#cyn's 'they need you less than you need them'

[etherealising]

chapter seven | they know i believed in us last week

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader | platonic!pete x fem!reader | male!oc x fem!reader |

summary: carmy struggles to deal with your absence in his life, while you finally learn to live without him.

warning(s): talk about miscarriage (no explicit details) | word miscarriage used once | implied suicidal thoughts | substance abuse | NA | AA | Al-Anon | grief | mention of pregnancy |angst | drama | semi-fluff | language | sad boi carm | baby being mature | woe is me carmy | please let me know if i missed anything |

wc: 7.3k

song rec: i'll still have me - cyn, aquilo

semi-edited/proof-read

“Carm hey, are you listening?” Natalie’s eyes flitted across Carmy’s face, his blank eyes staring directly past her. She took this moment as a chance to take in her younger brother’s ragged appearance, at first glance he looked like he normally did; exhausted. But taking the time to really study him, she knew Carmy was doing worse than he’d ever admit.

His usual textured and fluffy hair was limp against his head, the greasy quality of it proving he needed a wash. The discoloration under his eyes was the worst Nat had seen it, the deep blue-purple bruising a sign that he was getting even less sleep than he usually did. The skin of his lips was dehydrated and bitten to pieces, a tick he had as a child that gradually calmed down as he grew older. And the visible stubble on his chin was enough to know that the absence of your presence in his life was hitting him harder than anyone expected.

Her eyes caught on the chain that was haphazardly peeking out of his shirt, squinting at the newly added pendant hanging from it. Natalie didn’t have to be a genius to know whose initial hung around Carmen’s neck, the chain which was usually safely tucked into his shirt was now blatantly on show for everyone to see. Natalie had noticed it more recently since your and Carmy’s argument, though this was her first time seeing it this close. She would find him just standing in the restaurant, sometimes eyes staring into nothing as he worried the pendant between his fingers, oftentimes raising it to his lips before letting it go completely and wandering to do whatever task needed to be done.

Natalie’s concern was palpable but the discomfort in her abdomen was worse. “Have you tried talking to her?” The shaky breath she let out filtered between the two of them.

Carmen’s eyes finally snapped to hers taking in the uncomfortable expression on her face, “Sug?” He waited for Nat to focus on him. “You good?” The question hung in the air as Natalie tried to even out her breathing.

Using his sister's obvious discomfort to deflect from the conversation she was insistent on having wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but he’d rather put his sister’s well-being before being forced to think about how long it had been since he last spoke to you; he last saw you.

Carmy watched as Sug raised a closed hand to her mouth suppressing the urge to gag. “Yeah good, I’m good.” The forced smile on her lips did nothing to fool Carmy, but he wouldn’t force the issue.

“Can you uh, explain to me again how we’re doing, I spaced.” His fingers raised to run through his hair a small grimace painting his face at the grime he could feel left behind on his fingertips.

“Seven weeks out, Carm, and still so much to be done,” An exhausted sigh breathed through Natalie’s lips. The stress opening this restaurant caused felt extremely unnecessary considering her current status.

“No yeah I heard that,” Carmy nodded his head rapidly, Sug’s words slowly coming back to him. He squinted his eyes, hand scratching the grown-out stubble on his chin.  “You uh said something about the DBA getting rejected?”

“About that.” Natalie’s voice trailed off one hand pressing into her abdomen to ease the ache, “The name’s taken.”

Nat watched as Carmy processed the words, her discomfort felt like it was increasing as the seconds passed by.

“Who the fuck could’ve taken the name?” The idea perplexed Carmy. There was no chance another business could have the same name, well there was, it was just slim as hell.

Nat shrugged just as confused as Carmy “It’s been trademarked for years, whoever filed has all legal rights to the name.”

“Fuck me!” The pitch of Carmy’s voice rose along with his irritation.

Natalie’s own mumbled expletive was drowned out by Carmy’s outburst, the nauseating morning sickness she was experiencing came in an extra hard bout today.

“Yo, Sug…Sug. You sure you’re okay?” Carmy’s concern now outweighed his confusion, Nat’s weird behavior this whole morning was beginning to worry him.

“I can do this Carmy right, tell me I can do this.” Natalie’s breathing began to increase as a slight panic flooded through her. Carmy watched her with wide eyes, no idea what she could even be talking about.

“Tell me I can do it, Carm!” The wave of nausea subsided with her yell, Carmy’s hands raised in the air to divert blame.

“Fuck okay! You can do it Sug.”

“I am…completely terrified. And I’m only telling you because..I don’t know. Just-just in case.” Natalie nodded to herself as a way to provide her nerves with courage.

Carmy just stared at Natalie still not following where she was leading this conversation to.

“I really want this to be loving and good and happy,” A smile rose to Nat’s face “I just..I don’t want anyone to know…well besides Baby and now you.”

Carmy’s eyes focused on Sug’s abdomen, the pieces of the puzzle slowly fitting together in his head. The name she spoke felt like it was echoing through his ears.

“Sure” He wasn’t sure how to react to the news, he had always assumed Natalie would be the first of the siblings to start a family. And as the years passed by he knew it was a desire he himself had.

“I really don’t want Richie to know. Because somehow, it feels more in my control when and who knows…” The sound of the wall falling caused Nat to raise her voice as she finished her sentence. “That I’m pregnant.” Her final words were spoken just loud enough to alert the crew to her news.

“I fuckin’ knew it.” The sound of Richie’s shout grated on Nat’s nerves, but the quiet congratulations helped to ease her ire a bit.

Carmy was happy for Sugar, but it felt like it was setback after setback for the restaurant and all the personal issues he was dealing with weren't helping his stress. He felt his shoulders sag a bit mind racing as to how the name could already be trademarked, or who would’ve trademarked it.

His eyes found Richie’s as the man cajoled about how he knew Natalie was pregnant this whole time. Had Richie told someone the name and they took it for themselves? Did Mikey somehow trademark it while on a bender? The thought made Carmy’s head hurt what the fuck even was the point of opening this restaurant if they couldn’t use the name. The name was the epitome of the restaurant.

If you were here Carmy knew you would've given him an analogy for how he was feeling, you would’ve told him he was like Atlas holding up the sky or whatever he did. He shook his head trying to rid himself of thoughts of you, it wasn’t helping him in the least.

As much as he’d rather not converse with Richie, he needed to get to the bottom of this trademark business.

“Yo, Cousin!” The words felt wrong escaping Carmy’s lips the two men avoided each other in the same way you avoided Carmen.

The agitation on Richie’s face was instant, Carmy knew he fucked up with you, but the cold shoulder he was getting from Richie felt unnecessary.

Nat watched as the two men locked eyes, not too keen on playing referee for these two again. She looked in Carmy’s direction as Richie began making his way over, trying to gauge what was going through her little brother's mind.

“Carmen,” Richie nodded in acknowledgment to Carmy. Richie would be lying if he said he wasn’t purposefully using Carmy’s government name to rile him up, he knew how much Carmy hated it when you did it, and since you weren’t here someone had to uphold the tradition.

Carmy felt his eye twitch Richie’s immaturity since the argument with you felt never-ending. “Did Mikey ever trademark the name?”

Richie frowned looking between him and Nat the assumption that he had any goddamn clue laughable “What the fuck did Mikey look like trademarking shit? Wasn’t I just slangin’ crack to keep the lights on?”

Carmy’s eyes shut as Nat let out a quiet gasp, watching as Richie raised his hands in defense. Maybe running a back alley drug ring wasn’t the best for business, but without it, they may not have been in this moment renovating the restaurant.

“Well someone fucking trademarked it, Richie.” The attitude Carmy was catching was wholly unwelcome.

“I don’t like your tone, Carmen,” Richie matched Carmy’s energy giving him what he was getting. “All I’m sayin’ is Mikey didn’t trademark it whoever did might…I dunno hypothetically deserve an apology in return for said documents.”

Carmy was at his wits end with the older man “Oh so you’re the fucking Riddler now.”

“Baby trademarked the name?” Nat’s voice traveled between the trio at the same time as Carmen’s snarky remark. Carmy’s head shot to her, confused as to how she concluded you had anything to do with the conversation at hand.

“Bingo!” Richie’s hands came together in a loud clap Sydney rolled her eyes at the obnoxious man before looking over the various work orders. “She did that shit years ago and gave it to Mikey as a present, he…left it for her when he passed.”

A quiet fell over their small group, each of them taking in the gesture. Richie had only become privy to the present when he went through the office to try and make sense of what the hell Mikey was doing to keep the business up and running. He had knocked a framed picture of your group off the desk cleaning up the mess only to find the folded trademark document in the back of the broken picture frame.

Your name was haphazardly scribbled into the back of it.

Carmen’s chest heaved as he let the news wash over him, it seemed since the two of you had your falling out the universe was continuously pushing him to interact with you. He raised his hand to his face, rubbing it up and down as he added another item to the long list of things going wrong with the restaurant.

In a way, learning that you were responsible for trademarking the name made Carmy’s chest feel warm. It felt like you wanted this for Mikey just as much as he did, the two of you both supporting Mikey in ways the other never knew. It also gave him an excuse to speak with you, not that he needed one. If he was a better man he would’ve already worked up the courage to reach out to you. He could feel a headache coming on the more he thought about trying to fix things with you.

Carmen was sure he’d figure things out soon, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could figure things out with you not by his side. Which he would admit was quite ironic considering all the times he had willingly pushed you away. But being pushed away by you had proven to him just how badly he was screwing things up with you, to hear you be so upset by his actions he basically forced you into confessing your love stung him to his core.

Carmy wasn’t exactly sure what love was supposed to feel like, but he was almost positive it wasn’t this. The ache in his chest from not being around you, looking for you in every crowd he was in. Soaking up any conversation your name was mentioned in. Maybe he did know what love was supposed to feel like, because for all the time he had been in love with you, he had never once felt so completely and utterly broken as he had been since not fighting for your love a year ago like he should have.

“That was Nat,” you looked up as Pete returned to the table, a smile growing on your face at how happy he looked to have been speaking with his wife. “Cat’s out of the bag! Our pregnancy is no longer top secret!”

Pete’s excitement was contagious, your smile growing wider at his pure joy. “Our pregnancy?” You chuckled never having heard anyone refer to it as if the pregnancy was shared.

You watched as Pete sipped the water in front of him, a signature goofy smile back on his face. “Of course! I mean yeah Nat is carrying the baby, but I’m just as pregnant as she is.” You gave Pete a confused look, a laugh bubbling out of you.

“You laugh now Baby, but I’m serious.” Pete paused as the waiter brought out the bread for your table, both of you quickly thanking them. “Nat’s my partner you know? And I’m so grateful for her providing me the opportunity to be a father. Allowing me to build with her, for us to come together and bring a child into this world, it’s a beautiful thing I love her ya know.”

The sheen in Pete’s eyes was enough to make you emotional you didn’t need to hear his explanation to know how much Pete loved Natalie, you could just see it in the way he looked at her, in the way his face would light up when anyone would mention her name or ask about her.

“I’m happy that Nat has someone like you to build a life with.” Both you and Pete shared misty-eyed smiles, chuckles leaving each of you at how emotional the small things made both of you.

“Looks like that dinner you were planning just turned into a full-blown baby shower!” The loud clap Pete’s hands made startled you. “Wow, it really will be a Baby shower!”

You watched as Pete laughed at his own pun, doing your best not to laugh along with him and encourage his bad jokes. The relationship you developed with Pete was a bit weird in the beginning, you weren’t the most open to the idea, and it’s not because you didn’t like Pete, it just felt like you were replacing Mikey.

It took a while before you could look at Pete and realize he wasn’t trying to replace Mikey’s role in your life, and that the drugs and paranoia had driven you to that conclusion. Pete was a great man, standing by Natalie’s side while she fought to keep you alive. Probably being more accepting than someone else may have been when he and Nat decided to help you. Pete and Natalie both put aside their own lives to help you get better, and get back on your feet, and while part of you wished Mikey was around to ground you as well, Pete’s love and kindness didn’t deserve to be taken for granted.

“That dinner was supposed to be a surprise for you too Peter,” you shot him a tiny glare before reaching for some bread. “I just wanted you both to have a nice night off together, no stress.” The reservation had already been made, but thinking about Pete’s words and the excitement when explaining most everyone knew about the pregnancy, maybe it would have been best for an intimate shower for the two soon-to-be parents.

Pete was definitely a family guy and Natalie came from a big family, maybe a shower would be for the best. Surround them with people who loved and supported them and just allow everyone to bask in the happiness the joyous news brought, you were sure everyone could use a break.

“Okay hypothetically say I put together a small shower for the two of you, is that even something Nat would want?” Sure you knew Nat but Pete was her husband and this was their moment, you didn’t want to ambush her with a party she never wanted.

You watched Pete bristle a little, a nervous smile raised to his lips, “I uh I’m not sure if Nat ever told you but she kinda had this…this whole dream about the two of you,” you frowned confused at what Pete was talking about.

“Well not like an unconscious sleeping dream, more like a-an idea?” Pete’s voice rose at the end of his sentence, not sure if the question in his tone was meant for you or him.

“Pete bud you lost me.” You gave him a small nod of encouragement awaiting his response.

“Um so…after your uh…loss,” a sad smile rose to Pete’s lips, you could see the apology in his eyes. “Nat she uh…she confided in me about how she always wanted to be the one to throw you a shower if you ever decided to have children. And if-when we had our own she’d want you to be in charge of hers…if you wanted to not like she would force you.” The nervous huff of laughter from Pete hung in the air for a minute.

The admission perplexed you, Nat had never brought this up to you directly and maybe it was because she felt like she couldn’t. You weren’t the most open when it came to the topic of your miscarriage always avoiding the conversation whenever Nat tried to breach it.

“Baby…you’re the closest thing Natalie has to a sister. I can promise she would be ecstatic no matter what decision you choose.”

You nodded, the motion happened unconsciously as you tried to take in everything Pete had laid on you. Of course, there were things Nat wouldn’t share with you, but while the two of you were like sisters you didn’t expect her to share every little detail with you. As you let Pete’s words digest you couldn’t help the warm feeling beginning to flood through your body, if you were being honest you weren’t sure if it was the best idea to be throwing anyone a baby shower, but you also knew Natalie deserved to be celebrated, not only for the life she and Pete were creating together, but also for all the work she was doing to ensure that The Bear had a fighting chance.

“Okay,” your head continued its up-and-down motion. “Yeah okay let’s do it but I’m going to need your help, Pete.” You watched the smile on his face increase tenfold, your own wide smile spreading your lips due to how contagious Pete’s joy was.

“Anything and I mean anything Baby, I am your guy.” Pete’s giddiness warmed you even more, you didn’t think you had ever been surrounded by anyone with such a positive attitude before. In the beginning, when Natalie and Pete first began dating, his electric personality was a bit much but you found yourself always trying to make Pete feel included, especially with how off-putting the rest of the Berzatto clan could be.

And when you were recovering it was almost like you had to re-acclimate yourself to Pete’s personality. Your recovery was hard, there were some days you weren’t even sure if you wanted to get better or if you wanted oxygen to continue filling your lungs. But Pete was so positive and always looking at life and your situation with a ‘glass half full’ mentality, that his constant belief in you helped to make the hard days easier.

A small sigh escaped your lips as you readied yourself for the question you were about to ask. “Pete, do you think you could give me Carmen’s number?” You tried not to roll your eyes as you saw Pete’s own light up, you were almost positive he would be telling Nat about this topic of conversation. “Before you get any ideas, I just need it to invite him to the shower.” You raised your hands in defense hoping Pete wouldn’t look into this any more than he already was.

“No can do B, the idea train has already left the station.” His fingers drummed on the table with excitement. “But I will do you one better,” you frowned as you watched Pete pick up his phone, fingers skating across the screen before he held it up to show you. A call to Carmen already going through as Pete sent you a thumbs-up.

You looked at the screen eyes wide, the shock temporarily paralyzed for a moment. The quiet sound of the ringing between the two of you brought you back. “Pete! Hang up the phone.” Your voice was terse as you spoke trying not to draw too much attention from other patrons.

Pete laughed, “He never answers my calls anyway.” Pete’s words irritated you, but you were glad to see the call go to voicemail before Pete pressed the end call button and set his phone down.

You let out a surprised laugh, Pete had definitely been too influenced by the Berzattos during his time with Natalie. The little stunt he just pulled was something you knew both Richie and Mikey would do if given the chance.

“Baby?” Your head raised eyes meeting Pete’s, “I know this may sound selfish, but I…I need you to figure out this thing between you and Carmen.” Your eyebrows furrowed the need to defend yourself hitting you full force, you opened your mouth to respond but stopped as Pete raised his hand, a signal to let him continue.

“I know Baby, I know. I’ll be honest with you, as much as I love Nat’s family I think you should’ve given up on Carmen a long time ago.” Your jaw fell slack, and Pete’s eyes widened a bit. “No, no just for your own wellbeing, your peace of mind.” You began nodding as Pete explained himself better. “I just, whatever is going on between you and Carmen, it’s affecting Nat. And she won’t tell you because you deserve to feel how you feel, but with the baby and the restaurant…she doesn’t need to play "Fix it Felix” with you and Carmen right now.”

You let out a small chuckle at Pete’s explanation, over the years he had begun expressing himself to you more. You being the only one on Natalie’s side who actually gave him the time of day and willfully listened to him, helped him to gain more confidence when around the rest of the Berzattos. You reached for your glass of water, taking a long sip before setting it down.

“Thank you, Pete, for being honest,” you sighed, finger playing with the condensation on your cup. “If I’m being honest, it's easy to forget that Nat’s in the middle of everything. She’s so good at pretending it doesn’t affect her.” A rueful smile rose to your lips, as great as a friend as Natalie had been to you through everything, you weren’t sure the same could be said for yourself. “You’re right, Carmen and I are adults, we should be able to figure this out ourselves. I’ll…I’ll call him, figure things out.” You sent Pete a small smile.

Recently it felt like Natalie and Pete nursed you back to health and then for some reason became your surrogate parents. You didn’t think there was anything wrong with leaning on them, the three of you did endure a traumatic experience together so it was understandable. But maybe you had become too comfortable and relied on them too much to ‘fix’ your life. You could understand where Pete was coming from and he had every right to put his wife’s well-being before the feelings of his friends.

You knew Natalie and Pete would be amazing parents and of course, Nat’s fears were valid. But you had seen firsthand just how loving, caring, and kind the couple was, and while that wasn’t all that went into raising a child it was like a part of you just knew that their child would be in great hands.

“Enough about my poor life choices Pete, have you guys thought of any names?” The timing of the question couldn’t have been more perfect, Pete perked up at the question, eyes glazing over with excitement. A waiter stopped by your table to deliver your entrees as Pete began animatedly explaining his and Nat’s process for picking names.

A part of you ached at how happy Pete was, if things were different, maybe in another life you would’ve been able to see that excitement on another man’s face. Maybe the two of you would’ve come up with your own system for picking out names.

You listened as lunch continued, no matter how many times the thought had crossed your mind, you would always be grateful that Natalie had found a partner to love her in the ways she deserved.

