#death and suicide

[silveragelovechild]

A few months ago I saw a photo of Zac Efron and I thought he looked awful. The normally good looking dude had a bloated face and his lips looked liked they were about to burst with too much filler.

Well, I’ve learned that photo must have been taken during the production of his new movie “The Iron Claw”. Efron must have been bulking up to play professional wrestler Kevin Von Erich.

The movie a “based on the true story” of the Von Erich brothers, wrestlers who are beset by one tragedy after another.

Efron plays Kevin Von Erich, the second born son. He’s good in this dramatic role and he’s a better actor than his Himbo resume suggests. But he hasn’t abandon fans of his Himbo persona - Efron often appears on screen shirtless, just wearing speedo style wrestling briefs.

But I didn’t think the movie was entirely successful. The movie recounts the various injuries, deaths, and suicides of Kevin Von Erich’s brothers. But they are often depicted off screen and in quick succession. As I watched, I thought it was sad, but I didn’t feel sad.

The film doesn’t delve too deeply into the cause of the tragedies. The most obvious culprit is what looks like the loveless environment the brothers were raised. Sure, the boys often talk about how much they love their parents and each other. But the parents come across as emotionless zombies.

Father Fritz (played by Holt McCallany from the series “Mindhunter”) ranks his sons by his “favorites”. He’s another one of those stage mothers who failed in achieving his own dream so he spends the rest of his life driving his sons to achieve it for him. His love comes with conditions that his sons can’t meet.

Mother Doris (played by Maura Tierney) is no better. Kevin asks his mom to intervene when he thinks the father is too hard on a younger brother Mike (played by Stanley Simons). Her answer is that the brothers need to work it out themselves (she’s too busy getting ready to go to church). Later she tells her sons that god loves them - but it’s substitute for real affection.

Another force behind the “curse” is depression that must run in the family. The brothers are told not to cry at a brother’s funeral. So they suppress their emotions, but the impact of the loss didn’t go away. Then when suicide is added to the mix, it plants the seed of possible escape for their unhappiness. (BTW, the movie doesn’t include the actual youngest brother Chris who also died by suicide).

As Kevin falls further down in order of his father’s “favorite” ranking, I kept wanting him to quit his career as a professional wrestler. I wanted him to take his wife and children as far away as possible from his emotionally stunted parents and away from professional wrestling. I think the artificiality of professional wrestling was a major contributor of the Von Erich curse, with its preordained outcomes, focus on brutality, and the condoning taking of steroids. But he didn’t. Three of Kevin’s children became professional wrestlers as well.

A couple additional notes:

Brother Kerry is played by Jeremy Allen White who stars in the TV series “The Bear”. I haven’t watched it (I don’t subscribe to Hulu) and I was curious what he was like as a performer. The jury is out…

Brother David is played by Harris Dickinson. I saw him in 2022’s “Triangle of Sadness” and did not recognize him. He was good but the curse got him too early in the film.

At some point an onscreen title mentions Kevin Von Erich is 6’2” tall. I had a silent chuckle because Efron is only 5’8”. Kerry Von Erich was also 6’2” but Jeremy Allen White is even shorter at 5’7”.

Harris Dickson and Stanley Simons, who play brothers David and Mike, are 6’2” and 6’1” respectively. This explains why Efron and White needed to sit on the fence for this publicity shot.

The real Von Erich brothers:

#the iron claw #review #zac efron #jeremy allen white #the bear #himbo #professional wrestling #Von Erich curse #death and suicide #short and tall

[liberalsarecool]

Republicans spread trauma.

#suicide prevention #mental health #opioid epidemic #death penalty #poverty

[bamsara]

goofies

#trod au #pre-final battle #the rehabilitation of death #narilamb #doodles #shitpost #tw blood #tw suicide implication (?)

[intersectionalpraxis]

A six year old wanted to be run over by a truck so he could be with his family, but he ended up dying from hypothermia... if that isn't one of the most heartbreaking statements to read I really don't know what else to say, because this is just a child. A six year old boy. The world has failed you. The world truly has failed the children of Gaza in so many ways.

