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merely-a-caricature · 6 months

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Happy Asexual Spectrum Awareness (Ace) Week!

Ace week has started! Asexual awareness week takes place during the last full week of October, and will be taking place in this wonderful year of 2023 from October 22-28! I will be linking my sources at the end if you want to check them out and get extra info!

Ace Week is a time for us in the community to focus on all things asexual! Part of this involves campaigning for a greater understanding and acceptance of ALL of those in the ace-spec! It’s also a time to reflect on how far we’ve come as a community!

Now, since been talking about asexual it’s and awareness, but what exactly does it mean to be asexual?

Some who is asexual (shortened ace) experiences little to no sexual attraction, and what attraction is felt may be expedience in a way that is different from the norm. Asexuality is an umbrella term used for those on the asexual spectrum (or ace-spec). Being asexual may mean you’re not interested in sex, it may be that your repulsed my the idea of sex, but it could also mean you feels disconnect from sex. There a multitude of reasons why some may identify as asexual. One reason why someone may be asexual is because they have a low sex drive/libido

Being asexual is not the same as having a low sex drive or libido. Someone who is celibate may not have sex but still feel sexual attraction or have a high libido but not act in those desire for various reasons. Sexual attraction is not the same as a sex drive. Sexual attraction is wanted to perform sexual acts with a specific person or gender whereas libido is defined as sexual desire. What is meant by sexual desire is essentially a physiological response in which one gets aroused. Just because a person gets aroused does not necessarily mean they want to have sex either. It can simply be a response from your body due to hormones or other things without any of the psychological desire for sexual acts.

Sex drive is one’s general “appetite” for sex in general, not a specific person like with sexual attraction. Bottom line is, asexuals may have a sex drive, they may experience physiological arousal, but they rarely if ever experience the attraction to a specific person to want to have sex.

Although asexual people may not experience sexual attraction, they can most certainly experience other types of attraction like romantic or aesthetic attraction. For example, you can be a heteroromantic-asexual, or a homoromantic-asexual, and so on and so forth. I won’t get super in-depth here, but I can link some stuff about the Split-Attraction-Model (SAM) if you want to learn more. I just also want to mention not every asexual (or aromantic) person uses or likes the SAM. Personally, I find it helpful, but you can also chuck it out a window if if you want

Additionally, there are various cultural and personal attitudes asexuals may have towards sex. I have made post about the cultural attitudes towards sex and the personal attitudes towards sex respectively. As an example, I would say I am sex-ambivalent and sex-neutral personally. If you want to know what that means, read my posts or check out some resources I have linked at the end

Asexuality is a spectrum. Some people, like me, experience no sexual attraction. Other aces may experience attraction on occasion or in certain circumstances, like demisexuals who only experience sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional connection with someone. People who experience sexual attraction infrequently may be called graysexual . There are many microlabels out there, and it’s a personal choice whether or not to use them

I have the sources I used and some more resources linked if that interests you, and you can, of course, do some of your own more in-depth research! I would highly recommend checking out the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network as they have a lot of good information, answers to questions, and you can finds links to forums and such!

Sources/Extra Resources

What is Ace Week

Asexual

Sexual Attraction vs Sexual Arousal

Split Attraction Model

Asexuality Visibility and Education Network

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simsbyclara · 1 year

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~Alma Fernandes~

Entirely resenting her mother's eccentric career choice, Alma was always the creative sort. Stashed away under her bed are stacks and stacks of stories and drawings she wrote when she was younger. They often revolved around two characters falling in love as she saw how enamoured her parents were with each other. However, she could never find this love for herself. She thought she was broken until she found the label of aroace and it changed her life. She went on to write about people just like her, and she became a world- renowned fiction writer.

also how on earth is she that pretty? like? all of them apart from the founder (ana) of course are just made from genetics . how on earth are they just goddesses

it is also aromantic spectrum awareness week :) so great timing for her

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #mysim #legacy #sims 4 #sims 4 cas #the sims 4 #sims 4 cc #sims #ts4 #ts4 maxis match #ts4 simblr #ts4mm #simblr #asaw 2023

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stallionspirit444 · 2 years

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Asexual A-Week Blog post

What is more natural than seeing a member of the opposite sex and spontaneously feel incredibly shy, an impulsive desire to approach them, and the anxiety or butterflies about your impression? We were conditioned to see this as innate behavior of a character with a crush in our childhood TV shows, such as Caillou, Max & Ruby, Avatar: the Last Airbender, Mickey Mouse, and etc. The infatuation and admiration aspect, for the most part, unmistakably different than feelings toward a friend. Like night and day!

For me, this romanticized portrayal of “obvious” romance seemed so foreign and unrelatable to me for years. However, in high school peers began to show me pictures of their crush or “hot” celebrities and asked for my opinion so often that I couldn’t help but become painfully aware of emotions I did not and could not harbor. Thus, I could only resort to comparing myself to the “normal” and using process of elimination. SPOILER ALERT: The conclusion was not a “coming out” story, but rather an implosion of my beliefs in “normal” that completely buried my sense of self for a time.

I am a creature of labels. Why? Because that means there’s a population with a common definable attribute large enough to be considered and recognized with a title. For me, labels satisfy one of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, love and belonging. After several processes of elimination, I was introduced to “demisexual” in 2014 “quoiromantic” or “WTFromantic” in 2016. Initially, I was ecstatic to find terms that described my feelings or lack of feelings in an easily understood way. I learned that demisexuality is the lack of primary sexual attraction or “only [feeling] sexually attracted to someone when they have an emotional bond with the person” (WebMD). I learned that quoiromantic, coined in 2012 by Cor, is “feeling that these categories [of romance/romantic attraction/romantic orientation] are personally inaccessible, inapplicable, or non-sensical” (Asexual Wiki).

Demisexual and quoiromantic are associated with the asexual spectrum and aromantic spectrum, respectively. The reality is that the majority, including LGBT members, believe asexuality and aromanticism to be unrealistic and a mental illness and thus, members are dehumanized. I’ve experienced it firsthand. All of the high school Gay-Straight Alliance members and the advisor discounted and mocked “demisexuality” when I asked about it anonymously. A girl said “It sucks [. . .] to have stumbled upon you” and “I didn’t know how extreme it was” when I pointed out that I informed her of my exact aro-ace orientation in my initial greeting just one week before.

