#dick thinks it’s hilarious

[undertheredhood]

pre-death jason anytime bruce is being annoying: the way you’re currently behaving is the reason why nightwing left you

#dc comics #dc universe #dcu #batman #bruce wayne #bruce thomas wayne #red hood #jason todd #jason peter todd #jason was never the angry robin #jason at anytime: is this what dickie had to deal with back when he was robin? it's a wonder he stayed as long as he did! #he'll even do it after becoming the red hood #jason as red hood: you do realize that micromanaging your children is the reason why nightwing almost went no-contact with you? #dick thinks it’s hilarious #yeah jason was a sweetheart as a kid but he knows how to shatter someone’s self-esteem with a few words #bruce is in shock the first time jason said that to him #jason todd headcanon

[redsray]

The batkids getting in trouble with the JL somehow when undercover or when using aliases and instead of... you know... the aliases... they give their siblings first names. Batman has gotten multiple calls from the JL where they'd be like

Green Lantern: Uh Bats we've got a 'Jason' in custody here he's asking for you.

Batman, panicking bc wtf did Jay do this time:

Tim: Hi!

Batman: You're not Jason.

Tim, dead serious: I don't know what you're talking about.

#batfam #justice league #tim drake #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #i just think its hilarious #steph: my name is Dick #jl: uh huh

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

Tim & Damian: *do the siblings bounding aka fights with their feet while minding their own business*

Bruce, randomly entering the room: Did you two do the thing I told you to do?

Tim, having no idea what they needed to do: pff, obviously.

Damian, also having no idea what they needed to do: we wouldn't let you down, father.

Bruce: good.

Bruce: *stands like a dad in complete silence for a while and then leaves them panicking about the task they forgot about*

Literally in the next room.

Dick, hanging from the chandelier: why don't you ever clarify their task?

Jason, suspiciously peacefully reading in the corner: yeah, just remind them what they need to do.

Bruce, with his fucked up sense of humour: Oh, they didn't have any task, I'm just messing with them.

Dick, having flashbacks of how he and Jason were losing their shit every single time, trying to remember what they need to do: that's... Pure evil...

Jason, remembering that one time he almost cried because he thought he was a failure and Bruce was going to disown him: YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

#Bruce thinks he is hilarious #the children do NOT agree #Alfred scoffed tho #batman #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #batdad

[gumdefense]

We have moved past Maya and Franziska wingmanning narumitsu as a society. They would not fucking do that. We need to realise the truth which is that Larry and Gumshoe would try to wingman them and only succeed through failure

#ace attorney #narumitsu #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #maya fey #franziska von karma #dick gumshoe #larry butz #general my post tag #i do think maya would endlessly tease poor phoenix about it based on how she acted in 3-5 about iris #but she didn’t do anything to set them up she just made fun of phoenix #franziska would sooner choose death and run to another country herself than get anywhere near whatever’s going on between the two #larry however. #larry would be way too invested #once he actually realises his best friends are into each other he would never drop it #gumshoe wants to make edgeworth happy any way possible #and based on the “wright wright wright” scene #and that one moment in the anime where he cries bc the two were working together even countries apart during the train bomb case #i think he’d be very invested too #also a Larry and Gumshoe wingman duo would be absolutely disastrous. and hilarious #do you see my vision

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

Nothing funnier to me than dick going to therapy for like 3 months before going to Bruce and being like

“I don’t wanna be Batman”

And Bruce kinda just looks at him like “….okaaayy?? I didn’t want you to be Batman”

So dick has to go to therapy for ANOTHER three months so he can ask Bruce about That only for Bruce to be like, “who in their right mind would pick Batman over Nightwing??? When given the choice a world without Nightwing would be a nightmare”

And then dick goes home and cries because his dad is proud of him

#dick post 6 months of therapy ‘holy shit I think Bruce loves me like a son or smthing?!?!’ #like hilarious a lil fluffy and Bruce can still be just as emotionally incompetent as ever #batfamily #batman #bruce wayne #batfam #dick Grayson #Nightwing #their family is so stupid I love them

[the-witchhunter]

DP x DC: Wait... this isn’t a gay bar??

I was just thinking about Danny as a bartender at a rogues bar and then it struck me...

Danny thinks he works at a gay bar

Why? Well, have you looked at the clients? Bisexual queen Harley Quinn, lesbian icon Poison Ivy, Two Face is clearly bi(two)sexual and has a thing with Bruce Wayne, Scarecrow is probably ace or maybe aro, Riddler is at the very least homo romantic, hell, even if Red hood comes by he’s bi/pan AND poly

What I’m saying is, based off the clientele, Danny would think he works at a gay bar 

and based on the evidence they have a hard time disagreeing with him

#dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #dp x dc #dp x dc crack #bartender danny #danny thinks he works in a gay bar #BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT #half the regular batman rogues are pretty fruity #and so are the Bats frankly #haha 'Fruit Bats' #Dick is probably bi but I like to imagine him as somehow the only straight person in the Batfamily because I find it hilarious

[qcomicsy]

Alfred comes home and there's a whole noise from the kitchen.

