One more piece of art tonight! this is a redraw of a mermaid design I created back at the beginning of the pandemic, way back in March 2020. I’d like to think I’ve grown as an artist quite a lot since then!
Experimented with color on this one, wanted to get as close to making it look traditional as possible- it was really fun!
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(Spanish below)
The process of this drawing is described with two words that are rarely seen together: fast, and difficult.
Fast because, as you will see, I didn't just make my big picasso, nor is it my most detailed drawing. What took me the longest, actually, was figuring out how to capture what I was feeling on the screen. There was something about that original sketch that started from the simple idea of "a chair knotted in vines" that made me not want to touch anything and at the same time want to touch everything. I felt that when I turned it into an original I had to make it cleaner, neater. Add a background, more details, make it look more professional. But I came to the conclusion that all this was nothing more than new traps I was setting for myself to continue avoiding the inevitable.
I always saw that part of me, that part of me represented with a wheelchair, as something "unaesthetic", something not worthy of drawing. I hid it from my drawings just as society hid me, as society taught me to hide myself.
No, no one ever came to tell me expressly (well, maybe once in a while), but it was little acts (or also non-acts) one after another and another and another that as I grew up taught me that there were two parts of me: one good and one bad, one acceptable and one that I had to leave hidden as much as I could. And that, since what I could hide wasn't much, then everything about me was nothing more than a flaw, an annoyance, a mistake that should never have existed, much less been drawn.
I let all those words get tangled up in me, and stagnate me.
I'm slowly learning to accept that part of me, but it's hard when everyone keeps telling you that you shouldn't do it. But to finally be able to draw and publish something about it I think is a big step. As much as I still think it's a horrible and pointless drawing.
Happy disability pride month ✨️
Español:
El proceso de este dibujo se describe con dos palabras que pocas veces se las ve juntas: rápido, y difícil.
Rápido porque, como verán, no acabo de hacer mi gran picasso ni es mucho menos mi dibujo más detallado. Lo que me llevo más tiempo, en realidad, fue el encontrar como plasmar lo que sentía en la pantalla. Había algo de ese boceto original que partio de la simple idea de "una silla anudada en enredaderas" que me hacía no querer tocar nada y a la vez querer tocar todo. Sentía que al pasarlo a original tenía que hacerlo más limpio, más prolijo. Agregarle un fondo, más detalles, que se vea más profesional. Pero llegue a la conclusión de que todo esto no era más que nuevas trampas que me ponia a mi misma para continuar evadiendo lo inevitable.
Siempre vi a esa parte de mí, esa parte de mi representada con una silla de ruedas, como algo "poco estetico", algo no digno de dibujar. Lo oculte de mis dibujos tal y cómo la sociedad me oculto a mí, como la sociedad me enseño a ocultarme.
No, no vino nunca nadie a decirmelo expresamente (bueno, quiza alguna que otra vez si), pero fueron pequeños actos (o también no-actos) uno atrás de otro y otro y otro los que a medida que fui creciendo me enseñaron que había dos partes de mí: una buena y otra mala, una aceptable y otra que debia dejar oculta tanto como pudiera. Y que, como lo que podia ocultarla no era mucho, entonces todo de mi no era más que una falla, una molestia, un error que nunca debería haber existido y mucho menos ser dibujado.
Deje que todas esas palabras se enredaran en mí, y me estancaran.
Poco a poco estoy aprendiendo a aceptar esa parte de mi, pero es difícil cuando todo el mundo sigue diciendote que no deberias hacerlo. Pero el poder, finalmente, dibujar y publicar algo referido a esto creo que es un gran paso. Por más que siga pensando que es un dibujo horrible y sin sentido.
Feliz mes del orgullo disca✨️
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