#do need it? fuck you i'd rather starve to death

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

and shoutout to boots, the little brother ever, who wanted to know why he wasn't getting any of that delicious meloxicam

#when he needed it a few years ago it was a rodeo trying to get it in him #all the guinea pigs i've had are like that with critical care too #don't need it? it's the tastiest thing i've ever smelled PLEASE let me have some i am climbing the walls #do need it? fuck you i'd rather starve to death #boots #guinea pig

[readychilledwine]

Requiem for a Dream

Part one - Home

After 50 years without his mate, Rhysand is finally free and Home.

Warnings - Rhysand's SA trauma is alluded to, depression is alluded to, terrible self care is seen from Rhiannon the OC. Oh, and as always unedited 💜

A/n - this ended up being a 4 part thing, and they are all scheduled to be posted 2 days apart (because I don't want to make you all wait when I am PROUD of the final smut scene) Each jumps is month into Rhysand being home. Each part gets spicier with time. Each part was also written with different songs involved and in mind. "Home" by MGK, Bebe Rexha, and X Ambassadors was trapped in my mind during this part

Part Two Part Three Part Four

✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

Rhys collapsed on the floor of the House of Wind. He was panting before finally breaking down. His arms wrapped around his torso as sobs tore through him. "Rhys?!" The sound of heels slapping against the floor came before arms were around him. "You're home."

He found himself clinging to Mor, head buried into her neck. "Mor, what happened?" A deep voice came into the room followed by heavy foot steps. "Rhys? Az!" Mor pulled away, allowing Cassian to fall before Rhys and pull him into another tight hug. "Let's get you inside, brother."

Rhys allowed him to support him and move him into the living room. Shadows had begun to scurry, moving with a purpose as Azriel appeared in the room and then froze. He walked to Rhys as if he was seeing a ghost, his scarred hands holding his face before his own tears began to fall and they embraced.

"Why are we all gathered in the living room? Food is that-" Amren stopped mid sentence, dropping the flute of blood she was holding. Azriel released Rhysand, backing away to be held by Cassian as the ancient being approached. "Do not ever scare us like that again, boy."

Rhys couldn't help but to laugh and nod before feeling shocked as Amren buried her face into his chest and held him. The Inner Circle stood in silence and tears. Before the question Rhys had since landing finally came out of his mouth. His voice was broken, confidence leaving his body as he asked, "Where is my wife?"

—------------

Rhiannon was hunched over a desk. She was reading through countless reports that had suddenly shown up once the barrier broke.

She refused to go to dinner, choosing to instead distract herself with work. The House had tried pulling her chair from under her, a shadow had tried dragging her out of his office, and the faelights had flickered indicating to her someone had entered her home, but Rhiannon didn't move.

She'd rather work herself to death or starve than get her hopes up that her mate was finally home. She'd rather be burned on an Autumn Court Pyre than allow her heart to break any further than it had.

50 years. 50 long years without Rhysand. Without hearing his laugh. Without the smell of citrus and salt. Without feeling his hands on her body, his lips on hers. 50 years without hearing the sound of his voice. She was broken. Broken from the nightmares he unknowingly sent down the bond. Broken from his last words to her being a command to stay in the House of Wind. Broken from feeling the bond they had never closed grow colder than ice.

Another shadow came, Weaving into her hair to let her know her true brother, Azriel, was thinking of her. That he wanted her to come downstairs and eat. "Tell your master I will eat later. I'm busy reading 50 years of reports from Illyria."

—---------

Azriel sighed deeply, looking at Cassian and shaking his head. "She's going to work herself to death." Cassian whispered as they watched Rhys stare at her chair. "He needs her."

Azriel stood. "I will be right back." Rhysand shook his head, standing next.

"You stay. I'll go." He took his whiskey with him, moving out of the room. "I'll be back soon. I'll just pull rank on her."

—-------

Rhiannon sighed in annoyance as the door opened. "I told you I'd eat later, Az. Fuck off." Rhys watched her. Her long dark brown hair was falling in waves to her hips. Her hazel eyes were reading through paper after paper, marking things she had questions over before moving to the next.

She was wearing a beautiful black dress that dipped low in the front, allowing him a view of her tan skin, of her full breasts, her toned stomach. She was thinner than when he had left, causing his heart to ache. He sat across from her, slightly shocked when she didn't look up. He wanted to pull her into his lap, to hold her, to cry into her shoulder. But he would wait. Wait until they had spoken about the choices he made.

"Just say what you want to say and leave, Azriel. I'm genuinely not in the mood."

He chose then to open the bond. It flooded both of them, causing Rhiannon to drop the paper she was holding. "There's 50 years of things I'd like to say to you, wife." He took a sip of his whiskey as she was taking uneven breaths to try to regain stability from the emotions taking over her own. "I'd prefer to eat first though, and then we could speak later tonight at the River House. Away from everyone else." She gave him no reaction. Shock was sitting in the middle of their bond, blocking him from her feelings, her mind, her needs.

"Please come eat with us. I-" His eyes squeezed shut as her emotions began to hit him. Her longing, her love, her needs, her stresses. "I need us all to eat together. I need family dinner. The papers can wait. They've waited 50 years, darling."

Rhiannon stood, moving to be directly in front of her husband as he stood. She had not spoken. Hands shaking as she lifted them to touch his face before stopping. He realized slowly that she already knew. She knew what had happened to him. What he had done. "You were actually there in those dreams, weren't you?" His voice was broken as he tried to step away from her before her hands shot to his wrists. "Rhi-"

"Please don't pull away from me. I won't touch you without your permission. I'll do whatever you need. Just please don't do what I can feel you thinking about."

Rhys nodded. His own hands trembling as he laced their fingers together and took a deep breath. "It might be awhile, Rhiannon."

She shook her head rapidly. "I don't care. It doesn't matter as long as you are here. I'd wait forever for you." The sentence was all it took for him to pull her into his arms, releasing a sob of relief as she whispered how much she loved and adored him.

#acotar x reader #acotar #rhys x reader #rhysand x reader #rhys acotar #rhys fic #rhysand

[box-architecture]

CKAU: Part One of ???

I often find myself struggling to write the first chapter of the Communication Knife AU.

When I first started writing awesamdream, it was me spitballing ideas in the dreblr minecraft server when it first opened, and trying to have fun with a ship that, at the time, wasn't considered A Big Thing, or was purely for whump purposes. And while writing for an AU, Sif was also there, poking and tormenting lovingly as a Sif does, and mentioned the concept of Auspisticism, a homestuck relationship, in regards to Dream, Sam, and Punz. And then one thing led to another, and now I have this big thing that makes me happy and had grown a lot bigger than I expected it to, and there's so many little drabbles and snippets and smut pieces that came out of it, that by the time new people started asking what the hell I was talking about, I realized that the context wasn't properly put together and hard to explain.

So I tried to put together a whole fic for it! And it hasn't been going well.

Because I really want to do the fic justice. I want to make it sound really lovely and use all the right words and explain very well all the things that made me insane so you can understand just the way it went when all this started! But in trying to do that, it's become so hard to write. I feel stuck, the words won't come, I overthink and overedit, and nothing is good enough.

But I still really, really do want to explain the AU so you can understand. And i know it won't be the perfect, well designed thing I built in my head, with all the write prose and all the little extra fancy things, but I'd rather you have it imperfectly than not at all.

Here you go, part one of ???:

(Sam: he/him

Dream: he/him

Punz: they/he

just to make sure.)

When things get bad for Dream in prison, he offers Sam sexual favors in return for better treatment, food/blankets/etc., and Sam agrees to this, regardless of the terrible ethics involved. Its not a great situation, for like, Obvious Reasons, and the consent is very much dubious here. Sam's possessive behavior is at its peak, and even if there ends up being less torture as part of the deal, it doesn't change that things are still fucked up.

When Dream escapes prison and finds Sam during Daedalus Arc, after scarring Sam, Dream offers to meet up to have sex again next week, out of a need to feel in control, to prove how he was Totally Not Traumatized he was and how he was absolutely fully capable of consenting to it, and the two continue their sexual activities.

However, Punz, who has been in a comfortably open relationship with Dream since before prison, bristles at the idea of Sam taking advantage of Dream, of the severe power imbalance still being a problem, and comes with him to these sexual encounters to protect him and keep Sam from pushing Dream's boundaries. They set up some rules, and if Sam breaks any or steps out of line, Punz will stab him with a special, gaudy blue knife that has 'Communication' engraved in its handle.

--

"He tortured you!"

"Technically it was Quackity who did the torturing." Dream corrected him, meticulously sorting his inventory. Their base felt suffocating, tiny, and he wanted to be done and gone already, but Punz seemed ready to fight him the whole way.

"Don't give me that shit," Punz snapped. "Sam let him in, he starved you half to death, for God's sake, Dream, he r-"

"It was not." At breakneck speed, Dream turned on his heel and hissed. "I said yes. Don't you dare say I didn't."

"You weren't in a position to say no." Punz said fiercely. Something dark and angry crushed their heart in its fist. "You didn't have any choice-"

"I had a choice!"

The world seemed to stop moving, the air stale. Dreams breaths were shaky, heaving, and Punz realized with a lump in their throat that Dream was trembling from stress.

"I had a choice." Dream repeated. "And it was mine. Not his, not anyone's. I'm going to see him again, and that's my choice too. Not yours."

They could stop him, a little voice in the back of their head murmured. They could stop him and- and keep him safe. Prevent anyone else from hurting him again. They could say the right words that would cause him to falter ("for me." Punz had once pleaded, and Dream bent, as he always did) and then Sam would never touch him. They could even kill the creeper hybrid, to be sure. They would destroy the entire server with the Plan, and Dream would finally be safe.

But.

Dream needed this. Whatever he said, whatever he thought, he'd been denied agency for so long. The thought of them being the one to take it away, his friend, when they were supposed to be the one person on the server who he could trust… it made them feel sick.

Dreams trembling faded, and he straightened up, before he throwing his cloak over his shoulder.

Punz made his decision. "I'm coming with you."

"What?"

"I'm your backup, and your mercenary, and your partner. If Sam has a problem with it, just say you rehired me."

--

At the very beginning, the rules are this:

No Kissing. Punz doesn't think Sam deserves kisses, and they're vicious about enforcing this. Kisses are for Punz alone, and Sam is incredibly jealous.

No marks. Sam has tried to leave hickies or bruises, but it was quickly shut down. When he argued this, Punz told him that he could leave marks when all the marks (torture scars) he already made on Dream were gone.

No cuddling or aftercare. Since Sam insisted that the sex didn't mean anything, clearly that means he doesn't need to be involved in taking care of Dream after. Punz will take him away and they can be the one to hold Dream. (Not that Sam longed for that. He doesn't feel more desperate each time the two leave him behind. Of course not.)

