#congrats on finishing volume 1!!!
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Give it up for Scum Villain Self-Saving System volume 2 for being the first book I finish this year!! Congrats!!
#ari rambles#also might be the first time i finish a book so early in the year#congrats on being the only physical copy series of the mxtx trio that i finish first#i have to read volume 2 of tgcf and volume 1 & 2 of mdzs before buy vol 3 of svsss#i love svsss so much#i recommend#svsss#scum villian self saving system#scum villain
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Hey Nikki, congrats on your milestone!! Hopefully I’m not too late to your party 😭…. This isn’t really y2k, but what about Love Never Felt So Good by Michael Jackson ft Justin Timberlake???
If I may suggest… Nanami getting tipsy so it makes him feel too relaxed and confident that he just turns the volume up and dances with reader!?!?
I’ll let your creative mind finish this off.
Tysm, take care, and again congrats, your work deserves all the love!!!
Love Never Felt So Good
Pairing: Nanami x f!reader
Word Count: ~1.0k
cw: fluff, established relationship, alcohol consumption
Summary: You pick up your very drunk husband from the bar. Halfway home, he asks you for a silly request.
Author’s Note: This is such a cute request, thank you @mira-miraaa! I love this song for the y2k karaoke party. Enjoy! Divider credit to @/saradika.
Nanami is out for drinks tonight with his colleagues after successfully completing a mission. It’s been a difficult week for them as you recall your husband’s nightly recaps to you on the phone. You wouldn’t blame any of them one bite if they let loose more than usual tonight. You stay up until half past midnight, hoping to catch him before you sleep. When you don’t hear any updates from him, you finally head to bed, certain you’ll see him in the morning, hungover and hopefully less stressed.
At 1:48 AM, your phone rings, Gojo’s name illuminating your screen. Concerned, you pick it up, whispering a croaky, “Hello?”
Gojo cheerfully says your name. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
You yawn, rubbing the sleep away from your bleary eyes. “No, I’m fine. Is everything okay?”
He chuckles. “Well, yes, everything is okay. It’s just that your dear husband here will not budge unless you come here to pick him up.”
Fully awake now, you ask, “What?”
“He won’t get into my car. He’s not leaving unless his quote gorgeous, wonderful wife comes and rescues him. He hasn’t moved for twenty minutes now and I don’t think there’s any other way to convince him,” he explains.
You smile to yourself, shrugging the blanket off to quickly change with the phone pinched between your ear and shoulder. “Don’t worry. Give me fifteen. I’ll be there.”
Thankfully, the streets are nearly empty, so you arrive promptly to the bar, where you spot Gojo, Ijichi, and Ieiri standing at the curb, carrying your slumped over husband on their shoulders. You park in front of them, smiles of relief on their faces as you exit the car. “Thank you for taking care of him. I’m sorry you had to deal with this.”
Gojo waves it off with his free hand, a big grin on his face. “We’re sorry you had to come all the way here just to pick him up. He can be so stubborn sometimes.”
Giggling, you step towards Nanami. “This is what I signed up for when I married him, right?” You tip his chin up to meet his face. His glasses are skewed, eyes half-lidded with intoxication. It takes a second for him to finally realize it’s you, and when he does, his expression brightens instantly. “Honey?” he utters, throat raspy from the liquor.
You nod. “Hi sweetie. I’ve come here to rescue you.”
He smiles, removing himself from his friends to wrap his arms around you, nuzzling his nose to the top of your head. “You’re here. You’re actually here.” From your peripheral, you catch Ieiri and Ijichi grinning at each other.
Gojo laughs. “Alright, he’s in great hands now. Let’s all finally go home!”
You say your farewells to them with Nanami still latched to you, breathing you in deeply. The smell of whiskey is potent from his mouth and clothes as you do your best to lead him into the passenger seat, his long limbs difficult to maneuver while he makes absolutely no effort to do it himself. With his seatbelt securely buckled, you rush to the other side to get behind the wheel. Before you drive, you crack open a new water bottle and shove it towards him. “Here, drink some water.”
He removes his glasses, tucking them neatly into his breast pocket, staring at the bottle, confused. “That’s not whiskey.”
“I know it’s not; it’s water!” you laugh, urging him. “Now drink.”
He gives you a sloppy salute. “Yes ma’am.” He throws it back into his mouth, chugging a third of the bottle, some of it spilling from the sides of his lips, hiccupping once when he’s done. Satisfied, you start the car, music playing, ready to head home. Nanami nods his head along to the songs, holding your hand in his, fingers entwined. You adore how lovey-dovey he gets when he’s had too much to drink. It doesn’t matter that you had to sacrifice sleep to do this; you’d do it again and again if he’d ask you to, no question.
Halfway through, the intro to one of his favorite songs starts. He gasps softly, turning the volume up, beaming. When the verse begins, he sings along. “Baby, love never felt so good…” He sways his shoulders, his entire torso jiving with the melody now, waving your hand with his to the beat. You bite your lip, suppressing your laughter with one hand on the wheel. He faces you, shaking your arm. “Let’s dance, honey.”
“I’m driving!”
“Pull over then! We’ll dance on the sidewalk. Hurry, the chorus is coming!” he whines, persistent.
Too amused to resist, you check your surroundings, pulling over to the side of the street. He turns the dial even louder, car reverberating with the bass, clicking his seatbelt off and exiting the vehicle. You do the same, rushing over to him with his arms reaching for you, belting out the lyrics. “Baby! Every time I love you, in and out my life, in out baby!” He dances with you under the streetlight, gazing into your eyes with the biggest smile on his face, swinging your arms with his. At the end of the chorus, he twirls you gracefully, serenading, “So baby, love never felt so good…” scattering sweet kisses on your cheek.
You continue this the entire song, giggling uncontrollably as you practice all your cheesy dance moves on each other, including him shimmying his chest towards you and rolling his hips seductively. Near the end, the only other car to drive down the street honks at the two of you, flashing you a thumbs up from the window.
The next song that plays is a slow one, so you turn on your heel to get back into driver’s seat, thinking he’s ready to go home. Nanami tugs you back, pulling you in for a snug embrace, squeezing you lovingly. “Not yet. Just one more song.” His grip is tight on you, reluctant to let go.
You nestle into his chest, smiling as he sways you to the smooth cadence of the music, cradled in his arms. “Alright. One more song.”
#nanami fluff#nanami kento#nanami x reader#nanami x you#kento nanami fluff#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami kento fluff#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#y2k karaoke party#milestone event
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Yoooo dude congrats on finishing the new chapter it's so cool!! The way you've managed to stick through with it despite everything is insane and the pages look gooorgeous. I know I'm super late to this but I saw you shared some colour comps for different covers I assume for the different arcs? I was wondering what sort of arcs you decided to split the story into, and also in general I looove seeing all the behind the scene and concept stuff you post every now and then so uhhhh if you're willing to share any at this stage 👀
Thank you!! Yeah these past few months have been a wild ride for sure. But it's the sheer love and devotion for these kinds of passion projects that keep me going, so I'm not letting this go
As for the color comps, here they are!! I feel like the story is split in 3 acts already. Act I: first 48 hours, Act II: from izaya saving shizuo to shizuo saving izaya (closing with the infection arc), Act III: The END (planning & recreuiting & actual game dismantling).
Since I've wanted to make physical copies, I thought I'd split the 50 chapters into packs of 10. 1-10, 11-20, 21-30, 31-40, 41-50.
It doesn't fit perfectly, volume-pacing wise. I have to think about it a bit more!! But that hypothetical 5th volume cover has been stuck in my head since 2018 so you can be sure it'll appear at some point. there's something about izaya and arson................
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chapter one
“The world was whole then, the sun and moon together as one”
pairing: charles leclerc x fem¡stroll!reader
word count: 2k+
warnings: asshole!charles, asshole!reader, some business stuff, shitty father, mentions of Jules (this one actually trigger me) eventual smut, use of Y/N and will be a miniserie
summary: Your father, Lawrence Stroll, and basically your boss have a good opportunity of linking Aston Martin with Ferrari’s stocks. But for that Binotto demanded that you, first driver of your dad’s formula one team, with your impeccable reputation start a fake relationship with the Ferrari’s golden boy Charles Leclerc. Which happens to have a not so good popularity, publicly cheating on with his ex girlfriend plenty of times and being a complete asshole with his ex teammate, Sebastian Vettel, who now is your teammate.
disclaimer: any photo used is not supposed to represent the reader, are all Pinterest pics that matches the context
(Y/n) Stroll POV:
No. I’m definitely not doing this.
“Dad no. I would rather die than pretending to be in love with that bastard!” I said after waiting for dad to finish telling me the worst thing I ever heard come out of his mouth.
“Sweetie I know it’s a shitty thing to ask for, but I need your help okay? You want to keep your seat in formula 1, don’t you kitten?”
“Yeah, of course I do!”
“You’re such a great driver and we worked really hard on your reputation, to keep it untouchable. I helped you a lot through your career and I hope you can help me now. Use your brain, sweetheart… Would be good for our business, our team, your career, everything!” Lawrence leans forward and put an arm around my shoulders, speaking in low volume.
“Can I just have a moment to at least think about it?” I shrugged finding a way out of his arm.
“Sure, just think wisely…” he reassured and leave me alone on his meeting room.
This isn’t the first time something like this happens, my father ALWAYS use his power over me. How he can easily take my seat away from me, take me out of the team and make my career a little bit harder than already is.
I’m not dumb, I know I deserve my seat. Obviously, I got into f1 rather faster than the others, because Stroll’s influence (and money) but I do deserve my seat. Ever since I got into the championships (F3, F2 and F1) I got the spotlight right in my face being the only woman on the grid only because “my daddy’s money”. But when I, as a rookie in Renault, got my first points only in the third race weekend getting a P8 everyone was looking at me a little bit different.
I had secretly received two emails showing interest on me: one from Mercedes to assume their second drivers seat in 2024 after Lewis supposed retirement and one from McLaren for 2023 after Daniel Ricciardo showing an interest to leave the constructor.
So yes, I do have a plan B. But I still need a seat to end this season. The best would be wait till the end of this year, and see what to do next. And what is dating the worst person that I ever met compared to the dream I have since I was 5.
The hate for Charles is old. More specifically since 2017 when we were teammates for prema for the Formula 2 championship. We didn’t like each other, almost everybody knew it because he made it very clear in all his interviews.
“(Y/n)! It’s lovely to see you again, congrats for the amazing win today! Even with today’s win Leclerc still a few points ahead of you in the championship, what you have to say about it?”
“Hm, thank you. Was it really an amazing race today, feeling good to have the opportunity to show myself a bit more this weekend. But yeah, I believe he’s these points ahead because Markelov crashed into me in Hungary and I lost engine last race”.
“But you both leading the championship it’s not good for prema?” The woman asked me while turning her head a little confused.
“Oh it is, but I would like to win the championship as much as Leclerc. It’s only a friendly competition between us” I just said smiling even tho my throat burned to say those words.
Charles Leclerc POV:
“Hi Charles awesome race, you did an amazing job today! But (Y/n) managed to overtake you in the very first laps, how do you fell about it?” Really? I haven’t noticed before…
“Well she’s a good driver but to be honest my car wasn’t feeling really great today so that’s probably one of the reasons she overtook me so easily” That’s true? No. Do I care? Also no.
