#sburban coffee | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

davejade-daily · 5 months

Text

whoa writing its like christmas up in here

or something like that

anyway have the first installment of the coffee shop au

---

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:47.

TT: Dave.

TT: I went to Karkat’s place of work.

TT: That cafe. Suburban Coffee.

TG: yeah yeah

TG: sburban coffee

TG: theres no u for some reason

TG: karkat thinks that the manager ate it or some weird shit like that

TT: And there’s this girl.

TG: oh?

TT: She types so fast. So well. With such purpose.

TG: one might even say hotly

TT: Yes, Dave. She types hotly. I’m currently twirling my hair and swooning from her sheer typing prowess.

TG: whoa so swoon-worthy

TG: better have someone ready to catch you when you faint from her hot as fuck typing

TT: Come with me today. I'll show you how hot her typing is. And, you can provide a cushion from when I inevitably swoon by being in her presence.

TG: alright

TG: sure

TG: cant say no to an opportunity to get caffeine

TG: and bother karkat while were at it

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:58.

The cafe is nestled between several other shops, and it announces itself with a bright green sign. Sburban Coffee, it declares in big, blocky lettering. The outside is painted an unassuming gray-brown to match the rest of its neighbors, and there are colourful flowers in flowerpots clustered by the door. In the window, Dave can make out the shapes of many, many people inside.

The door chimes happily as Dave and Rose walk inside. The strong, strong smell of coffee immediately hits Dave. Inside, the cafe is bustling, and every table has at least one person sitting. The walls are a pretty orange, and there’s a wall with potted plants sitting on shelves. He spots Karkat at the register, looking as depressed and mildly angry as he always does. There is a smiley-face sticker on the register, along with a frowny-face. He notes the crab pin on his apron. Karkat is not the type to accessorize; Dave wonders what is different about the pin. Rose tugs him into line, and Dave begins to scrutinize the menu. He never knows what to get from coffee shops. There’s too many fancy names and words to know, and he usually just defaults to a latte. However, this time he feels like he needs to branch out a bit, try something new and all that jazz.

DAVE: hey rose

DAVE: youre smart

DAVE: whats an americano

DAVE: is it like

DAVE: essence de la america

DAVE: does it taste like eagles and football

DAVE: and FREEDOM

DAVE: its not tea right i dont want to be unpatriotic

DAVE: gotta make ol g washy proud

ROSE: It’s an espresso drink diluted with water.

ROSE: Now shush. Look over there.

ROSE: That's the girl.

Dave subtly looks over in the direction Rose indicates. The person in question has their back to him, but he can see that they’re wearing an emerald sweater and a long skirt. They also have the Lesbian Haircut™. He can see why Rose likes them. Rose pulls him forward again as the line moves up. They are now second in line, and Dave still doesn’t know what he wants. He sticks his hands in his pockets and does the patented Cool Guy Slouch to hide his indecision and decides to look at Karkat instead. He can’t imagine a guy like Karkat working at a coffee shop, yet here he is. Green apron, gray sweater. Dave doesn’t think he’s ever seen Karkat wear anything different. He might be an escaped extra from a cartoon TV show. Dave idly wonders why he’d liked Karkat back in high school. He seems all cool and tough from the outside but he’s really just a big, pathetic nerd with an extra large side of wet-cattiness.

BARISTA: hey, i can take you guys over here!

Dave stops staring awkwardly at Karkat and instead turns his attention to things like moving. He studies the barista at their register as they walk over.

His first impression: oh, she’s cute.

Man, what was that line of thought?? He internally winces. Anyway. Lame thoughts aside, the barista is very put together, at least in comparison to Karkat. Granted, the bar is low. So low, in fact, it could be a speed bump. Her name tag cheerfully declares her name as Jade in loopy green handwriting, along with a plant sticker. Colorful pins flash at him from her apron.

ROSE: Dave.

ROSE: Are you going to order?

Dave blinks, startled out of his thoughts. He decides to go for something smooth, suave, dare he say, even cool?

DAVE: uh yeah

DAVE: hey love

DAVE: shit

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: lovely lady?

Dave begins questioning all his life choices, and contemplates throwing himself out the window. Actually, no, it’s a first floor window. That’d just be embarassing. He might catch fire instead. That’s a better option. One flaming hot Dave, coming right up. It would be better than whatever this train wreck of a conversation is.

Thankfully, the barista – Jade – is far cooler than he is, and just laughs.

JADE: hey yourself, good sir

JADE: what can i get you

DAVE: i was hoping you had a recommendation for me

JADE: uhh, well

Jade turns to look at the board behind her, ponytail swinging. Dave takes this moment to regain his composure, ignoring the look Rose is undoubtedly giving him. The eyebrows are so totally up. He can feel their skeptical vibes. He rearranges his face to that of a distant, aloof expression. What flaming dumpster fire? There is only Dave. Cool Dave. He is so calm and composed. Everybody wants to be him when they grow up. Jade turns back around.

JADE: i think the cinnamon caramel chai is pretty good!!

DAVE: alright ill take that

JADE: your drinks will be ready in a minute

Rose pays, and Dave absconds walks calmly over to an empty table and claims it, taking the seat that puts his back to the register. Totally not because of what jsut happened.. After a moment, Rose slides into the chair opposite him.

ROSE: Dave.

ROSE: What was that?

DAVE: what was what you saw nothing there was no dumpster fire

DAVE: besides youre one to talk miss she types hotly huh huh

DAVE: shut up rose put those eyebrows away or ill shave them off in your sleep

ROSE: Dave, I haven’t seen you this bad since-

DAVE: DONT EVEN SAY IT HES RIGHT THERE

Smooth, Dave. Now everyone in the cafe is looking at you, probably even Karkat. He melts into his chair. Can this get any worse? He looks over at the register, checking to see if their drinks are done. Karkat is looking in their direction, vaguely confused. The poor barista that Dave totally ruined any chances he had with her has disappeared. Maybe she ran for the hills from the total weirdo that she just met. Oh, nope, there she is, shaking a bottle of milk. He pretends to stare off into space, in a cool fashion. Out of the corner of his eye, though, he studies her again. He hadn’t gotten much of a chance to before, as he’d been otherwise occupied. Jade is a fairly tall girl with long, dark hair currently up in a ponytail that swings every time she moves. She has round glasses and a pretty smile. Unlike Karkat, she is wearing a tasteful orange shirt with her apron. He notes that she and Karkat move around each other easily – which surprises Dave – and while he can’t hear their conversation, they appear to be chatting. Karkat doesn’t like most people. Dave considers himself one of the lucky few that get to be Karkat’s friend.

