance to, he would rather die than pass his title on to somebody else. Not for any sort of pride reasons, but because he wouldn’t want that burden to befall another soul. He carries it because he knows it’s necessary to do so, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy.” It was a losing battle, keeping your frustration from bubbling to the surface. On the outside, it just seemed like you were explaining something not many people would have an insight into. On the inside, however…

You wanted to scream.

Despite the morbid display in front of him, hundreds upon hundreds of people having lost their homes due to the recent breach, Levi couldn’t help but listen to your conversation with Hange. To be understood on such a fundamental level was still incredibly new for him, so to hear your voice exactly how he felt a majority of the time…

It solidified his need to stop you from going on this mission. 

“You know him well, huh?” This was a side to Hange you didn’t see very often. The softer, more sentimental side to the ‘mad scientist’ everyone knew. It was part of the reason you liked them so much. 

“And you know why, so you don’t need to act clueless.” Once again you came incredibly close to telling them everything, but you held off. Despite there being a small rift between the two of you at the moment, you knew that was something you needed to discuss with Levi. 

You both climbed the steps into the barracks, hearing Eren, Mikasa and Armin still behind you.

“Hey Eren!” Hange gestured for the teen to join them, and so you took a step back, allowing them to have their conversation without interference. “Once we leave Ermich, we’ll be in Titan territory for sure.”

“Think you’re well enough to ride a horse yet?” 

You’d almost completely forgotten Moblit was on this expedition, considering he didn’t ride with you in the wagon. It was only now did you see Hange relax slightly, having not even noticed they were slightly tense. You half smiled with the realisation. 

And it was now you really missed being on good terms with your partner. Because you knew he would have had something to say about that.

“Yeah, it shouldn't be too much of a problem.” Eren responded, though he sounded exhausted. 

“Saddle up then soldier, there’s one waiting for you on the left lift.” You thought a lot about the shift you and Hange could perform between professional and casual, though you’d never considered how different Moblit was behind closed doors. You guessed, when he didn’t have the pressure of being Hange’s right hand man, he could well and truly relax. 

Though the only visual indication you had was Hange’s widening eyes, you’d already felt Levi’s growing presence behind you. You turned, seeing almost exactly what you predicted, only Nick looked more remorseful than he did in your mind’s eye. You couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

“Section Commander, we’re pressed for time!” Moblit called out as Hange jogged back past you.

“Gimme a second will ya?” They called back, before addressing Nick. “So, you seen the light yet by any chance?” 

If you took a shot for every time silence had settled it’s blanket over your group today, you’d likely be in the medical wing. The air was charged as you all waited for Nick’s response, before realising he was going to hold his tongue. And finally, finally, Hange had enough. “Goddamnit! This isn’t some fucked up spiritual test, real human lives are on the line here so make up your mind!” 

And for the first time since he sat his holy ass on that cart, Nick spoke; “Alas, I have no choice. None of us, not myself nor the others who believe are at liberty to divulge the truth.”

Ooo did you want to punch his teeth in. You knuckled itched to be thrust through his jaw.

“Well fat lot of you help you were! Thanks ever so much for keeping us company, it’s been a fucking joy!” It took all of your willpower to, despite your situation, stifle your laughter at their sarcastic rage as they abruptly turned on their heels and started to stomp away.

“I would offer my help if I could, but a duty as great as this one is beyond me. The Order of the Walls abides by the sacred will our faith commands us to obey.” He seemed so solemn you almost pitied the man. Almost.

“Who’s sacred will? You mean like God or something?” Hange questioned with no small degree of snark.

“I can’t answer that.” God fucking damnit! “But… what I can do is provide you with a name. An individual the sacred will and it’s divine wisdom instructed us to monitor.”

You couldn’t tell if he was using way too many words in sentences deliberately, or whether or not that was seriously the title they gave the head of their religion. “Monitor?” You asked aloud, glancing at Hange who nodded in approval. That was clearly their next question.

Nick sighed before continuing on. “It’s a person you know. Someone who enlisted in the Scout Regiment as of this year. A child by the name of–”

“Important message!” The pastor was drowned out by the arrival of a messenger loudly announcing her presence. She didn’t even stop to knock or read the room, just barged straight in with her agenda. But that didn’t stop you or your companions to hear the name he’d just uttered. Christa Lenz.  “I’m with the 104th Cadet Corps. Oh and my name is Sasha Braus!” 

You blinked in surprise, finally turning your head to look at the girl. You still didn’t really know the 104th that well, only really being well acquainted with Eren, for obvious reasons. But you knew of Sasha, and you’d heard her speak before. However the accent you’d previously noticed seemed to have vanished into thin air. Interesting. 

“No way…”

“Wait, who?”

Sasha strode up to Hange, scroll in hand. “This is for you, Section Commander.” Though she was completely ignored, the room’s attention now being completely on the Pastor. 

“You must find her with all haste. She is the key. She may know things we understand, but poorly.” You glanced to Hange, who mirrored your look. Who the fuck was this girl, and more importantly, who was she to Eren, Armin and Mikasa for them to be so floored by this? “And with that, we come to the end of what I am free to share with you. The rest I leave in your capable hands.” 

“Wait, if she’s in the 104th… she’d be on the front lines by now.” You realised, wide eyes flicking between Hange and Nick. 

“Then let’s go! We’re already pressed for time, we don’t have any to lo–” Though you admired Eren for his gung-ho attitude, you admired him less when he didn’t look where he was going and ran straight into poor Sasha who had been waiting incredibly patiently with her scroll, sending her crashing to the ground. 

“Watch where you’re going!” Hange called out, the room’s attention shifting to the poor girl on the floor. 

“Sasha?!”

“Just where did you come from all of a sudden?” Mikasa asked, and you couldn’t help but raise a brow. Had nobody else heard the girl enter? Seriously? 

Once again you wished you could talk to Levi about this, but he’d been silent in your head since the wagon. You kept your sigh internal. 

As if remembering she was here for a purpose and not just to lie on the floor, Sasha gasped, snatching up the parchment that had fallen from her hands and barrelling through her three friends toward Hange. “I was sent to deliver a message to the Commander, who then entrusted me to get this to you Section Commander!” The girl spoke without breathing, and you absently wondered if this was her first time delivering a message. Before realising that yeah, this was most likely her first time delivering a message.

Good for her.

The girl borderline folded in half at the waist as she bowed, holding the scroll out for Hange with both open palms. You stifled a snort, pretending to pick at your lips to hide your smile.

Levi had been borderline completely silent throughout this entire exchange, not having much to say. However, that didn’t mean his eyes didn’t work. He noticed every little thing you did, every little micro-expression you made, whether it be concern, confusion, determination, and now hidden amusement. It warmed him that you could still smile at things, despite everything. 

“Uh, okay then… excellent work!” Hange seemed a little taken aback by the girl’s formal enthusiasm, but swiftly replaced the scroll with a baked potato from the supply crate, and you watched as Sasha all but melted on the spot, before taking one of the largest bites you’d ever seen a human being take out of anything, half wondering if she had Titan genes.

“So, who the hell was Nick talking about?” You turned your attention back to the conversation at hand, asking the three who already seemed to know her what was on everyone else’s minds.

“She was the smallest one in our class,” Eren answered, crouching to secure his boots.

“Golden hair, blue eyes. In fact… she was kinda cute.” You had to double take to make sure you actually heard that correctly. 

“The girl who’s always hanging around Ymir.” Mikasa clarified, and you looked at Hange just as their eyes widened. 

“Wh– Excuse me?” That had triggered something in their brain, but whatever that may have been, you guessed you would find out at a later date. Another quick glance around the room told you nobody else had quite had that same reaction. But that’s normal for Hange. 

You watched them stare in contemplation for a moment, before brushing off whatever they were thinking, clearly filing it away for later. But with everyone standing around, it was starting to irritate you that nothing was being done. “Alright, no point in doing nothing, start loading up supplies onto the lifts.” It was better than nothing, right? And it was nice to know people still regarded you with some kind of authority, as footsteps instantly started echoing off the stone walls. Hange helpfully took a seat on one of those crates, pulling at the string from around the paper handed to them by Sasha. Glancing to a smaller box of food to your left, you carried it under your arm, handing it off to Moblit who nodded at you in thanks. 

“That the background report?” You asked, leaning against their shoulder slightly, skim-reading the first few paragraphs.

“Yeah… yeah it is.”

“Background report?” Eren asked, his head almost comically popping up from behind one of the crates he was trying to lift.

“Ah, yeah. I asked for a background report on Annie Leonhart. It was a lot slower than I was hoping for, what with paper trails being a total catastrophe at the moment, but according to this, there were two other cadets in the 104th who came from the same area. One Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover.” Hange looked up from their paper, surveying the three before them. You, however, turned to Sasha, who’d looked as if she’d seen a ghost.

Too many revelations in one night. Too much information revealed in such a short amount of time. Levi kept his eye on Eren, the boy already having suffered enough. And no, whilst his own comments didn’t help settle the teens nerves, he also knew what was necessary to get through to him. He didn’t want to have to keep jabbing at him, and if this mission wasn’t so crucial, he wouldn’t have to. But with this perhaps being the only shot at sealing the wall they would get, he didn’t regret being harsh on him. Even if it had earned him some dirty looks from you.

Hange continued; “Don’t have many records about them, and any records we do have are unreliable, thanks to the chaos five years ago. However…” Placing the paper down on a makeshift table, Hange pointed to the skeleton of the scouting formation, “We do know in the long range scouting formation, their unit was given false information, among those intentionally misled into thinking Eren was in the right wing.” You felt a migraine coming on, your head starting to pulse ever so slightly, which considering your situation and circumstances, you couldn’t be surprised.

Though, out of instinct, your eyes slid to Levi and his surroundings, just to make sure it wasn’t the bond telling you he was in some kind of danger. Which, taking note of what was next to and behind him, he wasn’t. Just a normal migraine. You didn’t know which was worse at this point. At least you could do something about him being in danger.

–What?– Walls, he still sounded irritated.

–Nothing. Just a headache.– You weren’t about to admit that you were staring at him to make sure he was okay. If you were anything, you were petty. 

Levi already knew about the headache, he could feel it himself. He also knew why you suddenly looked over at him. He hated that his heart softened slightly. He was still livid with you for fuck’s sake. But the way you instantly looked to make sure he wasn’t in harm’s way…

How was he supposed to be okay with you riding to battle without him by your side?

“Wait just a second… that’s the section Annie attacked!” Armin realised, causing Sasha to almost break her neck by whipping her head to look at him. 

“What? What does that mean?” She asked, barely able to keep her voice from shaking. 

“Well… it’s entirely plausible that they told her where they thought Eren was…”

“Huh…? But why would they do that…?” The poor girl asked, her head tilted to one side. You thought she was kind of sweet, in her own way.

Glancing to Hange, who had already put the pieces together before you, they nodded in confirmation to where you’d just ended up with your thoughts. Reiner Braun and Bertholt Hoover were the most possible candidates for the Armoured and Colossal Titans. 

“Where are you going with this Armin? You can’t just accuse–” Eren started what clearly was about to become a heated argument, before he was interrupted by the scientist at your side.