Honestly, I feel like asexuals and aromantics are seen as model minorities in the discussion of orientation. The truth about a “model minority,” which is a marginalized minority considered to be more successful than the average population and even other minorities, is that their experience of discrimination is often denied and invalidated.

On one hand, I identify as an Asian American adopted and raised in a Caucasian family, where the privilege gap between myself and my family can be experienced firsthand 24/7. I also fall into the Asian career stereotype of an engineer, but I am a woman. These are the communities that I associate with based on appearance, and are also “model minorities.”

On the other hand lay my hidden identities, such as being a lesbian. But the reason I say my sexuality is a hidden identity is because I rarely have interests, AKA. I don’t have crushes. Today, it’s common to hear someone say, “I need to have an emotional bond to be intimate or before I like someone.” Depending on the context, they’d either identify as having a partner preference (AKA a choice), or they may identify as demisexual, which is not by choice. When I use this phrase, I truly mean that there is a set condition in order for the chemicals dopamine and norepinephrine to be released in my brain, or for that “instinctive” feeling to click.

My friends often tell me, “I wish I was like you” and, “You’re so lucky” as if I’m incapable of making shallow choices and am less likely to feel regret in relationships. Like the model minority, people think I have it easier than others, for some reason. Asexuals are not celibate, abstinent, sex-repulsed and sex-aversed, or traumatized individuals with high standards for intimacy. Aromantics are not incapable of love, commitment, affection, or anti-romance. Again, the aro-ace communities are STILL met with discrimination and erasure, as demonstrated with the acronym kicking “A” to the back of the line and then somehow(?) interpreted as “Ally.”

My very first experience of romantic and sexual attraction (that I could accept and admit) occurred in junior year of university at age 20. Being the self-aware psychoanalytical adult that I was, one cannot fathom how much confusion and self-disgust and torment I felt for several months. Unfamiliar emotions I hadn’t naturally and frequently felt in childhood had crept up on me until it was unbearable and I would have to cry myself to sleep. Thank God for my friends who supported and validated my emotions so that I could eventually accept them and attribute an impulsive phrase that would come to mind for each feeling. The moment I accepted them it was as if I had mastered inner peace, Kung Fu Panda style. I remained honest to my emotions and began my first relationship that almost completely erased my memory of feeling broken.

In my experience, no matter how I try to phrase my sexuality and my attraction, I’m always met with some sort of denial or a proposed “fix”. It’s similar to my frustration with society habitually assuming that any man I meet is a romantic interest rather than platonic including the men themselves who deny my sexuality because I “just haven’t met the right guy yet.”

Through trial and error I’ve come to treat my explanations like talking to someone in another language. When an English-speaking tourist wants to share a story with a Spanish-speaking individual the tourist has to meet the other person in their world or communicate in Spanish if they want that individual to see their world. And it is especially important to hear each persons’ stories as individual and personal instances. In the past I dismissed inquisitive people to google my labels as it was bothersome to re-explain myself and likewise, I would immediately google my friends’ labels so they wouldn’t be annoyed with my ignorance. However, my cis-hetero white male friend made a great statement: “Even with good intentions, you’re doing a disservice to them and to yourself when you immediately try to educate yourself with Google.” Be warned, those who immediately go to the internet may become misinformed and inadvertently assume stereotypical characteristics that aren’t applicable to everyone. That’s why there are spectrums.

We are not clones of each other with the same personality, preferences, skills, neuropsychology, biology, etc. But anything that diverges from your “natural” doesn’t mean it’s dirty, wrong, or broken. Honestly, the internet can be the savior to connect you with your community as well as the saboteur that cripples your sense of self. I have internalized arophobia and acephobia and that is exactly why I continue to speak against the existence of one normal. The next time someone says they’re aromantic or asexual, please give them the opportunity to explain what it means to them, because we aren’t set molds of your own imagining

#asexualweek #grey asexual #asexual #grey ace #ace #aromantic #grey aromantic #grey aroace #grey aro #aroace #LGBTQA #lgbt #lgbtq poc

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storyofmychoices · 2 months

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I know she's not technically a Choices character because she's from a fan-made game but are you going to make a Spread Joy edit with Amalia from It Lives Within for Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week 👉👈 because i would love to see that lol

You got it :) I'll share it tomorrow. Thanks for the suggestion! ❤️

I never played ILW so I didn't even know about Amalia. If there are any other Aro characters you know, let me know and I'll be happy to make SpreadJoy for them too!

#dani answers

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qpr-prompts · 2 years

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QPR February Prompt Challenge 2022

(ID, full prompt list transcription, and further elaboration under the read more!)

Basic Things To Know/Resources:

(What is a QPR?/What does queerplatonic mean?)

(Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week)

(Tagging QPRs on AO3)

(Flag Credit)

~Guidelines~

This event is for fun! Have fun and take breaks and don't beat yourself up if you miss some prompts!

This event is not limited to any specific fandom or content source! Original content featuring original characters is absolutely encouraged as well!

Any content goes! Art, writing, edits, headcanons, all types of content are valid prompt fills so long as the focus is on QPRs or has queerplatonic themes!

If you'd like for us to reblog your content, tag us at @qpr-prompts! (Slight disclaimer: while we encourage you to create whatever kind of content you like for this challenge, we won't reblog nsf-w content here to keep this blog open to all ages!)

We'll be tracking the tag (#qprfebruarychallenge), but we won't reblog anything unless you tag us!

Similarly, if you're following this blog and you only wish to see prompts, you can blacklist the tag (#qprpromptfill)

If you're interested in participating, we encourage you to reblog this post!

(ID: A calender of the month of February 2022, recolored using the colors of the queerplatonic flag. Each day is labeled and lists a prompt beneath it. The prompts are as listed below. /end ID)

Day 1: Silly

Day 2: Soft

Day 3: Hands

Day 4: AU Day - Coffee Shop AU and/or Adventure AU

Day 5: Crimes

Day 6: Home

Day 7: Hurt

Day 8: Healing

Day 9: Last

Day 10: Misfit

Day 11: AU Day - Fantasy AU and/or Modern AU

Day 12: Listen

Day 13: Look

Day 14: "No romo."