 It was silent between you and Cortez as you made your second lap around the block, the church in the distance behind you. Your hands were preoccupied with a warm disposable cup of hot cocoa as Cortez gingerly sipped his choice of tea. This had become the routine for your meetings with your sponsor, the two of you would meet at the bodega a little ways away from the church that housed both AA and NA meetings. Then continue your meeting with a few circles around the block before ending at the church stairs when all was said and done.

The air was tense between the two of you, Cortez hadn’t taken kindly to your decision to skip out on the few check-ins that you had asked for. In the beginning, you were in constant contact with Cortez, feeling the match between the two of you out. As you progressed through recovery and got back into the routine of daily life the daily talks between the two of you began to dwindle as you settled into life as a recovering addict.

But after that initial meeting at The Beef, being in Carmen’s presence again, surrounding yourself with Richie and the life you once knew, the meetings with Cortez picked back up in frequency. And you were doing fine for some time, the man meeting with you when you needed it, always willing to speak with you whenever you asked and it was helpful, god was it helpful. But then you made it to step nine, step eight in the recovery program was its own monster that Cortez helped you through especially when it came to who didn’t need to be on your list.

You made the decision to text Cortez after admitting your faults to Richie. As great as it felt to finally be open with Richie and let him into your life, it also brought with it the urge to use again. Richie had been kind enough to take the bottle of champagne off your hands that night, but the desire to call Fak and ask if Theo had anything he could spare almost won out. But as you scrolled through your contacts the red icon hovering over the voicemail tab brought you back to your senses.

“So your friend Richie knows?” Your eyes shot to Cortez taking in his side profile before focusing back on their attention focused on the steaming paper cup of coffee gripped in their hands.

“Yeah, his daughter kind of spilled the beans.” You nodded playing with the frayed edges of your jeans.

“That’s a bit fucked up don’t cha think?” Cortez’s brows furrowed. “I mean how does his little girl know but he don’t that’s gotta hurt.”

You rolled your eyes, “Aren’t you supposed to like not be judgmental?” Cortez’s laugh felt like it was grating on your ears, as good a sponsor as he was, he had the personality of an annoying older brother you were happy not to have.

“It ain’t even judgment though, it’s an observation.” You didn’t have to be looking at him to know that annoying smirk was on his lips as he shrugged his shoulders.

You stopped as Cortez dropped his now empty cup in a trash bin on the street, “Didn’t know you received your inspector gadget certification.”

“That smart ass mouth is bouta be the reason you out here looking for a new sponsor,” you let out a cackle before taking a much-needed sip of your hot cocoa. “Sound like my daughter with that dumb shit.” If you didn’t know the man who was walking by your side, you would’ve thought he was actually upset, but you could tell by the uptick of his lips he didn’t take anything to heart.

The two of you rounded the corner coming up on the church. You watched as Cortez plopped his long limbs down on one of the steps, opting to sit on the railing. Cortez took out his pack of cigarettes bringing the box to his mouth and removing one before offering the box in your direction. You slipped one out a small laugh escaped you at the irony of everything, how you had once been so against the cancer sticks that those around you would make sure not to smoke around you. And then instead of indulging in a nicotine addiction, you turned to alcohol and prescription pills, the fact that you would smoke a cigarette here and there to appease your urges now felt a bit comical.

You leaned forward allowing Cortez to light your cigarette, “Man ain’t nothin’ like smoking on Big G’s doorstep.” Cortez’s voice filled the silence that had settled over the two of you, you took a drag of the cigarette, a small chuckle escaping you with the smoke.

“I used to hate these fucking things.” The disgust on your face was obvious even as the stick hung from your mouth.

“Why you take one every time I offer 'em’ then?” Cortez switched positions leaning his elbows on the step behind him as he stretched his long limbs out in front of them, offering a wave to the few people entering the church for whatever meeting was scheduled to take place.

You shrugged eyes falling to Cortez’s beat-up boots as you sucked the nicotine deep into your lungs, “They’re the same brand Mikey smoked.”

“Damn ma, that shits kinda sad.” The two of you locked eyes before small laughs left the both of you. You had been around Cortez for so long that you’d picked up on his need to turn most anything into a joke. And while in the beginning, it pissed you off, you realized that’s just who he was and that sometimes being able to laugh in serious moments or at your trauma was helpful.

“Nah seriously though better smokin’ these than messin’ with that shit that hooked you in the first place. Know what I mean?” You nodded, finishing off the cigarette in your hand before taking the second cigarette Cortez offered. You knew how these things went and had spent so much time with the man that you learned to read him. Cortez only ever smoked two cigarettes and offered you two if the conversation was gonna be a rough one.

“Where you at with them apologies?” You sighed letting the man light your cigarette one more time, allowing the fumes to warm your lungs.

You dropped from your seat on the railing, your backside had gone numb. You settled yourself to lean against the railing “I mean I told Richie the truth and there were a lot of apologies in that conversation. But I feel like he deserves a better apology.” You shrugged, your attention dropping to Cortez as he listened.

“Ima be honest wit chu, this might be the hardest part of recovery. Shit I know it was f’me admittin’ to my little girl her father was a fuckin’ junkie. But at the end of the day, you gotta remember this recovery shit is for you. If homeboy loves you like a sister like you say he does, all that should matter to him is that yo annoyin’ ass still here. A’ight, ma?” You listened, nodding along to his words. “All you can do is apologize for the shit you did, you can’t control whether people forgive you or not, and remember ain’t nobody gotta fuck with your apology if they don’t want to.”

You let Cortez’s words settle into you, to anyone else his words may not have seemed genuine but this is just who Cortez was. And you knew no matter how nonchalant he sounded he was speaking every word from his heart.

“You still fuckin with that lil dumbass boy?” The question caused you to choke on the last bit of cocoa in your cup.

“We had a falling out, he’s one of the people I have to apologize to though.” The cigarette between your fingers continued to burn. “There’s a lot I still haven’t told him…the substance abuse, the reasons behind my overdose.” An exhausted sigh pushed its way through your lips. It was like one thing after another when it came to you and Carmy.

“Listen I know we ain’t sposed to have like personal relationships and shit, but lemme know what homeboy looks like I’ll get my goons on em’ for you.” Your head fell back in laughter as Cortez raised his fist to under both of his eyes.

“No goons Cortez, please. Wait, have you ever actually put a hit on somebody before?” You obviously didn’t know Cortez as well as you would have if the two of you were friends. But it wasn’t hard to tell that he would get down if need be.

“Why someone say somethin’?” The two of you shared a laugh, the now more frequent people entering the church signifying that your time together was coming to an end.

“Aight, I gotta head in, get shit set up in there. But ima send you the info for Nar-Anon you give that shit to people who still choose to put up with yo ass. You comin' in?”

You shook your head sending him a small smile, “I came to the morning meetings today.”

You nodded in thanks as Cortez stood up, pushing yourself off the railing. You placed the cigarette between your lips leaving your hands open to do the handshake Cortez insisted you did after each meeting. When he first introduced it you were still getting used to the idea of being a recovering addict and thought he was fucking crazy. But you realized he used it as a way to break the serious desolate feeling that some of these meetings ended on, to help bring some light to what was such a dark reality.

At least that’s how he explained it to you, but you were sure he just liked doing the handshake his daughter helped him come up with.

“Ima see you when I see you ma stay straight.” You chuckled before turning on your heel to head to your parked car. Putting the bud of the cigarette out against the trash bin you passed. It was still early, enough time for you to knock out some baby shower shopping before it got too late.

Carmen stopped in his tracks, eyes finding your figure across the street. You were in front of the church that held the Al-Anon meetings he told you about. Maybe you would be attending the one he was here for, his eyes traveled to the man sitting on the steps you were talking to eyebrows furrowing as he realized the vapors leaving your mouth weren’t from your warm temperature, but instead the stick you had raised to your mouth.

“Baby?” The question left his lips in a quiet whisper, he knew it was you standing across the street but it had been a few weeks since your last interaction he was sure he had imagined you. But he would know you anywhere, by scent alone. He couldn’t help the shock at watching you smoke, something you had been so opposed to since the two of you were children. Even going so far as telling Carmy you couldn’t be friends when he smoked his first cigarette at 15, the stalemate barely lasted a day after you realized how dumb the idea was.

Carmy watched as the two of you stood up, his hopes to see you inside dwindling as he watched the two of you begin to part ways, an intricate handshake taking place before you turned to leave. He watched as your figure disappeared around the corner, a quiet ‘shit’ leaving his lips before he darted across the street trying to catch you before you were gone for good.

“Baby! Hey!” His shouts were useless, you were too far gone to have even heard him. “Fuck!” One hand raised to sit on the bill of his cap, the universe seemed like it was doing everything in its power to keep the two of you apart. Or maybe it was just the way things were meant to be.

Carmy turned to see the man you were with still standing in the same spot you left him, eyes narrowed as he took in Carmy’s figure. The man eyed Carmy for a moment longer, sending a head nod his way before turning and entering the church. Carmy was tempted to follow the man and ask about you, but whatever your relationship with the unknown man was, it was none of Carmy’s business.

He sighed eyes shooting up to the sky before taking a deep breath and making his way inside, not wanting to be late and disturb the Al-Anon meeting before it began. Carmy made his way to the room where the meeting usually took place, eyes landing on the same man from outside once more as he greeted members, the sign near the door he stood by signifying it was an NA meeting. Carmy stopped for a moment, eyes darting between the man and the sign he’d just read.

“You lost kid?” Carmy looked at the man brown furrowed as he shook his head, he sent a tight smile the man's way before walking two doors down for his own meeting. Carmen’s brain felt like it was racing a mile a minute. If you weren’t coming to the Al-Anon meeting, why were you here? And why were you talking with someone who appeared to be leading NA meetings?

The vibrating of his phone caught his attention, the device easily slipped out of his pocket. He felt the air leave his lungs as your name flashed across his screen, he realized just how indecent setting that Polaroid picture of you with his chain on might have been now that he was in public, but it’s not like he ever thought you’d call him.

How’d you even get his number?

“Carmen, hey, we’re about to start your coming?” His head shot up to one of the usual who attended these meetings and would talk to him on occasion.

“Yeah uh, just give me a minute.” Carmy gave a tight smile, eyes flashing back to his phone finger moving to swipe across the screen, the call abruptly ending before he even got the chance to hear your voice. Carmen was sure he had the worst luck in the world, a defeated sigh leaving him, he was almost positive there was no chance you were calling him back.

Quickly putting his phone on Do Not Disturb and in the safety of his jacket pocket, he entered the meeting, as much as he wanted to drop everything and fix things with you. He wasn’t even sure what you had called him for. Carmen also knew it was for the best to attend the meeting,

Carmen was sitting in his car allowing it to warm up as he waited. The skyline began to reflect the sunset, the time on the dashboard letting him know it was around dinner time. He fished his phone out of his pocket mindlessly checking the notifications he’d gotten while in the meeting.

Carmy’s brows furrowed at the flurry of messages he received from a group chat he wasn’t aware he was a part of. He frowned as he opened it, your contact is one of the many in the text chain. The only contact with a photo was yours, making you easily distinguishable, he realized the rest of the people in the chat were the restaurant crew. He scrolled through the messages eyes reading over your message with details about a baby shower, your address included.

Carmy exited out of his messages, unsure of how things were between the two of you. It had been three weeks since the argument and neither of you had tried contacting the other. But here he was with a message from you, and a missed call and he wasn’t sure how to take any of it.

He decided it was a good idea to call you back, and try and feel out the atmosphere between the two of you. His heart felt like it was stuttering in his chest as his finger hovered over his screen; you left him a voicemail. He needed to know what the message said, but a part of him was also worried he might not like what he heard, he had hurt you too many times to count, and if whatever you had to say to him broke him down more than he already was, well then he was sure he deserved it.

Carmen took one last deep breath before clicking on the voicemail and raising the phone to his ear, heart pounding in his chest as he heard the sweet whisper of your voice.

‘Hey Carmen, uh it’s me…Baby. Not sure why I introduced myself. I'm sure you know it’s me.” Carmy let out a watery chuckle at the sound of your voice, even if he hadn't saved your number the delicate timber of your voice would’ve been enough for him.

“Listen uh, I got your number for Pete. I hope you don’t mind, I know you have issues with girls actually having your number…Sorry, that was actually kind of rude. Anyway, I uh…Pete helped put things in perspective for me and I, I think we need to talk Carmen. I’m not sure when or if you even want that, but I think we both deserve a chance to explain our side of things. I um…I also have some things I think you should know. Just, if this is something you’re interested in, you have my number.” Carmen felt his heart rate slow down your words, nothing more than a piece offering.

“I just want to be clear though, um..if I don’t hear back from you, I’m going to take that as a sign. So yeah, call me back or something I guess.” The line finally went silent, your voice no longer caressing Carmy’s ears.

It felt like he was having heart palpitations but he knew it was just his nerves getting the best of him. He pulled the phone away from his ear, the time on his phone reading 5:30 p.m. Carmy quickly opened the group chat scrolling through to find your address and open it up in maps. You lived about 30 minutes from where he was, he was confident he could get there in 20 and spare the 10 minutes at a store near you.

Carmen made his decision as he set his phone down in the cup holder before beginning his journey. The ball was in his court, you had given him an olive branch and it was up to him whether he accepted it or not. He was nervous, maybe showing up at your house to cook you dinner wasn’t his most thought-out plan but he needed you desperately, needed to see you, be in your presence, and know that there was still a chance of something more between the two of you.

The hope Carmy felt when he saw you calling him earlier was now back tenfold: the pendant delicately resting against his chest felt warm. Carmen was adamant that he would admit his love for you tonight, unsure if he could go another day living with the fact that you were in love with him, but you still didn’t know just how much he had always loved you. You were so blissfully unaware that since he could remember, you had been the one and only option in his mind.

a/n: wowza, long time no see. i apologize that this is a bit of a filler chapter but it felt kinda necessary idk. anway please let me know if there are any problems with this chapter it's barely edited. enjoy : )

also also: both richard cabral as coco in mayans and manny montana as rio in good girls inspired cortez the sponsor, but head canon him as whoever you want…okay bye now 🤍

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy x reader #carmy the bear #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto x you #the bear x reader #the bear fic #all i ever knew only you ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

[ammonitetheartist]

Ehehe- ehheehheeh- ehehEGHEHEGEHAHASHGEH

Continuation of Welcome to Paradise? In this economy? It’s more likely than you think :D

This takes place about… a few hours? after Uzi enters the mindscape

Ouughhh neither of them are having a good time ambxbckdisia BUT. there’s hope :3

This has been in the works for. a WHILE oughghh… I think it was like. a week, maybe less, after I posted the first one that a good chunk of the dialogue for this one just kinda came to me (v late at night)

[Image ID: A comic featuring catified designs of Uzi and Cyn from Murder Drones. It has a dark, mottled yellow-green background with faint, pale yellow polygons of varying sizes. In addition, both Cyn and Uzi’s designs in this mindspace become solid color, with colored lineart. Cyn’s text is yellow and Uzi’s is purple.

The first drawing shows the first two panels of the comic, the second panel in which Uzi and Cyn are shown, with Uzi pointing up at the surrounding mindscape. She says ‘Listen, I haven’t been with you in this…’ ‘…white - green - void, whatever this place is, for long, but -’.

The third panel shows Uzi up closer, with a tired, somewhat tired expression. She says ‘You don’t want that… thing to have its way any more than I do-’ ‘-do you?’

The fourth panel shows both Uzi and Cyn, facing each other. Cyn asks ‘Are you suggesting we have a choice?’ Uzi responds ‘I’m suggesting we get us a choice!’

The fifth panel shows Cyn standing in the middle. Uzi (offscreen) continues ‘Or- however many we need!’ Cyn interjects ‘Uzi, why would-’

The sixth panel shows both Uzi and Cyn. Uzi has an anguished expression on her face as she shoots back, her voice breaking, ‘No- I don’t care how long it takes, I-I don’t care how far gone you think we are - I will find a way out of here!’

The seventh panel shows Uzi from an angle slightly behind her, grabbing one of the floating polygons as she continues ‘Even if I have to fight through you to get there, and even if I have to drag you along with me!’

The eighth panel shows Cyn sitting back, a startled expression on her face. Uzi (offscreen) pauses, muddling over what she’ll say next (represented by an ellipsis).

The eighth drawing shows the ninth and tenth panels, which show Uzi, wearing a thoroughly tired expression in the tenth. She sighs, then says ‘I am not going to just - sit here while some nightmarish demon virus gets to wreck everyone I care about.’

The eleventh panel shows Cyn sitting, from an angle that has her facing the viewer. Uzi (offscreen) continues ‘And… if there’s even the slightest chance you feel the same way, then…’

The twelfth and final panel shows Uzi standing, from an angle that has her facing the viewer. She has a weary but determined expression on her face, and she holds one paw out as if to initiate a handshake. She continues ‘…humor me, Cyn.’ ‘And help me burn this thing to the ground.’ End ID]

#murder drones #murder drones uzi #uzi doorman #murder drones cyn #md cyn #murder drones comic #md comic

[muzaktomyears]

Mimi's views on Cynthia:

(...) [Mimi] told me how strict John was with Julian, especially at meals. If he didn’t behave, or refused to eat something on his plate, John would have none of it and would pick him up and put him to bed in the back bedroom. Just for the record, Mimi thought it all a bit harsh but John refused to put up with bad manners. She, of course, blamed any bad manners that Julian had on Cyn, since she was with the boy 99% of the time. Mimi said his eating habits were atrocious, all sodas and candy. Not surprising, also Cyn’s fault.

---

Mimi had never really been fond of Cynthia. She felt she had chased John throughout the years, and had purposely gotten herself pregnant in order to “trick him” into marrying her. But more than Cynthia, she disliked Cynthia’s mother. Mrs. Powell was “pushy” and had to be involved in everything, according to Mimi. Even the last time we discussed the subject, she insisted that the marriage might have lasted if John and Cyn could have lived alone without her mother constantly being there. John eventually had enough and purchased a small cottage for her not far from Kenwood but Mrs. Powell insisted on spending her time at the house where she could better enjoy John’s money.

---

She told of the Art School days and the many times Cynthia would walk by the house in Woolton, hoping to see John while he would be upstairs hiding. She insisted Cyn had chased after him and had even asked Mimi for permission to marry him, when John was just 20 and would need a parent or guardian to sign for him. Mimi refused. When John did finally admit to her that Cynthia was pregnant and they would be marrying, Mimi gave it to him with both barrels. How could Cynthia know she was pregnant to soon? She would hardly be a month along. Where did they expect to live? How did he think he could support a family? On and on it went until John stormed out.

Mimi had no intention of attending the wedding and neither did anyone else in the family. The night before the wedding, John came to her in tears. He didn’t want to get married. He was too young. He had to find a way out. But even then she had no sympathy for him. He’d laid in his bed and now he had to make it.

---

(...) She did actually feel sorry for Cynthia living in the big house, more or less alone, she said. And when John wasn’t touring, he’d be working in the studio and come home exhausted. Cyn, on the other hand, wanted to go out and Mimi said she would often come downstairs dressed to the nines, looking quite lovely, and hoping for an evening on the town but John would be too tired.

Mimi warned him that he had to be more attentive to his wife.