The most obvious one: what Dream says goes. Sam isn't allowed to Override Dream and insist his way is better, and he isn't allowed to take whatever he wants without asking. If Dream needs a moment, or would like to change positions, or even just say he'd rather not, Sam must listen. Punz will make him listen.

And so every week all three of them get together, usually at the prison, and have sex. Its a very complicated, unhealthy dynamic, for a lot of different reasons.

Punz, usually able to gauge what Dream wants/what would make him comfortable, is left blind, because Dream is always a little uncomfortable here, always stressed, and Punz can't fix that. They're trying their best, and they know that Dream could shut down and be unable to express himself if the wrong button is pushed, but in the beginning its a mess. At some point he micromanages where Sam puts his hands, pushing and arguing with him over whose allowed to say where Sam can and can't touch, and neither of the two argue that it should be Dream.

It doesn't help that Punz is jealous. They don't want to be, especially not in this situation. But Sam's possessiveness of Dream, the way he taunts about knowing Dream in ways nobody else possibly could- it sets off that part of Punz that has always been so self-satisfied with his place as Dream's most intimate companion, the other half of his soul.

(Its the server's second stupidest dick measuring contest where they accidentally objectify Dream in the process, while they also compete to see who Dream likes more.)

Sam, on the other hand, is constantly having to reckon with the fact that he wasn't actually as good as he thought he was. Punz doesn't let him get away with spewing the same lines of crap and insisting he's always right. Sam also considered himself A Good Lover and good at getting Dream off (the only one who knows him, who knows him Best), and his ego takes a fucking hit when Punz corrects him. When Punz points out that certain things were actually harmful/not enjoyable, its hard for Sam to accept because it means he fucked up and made assumptions in his head and Punz rubs each of those in.

Sam tries to defend himself by pointing out that Dream went along with it, and which leads to Punz pointing out that he didn't have much of a choice/wasn't in a good situation to make that choice at the time, and that's the one time it nearly comes to blows between them before Dream speaks up to tell them both to knock it off.

(Sam discovers One (1) kink that Punz doesn't know about and he's so fucking smug about it despite fucking up literally everything else.)

(No matter how many wins Sam thinks he gets during their weekly time together, Punz still gets to take Dream home, do aftercare and keep him safe. Sam hates how much he wants that too, despite the fact that according to his own weird moral code he shouldn't.)

And as much as this is most definitely causing more issues, it does leave Dream actually feeling more in control of his situation.

He gets so much praise now! This is basically therapy but better! He even gets aftercare with no torture. He's getting good dick and most of his kinks are getting hit, truly luxurious for a cDream. He's a lot more confident and content, and he isn't constantly on the defensive, because if Punz says he didn't deserve what happened to him, even if its just a single person, Dream doesn't have to fight to prove that he's a person deserving of basic human decency.

But the Most Important Thing That Makes All This Take The Turn It Does: At first, Sam thinks that the proper solution to all of this is to get Dream all to himself again in his prison where he belongs and not fixing his behavior any more than what he needs specifically to get there.

However, during an very short period of time where Sam is able to be with Dream without Punz there to scrutinize, Sam attempts to do stuff like how he used to before Punz, to prove he doesn't need him, that they don't need him.

But now he knows, he knows that Dream isn't actually into a lot of the things he was trying, or at the very least he likes other things more. He had it proved to him, and he's aware that things can be a lot better. Dream's clearly nervous, anxious, and not super into this, and Sam can tell, and now all he can see are all those little signs that he's fucking up, and it's getting into his head.

In the end, he can't even get himself to go through with it, because now it feels wrong and he can't ignore that. He makes an excuse, and he's frustrated and aggressive, but he doesn't try this again without Punz there.

Mentally he can justify it as Punz would kill him if he did. This is just a matter of self-preservation.

But quietly his plans adjust to not just needing to get Dream under his control. He'll need to get Punz too in order for things to be perfect.

#communication knife au #awesamdrunz #there are parts of this that are words that Sif wrote because a lot of the stuff was us rotating together #she gave me full permission to use them before I even asked dkfjghdkfgh<3 #Sif is one of the best rotation friends genuinely. we love and cherish Sif in this house

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for arranging a whole bunch of needless death and violence for mostly entertainment purposes?

I'm immortal. Not the boring, "a stake in the heart will end everything" kind of immortal— I mean the well and truly cannot die sort. (Well. That did get proven wrong eventually, but that's a story for another day.)

So anyway, as you might imagine, a life as long as mine gets rather boring. One century, when I was particularly bored, I ventured down to this city— a grim old city, the sort of place where the rain beats down like coffin nails and the air wafts with the cigarette stench of betrayal.

I felt right at home.

To occupy my time, I took over the vast processor made up of the consciousnesses of everyone who'd ever died in the city, which was used to power the entire place. This established me as something of a powerful person in the city, meaning when desperate people needed some very particular favors... Well, I was just the person to ask.

Some special few of these desperate people took my interest. A starving artist type, willing to do anything to fish his lost lover's consciousness out of the processor. A ruthless numbskull trying to buy his way out of his father's debt. A blind and disgraced doctor needing a way out of the city. An heiress to a family with a sullied name, trying to rebuild her parents' empire.

I brought this not-so-merry crew together and set them the task of finding a way into a secret vault that was said to contain something that could take down the processor and the powerful families running the city. I promised them all that, should they succeed, they would get what they needed to achieve their respective goals. Whether or not I planned to come through on that promise is irrelevant, seeing as they're all dead now.

So they got down to the vault, and the big guy, the one with far too many muscles and far too few brain cells, set about trying to beat the code to vault out of its creator, a tortured drunken ex-soldier who'd seen far better days. When that failed, "the suits" as I'd been calling them, thus named for their matching pinstripe outfits (my personal touch), started going through the four tasks or Trials needed to open the vault without the code.

First, a trial of wits. The doctor fellow made short work of this one, using the cables winding from his empty eye sockets to deal with whatever program the computerized lock was running.

Next, a trial of strength. A rather dramatic way of saying the big guy had to turn a heavy wheel.

Third, a trial of song. The young, lovelorn musician sang his heart out about his troubles and regrets. All very moving, I'm sure. The third lock was opened.

Now, for the fourth. A trial of love. What I failed to mention to any of them beforehand, was that the fourth and final trial required one of their number to sacrifice themself without hesitation.

This had been meant for the heiress, who was said to be madly in love with a famous hero of the city, but as it turned out, their entire dalliance had been a scheme to try to regain her social standing after her parents' grievous and very public misstep (which had cost some dozens of people their lives.) So, she was out.

The delicate musical lad offered himself up, but he couldnt see it through. He stepped into the chamber, braced himself, but at the last second he fucked it up. He looked back.

At this point, a friend of mine, the one that really wanted that vault opened, who'd been watching the whole ordeal, stepped forward. Hed figured out that the "without hesitation" caveat was tested by a simple motion sensor inside the chamber, so told the suits that three of them would get a pay increase if they tied up the fourth and shoved them into the chamber. Didnt matter who, so long as the vault was opened.

In the ensuing chaos, our bloodied, beaten little war hero took their chance. They used one of the last three laser shots left in their blaster, shooting it through the large diamond they kept in their pocket, which split the one beam into many. A shot for each of the suits and my friend. Some even got two.

And so, all outside the vault was blood and death. And our broken soldier, they got up, and they put in the code to the vault.

Inside was nothing special. Not if you were expecting some great weapon or hoard of riches or anything. It was just a tree— the very last one on the planet— and a patch of grass. But it was more than that. It was the only place on the planet one could go to die a true death, without their mind being trapped in a half-conscious hell to power the city for the rest of forever.

And that was just what they did.

The vault sealed behind them, never to reopen.

So anyway! TLDR AITA for arranging a kind-of-heist mission that I knew had a decent chance of ending with everybody involved dying mostly because I was bored?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[devilfemdom]

Body type headcanons for every character

These are my headcanons based on canon and what would make the most sense, this disregards their sprites.

I'm not set on what I think of Lucifer. He is either thin or has a Dad bod. But I tend to thin, because he works through many nights and skips meals often. He mainly runs on coffee, that can't possibly build muscle. Also he doesn't care much about his appearance, as long as he looks proper and clean, so I don't think he cares enough to cram working out into his routine. He has a more build back because of his demon form. Four wings are heavy as fuck and flying takes effort. Which he needs to do often, thanks to Mammon and his shenaningans.

Mammon would probably be more fit. Canon depiction would make sense. He is always on his feet, because of ADHD, his scams or Lucifer chasing him. He'd probably have the most muscles on his legs and the back. He is the fastest demon, after all. I don't think he'd had a six-pack though. He always eats cup noodles and if he works out, he doesn't seem to do that regulary. He'd probably work out more when a modeling gig comes around.

Leviathan is chubby, you cannot change my mind. Yes he likes swimming, but he rarely ever gets the chance to. I only remember once it being mentioned; in the Summer Event 2021. But him pulling all nighters, binging anime while only surviving of his stored snacks is mentioned many times. Also it is often mentioned that he doesn't like overexerting himself. Luke told him to go to a doctor cause having that few muscle strenght is not normal. Common people, he barely ever leaves his room, this motherfucker is not toned, he is chubby, we all know it.

Satan looks like an average guy to me. He never works out and prefers lounging while reading. But he also doesn't overeat or eat unhealthy food for a long period exclusively.

Asmodeus is trying his damn hardest to maintain a thin figure, but he is a sweettooth. His weight fluctuates a lot. He breaks his diets often. He also doesn't work out because he doesn't want to have visible muscles. He goes from chubby to thin often. I'd say he leans a bit towards chubby most of the time.

Beelzebub is fucking jacked. He works out a lot and looks like a fucking bodybuilder. His eating habits are serving him for once, else these gains would be impossible.

This demon looks starved to death. Belphegor gives his food to Beelzebub often. And doesn't seem to like eating particulary, he'd rather see his twin happy while eating (Beel is probably worried for him and bring him smth to eat every once in a while). Belphegor doesn't work out or even move much either.

Diavolo. This is a tough one. He is always working, I doubt he uses his little free time to work out. Also he always has plenty of food, thanks to Barbatos' wonderful cooking. I'd say he has a Dad bod.

Barbatos looks like he is skinny but has a lot of mucle strength, like a ballet dancer. Incredible control over his body, but not visible to the eye. He barely sleeps, is always moving, thanks to his job and I've once seen a comic strip of him carrying a wasted Diavolo back to the castle, and I like this headcanon.

Luke, I'd say he is a bit chubby because of all the sweets he makes and tries to perfect. He'd have to taste-test quite a bit and he likes sweets too so he probably eats his creations often. The average sweets-liking kid.

