#chris is such a nerd (affectionate)

[fritzes]

I need everyone to see this

#I think my favorite part was alex but it’s all gold #chris is such a nerd (affectionate) #ben shelton #jj wolf #frances tiafoe #chris eubanks #thanasi kokkinakis #benoit paire #alex michelsen #max purcell #denis shapovalov #marcos giron #Youtube

[warletscarlet]

Wild Kratts Headcanons

genuinely have no clue if this fandom is dead or not but I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole and it isn’t stopping. So anyway here we go! All of my hc’s are strictly platonic, Krattcest shippers back away rn 🤺. This is the 2D characters and not referring to the actual people! I know the characters are basically them but this is specifically for the cartoon. they’re all headcanons I either liked or had myself.

-Being as close as they are, Martin and Chris are very physically affectionate with one another (and with the Tortuga crew at times, but mostly the bros). They’re always giving each other hugs or leaning on the others shoulder, or Chris just straight up climbs onto Martin’s back/shoulders.

-With their friends, the boys are always giving them hugs, small shoulder touches, things like that. It’s their natural way of interacting with the people they care about.

-The Kratts have been found sleeping in trees various times (mainly Chris). At this point nobody questions it though they do get worried about him falling out and getting hurt.

-The Kratt Bros are also sometimes found sleeping in the same hammock, whether it’s in the Tortuga or hung up on a tree branch. They usually do this when the other has a nightmare or after partially tough missions (I.E:Flight of The Pollinators, Platypus Cafe, plus other episodes but these are the ones I heard about most and I haven’t gotten to watching too much of the show again yet). Touch is their love language and sometimes they need this to remind themselves the other is okay.

-Chris climbs basically everything. He loves climbing and if you took him to a rock wall climbing gym he’d have a field day. You can find him in the oddest places on the Tortuga.

-Aviva isn’t the most touchy person but will give hugs out of gratitude/happiness.

-The brothers share a single braincell. That is all.

-Jimmy has a very close relationship to his grandmother and was raised by her; which is why he knows all of her recipes.

-Aviva is like a mom friend. Not in the sense she’s motherly but in the sense she has to babysit two hyperactive brothers who are constantly running around/getting in trouble and breaking things.

-Martin can carry Chris no problem (on his back, shoulders or bridal style), but Chris cannot carry Martin on his back/shoulders for long. Though he can hold him bridal style (as we have seen.)

-The bros are huge nerds. If you ask them about animals they will talk for HOURS about them.

-Koki is downright fabulous and can rock anything. Don’t @ me.

-Martin has ADHD and Chris has autism. Martin fidgets, gets distracted easily, and can act impulsively (though reels Chris in when Chris is the one being impulsive). He tends to run off during creature adventures. He has combined presentation ADHD and Martin also has a tendency to forget to charge his creature pod.

-As for Chris, he has autism. He doesn’t recognize social cues and corrects people when he thinks they’re wrong about something, and doesn’t realize when they’re annoyed with him for it. He also can be pretty blunt. And he has to keep things organized, such as how he organized all of his creature disks and hates them being moved out of place.

-Chris, out of everyone, cusses the most. He doesn’t around the Wild Kratt Kids but he will when with the crew/his brother. He has definitely called Zach a motherf*cker and Aviva and Martin found it hilarious.

-The Tortuga Gang have frequent movie nights, but they will never watch a movie where an animal dies with the brothers. They WILL cry.

-After the Tazzy Incident, Chris still has some Tazzy traits. Mostly just sharper canines but also more sensitive senses. He can’t hear, smell and see are well as he could when in tazzy form but it’s definitely increased from normal. His eyes also do that thing cat eyes do when they’re in the dark and the light hits them. Has 100% given Martin heart attacks and absolutely has used it to mess with Zach.

#wild kratts #headcanon #chris kratt #martin kratt #aviva corcovado #koki wild kratts #jimmy z #found family #platonic relationships

[perpetualexistence]

noahs line in before we die "but first we must cease dropping, our goal here would be stopping," is one of the best lines to come out of total drama imo

for a guy who (maybe?) doesn't like music (i couldn't find anything online about it, i might have just missed it but its a popular consensus in the fandom), he's pretty good at coming up with great lyrics on the fly and a decent singing voice too

I think the consensus mostly comes from the fact that Noah's a sarcastic, lazy little prick (affectionate). Combine that with the fact that the singing was mandatory during World Tour and Noah clearly doesn't like being forced to do things, it makes sense that the assumption would be that he doesn't like music. Not helped by the fact that a good amount of of his singing lines are sing-talking rather than pure singing.

But yeah, that line definitely slaps. It doesn't surprise me that the nerd who likes literature is fairly adept at coming up with rhymes. And what are lyrics, if not just advanced rhymes? It's proof that he can put effort into things when he wants to. Even when his life's in danger. To me it feels like an underrated Noah line. Though that isn't quite fair for me to say since I don't exactly know what is or isn't underrated.

...Though 'Come fly with us, come die with us' is my personal favorite. It's just the peak line that encapsulates World Tour. From commenting on Chris' sadism, to highlighting Noah's inherent laziness with only switching up one word, to the way he holds the note at the end.

#perp answers ask #total drama #total drama noah #td noah #total drama world tour #tdwt

[tortugatalks]

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗞 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝘄 𝗗𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗦/𝗢𝘀!|ᴴᶜˢ

a.n. the birds of paradise episode has become one of my all time favs! new comfort ep unlocked. like?!?! its seriously so wholesome :')

𓆉 gender neutral reader

𓆉 established romantic relationship

𓆉 no warnings! just fluff

Martin Kratt

━ literally dances every dance known to man more like attempts to and when i say he goes ham, he goes HAM.

━ his confidence is super contagious, so even if you're not that strong of a dancer, it will. not. MATTER. he will pull you in for a funky dance and you'll both lose yourselves in it, music booming. you guys receive some noise complaints here and there, but it's not like you can actually hear the rest of the gang sooo (unless the crew turns off the music to get your guys' attention, but more often than not, they cave in and end up joining you two instead <3)

━ ever seen those movie bits where ppl dance in their pjs and slide across the floor? yeah, thats the vibe! doesn't matter where you two are, if you're itching for a good dance, consider it done! many moments of you two trying to crack each other up included. it always involves some form of laughter and lots of tugging each other by the arms.

━ very affectionate in the way he dances and loves picking you up and and swinging you around to the rhythm. try to break free all you want, mans gets all chuckly and squeezes you tight!

━ dancing with him is an experience and he'll do anything to have you enjoy yourself!! won't hesitate to be overly cheesy in his advances if it means he gets to see you have fun.

Chris Kratt

━ gets so so sooo into it! he busts some moves so earnestly that he ends up tripping over his own feet more than 90% of the time and drags you down to the ground with him.

━ encourages you to let loose and does this thing where he tries to imitate your own dance moves. you've impressed him with your own moves that he can't help but want to replicate em! it derails into a competition of who can do the most impressive dance.

━ if there's room for it, mans will swing, leap and do all these flips that have him crashing literally everywhere. he gets a little shy about it—he was trying to stun you with his super cool moves after all—but he's quick to pick himself up and get back on his feet!

━ the nerd just adores it when you two dance similarly to creatures you've encountered in your adventures. blue footed boobies? peacock spiders? grebes? you've done it all!

━ makes jokes about "courting" you despite already being in a relationship with you, but c'mon, nobody can resist playing along with his shenanigans! it's not everyday you get to see him shimmy like this, so take full advantage of it!

Aviva Corcovado

━ admits with a light chortle that she isn't the most confident or talented dancer and to not expect much from her in the field of choreography, but literally no one cares about how "good" she can dance—she deserves to let her hair down and have herself a jammy jam!

━ if you're like her, prepare for lots of giggles as you two try to learn how to dance. eventually, the aspect of actually "learning" some moves is long gone as you two end up doing whatever comes to mind and just roll with it!

━ she feels very comfortable in her skin around you, so if you do happen to know how to dance, encourage her maximum level! it makes her feel so relieved that you wholeheartedly accept this quirk of hers that she gradually learns to not take herself so seriously! she loves showing off, so there'll definitely be moments where she'll exclaim "watch this!" before performing her own little dance move.

━ put on music like cumbias, urbano latino, tropipop or pop romanticona and she gets all giddy inside! she absolutely loves spinning, so please do take her by the hand and give her as many twirls as she'd like!

━ once shes reached the point where she's become sure of herself, she does this cute little thing where she pretends she's only met you now for the first time in forever as she asks for your hand to dance <3

Koki

━ the ultimate dancing queen!! enjoys making up her own dance moves on the spot and it's always the most sensational thing ever. the execution is so smooth that all her moves seem legit!

━ if you two were to dance a song made for two, you better believe she'll be the one taking the lead! very cheeky in the way she dips you out of nowhere. she thrives off being spontaneous on the dance floor and shaking her groove thing!

━ cheers you on as you dance to the sound of your own beat. she claps, whistles, woo's—the whole shabang! she's extremely adamant on making you feel goated with the sauce <3

━ the type to get a hold of absolutely anything, use it as a microphone and belt out the lyrics with you. she goes full throttle with it as if it were a real performance and for a while you two believe it to be true!

━ it's a heavy workout every time that whenever you're both done with dancing, you two just lean on each other's backs as you slowly fall to the ground, heavy breaths and all. compliment her; tease her about how she's got quite the happy feet and she'll chuckle out an airy "shut up" <3

Jimmy Z

━ chair dancing! chair dancing!! chair dancing!!!