Alfred: Is everything okay?

Damian: Dumbass is coming out.

Alfred: Oh.

Alfred (to Dick): ...I figured this day would come sooner or later...

Dick:

Alfred: Don't think I didn't saw it my boy, and pardon me if I should said something before...

Dick: No, no, no it's not

Alfred:... I mean It was obvious from the start but I figured I shouldn't press-

Dick: Alfie It's not

Jason: No, no let him finish.

----

Batman: Yes, my kid also came out to me recently.

Superman (to Dick): Oh wow, that's great! I'm proud of you buddy.

Dick:

Dick: What

Tim: It's me.

Superman: Oh

Superman: Oh wow, thats great! I'm proud of you buddy.

Dick: No, wait you can't just-

----

Jon: I'm just glad in not being alone in this, you know.

Titans:

Dick: It's not me.

Titans: "Oh, right. Sure." " Yeah we knew it" "Totally"

#I've been thinking about this since Tim came out beaceus that was pretty much every reaction from everyone I know #And i find fucking hilarious #Tim had more in lore logic but Grayson just screams queer energy and there's no way people around him didn't caught up onto that #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #batfam #incorrect quotes #batfamily incorrect quotes #the funniest part is that if gotham knights is cannon he might actually be and this is just him being confused #on how people think he'll need to come out #but if he's not he's the talk Valentina of the family and we love him anyway

[spacedace]

Quick dp x dc prompt:

The BatFam finds out via getting tagged a million times on any and all social media sites that Damian apparently got drunkenly married to Jon & Elle while the three were in Las Vegas.

And that alone is making them all lose their collective minds, but somehow there's yet still more on top of that punch in the face because apparently the three didn't get married as Damian Wayne, Jon Kent and Elle Nightingale.

Oh no, that'd be way too easy to handle when it came to how the press and wider world reacted to the youngest son and until very recently one of the most eligible bachelors in the world getting married at three in the morning in a haunted-house themed 24-hour Vegas chapel by a guy dressed up like Zombie Elvis.

No, instead the three of them got married as civilian Damian Wayne and very much not civilians Superboy/Jon-El the Son of Superman and Nomad/Stella Phantom the Crown Princess of the Infinite Realms.

-

also bonus meme stuff, this is absolutely how Damian, Jon and Elle greet the paparazzi upon stumbling out of the chapel and the images being shared absolutely everywhere. Steph frames them and hangs them up as the three's "Wedding Photos" because she finds it absolutely hilarious:

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc writing prompt #super serious chaos #Super Serious Chaos #damian wayne #jon el kent #jon kent #dani phantom #danielle phantom #superfam #batfam #ghost king danny #batfam & superfam are losing their collective minds over this #meanwhile the rest of the justice league is playing rock paper scissors on who is gonna have to break the news to King Phantom #Danny for his part thinks its hilarious #but its even *funnier* to not tell anyone that and let them think he's pissed about it #Dick *specifically told* Damian not to get wasted and marry anyone when the three of them went on this trip #He said it as a *joke* but *still* what the hell Damian

[weewoow-20706030]

Bruce is the only member of the batfam that has no tolerance for spice. Dick grew up in a travelling circus, he has had food from all over the world. Jason grew up on the street, he ate what he could get. Tim's parents went all around the world, and had food and recipes from all around the world, whenever they were home Janet would make exotic meals. Damian grew up with Talia, he grew up on middle eastern food. But Bruce? He grew up on Alfred's British ass cooking, he thinks pepper has 'a little kick'.

#needless to say the kids find this hilarious #also. Dick would make spicy food for them all #Dick and Jason would have competitions for who can eat more spice #Dick won everytime #Some may say that Tim also has no spice tolerance... and they may be right... But I think its funnier if its just Bruce #I would add cass but idk her well enough #btw that pepper comment is something my dad has actually said #tim drake #batfam #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #damian wayne #batfamily #batbros #batgang #batboys #dcu #dc #should I add their hero names? #ehhhhh #why not #batman #nightwing #red hood #red robin #robin

[superherospinoff]

#dc edits #batman #Tim Drake #Damian al Ghul Wayne #Dick Grayson #Cassandra Cain #Jason Todd #batfamily #BatFam #bi tim drake #spins edits #batfam texts #ngl im proud of the group chat title #i think im hilarious

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 84

Amity Park absolutely adores her little ghostling, her little Gatekeeper who was of her own ectoplasm, reborn from her own blood in the center of her new heart. She absolutely adores her baby, practically a newborn, being only a year dead! 

So of course she had to gush and boast about her little phantom to the other city spirits! They all got together to gossip sometimes after all. And both Smallville and Fawcett started to gush about their own little ones back! 

Gosh they should set up a playdate at some point, her little phantom could use some friends in the mortal realm. Well some more friends, three is obviously not enough. Oh, Gotham and Bludhaven have come over as well! It’s a playdate then! 

Now if only each of their world’s timelines were synced up, but at least everyone is around the same age! 