Simeon could be a bit chubby, skinny, average or toned, he is in the middle of the scale, not particulary tipping to either side. I can't decide. Simeon's habit aren't often discussed. I think he has a lot of discipline towards food, so he could be toned. He is not the athletic type though. Him being able to fly is only once mentioned, in the Gemstone event of 2021. As for now I headcanon him to be average, cause he is not athletic but also not much of a foodie. He does cook and Luke offers him sweets all the time, but Simeon never eats not in moderation, as far as I've seen. He likes sharing his cooking rather than eat it all himself. But he is a bookworm, so it'd make sense.

Solomon is a skinny bitch. He pulls all nighters regulary and I headcanon that he pushes his limits all the time, forgetting he is a human and needs sleep. He'd rather work on his spells than sleep or eat. And the food he cooks doesn't look like it has any nutritional value. He looks like he lives off caffeine and sweets, that Luke brings him from time to time, because he is worried. (Him working on spells multiple days and nights, non stop, has been mentioned in a chat before, and Luke bringing him snacks bc of it. I think this happens regulary.) So skinny it is.

Raphael is a diligent angel and is rather strict with moderation stuff. He also seems to train a lot, so I think he is toned. Although he loves Solomon's food, it has no nutritional value.

Thirteen is lazy and only does something if she enjoys it, like building traps. So I think she is average, she has a bit chub though.

Mephistopheles is average but a bit chubby leaning. He is a rich kid so he eat healthy, (he doesn't even know what a burger is). But he is very dedicated to his newspaper club, so he stays often put and doesn't work out.

#Obey me headcanons #Body type headcanon #headcanon #obey me hc #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me luke #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me raphael #obey me thirteen #obey me mephistopheles #obye me all characters

[chaiisms]

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE PROMPT LIST - PART 1.

prompts taken directly from the transcript of the musical - please go support starkid and their work! this list covers the first two songs of the musical and the surrounding scenes.

PROLOGUE.

" Help! Somebody help me please! "

" Wait’ll you get a load of this mess. "

" I leave Chicago cuz of the blood and guts, and what do you know? They got ‘em here too. "

" That’s not all. Killer left a little love note for us. Penned in his victim’s blood. "

" We’re a little out of our depth! "

" Jesus… How the hell did this happen?"

HIGH SCHOOL IS KILLING ME.

" The nightmare started there but now has spread. "

" Someone comes for me, I'm unprepared. "

" You can’t cut through all the tension. "

" It’s a hell on earth you know, "

" It’s a cruel and unusual brutality, "

" I'm so fucking dead! "

" I was up so late last night, "

" And I can survive it for only so long! "

" And I’m just realizing, I’ve never introduced myself. "

" We’re friends. Aren’t we? "

" I don’t know. Are we? "

" I got left behind this morning. Bus driver’s a fucking asshole. "

" Please. Don’t you wanna help me out? "

DETENTION.

" That little snitch! "

" I don’t need this kind of attention. "

" So you don’t want to be bullied? "

" No! I want to be invisible. "

" Then why do you come to a public school dressed in suspenders and a fucking bowtie? "

" Ugh. I’d rather starve to death. "

" You’re, like, famous! "

" This outfit is a tapestry of my trauma. It is designed to provoke as little teasing a possible. "

" Huh. I didn’t know you were funny. "

" I can’t let him see me talking to you! "

" Who are you running from? "

LITERAL MONSTER.

" You’re not him you’re a loser, "

" It’s best to drop and play dead, "

" You better leave your hopes behind, "

" No one's gonna stop him, "

" You better hope you're out of sight "

" Never look in the eye, "

" He's a literal monster! "

" I swear to god he has fangs, "

" No one to blame if there's no accuser. "

" I've gotta get to remedial algebra. "

" Meaning I’ve gotta walk through this hallway. And I don’t need you stinkin’ it up. "

" Well, there’s a difference between intent and impact. "

" I think for this hallway infraction, I’m gonna have to issue a Flick-It Ticket. "

" Sorry. I’m fresh outta your favorite food. "

" She’s, like, uh… a total two-bagger! "

" Nobody, and I mean nobody, talks that way… about [muse name]. "

" You don’t know me very well, do you? "

" I know behind closed doors, repressed chicks are the biggest freaks. "

" Watch some porn, you'll see. "

" Don't call me that. "

" I'm the reason you run and hide. "

" You all look disappointed, "

" So keep on judging me, "

" That comes with infamy, "

" You can watch as I rise! "

" I will claim what is mine. "

STEPH, MAYOR LAUTER AND MISS TESSBURGER.

" This is politics, learn to multitask! "

" We are within the margin of error, and you are doing everything you can to fuck things up! "

" It's like you don't care about this campaign at all. "

" Next time you're going to cheat, do it like a [surname] and don't get caught. "

" I'd like to have an intelligent conversation, if you don't mind. In other words, shut up. "

" There's nothing you can threaten me with. "

" I'll be careful with it. I'll carefully smash it with this hammer. "

" Not even you would do something this evil... "

" It'd be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. "

" I don’t care if you have to lie, cheat, steal, or shock-of-all-shocks: read a book for once in your life. "

more to come!r

#rp prompts #roleplay prompts #rp prompt #rp memes #rpc #prompt list #roleplay meme #rp meme #nerdy prudes must die #starkid #npmd #hatchetverse #revisms #chaiisms

[carpenoctemnyx]

Every single little moment in NPMD in order that just scratches my brain in the best way. I mean tbh the whole show does, but these moments are what the tism is grasping onto.

(WARNING: Its a LOT of moments, so theyre all under the cut since the post is so fuckin long)

"And I can survive it for only so long"(all of them)

The "im so fucking dead" from the ensemble during steph and pete's convo

"'CHEATER!!' 'OH GOD BUTT OUT CHASITY!!'"

"My melody! My melody! My melody"

"AWOOO! AWOOO! RAWR!"

"Grace just be cool! NEVER!"

"Im so fucking dead! YEAH!!"

"No! I wanna be invisible! Then why do you come to a public school dressed in suspenders and a fuckin bow tie?"

"Sycamore? I'd rather starve to death."

"Oh my god!! YOU'RE Micro-Peter! Oh, god."

"This outfit it the tapestry of my trauma!"

"Anyone every do this? *snap* Every damn day. My titties are tenderized!"

"It's polish."

"Spankoffski! Who are you running from? Ehh."

"He's straight ahead!"

"You wont defeat his kind. Never look in the eye. He's a literal monster!"

"Everyone knows how he BANGS!"

"He roars, and we cry, hes the reason with no why. He's a literal monster! A damn literal monster!"

"It's 3rd period, Shit-lips. I gotta get to remedial algebra."

"I never intended to walk through your hallway. Ohhh well theres a difference between intent and impact."

"FUCKNUGGET!!"

"Haha YEAH! NO dumbass!"

"Ohhh sorry! Fresh out of your favorite food! I guess im just gonna have to flick it!"

"Ohhhh a two bagger? Hahahaha! Whats a two bagger?"

"Oh!! That's so sick bro! Thats so fuckin funny! PYAHHH *punch sound*"

"Get him up!! Get this fucker up!!"

"Now deposit this trash in the nearest receptacle."

"Haha haha hahaha! Spunk! You're funny."

"*appalled* carry my books!?"

"Chasity, come on! You're breakin my balls."

"You dont know me very well, do you??"

"Watch some p0rn! You'll see! Tell me im wrong dirty girl. Dont call me that!"

"My little dirty girl *that one audience member OHHH*"

"And his name is Jesus Christ!"

"Forbidden fruit, dick hole!"

"You can leave, but you wont, stay in your seat!"

max's lil dance when hes singing "better leave your hopes behind no ones gonna stop me" that leads into that lil airplane arms move

also including the dance move with kyle "you wont defeat his kind, never look in the eye"

"You can watch as i rise! I will claim what is mine!"

"Learn to multi-task!"

"Well, well. If its not my october surprise."

"Stephanie, please, I'd like to have an intelligent conversation with you. In other words, shut up."

"Hooow ominous"

"Hey that looks like my... phone. It is."

"Please daddy?"

"NOO!! *dives forward and shoves hand in the way* Did you just put your hand BETWEEN the hammer and the phone??? ...yeah..."

How... am i supposed to study withOUT LISTENING TO SPOTIFY!?!? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?? YOU'RE KILLING ME WITH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!! If only, Stephanie. If only."

"This project's on thermo-dynamics. What the fuck are you talking about?"

"God! I just want someone to touch me! Anyone, PLEASE! Jesus! Calm down Ruth."

"Somebody walks to the office with Stephanie LauTer and suddenly he's Stefan Urquelle."

The way Richie Says peTe and uuusing you

"What was it like when she touched your arm? DID YOU CUM??? Ruth! Quit it!"

The way Richie says peTeR

"I'll never hold the real Rei and Asuka in my arms"

The way Pete says "Sorry!" To Ruth when his phone is ringing

The way Richie says TelemArkeTer

"NANI!?!?" *Ruth and Richie creeping towards Pete*

"What is she saying? What the FUCK is she saying!?"

"Oh my god!! Oh my god!! What's the matter with you guys!?"

"WEEOO WEEOO!!"

"I'm actually the smart one in the group, if you can believe that."

"Really Ruth? A star wars analogy? Need i go into why Attack On Titan is superior in EVERY possible way!?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!! Excuse me? Uh, not you. Just these two FUCKING nerds that wont leave me alone."

"They dont call it a cram session for nothing! Watch some p0rn! You'll see!"

"You're telling me I gotta be funny, AGAIN? I didnt do it on purpose the FIRST time!"

The way Richie says opportunity. It sounds like opportudidy

"Thats your perspective"

"Oh whoa whoa oh"

Then again im deranged"

"What if people see me as someone other than who I am"

"If i can finally be cool i will know that im not a loser!"

"I'm the ruler!"

"OHHHH! *crowd cheers* SHUT UP!"

"EUGH!! So you're a POOR piece of shit then?"

"Well im sick of your sh-sh-shit"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP JASON!!"

"I dont give a fuck what she said! I did not consent to this rendez-voos!"

"I decide if Kyle can date Brenda. *turns to Jason* The answer's still no... by the way!"

"I willed it into existence"

"Im your God. Now on your knees, bitch. It's time to say your fuckin prayers! *cuts to the Chasitys* Amen!"

"Mmm, that house. What's wrong with it? Its haunted. Everyone says so."

"DAD GROSS!!"

"Mom will you pass the butt stuff? The butter. Butter. Will you pass the butter? Eheh I just want some head and butter. BREAD! BREAD! Bread and butt sex to go with this big shaft of meat im gonna choke down. Ohhhh boy. Oh criminy!"

"And theyre flyin reaaal low today"

"Some big, dumb, sexy, sweaty, hooot, football star"

The way Grace says "Hello??" When fantasy Max is calling her name

"Im hungry, and here you are brewing up a big ol' pot of dirty girl soup *siffs aggressively* ahhhh! My favorite!"