---

Well, that was weird, Jade thinks as she begins making the latest coffee order: a latte with four shots of espresso, with a little dark roast on top. She’s a little worried for the girl who’d just ordered it. She hopes that she isn’t responsible for her inevitable death by sheer amount of caffeine. Reaching around Karkat (who gives her a salty look that she knows holds no real bite) for the pitcher, she begins to fill it with water. Beside her, Karkat shifts, and she knows he’s about to ask her about what just happened.

KARKAT: HEY JADE, WHAT HAPPENED?

Called it. Jade has what she likes to call her “KARKAT SENSE.” She can always tell when he’s going to do something particularly weird, which to be fair is pretty much just Karkat’s natural state.

JADE: with the sunglasses dude?

JADE: poor guy i feel bad for him

JADE: he looked like he might die of embarassment

KARKAT: WHAT’D THAT IDIOT DO?

JADE: oh, do you know him?

She pours the water into the espresso machine and starts it, putting a cup underneath. While she waits, she begins to steam the milk.

KARKAT: UNFORTUNATELY, YEAH.

KARKAT: HE’S A FRIEND FROM HIGH SCHOOL.

JADE: oh nice!!

JADE: well i think he was trying to be cool or something

JADE: he tried to say [bad dave impression] hey lovely lady

JADE: but he called me love instead

JADE: it was kind of sad

KARKAT: WHAT A FUCKING LOSER. I CANT BELIEVE I WAS EVER INTO HIM.

JADE: wait, really?

JADE: i cant picture you with him

JADE: he doesnt seem like your type

KARKAT: AND HE ISN’T.

KARKAT: I WOULD NEVER DATE SOMEONE SO LAME.

Jade snorts derisively, and begins to pour the steamed milk over the four shots of espresso.

JADE: like youre that much cooler

JADE: just yesterday i watched you rant for about 20 minutes about spilling some milk on your shirt

JADE: youre just as lame!! admit it

KARKAT: OH FUCK YOU.

KARKAT: YOU ARENT COOL EITHER.

JADE: true, but at least i don’t go around pretending i am

KANAYA: Karkat Shes Right

KANAYA: You Would Be So Much Cooler If You Stopped Trying So Hard

KANAYA: Watching You Is A Little Pathetic

KARKAT: I HATE YOU ALL.

Jade just laughs and gives Karkat an affectionate whack on the back as she goes to set the now finished Latte of Death on the pick-up counter. He grumbles and steps on her toes as he moves past her to the register, serving the next undercaffeinated customer.

#davejade fic #davejade #mod harley #mod strider #sburban coffee

19 notes · View notes

0rphiichaze · 5 months

Note

im sorry i just actually raided your blog but you look cool so 👍 yeah

HELLO DAVEJADEDAILY MOD RAID MY BLOG ANYTIME

#Honored to see you here lolll I read the first installment to y’all’s sburban coffee series #I’m not rlly a davejader (points to all the johndave on my blog) BUT it is very cute and I get the appeal!!#keep doing gods work out there solider #✩ shnooks rambling !!

12 notes · View notes

yoistars · 9 months

Text

🐏 ┊ ༑ ࿐ྂ。 ☆ carrd. icon creds. writing blog

#（ꈍ ꈍ） – shut up addie !#♡ – faves !#꒰✿ˊᗜˋ ꒱ – adriancore !#꒰✿ˊᗜˋ ꒱ – laincore !#꒰✿ˊᗜˋ ꒱ – fencore !#꒰✿ˊᗜˋ ꒱ – orphiicore !#꒰✿ˊᗜˋ ꒱ – ciannacore !#✶ – reblogs !#♡ ᖭི(ˊᗜˋ*)ᖫྀ – art gallery !#(∩˃o˂∩)♡ – orphii's art !#(⸝⸝⸝╸▵╺⸝⸝⸝) – writing !#♡ – sburban coffee !#♡ ᖭི(ˊᗜˋ*)ᖫྀ – fen's art !

2 notes · View notes

greensungnostic · 4 years

Text

shit, lets be santa!!!

You've been busy at work, scurrying around to make gifts for people this season, when you're not busy being tender and affectionate or adventurous with your shipmates. You've got a good number of things made - some things are duplicated with slight variants for some of the alternates you know, some are uniquely crafted.

For @robottattooartist : You've made a tiny robotic unicorn, small enough to stand on a laptop without squishing it. It's all orange mane and white hide, semi-realistically crafted, that leaves a glimmering jpeggy holographic afterimage behind itself as it runs about. Its voice seems to be made from a cobbled together audio file of Dirk's own voice, made to say "neigh" or "snort" or "whinny" in one of twelve variants apiece. The horn is a tiny, sharp katana with an orange scabbard over it. The whole thing smells faintly of Orange Crush.

For @hotshithaxxorbitch , something in a similar vein - a full scale replica of one of their Minecraft cats, cubic construction and all, but in real life. More than a little ridiculous to look at, but no less affectionate and strange than any of their "real" Minecraft cats.

Following the theme, @cyb3rbvlly gets a replica of the ender dragon, but small enough to perch on the edge of a coffee mug. Its dragon breath is just a faint quickly dispersing fragrance.

@adorastupid gets, if he's around to check his transmaterializer, a fresh basket of fruits and veggies, and a packet of mixed seeds to grow some of your strange crossbreeds, complete with diagrams and instructions for care.

@artificialgrievand gets a nice little robotics tune-up kit and a broad sunhat that you just happen to think will look cute on her, with reinforced horn holes punched in already. Simple, but heartfelt.

@joeyjaidenharleyclaire gets, if she can provide coordinates for their dispatch, a bundle of earth snacks she might have missed - alchemized of course - along with a self-lacing pair of tapshoes (not unlike ones from Back to the Future) and a picture of yourself and June, her no longer secret siblings.

@8ayesian is a tough one to do things for, given her often prickly exterior, but all the same you've sent a fun looking cookbook and also crafted her a flashlight imbued with green sun light - refracted back towards usable hues - but no less able to cut through the Void of the strange dark spaces she ends up in.