“I totally agree. There’s a difference between coincidence and correlation,” –but didn’t they just confirm your thoughts?– “However, I’m curious to know how the three interacted whilst training. So? What can you tell me?”

As per usual, it was Armin who spoke first. “I knew Reiner and Bertholdt were from the same region as Annie, but honestly? They never seemed that friendly toward each other.”

“Same here,” Eren continued. “You wouldn’t really catch them idly chatting away, and even when they did talk, it was usually curt. It wasn’t like Annie was very social to begin with.” 

You tried to stop your bubbling hatred at the way they were talking about the Female Titan as if she were a normal human girl, and not some twisted psychopath who’d ripped your family to shreds. But it was proving difficult.

“Yeah… at meals, she seemed to prefer eating by herself. I don’t know…” Sasha thought for a moment, before her face lit up and she slapped her own fist, an idea popping into her head. “Oh! I think I've got something that struck me as weird at the time!”

Okay. Sweet? Yes. Any sense of urgency or necessary words in a sentence? No.

“I heard she liked sweets!” 

Seriously? You sighed heavily. 

“I’ve got nothing…” Mikasa began, before her eyes lit up slightly too. You guessed that was her own version of slapping her hand in realisation. “Except maybe that–”

“Guys, what are we doing? These are our friends we’re talking about. Our comrades. Sure, Bertholdt never has a lot to say, but Reiner’s like everyone’s big brother, ya know?”

No, actually, you wouldn’t know. You had a little brother, and you couldn’t remember a single thing about him. Not even his face. Not even his name. 

“You really think he’s capable of lying to us?” Eren finished with a surprising amount of conviction for someone who’d seen first hand the devastation the Female left in her wake. 

“Not only that,” you chimed in. “But how would Leonhart have known to change course? Hange said that unit was fed false intel, so how could she possibly have known where we actually were?” It was a question more to provoke thought than to disprove theories, to get further answers flowing, because how could she have known?

“You both have a point. Reiner fought Annie with everything he had. Almost got himself squeezed to a pulp in the process. And as for–” Armin stopped dead in his tracks, as if remembering something. 

“Armin?” You prompted, causing the blond to raise his head again. 

“He broke free at the last minute… but afterwards, Annie changed her course. In fact, she ran straight toward where you were. I briefly mentioned that you were most likely towards the centre rank but there was no way she could possibly have heard me. She wasn’t in earshot at the time, I’m sure of it.” For someone who’s words carried such conviction, Armin really had to work on his tone sounding unsure of himself. His mind truly was brilliant, as was his memory, it seemed.

“Do you remember if he seemed overly interested in Eren’s location?” You pressed, knowing you were almost to the bottom of how the fuck Leonhart found your squad. And with what looked like dawning realisation, you knew you had your answer.

“Oh no… the only reason I brought it up was because Reiner asked where Eren might be…” You had to fight the instinct to cross the room and envelope the kid in a hug. This wasn’t his fault, he had no way of knowing. You of all people could understand misplaced blame, and you knew he’d be blaming himself. “There’s… something else. Once he broke free, she stood there staring at her palm, possibly–”

“Looking at whatever Reiner had just carved into it with his blades, right?” You felt the familiar fire of battle rise in your gut, now more ready than ever to take on the fucker who lead your friends straight to their deaths. 

Armin nodded in confirmation and with a hint of what you thought was gratitude that he didn’t have to say it out loud. “Maybe… maye Reiner is…”

The room fell stagnant, Levi briefly noticing that you could hear the whispers of the dead if you listened hard enough. He could feel your iron determination in his stomach and it only worsened his pool of dread. Convincing you not to do this might be harder than he initially thought. 

“What is wrong with you all…?” Eren began, looking desperately between his friends. “This is Reiner we’re talking about. The man’s been with us from the beginning. You don’t just–”

“Enough!” Hange interrupted, commanding an impressive amount of the room’s attention with one order. You couldn’t help but admire them briefly. “All of you, listen up. If you cross paths with the pair in question, don’t give them any indication of what we’ve discussed, okay? And under no circumstances are you to bring up Annie Leonhart in their company. Before we can ascertain whether or not they were co-conspirators, we must find, lure and contain them underground. That’s the plan, are we clear?”

The room was a well orchestrated chorus of “Yes, clear.” before once again soldiers started busying themselves around you.

“Right, we have to go. Now!” The sheer, stony determination in Eren’s voice brought a flare of pride to your chest. He’d just found out the entire room was suspecting one of his greatest friends as an enemy of humanity and he was still as ready as ever to gallop off into action. 

“Calm down, Eren.” 

How many times had you heard those words in exactly that tone? You glanced back to see Levi looking between the three, a hand still clasped at the jacket around his shoulders. “I need you all to listen. This is where we separate. Erwin had his reasons for throwing this rag-tag squad together, but right now this is all riding on you.”

You wanted to slap him. As if the kid needed any more fucking pressure.

“Armin, you and Hange are the brains. Use your combined knowledge to cook us up some kind of solution,” He barely waited for a response from the blond before moving on. “Mikasa, I don’t think I’ll ever understand why you’re so attached to this guy in particular but put your skills to good use. Protect him at all costs.”

Your suspicions about her own bond only solidified with her answer. “Sir, I intend to.” You could see how her and Levi were related in some way.

“And you,” he turned to Eren and you saw him flinch slightly. You imagined not many people could make him flinch, having a fighting spirit like his, but you also weren’t too surprised that one of those few people just so happened to be your partner. “Don’t fuck this up.” 

Great. Now you wanted to kick him as well. 

“Check your emotions, Eren,” you clenched your jaw when Levi glanced at you with a look of purpose only you could see. “Learn the meaning of the word restraint. If you let yourself succumb to blind rage all hope is lost. We can’t afford another mistake.” You borderline snarled as you felt each one of his words against your gut. You fucking knew he wasn’t just talking to Eren. You knew he was sending those messages to you too. But you weren’t succumbing to blind rage. For the first time since that day, you were seeing clearly. You knew what you had to do. This wasn’t some passionate, miscalculated display of fury. This was what was necessary in order for yourself, and humanity, to move on. 

“Alright everyone, we move out in five. Everyone, check your gear and any supplies you think you’ll need!” Moblit called out above the slight din. And so you left down the steps to do just that. To find a quiet room to check your gear and engage in possibly the hardest fight in your life so far.

Because there was only one thing more terrifying than a Titan, and he just so happened to be the other half of your soul.

You heard him before you saw him, uneven, thunderous footsteps echoing down the hallway before Levi’s hand slapped the door so hard you felt the tingles of pain in your own palms. Those extra few seconds gave you time to prepare for whatever was about to happen.

He slammed the door behind him, rending not the jumped response he was expecting from you. That did not bode well.

“You’re not going.” 

“You physically cannot stop me.”

“It’s an order.”

You stopped fastening the belts to your thighs, savouring the sharp burn over your stitches. “Then I guess this is insubordination.” You responded firmly, before moving onto the next strap. You’d made up your mind. You were going, and that was final.

“You’re fucking kidding me, right? Were you not listening?”

“Nope. You can’t stop me doing this, ‘Vi. Nothing can stop me from doing this. If this is a step closer to understanding what’s going on, then I have to help them take it.”

“Even if that means risking your life?”

You scoff, not looking up from the straps on your legs. Though you weren’t doing a lot with them, just mindlessly checking them with faux importance. “Levi, every step outside those walls we risk our lives. Why is this any different?”

“Fuck, do I really have to spell it out for you?” 

“You’re asking me to put this relationship above fighting for humanity?” 

“Yes!” He answered before even thinking about it. 

You both fell silent, staring at each other. Because in the end, that’s what this came down to. Choosing between him or humanity. You always thought you would choose him. Fuck the world, fuck the Titans, fuck everything. It could all burn if it meant you could stay with him. 

But that was before Levi gave you a reason to keep fighting. If anything, he only had himself to blame. “You of all people should know that’s not possible.” It was a spiteful, venomous jab of a comment, but there was no room left for sympathy in you right now. “There has to be meaning…” you whispered, and you could feel him stop, the fight draining from his heart.

“There will–”

“No. There won’t. Not if I don’t make sure of it. You told me… you told me we keep fighting to give their deaths meaning. So let me fight. Please, Levi. I have to. Because I don’t know how the fuck I’m supposed to continue if everytime I get hurt I fucking hide. If I can walk, I can fight.

“And I’m walking pretty damn well.”

Levi ran a hand through his hair. He knew this would happen eventually. Knew there would be a time where you would have to run into a battle without him, it was inevitable in the Scouts, and he was only human. 

But not yet. 

Not now. 

He thought you were fucking dead days ago. He thought he’d lost you. Having you close was the only way of knowing you weren’t dead. The bond hadn’t helped that day, what had helped was seeing you alive. 

What if he never saw you alive again?

“I can’t let you do this… If something happened and I wasn’t there–”

“Then you’d be dead too, so it doesn’t matter anyway.”

Silence.

“How can you fucking say that…? How can you say that after what happened…? We don’t even know if that’s how it works and you’re still willing to risk it?” It was a kind of betrayal Levi didn’t think he’d ever felt before. Because this was you choosing to go away. You were choosing to leave him behind and risk the bond, risk him. Because no matter what happened, bond or no bond, if you died, he would die too.

You’d been too caught up in your grief to really think about it. Being the one to almost die, the one unconscious, you hadn’t thought about what it was like for him, hearing your voice fade from his head, feeling your presence disappear from within his chest. You hadn’t thought about it, and your constant companion of guilt thrived because of it.

“Levi…”

“Don’t. That doesn’t matter.”

You tried to reach for him, but he stepped back. “You know, Erwin told me what you said your biggest fear was. Was it a lie?”

Tears pricked your eyes, whether from the all too real wound burning on your thigh from how tight you’d pulled the strap, or the all too real wound burning in your heart, you couldn’t tell. “...No, ‘Vi. It wasn’t a lie.”

When he finally met your gaze, you had to look away. You’d never seen him look so vulnerable, so torn apart. “Then why are you doing this?”

Why were you hurting him so fucking badly?

“You know why.”

Because it would only get worse if you didn’t do this. And you would never be able to forgive yourself. 

–I love you…–

“Then prove it…!” he begged, uncaring about the desperation breaking in his voice. “Stay…”

He knew the second he’d said it, you’d already made up your mind.

“...I can’t.”

His eyes widened slightly, taking a moment to comprehend what you’d just said and the meaning behind it. 

“Then what are we still doing?” 

Your entire world shattered with those words. You had no response, nothing to give him. You’d found yourself at a crossroads, two paths stretching either side. 

“What do you mean…?” you asked, too afraid to raise your voice higher than a whisper. 

Anger had fueled his words. Anger and hurt. He didn’t know how to get you to see, how to get you to back down from this. No amount of begging or pleading could get you to change your mind, so where was the point? His soul screamed at him to change his mind, but he ignored it. Wordlessly, Levi turned and left you there. For the first time in his life, he was walking away from you.

Gritting your teeth against your tears, it took you a second to push down your emotions. If you were really going to do this, you needed all your focus on the mission. Not on Levi. Wiping a stray tear from your cheek with the heel of your palm, you tried to pull on the bond between you, only to find no tension. He’d sealed his mind off from you, and you honestly couldn’t blame him.