"You call my bath water dirty girl soup? This is wrong! This is sooo wrong"

"I know!" *max rips off his jacket and the crowd screams*

"I love... to FUCK!"

The entirety of Dirty Girl Soup song but extra extra emphasis on certain parts

"Hey boo, daddy needs a little of that dirty soup"

"You're lookin all filthy like, you know its wrong i know its right"

"I'll never ever tell ya to behave i am expecting you to be-betray me"

"Ima love you all night long" including Max's lil hip thing

"Oh! Dirty dirty girl wont you sing for me wont you love me like you dont care. (all of these esp the ones with Grace)

"Hey brute"

"Its clear you never stepped in a classroom" including Grace's lil dance move here

The way Grace says School

"For shame. I am expecting you to be-behave" including Grace's lil dance move here too

"On your knees pray along, if you wanna last until dawn"

And then the dirty dirty girl section including the dance

"RAH-AHH" *hand wave thing* and the second one of this too

"Got me hungry for more. Hungry for more."

"Im a im a im a good girl x4 WHO ON OCCASSION GETS DIRTY!!"

Again cue the dirty dirty girl bit + dance

Grace's lil shaky moan thing after "poisons the air"

"Damn these wandering hands! Damn these sinful loins!"

"This is a no-moan household!"

".....I'll get the plunger...."

"Girl! That must be so embarrassing for you."

"Standing up the mayor's daughter like he's got no fucks to give? Not gonna lie. Thats really sexy."

"Oh my god! The fucking bowtie kid??"

"Hey uh... dweeb! *both Richie and Ruth respond* yeah?"

"Oh shes touching meee! Luckyyyy!"

"Its better than i even imagined" *cute lil twirl*

"And what, pray tell, may that be, Stephanie?"

"God, you suck, Grace."

"Isn't this like breaking and entering? Im not breaking anything. My dad's the realtor!" *jingles keys*

"Hacked em to bloody bits!"

"PottyPants? How about PissyPants? Im not comfortable with the plan if it involves that kind of language."

"Im not comfortable with this place. Its not structurally sound."

"Don't bully me!"

The whole Bully the Bully song but extra extra emphasis on specific parts

Grace's lil snap and spin moment

"Petey gonna jump on out" *Pete's lil move here*

Ruth saying "we're gonna cut off his nips!" And then Richie's lil shimmy move

"Ahhhhahhhh"

"Richie the whole point is that its in the dark! Well then im gonna have to shoot the whole thing in a wide, and its gonna look like shit!"

"No! We're gonna be cool beans. We're gonna keep the beans cool. We're gonna gonna keep the beans, beans the cool, keep the beans, the cool, keep the beans, bean school. Beans school? Excellent!"

"I still wanna talk.... Hello...? Hello....? Hello? Who was that? My boyfriend! Sounded like a telemarketer. Okay, my EX boyfriend."

"You're the best friend ive ever had. Oh thats sad. I think im in love with you. Okay..." *walks away*

"Am i reading as ghost, or Lin Manuel Miranda?"

"You kinda look like that homeless guy from downtown. Ohhh. But that could still work, he gets pretty scary sometimes."

Ruth's lil butt wiggle

"I mean you could just hit it and quit it, bro! Yeah... I dont want to though... You're fuckin useless pete!"

When Max walks up and burps and says "i gott piss" and this does a cute lil bouncy move

"Oh shiiiit. Wheres that creepy music comin from?"

"do it alfuckinready"

"Who's there? Maaaaax Jagermannn. WHAT!?"

"Oh shit! Oh fuck! Its a fuckin ghost!"

"Its time to stop running!" *chugs bear and smashes the can on his head and yeets it, then puts up his fists* "float over here ghost,* starts punching the air* im gonna kick your fucking ass!"

"Uhhh you cant fight me im an etheral being soooo... we'll see about that. Ima make you say boo-hoo, bitch! *charges at pete and pete runs away screaming* YESSSS I MAKE THE DEAD RUN IN FEAR!!! I AM JAGERMAAAAAN!!! I AM GOOOOD!!!! GOOO NIGHTHAWKS!!!"

*skele-ruth runs ins and does her lil scream thingy* "oh shit! Oh fuck! I didnt think there'd be a skele'en here! Im so fucking scared of skele'ens! Maybe i should just run! Where, Max?? Back home so Dad can call you a little cuck?? Can't even fight off one lousy skele'en?? No! I got not choice! Hey, Skele'en! I got a bone to pick with you, bitch!"

"It's working for me! He's sooo violent!"

Ruth's lil yelp after steph tells max to stop

"Steph we cant have a party here! This place is hella haunted!"

"It's all a prank. A trick to scare the shit out of you cuz you deserve it. What??? You're telling me you nerds put this whole thing together just for me? Wow. I though you guys hated me. But thanks. This was really great. You're not pissed? Oh! Are you kidding?? Nonono this is like THE nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

"Ohhhh! And the skele'en. Oh. That was really special" *Max bows to Ruth*

"Look what you fuckin nerds made me do! I pissed my fucking pants! ....mission accomplished???" *Pete signaling to cut it out and Ruth and Grace behind him like wtf Richie*

"This wasnt murder! And it wasnt an accident! It was an act of God!"

"Oh yeah! Like thats gonna hold up in court! He was smote!"

Grace's snap and spin again and Richie groaning "oh nooo shes snapping again!!"

"We're gonna hack all his limbs off! Did you say hack all his limbs off?? Yeah! We're gonna hack all his limbs off!"

"You want me to films this!?!?!?!"

"Aaahhhahhhh"

"Thank god Max is gone. Wasnt he your friends?? YEAAAAHHHH but he forbade me from dating, AND he wrecked my dad's Ski-Doo. FUCK that guy."

"Good news! You passed the test?? With flying colors! Oh-ho! Aaaaaa C+"

"Ya know, this is really your C+. Oh... Steph... you can keep it. It'd really bring down my GPA."

"No, Jagerman doesnt let nerds go to footba-... huh... you know maybe i will."

"Go, go Nighthawks! We'll take the fight unto the victors go the spoils! Go, go Nighthawks! We're taking flight we are the leaders and the royals! AHH-AHH!" Including the lil bird wing flappy thing

"N! I-G! H-T! AHH-AHH! KS!"

And the dudes in the background goin "Night! Hawks! Night! Hawks! Fly!"

"Fuuuck you Clivesdale go get fucked! You're fuckin losers, and we'll kill you! Kill your ass!"

They're my bros for life!"

Richie struggling to take off the mascot costume

"Ohhh. I remember what /I/ said. Do you? You FUCKIN NERD?"

"That aint good news for you, ya bitch"

"You shouldve joined the smoke club, you nerdy prude! NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE! *cue Jon bein fuckin goated at imitating a levitation* Nerdy prudes must diiiie!"

"I want you to repeat after me. Okay... Who will pray for me? Who will pray for me? When im gone? When im gone? Until another Richie, comes along. Can you repeat that one? WHO WILL PRAY FOR MEEE WHEN IM GONNNE OR IS THIIIIS THE ETERNAL DARK WITHOUT A DAWN! Who will pray for you? Who will pray for me? When your body's gone? When my body's gone? This is the consequence for what you've done! I'M NOT A LOSER! WHAT DID YOU SAY!?! ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵏᶦˡˡ ᵐᵉ. Im not a nerdy prude. Im not a loser! Of course nooot, Richiiie."

“He wasn’t sexy at all… MAMA IM CURED!!!”

“Shoot n shinola!”

“Mornin Daaaaadddy!”

“You don’t say? You don’t say! Welllll I’ll be down there in a jiffy! What did they find dad? They didn’t say!”

“Gosh! I hope it’s not termites! Haha”

“Ohhhh heck. I’m so heckin fudged!”

When the gang is getting called to the principals office and Pete just says “oh no” in like a monotone-y way

“Dont look at me! Get your hands out of your pockets! ….sorry sir….”

The reluctant “go nighthawks”

“Shut the fuck up Ruth!”

“We lost to CLIVESDALE!! FUCKIN *kicks chair* CLIVESDALE!!!”

“Yeahhh… thanks for NOTHIN!!!”

“Yes Ruth! We are fucked!”

“People tell me to die everyday!”

“Someone spilled the beans! All our cool beans!”

Again Ruth’s “Don’t bully me!!”

Pete’s lil “no” when Grace accuses him

“I’m gonna get those pigs off our backs!”

“Shock! Despair! Tragedy!"

“I’ve never known darker times, and I covered the protest live at the Hatchetfield Kennel! I am Dan Reynolds! With action news, week days at 10pm.”

And down down down down, who’s swinging the hatchet now in hatchet town! Someone’s got their hands on the hatchet handle. Swingin on the youth it’s a hatchet scandal. Careful or your folks will end up a cannibals plate. It ain’t great! You’re better on the run than you are hiding, suddenly this quiet town’s exciting.”

“I heard that their brains were soup, their intestines cut in two. So it’s gotta be Donna! What??? Yeah it’s gotta be Donna! DAAAAN!?!?!”

“I certainly don’t LOVE killing”

“Barry’s on the loose and he’s got a gun, and he’s got a motive to kill. IM IN A HURRY!!!”

“Get your hands off me!!!”

“Careful or your kids will end up on Charlie’s plate. Excuse me?? He just ate! How dare you!”

“Singing all these songs gives him greater windows to kill, but we’re singing still!!”

And now THIS PART. The ENTIRETY OF BRYCE CHARLES’ SOLO. It’s fucking transcendent!!!

“Until GERALD! went on his murder spreeeee! I KNEW IT WAS GERALD!! Linda, call my lawyer. Let’s kill him!!”

“Can I shit or will I drown??”

“Ohhhh barbecue monologues, eh? I saw that in New York. Really? How was it? Fuckin ✨transcendent✨”

Joey's whole monologue thing here but extra emphasis on “Every Kah-bob”

“I wanna remember who I am….”

Trevor’s “My barbecue!”

*ruth throws hands up* “I guess!”

“Betcha I could do it! Betcha I could!”

“in my dream, it’s MY barbecue!” *ruth’s little arm wave thing*

“How can something be medium AND well?”

“All of the trappings of the well to-do!”

“And life is fine, if only it were mine.”

“Judge me!”

“And the world’s a stage, when you’re middle of age.”

“It’s well done on the outside, not within! OOOH!”

“Oh ohhh just for once! Just for once! Just for oooooonce!”

Ruth’s cute lil tap dance move

“I used to dance. I used to dance”

“Oh nooo my anxiety *gags* I’m gonna hurl!”

“I believe your next line is AAAAHHHH”

“Project Ruth! They can’t hear you in the back row! Ow, my butt! You’re splitting me in two!”

