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pesterloglog · 3 months

Text

Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Karkat Vantas

Meat, page 32

DAVE: yo

DAVE: love to chat but im kinda in the middle of something

ROXY: yo yourself but this is important

DAVE: uhhh

DAVE: more important than salvaging the global economy from potential disaster??

DAVE: sounds hugely unlikely

ROXY: idk about that

ROXY: in terms of scale and relativity and stuff maybe not

ROXY: its actually kinda hard to tell

ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things

ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap

ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro

DAVE: a nap you say

DAVE: well this changes the fuck out of everything

ROXY: yea??

DAVE: nah

ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this

ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him

DAVE: uh no

ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight

ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....

ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??

DAVE: thats weird

DAVE: since when does he give a fuck about them

ROXY: idk

ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here

ROXY: he usually knows stuff about weird things

DAVE: so whats wrong with her again

DAVE: like

DAVE: some sort of demonic nap

ROXY: ok i wouldnt say shes NAPPING per se

ROXY: shes just like

ROXY: floatin here... upright

ROXY: eyes wide open

ROXY: and theyre both pitch black

DAVE: oh so she saw one of my latest sbahj campaign ads

ROXY: lol

ROXY: no dude

ROXY: like what im sayin is

ROXY: she looks a lil possessed

ROXY: by uh

ROXY: grim spirits n shit

DAVE: is she fucking grimbark again

ROXY: no!

ROXY: this isnt grimbark

ROXY: i KNOW what grimbark is dave this aint it

ROXY: it seems more serious tbh??

ROXY: like existing in some transformative state that isnt a literal fuckin joke

DAVE: ok yeah this does sound pretty bad

DAVE: but its not really my field

DAVE: did you try calling rose

ROXY: yea that was totes my original plan

ROXY: like no offense ur not #1 on my speed dial when it comes to this kinda thing

ROXY: but rose isnt picking up

ROXY: probly on account of ailments to be fair

ROXY: i called an unruly number of times

ROXY: and kan wasnt picking up either so...

DAVE: huh

DAVE: spooky

ROXY: hella spooky

ROXY: somethin about all this seems wrong

DAVE: yeah i guess

DAVE: what do you think is up

ROXY: idk

ROXY: i feel like theres something movin just out the corner of my vision but every time i turn to look at it

ROXY: its gone

ROXY: its givin me chills rn like im being watched

DAVE: well im no fucking ace detective

DAVE: or some gumshoe flatfoot dicking up the place suckin hard on my sherlock pipe like some sleuth of the fucking year

ROXY: dave

DAVE: but maybe we should consider the possibility that you are literally being watched

ROXY: ..............

DAVE: anyway can we hold that wise and rad thought i just had

DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support

DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us

DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives

DAVE: so we gotta like

DAVE: concentrate here?????

DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives

DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)

ROXY: oh

ROXY: jakes on ur side then?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: wasnt that hard to convince him after your girl j crock started slut shaming him on public access

ROXY: god dammit jane

DAVE: so i take it jade didnt convert you to our cause before going into her gothic trance fugue or whatever

ROXY: siiigh

ROXY: i just want this whole stupid political thing over n done with tbh

ROXY: i hate watchin u guys tear each other apart in the news

DAVE: yeah sorry about that

DAVE: sorry its making you feel bad i mean

DAVE: not sorry that were doin it

DAVE: itd be an unconscionably lame move to put something on a billboard that i didnt 100% stand by

DAVE: but that sounds suspiciously like something jane would do

DAVE: aka the bad guy in this situation

DAVE: like objectively speaking

ROXY: ugh pls dont start

DAVE: just sayin

ROXY: idgAF!!!

DAVE: also

DAVE: aside from how vehemently i disagree with every detail in janes shitty platform

DAVE: i also think

DAVE: karkats the right guy for the job

DAVE: full stop

ROXY: you rly believe in him dont u

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: of course i do

DAVE: because i...

ROXY: hey before you jet can i ask you another question

ROXY: theres somethin else ive been meanin to ask u about for a while

DAVE: uh alright shoot

ROXY: yea soooo

ROXY: dave how did you come out

DAVE: ...

DAVE: what?

ROXY: like as not being straight

ROXY: howd you couch that to ppl w/o them freakin out or being awkward around u

ROXY: do u think its ever too late to

ROXY: idk

ROXY: change ur mind?

ROXY: about the person you wanna be??

ROXY: like is there a some point of no return you can cross where everyone is waitin for u to have a big ass revelation about your internal character

ROXY: but its like “dude no u already used up all ur gay capital when u started datefriend cohabitating w a cute as hell skeleton alien”

ROXY: and anything after that ur just gettin greedy

ROXY: is greedy even the right word

ROXY: greedy for droppin bombshells

ROXY: bout gender identities and sexual preferences

ROXY: or ids n preffies as i like to call em ;)

DAVE: ids n preffies

DAVE: damn

DAVE: thats fucking good

DAVE: anyway uh

DAVE: thats a pretty deep question considering all the shit we have going on right now

ROXY: yeah ur right

ROXY: now is probs not the best time for a feels jam

ROXY: especially with the creepy jade situation happening on my couch here

DAVE: i dunno if id worry too much about that

DAVE: jade goes into trances literally all the time

DAVE: she fucking loves sleeping

DAVE: youd think someone who spent so much of her life locked in a state of dubiously consensual slumber would wanna get as few zees as possible in her adult life but not jade

DAVE: ive never known anyone who hits the snooze button more times in a row than her

DAVE: if youre that worried take her to a hospital

ROXY: im thinkin about it!!

ROXY: not even sure if i wanna like

ROXY: mess with her tho?

ROXY: how would i even take her there...

DAVE: ok well while you ponder whether you wanna dump jade in a wheelbarrow and trundle her groggy spooked-up ass to the hospital

DAVE: in the meantime ill rap at you about my epiphany concerning the desire to bone some dudes

DAVE: probably not a literal rap though

ROXY: wow im disappointed

DAVE: i mean i could TOTALLY rap about wanting to bone dudes if i wanted?

DAVE: im just on the fuckin clock here and theres lots of people lookin at me

ROXY: :(

DAVE: ok so

DAVE: what ive learned is

DAVE: coming to terms with all this bullshit is a thing you sort of do in stages

DAVE: like stage one is you making jokes about how sweaty dudes standing close together in tv shows seems really gay

DAVE: stage two is making jokes about that and not immediately adding no homo afterward

DAVE: stage three is flirting with all your male friends ironically and not even thinking about adding no homo afterward because youre so fuckin woke and secure in your ironclad straight masculinity that you dont have anything to prove to anybody anymore

DAVE: or thats just what you say out loud

DAVE: inside you start being like

DAVE: oh shit

DAVE: maybe yes homo

DAVE: stage four is freaking out about that and putting the no homo back on all your statements even objectively heterosexual ones which just stupidly makes everything you say sound extra gay

DAVE: stage five is

DAVE: actually wait the next few stages are various permutations of the same thing that i already described

DAVE: it starts being like a gay fractal

DAVE: anyway eventually you arrive at like stage nine

DAVE: which is reminding everyone who will listen that youre gay minimum six times a day

DAVE: in really lame ways like

DAVE: oh cool dude are you making hot pockets

DAVE: better make mine a gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause im a gay homosexual who only consumes homo ass snacks delivered right to my mouth by a big queer butler

DAVE: servin it right up on his huge gay dick

DAVE: but that all only applies to the extent which i am technically gay

DAVE: which in my case is only about maybe 30% to 70%

DAVE: so only cook 30% to 70% of my gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause you know straights are fucking animals who never defrost their pepperoni

DAVE: and i gotta rep for that like 50% straightness still lurking inside me like the idiot who fell asleep in the shopping mall when it was closing for the night

DAVE: so now theres just this straight dude locked in a dark fucking mall for some stupid reason haunting the place like a cryptid and rummaging through the trash in the food court

DAVE: also just in case janes opposition research is listening in on their illegal wiretap i know the word bisexual exists btw im just choosing not to use it in service of spitting some fuckin chuckle jokes here so lets all calm down and not let this one become a distressingly literal federal issue

DAVE: anyway when all is said and done

DAVE: you eat a half cooked hot pocket because all your roommates think the height of humor is taking what was obviously an improvisational riff at unironic face value to punk you

ROXY: dave...

DAVE: what

ROXY: nm

ROXY: i was gonna ask you why ur like this

ROXY: then i remembered about how ur half me and half dirk

DAVE: yeah it really is crazy how those dope late game familial reveals actually did explain everything

ROXY: so whats stage ten

DAVE: stage ten is uhhhhhhhh

DIRK: The Prince opens his fucking mouth, and just literally starts SAYING SHIT, out loud, because he doesn’t think he can take another fucking second listening to a pompous alien virgin monologuing about gender.

DIRK: No consequence, my ass. You may be able to suppress what I do with my mind, but you have no control over my mouth. I’m nobody’s fucking puppet.

DIRK: And you don’t even know my friends. They’re not yours to toy with.

DIRK: They’re mine.

DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?

DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to

DIRK: Yeah, well. Try and stop me then.

DIRK: I fucking dare you.

DIRK: Here I go. I’m walking up the tower stairs now.

DIRK: Walk, walk, walk. Ah, the exercise feels good.

DIRK: Argh. Wow, yeah.

DIRK: You’re right. My feet are definitely getting heavy.

DIRK: But the Dead Cherub tragically underestimates the Prince’s determination. He powers the fuck through it. See?

DIRK: Stomp, stomp, stomp. Up the stairs he goes. No fucking sweat.

DIRK: Oh also, did he mention? He can fucking fly, so there’s that.

DIRK: He decides to take flight and cut to the chase. He whips up the hollow vertical shaft at the center of the spiraling tower stairs. Life in the fast lane kicks ass, it turns out.

DIRK: He can practically taste the top of the tower.

DIRK: The Prince busts out his sword and makes short work of that big old bell.

DIRK: The slicing is accompanied by the ear-shattering melodic sounds of metal being cleaved apart by an anime sword, as the Prince nimbly avoids the sharp pieces and ricocheting stair debris.

DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?

DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”

DIRK: Sure you do.

DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion

DAVE: theres lots of layers

DAVE: they suck on pizza

DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them

DAVE: this goes for gender stuff too btw

DAVE: which i kinda get the feeling is what you were actually asking about

ROXY: wow am i rly that transparent?

DAVE: nah but as previously discussed youre a lot like me

DAVE: so it was pretty easy to figure out what you were getting at

ROXY: yea

ROXY: i dont got ur poker face tho

ROXY: but im workin on that!

ROXY: maybe ill get a sick pair of shades too

DAVE: oh DOPE

DAVE: yeah thats dope i support that idea

DIRK: I’m on top of the tower now. I’ve got my long sniper rifle ready and everything.

DIRK: I check to see if it’s loaded. It is. I get in the PERFECT spot for taking aim at this hunky imbecile who’s about to give a speech.

DAVE: anyway i dont think any of our friends are gonna hold your feet to the flames over dumb shit like this

DAVE: and its not like anyone else is gonna care since we definitely forgot to program hating gays and women into earth c

DAVE: humans are all jacked up on hating xenophiles now

DAVE: which sucks a lot too dont get me wrong

DAVE: btw did you know janes a xenophobe

ROXY: dave!!!

DAVE: ok ok

DAVE: so does all this mean i gotta call you dad now or what

ROXY: wat

DAVE: i mean thats what were talkin about right

ROXY: well first of all

ROXY: do u still even make a habit of callin me mom??

ROXY: i thought u kinda stopped that

ROXY: even if it was effin cute

DAVE: oh yeah i guess i did

DAVE: but i could start again

DAVE: but not if it means id have to go to fucking gender jail or something

DAVE: like what i mean is i could start that cute shit again but switch to dad

ROXY: ok but SECOND of all

ROXY: i would never want to deprive dirk of that noble honorific

DAVE: what

DAVE: ugh no way

ROXY: hahaha yeah way hes ya daddy dude!

DAVE: aw fuck noooo

DAVE: wow man

DAVE: i would never call him that

DAVE: i mean i know its true but i just wouldnt...

DAVE: wait

ROXY: what

DAVE: something feels

DAVE: wrong

ROXY: ???

DAVE: like some shits about to go down

DAVE: and i gotta...

DAVE: karkat! dude!!!

DAVE: GET DOWN!

KARKAT: WHAT?????

DIRK: You’re absolutely right.

DIRK: I would never do that.

DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.

DIRK: You do understand me pretty well, I’ll give you that. And you’re right about many things.

DIRK: But there are just a couple things you’re wrong about.

DIRK: Pretty important things, actually.

DIRK: First of all, this gun is loaded.

DIRK: But not with bullets.

DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.

DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.

DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.

ROXY: hellooooooo

ROXY: dave??

ROXY: whered ya go

DIRK: No, that’s not what he does.

DIRK: He swings the rifle around one hundred eighty degrees, and points the scope toward the large, now-curtainless window of a distant apartment.

DIRK: He zooms in quickly, cutting even shorter the little time that the Dead Cherub could use to impede him in some way.

DIRK: He takes aim, lets his finger hover over the trigger, and...

DIRK: Ow!

DIRK: Yeah, you got me. Can’t move it an inch.

DIRK: The only problem is, he doesn’t need to pull that trigger.

DIRK: Earlier, when he was messing around with all this shit in plain view, he rigged the rifle to be voice-operated.

DIRK: All he needs to do is say...

DIRK: FIRE.

DIRK: I see. So you’re not going to say what happens next?

DIRK: Is that really how it’s gonna be?

DIRK: So be it.

DIRK: The tranquilizer dart hits the glass of Roxy’s apartment window before the sound from the rifle’s shot even reaches them.

DIRK: She hears the glass break. Seconds later, she hears the bang. She drops her phone on the floor.

DIRK: She doesn’t have the slightest idea what just happened until she looks over at Jade and notices the dart stuck in her neck, right in the jugular vein.

DIRK: She watches as Jade’s huge, creepy black eyes start getting heavy. Her eyelids sag, and her head tilts to the side.

DIRK: She shuts her eyes completely. Her hair stops floating around her ominously. In fact, there’s nothing ominous about her at all anymore. She entirely resumes her status as the cute doggy girl we all know and love.

DIRK: She slumps over and collapses onto the couch. She begins snoring loudly while making a little canine whimper on each exhale.

DIRK: Like the bitch she is.

DIRK: Oh, what’s that? You’re getting a little quiet for some reason.

DIRK: You’re going to have to speak up.

DIRK: Aaand, nope.

DIRK: You’re getting quieter, not louder. You’re gonna need to work on that.

DIRK: Maybe try shouting it?

DIRK: Yeah, I didn’t catch that at all.

DIRK: Not even one syllable.

DIRK: Guess that’s it for you? Back to not mattering.

DIRK: Not that you ever did.

DIRK: Come to think of it, why am I still talking out loud?

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #dave strider #roxy lalonde #dirk strider #karkat vantas #meat epilogue #page 32

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084392 · 1 year

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future trio unknowingly meeting long lived pmd2 hero(like ninetales) in the future out of the blue but hero doesnt tell them who they are at first bc they want to see how long it would take them(grovyle specifically) to recognize them and when it only takes him a couple mins of working with them to put the pieces together. heros like......hah! you did good this time! only took you a couple mins! hero laughs and then they tease and ask why they never got a visit back in the past and grovyle starts sweating like uhhh we were busy rebuilding and we uh couldnt really visit you in the past bc youuu werent even at sharpedo bluff anymore? and we didnt know how to find you and your-? and heros like. really? *gestures at dusknoir* this big lug couldnt help you at all? they all kind of laugh except dusknoir whos like WELL- but hero picks up the conversation before he can interject and is like. well however long it took....its good to finally see you all again!...even you dusknoir(they enjoy giving him a hard time.) and eventually the question comes up of how partners....doing(which everyone was kiiind of avoiding asking bc they arent complete tactless idiots) and well....partners dead. has been for lets see....about a hundred or so years now?...and everyones like oh wow. we're so sorry...they all kind of saw it coming but ofc its still depressing to hear that. i think grovyle would probably be the most choked up tho..........and heros like. dw about it! they lived a long happy life..and in their dying breath they actually parroted my dying words back to me...to live for myself...and.....uh well thats what ive been doing since! everyones just kind of..........feels a little bad after that. but afterwards they kind of just. change the subject and explore and whatnot...eventually future trio starts moving out saying goodbye to them. grovyle hugs them goodbye and all that....hero tells them they can stop by anytime they want! i mean "we're in the same "present" now after all! dont be strangers!" and grovyle says he'll definitely visit again soon...

....not long afterwards future trio(grovyle more specifically) decides that they need to visit hero AND partner in the past. no matter where they are...

#pmd tag #pmd #pokemon mystery dungeon #sorry didnt type out all this shit NOT to tag it.#probably didnt explain this super well but........................

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davejade-daily · 5 months

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3 - massive fail 2 electric boogaloo

---

As soon as he steps foot through the door, he is totally regretting his life’s decisions. Scanning the room, it is as he feared: The Girl is there, laughing with Karkat and, surprisingly, John. Dave does a double take. John and Karkat in the same room together? He’s surprised the place is still standing. Dave hopes that she - Jade, right? - has forgotten all about him and his massive uncool failure, but Karkat turns his head to see who’s at the door, and shit, the jig is up. It’s all over. He can pinpoint the exact moment Karkat realizes the power he has to turn around and ruin Dave’s life. He does not disappoint, nudging Jade and saying something barely audible to her. John perks up, looking over as well. Take a picture losers, it’ll last longer, Dave thinks sourly as John begins to wave.

JOHN: dave!!! it’s me, john!!

DAVE: wow really i hadnt noticed

He makes his way up to the counter, Rose in tow. He knows she’s watching all this go down with sharp amusement, feeling her beady little eyes on his back. John is sitting on the counter (to compensate for his shortness), and Karkat moves up to the register in front of them. Jade is nowhere to be seen.

KARKAT: HEY DAVE.

He gives Dave a shit-eating grin.

KARKAT: HAVE I INTRODUCED YOU TO MY FRIEND YET?

KARKAT: I THINK YOU’D REALLY LIKE HER.

KARKAT: YOU HAVEN’T MET BEFORE, RIGHT?

DAVE: no no i definitely havent she doesnt have a very memorable face no siree

DAVE: who is this person to have been deemed worthy of my acquaintance

DAVE: im a very busy guy karkat

DAVE: not a lot of time for trivial matters like consorting with coffee-making damsels

KARKAT: OH I’M SURE.

KARKAT: COME HERE, LOVE. OH SORRY, I MEAN LOVELY LADY.

The lady in question pokes her head out of the pantry, tilting it quizzically.

JADE: wait karkat are you talking to me

JADE: i mean uhh

JADE: yes?

KARKAT: I WANT YOU TO MEET SOMEONE.

KARKAT: THIS IS DAVE.

DAVE: sup

DAVE: nice to meet you

DAVE: definitely for the first time

JADE: uhhh yeah! likewise

Dave holds his hand out to shake, and Jade awkwardly slaps it like a high five. This is going great. Karkat looks ready to pass away from holding in hysterical laughter. In the background, John looks confused. This is not an unusual occurance, as John is often confused. It’s a fact of life at this point. Rose has ambled over to the display case and appears to be intently scrutinizing the goods.

DAVE: so uh

DAVE: john

DAVE: whatre you doing here

DAVE: are you a coffee connoisseur

DAVE: now are you fancy bitch or starbucks junkie

DAVE: i dont see you as either honestly but then again i didnt know you liked coffee at all

JOHN: no, i’m visiting my sister! jade.

JOHN: do you really not remember me ever talking about her?

JOHN: we’ve known eachother for what, 6 years?

JOHN: i even said something about it a couple days ago! i told you i would be busy because i would be helping her here.

DAVE: i have no recollection of this

DAVE: wheres the evidence egbert

KARKAT: I CALL BULLSHIT.

DAVE: surprise surprise

DAVE: im shocked

DAVE: flabbergasted even

DAVE: if i wasnt so young youd need to call life alert because i just had a heart attack

JADE: i know cpr!!

DAVE: impressive

DAVE: a woman of many talents

DAVE: i respect that

ROSE: So very feminist of you, Dave.