You could fix this, right? You could… you could go on the mission, come back and talk about it, right? You had to. You didn’t have a choice. 

With a tug of finality on the last buckle on your thigh, you stood. And with a resolve you didn’t know you could muster right now, you strode down a path, hoping to fuck it was the right one. 

#the ackerbond #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x reader smut #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman #levi smut #levi x reader #levi x reader smut #levi attack on titan #levi aot #levi #levi x y/n #levi x you #shingeki no kyoujin #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x female reader

[gffa]

There's no way this isn't meant to be extremely explicitly clear, right?

That it's very much meant to be an extremely explicit parallel to the prequels' Jedi's situation? Because I'm not used to Star Wars tie in novels necessarily being coherent with themes and part of me is still kind of boggled that this is the fifth or sixth time I've run across a conversation that, were you to basically give it a palette swap (change the names of characters/planets/enemies etc.) you could have plucked it from a novel set during the prequels' Clone Wars... and that it's basically having the discussion about how there's really no right answer, only that the Jedi can the single choice that's in front of them directly. There's a lot going on in the scene that's influencing the way the characters are behaving--Cohmac is being written as increasingly unsure of himself and unsteady, and I know he's going to leave the Jedi Order at some point, and you can see it in the way the war against the Nihil has been unbalancing him, as well as Starlight Beacon is falling/about to fall and they're trying to decide what to do, what can they do, this is their family, their friends, their home that's being attacked by the Nihil, but there's nothing they can do that those Jedi aren't already doing, panicking about it is just giving in to fear, so instead:

And it's hard not to see the parallel to Order 66. To see the parallel between how Starlight Beacon was always going to be attacked, because the Jedi stood for justice and helping people who were being attacked and the Jedi Temple being attacked by the Sith because they would have fought back against an Empire oppressing people, because the Jedi stood for justice. It's hard not to see this as the High Republic Jedi being put in almost the exact same circumstances as the prequels Jedi, a situation with no real "right" answer, only "fight or innocent people will die, even as it crushes part of your own soul to be embroiled in a non-stop war", there's no easy or good answer here, there's no neat and pat way out of it, there's no hidden perfect path you could find if only you did this or that. It's hard not to read these books and feel like the High Republic Jedi (whom the creators have designed to be the Bestest Jedi Evar) are providing me everything I could have asked for (and have been saying for the last seven years) on why the Jedi joined the awful Clone Wars, not because it was right or good or perfect, but because it was the best choice they had, given the circumstances, to save people's lives. The Jedi are often accused of not evolving with a changing galaxy, but that's the thing--they did evolve to what the galaxy asked of them. The Separatists were bombing civilian populations, they were unleashing bio-chemical warfare on worlds, they were enslaving populations. The Jedi didn't want to fight a war, but when innocent lives were on the line (and they very much were), when they were the best choice to lead an army because their goal would be to save as many lives as possible, they chose to evolve into what the galaxy needed from them, while keeping as much of themselves intact as they could. They still went on meditative retreats, they still wore their own clothes, they still lived in their home, they still taught their philosophy to anyone who wanted to learn it, they still kept their compassion for people, they still made friends wherever they went... and the High Republic Jedi made the exact same choices. Because the galaxy had changed around them, it wasn't the one they knew from before, and they did their best to match what it needed from them, even when it made them become something that weighed on their souls.

#lumi.txt #star wars #jedi order #novels #meta #novels: midnight horizon

[vodika-vibes]

Ohhhhh so I have an idea for ....

Forget-me-not and narcissus

You throw yourself in the way to save (clone of your choice), and he gets super angry at you for doing that because he's loved you forever. You both have but never admitted it ...

You can go from there. Love oo

I Don't Want To Forget

Summary: You are a civilian employee on the Resolute and you're a little bit accident prone, which is why you're shocked when General Skywalker wants you out on the battlefield one day. Luckily you have Kix looking out for you...unluckily, you get shot trying to save Kix's life.

Pairing: Clone Medic Kix x F!Reader

Word Count: 1720

Warnings: Reader is shot, and Kix yells

Prompts: Forget-me-not - Don't forget me, Narcissus - unrequited love

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: I'm not so sure about this one. Apparently Kix is a weak spot, lol

“The only reason I’m agreeing to this-”

“-is because it’s not up to you and General Skywalker says that I have to be here?” You interrupt, a small smile on your lips as you look at Kix. 

“This isn’t funny.” He hisses, “You have no business being on the battlefield at all.”

“I know, Kix. I’ll be careful, stay by you, and listen to orders. I promise.” 

He sighs and rubs his hand over his head, “That doesn’t make this any better, cyare.” He rubs his head a couple more times, and then he steps closer to you, “This armor stays on until you’re back on this ship.”

“Got it.”

“I mean it, unless it needs to come off to save your life, it stays on.”

“Kix, I understand. Really.”

He sighs and starts helping you with the armor. It was specially made for you, which means it fits well, but since you aren’t a soldier, this is the first time you’re wearing it. Hence needing Kix’s help to actually put it on.

After a few minutes, he takes a step back, “There, done.”

You look down at yourself, and at the plain white armor, and then you look back at Kix, “I feel like a kid playing dress up.”

“Well, with luck, this will be the only time you have to wear it.” Kix replies, before he frowns and tugs on the collar of your armor, “It’s a bit too big on you. Have you lost weight?”

“...I’m not answering that.”

“That’s a yes then.” Kix tugs on your armor again, his frown increasing, “There’s not that much give, so you should be fine.” He grabs the helmet off the table next to him and hands it to you, “Put it on.”

“Woo. Helmets. Enclosed spaces. Right around my head.”

“It’s fine, you’ll hardly notice.”

“I’ve had nightmares like this before you know,” You say as you lift your helmet, squeeze your eyes shut, and then pull it on.

There’s quiet for a moment, and then a low chuckle, “You still have your eyes closed don’t you?”

“...maybe.”

“Go ahead and open them.”

You sigh and open your eyes, blinking up at Kix who’s standing a lot closer to you, and seems to be messing with something on your helmet.

“Alright. The helmet fits fine, how are you doing?”

“Uh…this might very well be the worst day of my life.”

“You’re being dramatic.” Kix replies warmly, he messes with something at your neck, “Do you think you’ll be able to work like this?”

“...yeah. Probably.”

“Alright.” Kix pulls his own helmet on, “Do you remember what you’re here to do?”

“Yeah. Get in, check the droid, download what information I can, and get back to the ship.”

“Exactly that.” He lightly raps his knuckles against your helmeted forehead, “There will be no heroics from you, do you understand?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Then let's head out. Stay behind me.”

Half an hour later, Kix is carefully leading you through a downed starship, shot down by separatists, and you’re miles away from the rest of the battalion.

Which is a good thing, in this case. The rest of the 501st is fighting the droid army, while you and Kix remain unseen.

And you really meant to follow Kix’s orders.

Partly because a part of you thinks that if you follow Kix’s orders he might think of you more fondly and see you as more than just “that accident prone tech from maintenance”, but mostly because you’re very much not a soldier and having set orders to follow is making this a lot easier.

His order of “no heroics” is very easy to follow.

And you meant to follow it.

Right up until you saw a flash of gold out of the corner of your view screen. You turn slightly and see a beat old golden droid (it almost looked like an old HK unit, but that couldn’t be possible) taking aim at Kix.

And you just reacted.

You lurch forward and place your hands on his pack and push as hard as you can.

Kix stumbles forward, and a curse falls from his lips as he rounds on you, but then there’s a sharp pain in your head, and your helmet vision goes staticy, and there’s nothing.

Kix’s gaze is sharp as he keeps his eyes on his cyare.

It was dumb of her to push him out of the way. It was dumb of her to take a shot meant for him, but, at the same time, she saved his life. The blaster round would have gone through an opening in his armor and killed him instantly.

Because of her height, it hit her in the temple of her much thicker helmet.

He shouldn’t be angry.

He shouldn’t.

He should be grateful that she cares enough to save him.

But all he can think about is how his blood ran cold when she hit the ground. All he can remember is the sound her body made as she hit the ground. All he can remember is the panic that he felt when he thought that he saw her die right in front of him.

Tragically, he’s used to watching his brothers die in front of him.

It’s different for civilians.

It’s different for her.

It’s always been different for her.

He leans forward in his seat, and folds his hands in front of his mouth, his gaze lingering on her face. Aside from a massive bruise covering the side of her head, she looks fine.

There’s a low groan, and Kix’s head snaps up. “Cyare?”

Her eyes flutter open and she squints at him, “Kix?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” He stands and grabs his penlight from next to the bed, “How are you feeling?”

“M’ head hurts,”

“I’m not surprised. Do you remember what happened?”

Her gaze drifts to the side as she thinks, “...Did I trip over something?” She asks.

“No, sweetling, you didn’t.” Gently, very gently, he brushes some hair out of her face, and cups her cheek, “Can you try to remember what happened for me?”

She sighs and leans into his touch, her eyes closing as she tries to think.

Slowly, Kix rubs her cheek with his thumb, offering what comfort he could.

And then she sighs again and open her eyes, “I’m sorry, the last thing I remember is General Skywalker sending me a message saying that he needed to talk to me.”

“It’s okay.” Kix uses his free hand to squeeze her fingers, “I can tell you what happened. You were shot, sweetling.”

She blinks at him, twice, “I was shot? Me?”

“You pushed me out of the way and were shot in the temple,”

She blinks at him again, seemingly in disbelief, and then she nods slowly, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay. At least you weren’t hurt.”

“At least I…” Kix stops and closes his eyes, “You disobeyed a direct order.” He says flatly, “I told you no heroics.”

“You can’t scold me for something I can’t remember, Kix. That’s not fair.” She says with a small frown.

“What were you thinking?” He hisses, “You could have been killed. If you helmet was any thinner-”

“I obviously wasn’t killed, and of course I reacted to save you. I probably did it without thinking!”

“That’s the problem! You weren’t thinking! You never think and you always get hurt!”

She wilts under his glare, and averts her gaze, “...sorry to be such a burden.” She says quietly, hurt clear in her voice. “Next time I’ll just treat myself-”

“That’s not what I meant.” Kix interrupts. “You are not, and have never been, a burden.”

She still doesn’t look at him, and Kix sighs.

He reaches out and gently tilts her head to look at him, “I’m sorry for snapping at you.”

“S’okay. I’m sure I deserve it.”

“No.” Kix replies immediately, “You didn’t.” He pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts, “It bothers me, you know?”

She tilts her head curiously.

“The only time you come to see me is when you’re hurt.” Kix explains, “Every time I see you it’s because you tripped, or fell, or electrocuted yourself…or got shot, and I…hate it.” He says with a laugh, “I hate seeing you bruised or bleeding, and it’s the only time I see you.”

“...sorry-”

“Don’t…I am not blaming you. I’m,” He laughs again, “venting.” He absently traces your lower lip with his thumb, “I hate seeing you hurt. I wish you would just…come and see me because you want to see me, not because you have to.”

She’s quiet for a moment, “You always seem so annoyed whenever I am brought here with another injury. So I’ve been trying to be more careful, so maybe you’ll stop being annoyed with me. Guess I didn’t do the best job-”

“I love you.” Kix says, “I love you so much, and I know it’s not allowed and I tried so hard to forget about it, to forget about you, but I can’t. And you got shot for me-” He trails off, “Holy shit, you got shot for me.”

