#deprivation mentality | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pulsingvoid · 11 months

Text

i'll literally never be convinced crystal/kristen was not a figment of misty's imagination, a friend she invented for herself that the others played along with because at least misty was occupied. i know she reads so fake to me just because she was poorly integrated into the rest of the wilderness plot (as in - not at all lol), she's a half-assed attempt at giving context to misty's anxious attachment style, which was almost immediately undermined anyway by her deciding to like walter. crystal/kristen never appears until misty is socially iced out for accidentally poisoning the soup and suddenly there's a second incredibly annoying theatre kid everyone wishes would go away? that dresses in misty's exact color palette? and they've been on the same team this whole time while misty was so ostracized and lonely? nobody even wanted to look for her when she "vanished"! the wilderness even magicked away her body so they'd have to hunt each other! crystal isn't even her name. i'm sorry, but she's about as real as akilah's mouse.

not being able to suspend my disbelief long enough to accept this subplot as real cheapened it a lot for me as it happened, but i have since decided her not being real could be plausibly-canon, and suddenly it's so compelling. misty invented herself the perfect friend that accepted everything about her and daydreamed little playdates and slumber parties, and even so, when she confessed to destroying the black box, her daydream turned on her. misty's own (quite vivid) imagination couldn't stretch enough to allow her a friend who accepted her wholly. she plays out what would happen if she told her closest friend this dark, fucked up secret, and it ends bloody. she convinces herself she'll never be fully accepted and loved, and ultimately it doesn't matter if crystal/kristen was real or not. i'm honestly fine with this theory never being confirmed (again, i don't think they intended it this way, crystal's place in the story was just criminally unearned and underwritten), but i'm much more compelled by a version of events where misty is so lonely and confused and guilt-ridden that her mind (or, if you'd like, the wilderness) gives her the kind of friend she was unlikely to find even under better conditions, and there's still betrayal and death at the end of it. misty's adolescent brain is already self-aware enough to know her hands will be bloodstained and unholdable for the rest of her life.

#having an imaginary friend that you end up killing on the shit cliff is just much more misty quigley to me than whatever s2 was #if it were ME i'd have used the sensory deprivation tank to hint at this but the writers were already mentally checked out by then #no hate on crystal and her actress she did great she was just never her own character to a degree so absurd #that even if shes real shes not real. like canonically. she vanished into the snow. shes a metaphor #misty quigley #yellowjackets #misty x crystal

570 notes · View notes

dwtdog · 14 days

Note

sapnap running to go show dream how he helped 😭❤️

'gotta go see if it's good enough 😊'

#cq.asks #the mental image of him running into dreams room and holding out the tiny little device for approval is so cuuutee #dream just looks at it (i'm imagining him looking sleep deprived as all hell)#and smiles and nods

132 notes · View notes

luvaaheee · 1 month

Text

Standard art dump for the sdp fans here

#sleep deprived podcast #music posting podcast #mikasacus #aztrosist #apandah #my art #been slow w art between moving and school and mental health shit yaknow

86 notes · View notes

percicosoftcore · 5 months

Text

andrew graves is my beloved sex symbol, walking red flag of a man who’s got a sister complex and i cherish him for it but, SINCE WE’RE APPRECIATING NEMLEI’S WORK CAN WE PLEASE TALK MORE ABOUT ‘BECAUSE LIFE WITH ME IS SO DIZZYING AND INTOXICATING’ YULE FROM NO GOOD NOELLE?

#he’s so sick. nemlei knows how to create the hottest most mentally ill goth/emo guys and if this isn’t a superpower…#the first screenshot make me jump out of my seat when on my first playthrough. HOW COME YOU JUST SAY SHIT LIKE THAT #no good noelle #nemlei #the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #i could talk more but actually i can’t! too sleep deprived!