━ it usually starts out with him listening to some bops on his headphones and telling you to take a listen. all it takes is you tapping your feet or bopping your head for him to disconnect his headset and blast the music out loud for the both of you to hear!

━ before you know it, you two are swirling in your own chairs—hovering literally everywhere and anywhere. a mixture of "whoas!" and laughter boom from wall to wall as you shimmy and wiggle in your respective seats.

━ loves doing this thing where you meet each other half way, outstretch your hands to each other and lunge yourselves around hq! sometimes your hands slip from each other and you're practically squealing like little kids, excitedly trying to come into contact again.

━ sure, you may bump into some walls and tech, but it's never enough to actually hurt you. mercy to anyone who happens to need something 'cause they'll literally have to zoom in zig zags to avoid a collision with either of you.

#wild kratts x reader #martin kratt x reader #chris kratt x reader #aviva corcovado x reader #koki x reader #jimmy z x reader

[christiancagesupporter]

Malakai is such a nerd (affectionate) like you can tell Chris hero trained him

#two of the biggest nerds in wrestling #i love them both #but yeah #chris hero #malakai black #aew #aew collision

[lesbicosmos]

dps but it's the sims part 9 - ✨ lesbian edition ✨

there's a new household next door 👀

it's chris and ginnyyyy

they're in love already

chris was listening to her practising for the next show <3

they went on a date and spent literally the entire time just talking and kissing

exhibit a

they're actually too cute i can't

other things that have happened

-i noticed in the background that meeks was using the microscope again, absolute nerd (affectionate)

-chris asked ginny out without me telling her to

-(also im gonna have them go meet the boys next part!!)

#why am i jealous of my own sims #someone be the chris to my ginny </3 #dps #dead poets society #dps fandom #dps sims #the sims #the sims 4 #chris noel #ginny danburry #chrisginny

[iamthepulta]

Hey which media/story/franchise is your liztlie AU based on? I've been trying to figure it out based on context clues and I'm getting no where. Please insert long ass info dump rant below.

OH HELL YEAH. <3

The Liztlie AU is based on the Fallen London universe by Failbetter Game studio! Fallen London is a decade-old browser game that’s updated regularly. It’s excellent. There’s also a PC game called Sunless Seas, which was my introduction to the fandom and still some of my favorite content. After the success of Sunless Seas, they made another PC game called Sunless Skies, which I love lore-wise, but for some reason can’t get into playing. (And now they have Mask of the Rose! Which just came out on the 8th! Also set in Fallen London, but a prequel to all of the games.)

For some background, Fallen London and Sunless Seas are set in the same location and same timeline. London as a city, has been pulled down into the cave called the Neath. (Mask of the Rose is set just after the Fall happens.) There are several different London factions, but most importantly, on one end of the Neath, there is a Gate. Sunless Skies is, strictly speaking, a possible AU timeline, set after London discovers and opens that Gate to a realm called the Reach.  

Sunless Skies is its own beast; all the lore in Sunless Seas and Fallen London is dialed up to 11. The focus is on either allying or destroying the 'Great Chain of Being', which includes everything from the industrialist time-manipulating nightmare London has become, to talking rats, to the “Gods”, the Suns of each realm which feed off of the souls of their inhabitants. The game developers did a great job at expanding the world of Fallen London in Sunless Skies, and there are several maps you can play through, a few dozen storylines, and a lot of cool content. (10/10, recommend. Although as fellow rock-eater, you might prefer Sunless Seas. It’s always a tossup.)

So because PC gameplay isn’t enough, people enthusiastically made an RPG out of Sunless Skies! Enter Grant Howitt and Chris Taylor. The Skyfarer RPG system is one page long. I’m biased because I hate long, complicated, number-based RPG systems, but I think this RPG is awesome. It was meant for short campaigns, it’s a d10 system, and your character is designed around being one of the officers on a Skies locomotive. Easy, inventive, and flexible.

Enter two ADHD geologists and a pandemic:

@paleomancer hit up our friend group one day and asked if we wanted to play a oneshot RPG in Skyfarer. We were socially distancing and mentally traumatized nerds, so of course the answer was Yes. And the oneshot was great! We made our characters, played the game for a few hours, finished the oneshot plot, and successfully carried our passenger to Elutheria along with her illicit books. We liked it so much we agreed to keep playing every few weeks just to keep in touch during the pandemic.

This was all well and good until I lost my mind playing Westlie. My dipshit friends (affectionate) thought it was a great idea for me, the First Mate, to be promoted when our captain kicked the bucket. I hadn’t written fiction since college, but I started writing again as I fleshed out her backstory and the DM and I crafted her sister, Morgan. Then I just kind of kept… creating stories and toying with different ways for Westlie to develop until @justanormalseagull and I were playing around with the Found Family/Adoption trope. She'd played Lizzie’s character, and in a burst of inspiration, I realized the plot of our first few Skyfarer seasons would still work well if Westlie adopted Lizzie and never left London. So I casually wrote five chapters as a gift, fell down the rabbit hole again, and now the Liztlie AU is a 200k monster. xD

So to really answer your question, the Liztlie AU is an AU of our Skyfarer Game, which is a translation of Sunless Skies, which is an AU of Sunless Seas, which is an offshoot of the ancient, niche, Fallen London browser game. xD The context clues are piecemeal at best, haha.

But the nice thing! At this point, the Liztlie AU is its own standalone story; it starts at the 'beginning' of the Skyfarer campaign, so you don't need to know anything about the Pyrrhus. And it's set in Sunless Skies, but I explain 90% of the world as Westlie learns about it anyway. Both aspects are basically Easter eggs for readers to enjoy if they happen to know. Which makes the absurdity of what I'm writing even greater because the AU is kind of my own novel now? But also, most definitely not.

The best links if you want to browse are: My Archive -> “the crew of the Pyrrhus” (for memes of the main campaign), "fl", “dnd”, "liztlie au", “wm”, “mw”, or just “westlie”

THANKS FOR ASKING! THIS MADE MY EVENING. :D NOW YOU KNOW! :D

Brief character summaries (links lead to more):

Westlie Faire is/was my Skyfarer PC. She has a horrible father, Arthur Faire, and ran away from the title of Heir to Fairweather Shipping Co. to be the First Mate on the Pyrrhus.

Morgan Faire is her younger sister. Extremely lucky due to [redacted] reasons.

Lizzie Twaddle is/was @justanormalseagull ‘s PC. She was an orphan who snuck aboard the Pyrrhus and got adopted as mascot by the crew. In the AU, she’s adopted by Westlie while she’s trying to sneak onboard a train and Westlie takes her back to London. Just wants a family. T__T

#liztlie au #ask #skyfarer #I'll probably reblog this a few times since I imagine other people are EQUALLY confused. OC stories are tough to learn about xD #The dnd and the crew of the pyrrhus tags will bring up the best old stuff. #the liztlie au and tags like 'morgan'/'westlie'/'lizzie' will bring up character descriptions and my character ramblings. #If you actually want pictures/writing I'd head to my art blog or the crew of the pyrrhus tag. The art is usually buried in the au tag :( #Thank you lmao; it's midnight here now and this made my night. xD You're the best <3

[babeyvenus]

💫 Venus' Masterlist 💫

About the Author

I'm Venus! Or you can call me Ve!

My page will mainly promote poc! and plus size readers!

• Pronouns: She/her

• 20♎

• I love all my different fandoms, and sometimes I lose track of each╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭

• Big book nerd

• Plus size babey

• Gamer/Streamer

• Part time Artist and roleplayer

• INFP Ambiverted (leaning introvert)

• Always down to make friends

• Affectionate giver and receiver

Speaking of, I'm not sure if anyone's told you today, but you look amazing! Hiya!

Content may include violence, heavy language, and triggering mentions.

Viewers discretion is advised

What I will and won't write

Will Write

Romance

Angst

Mild triggering mentions

Smut to a certain extent

Won't write

Adult x Child (Adult/17 and under)

Hateful content

♠️ Angst

☁️ Fluff

🌶️ Smut

With that being said:

Marvel

• Black Panther

Wakanda's Princess ♠️☁️

• Iron Man

That Red Dress (plus size reader) ☁️

• Tasm Peter Parker

A Little Chunk of Hope (NWH Spoilers) ☁️♠️

Venom?// ii☁️♠️

Karma's a Bitch ♠️

Help ♠️

Games

• TLOU

Home (Jesse x Riley! Twin! Reader) ☁️♠️

• Resident Evil

BioAttraction (Chris Redfield x black! bioweapon! Reader) ♠️☁️🌶️

• Persona 5

Ryuji Sakamoto

• TWAU

The Outcasts

Sick! Bigby ☁️

Latina! Reader gives Bigby homemade food ☁️☁️

Mundy! Reader fusses at Snow ☁️

Mundy! Detective! Reader fights Woody and Gren

Bigby denies reader's love P.1//P.2♠️☁️

Hurt! Bigby☁️

Bigby vs the cat☁️

Bigby x insecure! Black reader ♠️☁️

Tv Shows

• Teen Wolf

Derek Hale

My Future ☁️♠️🌶️

Stiles Stilinski

• My Hero Academia

Bakugou Katsuki

Jealous! Reader

Break Up Make up

Dabi

Protective! Tsundere! Dabi

#venus masterlist #babey venus #tasm peter #x black reader #derek hale #teen wolf derek hale #twau bigby #bigby wolf #chris resident evil #resident evil chris #bigby twau #marvel #black panther #t'challa #iron man #tony stark #plus size reader #plus size representation #black girl #black reader #black writers #persona 5 ryuji #tlou joel #tlou ellie #tlou part 2 #the last of us #the last of us 2 #bnha #resident evil village #imagines

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

This is pretty much a continuation of this post. The post that documents my enjoyment of the Andy Zaltzman/Nish Kumar/Hari Kondabolu combination. The original lineup of the revamped Bugle – in its early days it only had one guest per episode, and Hari was on the first episode, and Nish on the second. This made it interesting to listen to those two episodes in a row. Hari’s episode: jarring, rough, hard to handle after I’d just listened to the entire John Oliver/Andy Zaltzman run where they clicked perfectly, and now instead of John we have this Hari guy, who does not appear to know what show he’s on and could not possibly have less chemistry with Andy. Then the next episode somewhat assuaged my fears, as Nish opened his episode by referencing a long-running Bugle joke (“Hello Buglers and fuck you Chris”), and immediately jumped in with his strong rapport with Andy that he’d built over doing live gigs with him for several years (not in a double act way like John and Andy or anything, they’d just been on the same bills together a lot.

