1stthingsfirst

[1stthingsfirst]

if i have permission to be a bit of a bitch in your inbox (feel free to ignore this if not), the dichotomy people build between bl and queer media is sooooo fascinating. and of course by that i mean it gives me hives. the universalizing of 'real queer experiences' is obnoxious as hell, but how its been applied to ofts has really shown me why i find it so obnoxious. most of the people who hold this dichotomy would never classify a bl that ignores homophobia as 'authentically queer' media. but i definitely saw people who hoped that the 'authentically queer' ofts would exist in a bubble without any slutshaming, or that it would be resolutely shut down in show. but in my aroallo experience? that would be as inauthentic as the no homophobia bubble, so where does that leave us?

also the circular logic in the bl vs queer media arguments is mind numbing. 'bl doesnt cover these types of themes' yeah dude because you forcibly remove everything with those themes from the bl category in your head. 'queer media must acknowledge homophobia' the idea that a story by queer people about queer characters isnt really queer because it chooses to focus on joy or discovery or any other facet of queer existence is so fucking depressing. go hug a queer friend and think about why you feel queerness is defined by suffering before anything else.

Oh, hey, you found my soap box, Anon! Let me just step on up there with you for a minute.

So, first off, let me just say how much I hate the term “authentically” queer. It seems to suggest that in order to be queer, you have to be queer a certain way. As an ultra femme lesbian, the queer community often makes me feel like I’m not queer enough. That I don’t understand the hardships that come with being gay because I am “straight-passing.” This is the same thing people do to BLs. News flash: if you’re queer, you’re queer. Period. Congratulations, that’s all it takes to be authentic!

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a large percentage of the people I see using this designation are straight women who think that queer suffering is a necessary part of the queer experience, but a lot of “authentically queer” people—me included—don’t want to be reminded of our real-life suffering every time we turn on the TV. Heartstopper is triggering for me. Bad Buddy is not. As a queer woman currently living in Ron DeSantis’s Florida,  I deserve to be able to turn on the TV every once in a while and not be reminded that there are people in the world who want me dead.

I’ve learned that when people describe a BL as “authentically queer,” what they actually mean is “This BL feels more Western”—the racist insinuation there being that Western media is inherently better.

I feel like The Eclipse is a good example of this hypocrisy. No one has ever called The Eclipse “authentically queer” despite the fact that it delivers one of the most nuanced takes on the dangers of systemic homophobia that I have seen anywhere. The writers of both the source material and the script are gay men. The director is queer. That seems to meet all of the qualifications these people set for “authentically queer” and yet no one has ever questioned that The Eclipse is a BL. Why? Because it incorporates traditionally Asian/yaoi humor tropes such as the pratfall and the accidental kiss. 

Are you sensing a pattern? It’s not the queer-ness of a piece of media that determines whether it is seen as “authentic.” It is its “Western-ness.”

Let me be very clear: All BLs are “authentically queer” media because the only requirement needed for a piece of media to be “authentically” queer is for the characters to be queer. And if you don’t like that, then maybe stop watching BLs.

If the people who were producing these shows had a problem with the term, that would be another discussion, but they don’t. P’Jojo has never advertised Only Friends as anything other than a BL. The fandom did that for him. And with all due respect, if the people making the fucking thing are calling it a BL, then it’s a fucking BL.

So, yeah. Not liking BLs doesn’t make you cool. It makes you a bigot. The fact that the term has become so derogatory is rooted in both racism and misogyny because this was originally a genre created by women, for women, and the hobbies of women are so often infantilized.

BLs are queer media. Die mad about it.

