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morganski-19 · 6 months

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I Don’t Know Which Way’s Home

Chapter 4: Running Away

ao3 link, Part 1, Part 3

Cw: domestic abuse and mentions of child abuse

April 1983

“How many times have I told you that tips go to me,” David yells from the other room.

It's just another one of the many screaming matches between him and Julie’s mom. The third boyfriend in Julie’s lifetime to escalate yelling at her mom for various things, and the second to demand her tips.

“Those tips aren’t for you. You didn’t earn them, I did,” her mom screams back. “Julie needs new clothes soon; I need those tips.”

She doesn’t know where her mom finds them to be honest. Every time she brings a new guy over, they reek of booze and cigarettes, and they have an unmaintained, greasy mullet to make them look like every bad guy in a sitcom. They’re happy for a month before things get sour. Her mom ends up hurt, emotionally and physically, until her breaking point is hit, and they’re tossed to the curb. Metaphorically as there is never enough room for the boyfriends to move into the trailer. She’s thankful for that.

“That bitch doesn’t need anything, she’s already a spoiled brat.”

But no matter what her mom never seems to find someone who will actually treat her right. Julie pleads with her after each one, tries to tell her that she doesn’t have to be treated like this. Ever since she was old enough to understand that this was wrong, it’s all she would repeat. But her mom never believed that anyone would actually want a single mom who could barely get by on her own. So, she kept bringing home dirtbags time and time again.

“Do not call my daughter a bitch.”

“Why not, you raised her. No wonder she’s a bitch.”

As much as Julie tries, she can’t ignore the screaming match anymore. She shuts her textbook as loudly as she can without them hearing it through the walls, but she doubts that they would over themselves. Grabbing her jacket from the closet and her latest notebook, she carefully opens her window and climbs out.

This isn’t the first time she’s done this, and it probably won’t be the last. The first time she underestimated the height of the window and ended up spraining her ankle. So, she learned and placed a few old milk crates underneath so she could step out more easily. It got better when she got taller too, spiking up to one of the tallest girls in her class.

When her feet hit the solid ground, she took a moment to make sure that they didn’t hear her. But the screaming has only escalated, so she takes her chance.

Turning on her heel and facing the woods, she runs into them, going to the only spot that makes her feel safe at times like these.

. . .

Present Day

“You did what,” Robin asks, standing frozen across the room from him.

“I kissed Eddie,” he admits.

“Just kissed him?” she asks giving him a look that already tells him that she knows.

Steve’s eyes look everywhere except at hers. “We might have also slept together.”

“And you didn’t immediately tell me afterward,” she exclaims, waving her arms around in the air. “We,” motioning between her and Steve, “are platonic soulmates, who are supposed to tell each other everything. And you neglected to tell me, for literal days, that you not only kissed but slept with, the guy that you’ve been pining after for months.”

He rolls his eyes. “I have been not pining for him for months-.”

“You absolutely have,” she interrupts, “and the tension between you two have been insufferable to sit through. Every single movie night has been you two stealing glances, casually touching each other far too many times for it to be considered normal or platonic, and essentially undressing each other with your eyes. With your eyes, Steven.” She puts her hands on her hips and glares at him again, fully exhausted from this bullshit.

Worst part is that she has part of a point. Yes, Steve has liked Eddie for a while and yes, he did realize that he is attracted to guys a long time ago. But the other guys he was attracted to were surface-level stuff, nothing like this. The feelings he has for Eddie are a lot deeper than anything he’s had in the past few years. And with all of the dug-up feelings about his dad, he didn’t think he was going to do anything about it soon.

Going over to Eddie’s that day wasn’t thought out all that well. He was stuck in all of the thoughts that he would get in high school. How nothing he ever did was enough to get his dad to notice him. Nothing would get his mom to come home. So, he decided that they shouldn’t be the reason to have this. Because as much as he wanted to pretend, their voices were still in the back of his mind telling what to do that would make him, and them, look good in the eyes of the public.

It wasn’t until his lips finally locked with Eddie’s that those thoughts finally started to dissipate. But is he ready for whatever he has, will have, with Eddie. That he’s still not so sure of.

“Ok, ok you’re right. I should have told you.”

“Well, that was obvious,” she walks up closer to him and gives him a knowing look. “Now can you tell me what’s actually going on up there? Cause sleeping with him was one thing, the way you’re looking like a kicked puppy is another.”

Steve takes a deep breath. “What if I’m not ready for this?”

“Being with a guy is different than being with a girl. So, depending on what you did, I’m sure that he’d be careful with you going forward so you don’t just jump into it and-.”

“That’s not it,” he cuts her off. “I-. The last time I felt like this about someone, I got my heart broken. And with everything that’s coming back up with my dad, with Julie. What if it was a mistake sleeping with him now was the wrong thing to do?”

Robin’s face softens. “If you think that everything else that’s going on in your life right now is too much and adding a new relationship on top of that will only add to that, I think he would understand. Just talk to him about it.”

“I know,” he presses the heels of his hands against his eyes. “I know you’re right. But I feel so stupid for giving him hope for something I’m not ready for yet.”

The walkie on his counter crackles. “Hey Steve, it’s Julie. Is it ok if I come over?”

Steve picks up the walkie and hits the call button. “Yeah, you can come over.”