Now, The Bugle does two guests per episode, and every time we get these two together it’s a treat. Which means there was a fucking excellent episode of The Bugle the other day. One of their best in a while. It had that golden lineup – obviously Nish and Hari are both funny individually, but they also work well with each other. Partly because they’re friends and know how to play off each other’s styles really well, but more than that, they make a fun contrast. Nish as the longtime Bugle nerd (arguably, when John Oliver left The Bugle in 2016, Nish Kumar was pretty much waiting in the wings ready to steal his life, by which I mean his regular Bugle spot and his position in Daniel Kitson’s “here’s a stupid thing my friend did” stories) who would probably die for Andy Zaltzman. Hari as the outsider American for whom it’s a running joke that he has never listened to The Bugle and never will; and regards Andy Zaltzman, The Bugle, Bugle listeners, and all of Britain, with a sort of amused, only very affectionate bafflement.

In this episode, we got several running jokes, including Hari bringing back “how dare you ask me that?” as his answer to the initial “how are you?”, which I think he hadn’t done in a while. And some callbacks to original-run Bugle episodes.

Andy Zaltzman: The first of November, 1512, truly a momentus day. The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel was exhibited to the public for the first time. Michaelangelo’s famous piece of DIY. Reactions and reviews on social media at the time – well, it’s fair to say were mixed as reactions on social media tend to be. They included “more cocks and balls than I was expecting from the ceiling”. Another person wrote “I’ve heard it’s good but I haven’t seen it yet”. Classic social media reaction. Someone else wrote “absolute rubbish, the way they used to do ceilings was way better”. Again, these things just don’t change through time. Another comment was “Why do modern artists insist on painting people how they actually look these days? What’s wrong with painting simplified, stylized versions of the human form? Pretentious, elitist, and above all woke. One star.” Again, just classic from social media. Another person wrote “I’m going to fucking kill you, Michaelangelo, you fucking fuck.” Some things never change. And another response was “Do you like betting? If you’d like the best odds on how many people will die in the next cholera outbreak in Rome, click here.” So we’d like to think that civilization progresses, but maybe it doesn’t. As a special treat, a bonus extra at the end of today’s show, we will play you the full story of how Michaelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel, how he replied with an emphatic "Vat I can" to Julius the Second’s question “Can you paint that ceiling, bud?” As revealed, exclusively, way back in issue 34 of The Bugle. A bonus blast from the past. Nish Kumar: Is that Mickey Paintbrush, by any chance? Andy Zaltzman: it is, yes. Issue 34, it was quite early on. Nish Kumar: That takes me back to listening to The Bugle in the toilet at one of my temp jobs.

Followed fairly soon after by:

Nish Kumar: “That Jesus Incident” was the working title of The New Testament, wasn’t it? Andy Zaltzman: I thought it was twelve fucks, one cunt. Nish Kumar: I’m back in the toilet! Andy Zaltzman: That is a long callback.

Note: this is a reference to Bugle episode 127, from September 2010.

Andy Zaltzman: It’s been awfully sweary The Bugle recently. I don’t know why that is. [Producer] Chris, any suggestions? Chris Skinner: Maybe you just need to listen to the words of the Pope. Andy Zaltzman: What did he say? “Don’t fucking swear?” Chris Skinner: Right, that’s now 12 “fucks” and 1 “cunt” today. Actually now I’ve said that that’s 13 -2. Andy Zaltzman: 12 fucks, 1 cunt. That’s pretty much the Jewish attitude to the new testament, isn’t it?

Well I'm at this, here's what the "Mickey Paintbrush" reference meant, from episode 34, in June 2008:

Andy Zaltzman: Bugle feature section now! And 500 years ago this year, Michelangelo, or as he was known by his friends, Mickey Paintbrush, was commissioned to do a little bit of decorating for the Pope. He got his nickname, of course, not because of his artistic skills, but because he had tough, bristly straight hair, which, when he was drunk he would dip in a vat of paint, and headbutt cartoon testicles into the sides of churches. Anyway, the story goes that Julius the Second asked Mickey Paintbrush, “Can you whack a lick of paint on the ceiling in my chapel? It could do with a bit of sprucing up.” “Sure, Papa J,” replied Michaelangelo. “What do you want? How about a bit of a fresco?” “Uh, sure, why not?” replied the pontiff. “Great!” yipped the young artist. “I was thinking of doing something with some dogs playing snooker.” “Uh, right, Mickey P,” said the Pope, awkwardly. “It’s just, uh, I was just kind of hoping for something a little bit more, kind of neutral. Maybe just, you know, some plain off white Magnolia colour. You know, Mick, something that isn’t going to go out of date.” “Right-o, Skipper,” replied Michaelangelo, a little downcast. “Hey, do you mind if I do a couple of little bits from The Bible in the corner?” “Oh, all right,” conceded the Pope. “But just, nothing too flashionable, Mickey.” “Yay!” yelped the 33-year-old 5-time winner of the Golden Chisel Award for Terrific Sculpture. “I’ll go and get my special scaffold.” Four years later, an angry pope banged on the door of the Sistine Chapel with his big staff. “Have you finished yet, Paintbrush?” he shouted. “Yep, all done, Big Man.” The pontiff stormed in, hat akimbo. “What the fuck have you done to my ceiling, you flash fuck?” “Sorry, Pop,” said the artist. “I just got a bit carried away.” “Oh, balls!” winced the Vatican Vicar. “Bloody hell, Mickey! What is your obsession with naked cocks? Shit, I’ve got a Christening to do in twenty minutes, this is going to have to do.” “Okay, boss. Sorry, boss,” mumbled the four-in-one painter, sculptor, architect, and chicken impersonator. “You haven’t heard the last of this!” blasted the Catholic kahuna. “Give me that paintbrush! That’s confiscated!" Pope Julius turned to go to his dressing room. Just then, something on the ceiling caught his eye. “Hang on, that looks like… no, it can’t be. Is that my wang? Mickey Paintbrush, have you painted my papal prong on that nudie man? Come here! Come here, you little… oh, no, he’s got away. I knew I should have got Da Vinci to do this. I knew it.” So, to commemorate half a millennium since this historic moment in the history of history, we present to you: The Bugle Italian section. John Oliver: …Andy, that to become a regular feature. Historical Storytime. Misinform your children with Andy Zaltzman.

So that was the opening, to this episode, already full of Nish and Andy doing callbacks at each other while Hari mentions again that not only was he not listening to the original John/Andy Bugle in toilets in 2013, but he doesn't listen to it today, or understand what anyone involved with it is doing.

They brought back discussions of The Bugle in general throughout the episode. There were multiple instances of Nish Kumar taking on the voice of all listening Bugle nerds by admiringly referring to something as "classic" or "vintage" Zaltzman. ie:

Andy Zaltzman: Huge celebrations across the country to commemerate one year of Rishi Sunak as Prime Minister. I'll just go through all the achievements of the little fella since he took over as Interm Prime Minister in the after-shite of Boris Johnson and Liz Truss. [two second pause] How would you assess his first year? A year in which he's basically captured voters' imagination like a baby penguin captures a polar bear in a pair of fishnet stockings. In other words, not at all, and he's gone about it in quite a weird and unsettling way."

Nish is right to call that vintage Zaltzman! I hate saying this because I don’t blame him at all for it, but to be honest, there was a while in the second half of 2022/early 2023 when it sounded like Andy was struggling a bit for material. He was repeating a lot of stuff (not that he never repeats stuff normally, but not as much as this), and some of his new stuff felt fairly by the numbers.

Like I said, I don’t blame him, because he’s been doing this forever. The Bugle has been running since October 2007, with the occasional week off, sometimes a month off in the summertime, about a year off in mid-2015 to mid-2016 when John Oliver split like an unreliable father, but mainly, it’s been running almost every week for years and years. And The Bugle isn’t like some podcasts where the guests and the host can just turn up and make shit up as they go along, or trade stock questions and stock answers. They have to write material beforehand and be ready to present. Andy shows up to every single episode with at least three or four completely new monologues on various topics, and a bunch of other prepared lines. It is fucking impressive, the rate at which he turns over material. He’s allowed to have an off month, or six. It wasn’t even that bad, just a little less inventive than usual. Also, we got a very reasonable explanation for why when he announced in early 2023 that his father had just died, so he maybe had a few other things on his mind besides writing new absurd similes every week (RIP Zack Zaltzman, I’ve always enjoyed Andy’s stories about how he could become a comedian because his dad was a sculptor and therefore had no grounds to tell his son to get a real job).