ROSE: Your progress is astounding.

JOHN: dave’s a feminist now?

JOHN: i think the lack of sun exposure on his eyes has somehow warped his brain.

DAVE: whats the problem guys theres nothing wrong with feminism

DAVE: i love feminism. i. love women?

KARKAT: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

ROSE: Did something change in the last few minutes that I wasn’t aware of?

KARKAT: I SEEM TO RECALL DIFFERENT THINGS.

JOHN: i like women too.

John nods in a very serious manner. Dave can’t tell whether he’s actually serious or doing it for the bit. He doesn’t think he wants to know the answer

DAVE: im glad

DAVE: women really need to be liked and treasured

DAVE: anyway

DAVE: can i get a uhh

DAVE: latte

Karkat resumes his place at the register and ringing him up. Jade turns and starts making the espresso, and Dave steps back to let Rose order. He finds himself a seat at the bar counter next to John, resting his arms on it and talking about nothing in particular. He’s only half paying attention, watching Jade work from the relative privacy his shades offer.

A short while later, a latte is pushed across the counter to him. The frothy milk jiggles a bit as it stops, and he observes the expertly poured heart shape in the foam. When he looks up, Jade has already moved on to the next customer, laughing over her shoulder at something he can’t see.

---

hey there quick authors note ig

thank you (especially you!! you know who you are. you can absolutely be crowned our number one fan) for the support on our silly little self-indulgent writing

#dave strider #jade harley #davejade #sburban coffee #davejade fic #mod strider #mod harley

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sheikahwarriork · 5 months

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gotta be honest i didnt know who kissinger was (im not american, in italian school we dont have many contemporal history classes, and yes im dumb sorry) so i tried to check his wikipedia page and uh. uhm. i was like "what?" and then i checked articles and stuff here and uhhh. i was "oooooooh"

i mean, his wiki makes look him (id dare to say) a decent guy, or at least not so horrible that could explain all those cheers for his death; but a deeper research that took 3 minutes made me really understand who this man was. what he really did. his wiki page omitted so many things about him it looks like it talks about a different person (i checked it a few days ago, idk if they changed it so far). and its kinda weird to think how biased wikipedia is. weird, and sad.

this story made me think about how today informations are written and delivered to a non-specialized audience. and ooooooh boy theres so much subtle propaganda and history erasing my head started spinning. is it me, or wasnt wikipedia supposed to be 'neutral'? didnt it use to be a summary of all things? its weird, sad, and pretty frightening to me. what is happening? in what kind of world do we live?

ik this post looks naive and random, but. uh. I just wanted to say please check your informations from at least 2 different sources, if not even more. otherwise you'll never know if that site or book you're reading is biased, you need to check multiple sources to make sure you have as many informations as you can, to truly learn the topic you see people talking about.

as an archaeology and history student, I know too well how history erasing works. and it sucks. and it scares me that this fucked up thing still happens. check your info, save the info, save history. don't let other pieces of shit get away with the horrible stuff they did.

[ just a rant I needed to tell, this is not supposed to be a deep consideration, but maybe I'll elaborate better in the future ]

#sothis ships dimileth

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msm-tsotmw · 11 months

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…Awdajeeo, where’s the Castle?

hm?

The Castle. It isn’t here.

oh, riiiiight. uh, i forgot to mention that the castle is also an epic wubbox-

Excuse me, what?

when nobody’s in the castle, it just gets up. well, i… shouldn’t really say CASTLE, since they’re actually a wubbox. who, uh… daydreams a LOT. and, uh… doesn’t remember a lot of things due to problems with his core.

(also hiiiiiii tumblr moot @paidexp i hope you don’t mind me dropping Edin into here-)

Does— does that mean he’s somewhere now???

yeah.

But Then The Monsters Won’t Have Anywhere To Sleep If The Castle Is Up And Walking Around The Island !

riiiiight… the thing is, us faerie residents don’t really all go to sleep at the same time, unlike other islands.

What

ey just like you sprigg

Shut— shut up, Mondo. I know my sleep schedule sucks ass, but it’s because of the fucking RESEARCH I have to do.

alr

…So, does this Wubbox have a name??

a name? oh, his name’s edin! he’s pretty friendly with a lot of others, so i think becoming his friend won’t be a problem.

Ooh , They Seem Like A Cool Friend !

Toorie, you’re talking about befriending a fucking LIVING SPACE.

What ? You Can Find Friends In Even The Most Unexpected Things . Like A Rock !

(Sprigg faceleafs.)

so uh

are they daydreaming right now

bcs toorie seems like she REALLY wants to meet this guy

i don’t think they are at the moment! he’s mostly just chatting with a ziggurab about stories. really cool stories, to be exact!

Ooh , I Wanna Hear !

yea my friends and i have gone for DAYS without a single one that didnt make us cry so ig one wont hurt

(Ahem.)

i’ll bet they’re over there by that small lake near the faerie forest. anyways, mauna needs some mushrooms to be gathered for the pizza, so i’ve gotta go now!

Alright , See You Later !

(Awdajeeo nods and scuttles away.)

…So, where’s the Faerie Forest again??

maybe uhhh

Over There ! Let’s Go !

oh damn that was fast

(The trio sets off for the small lake.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i’m sorry if I end up writing Edin wrong in the next part gsihbsugugUBuBuhbuhBuhbJHAJBA-

-Mod Jimmy 🗣️

#msm #my singing monsters #msm au #my singing monsters au #furcorn #furcorn msm #ahralliday #ahralliday msm #pompom #pompom msm #mammott #mammott msm

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fcknstar · 1 year

Text

,, when he falls "

- harryosborn x reader

a.n : i havent posted in like two days cause i was catching up on sleep. uhhh i have a lot of ideas and would probably post it later today. this is model harry before he went back to nyc to take over oscorp.

warnings : none , cringy y/n to some ig??

**lowercase intended**

when harry was offered to take a modeling career, he had to. why turn down such opportunities knowing that you are able to get off school. what he didn't know is that it would be tiring. you being his personal stylist made it worse for him. you and your jokes were insufferable. instead of enjoying his time out to model, he had to face you.

" look up, you are not stupid right? " you sighed loudly when harry kept insisting on lowering his head, fully knowing that you need him to look up to make it easier to apply makeup. placing your fingers on his chin gently and lifting it up slowly, you cant help but notice how his gaze falters. did he really hate you? i mean yea, your jokes were probably horrendous, but you were just trying to lighten up the mood. your past experiences with models were way different, they laughed and passed jokes around whenever their with you. so why is he being so hard with you right now. maybe it was just him? so not wanting to annoy him further and to make his day more pleasant, you kept your mouth shut for the rest of the day.

harry noticed your change in behavior, hesitant to question about it.

" you okay? you- , you seem quiet. no rant or anything- " harry looked everywhere but you, he could feel your gaze burning a hole into him. it was almost as if you were trying to build up an answer for him.

" mhm. " was all that you came up with. he knew he wont be able to get you to talk, so he too kept quiet.

when harry was posing for pictures in such clothes, he noticed you standing from afar, watching him. there was when your colleague greeted you with a cup of coffee. he saw how happy you became, the way your colleague would say something - probably a joke, and the way youd laugh and shake your head. harry didnt like the interaction, was there a reason why you wouldn't talk, rant or even try to annoy him. while he was posing for more pictures, his eyes kept flickering to you. you were talking to your colleague, way to focused in it to notice that he was done.

" yea but like i didnt expect such a reaction, yknow? and when i was about to ask hi- " your rant was cut off by harry clearing his throat.

" well hello to you too harry. i should get going, yea? see you.. when i see you? " your colleague pressed a hand on your shoulder, nodding towards harry.

" thanks again for the coffee! " your colleague smiled with adoration, leaving you and harry alone.

" well he got you up and running " he again saw how your mood die down whenever it came to him that day.

not answering, you walked back into the room with harry following you.

the day ended fast, thank god. but hell did the night end fast. the next day, harry had another photoshoot and he was ready to make it up to you. he used the night away from you to reflect on what he had done. so when he expected to be bombarded with a strong cherry perfume that youd always wear, he walked into the dimly lit room. was he late? no, it couldnt be. he was always on time. he had an extra coffee in his hand, remembering how you enjoyed the coffee your colleague prepared, in hopes he could make peace with you ; wishing to hear your awful jokes that youd always make.

placing the coffees he got down, he walked into the studio with the intention to ask his manager whether you are going to show up. before he could even get a word out, you came running in.

" uh sir, im very sorry. ive sent you a message that i was running late but got no reply- " you halted, taking a deep breath in. your boss, who didnt look to angry, nodded who greeted you back with a good morning.

noticing that harry was there and saw the whole interaction, you simply nodded and walked into your room.

" why do you have to be such a klutz, huh? you mess up everything- " you were whispering to yourself, cursing yourself out. you had just woken up late from extra paperwork, and you couldn't seem to forgive yourself as you were always punctual. you cut yourself off when you noticed harry walk in.

straightening your posture, you looked up at him, nodding towards the chair by the vanity waiting for him to settle down.

" here, i got you coffee. " harry place your coffee by your bag.

" uhm, thanks. how much was it? " grabbing your wallet to pay him back when you were met with harrys hand on yours stopping you. harry shook his head, hoping that youd get the message that he didnt want you to repay him. nodding, you place you wallet back in your bag, grabbing the coffee and sipping it, hoping to get more refreshed.

you didnt notice how harry smiled softly, he didnt realize how much he enjoyed your rants and jokes until you decided to shut up.

when harry sat on the chair, getting himself comfortable. he couldn't help but ask, " why dont you ever talk anymore? you know, your rants and jokes? " your movements barely halted, wishing that hed shut up. thats how he probably felt when you couldn't shut up.

" you know, i just don't feel like talking- "

" to me. right? you dont feel like talking to me. i noticed how cheerful and talkative you were with others but me. look, i know i may be harsh in the past and do regret it. i uhh, really enjoy your company and little rants and jokes. i wish i heard more. " harry was now looking at you from the mirror, your expression unreadable. which was rare, knowing how you expressed your feelings whenever you got the chance.

you were about to nod when harry spoke up again.