“Okay, hm you surely want to win the championship but how you plan to do so with your teammate, and probably friend, chasing you only some points behind?”
“We are just teammates, okay? Not friends or anything. And I’m planning to give all of me in the next races and fight very bravery for the championship, no matter what is in the way” Or no matter who is in the way…
(Y/n) Stroll POV:
Was always like that… Me holding back my words and Leclerc almost writing in his forehead with a neon marker his hate towards me.
We grew up very far from each other, well until my dear dad decided to move to UK and we started karting together throughout Europe.
“But (Y/n) that was just a rivalry, don’t be dramatic” I heard that too many times. It’s not “just a rivalry” when your rival pushes you off the track making you brake some bones, or when he invents lies to your father yell at you in front of everyone before a tournament or worst when he treats your teammate like shit and still thinking that he is a god!
He is so damn stubborn and egocentric, he thinks he’s the best in everything. Paddle? Swimming? Skiing? Learning languages? (okay in this case he will never beat me and he knows it) Singing? Dancing? He thinks he nails it, even if he looks like a lizard doing everything.
But at driving… he always knew that I was at his level maybe even a little bit better than him. A competition to him, someone who didn’t get immediately on their knees in his first appearance, who his older brother always liked and especially someone who never cheer him up every time he wins.
But well it’s for my seat anyways so I texted my dad that I was up for it on my way home. If we really are going to do this it’s gotta be only after tomorrow, I’m really tired and with all this bullshit I’m even more.
•
“WITH HER?” I heard in the exact moment I walked into the conference room.
“Charles… It’s the deal. You alright signed” Lorenzo, his dear brother and manager, said to him. “I told you to read it before tho”
“Well I trust my team so I didn’t think they would do such a shitty thing like this”
“Shut up Leclerc you think I’m happy about it?” I said while going to a hug with Lorenzo “How you still have patience after all this time Lo?”
“Too many years, hun”
“Kitten, Binotto is already on his way. Why don’t you have a sit?” my father said and Charles held his laugh at the nickname so I discretely fixed my hair with my middle finger.
“Good morning guys, pleasure to see you all here today” the old man’s voice with a thick italian accent which could be recognised everywhere in the paddock entered the room.
“Binotto what the actual-“
“Sir can you please explain to Charles why this deal was created” Lorenzo interrupted his brother almost immediately.
“Exactly because of that… Your brother is a amazing driver but too hot headed, don’t know when to say the things, when to lie and etc. But with (Y/n) it’s different since everybody loves her, the media specifically which is the most important…”
“So it would be good to the both sides if you guys faked a relationship! Our companies somehow together, and your reputation so much better!” dad completed for the Ferrari’s team principal.
Watching Leclerc slowly and visibly dying inside can enter the list of favorite moments right now.
“Can we speak about it alone?” Charles said after almost a entire minute in silence.
“A-Ah sure” this caught everyone surprised.
“If you’re okay with that (Y/n)…” Lorenzo said getting up.
“Sure…” you will not surprise me Leclerc, I know you very well. He probably just gonna try to persuade me to forget about this as his last hope.
“Why’d you accept it?” was the first thing he said after everybody left.
“It’s good for the company” keep it short (Y/n).
“How your old man convinced you?”
“Doesn’t matter, but you know what does? We already accept and signed it and you are not going to change my mind”
“You must be really desperate to date me then huh?”
“You must be really desperate to save your shitty reputation to sign a contract without reading at least two lines of it��
“You don’t know shit about it!” Okay, there it is…
Stage one of mad Leclerc: starting to get pissed off.
“Ow don’t I? Your team accepted the very first offer they received to try to get your reputation better, even if that meant a partnership with a smaller company and basically selling you! Just because you can’t keep your shits down and keep losing sponsors” I am fucking good about getting him mad.
“You might be right about it but you accepting it just can mean one thing: you’re obsessed with me and this is the only chance you have to get at least a little closer to me or your family company it’s broking”
Stage two: teasing Leclerc (my least favourite).
“You have such a big head and still with a small brain! Maybe have crossed your mind that these are neither of my reasons?”
“So why you don’t tell me? It’s not like you having to choose this deal is my fault”
Stage three: trying to gaslighting.
“It’s not your fucking business”
“Always so foul-mouthed for what? For keeping everything that happens inside of yourself to anyone have any possibility of truly liking you?”
Stage four: pretend to be my therapist but just insults me.
“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe I just don’t like you and want you the farthest way possible of me? So that’s might be the reason I don’t tell you anything?”
“Oh shut up you’re just so stubborn and a fumier and a folle and stupide you think you’re the best even if you’re just an afraid little girl” if I didn’t know him for such a long time I wouldn’t understand what he is talking about because of the strong accent.
Stage five: multiple languages, strong accent and pouting like a kid.
“You’re over?” God he makes me sick… “Guys you can come in” I open the door and say a little louder so they can hear from the waiting room.
“So the deal still up?” My dad asked a little taken back.
“Sure” we said in unison.
“Nice! Since you both already signed the contract your respective pr managers already know about it. Now you guys just have be civil, determine rules between you two but remember: you NEED to look like a real couple and keep this deal down, the least amount of people knowing the better”
Welcome to hell.
•
“CAN YOU BELIEVE IT DEREK?” I screamed at my pt while running on the treadmill.
“Okay, so your dad got mad with you because you let Leclerc scream at you? How does that make sense?”
“It doesn’t! That’s the whole point! I’m so tired of his shit…”
“Take it easy it just needs to last to the end of this year, you can do it!”
“The season didn’t even started yet! Basically one year of this bullshit”
“Well, at least you got summer break…”
“I might have a break from my dad but not Leclerc. Or do you thing girlfriend and boyfriend, ew, spend their summers away from each other!”
“Yeah, you’re fucked” he tried to smile sympathetically.
“God I wish someday I’ll be just like you mate, married to an incredibly hot woman and got a cute little son running around and working for a amazing person”
“You were being too cute to be true… How do you manage to pass through a door with that big ego my girl? Don’t know how I still work for you”
“I pay well plus you love me” I said smiling after drinking water.
“Yeah you’re right-“
“WAIT YOU FINALLY SAID ‘I LOVE YOU’”
“No I didn’t-“
“In a weird way but you did, admit it!”
•
“We need to set some rules if we are actually doing this shit” I said seating before Charles disgusting Leclerc.
“You are calling our relationship ’shit’? This is it! I wanna break up”
“Stop being dramatic” this was actually funny what the hell?
“Just joking sweetheart”
“First we need to know what to call each other. I hate princess and kitty”
“Ew why would someone call their girl kitty? That’s not a weird name for pussy?”
“That’s one of the reasons I hate it”
“Unlike some people I love to be called by prince or king” he said moving back an imaginary long hair.
“I’m definitely not doing this” I might actually throw up. “Just say what you hate and I’ll try to avoid”
“Nothing particular maybe just mon loup. It makes me feel like I’m Toto Wolff”
“Okay the backstory Lorenzo and Liv (my pr manager) already created-“
“Wait they did?” He interrupted me.
“Yeah it’s basically our normal story, how we met and our ‘little fights’ all the same shit. The only thing it changed is that we fell in love with each other during the winter break”
“So it’s kind true isn’t it? You fell in love with me during the winter break but that was in 2016”
“Can you just shut down your ego for two seconds, please? We both know that would never happen”
“Yeah sure keep lying to yourself babe”
“Second rule: nothing of unnecessary PDA. Third: don’t get our careers involved”
“It’s exactly because of our careers we are in this situation-”
“I mean whatever comes out of this deal should not affect our careers.
Forth: don’t get yourself in trouble! We receive a lot of shitty questions and your dumb brain answers all of them the way the media want to just ruin you. You’re not doing this, not when we are ‘dating’, you heard me?”
“So what? Are you going to control me?”
“I intend to. We gonna do a plenty of press together so I will interrupt you every time I think it’s necessary”
“Fifth: not seeing other people while we are doing this…” okay that caught me off guard.
“Well you are the not so loyal one-“
“I didn’t cheated!”
“Ow so half the globe is blind and dumb?”
“WE WEREN’T DATING! When the photos came out we already had broken up for about 3 months”
“Yeah sure I don’t want to know the details of your love life. I just don’t wanna look like a dumb trophy girlfriend of a cheater. Sixth: you are not speaking shit to or about my teammate and my friends, my family is allowed but that just work for my father”
“You say like your dear teammate doesn’t know why we discussed so much… But okay. So that’s it? Can I go now?”
“Sure you can but don’t forget we have a ‘date’ tomorrow night” god that sounds so wrong and so gross at the same time.
⇨⇨⇨ next part
#f1 imagine#formula 1#charles leclerc#f1#formula uno#formula racing#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#ferrari f1#f1 fanfic#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc x you
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I just wanted to ask if there will be still another chance at getting Volume 1 and 2 of ROTP physical copies.
Been busy and off Tumblr and stuff for a bit, so I missed u announcing ur campaign for that.
I hope I can still get them sometime in the future, because I was really excited to get them.
Also, congrats on finishing ROTP and for the https://crowdfundr.com/riseoftheparallel?ref=ab_4wfaweTwgUb4wfaweTwgUb going so well! (Even if sadly just barely missed it 3-4 days).
And congrats for starting TMS too! Been looking forward to that comic (it has been something that has really interested me) and see more of the 2012 boys (and other 2012 cast) and to see u tackle a comic in the 2012 universe!
Have a nice day/night!
There will be another campaign, yes!
The next one will ship everywhere too, so you don’t have to worry about your location. I just needed to get the first campaign done so I could add more locations and so that the people who ordered in December weren’t waiting forever for their comics to come.
I’m so glad you liked ROTP! I can’t wait to keep going with TMS too! I really love how it’s turned out in just the first few updates, so I’m excited to see it continue!
Good question! Have a nice day/night too! :]
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@avocado-writing’s tav + Charlie enjoying some birthday soup bc it’s their birthday today and mine is in 5 days so!! Soup!! (My actual birthday soup recipe is under the cut)
Birthday soup
Don’t forget to get silly w it. That’s like, required. It’s your BIRTHDAY (or someone else’s birthday) you deserve to get silly.
I stole this from my mom btw, also make sure you know the difference between a herb and a spice.
Oh yeah also it includes soup dumplings.
Kitchen items:
Big pot w a lid
Cutting board
Knife
Ingredients:
2 tbls Butter
1pkg Stew beef (or chicken hearts, that’s the original ingredient I just don’t like em)
2 medium onions, one diced, one quartered (keep separate)
1 whole head of garlic, minced (jarlic works very well here)
3 cups of stock (beef if you use beef, veggie if you use chicken, do not use chicken stock it fucks up the taste)
3 medium carrots, chopped
2 medium potatos, chopped
1 celery stick, chopped
1/4 head of cabbage, chopped (optional, I just like cabbage an unreasonable amount)
1 whole package of frozen spinach, defrosted (do this in a bowl this shit is WET also keep the water)
Can of green beans (you could probably use fresh, I don’t like fresh tho so, idk)
Can of diced tomatoes
Rosemary
Thyme
Fennel
Mustard seed
Celery seed
Sprinkle of Cloves (ground)
Sprinkle of Nutmeg
5% Vinegar or lemon juice (or your favourite other edible acid, tomato juice would in theory work, lime juice is mid.)