Anyway, the point is that Andy Zaltzman is back. He’s been on fire for the last few months, writing his usual inventive stories and lines every week (minus the month off the took in the summer where he didn’t write about anything but cricket), and they’ve been great. He had a few really good ones in this latest episode, and I liked hearing Nish acknowledge that. While Hari, of course, couldn’t give a shit.

All cumulating in this exchange from the end of a long discussion between Andy and Nish – where Hari notably shut up for an extended period – about the British political situation:

Hari Kondabolu: You guys are talking about British politics so I tuned out a while ago. You guys talking about that Colin Firth movie, is that what we’re talking about? That’s a while ago, fellas. Andy Zaltzman: Sunak did say that his government has achieved a lot in its first year. And I can cut him a bit of slack for that, because, I mean, what could he have said? I mean, he can’t come out and say, “My government has done very slightly less shit-ly.” He couldn’t have said, “Well we’ve achieved nothing, which is, to be fair, a vast improvement on my two immediate predecessors.” I mean, it’s clearly a tough gig for him, taking over, and I don’t think he’s played it very well. It’s like being a door-to-door hairdresser for a struggling door-to-door hairdressing business, but then turning up with one pair of scissors sticking out of your forehead, and then another rammed into your ear, blood running down your face, and a squirrel’s tail gaffer taped to your scalp, knocking on someone’s door, saying, “Can I interest you in a haircut?” It’s a tough sell. It’s like being a snooker player, tucked in behind the green, needing a three-cushion escape shot to hit the last red, fifty points down in the frame, so needing snookers anyway. He chalks the cue, he takes a deep breath. He reaches into his waistcoat pocket, he pulls out an iguana, plonks it on the table, and says, “Run, my pretty. Run.” That is, essentially, the situation that our Prime Minister has been in. Nish Kumar: That is the essence of Andy Zaltzman. Given that there is a substantial listenership to this podcast from outside the United Kingdom, and yet, when we move on to the section about specifics on United Kingdom politics, instead of trying to open it out, he doubles down, and tries to explain things with a snooker metaphor. [my brain is requiring me to add an editor’s note here – he means “simile”] Andy Zaltzman: I like to think of it as educational, Nish. Hari Kondabolu: I mean, to be honest, a bunch of our listeners are Anglophiles. They love this shit. It gives them like a secret wisdom, it makes them feel better than other people. I’ve met these people after shows, I know what they’re about. They like puns, Nish, they like puns.

...

...

...

...Go fuck yourself, Hari. You don't know me. How very dare you? I have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

I definitely didn’t love the idea that, when talking politics to my friends in 2009, I could reference British Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling, making me sound cultured and worldly while my friends only knew the Canadian and American politicians. Of course, I only knew about Alistair Darling because I listened to The News Quiz every Friday, a thing I did not because I was cultured or worldly, but because I was in love with Sandi Toksvig.

You will also notice that I tell this story about how I was (definitely not) like this as a teenager, because I think that sounds more acceptable than admitting I’m exactly the same now. The person I’m obsessed with enough to bring me to The News Quiz is now Andy Zaltzman, but not much else has changed.

So, there was more to this episode than just people replaying established patterns in amusing ways. Throughout the episode, all three people had a bunch of good material that walked a really, really difficult line of trying to write topical comedy when the top story in the news is related to ongoing genocide. I think they did it well, acknowledging that there are some parts of it that shouldn’t be trivialized with comedy but it’s still worth trying to pick it apart and point out the absurdities of the rhetoric. They did it as well as anyone could, I think. But I have chosen to ignore all that and write a multi-page post about how much I enjoy the recurring patterns in comedians' attitudes toward The Bugle and each other.

It's a good thing they have going. Never change, Andy. For the love of God, please never change.

[park-jimin-isnt-real]

OKAY IT'S SKZ TIME JAY!!!!

I love them so much. You've got Bang Chan and his seven insane children.

Bang Chan/Chris Bang: leader. Born in Seoul but raised in Sydney, Australia. In skz itself, he's a vocalist and composer/producer, but he's also part of 3racha, a rap/production team he was in predebut with Changbin and Jisung. Songs for Chan...god, he's amazing in all of them. I can't pick one. Lol.

Lee Know (Lee Minho): Dance leader. Pretends he has zero heart but actually is all heart. Devoted cat dad to his babies soonie, doongie, and dori. Lino actually used to be a backup dancer for BTS during Fire era! Case 143 is their newest title track and he's got some really beautiful parts in it.

Changbin (Seo Changbin): the definition of "looks like he could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll." Man is buff as hell and basically lives at the gym, but he's a squishy little aegyo king. He was called the "dark rapper" but idk man. He's the cutest little bean. He's also in 3racha. His song Streetlight is really underrated but gives you a really good sense of his skills.

Hyunjin (Hwang Hyunjin): a dancer and rapper, Hyunjin's dance style reminds me a lot of Jimin. Check out his Play With Fire dance cover, it's amazing. Hyunjin is possibly the most dramatic little shit on the planet, but we wouldn't have him any other way. He's also an incredible painter.

Han (Han Jisung): Han was born in Korea but spent a lot of time in Malaysia as a kid, and his English is excellent. He's a brilliant writer and does a lot of the lyrical work with 3racha. Wish You Back is an incredible song he did that's said to be based off the anime You Name. He's been open about his mental health struggles and had to take some time off in 2019 due to severe social anxiety, but he's doing a lot better these days. He's an introvert and a nerd and I love him.

Felix (Felix Lee/Lee Yongbok): Our sunshine! Felix is also Australian, born and raised in Sydney to Korean parents. He's very sweet and sensitive (usually the first to cry during ending ments 🥺) and his voice WILL throw you for a loop. It doesn't match his face at all. 😂 If you watch God's Menu, you'll know what I mean. A rapper and our resident tiktok king, Lix is always trying to cheer up Stay.

Seungmin (Kim Seungmin): You want sass? Seungmin has the sass for you. He loves the guys, but if there's an opening to roast, he'll be the first one to jump in - especially Chan. 😂😂😂 Seungmin is the lead vocalist and has the voice of an angel - watch the cover of Love Song by IU that he did on Kingdom with BtoB's Eunkwang and ateez's Jongho!

I.n (Yang Jeongin): our maknae, our baby, the love of everyone's life. Innie has maknae privilege oozing out of every pore in his body and he makes full use of it. He's probably the least outwardly affectionate of the guys and is constantly trying to fight off their attempts at skinship - especially Han and Felix. He really does love them though. For a good giggle, watch his song Maknae on Top that he did with Chan and Changbin.

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2HLJ87twWI2G7OkCCQfOI6Dr-02JBbMN

This playlist is for Song Camp: Howl in Harmony, which is a 6-episode miniseries skz did where they worked on their unit songs for their Noeasy album. You can see a lot of their interactions here which is nice. For incredible group performances, I recommend their cover of Pray (I'll Be Your Man) from Kingdom as well as their song Wolfgang. The Kingdom performance of that is incredible, but I recommend watching another one as well or instead as Hyunjin couldn't participate in Kingdom and having him missing really does suck.

Okay novel over but seriously I will yell about these men anytime 😅

😬 oh no

imma bout to feel real bad making them not good guys in eot 😬😬😬

OH MY GOD THEYRE ADORABLE

So many of them have such squishy cheeks oh my word I wanna squishhhhh

Felix is the one with the super deep voice right? At the beginning of Maniac?

Upon initial impressions I think Lino is the cutest, but that may change over time and as I see them perform and with different hairstyles and colors

THIS IS AMAZING BABE THANK YOU SO MUCH 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

#asks #answered #my journey into becoming a stray kids stan #what're yall called? #strays? #stays? #idk pls educate me 🙃 #starlostjimin #jay screams into the void

[hatchetnewsarc]

hold on i'm high and you don't understand how much i love chris freaking kringle. i'm trying to be really normal about this nerd but i can't be. one of my dickwad (affectionate) friends said he has the tro.y bolton thing going on, but now i'm overthinking it because like it's the post-i'm-gonna-be-in-the-musical troy where he's just glowing with energy for enjoying two things he loves while smoochin on some pretty beau-thing. and i'm :')

because i put too much into chris to not love him as much as i do. i added him as a JOKE in a server and now i can't get over this one fucking fucker. he's so high energy and just always :) because even though he's not santa (sorry, but he's not real. smh), he still embodies the "spirit of christmas" which is a gushy gush way of saying he prefers finding happiness in giving of any kind of affection or gifts. he doesn't care for taking or receiving anything, but he shows appreciation nonetheless. he lost his mom when he was little and has always done his best to live in whatever moment he can to appreciate it at its fullest. it's why he loves with all his heart and proudly wears it on his sleeve.

so now im just :') over chris fucking kringle like some dickhead.

#character • chris kringle #meta • chris kringle #anyways back to being high and talking about how he FUCKS--

[buddienights]

Part twelve of the TA grindr au

This part is rated very much E under the cut. Like, I cannot emphasise enough. The only thing under the cut is sex. If that isn’t your thing, please do not read it.