Day 15: Animal

Day 16: Broken

Day 17: Safe

Day 18: AU Day - Hanahaki AU and/or Enemies to QPPs AU

Day 19: "I am here."

Day 20: Little things

Day 21: Bright

Day 22: Appreciation

Day 23: Music

Day 24: Support

Day 25: AU Day - Soulmate AU and/or Fake Dating AU

Day 26: Flowers

Day 27: Treat

Day 28: Free Day! - (Quote), (Trope), (Song), (AU)

~More Info~

This section is additional information and elaboration on the prompts; you don't really need to read anything below to participate fully, but to those who may be confused, need an explanation on some prompts, or simply want to know how to better participate, this is where you'll find it!

You don't have to follow the prompt list. You all get unlimited excuses to skip a prompt if you don't like it, or if you just want to use your own prompt!

Some days are dedicated specifically to AUs, but you can incorporate as many AUs into your content as you wish!

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week takes place during this prompt challenge! If you'd like to focus specifically on ASAW, (here's a link with more information about it). The days for ASAW are February 20th - February 26th.

Day 14's prompt, "No romo." is a joke based on the phrase "No homo.", playing on the word "romantic".

The AU Days are on Fridays! Again, if you want to skip the prompts on those days or use a different prompt entirely, you are absolutely allowed to. If you want to use both AUs given on those days, you absolutely can! If you need further prompting on the AUs we've chosen, just keep reading!

Day 28 is your free day! If you were diligent about fulfilling all the prompts, this one's your prompt-blog assigned excuse to let loose. We've suggested picking a quote, your favorite trope, your favorite song (or maybe the song that speaks to your favorite QPR), or an AU you just really like! Of course, you can also use your own ideas if you want!

Our (ask box) is open if you have any further questions about this challenge! We may or may not turn anonymous asks off if people can't behave; if we do, we'll answer your ask privately if you request it!

~AU Elaboration~

We wanted these AUs to be as broad as possible to give you guys some choices, so here you go!

Day 4: Coffee Shop AU/Adventure AU

a.) Can't go wrong with a feel-good encounter at the local coffee shop! Or maybe it's not local? Who knows! Maybe it's not even a coffee shop. Maybe its a flower shop, or a tattoo parlor, or a different kind of shop entirely!

b.) Adventure is out there! Sailing the high seas and foraging through lands or waters unknown on a grand quest, running into the local superhero or vigilante or supervillain and accidentally getting swept up in an entirely new world, the possibilities are endless! Or maybe every day is an adventure with this QPR?

Day 11: Fantasy AU/Modern AU

a.) Medieval times await! Or maybe your favored taste of fantasy is the supernatural! Angels and demons, knights and dragons and royals, mermaids and fairies, or maybe the QPR are rival wizards who just have to one-up each other. Maybe the decrepit house down the street is rumored to be haunted. Escape from reality!

b.) What's their slice of life look like? Are they in school together? Is one of them is a celebrity of some kind? How does the QPR fare in a modernized setting?

Day 18: Hanahaki AU/Enemies to QPPs

a.) The disease born of unrequited love isn't just limited to romantic love! How does the QPR deal with blooms born of unrequited queerplatonic love?

b.) There's no greater journey than the one taken by two enemies who have learned to trust and love each other. How has their initial relationship changed from those who hate each other to those who trust each other?

Day 25: Soulmate AU/Fake Dating AU

a.) Ending with the classics! Any soulmate AU will do! How does the QPR fare in this predominantly romantic AU? Maybe platonic soulmates are barely heard of, or maybe the QPR fall right in with each other as they were meant to be!

b.) Fake dating, but are they faking a romantic relationship to cover for their queerplatonic love, or are they faking their QPR and eventually fall in queerplatonic love with each other? Who are they hiding it from? What'll happen if they're found out?

Have fun everyone!!

~ Mod Comedy and Mod Tragedy 🎭

#qpr prompts #relationship prompts #prompt challenge #writing prompts #queerplatonic #qprfebruarychallenge #mod comedy #mod tragedy

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specialagentartemis · 2 years

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You Can Grow: Doug Eiffel and Embracing Aromantic Desires as Character Growth

Or, an aromantic reading of Doug Eiffel.

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I wrote this and called it my Aromantic Eiffel Manifesto for Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week last year, but never posted it to tumblr. You can find it on AO3 here! Meta belongs on AO3 just as much as fanfiction does :)

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Wolf 359 is a sci-fi space opera and my favorite piece of media at the moment. One of the reasons I love it so much, why it was so easy to get so deeply invested in and feel comfortable in, is that there are no romance plotlines. There's an even balance of male and female characters, they have strong, well-developed, unique relationships, and there's not a single romantic one in the mix.

This makes it really easy to read some characters as aromantic, and the protagonist, Doug Eiffel, stands out as a character whose emotional and narrative arc takes on really powerful resonances when read in an aromantic light. Wolf 359’s themes consistently emphasize that your choices make you who you are, that everyone can choose to be better, and that growth and personal fulfillment have to be a conscious choice; and a reading of Eiffel as aromantic suggests an arc wherein choosing to embrace his desires and values as an aromantic person and live his life according to those are part of what led him to be a happier, better, more fulfilled person.

First, Some Background

From the beginnng, the characters in Wolf 359 are set up such that romantic interpretations aren’t obvious or well-supported. The characters develop closer relationships over the course of the show, but there are no romantic arcs between anyone throughout the entire series. Gabriel Urbina, the creator and showrunner, has made it clear on several occasions that he didn’t want to write romantic arcs, and the entire cast and crew has consistently shied away from romantic-tinged questions during Q & As. Possibly this is because the creators are all a group of friends from college and didn’t want to act kissy-noises at each other because that would feel weird (though that’s just speculation).

Specifically, though, because questions about romantic Eiffel/Hera get asked a lot, it stands out to me that Zach Valenti (the voice actor for Eiffel) and Michaela Swee (the voice actor for Hera) have been friends since grade school, and Zach Valenti has made it a point in his Q & A and livestream appearances to steer questions away from the topic of romance between Eiffel and Hera.