@jadeyharls , aka Jade Nebula, gets a hat taken straight from one of the Pokemon games - albeit with earholes added - to commemorate your shared experience of becoming increasingly populous Trainers. You also include a little gizmo shaped like a flower to give her robotic hummingbird an upgrade when he sups from it, a Christmas card with a picture of you, Rose, Dovesprite, June, and all the dogs and pokés gathered around, with a booklet of Bec Visitation Vouchers clipped to the back should she ever want you to dispatch Bec to come say hi.

You've got a gift prepared for your moirail-alternate if she ever comes back, but for the time being it seems like there's only a combative and anti-holiday troll taking her place still. If @puppydogejade Pup ever does return, she'll have a sturdy metal replica of the transformation device of one of those hero shows she likes so much. It even makes sounds and holographic light displays.

For catmom, aka @gr33nspeak you've made a fancy little staff using a bit of carefully trimmed branchwood from the enormous oak on the edge of your ship, the one you've jokingly called The Yiffdrasil. Its size and age accelerated by Time manipulation from Dovesprite, the whole tree is enormous, and the staff you've crafted for her feels sturdy and ancient in its dense gnarled heft. You don't know if she uses staves, but it feels very druidic. You even include a pressed leaf and a picture of the tree itself, with June visible next to a root for scale. It's big.

@madgodsmistress gets a book on how to get rid of demons. You know the kinds of nonsense she gets up to, and you'd like her to be well armed to rid herself of them, if she must tamper at all. It comes wrapped up in a deepest black scarf, the twinkle of starlight visible if it's pulled up over her head.

@gunplaying gets a gift that's in a similar vein to one you've given him before, but this time outside of Minecraft. Treasures, trinkets, and tomes delved from the depths of a ruin on LoFaF, with a purposely flowery handwritten adventure journal as if you're a turn of the century explorer, as well as plenty of Polaroid pictures for kid grandpa to look at.

Aradia down in the belly of the ship, @ribbitingrams , gets a collection of cool skeletal remains of monsters and creatures from the Lands you've visited, because you know she always has a fondness for relics and bones.

For most other Roses you provide a new computerized headband with a semisolid hologram display and a box of chocolates because you are kind of predictable in adoring their Lalondean charms.

For other Egberts than your own, you have to dip into some timelines that haven't been meteor smashed yet, to track down autographed VHS or DVD copies of films like Deep Impact and Failure to Launch, because you know that even if some of them claim to have improved their taste in films, they'll still get a kick out of goofy stuff like this.

Daves and Doves etc, other than your own get two gifts - a joke one that's a "copy of your fire mixtape", purposely shitty tracks of you beatboxing over mellow bass guitar riffs for the sake of irony, and one of a jarred and preserved SBURBan monster, pickled rather than letting them burst into grist. That seems like a Strider style gift.

Any other Dirks you know - you can't think of any but you prepare a gift or two just in case - purposely goofy of course, because that's just the strider way. Reasonably nice drawing tablets with a stylus attached to a blunt katana to make it as hard to draw as possible, for the challenge and irony of it.

Other Roxys young and old get fun/ugly alchemized cat sweaters with a tiny voicebox that says "meow!" when squeezed, and a stash of helpful science tools for good measure. When you're not sure what to get someone exactly, you like to go with a surface level cute thing, and a practical gift to go with it.

Other fellow Jades get dog sweaters and samples of your botanical and technical works, an exchange of notes basically. What else would you get yourself if not cute dog things and stuff to pick apart and study?

Jane - both the one from your timeline, busy as she is - and any others who you may know - get the most scandalous gift of all; indie cookbooks from something other than Crockercorp, plus a spoon for their strifekind that also has a sleuthing magnifying glass built in.

June gets a few dresses you help her alchemize, a few of those autographed copies of movies, and one of the jumpsuits Sigourney Weaver wore in Alien. That one really seems to get her hyped up.

Dovesprite's gift is a stack of records - some good, some just scratching-bait, for her turntables from some Earth's record store and a brush-like tool for preening her feathers easier.

Nannasprite gets a lot of hugs and affection and some new baking impedimentia, but she's more eager to dote on you and June than vice versa.

Grandpa of course gets the customary tin of biscuits and of his favourite tobacco, placed on the corner of his desk while you sneak in to give him a peck on the cheek in his study. You'll give him a rundown of all the recent happenings later when you're not on your mad gift run.

@tacittherapist gets perhaps the most gifts, because she's your primary partner. An attempt at knitting her a Squiddle - never the most skillful effort, but there's effort there all the same; a bouquet of flowers from your garden, their ends not snipped but carefully wormholed such that they don't expire nearly as fast, staying lush and vibrant for weeks into the new year; a bit of tasteful jewelry crafted from amber or jadeite in cute and slightly goth trappings; and coupons for massages and other little acts of tender service.

#long post #cw long post #solo writing #if i forgot you pls let me know!

10 notes · View notes

ciel-bell · 6 years

Text

Get to know me!

I was tagged by @murreal

(thank you for tagging me, I love doing these :0)

zodiac: Libra! (my birthday is october 8th)

height: I think I’m 5 foot 3 or 4?

languages you speak: I’m learning French and Japanese, but I’m only fluent in English.

nationality: American

favorite fruit: I’d have to say cherries. I also love tangerines and apples!

favorite scent: Pumpkin is really nice! Vanilla is also a favorite of mine.

favorite color: Red or pale pink!

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: Definitely tea. I also really like hot chocolate though.

favorite disney princess: Probably Mulan? I like most of them lol.

dream trip: France!

when was your blog created: I started using tumblr in like 2016, but I forgot my password and made this blog in 2018 I think.

last movie seen: The last movie I remember seeing was Incredibles 2! I really enjoyed it.

favorite candy: Maybe airheads? I’ll eat anything with sugar in it haha

favorite holiday: Halloween, because of the candy of course.

put your playlist on shuffle!

I have a lot of playlists and I choose which to listen to depending on how I feel, so I guess I’ll pick 1 or 2 from each.

At least 9 out of ten will be from anime or video games, haha.

song 1: Sburban Jungle from Homestuck (off to a good start lol)

song 2: Connect from Puella Magi Madoka Magica

song 3: Kamisama Hajimemashita opening 1

song 4: Rain from Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

song 5: Bon Voyage from One Piece

song 6: Jaehee’s Theme from Mystic Messenger

song 7: Death By Glamour from Undertale

song 8: Amalgam from Steven Universe

song 9: Ruins from Undertale

song 10: The Name of Life from Spirited Away

Tagging: @imstuckathome12 @violetfin-hskin @serenade-of-a-star @sebbyisland @rheiko

3 notes · View notes

stabil0 · 6 years

Note

Do all the songs #TreatYoSelf!