“Ok, thanks.”

“When did you give her a walkie?”

“The last time she was over here, thought it’d be a good idea. We’ve been talking on it a lot, actually.”

Robin smiles. “You two are getting closer then?”

“I’d say so. It’s still kinda weird knowing that I’ve had a sibling this whole time, but it’s nice.”

“That’s good, I’m glad this is working out.”

“Me too.”

Steve hears a knock at the door and goes to answer it, Julie standing on the other side. “Is it ok if I leave my bike on the lawn?”

“Yeah sure, that was fast.”

“I might have been most of the way here already before I checked to see if it was ok.”

He moves out of the way to let her through the door, closing it after her. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah, it’s just,” she sighs. “School and everything, didn’t want to go to that house after.”

“Wanna talk about it?” He asks, walking back to the living room where Robin is.

“Hey, Julie,” she says.

“Hey,” Julie plops onto the end of the couch. “Maybe, I don’t know. It’s just. So, I’m sixteen right, and the oldest kid in that house so they treat me like the babysitter, all the time. And they’re drunks that can barely look after themselves and now add three kids to that mix, so I’m pretty much doing everything. And like, I don’t mind doing the dishes or making my own dinner or doing the laundry. But they shouldn’t get to treat me like their maid just because they’re too drunk to get off their ass.”

Steve and Robin shared a worried look. “That sucks,” he says, not quite sure what else to.

“Yeah,” she says while picking at the skin around her nails. “It does.”

“Is there anyone you can talk to about getting you and the other kids out of that house?” Robin asks.

Julie nods. “I mentioned it to my case worker at our last meeting, said she would look into it. Don’t know how long that’s going to take though.”

“We can talk to Hopper to see if he can do anything about it if you want.”

“I don’t want to bother you too much with it, it’s fine. Just frustrating.”

He wants to push more but doesn’t. She looks like she doesn’t want to talk about it, and they just started really getting along. So, he changes the topic, and they talk until Julie says she wants to get some homework done. He lets her stay and do it in the kitchen, him and Robin being left in the living room by themselves.

“Are you going to do anything about that?” Robin whispers, leaning forward to keep it private between them.

“I want to, but what do I do? I don’t want to make it worse for her by saying something.”

Robin presses her lips together. “Yeah, that wouldn’t be good.”

“I think I’m just going to tell her to come over as often as she wants. I mean I wouldn’t mind, and I trust her to be alone in the house if I’m not here.”

“But that’s not going to make it any better for when she goes back.”

“There’s nothing I can do right now that would let her stay past curfew, or even for a night. That would only end up in another missing kid report and her being brought back by Hopper.”

“Steve,” she looks at him with a soft gaze. “What do you really want to do? Cause I think I know, you just haven’t said it.”

Steve sighs, running a hand through his hair. He has thought about it, pretty much since that first night he met her. But considering this house isn’t his and the fear that his dad would come home any minute and find her here, it never seemed like a real option. And what government official would let a twenty-year-old without a full-time job, getting by living off his parent’s money take custody of a kid.

He thought that maybe after some time, some effort on his part, he could maybe get it together enough to do it. If they got a long and both wanted to. But that house is treating her and those other kids horribly. He wants to do something to help all of them, get the other kids in a better home and maybe take Julie in.

It all didn’t seem possible, but maybe it was time to try.

“I don’t know if she wants that. And even if she did, I have no idea where to start.”

“Well, even though it probably didn’t go through all the right channels, we do know someone who adopted a kid. Talk to him, he might be able to help.”

He takes a deep breath. “I’ll think about it.”

Robin reaches to cover his hand with hers. “And while you’re at it. Think about what you want to do with Eddie too. You’re not giving him false hope, I promise that. You still want this, you just have some other things you want to take care of before starting a relationship.”

“You’re right,” he nods. “I’ll talk to him soon, promise.”

Julie knocks on the doorway. “Hey, I’m going to head out. Curfew is earlier for school days.”

“I can drive you back if you want,” Steve says, already standing up.

“No, it’s ok. I’d rather go myself. Thanks though.” She turns to head to the door, Steve following her.

“Just so you know,” he says before she opens the door. “You’re welcome over here after school anytime, if you want to get your work done without being in the house. If I’m not home, I leave the back door open most of the time, so you can come in through that way.”

“You’re ok with me breaking into your house when you’re not here,” she asks.

He shrugs. “Yeah, I know you enough to trust you. It’s no pressure or anything, but if you like it here more than there, I’d rather you be where you’re safe instead of going somewhere else.”

She looks at him with a confused glare, processing what he said. “Ok, thank you. I might stop by again tomorrow then, I have a paper due.”

“You’re welcome here, Julie, any time. You don’t have to feel like you’re bothering me because you’re not. Promise.”

Julie just nods, closing the door behind her. Steve takes a deep breath, heading back to Robin and trying not to think about what he knows he’s going to do.

. . .

Julie looks like a mess. Leaves are stuck in her hair and her clothes are all rumpled. And there is an ache in her back from sleeping on a hard surface. But what else did she expect from sleeping on a park bench. It beats going back to that house then, so she’ll suffer until third period when she can use the gym showers to get the park off her.

Shivering, she combs out her hair with her fingers, pulling it back into a short braid. She goes to the bike rack she parked at and unlocks her bike, mounting it and heading toward the school.