This is just some behind-the-scenes setting to suggest that the writing, acting, and direction lead to non-romantic interactions between the characters. Of course authorial intent isn’t everything, but the relationships it does emphasize, and the themes it builds around them, lead to a reading of Eiffel as not only not interested in a romantic relationship with anyone in the cast, but not interested in romantic relationships at all, ever. And that slides really elegantly into the themes in the show.

Eiffel's History

A lot of this reading draws from the few paragraphs that Eiffel gives us about his past in episode 40, “Limbo,” which, upon looking back, clicks so much if you take an aromantic reading to it.

Crucially, this is the episode where we learn about Eiffel’s ex-girlfriend and daughter.

EIFFEL

One day, while Doug's out playing with his radio, he meets this real special girl. Jury's still out on whether she was his dream girl or his nightmare demon monster from the Black Lagoon, but they start going out because... well, he's had worse ideas.

Here, we have a setup/contrast we’ll see recurring: the juxtaposition between something Eiffel wants and likes (playing with his radio; it’s something he’s shown to have both an aptitude for and a genuine interest in), and something he seems ambivalent-to-apathetic about and gives no real justification for doing (going out with Kate Garcia).

“They start going out because… well, he’s had worse ideas.” Doesn’t sound like someone who actively wants a romantic relationship to me.

And the relationship doesn’t go well.

EIFFEL

So, for a while things are all happy ever after. Then, for a while, things get real Sid and Nancy.

Sure, plenty of alloromantics have relationships that get toxic and terrible, but this seems like one that Eiffel didn’t particularly want in the first place except as an abstract concept (“jury’s still out on whether she was his dream girl or his nightmare monster from the Black Lagoon”). No wonder he was unhappy in it, if a romantic relationship is the way he felt he had to relate to her and then felt unhappy and resentful when actually in it.

EIFFEL

But just when the tower of Babel's about to come crashing down, along comes a magical, bouncing, baby girl. […]

For a while, it was okay. Doug was seeing little baby Anne pretty much every other day, talking to her every day, teaching her to play the Jaws theme on her little dinky kid xylophone, all the good stuff. Hilariously... our man's pretty great at it.

MINKOWSKI

At being a dad?

EIFFEL

Oh yeah. Until he slips up. See, fun fact about Officer Eiffel: Dougie Boy doesn't like to have a drink. Dougie Boy doesn't like to have two drinks, or four drinks, or six drinks. Doug likes to have twelve drinks. Fifteen drinks. But when Doug has a kid, he thinks it's time to go the full Robert Downey Jr. He goes to meetings, gets cleaned up. And then one day - one bad day - he has one drink. One. Then it's showtime folks! The Doug Eiffel Limbo: How Low Will He Go? […]

Kate, our story's angel-slash-demon-slash-ex-girlfriend, freaks out, because... well, because she has a brain. Custody was never gonna go Doug's way because duh. And after that... well, Dougie-Doug goes to a bad place. He turns into a bit of a... a good old fashioned monster. And one night, about two months later, he pulls up to Kate's house, jimmys open the back door, gets his daughter in the car, and rides off into the sunset. Happy ever after, right?

And then we get to hear everything else: the drunk driving, the crash, the arrest, the lowest moment in Doug Eiffel’s life.

It’s not a lot of airtime, but it does have a lot of implications.

From this, it’s possible to construct a distinctly aromantic narrative. Doug Eiffel is rootless and unfulfilled and doesn’t have a lot going for him, at this point in his life. He joined the military young, which lasted “until [his] disciplinary record caught up with [him]” (mini-episode 12, “Pagliacci”). He worked private security for a while, and then pizza delivery. This is not the picture of a man who knows what he wants, or how to achieve it even if he did. Some of his choices actively seem to go against his obvious desires—how could someone like him, with his well-established dislike for orders and defiant opposition to authority think that the military would work out for him? (It didn’t.) But as someone kind of rootless, without the ability to articulate what he wants, and with a strong streak of what could be laziness but also reads a lot like ADHD… I can imagine the military would be one of the few places that might accept him, that could offer him certain things (a goal, a chance to work with technical equipment) that he wanted, and be the kind of respectable establishment that would show that he was growing up, being something respectable and productive now. It’s not that it was a life he wanted; but it’s a life that’s normal, respectable, and available to him. And it absolutely did not work out, because Eiffel by his nature is not cut out for military and life and is demonstrably unhappy and resentful in even the slightest facsimile of one.

I see him doing something really similar regarding romantic relationships, and dating Kate Garcia in particular: it’s something close enough to what he wants (he does like her) and so entering a romantic relationship is a respectable, responsible, grown-up thing to do, and he doesn’t even know how to articulate what he does and doesn’t want out of the relationship—until he gets it.

Eiffel is unhappy being a boyfriend, but genuinely loves being a father—again, the juxtaposition between what he wants (his parental relationship with his daughter Anne) and what he doesn’t (his partnered relationship with Kate). “Doug was seeing little baby Anne pretty much every other day, talking to her every day” suggests that he was happiest when he had already separated from Kate but was still in regular contact with Anne. He expresses, throughout, no regret for the loss of the romantic relationship, and was in fact happier when he wasn’t in it; it was the formal loss of custody and being cut off from his daughter that led him to spiral and hit bottom.

It’s also important that throughout he doesn’t really blame Kate for this at all; he doesn’t express particular anger at her, and he respects her, even if resentfully. He acknowledges that her reactions to his alcoholism were justified. (He really, really hates himself for this; the whole story puts the blame squarely on Eiffel for the alcohol-fueled destructive decisions he makes.)

So: even when trying to make a romantic relationship work out, it didn’t, and it made him miserable; it was after separating, and after discovering what he actually wanted (to be a parent, to have this relationship with his daughter) that he became happier and more fulfilled and wanting to do better; and it was after losing custody of his daughter that he really began to get both abjectly miserable and selfishly vindictive.