Happy December have some dirty fuckin’ I guess

Eddie does not understand his cat. She usually hides from guests, only hanging out in the common spaces of their apartment when it’s just him and Christopher around to boss about. But instead of running to go hide under Chris’s bed as soon as Buck and Eddie step inside, she barely opens an eye and maybe flicks her tail where she’s lying on the back of the sofa.

“Uh, so this is Hecate,” Eddie says, locking the door and toeing off his shoes.

Buck smiles down at her, lightly petting the top of her head. Hecate goes nowhere, but she does start purring.

“Nerd,” Buck says with an affectionate tease to his voice.

“Would you believe me if I said Christopher named her?” Eddie asks, edging past him to the kitchen. Not that they’re separate rooms in his shitty little apartment but he’s done his best.

“Nope,” Buck replies.

“That’s fair,” Eddie says, rummaging in the fridge for a couple beers. He extends one to Buck, who takes it.

After a moment, Buck kicks off his own shoes to land in a messy pile beside Eddie’s, and sits down on the couch. Hecate oozes off the back cushion and onto Buck’s thigh and Eddie is briefly envious of his own damn cat. She drapes there like a crescent and Buck absently scratches through the fur on her ribs while Eddie tries not to get distracted by the motion of his fingers.

He takes a seat on the other end of the couch with his own beer and tries to keep the thirsty staring to a minimum. It would be too much of a losing battle to try not to stare at all.

“So, how’d you get hooked on classics?” Buck asks, pressing the edge of the beer bottle to his lips suggestively for a second before he takes a sip and Eddie almost pounces on him.

“Oh, uh,” he says when he’s actually processed that Buck’s asked him a question he wants an answer to. “Yeah, I’m not answering that without a few more of these.”

Buck laughs when Eddie takes a pointed sip of his own beer.

“What if I don’t want to get you drunk, though?” Buck asks.

Eddie swallows. “I’m afraid those are your options. Either get me drunk to get the story, or—”

Buck gently sets his bottle down on Eddie’s coffee table. “Or?” he prompts.

Eddie’s mouth is unaccountably dry.

"Or, I guess, figure out where the night goes when I'm sober," Eddie says finally.

"I don't think it's night yet," Buck says, picking his bottle back up to sip distractingly at it.

Eddie's gaze catches on his mouth, and when he catches Eddie staring, Buck's full, pink lips quirk upwards in a smirk.

"You know what I mean," Eddie mumbles, tearing his eyes away and fixing on his beer instead.

Buck sets his bottle down on the table again, and says, "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

Eddie tracks his hand when Buck reaches for Eddie's beer bottle, and follows it all the way down to the coffee table until until it comes back up to cup his jaw.

"Please tell me if this is okay," Buck murmurs, his thumb stroking maddening and intoxicating patterns along the hinge of Eddie's jaw below his ear.

"Very," Eddie breathes, and then Buck is kissing him.

Eddie hasn't had a lot of first kisses in his life. Maybe a half dozen if he's being generous. But Buck presses a quick peck to his lips, lingering just long enough for their lips to stick together when they part, just long enough for it to tug and pull when he leans a fraction back.

And when Eddie chases his mouth, leans delightedly into Buck's space to kiss him again, and properly, it's made just that little bit more difficult because Buck is grinning into the kiss.

"You've — you've gotta stop smiling," Eddie murmurs into his mouth, doing his best to trace Buck's tongue with his own.

"Sorry," Buck mumbles, clearly unapologetic. "I just — I really like you."

And then it's Eddie's smiling that's the problem while Buck sucks on his tongue for a second and then presses a quick, sloppy, open-mouthed kiss to his chin and then along his jaw until he reaches the junction of Eddie's neck, jaw, and ear and pulls the tender flesh there into his mouth. Eddie grasps at the back of his neck, scratching his fingers through the short hairs at his nape, while Buck places a hickey there, and then follows it down with equally wet and messy kisses to Eddie's collarbone, and down to the open vee of his henley.

Eddie fixes his hand in Buck's hair, delighting in the softness of the curls between his fingers and the burning hot sensation of Buck's tongue on his chest. It makes it hard to breathe until he tugs Buck upwards, back to fix on his mouth. He's not really aware of crossing the couch to close the space between them until his cat thrums in displeasure at being displaced.

Eddie laughs into Buck's kiss, and fixes his hand under Hecate's ribs to lift her up off of Buck's thigh — preferably so Eddie can be there instead — and when he places her up on the back of the couch cushion, she gives him the worst look.

"I think your cat's gonna fight one of us," Buck mumbles, tugging Eddie's bottom lip between his teeth.

"She can deal with it," Eddie replies, and presses himself more insistently into Buck. The way they're arranged on the couch, he can't satisfactorily get into Buck's lap, which is where he really wants to be. There just isn't space.

Eddie keeps one hand fixed in Buck's hair and slides the other under his sweater to grip his waist, delighting in Buck's small squeaks and moans at the contact, and then stands up off the couch. Buck leans towards him as he goes, and eventually gets the picture. He stands as well, wrapping an arm around Eddie's waist and crushing them together. Buck is taller than him, but not by so much Eddie has to strain to keep kissing him.

Eddie likes kissing Buck. He likes it a stupid amount, honestly. He'd be happy to do just this for the rest of time.

He contents himself by sliding the hand that's already under his shirt up, and over the long, supple muscles of his back until he has a firm grip to steer Buck with him, down the short, insignificant hallway of his small apartment, and to his bedroom. The door has clicked shut behind them before they break apart.

"I, uh," Eddie says, resting his forehead against Buck's chin and letting the hand that was previously in his hair trail over the chest muscles that are delightful even beneath the sweater he's wearing. It's the perfect shade of grey to make his eyes pop. "I don't know how to do one-night stands."

"Thank god," Buck replies, his lips brushing Eddie's forehead. "Because I've never really done anything else and that's really, really not what I want here."

"It's not what I want either," Eddie says. He feathers kisses along Buck's jaw, dragging the slightly scratchy skin between his teeth and revelling in the scrape.

Buck shivers a little when Eddie's second hand reaches the hem of his sweater and tugs it upwards. Buck has neglected an undershirt, which is explicable as equal parts "socal is too warm" and "why, I'm gonna take it off anyway" and so as soon as Eddie pulls the grey knit over his head, he's treated to the expanse of Buck's chest.

And fuck, what a chest it is.

He backs Buck towards his bed until the edge of the mattress takes him out at the knees and is more than happy to straddle him on the edge of the bed while he makes his way down the side of Buck's throat and across his collarbones, and over the ink on his peck. He's got Buck's nipple in his mouth when he fully acknowledges that Buck is pulling his flannel off and making designs on his henley.

"Eddie — Eddie, please, I've gotta—” Buck murmurs, and Eddie leans back in confusion for long enough that Buck can pull his shirt off.

Eddie tries to go back to what he was doing, but Buck has other ideas. He scoots backwards onto the bed, just far enough that Eddie has to follow or risk disconnection. And then he returns the favour, mouthing along Eddie's neck and down over his chest, until he gets to the freckle a slight measure under Eddie's right nipple.

"It — it wasn't your cat," Buck mumbles between sucking a hickey over the mark. "It was this freckle."

Eddie whimpers at the graze of Bucks' teeth over his skin, and bites down hard over his bottom lip as Buck's tongue follows his teeth.

"Buck, I'm—" Eddie says, unable to stop to slight rocking motion of his hips against Buck's stomach.

"Mm," Buck replies, sliding a hand into Eddie's hair and pulling him into a kiss. With the other hand, he reaches for the button on Eddie's jeans and even that slight proximity makes Eddie's breath stutter in Buck's mouth. "How do you want me?"

Eddie has just enough presence of mind left to register the phrasing. Passive, like Buck's secondary to what his partner wants. Like he's a phenomenal lover but a broken person.

"What do you want?" he asks, kissing at the corner of Buck's eye. There aren't smile lines there yet, but they'll be there soon and considering the way Buck smiles with his whole face, they'll be glorious. He kisses along Buck's cheek bone, and over the very edge of his nose and down to his mouth.

Buck pauses in the act of slipping his hand under the waistband of Eddie's boxer briefs.

"What?" he asks, his breath hot where it brushes against Eddie's tongue. Eddie could spend the rest of his life tasting Buck's breathing.

"What do you want?" Eddie reiterates. He can't really see Buck's face, he's too close, but he senses Buck furrowing his brow. "I mean, I'm only experienced enough to know I want this, but you have preferences. So what's your preference?"

"I'm..." Buck trails off, a little like no one's ever asked him before and he just honestly has no clue how to answer. "Maybe we should get naked first?"

Eddie can't help it when he laughs, but he stands up and pulls his unbuttoned jeans and his briefs down in one stroke. Buck follows the motion with darkened eyes, his gaze lingering between Eddie's legs for a second, and then he stands and drops his own jeans.

Eddie hadn't known prior to this moment that it was possible for his mouth to go dry and water at the same time, but it does. Because Buck's dick, hard and bobbing up over his lower abs, is...

Well, Eddie gets the "Firehose" moniker now, that's for sure.

Distantly he's aware that he's staring, but the staring is the best compromise he can make with the rest of his reflexes, which just want him to throw himself onto his knees and get that into his mouth. He's pretty sure he'd choke if he tried to breathe, and he's exceptionally okay with that.