She blinks at him.

And Kix leans in and presses his forehead against hers, “I don’t want to forget you. I want…kriff…I want 2.5 kids and a house and a white picket fence, and I want to kiss you so bad that it hurts sometimes-”

He’s not able to finish his, slightly rambling, thoughts as she tilts her head back and catches his lips with her own. 

Kix is so surprised that he doesn’t react right away, and then his hand tangles in her hair and he’s kissing her back like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted in his life.

And maybe it has.

When he breaks the kiss, slowly, grudgingly, he keeps his eyes closed, as if afraid that if he opens his eyes he’ll realize this is nothing more than a dream. But then her forehead is pressed against his, and his gaze locks with hers.

“So,” Kix murmurs, “That was…”

“I like you too,” She whispers, “But I’d prefer it if we waited a bit before we talk about those 2.5 kids.”

He laughs softly, “Deal.” He strokes her cheek gently, “I love you.”

A small, awed, smile crosses her lips, “I love you too.”

#star wars #tcw #vodika-vibes follower celebration #clone medic kix x reader #kix x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #f!reader fic #answered asks

[prying-pandora666]

Let’s be Honest About Iroh

Okay but for real.

I adore Iroh. When I was a troubled, angry teen who had been abused and had left home as soon as I finished high school, even when it led to homelessness, Iroh meant everything to me.

He was the only adult who never failed me. Who gave me kind advice and words of wisdom to soothe the raging storm of pain and betrayal in my heart.

Only Iroh and the works of Tolkien have ever given me that level of comfort and will to keep moving forward even when I messed up. To always strive to be better, even if you were misguided or lashed out the day before. Even if you’ve been wronged or hurt and lost it all.

But for real, fandom, let’s be for real.

The problem comes when fans claim Iroh never killed anyone. Or never hurt anyone. Or tried to be a “humane” general fighting a genocidal war of aggression . Or that the Siege of Ba Sing Se wasn’t a horrific 600 day campaign which caused “chaos and violence” within the walls of the biggest civilian city in their world. It makes it seem like fandom would rather deify Iroh due to their positive feelings towards him rather than confront the reality that sometimes your mentor is someone else’s monster.

That maybe the jolly, kooky, tea-loving Uncle who always forgave and gently guided Zuko, and never ever gave up on him, may have arrived at that kindness and wisdom precisely because he has seen the end of the path Zuko was walking on. Iroh in his prime was worse than Azula could ever dream of being. When he said “she’s crazy and she needs to go down”, he was speaking from experience because he knows all too well what propaganda does to a person, and that you can’t talk them out of it. They must experience the downfall and realization for themselves.

He never said “don’t help her after she falls”. On the contrary, in the comics he wishes for Azula to heal.

Iroh is not perfect. No one is perfect. And if you keep judging people by their proximity to perfection, you will always be disappointed even in people who do good. And you will also condemn people who need help and have the potential to change into good people.

There are monsters out there but none of them are born that way. They are created through a combination of experiences and their own choices along the way.

But an important message of ATLA is that while we MUST fight those that seek to do others harm, even with our very lives, we must also reach our a hand to help those that have already fallen. If they reject it, that is their choice and they can bear the consequences.

But it is still our responsibility to reach out.

Too much of the fandom seems steeped in essentialism. That everyone is only as good as the worst thing they’ve ever done.

Which is why they feel the need to pretend Iroh was always a good person who never really wanted to participate in this genocidal war.

But this isn’t the case. And the sooner we can admit that to ourselves, the sooner we can begin to understand what drives people to such actions.

And how to help those that have been groomed and exploited for such purposes. Just like Zuko.

Even if we find them unpalatable or mentally unwell. Just like Azula.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #avatar #Iroh

[dargoww]

I’m sorry to bother you

But Leon with a ✨nerdy gamer gf✨

OMG YESSSS

pairing: leon s. (ass) kennedy x gamer!reader

warnings: none at all except for some swear words

summary: just plain hcs, i really enjoyed writing this

this guy is DEFINITELY gonna be watching you play even though he may sometimes admit that he's not interested

especially if it's an action game

with either a lot of jumping, shooting, or just QTE

he doesn't even realize he's looking

he usually just stands there by the counter making himself coffee

and gets captivated by the game you have on

in literally minutes he's gonna sit by your side and scream: "go, go, go, come on! why you're just standing like that?"

"you definitely would not stay alive if you went for this in a real fight"

"wtf is wrong with this game? no one holds a gun like this!"

but then he just goes in his chill mode being all confident and badass

he says to you:

"no, sweetheart, you're doing this the wrong way. you have to pass before that dude comes in and then dodge when he runs after you."

none of his comments change even if you're super good at the game you're playing

leon's still gonna complain

and take your controller sometimes

or take charge at the computer

even though he's a bit sick of his job, he likes shooters

it's kind of a meditative process to him

shooting in games is nothing compared to reality

just clicking buttons

he has a love for shooting from sniper rifles in games

so whenever you have a part of game where you need to kick ass he would like to do that for you

if you play cinematic games that involve choices (like Detroit: Become Human, Beyond: Two Souls, etc.) he's gonna discuss with you what's the best thing to do

if you don't save a civilian he's gonna go feral

"why didn't you save them???? you could save them!"

so you better go back and replay just for the sake of your boyfriend's sense of justice

leon doesn't mind you playing a lot but will get whiny if the games have too much of your attention

he may come to you and invite you to spend some time together, maybe go out somewhere or just cuddle

if you say that you have an important match he's gonna wait

but if it's gonna be longer than 30 minutes he will probably come back to hurry you up because he missed you 🥺

pls don't ignore him he goes into his baby mode if you do

leon does this very rarely but he might bring food to you when you're playing and he knows you haven't had a meal in a long time

usually he does it when he's feeling sad

because when he's sad, he feels better when he takes care of you

he does it all the time but if he's feeling down it's especially noticeable

that's kind of a sign for you to see that something is happening to him

so yeah, he's definitely gonna get you some food or drinks

he feels better when he sees you smile

so after he gives you the food he's gonna sit not very far from you, minding his own business, not distracting you

but if you pause the game for him and ask if he's alright he's gonna melt

#leon kennedy x reader #resident evil #leon kennedy #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x y/n #leon s. kennedy #resident evil 2 #resident evil 4 #leon kennedy request #leon kennedy resident evil #leon s. kennedy x reader

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 16 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 17

Summary : Loki does what he thinks is best for you two

Warning: mention of sex, mention of periods, heartbreak and angst, talk of murder and kidnapping, mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, self deprecating behaviour,

"Say something..you can't just stand there being silent when you're breaking my heart" you gritted your teeth but he could tell you were fighting back tears. He was making a mistake, he surely was but at least you'd be alive, being with him would only cause you pain, it will only take you away to the place where he won't be able to go find you and he didn't think he'd survive that.

"I don't want to lose you, I just…" his eyes welled up and before he could finish his sentence you cut him off, you had been here at this same place a bunch of times before and no matter how many times you have been abandoned so suddenly out of nowhere you never found it any easier to deal with it. At least you had hope before, you moved on from those liers and cheaters, you had a reason to move on and you never looked back at them but Loki? You'd always yearn for him, you'd never move on from someone as precious as him.

"You're just done being my lover aren't you?" You sniffled between your broken cries and his heart shattered into tiny little pieces. He wasn't done, far from it but he had no choice.

"You want to be with me after what has happened today?"

"It's not your fault Loki" you walked towards him but he took a step back so you stopped.

"It is my fault that she got hurt, you know that, you know why she got hurt"

You knew why but you also knew it wasn't his fault.

Today around 1 pm in the afternoon while Loki and Melissa were returning to the tower after an event, she was shot at, the shooter however missed the mark and the bullet grazed through her arm but it very well could have been her head. She could have died. The attacker surrendered himself and gave a public statement that he was only avenging his father, his father was one of civilians who had died during the battle of New York, a chitauri robot had attacked him brutally and since then his son had been seeking revenge. He knew it was merely impossible to hurt Loki physically considering how powerful he was so he wanted to put him through the same agony as he had suffered and that's why he targeted Melissa.

He attacked Melissa because they are supposed to be in love, she was his lover in the eyes of the public and she was someone to be used as a weakness against him.

When Loki had the time to process the incident he realized how risky it was for a mortal to be associated with him like that. It's not that he wasn't full of guilt when Melissa got hurt but when the shooter looked him in the eye and confessed why he did that, all he could think about was you. He was grateful to the norns that it wasn't you that had gotten hurt. If Avengers hadn't been so deceptive and brought Melissa in between it would have been you on his target and he could have lost you today.

"Please don't ..please don't leave me loki…i love you ..please"

And there you were begging for a man to not leave you, to not hurt you, to not abandon you like this. He walked towards you and cupped your cheeks to wipe your tears, the hiccuped cries made his heart sink.

"You won't love me when one day i become the reason you are hurt and killed" you stopped crying as he said that "You think I want this? I am terrified and I know I am making the worst mistake of my life here but at least i can keep you safe and alive this way"

"No no no lo. Please there must be another way ..please" he grabbed you by the shoulders as you pleaded with him to not give up.

"There is, come with me, stay with me and let me protect you with everything I possess, will you do that? Will you leave everything behind here and follow me?" You looked at him as he said that, slightly shocked, you should have said yes, you should have followed him, that was your only chance but you said nothing, you allowed the moment to pass by.

Were you ready to leave this comfortable life where nobody knew you and be with a man who was loved or hated with equal passion by everyone in this world and the others? What would your parents say? You would never get to have a normal life again and you didn't think you were made for that kind of lifestyle, you didn't think you were built to be with someone as regal as him.

"Why can't it be like this forever ?" You sniffled as you spoke so he let go of you and took a step back,

"How long? How long would we keep this charade going? For how long we would continue to hide?"

"Lokiiii" you placed your hands on your face as you cried furiously, even though he wasn't crying in an audible manner his eyes continued to shed more and more tears. A part of him had wished you would accept his proposal and just come with him but he knew he was again asking for too much.

"I want to run to you and touch you whenever I want. I want to see you smile and hear your laughter, watch you dance and kiss you until our souls are intertwined with each other. I want to snuggle with you after making love to you but I can't do any of those things if you are not even here. If you're dead because of me. I'd never ever move on from that, just the mere thought of living in a world where I can't find you and look at your precious face terrifies me to my very being" your sobs increased with every word you heard from him, he loved you you knew that and his fear wasn't baseless.

The heartbreak at the moment was so painful that you probably weren't rationalizing how frightening this situation was, it could have been you today if the world knew about your relationship with him. One decision and you'd be setting yourself up to become the target of the people you didn't even know.

“So that’s it? We just go back to being friends? Or you don’t want that either?” your eyes welled up, lips trembled as you spoke, the hurt look on your face made him want to disappear, he had vowed to not hurt you then how come he was the one breaking you so?

All he wanted to do was run to you and kiss you, he wanted to tell you that he didn’t just want to be your friend, he didn’t think he could handle being just your friend when his feelings for you were only growing deeper and stronger everyday but he had to do this.