REY I KNOW THIS IS YOU and that’s okay, thank you :) I didn’t answer some of the questions though because I had no answers. Sorry this took so long it’s a lot of thinking lol

1. three songs that come up when you put your phone on shuffleLove Game by Lady Gaga, Crushcrushcrush by Paramore, Daylight by Coldplay

2. three last songs you listened toSign of the Times by Harry Styles, I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie, Dream by Priscilla Ahn (it was someone else’s playlist hah)

3. three songs you were recently obsessed withDying in LA by Panic! at the Disco, Crazy = Genius by Panic! at the Disco, I’m Coming out by Diana Ross

4. three songs that you know thanks to your parents70% of my classic rock knowledge (Another One Bites the Dust by Queen), any slightly less popular song by ABBA (SOS… at least I think it’s slightly less well known?), Christian pop (Grey by Barlow Girl)

5. three songs you wish you could forget (because listening to them hurts)I don’t actually wish I could forget any of these songs because I’m a masochist who likes to make myself hurt via music, but Sylvia by The Antlers, Pale Green Things by The Mountain Goats, and Old College Try by The Mountain Goats

6. three songs you wish you could erase from history (because they’re terrible)Thunder by Imagine Dragons, Blurred Lines by what’s his name, No by Meghan Trainor

7. three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually lovedI Choose You by Point of Grace, Golden Boy by The Mountain Goats, Shadow Moses by Bring Me the Horizon

8. three songs that remind you most of summer and vacationGiorno Dopo Giorno by Kelly Sweet, Polaroid by Imagine Dragons, Chandelier by Sia

9. three songs that get you in the Christmas MoodAll of them any of them! My favorites are probably Silent Night (esp when done by Selah), Carol of the Bells, and Good King Wenceslas (esp when done by Manheim Steamroller)

11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrackTrack 10 on the Spirit soundtrack called Run Free, Strawberries and Cigarretes by Troye Sivan from Love Simon, whatever the tree song is called from Melody Time

15. three songs you want to dance with your love toTis Autumn as done by the Airmen of Note, Little Wonders by Rob Thomas, whatever that “coffee shop” song is… oh it is called Coffee Shop and it’s by B.A.P

16. three favourite songs for sexI have never made a sex playlist. @smexayflyboii apparently likes old R+B which I don’t mind but it’s really funny sometimes. If I had to pick three songs…? Wonderland by Caravan Palace, Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene by Hozier, A Three-Legged Work Horse by This Will Destroy You

18. three songs that remind you of your best friendI have like 4 best friends but for the one I miss the most rn (you know who you are) is this percussion cover of Sburban Jungle, this meme remix, and All That’s Known from Spring Awakening

19. three songs that are your guilty pleasureMarjani by… whoever this is, Meltdown by Rin Kagamine, Teenage Dream by Katy Perry

20. three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one(assuming this is Rey lol and aside from the obvious one) Yellow by Coldplay, I was a Fool by Tegan and Sara, Big Girls Cry by Sia

21. three songs of your childhoodSend Me On My Way by Rusted Root, Yesu Azali Awa by Selah, There’s Gotta be More to Life by Stacie Orrico

22. three songs you listen to when you’re sadSince I’m the king of sad songs, you get six! Hide Me by Winterpills, Ride by Twenty One Pilots, Rain Awhile by Stabilo, Not in Nottingham covered by Mumford and Sons, Alpha in Tauris by The Mountain Goats, Medicine by Daughter

23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped upVictorious by Panic! at the Disco, 212 by Azalea Banks, Black Me Out by Against Me!

24. three favourite old songsIt’s Been a Long Long time by umm someone and Kitty Kallen, Asleep by The Smiths, Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard

26. three favourite non-English songsJupp von Jupiter Jones, Ich Lass Für Dich das Licht An von Revolverheld, Zeitlos von Artig

28. three best songs to get drunk or high toPsika by Dusty Kid (esp if you watch the video lol), Nine in the Afternoon by Panic! at the Disco, I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyes Peas (none of these are the best bc I don’t get drunk or high often but they’re good enough)

29. three songs that influenced you most (some songs change or save lives)Guns for Hands by Twenty One Pilots, This Year by The Mountain Goats, If It Was Up To Me by Stabilo

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)Next Life Already by Ball Park Music, We are all Compost in Training by Ramshackle Glory, West Virginia by The Front Bottoms

#ask meme #long post #this was so much fun to do what the heck

2 notes · View notes

rogueofpans · 6 years

Text

Part 1

Your name is Ambrose Strider and you just became a dad.

Yeah, still weird… but so is the weight in your right arm, quiet and heavy as you fumble with the keys to your apartment. You finally get the door open and kick it the rest of the way with your foot, lugging the carseat to the coffee table and resting your elbows on your knees as you stare down at the still infant sleeping within.

Babies were so weird looking. Too much blubber.

“Two days old huh? Pretty big feat little man. And look at this, your new home. Sorry it’s clean, it won’t stay that way for long.”

You lean back as the child stirs, opening and closing its mouth like a goddamn fish before settling again.

Leaning forward again you unbuckle the seat and lift the child into your arms before slouching back again.

“David then. So nice of the bitch to let me have a say in that, could have been worse though I suppose,” you say, “could have named you Gertrude or Bob or The-Last-Airbender-Movie or something equally hideous.”

David opens his eyes, finally looking at you through squinted lids before making slight cooing noises.

God you feel weird. This is weird.

You only learned about this kid a week ago and now look at you, you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and you feel like you’re talking to yourself. How do people talk to babies anyways? They can’t talk back and it’s just awkward. You’ve had a fair share of one man convos in the past, but this was just stupid.

But you couldn’t say know to those weird red eyes. Or to the crazy bitch threatening unspeakable things if you didn’t ‘fucking get your shit together and take care of this fucking child’ like you needed too. Of course her part was done, but you never expected her to stick around, even when you first met her.

You can’t regret it now. “She probably forgot your name already. Well fuck her, right? We’re gonna figure this shit out, you and me, at least we have the same level of knowledge on the subject.”