" no, and don't nod as if you have nothing to say. "

" okay, okay fine. what do you want truly? why so sudden? " you were staring at him. you hated how beautiful he was, hated how he made you feel the few weeks you worked with him.

" because, because i realized how your insufferable jokes made my day. i didnt know how to express my feelings, but you taught me to. " harry twisted his chair, facing you. harry hated how beautiful you were, hated how you made him feel the few weeks he worked with you. maybe he was acting all harsh because the foreign feeling he had was confusing him. did his stomach turn and become all fluttery because he hated you, or was it because he liked you?

you scoffed, walking away. harry grabbed your wrist and pull you towards him, where you fell onto his lap.

" what are you doing- " you voice died down when you realized what was happening. harrys lips was on yours, soft and passionate. you had shared multiple kisses in the past, but nothing felt like this. you didnt realize how bad your heart was thumping. didnt realize how badly you both wanted each other.

#imagines #oneshots #dane dehaan #harry osborn x reader #tasm!harry osborn #tasm!harry osborn x reader #valerian #valerian and the city of a thousand planets #valerianxreader #adult model

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lunarifie · 2 years

Text

Rewatching Ninjago

(With no context other than the episode)

Skybound 3-4

Nya: (holds onto jay because shes scared of the jail prisoners)

Jay: :D

Jay: (falls on his fucking face)

Smooth Jay.

Cole: yeah? Well are these cuffs good enough against my SUPER STRENGTH

Cole (trying his best): just wait, almost got it-

Nya: Theyre not gonna break.

ITS HIM

THE SHITBAG WHO TRIED TO TAKE APART ZANE. FUCK HIM.

Zane: by my observations, that was your own fault by working for a crime boss 🤨

Cant believe Lloyd went to prison at what, 16? 17???

How is the warden not even a little mad that this engineer over here can open all the prison cells with the push of a button????

Nice of them to put all the ninja in one singular cell

Dareth (after failing at one attempt at breaking the ninja out): welp, your on your own!

Its hilarious how some prison-mates have ninja favorites

Like some guy just spit in Coles direction because he’s a Jay fan

Jay: Hey! Its captain Soto! The first captain of the destiny’s bounty!

Captain Soto: And its Jay! The whiny sniveling blue pajama man who says everything obvious.

Honestly though, If wishing for love was something you could do. And something Jay planned on doing. That would end up really fucked up.

Kryptorium is like, the baddest and most secure prison of them all right?

So why tf do all the prisoners have weapons.

This prison is a load of shit

THE GUARDS ARENT EVEN DOING ANYTHING

I remember being so scared as they held Zane down and tried to take his spare parts

This is so disturbing they even opened him up

THANK YOU PIXAL!!!

Lloyd, with a guard holding onto him: We could break out tonight…

The guard: 😮

The guard: lol jk idgaf

The side characters are so unbothered

Nadakhan: I want to return to my home realm. Djinjago.

Ooooo new realm!!!

Wait wait wait

Need to type this down so i dont forget

So, ever since the ninja killed the preeminent and basically making the cursed realm non existent. Due to all the 16 realms being interlocked, djinjago is crumbling into non existence as well?

SO NOW THERES 14 ALIVE REALMS????

Well, that gives nadakhan a motive to hunt the ninja I guess

His plan is to overtake ninjago.

How original.

The ninja escaped!!!!!

The cops are so incompetent.

Kai holding Cole above water as they traverse the sewers 🥺

I love them.

I would also laugh like captain soto if i realized some girl who was gonna fight the djinn looked exactly like his past lover

Hilarious irony

Police chief: I want to find those ninja!!! They could be under our noses for gods sake!

Nya (in a police uniform): im in! Right under their noses… now I need the password to get in.

Jay (also undercover): got it!

Jay (his whiny voice drastically changing to a deep steady one): uhhh whats the password?

Hfjsjbejsntnjw that took me so off guard

Honestly, imagine the amount of ninjago civilians who are still ninja fans and are also ACAB after the police but the ninja in prison. Not to mention how incompetent these cops are 💀

Kai (gets zapped by the junkyard fence): caraful zane! This things electrocuted!

Zane: Yes kai, I think that was abundantly clear by all the ‘danger’ and ‘electricity’ signs 😄

Kai: Hurry up!

Zane: these chains will take me a while. You could keep interrupting me or you could start making yourself USEFUL🙄

Zanes so sassy with Kai

Nadakhan and his ship are in the sky!!!!

Its funny how the ninja are searching for Nadakhan and nadakhan is searching for the ninja but neither can find the other

I remember this episode. Im not ready.

Im crossing my fingers for Jay not to fuck anything up but I already know what happens 😭

Jay: let me! A gentleman- uh i mean uh, a superior! Always pays!

You already fucked up by saying superior 🤨

Jay: (cant find his wallet) oh uh wrong pants…

Nya: (pays for them both)

Aaaand you didnt check if you could even pay beforehand

HFBSJFNSJNRNWJRBEB

THE SMOOTH JAZZ AS NADAKHAN WATCHED NYA TAKE OFF HER HAT AND MUSTACHE DISGUISE IM DYIIING

Nya is speaking fact’s honestly.

Shes trying to convey how she feels about him constantly showcasing that he harbors feelings for her

And hes like “Its because im from a junkyard isnt it 😒”

Like dude i get your insecure but dont come off like that

Nya: (CONTINUES to spit fucking facts about how shes already seen as the ‘girl’ ninja and doesnt wanna be seen as the ninjas ‘girlfriend’)

She let him down so nicely too

she explained why that it wasnt him. It was HER. She cant be tied to ANYONE. It doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with Jay.

Jays apology was actually really nice tho.

Hes forgiven.

I dont blame jay too much. He said ‘I wished I never saw my future’. And its kinda hinted that if he never saw his future he would probably stay friends with Nya and not have a problem with it.

Honestly, if I saw I was fated with someone. Like, LITERAL destiny. I would get a little obsessed too.

Jay. You KNOW Nya looks like Nadakhans lover. Its been CONFIRMED that you guys know this information. So why would he help you get with Nya.

These two are literally in the middle of the street how is nobody seeing a djinn and the blue ninja just waltzing around

Jays wish is actually sorta sweet

“I wish I wasn’t born in a junkyard- I wish I wasnt poor! And I wish, I could give Nya anything she wanted…”

Yeah, it makes me sad that he isnt proud of of where he was raised. But its a sweet thought to want to give Nya only the best.

God. Jays voice sounded so broken when he read the letter, believing Ed and Edna died...

HE LOVES HIS PARENTS SM 😭😭😭

Edna (seeing her son in a police disguise with ketchup on his shirt after breaking out of prison): what's wrong honey? What's all the fuss?

This is it. The part that shattered younger me’s brain.

Ed: Jay... You're adopted.

BOOM.

MIC DROP.

Does Jay EVER return to the fritz donnegan/Cliff Gs mansion after this season? I mean, he inherited it. Did he sell it? Is it just, like, out there?

Jay: that must mean... My real names Jay Gordon?

Nope. Hate it. Youre still Jay walker.

HOW IS JAY THIS LUCKY HFJDJSNFJS

All of Jays wishes have been going his way

Jay wished to not be alone with the djinn, do you know HOW easy it would have been for Nadakhan to trick him

Office lady civilian: So, they finally fixed our office huh :)

(Rockets come shooting from Nadakhans ship)

Office lady: NOT AGAIN

Just another day in ninjago

Nya. There was no reason for you to take off your ninja mask. All that did was show the djinns crew members that you looked like Delara.

Its crazy that some people other than the ninja know spinjitzu

Honestly though, Jay never sought out nadakhan. Hes quite literally being cautious about it too. Making sure nobody is by themselves, that no one says anything about wishes.

Djinn literally did Jays wishes perfect to a T. Why is he screwing Kai over so hard 😭

Kai. you better word your third wish perfectly.

NFNSJFNSJNRR

HIS BULLET WENT STRAIGHT THROUGH GHOST COLE. FIVE TIMES. 💀💀💀

thats literally the funniest way for the realm crystal to break

Kai: I WISH FOR IT ALL TO GO AWAY

Goddammit Kai.

They got Kai trapped in the sword :/

I honestly didnt think he’d get captured

He was the ‘main’ ninja for so long. To take him out this early in the season is new.

Love ninjago for trying new things.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #Rewatching Ninjago

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midnightmisadventures · 3 months

Text

Okay lets play fair and give edward some points

Cause we all know who Bella ends up with

Okay so i need to bring you up to speed on 2 dreams ig

Dream 1:

I was doing my usually dreaming at high school bs and at the end of the day trying to find my bus. It was foggy and rainy and dream dark so I go to the bus I think is mine, and i dont realllyyy recognize the bus or driver but i also hadnt been in a long time and wasnt confident what i remembered. Basically i asked the guy what number it was and he dream mumbled and said "seats 11, blank and blank) are available vibes.

So im still not sure, but i start walking down the isle to the empty seat and then i get to it, and sitting in the one across is Liam. And as i approach we just look at eachother like...uhhh somethings wrong cause we do not share a bus.

He was wearing the famous blue hoodie and it was scrunched around his face. And i said "well, if youre here im definitely on the wrong bus" and he was like "yeaaaaa.....your prob on the wrong bus" but not in a mean way.

So i quick decide, im gonna leave while i still can. Seeing liam is a funny gag but i just want to get home so id rather be on the right bus.

So i turn around to get off and Liam starts going "wait wait wait, arielle" its now that i see he's sitting in his seat with another girl.

The girl is ...... hawkins....like the chocolate. But regardless i turn back around and he's motioning me to come back. And i go like "what?"

And he says "hey, if the bus driver hasn't said anything i wouldn't leave" basically saying "if you havent gotten caught why leave?" which isnt what i was worried about btw. I just wanted to be on the correct bus home. But liam was phrasing it as, like "aww cmon stay, itll be fun, no ones making you leave"

So fine.

I sit down in the seat next to him. And he seems to be happy about it. So we're riding and i think we're doing small talk. But he's also actively bantering with hawkins and im like.....why did i impulsively stay on this bus to be near him if hes with another bitch. Like i didnt notice who she was till too late?