He couldn’t risk your life. He couldn’t lose you to death.

"You will always have me and my friendship" you snickered as he said that

"You have no idea how many times I have been told that before, those people don't even know where I am now or if I'm even alive"

He looked down as another set of tears cascaded down his cheeks, this morning when he woke up he had his whole day planned meticulously, the thought of seeing you at the end of the day was the only thing keeping him going, he just wanted to come home to you and lie down with his head between your chest, he wanted to be caressed and loved until he's lost in that peaceful serene corner of his mind where he wasn't getting hurt or blamed for everything.

He never thought that one moment would change everything. What was he even thinking? He had millions of enemies who were thirsty for his blood and wanted to seek revenge from him and all this time he deliberately got closer to an innocent precious mortal such as you knowing too well that a monster like him deserved no peace or love, he deserved suffering for what he had done, he had to atone for the harm he had caused.

"Just go" you mumbled to him as you wiped your tears, his brows furrowed as he noticed the cold tone of your voice, before you could say anything further he just disappeared and as soon as he was gone you broke down into tears all over again.

This can't be happening right? You lost him again and this time it felt definite, it felt forever, you feared that you'd never get to see him again or hold him again. You cried for an hour as all those old wounds had reopened

Did he really want you to go with him or was he just saying it to let you down slowly? Was this the only reason he broke up with you or he was just done with you and needed an excuse to get out? Your mind probed at every insecurity you had until you passed out from all the crying.

Next morning when you woke up your heart still felt so heavy as if someone had forced a heavy rock upon your chest, you had no energy left even though you had been sleeping for the past ten hours, all you wanted to do was just cease to exist until the hurt would go away. You kept staring at the ceiling for eternity, whosoever said that heartbreak only made you suffer emotionally couldn't have been more wrong because you felt nauseous, your chest felt constricted and you didn't think you'd be able to survive this thing

You had to talk to him. If he just wanted your friendship then you'd be his friend but you weren't ready to lose him, everytime you closed your eyes you saw his face and burst into another fit of cries. Sure you wanted everything with him, but if his friendship was the only thing he wanted to give you then you were ready to take it because you knew you needed him in your life.

But then why was it so hard now when you both started as friends? It shouldn't have been this hard.

You took a day off from work and just sat by your phone, you were hoping he'd call but he didn't, not even once, you kept waiting but his call never arrived.

He was at the hospital at the moment looking after Melissa, though he wanted to be anywhere but with her, he still felt responsible and liable for her condition. He wanted to nurse her back to health, he was burdened by the knowledge that someone had tried to take her life just because of him.

When she woke up from her nap he apologized to her and she didn't say much, she probably wanted him to feel the guilt of it, he knew it must have terrified her too but he didn't know how he was supposed to fix the situation.

In the evening you felt the panic increasing with every passing second, he'd just forget about you right? All these moments that you had spent together would just become a memory and those memories would fade sooner or later "Why won't you call?" You sobbed uncontrollably and you felt your chest tightening again so you walked towards the window and opened it to let the fresh air in.

He missed you more than anything and he wanted to talk to you but he didn't want to hurt you, you wanted him to leave and he didn't want to do anything that would hurt you any more. He was worried about you so he sent Thor every other day to check up on you, though Thor never failed to remind him everyday what a fool he has been for letting you go like this.

He definitely wasn't able to sleep properly but everytime he got an hour or two worth of sleep he saw you in his dreams, these dreams weren't like the ones he was having before, he wasn't seeing things that had never happened, he was only reliving the memories he had already made with you.

It's been two weeks and neither of you had called one another, there had been no public appearances since the attack so you didn't even have the luxury of seeing his face. Later in the evening however you saw a post on Instagram, Melissa had made a video where she seemed emotional and was bragging about the attack and how much she loved him which you knew was nothing but lies, everyone was calling her brave and sweet and what not for sticking by his side even after such a dangerous ordeal.

And then you watched her flipping the camera, she was somewhere in the tower and you saw her zooming in on Loki who was sitting on the couch reading his book unaware that he was being filmed. You had lost the count of how many times you had replayed that portion of the video just to see him being so engrossed in his book. He was adorning an Asgardian tunic that clung perfectly to his chiseled body, his hair hung loosely on his shoulders, he was so pretty to look at that you couldn't even believe that you were allowed to even touch a man who looked like this.

You cried some more and decided to call him but everytime it rang even once you just cut the call. How did you two get here so quickly? A few minutes later you noticed that there was a call from an unknown number so you picked it up,

"Hello?" You didn't hear anything for a few seconds and then you heard him breathing "Lo?"

His eyes teared up as you said his name, he was finally allowed to have a cellphone, now he was able to call anyone anywhere on earth, all he needed was their number and as soon as he was alone in his own company he knew who he wanted to call.

"How are you sweetheart?" Just the sound of his voice filled you with mixed emotions.

"What do you think?"

There was a silence again so you sighed.

"I miss you Loki, I miss you. I miss what we had with each other, I miss kissing you and cuddling you, I miss scratching your scalp and I miss listening to those happy little sounds you made whenever I did so. I miss all of that but most of all I miss my best friend because I have no one to talk to now or share my worries with, so if you can just give me my friend back that would be ..nice..no pressure though i guess"

You hung up the phone as soon as you were done speaking because you knew you were close to sobbing again. An hour later you heard a knock on your window so you looked behind and there he was on the other side. Though he looked perfect as ever he also seemed tormented from deep within. You always knew when he wasn't feeling his best.

You got off the bed and opened the window, when he got in neither of you said a word for what felt like eternity.

"What ummm..uhh what are you doing here?" You crossed your arms as you questioned him, you had one of his shirts on so he tried to not focus on that particular detail.

"That's how midgardians greet their best friends after they haven't seen them for weeks?" He chuckled and it made you smile,

"Well first of all best friend as in singular, I only have one and yes, I am upset you never called"

"Neither did you"

"You broke up the more than friends pact so you should have done it first" his eyes teared up as you said that.

"I did, I am sorry I did not call and i have missed you my darling" you looked down in order to hide your own emotions, you slowly walked towards him and his heart sped up because he thought you'd kiss him and he knew he wasn't strong enough to not kiss you back but to his bewilderment you just hugged him, you tried to keep it as platonic as you could but it was hard when being so close to him only made you want to do other things that friends should never do with each other.

He didn't say a word, he just leaned down so you could get on your tiptoes and wrap your arms around his neck, you felt him embracing you warmly. His fingers clutched into your hair in desperation, he never wanted to not call you, he just figured you needed your space and so did he.

As you pulled away he cupped your cheeks, wiped your tears and kissed your forehead before you took a step away from him.

"I wanted to show you this as soon as they handed it to me and perhaps get your assistance with it because I am entirely clueless" he smiled so you returned it, it would be hard to stay just friends with that adorable face but you had to do it, you weren't willing to lose him at all and you didn't think you were ready for the limelight and attention that would come with being with him so publically, you did think you'd be able to handle it well.

He conjured a cellphone and gave it to you.

"They finally gave you this huh?" You walked past him and toward the couch to sit down so he followed and sat down on the other side.

"I was barely able to insert your number" he chuckled nervously

"Well once you start using it you'll get used to it"

You saved your number with your name in his phone and showed him different uses of the phone, you also showed him that he could click photos and make videos with it. You downloaded a bunch of different apps that you figured he would need.

"Fancy a cup of tea, mister?" You asked him so he nodded, as you got and walked towards the kitchen he was finally able to just stare at you without having to avert his gaze like friends should.

He picked up his phone, turned the camera on and zoomed in so he had a clear view of your beautiful face, you were focused on the tea but at one point you did look up and caught him filming,

"Stopppp …Jesus I'm ugly right now Loki" you turned around but you kept turning your head to peak at him.

"No you are not and I was merely curious of the use of this device" you chuckled as he said that and got back to straining the tea, his eyes teared up at the sight of you, he wanted to run to you and kiss you like he used to but he couldn't. He couldn't afford it any longer.

"Tell me everything i have missed" he said to you as you passed him the cup of tea and sat down on the couch a feet away from him with your own cup in hand

"Okay mister gossiper" he chuckled as you said that " Ummm Mrs Geller is on a vacation, her daughter lives in Hawaii and ummm ohhh there's this guy in the building who just came back from jail for kidnapping his girlfriend, apparently he was holding her hostage right in his apartment, Mrs Geller told me that I should just avoid him if I pass by him and it kind of creeped me out, thankfully he's four floors down"

"He seems dangerous, you will let me know if he's bothering you in any ways" he wasn't asking you to tell him, he was telling you that you would tell him, he couldn't believe a deranged maniac who did such a crime was living just a few floors down from you. That's how midgardians must feel about him as well.

"How's it going there, ummm how's the Blair witch doing?" He let out a laughter at the comment.

"She's healed now, she hasn't been bothering me since the accident, it is as if she has turned into this new person, maybe the incident had an effect on her" you sipped on your tea as he said that. It's not that you wanted her to die, it was terrible what had happened to her but you couldn't help and wonder if this was her new strategy.

What if she was trying to come off as aloof and nice just so he'd become her friend, what if she's trying to gain his trust? Insecurities filled you to the brim as you thought about it, her personality was the only thing not appealing about her, you felt awful that you were rooting for a person to stay malicious just so Loki won't fall in love with her.

Before he left you embraced him longingly because you knew you won't be seeing him everyday now that your relationship with him had changed. Again.

Days passed so quickly but also appeared to be so torturously long, he definitely called once in a while and every time you felt anxious or scared you always ended up calling him, whenever he'd notice that you needed him by your side he was there for you and you loved him being there for you but it also made things harder for you. You were clearly so in love with him still and it was hard to be around him and not jump into his arms, it was difficult to not just kiss him when he looked at you so affectionately and it wasn't getting any easier.

You heard your phone ringing one fine Sunday while you were making lunch so you picked it up. You were hoping it was Loki but it wasn't, it was Jane. After that day when Jane had helped Loki you asked to meet her just so you can thank her and you both sort of became friends, it was fairly new and you were getting to know each other but you enjoyed having a non toxic female friend. It was her birthday tomorrow and she was inviting you. You told her you won't be able to come but she insisted and told you that the trip was her treat and she already had your tickets booked.

It's not that you didn't want to be there ..the only problem was she was celebrating her birthday in New York City and you knew all those Avengers will be there.

Worst of all you knew Loki would be there.

😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

Taglist (if you want to be tagged or removed let me know.. also I’m not able to tag some of you, please check your settings)

@annoyingsweetsstranger @mcufan72 @nixymarvelkins @stupidthoughtsinwriting @fictive-sl0th @huntress-artemiss @eleniblue @violethaze @anukulee @ladymischief11 @12-pm-510 @wolfsmom1 @whylokiissocute @hyperlokilover @vickie5446 @pics-and-fanfics @daddylokisqueen @tallseaweed @olivertwistrabbit @blog-the-lilly @prettylittlepluviophile @vanilla-daydreaming @somewiseguy @yaaamadaa-blog @dragonmurray @nyxxharmonia @elthreetimes @gruftiela @thenotoriouserg @optimisticyouthdefender @mcuhplover @greep215 @yallgotkik

@obscureenigmatic @janineb86 @sflame15-blog @nyxlaufeyson @lokidokieokie @purplekitten30 @sunnixart @nikkig496-blog @frozenhuntress67 @qardasngan

#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader angst #post avengers loki #canon divergent au #soft loki

[akiranzee]

💧 • ° ` — “I CAN’T SAVE US, MY ATLANTIS”

-> PAIRINGS: Giyuu Tomioka x f!Y/n -> SUMMARY: Lovers’ quarrel. What could they ever regret about it? -> WORD COUNT: 2.5k+ -> CONTAINS: angst, slight swearing, fighting scene (myb?!?), & giyu is 21 while reader is 20. -> A/N: feeling angsty today lol. this oneshot is inspired by the song “Atlantis” by Seafret. u should check it out, it’s a nice song :)). the indented ones are the lyrics of the song btw.