There’s a crib in the bedroom where you lay David down while you take a shower. A collection of bottles, diapers, clothes and wipes sit in a pile next to it and a pile of unopened toys that you picked up on the way home still sits in the backseat of your car. You had avoided the sburban moms giving you looks that ranged from pity to full out silent cooing and rushed home as fast as possible. You refused to by any parenting books, that was what the internet was for.

The shower brings deep thoughts as you reavaluate your life for the thousandth time this week and wonder what you’re going to do.

((AN: There will be more of these over time, just a collection of my own headcanons and snippets and shit. I’ll figure out a better tag for it eventually but for now it’ll be #hs call me bro au. feel free to send me a message if you have a suggestion, idea, questions or comments.))

#homestuck #homestuck bro #dave strider #hs call me bro au

6 notes · View notes

jojotier · 7 years

Text

JoJotier’s Inktober list

heyo! so i decided to try doing inktober with some of the aus and original ideas i wanna do! so here’s what im thinking:

1. Star Nymphs 2. Supernatural Retail AU aka “I Don’t Get Paid Nearly Enough For This Shit” 3. (Myth AU) The Artisan’s Hero of Time 4. (Myth AU) Caesar Descending From His Mountain To Shame Joseph Joestar 5. (Myth AU) Death and Death’s Consort 6. Ice Skating AU 7. A Sharp Dressed Thief (And his Emerald Tinted Glasses) 8. Steampunk Angels and Demons 9. Star Search Fantasy AU 10. Penny For Your Thoughts 11. Magical Bakery AU 12. Cursed Book Horror AU 13. “Bring It Back To White” (An OFF inspired AU) 14. The Boy in The Clockwork Tower 15. Fabricated World Horror AU 16. Plane Pacers (A Studio Ghibli inspired AU) 17. Cream and Snowflakes- a Fairy AU 18. Fuck Whatever Faust Had to Say About Making Deals With Gods From The Ends of the Cosmos 19. The Sea Witch and her Bombshell 20. Industrial Revolution Era Witch 21. The Forest Nymph and the Princess 22. Prospit + Derse Kingdomstuck 23. Abyssal Sirens 24. Modern Magic Coffee Shop AU 25. Dreamstate 26. Sburban Spectre Search 27. Accidental Villain AU 28. Mistborn 29. Bitter Magical Girl 30. Millie’s Home For Wayward Spirits 31. Free space!!! this is probably gonna be a healthy mix of fanart and some OCs, so I hope you enjoy!!

#inktober #shut up liv #i cant wait to see where i fail at this

1 note · View note

photochoco · 7 years

Text

got tagged by blairdiggory

Who would you take a bullet for? my friends, my family

🍩 O N E 🍩

name: Erika

nickname(S): Cuz dang song I got several. Photoshop, Photo, Potato (Chip), Potoo, Eri

zodiac sign: Scorpio!

height: 5′8″

orientation: Super i don’t really know right now

ethnicity: Caucasian/White

favorite fruit: Pineapple

favorite season: Man, I like how winter looks, but in terms of how I feel...Summer.

favorite book: I LOVE Harry Potter, but the Warriors series will always be my faaaav

favorite flower: Carnation

favorite scent: Yankee Candle’s Silver Birch and Bath and Bodywork’s stress lotion.

favorite animal: Literally any kind of cat, big or small

coffee, tea, or hot cocoa? Hot cocoa

average hours of sleep: 10-12 hours (blame the depression LOL)

cats or dogs? CATS

favorite fictional character: tttthhhthhpppppp uh

They’re literally all my friends’ OC’s I. Don’t make me talk about how much I love them I won’t shut up.

Instead I will tell you about N Harmonia and Hau from Pokemon, The Judge and Zacharie from OFF, literally everyone in Undertale,

dream trip: I’d love to go to Japan, but I also really wanna travel to Europe and see Prague.

when was your blog created?: January 2015

what do you post about? Art, pokemon, undertale on occasion, video games, art, art ,art

do you get asks on a regular basis?: Nope. I wish I got more art meme asks tho

aesthetic: Water in literally any form, waterfalls, caves, and canyons, (basically Oregon) snow, abandoned places, glittery things, soft things and places, whimsical places, pine forests, pen and ink

favorite band/artist?: Owl City, some Vocaloid, Sia

fictional character I’d date: …...um….N? Zacharie? DUDE I DON’T HECKIN KNOW-

hogwarts house: Gryffinpuff! I can’t decide between those two

🍪 T W O 🍪

Countries I’ve lived in: USA

Favourite fandom: Pokemon

Languages you speak: English

Favourite film of 2016: Moana

Last article you read: Oh man I have no idea

Shuffle your music library and put your first three songs here:

Winter Cleaning- DECO*27

Sburban Jungle- Homestuck

Ignition- Heinoustuck Vol. 1

Last thing you bought online: Tablet nibs

How would your friends describe you? Good listener?

How would your enemies describe you? I don’t really have enemies but a lot of people throughout my life have made it no secret they thought me annoying and weird.

#tag meme

1 note · View note

davejade-daily · 5 months

Text

3 - massive fail 2 electric boogaloo

---

As soon as he steps foot through the door, he is totally regretting his life’s decisions. Scanning the room, it is as he feared: The Girl is there, laughing with Karkat and, surprisingly, John. Dave does a double take. John and Karkat in the same room together? He’s surprised the place is still standing. Dave hopes that she - Jade, right? - has forgotten all about him and his massive uncool failure, but Karkat turns his head to see who’s at the door, and shit, the jig is up. It’s all over. He can pinpoint the exact moment Karkat realizes the power he has to turn around and ruin Dave’s life. He does not disappoint, nudging Jade and saying something barely audible to her. John perks up, looking over as well. Take a picture losers, it’ll last longer, Dave thinks sourly as John begins to wave.

JOHN: dave!!! it’s me, john!!

DAVE: wow really i hadnt noticed

He makes his way up to the counter, Rose in tow. He knows she’s watching all this go down with sharp amusement, feeling her beady little eyes on his back. John is sitting on the counter (to compensate for his shortness), and Karkat moves up to the register in front of them. Jade is nowhere to be seen.

KARKAT: HEY DAVE.

He gives Dave a shit-eating grin.

KARKAT: HAVE I INTRODUCED YOU TO MY FRIEND YET?

KARKAT: I THINK YOU’D REALLY LIKE HER.

KARKAT: YOU HAVEN’T MET BEFORE, RIGHT?