Overall, this presents a picture of a man who is drifting, trying to fit into "respectable" life trajectories and never fitting or making them work, and then ending up crashing and burning from being such a poor fit in something he never really wanted anyway (military, romantic relationship). And, while very dramatized, this resonates strongly as a “before you knew you were aromantic” feeling, the pressure to try to fit into expectations because, well, that’s what people do, right? That’s how you prove you’re a real and responsible adult, right? Why is trying to do so making me so unhappy, then?

This is all the “before,” the backstory Eiffel tells Minkowski as he anxiously waits to hear if another four-year-old girl with a traumatic brain injury imparted by her parent will be okay. The part that makes his arc feel like growth and fulfillment into an aromantic life is Eiffel’s arc as we see it progress through the “present” of the show.

Eiffel's Arc

Doug Eiffel’s character development throughout the show is some really impressive character writing, taking him from a snarky rude jerk who is very performative about how much he doesn’t care and isn’t trying, to one of the most emotionally perceptive, morally centered, and empathetic characters on the show. It’s an arc, and a broader theme throughout the podcast, about how our choices make us who we are—and it’s a theme and an arc that takes on an additional resonance when reading Eiffel through an aromantic lens.

We meet Eiffel as a selfish, emotional, irritable slacker. He doesn't care about the people around him, because he's jaded—this is his punishment for his rock-bottom worst decision of his life, a reflection of his failure at being a human being (no stable job, failed relationship—but, again, most prominently, his failure as a father and the harm he caused to his daughter). His tension with the rest of the crew is exacerbated by the way Minkowski is constantly frustrated with his lack of work ethic or any enthusiasm to be here—which, at that point, neither she nor we the viewers realize is a deliberate punishment, is a literal prison. Eiffel has proven to himself that he's a failure, and has given up on himself and is embracing not caring. His whole bit in “Am I Alone Now?” and “Are the Spacesuits Itchy?” plays up that flippantness and callousness. (This is something I actually see as very much rooted in an ADHD reading, too—and ADHD and aromanticism both have a very strong penchant for producing feelings of “why is something that seems so effortless for everyone else so impossible for me?”)

But the same traits that made him the butt of the narrative early in season develop into the things that make him the heart and moral center of the show later on. Eiffel begins to grow as a person and become a better person when he starts caring about the people around him—Hera, then Minkowski, even Hilbert. His impulsive emotional responses—even his cowardice and selfishness—end up making him cautious, perceptive, empathetic, and adamantly pacifistic, trying to solve problems peacefully by making friends and convincing people to get along (ex. “The Sound and the Fury,” “Fire and Brimstone.") He’s the first to try to make friends with Lovelace, and comes close to actually succeeding. He keeps reaching out to Hilbert, trying to get Hilbert to come to the “light side” and choose to be a better person. Eiffel recognizes how his choices hurt the person he loved most (Anne), and begins making conscious choices to care so as to not hurt anyone else.

Over the course of the show, Eiffel not only becomes a better, self-fulfilled, healed person, but a happier person, deeply devoted to the people around him. He becomes his best and happiest self in this space station removed from the social pressures on Earth, embedded in a network of deep and important platonic relationships. These different relationships are in fact the structure through which Eiffel becomes a better person.

Of course, all the relationships depicted on the show are very strong and non-romantic, but other characters do express their romantic interests in other ways—Minkowski has a husband back on Earth who she loves and wants to see again, Fisher has a boyfriend back on Earth he talks about glowingly, and even Jacobi talks regretfully about a separation from Klein that seems probable to read as a breakup. Unlike these, and unlike his wish to see his daughter again, Eiffel never expresses interest in trying to rekindle a romantic relationship with Kate, or to seek a new one. Removed from amatonormative pressures, he found the life he wants and the people important to him, and they’re these people, these non-romantic relationships, right here.

You Can Grow

Personal growth through your choices, and specifically your choices about who you want to be and what you need to do to make becoming that person happen, are a recurring theme throughout the show. In space, all of the characters are physically separated from their pasts and the things that made them—and now they get to decide who they want to be.

This is exemplified directly in the conclusion of the special episode “Change of Mind.” “You're not just what you were made,” Lovelace says. “You can grow.”

In this instance, what you were made doesn’t refer to any innate qualities. This quote grew out of a conversation between Lovelace and the AI Eris, and were made refers specifically to the idea that they were both literally created by another entity with their own goals—Eris by Goddard Futuristics, Lovelace as an alien duplicate by the Dear Listeners. This kicks off a season-long arc about Lovelace trying to decide who she is going forward, whether she’s still the same Isabel Lovelace. It’s important that it also comes directly after a look into Lovelace’s past—or, as noted, how Lovelace remembers her past. Lovelace is haunted by her mission and what happened to her, and it has turned her into a different person than she was back then. So, social pressures, social forces, and personal history are also all set up as the things that make you, in Wolf 359—and all things that don’t have to define you, if you don’t let them. And, again, space is an excellent place to escape those social forces and explore becoming something new.

This is a fundamental part of both Minkowski’s and Eiffel’s arcs. Both of them have pressures, both socially- and personally-applied, that they’re chafing under and making them unhappy. Minkowski felt an alienation that came from being an immigrant as a child and striving to be a perfect, precise, assimilated American and officer. In her backstory episode (“Once in a Lifetime”), that gets used against her to manipulate her into taking this job. Her self-consciousness about this comes out in her extreme strictness about following the rules because she wants to run a successful mission and prove it was all worth it. By the end of the show, a lot of this by-the-book strictness has fallen away, and Minkowski embraces both more chaotic and lateral-thinking problem-solving, and loyalty to the people around her rather than to the abstract idea of rules and hierarchy—and in the process, finally comes into her own as a leader. She acknowledges the idea of choices directly in “Dirty Work”—there may not be any “correct” or even good answers; what matters is that you made the choices.

If space allowed Minkowski the, well, space to not be what she was made, and to grow, the same is true of Eiffel. He’s not defined solely by his past; he’s not defined solely by his failures. They’re part of him, but he doesn’t have to just be what his past made him. He can choose to grow. And he does.

In this sense, we come back to the thematic thread. If Eiffel is aromantic, a significant part of his past was being torn between what he actually wanted, and what seemed like the available option that made sense just because it was there. In space, removed from that, he was no longer in a place where amatonormativity had any hold to present an obvious available option. So he was able to actually look at what he wanted, what mattered, and make those choices… and grow.