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------------Complete!------------

The birds have left their trees The light pours onto me I can feel you lying there all on your own We got here the hard way

It was winter, and your lover, Giyuu Tomioka has been sent on a mission. You can’t help but want to fix things with him, and bid him a goodbye kiss.

But your stubborn self stopped that from happening. And well, your lover didn’t even bid you a goodbye kiss, he just went off without even looking at you. Guess he is stubborn too.

And then there you are, left all alone in your shared house. It was cruel. You were alone, feeling lonely, and scared that maybe a demon will just barge into your house knowing your demon slayer lover isn’t home now.

You guys have been together for 3 years, and well, you had fights like these, but not like this.

Knowing Giyuu, everytime the both of you had an argument, he’d just stay quiet until you apologized. But knowing your pride, a big one at that, it’d take you a lot of time or days to say it out loud to him. And he’d just be all smiley and accept your forgiveness, then everything will be alright.

Meanwhile with Giyuu, he’s worried about you. Like dead worried.

He wants to tell Oyakata-sama that he’s sick and that he can’t go on the mission, but he knows damn well that’s no excuse. I mean, he is a demon slayer, and while you, you’re just a mere civilian who he happen to lay his eyes on.

But who cares, right? Both of you still love each other and nothing will change that. Not even the fights you both have.

Sure, it was a tough road being each other’s lovers, but for the both of you, it was worth it.

Even though Giyuu’s job was to slay demons, and your job was to plant and pick vegetables and fruits, the both of you still managed your time well and get to enjoy each other in each other’s arms.

But even with those, fights are normal in relationships of course. There are times like these, and there are times that aren’t like this.

All those words that we exchange Is it any wonder things get broke? ‘Cause in my heart and in my head I’ll never take back the things I said

Times like this when the both of you spout useless nonsense at each other to the point where one just wants to end it all.

But the both of you knew damn well that those words hurt each other’s feelings, but you can’t take those words back because the both of you had prides up high.

So high above, I feel it coming down She said, in my heart and in my head Tell me why this has to end Oh, no, oh, no

The relationship you both had to went for hardships because of it is slowly falling down. And neither of you both want to accept that.

But the both of you knew, you knew. You knew loving someone isn’t easy, and obviously letting them go isn’t an easy choice. It never was.

But this just didn’t work out, you know? Introvert and extrovert people could have been a great couple duo. But the both of you? No. It just didn’t. Not for you, not for him.

The fights have been frequent, and you even forget who or what started this fight, and when or how to end it.

That’s why, once he comes back from his mission, you plan to end things with him. You just couldn’t do it anymore. You simply wished for someone to treat you any better than he did, but there was just no ‘someone’ better than him.

But what can you do? Relationships dry out easily if it was in your situation, and you just… had to accept it.

Thinking about the words, the right words to tell him that you want to break up hurts you.

But what hurts you more was the scorching pain in your left hand. It was burning, it was stinging, it was bleeding.

And then you looked to your left, seeing a guy who looked less of a human. It was a demon. And you were screwed.

I can’t save us, my Atlantis, we fall We built this town on shaky ground I can’t save us, my Atlantis, oh, no We built it up to pull it down

You managed to get away from the demon’s grip, and reached for the knife. As you get hold of it, he was no longer in front of you.

He was right behind you now, and you were just thrown on the wall with a full magnificent force that you felt your back break.

Your vision was so blurry, that all you could remember was the demon raising his left fist.

And in that single moment, you couldn’t think of anything, nor do anything. But in that single moment, you wished that you could’ve just let down your pride for once.

You should’ve spent your last moments with Giyuu together, and that you could never end things with him.

You love him too much, that even your last words were ‘I love you’ with the image of Giyuu in your mind, and everything fell black.

Now all the birds have fled The hurt just leaves me scared Losing everything I’ve ever known It’s all become too much

With Giyuu, he finished his mission easily and faster than he thought, so he decided to buy something for you.

In the market, the uneasy feeling never left him. Or so to say, the uneasy feeling just added more weight to his heart. And it wanted him to go home and check on you so bad.

But he wanted to make things right, so he can’t go home empty handed. Not just yet.

~~~~~

It was already evening, and finally, he managed to buy someting. And it was a hairpin. It was colorful. It came with lavender color, followed by black, then sakura flowers.

It was the perfect gift he could give you. Not only that, but it’d match your favorite lavender-colored kimono decorated with sakura flowers too.

And then he knew, it was time to go home.

~~~~~

After minutes of walking, he’s now almost near your home. He should be feeling excited and happy that he’s near, that he could finally see you, hug you, and kiss you.

But no. The more steps he took, the more he felt uneasy. Something didn’t feel right. Something didn’t sit right with the atmosphere.

He’s so filled with these thoughts of you, that tears begin to form on the corner of his eyes, breath starting to get shaky, and speed starting to get faster.

Maybe I’m not built for love If I knew that I could reach you, I would go It’s in my heart and in my head You can’t take back the things you said

Shit, if you were with someone else, would they have done a much more better job at protecting you than him? Maybe, just maybe, if you both didn’t crossed paths, would you have been safe right now? Would you have been safe, in someone else’s arms right now?

Damn it, he should’ve went home earlier. He should’ve spotted this hairpin much earlier, and that he would be home by now.

He would be home, and you would feel safe in his arms.

Sure, you told him mean nonsense, meaningless things when you both fought, but he knew damn well you loved him just as much as he loved you.

He loves you so much, that’s why he’s sprinting towards home now. Towards you.

So high above, I feel it coming down She said, in my heart and in my head Tell me why this has to end Oh, no, oh, no

Now that he’s much near home, he can now see the wooden gates of your shared home, he’s feeling more and more anxious.

What would your reaction be? Would you be happy now, or would you still be mad? Or would you not get the chance to react at all?

She told you the meanest things possible, and yet you’re worried sick about her. Oh, how lucky can she ever be?

He entered towards the gates, and towards your door, he called out to you, he called out your name, but no answer.

Trembling feeling was within him, but he fought it and forced himself to take a peek.

And that’s where it all ended.

The tears that once formed on the corner of his eyes, now took control and fell warmly on his cheeks.

He strode towards you, and looked at your helpless, lifeless self.

He held your body in his arms, and regretted everything. Regretted that he ignored the uneasy feeling shouting at him just from the start, regretted that he didn’t come home early, and regretted that he couldn’t save you.

Yes, you guys had fights, that were almost useless, words that you spouted and yelled at each others faces that hurt, but not even for a single moment, did he not love you.

He could never forgive himself. He had lost everyone dear to him, he couldn’t protect everyone he cared for, and he couldn’t save everyone he loved.

And you were the 3rd one.

And that’s why he could never call himself a hashira. Hashiras are supposed to be the strongest, which means they are capable of saving and protecting those in need.

But he was given 3 chances at that, and yet he still failed the same way.

The people he cared for, Tsutako, Sabito, and Y/n died the same way, for the same reason.

Thinking back of it, he couldn’t feel anything other than shame and grief.

Shame because he’s got the title ‘hashira’ when he doesn’t deserve it. If it wasn’t for Tsutako, he wouldn’t have reached where he is now. If it wasn’t for Sabito, he wouldn’t have survived the final selection. And if it wasn’t for Y/n, he wouldn’t have become someone he is now, someone better than the old him.

All the people he failed to save contributed and played a role where anyone rarely can.

If it wasn’t for you, Y/n L/n, he wouldn’t have become Giyu Tomioka, the water pillar.

Yeah, we build it up and we build it up Yeah, we build it up to pull it down And we build it up and we build it up And we build it up to pull it down

During your first meeting, Giyu was just strolling around the market, unsure of what to do, and yet he happened to lay his eyes on something pretty.

It was a gorgeous woman named Y/n L/n, a normal farmer girl, selling fruits to the market.

But to Giyu Tomioka, she was no normal. She was something out of the extraordinary that he felt he was finally blessed by a sight to see.

He stared at you for way too long, and you had to call out to him when you noticed his eyes lingering on you for that long.

He apologized, but you can’t help but giggle at how cute he sounded, much more at how cute he looked, with his face blusing and sweat dropping.

And that’s where it all started, Giyu Tomioka and Y/n L/n’s love story.

At first, Giyu didn’t know what to tell you or how to respond at every conversation you shot up.

He just nodded, blinked, and stared at you, which you honestly found boring. But either way, you were stuck with him, and he was stuck with you. Meaning, you’re both stuck with each other.

During Giyu’s day offs and yours, you’d both hang out somewhere faraway, and peaceful. And your favorite hangout spot? The ocean.

The waves crashing the rocks was a delight to the ear, and the scene where either the sun rays or the moonlights reflect the ocean, causing it to shine along.

Those moments were the once you and him cherished most. And well, of course you guys hit it off.

You were almost way too perfect for each other, that even though you guys are total opposites, you guys didn’t care.

So, for almost 6 months of courtship, you can’t help but say yes, as every single day, he’d bring a bouquet with different flowers displayed.

But of course, there are downs in a relationship. One where the both of you would think and yell nonsense at each other, and dramatically going up to the point where you want to end things.

Fights with him are unclear. You just can’t understand him, but instead misunderstand him. Fights with him aren’t because of jealousy like any others, but instead because of worry.

Worry that one day, Giyu may not return home and that you’ll only hear the day after that he had passed away because of a demon killing him.

But actually, it was the other way around. It was you who ended up passing away because a demon killed you, and it was him that now is filled with guilt and sorrow.

Giyu can’t forgive himself. He now never could. He ought and swore to protect you, but in the end, he failed miserably, for the 3rd time.

I can’t save us, my Atlantis, we fall We built this town on shaky ground I can’t save us, my Atlantis, oh, no We build it up to pull it down

Giyu held you tightly in his arms, looking back to where everything went wrong.

And looking back to where everything started.

He looked back at the moments you both happily shared together, the moments that still brought smiles on your faces. But now, it was the end of all those moments.

It hurt. There was a stinging pain in his heart that he knows will take even longer to heal. Or perhaps, never.

He can already end his life here and now, to be with you once again. Ever since that day, you became his everything. And now without his everything, he’s nothing.

“Please... don’t go...” Giyu spoke in a raspy voice with sobs. He wished you were still alive and heard him, but no. You weren’t.

It’s cruel. He did not even had the chance to bid you goodbye. He did not even had the chance to tell you he’s sorry and that he loves you.

The ups and downs of your relationships were just obstacles that whoever from above sent down. And the both of you passed those obstacles, with only one man standing.