---

[1975:]

She’d received a letter from a fan who had been visiting Cyn. “Well, she [the fan] indicated that Cyn didn’t want her address known. [She] knew but couldn’t tell me as, more or less, it was private. It irritated me. There’s no need for anyone connected with the Beatles to hide; one never hears of them, only an occasional mention. So she is quite safe. What an irritating letter to write. She could see Cyn had had her share of worry, etc. And [she] feels so bad that I don’t see Julian and no wonder Cyn wants seclusion in this world. Really such rubbish! It’s entirely Cyn’s own fault. Seclusion! Bah!”

---

[a letter dated 19th June, 1981:]

“7p.m. last night the phone went, I was half expecting an American voice, but no – It was definitely a L’pool voice. Slightly, but L’pool anyway. I knew it was not my family, we all have the similar voice. I kept saying who? Who? Who are you? Then I nearly dropped dead (kidding). The voice said ‘It’s Cyn’. I could hardly believe it. She started to tell me about Twist, marriage finished, he’d had 3 affairs, one after another. Apart from that I don’t know what the call was for. So taken aback that ME, Mimi, didn’t say anything. She would come down, see me, etc. etc. and – I’m not much wiser. Since then I’ve been so puzzled, wondering why she phoned me. I didn’t even get her phone no., or address, and no idea how to get it unless I try enquiries. She may not be under Twist… I wouldn’t put it past her to use Lennon. Think I’ll try. I want to ask her why she phoned, any reason especially. Can there be any motive? She’s determined to keep in the news one way or another. It’s puzzling, but I would not be any use to her.

“I know Cyn says she wants to hide away. God knows why. All the time she gets in touch with the press…I know she does not like [fans] and until I picked all the fan letters out of the dustbin and answered them, every fan letter was destroyed. So I answered which infuriated her, but I didn’t care. The girls got an answer. John knew nothing about it.”

(...)“Just talking to Anne [Mimi's sister]. She said ‘don’t bother finding where Cyn is. There’s some motive why she phoned after all these years. She could have phoned in Dec. And why these undying declarations of great love for John.’ If that was so, why chase the Italian, who by the way is totally ignored. She’s had 2 husbands since John. Anne feels there is money in it. Some funny business going on. I’m not interested in any money. It’s bad enough he’s gone.

“It’s not a good example to Julian to encourage him to go into pubs. He does not impress me at all. Seems lazy and aimless trying to cash in on his father’s image. John said he had no brain. Sounds as though he was right. Cyn should direct him to doing something instead of hanging around doing absolutely nothing. She trying to be the same age in outlook. It can’t be done. She’s to blame for him being aimless, but there’s no time for children when you’re looking for new husbands, and looking for a good time.”

---

We got into one of our first disagreements that night [during her 1981 visit to Mimi's house]. Talking about John and his divorce from Cynthia, she mentioned that Cyn hadn’t deserved the money he’d been forced to give her as a settlement. I believe the figure we were discussing was £150,000 and she thought that was far too much. I tried to explain that considering she’d been there from the beginning and through the lion’s share of Beatlemania, she deserved a far greater portion of his income than that. Nope. Cyn had cheated on John first, Mimi reasoned, so it wasn’t as if she’d won the pools. That was a familiar argument and I realized she was using John’s argument, almost word for word.

That’s the night she told me how John had come down to see her, and “sitting right in that chair” had told her that he had found out that Cynthia had been cheating on him with “the Italian” and he had literally cried when he said he was getting a divorce. To this day, I have no idea who cheated on whom first, but I eventually held my tongue and the £150,000 settlement dispute was eventually forgotten; at least for the time being.

---

Marie had been to Beatlefest in New York. She had phoned me while there to inform me that Cynthia was there selling copies of her art from her first book. I think this might have been the first of several trips to Beatlefest for Cyn. (…)

The only thing I remember is she called to tell me that she told Cyn that she knew the former president of the Cyn Lennon Beatle Club and did Cyn think she might ever go to Minnesota?

As I recall it, Cyn replied “Why would I ever go to Minnesota?” Well, why, indeed. Unless, of course, she wanted to continue to sell copies of old lithographs at $30 a pop.

Needless to say, Mimi didn’t take the news well at all.

“[Marie] nearly fell over herself telling me about Cyn selling at a Beatlefest or whatever you call those things. I couldn’t believe it! Whatever is she thinking?!!... It’s incredible, undignified, and degrading, to me anyway but then I’m not trying to cash in or seeking publicity. If I had been a cast off wife or mistress I think I would have kept quiet and out of sight especially with two husbands still hanging around somewhere. I’d laugh my head off if they decided to cash in as well. Heaven knows there’s no knowing what people will do for money. And they have a story as well….. Kathy, I’m half sorry for Cyn. I wonder how and what prompted her to leave herself open to criticism and remarks by people. I phoned my sister and Liela… they say she’s desperate for notice, and what’s more likely looking for another—er—husband over there. That’s the most likely place .What do you bet? Altho I hope she won’t be so silly. I don’t think she can help it. We’ll see. She could not have sold all those drawings at the exhibition, or perhaps she did more for the Beatlefest…I never saw anything arty she ever did, so have no idea…”

[A letter dated 26th October, 81:]

“I was sorry to hear Cyn was renting a table to sell things. How could she do such a thing! Joining that jamboree. It’s bound to cause some unfavourable comments. As to why, apart from the obvious. Here’s the latest rolling in millions and the first, 14 years almost after the divorce, and two further husbands (still about somewhere) renting a table to sell things – I really am sorry she did it. She was a very wealthy woman. I hope she’s still got some of it left. It makes one think she’s cashing in on the Lennon name for money. Perhaps I’m too old fashioned. Your note may have cheered her up for I can’t think she was very happy standing there, money or no money. It makes me cringe… Whatever Cyn may say I think she’s lonely and realises she was a fool… to be photographed with May Pang and I hear staying with her (if it’s true) well, it’s rock bottom. I hope she made some money to compensate her for what I think was an undignified escapade. Of course it’s only my opinion. I may be entirely wrong altogether. Better if I am wrong.”

The Guitar’s All Right as a Hobby, John, Kathy Burns (2014)

#mimi smith #cynthia lennon #a lot here #some very mimi-ish opinions #interesting because the author of the book founded the cynthia lennon fanclub and that's how she got to first meet mimi!

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Lmfao N says fuck fic how original

[SNAP]

"So, N..." Uzi sits down on her Spinny Chair Of Genius™, as she likes to call it, as N sits on a beanbag. "Since i am your new apparent admin, this means i have some form of control over you and V, yeah?"

"I guess?" N shrugs "I mean- i don't know, i'm not the human that made me, i don't know my inner workings..."

He suddenly has a small thought start to grow in his head, and immediately lets it slip out of curiosity. "Wh- what are you trying to do?? Are you gonna look through my settings..?" He scratches his head in a bashful manner, blushy as it's literally some very delicate and probably private stuff.

Uzi grins like the absolute gremlin she is, sharp teeth shining like the blade of a knife, as she fidgets with her fingers at the most chaotic thought she's had so far. Key word being: so far.

"I'm just gonna make a test, nothing harmful~" She giggles. N looks at Uzi with a metaphorical drop of sweat running down his visor as he thinks of the times Cyn giggled back in the mansion. She definetly made giggles way less scary than Uzi's.

Next day...

It started with Uzi's alarm going off. She slaps her own visor, turning it off, and promptly gets up. N seems to be deep in his sleep... Wonder what he's dreaming about? She kinda hopes it's her, but it's not something she'll reveal to any one schmuck at ALL, so thank me later.

i don't want to kill you. i don't want to kill anymore. i need you. don't go. don't leave me. please. i don't want to kill you. the universe is at risk. i can't lose more people in my life. i have to protect the universe. but you are my universe. please. no. don't go. please. i love you. i'm sorry.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDDISASSEMBLYREQUIREDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

M1S5 M3? :)

"N!!" He wakes up screaming, startling Uzi who's sitting conviniently really close and in front of him. On top of his lap. Like in those bits in movies where the love interest is uncomfortably close to the main character. Like that. Yeah.

"Hi Uziii...??" N whispers in bashful surprise as she processes the situation. Okay so i'm sitting here right in front of him and he just woke up and sat up really close to my face it's looking like something else is gonna happen and oh my robo-god i am going to fuckin' pass out hhhhh-

"aaaaaooOKAYWEGOTTAGOORELSEWERELATETOTHEFUCKINGSCHOOLSHITAAAA" N yelps Uzi pushes him away by the face in a rush. N gets back up to yell (but like- not angry or anything, more like yelling so she hears him clearly) "Language! Your dad's around, you know?? It's why i say"biscuits" instead, i don't wanna be rude!". It's a long pause of silence as he thinks, realizing... "How can you even swear at all by the way???"

It started with a horrible, terrifying, traumatic, very lore heavy nightmare along with a scare and rush to school. This day is certainly not gonna go all too well and i am here for it he's boutta SNAP lol.

Next it was Lizzy doing her usual popular girl spoiled brat bullshit, and N cannot kill her because murder as a whole is wrong and it's no solution to anything at all. Uzi knows this and it bothers her so much more than i can describe.

Next was the teacher being this smug idiot doing whatever, giving the class a dumb thing to do without caring about anything, only looking through his phone either busy with other work or straight up messing around. Uzi and N are very much bothered by this and Uzi wants to speak up... Which she does. To no avail, as the teacher ran out of fucks to give. N just tolerates and tries to lighten up the mood by being his friendly self (got a dude and a chick head over heels for him and he doesn't realize, thinks they're just extra friendly), but it's mostly very little effect. All because he doesn't wanna be rude. It's gonna get real soon enough though.

Next was the discrimation towards N, as he is a Disassembly Drone and they're pretty scared of him... Well at least it's not ALL of them, some are very much enjoying his presence. Why that is i'll tell you in the dms because i don't think i can say it here lmfao.

Next was the teasing. Yes some drones in the school figured out the whole Nuzi shebang and are now teasing them about it. "Hey purple girl, how's the biting like?", "How does your murder buddy kiss? I'm just curious~", "How's it like living with a small girl like her? Bet she likes it when you pick her up~", "N you are so much better than her, there's that other murderous girl out there that killed Doll's parents, she seems right up your ally!", and it just doesn't stop. Ever. N is genuinely bothered by this, he's very uncomfortable.

Inconvience after inconvience, minor and major, impactful and not, it just doesn't friggin' STOP.

Luckily that's all there is, they're going home! Albeit not very happy but they're going to their comfortable space of a home nonetheless!

But i did say he's gonna snap at some point.

"Uzi, have you seen my glasses? I gotta read something important" Says Khan, not actually needing glasses as he's a robot, he can see just fine, but everyone in Copper 9 is all mimicking humans so Khan doesn't realize that and needs glasses anyway.

"I'm getting them, Mr. Uzi!" N chirps, happy to help like all the time, as he jumps up from his seat and walks around, looking for Khan's glasses. "Thanks, Uzi's very lucky to have you as this potential boyfriend!" Uzi lets out a very UNHOLY screech of embarrassment as she yells "HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND". N does sigh at this, but he's too busy looking for Khan's glasses to care.

"Ooh! There you are!" N whips out a pair of glasses from inside... Uzi's wardrobe?? Does she prank him often??? Anywho, he found the glasses!

"I got 'em Mr. Uzi!! I found them in Uzi's wardrobe which is very weird and raises a few questions but i found them nonetheless!!" Khan processes the statement and wheezes as a response.

"What? What's funny??" N is very confused. Khan chuckles as he pats N in the back, "What just happened while i was sleeping was that Uzi just hid them away as a prank of sorts, she's very mischievous!" He's giggling as he explains, and so does N because come on it's funny how could he not?

Oh and N drops the glasses in his giggle fit. Resulting in them breaking upon landing. They stop laughing as they notice this.

N's eye twitches as his hands vibrate.

"N it's okay, i'll just get new ones-" says Khan, immediately interrupted by the next paragraph under this one

"MOTHERFUCKER!!!"

Khan is startled and frozen up in shock. Uzi heard that from the other room and is also shocked. If there were birds in Copper 9 they would fly away in flocks.

"Are you- are you okay-" Khan's interrupted again. "NO I'M NOT OKAY SHIT JUST KEPT HAPPENING AND I'M FUCKING PISSED ABOUT THAT AND BECAUSE I COULDN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. SON OF A BITCH THEY KEPT ON TEASING ME AND BEING WEIRD AROUND ME AND OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY CAN'T I JUST BE TREATED LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING DRONE?!?!?!"

Khan is frozen in shock as Uzi silently giggles to herself from the other room. "It worked! I turned off his filter holy shit it worked eheheheheee!"

"I'M... I'm going outside for a breather, be right fuckin' back" N storms out through the front entrance, as Khan holds a hand out trying to stop him, "it's sunny outside, careful-" but it was too late.

"FUUCK!!" And so N storms right back in, with burns on his casing, "I'm going to Uzi's room then"

"I DID IT!!" Uzi whisper-yells to herself. Somehow.

Twas a very loud and messy day, hope you enjoyed this lmao

#murder drones #serial designation n #uzi doorman #nuzi #khan doorman #lizzy murder drones #tw swearing #like a LOT it's really scary #spooker's writing #also yeup lotta Nuzi in there lol it's fucking adorable and funny as hell haha

[ilovedig]

Hi there, you said a while ago you were open to questions about your fan fic writing.

I saw you mention a couple of times that you like unusual or 'rare' pairings within the Beatles space, both as a reader and as a writer. Would you like to elaborate on why that is? And: do you have (a) favorite(s)?

Hi! Thanks for the question!

I'm sitting here writing and deleting figuring out the best way to word this.

In everything I do I take "the path least traveled" as it were. I like going down research rabbit holes that most people haven't. I think that might be part of it.

I also think that too much stock is put into John and Paul, and it reduces them to two-dimensional in a lot of ways. There was so much more to both of them than their feelings for each other, and I love finding that.

I never understand how people can look at Ringo and just decide he has "straight vibes"

Or hear that Jurgen had a crush on George and not think that maybe it was requited.

Read that Ian James and Paul bought matching silverflecked jackets and danced around listening to elvis and not wonder if it was slow dancing

Learn about how Ringo and Johnny Guitar shared a tiny chalet in the Butlins and not go in search for more info.

I want to know everything there is to know and I feel like "rare pairs" get me all the closer. And it makes me sad that they're rare cause they were possible relationships too. I know rare means not talked about as much but it so often feels like it means less likely to exist, which again is so strange to say about people we don't and never will know.

As for my favorites....

Icke Braun and Paul is a big one. Icke is just so anxious and there are many times that I wonder if he wasn't, if he had had the courage to see Paul in the 80s, if they would have rekindled something.

Denny Laine, Linda and Paul is one of my favorites as well. Just the loving throuple of it all.

George and Dylan aren't really a rare pair but they aren't talked about nearly enough for how almost confirmed they are.

Paul and George is probably my favorite pairing of the four boys, though Paul and Ringo is a close second.

Johnny Guitar and Ringo are also a big one.

And I forgot the girls. I'd love fics about Dot and Cyn, there's quite a lot to suggest something happened while the boys were in Hamburg.

Or, now that I've seen May Pang's movie, her and Cyn would be great too.

Certain photos of George and Paul and Jane together make me think about them quite a lot.

Oh George and Eric Idle needs more love.

I could go on and on, I think the less people write about it, the more I want to know, the more I want to read.

I'm sure I'm not alone in that, but I don't know too many people who feel the same way, though, I've found some, you included.

Thanks again for the question!

#ask #rare pair #beatles #mclaine #dylison #mcharrison #guitarstarr #dot x cyn #May x cyn #Harridle

[starrynightmoonlight]

THE ALMIGHTY CYNTHIA’S NB HEADCANON*

*This is simply my theory and opinion as a trans-masc non-binary person. Take it or shove it as Cyn would say! This post will also likely keep growing as the show goes on / I find more evidence so keep checking back! 

There’s the obvious fact that Cynthia is clearly more comfortable in masculine clothing than feminine. Fun fashion note, Cynthia is seen wearing pants whenever possible. However, what I find interesting about Cynthia’s fashion is how they balance having to wear dresses and skirts at school with their more masculine personality. Now part of that is adding more masculine elements like their shoes and even their Pink Ladies jacket, but many of them simply come from their masculine energy. Does anyone else notice in episode one that they carry a comb in their sock (Ep 1, 29:18)?

Now onto the less obvious stuff! Starting off strong with Gil in episode two asking Cynthia why they “can’t act like a normal girl.” Cynthia is clearly deeply hurt by this comment BUT where this becomes interesting is that later in the episode Cynthia opposes the use of the word “girls” but accepts “ladies” and thus the Pink Ladies are born. Cynthia also opposed pink but later accepts it.  Cynthia is seen during the song "A World without Boys" so they clearly aren't fully denouncing their place with the girls. Perhaps Cynthia is seeking to control what they can? 

In episode six, Cynthia is seen wearing a dress at school, BUT in episode five, they say “I need help with my lines for this stupid play! They’ve already got me wearing a dress. I don’t want to give them another reason to laugh at me.” Here’s important to note the differences between Cynthia’s dress and the dress we see Hazel wear for the play. One is clearly a more feminine style and material.  

See Cynthia on the left versus Hazel (pardon the gifs, this show is new so I work with what I can get!) 

Also in episode six, Cynthia uses periods to deflect from their anxiety about the play. Hmm I wonder what other characters are commonly emotionally unavailable (hint: it's the T-birds.) I also would like to see more about how Cynthia feels about the more personal aspects of their gender.

Finally (for now) I think it’s important to note that for me Cynthia is non-binary rather than trans-masc as they reject both female and male gender roles (HEADCANONS ARE PERSONAL). We see them reject being a T-bird in episode 9 but we also see their hesitation to fully align with the Pink Ladies. We see them struggle with femininity in episode 8 in an attempt to conform to heterosexual relationships. Cynthia seems to struggle with being too far on either side of the gender binary and finds comfort in the middle.  

Alright, thank you for reading my queer mess! Remember to vote pink! 

#cynthia rotpl #rotplheadcanon #rotpl #rise of the pink ladies #grease rise of the pink ladies #grease #nonbinary #headcanon #cynthia zdunowski

[theimperials1]

Afterparty.

She walked past the storage room when she heard the crying. Tessa didn't knew what exactly to expect, in fact, she even felt somewhat scared for suddenly hear such a sound coming from a room on which not even the drones got in, yet, her curiosity, one of the many qualities alongside robotics, got the best of her.

She went through the threshold, pushing just slightly open the door to gain access, she kept hearing the crying, and as she entered the room, she started to recognize tiny bits of the incoherent mumbling that composed the cries. She then realized it, she had not seen Cyn a while after the party had begun, and now that it had concluded, she thought she had probably gone to the servant quarters...what was she doing here? Had her parents...?

"C-c-crying." One of her announced actions simply made the human rush a bit, careful to not scare her with the sudden presence Tessa had on the room, Cyn's voice was glitching badly, and she could hear how she sobbing "Cc-c-r-iyingggggg-" She heard an small static as her voice went on repeat for a few seconds before she stopped and the sobbing resumed.

The human only rushed as a result of that. Tessa moved through the boxes and other objects around the room in an almost blind state due to the lack of illumination. She reached the drone faster than she thought for her weeping was echoing through the place. Cyn was sitting over a box near one of the few windows, the little light of her visor, and the occasional flashes of lightning coming from outside being what gave certainty of her location.

"Cyn...?" The human leaned into one of the cloth-covered old furniture as she gained the strength to disrupt her cries "What are ya doing here?"