161 notes · View notes

quins-makeshift-menagerie · 6 months

Text

Gentle reminder that my kofi link is in my pinned post. While The Other Q’s ER trip won’t financially destroy us it’s still going to be a big hit on top of having to get some major repairs done on the car before winter hits

#I #genuinely hate doing this #I wanted to open commissions instead #so people would at least get something in return that feels worth it #but i haven’t been mentally in the right spot to take those for months and this isn’t helping #at this point doing anything more than silly doodles to try and keep my spirits up feels exhausting #just gotta #hope things will be okay with Q and the car and everything else #sorry I’m just not doing so hot either #I’m still dealing with withdrawals from stopping my medication and now I’m getting a cold from sleep deprivation again #fun times #I’m so tired

209 notes · View notes

wutheringskies · 8 months

Text

something something wei ying only accepting his feelings for Lan Wangji when he feels they are returned, despite knowing deep down (very deep down) that he's had a crush on him that blossomed into something more since he was 15.

something something wei ying only talking about it being actually hard to he coreless to anyone years and years after only when a secret he died with was exposed and he couldn't hide anymore; and his response being to just put it all behind.

something something wei ying blatantly questioning why he was treated unfairly in Lotus pier when he was younger yet glossening over those memories in a cycle of "it wasn't that bad," and "it was sorta bad."

wei ying not responding to any of Jiang Cheng's remarks or anyone else's but going to look at his face in a river after slapping himself and only standing up when it's Lan Zhan getting slandered

wei ying being his usual sunshine self at burial mounds and later revealing that of course, he knew at that time, that it was all a matter of time

in cql and in the donghua we get the "I threw him into the burial mounds" but in MDZS? we don't.

something about how anytime there's a scene we feel would speak to wei wuxian, the narration switches to someone else, whether it be Jin Ling finding it weird that he didn't say a word in Iron Hook Extra while figuring out that the hero just wanted to scream; or instead of his thoughts about the servant matter, being shown Lan Sizhui's "Wei wuxian looked confident so it shouldn't affect him"

something about Wei Ying stating he doesn't care for people's opinions and he doesn't really but still listening to what they're saying and thinking if they're right or wrong and hiding his face from Lan Wangji

something about Wei Wuxian looking into Lan Wangji's eyes during the Koi Tower scene and thinking he looks disgusting

AHHHHH

#MXTX did such a great job to show how even characters who are mostly mentally stable #but go through such terrible stuff in their lives develop coping mechanisms too #someone play mirrorball #wei ying is gonna talk around his issued he's going to convince himself he will forget he wont even care he will boast #and then cringe because god why is he so pretentious #in reality he really loves affection #he was deprived for so long #honestly #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #mdzs #mo dao zu shi

240 notes · View notes

rainedroptalks · 28 days

Text

If there’s one thing Adaine and Kristen are probably great at, it’s casually saying the most batshit and concerning things from their childhood in random conversations

#ramblings #fantasy high #dimension 20 #adaine abernant #kristen applebees #kristen ‘yeah I was part of a cult and they’d use sleep deprivation tactics on me’ applebees #and adaine ‘my parents would actively punish me whenever I displayed signs of mental illness’ abernant #the girls of all time #they’ll say something and everyone will just get sorta quiet #and they won’t know what they did #Fabian’s got his own fair share of weird childhood stories but he knows better and stays quiet #cuz he does NOT want to have a session with Jawbone #ever #fun fact it’s 5am and I’ve been awake since 2 but I need this to be known

110 notes · View notes

ekat-fandom-blog · 6 months

Text

Danny's death/resurrection and Jason's resurrection happened at the same time, so the universe accidentally put them in the other's body. Jason needs to get a handle on the ghost powers, while Danny needs to a) stop being basically a zombie or b) not get brainwashed into becoming an assassin.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp prompt #remember jason was kinda wandering around gotham for a while before being picked up by talia #they probably still have their memories #but why would anyone not think that they're a trauma response #well danny might not have any mental wherewithal to think for a few days because of oxygen deprivation and reviving in the wrong body #but i think my point about their memories being brushed off as a trauma response still stands

134 notes · View notes

escapismblue · 6 months

Text

literally blame @neometalsilver for this but here’s how fucking unwell I am about Sonic being Tails’ parental unit.

context: this is using my own timeline of the games/headcanons so yeah. if shit doesn’t register as canon refer to that.

ANYWAY-

Sonic just found a kid when he was 11 while living in the woods and took him in because what was he supposed to do? he’s not a social person, he doesn’t know how to keep friends, but that’s a kid. a scared kid that needs someone to look after him. he doesn’t think he’ll do a great job, but he has to at least provide the kid food and safety. at least until he can figure out what’s best for the kid.

he’s lucky Tails is a genius and can already read and write because he can’t talk. he doesn’t want to. the sound reverberates in his head and makes him sick he can’t talk. Tails is okay with that though. he reads whatever Sonic hastily writes on paper and he learns sign language faster than Sonic had.

food’s already tight. it’s hard to scavenge and Sonic can only steal so much food without locking himself out of every town or village on the islands. he’s already malnourished as hell himself and now he has to find more food.