Salt + pepper
1 tbls Paprika
Steps:
Butter in that pot, medium
Spices, add em, leave ‘em until they smell good, it won’t be long.
Beef and a splash of your acid in that pot, cook until 1/4 done
Carrot and celery in that pot, get em hot but don’t cook em too long.
Diced onion, spinach, and paprika + salt n pepper to taste in that pot, med-low
Stir, cover, leave it alone for 5ish minutes
Uncover, add garlic to that pot, cook until it smells like garlic
Stock + the canned bean and frozen spinach water, add it.
Canned tomato, add it.
Potato, add it.
Cabbage, add it.
All them herbs, add em to taste (I use roughly a tablespoon each of em dried, but I like my shit strong.)
Bring it to boil on high
Let that bitch simmer, you may need to periodically add water if he’s goin too hard. (START MAKING THOSE SOUP DUMPLINGS RN IF YOURE DOING THAT)
When the potato is 1/2 done that quartered onion (and the dumplings)
Finish the potato.
Bam. Soup. I like it more cold, but it is intended to be eaten hot.
Soup dumplings
I stole this from my roommate and add em to most soups tbh
Kitchen items:
Bowl,
Wood spoon,
Your Hands,
You could probably do this in a stand mixer but I don’t have one of those so, you’re on your own man.
Ingredients:
2 cups Flour
Water, hot as you can handle touching, volume required varies,
Salt
Pepper
Onion powder
Garlic powder
Whatever fresh herbs you like (dried don’t work here unless they’re ground absolutely tiny)
1 tbls of your favourite liquid fat (I use olive oil, canola and sunflower also work for sure)
Steps:
Flour, into the bowl
Seasonings, into the bowl
Mix well.
Add the fat
Slowly add water, mixing often until you get a slightly sticky ball.
Knead for a bit, I don’t really know how to describe the texture bc I’ve been making bread since I was a kid (and this is just a yeastless bread dough) but its finished when it stops really sticking to your hands (it’ll be tacky, not sticky)
Divide into 1 inch balls
Drop into the soup roughly 30 minutes before it’s finished.
Serve in the soup
Congrats, soup balls.
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Only You - Why Him?
Masterlist
Summary: Having spent most of your life in relationships that went nowhere. You struggled to trust that this man… this ray of sunshine… wouldn’t leave you eventually. (18+)
Relationships: Reader x Ben Miller
Warnings:Like AO3, I choose to give none. Read at your own risk. 18+ (So was gonna get this up tomorrow but decided to drop it today instead 🙈)
Series Masterlist - Part 1
“He what?!” Ben expelled, his volume taking you by surprise.
“He proposed!” You repeated, trying to keep your voice steady as you spoke.
“And you said yes?” He pushed, heart, beating so hard he was sure you could hear it.
“Yes, Benny… I said yes!” You growled, growing frustrated at his line of questions.
“But why?”
“Because he loves me and I love him.”
“But the prick cheated on you!” Ben snapped and you flinched, your mind momentarily being dragged back to the moment you’d discovered Mike kissing another woman.
“We talked about that.” You scoffed “She was a friend… She’d gotten into his head about us.”
“Us?”
“You and me.” You elaborated “She’d planted doubts in his head… convinced him you and I were sneaking around behind his back.”
“So he decided to do the same?”
“He fucked up okay!” You snarled “We all make em’!”
“He doesn’t trust you if he allowed her to convince him that we were sneakin’ around!” Ben was unable to hide his disbelief “You deserve so much better Stitch!”
I
“Well, I don’t exactly have a queue of men waiting to do right by me.” You scoffed.
“Why him?” Ben pushed, his tone suddenly vulnerable and your brows pulled together as you pondered his question.
“Why not?”
That wasn’t an answer and you both knew it. Yet neither of you could bring yourselves to question it further. Ben ran a hand through his blonde locks before glancing at the door and then back at you.
“I should go.” Ben piped up after a few tense minutes, pushing himself to his feet “I’ll see you later.”
“Ben!” You called out, hurt and confused by his reaction to your news “Where are you?…”
“I need to get out of here!” Ben replied, back still turned to you.
“Why?” You choked. Your heart breaking.
“Because I can’t watch this.” He replied. Tears falling freely as he walked to your door.
“Can’t watch what?” You called out but he didn’t reply “Ben!”
The younger Miller didn’t reply. He just got in his truck and ignored how you stood on your drive, sobbing as you watched him leave.
You didn’t understand why he’d reacted so poorly to your news.
You’d expected him to be excited for you. You had hoped he’d have held you close and congratulated you on your wonderful news. Not walk out disappointed in you. It hurt you that the man you’d come to look at as one of your best friends had just walked away from you.
If only you’d known why.
…
Benny was on his second beer of the evening. He’d barely spoken a word to anyone but what had confused Frankie to no end was how he’d spoken exactly zero words to you.
He has spared you a few glances but nothing more and it was clear how much it affected you.
Frankie was about to pull Ben to one side and call him out on it when you revealed exactly why Ben was so off.
“So I have some exciting news.” You piped up when Will had finished talking about his latest work drama.
“I hope it's more exciting than Will’s tale!” Frankie teased, receiving a finger from the older Miller.
“Well, I think it is.” You chuckled nervously, smiling to yourself as you lifted your left for everyone to see “Mike asked me to marry him.”
“Well shit.” Will expelled as he grabbed your hand to inspect the monstrous rock they’d all managed to miss “That’s amazing news, congrats!”
“Are you happy?” Frankie asked and you nodded, your eye’s glancing at Ben who was looking elsewhere.
“Ben, aren’t you gonna congratulate her?” Nudged Will and finally Ben looked at them.
“Already knew.” The younger man shrugged, then returned to staring out of the window.
“So how did he ask?” Will asked, brushing off his brother’s response.
“Well uh… its a funny story actually…” You chuckled to yourself “We’d gotten into a fight over something silly… it was stupid! Anyway, we were yelling at each other and then he just sorta blurted it out!”
“Hardly call cheating silly!” Ben grumbled, grabbing everyone’s attention.
“What was that?” Frank asked, brows pulling together as he glanced between you and Ben.
“Nothing!” The blonde replied before pushing himself to his feet and grabbing his empty beer bottle “Need a drink… Be right back.” He mumbled before making his way over to the bar.
“What’s his problem?” Will asked and you simply shrugged, unable to mask how hurt you were feeling.
“I’ll go check on him.” Frankie announced before getting to his feet “Anyone else needs a drink whilst I’m up there?”
You and Will simply shook your heads.
“Don’t Fish!” Ben warned when Frankie stepped up beside his friend, his eyes not leaving the tv overhead.
“I get you’re hurting but-“
“Hurting?” Ben scoffed “I’m in agony.” Ben choked “But what’s worse is that that fucker cheated on her and yet still she ran back to him.”
"He cheated on her?" Ben nodded and Frankie sighed "Like fucked someone else or…"
"She caught him kissing someone else." Ben elaborated "But still! He's an asshole."
“So what… you’re just gonna cut her out because she didn’t choose you?” Frank snapped "He did a shitting thing but she doesn't deserve you blanking her because you got your feelings hurt."
“I’m not cutting her out.” Ben groaned, scraping a hand over his face.
“No?” Fish pushed “Cus it sure looks like it! You’ve not spoken a word to her or looked at her all evening!”
“Fish-“
“You need to either tell her the truth or suck it up because she’s hurting and I won’t stand by and let you treat her like this.” Frankie warned, “I’m not beyond kicking your ass.” He finished before swiping the new beer the bartender had brought him up and taking a long pull “Think about it.”
Frankie joined the rest of the table leaving Ben to ponder what his friend had told him. The pilot was right. He did have to decide. But one choice would mean he’d likely lose you. The other. He’d be in pain the rest of his life.
…
In the week that followed that announcement, Ben continued to be distant.
You’d been sad at first but now as time went on, you just grew angry. Your hectic days had managed to distract you from your issues with Ben but your evenings were often empty. Leaving you time to dwell.
So you had been relieved when Maria had invited you over to do some wedding planning, Frankie hanging around in the background. Very much on baby duty.
"What do you think of an outdoor ceremony?" Maria asked as she showed you some of the ideas she'd saved in a Pinterest folder "Don't you think they look so elegant?"
"They do." You gushed, your eyes almost certainly moulding into hearts "But do you think Mike would like it?"
"I think that man will let you have whatever you want!" She replied, giving you a look that said more than words ever could.
"I suppose you're right but it's his day as much as it is mine." You countered "He has to enjoy it too!"
"You're too kind for your own good!" She chuckled as she poured you some more wine "You spoken to Ben lately?" She asked as she topped up her own glass and you sighed.
"No." You mumbled, taking a sip of the rich red liquid before continuing "I just don't get why he's being like this… I mean I know that he was angry that Mike had kissed that… Well you know but it was my decision to forgive him. What gives him the right to be angry at me?"
"Oh, hun." Maria sighed as she grabbed your hand and gave it a friendly squeeze "Ben's not angry at you. He's just hurting."
"Why?" You asked, your tone jumping from pissed to worried "Has something happened?"
"Well yeah." She replied with a nod "You got engaged!"
"I don't follow…" You trailed off, unsure as to what Maria was getting at and the older woman sighed.
"That boy is head over heels in love with you." She stated, smirking when your eyes almost popped out of your skull.
"He's what?"
"He's in love with you." She repeated.
"Bullshit." You scoffed as you took another large gulp of wine.
"It's the truth hun." She continued "Frankie gave him an ultimatum at the bar the other week. Tell you or suck it up… I guess he's not done either."
"But he… We never… He's in love with me?"
You weren't sure whether to believe what Maria was telling you. You were waiting for the other shoe to drop. For her to start laughing and tell you that she was only messing with you. Yet she didn't. She just sat there with a sympathetic look on her face as she waited for you to process what she'd told you.
"Why didn't he just tell me?"
"Cus' the boy's a moron." Piped up Frankie as he entered the kitchen to grab a beer "The first night we all went out was meant to be a date… just you and him but at the last minute he panicked and ended up inviting us all."
"He panicked?" You asked and he nodded.
"He's never felt for anyone the way he feels for you." He confessed "You make him stupid and his behaviour right now is him being exactly that… Stupid."
"I need to go talk to him." You said as you grabbed your wine and necked the last of it, hoping it would bring you some courage.
"Let me take you over at least!" Frank offered, placing his unopened beverage back into the fridge.
"What are you going to tell him?" Maria asked as she handed you your coat.
"I uh… Well shit, I haven't thought about it." You replied honestly as you looked between the couple nervously.
"How do you feel about him?" Maria asked you and you sighed.
"I'm crazy about him." You confided, a nervous smile crossing your face "I didn't think… That night we met and you were all there I just assumed he wanted to be friends. I never thought for even a second that he liked me."
"Then you need to tell him that." Maria stated plainly as she gave you a warm smile "You need to be honest with him and yourself… before you marry the wrong man!"