When she gets there, she rushes to the bathroom to change her clothes, hoping no one notices the difference. She makes it through her first two periods, trying to keep her eyes open and pay attention. Her grades have already slipped, she can’t afford to miss another lecture.

Third period rolls around, and she gets changed for gym, thanking the teacher for giving them an easy day of just doing exercises with a partner.

Jane, the girl Max was talking to, approaches her. “The teacher said I cannot keep skipping class and sitting with Max on the bleachers. Can I partner with you?”

“Sure,” Julie shrugs. They travel around the circle that the teacher made, tossing basketballs to each other meaningless activities. Jane is shy, but Julie doesn’t blame her. She is too most of the time.

After class she takes a quick shower, rubbing the last two nights of sleeping on park benches off of her and getting the rest of the leaves out of her hair. The rest of the day is monotonous and all she wants it to go home. But home isn’t home anymore and no where she goes even compares to the comfort she once felt in her own room.

Well everywhere except for Steve’s. But she knows that comfort is different. It still isn’t the same as walking through her trailer door and seeing her mom’s things scattered around, smelling the dinner she made before going to work or hearing the music she’s playing from the radio. The conversations aren’t as effortless, and the life just isn’t there. It’s not her home, nowhere is.

It’s cruel to try and compare anything to her old house. It’s cruel to try and chase the feeling of comfort that her mom gave her in anyone. She knows that nothing will ever compare to her mom. But she can’t help but keep searching to find something else that is close to it.

Steve is an interesting addition to her life. For the past month she’s had to grapple with the fact of her who her dad was, and that she had a sibling across town who didn’t even know she existed. From what she’s heard about her dad, she never expected his son to be like Steve. From what she can imagine, Steve is nothing like his father, and Julie’s happy that is true.

If Steve was like his father, he wouldn’t have left the back door open for her so she could come into his house while he was at work. He wouldn’t have left a note telling her that there is a sandwich in the fridge if she’s hungry, or that she’s welcome to anything in the pantry. She wouldn’t have even been able near the house at all.

Their relationship is still new, still uncertain. Sure, they get along, but there is so much of their lives and experiences that are different that they haven’t even touched on. There is so much more to Julie that she has even yet to share. She’s trying to open up, trying to create some sort of bond with him. There’s this want inside of her to have a family again, to come home to a house through the front door and not immediately be yelled at to clean up a spill. To come home and feel like it’s a home.

She can recognize that Steve is trying to do that with her, trying to create someplace that she wants to be. To get to know her because they are one in the same. Two kids from the same dad who never stayed long enough to get to know them, she can at least assume. Both trying so hard to fill something they’ve always wanted, but never had.

Julie stays for as long as she’s supposed to, heading out the way she came in and picking up her bike from where she left it in the woods. She’s out of clothes so she can’t just go to the park afterward like she did yesterday. So, she prepares for what will happen if her presence is known when she gets home.

Honestly, she’s surprised that they didn’t notice that she was gone for two whole days. It’s probably because the other kids were in school and doing work, so they were quieter. The time they sent the cops after her was a Saturday, so they realized their babysitter was missing. It just meant she had to be smart with what days she doesn’t go back.

When she parks her bike on the lawn of her foster home, she’s ready for the verbal onslaught that she’s sure to happen.

“Where’ve you been?” Janice mutters over her cigarette, lounging on the couch.

“At a friend’s,” Julie responds quickly.

“Lucky, we don’t call the cops on you again. Bathroom needs cleaning.”

Julie mentally rolls her eyes. “I’m not your maid,” she mutters under her breath.

Going to the room she shares with Molly she takes out her dirty clothes and exchanges them out with new ones. Then heads to the bathroom, so it doesn’t turn ugly. Better she complies now so they don’t notice her missing tomorrow.

“You didn’t come home last night,” Molly says quietly. “Or the night before.”

“No, I didn’t,” Julie says while scrubbing the toilet.

“They noticed, I lied for you.”

Julie sits back, looking at the girl she barely knows. Molly isn’t much younger than her, but she shouldn’t have to cover for Julie’s choices. Especially when Mark’s temper is as short as a stubbed-out cigarette.

“Don’t do that again, I don’t want you getting hurt for me.”

“I won’t. Me and Oliver got adopted a week ago we’re leaving on Saturday.”

As much as that will only put more attention on her, she can’t help from smiling. At least their getting out and going to someone who will care for them a hell of a lot more that Janice and Mark would. “I’m happy for you.”

“Are you going to be ok here by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine, Molly.”

Molly walks away, leaving Julie to clean the bathroom alone. She just hopes that when the two of them leave it will be the last kids that come through this house, leaving her to deal with it alone.

A small part of her hopes that she won’t be here that much longer either, but she can’t be sure. So, she shoves the hope down and just goes back to scrubbing.

. . .

Steve didn’t exactly plan for this to happen when he invited Eddie over. What he did plan was to tell him that things needed to slow down between them because he was in no place to start a relationship with him. Not after all the old baggage that he has with his dad, and definitely not with the information Julie told him earlier.

Because in his mind, he’s going to do whatever he can to get Julie out of that house. And if he’s lucky, maybe get her to live with him.