#feminist #social justice #free palestine #palestine #free gaza #settler violence #settler colonialism #war on gaza #gaza news #gaza strip #gaza #gaza genocide #end the genocide #end the occupation #ceasefire now #ceasefire #tw child death #tw suicide #children of gaza

[tilley9999]

While life goes on around us

February 8th, 2023, is the day a dear friend of mine took his own life, and it is a day I will never forget. Those in his intimate circle knew about his struggles, but the rest of us were utterly shocked and gutted by the news. I have been spending the last two days selfishly wondering why I was so oblivious to his pain. My heart aches for his wife, his immediate family and friends, and the rest…

View On WordPress

#death and suicide

[paxopalotls]

My totally 100% canon interpretation of the portal accident

#danny phantom #danny fenton #danny phantom fanart #danny fenton fanart #tucker foley #sam manson #everlasting trio #they're my sillies #suicide joke tw #death joke #if there's any other cw's I should tag lmk #pax art #pax doodles

[kishdoodles]

Spring

'What if Renchanting duo were the last two left' AU (with a Jesus Christ Superstar coat of paint)

#happy good friday btw #art #mcyt #doodle #doodles #treebark #trafficshipping #3rd life smp #3lsmp #renchanting duo #inthelittlewood #rendog #i have a tagging system to keep by god if anyone sees this it's not my problem #itlw #tw implied suicide #tw death #tw blood #gagagate #technically

[toboldlymuppet]

broken but not destroyed

WHAT A DISAPPOINTING AND HEARTBREAKING FINALE? To have the man who was abused, mutilated, and disabled for protecting the crew, to have a suicide attempt survivor who crawled on the ground, to have someone who battled depression and alcoholism, to cement his role as the 'Ship's Unicorn" (the figurehead that protected the crew) only to reduce him as someone who "had to die" because he had no more narrative feeling, what a slap to the face. DJenkins said he didn't want to fall back into old tropes and burying your gays, but there's an elder disabled queer man you just buried for what, to absolve Ed of his abuse? Izzy died thinking he DESERVED the torture done upon him. What a disgrace. Izzy fans rallied and kickstarted a S3 renewal Campaign. And many of us are heartbroken and grieving for a show who promised kindness but only justified the abuse we've gotten the past months? We stayed and hoped better because of kindness and belonging. "This show is kind" has never rang more hollow. I'll still love and create art for him, but I don't think I can trust any other queer show again. I thought this would be different. Do you want a queer show full of kindness and found family, for all queers, the disabled and survivors and the rough around the edges ones? It's not Our Flag Means Death.

#izzy hands #israel hands #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #cw suicide mention #what a fucking disgrace of a show spouting about love and family #ofmd #our flag means death

[sermna]

They found her less than 5 miles from her house. Her hair was tangled with weeds and her fingernails were bent back with dirt; she'd been digging.

Digging even long after her body was drained of blood. Digging in frantic, sloppy movements. Digging to reach █████████ █████ ███████?

#something is wrong with odelia jones #swoj #suicide #death #self harm #my art

[seananmcguire]

I know I periodically ask people to look at Alice, but I would like to explain why.

That, above, is Alice when she was just ten days old. It was December 2008, and I had gone to Seattle to prepare to die. I was tired, I was dealing with a massive disruption in my social circle, and I was done. So I went to see friends, and to say my goodbyes before I went home and politely made my exit. I had a fully articulated plan, and no desire to tell people about it, which is not a good place to be.

Then we went to visit Betsy, who had recently ushered a litter of kittens into the world. And she put this little blue tabby potato in my hand and said "That's the girl."

And just like that, I decided to live. "Do you take checks?" I replied, and Alice entered my life.

(That makes it sound much easier than it was. Betsy was intending to keep Alice, who was without flaw by Maine Coon breed standards. Seriously, she was the kind of cat breeders work to produce for their entire careers. I spent two months wearing Betsy down before she agreed to let me have her.)

Alice was my first Maine Coon. Alice was my heart and soul somehow walking around outside of my body. She was without flaw. She was everything I wanted in this world, and she loved me as much as I loved her, and I would happily trade a year of my life for another hour with her in my arms.

In 2017, I went to Australia as a convention guest, and when I came home, Alice wasn't right. She was always food-motivated, and she was refusing to eat. I made a vet appointment immediately, and we started the necessary tests to find out what was wrong. Roughly a month later, while I was at another convention, my vet called me.

"I am so so sorry," she said, and the world ended.

Alice had large-cell feline lymphoma. It wasn't a surgically treatable cancer; we were going to have to go through chemo, and hope. So we did. And we did everything it was possible to do. Thanks to my Patreon, there was never a point where I had to decline treatment due to money, and I know what an incredible gift that was. Bit by bit, she faded, but she was still my Alice, and we were still fighting.

Then, on February 13th, 2018, I woke up and she was stretched out along my side from hip to knee, making the worst sound I have ever heard every time she took a breath. I didn't want to let her go. I could no longer make her stay. We left for the vet immediately, and my oncologist agreed that she was done; she was ready to go, and the last gift she gave me was staying by my side, not running and hiding like most cats would.