Max slowly putting the “underwear” over Ruth’s head and then petting her

“Take a bow, bitch!”

The theater director’s dramatic screaming

“No nonono! You can’t do this to me okay?? This isn’t my fault! This isn’t my plan! Woah woah woah who’s place was it Grace? IT WAS GODS PLAN!! And now he’s leaving me out to dry! DO SOMETHING YOU SON OF A BITCH!!”

“Don’t! FOLLOW ME!”

“And he gives me his numberrrr! Very smooth!”

“EXCUSE ME! *audience screaming* I have been waiting for what feels like five fucking years and I STILL have not received my goddamn hot chocolate! Sorryy sir *deadpans fake spitting* here you go. …thank you….”

“MY dad sells women’s shoes!”

“Don’t spin this back on meee”

“Because you’re crazy about me. …..WHAT!?”

“On the first date, Steph? Have some respect for yourself!”

“If I loved you, you would know it. If I loved you, I would show it. If I love you like you should be loved. If I loved you like I’m capable of. If you were the one I’m thinking of, woah ohhh, oh babe I’d let you know”

“Wake me up when you turn eighteeeeen”

“LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!” *shove*

“Did they buy it? Ha!”

“Gimme a cup of hot water, and make it strong!”

“Does your phone plan cover calls to hell?”

“She’s bisexual and dead! Where else would she be??”

*whips out gun* “JUST COOL YOUR BEANS, STEPH! Just cool em right the heck down!”

“Shut the front door, spankoffski!”

“SIR! DOOOO NOT APPROACH ME! GET YOU HANDS OUTTA YOUR POCKETS! PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN! HE’S GOING FOR A GUN!! *runs at paul*”

Pete’s “HOLY SHIT!!” When officer bailey rushes at Paul

“STOP RESISTING! STOP RESISTING!” *cue Emma screaming*

“You ruined our lives Grace!! I knowwww *sobbing* I just haven’t been thinking clearly lately. All I wanted was to be a regular girl, with no sexual desire, until she was safely married. I never asked for this tickle in my mommy spot. I’ve done so many terrible things, like touching myself and lying to the police. …..and dismembering a body….. well… we all did that, so…. But I called god a son of a b-word. Who am I!?!? *more sobbing* ohh.. it’s alright Grace. Don’t comfort her. She’s fuckin weird.”

“Stephanie, please. I’ve been bugging your phone since you were 12.”

“I don’t give a shit who you kill, but you just HAD to go and do it in that house, didn’t you?”

“A book??”

“You mean… satan? Oh no… they’re much worse.”

“K-yuck, k-yuck, k-fuck!”

*head gets thrown on stage* *collective screams* “Damn you miss tessburger! You were worthless!”

“Nerdy Prudes must die. That’s not me! I’m an elected official!”

“I can buy you beer!”

“I hate politics! It’s for NERDS!”

“Pete get behind me! I’ve got a gun! Steph, it’s a ghost… I don’t think that’s gonna do any good…. On the ground, bitch! I’m a cop!”

“Heck! Heck no!”

“Are you a woman of faith? Catholic. I’ll take that as a no.”

“He’s right there! WHAT THE FUCK!?”

“Pete, is she okay? Can you feel a pulse? I have no idea what I’m doing.”

The entirety of the summoning scene. It’s my favoritest part of the whole show.

Extra extra emphasis on “we don’t give a shit about your phone!”

Max’s slow mo run beat boxing to stop the bullet

“So you do know the Bible”

Grace taking her hair down and shaking it out

“Grace what are you doing?? SHUT YOUR FUCKING FART HOLE SPANKOFFSKI!! I wanna hear this! As you were saying Grace….”

“Brewin a pot of dirty girl soup, just for you! What?? Uhh, It’s what you call my bath water in my sexual fantasies. *GASP* that’s nastyyy….. I like it.”

“What… the fuck… is happening right now!?!?”

“GRRRR! I’ll be right back!”

The background dialogue of Grace and Max and then Peter saying “holy cow they’re doin it! Grace is having sex with a fucking ghost!”

Grace sauntering out and smoking a cigarette and saying “wooow I needed that” and then max being baby girl and swinging his legs in the air and saying “where you goin? Don’t you wanna cuddle a little bit?”

“I paid the price, now fuck off” *Grace twirl*

“Nonooooooowwwhatever! It was fuckin worth it!”

“What the fuck you just say to me!?!?”

“Mom said it would help me make friends. Boy was she wrong.”

“Liek eye dew”

“That was… absolutely disgusting!!”

Graces evil laugh “the souls of the pervs make me strong” more evil laughter

“DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE! DIRTY DUDES MUST DIIIIEEE!!”

“RUN YOU LITTLE BITCH”

“Darkness will spare my soul”

“Run dudes. RUN”

#some of these have become new echolalia/echologia phrases in my arsenal of random shit i say/think all the damn time #yes I did sit here and watch the whole show adding stuff as I went #starkid #npmd #nerdy prudes must die #hatchetfield #hatchetverse

[kart0]

Venting about me being stupid tw ed and suicide thoughts

...hey

I feel like I should start this by saying I've been actually pretty well lately ! I am drawing again, I lost weight which was something I really wanted, I think I made new friends, and I've been growing a lot on social media - I love the attention btw

So what do I have to complain now ? Dani doesn't this get tiring ? Uhhh yes but it's my blog so FUCK YOU

Anyways, it's exam season and there's a lot of things to do. And I have to mention I am illiterate I do not read nor am good at writing. I guess it has to do with my anxiety, I have a lot of thoughts. A LOT. That keep playing 24/7, so it's kinda hard to write something coherent.

So, I have this class, ceramic class, and I am terrible at it. Like. Super bad. Everything I do looks so bad it's literally disgusting to look at. Ok so we had this essay to do and I did, proudly, and I finish it on time which made me so happy. And I thought I did pretty well in fact !

Hm. Thought. We got our grade today and I got such a bad grade. Like. Not even half of the grade. And now I can't stop crying and feeling so stupid specially because ! Basically everyone in my class uses Chatgpt and gets away with it. And I swore, on my life, that I would never, NEVER, use AI to do my work. To do nothing, really. I have an ego the size of the universe, and I am extremely proud. It's my dignity on risk. What would my parents think of me ? What would I think of myself ???? I would never do that. Instead I keep writing everything on my own, with references of course. I used to think I'd rather get a low grade instead of using chat fucking gpt.

Well, now that I actually got a low grade I am really really upset, and regretful. Why did I have to be so proud and stupidly arrogant with my abilities. I know I FUCKING KNOW I can't write for shit. I keep thinking about how I should've used AI.

And I feel so shitty I skipped dinner tonight. Because I feel like I should starve and die. I do not deserve food. All I have to feel right now is fucking pain, and be miserable. Because I am failing this class. And I know, rationally speaking, this is super dumb. It's just a class and it's just one essay y'know. And I need to eat. Cuz honestly I'm pretty hungry.

But I keep thinking about what I did, and how I could've done so much better. I feel like such a fool.

Such a fucking fool.

And now my thoughts are spiraling, how I should either dropout of college (again btw) or kill myself ! Damn bro. Chill for a second.

And I have been eating less. Too less in fact. That's how I've been able to lose weight. So eating even less each time feels like a sickly accomplishment somehow. And I keep weighing myself everyday, morning and night. Sometimes 10 times a day. And all I want is for the number to get lower. It's so sick I should stop but I don't know how. And I feel so embarrassed and ashamed, I haven't told anyone about this.

I need to lose more weight, I NEED to lose more weight. Keeps on replay, and I work even harder to not eat. It's a game of being unworthy of basic human needs. I am starving myself to death. I know that.

And now I am punishing myself by not eating anything at all because of a fucking essay. Why do I keep doing this. What am I even trying to achieve with this. I keep feeling sick and nauseated and it's so bad and I keep taking pills for headaches and I just feel so... stupid

But I need to see me getting skinnier. I feel proud. And there was a time when this happened before too, when I was 18-19. I was so skinny back then and I did not eat.

And now it's happening again and I can't remember how I stopped the first time.

I don't want to feel sick all the time. I don't want to keep looking at the scale. I don't want to think I have to deserve food.

I don't want to die.

But I want this to be over. So much. And I know it's not the end of the fucking world but why, why does it feel like this all the time. Why can't I be normal, and have normal thoughts, and behave normally, and just be fucking ok for once.

I was doing so well... How did I end up like this again.

When will this ever stop ?

#me #rant #vent #uhhhhh

[setagaya-division]

Mina's Thoughts on Katsushika Division

Akihisa Mashiro

"Akihisa Mashiro, perhaps the world's most renowned and infamous hitman ever. Can you believe this guy once was hired to assassinate one of America's vice presidents? Either he's more skilled than I thought, or America's not as advanced a nation as people think they are. But anyway, I don't really care much about this guy's life. Famed killer or not, as long as he stays away from my siblings and I, we'll have no fucking problems."

Touya Kisaragi

"Japan's most renowned serial killer. Would you believe me if I told you I had a run-in with this guy before he got caught by the police? This was back when I was first starting to get a hold of my... particular talents. I was wandering an alley, starved and going half-crazy. I wanted to find someone or something to eat, but there were no people out, which was a shock since I thought humans always found an excuse to wander the fucking streets at night. But I suppose this kid gave them a reason to not too."

"Anyway, I was wandering past an alley when I caught a sniff of a human, which meant... free food. Look, don't fucking judge me, okay?! I told you I was fucking hungry! Anyway, I wandered in the alley and caught a sight of this kid standing over an older looking guy. He looked like a thug, but he wasn't my main focus. The kid was. I wondered why he looked so familiar. But then I remembered that he was that serial killer the news must have been talking about."

"Before I knew it, the white-haired brat tried to off me like he did his latest victim. Ha! Idiot boy didn't know who he was fucking with! All his stabbing was doing nothing but pissing me off and making me angrier! So, I bit into him! His blood... it tasted fucking putrid, but damn, did it feel me up! I didn't kill him, though. I wanted to leave him alive so he knew that not every person on the street was an easy target. Hopefully, he'll remember that for the rest of his miserable life."

Rintaro Himura

"And lastly, Japan's most notorious arsonist. "The High-Rise Bomber, they call him. I wonder how many lives I'd have to take before getting a name like that. Unlike this guy though, I don't have to rely on bombs or fire to get the job done. All I need is my teeth, claws and a little imagination. Anyway, Hot Stuff, keep those fucking flames of yours under control. Wouldn't want you to end up on the wrong side of them."

Death Row Block

"Yeah, this team doesn't exactly feel me with fucking ease. What the hell was the Prime Minister thinking letting these guys free? Is she fucking mental or something?! Besides the fact that they're all fucking criminals who won't take hesitate to take a life, what reason is there for them to participate in this fucking tournament? Even if they win (which they fucking won't), they're going to die eventually. And if they aren't careful, I'll make sure its sooner rather than later."