"Uh," Eddie says when he realises he's just been staring for way, way too long. "Was I saying something?"

"No, you were sort of just drooling," Buck replies, a light tease in his voice. "Do you have more thoughts about how you want to..."

Eddie almost says, I want that inside me and I don't really care where, but remembers the passive way Buck had asked earlier.

"I'm—" Eddie pauses to swallow and tear his eyes away from Buck, to grab the condoms and the lube out of his bedside table. "I'm following your lead."

Buck nods slowly, his hands trailing lightly down Eddie's chest and along the sides of his ribs and it doesn't quite tickle but it's a soft enough touch as to be maddening. He catches the heels of his hands on Eddie's hips and nudges him back towards the bed.

"So, if what I wanted," Buck says, ghosting small kisses along Eddie's jaw and up to his ear, pulling his earlobe gently between his teeth, "was to take you in my mouth—" Eddie's breath hitches as Buck revisits the hickey he'd left on his neck earlier, tracing it with his tongue, "—and open you up with my fingers—" he strokes his thumbs along the vee of Eddie's hips and Eddie's never come just from having someone tell him what they wanted to do to him, but there's a first time for everything, "—so you could ride me, that'd work for you?"

He digs his fingers into the muscle of Eddie's ass as he says it, nipping at his throat again, and the sound Eddie makes was supposed to be an "oh my god yes please" but it mostly gets lost in translation, enough to make Buck respond with a warm, rumbling laugh that nearly shakes the condoms and lube out of Eddie's hands. When did he rest those against Buck's chest? He's losing track.

He loses track some more when he discovers he’s lying on his bed, propped up against the pillows and the headboard. Buck kisses down his chest with an open mouth, pausing over a nipple, over the divot of Eddie’s sternum, to suck a hickey over the freckle on his ribs. Eddie can’t quite track the encouraging nonsense coming out of his own mouth while Buck makes his way lower, lightly grazing his teeth across Eddie’s abs and briefly dipping his tongue into Eddie’s navel.

Which Eddie had been unaware was an erogenous spot until just this second.

And which would be so much easier to handle if Buck hovering there didn’t mean the head of Eddie’s cock was brushing eagerly against Buck’s collarbone. Eddie exhales like he’s been punched in the gut when Buck finally puts a hand on him and then just leaves it there with a few leisurely, achingly slow strokes while he keeps kissing along to the crook of Eddie’s hip and down to the inside of his thigh.

“Buck, Buck please,” Eddie says.

Buck looks up at him from the hickey he’s working into the sensitive skin of Eddie’s thigh, all innocent big blue eyes.

“Please…?” he prompts, pink tongue darting out to trace the pulse in Eddie’s leg again.

“Please all of the things you said,” Eddie replies. He sounds wrecked already and Buck’s hardly touched him.

Buck pulls his mouth away from Eddie’s leg and reaches for the strip of foil wrappers, opening one and rolling it over Eddie with much better coordination than Eddie would’ve been able to handle just then. He follows that with another open mouthed kiss to the underside of the crown, and Eddie can barely draw breath. It only gets more overwhelming when he sucks the head into the exquisite heat of his mouth and it’s been long enough that Eddie’s pretty sure if it weren’t for the minor sensation dampening the layer of latex provides, he’d have come with the first long, slow slide against the inside of Buck’s cheek.

He’d never used to have a hair trigger, but almost five years with just himself for company will have that effect.

He’s so lost in the sensation of Buck’s mouth enveloping him that he doesn’t register the click of the bottle and what it means until Buck hitches one of Eddie’s legs over his shoulder for better access and brushed a slick finger against him.

At Eddie’s sharp exhale, Buck pulls off him with a wet pop.

“Is this still okay?” he asks, still gently stroking his finger over Eddie.

“Yes,” Eddie says. “Fuck, yes, yes—”

Buck laughs and then swallows him back down at the same time he presses the slick finger inside him. Eddie’s caught between the impossible choice of grinding his hips down onto Buck’s hand, or pressing upwards into his mouth, and ends up caught between, scarcely able to breathe.

When sound returns to him, all he can say is Buck’s name over and over until Buck obligingly slides another finger into him. Buck crooks them, stroking against his prostate for just a second, and Eddie’s eyes almost roll back in pleasure. He has to grab Buck’s hair, gently tug him off then.

Buck’s hazy and a little confused, lips extra pink and slick with spit and Eddie has to just keep tugging him up until he’s within kissing range. When Eddie’s leg slips away from his shoulder, it’s easier to hook it around his hips and pull him in closer.

“I was gonna come like that,” Eddie explains between messy kisses, already interrupted by his own ragged breathing as Buck’s fingers continue to work inside him. Not that pressed between Buck’s mouth and his fingers would be the worst.

“Oh no, the horror,” Buck replies, mouthing along Eddie’s chin for a second and then pulling Eddie’s bottom lip between his own to suck on. Buck’s gotta have some kind of oral fixation, Eddie decides.

He’s thrilled to be the main — only — beneficiary.

He laughs, breathless, against Buck’s mouth. “Yeah, yeah, but I want to come with you inside me.”

Buck groans and the next Eddie knows, his fingers are sliding out of him and Buck’s rolling them over so Eddie’s straddling his thighs. He feels unpleasantly empty while Buck grapples with the condom, fingers too slick to get a good grip. Eddie’s hands are trembling a little with lust and desire but he does better than Buck.

Rolling the condom on is the first he gets his hands on Buck, and fuck but it’s a nice hand feel. Heavy and hot and thick and it feels great to the touch as Eddie runs his hand down the length. And Buck might be the one with the oral fixation but Eddie’s pretty sure the head would fit beautifully between his lips.

He only has a second to lean in and test the theory, only just gets the flat of his tongue pressed into the underside, when Buck whines out his name and urgently pressed the lube in his direction. He’s just as far gone as Eddie is, even though the majority of their time has been spent with Buck fixated on Eddie’s pleasure.

A quandary for another time.

Eddie slicks him up and watches Buck’s eyes while they darken, the blue swallowed up with fully blown pupils while he follows Eddie’s hand. When he’s ready, Eddie has the passing thought he’s going to have to remake the bed while he dries his hand on the sheet, and then Buck is cupping his ass and holding him open and Eddie doesn’t have space for other thoughts.

They both groan when Buck’s head nudges against him, and Eddie’s mouth falls open when it slides into him.

“Just — just take your time and don’t — don’t try for too much all at once,” Buck pants out while Eddie slowly sinks onto him.

“I’ve used—” Eddie starts but breaks off as the head of Buck’s cock rubs across his prostate. He almost loses control of his legs, almost just sits down flush against him, catches himself with a firm hand against Buck’s chest. Buck’s pulse races beneath his palm and there’s a slight sheen of sweat from the heat they’ve been building between them.

He doesn’t really need to finish his explanation, because Buck nods in understanding. Eddie doesn’t take his hand off Buck’s chest, just slides it up to his shoulder. It’s a good grip.

When he’s flush against Buck’s hips, they both have to take a minute just to breathe and adjust. Even leaning forward to kiss him makes the stationary change in angle that much more and Eddie’s so damn full he’s pretty sure he can feel Buck in the back of his throat.

After a moment, he grinds his hips and Buck chokes on a moan. They just do that for a few heartbeats, and then Eddie raises himself up and sinks back down. He does as Buck recommended and takes it slow, enjoying the insistent drag of Buck over his prostate and the burn in his thighs and the the way Buck can hardly keep his eyes open.

Eddie leans down to kiss him and for a second, Buck just hums happily into his mouth. And then he wraps his hands around Eddie’s thighs to hold him in place, plants his feet, and starts fucking him in earnest.

Eddie’s experimented, he’s used some stupidly expensive toys he probably shouldn’t have splurged on, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the sensation of Buck thrusting into him. It’s intoxicating and on the edge of addicting, and he has to give himself a mouthful of the supple muscles of Buck’s chest to dampen the moans. When he starts moving to meet Buck’s thrusts, Buck trails a hand up his back and buries it in Eddie’s hair, the slight tug sending sparks down his neck and right down his spine. Buck’s other hand slides around Eddie’s thigh to wrap around him.

It only takes a few strokes before Eddie’s coming with a muffled oath against Buck’s skin. When Eddie clenches around him, Buck tenses. His hand tightens in Eddie’s hair, sending another wave of sparks down his spine, and then he has to curve and bury his face in Eddie’s neck to dampen the shout as he comes.

Eddie’s a little hazy in the post-orgasm comedown but he has the lazy, passing thought that Buck would be loud if they weren’t in an apartment with thin walls and grumpy neighbours, and someday, he wants to hear it.

It takes a moment for him to unlatch his mouth from the hickey he’s just bitten into Buck’s pec, and he has the absurd urge to try and kiss it better. When he does, Buck giggles.

“Sorry, tickles,” he murmurs.

“Oops,” Eddie replies, and does it again. He gets a full, belly laugh which presses against him in response. Eddie grins. “Do you want me to move?”

Buck shakes his head, tightening an arm around Eddie’s waist to squish him down flat. For just a second, Eddie hesitates to rest his full weight on Buck, but Buck squishes him more insistently and Eddie lets himself go limp. Buck’s still inside him, and they’re both sticky with sweat, and they’ll have to change the sheets and shower here in a minute. But for the moment, Eddie is extremely content to lie here.