So that means a lot of outside work from him with protocols that he has no knowledge of, but he knows it’s too much. So, he was going to invite Eddie over and explain it to him gently. Until he didn’t.

Instead, he’s here with Eddie’s tongue down his mouth and his hands all over Steve, making his mind hazy in the way he likes. So hazy that he can’t bring himself to stop Eddie, and instead just folds and kisses him back as hard as he can.

It’s a stupid, reckless decision that will probably just hurt both of them in the end. But he can’t seem to stop it.

That is until there’s a banging on his door that’s hard enough to knock it down.

“The hell,” Eddie says as he pulls away from Steve. “Was anyone supposed to come over?”

“No,” Steve answers, untangling his fingers from Eddie’s hair.

Eddie slips his hands out from underneath Steve’s shirt as another round of pounding comes from the door. “Should you go get that?”

“Probably, stay here ok.”

Steve goes to the front door, running a hand through his hair and fixing himself to make him look presentable. He opens the door to two people he’s never seen before, both extremely angry.

“Can I help you,” he asks confused.

“Where is she?” the man spits out, fists clenched.

“Who? I know a lot of people.”

The man gives him a cold stare that makes him want to strengthen his stance. “Julie, the bitch ran away again. Thought she’d be here.”

Steve raises his eyebrows at the name he called her, appalled. “Don’t know who you’re talking about,” he feigns innocence.

“We know about you two,” the women slurs. “We know that she was here the first time, she has to be here again.”

“Look,” Steve says, making himself look bigger. “I haven’t seen her in a few days. I’m sure she’s just out somewhere and will be back soon.”

“Well, we haven’t seen her since Thursday. It’s Saturday,” the man growls, eyes full of anger.

Fear shoots through Steve at the thought of Julie roaming around town finding empty benches to sleep on. He thinks back to the past few days and not once did he ever give her a ride home. She always refused, riding away on her bike before he could convince her. Because she knew he would wait to watch her go inside the house, like he always does. And she didn’t want that.

“I have no clue where she it,” Steve asserts, enunciating every word clearly. “She’s not here, so I can’t help you.”

He has to get to her before they do. Has to call Hopper and get a search party out there before they do. Because there is no way he is letting Julie go back to a house that is dangerous.

“Fine, we’ll just have to go around looking for her then.” The man stomps off, the women following close behind.

Steve shuts the door as gently as he can, adrenaline rushing through him. As soon as it shuts, he quickly runs to put his shoes on, rummaging around to find his keys.

“Hey, you ok?” Eddie asks, coming into the front room concerned.

“No,” Steve asks, patting down his pockets to see if his keys are there. “That was Julie’s foster parents, they haven’t seen her since Thursday. I haven’t either. Where are my keys.”

“Fuck, hold on.” Eddie runs to the kitchen and comes back holding Steve’s keys. “Here. Take a breath ok, we’ll find her.”

Steve takes the keys, breathing heavy at this point, heart rate slowly increasing more and more. “They were so angry, Eds. Like terrifying. The guy looked like he was about to beat me up if she was here, what is he going to do to her?”

“Nothing,” Eddie cups Steve’s face in his hands, forcing him to look at his eyes. “They are going to do nothing to her because we are going to find her first. We’ll take my van and look around, ok.”

“Yeah ok,” Steve says, the panic slowly fading with Eddie’s touch.

They go to Eddie’s van, him speeding out of the drive and to the nearest park. The benches are all empty to they check the next, which is also empty. Steve tries to think of places she would go, the library, video store, diner. Anywhere where she might be. Each place coming up empty.

“Where could she be?” he says after the last failed attempt, panic rising again.

“Wait, hold on. I remember something,” Eddie pulls out of the parking spot and starts to head toward the trailer part. “I would see her run into the woods behind the trailer park sometimes when her mom was fighting with one of her boyfriends. I never said anything at the time, but it’s the only place I can think of.”

. . .

Julie sits on a fallen log in the woods behind her old trailer. The familiarity of coming out here covering her like a hug, even if those moments weren’t the best. They were hers. Ones she shared before her life was irreversibly changed. Back when everything was normal.

Here she was always safe, away from the chaos and in her own little world. She would sit on this log and write her latest story, do some homework, or just sit and listen. It was her place, and she missed it.

She knows what day it is, knows that Janice and Mark noticed that she was missing. Molly and Oliver were adopted today, which means that a case worker went to the house to pick them up, and hopefully went inside. She wasn’t there to pick anything up, and she was sure that no one else did. With all of the beer bottles and junk that made a constant mess around the house, there was no way that the two of them passed.

At least she hoped.

But with that, Julie knows that nothing would be done instantly except for make Janice and Mark angry. An official investigation and a few more surprise visits would have to happen before they got blacklisted from fostering. Her case worker explained it all to her when she made the initial complaint. That was weeks ago, and nothing has changed, so she forced it to. Even at her own safety.

Her head picks at rustling leaves as someone approaches. Fear shoots through her and she debates running, scared that she was finally found by the people she was running from. But as Steve emerges from the trees, relief visibly going through his mind, she stays.

He doesn’t say anything, just walks over to her and sits down. The sit there for a moment in silence before he finally says something.

“I had the pleasure of meeting your foster parents today. If I didn’t get why you hated them before, I definitely do now.”