So theyre like playfully bickering. Like not even flirting bc they were already together.... And i hear her be like "uh you cant do that, i LIVE with you, thats so inappropriate, your girlfriend lives with you you cant do that"

I have no idea WHAT he couldnt do, or what they were talking about. But they were joking around and now i knew that they were not only together but hawkins livesss with him.

But then Liam sort of comes over to my seat and starts talking to me again, sort of making jokes. And im trying to not be weird bc he clearly has a girlfriend so even if i did want to be close to him i felt like i couldnt.

But now he's like super close to me, i cant ignore him, he's being sweet and playful and cute. He evenutally, puts his bag on my lap and sprawls out laying on me. Like lays on my lap like he's gonna take a nap.

And i was like he's so cute, but is this crossing a line? Like i can't caress him or play with his hair or feed into this right? His gf is RIGHT there.

So after a little i feel like he could tell i wasnt reciprocating like, he was expecting me to hug on him and play with his hair but i wasnt. But also it mattered that i wasnt like "get offfa me" when he layed on me. Like i was fine with him laying on me and smiled and giggled but i thought it be to far to cuddle him.

And he noticed i wasnt biting so he sat up.

Around then i noticed hmmm, omg is that joel and chris and jake and brighton?? type beat. Like is that christian c**v**t.

So im realizing omg wait is this bus 99? Which isnt technically my current bus but i do know this route i should be able to figure out when to get off. Even if i get off a chip i can uber home.

But honestly im shocked, it wasnt even just bus people it was just highschool people and.....yea most of them were guys.

But i was confused because why was LIAM here. He was never "on my bus"

But suddenly im more comfortable, like wait i know A LOT of these people. I have to know more than him? Like this is actually my territory not his. He doesnt have homecourt advantage....he just has a girl.

And he wasnt.....rubbing hawkins in my face. But cmon im human he's living with his girl and theyre giggling like an old married couple like i WAS jealous.

So i turn around and see christian/donald h****n and im like "hey i thought i was on some random bus, and now i see all of you guys thats wild is this my same bus from before"

like explaining omg i used to be on here i think? or at least i know a lot of these guys used to be on my bus so i know what neighborhoods we're going to.

So im like trying to catch up with Donald and figure out whats going on here. I also wasnt flirting but it felt good to know like...at least i have friends i can talk to and pretend to look cool. Im not isolated and liam wont think im a loser.

But Donald says.....i dont even know how to describe it lol. Donalds like "yea but...i don't even think we utilized our time together, like we didn't kiss, did we?

And...your guess is as good as mine. He was also being so cheeky about it, like "wait we didnt right?....*blushes* i dont even remember us kissing once >.<"

As if thats the bare minimum, how could we not have even done that? we really wasted our time together

But....i've never- , like it was Donald H****n!!!

So immediately im like "no no, thats not what i meant" kinda blushing kinda giggling uncomfortbly lol. Cause like im flattered really but no we never kissed and its not like i asked you if we ever made love lmaoooo like im not talking about that

I also remember being concious that Liam was in earshot and was like oooh i wonder what he's thinking, he must think im a popular hottie. But i dont have confirmation that he heard

Lots of symbolism i know....

Anyway, there isnt much else.

At one point we stopped somewhere and Liam said like "arielle, do this this and this here and theyll help you get home" and it was actually really sweet of him. I remember being grateful that he went out of his way to help me navigate cause he didnt have to....and i was confused where his head was at with me and......karmic. Lol it is not even worth it to call hawkins karmic. SHe didnt even earn that title.

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three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat · 10 months

Note

sorry for hopping into ur ask box i jst dont wanna clog peoples dashs lmao. anyways AUAUAAA thats. :/ albw and alttp are different incarnations in the same hyrule what....... a big reason i havent gotten into LU is because it feels like it reduces the links to extremely specific personality types (like. sksw is the sweet one and time is the stern one and wind is childish and so on and so forth) and while thats not, like, terrible, it does permeate SO MUCH fanon content that it gets a little :[ sometimes. sky is the one that bothers me the most bc if u play past the beginning and watch his dialogue he actually gets more and more like, short and snappy and weary which makes sense bc it is a 38 hour game and his childhood friend tells him he wont see her until he fulfills a destiny he did not pursue so ofc hes DRAGGING himself thru it but !! no one thinks of that they just kinda use the LU char and thats that. idk i certainly hold no ill will to the creator or fans or anythin like that i jst wish one persons interpretation(s) didnt overshadow everyone elses ................. also i know bonus links but what were thos other ones u named !!!!!!?!

YEAH they are very much different links but I guess jojo (the creator) didn't want to deal with another character? None of the other links are combo'ed as far as I'm aware (except for maybe four? I'm not sure if he's supposed to just be mc/fs or if he's supposed to be fsa too)

Yeah they really are reduced down to very little :/ especially in fanon sometimes. notable example include: legend as the snarky/mean/broody/angsty one, sky as a sleepy soft boy, time as the responsible/parental one, etc etc. I have many many problems with this but ESPECIALLY with sky because I am incapable of being normal about anything in that game like. He's not? He's really not? 10 minutes into the game you get "nice hair" and um. I don't know how to break this to you but um. HE SAYS THINGS LIKE THIS A LOT. There's just... everything with Scrapper ("not that guy") and also.

Yeah. I think it's safe to say that he's very willing to fuck with people. (And the chandelier breaking and just-- yeah)

(I could refute the sleepy part too but then I would probably write a whole rant about how he's really not and also how it's unfair to him because he would be the "lazy" one and uhhh I can't say anything else bc I'll just work myself up)

Honestly just as an au in general its not THAT great. I would put it solidly in the "it's okay" category so it's really NOT deserving of how it's taken over EVERYTHING (fun fact-- have you ever tried to look up loz fics on ao3? Well if you haven't, ITS INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT TO FILTER IT ALL OUT. botw and lu fics SOLIDLY dominate a good portion of all the fics and-- man I just wanted to read some link's awakening stuff). Everywhere I go, I see lu names on posts that are not lu (there's using it once as a distinguisher but there comes a point when it's obvious that's not why you're doing it), and if you look up fics with more than one link in them you WILL get lu names and characterization even when explicitly stated to not be lu. Also, and correct me if I'm wrong, but. The hero titles? I'm pretty sure those don't exist (beyond hero of time, which seems to be a general thing), except MAYBE in the context of the names of the clothes you can get in botw with amiibo so like. Bad excuse, buddy

Anyway sorry for ranting I. Did not mean to do that. The other aus I mentioned are @/linked-maze and @/ageless-soul-au. The first is a comic, the other is a fic (which does bear some resemblances with lu at first glance but uh-- yeah it's not (if the alttp and albw combo bugs you a lot they do the same thing). Certainly not my favorite but its not bad)

#i dont think you were also asking about mine but if you WERE-- its not posted yet and really only exists as a few posts on a sideblog #sorry again for ranting lol. dunno what happened bc. i dont dislike lu. i just dont like how its everywhere (and a few characterizations).#really if you get me started on anything with ss ill immediately go nuts (i spent an hour writing a post about its clusterfuck of a timeline #and i think by the end i got very very incomprehensible)#mb and strawberryrosewood scream about hats

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lunar-fey · 1 year

Text

vent or whatever.

when y. when you dont get to eat dinner bc youre broke bc youre disabled and cant hold a job and your parents buy your food but they dont believe in things like "digestive disorders" or "dietary needs" so they basically tell you to either eat something that will make you sick or not eat at all bc they cant go to 3 different places to pick up food and skerples already cant eat the food everyone else eats (autism). and then they get mad at YOU when youre like okay. guess i will not eat then. because they are like ogh youre just being mean because you hate me stip trying to be special and eat it even though it makes you sick like the rest of us >:( like SORRY id rather not eat at all than eat something that will make me throw up. (me and dad have had extended arguments over this. he truly cannot understand this concept and thinks that everyone should eat things that they hate or that make them sick because its food and no one should ever be allowed to like. customize their food or get something else))

they did get me like some potatoes but 1. its like. 3 bites worth (none of us knew it would be that small) and it also tastes awful (i really didnt want to get anything but again they got really pissed at me for saying i just wouldnt eat then (not even like. in a passive agressive way i was just like. uhhh well i think im too sick to eat any of this. itll be fine) and looked like they were gonna cry about me not getting food. like idk but if you care that much about me eating then maybe stop picking the same 2 fast food places that you KNOW and have known for years that i cant eat at. maybe then you wouldnt have to feel bad or whatever. or maybe the real issue is just that you WANT to feel wronged by me + a refusal to accept that people can be sick for their whole lives bc you have been sick for your whole life but refuse to accept it. mom literally cant work and is on ssi bc of her disabilities but also disabilities arent real and no on has them and everyone can just try hard enough to overcome their symptoms. except her of course, because shes your wife. but fuck those kids tho. no matter how old they get they are still too young to have any type of medical problem, because kids are immune to medical problems and adults can simply will them away.)

anyway this time it was taco bell but also just because i want to get this off my chest too im adding it. normally they get like burgers and i can only tolerate mcdonalds burgers and bk to an extent (as far as wjats availble here. i knos everyone hates mcd burgers but they dont upset my stomach like everything else. idk why. they dont taste like a burger but whatever they do taste like is good to me. mostly i think they just taste like salt) and the sheer RAGE dad flies into every SINGLE time he asks what i want and i say i want a cheeseburger with no mustard. he LOOSES HIS SHIT. EVERY SINGLE TIME HE YELLS AT ME FOR IT. im like sorry man but if its got mustard im not gonna eat it. its disgusting. i dont want you to waste money on food im not going to eat. and he gets SO MAD. he doesnt WANT to save money; he wants me to be the perfect little military brat he tried to raise me as who never speaks unless spoken to or asks questions and does as hes told and eats disgusting slop and vomits and says thank you sir. can i please have more sir. and it AINT ME.

anyway if you wanted to know why im bad at starting conversations and you read this far uh. now you know. the ability to speak to someone else first got beaten out of me its not even anxiety i get so scared of getting introuble for starting a conversation that i black out and forget every single interest ive ever had. BUT if someone else starts for me im okay <3

0 notes

floralbfs · 3 years

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hey i jus wanna tell y'all that finding the right therapist for u is A Process but when you do find them everything is so much easier. they care so much about you and genuinely want to help you and make you feel listened to and cared for and safe and idk i feel loved