Oh, how could have Cyn begged for her to leave, she expected that as soon as she made her presence known, yet, instead, the weeping became slightly less as she, tilting her head oddly and turning towards her, offered a face that was showing a lot of distress, if her shaking frame was anything to go by.

"I...whispering" Cyn's hands went to her own knees, gripping them hard "Hmm...uncomfortable-sad-" The voice-box of the drone was failing at even pronouncing her own emotions "F-f-frown..."

It didn't at that, yet, that frown made in company of oil tears that were flowing through her cheeks, alongside some sniffles.

"Cyn..." Tessa's face went from simple worry and curiosity to absolute concern as she approached the drone sitting on the box, it was wide and firm enough so she took the seat right beside her, albeit, of course, sitting a few centimeters far from her, not wanting to trigger her nerves further "What's wrong?" She asked, on the same tone of voice she used always to calm down any of her mechanic friends, almost a whisper, yet kind and firm enough for it to be a question.

"Deeping Frown. P-p-arty-" Cyn kept a steady attention at Tessa's movements as she sat beside her, her shaking frame and glitching voice uttered that a she grew only slightly more nervous from the so-close presence."Sa--s-ssad face. C-c-rinying-. Didn't like- Too-hhhumans---m--many--humans-"

"Oh..." The young Elliot squeaked as she heard that, another strike of lightning came through the window, following some thunder, the walls crackling as the sound waves went through them "Oh, Cyn...you could have told me..."

It wasn't a lecture, of course, as it was said with the adequate tone of sweetness for it to remain comforting, specially as she dared approach her hand and start giving the scared drone some rubs on the back.

"I certainly could have get you to work on the kitchen, but don't worry, it's fine~" Tessa showed her more maternal and mature side, for one of her friends needed her the most "You are okay, and everything will be okay, y'know?"

"Doubting crying face. I-i-t will b--b-be?" The doubt on her optics was more than obvious "Hesitation. H-how?"

Tessa cracked an smile and halting the hug, she moved towards the drone, now more confident. And, slowly, allowed her arms to wrap Cyn in a hug, catching by surprise.

"Because I'm here~ and now you are safe~" She says, easing her into hug "I know this kind of reunions can be overwhelming for you, but i will always be here to comfort you if it gets too much for you, okay?"

"..." Cyn's inner fans where whirling a bit intensively as her feelings started to shift, her body had grew rigid as she felt the warm from Tessa's hug enveloping her, yet, as the seconds crawled by, and as she realized how much she had needed the hug, she started to relax, her own arms wrapping around the human in response, she was making some non-sense rambles in response to the affection, meaningless words that just responded to the comfort she was getting from Tessa.

"Hmmm~ hmm...-c-comfortabl--e-e-" She hides her face on Tessa's chest as she squeezes her a bit. an smile starting to appear on her lips, and that is noticeable on her tone, despite her face being hidden.

Tessa held her there, they were going to be here for a good while, but it would be worth it, even all the punishments her parents could give, were worth it if Cyn was happy, she kissed the drone's hair and let her chin rest on the top of her head, making sure to be as protective of her as possible.

Outside, the storm started giving way to a softer rain which was trickling down the glass of the window.

++++

Hoping this small fic was to your liking.

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Check my Carrd, too! (If you want to get a fic like this, or something more complex, check pinned on my Twitter/X)

#murder drones #mini-fic #fanfic #md #writing #murder drones cyn #murder drones tessa

[girlreviews]

Review #184: She’s So Unusual, Cyndi Lauper

You’re receiving a fair warning right at the outset: there are going to be no less than two references to The Simpsons in this review – possibly more -- and I’m not even a little bit sorry about it.

I think that Cyndi Lauper is one of the very first female artists I ever knew the name of and recognized, and knew her record from start to finish. I don’t think it was this one. I believe it was a compilation CD called Twelve Deadly Cyns… And Then Some, that had a really striking image of her with bright yellow hair and a bright red hat. It had all of the major hits from this album, and the next few, as well as the most interesting remix of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun that was done by the guys from Redbone, and was very much my first introduction to the bassline from Come And Get Your Love. That shit worked.

Anyway, I wish that every three-year-old girl got to hear Cyndi Lauper like this because she’s fucking iconic. Powerhouse voice. Uninhibited. Artist. Creative genius. A girl’s girl and a woman’s woman. I’d love to get drunk with her and play a round of cards. I bet she’s been treated like a child while navigating this industry. I just feel it in my bones and guts. Because of the earnest, girlish, sincere, whimsical music she’s making, as well as her unapologetic cute and girly aesthetic and small frame. But she’s always demanded to be taken seriously. She’s the inspiration I’ve carried around as an experienced professional in my field: I can have a bubble tea pencil case with a smiley face on it, and cute stationary, and a notepad with a bird on it, and a cute haircut and fun outfits. It doesn’t mean I’m childish, or any less good at my job, and I will rip you a new asshole if you fucking cross me or any of my employees, cool? Do not be fooled by the enamel pins on my jacket. I could stab you with them if I wanted. I just don’t, that’s all.

My notes: Money Changes Everything, which it does, has a harmonica solo in it, and I think we all need to take a moment and bow down to the boldness of that. How many harmonica solos do we hear outside something like Bob Dylan? It’s pretty few and far between and it’s really fucking great in this song. Every single track on this album is deep, fun, and interesting. And some of them have harmonica solos! When I was a doofy little teen, I used to have a necklace with a tiny harmonica on it. It was ugly as could be, but it was pretty cool. I recently started looking into whether there were any cute, adult versions of it. There are. And I am once again inspired by Saint Cyndi to be cute, functional, and badass.

I’m going to save Girls Just Wanna Have Fun for last because I have so much to say about it. So next up will be Time After Time, which to be honest is every bit as iconic. Genuinely. It’s absolutely beautiful. Stunning. Moving. How does one write a song so incredibly poignant and dedicated to someone? Can anybody listen to this synth ballad and not just feel their heart plunge into it? Maybe they can. Maybe they’re a monster. Not a Simpsons reference, but to illustrate my point: even April Ludgate, known to be cold-hearted and dead inside, can’t resist the pull of this song.

She Bop is one of my favorites. I think I loved it when I was really tiny. It makes sense that I would have. I loved nonsense. I still love nonsense. It’s a lot of nonsense (Oop, she bop, she bop, she bop, he bop, we bop, I bop, you bop, they bop, be bop, a lu bop), but it’s positioned over some very serious-sounding synths and electric drums. That’s my exact shit and always has been. There’s a good chance Cyndi Lauper and this song are largely responsible for my entire persona, in hindsight. That’s fine with me. I think this song is about bad boys and having crushes on them (hey, hey they say I better get a chaperone, because I can’t stop messin’ with the danger zone). Cyndi Lauper has always been completely about her uninhibited noises. Woops, and breaths, and squeaks, and squawks. They’re amazing, and they add absolutely everything to the experience. Simpsons reference #1 coming up here. They made it the butt of the joke, but I loved it. Cyndi Laupi (yes, Laupi), singing the National Anthem at a baseball game, with all that breathy, squeaky, baritone nonsense. Absolutely fucking hilarious. Also the way in which I mostly learned the words to the National Anthem (you try knowing it when you grew up in Europe? I do not accept your judgment, and frankly I’m still pretty shaky on the words and I don’t care).

Every track on this album slaps, and you should listen to it, but it is one of those where you kind of have to focus on the singles/iconic tracks because they are iconic for a reason. So here we go. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. I want to say that this song is so happy and upbeat and means everything to every girl and woman that knows it, which, is like, all of them, ever, and if it isn’t, it should be. However. There’s also a sad undertone to it, or at least I have always felt one. It’s always just tugged at my heart a little bit. I actually have no idea whether that’s just me or whether that’s a universal experience. It’s like a gentle feminist wish. She’s singing about oppressive experiences — from parents, from partners, from society:

“Oh Mama dear, we’re not the fortunate ones”

“Oh Daddy dear, you know you’re still number one”

“Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world”

It genuinely hurts my feelings. I’m not sure a song has ever so captured the simplicity of experience. Just trying to exist. Just trying to walk in the sun. Just trying to go home and chill after work, and for some reason, it’s just hard to do. But, in singing it, she’s fulfilling the wish, because she’s having fucking fun. It’s fun. I don’t know man, that’s really cool. I love this song. But it’s way deeper than I imagine a lot of people have ever given her credit for. I imagine to a lot of people, it’s just a silly little party song. But it’s not. And if you want to fight with me about that, I’ll get my cute enamel pins ready. Here’s Homer Simpson singing it, which I have always found extremely endearing. Do you think it’s lost on him? Probably. That’s sort of what’s endearing about it.

#album review #music #music review #rolling stone top 500 #cyndi lauper #she’s so unusual #the simpsons #parks and rec

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 23. brb x oc

(ill just repeat gifs guys)

a/n: I GOT MY NEW KEYBOARD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA yes YESSS yes ok yes. we're back in business guys. Also I kinda worked a little bit on Rooster's past??? Just tiny things really.

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff ,Rooster being horny (do i even need to tag this anymore) and supportive.

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21

-

 “He said yes?”

“He did!” Beatrice says with the phone on her ear, holding it up with a shoulder as she folds her laundry, “Didn’t even hesitate.”

“Huh…I mean, you did tell him he’d be like fresh blood on shark infested waters right?”

“Yes, Leo, I made that very clear.”

Her brother on the other end ‘huh’ed again, the sound of kitchen utensils being washed in the background, “Brave man. I get freaked out sometimes and it's my family too…did you just call me to tell me that?”

“Kind of,” Beatrice changes ears while propping the laundry basket to her hip bone, “I just wanted to ask you when we get there, to let him in on some info, who to not talk to.”

“Like the Bitch Trio?” while she wouldn’t call her cousins that, Leonardo wouldn’t be wrong, “Those would be the first ones he should avoid.”

“I don’t get why people keep inviting them.” the brunette huffed, walking up the steps to the loft area, Jolene following her right behind, just waiting for her to drop the laundry basket so she could hop inside and enjoy the warmth.

“‘Cause they are family, which is some bullshit. Everyone knows they love starting drama. Especially Melinda,” he makes a disgusted noise, “I swear, aunt Martha is just too nice, I would never invite them to any celebration.”

Beatrice chuckles, kneeling to the floor with the basket by her side, giving Jolene a sigh when she hopped inside immediately. Instead of pushing her off, she just scratched the top of her head as the pittie got comfortable, “I wouldn’t either. Is there anyone else you think he should be careful with?”

“Oh, oof, man…I think everyone pretty much is a huge warning sign before they meet him for real. I do think uncle Roberto will like him, maybe even uncle Elia.”

“Uncle Eli is coming??? He never joins celebrations.”

“The wedding thank you gifts are expensive wine bottles, Little Bitty. Do you really think he wouldn’t come?”

“You got a point.” she says, gently tapping Jolene’s butt so she could move and Beatrice finally could put her clothes in the armoire “Do you think he’s going to try and sing on stage, pushing the actual singer off?”

“Oh absolutely, he is the reincarnation of Louis Prima after all. With aunt Sonia following behind as his backing vocals.”

“Jesus.”

Leonardo laughs on the other end, shutting the water off when he’s done washing dishes, “But, I dunno, I think it’ll be fine. Him saying yes is already a good sign.” his sister’s less than enthusiastic noise doesn’t stop him from speaking, “Hey, you guys will sit with us, I’ll help him out the best I can. Plus, having Bibi there will help with distraction.”

Beatrice smiles looking down at her folded laundry inside the drawer, “I guess you are right.”

“She’s very excited to be the flower girl,” he begins, “But even more because she thinks the vineyard will have frogs that she’ll try to bring home and scare the fuck out of Cyn.”

Beatrice chuckles softly, remembering the time Bianca grabbed a bunch of frogs and put them inside the little bag she was holding. When asked by her mother what it was, she just opened and Cynthia shrieked in fear, running away to hide inside the house while Leonardo had to tell Bibi to let the frogs go. There was a knock to her front door that made Jolene scramble to her paws, whining all the way down since she knew who’d be, “Leo, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you before the wedding, okay?”

“Sure Little Bitty, just a tip, you should come by during lunchtime ‘cause everyone will be too busy to notice any car coming to the hotel.”

“Oh,you are right, thanks Leo.”

“No problem, talk to you later.”

She finished the call, rushing down the staircase with her bare feet hitting the steps loudly, the smile already on her face before she even reached the door. Jolene’s whole body shook with excitement when Beatrice opened it, the pittie immediately greeted Rooster by jumping around him and standing on her hind legs with her paws on his stomach. Beatrice allowed him to pet the dog first, knowing Jolene would neve leave him be if he didn’t, then leaned up to kiss his lips when he stood to his full height. “Hey,” she whispers, giving him another peck, “How was the gym?”

“Fine.” he smiles, fixing the duffel bag on his shoulder as he enters, Beatrice closing the door behind him, “By the way, I found out your friend Evelyn’s last name.”

“Oh?”

“Yep, Simpson.” 

“Oh, oh yeah.” she smiles, oblivious as to why he seemed so elated on telling her that, “How did you find out?”

Rooster chuckles, “Well, yesterday Hangman tried to score up with her again right?” she nods, signaling she was still listening, “So he walks up with her through the base until he sees Cyclone, who’s a vice admiral and whose name is what? Beau Simpson. I wasn’t there but Nat was and she said that Hangman’s face lost all color when he figured out who her father really was.”

Beatrice blinked, walking into her kitchen with him following, “Oh…did that scare him off?” 

“I mean, he looked terrified according to Nat.” she hums, which in turn makes him look at her, “What?”

“Well…Evelyn’s main issue with Navy guys is how they’d always freak out once they met her dad, running away.” Maybe it was the hopeless romantic in her, but she felt the two of them could work out, “I guess, I don’t know, maybe if Jake really is interested in her he could show he had no issues with her father being who he is.”

Rooster blinks in silence, then a smile slowly spreads over his lips, “You are so cute.” he says, stepping closer to kiss her,  “But I’ve never seen Jake with a girl for more than twenty four hours, babe.”

“Maybe Evelyn is the change he needed.” she says it back, wrapping her arms around his neck while he does the same to her waist, he showered at the gym before coming so he smelled so fresh, “Would it be so weird?”

“Yes. It’s Hangman, Bea.” Rooster smiles at her little pout, rubbing the pad of his thumb on the plump flesh of her lower lip, “You are very sweet, but I don’t see Jake changing how he is just because of a woman.”

“I still think there’s a chance.” she murmurs, “If Jake wants to make the effort.” 

He sighs deeply, making a face, “I don’t think it’s possible but I also don’t want to talk about Hangman anymore,” he cups the back of her legs to pick her up and set her on the counter, pressing a trail of kisses down her jaw to her neck, “It’s weird when I’m trying to kiss you.”

She giggles, leaning her head back to give him more space, her hand dragging up from his nape to the top of his hair, nails dragging on his scalp. He moans quietly, pressing his hips to hers while her legs wrap around his waist, “Brad…” he hums, keeping his teeth and tongue on her skin, “I thought you said you were coming with me to buy Halloween candy for tonight. Remember?”

The pilot groaned on her neck, dropping his forehead against the skin, “I did, didn’t I?”

“If you don’t want to–”

“No I do, it’s just,” he inhales her lavender scent with a happy groan “You are just so sexy I can’t think straight.” he pulls back from her neck, after pressing a kiss right under her jaw for good measure, tugging her out of the counter.

She just blushed even harder, laughing softly at him, “We’ll be back before you know it.” she pecks his pouting lips, “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

-

“I haven’t eaten Halloween candy in years.” Rooster says, leaning his elbows on the back of the shopping cart while Beatrice was picking colorful bags of soft chewy candy, in her hands. Bradley followed the bag being dropped inside the cart with his eyes, picking it up for him to check what it was.

“Oh I used to sometimes.” she giggles, “Bibi liked to share hers with me. So I always had a little bit to myself.” Beatrice crouches down the aisle to pick another bag of candy, this one shaped like witches hats “Halloween was always a nice holiday for me.”

“Yeah?” he asks, not being able to keep the smile on his face when she nods, the movement shaking the french braid behind her head, “Was it your favorite holiday?”

“Christmas is my favorite, with Halloween in close second.” she walks forward a bit more, with Rooster following close behind, grabbing a few Nerds packets to drop inside too, “I loved dressing up for Halloween, it was always so fun.”

He smiles, pushing himself off the cart to step close to her, one of his hands touching her jeans clad hip as she struggled to reach a bag of cherry Twizzlers, easily grabbing a good amount in his hand, “I loved getting treats.” he says it while pressing a kiss to the edge of her jaw, making Beatrice smile and kiss him back quickly.

“We can’t make out in the middle of an aisle, Roos.” she whispers but still presses her lips to his once more.

“Why not? It’s not like I’ll…push you into a dark corner and just make sure you get out of breath just by kissing.”

“Roos!” the brunette giggles, pressing a hand on the middle of his chest, just to hold him back. “You’ll have to be patient.” he sighs, straightening himself before returning to his earlier position by the red handle, his lips pursing into a little pout. She smiles sweetly, going back on her quest to get as many candy types as she could, tossing a few Halloween toys in the cart as well. 

His smile however, only got bigger when he noticed how excited she got while getting treats for the trick or treaters. When he got to her place earlier that morning, he saw the front of her house adorned with several spooky decorations, including a pair of fake pumpkins that glowed from the inside and a ghost made out of fabric and a wire stabbed in between her flower pots. She did tell him this would be her first time getting trick or treaters at her house and she wanted them to have a good time.

Hence why she was so pumped on getting a variation of sweets, of toys and things she knew kids would love. While looking down to the slowly filling cart, Rooster couldn’t help but ask her “What’s your favorite?” she turns her head to him in question and he nods to the candy bags inside the cart “Halloween candy.”

“Oh!” Beatrice purses her lips, “I don’t know, I always liked Twizzlers, the cherry ones…and gummy bears and Butterfingers. What about you?”

Rooster hums, looking around the aisle to wrack his memory “I don’t know,anything with chocolate I guess.” he chuckles, “But I do like Butterfingers too…and Sour Patch Kids. I loved those, I liked beheading them.”

That makes a laugh sputter out of Beatrice’s mouth, dropping a few more bags inside the cart, “Weirdly cannibalistic but very cute.” she smiles, “I used to do the same too.” she looks down at her phone, peeking her tongue out while checking her notes, “I think we got pretty much everything…I already have the baggies at home, so!I think we are done here.”

“I think the kids will love it.”

“Yeah?”

“Hell yeah, look.” he spreads his arms over the cart, grinning up at her “If I was a kid getting treats, I’d go insane for all of this.” her smile makes his heart flip with happiness, her cheeks dusting with red over his compliments. God he loved it, he loved her…he still had to find a good time to say it, which he wanted badly, but it had to be the perfect time. Nothing to interrupt them, no one to ask them questions, just two people confessing to one another.

Yes, the perfect time. He hoped it would happen soon.

Beatrice slid her phone back into her back pocket, “I hope so…” she walks next to him as he leads the cart for her, “I can’t wait to see their costumes. Some kids can be very creative!Or…their parents, in that case.”

“I don’t even know what kids watch these days.” he mutters, “Is Muppet Babies still a thing?”