She sighs. “I didn’t know they would go to you.”

“I wouldn’t of either,” he says with a shake of his head. “How long have you been lying to me about going back there?”

He says it in a way that reminds her of her mom. Not anger, just concern with the want to understand why. “About a week.”

“Any reason that they suddenly noticed it now?”

Julie picks at her thumb, the skin so broken up it could start to bleed. “The other two kids that were there got adopted and picked up today. So, I made sure I was gone so the mess would still be there when the case worker got there. And if I wasn’t there and they didn’t know where I was, something might actually get done about it.”

Steve huffs. “That’s bravely stupid. You and I might be more similar than you think.”

She lightly laughs, finally looking at him and seeing the worry still painted on his face. He worries for her, he cares. It’s been a while since anyone did.

“Look,” he sighs. “I know there’s probably nothing I can say to get you to stop running away. But I don’t want you out on the street every night. This town might seem safe, but it can be real dangerous, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I can’t go back there,” she says shakier than she wants. “I hate it there.”

He looks away from her, letting out a deep breath. “You know, there’s this shed in my backyard I don’t go in that much anymore. Has the heater and tools for the pool and that’s been closed for a month know. But I also use it for storage, so there’s a bunch of blankets and maybe even a cot on the one side away from all of the chemicals. I don’t think I would notice if someone would slip in there at night. And you know, if I left one of the windows open, or even the back door, if someone were to slip in after I went to sleep and left before I got up, I’m not sure I would know.”

She smiles at him, a real smile this time. “Thank you,” she says, bumping her arm with his.

“I didn’t do anything, just told you some basic facts.” He smiles back, keeping the true meaning of what he meant unsaid. “I know you don’t want me to, but I am going to call Hopper to go talk to your foster parents and make sure they don’t do anything. I can’t ensure that it would be permanent, but at least for the night.”

“That’s probably for the best. Maybe have me drop him off too, that way they don’t know that you found me.”

Steve nods, standing up. “Come on, I’ll take you back to my place while I call him.”

Julie stands, grabbing her bag from where it rested on the log and follows him. They meet back up with Eddie who is leaning idly on his van, smiling when he sees Julie them. He doesn’t say anything, just enters his van and waits for them to do so too. The drive back is filled by Steve trying to mess with Eddie’s radio stations while Eddie swats his hands away, claiming to already calming the music down for him. Steve eventually gives him, staying silent for the rest of the ride.

When they get to Steve’s house, Julie goes to the kitchen to wait for the inevitable, Steve stopping in the hall to call Hopper. It isn’t much longer until the chief arrives, taking Julie back to her foster house with a promise that they aren’t going to do anything to her if he has a say in it.

She doesn’t quite know what he says, her retreating to her now empty room before he talks to Mark and Janice. But when she comes down to try and get some food and sees Mark almost flinching as she walks by, it must have been good.

. . .

“She’s ok, kid. I put the fear of god in them, but if they as so much as hurt a hair on her head, you tell me and I’ll make sure that they’re locked up.”

Relief fills Steve as he leans against the wall, thankful that this situation is over. “Thank you, Hop. It means a lot to me.”

“It’s no problem. And as far as I’m concerned, if she’s at your house, she won’t be reported as missing. As long as they don’t get the case worker involved, but she wasn’t too happy with them when I called her up either.”

“That’s something.”

“I gotta go but call me if anything happens. And if you need anything, Steve, you let me know, ok?”

“Yeah, ok.”

Steve hangs up the phone, already making a plan for what he wants to do in his head.

“You’re going to try and get custody of her, aren’t you,” Eddie asks, walking up to him.

He turns to look at him, crossing his arms. “Yeah, I am.”

Eddie huffs. “Thought as much. You could talk to Wayne if you wanted, ask him how it was getting custody of me.”

“I might take you up on that.” Steve takes a deep breath, preparing himself for what he has to say next. “There was actually something that I needed to talk to you about.”

Eddie nods. “I was expecting that.”

Steve walks up to Eddie, getting close to him and wanting to reach out and touch him, but he knows the moment he does what he needs to say won’t happen. “Look, Eddie, I really like you. More than I have anyone in a long time, and I really want to have something with you sometime.”

“But,” Eddie cuts in, sounding resigned.

“But, with all the stuff that’s been dragged up from my past with my dad that I have to deal with all over again, and now with Julie. It’s too much for me to be in a relationship right now. I can’t be worried about her and how things are going between us at the same time. There’s still a lot of things that I have to work through when it comes to being in relationships still, and I can’t do everything at once. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Eddie reaches out to touch his arm, stuttering before realizing that it’s ok. “I want this, whatever it is with you. And I get needing to wait before everything calms down again. It’s a not right now, not a not ever. I can deal with that.”

Steve looks at him, feeling the urge to just say fuck it and lean in to kiss him again. Take back everything he said and just jump right in headfirst. But Steve knows that this is for the best. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. You have no idea how much I like you, have wanted a night like a week ago to happen. I can wait a little bit longer if that means that this might actually have a chance.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem, Steve.”

Eddie leans forward and gives him a chaste kiss, this time being the last for right now. A goodbye to the small romance they had, if they could even call it that, as they go back to being friends. For just now, Steve promises.