"You ready to go Hermosa?" Frankie asked and you nodded.
"Let's go."
…
Frankie pulled up outside Ben's building and gave you a warm smile.
"Call me if you need anything okay?" He stated and you nodded, leaning over to give him a hug before jumping out of the car.
You skipped to the door of his building and typed the code in, heart racing as you sprinted up the stairs two steps at a time. When you made it to his floor, the hallway seemed to stretch on forever. Then coming to a stop outside his door, you let out a shaky breath before knocking. Hands shaking from a mixture of nerves and excitement.
The moment the door opened your heart stopped. It wasn't Ben that greeted you. It was a beautiful woman with long blonde waves and stunningly green eyes.
"Can I help you?" She asked in a sickly sweet tone.
"Is Ben in?" You asked and she nodded before calling for him over her shoulder.
She moved out of the way so that Ben could take her place before placing a sensual kiss on his cheek.
"Don't be too long." She purred before slinking out of view and you could swear the sound of your heart shattering echoed through the hall.
"What are you doing here Stitch?" He asked, his tone making you flinch.
"I uh… Well, I came to tell you something but uh… It seems like I caught you at a bad time." You choked as you blink furiously in an attempt to stay your tears.
"Tell me what?"
"It's not something I want to discuss in the hallway of your building." You growled, angry tears pushing through despite your best efforts.
"Well as you can see I have company so can it wait?" He asked and you sobbed then.
"Got I'm so stupid."
Ben's brows drew together then as he watched you fall apart. You didn't even try to stop the tears. You just let them fall freely as you started to fumble for your phone.
"I need to go." You said, panicking more when you failed to find your phone, only to groan in frustration when it fell from your pocket and clunked on the floor.
"Woah. Stitch… What the hell is going on?" Ben pushed, grabbing your arm when you attempted to retreat.
"Get off of me." You growled, eyes burning as you glared at him and he shrunk back but didn't leave "I knew they were wrong." You scoffed "Knew there was no way that it was true."
"That what was true?" Ben asked, his confusion plastered all over his face "What are you talking about."
"Frank and Maria told me that you were in love with me." You growled "Clearly they were mistaken." You finished before bringing up the number you needed and pressing call "Bye Ben."
The younger Miller stood there in shock, his mind taking longer than he would have liked to catch up with his feet. When he'd made it to the main entrance you were hopping back into Frank's truck, the man had stopped at Ben's local liquor store to fetch more wine for his wife.
Ben called out for you but he knew he was too late. You were out of earshot and speeding out of site and he sobbed as he watched you leave. Cursing his decision to call Kayleigh. He'd hoped that some no strings attached sex would help him work out some frustrations. He'd never thought for a second that you would turn up at his door.
Yet you had and the expression you wore… One of heartbreak and betrayal would be permanently seared into his memory for the rest of his life. He knew he had to make this right… He just wasn't sure how.
…
You'd ignored every call and message from Ben. You'd declined drinks with the group. You'd barely left your apartment. You hated the fact you'd let Frank and Maria get your hopes up. You'd known deep down that there was no way that Ben liked you… so there was no hope in hell that the man loved you. He was well out of your league and you were painfully aware of that. If you were being honest with yourself, you knew that Mike was too but for whatever reason, the man had chosen to spend the rest of his days with you so it gave you some comfort to know that you wouldn't end up alone.
Maria had been hounding you all day to go to the bar with them. Mike was out of town on business and she'd thought that it would take your mind off of being alone. Little did she know that Mike wasn't the reason you had been so withdrawn. She had finally relented though and so that is how you had found yourself drinking wine alone and watching reruns of friends.
BANG BANG BANG
You groaned as the sound echoed through your house. You weren't sure who could possibly have decided to visit you at 9 pm on a Saturday and if you were being honest with yourself, you were in no humour to entertain.
BANG BANG BANG
You angrily pushed yourself to your feet and traipsed over to the door, opening it aggressively as you went to glare at the offender.
"What do you…" You trailed off when you saw a sad and flustered-looking Ben in your doorway. "Ben… What are you doing here?"
"I came to talk." He answered breathlessly, brows pulled together tightly "Can I come in?"
You held the door open wider and motioned for him to enter, watching him as he made his way over to your couch and perched himself on the edge. You followed him and sat down on the couch across from him, watching him closely as you waited for him to speak.
"So… You wanted to talk." You grumbled, "So talk!"
"You said that Frank and Maria told you that I was in love with you." He started and you nodded.
"Clearly they were way off base." You scoffed, grabbing your wine and gulping the last of it down before grabbing the bottle to replenish it.
"They were telling the truth." He piped up and your hand stilled as your eyes drifted up to look at him "I fell in love with you more or less the moment I first saw you."
"But-" Ben held up his hand and you stopped talking.
"I kept trying to figure out ways of asking you out but I kept bottling it." He confessed as he wiped one of his large hands over his mouth "I'd never been so nervous to ask someone out before but then… I've never felt like this about someone before."
"Ben…"
"Then you and Mike started dating and I'd missed my chance." He choked "So I convinced myself that I would get over you… that these feelings would fade only they didn't… They got worse and then you caught Mike with that other woman and I dared let myself hope that the universe was giving me another chance…" he trailed off, tearful eyes locking with yours as he let out a shaky breath "And then you told me that you were going to marry him and my world fell apart."
"Why didn't you tell me this before?" You wept, tears slipping down your cheeks as you held his gaze.
"Because I didn't want to lose you." He confessed "But I also didn't know how to cope with these feelings so I decided that maybe a casual fucking situation would help me keep my mind off it but… Sex doesn't fix shit."
"Ben I…" You pushed yourself to your feet and started to pace "I just… I don't-"
Ben stood up and grabbed your shoulders, eyes locked with yours.
"Baby I love you… and I am so sorry that I hurt you but I was fallin' apart."
"I'm with Mike." You sobbed but he just shook his head.
"You don't have to be."
"I said I'd marry him."
"You can change your mind." He stated, his breath mingling with yours as he edged closer and closer to you "You can choose not to."
"Ben… Ben I-"
He stopped you with a kiss. His lips were soft against yours and his beard prickly. It was all different and all so perfect. His hands grabbed your hips and pulled you flush against his firm body before he laced his hand in your hair and deepened the kiss. You moaned when his tongue started to dance with yours and your core throbbed as he started to kiss down your neck.
"Ben… please."
"What… What do you want?" He breathed, his tongue laving your skin and driving you mad.
"Fuck me…" You whined "I want you to fuck me."
He tore your shirt open without ceremony, buttons pinging off the walls and the floor. He groaned when he pulled it down your shoulders to reveal your full breasts and normally you'd be self-conscious of the fact that they aren't perky or small but with Ben, you weren't. He pushed you back onto the couch and quickly latched onto one, sucking and flicking it with expert precision.
"Benny." You whined, your centre aching for him "Please I need more."
He pulled back so that he could tear off his shirt and pull down his shorts. Revealing his aching passion for you to ogle at from where you lay. Then he was on you again, kissing down your body. Nibbling and licking at your most sensitive areas before coming to a stop at your mound, still hidden beneath your sleep shorts. He looked up at you for silent permission which you gave with an eager nod of your head and he pulled down your shorts wearing a shit-eating grin when he revealed how soaked you were for him.
He dove straight in. Licking and sucking at your little bundle of nerves and pulling sounds from you that you didn't even know you were capable of. He was good with his mouth, amazing but it just wasn't quite enough to push you over the edge. Sensing this Ben pushed two fingers into your heat and crooked them just right. Sending you hurtling over and you gushed into his mouth as you screamed his name.
You didn't even have time to be embarrassed that you'd made a mess of him as he was pulling his briefs down and pushing into you quicker than you could blink. He was big. Filling you more than you were used to so you help him still a moment as you adjusted to his size, choosing to sloppily kiss him in the meantime.
"You feel so perfect." Ben purred as he started to thrust a little, each drag of his length inside of you setting off fireworks in your belly "Dreamt of this."
"Mmmm… Me too." You purred as you grabbed the globes of his ass and urged him to go faster "Fuck me, Benny… Fuck me harder! I can take it."
Ben didn't need to be asked twice. He snapped his hips back and forth with deadly accuracy, hitting your G-spot over and over again. You dug your nails into the strong muscles in his back as you sobbed from the pleasure this man was bringing you. You could feel yourself edging closer and closer to your next orgasm and Ben could feel it too which only made him double his efforts.
"Cum for me beautiful…" He purred "Let me feel you."
It took a dozen more thrusts to have you gushing and squeezing him, dragging him right along with you. Then the two of you lay there, panting and glistening in sweat as you revel in your post-sex high. He rolled onto his side and you rolled to face him, smiling as he cupped your cheek and kissed you sweetly.
"We shouldn't have done that." You said softly although you were struggling to regret it.
"I'm sorry but I am not sorry that this happened." Ben confessed "I love you and I think you love me too… So you need to choose…" He trailed off, his expression turning serious.
"Me, or Mike!"
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#ben miller fanfiction#ben miller x you#ben miller#ben miller triple frontier#benny miller x reader#benny miller triple frontier#ben miller x reader#benny miller x you#garrett hedlund fanfiction#garrett hedlund#triple frontier#triple frontier fanfiction
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Books I Read in 2023
* = Re-read
Check out past years: 2012, 2013 (skipped), 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022.
Follow me on Goodreads to get these reviews as they happen.
1) A Book of Blades: Rogues in the House Presents edited by L.D. Whitney
This book, assembled by the great guys behind the premier podcast in the genre, is an excellent way to sample a breadth of contemporary Sword & Sorcery fiction!
My favorite story was "The Blood of Old Shard" by John R. Fultz, with Scott Oden and Howard Andrew Jones' tales close behind, and there were no duds in the mix. "The Blood..." really surprised me with a heart and inventiveness which the opening doesn't give away yet, you realize upon finishing, deftly sets up.
2) Fires of Azeroth by C.J. Cherryh
Left my big ol’ spoiler-laden review on Goodreads for ya.
3) Black Paper: Writing in a Dark Time by Teju Cole
4) The Citadel of Forgotten Myths by Michael Moorcock
*5) Neuromancer by William Gibson
6) The Expert System's Brother by Adrian Tchaikovsky
7) The Expert System’s Champion by Adrian Tchaikovsky
I confess I finished the first book in this series having enjoyed myself, but wondering if I'd remember what I'd read a year from now.
I don't have that concern with its follow-up. Tchaikovsky has enriched the world he set up in the first installment quite nicely, and I hope I get to explore it further in a third.
8) Old Moon Quarterly: Issue 3
9) Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner
10) The Gurkha and the Lord of Tuesday by Saad Z. Hossain
11) The Dreamthief's Daughter: A Tale of the Albino by Michael Moorcock
12) Cinema Speculation by Quentin Tarantino
Do you think you’d enjoy hearing Tarantino discuss mainly his childhood and adolescence re: movies that meant a lot to him during that period? Congrats, this is extremely that. It could not be more that.
13) The Shadow of the Torturer by Gene Wolfe
14) Consider This: Moments in My Writing Life After Which Everything Was Different by Chuck Palahniuk
Roughly 70/30 instructional / biographical. Has a lot of good advice, focusing on a more literary mode than classic genre stylings, all in a voice and coming from a place any Palahniuk fan will be familiar with (I would have been stunned NOT to find something like the "Voice of Authority" snippet in a writing book by Palahniuk).