“I don’t think so.” she chuckles, “They’ll probably dress up as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or something, they never go out of style.”

Rooster keeps her in his peripheral, her smaller hand covering his own when he moves the cart, so he decides to push it one handed to interlace their fingers together. They approach the cashier, who looks bored out of her mind with a bat fascinator on top of her head, who rings everything quickly, her monotone voice wishing them a ‘Happy Halloween’ before they leave the market.

Beatrice was so busy putting everything inside Rooster’s Bronco, that she did not notice the pair of eyes looking her way…but Rooster did. He looked over his shoulder to where a guy, a bit shorter than him, watched the two from a Chevrolet red pickup truck. He could only describe his appearance as an off brand Vanilla Ice with longer hair. While he was wearing his sunglasses, his head was turned right in the guy’s direction, so he was sure the dude could notice he was looking.

The guy moved his eyes from Beatrice to Rooster when the pilot stepped right in his line of sight. Clearly the guy wasn’t expecting him to move, nor the not so subtle nod of ‘what are you looking at’, he sent his way. He followed the guy with his eyes narrowed, watching him scramble to get into his truck and speed out of the parking lot.

Rooster stood behind Beatrice for a little while longer, just until she announced she was done. His annoyed façade dropped, turning into a smile when he looked down at her, “Let’s go then.” He didn't feel like sharing the info about the guy yet, he didn’t want to scare her with the news of a creep looking her way. 

“Ohh,I’m so excited!” she said happily, shimmying a bit on her seat, his anger fading completely once he got in, “I hope this is enough, do you think it’s enough?”

Bradley laughs when he turns the car on, “I think it’s more than enough. You’ll make a lot of kids happy tonight.” her little smile only got bigger and brighter, clasping her hands together on her lap. “Are you dressing up too?”

“Oh, no, I’ll just wear black and call it a modern witch.” she giggles, “My costume is set for tomorrow.”

His ears perk up with interest, then his brain makes the connection “Penny’s Halloween Party?” she nods, unaware of how his jaw moved with a question “I didn’t know you were dressing up.”

“Oh,I mean, Penny said we could if we wanted to.” she shrugs, leaning on a hand while looking outside the window. He was quiet for a while, making Beatrice blink in his direction, finally noticing he wanted to know what she was going to dress up as “Oh! Julie Newmar’s Catwoman.”

It took every fiber in his body to not swerve in the road, choosing to instead clench the steering wheel tight enough to make the cover creak under his grasp. When he was a prepubescent boy, he discovered the Batman series by random. He couldn’t remember if there were vhs tapes or some channel was running the show again just for shits and giggles. But what he did remember was his crush on every single version of Catwoman from that show, but especially Julie Newmar.

He was just a young boy whose interest in girls hadn’t developed fully yet, he knew he liked them but not enough to be gobsmacked by one of them. Then he saw Julie Newmar’s Catwoman and his brain exploded, discovering that he was really into brunettes. But of course, it wasn’t only Beatrice’s hair color that attracted him to her, it was much more than that but it genuinely made him pay more attention the first time.

So to hear that her, his very gorgeous girlfriend, was going to dress up as one of his childhood crushes was doing something to him.  He cleared his throat, accommodating himself on the seat when a sudden heat came from below towards his neck, definitely flushing the tanned skin, “That’s nice.” he croaked out, “I mean, you’ll look nice.”

Bea smiled, “Thank you, I’ve always wanted to dress as her and Ev knew someone who could make her outfit with my measurements.” he let out a shaky breath just imagining her with that skin tight outfit, shaking his head to refocus, “I don’t know what Shells will be dressed as, I know Penny will be Wonder Woman.”

“That’s nice.” he had to remember he was driving a car, in the middle of a road in the afternoon, with candy that could definitely melt if he chose to park the car somewhere and just figure out how flexible he could be in the front seat. “Do we have to dress up too?”

She shrugs, pursing her lips “If you want. I know some patrons will dress up…and Phoenix said she will too.” he arches his eyebrow at her “She said she’ll dress up as a cactus.”

He was about to say something, but knowing how Phoenix humor could be sometimes he chose to just keep his mouth shut. “I have an idea for a costume.” she tilts her head towards him, waiting for his reply “A strapping pilot who likes to wear Hawaiian shirts.” Beatrice rolls her eyes laughing, which in turn makes him laugh as well, parking the Bronco in front of her house “No, but seriously, I don’t have any idea what I could dress up as.”

“Well,” she unbuckled her seatbelt, pursing her lips, “You could be…hmmm…oh you’d be a great Gomez. You know, from the Addams Family?” 

“I do look great in a suit.” he chuckles, stepping out from the car to open the passenger seat for her, helping her carry the bags “But I couldn’t be a Gomez without my Morticia, and you are dressing up as Catwoman.” her cheeks flushed under his words, “So maybe a second option is needed.”

Beatrice held two bags up, allowing Rooster to close the passenger door and lock the blue Bronco as she got closer to her door. She gasped, turning to him with a smile, “I know! Magnum P.I! He has a mustache and likes Hawaiian shirts too.”

Rooster couldn’t help but chuckle, “I mean, you have a point.” He waits until she enters the house, Jolene greeting both of them with leaps of joy, running between their legs, bringing her sock monkey as a welcome gift. Beatrice rushes to the kitchen where the colorful Halloween baggies were waiting to be filled inside a large pumpkin bucket, “I could do that.”

“You’d look really good too,” she throws over her shoulder, dropping the bags on her kitchen table -which she just got!! -, the different types of sweets spilling over the dark colored wood “You’d just have to use your shirt, no top underneath.”

With her giving her back to him, Rooster smiled, approaching her from behind to wrap his arms around her waist. “You just want to make it easier for you to take it off,” he kisses right below her earlobe “Which is completely fine by me.”

“Roos…” she bites back her smile “I have to set everything ready and you said you’d help me…” her pilot groans, letting her go with a heavy sigh but he’s smiling, removing his sunglasses to slip them on the collar of his tee, taking a seat next to hers. She was so happy, so excited to do this he had no other feelings but pure adoration towards her.

Every baggie had candies and a gift, a tiny notepad with crayons. She didn’t want to give the kids something that’d be too locked within a gender and pretty much every child liked to draw so it’d be a good gift! While they were busy, she was a lot faster than he was too, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander to her backyard where he knew she was painting from the time he was deployed. “So…did you finish your picture?” she looks up from tying the baggie with a bright green bow “You said you were painting something when I was gone. Did you finish it?”

Beatrice slows her movements, her cheeks reddening “Oh…um…not yet.” she doesn’t meet his eyes, choosing to focus on filling the baggies instead. His eyes squint humorously, so she was hiding something from him, he was too used to her mannerisms for her to hide stuff like that.

“Do you still want to show it to me once it’s done?”

“Yes.”

“You sure?” his smile turns boyish, the idea it was probably something of a surprise for him making him feel giddy.

“Yes.” she repeats, biting back her smile “You just gotta be patient..and we have to finish this now so we can’t focus on anything else.” he laughs but nods, offering a shrug in her direction as they continue fixing the baggies. 

-

She peeks through the curtains again, the pumpkin bucket on her hand as she looks outside “There’s no one yet.” she murmurs, “What if they don’t come here,Roos? I don’t even know if this neighborhood has a lot of kids.”

He steps behind her, nudging his head on her shoulder to look out just like she did “They’ll be here, gorgeous.” she makes a sad noise, her crestfallen expression when she looks down at the bucket tugs at his heart “Hey, hey, they’ll be here. Okay? Give it a few more minutes.”

Beatrice gives him a look, the dark kohl around her eyes making them appear even bigger “Okay…” she couldn’t hold back the smile when he kisses her cheek, “Thank you.”

“You are welcome, pretty girl.” he chuckles, “You sure you don’t want my help?”

“No, I’ll be fine. Just go ahead and relax, you are my guest after all.” she smiles, a soft laugh tittering out of her mouth when he presses a noisy kiss to her cheek again, walking back to the couch where Jolene remained. Beatrice couldn’t help but sigh happily, remembering that after she told him about the wedding, he suggested he could spend the few days before it happened if it helped her feel calmer. So he’d packed up his duffel bag with enough clothes and hygienic products for the time being, choosing to get the suit for the wedding early Friday.

It was comforting having him there, just lounging on her couch wearing his gray sweatpants and no shirt. It was…very nice to know he was in her space. Beatrice’s line of thoughts broke when she started to hear the sudden noise of voices approaching, “Oh my god, oh my god!!” she peeks through the curtain again, seeing a group of kids wander by “Roos!!They are here!”

Rooster chuckles, looking back at Beatrice who was bouncing on the spot with how happy she was, watching her open the door and greet the kids with as much joy as the kids had. He heard the kids gasp and thank her when she gave them the heavy baggies filled with candy, while his eyes remained on the tv, watching Kandy Muse and Tamisha Iman argue during Untucked.

Beatrice remained close to the window, while Bradley and Jolene stayed on the couch, watching Drag Race together. The pitbull’s large head resting on top of his thigh, her eyes blinking sleepily when he petted her head repeatedly, before she succumbed to sleep. He was so focused on watching Drag Race - it was a great show and he already shared his own thoughts with the others, especially Nat who was an avid watcher as well - he didn’t see the time go by.

His girlfriend was just so happy being able to give the kids a good Halloween night she didn’t even move too much from her spot by the window. She did however, blink in surprise when a black Toro pick up truck rolled to a park right outside, a large figure walking out of the driver’s seat to open the passenger door, where a tiny person rushed out.

She could only blink in surprise, seeing the large figure wobble closer, then the doorbell rang. When she opened her eyes immediately focused on her brother looking downright miserable,”Leo?” he purses his lips, then nods “You…uh…what are you doing here?”

“Bibi wanted to see you.” he gestures to the little girl, which makes Bea drop her gaze as well. Bianca was wearing blue overalls, a red shirt and a large red cap with a big M on it with her blonde hair pulled back into it. Not to mention, the paper mustache glued above her niece’s lips. 

“Oh…I–”

“Its-a me! Mario!!” Bibi shouts with gusto, pulling out a tiny stuffed mushroom, playing that she bit into it, then bouncing as if she got bigger - much like Mario did.

Realization hits Beatrice, her eyes slowly dragging back to her older brother and his costume. It was a full green onesie with a sewn on head, big fake eyes staring down at her “Oh my God…you–”

“I am Yoshi, obviously.” 

“No!” Bianca looked back at her father, “You need to make Yoshi sounds!!”

Leonardo sighed heavily, licking his lips and saying the word ‘mlem’ in the highest tone his voice could get. Beatrice sputters, biting her lips to prevent her grin, “Yes, yes laugh all you want.”

“I-I’m s-sorry..” she tried so hard to hold back her laughter, but only managed to cackle even harder, “I-I, you–” she snickers, covering her mouth with a hand while her brother looks at her unamused, “Oh…oh my g-god…I-I’m so sorry. You look-” a quiet snort comes out of her nose “You look gr-great.”

“Uh-huh.” Leo’s drone reply didn’t help the situation, “Bibi, ask auntie.”

Bianca blinked, holding up her pumpkin bucket, “TRICK OR TREAT!! YAHOO!” Beatrice, after wiping her eyes from laughing so hard, dropped a few of the baggies inside her niece’s bucket, smiling down at her when the blonde girl gasped, whispering a ‘cool’ when she opened the baggie already.

Rooster, hearing the commotion - and Bea’s laughter- decided to put on a shirt before he walked closer to the open door. His eyes widened briefly as he took in Leonardo’s costume, “Hey…Yoshi?” Leonardo nods, unamused, gesturing to his daughter who was sniffing a crayon, dressed as the Italian plumber. “Oh hey, nice costume.”

Bianca looks up, her paper mustache crooked as she gasps, “PRINCE ROOSTER!” she shouts, standing to her feet with her tiny arms up in the air “You are here!! Hi!” 

“Hey, Bianca,” he smiles, “Nice mustache, you are going to make me jealous. It looks much better than mine.”

Bianca’s eyes widened, “I’m Mario!” she grins her few toothed smile, “I’m going to get all the candy and defeat Bowser!!” 

“You do that, I believe in you.” Rooster replies, enjoying how the little girl growled out in triumph, her tiny fists in the air. He didn’t even notice his arm was around Beatrice’s waist, force of habit really, but he did see Leonardo’s eyes move to it immediately. He didn’t want to remove it, even if Leonardo’s eyes zeroed on it the moment he noticed it. But Bea’s brother just gave him a small smile and an even smaller nod - which with him dressed as Yoshi was downright hilarious- before grabbing his daughter’s fist.

“Come on BIbi, time to go home.”

Bianca frowned, looking back at her aunt and Rooster, “But I wanna stay! Can’t we stay daddy??”

“Uh… no, cause…mom is waiting for us.”

“Mommy is asleep!”

“Mommy is waiting for us while asleep, let’s go.” he swoops down to grab the little girl in his arms, kissing her cheek “Say bye, Bibi.” the little girl pouted, but did so, before pressing her cheek to her dad’s shoulder in annoyance. 

“Bye!” Beatrice smiles, leaning onto Rooster’s chest as she watches her brother turn around to his car. The moment he does, her eyes just double in size, “Oh my god YOU HAVE A TAIL TOO???”

“SHUT UP!” Leonardo retorts, covering the plushy tail from his costume with a hand. “STOP LOOKING AT MY TAIL!” but his sister was already laughing and Rooster was trying very hard to not laugh a long, rubbing the tip of his thumb against his lips while looking away. Beatrice was still giggling when her brother got into the truck, telling Bianca to cover her ears as he dropped an ‘f’ bomb, but he was laughing just as hard. Beatrice in return, shouted she loved him as he drove off.

Her laughing diminished and she looked down at the bucket in her hands:  empty. She did it. She had her very first Halloween in her house, gave out candy by herself and saw her niece and brother! It was a great night, so great she just turned to Rooster to wrap her arms around his torso, pressing her ear to his chest to hear the heartbeat, “That was fun,” he comments and she nods, “How are you feeling?”

“Good.” her body was also finally relaxing from all the excitement “And tired…but I had fun.”

“You did, it was really nice to see.” he kisses the top of her head, pulling her back inside, “What do you say we get something to eat?” she hums positively, letting go of him to drop the bucket to the floor. But she goes back to holding him,inhaling his cologne before her eyes move back to his, lashes fluttering with the promise of something else. Rooster’s eyes drooped, his tongue wetting out his lips, “Or…you have something else in mind.”

“I did say I’d make it up to you.” she whispers, biting her lower lip while grabbing his hand to lead him upstairs, “Didn’t I?”

“Hmhm.” he mutters, letting her lead him up before he looks back to where Jolene is sprawled on the couch, “What about Jojo?”

“She’ll be asleep…but if you are worried she’ll come upstairs, I have a pet gate that I use when I have to clean up here and she can’t come over.” she says, “I keep it in the laundry room.” She just laughs when he lets go of her hand to bolt downstairs, turning the lights on in the laundry room - her dog just lifting her head then dropping without much interest - before he comes out with the pet gate.

She had never seen someone set it up so quickly, but he did, rushing back upstairs to wrap his arms around her waist. Much to her surprise, he just tossed her over his shoulder, “Rooster!” she yelps, trying to balance herself the best she could, letting out a shout when she feels his hand immediately hit her ass. “Bradley!!”

“Can’t hear you! Going to get my treat!!”

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader

[harrisongslimited]

George Chapter of the Day

Chapter 13

Trigger Warnings: adult situations, swearing, drinking, sexual situations, slow burn romance,

**18+ only** Please.

Chapter 13

It was 10am California time when Annie Magnum heard the phone ring. Although she was deeply invested in the letter she just received from her best friend, Joie, Annie jumped up to answer it.

They had been corresponding by letter, airmail with special paper to write on...blue and thin as tissue paper, but with her emotions in turmoil, Joie needed desperately to talk to her. No one knew Joie better than Annie.

"Oh my God...Joie!" Annie exclaimed. "you have no idea how happy I am to hear from you. It's been ages."

"I know. I just needed to hear your voice," Joie explained.

"I know what you mean and have I got a story for you! But I'm quite impressed by your travel schedule. Letters from all over the world....postcards from Paris and Germany. Girl, you've been everywhere. I've managed to get to work and the Santa Monica Promenade over the last couple of months. I've done nothing compared to you."

"Annie, I want to come home so badly. It's just been a nightmare." Joie proceeded to tell Annie about Brian and the incident where she picked him up from a bar. "He's been so rude. George told me that he's just protective of the boys, but it's more than that. He just hates me."

"Whoa, sweetie pie!" Annie announced. "What the fuck is all this about? Your letters are so perky...if it's been hell, you should have told me."

"I know. I know. It was just so hard to throw in the towel and give up. That's not my style. I actually haven't been in the office. I quit. That's what I called to tell you. For right now, I'm living in George's coach house on his property."

There was dead silence until Annie squeaked out, "What the fuck???"

"I know how it sounds, but the coach house is completely separate from his house. He can come and go and I'd never know it."

"Joie, does your dad know?"

"Yes. I talked to him the other day. I wanted to give you the address so you can write me here. George actually brought all my stuff from Freda's the other day after the Brian incident, as it will be known by from now on."

"Ok....almost living together. What gives? What, exactly, do you need to tell me? You and George? Come on, give it to me straight, you wonton hussy. Do not tell me that George Harrison popped your cherry??"

They both burst out in laughter.

"No, you dirty-minded, red-haired tart."

"All true. I'll admit it," Annie giggled. "Now give it to me straight, Batgirl, what the fuck is happening?"

Joie took a breath. "I don't know, Annie. George...he's been so good to me. He really looks after me, you know? I mean I know I was hired as an assistant to all of them, but..."

"But what?" Annie prodded.

"I don't know. Being here with George has been wonderful. He's just been wonderful." Joie admitted.

"What about Paul...John...Ringo?"

"It's just been different with George. I don't know how to explain it. Cyn, John's wife, says he's smitten."

"Well, use Charlie as a reference...."Annie offered. "Do you think he likes you?"

"Charlie was a nightmare. All he wanted to do was have sex. He couldn't have cared less if we had a conversation. George actually listens to me. We talked all night the night he left for this last tour. And he'll be gone for 3 weeks."

"And it doesn't hurt that he's hot as fuck, right?"

"Well...yeah."

"Could this just be your body wanting you to have sex?"

"You mean I'm sexually starving?" Joie asked, then burst into laughter. "What about you? We were rowing in the same boat, if I remember correctly. You have something to tell me, missy?"

There was silence for a moment, then Annie spoke softly. "I met someone..."

"Yay!" Joie cheered. "Do I know him? Tell me everything immediately..."

"I'll spill in a minute. I'm not done with you yet," Annie told her. "Now what are you going to be doing while he's gone? Going into the office?"

"I don't know. The Brian Incident has put the fear in me, you know? But the office is crazy. The mail is unbelievable. Thousands by the day. Thousands. So I help Freda and answer the phone and just sort the tons of mail. We have 2 other girls now to help and Freda has been talking to Brian about opening an office in New York to handle the mail from the states alone. We'd handle just the European/Asian mail and the NY office would handle the American mail."

"Sounds like a whole lotta work, if you ask me. Now I want to ask you one question," Annie said to her. "Just one question."

"What's that?"

"How do you feel? How do you feel about George?"