#hypmic #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic #hypnosis mic oc #hypnosis microphone #enigma #setagaya division #mina nakayama #katsushika division #death row block #akihisa mashiro #touya kisaragi #rintaro himura

[emeritus-fuckers]

how do you do, fellow queers, look how fucking professional i'm being this time, sending an ask like commonfolk/j

for the match-up re-run bc i wanna see nyx struggle with repugnant <3

1. Your identity! i'm sorry for the research nyx

i can very proudly call myself a faggot. my pronouns are they/she/he/xey/per/ghoul, but i'm slowly moving away from the "standard" ones. multigender, but they're all xenogender (ghoulgender, ghoulettegender, gooregender, chaosgender). multisexual (pansexual, asexual, lesbian, aegosexual, orchidsexual, berrisexual). aroallo (aegoromantic, desinoromantic, grayromantic, demiromantic). autistic. theistic satanist.

2. Who do you like?

repugnant. death metal racoons my beloved.

3. What do you look like?

there's a picture. i just dress more like a metalhead now. still wearing too much jewelry. i'm still short (it is a tragedy).

4. What's your personality?

i hate whoever came up with these questions (ekhem, myself).

ISTP-T, according to a quiz i did just before writing this. i'm relatively apathetic, only ever getting truly emotional when i'm overwhelmed. touch-repulsed, but touch-starved when it comes to people close to me. i'm quiet and distant around strangers, but get talkative and open with friends. i struggle with serious self-esteem issues (diagnosed depression, cheers) and i get very anxious about my friends just not liking me anymore and usually need to be yelled at to get my shit together. and then cuddled because i got yelled at. my relationship with emotions is complicated, as i only feel a very faint outline of an emotion most of the time, but i've learned to adapt to it over time and i'm pretty good at adapting my behavior so it looks like i feel a complete emotion.

when it comes to affection, i'm like a cat. i love it, but only when i want it. otherwise i will run away. i also show it in inconvenient ways, i suppose, like randomly grabbing my friends with a weird noise or sometimes (if we're really close) biting them. i feel very uncomfortable around most children, so i despise them.

5. Tell us about your interests!

i'd say repugnant, ghost and in this moment would be my top three bands to listen to, but i also like vocaloid and dolly parton. i always have to have something playing in the background or it's too quiet for me and i lose my shit. i like to read, but i much prefer to overanalyze everything and come up with ridiculous theories and headcanons to write about (i think emeritus-fuckers is proof of that). I like writing, but only stuff i actually enjoy writing, not whatever bullshit they're coming up with for uni. I can't write porn, yet people seem to think that i can, which is honestly hilarious to me.

i like making bracelets and other arts and crafts things, though i suck at it and usually it looks like trash.

i like video games, mostly sims 4 (finally figured out how to furnish it hallelujah) right now, but i like classic assassin's creed games (which means everything that came out before Origins/Odyssey bc fuck i hate these), the saints row series and skyrim too. and uncharted, too. and i guess tekken, but i'm just there for the hotties tbh.

i don't really watch movies, but if i had to pick a favorite, it would either be scream, pearl or shrek.

6. Trivia time!

i know way too much about butterflies and moths.

i have a framed attacus atlas.

my favorite food is instant cupped carbonara.

i have a dog (everyone has seen her at this point tbh).

i have a figurine of the batman who laughs and his three robins.

i love juice. especially apple-cherry juice.

i'm a terrible cook, i can make like three dishes and that's it.

i hate working under pressure and/or with deadlines.

i have a rather controversial sense of humor.

i love wearing too much jewelry.

i adore matching things, from jewelry to tattoos.

and here's a few pics of my cuddle monster.

This post is part of the 1000 followers match up event. Entries for the event are now closed.

Your match is…Mary Goore... and DD Sars... and kinda the rest of the band...

Hear me out on this haha, I have spent way too much time thinking about this and well you'll see XD - Nyx

So you met Mary first. They thought you looked cool so they went over to you.

You got chatting and you just kinda clicked with each other. Especially since you both have a controversial sense of humour. Mary enjoys throwing a few playful insults at you and getting all of that back and some.

You met up a few more times, enough so that you became comortable around Mary and them you. Although there was a discussion about your boundaries when you had to explain that you are like a cat, you only want affection when you are in the mood. Which of course Mary respected.

Mary after really getting to know you declared you one of their favourite ever people by lightly biting your shoulder. (This was okay as you way of telling them the same was to display your affection with a bite.)

Mary then proudly introduced you to the rest of the band. You quickly became close with all of them as to be with Mary is to be with the band. When Mary mentioned you had a dog E. wanted to see lots of pictures. He just kinda quietly sat there as you scrolled through them.

You made them all bracelets, G. got very excited by this. You said they look like trash and DD just kinda rounded on you. He firmly told you about how they weren't trash and how could you be so stupid to think so low of yourself. You just kinda nodded and then spend the rest of the day being cuddled by G.

DD does however get you. He never says it to you but its shown through his actions. He will just quitly sit and listen if you want to talk about it. He might say that you are a fucking weirdo but his expression tells the real story. He understands you and he knows what its like to have a complicated realtionship with emotions. There is a really nice companionship you two have because of this.

Mary noticed how you look at DD like you want him to sit on your face. So one night they say to you while pointing at DD "all you have to do is ask, you know, DD would be more than happy to" and then they gave you a little wink. Mary left it with you, it's totally up to you if you want to follow through on that or not...

~

Written by Nyx

#match up #match up event #ghoulettka #repugnant band #repugnant #mary goore #mary goore x reader #dd sars #dd sars x reader #g grotesque #e forcas

[swampsiren-piratefairy]

2023 Reading

I read a lot apparently! Below are my thoughts on the stories I've read so far this year. Also, if you’ve read a book and absolutely loved it, pitch it in the comments! Tell me why I should read it!

January

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Phillip K. Dick (4/5 stars)

This was a short read and overall I thought it was good. I thought the way the "andys" were characterized was particularly interesting. I think the book, despite being so short, was a filled with ideas and world building and what struck me is that those things didn't make the world feel more real. It felt as though those pieces of world-building served more to characterize our protagonists by way of their reaction to those ideas/religion/machines rather than serving to flesh out the world itself? Which is not necessarily bad, but idk, I guess I just wish the world felt more real or made a bit more sense to me.

The Mist in the Mirror by Susan Hill (3/5 stars)

I don't have a lot to say about this one. It was fine. Susan Hill is pretty good at atmosphere. I found the ending unsatisfying.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (3.5/5 stars)

This one was also fine. And I know it's nit-picky but I cannot get over the mother letting Beth's pet bird die in order to make a point about the importance of doing chores? Beth is a child and the bird didn't need to starve to death. Fuck you, Marmee.

Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer (5/5 stars)

Look, you have to already like Twilight to like this book. If you don't like Twilight or have never read it, then this book will not be enjoyable. If, however, you have read and enjoyed the Twilight series, then this book is great! You get insight into the world of Twilight, of Edward's character, of his family's thoughts and how they interact, and a look at his dark years of human hunting.

February

Twilight by Stephanie Meyer (5/5 stars)

I love this book. I love the drama, the devotion, the camp, the characters. I cannot judge this book objectively, therefore 5 stars. I reread it in honor of my upcoming vacation to the Forever Twilight in Forks festival and I'm so glad I did!

The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories by Angela Carter (4/5 stars)

This is a collection of short stories. Each is a re-imagining of a fairy tale/legend. There was a lot of dark, feminine energy to these stories which I enjoyed. I would caution anyone who want to read the stories to first look up trigger warnings on storygraph, as the tales do get quite dark and gruesome at times.

The Blazing World by Margret Cavendish (3/5 stars)

This is a work of utopian science fiction written in 1666. It's short and not terribly interesting as a story but incredibly interesting as an early work of science fiction by a woman. Would recommend if you're interested in the history of genre fiction.

Beloved by Toni Morrison (3.5/5 stars)

This one was tough. The characters were brutal, their situations were brutal, and it was hard to read about. I did, however, like the narrative style and think it is an important work of fiction. I don't think it should be classified as a ghost story, as it often is.

The Bell Jar by Silvia Plath (4/5 stars)

This was a good book and a realistic depiction of what mental illness can look like. It was very much a downer though, especially with what we know about the author's life.

"A Good Man is Hard to Find" by Flannery O'Connor (undecided)

This is a short story. It does a good job of telling a story and allowing you to know the characters despite how short it is. I'm not sure how to rate is as I'm sure if I really "get" it.

Heretics of Dune by Frank Herbert (1/5 stars)

My gosh! I hated reading this. I didn't care for God Emperor of Dune either but I felt I'd read so much of the series that I might as well finish it out, after all there was only two more books to go. Well. I won't be finishing it out. I finished this book but I will not be reading Chapterhouse: Dune. I'm so over the weird pedophilia that just gets more prominent with each Dune book. And one of the greatest things about Dune is the worldbuilding, but so much time has passed between the first book and this one that we are no longer in the same world. I cared about that world from the first couple books, but this one? I don't care anymore. I don't care about the characters either.

Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson (3.5/5 stars)

This was a good coming of age story, although, to my relief, not very relatable. I found the story compelling but didn't care for the time jumps. I learned that it is partly autobiographical, which makes certain parts of the story make more sense.

The Vegetarian by Han Kang (3.5/5 stars)

This was alright. I get the appeal. It was distressing to read at times.

Vicky Angel by Jacqueline Wilson (2/5 stars)

Look, I just didn't like the book. I understand it's an exploration of childhood grief written for children and so I am certainly not the intended audience, but still, this was just not good. And the ending? Ugh.

March

Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf (3/5 stars)

This is a stream of consciousness story with a few time jumps back and forth. I liked reading some parts, others not so much. It can get a bit dull at times. Iconic last lines.

The Complete Tales of Peter Rabbit and Friends by Beatrix Potter (3/5 stars)

As with many collections, there are some stories I enjoyed and some I did not. A couple that I thought I would not want read to any children in my life, which surprised me because these are such beloved stories.

The Word for World is Forest by Ursula K. Le Guin (4/5 stars)

Enjoyable but not my favorite. Not something I would revisit I think. Lots of themes here about colonization, military, environmentalism, etc. A bit heavy handed, but that doesn't really bother me when I agree with the message being set forth.

April

nothing. no books here. I read part of Kindred during this month but didn't finish it until early May.

May

Kindred by Octavia E. Butler (4/5 stars)

I've always meant to read Octavia Butler's books but I'm not sure this was the best one to start with. Nevertheless, it was good.