Entertaining and providing what mostly felt like useful, actionable advice, I'd say it can be handy for writers who aren't knowledgeable of the author's works, but knowing at least a couple of his books can help contextualize his advice so you can determine which parts are right for you or not.
15) Death Angel's Shadow by Karl Edward Wagner
16) Night Winds by Karl Edward Wagner
17) Wyngraf Issue #1 Edited by Nathaniel Webb
18) Rakefire and Other Stories by Jason Ray Carney
19) The White Lion by Scott Oden
20) Werner's Nomenclature of Colours: Adapted to Zoology, Botany, Chemistry, Mineralogy, Anatomy, and the Arts by Patrick Syme, Abraham Gottlob Werner
(Illustrator)
21) Tehanu by Ursula K. Le Guin
22) Lord of a Shattered Land by Howard Andrew Jones
*23) Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer
24) Authority by Jeff VanderMeer
25) Acceptance by Jeff VanderMeer
*26) The Sailor on the Seas of Fate by Michael Moorcock
27) Kundo Wakes Up by Saad Z. Hossain
28) Swords in the Shadows, Edited by Cullen Bunn
29) The Lies of the Ajungo by Moses Ose Utomi
30) Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World by Naomi Klein
31) The Encyclopedia of Amazons: Women Warriors from Antiquity to the Modern Era by Jessica Amanda Salmonson
32) New Edge Sword & Sorcery #1, Edited by Oliver Brackenbury
33) New Edge Sword & Sorcery #2, Edited by Oliver Brackenbury
34) A Book of Blades: Volume II: Rogues in the House Podcast Presents, Edited by L.D. Whitney
35) Old Moon Quarterly: Issue 4, Spring 2023: A Magazine of Dark Fantasy and Sword and Sorcery, Edited by OMQ
36) The Wingspan of Severed Hands by Joe Koch
37) The Sword of Rhiannon by Leigh Brackett
38) Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle
39) Old Moon Quarterly: Issue 5, Edited by OMQ
STATS
Non-Fiction: 6
Fiction: 33
Poetry Collections: 0
Comic Trades: 0
Wrote Myself: 2
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗
My favorite fics are ones I haven’t finished or published yet, but of my published ones I’m gonna say these are my faves of the moment:
the same conversation (616 Steve/Tony meet during Casualties of War, canon divergence, talking and yelling ensues)
Slant Rhyme (volume 4 era Steve and Tony are isolated together and have a growing psychic bond, conversations ensue)
The Widow (season 13 getting together Dean/Cas with Dean singing a bawdy folk song at Cas’s “congrats on not being dead party”)
The Culling of the Stars (616 Steve/Tony, Tony dies on the courthouse steps instead of Steve, grief ensues)
The Two Sights (vague X-Files timeline with Scully POV crossover with season 1 NBC Hannibal, Mulder/Scully and Will/Hannibal)
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I just finished the second volume of my Twilight, 50 shades, and Mortal instruments fanfiction. What do you think? https://www.wattpad.com/306532620-the-twilight-homicides-vol-1-an-unfortunate
https://www.wattpad.com/1304194274-the-twilight-homicides-vol-2-missing-persons
Sorry, I can't take read requests (As with prompt requests, I simply don't have time). But I took a quick peek and your premise sounds really interesting :)
Good luck with your fic and congrats on finishing a big chunk of it!
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10 with lee Punz and ler Sapnap? Also big congrats one 100 followers!
thank you so much!! thank you for being here :))
this was such a good request, i haven't had the chance to write for punz before but he's so fun!! I wanted to make it a bit longer but i feel like it would've dragged so,, next time!!
10. “How bad does this tickle on a scale of 1-10?”
lee!punz, ler!sapnap, ~500 words
--
If you had told Punz that meeting one of his best online friends in person for the first time– someone he's played games for 12 hours and sat on call for full days with– would end with him being red in the face and pinned to his own couch by said friend… he might have reconsidered the offer.
Actually, no, he probably wouldn't have, it was worth it to meet Sapnap.
But he definitely would've been more cautious.
"No way."
"Shut up, Sapnap!"
"No fucking WAY!" Sapnap laughed loudly to himself, staring at Punz in disbelief as the other man's face slowly turned more pink. "Dude, you're ticklish?!"
"No! I–I…" Punz tried to argue, but he knew Sapnap could see right through him with the way his voice cracked and how he stuttered, so he didn't try to argue any longer. He clasped his hands together, wringing then together as Sapnap never broke eye contact with him.
"We have to test this out." Sapnap said, sitting up straight and looking at Punz expectantly.
"No, we don't–"
"Come on, please?" Sapnap asked, tone genuine, before growing more mischievous. "Dream let me test it out on him when we moved in together, do you want me to tell him you wouldn't let me? That won't end well for you, Punzie."
Punz knew he was right. He decided to bite the bullet, just this once.
"Fine–" Before he could even finish his sentence, he was tackled back onto the couch and Sapnap was sitting on top of his legs, already wiggling his fingers teasingly. "What the fuck, Sapnap?!" He yelped, pushing at Sapnap's knees to try to push him off. "You– you can't just do that!"
"Yes I can!" He exclaimed in victory. "Any last words, my silly little tickle boy?"
"Just-!" He squeaked out, voice cracking again due to his nerves. "Just, at least be careful, please. Don't go overboard."
Sapnap's smile softened at that, nodding and patting Punz's chest lightly.
"Of course," He said, going back to wiggling his fingers. "Now tell me," He started, resting his fingers on Punz's stomach, causing him to gasp and tense up, squeezing the couch cushion where his hands rested. "How bad does this tickle on a scale of 1-10?"
And with that, Sapnap dug his fingers into the soft fabric of Punz's hoodie, wiggling his fingers all up and down his torso. Punz burst out laughing, throwing his head back and squeezing his eyes shut.
"Sahahapnahap!'
"That's my name! Not a number, though, come on, 1-10."
"Ihihi dohohon't– I dunnohoho, just stohohop!" Sapnap didn't respond, only pushed his hands under Punz's shirt to tickle at his bare skin instead. His laughter raised in volume, and he shook his head. "OKAHAHAY! Ihit's lihike– LIHIHIKE– it's aha sihihix ohor seheven, mahaybehehe…"
"A seven?"
"YEHEHES! Now stohohop!"
Sapnap did stop, but only to decide on his next spot to move to. He eventually settled on digging his fingers into Punz's underarms, and judging by the way Sapnap had repeated his earlier question again for that spot, Punz could only assume this was going to be a way more exhausting visit than he had hoped for.
#lee!punz#ler!sapnap#100 followers event tag#this is the first one omg#kasey youve christened the event lmao#kasey writes stuff#cals writing
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Racing Thoughts - P.1
karl jacobs x gn!reader
CW: relationship negligence, ANGST, slight yelling
tldr: Reader isn’t getting the attention they want. They’ve had enough.
a/n: this is the first thing I’ve written since high school as well as the first time I’ve posted on tumblr since high school. Pls be gentle.
Part 1 - Part 2
***
“Baby, can we do something together? I feel like we haven’t done something in ages.” Y/n stood at the door, asking their boyfriend meekly. They already knew the answer though. It’s been different variations of same answer for the past two months. An apology, an excuse, followed by an empty promise. They always had high hopes of a different answer, but the expectation always remained low.
“I’m sorry, baby. I gotta finish planning out this stream for the SMP. It’s getting closer and closer every day so I need to make sure I plan it out well. We can watch some TV before we go to bed though.” Karl said, not tearing his eyes from his work. Y/n knew that they wouldn’t. They’d put one episode on and he would be asleep 5 minutes in.
Y/n sighed. No matter how many times they’ve mentioned the one sided feeling in their relationship with Karl, it seemed that nothing ever changed.
He’s more in love with his work than you.
He just has a lot on his plate, cut him some slack.
Why? So you can keep moping around, feeling lonely in this apartment you should be sharing with you boyfriend?
Similar thoughts ran through their brain everyday, like an angel and a devil whispering in either ear. They knew Karl never meant any malintent. He had a lot to juggle between the SMP streams, alt streams, Mr. Beast work, and whatever else he had going on. But it wasn’t fair that y/n always felt like they fell on the bottom of that list. It was starting to take a toll. Why invest all of your time, energy, and love in someone who can’t reciprocate it?
Y/n went to their room. They couldn’t stay here, in their apartment, they knew that. Not in a place where they felt like the bottom of the barrel. They needed out. Just for a day, or two, or three. It’s not like Karl would even noticed, right? He barely paid attention to them while they were here so what would the difference be if they weren’t?
Y/n reached for their duffel bag from under the bed and began to pack. They didn’t know how long they would be gone so overpacking looked like the best plan of action. The next forty five minute were spent filling the bag until they couldn’t any more. While double checking for anything they could’ve missed, they heard their name from the door frame.
“Y/n?” Karl said, his tone confused. They locked eyes, “What’s going on?”
Y/n froze. They didn’t expect him to finish working for another fifteen to thirty minutes. Of course they planned on telling him before they left, but him finding out this way just made the conversation ten times harder.
“Oh, hey Karl. I was just about to come up and tell you,” not a complete lie, “I’m going to (y/b/f)’s house tonight. I just need to get some thoughts together and I don’t think that’s going to go over well here.”
“Oh, uh- what kind of thoughts? Anything I can help with?” He asked. There was an immediate panic in him. The way his eyes darted around and he started to play with his hands showed the feeling. He knew what thoughts you needed help with, you both have talked about it them a handful of times. He just never wanted to accept that he was the reason these thoughts kept popping up.
Y/n sighed, thoughts continuing to race through their head.
He’s making this harder than it needs to be.
But he deserves to know the truth.
Does he? He practically has been like a stranger the last few months.
Except he’s not. He’s your boyfriend that loves you.
He has a weird way of showing it.
The back and forth continued, until they broke it to respond. Hastily, they said “No, I have to figure this out with (y/b/f). Sorry, Karl.”
Y/n picked up their bag and pushed past him, heading toward the front door. They could hear Karl’s footsteps close behind.
Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be.
“Y/n?” They ignored him, but he kept calling. “Y/n?” They continued their path to the front door. His footsteps stopped. “Y/n, please!”
Y/n turned around. They faced each other from opposite sides of the living room. His eyes looked sad, confused, and hurt. Through all the emotions that shone through his eyes, he spoke evenly, “Are you breaking up with me?”
The question laid heavy in the air. The thoughts came back.
Am I? Will I?
If things keep going this way, yeah.
But he has to slow down eventually, right? He doesn’t mean to make you a low priority.
You’ve been saying that for the last two months. He won’t slow down.
“I don’t know,” they said honestly, “I’ve told you, I’ve been feeling alone in this relationship and there hasn’t been any change to make me feel less like that.”
“Baby, you know I have a lot going on. I can’t just drop my work or I’ll fall behind.” Karl defended.
“So you drop me instead?” The response was quick, almost cutthroat.
“That’s not what I said-“
“But it’s what you meant.”