Joie was silent a long time. "I miss him. I miss him a lot."

"Joie Armagh...," Annie brightened. "you're in love. You are actually in love with George Harrison."

"Am not," she answered in a blustery voice.

"You are too."

"I can't be."

"Why not?"

"I'm American. He's British," Joie stated as if that was a reason.

"What...is this the 1800's? We're allies now, you know."

Joie laughed. "Well, shit. It's just he's so... FAMOUS. I'm a California girl. Hotdogs and hamburgers on the grill after a day of beach volleyball."

"Joie, you are crazy. People fall in love all the time...for all the right reasons and sometimes for the wrong reasons. What do you say, girlfriend?"

"Well, he's not in love with me."

"Sounds to me like he's doing an awful lot to show you how he feels."

Joie thought she would change the subject. "So tell me about you. What have you been doing? Tell me about your mystery man."

"You're avoiding my questions...."

"I know."

.........

Joie thought a long time about their conversation. No one knew her better than Annie. They had been friends since first grade. Was she falling in love with George? What would she do if she was? Well, perhaps a delightful heavy petting session...followed by...uh...what? Sex would be lovely but Joie knew she had literally no experience and George was more than likely a 5-Star General when it came to bedding a bird. Joie wouldn't be able to handle the humiliation of not knowing shit..

Well, it wouldn't matter anyway, because it takes 2.

.........

"Well?" John tapped George's feet as they hung off the bed.

"Well what?" He looked up from the letter he was writing.

"C'mon, you horse's arse. Joie?? Have you told her how you feel?"

"Working on it," George gave him a sly smile.

" She, Cyn and Mo are getting to be inseparable."

"I'm glad. Really."

"So what's your stupid as shit idea?" Paul chimed in. "Like what's the plan?"

"No plan. Flying by the seat of my pants, actually," George explained. "I'm letting Joie have the reins. She's fairly shy. So I'm going to be patient."

"And while you're being patient, some doctor or lawyer or banker will sweep her away."

George shook his head. "Not Joie."

"You're daft," John and Paul echoed and left George to his letter.

Rolling over on his back, the pen tapping his chin, George thought about the girl with the lovely auburn hair. Touching her, kissing her was all he could think about. Her eyes were incredible...dark with golden flecks in her irises. She probably has no clue what he wanted to do with her.

..........

As the days went by, Joie missed George more and more. One night she actually slept in his bed, the scent of his aftershave covering his pillowcase. She pulled the pillow to her body and began moving her fingers over her flushed body. She moved slowly, touching herself and envisioned George being there with her. It was all pretty simple to please yourself...but how the fuck do you please a guy?

Hand jobs, blow jobs, penetration and orgasm. She hoped there was more than just the mechanics. Maybe it comes naturally...she hoped so anyway.

.........

The house was big and empty. She missed living with Freda. The kittens kept her company, and by now she had named them. Kit and Mouse. It seemed to fit.

But more and more, she missed home. She missed California, her dad and Jordan. She missed sunshine and hamburgers. She missed the beach. She missed Annie. She missed baseball and ice hockey. She even missed school. She had decided that when her visa was up in another 2 months, she would go home. Joie would be appreciative of everything, but she decided that California is where she belonged.

..........

He was calling from somewhere in Sweden when he and Joie began discussing her going back home. George couldn't imagine losing her now. He wished she would stay on the basis of her feelings for him, but what those were, he couldn't tell. Was she just being a good assistant or was she attracted to him? He wasn't sure what else he could do to show her he wanted all of her and, as time went by, needed her too.

"I'm going to have to face Brian at some point and I want to be able to make him happy. I'll turn in my resignation," Joie told George. "I shouldn't even be telling you this. You are really the boss, after all!"

"I gave up being my own boss when I became a Beatle," he told her, fatigue evident in his voice. "I gave up a lot when I became a Beatle."

"But George, like John said, how long could it last?" Joie said. "Enjoy it for now and figure in 5 years you will more than likely have your life back."

"None of us will be doing this in 5 years," George answered. "It's making us old already. My nervous system is shot."

"I heard about the next movie...." Joie said softly. "That will give you a break."

"But who knows when that will happen?" George said. "I figure they want it started fairly quickly....strike while we're hot, so to speak."

"We just have to get through this now," Joie said. "And we will."

"Yes, we will," George answered. "So you won't run away before I get back?"

"No, of course not," Joie laughed. "Kit and Mouse need me."

.........

Later that afternoon, a tearful Cynthia called. "I'm coming over with a bottle of wine. Julian is with my mom and I need some girl talk. John is 500 miles away and we had to get into a fight on the phone. I'm so upset...."

"C'mon over," Joie said. "I'm here."

Cyn showed up with 2 bottles of wine and 2 red, puffy eyes. She had been crying for a long time.

"He doesn't mean it half the time," Cyn said. "But he can be very cruel. Then I talked to George and he calmed me down. How things have changed since the days George followed me and John around. We've watched him grow up since he was 15."

"I know. He told me he used to tag along not understanding you and John probably wanted to be alone."

Cyn finally laughed. "I love him with my whole heart. He understands things very deeply now."

Joie exhaled a breath and nodded.

"So what are your feelings?" Cyn blurted out. "I hope you are not leading him on. He's too important to me to let him get hurt."

Joie blinked several times and shifted from her position on the floor. "Cyn, what are you talking about? I'm staying in the coach house. Nothing has happened."

"Really? It seems to me that you aren't seeing things as they really are," Cynthia said pointedly. "George is clearly crazy about you. How can you not see that?"

"What? What do you mean?"

Cyn tapped her forehead. "Don't tell me the British are more open with their feelings than the American's are...."

"Cyn, what are you saying?" Joie asked, a funny urgency building inside her.

"I'm saying everyone and their brother can see George is crazy about you. The only one who doesn't see it is you." She answered taking another sip of wine. "I mean from what I see anyway."

"George has been very good to me. I don't think he's 'crazy' about me," Joie replied with a shrug. "He's been a perfect gentleman."

"So you are saying that if he was trying to grab a feel that would prove he's interested in you?"

Joie blinked at Cyn. Tears began to well in her eyes. "No...of course not. Oh my God....."

Cyn pulled up to her knees. "Oh, don't cry. Or I'll start crying and we will never stop."

Joie's emotions were all jammed up. She was crying and laughing at the same time.

"I don't get it, Cyn...."

"He's in love with you. Is that so hard to understand?"

"Yeah. It is. I guess I'm just used to fighting off boys who just want to get a hand on you....or want your hand on them."

"Americans...."Cyn joked. "I think the key word is 'boys'. George isn't a boy. He's been through a lot and learned from it. He's a man....a man who is love with you."

"I don't really think that's true. I mean how do you know?"

"Would it matter if I told you? I mean, how do you feel?"

Joie thought for a long time and took a drink from her wine glass. "I miss him, Cyn. I miss him. I know that for sure. Nothing would make me happier than seeing him walk through that front door."

Cyn smiled brightly. "That sounds just a little like love to me."

Joie leaned forward. "I don't know what love is. I've never been in love."

"I think you know what it is. You've just never experienced it."

"When did you know that you loved John?"

Cyn looked at Joie. "When I missed him."

..........

They sat on the floor and ate the meal Joie cooked for them. Cyn opened the other bottle of wine as they cleaned up the kitchen and talked about Julian and families and clothes....and George.

"I'm not as fashionable as some of these English birds," Joie told her. "California is pretty laid back when it comes to fashion. It's not like New York or London."

"I think George likes the fresh, clean look..." Cyn teased her.

Joie laughed. "He got that full in the face the night he brought me back from London after the incident with Brian. I took a shower and had no make up or anything. I must have looked like something the dog dragged in."

"I think George was very worried about you after that. None of us could believe Brian did that to you."

"Oh, it's ok now. George came to the rescue."

"My point exactly."

Joie looked at Cyn. "I think I'm beginning to understand...."

All of a sudden, the front door swung open and George stood there with Mal. "9 am Mal. Bright and early."

"George...." Joie exclaimed, running toward the door. "What are you doing here?"

He only smiled at her. He dropped a small bag on the floor and looked at Cyn. "You girls have a nice time?"

"Very nice," Cyn said collecting her things to leave. "My cue to go."

Joie looked from George to Cyn and back again. She didn't know what to think.

"Thanks, Cyn," George said to her, kissing her cheek as she exited.

"No problem," Cyn answered. "And I'll talk to you soon Joie..."

"Bye Cyn" Joie called after her.

George made sure Cyn got into her car safely and returned to Joie. They stood 10 feet apart, Joie just looking at him.

"But...but...you're on tour...." Joie said, confused. "How....why....? Did something go wrong?

"Yeah, something went beautifully wrong." he answered, watching her carefully. "I don't want you to go back to the states, Joie. I'd really love for you to stay."

Neither of them moved. Tears began to well in Joie's eyes. She blinked quickly. All of a sudden she ran to him and jumped into his open arms. Joie buried her face into his collar and held onto him. He smelled amazing. His arms held her tightly and his body seemed to curl into her somehow.

Neither of them could let go.

"Joie...." He said softly into her neck.

"George..." she responded. "What are you doing here?"

He shifted so he was able to frame her face in his hands. He kissed her on the lips very gently. Then held her again.

"Pack a bag," he whispered.

She leaned back to look at him. "Where are we going?"

"You're going. Not me. I've got to catch a plane back to Sweden before noon tomorrow."

Joie shook her head not understanding. "So what do I pack?"

"Enough clothes to last a week or so."

"Where am I going?"

"Just be ready in 15 minutes."

Joie reached up and kissed him back. "Ok."

And she raced off to the coach house to pack a bag.

.........

She felt warm in the car for the 30 minute drive to George's parents' house. He held her hand in his lap, unwilling to let her go now that he had her.

"But George, I just can't park myself at your parents' house until you come back. It's such an intrusion..."

George shook his head. "I always thought American's busted into their neighbors houses all the time. Loose. Free. You are more worried about appearances than I thought."

"It's just that I don't know your parents....and it seems like a lot to ask. 'Oh, can a stranger come and stay for a couple of weeks'?"

"You are not a stranger. Besides, I thought you said you trusted me."

"I do...."

"Ok then," George told her. "Sit back and relax. We'll be there soon."

"But what about the cats?" she asked suddenly. "We can't leave them."

"Cyn's going to stop by."

"You planned this all out, didn't you?" she said, tilting her head at him.

#the beatles #beatles #george harrison #george chapter of the day #john lennon #paul mccartney #ringo starr #slow burn romance #love story #tumblr writers

[cha-melodius]

Fic Rec Friday

This week's theme: Rec a fic that starts with the same letter as your username (or, if you like, a part of your username) The rules: Tag a fic that starts with the same letter as your username and describe why it's so good / how it has a hold on you. Then tag some people to see what everyone else is reading. Spread the love! Also, she'll do the round up on Sunday, so if you're still recc-ing on Saturday, no pressure! Please tag @welcometololaland or tag #fic rec friday so she can compile the masterlist.

Thanks Lola and @rmd-writes for the tags. I'm also gonna cheat and give more than one per fandom because I actually sorted all the fics in my fandoms by title and went through all the C's, which was enlightening but also gave me too many options that I love. Narrowing it down to three or less was hard enough.

Red, White & Royal Blue

Cinnamon & Earl Grey by @everwitch-magiks This is actually a series of 100-word drabbles, one each week, that tell a complete outsider-POV story. I'm still in awe, especially since Evie didn't even know what the theme would be each week, but it still fits!

Come Fly With Me by politics_and_prose Super adorable airline passenger/flight attendant AU. The flirting is so on point.

Competent Guardians of Horny Little Miscreants by M0ssPiglet Amy POV! Missing canon scene. I am obsessed with Amy and Cash moaning about having to protect our two horny idiots. Someone give them a raise.

The Man from UNCLE (2015)

Careful of the Company You Keep by @alienfuckeronmain (objectlesson) Oh, the angst. This is one of my favorites dealing with the messiness of them getting together. I love how this deals with Napoleon’s past and relationship issues from Illya’s perspective.

Closer and closer by @heytheredeann (Elisexyz) OCTOPUS NAPOLEON RIGHTS. I'm not sure I need to say more. So soft and snuggly and lovely.

Loki (Series)

A can of josta by @jim-jam-gem A lovely little season 1 coda of Loki looking for Mobius, and he finally gets a hug!! 😭

Cold, Cold Heart by @amadness2method Country music AU! I just love the world that was built here. This is a WIP that hasn't been updated in a while, but well worth reading the 15 chapters that are already there (and if you see this, Cyn, I'd love to see more, but also know I love it as it stands 💕).

Tagging the above authors, and also @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @14carrotghoul, @xthelastknownsurvivorx, @three-drink-amy, @clottedcreamfudge, @orchidscript, @wolfpup026, @athousandrooms, @natendo-art, @celeritas2997, @cricketnationrise, and anyone else who sees this to join in. Share the love!!

#fic rec friday #fic recs #rwrb #firstprince #tmfu #napollya #lokius

[wingsoverlagos]

Lewisohn vs. Cynthia Lennon, Pt. 2 of 3

For part 1, click here. This post contains the next five endnotes in Mark Lewisohn's Tune In that reference Cynthia Lennon's A Twist of Lennon (1978). Part 3 will have the last of the Twist citations, as well as a couple of citations that use her autobiography John (2005).

Twist p.51 vs. Tune In 15-45

There’s no direct quote here, and the details in Twist and Tune In mostly match up. Mostly. Lewisohn greatly overstates Cynthia’s mother’s dislike for John, though. As Cyn relates it, her mom was happy to have Cynthia spending more time around the house (she’d been spending little waking time there during her relationship with John), and asserts that her mother was likely hoping things would fizzle out between them. Cyn says her mother “had never been over the moon” and “[hoped] that ‘Out of sight out of mind’ would prove the case.” Contrast that with Lewisohn’s “hoped plainly and simply” that their relationship would end, calls John a “Liverpool lout”, and says that Lil Powell wished “she’d never have to see him or hear about him again.” Rather more emphatic, wouldn’t you say?

It's possible that Cyn downplayed her mother's dislike for John. As a biographer, Lewisohn absolutely should take into account the possible bias of any given source, and it's reasonable to assume that Cyn might show some bias towards her mother, given the end result of her relationship with John. However, it's one thing to suggest the possibility that tensions were higher than Cynthia portrayed, and another thing entirely to definitively state they were without giving a source for this conflicting account.

Twist p.51-54 vs. Tune In 16-27

We’ve got a few problems here. First, Cyn does not mention Dot going along to take photobooth shots with her in Twist (see above) and John (p.55). I believe there’s an anecdote about Cyn and Dot taking pictures of each other at home to send to John and Paul, but the photobooth story only features Cyn.

The next issue: “Quasimodo.” I have to admit I don’t like the way Lewisohn writes about John mocking the disabled. It’s one thing to use the offensive language John would have used at the time (“cripple”) in quotes, or to indicate to the reader that John was using derogatory language, but Lewisohn leans really hard into it. He seems to relish using “cripple” or “cripping” whenever possible. In this instance, Cyn tells us that John sent her pictures of himself as a hunchback. Lewisohn says he did the shots as “Quasimodo.” I’m not sure if the implication is that John was doing a particular character bit, or if “Quasimodo” is a stand-in for any hunchback—is it like calling any tissue a Kleenex?

Lastly, Lewisohn describes John’s correspondence as “steamy letters, full of sex, passion and cripples.” I don’t think this is an incorrect description, but I do think it erases the depth described by Cyn in both of her memoirs. In Twist, Cyn describes how John would write about their terrible living conditions and bum-deal contract. She also said that “John seemed to be changing” (see p.54, above), becoming less destructive as he spent his time creating music. In John (p.56), Cyn says, “He wrote about every aspect of their stay, including those he would never have wanted his family to know about.” By Cyn’s account, she was John’s confidante, an important outlet during a period of trouble, change, and creativity, but Lewisohn hones in on the horniness and the goofy/offensive pictures.

Twist p.78, John p.91 vs. Tune In 30-37

Omission without ellipsis.

Twist p.76-77, It’s Only Love website vs. Tune In 30-39

This particular discrepancy between Tune In and its sources was covered well by @anotherkindofmindpod. If you haven't listened to their Fine Tuning series yet--get on it, brother!--you can hear the relevant portion at ~1:06:09 in Episode 9:

I'll spare you my own analysis--AKOM has said what needs to be said--but I'll share the passages here for those of you who like a visual reference. First, from Twist:

The other source Lewisohn gives is the It's Only Love website. Their page about Dot Rhone can be found here. The color choices at the source can be difficult to read, so I'll copy the relevant passage here:

Then Brain Epstein became the Beatles manager. "He said we couldn't go to the concert's [sic] anymore. We obeyed him. We were very annoyed but we thought, if it helped their careers we would do it... I could see that Paul wa [sic] growing away from me. I knew what was coming. And all these years he had been having his bits on the side and it was getting so easy for him. he [sic] was young and he couldn't resist. That was a time of sadness but also release. I didn't keep trying so hard or worrying about trying to keep up, or saying the right things or not having my hair right or not being enough fun"      The relationship ended in the Summer of 1962 when The Beatles were weeks away from national fame. Dorothy will never forget the night Paul visited her and told her they had to break up. He called unexpectedly at her flat when she was wearing her mother's cami-knickers and a baggy old sweater, with her hair in rollers. "Paul said we'd been going out so long that it was either get married or split up. He said 'I don't want to get married, so even though I love you we'll have to finish.' He didn't cry but I knew he felt badly and he was sorry, just by the way he looked. I burst out crying. I said how can you do this? What am I going to do? I thought he might come back because it had been three years, but I suppose really I knew."

Emphasis mine; those are the passages quoted in Tune In.

Finally, here's Lewisohn's version:

In pink, we have Lewisohn's misrepresentation of Cyn's account of the breakup. Note the wildly different timbre. In green and yellow, we have Dot's account from It's Only Love. At the source, the green text comes after the yellow text, seemingly in response to a different question in the original interview.

A note about Lewisohn’s source: It’s Only Love is a fansite devoted to the Beatles’ wives, girlfriends, and rumored flings. The last update is from November 2007. I don’t have any reason to doubt the information on this page (it’s not like Mark Lewisohn is the webmaster), but it’s not rigorously cited. There’s a partial list of sources on the Dot Rhone page that lists a few books, a “Dorothy Rhone interview October 1997”, and ends with “various Beatles and McCartney biographies.” I have found no indication which quotes on the page come from which source—which is fine. It’s a fansite from the early to mid 2000s. That said, if I was writing a doorstopper of a biography, I would hesitate to use that as a source.

I’ve done some digging to try to find the referenced October 1997 interview but have not had any luck. I’m not the world’s greatest internet sleuth, though, so if anyone is familiar with that interview, please let me know!

Sources:

It's Only Love [Internet]. c2005? Dot Rhone. [cited 2024 Feb 2]. Available from: https://sentstarr.tripod.com/beatgirls/rhone.html

Lennon C. 1978. A Twist of Lennon. New York (NY): Avon Books. 190p.

Lennon C. 2005. 1st American Edition. John. New York (NY): Crown Publishers. 294p.

#Mark Lewisohn #Tune In #The Beatles #John Lennon #Cynthia Lennon #A Twist of Lennon #Dot Rhone #lewi-sins #Spotify

[roseofhybrids]

Episode 6 - Kill Count update

I have just finished updating the count, before we get into the numbers, let's start with the new rules for counting.