I held her. I sang "Beautiful Beast" for her. And she went ahead of me to the clearing at the end of the path, to the place she stopped me from going.

I miss her more than I knew I could miss anything in this world. She was my best friend and my favorite thing, and my mother told people I'd lost a child to explain why I would just wander around, dead-eyed and sobbing. Alice saved me when I didn't think it was possible, and I'm grateful; I have no such plans at this point.

But fuck my poor, broken heart, I just want her to come home. And in the absence of that as an option, I want everyone to look at Alice.

Please look at my poor girl.

#pet death #cat death #suicidal ideation #gnu alice #baby please come home #i don't care if you come back wrong #just come back #feline lymphoma

[zarathustra-would-be-proud]

#depressed #depression #suicide #suicidal #sad #alone #lonely #broken #death #bipolar #dead #sadness #broken heart #blood

[hiveswap]

Summary of The Cat of The Year poll atrocities of 2023/2024

I'm sure that most people on this side of tumblr have seen the Jellie vs. Nefarious Anglerfish poll going around with like 60k votes at this point, and I'd really like clear up some of what happened since I was around for the whole thing.

Url blocked out for op's privacy. They have already left but don't look for it if you haven't seen it/don't harrass them if you already have.

1. The previous round (preparation)

I discovered the poll in its previous round, needless to say she beat Jort's ass severely. This was around the 3rd of january, meaning that this round finished before jellie's passing with only about 7k votes. Op did add their own piece of propaganda from their main:

...which was FINE. (except for stuff we'll see later) Of course running a poll while biased isn't ideal but I for one didn't even know they were the op until much later. I also added my own piece in a separate thread, and they didn't interact with it at all. There was no drama.

2. The Finale

Jellie unfortunately passed away right before the starting of this poll, which was the catalyst for what happened next. Op did exactly as last time and added a slightly more mean spirited encouragement to vote for the other contestant. This is the point where I believe that i fucked up personally.

I added this thinkpiece accusing op of associating all mcyters with Dream (who we all hate for the record) despite them not alluding to him at all. This is because tumblr has a history of disimissing all mcyters as... everything that dream was been accused of. Op did allude to not caring for mcyt. but they didn't say what i accused them of. This is important to point out because this reblog of mine is still being spread. Jellie was in the lead at the time, but not by the time i woke up next morning.

I won't be including anyone else's additions because I don't want to put blame on any specific person. Just felt like clearing up mine.

3. The Fuckening

Some time later op made this post to their personal blog:

which is insanely shitty because, as other people have pointed out, the "lame ass youtube cat" didn't die to inconvinience op or ruin their fun, and people would have probably voted for her anyway because jelly is universally beloved in the mcyt community. This isn't anti democratic. This post was added to the poll with a caption saying op should not be running this poll, and it took off. Op later went on to say that this was a joke:

This apology was not taken well by people, (including me) because "you were not meant to see it" isn't an apology and they still very much made fun of someone's pet dying. Safe to say this did not make the drama stop and only added fuel to the flame. I believe this was the point where the conversation of mcyt fans being unjustly sent hate to was reignited.

We should discuss that! it's a real thing that happens often and is equal to childish bullying. However, in this case, OP was the only one getting sent hate to my knowledge. The notes were mostly saturated by mcyt fans, and even now i can only find one or two hateful stance towards us under the whole 20k notes post.

4. Conclusions

Op posted a second apology to the catoftheyear blog to try and calm people down (i believe this is comprehensive and a lot better than the previous one) The blog was deactivated shortly after, so i only have my phone screenshots of it that i also added to the poll itself at some point:

(Edit) Here's proof that op did not write the justification they got criticised for, from the notes of the original poll:

This apology didn't get seen, or get accepted by enough people, so op made this statement on their personal:

Needless to say I am deeply dissapointed (and guilty) that it's come to this. Yes, op said tasteless things that made us all angry, but telling a human being to commit suicide is worse than being insensitive about a stranger's pet dying. Even after I posted about the blog being decatived i had someone come into my notes to wish that "they never find happiness" i mean wtf. This isn't like shipping where we can do whatever without the content creator's input. this is fucking harrowing and i can't imagine how i'd feel if this was done in my/my pet's name especially after losing them as recently as a week ago.

I hope no one from hermitcraft who is on here (let alone scar holy shit) learns about this like they did with previous lighthearted tournaments. If you truly respect the creators you claim to be a fan of as people, you do not tell people to kill themselves over them. And finally, let Jellie fucking rest, guys. she had a long, good life. I hope op can come back and also avoids behaving like this if they ever wish to do so. I'm angrier at mcytblr, though.