Part 5

Tag list(let me know if you want to be added or removed): @homoerotictangerine, @mugloversonly, @thesuninyaface, @imyelenasexual, @anaibis, @ilovecupcakesandtea, @brainsteddielyrotted, @jackiemonroe5512, @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @cinnamon-mushroomabomination, @lolawonsstuff, @writingandmushroomdragons, @stevesbipanic, @sierra-violet, @steddie-as-they-go, @dauntlessdiva, @mousedetective, @the-daydreamer-in-the-corner, @zombiethingy, @connected-dots-st-reblogger, @that-agender-from-pluto, @allyricas, @cheddartreets, @devondespresso, @crypticcorvidinacottage, @queenie-ofthe-void @chronicpainstevetruther, @cheddartreets, @theupsidedownrealestateagent, @acidbubblegummie, @sirsnacksalot, @l0st-strawberry, @helpimstuckposting, @strawberry-starss, @freddykicksasses, @italianwhore1, @i-threw-my-name-out-the-window, @rageagainsttheapathy, @nuggies4life, @ape31, @whimsicalwitchm, @chrissycunninghamfanblog, @michellegilligan, @hippielittlemetalhead, @bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale, @jaytriesstuff, @confused-stripes, @faeb1tch42069, @marklee-blackmore, @hel-spawn, @genderless-spoon, @mamafaithful, @estrellami-1, @starryeyedpoet17 @i-amthepizzaman, @lilpomelito @melonmochi

#steddie #i don’t know which ways home fic #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #julie lawson #steve secret sibling fic #cw domestic violence #tw domestic violence #cw mentions of child abuse #tw mentions of child abuse

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yandere--stuck · 4 months

Note

if you have any more thoughts on the Joker Junior extending the family take I'd love to hear them!! Would J be interested in having Nightwing with them? Or Alfred? I'm not sure how well either of them would take to the venom, but if they have Batman anything's possible

Less ideas and more of an actual fic, oopsie!

---

Three weeks. Three long, agonizing weeks without Tim. Three weeks of hoping beyond all hope that he was somehow fine. That they'd all look back on this and laugh.

But, no. Eventually, Bruce was able to get word that The Joker and Harley had holed themselves up in the abandoned Arkham Asylum, and something in his gut that made him sick knew there was some correlation.

Part of him hadn't wanted Barbara to come along, but he also knew he wouldn't be able to stop her even if he tried. So, the two of them traversed through the crumbling asylum together and followed the echoing sound of Harley's voice singing a lullaby.

“Hush, little baby, don't say a word,

Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird,

And if that mockingbird don't sing,

Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring….”

Closer, closer. It took both of them every bit of will they had not to sprint through the halls as fast as their legs could carry them. As Harley’s voice grew even louder, Barbara split up to find another way in while Bruce took the lead. His heart nearly leapt from his chest with anticipation as he closed in on her location.

“And if that diamond ring is brass,

Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass,

And if that looking glass gets broke-”

The moment Harley saw him burst through the double doors, she perked up, greeting Bruce with a smile. She was cradling a flower vase in her arms, which she set down onto a covered table. Craning her neck, she shouted over her shoulder. “Puddin’, Hubby's home!”

Bruce’s eyes followed Harley’s gaze, spotting Joker on the second floor where he rested on a recliner. With a flourish, The Clown rose to his feet, turning away from his rabbit-eared television set and popping a pipe from his mouth, tossing it aside.

“Well, hello, dear!” Joker strolled down the stairs, stopping just shy of Batman. He wrapped an arm around Harley, the two of them smiling sweetly at their bat. “Welcome home.”

Bruce all but snarled in their faces, leaning close and baring his teeth. “Where's Robin?”

Both clowns shared a quizzical look.

“Robin?” Joker repeated with a quirk of his head. “There's no Robin here!”

“Maybe he means our little J,” Harley offered.

The Clown Prince of Crime snapped his fingers. “Of course! That's it.”

Meeting the Bat's eyes, smiling back at his scowl, Joker gestured to the other side of the room. To whatever was being concealed behind the large blue curtain. And Bruce couldn't help his rage, shoving the couple aside roughly as he moved to cross the room.

The Joker stumbled back, recovering with the shake of his head and click of his tongue. “He must be so stressed out from work.”

“I hate it when he gets like this. He never knows when ta relax,” Harley shook her head and reached underneath the table, pulling out a bazooka from beneath the tablecloth. She fired, and a band of ribbons erupted from the muzzle, knocking Batman to the floor with a hard thud and wrapping him up like a gift - bow and all.

“Good thing he has us. Hmm, now what say we bring this little gift of ours back to the bedroom to unwrap?”

Joker's grin stretched just a little wider as he noticed the movement of Batman's hand - holding it up just so as if to signal someone, just out of eyesight, to stand down. Joker's eyes crinkled. Perfect. He wondered, was it the eldest birdboy? Or maybe they'd be getting two bats with one stone?

“Y'know, Bat's, we've been doing this little run around for years,” Joker spoke again, approaching his prone enemy. “It's been loads of laughs! But the sad fact is - none of us are getting any younger.”

Harley joined his side, patting her stomach. “That ol’ clock's a tickin’!”

“Quite right, Pooh! So, Harley and I were thinking it's about time the three of us finally settled down together.”