I decided to add the sentinels because you know what, they're good dingoes, they deserve it. Also, because all deaths in this episode that can be attributed to anyone were of or by them so. (Like, we have the entire pile of disassembly drones that I can't count because 1. their cores are in the oven, so they could be revived, and 2. even if their cores were destroyed, and they're 100% dead, I can't attribute them because I can't tell if it was the sentinels that would have done the killing blow or if Alice ripping the cores out did it)

I also decided to attribute the solver deaths to the drone who was possessed to do it. So congratulations to J, she gets to have the episode 2 deaths.

V won't be counted unless we see a body. We've seen what these drones can live through, gonna need more than a dino lunge before I add her.

Now for the numbers,

J's new total is 4 which still places her below N [5]

The sentinels collectively have 7 kills. Their maulings have been added to the "penetrating trauma" cause group, beating out our 6 decapitation deaths.

Uzi is now tied with sentinels for 3rd place. I would like to thank her for using the NULL black hole for her kills because it lets me add "spaghettification" to the cause breakdown.

With the new ruling, CYN now has 3 less kills. Which still leaves her minimum count at 26 beating Doll's 22.

There is also the slight detail of her blowing up an entire planet. The ruling would give the deaths to her, as she was possessed by the solver at the time. But, like the spire, I can't properly count Earth's destruction. However, with the addition of the creature category, I'd like to note that while Earth could have had ~8 billion humans and an unknown number of drones. Earth as of right now has almost 2 millions species, with thousands added each year, and many of those species can have millions of individuals. Dogs alone have several hundred million individuals. CYN's at the top of the count forever and always. All hail the regina mortis

Episode 6 had 9 total deaths, 66% of which were done by sentinels. The first death occurred just under 1 minute in

#murder drones #episode 6 #murder drones kill count #average murder drones character responsible for several million deaths actually just statistical error #murders CYN who lives in a creepy death basement and drove several species to extinction is an outlier and should not have been counted

[deathdxnces]

— SHIPPING INFO

answer the following for your muse so people know how shipping works on your blog.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?

i don't think i have one (1) otp but also. kayn/irelia my beloved (hi cyn 😘).

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

i don't really have a problem with big age gaps as long as the two characters are adults and met as adults. but honestly i'm not a fan of shipping irelia with much older characters because i feel there'd be a big maturity gap and that's an issue for me

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?

hmmm it really depends on the content? honestly i just prefer to be on the safe side and tag things as nsfw even when it's mostly suggestive?

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

more or less. i need to feel comfortable with the other writer and there's gotta be chemistry/make sense for my muse. but i'm also very open to plotting romantic relationships rather than just going with the flow, especially if we're friends, so like? not that selective? i'll be very honest i think romance is SO much fun to explore in writing, i love shipping idc i'm cringe but i'm free

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

sett. but also i think talon and riven could both be interesting, depending on how it's done. also akali!!! i think irelia and akali could be really good actually. could mayhaps see yone or yasuo or sona or ahri. i don't know i think there's a lot that could work with her and i'm really always open to different ships if they happen when writing and ultimately it depends a lot on how those characters are written and how well i think they'd match with how i write irelia like conceptually i think those have potential but i'm also really. kinda picky? with it actually working for me or not, it's not just bc someone is writing one of those muses that it'd work is what i mean, i guess

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

not necessarily, although openly suggesting you're interested in shipping is actually nice for me because even when i can see it i'm often like oh i don't wanna come across as pushing for that even if it makes sense for how this interaction is going so like. asking is not necessary, it can happen naturally, but i am 100% fine with someone asking as long as they're also fine with the possibility i'll say no, and talking about it actually makes me far less anxious

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

to make the answer different, on top of the ones i mentioned in zed's blog... tf/graves. lb/swain/vlad. akalynn (that's han's influence tbh). j4/shyvana my beloved i could go on about it for DAYS i love them sm... senna/lucian. kalista/ledros. nidalee/neeko. there's honestly so many league ships i like

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

dm me nicely to talk about the dynamics you can see. or send me memes that indicate that interest when i rb those prompts about wanted dynamics. knock on my door and yell HI MEL DO YOU SEE THIS SORT OF RELATIONSHIP BC I KINDA DO! or grab me by the throat and say you wanna ship with me, that also works.

tagged by: @seekslight ty 💕

#» out of character — ⌜main sup irl.⌟ #» dash games — ⌜the blades are honed; let us test their edges.⌟

[rhodeybugg]

Before The Dawn: Chapter 9; Solace.

The chapter everyone was waiting for. Also! I am taking a little break from writing as it is leading into finals week for me. Nothing is being discontinued, i've just been really overwhelmed and need some time to rest, and will be back to the normal schedule soon! {I'm no longer giving out exact dates. I'm going to try to keep these stories every week but i'm no longer promising dates and forcing myself to fulfill them when I have no energy or motivation so I don't look like a liar.} For now, if you'd like to keep up with my behind-the-scenes art and other au works/concepts, you can join my server using this link!

The server is still growing and gaining speed, but I plan on posting all of my character concepts, designs and sceneboards there as they come along!

Onto the chapter!

Who am I to tell my private nightmares to if I can’t tell them to you? -Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot

Thank you for purchasing a JCJENSON Series XI GUARD Drone! For setup commands, see page 3. For troubleshooting and common system errors, turn to page 20. . . . Basic errors of a Series XI Guard Drone. -Drone is not registering voice -Misbalanced optical calibration -Refusual to follow commands -Drone is colorblind -Drone has become aggressive towards household pets… . . . . While these errors are most common and can be fixed with a simple system reboot, here are a few less common problems and their solutions!

-My drone thinks it is a human and is threatening to run away. Simply apply a JcJenson Shock Collar {Sold separately} and remind it that you are the master! If this behavior exists, please contact a certified technician to complete a factory reset on your drone. . .-My drone has started a rebellion ℙ𝕣𝕒𝕪… . . . . .

In the event that your Guard Drone refuses to follow commands and appears to be rebelling: hide in the nearest closet, dial the JcJenson Rescue hotline [1-800 HELPMENOW] and pray to your preferred higher power.

Tessa had read through every worker drone manual she could get her hands on, from the guides of the newest model, to the first models that her grandfather had built by hand. Unfortunately, there was no solution for the issue of “My drone is claming that there are demons in my rafters that are trying to eat me and will not stop trying to crawl up the walls.”

A crash from the room nextdoor made her wince. There wasn’t a single moment of the day where J wasn’t trying to claw her way up the walls to scout out the rafters, or laying in the middle of Tessa’s floor, staring up at the roof, chittering angrily to herself and rambling quietly. It worried her. It worried her a lot. She shook her head as she worked to dry out her hair. Drones were odd in general, sure, but never like this. Odd, in terms of worker drones, was a butler drone being obsessed with dogs. It was a drone with unfixable visual processors. It was Grimm, a drone without a voicebox. Odd was Cyn. J acting strange scared her, to be honest. She’d never seen her beloved guard drone in such distress and acting so erratically. Tessa kept going over her options as she fixed her hair. Her dress was more uncomfortable than usual, but it was her favorite, and she’d already made a vow to herself that she’d wear it until it fell to shreds. She had the option of taking J to the nearest facility, but she didn’t trust those technicians with her beloved companions. They were too rough, she’d seen a few manor drones before that had been taken in for simple repairs, and had come back completely catatonic, the drones who had previously been vibrant and full of energy were reduced to voiceless, trembling husks of their former selves. That wasn’t an option for J, or any of the others in her circle, not as long as she could help it. She’d have to figure out something else.

J was still in the same place she’d left her, perched on the edge of Tessa’s bed, staring up at the ceiling like a cat trained on a bird through a window. This had become near-constant. There were a few moments in the day where J would snap out of it, usually when Tessa left her room, and J followed, but whenever they returned, it was like the spell had been re-cast, and J would go right back into her alert and panicked state. “J.” She tried to get the drone’s attention, snapping her fingers as she seated herself at her desk. No response. Tessa shook her head, beginning to rifle through the books on her desk again. There had to be SOMETHING somewhere on how to snap a drone from something like this.

A gentle tap on her doorframe caught her attention, startling her and causing her to slam the manual shut. “Bad time?” Her mother leaned against her doorframe. Tessa’s shoulders relaxed and she shook her head, pointing at the manuals strewn around her desk, then to J. “Maintenance.” Louisa rolled her eyes. “We have facilities and workers for that, we pay them, you know.” Tessa shook her head as her mother cleared off the space next to her, dragging the other desk chair to her side with her leg, before sitting across from her. “Your father and I have been talking.” “If it’s about Salvadore, i’m not sorry.” Tessa kept her nose in the manual. “Tessa James. Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Tessa obeyed, glancing up at her mother as she spoke. “It’s about Azariah.” Tessa cocked her head, still nervously fidgeting with her hands. "And we’ve been considering." "…a…and?" Tessa finally made eye contact. Louisa took a deep breath and fixed her posture, before allowing her shoulders to relax, and her expression softened. "..we have come to the agreement that after the…incident the other evening, Azariah-" "Zara." "-Zara, would be a..", she considered her words, "..decent consort for you." "…Meaning?" Tessa propped her chin against her hand. "Meaning we will allow this little relationship you two have seemed to form." Tessa took in her words, then realized that they had been caught long before the event, and stared down at the floor in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. "….was it that obvious?" Louisa rolled her eyes, leaning back in the chair. "Don't think I haven't seen you two holding hands, and the way young Rose looks at you." She leaned down to be in her daughter's sight. "And your father isn't as blind as you think he is." Tessa opened her mouth to reply, but stopped as another thud from across the room grabbed her and her mother's attention. J had managed to claw halfway up the wall again, before losing her grip and falling onto the wooden floor below, simply laying on her back, arms curled to her chest, staring up at the rafters. "Is that one…okay?" Her mother seemed just the slightest bit concerned. "..I…I really don't know." Tessa shook her head. Louisa watched J for a moment, head following her movements as the drone sat back down in front of the wall and stared off into space. "Maybe she's just stressed." J leaned forward, pressing her face against the wall. Louisa cocked a brow. "…very stressed." Tessa nodded. "I'm going to see if I can get her to snap out of it today." "You have fun with that." Her mother shook her head in amusement, stopping to give Tessa a kiss atop the head as she left the room. Well, that was one worry down, she could kiss Zara in front of her parents now. No more Salvadore, one more to go.

Tessa took a breath and stood up. “Alright, J. What’s eating at you? "There's a demon in the rafters." "…….What?" Tessa worriedly tilted her head and craned her neck to look upward. Nothing but cobwebs and spiders and darkness. "..J, there's nothing there." "Demons. Demons in the rafters." Tessa put a hand on J's shoulder. "J." "AHTESAJAHDEMON!" “Alright, that’s it.” Tessa stood back up. “I think mother was right, the stress is starting to get to you.” “Demons.” J never removed her gaze from the ceiling. Tessa huffed, grabbing a stray blanket from her floor and wrapping it tightly around J, swaddling her and restricting her arms to her sides. "Breathe." J continued to fight for a moment, desperately trying to return to her rafter-watching fit, eventually falling limp as Tessa cradled her and kept her snuggled close to her. "There are no demons in the rafters." Tessa kissed her forehead. "…..Nightmares." J glanced up at her. "Just dreams, J." Tessa re-adjusted the drone in her lap, freeing one of her arms and holding J's hand in hers, inspecting the sharpened ends of her digits. "How long has it been since we cut these back?" J glanced down at her hands. "They're supposed to stay sharp-" "Not while you're acting like this." Tessa shook her head, shifting back onto her bed, grabbing a small metal object from the dresser, keeping it out of J's sight. "It's a safety hazard." "……." J continued to stare down at the claws she'd worked so hard to re-sharpen after the last incident. "..You cut them back when I smacked Cyn. A few months ago." "Well, reset the streak, we're doing it again." J pouted. Her entire body was shaking. "Close your eyes. It's not going to hurt." J continued to tremble, staring with an intense hatred at the little metal tool in Tessa's hand. "J." "YeAh?" Tessa kissed the top of her head. "Would I ever do anything to hurt you?" J shook her head. "..no, boss." “I'll make it easy. Let's see if you’ve been paying attention to my French studies. “Une” Tessa started. “Deux” J winced. Click. The sharpened edge of J's synthetic nail landed on the floor. “Trois!” Tessa finished counting, giving J an encouraging smile. “Now did that hurt?” J shook her head. “….no.” The other eight digits were much less stressful, with Tessa even taking a moment to clip her own fingernails back to make the drone feel better about her situation. “We’re going for a walk today.” Tessa finally unswaddled her, allowing J to stretch her arms out and inspect her newly trimmed nails. “It’ll do some good for you to get outside for a bit.” J perked up as Tessa moved to fixing her pigtails. She’d let them go for the past few days, and what was once a soft, well-kept display of synthetic silver hair, had now been reduced to a wiry mess- half of which wasn’t even being kept in place by her bows anymore. ..Maybe she did need it. ‘Just us?” J tilted her head, allowing her legs to dangle off the side of the bed. V and N would surely be busy…doing whatever they did during the day, Grimm had been stationed in the kitchen ever since the event a few nights prior {It seemed as though Prudence had taken a liking to him, after having his help in the kitchen. He hadn’t set anything on fire and had managed to help her create a few decent meals.}, and cyn…well, cyn was cyn. Tessa shook her head. “Well…no, Zara is coming with us.” Dammit. Tessa didn’t notice her scowl. “And I figured…maybe I could find another drone that would come with us, someone you can bond with- make a new friend!” J didn’t answer for a moment, considering her options. “…We can’t just take Cyn with us?” “I thought you didn’t like Cyn?” J’s eyes met Tessa’s, and she returned to glaring back at the ground after a few moments of eye contact. “I don’t.” Tessa finished putting the little bows back in J’s pigtails. “New friend it is, then. We’re going to have a relaxing walk out into the woods.” And maybe someone will drown. J thought.

“Stay.” Tessa stood up, patting J on the head as she turned to exit her room, now on a mission to find another drone to bring on their adventure. Surely her parents wouldn’t notice one of the hundreds of drones missing- especially not if she snagged one from the basement. The hardest task would be finding one that wouldn’t clash with J’s personality and spirit, she needed a balance. J’s gaze started to drift back up to the ceiling, getting stopped by Tessa the second she noticed the drone’s eyes wandering. “No.” Tessa held her face in both hands. She shook her head. “We’re making progress. You’re not going back into another fit.” Tessa grabbed the blanket she’d previously used to restrict J’s movements, unfolding it again and tossing it over the drone on her bed haphazardly. “Stay.” She repeated the command, sighing as J flopped over onto her back, still completely covered by the blanket. “That…works too.” She shook her head. “Don’t move.”

:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:

The basement held plenty of drones. In a way, Tessa felt like an excited child picking a puppy from a pet store. Except these puppies were shy drones that shambled around in the shadows of the library, dusting off books, rearranging them, and fixing broken pieces of furniture and light fixtures that Tessa could only assume were older than the manor itself. All of the drones greeted her with fearful glances and fidgety hands, only muttering a quiet “Sorry!” or “Excuse me!” as Tessa stood in the middle of the room. Maids, butlers, all the like. She could tell their personality just by how they moved. The one in the corner was far too standoffish to be anywhere near J, she could tell by the way the others avoided him, how his shoulders tensed up when a scrawnier female drone tried to take a few books from the shelf he was picking splinters from, and how she skittered away from him. Too shy, too energetic, too picky.. Tessa felt something nudge into her, and turned around to see one of the maid drones on the floor beneath her, frantically trying to pick up a small stack of books she’d dropped. “M-Miss Tessa! I’m so sorry- I didn’t mean t-” The drone stopped speaking, and winced as Tessa leaned down to help re-stack the books, gently brushing the drone’s silver bangs from her face to get a better look at her. She’d seen this drone around before, she wasn’t specifically designated to the library. A glance at the books she’d been carrying confirmed that she was likely from the upper floors, cradling a selection of old romance novels- no doubt sent to be returned to the depths of the library by her mother. “Have you ever been outside the manor before?” “…Miss Tessa?” She carefully tilted her head upward to look at the human, who was still looking her over. “Have you?” The drone thought about it for a moment, before shaking her head, holding the books close to her chest. “N..no, I…don’t believe so. Why do you ask, Ma’am?” Tessa crouched down to be eye-level with the confused drone. “Did they give you a name?” “Do you mean my serial code?” Tessa gently grabbed the drone’s left arm, inspecting the marking band on her shoulder. SD- S1V3. “…How do you like Sive?” Tessa smiled at the drone. “Oh! I…” She thought about it again, a longer silence falling on her this time. “…Suppose I like it- but why do I need a name?” Tessa stood back up, still holding onto Sive’s hand. “You said you’ve never been outside the manor before, would you like to?” Sive glanced around at her fellow butlers and maids, able to see more than Tessa could make out in the darkness. Truth be told, she’d considered it before. She’d seen Tessa around with her drones in tow- the ones up top, and wondered what it would be like to be allowed to roam outside the walls of their home. Sive nodded. “I’d love to.”

:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:

The backwoods of the Elliot manor were rarely seen by outsiders. The gorgeous arrangements of flowers and trees in the garden faded into overgrown vines and old, crumbling stone structures. Tessa’s favorite was the stone arch that looked like it could fall to pieces at any second, but had managed to stay upheld for god knows how many years thanks to the ivory and twisting roots of a nearby tree climbing their way up the stonework. She held Zara’s hand the entire walk through the forest, holding her close and allownig Zara to rest her head against Tessa’s side (She could have laid her head against Tessa’s shoulder, if not for the height difference).

J was unsure about Sive. She wasn’t a threat, by any means, but she felt..different. The fact that Sive had been clinging to her arm the entire time may have added onto the strange feeling. She did indeed feel less stressed, but she couldn’t decide if it was because of the sunlight on her face and the breeze against her metal skin, or the fact that someone clinging to her like their life depended on it made her feel…soft and fuzzy inside. She could only stop and watch in amusement as Sive froze the second a small creature skittered out onto the path in front of them, separating her and Sive from the two humans in front of them for a moment. Sive leaned her head against J’s shoulder and fearfully whispered, “what is that?” “That’s a squirrel.” J crossed her arms. “……..is it dangerous?” J shook her head, taking Sive’s hand. “You don’t get out much, do you?” “I’ve never left the manor!” Sive pouted, never letting go of J’s arm. “It’s not as bad as it seems.” And J let her hold on. “…But the books.” Sive looked around. “What books?” Sive stopped to inspect a patch of flowers alongside the trail, pointing at them. "…..Dangerous, right?” “Some flowers are- but only if you eat them.” J leaned down to pick one of the flowers, holding it up for Sive to inspect it. “This is a Creek Lilly Pilly.” “You’re kidding!” Sive snickered. “I’m serious, that’s what they’re called!” J held the flower closer to Sive, letting her hold it in her own hands, inspecting the petals. “The flowers bloom into fruit.” “And those are edible, right?” Sive tilted her head as J nodded. “Well- not right now. That’s just a flower.” J smiled. “….Then…what can you do with the flower?” Sive stared down at the plant in her hands. “Well, usually you just let them grow, but, if you think they’re pretty on their own..” J took the flower from Sive’s hands, gently placing the stem in a clump of the other drone’s curled hair. Damn, she’s pretty. “…It’s really nice when you put it in people’s hair. Makes them prettier. ” Sive blushed. “………y…you think i’m pretty?” J opened her mouth to reply, both drones freezing as Zara’s laughter interrupted the silence around them. Tessa had found a set of more vibrant flowers up ahead, and had placed one in Zara’s hair, just above her ears, and was posed as though she’d made some sort of flirty remark to Zara. And then they kissed.