Tensions were high. Both pairs of eyes glossed with tears. Y/n gripped tightly at their duffle while Karl’s head hung low, thinking of the words to say.
“Fine, just leave then,” he ran his hands through his hair as they made eye contact. That wasn’t the response y/n was expecting.
“That’s it? There’s the threat of a break up and you’re just going to say nothing?” Their volume was louder and more forceful.
“What am I supposed to say? You seem to have your mind made up on how I prioritize things between my work and you so what else am I supposed to do?” His volume and tone grew louder than theirs. Tears slowly began to roll down his cheeks. His face quickly went from his natural color to a red tone, “I hate making you feel like less of a priority, but I can’t stop working. I have deadlines to meet for everyone”
“Well congrats. You made every deadline for work, but haven’t been able to meet my needs or wants in a relationship for 2 months. If you can’t then maybe you just shouldn’t be in a relationship right now, Karl.” With that, y/n turned on their heel and went out the front door.
You’re going to regret leaving.
It may be the best choice to save myself.
***
Part 2
#karl jacobs x reader#karl jacobs#reader insert#karl jacobs fanfic#karl jacobs angst#karl jacobs x reader angst
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Did somebody say send in an AU?
1. Chromeskull AU - MOB Boss Jesse NSFW and a quick SFW
Chromeskull gets what he wants and the reader is no exception. He wants to fuck her in public, at that cute little bistro she loves so much? He'll do just that.
Maybe even fuck and creampie her in his office, a few associates awkwardly standing there as he tells her how pretty she looks on his cock, how the men around them just want her so bad, and what a lucky girl she is because she gets his dick whenever she wants!
The second quick one that's SFW she loves nothing more than shopping and Though Jesse finds the whole ordeal a drag, he can't help but find her the cutest thing on the planet with every time she happily shows off what she wants to buy.
Congrats btw!
@slasherrabbitmadness
Hello! I'm SO sorry this took me so long to finish! It's Not Worksafe and it's under the cut!
Lunch Date
You received the message from him shortly after waking, and promptly showered, dressed up, and left the house. He didn’t like to be kept waiting.
It all seemed like a dream, one day you were a nobody, the next you were the main squeeze of the most powerful mob boss on the east coast. Known as much for his cruelty as his metal mask, he was called ‘Chromeskull’ by his enemies and underlings, but you knew him as Jesse.
Jesse wanted you to have lunch with him, your favorite bistro in the state, and one he enjoyed quite a lot as well.
Something he never told you, the restaurant was part of his empire.
You noticed him instantly as you walked through the door, and you quickly took your seat across from him.
“On my lap, pet.” The synthesized voice spoke from his phone. You slowly nodded and switched spots, sitting on his lap and leaning against him. Even through his suit, one you were certain cost more than your house, you could feel how muscular he was.
One of Jesse’s arms wrapped around you, the other flipped open the menu, just in time for the waitress to arrive. Jesse ordered for the both of you, and you sat patiently with your arms circled around his shoulders.
You froze.
“Jesse, what are you doing?” You hissed in his ear, trying to keep your volume down and not focus on his hand unbuttoning your jeans.
Jesse put a finger to the teeth of his mask, the closest he could get to shushing you. He continued his journey downwards, his fingers sliding past your jeans and underwear, quickly pressing inside you.
With his other hand, he quickly typed something on his phone and held it up for you to read. “Be a good pet and take them off.”
You knew better than to disobey him, so, reluctantly, you shimmied out of your pants and underwear, dropping them on the floor. You quickly looked around the room, only to notice that everyone seemed to be making a very pointed effort of not looking in your direction.
“Only I get to look at you.” Jesse’s phone spoke.
From behind, you could hear the sound of his zipper slowly descending. You suddenly got the feeling this would be one lunch date you would never forget.
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Sweater pattern!
I knit this sweater top down with raglan increases in the round. There are increases on the top of the sleeves to give it the volume with a ribbed cuff to give it a balloon shape. The neckband is added at the end by picking up the neckband stitches. I did knit this to be slightly cropped, so finish the hem where you feel comfortable. This pattern was made for my size. My chest is 35”, and the sweater measures 39” around the chest. It’s my first time making a pattern, so I’m not confident enough to suggest how to alter this for different sizes! I’ll update this as I learn more.
Gauge
10 stitches x 13 rows = 4x4” swatch (POST BLOCKING)
Needles
10mm circular
9mm circular
Materials
(Used in the finished pictures)
Miss Babs K2 yarn
2 skeins Naked (480 yd)
1 skeins Lacewing (240 yd)
1 skeins Moss (240 yd)
960 yd total
Any 3 color way in a bulky yarn should serve you well. I loved working with Miss Babs because of its color and strand consistency.
Stitches to Know
K - knit
K4B - knit 4 below
K2tog - knit 2 together
P - purl
P2tog - purl 2 together
KFB - knit front and back
M1R - make 1 right
M1L - make 1 left
M1P- make 1 purl wise
PM - place marker
Raglan
Increases are worked on the right side of the work, at each side of a raglan-st. The raglan-st is a normal stitch and is worked as k1 on the RS and p1 on the WS. I placed stitch markers to either side of the raglan stitches to keep track. The increases are worked as:
M1R: Using the left needle, pick up the loop between two stitches from the back, k1.
M1L: Using the left needle, pick up the loop between two stitches from the front, k1 tbl.
In the first row of the pattern I indicate this at raglan-st(M1L, PM, k, PM, M1R) for the left side and raglan-st(M1R, PM, K, PM, M1L) for the right side. Afterwards I refer to it as (M1L, K, M1R) or (M1R, K, M1L). Always ensure the markers are directly on either side of the knit stitch, not the increase.
Bubble stitch calls for multiples of 4+3, so I cast on 39 stitches on the 10mm needles. Do not join to knit in the round yet, because we first work a few rows flat to create the back.
Cast-On/Yoke
CAST ON: 39 stitches with Color 1 (for me its Naked)
WORKING FLAT
(WS) Row 1: P across
(RS) Row 2: k1, raglan-st(M1L, pm, k, pm, M1R), k8, M1L, raglan-st(M1L, pm, k, pm, M1R), k17, raglan-st(M1R, pm, k, pm, M1L), k8, raglan-st(M1R, pm, k, pm, M1L), k1
Row 3: P across
Row 4: k1, M1L, k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to last st, M1R, k1.
Row 5: P across
Row 6: k1, M1L, k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to last st, M1R, k1.
Row 7: P across
Row 8: k1, M1L, k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to last st, M1R, k1.
Row 9: P across
Row 10: k1, M1L, k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to last st, M1R, k1.
Row 11: P across
Row 12: k1, M1L, k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to last st, M1R, k1.
Row 13: P across
There should be 97 stitches on your needles
Join the work into a round on the next row
Row 14: k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to end of row.
cast on 6 new stitches at the end of the row. Join to continue knitting in the round, making sure that your work is not twisted.
Row 15: K to the first raglan-st. The beginning of the round is now moved to this point.
There should be 111 stitches on your needles.
The work should be divided as: 1 raglan-st, 22 stitches (left sleeve), 1 raglan-st, 31 stitches (back), 1 raglan-st, 22 stitches (right sleeve), 1 raglan-st, 32 stitches (front).
Work in stockinette stitch in the round, while at the same time working raglan increases on every other round:
*(M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1L, K, M1R), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to marker, (M1R, K, M1L), k to end of row*
On the next round, k across all sts.*
Repeat from * to * a total of 6 times for 159 stitches.
Body
Place the 34 sleeve stitches on either side on hold while you knit the body. I placed mine slipped through leftover yarn to secure them while I worked the body.
Cast on 4 sts at each underarm (total 99 stitches), with your preferred in-row cast on method. The beginning of the round in now under the left arm. Place a marker in the
middle of the new sts at the left underarm to indicate the new beginning of round. This is the beginning of the bubble stitch pattern. This is the basic bubble stitch pattern:
**
Row 1: Knit across
Row 2: Knit across
Row 3: Knit across
Row 4: Knit across
Row 5: Knit across NOTE: when changing yarn color, do so after this row, before starting Row 6
Row 6: Knit 3, * Knit 4 Below, Knit 3 *
**
Work 3 repetitions in Color 1 (Naked)
Change to Color 2 (Lacewing) on the third repetition for row 6
Work 2 repetitions in Color 2 (Lacewing)
Change to Color 3 (Moss) on the second repetition for row six
Work 3 repetitions in Color 3 (Moss)
This gave me a slightly cropped look, which I was going for. If you want a longer sweater, I think adding a pattern repetition in Color 2 (for a total of 3 repetitions) will give the desired length. Try on the sweater to determine if the length is right for you, before beginning to work the bottom rib. Change to the 9 mm circular needles and work 5 rows in rib (k1, p1). Bind off in established rib pattern.
Neckband
RS facing, with the 8mm circular needles pick up and knit 69 stitches, starting at the
transition between back and sleeve. The number of stitches to be picked up corresponds to approximately picking up 1 stitch per stitch along the neckline. In the sloped part of the neckline, you pick up 1 stitch for every row, corresponding to 10 stitches at either side.
Work 6 rounds in k1, p2 rib (k1, p2) (69 stitches)
Work 1 round with *k1, p2tog* decreases until the end of the round (46 stitches)
Work 6 rounds in k1, p1 rib
Work 1 round with * K1, p1, M1P* increases until the end of the round (69 stitches)
Work 5 rounds in k1, p2 rib. Bind off loosely in established rib pattern.
Fold the neckband down so the seam and bound off edge line up together. I crocheted the two seams together using a single crochet, but you could also mattress seam or sew these two together.
Sleeves
Note that the sleeves are extra-long to give that voluminous look. They are knit using the Magic Loop technique.
Back to Color 1! Place the 34 sleeve stitches on hold for one of the sleeves back onto a 10mm circular needle. Pick up and knit the 4 stitches cast on at the underarm (total 38 stitches). The beginning of the round is in the middle of these 4 new stitches.
The first 27 rows should be worked in stockinette, adding a one stitch increase every other row
*Row 1: knit across
Row 2: k1, kfb, k across*
.
.
.
Row 27: knit across
There should be 47 stitches on your needles.
Refer to the body section for the bubble stitch pattern.
Work 3 bubble pattern repetitions in Color 1 (Naked)
Change to Color 2 (Lacewing) on the third repetition before row 6
Work 4 bubble pattern repetitions in Color 2 (Lacewing)
Change to Color 3 (Moss) on the second repetition before row six
Work 4 bubble pattern repetitions in Color 3 (Moss)
Change to 8 mm (magic loop or dpns). Next round: * k2tog, p2tog *, repeat from * to * until the end of the round (24 stitches). Work 5 rounds in a k1, p1 rib. Bind off in established rib pattern.
Work the other sleeve identically.
Finishing
Weave in the ends and block. I use Soak Wash for my knitted items because it’s no rinse.
Congrats on your new sweater!
#knitting#sweater#knitpattern#handknit#craftnotcrap#crafts#knitblr#knitwear#knitstagram#knittersgonnaknit#knittersoftheworld#knittersofravelry#topdown#raglan#cuffed
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Shade Lord Ghost Drabbles: Sly's Shop
I fulfilled 2 requests again or really more like 1 and a fourth of another.