“But rather than experiencing the joys of pregnancy, we decided the best way would be to just marry into the family.”

Hand-in-hand, the clowns walked over their Bat's prone form to each rest a hand on the curtain in front of them.

“But no matter how happy we are to join you, we were a bit disappointed that we didn't really have the chance to nurture them, too,” Joker lamented. “And after all, what better way to officially join the family than to impart a little bit of our personalities to the kiddos? He needed a bit of molding, of course, but-”

The couple yanked on each side of the curtain, the blue cloth sliding and billowing out as it parted - revealing a child strapped to a medical examination table.

“... What kid doesn't?” Joker finished with a grin, drinking in the Dark Knight's reaction.

Bruce couldn't help the exhale of ‘no’ that left him. Couldn't even blink, too horrified to look away from what had been done to Tim. The horror set in all at once, like freezing water flooding through every nerve in his system.

Joker brought Tim forward with the click of a button, the table rolling forward and bringing the boy into the light.

Tim...

His face an acid-washed white. His hair an unearthly green. His Robin costume now replaced with an exact recreation of Joker's own suit. And his face… Contorted in a pained smile and his eyes wide and afraid, unblinking.

“Say hello to Dada, JJ,” Joker cooed.

Tim's eyes, seeming to glow red in the light, shifted from Joker to Batman. He leaned further into the light, locking eyes with Bruce, and laughed. He laughed in a way Bruce had never, ever heard before. He unbound himself from the table, leaping to the floor on scrawny legs - God, how much weight had he lost in such a short amount of time. What had they done to his boy?

All at once, the cold shock and dawning horror inside Bruce shifted - and his whole body was alight with rage, like a fire inside threatening to escape through every orifice as he ripped through his bonds. The shout he made was near inhuman, launching a batarang he had cut the ribbons with directly at Joker's head, only for the Clown to dodge it with ease.

Harsh giggles flooded from Joker's throat, wiggling a finger in a ‘come hither’ motion before jumping onto the now vacant medical table, rocketing off with the click of a button, causing Bruce to almost stumble and reorient himself to take off after him - and leaving Barbara to deal with Harley.

—

Giggles bubbled from Tim JJ's throat as he stared unblinkingly down at his father, body crumpled on the floor, cape draped almost protectively over his prone body. And with giddy glee, The Joker Papa J hopped down from the giant building blocks he was perched upon, where he had sliced at Batman and sent him tumbling down only seconds ago.

It was all a blur for Bruce. The chase. The horrific videos of Tim… Tim's torture. Three weeks. Three weeks of that Hell. Electrocution. Beatings. Torment. Starvation. And it was all his fault. He'd failed him. The rage that had filled him nearly completely, made him seen red, had all been snuffed out.

First Jason. Now Tim. And Bruce still couldn't bring him to end this. His vision swam, and he could barely even focus. Not on Tim. Not on the man who tortured him. But… Wait. Where was-?

With a final hop, Joker landed in front of Batman in a crouch, hovering over him with a sly grin.

“You've lost, Bruce,” He rasped, and just hearing the name on the clown's lips made JJ seize up, his forever-smile momentarily twitching and a flood of nervous giggles escaping him. The clown continued, voice low. “Robin is mine… And now, so are you.”

And with a hearty heft, Joker lifted Bruce up by the scruff of his cowl and cape, as if presenting him. The grin of his face, the look in his eyes, as he looked down on his enemy. So proud of himself, so smug.

And Bruce. He looked in a daze, lost and beaten. Blood dripped from his lips.

This isn't what Papa promised. He said everything would be okay now. That he'd see Dad and Dick and Babs and Alfred again and he wouldn't be mean or hurt him again, because Papa knew he would be good now…

But when Joker met his eyes, something in them changed - his smile warping to somehow become comforting, happier. The darkness in his eyes dissipated, replaced with an excited shine. And with a free hand, The Clown grabbed for a large gun that looked more like a toy than anything.

“Here ya go, sonny-boy!” He said, tossing the weapon.

JJ scrambled forward to catch it. He couldn't help but notice how light the gun felt as he cradled it in his shaking, gloved hands. For a moment, he couldn't look away.

“Make him one of us,” The Joker urged, voice like a hiss.

It wasn't a conscious decision to aim the gun. It just happened. Like one minute, JJ was there and gone and back again. His hands shook so hard that he could hardly keep the weapon straight. Could barely even look at him. At the mask. At the man behind it.

“Tim…” Batman breathed. JJ had never heard his voice sound so small.

JJ would swear he couldn't breathe if it weren't for the rapid rise and fall of his chest and the wheezing, giggling exhales that escaped him as he struggled to calm down. Tears threatened to pool from his eyes.

This wasn't right. But, Papa knows best. He said everything would be okay afterward. He said he wouldn't be punished again. But, he couldn't. But, he couldn't run, either - too scared. Too weak. He wanted to be home. He wanted his family. He wanted to stop crying, to be able to breathe, to run into his fathers’ arms-

“It's alright now, JJ,” The Joker soothed, recapturing the boy's attention. “Just pull the trigger, and everything will be okay.”

JJ wanted his Papa to be telling the truth. He just wanted everything to be okay. He just wanted it all to stop. Bruce, please forgive him.