#today i had therapy for the first time in sooooo long!!!!! aaaa ive missed my therapist #literally i feel so good & happy rn like more than ive had for a while nsbdnsbdnd she always makes me feel so much better 🥺 she rly cares #about me so much and when i tell her things she actually cares so much and she feels for me and like yeah she helps me w fixing it like #thats kinda her job sjdjsj but she genuinely cares and tries to find the best solution for me wrt how i feel and what i can actually do and #what i feel comfortable with etc and if she sees i can't really fix something fully myself and she can help she tries her hardest to help #like that time that my arm ended up full of giant bruises and she talked to my mom and my sister and stuff and like honestly just seeing her #care abt it so much and get angry abt them hurting me and trying to help me just. helped me so much lmao i rly needed someone to care abt me #and just🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭 i rly love her so much djfjjdbd shes such a good therapist and such a good person and going with her for help #rly changed everything for me for the better sjdbsndbns i got so much better abt not only like my depression but also like my situation with #my family and school and the world in general??? i feel like im a better person both towards other people and to myself and i can stand up #for myself more and i literally was able to change like. my whole ass worldview lmao???#ive literally gotten so much better since i started therapy with her and i just think that <3 #also she makes me laugh so much and she understands me so well and just🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭#i had so much to talk abt today but we only talked abt like. my family situation lmaoooo i complained abt. Everything™ and she was so #passionate abt it lmao she was like 👁️👄👁️ WHAT abt like everything i said and she was like “girl why r u like this😭😭 i can't believe u #bear this much please let's try to fix it :((” and then at one point icr what she asked me but i had to explain myself or something but i #didnt know what to say so i was like “UHHH well uh i mean uhhh that's... uh... yeah... well....” and suddenly she was like “omg i love u ive #missed u so much! believe it or not ive missed ur uhhh well uhhh and stuff🥺” and literally i always feel so self conscious abt my #stuttering when im unsure but she made me feel so happy abt it like idk i felt like it was something good?? at least something not bad????#idk i felt Loved with a capital L skbdnsbddb your honor i love my therapist sm #also i havent come out to her abt my transed gender (she knows abt gay) and i wannaaaaaaaaa but idk im coward skdjskdbnsbd and i Know she'd #be cool abt it like she's super cool and shes always protected me abt my sexuality and stuff and also she has another trans patient (i only #know bc i met her once icr how it came up sjfjsjdb) and idk she was rly good abt it??? im just Fear lmao #anyways sorry for the oversharing sjhdjsbdjs <3 #also just know if you're having a hard time: it Will get better. please look for help and know that bad things don't last forever!! i love u #things will work out and things will get better and you will be happy again #honey talk #ask to tag

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pesterloglog · 3 months

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John Egbert, Meenah Peixes

Meat, page 22

JOHN: why am i even THINKING about this bullshit??

JOHN: argh!

MEENAH: yo blue guy

MEENAH: get the shell down here

JOHN: thank god. i was beginning to think that no one else was alive.

MEENAH: im not alive

JOHN: oh right. sorry.

JOHN: i’m glad to see you, is what i meant to say.

MEENAH: same

MEENAH: i fuckin guess

MEENAH: i gotta say

MEENAH: damn buoy ya look like S)-(IT

JOHN: yeah, i know.

JOHN: i suffered a mortal wound, and then i threw up on myself.

JOHN: other than that, i’m ok though.

MEENAH: waterboat lord english

MEENAH: he bite the bullet or what

JOHN: yeah he’s...

JOHN: he’s pretty fucking dead.

MEENAH: whale

MEENAH: theres that at least

JOHN: hey, uh...

JOHN: mee...

JOHN: fish?

JOHN: (christ.)

MEENAH: meefish?

JOHN: no, i know that’s not your name.

JOHN: jesus christ. i’m sorry.

MEENAH: its meenah

JOHN: right. meenah.

JOHN: um.

JOHN: have you by any chance seen jade around?

MEENAH: who da fuck is jade

JOHN: well...

JOHN: she’s...

JOHN: i dunno.

JOHN: i mean, REALLY?

JOHN: you don’t know jade?

MEENAH: why the fuck you suppose im tight with some random ass ho

JOHN: jade’s like, a big deal?

JOHN: i thought you were kind of important too?

MEENAH: you didnt even know my name dog

JOHN: ugh.

JOHN: wait a minute.

JOHN: do you even know MY name?

MEENAH: uhhh

JOHN: this is a two way street you know.

MEENAH: nah

JOHN: nah, what?

JOHN: so you don’t know it?

MEENAH: like

MEENAH: joke?

MEENAH: joke somefin

JOHN: no!

JOHN: it’s john.

JOHN: joke is my biological father.

JOHN: i mean JAKE!

JOHN: jake is his name.

JOHN: dammit.

JOHN: alright, we’re veering off course.

JOHN: jade is my sister.

JOHN: i think she’s still out here, somewhere.

JOHN: have you seen her?

MEENAH: na man

JOHN: man i...

JOHN: i just didn’t expect everything to go to shit so fast.

MEENAH: thats how the shit alwaves goes

JOHN: yeah, i guess.

JOHN: so... never mind jade. have you seen...

JOHN: any OTHER survivors? like, anyone at all?

MEENAH: nope

MEENAH: i aint moved from this floatin hunger trunk lookin piece of shit since i got my bass kicked

JOHN: well, you’re the first i’ve seen too.

MEENAH: oh

JOHN: so what’s your plan now?

MEENAH: plan

JOHN: yeah.

JOHN: you just gonna hang around here, in the middle of nowhere, doing nothing forever?

MEENAH: thats what ghosts is most good at aint they

JOHN: you don’t have to stay here.

JOHN: i can take you back with me, to my planet.

JOHN: i mean, after we’re done looking for more survivors.

MEENAH: naaah

JOHN: why not?

MEENAH: ok for one thing genius

MEENAH: im dead

MEENAH: i wont even last on your planet ill just like

MEENAH: fade away or some shit

MEENAH: i dont know what happens to ghosts in real places actually but ima guess it goes somefin like that

JOHN: oh yeah.

JOHN: whoops, i forgot.

MEENAH: anyway while you was floatin there i came up with my own plan

JOHN: what is it?

MEENAH: cmere

MEENAH: gonna whisper it to you

JOHN: uh, ok.

MEENAH: (nerd)

MEENAH: reel cute you wanna be my savior blue boy

MEENAH: but the fact is you already helped me out

MEENAH: got everyfin i need from you

MEENAH: sea ya round sucker! 38)

JOHN: wait a...

JOHN: minute...

JOHN: wait a fucking MINUTE!

JOHN: fuck!

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #john egbert #meenah peixes #meat epilogue #page 22

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neonlights92 · 3 years

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Night Changes: PART TWO

Jeon Jungkook has spent the last twenty years alone. Single. Solo.

And that’s just the way he likes it. That is, until he meets the supposed love of his life. Suddenly he’s falling over himself at the chance of a real relationship with someone.

The only thing getting in his way? You.

genre: fuckboy!jungkookie, college!jungkookie, romcom, e2l (kinda)

AN: I am so fuckin soft for college Kook you wouldn’t even belieeeeeve

Within days of their ‘truce’, Jungkook realises what a huge dickhead he truly is for not remembering Y/N’s name.

She shares his timetable almost entirely.

“I’m the worst.” He bemoans after a particularly stressful lecture on American poetry, “You weren’t kidding when you said you were in all my classes.”

“Almost all your classes.” She laughs a little at the look on his face and shrugs, “I did tell you.”

“It makes perfect sense now why you hate me.”

Y/N nudges him playfully and shakes her head, “I don’t hate you.” “Yes you do.” He sniffles dramatically, “And you should. I’m an asshole.”

She pulls a face, “Now what am I meant to do here? Tell you that you’re not an asshole? That would be lying.” Jungkook reaches for his heart theatrically and frowns.

“I deserve that.”

She scoffs playfully, “Shut up, Jungkook.”

It’s been exactly four days since Jungkook and Y/N began to hatch their plan to try and get their respective soulmates to fall in love with them.

And though Y/N’s original idea was to host some kind of movie night at her apartment Jungkook has been slowly persuading her into throwing a full blown party. Park Jimin is an absolute animal, Jungkook promises her (that’s a huge stretch, but what college student doesn’t like alcohol and loud music?) and throwing a party is a surefire way to get him to agree to coming.

But Y/N isn’t so easily swayed.

“I’m going to make it up to you,” Jungkook tells her confidently, “I’m going to make sure that you and Jimin get together, and then when you have beautiful babies together you’ll be thanking me. And we’ll forget all about the incredibly unfortunate way we met each other.” Y/N’s smile is soft, but Jungkook sees it.

“I know you will,” She says, “I have faith in your matchmaking abilities, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Which reminds me….Did you think about what I said, Y/N?”

Jungkook has to admit - he really likes having her around. Try as he might at first to have seen the worst in her, he has to admit Y/N’s not half bad.

“About the party?”

He winks, “Bingo!”

“It’s a bad idea.”

“Oh my god-”

“No, because I’m such a wallflower,” She insists, shaking her head firmly, “Jimin will just think I’m boring.”

“I’ll help you come out of your shell. I’ve told you that already. It will be like a life lesson for you - a chance to shine in the spotlight.”

“I don’t shine,” Y/N is whining now, “It’s stupid to even try.”

“No it’s not,” Jungkook insists, “Everybody shines. In their own way. Everybody.” He feels kind of awful for her.

How can she even think that way about herself?

“You don’t - it’s not. C’mon Jungkook I can’t-”

“What about the night we met?” Jungkook interrupts, as the two round the corner of Jungkook’s street, “You were partying then, weren’t you? You were shining then?” She flushes, “That’s different.”

“How?” She shuts her eyes for a moment. Jungkook worries he might have pushed her too far. He slips his bottom lip between his teeth and just as he opens his mouth to apologise she sighs heavily.

“It’s stupid.”

He brushes a hand over her shoulder, “It’s not.”

Her eyes open and he’s taken aback by the softness there.