#dcxdp #dpxdc #City Children Au #Prompts #Each city is from a different timeline lol #Bruce is an angy 16 year old vigilante and was Not prepared to be the oldest #Dick hasn't told them his birthday #and isn't revealing he's older than this Bruce by a few months #Clark is just happy to make friends and he brought pie! his ma and him made it! #Dick is wheezing at these itty bitty versions of Bruce and Clark- this is great and hilarious and oh god he has to protect them #Billy is chanting to do it whenever someone has a Bad Idea- He's just become the Champion of Magic & the gods encourage it #Danny is delighted to have more friends and he's not the oldest Or the youngest so yay! #they're having fun #lots of fun in all their timelines and in the realms too #if they get in trouble they call their city-parents #“Alfred says I'm a polite young man. He also says that if someone tries to grab me to use my teeth” #“Sounds about right” “Mood” “Biting is always good” “But what about diseases??” #“Hey Danny you like alien stuff right- do you think you can help me and the others translate this it came from the ship i was on” #“Omg Billy you should teach us mortal magic and we can teach you are stuff” #Dick: I don't wanna be the responsible one so I'm going to encourage them all to be Worse :) #At some point the squad is going to end up in some other timeline and confuse the fuck out of the JL lol #dick grayson #danny fenton #billy batson #clark kent #bruce wayne

[azulhood]

You know how all of Bruce's kids look like him? Well, what if Dani, who's just minding her own business, traveling the world, comes across the Waynes. Now Dani already views Bruce as a suspicious character due to the fact he's a billionaire, so she does some recon, just to check things out. And this is where things go a little sideways. Dani finds the family having breakfast, totally normal thing to do, most of them looked a lot alike but that could be because they're related. But then Damian makes an offhanded comment about being the blood son that the bats brush off, they were used to it, but Dani doesn't. In fact it makes all the pieces fit together. They were all clones (bar Damian) Dani hightails it back to Amity and tells Danny all about it, they of cause want to help/save the poor clones and so they bring Tucker, Sam, and Jazz into it. Now all of them are convinced that the Waynes are clones and they're research only serves to prove them right. Tim Drake having a family before adoption? Obviously, Bruce and the Drakes were close friends and when the Drakes couldn't have a kid he offered them a clone, which he adopted upon their deaths. Jason Todd on the streets before adoption? Obviously, he escaped Bruce's lab and tried to remain hidden, but he got caught. Dick Grayson being part of a circus? Obviously, he escaped like Jason did and got adopted by a nice couple before Bruce killed them and made it look like an accident. Cassandra Cain just popping up one day? They actually have no idea about that one. They also find the Batcave, they have no idea who batman is, they also do not get a good look at it, they think it's Bruce's evil secret basement. They try to take their concerns to Batman, once they find out he exists, he says they aren't clones. They now believe that Batman is in on it or is also a clone. With the Batkids this could go one of two ways. Either they think it's hilarious and play along. Or they try and convince the team that they aren't clones, they are not believed.

#dpxdc #danny phantom #dcxdp #danny fenton #batman #jazz fenton #dani phantom #clones #Dani: I've connected the dots! #I don't know about you all but I think this would be hilarious #cassandra cain #dick grayson #damian wayne #jason todd #tim drake

[sepia-stained-sunset]

Dick: Nobody ranks their family in their order of favourites

Tim: I do

Dick: What?

Tim: I have a tier system

Dick: What??

Tim: You, Cass, Steph, Duke, Damian, Helena, Babs, Alfred, Kate, Harper and Cullen are all in the first tier

Tim: Bruce is in the second

Tim: Jason didn't make the cut

#i just think tim being a little hater is hilarious #tim drake #dick grayson #batfam shenanigans #incorrect tim drake quotes

[headcanonthings]

Dick: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything? Jason: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies Steph: Socks are Feetie Heaties Damian: Forks are Stabby Grabbies Tim: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties Cass: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies Duke: Stamps are Lickie Stickies Bruce, sighing: You’re all disappointments

#bruce actually thinks all of these are hilarious #but he also knows what reaction his kids want from him #he's willing to pretend as long as they're all together #incorrect quotes #incorrect dcu quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #dcu #batfamily #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #stephanie brown #spoiler dc #damian wayne #robin #tim drake #red robin dc #cassandra cain #black bat #duke thomas #the signal dc #bruce wayne #batman

[extra-somethin-somethin]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head #ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it #like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like #kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all #and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo #and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like #now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week? #yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay #kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello #why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine #but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him #they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her) #i just think it'd be fun cos like #it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met #kurama and hiei #kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back #they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀 #it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan #yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc #and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺'' #''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing #it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next #cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe #okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept #kuwameshi #yu yu hakusho #kuwabara kazuma #yusuke urameshi #koenma

[hauntingblue]

So steph bought those aprons for cass and herself.... so they can kiss each other

#and yes after this a guy spying on dick assumes they are dating. so if steph would have wore it.... do you see what i am seeing #as in dick is not the owner of this apron so its weird hahah so funny but if steph is the one who bought them it becomes hilarious #queerbaiting is back on the menu baby #on my stephcass agenda #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #stephcass #talking tag #after this dick says he thinks they are cute. he is an ally. ally!