“You’re staying the night,” Eddie says. He means to make it a question, an offer or a request, but it simply doesn’t work.

“Is that what people do when it isn’t a one-night-stand?” Buck asks. His fingers are tracing distracting soft patterns along Eddie’s back.

“Yeah,” Eddie says. He’s got to move soon or he’s gonna fall asleep like this, the side of his face stuck to Buck’s chest. “Take showers together, too.”

“Huh,” Buck says like this is a fascinating novelty. “Sounds slippery.”

“You’re slippery,” Eddie mumbles, nonsensical, and Buck laughs.

They manage a little while later to unstick themselves and separate long enough to wedge themselves together into Eddie’s small shower. After, Buck helps him remake the bed.

“Nap, and then maybe we can order dinner?” Eddie suggests, climbing into bed and doing his best not to pass out immediately.

“Yeah,” Buck says, sliding under the blankets beside Eddie. “I’d offer to make something but I’m afraid all I can make is breakfast foods.”

Eddie smiles and snuggles into his side, pillowing his head on Buck’s shoulder and entangling a leg between his. Buck makes a pleased humming sound and wraps an arm around Eddie’s shoulders, holding him close.

“Breakfast sounds good too,” Eddie murmurs.

It’s strange to think it, living in Los Angeles, but this first night with Buck is the first night Eddie’s bed has felt warm enough.

#ta grindr au #buddienights writes #buddie fic #911fic #buddie #I….can’t believe I wrote this #if you see any typos no you don't <3 #nsft #rated e #this is smut

[cozydoe]

inspired by this iconic post by @inahallucination, i would like to present: the dead poets at build a bear workshop

the boys decided to take advantage of a day off from welton and go to the mall

todd and neil convince the boys to go to the bookstore

they end up scattered about

meeks and pitts end up in the science and technology section

cameron in the history section

neil and todd in the classics section comparing pretty editions of shakespeare plays

knox in the romance section (before he gets dragged out for being a weirdo)

charlie tells the other poets he’s not a nerd (affectionate) so he decides to roam around the mall and wait for the other poets

when todd and neil emerge from the bookstore, they notice charlie staring at the build a bear workshop across from them

“well if i didn’t know any better, i’d say mr. dalton has a childish side to him” neil says, nudging his friend jokingly to get his attention

“what can i say? i have a refined taste” he smirks and swings an arm around todd as he inspects the contents of his shopping bag with a nod of approval

once the rest of the poets are done at the bookstore, charlie informs them of the plan

by which i mean he shouts “gentlemen, let’s build some bears!”

(this totally scares the employee at the front of build a bear but the boys are so excited they hardly notice- except for todd who shyly says hello and apologizes as they walk in)

knox thinks about making a bear for chris and they all shout “NO!”

don’t worry, they buy him a pug plushie and dress it in pyjamas

cameron jokes that they’re not kids anymore but he ends up making a black bear plushie and dresses it in a tuxedo

meeks and pitts get a bunny and they dress it in a lab coat

charlie builds a brown bear and buys it several outfits because “god damn it, this is a serious responsibility”

(he names the bear nuwanda and takes it to every meeting)

todd is reluctant to build a bear at first until he sees a bear that reminds him of the colour of neil’s eyes

he dresses it in a flannel and pair of black pants

neil finds a blond-ish coloured bear and dresses it in a dark blue sweater and khakis

it’s not until weeks later that todd makes the connection and he’s not able to look at the bear on neil’s bed without blushing afterwards)

they attempt to record messages for their bears: the thoreau passage read aloud at each meeting, their version of welton’s four pillars

neil sheepishly asks todd if he can record a message for todd and todd agrees but “only if you let me record one for you too”

neil recites lines from midsummer nights dream: “so i, admiring of his qualities// things base and vile, holding no quantity. //love can transpose to form and dignity. //love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, // and therefore is winged cupid painted blind.”

todd, being ever the oblivious fool, thinks “aw how sweet!! neil must really enjoy running lines with me!!” when he hears the message for the first time

todd’s message to neil would be something along the lines of “hi neil!! just wanted to say you’re a great friend and i really l-like spending time with you. i hope you always chase after your dreams and we stay friends for a really long time. o-okay, bye.”

neil sobs the first time he hears the message

they all get in to ridiculous antics when it’s time to stuff the bears and make wishes

reciting poems, stomping their feet, squaredancing in the middle of the store, you name it

they all print out birth certificates for their bears and hang them up in the cave (and hold birthday parties for their stuffed animals every year afterwards)

once they’re done they all head out, carrying their new stuffed companions in boxes

they all agreed this was a fun day!!

also they probably take the plushies to keating’s class and he’s super confused but happy to have some new scholars in his class

anyways i’m gonna go build a bear now!! thanks for reading 🥰

#dead poets society #dead poets headcanons #neil perry #todd anderson #charlie dalton #steven meeks #gerard pitts #knox overstreet #richard cameron #anderperry #can this be considered that? i think so 👀 #this was so fun to write even tho it was ridiculously nerdy AHAHAHAHA #m.txt

[spring-picnics]

my close mutuals

#jet <3 - @ladyvesuvia

Only the most chaotic person I know and an extremely talented writer.

#shield agent - @thelast-greatwar

Know her irl. Coolest person alive. Might be a robot.

#​the steve to my robin <3 - @thehalfbloodedwitch

Just a super cool person to talk to.

#the nancy to my robin <3 - @miss-celestial-being

A literal sweetheart. She is like a warm pastry.

#mariposa <3 - @shespeaksinsongs

Used to have butterfly in her tag and ngl Fio is as beautiful as one.

#tori. light of my life- @scandalous-chaos

Excuse me, how are you so cool???

#misia like music to my ears - @spideyheart

How are you so beautiful??? Your theme, your name, your writing. You are perfection personified and I’m in love with you

#elastagirl vibes - @sxfik

Honestly you remind me so much of Elastagirl in a weird way bit I see you as that cool. Like you’re incredible. Also your fic is to die for. DIE FOR!!!

#bay <3 - @nevilleismywhore

Shut up, stop being funny.

#bay’s cool wife kylie - @imabee-oralizard

Shut up, stop being a funny person’s amazing wife.

#a swiftie <3 - @nevsluvr

Has great taste period.

#athena - @starksview

Best smaus ever. Everytime I imagine you as a person, I imagine a god.

#the hottest person I know - @tatums-rileys

Only the hottest person I know.

#the nat to my yelena - @natashxromanovf

Love at first sight of that theme.

#lovely lin - @gwlvr

Just an absolute icon.

#kate bishop <3 - @thatbisexualscorpio

I just relate to you so much for some reason???

#the robin to my Steve - @pappydaddy

A super cool person period.

#grace <3 - @gracesmusings

Somewhere in the world is an angel. That angel is her.

#vi. my inspo - @littlemissnoname13

An amazing writer, an amazing person.

#ava my girlfriend <3 - @desireav

My new girlfriend.

#​the jennifer to my needy - @tshluvr

Ivy is super cool and her writing is amazing. I’m in love with her <3

#my outstanding library date - @blackthunder137

I just want to read and be aesthetic with you one day <3

#dps nerd (affectionate) - @mendesxruel

You are so cool and it is so much fun being obsessed with all of this incredible content!!! I love reading your writing and interacting with you :)

#​I’m in love with her - @jexnrey

what does the tag say????

#fellow chris evan’s simp - @himarose

he’s for the bisexuals isn’t he?

#my angel <3 - @angelzone

your so hot. your blog, aesthetic everything

#fellow female simp - @on-my-contrarian-sh1t

love that we have a mutual understanding for all the hot female celebs in the world.

@spring-picnics

#my moots <3

[dosthoeyevsky]

11th Street Kids DnD Headcanons

Hello it’s hbo peacemaker brainrot hours, have some headcanons

It’s Adrian who first brings up the idea of group DnD nights because god help him if he doesn’t try and drag as many of his friends as possible into one of his favourite hobbies like a friendly autistic black hole

Economos and Adebayo are the easiest to convince, John’s played before on and off and had an okay experience, Leota’s never played but she’s seen people talk about things like the adventure zone and dimension 20 and she thinks it looks fun and in her wheelhouse

Chris is next to join in, he likes to play the part of the meathead jock who has no time for dweeb pastimes but we all know he’d actually love and get super into the rp power fantasy of it all

Chris probably even overheard a few of Adrian’s DND games while hanging out with Gut Chase way back when and while they absolutely bullied the shit out of Adrian and his friends for it, Chris does begrudgingly admit that it actually kinda looked fun and interesting

Harcourt is tougher to crack because she doesn’t know anything about dnd outside the nerd stereotypes of sweaty nerds in a basement in full cosplay spouting incomprehensible high fantasy bullshit and initially turns the group down outright

it takes a lot of convincing from Leota that it’s actually a super fun creative outlet, a promise (read: bribe) of free alcohol at the session and at least 2 sets of puppy eyes (you guess whose) before she eventually caves

Murn’s alive in this scenario because I said so. He declines (at first) but we’ll get back to him. 

Everyone kind of initially dreads that Adrian’s going to run a homebrew that veers slightly too hard into autobiographical fanfic to be comfortable but he actually runs something cool, beginner friendly, and with some really interesting story seeds that could turn into an engaging multi-year campaign.