On Earth, Doug Eiffel, aromantic, was trying to force himself to fit into expected social structures—a respectable job, and a respectable relationship. He was bad at both, and both were making him miserable, but he had no image of how it could be different, or what he wanted, or what would make him happy. So he kept trying at what he felt he was supposed to do and bitterly embraced his perception of himself as a stupid failure of a person.

But, in space, freed from Earth expectations, he was able to find not only what he was good at doing (radio mediation between humans and aliens, moral mediation between high-strung humans and other humans) but also the types of relationships he wanted (not only a chance to try again as a parent with Hera, but his friendships with Minkowski, Hera, and Lovelace, and even his attempts to reach out to Hilbert). He found a non-traditional job and family structure that work well for him and give him what he wants, discovering a social setup that makes him feel worthwhile, important, and loved.

This reads really strongly to me as an aro narrative: leaving Earth to escape amatonormativity and discovering your preferred found family of strong, diverse platonic relationships (in SPACE). You're not just what you were made (shaped by amatonormativity, miserable). You can grow. You can choose what it means to be you.

A Brief Conclusion

Also, Doug Eiffel is living my personal aro dream of living in a big house with all of his best friends. (He in fact one-ups that because the house is his best friend.)

#Wolf 359 #aromantic #Doug Eiffel #character analysis #meta #my meta #my writing #I welcome discussion that people want to have about this! whether here or on AO3

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choicespride · 2 months

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Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week 2024 Masterlist

Blades of Light and Shadow

aeruilir - f!elf!mc (Killian Clawthorne) - @inlocusmads

Crossroads - nb!OC (Nyx Selenastra) - @storyofmychoices

New Nyx Edit - nb!OC (Nyx Selenastra) - @storyofmychoices

Nyx Ask - nb!OC (Nyx Selenastra) - @storyofmychoices

Nyx & Nessa - nb!OC (Nyx Selenastra) & f!OC (Nessa Tidalheart) - @storyofmychoices

Crimes of Passion

Questionnaire - nb!MC (Kiira Rose) - @aallotarenunelma

The Elementalists

Atlas in Blue - Atlas Ernhardt - @storyofmychoices

SpreadJoy #858 - Zeph Hernandez - @storyofmychoices

SpreadJoy #861 - Atlas Ernhardt - @storyofmychoices

The Freshman

Maddison & Rin - MC (Rin Day) - @choicesmc

Somehow, I Never Got The Rose-Tinted Glasses - MC (Rin Day) - @choicesmc

Getaway Girls

SpreadJoy #859 - Maia Thompson - @storyofmychoices

The Haunting of Braidwood Manor

Questionnaire - f!MC (Hanna Watkins) - @aallotarenunelma

High School Story

Myra Khandaar but if she had a full body sprite for her casual outfit ft. an alt version - Myra Khandaar - @cadybear420

Questionnaire - nb!MC (Ilo Jordan Lee) - @aallotarenunelma

It Lives Anthology

Lottie Hamilton ASAW24 Edits - nb!MC (Lottie Hamilton) - @peonyblossom

SpreadJoy #860 - Amalia de León - @storyofmychoices

Murder at Homecoming

Questionnaire - nb!MC (Valentine Edelmina Stone) - @aallotarenunelma

Open Heart

Asks - f!OC (Aliyah), Bryce Lahela - @mydemonsdrivealimo

So I'll Just Paint It Chrome - Bryce Lahela x m!MC (Jensen Valentine) - @mydemonsdrivealimo

Perfect Match

Questionnaire - f!MC (Pirjo Park) - @aallotarenunelma

Untameable

Questionnaire - nb!MC (Virta "River" Ariel Aaltonen) - @aallotarenunelma

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genderqueerpositivity · 4 years

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(Image description: 10 images with a white background and floral borders in the colors of the asexual pride flag along the top and bottom, every image has a paragraph of text in the center and the words "Ace Week" below.

1) "October 25th - 31st, 2020 is the 10th annual Asexual Awareness Week, also called Ace Week"

2) "Asexuality is a sexual orientation where a person experiences little or no sexual attraction. An asexual person may experience no sexual attraction, rarely experience sexual attraction, or only experience sexual attraction under certain circumstances."

3) "Asexuality is a spectrum and every asexual spectrum person is different. Some asexual spectrum people may identify as gray asexual or graysexual. A gray asexual person is someone who identifies with asexuality but may also experience sexual attraction very rarely."

4) "Demisexuality is another sexual orientation and asexual spectrum identity. A demisexual person is someone who will only experience sexual attraction to a person after a close emotional bond has been formed."

5) "Some asexual spectrum people also identify as aceflux. An aceflux person is someone whose asexual identity feels more fluid over time. Some aceflux people "flux" between asexual spectrum identities, while others feel asexual at certain points during their lives and and allosexual at other times."

6) "Acevague is an asexual spectrum identity where a neurodivergent person experiences their asexuality as influenced by their neurology. An acevague person may have difficulty determining whether or not they experience sexual attraction due to their neurodivergence."

7) "Many other terms have been created within the asexual community to describe asexual experiences. There are as many ways to be asexual as there are asexual people. Respect asexual people, our lived experiences, and our right to define our own identities."

8) "While some asexual people are also aromantic, many asexual people do experience forms of attraction other than sexual attraction--for example, romantic, platonic, or alterous attraction. Asexual people can also identify with other labels, such as panromantic, bi, or lesbian."

9) "Asexuality is not a choice and asexuality is not celibacy. Asexual people can have relationships, be polyamorous, get married, have sex, and be parents. And some asexual people don't want relationships, are sex-replused, are childfree, and never want to marry. All asexual people are valid."

10) "Support asexual people and respect the asexual community. Amplify the voices of marginalized people within the asexual community. Listen to asexual people of color, disabled asexual people, and transgender asexual people. Asexual communities matter. Asexual visibility matters.")

#ace week #asexual awareness week #asexual #asexuality #actuallyasexual #queer #op #genderqueerpositivity

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aromantic-and-heartless · 2 years

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Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week! To celebrate this year I wanted to do a giveaway!