Sonic eats even less. he has to. Tails is 4, Sonic is 11. he can deal with less food. Tails is growing and even though Sonic can’t run as much because he’s so tired. his metabolism eats through whatever food he manages to eat for himself. his body hides it though. he looks fine and Tails is looking better and the kid is okay and that’s. enough.

Mighty and Ray meet up with Sonic again and Mighty sees Tails and He Knows. because that’s what he did. Sonic doesn’t know what to do when Mighty gives him a look that’s knowing because he doesn’t know what he’s doing and he sure as hell didn’t know he and Mighty were still friends because he doesn’t know what friendships even are.

Sonic doesn’t understand people. he never has. he doesn’t trust people all that much. he can work with people when necessary but that’s… that’s all. people are scary and cruel but god there’s this kid that’s looking up to Sonic and maybe. maybe he should try and believe the world is good because he wants things to be good for his kid.

his kid?

the kid. he’s taking care of Tails but he’s not…

he “borrows” books from the library to read them. to teach himself about the world he’s bared himself from. he reads all the lessons kids are taught. he learns how the world works and then teaches Tails and sure he could just give the kid the books because god the kid is smart but he needs Tails to believe that he is capable.

Sonic needs to prove to Tails that he is reliable. that he’s gonna be there and get them out of whatever they get into. or whatever Robotnik forces them into.

he will do what he has to.

but he’s so scared. he’s not used to people relying on him or being attached to him. he’s so scared of that attachment he wants to run he has to be alone, alone is safe but Tails is there and he’s sleeping and he’s cuddled up to Sonic and Sonic cannot and will not be like the cruel adults that exist just to make his life worse.

when Sonic 2 happens he’s so proud of how capable Tails is. he’s not that nervous, Tails is doing great. sure, he doesn’t love Tails being dragged into stuff like this but it’s okay. it’s okay because Sonic will always be there to take the hit if Tails doesn’t dodge in time. and that’s fine. he’s a kid and learning. he can be clumsy. Sonic’s sturdy anyway.

when they meet Knuckles, Sonic is glad that the echidna seems to take a liking to Tails as a sort of older brother figure and it reassures Sonic that Tails would still have someone. Knuckles is not like Sonic, he is not going to take care of Tails like he does, but he's a protective figure, Sonic doesn't have to worry as much if he needs to be alone. which god he does. his skin is itching.

he loves Tails but he is itching to run.

when they move away from the islands, Sonic is quick to make sure Tails has shelter. he forges whatever he has to so that everything can be in Tails' name. both house and workshop. all of it. they're Tails', not Sonic's. Sonic can't have a house. he's been living in the woods so long that living in a house is so scary to him. he can't.

not yet.

when Shadow dies, Sonic mourns. death is not a foreign concept to him, but Shadow's sacrifice strings. Tails falls ill not long after and Sonic takes care of him. Tails has a high fever and in his delirium calls Sonic dad.

dad.

Sonic is aware of his own mortality, he almost died when he was 8/9. Shadow's death doesn't make him realize he will die someday, but it along with that keyword makes Sonic realize that when he dies he will be orphaning a child. his death will affect other people. he's not just some kid in the woods anymore. Tails will mourn like he does when he does.

Tails will be alone again when Sonic dies.

it doesn't matter how many of Sonic's friends take on a role in Tails' life, Sonic will be abandoning the kid in death. the thing he promised himself he wouldn't do. but what can he do? he's going to die young. it's only a matter of time.

he weeps amongst the trees. he is helpless to do anything besides prepare the kid.

things go on as normal. more adventures, more fights, more injuries, more fussing. it’s as normal as it can be. and sure maybe in the back of Sonic’s head he’s constantly trying to prepare Tails for when his only parent is going to leave him, but it’s minor. it’s fine.

when Sonic finds Emerl on that beach he knows the feeling that fills his heart. he knows that he’s gone from one kid to two.

everything about raising Emerl is rushed and a little different, but Sonic’s never had a normal experience raising a kid. weird is his home base.

there are a couple moments that get Sonic’s anxiety pumping. when Eggman says he has both Emerl and Cream hostage Sonic can feel the fear fill his veins, but of course Emerl gets both himself and Cream out of the situation. that’s his kid.

and it warms Sonic’s heart when he sees Emerl and Tails interact. something about Emerl brings out the childlike qualities of Tails and it’s endearing and so so heartwarming.

but nothing stays good forever.

