as soon as she walks into the building, he’s the first thing she sees. 9 months had passed since they last saw each other. he was taller, broader. his hair was longer. but the same. she tries to not make eye contact, but he’s already looking at her.
“Jane, hey”, he approaches her cautiously, offering a small smile, almost pitiful, and keeping a big distance.
“hi” she responds
“it’s been so long, it’s good to see you.”
“yeah…”
“how are you?”
(a beat) “…umm… im good”
*moment of silence*
“good, good.”
he’s looking at her, trying to find her eyes. she’s looking to the side, arms crossed, weight rested on her left leg, her right leg pointing in the same direction as her chin
she finally looks in his direction, but never at his eyes.
she breaks the silence. “i’m gonna go”
he straightens his posture.
“ok.”
she walks beside him and gets in the elevator behind him. she presses the button to her floor. his gaze follows her movements. they stare at each other while the doors close.
when she’s finally out of his sight, she takes a deep breath, rubbing her eyes roughly with her fingers. she then exhales and stares blankly in front of her, lost in thought. she furrows her eyebrows, her eyes watering, her mouth forming into a frown and she lets out a sob. her hands are on her eyes before a tear can fall down her cheek. she rubs her eyes again and takes another deep breath, exhaling through her mouth, straightening her posture, and placing her hands at her sides. she then smiles.
*elevator door opens*
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i want to tell him that i like him but the thought of him cringing or reacting in any adverse way, other than, "oh, i'm not interested back, no thanks!"* of not being interested back would rip my heart to shreds and i would probably never recover. i have only admitted to a crush once in my life and i cried. it is an engrained rule to never , EVER , tell anyone i like them. it gives them power. they could ruin me.
* even if he did react that way i would still probably feel so much shame within me of it. that he was "probably" thinking poorly of me or questioning why i tried to ruin our friendship
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i’ve got a crush. and it’s so weird because the crush has came and went😂 like sometimes im like nah and then something will happen and it’s back full fledge🤭 i wonder if anything will ever come of it. do he be thinking of me how i be thinking of him sometimes🤔??
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I really think I like this guy. I'm trying to take things slow. But my last few days have overwhelmingly been about him and just... Bonding and I can't help but flutter at the thought of being together. I mean... Being.. together. 🤭 I'm a fuckin school girl having a big ol fat crush.
Life is fun.
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what losers think i mean when i say i wanna fuck robots:
esteemed perverts who really know what's swangin':
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I normally don’t like posting pics of my computer screen BUT
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dont you know that feeling???
extra:
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Love to make Rose Tyler a bit 👀😳 over Donna bc it ultimately results in. Bisexuality win! The two people you have big dumb unattainable gay crushes have combined into one person who is very very into you!
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