"It would be neat if Ghost reunited with the nailmasters!"
And
"Maybe Ghost having "growing pains" so to speak? I can't imagine growing that much that quickly would be comfortable."
The plan was always to have a chapter/s dedicated to Ghost meeting back up with all the Nailmasters because I didn't have room for them in the epilogue. So while I only did Sly in this one I plan on doing Sheo, Oro, and Mato at some time in the future (the Nail Smith will be with Sheo of course). Don't know when because like I said I get around to things when I get around to them and because I'd like to finish the other requests I've had sitting in my inbox first.
~
Sly’s shop was a lot smaller than they’d thought it was. If Ghost’s new form wasn’t pure void, allowing them to shift and partially dissolve their shape with some degree of freedom they never would’ve gotten themself even through the door. Even at the smallest they could compress themself they were still hunched over an uncomfortable amount.
Sly wasn’t here though. Meaning, he had to be in the basement. … Ghost probably shouldn’t try to fit down there if they were having thismuch trouble up here. So instead… “Sly,” they called in what was hopefully a reasonable volume.
No response.
“Sly!” They had to tell him about their newfound godhood as they’d told all their other friends. Apparently he wasn’t here though? So they should probably…
Sly vaulted out from under the counter and up onto it, his nail drawn and pointed at them. “I don’t know what you want with me but I’m not going down without a fight.” Even as small as he was, Ghost’s hunched position made it possible for the tip of his nail to poke into their face between their eye sets.
Ghost couldn’t blame him or any of the others for not knowing it was them and thus couldn’t blame anyone for being wary of them at first but… were they really that scary now? Seemingly everyone’s first thought was that they meant harm, why? …
“I’m not scary.” Well actually they were, huh? Since so many seemed to think so. “You don’t need to be afraid.”
Sly glared suspiciously but lowered his weapon, still held it ready at his side though. “If that’s the case then… if you got geo, I got stuff to sell.”
Maybe later they would need to buy something from him again but for now they carefully pulled out the two halves of their former shell. The cramped space made it more difficult for them to hold it up in a place Sly could see it but they managed. “My old form. I’m a god now.”
Sly stared in silence for a few seconds before replying. “How?”
“I killed the Radiance in Godhome.”
“Hmmm… congrats I suppose.
“Thanks!” They pulled their old shell back in, hiding it away in their void form.
Now that they’d told Sly they had to go tell the other Nail Masters and the Nail Smith too of course. … First, they had to get out of Sly’s teeny-tiny shop though. Not quite sure of where the exit was anymore they just pressed themself back until they found it, flowing through it like a massive and prolonged shadow dash.
On the other side Grimmchild greeted them with a happy chirp as they shook themself out and stretched. Small spaces were definitely no longer their friend. Getting used to that was going to be a challenge after how long they’d been trapped in as shell that couldn’t molt.
“You’re not even going to buy anything?”
They looked down to see that Sly had stepped out too. His nail was gone, presumably back in its hiding spot. “I finally got in new stock,” he continued.
Interesting but… “Later.” They wanted to finish telling all their friends they were a god now first. So they would all know and thus not fear them when they came around but also because they wanted to share their achievement. Especially since they had a voice could do so with.
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freedom, books, flowers, and the moon.
A/N: Here is my entry in @approved-by-dentists ‘s follower celebration! Congrats again on 400, lovely! My prompt was Bookstore AU - so here we go! I’m worried that it doesn't entirely fit the prompt but there is a bookstore! So I'm halfway there! The book I mention is The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern (I always recommend this book - read it, love it) and I had to use Yorkshire because Yorkshire is home to the Brontes and I live in Bronte country so I had to do it. Nevertheless I hope you all enjoy! As always, I love you all!
Summary: “With freedom, books, flowers and the moon, who could not be happy?” - Oscar Wilde.
Pairing: Harry Potter x Fem!Reader
Warnings: mentions of war, mentions of grief, mentions of book hangovers.
Word count: 4.1k
For many, the second wizarding war had been less than a year long. They had experienced less than a year of the insecurity, the anxiety and the dread that goes through everyone’s mind in time of war.
For Harry, the second wizarding war had been a lot longer. He had been battling the Dark Lord mind to mind for years, and after his defeat, he felt exhausted. He was not only drained physically – the final duel taking its toll on him. But he was drained mentally, for all of a sudden, the space in his mind that he had shared with the darkest wizard in a century, was free. Harry could no longer feel his presence within him; the dark part of him that festered like an open wound.
It was a good thing, that he could no longer feel him. Harry knew that. But still, a part of him lingered too long on the idea that this was all a sense of false security. He had been living on the adrenaline of the chase for too long, and now that it was leaving his body, Harry had no clue what he needed to do. What he wanted to do.
He had the option of becoming an auror, and his teachers had supported him with that career choice. But a small part of him wondered whether he would be damaging himself further by throwing himself back into the fray to round up the last remaining Death Eaters.
It’s Hermione who plants this idea of him going away in his head. She has watched him battle internally with the different possible paths of his future; she had watch him argue and argue with his mind until he still had no answer.
Hermione tells him one night, over tea at the Burrow, “Harry, why don’t you get away for a while?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean go somewhere. Take some time away to heal; to come to terms with the last few years of your life. We’ve spent so long on the move, always having to be aware, that you haven’t had the time to process your emotions for everything.”
“Where would I go?” He whispers, fear creeping into his voice.
“I’m not sure,” Hermione says softly, “Let’s look at a map.” With a flick of her wand, a map of the British Isles lays itself out in front of them. “Where would you fancy?”
“I’m not sure,” Harry confesses, eyes pouring over the details of the maps – taking in the numerous counties.
“Okay. Close your eyes and point on the count of three.” Hermione states, “Are you ready?”
Harry closes his eyes, shuffling forward on the chair, “I’m ready.”
“3…2…1.” Hermione counts, and Harry’s finger circles the map once before landing.
Harry refuses to open his eyes. He’s in disbelief that he’s let himself decide his future on a three, two, one countdown. He’s been impulsive before but now he’s wary.
He doesn’t want to look. “Where am I going then?”
He can hear Hermione shuffle to look at where his finger has landed; her silence giving nothing away.
“Hermione?” He asks, slight panic setting in.
“Harry, take a look.”
Harry opens his eyes, blinking quickly before focusing on the map and his finger.
His finger points to a small village in Yorkshire. A place he had never been to.
Harry falls back into the chair with a sigh, “I guess that’s where I’m going.”
--------------------------
Spring:
Harry moves in the spring.
He spends the final weeks of winter with the Weasleys being stopped at all times of the day to be told why he shouldn’t be doing this; that he could heal just as well in the wizarding world.
He loves their attempts to get him to stay, but they don’t entirely understand why he needs to go.
He arrives in the small Yorkshire village on a bright day in March; blossoms have started to bloom on the trees and in a week, they would be covered, filling their air with their sweet and floral scent. His misses everyone strongly; feeling it keenly within his chest, but he knows how desperately needed to get away.
A month into his arrival at the small village in the moors, Harry feels he has settled very well into country life. He’s found his routine and he feels as if he’s beginning to heal from the trauma of the war and before. The clean, country air clears his lungs and his daily walks through the village has mind numb enough and his body tired enough that he can sleep through most of the night without waking once from a nightmare.
He still struggles; his still has those moments where he can’t be certain the war has finished and he’s safe but the longer he spends in the village, the less they happen.
A month into his arrival at the small village, Harry realises that he needs to thank Hermione for what she did for him that night at the Burrow. She saw his suffering and gave him a solution.
Walking through the green, he spies the small bookshop nestled on the corner of a small side street. If there was anything on this planet that Hermione loved more than Ron, it was a book.
Harry pauses for an instant outside the door to take in the window display. Both windows, and even the door window, have been painted with a cherry blossom display to mark the true entrance into spring. The blossoms fall from the tree in swirls of pinks and red, falling over the books perched on the windowsill inside – the personal recommendations for the season.
The bell above the door chimes as Harry enters the shop and he is immediately overwhelmed with the smell of old books, worn leather, and what he think is lavender. It is comforting though. He had never been much of a reader other than Quidditch strategy manuals, but something about this little shop has him feeling at home among the countless shelves piled high with books. He takes a few steps further into the shop, eyes running over title after title on multiple paperbacks and hardbacks.
Harry runs his fingers over the spines of the leather-bound volumes but stops when he realises that he hasn’t any idea of the type of book Hermione enjoys to read. She had textbooks in her hands so often at Hogwarts, but Harry can’t recall the last time he had seen her with a fiction book open in her lap.
He frowns, glaring at the books.
“Can I help you?” A lilting voice sounds from behind the stacks, “You look to be in a bad mood with my books, and that can’t possibly be right.”
“This is your shop?”
“For the last year it has been, before that I used to just work weekends.”
“It’s very homely.” Harry compliments.
You chuckle, “It’s overstocked but it adds charm and character, plus the more books there are, the stronger the old book smell and who can resist that! So stranger, how can I help you?”
Harry blushes slightly, “My name is Harry, you can call me Harry. I can’t decide what to buy for a friend.”
You come out from behind the shelves, and Harry’s eyes rake over you – taking in the nose piercing and the small tattoos peeking out of the sleeves of your thin sweater.
“Well Harry, I’m (Y/N). What does your friend like to read?”
“I don’t really know; I only ever saw her read textbooks at school to keep her grades up.”
You smile understandingly; indecision was something you encountered often in your shop, “Alright, let’s see what I can drum up. Would you like to follow me?”
Harry nods in answer but you don’t see. You’ve already turned away from him making your way through the complicated maze of shelves. Harry follows blindly, keeping his eyes on the back of your head.
You stop by a shelf that isn’t as occupied as the others. In fact, compared to the other shelves, this one is empty of books. Only a few books stand on the shelf, wide gaps between them.
Your eyes run over their spines; head tilted slightly; you think before pulling a book from its space. “I think this one will do,” you murmur, holding the book out for Harry to take.
“Agnes Grey?” He reads from the front cover.
“You’re in Bronte country, you have to know that right?”
“I’ve never heard of them,” He admits to which you gasp, holding a hand to your chest.
“I am hurt, good sir. You’ll have to buy this book for your friend now.”
Harry smiles, “I think I might. If she has read anything by the Bronte’s, I’m not to know.”
“It’s a rare edition as well. There’s only around a fifty or so copies left so I’m making sure it’s going to good home.”
“It definitely is. My friend worships books.”
You lead Harry to the till where the book is rang through and paid for. “Let me know what she thinks? She must be very special for you to buy this.”
Harry takes the book with a smile, “I’ll be back to let you know.”
---------------------------
Summer:
Spring bleeds into summer, and the floral scent from spring has turned into something headier – pulling Harry out bed earlier, keeping him outside for longer. Each day he walks past your shop, waving back at you as you wave to him from your seat by the till. Harry returns to your shop when he received Hermione’s owl thanking him for his gift and asking where he found such a rare edition.
Harry was more than happy to pass on Hermione’s compliments to you, enjoying the way you light up at his friend’s words.
“What about you? Do you read?” You ask him.
Harry shakes his head. At the look on your face, Harry suddenly wishes he had read every single book available to him and Hogwarts. “You’ll have to recommend something to me.” He suggests.