#catoftheyear #jellie #tw animal death #tw suicide bait #hermitcraft #goodtimeswithscar #adding to main tags so people see this instead of the poll itself with no context on how it ended #If this breaches containment and gets used as a reason to hurt mcyt fans i am going zo eat whoever is doing that #catoftheyeartournament #jellie the cat

[businessboybrick]

Without spoiling anything, PLEASE be advised that the first three episodes have A LOT of suicide shit in them. Like not just ideation, full on behavior and attempts shown on screen. Huge warning if you have any kind of trigger for suicide

#ofmd #our flag means death #tw sui attempt #im glad out of all the posts I’m gonna make about this season this is the one that. got picked up #peeps need to know #tw suicide

[river-of-wine]

Death to Dutch van der Linde!

#red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #rdr #rdr2 #molly o'shea #death to dutch van der linde #I just know she was watching in such excitement #she waited twelve years to see that #I was going to redraw his corpse but I think it’s more funny if it’s just him #I cannot overstate how much I loved watching him fall #I was so excited I still can’t stop thinking about it #monologuing before suicide??? wonder who he got that idea from #fanart #digital art #my art

[notaplaceofhonour]

it’s october 7th. you hear about the attack by seeing people you followed glorifying the terrorist attack—a massacre, a pogrom—as victory & justified resistance, glorifying a terrorist group that was founded with the explicit intent to kill your entire people

you make a post in which you make it clear you support palestinians and oppose the ways israel has wronged them, explaining that the terrorist group is still not good. you know you will probably get some flacc from the pro-Hamas side, but naively underestimate how much.

you get thousands of notifications on that one post, the majority of them hateful comments.

some of the response is positive. multiple messages thank you for the post, expressing bafflement that it’s controversial.

a few Israelis are upset at the loaded language in your post, but explain their problems with it civilly. you called Israel “apartheid”. they ask you what apartheid laws Israel has. you admit you honestly don’t know.

your inbox is flooded with anonymous hate from anti-Israel leftists.

over the course of a few weeks you have received hundreds of death threats, a dozen rape threats. people accuse you of being pro-genocide. you’re a literal Nazi. you’re racist, you thirst for the blood of Palestinians. you’re brainwashed by propaganda, a shill for The Zionist Entity. a few of the hate messages are from literal Neo-Nazis; the overwhelming majority are from leftists, many of them queer.

you are considering suicide.

you see footage of the october 7th attacks. you see footage of the bombings in gaza. you see footage of a Jewish man being murdered at an anti-Israel rally.

a popular creator you follow posts in support of an antisemitic hate group that masquerades as a Jewish organization. this organization regularly posts blood libel and other antisemitic rhetoric, works with groups that are even more explicitly antisemitic, including celebrating October 7th, holocaust inversion, blood libel, “Khazar theory” and others. more than one of the orgs they work with is pro-Putin.

your former roommate liked the post.

graffiti appears on a street you frequent that says “#freepalestine” and “end settler colonialism”

the boyfriend of the friend you spent most of the summer with makes his first post about the war. it’s a reposted comic that mocks and downplays the october 7th attack.

you doubt he’ll be receptive to criticism. he’s shared leftist memes about “monied elites” pulling all the strings and evangelicals being modern day “pharisees” in the past, and getting him to understand why that was antisemitic was like herding cats. you try anyway.

another of his Jewish friends also pushes back. he smugly dismisses her, tells her she’s falling for Zionist propaganda and uses several antisemitic tropes. you go off on him. he just deletes your comment.

you give up. you’re done. you block him.

you see anti-Israel posters and billboards around town

you mention what happened with the guy you went off on to his girlfriend—the friend you’ve grown very close to, who you’ve been listening to as she unburdens her fears for the future and complains about her bf’s BS over the last year. she doesn’t respond to you.

a friend of a friend shares posts tokenizing fringe groups that spread blood libel and have collaborated with holocaust deniers. you know they don’t know what you know, so you explain what those groups are. they seem somewhat receptive, apologize, and take it down

the next day they share several more posts that dip into antisemitic tropes. you mention this to your mutual friend, that you’re worried about them being radicalized. you’re not sure how receptive they’ll be to continued criticism

you have a confrontation with the foaf. in the meantime they’ve shared even more antisemitic posts. they say they didn’t mean to cause you distress but instead of stopping they effectively block you.

the “end settler colonialism” vandalism has been counter-vandalized with the words “commie propaganda” in place of “settler colonialism”. you don’t know if this is an improvement.

a month passes. the friend whose bf you went off on still hasn’t spoken to you. you see she shared a post defending an SJP chapter that posted Nazi cartoon caricatures of Jews repurposed in “Anti-Zionist” memes. you unfriend her on all social media platforms but you can’t bring yourself to block her number.