DAVE: no no i definitely havent she doesnt have a very memorable face no siree

DAVE: who is this person to have been deemed worthy of my acquaintance

DAVE: im a very busy guy karkat

DAVE: not a lot of time for trivial matters like consorting with coffee-making damsels

KARKAT: OH I’M SURE.

KARKAT: COME HERE, LOVE. OH SORRY, I MEAN LOVELY LADY.

The lady in question pokes her head out of the pantry, tilting it quizzically.

JADE: wait karkat are you talking to me

JADE: i mean uhh

JADE: yes?

KARKAT: I WANT YOU TO MEET SOMEONE.

KARKAT: THIS IS DAVE.

DAVE: sup

DAVE: nice to meet you

DAVE: definitely for the first time

JADE: uhhh yeah! likewise

Dave holds his hand out to shake, and Jade awkwardly slaps it like a high five. This is going great. Karkat looks ready to pass away from holding in hysterical laughter. In the background, John looks confused. This is not an unusual occurance, as John is often confused. It’s a fact of life at this point. Rose has ambled over to the display case and appears to be intently scrutinizing the goods.

DAVE: so uh

DAVE: john

DAVE: whatre you doing here

DAVE: are you a coffee connoisseur

DAVE: now are you fancy bitch or starbucks junkie

DAVE: i dont see you as either honestly but then again i didnt know you liked coffee at all

JOHN: no, i’m visiting my sister! jade.

JOHN: do you really not remember me ever talking about her?

JOHN: we’ve known eachother for what, 6 years?

JOHN: i even said something about it a couple days ago! i told you i would be busy because i would be helping her here.

DAVE: i have no recollection of this

DAVE: wheres the evidence egbert

KARKAT: I CALL BULLSHIT.

DAVE: surprise surprise

DAVE: im shocked

DAVE: flabbergasted even

DAVE: if i wasnt so young youd need to call life alert because i just had a heart attack

JADE: i know cpr!!

DAVE: impressive

DAVE: a woman of many talents

DAVE: i respect that

ROSE: So very feminist of you, Dave.

ROSE: Your progress is astounding.

JOHN: dave’s a feminist now?

JOHN: i think the lack of sun exposure on his eyes has somehow warped his brain.

DAVE: whats the problem guys theres nothing wrong with feminism

DAVE: i love feminism. i. love women?

KARKAT: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

ROSE: Did something change in the last few minutes that I wasn’t aware of?

KARKAT: I SEEM TO RECALL DIFFERENT THINGS.

JOHN: i like women too.

John nods in a very serious manner. Dave can’t tell whether he’s actually serious or doing it for the bit. He doesn’t think he wants to know the answer

DAVE: im glad

DAVE: women really need to be liked and treasured

DAVE: anyway

DAVE: can i get a uhh

DAVE: latte

Karkat resumes his place at the register and ringing him up. Jade turns and starts making the espresso, and Dave steps back to let Rose order. He finds himself a seat at the bar counter next to John, resting his arms on it and talking about nothing in particular. He’s only half paying attention, watching Jade work from the relative privacy his shades offer.

A short while later, a latte is pushed across the counter to him. The frothy milk jiggles a bit as it stops, and he observes the expertly poured heart shape in the foam. When he looks up, Jade has already moved on to the next customer, laughing over her shoulder at something he can’t see.

---

hey there quick authors note ig

thank you (especially you!! you know who you are. you can absolutely be crowned our number one fan) for the support on our silly little self-indulgent writing

#dave strider #jade harley #davejade #sburban coffee #davejade fic #mod strider #mod harley

8 notes · View notes

davejade-daily · 5 months

Text

the other siblings that dont have a smooth name blend

half siblings

and they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates)

JADE

astrophysics major, studying botany on the side

coworkers with karkat

mother to many, many plants

seriously. so many plants

JOHN

waiter at olive garden, computer science major

best friends with roxy

took one (1) theater class and encountered a wild vriska

now hes one of them

#au tag #sburban coffee #jade harley #john egbert #mod harley #mod strider

8 notes · View notes

davejade-daily · 4 months

Text

we return from sudden hiatus. please take this as an offering

sburban coffee pt 4

Jade hums quietly to herself as she fiddles with the lock. It’s a stupid lock. You have to jiggle the key in a certain way, while also holding the handle down and pushing against the door. Not great when you’ve got full hands. She has kicked this door many a time in frustration, and said some Karkat-worthy things to it. This door is her worst enemy. Click. Finally. The door whines on old hinges as she pushes it open slowly, stepping into the apartment. John must not be home yet, she notes.

She flips on the lights, illuminating the rather cramped but cozy room, and steps out of the doorway, carefully checking the surrounding area for pranks of any sort. You can never be too careful when living with John. She tosses her bag onto the couch (green, soft, had only cost them $300, and her favourite thing in the world). The room is kind of a mess, but that’s to be expected with how busy she is, and two boys living there with her. Granted, Jake is kind of a part-time tenant, but his presence in the apartment is... noticable, to say the least. Jade doesn’t mind cleaning, but these days she never has the time for it, and can only guiltily watch the mess grow. She steps into the kitchen, pointedly ignoring the dirty dishes beginning to slowly accumulate and contemplates the refridgerator. The options aren’t much, but, regardless, she grabs some old pizza, settling at the little bar-counter that takes up part of the wall to finish up some classwork.

A while later, she hears the door click open, and a crash that is probably John tripping over all the shoes at the door again. She leans back in her seat, glancing down the hall.

JADE: john. are you good?

JOHN: yes jade, i am perfectly fine.

JOHN: who put all these shoes here!!

JADE: you did. theyre all your shoes, john

JOHN: i really don’t think they’re all mine.

JOHN: how can they all be mine?!

JOHN: this one isn’t even my size! it looks more like yours.

JOHN: these are your stinky dog converse, jade.

Jade hears a thump, presumably John kicking the shoes aside.

JADE: i move mine out of the walkway!! like a normal person!!!

JADE: besides, im not the one who nearly died on them

JADE: operator error

JOHN: operator of what. am i commander shoe shoe now?

JADE: operator of your legs

JOHN: at least i’m not that guy. you know?

JOHN: vriska’s... friend?

JOHN: the one who lost his legs in a terrible, terrible chainsaw related accident.

JOHN: jade, be respectful of him. at least i have legs.

She can hear him coming down the hall on his aforementioned legs, and a moment later, he’s poking his head into the doorway of her room. Jade herself is attempting to write a hefty paper for her chemistry class. The work is fine – fun, even – but the pages and pages of words she needs to somehow summon from the depths of her brain? She could do without those.