A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers (4/5 stars)

I liked this one much better than the first book in the series, The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet. It did drag on a bit at times. I also feel like a lot of the tension could have been resolved quickly by characters just talking to each other which drove me nuts.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne (3/5 stars)

It's not that this isn't a good book or an interesting work of early science fiction, it just dragged. I was so bored at times. This book took me so long to finish.

A Murder Is Announced by Agatha Christie (4.5/5 stars)

I can't quite bring myself to give this 5 stars. It was good though. As is always the case with Agatha Christie books, I did not guess the conclusion but feel as though I could have. Like there were probably enough hints, I just didn't pick up on them.

June

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson (5/5 stars)

This was a very good read. Great atmosphere. I liked the way things were revealed. If you like a gothic tale or any of Shirley Jackson's other works, then certainly give this one a go.

I watched the movie in October and it was pretty faithful, as far as adaptations go. I did prefer the book.

August

New Moon by Stephanie Meyer (4/5 stars)

Look, is it as good as Twilight? No, but I still like it. I care about the characters and this book offered fun new additions to the world that Twilight introduced.

Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer (4/5 stars)

Second verse, same as the first.

The Knight, the Fool, and the Dead: Time Lord Victorious by Steve Cole (3/5 stars)

This was much shorter than I expected and ended in the middle of the story, which I didn't realize going in. It was fine. It's my first Doctor Who book and I didn't love it, which I am disappointed about.

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner by Stephanie Meyer (3.5/5 stars)

I do like this book, but it's not my favorite. I particularly liked the character of Freaky Fred and I'm glad I reread this book so that I could be reminded of him.

A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare (4/5 stars)

I watched a play adaptation as I read along, which I find really useful for me when reading Shakespeare. I have trouble imagining how the characters say a line, what they would be doing as they say it, etc. so watching helps me contextualize. I liked it. I thought it was funny. It wasn't perfect and I didn't love the wrap up but, overall, it was enjoyable.

The Merchant of Venice by Shakespeare (2/5 stars)

I listened to the audio book rather than reading the play. I did not care for it. I thought the ending was fascinating but other than that, this was just not my cup of tea.

All Flesh is Grass: Time Lord Victorious by Una McCormack (3/5 stars)

This one was slightly better than the previous Doctor Who book, but I still didn't really care for it. It's hard to put my finger exactly on why though.

Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer (3.5/5 stars)

It pains me to give such a low rating to a book in a series I love so much, but this book is just not as good as the others. I still like it okay, but not like I love the others. Maybe she can redeem it in the next book. (That's right. I'm still holding out hope that we'll get another and it'll fix the bits I don't like about this one.)

September

The Body in the Library by Agatha Christie (4/5 stars)

I thought this one was quite good. I am bummed, as always, that I couldn't guess the killer.

Gigi and The Cat by Colette (3/5 stars)

This is actually two separate stories. I preferred Gigi I think, but both were solidly 3 stars. The most interesting thing was the little biography about Colette at the beginning of the book.

Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare (4/5 stars)

This one was enjoyable. Again, I did a read-along as I watched the play performed. It had some fantastic lines.

Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn (3/5 stars)

Look up trigger warnings about this one before you read. The book was just okay. I guessed the ending pretty early on, which I've been led to understand is not usual for this book. I think is probably the mark of a good thriller writer if most people won't guess the ending/twist/killer/etc but you've included enough clues so that a small subset of the audience will. But it didn't make for a particularly interesting read if you're in the subset that picked up on the clues early. I also was very interested to see how the writer handled the issue of self-harm in the book. Still not sure how I feel about it.

October

Hallowe'en Party by Agatha Christie (3/5 stars)

I didn't enjoy this one quite as much as I enjoyed the last Chrisie book I read, but it was okay I think. I read it because I wanted to watch the movie coming out, and I think murder mysteries are so much more interesting in book form.

Watched the movie and decided there’s no way this should be considered an adaptation of the book. A couple of names remain the same but the characters, their relationships, and the murders are so wildly different than they are in the book that I don’t even see the point of using the same names.

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (4/5 stars)

I liked it overall. I liked the characters. I think a little more development of our main two would have been nice. Controversial, but I did NOT like the meme references. Why would Harrow know the “studied the blade” joke? Also, why does Harrow know what a Cuckoo is? And apparently they’re all speaking English 10,000 years in the future because otherwise Gideon’s Sex Pal joke wouldn’t work. The ending made me sad.

Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (3/5 stars)

I liked the story overall and I think the AUs were fun, but I think they took up way too much of the book. I especially liked getting to see Gideon again and to hear her thoughts about what’s going on.

Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (3/5 stars)

Maybe this one’s on me, but I can’t figure out where the conversation with Jod is happening? It takes up half the book and I don’t understand it at all. It just feels like exposition dump. I’m really hoping I like the next one better.

Fingersmith by Sarah Waters (3/5 stars)

This isn’t a bad book, but it’s not really to my tastes. It’s a period drama and sapphic.

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison (5/5 stars)

I’ve read this one before and it’s a favorite of mine. It’s slow moving and, when I first read it, was such a relieving break from all the grimdark fantasies that were everywhereeeee at the time. (This book came out when Game of Thrones was at its height in popularity.) this book is just nice and so is Maia.

All Systems Red by Martha Wells (5/5 stars)

I enjoyed this book. So much so, that I read the rest of the series and then immediately went back to reread it again. I like murderbot. I also want to face the wall in a corner when people try to ask me about my feelings.

Artificial Condition by Martha Wells (4/5 stars)

This one might be my least favorite of the murderbot diaries, but I still like it. (That being said, I think I’ll grow to like it more in time. After all, we get the foundation of MB and ARTs relationship.) It introduces ART, gives us more context for MB’s past, and allows for MB’s sense of self to develop. By the end, we (and it) have a much better understanding of how it feels about humans and what lengths it’s willing to go to. The book also gives much needed explanation about how MB manages to blend in and operate. So all in all, I like it but feel like it’s mostly just filling in gaps.

Rogue Protocol by Martha Wells (4/5 stars)

Another good one! Really challenging how MB views human/bot relationships. MB is such a funny narrator, it spends so much time being like “I don’t care” and then proceeds to care So Much. Also Miki <3

Exit Strategy by Martha Wells (5/5 stars)

Wooo!! The gang is back (partly). MB must face those it’s run away from! Weapons and hacking and emotional stand offs! What more could you want?

Network Effect by Martha Wells (5/5 stars)

This one might be my favorite. I really liked it. I love when a character goes feral because their friend is dead/in danger and this book does it TWICE. It’s so good!

Fugitive Telemetry by Martha Wells (4/5 stars)

This one is another gap filling book. It lets us see what MB got up to while on Preservation. Which, if you’re really interested in the character (which I am) then it’s a good read! Also we got to see Gurathin and Ratthi again and I love them both.

#2023 reads #book review #mine

[szyszkasosnowa]

A single soul dwelling in two bodies - a Xeno x Stan playlist

(extra stuff under the cut)

I. Before the stone

Nirvana - Drain you

One baby to another says, "I'm lucky to have met you" I don't care what you think unless it is about me It is now my duty to completely drain you

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Road tripping

Now let us drink the stars, it's time to steal away Let's go get lost right here in the USA Let's go get lost, let's go get lost

System of a Down - B.Y.O.B.

Where the fuck are you? Why don't presidents fight the war? Why do they always send the poor?

ACDC – Dirty deeds done dirt cheap

Concrete shoes Cyanide TNT (Done dirt cheap) Neck ties Contracts High voltage (Done dirt cheap)

Muse - Knights of Cydonia

No one's gonna take me alive The time has come to make things right You and I must fight for our rights You and I must fight to survive

Pixies - Hang Wire

Every morning And every day I'll bossanova with ya

II. The ultimate knight

Archive - Bullets

Underneath my skin there is a violence It's got a gun in its hand

Confine me let me be the lesser of a beautiful man Without the blood on his hands

Bullets are the beauty of the blistering sky Bullets are the beauty and I don’t know why

Ready to take Ready to take out anyone, anywhere Anyone, anywhere

Jack White - Love is blindness

Love is blindness, I don't want to see Won't you wrap the night around me?

Love is clockworks and it's cold steel Fingers too numb to feel Squeeze the handle, blow out the candle Blindness

The Stooges - I wanna be your dog

Now we're gonna be face-to-face And I'll lay right down in my favorite place And now I wanna be your dog

System of a Down - Jet Pilot

Wired were the eyes of a horse on a jet pilot One that smiled when he flew over the bay

The White Stripes - Jolene

And I can easily understand How you could easily take my man But you don't know what he means to me

You could have your choice of men But I could never love again He's the only one for me

Soap&Skin – Sugarbread

Where the sight rather flees And the heartbeat leaks And the lighted mouth Rather chokes

Lux perpetua luceat eis

System of a Down - Soldier Side Intro

Welcome to the soldier side, where there's no one here but me People all grow up to die, there is no one here but me

III. A scientist of darkness

King Crimson – 21st century schizoid man

Death seed, blind man's greed Poets' starving, children bleed Nothing he's got he really needs Twenty-first century schizoid man

Soap&Skin – Me and the Devil

Me and the Devil Walking side by side And I'm gonna see my man Until I get satisfied

You may bury my body Down by the highway side

So my old evil spirit Can Greyhound bus that ride

Nirvana - The man who sold the world

I gazed a gazely stare At all the millions here I must have died alone A long long time ago

Who knows? Not me I never lost control You're face to face With the man who sold the world

Placebo - Battle for the Sun

I, I, I, I, I will brush off all the dirt Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt And I, I, I, I, I will pretend it didn't hurt Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt

Dream brother, my killer, my lover

Ozzy Osbourne - I just want you

There are no unlockable doors There are no unwinnable wars There are no unrightable wrongs Or unsingable songs

There are no impossible dreams There are no invisible seams Each night when the day is through I don't ask much I just want you

Hole - Nothern Star

And blackest night and I wait for you It's cold in here, there's no one left And I wait for you And nothing stops it happening And I knew, I'd cherish all my misery alone And I wait, staring at the Northern Star I'm afraid it won't lead me anywhere

Pink Floyd - Wish you were here

How I wish, how I wish you were here We're just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl year after year Running over the same old ground, what have we found? The same old fears, wish you were here

IV. To the Moon and back

Muse - Starlight

Far away This ship has taken me far away Far away from the memories Of the people who care if I live or die

Hold you in my arms I just wanted to hold you in my arms

The Doors – Moonlight Drive

Let's swim to the moon Let's climb through the tide

Paloma Faith - Never tear us apart

Two worlds collided And they could never tear us apart

We could live For a thousand years But if I hurt you I'd make wine from your tears

#hope you like it stanxeno nation 🥺 #dr stone #dcst #stanley snyder #xeno houston wingfield #xenostan #Spotify #stanxeno #oc

[demonprincezeldris]

Remember Healer Liz?