And within those years, months, and days of being together, there was not a single moment where you both never loved each other.

And now, he regrets that he didn’t apologize for his actions, that he let his pride get the best of him, and that he never get to fix things up.

People always have prides, whether low or high. But those prides are sometimes what gets in the way of two people. You may not realize it yet, but your pride may already have hurt a person. Especially the ones you love.

And that’s where it all ended, Giyu Tomioka and Y/n L/n’s love story.

#demon slayer #kny #anime #giyuu x reader #giyuu angst #giyuu tomioka #giyuu x y/n #giyuu x you #tomioka x you #tomioka x reader #tomioka x y/n #kny giyuu #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu giyuu #kimetsu tomioka #kny tomioka #demon slayer giyuu #demon slayer tomioka #📂 — ` akira’s works!

[hobiebrownismygod]

Miguel x Desi!Reader - Wedding Edition

Request from @shadofireshinobi!!

This was really fun to write, I hope y'all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! There's lots of good representation in there and if you've never been to a Desi wedding, you'll probably enjoy learning about it <3

Synopsis: Miguel gets invited to an Indian wedding by Pav and asks you, his neighbor and someone who doesn't really like him, to teach him how it works. The two of you end up going together and have a great time.

TW: None, just a lot of fluff <3

____________________________________________________________

"No."

"Aww, come on, don't be such a party-pooper. You'll have fun!"

Miguel squinted at his AI, an annoyed look plastered across his face. "I said no. I'm not going to a wedding, Lyla."

"You can't turn down an invitation from Pavitr! Come on, do you need me to ask him to give you the 'look' again?" Lyla asked teasingly, teleporting in front of Miguel and shoving her phone into his face, Pav's puppy-dog expression visible on the FaceTime call she had him on. "How can you say no to that face?"

"Ugh."

Miguel waved her out of his way with a grunt. "Come on uncle, I promise you'll never go to a grander wedding! These people are close friends of my auntie's and I'm telling you, they put so much effort into their parties" Pav explained, his voice emanating from the phone Lyla had refused to put down. "Its not a normal wedding. Its an Indian wedding. What would I even do there? No."

Miguel was trying to focus on the screen in front of him, tracing out the dimensional map for some new anomaly chase he'd been planning on assigning out. "Come on, I'll explain it all to you! Or even better...you could have Y/N do it" Pavitr said with a grin, tilting his head to the side as he looked at Miguel through the screen.

Miguel froze at the mention of your name, his expression softening slightly. "You invited my neighbor?" he asked Pav, an dumbstruck look on his face. "Yes. She's very nice and she told me she hasn't been to a function in a long time. Besides, Maya Auntie told me to invite all my friends." Pav responded with a sly shrug.

"Since when are the two of you friends?"

"Since I helped fix her rooftop that your battle with that anomaly ruined."

"So its settled then. Miguel, you're going, final say." Pav gave Lyla a high five through the screen.

"No-" Miguel began to argue back, but the two of them were completely convinced. He knew there would be no point in trying to turn it down at this point, as Pavitr and Lyla would most definitely succeed in forcing him to this wedding, no matter how much he objected.

You were a very out-spoken civilian who lived fairly close to the bounds of the Spider Society. Because of this, you were often affected by the fights that would happen in and out of the society, some of these leading to actual property damage. Even then, your spirts were high and you ended up getting to know a lot of the Spider-people that passed by, even becoming friends with some of them, including Pav.

As for Miguel, the two of you had a complicated relationship. Miguel tried to be nice to you but you barely tolerated him. After all, he'd built his society next to the home your family had lived in for decades. He'd actually asked you to move and even offered to relocate you but you and your family had refused. And thats when you decided that he was a jerk and that you'd try to steer away from him and his problems.

But apparently, he needed your help now.

_______________

"You want me to take you to the wedding?"

"I want you to teach me how the wedding works."

You scoffed, arms folded over your chest as you stared at the tall man standing before the frame of your front door. "And why would I do that?"

He gave you a sheepish look, rubbing the back of his head. "Because I asked nicely?" You snorted. "That's a first." He sighed, "Look Y/N, I know I haven't always been the nicest to you, but I don't have a choice in this matter and I'd rather not be embarrassed at the wedding because I don't know what to do there."

You looked at him for a moment before groaning and muttered under you breath, "Fine." You opened the door all the way to let him inside, head hung in annoyance. He looked fairly uncomfortable too, shuffling in with his fingers fidgeting.

You gestured for him to sit down at the kitchen table and you sat down in front of him, leaning back and folding your arms over your chest. "You want something to drink or...?" He shook his head, still looking a bit awkward.

"Alright. Well, before I start, what do you already know?"

"Uh...nothing."

"Nothing?" He shook his head no.

"Okay. From the beginning then."

You spent a good thirty minutes explaining the intricate details of how Hindu weddings work to him, starting with the fact that they last anywhere from 3-5 days ("I'M GOING TO BE THERE FOR FIVE DAYS?" "No, only for a couple hours each day.") and the significance of each event. Then, you moved onto the attire, and even showed him pictures of all the things the guests would wear. Women would wear colorful saris while men would wear suits or kurtas.

"Please tell me you at least have a kurta."

"What's a kurta?"

You groaned. "I'll have Pavi drop one off for you." he nodded with a slight smile, leaning forward and resting his chin on his palm as he continued to listen to you speak. You told him about the food, and how it would be vegetarian on puja days but would probably have non-vegetarian options later on. ("You can't drink blood there by the way." "I don't drink blood!")

"Now, because you're not a close friend of the bride or groom, I'm guessing you'll only be attending on the third day. That's when the main ceremony is."

"What happens in the main ceremony?"

"The actual wedding. The other days are mainly just prayer days and for mingling between the families. But remember, its not like a western ceremony where we'll all sit down while the bride gets married. It'll be very Bollywood style."

"Bollywood?" He asked, cocking his head to the side slightly.

"Oh my god, I have to show you before we go!" To his surprise, you grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the couch, sitting him down before you began to search for the remote. He grabbed it off the coffee table and handed it to you with a smile, a bit taken aback by your excitement. "We?" he asked, sounding a little hopeful. "Were you planning on going with someone else?"

"No, no, it's just-"

"Besides, if I bring a date I won't have to worry about all those aunties trying to get their sons married to me." You said, shaking your head slightly as you turned on the TV. He stayed silent for a moment, trying to suppress the smile from forming on his face. "So I'm your date?"

"ah, here we go" you said, putting on K3G, one of your favorite Hindi movies. As the movie played, you pointed out the actors to him going "That's Shah Rukh Khan! That's Hritik Roshan!" despite him obviously not knowing who any of those people were. He just nodded along, watching you more than he watched the movie.

____________

The day of the wedding, you were in a rush getting ready, pulling on your sari hurriedly and fixing your makeup. You were wearing a dark green sari, with heavy jewelry that took ages to put on. Your earrings were also a dark green, matching with your outfit and making your skin and hair stand out beautifully. After you finished, all you had to do was wait for Miguel to show up.

The day you'd spent with him had been really nice. In fact, you found yourself liking him a lot more than you expected, considering how much you despised him at first. You were honestly really glad that he'd asked for your help, because otherwise you'd have never got to have so much fun rewatching your favorite Bollywood movie with him.

The doorbell rang and you rushed to open it, being greeted by Miguel standing in the doorway, wearing a sleek black kurta, courtesy of Pav. He stood there awkwardly, a slight smile on his face as he looked you over. "You look nice." he said quietly, as if he was embarrassed to admit it. "You do too." you felt yourself growing silent as you stared at him. He looked better than you'd expected. This man was full of surprises.

You cleared your throat and beckoned for him to come in. After filling him in on the details, and even giving him some bangles of your own to wear, the two of you were off to Pav's dimension. The moment you entered, it was like a blow to the face. The sounds, the sights, the smells, they were all almost overpowering.

The two of you head to the wedding venue, both fairly silent. "So...you ready?" You asked him, looking up to see his slightly nervous expression. He tugged at the collar of his kurta. "Yeah. I just feel a little...out of place."

"Don't. There's going to be plenty of other non-Indians there. Hobie and Gwen are coming too." You said, flashing him a reassuring smile. "Besides, you have me."

After entering the venue, the two of you greeted Pav who was there with Gayatri, being all smiles as usual. He pointed the two of you in the direction of the rest of the crowd where you introduced yourself to some of the aunties while Miguel followed like a lost puppy. He was noticeably taller than most of the people there, so it was a lot easier for you to find him than for him to find you.

As you greeted more and more people you found yourself slipping behind the scene, helping out with moving things and passing out food and party favors. Then, because Miguel was glued to you, he joined in as well.

You couldn't help but laugh to yourself as you watched all the aunties swooning over him. He seemed like the perfect gentleman in his traditional attire and with his helping hands on. It was sweet. "It's Miguel, right? Who are you here with? Your wife?" One of the aunties asked him, inspecting his kurta. "Uh, no, I'm here with a...friend." He said quickly, seeming a bit nervous. He noticed you looking at him and flashed you a quick smile before continuing to put things away with a little horde of women following him.

After at least an hour of helping out, you felt your feet starting to cramp, and decided to do a shoe change. After changing out of your heels into more comfortable sandals, you realized your jhanjharas didn't match anymore. So of course, you gave them to Miguel. "Can you hold these for me?"

He looked at you for a moment before taking them out of your hand. "What are they?" He asked, inspecting them carefully. "They're like anklets" you replied, already hearing someone calling your name to come help out again. "hmm." he responded, continuing to turn them around in his hands, dark gaze focused on the little gems and jewels decorating the thin material.

When he came to join you, you realized he wasn't holding them anymore. You opened your mouth to ask where he'd put them but then you saw, he'd put them around his wrists. You felt a blush forming on your face at the view. They looked so small around his wrists. You shook it out of your mind and continued what you were doing.

Eventually, as the event progressed, the actual wedding started. To entertain the guests, the bride and groom began their performative dance, a classic form of entertainment that most Desi weddings have. Miguel was standing next to you, arms awkwardly folded across his chest as he watched them perform, his eyes on you the entire time. "What?" you asked, returning his eye contact with a slight smile. "Nothing. I just...wasn't expecting a dance."

You laughed softly at this and continued to enjoy the performance as more of the guests joined in, the previously choreographed number turning into a mess of random people joining in and swaying to the music. Although a bit crowded, it was a lot of fun. You could see Pav and Gayatri dancing together and even caught a glimpse of Hobie messing around with some random Desi girl. Miguel seemed to notice this too and kept glancing at you until he finally mustered up the courage to ask, "So...would you like to join in?"

You looked at him, slightly surprised. "You want to dance?" You asked, giving him a sly grin. He shrugged quickly, looking away. "Well, everyone else is doing it. Besides, you look like you wanted to join anyways." he said quietly, trying to hide the small smile forming on his face.

With a teasing eye roll, you stretched out your hand towards him which he promptly took, and the two of you melted into the crowd. He was shuffling along at first, his height making it difficult for him to blend in with the rest as well as you did, but eventually he grew more comfortable and took your hands, swaying with you to the music.