JADE: hey!! how was your day?

JOHN: long. very long. longer than one of dave’s rambles.

JADE: sounds pretty long indeed!!

John flops down on the floor next to her bed, letting out the longest sigh Jade has ever heard. She bonks the side of his head with her foot, and he shoves it away, turning to face her and resting his head on his arms on her bed.

JOHN: some lady pinched my cheeks. she said i looked like her grandson.

JOHN: it took like 5 minutes to get her to leave me alone. it was terrible!

JADE: awwww but you do have such pinchable cheeks!!

She leans forward and squishes his face, giggling as he makes a disgruntled face that really only looks silly. John makes a loud noise in complaint.

JADE: DID YOU JUST LICK ME!!!

JOHN: maybe.

JADE: im never giving you another free drink again!!!!

JADE: youll have to pay. like a SUCKER!!

JADE: a CHUMP, EVEN!!!!!!

JADE: ill have karkat make fun of you the whole time too

JOHN: you wouldn’t!!

Jade just shoves John’s head away, resulting in a oomph from the latter.

JADE: actually, yes i would!!! and i WILL

John makes a face at her again, which she ignores.

JADE: oh! by the way, i forgot to ask but do you know if jake is coming in tonight?

JOHN: i think so.

JADE: i hope he gets here okay. i heard it was going to rain

Jade glances out the small window beside her bed. The city lights shine back at her, illuminating the many buildings and cramped streets. She’s always loved the view, having spent many a night just staring out the window, watching the cars on the streets and the few faint stars visible in the city travel across the sky. That very same sky is now full of ominous clouds, and rain does seem imminent.

She hopes Jake will be there in time for the party. The last time she’d talked to him, he’d mentioned that he hadn’t been sure if he’d make it.

They’ve just said their goodnights and gone off to their seperate rooms when the front door slams open. A tired but cheerful British voice rings out.

JAKE: Oi, is anybody home? Its pouring bloody buckets out there. I could fill a tub with how much water i seem to have absorbed!

There’s two loud thumps as Jake apparently tosses his shoes - into a wall? It’s dark. Maybe he misssed? There’s more kerfuffling as Jake manages to make more noise than a blind dog in an item-filled room.

Jade groans and slides out of bed, grabbing her glasses and stuffing her feet into her fluffy slippers.

JOHN: shut it jake, i’m trying to sleeeeep.

Jade stumbles over to her door, opening it and rubbing at her eyes as she walks down the hall, glasses-less and adjusting to all the lights Jake has somehow turned on within thirty seconds of stepping in the door. She puts her glasses on as she steps into the kitchen, her cousin coming into sharp focus. He gives her a goofy wave, smiling warmly.

JAKE: Jade!!

JADE: jake!!!!

They hug. Jake is wet and smells like manly british man smells. Jade pulls away after a second, slightly damp and makes a face in Jake’s general direction. She then notices a faint trail of wet footprints and internally sighs.

JADE: i thought you said you weren’t going to make it?

JAKE: I wasnt! But then some things happened and it started raining there too so i got off work early and was able to get a flight in just the nick of time!

JADE: thats awesome!!

JADE: do you uh, want to dry off?

JADE: youre dripping on my kitchen floor :(

JAKE: Oh! Uh. Right.

Jake shakes his head like a wet dog, spraying water everywhere. Jade yelps, as it was the last thing she could have possibly expected him to do. Well. Okay. She’s known Jake for almost her whole life; this is actually pretty in character for him.

JADE: jake!!!!!

Jake laughs and gives her a cheeky wink. She gives him her best glare, but after a few seconds, breaks down into giggles.

JOHN: what is going on.

JOHN: can’t a man sleep around here?

JOHN: hi jake, nice to see you at ass o’clock.

JAKE: Howdy to you too john!

He slaps John so hard on the back that there is an audible THWAP. Jake grins. Jade sighs, longsuffering and fondly.

JOHN: OW.

JOHN: as you would say, boy shitting howdy!!

JAKE: Nothing like a hearty slap to get the blood moving huh?

JADE: okay guys i think jake should take a shower and dry off

JADE: its great to see you!! but im really tired

JADE: if youre hungry theres food in the fridge

JOHN: how am i supposed to sleep after that strong manly slap?

JADE: just try john, im sure you can

JAKE: Roger that, miss!

JADE: jake

JAKE: Jade.

They make eye contact and stare at each other for a moment before going their seperate ways. John is making loud grumbling noises as he disappears into his room, with the occassional OW MY BACK. Jade is mostly sure he’s joking.

JADE: goodnight!!

#mod harley #mod strider #jade harley #john egbert #jake english #sburban coffee #au tag

4 notes · View notes

davejade-daily · 3 months

Text

sburban coffee 5!

---

JADE: happy holidays!

She calls this out as a customer leaves the cafe, peppermint mocha in hand. She fixes her shiny party hat, desperately trying to get it to sit somewhat straight. Unfortunately, it is a losing battle. Behind her, from the counter, John laughs and knocks it crooked again. In retaliation, she hits him with the counter rag.

JOHN: ew jade it’s wet!!!!!

JADE: shouldve thought about that before you committed hat crimes

JADE: if you arent doing anything helpful start stuffing invitations for me

She pushes a small bin full of paper and miscellaneous items over to him, which he starts digging through with a melodramatic sigh. She chooses to ignore it.

JOHN: who are we inviting?

JADE: uhhhhhh

JADE: karkat of course!

JADE: he hates over-the-top stuff and i want to watch him squirm

JADE: dave and rose

JADE: kanaya if shes not busy

JOHN: probably vriska too. she will 100% come after me if i don’t.

JOHN: i guarantee that i’ll get a text that says “John, why am I not inv8ted to your party???????? I thought we were friends.”

JOHN: and then she’ll show up anyway!

JOHN: because it’s vriska.

JADE: well see

JADE: roxy dirk jake. jane too!

JADE: itll be fun john!!!

JOHN: jade, the last time we had a party karkat set something on fire.

JADE: hush we dont talk about that

John holds up an invitation for her to inspect. Jade takes it and pretends to inspect the packaging, giving little hmmms every now and then. John feigns apprehension, watching her closely.

JADE: looks good!!!

JADE: just write their names on the outside and lick it shut

He makes a face, but proceeds, making an overdramatic noise of disgust as he licks the envelope.