you see a friend of someone whose couch you surfed when you were homeless harassing Jewish celebrities with “Free Palestine” comments. you block them.

you’ve lost count of how many people you’ve unfollowed or blocked, or who’ve blocked you. friends, content creators.

when a friend takes an unusually long time to respond you worry if it’s because of your posts about antisemitism.

most of the podcasts, youtube channels, and other content creators you regularly engaged with no longer feel safe. you wonder who will be next

a couple friends wish you a happy hanukkah. you don’t celebrate much aside from lighting the hanukkiah and making some latkes.

you see posts about a destroyed chabad menorah, antisemitic comments on Jewish celebrities’ Hanukkah posts.

your neighborhood is covered in pro-Palestine & anti-Israel posters. some are seemingly innocuous, some are JVP “not in our name” posters. some call for intifada. “globalize the intifada” “Zionists fuck off!” “solidarity means attack!”

a man kills himself shouting “free palestine”. you learn about his suicide by seeing posts from several popular accounts you followed glorifying it.

you follow a bunch of jewish accounts on social media and commiserate with them about everything happening

your jewish friends post screenshots of the dead man’s antisemitic, pro-Hamas views. you look at his reddit and find even more horrific shit: anti-Ukraine posts. mocking Zelensky. “elites” are “lizard people”; the only named individual he calls a lizard person is Jewish. you start to notice a pattern: a lot of the people he dislikes just so happen to be jews.

several people you know share a post glorifying this man’s suicide. most are acquaintances, one is someone incredibly important to you.

you wonder how they would respond to your suicide.

you tell the close friend that shared this post how it scares you. you show them the receipts of the man’s antisemitism. their response is a single sentence. they didn’t know about the antisemitism.

they don’t apologize.

you notice none of your irl friends, even your closest ones, interact with your posts about antisemitism. you are able to vent to a couple friends, but no one has reach out to you

you try not to read into it. you try not to take it personally.

you haven’t slept well in months. you’ve always been an insomniac but not like this. you’re not sleeping until 4am, 6am, even 9am. even when you get to bed at a decent hour and get a full night’s rest it takes you hours to get out of bed.

a few weeks go by. the friend with the single sentence response shares a post saying they’re excited and proud to join a group to help palestinians. you’re excited and proud for them.

a couple days later, they share a post about a fundraiser to help a palestinian family get out of gaza. you note to yourself this is a much more effective & less concerning form of activism than the pro-suicidal antisemite post.

your friend shares another post about the fundraiser. it’s a joint post between their group and another group.

you open the other group’s page

the page is just a wall of signs from rallies. you swipe through one after another: “from the river to the sea”, “by any means necessary”, justifying/denying the atrocities of october 7th, calling for violent revolution. anything done in the name of resistance can’t be terrorism, all Israelis are terrorists. Jews aren’t indigenous; they’re white colonizers. holocaust inversion. other vile, thinly veiled violent rhetoric

you feel sick to your stomach imagining talking to your friend about it.

you already feel like you’re burdening the few friends you can talk to about this. you already feel like you think about it too much, talk about it too much. but you can’t not think about it; it affects every aspect of your life.

you’ve filtered out relevant keywords on more than one social media site to avoid the worst of it. some still manages to leak through.

there isn’t a single friend you regularly interact with that you don’t fear the moment when they will switch from listening to your concerns to seeing you as the evil zionist or indoctrinated hasbaranik they’ve been warned about.

it’s not an irrational fear. it keeps happening. you knew it would then, and you were powerless to do anything about it before, and you continue to be as it happens again and again.

you don’t know what to do about any of it.

#idk just kinda wanted to document what this has been like all back to back #I know some of these on their own might come across as ​not that big of a deal but all together #they add up #tw for the all of it #cw trauma dump #antisemitism #i/p #tw suicide #tw suicidal ideation #tw death threats #tw rape threats #tw october 7th #tw terrorism

[the-meme-monarch]

hey. what if i got really normal about (my designs for) the fallen kids. i promise.

my prev drawings of them here :]

also scrapped doodles involving flowey bc I forgot flowey probably didn’t exist for a while until at least most of them were dead, what with alphys’ dt experiments. i just wanted kris and flowey to meet :( they grew up together in another universe

#the art gallery #undertale #undertale ocs #their items they died with are referenced from their heals in the omega flowey fight ! i thought a lot abt that :] #ive been pouring over these for abt a month so if there’s anything i Failed to elaborate on feel free to ask :] #child death mention #suicide mention #ask to tag