His finger squeezed around the trigger-

Joker's laugh filled the room, just as a green mist began flooding from the gun’s opening. It spread through the air and quickly covered both men. Joker laughed long and loud as he clung to Batman. He pulled his Bat into an embrace, a smile so bright and wide it made the corners of his mouth rip, as Bruce began to choke and hack.

The man seized up and shook in Joker's arms. Slow at first, but soon trembling and writhing in agony, barely restrained and pained chuckles escaping him. So much hurt flooding through every nerve and system that almost faculties left him. His lungs burned, his face ached, he couldn't feel his extremities and wouldn't have been able to hold himself up without Joker's hold on him. Bruce wasn't sure if he could speak or even breathe anymore, but somehow his body found it in itself to betray him, forcing laughter from gritted teeth.

Joker took a knee, gently laying Batman to the ground. The bat spasmed and jerked. Tears began to fall from behind his mask, shining on his cheeks in the light. Gloved hands caressed the sides of Bruce's face. Green eyes glinted in the light as they watched each movement of the other man - every sputter, every gasp, every choked out laugh, every pained, slowly blooming smile that wobbled onto his face.

“You must be so scared, aren't you, sweetheart?” Joker cooed. “You've been scared this whole time, haven't you? Ever since that night in the alleyway...”

Batman didn't reply - couldn't. His eyes crinkled as his smile grew involuntarily. All he could do was return the man's gaze with a manic smile that wasn't his own.

Joker stroked the top of his cowl lovingly. “But it's okay now, Bruce. You don't have to be scared anymore. You don't have to be strong. Don't have to hold yourself back. Me and Harl will build you back up to what you were meant to be. We'll be brave for you now. And do you know why?”

Bruce couldn't respond. For one, the agony of whatever this was, whatever Joker had planned for him, blotted out almost all thoughts in his mind completely. Could only tremble and writhe and cry and laugh. Laugh. Laugh. The laughing made it hurt just a little less. But he could still barely even register what the other man was saying. What he could register, though, was the image of Joker slowly leaning down to press his lips to Bruce's cloaked forehead.

“Because we love you.” Joker finished.

—

“Ohhhh, Harley!” Joker's voice rang through the cavernous halls of the abandoned asylum. “Barbie's turn!”

Barbara's stomach sunk to her feet and her heart skipped a beat. Barbie? No. No, there was no way, he could have known her name. Oh God, what happened to Bruce-?

In the middle of her ruminations, Harley caught her by surprise. A jab to the face, the pull of her leg to trip her up leaving her scrambling to correct her fall- only for her to feel hand grasp tightly at the nape of her neck, coiling painfully at the root of her hair. She was shoved onto her stomach, face-to-face with the dirty, cracked tiles of the former asylum’s floor.

“You know what that means! C'mon, Barbie,” Harley grunted, fingers twisting in the roots of her hair. She lunged forward, slamming her face to the floor with a sick crunch. “Let's go party!”

And everything went dark.

… Barbara awoke with a groan. The smell of pennies flooded her nostrils. Her vision was bleary and swam as she struggled to open her eyes.

A dark figure entered her vision from her periphery, and it loomed over a figure clad in purple. And for a moment, just one moment, she allowed herself to hope.

But, that hope crumbled just as quickly as Joker's voice entered her ears.

“You're okay, Bruce, you're okay, sweetie. You're gonna play nice now, right?”

Barbara couldn't help but shudder at the sound of Bruce's laugh in reply.

Hands found their way to Barbara's hair again, this time much softer. Not grabbing, just brushing and stroking almost soothingly.

“Wakey, wakey, eggs ‘n bakey,” Harley sang as she carded her hands through the younger woman's hair. “Y'know, I've always wanted a daughter. A little girl of my own. You think you'd ever want Mama to braid your hair for you? It's so pretty!”

“Ah, welcome back to the land of the living, Barbie,” Joker greeted. “Your Dad and I were just talking about you. A real chip off the ol’ block. Now all we need is to make it official.”

Barbara watched as Tim approached Bruce, pushing a gun of some kind into his hands. The Batman held it in his hands, smiling down at the weapon - but seemed almost hesitant. Unsure. Like he knew this was wrong. Like the weapon would somehow come alive and bite him.

“Batman, listen to me,” Batgirl pleaded. “Don't do this. Whatever they've done to you, this isn't you.”

“Oh, but it is! And soon it'll be you, too,” Harley corrected, walking back to give herself some distance.

“I know you're torn, Batsy, but I promise this is for the best,” Joker rubbed circles into the other man's back. “We'll all finally be together. Once we get Barbie here, then we'll get Dick and Al. And we'll be a family! They'll never be hurt again. You'll never be hurt again, sweetheart. I won't let anything bad happen anymore. You'll get your happily ever after. You won't be afraid ever again, I promise.”

Tears stung at Barbara's cheeks as she begged. “Batman, please!”

And for a moment, she thought she somehow got through to him. They locked eyes and Bruce smiled at her with a smile that isn't his own. But, she thought she could see understanding or recognition or something in his eyes, and was sure he'd toss the gun away and start kicking Joker's ass.

But, she was wrong.

With a hiss, green toxin flooded all around her. Even over her screams, the sounds of Joker, Tim, Harley, and Bruce's laughter smothered her completely. And soon after, so did her own.

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