“happy hellion healing”,
a photo series, 3/31/2024
I did these all by myself outside of a lovely little holiday gathering.
I am learning to love my skin again.
I held on to these for so long because I kept wanting it to be an intimate moment between myself and … myself… 😂 but I am ready to share.
and yeah .. I look pretty conventionally unconventionally …
and most days, I’m grateful for my mothers fine angles, full cheeks, and abundant lips. (despite her .. difficult attributes and personal struggle that spans through time and space to echo through me from birth to now …)
but deeply, I SEE A HAPPY HUMAN AGAIN. I see a healing human. I see a CHANGE EMBRACING powerhouse of fucking stamina and grace. I see a body excessively scarred but solid, strong, disciplined, determined, and resilient … and so so so so soft at the same time.
When I think about the methods they used to bring my little soul back to this body .. again and again… the shiver is molecular.
(supposedly)
a human being’s most inherit trait: the will to stay alive
I’ve betrayed this body by brutalizing it for every mistake, for every whisper of my mother or father’s voice, for every previous misstep, and every challenged choice, for every emotional explosion, for every mentally ill moment of grief and pain and sorrow and FEAR…x10000000 times over… and all it’s done … is keep me alive!
I see ME…CLEARLY for the first time … in a long time.
I know I have so much… wreckage from my past to wade through… but I look forward to it now. With these clearer eyes… maybe I can repurpose the absolute TAR into creativity.
👍🏽🤷🏽♀️🫀
i havta try.
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Gettin messy with charcoal
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another test with water soluble charcoal
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the demo i did for class :’)
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Oh by the way… I’ve been experimenting with charcoal and I am absolutely loving it… 🤍🖤💀🖤🤍
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