The giveaway would be these little rubber band bracelets (with the identity of your choice). If bracelets aren’t your thing I can also do keychains (as a side note, small keychain ones are actually very easy to turn into earrings so 👀).

I want to primarily focus on aro identities with this since it is for ASAW but I will include other lgbtqia+/mogai/queer flags as well since I want to give 3-4 bracelets/keychains/whatever to the winners and I know not everyone uses multiple aro labels.

Keep in mind that there are limited color options so flags with many similar or uncommon colors might be impossible or inaccurate.

Some examples of bracelets!

[ID: Ten rubber band bracelets each with a different pride flag. The flags are bi-lesbian, sappho lesbian, pink/orange lesbian, rainbow, transmasc, ace, orange/blue aroace, nonbinary, and two aro ones. End ID]

Keychain examples!

(ignore the weird lighting pls)

[ID: A photo of four rubber band keychains. Two are shaped like a vertical pride flag, one of which is the transmasc flag (other unknown). Another keychain is a rainbow colored line with the word "queer" on it. The last is the rainbow flag shaped like a rainbow. End ID]

The requirements would be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum and to like/reblog this post. As well as be within the USA (due to Covid restrictions and my tiny college student budget).

I'll have a generator select 3 people, with 3-4 pride flag bracelets (or combo of bracelet/keychain/thing) per person. I want to end the giveaway on February 28th.

#will.txt #aro #arospec #aromantic spectrum awareness week #asaw 2022 #described

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ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity · 4 years

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Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (Feb 16 2020 - Feb 22nd 2020) !

Here are a few things to keep in mind!

Aromantic is both an orientation and an umbrella term for those who fall on the Aromantic Spectrum

There are multiple arospec identities and all of them are important and worth celebrating

Being Aromantic or Arospec does not mean you’re broken and does not mean something is wrong with you.

It can be hard for some people to accept their Aro identity but that doesn’t mean they aren’t deserving of positivity

Aromanticism and Asexuality are two different things

Aromantic means someone experiences little to no romantic attraction

Aromantic people are allowed to want and be in romantic relationships

Aromantic people are allowed to not want any type of relationship

Platonic relationships are no less important than romantic ones

Lesser known arospec identities are no less deserving of recognition and celebration

Aromantic POC exist

Mentally ill Aromantic people exist

Young Aromantic people exist

Adult Aromantic people exist

Religious Aromantic people exist

You can identify as Aromantic regardless of race, gender identity, age, religion, etc.

It’s okay if you don’t know where you fall on the Aromantic Spectrum

It’s okay if it takes time to realize that you are Aromantic or Arospec

Being Aromantic does not make you a bad person

Aromantic people who also identify as another orientation exist

Aromantic people are allowed to love their identity

Not every Aro experience is the same

Don’t assume that every Aromantic person is the same

You’re allowed to use Aromantic as an umbrella term

Whether you want to use the Split Attraction Model is your choice, but don’t look down on those who choose differently. Someone who only identifies as Aromantic is just as valid and important as someone who identifies as Aromantic and another orientation.

Regardless of where you fall on the Aro Spectrum, you have a right to celebrate this week (and in general!)

Aromantics and Arospecs are allowed to choose to not celebrate if they don’t want to

You’re allowed to love your Aro identity

You’re allowed to struggle with your Aro identity

You’re allowed to have good days and bad days

You’re allowed to talk about your experiences

Aromantic people and Arospec people are part of the LGBT+ community

Aromantic people deserve love in whatever form they want that love

Feel free to add on!

#mod elle #aromantic #aromantic spectrum awareness week #aromantic awareness week #aromantic week #aromantic positivity #aro positvity #aromanticism #actually arospec #actually aromantic #actually aro #aromantic tag #aro tag

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anoteofcalcium · 3 years

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It's Ace Awareness Week, so here's a sloppy, somewhat incomplete / indefinitely ongoing, and LONG list of my A-Spectrum OCs 🙌

《 AroAce 》

---TES----

• Ko'komo - Apothisexual, Meroromantic

• Moahnzi - Nebula AroAce

• Hops-to-It - AroAce [wlw]

• Masuki - Apothisexual, Recipromantic

• Gloooth Shadyshade - Cupiosexual, Nebularomantic

• Branche - AroAce

• Emuie Lussarc-Siliphant - Cupiosexual, Idemromantic [wlw]

• Rumrasare Adeus - Alico AroAce [Hetero]

• Lorlambug "Lamby" gra-Gruzgob - Asexual, Cupioromantic

• K'fugra - Apothi AroAce; Triple A

• Achynkratz - Asexual, Aegoromantic [wlw]