You disappear between the stacks at his words, reading title after title before finding one you think he would like.
You give a shout of success when you find the book you were looking for. You refuse to show Harry the title as you place it gently into a paper bag.
“I know you’ll like this, but you have to promise me one thing.”
“Which is?” Harry replies, curiosity lacing his tone.
“You have to promise me to come back and tell me if you enjoyed it.”
“I promise.” Harry replies, too fast… much too fast, but it doesn’t seem like you mind.
You smile at him, “I’ll see you soon, hopefully.”
Harry reaches for his wallet, having every intention on paying you but your hand on his arm has him freezing, “No payment needed,” You state firmly, “Just come back and tell me what you think.”
Harry thanks you, which you wave away, before leaving. He hightails it back to his home where he makes himself a pot of coffee and sits down at his kitchen table with your brown paper bag in front of him. He feels nervous as he opens the bag, hands wrapping around a thick paperback.
The book cover is predominantly black, but there are two white figures on the front surrounded by objects found in a circus. Harry take a sip of his coffee before opening to the first page: ‘The circus arrives without warning.’
He doesn’t move for the rest of the day; he remains sat at his kitchen table in awe of the book in front of him. He finishes the coffee but doesn’t get up to make another post for fear of being pulled away from the story so soon. Harry feels as if the author herself has been in contact with magic and understands the base wonder that comes with it. His eyes pour over the pages, committing to memory the love story and the saga of The Night Circus.
He closes the book hours later, feeling both bereft and satisfied at the end.
For a long time, Harry stares at the book wondering how a collection of pages bound in black and white could hold him so tightly to the fictional world.
He goes to bed filled with happiness but also empty from the fact that he had finished it so soon. Thoughts of the books have him falling into a sleep wherein he doesn’t wake screaming from nightmares, but rather dreams of striped monochromatic circus tents and caramel popcorn.
Harry paces his living room until it’s a suitable time to run to your bookshop. The moment the clock strikes nine, he’s out the door, putting on his jacket as he runs. He holds the book in his hands as if it’s made of glass; as if one wrong move, and the dream world he entered from the first page, will be shattered.
The relief Harry feels when he sees your shop light on spurs him faster. He bustles in through the door, giving you a fright. “Harry!”
“What is this book?” He practically shouts, holding the cover up for you to see.
You grin widely, “So you finished it?”
“I didn’t move until I had!” He cries.
“So you enjoyed it then?”
“I loved it. I’ve never read a book like this before.”
“I knew you would. The minute I saw the cover I knew you would enjoy the book.”
“I just couldn’t put it down.”
You nod, knowing that exact feeling so well it was second nature, “Have I brought you to the dark side then, Harry?”
Harry grins toothily, “I don’t know. What else do you have?”
He visits your shop every day after that, bringing you lunch and a takeaway cup of tea. You admitted to him early on in your friendship that you got so caught up in the stacks of books that you often forgot to eat until it was closing time and you were ravenous, so Harry makes it his mission to bring you lunch.
He had never been much of a cook; had never needed to with the house-elves at Hogwarts but for you, he could scrape together a couple of sandwiches and a flask of tea.
Your bookshop gets more traffic through summer due to the tourist season – people come from far and wide to walk the moors and step where the Bronte sisters once did, each imagining their own Heathcliff or Mr. Rochester. Harry hasn’t seen you happier than when you recommend a book to a customer knowing that it is the right fit. You greet every customer with a smile and give them personalised recommendations if they’re struggling with their choice.
The window display changes too. A summer scene now covers the windows and door; bright colours depict a summer sunset at the beach whilst the books recommended this season are lovingly placed on the windowsill.
Summer also brings with it the change in your relationship. A close friendship develops between the two of you; you even going so far to invite Harry over to your flat above the bookshop. Harry’s nervous as he enters your home, but soon falls in love with it.
Pressed, dried flowers decorate the walls in frames. They litter the walls in their varying sizes. Harry finds himself wandering over to them, checking if his seven years of Herbology was to fail him. Irises, rose petals, lavender – he can identify those easily. However, there are some that he feels certain that Professor Sprout or Neville Longbottom wouldn’t be able to identify.
You notice him studying your walls, “It’s a hobby of mine along with the books.”
“It’s wonderful.”
“Thank you,” You murmur, shyly, “My grandmother taught me; she loved the quote by Oscar Wilde.”
“I’m afraid you’ve caught me at a disadvantage.”
“’With freedom, books, flowers and the moon, who could not be happy?’ She lived by this quote. It’s their bookshop below us, you see, and she taught me how to press flowers and she would always find something romantic to say about the moon. My grandmother was a free spirit that even my grandfather could not tame, but why would you want to?”
“She sounds like an incredible woman.”
“She was, I miss her.”
“She’d be proud of how you’re running the shop.”
“Thank you, Harry. Now would you like a drink? I have coffee, tea, hot chocolate…”
“I’ll have a coffee please.” Harry says, sitting down on the aged couch. Your flat is a collision of personalities; he can clearly see your grandparents influence among your own decoration and it creates something entirely unique.
You come back into living room with two mugs of coffee in either hand. You give one to harry before sitting next to him. He smiles at you in thanks before asking, “What are you reading currently?”
From the way your eyes light up as you talk about your current read along with your love for your shop, Harry begins to feel himself slowly fall in love with you.
He can feel the change in the air after that night. His feelings for you are well established within him. You help him feel hope for the future; for a better world – and he wants to share that world with you. but he feels the pressure of his secret weighing down on him.
He hasn’t told you out of fear; he can’t gauge your reaction to finding out he’s a wizard and classed as a war-hero. He’s worried to tell you for the panic that it could potentially ruin the budding relationship between you.
Harry confesses under candlelight. A summer storm knocked out the power, so he helps you light your large collection of candles before lying on the floor of your flat next to you.
There’s something pure about the atmosphere, with being surrounded by tens of candles that Harry feels he needs absolution from keeping this from you for so long. He whispers his confession; tells you everything. From his birth until now. He hopes and hopes for repentance among the flickering flames of the candles.
You’re silent through the exchange; letting Harry say his piece. Giving him the chance to unload the weight of the world upon his shoulders as if he were mighty Atlas.
In the end, what Harry says makes no difference to you. You had fallen in love with him over the short time you had known him, and what he confesses doesn’t affect your feelings in any shape of form. If anything, they make them stronger for it shows how much Harry must trust you to tell you something so deep and personal.
You turn onto your side once Harry has fallen silent and is waiting for your reply. You brush a hand across his forehead, pushing his hair back, looking at the faded pink scar in the shape of a lightning bolt. “You have been through a lot, haven’t you?”
Harry closes his eyes at the feel of your hand running through his hair. He hasn’t felt like this for so long; he cannot remember the last time he had felt this relaxed and safe at the same time. He whispers this to you, “I haven’t felt this safe in a long time.”
“I’m glad I make you feel safe.”
Harry turns onto his side, running a finger down the length of your face. He doesn’t miss how you shiver at his touch. He leans in slightly, intoxicated by your very presence but he pulls away at the last possible moment to ask, “Can I kiss you?”
Your free hand pulls him in by his shirt collar, “I’d thought you’d never ask,” You laugh before pressing your lips to his.
In the few months that he has known you, he has fallen head over heels for you. You help to calm the figurative storm that rages within him. In the little flat above the bookshop he has come to adore, he whispers that he loves you.
----------------------------
Autumn:
Summer gives way to autumn and the leaves begin to fall from the trees in earnest. The world returns to orange brown. Your relationship with Harry goes from strength to strength; you’re there to help with the nightmares and the panic that paralyses him now and then. It starts slow, using the bookshop as common ground to get to know each other better.
You decorate the display windows of the bookshop, bringing in Harry to help, though he would have helped you whether you had asked him or not. “Tell me again why we’re painting the windows?” he asks.
You flick a clean paintbrush at him, “Because Harry, it is autumn and autumn means one thing: Halloween. I do it every season; spring, summer, autumn and winter.”
Harry frowns, focusing his attention on painting the outline of a pumpkin, “I’ve never celebrated Halloween.”
“You haven’t? Why?”
“My parents were killed on Halloween, and my aunt and uncle never took me trick or treating anyway.”
You step down from the ladder, placing the paint pot to one side and wiping your hands on your apron. Your hand pulls his away from the window, focusing his attention on you. “I didn’t know, Harry, I’m sorry.” You murmur, wrapping him in a hug.
“You weren’t to know,” He sighs, hugging you tightly back.
You draw back slightly, still not letting him go, “How about this: we spend the day of Halloween mourning your parents, and we spend the evening eating ourselves sick on chocolate and sweets?”
“You’d spend the day with me?”
“I wouldn’t want to do anything else.”
So Harry spends his Halloween with you.
He spends his morning with you in the bookshop, stocking the shelves and reminiscing. You asked him if it would be too painful for him to talk about his parents, but he reassured you that his memories are few and far between so all he truly knows is what he has been told. For the rest of the day, he wanders between the bookshelves, telling you the stories of the Marauders.
“It would make a good book,” You gasp, breathless from laughter as Harry finishes his latest story.
“Do you think?”
“I think that if it was a book, I would definitely read it.”
Harry thinks over your words for a while. He wouldn’t ever write the book; his memories of his family are too precious for him to share with the world but he’s happy to share them all with you. As he dawdles in the shop, inhaling the comforting smell of worn leather and lavender, he thinks that he has never been more grateful for a bookshop in all his life. He feels almost whole again; your shop and you are helping to heal the ever-shrinking hole in his heart.
In the evening, he presses chocolatey kisses to your lips, interrupting you reading the same book that had started this all those months ago. You laugh into his mouth, the book falling to the side as you adjust your positions. You taste like Halloween sweets and he’s entirely addicted to it.
Harry wakes on the first of November with a clearer sense of the path he wants his life to travel down. As he watches you sleep, he knows that it involves books and you – the freedom you offer. Harry watches the sun rise across your face with a new found sense of purpose; he wants to stay here, and he wants to stay with you. He’s lived in this Yorkshire village for months, but he knows now where he wants to plant his roots.
-----------------------------
Winter:
Winter brings with it ice and snow, but it also brings with the year anniversary of his decision to move to the sleepy Yorkshire village.
Hermione and Ron begin to visit often; having not done so earlier to give Harry the chance to heal on his own. Harry introduces them to you on their second visit; you were full of nerves, but they quickly welcomed you into their group.
Hermione and Ron visit more now; Hermione having set up a book exchange with you.
The display windows have been painted to depict a winter scene; a log cabin with smoke, evergreen trees covered in lights. It looks like a perfect piece of heaven. Little did those who admired the window scene know, that his little piece of heaven involved this small corner bookshop opened each morning with love.
The time he spends in your bookshop has only increased; he tries to spend every waking moment with you, choosing to spend the nights with you in your flat above the shop.
Harry watches you as you help customers or as you dawdle aimlessly through the aisles in a moment of quiet. Your feet pad quietly on the carpeted floor and Harry can hear you hum the tune of a song so often played on the radio.
Harry has never really been a fan of books, but he is a fan of you. And he could watch you in your bookshop all day long.
***************
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