He wants to reach out and maybe pat her cheek but he decides against it. Fuckboy or not, Jungkook is not the kind of guy to do that. Is he? No. He isn’t.

Besides. Soomi.

“Okay. Okay. I’ll throw the damn party. But you’re helping me with everything, okay?”

Jungkook feels something like electricity shoot up his ass. (He won’t ever tell anyone else he thought that.)

“Yes! This is going to be perfect Y/N I swear. Jimin will love it. So will you,” He grins like he’s hit the jackpot, “It’s the last day of semester in three weeks time. We’ll use that as a reason okay? And we’ll plan everything together. It will be amazing.” Y/N’s eyes dart across Jungkook’s face nervously.

She seems to be looking for something - what he’s not sure - but after a moment she nods.

“Fine. Okay. End of semester,” Her lips fall into a small smile, “Do you think this will work?”

They stop at the entrance of Jungkook’s building.

“It’s perfect Y/N. I swear. Just perfect.”

When her smile widens Jungkook thinks he’s never seen her look better.

“I’m trusting you Jungkook.” She narrows her eyes playfully, “Don’t fuck it up.”

He crosses his index finger across his chest and nods determinedly.

“Trust me, Y/N. We’ll have Park Jimin eating out of your hand before you know it.”

And he really believes it, too.

The next day Jungkook runs into Y/N at lunchtime. He hasn’t seen her in any of his classes today and when he texts her to tell her this, she reminds him that Friday is the only day they don’t share a timetable.

He has to admit he’s kind of bummed.

So when he finds himself wandering into the campus garden with Hoseok trailing less than enthusiastically behind him, his eyes zero in on her immediately.

She’s eating some kind of burrito - probably extra spicy as she’s told him that’s the only way to eat Mexican food - and reading a book. Of course she’s reading a book.

Nerd.

“Hey Hobi let’s go sit over there.” He points her out to his friend and Hoseok raises a brow.

“Who’s that?” “Y/N.”

“Y/N?” His brow raises even higher if possible, “Y/N as in the girl you slept with who’s name you can’t remember and who’s roommate you are in love with? And who you’ve promised to help set up with Park Jimin? That Y/N.” Jungkook frowns, “Well when you say it like that…” He rolls his eyes, “Shut up. Let’s just go.” Hoseok shrugs and follows his friend - what good will it do him to argue anyway? - and when Jungkook reaches his destination he clears his throat noisily. Y/N looks up and Jungkook notices she’s wearing a pair of thick-framed glasses. He has to admit… She looks kind of adorable in them.

The moment recognition dawns on her face, Y/N’s lips lift.

“Hi.” Jungkook’s smile widens when she grins up at him.

“Hi.” She shifts slightly, “What are you uh - doing here?” “Stalking you obviously,” Jungkook takes a seat beside her on the blanket she’s set up to eat on, and gestures for Hoseok to do the same, “This is my friend Hoseok. The one I said dances with your boyfriend.” She wrinkles her nose and flushes, “Jungkook! He’s not my boyfriend.” She turns to Hoseok and smiles softly, “Hi.”

Hoseok - to his credit - doesn’t seem to mind the Jimin comment. He smiles back at her.

“Hi Y/N.”

Jungkook unwraps the dismal lunch he’s made himself - a sweetcorn and tuna salad - and gestures to the book sitting in Y/N’s lap.

“What’s that?”

She looks down and then up, “Oh. It’s uh - god. It’s stupid.” Jungkook quirks a brow, “C’mon tell me. What is it.” She hesitates for a second and then rolls her eyes, seemingly accepting her fate.

Jungkook almost wants to remind her that they’re friends - she shouldn’t be embarrassed in front of him - but he stays quiet.

She lifts the book to show him the cover.

“It’s a book on gaining confidence.” Her shoulders shrug, “I thought it might help. Y’know… With the whole…” Her eyes flit over to Hoseok briefly, “Jimin thing.”

Hoseok chuckles and it catches Jungkook off guard.

He’d almost forgotten his friend was there.

“That’s adorable,” Hoseok comments, “Man if a girl did that for me I’d be beyond flattered.” Y/N’s cheeks flush and she shakes her head, “No - I mean. I don’t know. It’s not just for him…”

“Still.” She bites her bottom lip and shrugs, “I mean I guess. Yeah. He should be flattered.” Hoseok laughs again and Jungkook has a sneaking suspicion his friend might be flirting.

He doesn’t like that.

Y/N is not for Hoseok. Not at all.

“Well she’s not reading the book for you,” Jungkook tells him, trying to control his anger, “She’s reading it for Jimin.” Hoseok raises a brow. He takes a moment and then smiles again.

“I gathered.”

Jungkook spends the rest of the lunch break trying to stop whatever weird energy Hoseok and Y/N have going on.

There is absolutely no way in hell that Jung Hoseok thinks he can just swoop in and ruin all his plans, right? Y/N needs to fall in love with Jimin. Park Jimin needs to be the one laughing with her and smiling at her and flirting with her.

He’s absolutely livid by the time Y/N scurries off to class.

“What the fuck was that?” Hoseok pulls a face, “What?”

“That. That… Flirting. What was that?” Jungkook has barely even touched his lunch (and it’s got nothing to do with the absolute miserable state of it, he swears.)

Hoseok seems confused for only a moment later. Then his face opens up.

“Oh, right.” He shakes his head, “I wasn’t flirting, Jungkook.” Jungkook hates the look on his friend’s face. Like he knows something Jungkook doesn’t.

“What’s that look for Hoseok?” Hobi chuckles and shakes his head, “Nothing Jungkook. Absolutely nothing.” Jungkook spends the rest of the day thinking about that godforsaken look.

Jungkook wakes up the next morning (which thank god happens to be a Saturday,) to a text message from Y/N. He’s been trying to convince her to use more emojis - but she refuses.

Secretly, he finds her texting kind of cute.

But he’ll never tell her that.

Y/N: Are you free today?

Jungkook: as a bird. what did you have in mind?? :)

Y/N: It’s my birthday. Soomi is taking me out bowling. Wanna come?

Jungkook feels his heart swim all the way up to his throat.

Soomi? And wait what - it’s Y/N’s birthday? He’s sort of offended she only brought it up now.

Jungkook: uhhh… what?? happy fuckin birthday y/n!!! ur naughty!!! birthday ??? why didnt you tell me yesterday???

Y/N: You’re an English Lit student. Use proper vocabulary and grammar please. And I don’t know I didn’t think it was a big deal.

Jungkook: u cant change me boo… u just text like a granny. its your birthday stupid ofc its a big deal. mind if i invite some of my friends??

It’s a few minutes before Y/N finally replies.

Y/N: Yeah. Sure. Meet us at Blue Pins in an hour?

Jungkook: c u there… birthday girl!!!!!

Y/N: Ugh.

Jungkook smiles at the way she still acts like she hates him even though he knows she doesn’t really.

It really is the start of a beautiful friendship.

An hour later Jungkook finds himself sat in a booth with Hoseok, Taehyung and Namjoon, nervously tapping his fingers against the surface of the table.

Hoseok clicks his tongue loudly and grabs his friend's hand from across the booth. His eyes are narrowed a little.

“Will you calm down?” “Are you kidding?” Jungkook’s eyes are as wide as a pair of saucers, “I’m about to meet the woman I’m going to marry.”

Hoseok scoffs at that and Taehyung scrolls through his phone, bored as always.

After a moment, Taehyung clears his throat, “He said yes.”

Jungkook feels like his heart has just fallen out of his asshole.

“What?”

“Jimin said yes,” Taehyung rolls his eyes, almost as if he’s annoyed at this spectacular outcome, “He’ll come to Y/N’s party at the end of the semester..”

“Oh fuck YES!” Jungkook fist pumps the air in joy as Hoseok chuckles in delight.

“You’re overreacting,” Namjoon tells his friend seriously, “Jimin coming does not equal Jimin falling in love with Y/N.”

“It gets me one step closer though,” Jungkook feels lighter already, “And one step closer to that means one step closer to Soomi falling in love with me.”

Namjoon snorts out a laugh, “Stop it.”

“What?” Jungkook takes a swig from the cappuccino he insisted on ordering as soon as they arrived, “It’s true.”

“You’re not seriously thinking you’re in love with this girl Jungkook?” Hoseok’s eyes dance with mirth, “I know you man.”

“What do you mean?”

Hoseok raises a dubious brow, “You’re the ultimate fuckboy.”

“I am not.”

“Yes. You are.” Taehyung tacks on helpfully, “Notoriously so, actually.”

“Shut up.”

Jungkook doesn’t want to admit it but he knows his friends are kind of right. Sue him - he’s young and handsome and he’s in college. Everybody fucks around in college.

“And anyway I don’t actively pursue girls unless I have the intention of taking it somewhere.” Jungkook crosses his arms, “A fuckboy I may be, but a dickhead I am not.”

“Says the guy who forgot Y/N’s name after a vigorous night of lovemaking.” Namjoon grins like the cat who got the cream and Jungkook wants to smack him.

“You can thank your dear friend Kim Taehyung for that.” Jungkook replies sharply, narrowing his eyes at his so-called childhood best friend.

Taehyung gasps like he can’t believe what Jungkook’s just said.

“Seven tequilas on an empty stomach is never a good idea Tae,” Jungkook rolls his eyes, “You kept insisting.”

Taehyung answers with a flippant wave of his hand, eyes finally moving away from his phone, “Whatever. You’re an adult, right? You could’ve said no.”

“Not when free alcohol is involved.” “Anyway Kookie, the point is you can’t be in love.” Hoseok leans back like he’s just discovered the meaning to life. Always so smug.

Jungkook can’t help but find it a little annoying.

“And how, oh wise one, are you coming to this conclusion?” Jungkook’s tone is dripping with sarcasm. He raises a brow at his friend and gives him the most pointed look he can manage.

It’s still Hoseok and Jungkook has to admit he respects his opinion the most.

“Because you’re you. And you barely know this girl.” Hoseok rolls his eyes, “That’s how.”

“I find that offensive,” Jungkook retorts, “People are allowed to change and grow. Now I’ve met Soomi I’m different.”

Namjoon shakes his head, “There’s no point, Hobi. We all tried, believe me. But he’s decided that he’s in love with her. Just get on board with it.”