---PoE----

• Syvis - Lith AroAce

• Koāpei - Caedro AroAce

• Shalævar - Bellus AroAce

---Fallout---

• Vena Cole-Mordino Six - GrAysexual, Lithromantic

• Sylvester "Sly" Moon - Demi AroAce

---Vampire: The Masquerade----

• Angel Dimaanó Cassandra - Myrsexual, Bellusromantic

---Choice / IF Games----

• Béla "Geier" Geiß - Placiosexual, Caedromantic

• Adael Parkan - Cupio AroAce

• Clover Newman - Cupio AroAce; Triple A

• Harun Séafra - Demi AroAce

• Horea / Dancer - Recipro AroAce

• Ina Quinata - Demi AroAce

• Du Guo (杜国) - Nebula AroAce

• Súanach Nise - Triple A

• Remy - Nebula AroAce

• Seraph(iel) - Demi AroAce

• Samphire Winther - Gray AroAce

• Viisdamakkt "Curiosity" Qhevajook - Cupio AroAce

• Berenike "Birdie" Popov - AroAce Flux

• Cori Ander Salamander Van den Akker - Alico AroAce

• Mara - Alico AroAce

• Leonora of Rhivenia - Demi AroAce

• Ermæs Karga - Gray AroAce

• Përparim Duskguard - Alico AroAce

• Julius "Jules / Lulu" Pleasant - Demi AroAce

• Shashi Tscherbeia - Lith AroAce

• Wattana Robinson - AroAce

• Dino Dragon - Cupio AroAce

• Cleo Duciel - Alico AroAce

• Feardorcha Melling - Alico AroAce

• June "Junie" Storm - AroAce

• Ein Selencal - Demi AroAce

• Lucifer - Myr AroAce

• Vérène - Caed AroAce

---Original----

• The Cat - AroAce

• Renée Meilleur - Demi AroAce

• Rúna "Roux" Guđrúnadóttir - AroAce

• The Narrator - Apothisexual, Alicoromantic

• Amos Alswood - Demi AroAce

• Millicent "Mil(lie)" Dawkins - Acespike, Demiromantic

• Chana "Chantilly" Alswood - AroAce

• Kita Kaneko (金子北) - AroAce

《 Ace 》

---PoE----

• Parse - Asexual

• Iuxtapos ix Ensios - Demisexual

• Abdello Vescovi - Asexual

• Dascyl - Reciprosexual

• Pleat - Aegosexual

---Fallout----

• Eve-Maris "E-Mari" Barnett - Demisexual

---TES----

• Meryolrindol - Demisexual [mlm]

• Uungendor Forestscrub - Demisexual

• Paxutl-ki - Demisexual

• Helai - Reciprosexual

---Choice / IF Games----

• Uma Schovajsa - GrAysexual

• Persephone - Demisexual

• Hazel "-Nut" Winter-Bloom - Reciprosexual

• Ibb Enid Kokotan - Cupiosexual

• Inchaevel Sihnion - Asexual

• Artemiy Graf - Demisexual

• Neirin "Nye" Hier - Asexual

• Soini Franklin - Asexual

---Original----

• Dot "Dottie" Harriden - Asexual

• Jethro Quartermain - Demisexual

• Ormus - Asexual

• Layla Johnson - Asexual

• Courtney - Apothisexual

《 Aro 》

---TES----

• Alannalessia Lussarc - Bellusromantic [Poly]

• Maëltrice Siliphant - Aromantic

• Rubica Marbeau - GrAyromantic

• Phessa Marbeau - Quoiromantic

• Estnneiya - Frayromantic

• Nonwen Forestscrub - Aromantic

• Dar'Masha - Recipromantic [mlm]

---PoE----

• Ask - Quoiromantic [mlm]

• Lah - Demiromantic

---Fallout----

• Chitsa Cole - Aromantic

---Vampire: The Masquerade----

• Babylon / "Baby" - Bellusromantic

---Choice/IF Games----

• Metis Dragović - Demiromantic

• Abyssus, the Cleaver - Alicoromantic

• Nit Bramble - Recipromantic

• Limpet "Imp" Valshorn - GrAysexual

• Sparrow Ratwatte - Recipromantic

• Melina "Mel" Sweet - Quoiromantic

---Original----

• Desdemona "Dezi" Crowley - Lithromantic

• 刘艳丫 (Yànyā Liu) / Janja Liu - Caedromantic

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oneshortdamnfuse · 3 years

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It’s Aromantic Awareness Week, so I might as well talk about this. Aromantic people have a history of being viewed as inhuman. It’s difficult to measure what this looks like in the real world, because it’s so deeply ingrained in our society that people who are not aromantic may not realize it’s there. In contrast, fictional examples in the media are more concrete, readily available, and able to be analyzed from an aromantic viewpoint for a romantic audience.

What non-aromantic people need to realize is that aromantic people always have to negotiate their humanity within societies that view romantic love as a key (even biologically necessary) feature of human existence. As a result, many of us find ourselves along a spectrum between two choices: 1) fighting to be recognized as a human being and 2) rejecting humanity. Each aromantic is different and therefore each aromantic has a different opinion about this.

Voidpunk is a relatively new term coined in the aromantic community referring to a subculture of people who reject “humanity.” However, rejecting humanity is not a new concept at all. When I say “reject humanity,” I mean that aromantic people choose to associate themselves and identify with (non-human) things, concepts, ideas, etc. This may involve rejecting the very concept of being a human, but it may also mean embracing things that reach beyond humanity.

Where scary, unknown spaces may be uncomfortable to non-aromantic people (i.e. outer space, abysses, voids...), aromantic people may be drawn to these kinds of things because they don’t demand romantic performance. This is not to say that you have to be aromantic to enjoy the imagery of these spaces, but that the idea of being alone in an endless space with no reciprocation of romantic love indefinitely is scary to a lot of romantic people.

It is such a pervasive fear among romantic people, that we give romantic love hegemony over other forms of attachment instead of structuring society in a way that supports all people, across their entire lifespan, regardless of their capacity for love. This makes it harder for aromantic people to get any kind of support in every day life, and it can also make our futures feel very uncertain. This also makes the romantic world a scary place for us.

Capacity for romantic love also impacts how we evaluate marginalized people, as if the “saving grace” of someone’s difference is that they can still fall in love. If you’re disabled, neurodivergent, or chronically ill and you can still feel romantic love and form romantic partnerships, you deserve care and recognition. Many LGBTQ+ pride campaigns center romantic love as a point to say “We are human and we deserve support,” largely alienating aromantic members. etc.

...because we view romantic love as an essential human trait in society, we can appeal to others or “plead our case for humanity” based on this capacity. Except. Aromantic people can’t do that. So, become aliens in our own societies. For many, it’s harder to fight against inhuman stereotypes than it is to embrace them. Therefore, we do embrace them. There’s a reason aromantic people have, for a long time, embraced “inhuman” things in isolation of one another.

I’ve been calling myself a robot and empathizing with non-human and non-living creatures for longer than our community has had words for this phenomenon. I’m by far not the only one to do so. As much as I hate some of the stereotypes we are given (evil villains, aliens, robots, monsters, etc.) I also absolutely hate to see examples of “aromantic”-like beings becoming more “human” by falling in romantic love. It’s such a painful reminder of a “human trait” I can’t acquire.

As an outsider, you may think all of this is weird and bizarre. However, it’s you who needs to change your mindset to be more empathetic towards aromantic people. You need to realize that the hegemony of romantic love can be quite traumatizing to aromantic people, and that aromantic people aren’t just making aesthetic choices to be different but rather we are all in the process of coping with the trauma and grief of this to some extent or another.

#aromanticism #text post

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