Sonic had a choice. the world or his child. it wasn’t fair. but he couldn’t let Emerl destroy the planet. if only because he couldn’t force Emerl to deal with that amount of guilt. that wouldn’t be something the robot could live with. he prayed that he would be lucky and that Emerl would survive but…

“This was Gerald's final program... Should a weapon go out of control, the weapon will terminate itself...”

stupid fucking Gerald programming a self-destruct into a being with thoughts and feelings. stupid fucking Eggman gloating as if he won. as if this was something this was something to celebrate. stupid fucking Robotniks. stupid fucking world.

he didn’t regret the burning hot rage that took his over. he didn’t regret regret breaking Eggman’s jaw. he didn’t regret letting the dark energy blind him. he was blinded by tears anyway.

and god, Tails sounded like such a kid when he asked if Emerl would come back if the world was peaceful and Sonic couldn’t crush a kid’s hopes. especially not his own. his only. Sonic could barely keep it together as he agreed with Tails.

he made Tails stay the night at Vanilla’s house, too heartbroken to comfort the kid. tomorrow. he would do it tomorrow. when he had time to grieve on his own first.

turns out grieving was fighting with Shadow until they were both crying. Shadow lost his last connection to the Ark and Sonic? Sonic lost just about the worst thing he could’ve.

it wasn’t fair.

Sonic didn’t mean to be so much more protective of Tails going forward, hell of any kid he interacted with, going forward he just… he could deal with a lot of things. he had been through hell and back. pain was something he had learned to accept as part of his life. hell, maybe part of him would be lost without it. but he couldn’t lose Tails. for god’s sake if he was doomed to an early grave why was it so damn hard to have his kids outlive him?

he noticed Tails starting to doubt himself and that’s the last thing he wanted, Tails was so much better than him in so many ways, but he couldn’t… he couldn’t get over his fears.

was having Tails alive more important than him having a good self-esteem? Sonic was so lost. he had no frame of reference. Sonic had never had parents. no one to look after him. to show him what to do or what not to do in raising his own. he wanted Tails alive but he didn’t want Tails to have a miserable life. how was Sonic supposed to show Tails that he was more than capable without risking the kid’s life?

he didn’t know.

he tried but everything kept getting worse and Sonic didn’t know what to do and-

6 months of torture gave him plenty of time to think. too much time, really.

Sonic thought about plenty of things. but his mind always went back to golden fur and blue eyes. was Tails okay? sure, Sonic ran away a lot to do his own things, but never this long. had anyone taken up on taking care of Tails? did Tails blame himself? he shouldn’t. he’s just a kid.

safe to say he was not happy when he heard that Tails was missing when he got back. he was already upset with his boyfriend, and now his kid was just alone in an active war zone. Sonic knew Shadow had probably watched the kid from a distance but that wasn’t enough. Tails was 12 for fuck’s sake!

Sonic kept up the smiles, of course he did, but it only reinforced that Tails would be alone when Sonic actually passed and that… maybe Sonic was more mad at himself than anyone else.

or maybe the cruel workings of Fate. but no… that couldn’t be it. Sonic had defied fate before. but…

he didn’t know what he was mad at anymore. it didn’t matter.

Tails was in his arms again and maybe, just maybe, Sonic would teach Shadow about parenting.

just in case.

#sonic the hedgehog #tails the fox #miles tails prower #wholesome sonic and tails wednesday #sort of not really #sonadow #shadow the hedgehog #sorry I'm mentally ill and sleep deprived #I’m working on charting the survey responses I prommy #there’s just a lot to work through and I’m unwell about these two #emerl the gizoid #I skipped over most of the later stuff in my timeline #I can do another post if people want it #correction *all the stuff later in the timeline #I was gonna go a bit longer but I felt this was a good ending

145 notes · View notes