JOHN: who’s this one for?

JADE: dave

JADE: i want to do karkats

JADE: i have something special planned for his :D

JOHN: whatever shenanigans you’ve got in store for him, i approve.

JOHN: as long as i don’t get caught in the crossfire.

JADE: yeah yeah sure

She waves away his comment, knowing she probably won’t make good on that promise. She’s learned to never pass up a chance to prank John. You never know when you’ll get another opportunity.

The door chimes. Jake and Roxy amble in, along with a big burst of cold air.

JAKE: Hey guys!

ROXY: whats up

JAKE: I am so chuffed about that new years party!

JOHN: uh yeah, me too. totally chuffed!

JOHN: whatever that means?

JAKE: You know, chuffed!

John rolls his eyes. Jake and Roxy take a seat at a table, turning their chairs to face the counter with a quiet thump. Jade continues wiping down the counters.

JADE: alright so

JADE: i need you boys to help me get the apartment ready

JADE: roxy, if you want to help thatd be appreciated but not expected of you!

JAKE: Yes ma’am.

ROXY: u got it!!

John makes a face at her at the prospect of having to go on a cleaning and organizing spree. Jade ignores it.

JADE: jake, can you help me clean?

JAKE: Aye aye, captain.

JADE: john you can start setting up the decorations

JOHN: yay!

JADE: dont get too excited, theres a lot

JOHN: oh. :(

ROXY: dw ill help you john

JOHN: thank you roxy! i knew someone around here appreciated me. nudge nudge, jade.

Jade rolls her eyes and puts the cleaning supplies away. She begins locking up as the other three go to stand by the door. They exit the cafe, met by the sharp December chill. Immediately, wind stings Jade’s face, and she hurriedly sticks her hands in her pockets.

After about ten minutes of walking in near silence, they’re in the lobby of their apartment building. John gets the honor of pressing the button to call the elevator down, and it is a rather quiet thirty seconds as it makes its way to the ground floor. It’s not usually this quiet for them, but Jade supposes that everyone’s got something or other on their minds. The elevator dings, they step in and John once again presses the button for the fourth floor. When they were younger they used to fight about it, but now Jade just lets him do it. It’s for enrichment purposes, she figures.

ROXY: so guys how many people are you inviting

JADE: uhhh

JADE: karkat dave rose…

JADE: plus whoever else they want to bring

JOHN: vriska :/

JADE: so about 6 other people!

JAKE: Quite the shebang, then.

JADE: hopefully, yeah! i think its going to be really fun :D

JAKE: Well, if we want to finish doing everything by tomorrow night, wed better get cracking. Onwards!

The elevator dings and releases them onto the fourth floor. Jake has such enthusiasm in his step that he could almost be skipping if he really tried. If Jade had known that all it took was the prospect of a “shebang” to get him this psyched about cleaning, she would’ve been using it to her advantage long ago. Jade pulls out her keys with a jingle and searches through them for a moment, singling out the one for the apartment and slotting it into the lock with a click and a twist. Pushing the door open, she lets the others in and kicks her shoes off after them. John has led the others into the kitchen, where they’re all standing rather awkwardly.

JADE: lemme grab the decorations

Jake gives her a mock salute as she passes, and she ducks into the closet in the hall, grabbing the box of decorations she’s been slowly building up over time. It’s an awkward, hefty box, and she lets out an oomph as she picks it up and carries it into the kitchen, setting it down with a heavy thud on the counter. John makes a face and beckons Roxy over. They each pick up one end and lug it out of the kitchen.

JADE: cmon jake lets get cleaning

JAKE: Ready whenever you are!

#sburban coffee #au tag #davejade #davejade fic #mod harley #mod strider

2 notes · View notes

davejade-daily · 5 months

Text

second installment that was written in like 10 minutes

---

ROSE: I think we should discuss what happened back there. DAVE: discuss what DAVE: nothing happened ROSE: Mhm. Interesting. DAVE: dont even DAVE: theres nothing interesting youre being ridiculous DAVE: even more ridiculous than your attempt to look off into the distance mysteriously DAVE: that girl probably thought you were high more than she thought you were swoon-worthy ROSE: And I do believe most innocent coffee drinkers thought you were a madman for being so distraught over nothing.

Dave chooses not to respond to this, knowing Rose will try (will definitely) drag it out into a Whole Thing. He taps out a rhythm on the steering wheel as they wait at a red light. A guy dressed like a clown walks across the crosswalk at a leisurely pace. The world certainly isn’t making any more sense. It takes him a moment to realize that Rose is still talking.

ROSE: Besides, you didn’t even fulfill your duties as a proper wingman. You were too busy having an internal mental breakdown that you refuse to talk about. DAVE: youre still on about that typing girl huh DAVE: oh how lucky she must be DAVE: everyone wants to have a weird ass girl pining after them like a lost duckling DAVE: talk about romance of the century DAVE: romeo and juliet who DAVE: more like rosemeo and random girl-liet DAVE: when is it coming to theaters ROSE: You’re avoiding the question again, Dave. Your tangents aren’t going to deter me. DAVE: what am i going to do as your wingman DAVE: talk to her for you? DAVE: are we awkward middle schoolers at their first dance DAVE: giggling and whispering about people were too scared to ever approach DAVE: better stop standing in the dark gym corner the chaperones are going to think were about to commit a crime ROSE: I am certainly capable of talking to her myself. I figured I would extend the invitation of returning there to you as well, but it appears you’re too afraid to accept it. DAVE: now hold on DAVE: i didnt say that ROSE: No, but it was implied. DAVE: implied my ass DAVE: youre reading into it ROSE: It’s very light reading. DAVE: why would i be afraid DAVE: its a building DAVE: with a lot of plants ROSE: Then you should have no problem with returning, say, tomorrow?

Dave says nothing, debating his options. He could give her the satisfaction of potentially watching him fail again (unlikely. He’s far too cool for that to happen. Just. So smooth), or he could chicken out and let her hold it over his head forever. She’d need a stepladder, but she would find a way to make it happen.

He can feel her expectant look from the passenger’s side, the particular tilt of her head visible in his peripheral vision. He also knows the Eyebrows are making a reappearance.

DAVE: fine DAVE: but youre paying

He hopes he won’t regret this.

#davejade #sburban coffee #mod strider #it was proofread one (1) time so if there are mistakes i apologize #im dead tired as well #musicals are no joke #davejade fic

6 notes · View notes