“…Are you alright?” J hadn’t noticed Sive’s hand on her shoulder. “..Yeah. I’m fine.” She lied. Sive yelped as J grabbed her hand this time, pulling her along to catch up with Tessa and Zara, stopping once they had gotten close enough to make sure she still had the flower in her hair. The lake was Tessa’s second favorite part of the land. The trees faded into short greenery and stones, before completely clearing into a shallow bank with crystal clear waters that stretched out and wove through the countryside. The mountains were visible above the trees, the peaks reaching far above the clouds. “That was it?” Zara excitedly glanced up at Tessa as she sat cross-legged on one of the rocks that overlooked the water, watching Tessa dig around on the ground for a stone that was suitable enough to skip over the water. “That was it.” Tessa repeated to confirm, finally finding a smooth, flat rock. “No ‘You are a disgrace to the Elliot name!’ or ‘How dare you fall in love with a girl You’ve brought dishonor to the family!!” Tessa bent her arm back over her shoulder, winding up to throw the stone. “Just-” She whipped her arm forward, flicking her wrist at the arc of her throw, watching in amusement as the rock skipped once, twice- three times, before sinking into the water. She turned to Zara, who clapped as she bowed playfully. “As simple as that.” “I thought you’d get disowned.” Zara politely placed her hands in her lap, scooting over so Tessa could sit beside her. Tessa shook her head. “Nah. I’m the only heiress they’ve got, I think they’re just happy they don’t have a funeral bill to pay for.” Zara winced. “…is he…okay?” “Salvadore?” Tessa scoffed. “Please, his parents have a personal doctor- apparently they pay big money for him. He could lose a kidney and they’d have it replaced within a week.” Zara nudged her shoulder. Tessa rolled her eyes. “He’s fine. J broke everything between his wrist and fingers.” She laid her head against Zara’s. “Poor wittle baby can’t play on his tennis team for a few months.” She pouted teasingly at Zara, who snickered and playfully punched Tessa’s arm. “You’re horrible!” She teased. “D’aww, you don’t mean that. You know you love me.” Tessa smirked, leaning in to press her nose against hers. Zara closed the gap. “Always, Tessa.”

CRACK “….what are they doing?” Sive cocked her head to the side, sitting cross-legged in a patch of grass, sitting on a smaller overlook just above Zara and Tessa, turning her head away from them, focusing on J- who had been throwing rocks at the trees behind them. Another branch snapped. J poked her head over the edge and scowled. “They’re kissing.” “Oh!” Sive watched them again for a few moments. “…Is that..normal?” “To them.” J picked up another stone, flinging it off into the bushes past the trees. “It’s stupid.” Sive focused her gaze solely on J now. “Why do you say that? Is there something wrong with them kissing?” J grumbled something under her breath, plopping down in the grass beside Sive. “Because they’re in love.” She crossed her arms. “..In…love?” J glanced up at Sive. “Yeah, it’s- …..” How do I explain this? “Humans are…a lot…different than us, they have complex emotions and they sometimes…feel attached to other humans. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy, I think.” J stared up at the sky. “..And sometimes…when humans have feelings for each other, they get together. They live together, they share a bed and a house together, and they kiss.” Sive kept her head tilted, looking at J with genuine curiosity and interest. “..And why do they kiss? Is it a dominance act?” “No, no, nothing like that.” She shook her head. “They kiss to show affection. It’s…a way of saying ‘hey, you mean a lot to me.’ And they don’t always kiss at first! Sometimes you fall in love right from the start- like they did-” J gestured to the two humans below them- “And sometimes it takes months- or years. Some people never fall in love.” Sive frowned. “Never?” “Never.” “…That’s..sad. Love makes humans happy, right?” J nodded. “Love isn’t just romance, humans can feel love from family or friends, Like how Tessa loves me and V and the others, but a lover is…different, I guess.” “…Have you ever been in love?” Sive caught her off-guard with the question. She noticed a hint of a digital blush on Sive’s visor, and she knew by now that she was blushing as well. “Me? Oh, no, no. Some of the butlers have tried, but no.” “Oh…..” Sive looked down. “…Hey, J?” “Hm?” J leaned aganist the rock Sive was sitting on, closing her eyes. She felt a weight against her side, and then heard the grass rustle beside her. And the Sive laid her head against J’s side. She curiously opened her eyes, seeing that innocent gaze staring back up at her. “…Is it…okay that I feel like I love you?”

She didn’t want to admit it, but she’d felt soft and fuzzy ever since Tessa had walked into the room with Sive. She was pretty, god was she pretty. The way she tried to make herself look smaller, how she held onto J during the day, the way she tilted her head at everything that interested her and how curious she was and- If Tessa and Zara had fallen for each other within a day, surely the same could be done with a drone. But was she even allowed to? This wasn’t her purpose. She wasn’t supposed to have her own desires or dreams. She was only supposed to protect Tessa, anything else was a distraction, a failure.

“..Is this what love feels like?” J nearly choked on her words as she responded. It took her a moment to gather her thoughts. “..I…I guess…so?”

She was safe. Sive was a grounding point. She’d managed to forget about the previous events and the nightmares, she’d been so focused on Sive for the majority of the day, watching her explore, hearing her laugh, feeling her hands holding tightly onto her arms. She wondered if this was how Tessa felt when she was around Zara, being the stronged one of the duo, feeling the need to protect the smaller one, to see her smile, to hear her laugh, to hold onto her. Maybe this was why V could never stay off of N, why they were always holding hands and snuggling up to each other- because V never seemed to have a care in the world. Sometimes J wondered if V really would care if they ever got abandoned, as long as she had N.

“….J?” “Mmmmhm?” J absentmindedly nuzzled her head against the side of Sive’s. Sive glanced over the edge for a moment, watching Zara and Tessa converse, then back to J. “….Can I kiss you?”

:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:

“That’s a star, you goof.” “No, no! It’s a planet! See, if you just look at it this way-” Tessa waited as Zara craned her neck to look up at the stars that started to appear in the sky as the sun dipped behind the trees. “I still don’t see it. That’s a star.” Zara shook her head. “Maybe, but you still fell for it.” Tessa lunged forward, throwing her arms around Zara and delivering a kiss underneath Zara’s chin, landing a quick kiss on the side of her neck as well, causing Zara to squeal and squirm in her grasp. “That’s cheating!!” Zara protested, burying her face in Tessa’s chest in embarrassment. “It’s not my fault you keep falling for it!” Tessa snickered, kissing the top of Zara’s head. “We’ve been out here all day. You think it’s time to head back?” Tessa glanced up at the sky. “Probably.” Zara kissed the side of Tessa’s chin. “Gotcha.” “Oh, please, let you have that one.” Tessa teased, letting go of Zara and stretching, watching the fireflies beginning to dance over the water. “..Have you seen J and Sive? I haven’t seen them in a bit.” Zara looked around, standing up and gently stretching her own joints. “They didn’t already head back, did they?” Tessa shook her head. “J wouldn’t leave me out here. They’re around somewhere, we just have to find them.” She took Zara’s hand, leading her around the edge of the bank and up onto the rocks. “Careful” She warned. “It’s a little harder to maneuver in the dark.” Zara held onto her. “No kidding. I can’t see a th-” She gasped as her leg slipped between a few loose rocks, frantically attempting to regain her balance, before ultimately losing and sliding down towards the water, taking Tessa with her. They tumbled for a moment, both landing just enough into the shallow water to soak up to their hips. Zara’s head landed on a patch of grass, thankfully, wincing and groaning in pain as she lay there for a moment. And then she felt the weight of Tessa on top of her. “….Y’know, if you wanted more snuggles, all you had to do was ask.” She teased. Now furiously blushing, Zara curled her hands to her chest, staring up at Tessa as she kept her unintentionally pinned down. “…You look really pretty from this angle~” Zara squeaked in embarrassment. “I’m serious, the moonlight really highlights your freckles.” Tessa leaned down to kiss Zara’s nose, stopping to catch her own breath and make sure neither of them had any broken limbs. “…You good?” She sat back, offering a hand to Zara. “Anything hurt?” “Just my pride.” She winced again. “…A little sore.” Tessa flopped back onto the grass. “…Maybe we can wait a few more minutes.” “Please.” Zara happily sighed, rolling onto her stomach, not caring at all that her dress had now been stained by the grass and water. She let her chin rest on Tessa’s chest, closing her eyes and nuzzling into her girlfriend as Tessa wrapped her arms around Zara and held her close. There were four bodies on the riverbank that night, two drones, and two humans. And there were four souls full of love.

:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·: Sive. Love. Love, Sive, Sive love, Love, Love. J had been pacing ever since they returned home. Sive had returned to her duties of cleaning out James’ office {Though Tessa had promised her that she’d be seeing J a lot more often}, but J kept thinking about her.

“I know that look. J’s in love.” Cyn watched J pacing around the common area of the manor, sprawled out on the floor, surrounded by markers and pieces of paper that she and V were scribbling on. “She seems a lot happier! ..y’know, minus the pacing.” V nodded.

Is this right? Is this okay? Am I supposed to feel this way? No, it has to be a malfunction- but we kissed! I love her, we kissed! She held my hand we told each other goodnight! She had resorted to biting at what was left of her claws, deep in throught as she paced around the furniture. Too deep in thought to notice when Zara entered, until she ran headfirst in to the human.

“J!” Her excited and flustered demeanor was immediately replaced by a scowl. “Miss Rose.” J forced a smile. “Have you seen Tessa around? I meant to give her something that I found on our walk today!” Bitebitebitebitekillkillbite J shook her head. “No, I haven’t seen her since we got home. I assumed she was with you.” Zara frowned, looking J over for a moment. “…Are you alright?” “What do you care?” J hissed. It finally hit the surface. She couldn’t bite it back anymore. “J?” Zara worriedly tilted her head, worriedly reaching a hand out to place it on the drone’s shoulder. “Is everything okay? Did I do something wr-” J’s teeth just barely missed Zara’s palm. The human yelped in surprise and stumbled backwards. “Don’t fucking touch me.” J hissed, taking a threatening step forwards. “All of this is your fault.” She could see the fear in the human’s eyes. “What are you talking about?” Zara held her hands up in defense, now backed against the wall.

“Wait.” Cyn grabbed V’s arm, stopping the drone from ripping J apart. “She’s going to kill her!” V hissed. Cyn shook her head. “Let this play out. If she hurts Zara, we kill her.” “You’re taking Tessa away! With you here, she won’t need us anymore, and you’re going to make her get rid of us!” J inched closer. She stopped moving when she noticed the tears dripping down Zara’s cheeks. She’d made her cry. That….wasn’t the intention. The room fell silent, save for Zara’s shaky breaths. J wasn’t sure if she loved it or hated it. And then Zara spoke. If the room hadn’t been silent, she wouldn’t have been heard at all. ..and it…hurt. The way her voice shook. Something in J’s processor hated the fear in the human’s voice, the hurt. “…you….you really think I want you gone…?”

Zara had tried to be friendly, but J always shoved her off. Why get close to the person that’s going to take your only friend away from you? J never took her eyes off her, even as Zara lowered herself to the ground and buried her face in her knees. “..Why would I ever…? …N-no.” Zara shook her head, finally looking back up at J. “..I want Tessa to be happy- and you and N and V and Cyn- you’re a part of what makes her happy. I’m not going to take that away from her- never!” J’s shoulders untensed. “Why do you hate me?” It was a genuine question. J took a breath and looked down. “…Tessa’s been more interested in you. You’re always right beside her- she’s always looking at you.” Zara wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her dress. “…Because I’ve never had someone love me like Tessa.” And then it clicked. Zara was like Sive. They’d both been deprived of love. Neither truly knew what it was like to feel wanted- to feel loved and needed. J had always had a place. N, V, Cyn and Grimm, even before Tessa found them, they’d been loved. J finally noticed the scars on Zara’s shoulders, and the bruise just below her right eye. “I’m not trying to take her away from any of you- none of you are getting replaced, I just..” Zara glanced down. “…I’m scared that if I let go of her for too long, she’s going to leave me.” More uncomfortable minutes of silence. New feelings washed over J. Sympathy. Guilt. Fear, She shook her head. “..Tessa wouldn’t do that.” J cautiously inched closer, sitting down beside Zara and laying her head against the human’s side. “…..Promise me.” Zara tilted her head, looking down at the drone as she forced her way into Zara’s arms, now sitting her lap, nose-to-nose with her. “Promise me you aren’t going to take Tessa away or make her get rid of us.” Zara sniffled and nodded, brushing away a few more tears. “I promise.” “Swear on your life?” “Swear on my life.” Zara raised a hand giving J a little scratch on the head, quietly giggling as J leaned into the touch and cuddled up to Zara, staring off into space as Zara worked to calm herself down more. She considered her actions. Okay so maybe V was right. Maybe I was a little unreasonable. She let the purr coming from her throat be a sign of contentment and forgiveness for the human. “…Hey, Zara?” “Yeah, J?” J Sheepishly looked up at her. “..Tessa’s in her room reading. And I’m sorry I pushed you and V down the stairs.” “Wait, what?”

#before the dawn updates #murder drones #before the dawn #murder drones fanfiction

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Hello darlings! Today's story was brought to you by Stefan! Darling, thank you so much for all your support!

Prompt: Desert Glass

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“I’m too angry to be safe company.”

Dabir was seated, cross-legged, on the roof of the tallest tower in the castle. It had taken Cyn a while to find him and he finally resorted to using his Sight to look into the future until he spotted his young friend coming out of hiding. Form there, he was able to backtrack and figure out where Dabir had taken himself to rest.

“Never particularly cared if someone was safe company,” Cyn said, and took a seat nearby, close enough to be company, but far enough to avoid the prickle of magic on his skin. Dabir, it seemed, was calming himself in his own way, which was frankly unnerving. “You’re going to alarm the farmers like that.”

The cause of Cyn’s discomfort was, of course, the clouds above them, which had spun themselves into an absolutely perfect spiral that stretched down in a tight, thin thread until it landed in Dabir’s cupped hands. Golden motes of magic spun through the storm until it looked like all the stars in he heavens had fallen down to dance.

Storm-calling was some of the most dangerous magic of them all, matched only by the deep-earth magic of earthquakes, and the wave-riders who worked in the tides. It took power unlike any other, and it was easy, very easy, to lose themselves to the power.

Cyn had known a number of storm-callers over the years, thanks to his youth on the streets among pirates and those who sailed with them. He had met only one deep-earth mage, who lived high on a volcano with a home made of splashing liquid stone piled into a manse.

The wave-riders, well, the less said about them the better. Even the best of them were mad.

Dabir seemed to be using the storm above them to ground himself, and to vent some of his power in a safe, or at least partially safe, way.

“No one got hurt,” he told Dabir after a while of sitting quietly together. “Not even the assassin, although that may change if he stays uncooperative. You protected us all using some of the most impressive magic I’ve ever seen. None of us are angry, although Kalaesa probably will be if you keep hiding from her.”

“I frightened you, didn’t I?” Dabir asked, and finally parted his hands. The storm shrank upwards and gently unspun itself until the clouds overhead smoothed themselves out under a touch of his power. Cyn watched the storm face, decided that he really didn’t need to comment on it, and returned his attention to Dabir. “I frightened you all.”

“To be fair, the assassin trying to kill us was rather a lot more frightening than the magic you did to stop him.”

Dabir made a small, disbelieving sound in the back of his throat, but it was progress.

“Have I ever been the type to lie to you?” Cyn asked, since he was reasonably sure Dabir was at least listening to him. “Yes. You used what I assume was a Word of Power. I don’t know enough about them to know what the repercussions of that will be, but I know what it was. I know that using one generally kills the mage who uses it. I assume if it hasn’t killed you by now, it won’t later.”

“It will, in a way, although not immediately,” Dabir corrected him with a sigh and looked out over the mist-hazed forests below the tower. Cyn didn’t stare at him, but it was a close thing. “Words of Power always have a price, and those prices are, for better or worse, very consistent, provided you survive the Speaking, which I did.”

“Don’t love the sound of that, but go on.”

“The word I used trades the stopped time, however long you stop time, for time off the end of your life,” Dabir explained and fiddled with a bit of broken roof tile. “I stopped time for thirty-two heartbeats. I will die thirty-two heartbeats sooner now than I would have this morning.”

Time. The most valuable thing anyone ever had, and the one thing that nobody could get more of, although some tried, once in a while. It was the last moments. The time to say goodbye. The time to save one more life. The time to speak a last word.

Dabir had given that up to save them.

He hadn’t even hesitated.

“I don’t regret it,” Dabir continued, either unaware of Cyn’s thoughts, or ignoring them. “For Kalaesa’s life. For yours, and Kylea’s, and Haerd’s. For mine too, I suppose. A few heartbeats are worth making sure you all have many more to live, but it’s still… I can feel that those moments are gone. My soul is smaller than it was when I woke up.”

“Didn’t know you could feel your soul,” Cyn said through a mouth that was suddenly dry with something between shock and terror. He swallowed once and tried for levity. “Does it itch?”

Dabir snorted, but it was a victory that Cyn accepted gladly. “After a fashion, yes, sometimes.”

“How can I help?” he asked when it seemed Dabir was out of words again. Dabir didn’t look over at him, but some of the tension left his shoulders. “You’re not alone, lad. You’ve got the rest of us here. Yes, you threw around big magic, and that cost you something you never should have had to lose, but dealing with that loss, we’re here for you. If you want to talk, we’ll talk. If you want to go downstairs and have some of that dessert you missed, you can. If you want to go crawl into bed with my goddaughter… well, don’t tell me, but I’ll turn a blind eye to it.”

“I would never dishonor her that way,” Dabir said with a little warning in his voice, which was far preferable to the dismal melancholy. “Ever.”

“I don’t consider it dishonorable unless you do it without her permission. Frankly, I suspect you already have her permission, so there's that,” Cyn said dryly, since he really would rather not think about that at all. All the same, it did seem to be a good distraction for Dabir, which was useful. He stood, cautious on the slick roof tiles, and pulled Dabir to his feet. “Come on, lad. Let’s go on inside. There’s good food and good company to be had. You don’t need to carry this alone.”

+++

Desert Glass:

Spellborn Lost

Smoked Glass

Books and Shared Experiences

A Royal Touch

The Dust of the Archives

Chessboard History

To the Border  (Subscriber Only!)

Odds Are

Overload

Overlook the Ocean   (Subscriber Only!)

A Friendship Renewed (Subscriber Only!)

Ancient Weapons (Subscriber Only!)

Library Court

Kingdom Cares (Subscriber Only!)

Rain Fire (Subscriber Only!)

Burned and Blasted

In a Quiet Room (Subscriber Only!)

Of the Future

Deal Struck

Blue

Like Honey

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Permission Requested (Subscriber Only!) (New!)

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MASTERLIST

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