You were focusing more on the bride and groom than on him, and you barely noticed when your bangles caught on the edge of his kurta's cuffs. He laughed quietly at your embarrassed expression as you tried to pull it away. "Here, let me" He said, gently taking your hand in his and removing the bangle. While you watched, he removed the fabric from the bracelet before sliding it back onto your wrist, eyes looking directly into yours.

Even after he'd placed it on, the two of you kept your eyes on each other, unwavering until he chuckled softly and looked away. "I wasn't expecting us to get to know each other so well" He said, looking at you slyly. "Me neither" you caught your breath, clearing your throat before stepping back slightly, but he held onto your wrist. "Hey, we're not done dancing yet, are we?" he asked as he pulled you closer again, fingers intertwining with yours.

"Its a good thing you were willing to come with me. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't be having this much fun" he said quietly as he timidly placed his hands onto your waist, your arms going around his neck. While the rest of the crowd danced wildly to the fast-paced music, the two of you took it slow, eye contact seeming more intense than usual. "I'm glad I took you as my date." You said with a smile.

"Anytime." he gave you a lopsided grin, shyness slowly melting away as he held you.

"Anytime?" You asked teasingly, tilting your head up at him slightly.

"Anytime."

Taglist

@therealloopylupin2099 @daydreaming-en-pointe @vileviale @s6onder @puff-hugs

#across the spiderverse #atsv #hobie brown #spiderman atsv #miles morales #spiderman #beyond the spiderverse #across the spider verse #pavitr prabhakar #miguel 2099 #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara #miguel spiderverse #miguel spiderman #miguel x reader #spider man 2099 #miguel o hara #spiderman across the verse #miguel x you #miguel x y/n #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x reader #atsv hobie #miguel ohara fanfiction #miguel ohara x y/n #sm 2099 #spiderman 2099 #miguel ohara #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel atsv

[fallenwhumpee]

Promise

• Part 1 • Part 2 • Masterlist •

Warnings: Medieval settings, blood, battlefield, dissociation.

"We are not taking that mission!" Healer shouted to Leader, their head stretched back to stare at Leader. "We don't take missions in villages. And this won't be an exception."

"Like it or not," Leader towered over them, putting a hand to their chest to stop them from getting closer. "We don't have any choice in that. We can't abandon our lands to the enemy. We will fight."

Leader watched as the anger got more intense in Healer's eyes.

"You will send us to slaughter! You know we don't do well in the missions involving civilians. The team..."

"No one will visit you after this." Leader cut sharply. "I promise. I won't let my team pull their usual stunts."

"You can't just stop them from taking a blow for some random stranger."

"Have more faith in me. When did I get us into something we can't handle?" Leader tried again. They needed Healer to see their point.

Healer looked at them for one more moment before sighing and averting their eyes. "But I'm not patching anyone after this."

"That's the spirit. Now pack up. We're leaving with the lunch."

Healer nodded, leaving Leader alone. Leader made their way to their room in the guild's barracks. They closed the door behind them slowly, letting their shoulders drop.

"I don't know what should I do," they admitted to the haunting heaviness hovering over them. A moment later, the familiar bone deep feeling of loneliness washed over them, and they had to lean on their desk to stay standing as their strength drained from their body for a moment.

"I can't  keep going on like this." They muttered to themselves  after it. This was getting beyond their control.

Stopping their thoughts to save their sanity, straightening their stance slowly. They walked over their wardrobe and pulled out a large shield, their sword and armour. They couldn't help but stare at them for a moment before starting to get dressed. The armour over their skin was the only thing that made them feel secure in those days. The only thing they felt like they belonged to.

Not their team.

Despite loving them dearly - and being loved back - Leader was not a part of the team. They were the sword and the shield between them and the enemy, but not a part of it. It was just according to the regulations. Leader couldn't afford to be among the people they were sworn to protect. It never ended well.

Slowly pulling the straps and locking the metal pieces into each other, Leader abandoned thinking altogether. A moment of peace was needed, and they found it relaxing just to do something and not think. They only left their helmet out, putting their long sword to its sheath on their back, placing the very large shield over it. Making sure it's secure, they packed two set of clothes and some water. They were ready to depart.

But their eyes lingered in the big room, checking it for a last time. Their bed was tidy, so the other... They averted their eyes. They forgot nothing. There was no need to torment themselves more.

Stepping out of the suffocating room, Leader felt heaviness linger over them for one more second, but they smiled when they saw their team and ignored the feeling.

"We are ready to depart." Right Hand walked a step forward. "Briefed about the mission. The place looks good for defence. I don't understand why they need reinforcements there."

"They need replacements. And I've heard it's nearing the end. The enemy is giving up. Just need some more pushing."

Leader walked past the team after glancing at everyone, the smile on their face not faltering despite the emptiness pulling their mouth down. They got into their house with one move, the shield messing with their balance a little. It was vast, even for Leader. They had never understood how...

No. Leader wasn't hoping to think about them. Leader had to keep their head there and then. They simply turned to the horizon and rode the horse.

"The battle will be already going on when we arrive," Leader said after they covered a significant distance. "I want you to stay close and work as one unit. You will just hold the defence until another order, either from the general leading the battle or from me. I need you to fight as long as you can, in the other words, do not try something idiotic because none of you will be useful if you're dead."

That gained some chuckles but also nods. Good. Leader needed them to stay alive and well. They made a promise, after all.

The rest of the ride was silent on Leader's part, listening to their comrades and keeping an eye on everything. They only slowed down once they reached the narrow gate, the last lights of sun already departed, leaving them in dark. The battle sounds began to give Leader goosebumps. They felt their heartbeat match with the distant clatter of metal and shouts, their hand instinctively reaching their sword.

The team hid the horses, getting ready to dive into the battle. Without a word, Leader drew their sword, the weight of it familiar in their grip. They blew out a breath and scanned the scene before them. Their focus shifted to their team.

"Stay close," they felt the need to warn.

Without further orders, the team advanced. The disgusting smell of blood-soaked soil once again filled their lungs, the ground beneath them shook. There was nothing, nothing that could distract them from doing what was right. They would not attack, never attack, but they also wouldn't hold back their sword raised to protect.

When Leader's blade met the enemy's for the first time, their focus was absolute, every movement precise and calculated. The clash of metal, the cries of the soldiers, and the roar of battle filled the air, a chaotic symphony that set their heart racing. They moved with a single-minded purpose, their sword an extension of their will, their body.

When their body caught up with their mind, they shifted their focus. Their limbs moved with the will to survive, while they could finally take off their mind from... all of that.

Their eyes found their team, which was holding themselves very well without any help. But Leader could see the telltale signs. Very few civilians were left on battlefield, but their team was already making a safe circle for them, but not as careful as Leader would like.

Still, Leader trusted their team. They trusted and went on, avenging their sword with swift motions. Their one eye was still on their team, and they could see the enemy finding more and more openings.

It was the last straw when they saw Teammate nearly dropped their sword under pressure.

"I hate doing your job," they muttered to the air, taking out their shield. They gripped the shield tightly, their focus shifting entirely to the task at hand. With practised precision, they positioned themselves between their team and the enemy, using the shield to deflect blows and create openings for counterattacks.

Blow after blow made Leader falter, their arms getting heavier from carrying the large shield with one and their heavy sword with the other. Still, they kept their footing as the shield absorbed blow after blow.

When the shield was slammed to their chest by another shield, Leader's breath were knocked out of their lungs, a crack sound lost in the loud clash of two sturdy metal. Leader gasped and relieved the pressure by stepping aside, the motion causing them to lose balance but gain some space. They swung their sword, managing to get under the armour of the enemy general— but also being the victim of the same move.

Their shoulder was stinging, the pain sharp and fresh and distracting, but Leader knew they couldn't afford that. They lunged forward, ignoring the strain they put to their shoulder as the pain only became another chaos in the background.

If it was in more friendlier terms, Leader could enjoy the fight with someone even to their strength, but on the battlefield, it only meant danger. A threat to get rid of. As Leader's sword clashed against their opponent's, their focus narrowed. They couldn't afford to be distracted against such opponent. With swift and calculated movements, they parried and struck, each blow getting harder to maintain.

Despite the burning pain in their shoulder, Leader pressed on, their movements fueled by adrenaline and the instinct to survive. With a final, decisive strike, they brought down their opponent, the clash of metal not banging in their ears for the first time as their sword cut the flesh.

With a weary sigh, Leader glanced around at the scene of the battlefield. The enemy forces were retreating, and the villagers were slowly emerging from their hiding places, cautiously reclaiming their homes. Their team, though battered and worn, stood strong beside Leader, thankfully without any injuries. Years of practised efficiency guiding them, they set up a small camp for their remaining, prioritizing the healing tents and such before finally setting up one for themselves.

Leader slid in without being noticed, a small basin of hot water on their hands. They didn't want to join the celebration outside when they felt so dirty after the battle, and they didn't have the strength to do so. Placing the basin next to their makeshift bed, they took of their armour, pain throbbing with their every move. They ripped the thicker set clothes they brought with them, soaking them with hot water and slowly but tightly wrapping their shoulder. They then wore the other set, hiding the handmade bandages. They didn't look terrible, at least.

Taking the remaining fabric, Leader begun cleaning their armour, the simple and repetitive motion calming their breaths and relaxing their muscles. While tending to their armor for what felt like an eternity, Leader's thoughts were empty, as if the cloth and water could wash away all of their problems. They set aside the cloth foe a moment before they took the shield, the metal gleaming faintly in the dim light of the small gas lamp, the blood over it turning to a dark coloir. They sighed heavily, feeling the weight of exhaustion settling.

They could wash their armour, their sword sloppily, but they could never think of doing that to the shield. Not their shield, the shield, that once belonged to Leader's dear friend, Caretaker. Leader smiled at the imaginary of Caretaker freaking over the possibility of their shield getting Rusty, but Leader's smile soon turned bitter. Caretaker would be freaking out, only if they had been alive...

Just as they were about to pick the cloth again, a voice broke through the silence of the tent.

"Leader?"

Leader glanced up to see Healer standing at the entrance, their expression a mix of concern and hesitation.

"Yes?" Leader replied, their voice as flat as ever.

Healer stepped inside, their eyes scanning Leader's weary form. "I... I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have questioned your judgment earlier. I understand now that you were doing what you thought was best for everyone, and I should've teusted you not to pick up a mission that may compromise the team. You were right on your promise. No one from our team visited me tonight."

Leader stated Healer for a moment, progressing the words. "It's alright," they assured. "I'm just glad that this ended well."

Healer nodded, smiling with relief. "I also wanted to invite you to join the celebrations outside. The villagers are grateful for our help, and they want to thank us."

Leader shook their head slowly. "I appreciate the invitation, but I think I'll pass.."

Healer's expression fell slightly, but they nodded understandingly. "I... Okay... Just know that you're always welcome if you change your mind."

"Thank you," Leader smiled softly. I'll keep that in mind."

With a final nod, Healer left the tent, leaving Leader alone with their thoughts once again. With not much left to do, Leader cleaned the shield while listening yo the celebrations and ignoring their thought before curling up into their bed, the lively chatter outside serving as the lullaby to defend Leader's mind feom nightmarish memories.

#whump #whump writing #leader whumpee #leader whump #medieval settings #battlefield #tw blood #dissociation #implied character death #?