Elizabeth mulled over the problem. Meliodas couldn't hunt, not with his injuries, and the plant life around here would not be sufficient for him. He had already told her beforehand that demons were primarily carnivorous due to lack of plant life to feed off of in the demon realm, meaning that fruits and vegetables aren't poisonous or dangerous to him, but his body likely wouldn't gain as much nutrients as it needs. Eventually witha groan she realized,

"I'll have to hunt for you."

Meliodas busted out in laughter, obviously disbelieving,

"You!? A pansy little goddes who eats fucking raisins for a meal!? Don't joke with me, goddesses can't hunt!"

"Well then I guess the bug bad demon will have to teach me then," Elizabeth snarked back.

Meliodas became sober quickly after that, glaring at her venomous as she crossed her arm with a smirk.

"Are you fucking insane!?" The demon growled, "Why the hell would you want me to do that!? Why should I for that matter!"

"Because if you don't you'll be stuck eating fruits and veggies for the next week, wonder how that'll go."

The risk of death was worth it for the utterly murderous glare the demon sent her way. Eventually Meliodas snorts, looking away,

"You wouldn't be able to hurt a fuckin' fly, I'd be wasting my time on you."

(I am SO sorry for taking months to finally respond to this-)

Elizabeth groaned inwardly as she looked at the stubborn demon. "I'm not completely useless, you idiot," she snapped, placing her hands on her hips. "I may be a healer, but I can learn in other areas. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that you are healthy again. EVEN if you are a demon. I can adapt."

Meliodas snorted, lacing his hands behind his back. "Forget it. I'd rather starve than help a Goddess hunt for me."

"So help me gods I will smack you with an ark, you stubborn ass of a demon."

#Healer Liz AU #nnt #Melizabeth

[asukaskerian]

Fanfic ask game: B, C or F?

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

not... really? i'm trying to remember whether i took anything from RL and only coming up with "this reddit post would make a hilarious fic" and then the fic is like, not even that much like it. XD;;;

C: What character do you identify with most?

atm, none. i used to vibe with karkat and dave because they're awkward nerds but in the old person naruto fandom there isn't much of that.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Bleach, Oxytocin: this whole scene basically but XD

--

"Oh," the girl said in a strangely shivery, way too stunned voice. "You want to eat Kurosaki-kun after he dies so you can keep him." Which, honestly, was so fucking stupid it made him lift his head again, despite how much he really didn't want to.

"Why the fuck else?" he asked in the middle of two or three gasping bullshit interruptions, staring at her in bafflement. She had a dainty little hand across her mouth and was staring right back. "Ain't like I can still starve to death." A slow, thoughtful blink. "Or regress to gillian. Think I'd still prefer starving to death."

"Wait, wait, what the fuck. Keep me? What?"

"Keep your soul, Kurosaki-san," the guy with the hat at the opposite end of the room said all slow and unctuous; reminded him of Aizen pretending he didn't think everyone around him was a pitiful moron. Which... Kurosaki and the girl and the big one seemed to like him alright, but... Hrrm. "Rather than allow it to go through the cycle of reincarnation and rebirth."

"He'd forget everything," Grimmjow retorted, lip curling up, as he glared him down. "I'd have to hunt his ass down an' sharpen him all over again and he'd have none of the half-hollow fuckery he does now. Take even longer."

"Aaah. Whereas, if he's a dead, dormant soul in your keeping, he can... slumber on uselessly...?"

Well. Said like that it sounded a bit like... Not quite sound reasoning.

"He can reincarnate when I do," Grimmjow grumbled in disgust. "Along with the fucking rest of them."

0000"Oh my god," Kurosaki mumbled, and Priss of all people patted his shoulder for some reason.

"Well, that was very serial killer romantic," Priss said dryly. Grimmjow absently felt for something on the table to throw, ended up chucking a coaster. It hit the big guy instead, right in the middle of his chest.

"... My bad. Throw it at the priss."

"Hey," the priss protested prissily. Big guy blinked slowly and obligingly lobbed it overhand at Priss, who batted it away with a scowl.

Grimmjow flashed the big guy a quick grin. He could tell he'd been humored, but he'd been kind of joking in the first place, so. "Good 'nuff."

--

i love it because that's where the normal humans figure out exactly how alien grimmjow's whole way of thinking is, BUT, he doesn't mean it as disrespect. he likes ichigo! he thinks he's cool! that's exactly why he's gonna eat him. this is a pretty important scene in that it starts the karakura kids thinking more about understanding hollows and grimmjow in particular and being kinda forced to think about exactly what they go through more in depth.

it was so much fun to write it from the inside and let everybody's reactions be guessed more than explained clearly (because we're not cannibals and don't need it, but still, fun.) orihime comes up with a weirdass explanation and grimmjow is immediately "you're fucking stupid" and then next paragraph follows up with "of COURSE that's why, why is that even a question".

also the serial killer romantic line, that was great, okay.

#teaser #writing meme

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

Hmmm, how about "you aren't squeamish are you?" For the ask game?

Whoops accidentally made another fae AU

TW: references to blood and unsanitary surroundings, restraints, manipulation, threats, possessive behaviour

“Let me go.”

The human remained defiant even in thorned chains, kneeling awkwardly against the long-filthy dungeon floor, uncaring of the squalor or the wrath of the Faerie King in his fury. Dream found it hysterical. It'd been a long time since he'd had this level of entertainment.

"You aren't squeamish, are you?" he observed idly. “You know, this place drains the spirit of many faeries after a while, let alone creatures such as humans. I'm impressed.”

The human scoffed. “Really? It'll take more than some blood and a couple of bugs to break me, prick.”

“I'm not looking to break you. That'd be such a waste, don’t you think? You’re the first human to find us in hundreds of years. I just want to know how you did it.”

“Bullshit. Tubbo got here too.”

Dream laughed. “Tubbo's one of our children. He merely came home to us. Did you follow him, then?”

“I couldn’t let him go alone.” The human's voice was suddenly much more quiet, a hint of sadness there. How fascinating. “He begged me not to follow, he said it was too dangerous, but he's practically a brother to me. I wouldn’t let him.”

“Interesting.” Dream snapped his fingers, and the thorns keeping the human chained still rescinded. Weakened physically if not mentally, he simply slumped further down into the dirt. “I'd love to learn more, human. Perhaps we could discuss over dinner?”

“I know better than to eat your fucking food,” the human snapped. “Then I'll be trapped here forever, huh? I'm not that easily tricked. I’d rather starve to death than be stuck here for God-knows-what purpose you have.”

Dream hummed. “You're clever, aren’t you, human? Stubborn, too. You're more like a faerie than you'd think.” He grinned as the human growled at that. “Oh, don’t be so angry at that. Your friend is one of us, isn’t he? You must admit, we aren’t all bad.”

“Don’t-  don't talk about Tubbo, don’t you dare-“

Dream sighed, and clicked his fingers together, restraining the human before he could do anything rash. “You really haven’t realised the reality of your situation yet, haven’t you? You can’t escape, you can’t fight back, you’re powerless against me. Maybe being too clever by half could keep you safe against my subjects, but I don't need to play by the same rules they do. You should be grateful I like you, human, else you'd be begging for mercy no matter how stubborn you are.”

That finally left the human speechless, still glaring but fear in his sea coloured eyes. Something about that filled Dream with more pride than any sort of power over anything and anyone else had before, and he couldn’t help but smile at that. Yes, this human was certainly fascinating, and Dream just had to keep him.

#My writing #dream smp #primeboys (derogatory) #Tw blood #tw unsanitary #tw restraints #tw manipulation #Tw threats #tw posessive behaviour

[daughter-of-sapph0]

me: capitalism is bad. no one should starve to death. food and water and electricity and housing should all be free

someone on tiktok (not saying their name for privacy reasons): no

me: no? the fuck? what do you mean no?

s: no, I don't think capitalism is bad.

m: so what, you just think people should starve to death?

s: no, not starve to death. but if they want food so bad, they should just work for it

m: we are! we are working, but we aren't paid enough. I have two full time jobs and four roommates, and that's only barely enough to cover rent. that's not even mentioning food, water, electricity, gas, insurance, etc. if nothing else, the minimum wage should be increased so these things are affordable for most people.

s: if you hate it, you should get a better paying job.

m: okay, so say everyone takes your advice. instead of working at McDonald's, everyone becomes tech ceos. despite that being incredibly unrealistic and a stupid thing to suggest to people who can't or don't want to change jobs, what do you think will happen once everyone quits working at fast food. who's gonna make your shitty burger now?

s: okay but that's not what I'm talking about. you can't just give people free stuff they didn't earn. then nobody would work. all the lazies would get shit they don't deserve

m: if by "lazies" you mean the disabled, sick, elderly, or children, I personally think they should not starve to death.

s: no I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the people who choose not to work.

m: example?

s: you know? guys who just sit on the couch all day and watch TV and argue with people online

m: like who?

s: like people who wouldn't go to work if they had money

m: would you go to work if you had enough money to live comfortably? what would you do with your life if you didn't have to worry about starving to death?

s: idk... I'd probably just... do something I like. like draw cartoons

m: and how often do you draw cartoons right now?

s: not that often. I don't have a lot of time I'm usually busy with wor- hey, fuck you!

m: see, if capitalism didn't exist, you would be doing something you love because you won't have to struggle to survive

s: but how can food and shit be free? how would people do stuff without any money?

m: what you're thinking of is a moneyless society. which is optimistic, but in reality is unachievable. in an ideal socialist world, money would still exist, but basic necessities like food and water and housing would be given for free to people who need it. people can still pay for nicer things. you want a bigger house, you can buy it. you want to travel, you can pay for that. working would still exist. you just wouldn't need to work to survive. rather, you'd work to afford extra nice things you would want. and not everyone wants those extra nice things. so those people wouldn't have to work.

s: but like... you can't just give water and food away. we'd run out

m: actually we wouldn't. we have more than several times the amount of food needed to end world hunger. unfortunately, most is hoarded, destroyed, or left to rot, because big giant monopolies might lose 0.0001¢ if they give a sandwich to a homeless person instead of selling it to him. under capitalism, we sacrifice morality for profits.

s: so, we have enough food and shit, but who's gonna make stuff like houses?

m: at the moment we already have more empty houses than homeless people in the us. but even if that wasn't enough, I know tons of people who would love to be construction workers, plumbers, electricians, contractors, architects, etc. but aren't because those jobs don't pay enough. if those people were given the basic things they needed to survive, they'd perform their job not because they need to eat, but because they actively want to help other people. despite what everyone tells you, humans are not selfish. they genuinely do want to help other people. and other people genuinely want to help you. no one should struggle to survive.

the person didn't respond after this, but they did delete their comments saying they loved capitalism. so I'm pretty sure I changed their mind.

#dostxt