Leota makes a gnome ranger with a cowboy gimmick and corgi companion that she rides into battle like an adorable fluffy steed

Chris rolls an obvious self-insert aarakokra paladin that looks like a bald eagle and has huge eagle muscles and gets all the eagle ladies

Everyone guesses that Harcourt’s going to play a rogue (except for chris, who desperately hopes she plays a hot tiefling bard for his character to romance)

However, Harcourt surprises everyone by preparing her character ahead of time. She decides to play an aasimar paladin that’s a thinly-veiled parody-slash-one-up of chris’s character, because she saw “creative outlet” and read “lighthearted petty revenge against chris for being an ass with absolutely no affectionate intent behind it at all.” 

John is hoping that this means he’s finally going to get to play the cool edgy rogue of his dreams instead of getting shoehorned into playing a cleric again but upon seeing that the party consists of two paladins and a ranger he sighs and goes “fuck it, cleric it is.”

Session Zero is an absolute duuuuumpster fire. Playing DnD can really expose a lot about what a player is like as a person and as it turns out, Harcourt is EXTREMELY competitive and it kind of throws off the entire vibe of the table. She and Chris are insufferable. Rules are flat out ignored. John is tired. Adrian is trying to get a word in edgewise and that just makes everyone even angrier. Leota came out to have a good time and now her coworkers are fighting. 

John eventually breaks, snaps at everyone that dnd is about collaborative storytelling, tells adrian to actually step up and try and make the game fun for everyone instead of just enabling his best friend’s bullshit, tells chris and emilia to knock it off, and goes home early to gripe about the experience on r/rpghorrorstories. He regrets the outburst, but more than anything he’s disappointed that he didn’t get to have fun with his friends.

Adrian finds the post that evening, reflects on it, and, surprisingly, it strikes a chord. The goal of having fun did get away from him there and he has a one-on-one with Economos to try and smooth things over. 

Chris, Emilia and Leota agree to give it a second chance too, and they realise that not only is the party unbalanced, but so is the group dynamic at the table. 

So this time, they try and get Murn to join in.

It takes even longer to convince Murn than it did to convince Harcourt. 

The group had to resort to a fully referenced powerpoint presentation. 

It was awesome. 

Murn agrees to it on the basis that it makes a good leadership and teamwork exercise. 

So session zero take 2 happens. 

Harcourt rerolls her character, and makes a half-orc fighter. She’s still ruthlessly competitive in battle, but shifts her focus towards having fun with the group. 

Murn gets to be the cleric. He had no ideas for his character so he just picked his character archetype and backstory verbatim from the player handbook. bless murn, he’s boring but we love him

Economos retools his edgy rogue concept to be a college of whispers bard instead, finally finding a happy medium between picking a class based on the party’s needs and playing a fun character.

Much, much later, either John or Adebayo step up to DM to give Adrian a break, and they very quickly realise why Adrian doesn’t play. He’s an absolute nightmare at the table who is somehow both a ruthlessly pedantic rules lawyer and a murder hobo who has a lifelong ban on playing casting classes from basically every other tabletop group in evergreen for trying to break the game as much as possible without actually cheating. He’s tried to make the peasant railgun happen. Ditto the bag of holding black hole glitch, chicken nugget surprise, and a whole slew more gamebreaking tactics that nobody would have thought possible. The monk character he creates is hilarious though, and he becomes a recurring minor NPC in the regular campaign. 

On the day they push all the desks together to make a large DnD table, and the stationery cabinet is raided for notepads and pens.

Adrian brings all this really nice DnD stuff with him, he has this armful of books, a colour coded binder of DM notes, immaculately hand-painted minis at the ready, he brings the nice maps, he even brings a fancy bluetooth speaker to play cool ambient music for the session. And he had all that shit just sitting in his car. Y’know. For emergencies. 

He also went way overboard and bought everybody a new set of dice each in colours he thinks they’ll like. He would’ve bought everyone custom minis, dice bags and notebooks on top of that too but he’s already overdrawn on his bank account so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Everyone else is on snack duty. Economos brings chips and salsa, Adebayo brings homemade cupcakes that she made with her wife, Harcourt was going to bring nothing but eventually caved and brought jello shots, and Chris and Murn both turned up with carrot sticks and hummus because there needs to be a healthy option and when they realise they brought the same thing they just glare at each other like rival PTA moms at a bake sale

Even though Murn doesn’t eat he still went that extra step of making the hummus himself at home with nice olive oil and a paprika garnish instead of buying it from the store like chris did, but chris did bring beer with him so that basically makes it a draw.

#peacemaker #hbo peacemaker #peacemaker 2022 #headcanon jamming #dnd #dungeons and dragons #long post #posts that i gone and done #enjoy fuckos <3 #background chris x harcourt #look dude it could be a good ship if they writers don't fall into the cookie cutter cishet romance trap #JAMES GUNN PLEASE LET ME WRITE FOR YOUR SHOW

[porkcutletheadcanons]

Random Yuri!!! On Ice Headcanons:

• Viktor has to hold Yuuri’s hand while watching horror movies since he gets scared really easily.

•Yakov definitely cried after finding out Yuuri and Viktor got engaged, because hes seen Viktor so lonely as long as he’d known him, really, so seeing him finally find happiness and love kinda warmed his heart.. yaknow

• Yuri (Yurio) is pretty affectionate with Otabek when no one is around ((he also made Beka pinky swear he wouldnt tell anyone about that side of him))

•VIKTOR HAS ADHD

• Yuuri never has and never will be able to resist Viktor’s puppy dog eyes

• Viktor is a kinky mf

•Yakov and (maybe) Lilia are like parents to Viktor.. maybe Viktor’s parents we’re absent when he was little so they kinda took him in as their own

• Yakov and Lilia divorced because of ur average old people arguments, like one of them forgetting to put the butter back in the fridge

• Teenage Viktor was soooooo nervous to come out to Yakov and Lilia since Russian is overall a pretty homophobic country, so when he finally told them he was gay you can only imagine the fear on his face when Yakov started crying.. he thought he was gonna lose his coach ((probably father figure too)).. but in the end it just turned out Yakov was proud of him for telling them

But Lilia already knew and came prepared with the rainbow pride shit and threw it at him, hugged him and left

• OTABEK HAS MANY PIERCINGS AND HE LOOKS SMEXEH

•All the skaters are AMAZING singers and massive fans of musical theatre , so occasionally in the middle of practice ((for the sake of this, everyone now trains in Russia)) they’d all burst out into a song from The Greatest Showman, Six or Hamilton ect

• Viktor can play Piano exceptionally well.. we talking professional level.. so he’d end up playing and even writing songs to play to Yuuri

•Phichit and Yuuri can play ukulele, they just got bored while at college in Detroit

•Viktor and Chris mainly bond over being absolute nerds.. they both LOVE mythology and could talk about it for hours on end

• Adding on to that ((stole this from a friend))

Chris is such a geek.. he loves Greek mythology.. Viking Mythology, and hes rather affectionate.. and its a side you dont see of him..

• Georgi would kiss a guy but say no homo straight away

•I DONT CARE IF THEY HAVE DEEP OR HIGH PITCHED VOICES, DUDES OR NO, AT LEAST 70% OF THE SKATERS CAN DO THE UWU VOICE

• Viktor poured his heart and soul into skating, after all, it is his passion.. but he ran out of time to do more of the things he loves because practice was always in the way of things.. personally, i think Viktor is an amazing writer, due to one of his hobbies, reading and his WIIILD imagination ((though he probably still struggles with his English so he writes them all in Russian))

• Viktor has called Yakov dad mannyyyyy times by accident just bc Yakov is in fact a father to him

•ALL THE SKATERS ARE AT LEAST A LIL BIT FRUITY (yes that includes JJ)

• Viktor could’ve just cut his hair for no reason.. but we dramatic here so heres some possibilities that could’ve gone on here:

- In ancient asian culture, cutting your hair could be a symbol of letting go of trauma, though Viktor is European, its still a possibility seeing as though the anime is obviously made in Japan

- .. this one goes both ways, Viktor is trans.. bc as we saw in the scenes where hes 16, he had long hair and looked overall very feminine.. so he may have cut his hair to be more masc.. ORRRR he could be trans mtf but never actually told anyone and cut his hair bc it was kinda looked down upon for a ‘boy’ to have long hair.. so he cut it and tried to convince himself this whole time that hes cis gender.. which could possibly be why hes sorta miserable

- AH FUCK HE GOT AHOLD OF THE KITCHEN SCISSORS AGAIN

•Anyways, next

Yuuri will randomly walk into Viktors room every once in a while, whether hes busy or not and just sit with him and talk.. theres not really much reason behind it other than they enjoy each other’s company more than anything (Makkachin would also join them)

• VIKTOR ADORES YUURI’S COOKING

VIKTOR CANNOT COOK FOR SHIT SO SOMETIMES HE’D HAVE HELP OF YUURI AND THEY’D MAKE DINNER TOGETHER AND ITS SO SIMPLE BUT MAKES THEM SO HAPPY DISPITE DOING IT SOOOO MANY TIMES

oh ok i’ve been typing this for an hour now.. more coming tomorrow? My thumbs hurt

Byyyyyyeeeee

#victor nikiforov #yuri on ice #headcanon #yuuri katsuki #angsty #fluffy #ice adolescence #yakov feltsman #phichit chulanont #christophe giacometti #wedding #gaypride #gay love #gay mlm #lgbtpride #lgbtq #boys love