Jungkook sends Hoseok a toothy grin once he swallows the last of the cappuccino and nods emphatically.

He knows what his friends think of him.

That he’s slutty and careless. That commitment scares the shit out of him. That he’s incapable of monogamy. A combination of all of the above.

But Jungkook knows the truth. He didn’t want a girlfriend before this because he hadn’t met someone that made sense to him.

And what’s the point of being with someone unless you’re all in?

“Anyway when you’re guests at our wedding it’ll all make sense,” Jungkook pushes his empty coffee cup to the side, “We’re meant to be.”

Taehyung laughs at this - despite himself - and Hoseok and Namjoon chuckle too.

“Jungkook?” The sound of someone calling his name causes him to turn quickly, eyes widening when he sees who it is. Y/N. She’s smiling at him of course - but that’s not what causes Jungkook to almost go into cardiac arrest.

No. Of course not.

It’s the beautiful angel standing beside Y/N that causes him to almost forget how to breathe.

“Hi,” He squeezes out despite himself, eyes riveted to Soomi’s beautiful face, “Hi.”

Soomi smiles and Jungkook is immediately breathless.

“Jungkook right? Y/N’s… Friend.” The suggestive tone annoys Jungkook - he can’t have Soomi thinking he belongs to anyone else but her - and he nods.

“Yeah.” “But just a friend now,” Y/N pipes up helpfully, “We… Uh… Worked through our differences. And now we’re friends. Just friends. Totally platonic.” Jungkook thinks she’s kind of overkilling the whole thing but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he smiles at Soomi and watches as her face puts two and two together.

Yes. Yes.

Jungkook wants her - no he needs her to know that he’s single.

Really single.

Totally single and available and hers.

Namjoon clears his throat somewhere from Jungkook’s left. He turns to his friends and nods quickly.

“Right. Yes of course. My friends - these are my friends. Taehyung and Namjoon, and Y/N you’ve already met Hoseok.” The two share a small wave. Jungkook ignores the stab of annoyance that sends to his gut.

“Hi,” Soomi smiles in a way Jungkook is sure is almost too heavenly to be real, “I’m Soomi.” God. He really is a goner.

Jungkook doesn’t want to brag, but he is pretty good at bowling.

Okay. Who’s he kidding?

He totally wants to brag.

The moment Y/N splits them up into two teams - Soomi, Jungkook and her versus Namjoon, Hoseok and Taehyung - he’s determined to win.

He has to win.

He has to show Soomi one of his many, many, many talents.

“You’re pretty good at this,” Soomi remarks as he throws his first strike, “Or is that just beginner’s luck?”

Jungkook shakes his head and shrugs, “I’d say I’m pretty good.”

Her giggle is music to his ears.

“That’s impressive. What kind of girl doesn’t want a man who can throw a strike?”

Jungkook smirks, “That’s what I always say.” Her eyes crinkle at the side when she smiles and though it's not quite as adorable as Y/N’s - he’ll never admit this out loud - she still looks so sweet his heart constricts almost painfully in his chest. He forgets for a moment where he is, laying on the charm thick.

“Is that how you seduce poor unsuspecting women then? With your bowling skills?”

He winks in that way that usually works and his smirk widens, “You know it!”

Soomi giggles again and Jungkook is surprised at how smoothly this all seems to be going - when the sound of somebody throwing a gutter grabs his attention.

His eyes lift - thinking it has to be the other team - and he furrows his brow when he sees Y/N standing at the very top of the bowling lane, staring at the full set of pins in front of her.

Holy shit.

Jungkook momentarily forgets about Soomi - his competitive nature kicked into overdrive - as he shoots up from his seat and rushes towards Y/N.

“Oh my god,” He’s right beside her in an instant, “Was that you?”

Y/N looks up at him - cheeks flushed - and nods, “Yeah. I’m terrible at bowling.”

“So why would you choose to come here? On your birthday?”

Jungkook is somewhere between disbelief and pure horror. But he has to admit, the look on her face is sort of funny. She’s mortified.

“Soomi suggested it. She said it might be fun,” She looks away for a moment, “For her maybe.”

The sound of someone scoring a strike blares to Jungkook’s left and when he sees Taehyung performing some kind of ridiculous victory dance, he decides enough is enough.

“No. No.” Jungkook sets his jaw, “I’m going to help you.”

Y/N’s brow lifts, “What?” “I’m going to help you. You’re going to score a strike.”

She snorts out a laugh.

“I don’t think you realise how truly terrible I am at this.”

“And I don’t think you realise how truly competitive I am,” He gestures to the balls, “Grab the lime green. That’s the lightest.”

Y/N watches him for a moment longer. She looks behind him and moves her hand in the general direction of Soomi.

“What about Soomi?” He flares his nostrils, “She’ll still be there after I finish helping you.”

Y/N stares at him, and when Jungkook cocks his head towards the row of balls lining the back of the bowling alley, she shrugs and follows his command.

Jungkook takes this as a moment to teach Y/N how to shine.

After all, what better way to fell good about yourself than being good at something you always thought you sucked at?

When Y/N comes back with the lime green ball, he grabs her free arm and positions her to stand with her back to his chest, wordlessly.

“Woah.” Y/N breathes, “What are you doing?”

Jungkook’s mouth is right beside her ear, “Just follow me okay? I’m helping you, I swear.”

He slides his hand down to the ball and grips her fingers carefully.

“Don’t hold too much tension in your wrist,” He tells her sternly, “You’re too tense. You’re always too tense. Relax.” Something strange passes between them. Y/N takes a long, deep breath, and Jungkook tries to concentrate on the task at hand.

“Now slowly, slowly, bring the ball back,” Y/N follows Jungkook’s movements, “And… Release.”

He helps her flick it onto the lane, and they watch in suspense as the ball spins towards the pins. There is almost a moment where everything is suspended in time - before the ball crashes with the pins and nine of them fall down.

Y/N squeals in happiness and turns around sharply, throwing her arm around Jungkook’s neck and pressing herself against him in a hug.

“Thank you Jungkook!” She is smiling so widely, his heart turns, “You’re the best.”

“You’re welcome.” Jungkook finds he’s grinning too, “You deserve it. Happy birthday Y/N.” He pushes some hair out of her face - practical purposes of course, it was getting in her eyes - and she seems to catch her breath at the gesture. They stare at each other for a moment, before someone clears their throat from behind them and they break apart. Soomi is standing between them, holding a bubble gum pink bowling ball.

Jungkook wonders almost flippantly if she only picked it up for it’s colour.

“It’s my turn, right?” She turns her smile on Jungkook and he melts.

God.

She’s beautiful.

“Right.” Jungkook smiles back, “Your turn.”

When he turns to move back to their booth he notices Y/N watching their interaction carefully. Her eyes flit away the moment she’s caught, but Jungkook knows what he saw.

Strange.

Very strange indeed.

Later on that evening, after they’ve all shared a pizza, and Jungkook has spent the rest of the night watching Soomi with hearts in his eyes, Hoseok clears his throat with purpose.

They’re sat in their living room - Hoseok has decided to crash over because, why not? - and playing a midnight mario kart match, when Jungkook’s friend seems to have something to say.

Jungkook pauses the game. He turns to Hoseok.

“Yes?” There is a brief moment of silence. Taehyung is forever scrolling through his phone, and Namjoon has long ago gone to bed. Hoseok clicks his tongue.

“Are you sure you like Soomi?”

The question completely throws Jungkook off.

He raises a questioning brow, “What?”

“I’m just - asking. I’m just…” Hoseok turns to Taehyung for support. When his friend doesn’t notice, he smacks him across the shoulder, “Tae.”

“What?”

Jungkook narrows his eyes, “Have you guys talked about this?” Taehyung seems to realise where the conversation has just come from. He actually locks his phone and sets it to one side.

“Yeah.” Taehyung answers honestly, “We have.” “I’ve told you guys a million times. I know I barely know her but -” “That’s not it.” Hoseok licks his bottom lip, “I mean it’s crazy you think you fell in love at first sight but… Stranger things have happened.” Jungkook scoffs, “So? Why have you asked then?” Another beat.

Taehyung sighed heavily, “Because we think you like Y/N.”

“What the fuck?” Jungkook snorts out a laugh because really - what else can he do?, “Why the fuck would you think that?” His friends share another look and Jungkook hates that.

He hates that they think they know him better than he knows himself.

Hoseok shakes his head, “Just a feeling.” “A feeling that’s wrong.” Jungkook states firmly, “Dead wrong.” Taehyung nods and picks up his phone, “Fine. Alright. We’re wrong then.” Hoseok seems like he wants to say more but he doesn’t opting instead for something that sounds sort of like a grunt.

Jungkook watches his friends for a moment longer.

“Yeah. So wrong.”

That night, when Jungkook’s just about to go to bed he receives a text message. He opens his phone, expecting Y/N and finding, instead, an unrecognised number staring back at him.

Soomi: hiiiii jungkook :) it's soomi… y/n gave me ur number. hope u dont mind.

Jungkook pushes his friends’s ridiculous theory to the back of his head, and focuses instead on the fact that Soomi has just texted him. His thumbs move to answer her but he pauses, moving instead to open Y/N’s chat history.

Jungkook: hey. happy bday again champ. u da bomb!! also thanks for giving soomi my number. u a real one for that, chief!!! :) :) :)

Y/N’s reply comes only a few minutes later.

Y/N: Thank you Jungkook. I appreciate it. And no worries… She seemed to really be into you after tonight. So well done, yeah? :)

Jungkook smiles at the emoji that he imagines Y/N forced herself to add, and almost misses the part when she says Soomi was into him.

Right. Yeah. Perfect.

He opens up Soomi’s chat and starts to write out a reply.

This is exactly what he wanted.

TAGLIST: @cuddleboo @veronawrites @minluvly @severetimetravelnerd @moonchild1 @bunnyjeonjk @multicolourunicorn @somewhereinthestarss @jwlmnbt @jojo-suga @zera10 @ggukkieland @thesugatoyourtae @dxlbts @wxndi

#bts #college!jungkook #fuckboy!jungkook #fanfic #fanfiction #bangtan #jeon jungkook #smut #angst #romcom #imagine

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