#yo #yooooo #this helped me articulate things that bothered me but i couldn't say why #i didn't understand the vehement dichotomization of BL and queer media #and kept wondering if i was missing something or am too new to BL or too white to get it #when i first got into BL a couple years ago #i thought it specifically referred to m/m love stories from East and Southeast Asia #i assumed nothing about authenticity #not saying that was right or wrong just that was my initial understanding #the only point i disagree with here is this: #'the only requirement needed for a piece of media to be “authentically” queer is for the characters to be queer' #i think media with queer characters created by straight folks may not be authentically queer (but it can be) #and media with straight characters created by queer folks can also be authentically queer #my definition is more complex but this is not the hill i'll die on #meta #queer rep #queer media

[1stthingsfirst]

ohhhh but it's so fascinating to me to see the ways ray's struggle with the mew vs. sand situation is the perfect mirror to sand's struggle with the boeing vs. ray situation. in so many ways the 2 cases are so similar, but it's the ways in which they are different are what make it so interesting.

both sand and ray started off this series being haunted by 'what-ifs' in their respective love lives. ray was haunted by a love he'd always wanted but never had. sand was haunted by a love he'd once had but then lost.

even just in ray and sand's dialogues, there are clear parallels in the way they talk about the hold the previous what-if holds over them:

right when it seems like ray is about to move on with sand, he finally gets a chance with mew. ray has wanted it for so long that he immediately jumps at the chance without even thinking of the consequences, almost like a knee-jerk reaction.

sand gives ray an ultimatum: it's either me or mew. but i will not wait for you, and i only want you to choose me if it's me that you really want - i do not want to be the second choice.

and so, ray lets go of mew and chooses sand - but then the script flips.

right when it seems like sand and ray are about to start a new beginning, now you have sand getting his (second) chance with boeing. sand has spent so long bemoaning the loss of his "stolen" love that he's way caught off guard by boeing's sudden reappearance and remorse, by sand's expression you'd think it's almost as if he'd unconsciously fallen right back into the headspace he'd been a year ago when it was just him and boeing.

ray gives sand an ultimatum, too: it's either me or boeing. i'll always be second so as long as he's around, so if you want to choose me - then you will also have to let him go for good.

their situations are almost inverses in a way as well. sand asks ray to choose once and for all to avoid being ray's second choice time and time again. ray asks sand to choose while admitting he is in the 'second string' position, yet still wanting to prove that sand is still ray's first and only choice, and that ray has no qualms about blatantly fighting for him.

another interesting parallel: even though ray has definitely chosen sand by the time he and mew have their Talk in ep9, ray still lets mew do most of the talking when they call it quits. it's what seals the deal for ray that he really does just love mew as a friend. you can see it in the way ray's i love you to mew comes out much more self-assured.

similarly, even though sand has 100% chosen ray by the time boeing shows up with the arctic monkey tickets, sand still lets ray do most of the talking to ward boeing off. it's what seals the deal for sand that not only has ray chosen him, but more importantly that ray will stay. you can see it in the way sand's demeanor is so much more relaxed after ray shows up. (mew is even there to give his final blessing to the couple lol)

there's more parallels with these two cases that i could go on about i'm sure, but more than anything i love that it fits with the theme of everything in this show happening twice - and often, it is the character growth that shines through in the differences between the parallels.

#tbh i felt weird about sand not being the one to eventually turn down boeing #and this post made me feel a bit better #ray only friends #sand only friends #raysand #sandray #sandboeing #boeing only friends #only friends the series #meta

[1stthingsfirst]

put that blorbo in a jar and shake him!: 💜☮ sand ☮💜

[cr: google + iphone templates by @cal-kestis; spotify playlist template by @uservalerian] [inspo: ★☆★] [💚ray version💚]

#i would protect him with my life #gorgeous! #sand only friends #bisexual king #only friends the series #today shall be pretty edit day #gifset #sandray #raysand

[1stthingsfirst]

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

First Kanaphan as SAND & Khaotung Thanawat as RAY ONLY FRIENDS THE SERIES (2023) dir. Jojo Tichakorn Phukhaotong

(in/sp)

#they're just so #only friends the series #raysand #sandray #today shall be pretty edit day #gifset #they're boyfriends your honor

[1stthingsfirst]

@userdramas event 11 » inspiration - inspired by this set by the ever-inspiring @khaotunqs 💜

#oooh super cool #today shall be pretty edit day #only friends the series #topmew #bostonnick #sandray #raysand #gifset

[1stthingsfirst]

i want an easy yet meaningful name. like...raysand. or sandray. i think it sounds nice when we put our names together.

#i disliked the fanservice of the name conversation #but these gifs are beautiful #raysand #sandray #only friends the series #today shall be pretty edit day #gifset

[1stthingsfirst]

ONLY FRIENDS (2023)

episode 1 // episode 12

#love a full circle moment #they're so cute i'm verklempt #raysand #sandray #only friends the series #they're boyfriends your honor

[1stthingsfirst]

So, Sand. Truth or dare? Dare. I dare you... to kiss... Top.

ONLY FRIENDS | EP12

#ray and mew being like #'you can kiss each other but not that much!' #is what dreams are made of #also #you bite him sand #show him what's what #sandtop #not a tag i'd thought i'd make #sand only friends #top only friends #ray only friends #mew only friends #only friends the series #gifset

[1stthingsfirst]

#the urge to see mix in OF vs. the knowledge that second seasons tend to ruin shows. fight!

#if they had a s2 that didn't focus exclusively on s1's cast #and instead on the goings on of the visitors at the hostel #then it might be okay #like we see our s1 cast working #but don't go into their lives in great detail #so we don't have the opportunity to ruin what good we had #a la midnight diner or shows like that #anyway just thinking about that #ALSO i know mix's char is shown to be into mew #and it is counter to their character arcs #but i am dying for a show with a firstkhaomix throuple #hear me gmmtv #mix sahaphap #ofts bts #only friends the series

[1stthingsfirst]

🫡🫡🫡

#'making every one count' #bless him #also #the fact that he actually adjusts his glasses that way irl #and that it wasn't a character choice #is fascinating lol #mond tanutchai #ofts bts #only friends the series #gifset

[1stthingsfirst]

#never over it.

#that he can exhibit such intimacy on screen #and be such a squealing baby boy irl #is the greatest dichotomy in this world #bless this man #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #only friends the series #ofts bts #bl actors

[1stthingsfirst]

✨The Real Top Tier✨

#reblogging this in light of the fact that first has kissed ALL THREE of these men #<< HELP #i do not ship these actors irl #but my first thought was #'he took mix's mic' #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #mix sahaphap #force jiratchapong #earth pirapat #bl actors

[1stthingsfirst]

Sandray + Bisexual Behavior Only Friends (2023)

#the cuffed sleeves #and unbuttoned button-ups #are the biggest visual bi indicators #we love a canonically bi couple #queer rep #sandray #raysand #only friends the series #gifset #petition for summer and amm to have their own queer love story

[1stthingsfirst]

FIRST KANAPHAN as SAND & KHAOTUNG THANAWAT as RAY

in ep.12 of ONLY FRIENDS (2023)

#they saw 2gether's high five #and raised them a fist bump #i kid i kid #cute lil beans in love #i've had those tags on this post for a week #just languishing in my drafts #until i felt the energy to add the maintenance tags #raysand #sandray #only friends the series #they're boyfriends your honor #gifset

[1stthingsfirst]

boyfriends in love ❤️

#i'm tired of thinking #so have cute boyfies in love #they're boyfriends your honor #raysand #sandray #only friends the series #gifset

[1stthingsfirst]

I feel like so many people are forgetting the fact that Boston TOLD Nick last episode that he was only going to sleep with him, it wasn't Nick who brought that up, this episode wasn't really Nick not accepting Boston as Poly or anything like that it was Nick being betrayed after BOSTON had offered him exclusivity

#yeah i have a lot of thoughts about boston's story arc #and i am a self-proclaimed boston apologist #but like #he did lie to nick #straight up #and obliquely #and it's not unreasonable for him to face consequences for that #within the context nick was probably nicer than expected #boston only friends #nick only friends #bostonnick #meta #only friends the series

[1stthingsfirst]

by popular (@ahxu-laowen) request

#case in point #re: the previous post #this is not how you kiss someone you don't care about lol #loving and both gentle and passionate #look at those lingering fingers on ray's neck! #also i had a breakdown looking at sand's hand on ray's jaw in the 4th and 5th gifs #i'm not a size kink kind of person and yet #it makes ray look so delicate #i'm having another breakdown just writing about it! #raysand #sandray #only friends the series #gifset