#casting evil spells and whatever the fuck

[mymreaderlibrary]

Do you think Durge likes gnolls because they too were made/ born from a corpse?

#listen like we don’t know the exacts of durge’s birth but conceptually what if just hear me out what if #either durge was born through the uncovering of bhaal’s corpse using some sort of unholy ritual to form a new life #or durge was made from a collection of bhaalspawn corpses #I assume durge was a child at some point due to certain references in game and their foster family #but I think that’d be extra creepy to see a child get formed out a bunch of bloody or rotten bodies #durge is so nastay but I’m willing to pull through being grossed out cause I like their story #besides I feel bhaal would need a way to have his bloodline be so strong so using his childrens corpses or even his own… that could work #and im not saying n3cr0 stuff btw im saying like some weird blood ritual type shit #casting evil spells and whatever the fuck #maybe bursting out of a corpse was what durge did too #thus gnolls are their besties cause like ‘omg me too!!!!!’ #gnolls #speaks #my writing #mw #bg3 #durge #the dark urge #dark urge #bg3 durge #gn durge

[warlordfelwinter]

i was going to write those proof of concept paragraphs for myself and instead i just started reading asmodeus' wiki page and the fact that he can like mentally minecraft baator whenever he wants is so funny. imagine being a devil and trying to walk to the store and asmodeus gets a whim and shuffles the ground under you like a rubiks cube

#anyway i love also reading this and finding evidence that celeste could work #i'm not even bending asmodeus That Much #maybe a little #for my own enjoyment #but his reaction to what happened to glasya's mom and the fact that he's a canonically good dad says something i think #he can be surprised though he pretends otherwise #he's funny #yes yes he's evil whatever #but i just love the deities in dnd bc they're just fucked up powerful people #fully rounded personalities and flaws but also they can cast any spell whenever they want #personal #oc: celeste

[lilyaceofdiamonds]

Brain can you please get the fuck over being yelled at — no, scolded — in a d&d game. I would like to think about anything else today than this endless loop of Intense Indescribable Emotions thanks.

#my ramblings #this is so fucking dumb #i’m very bitter about it #because i was literally just asking if it was possible to step over our unconcious party member who got crit-one-shot basically #after opening the door to a room (through her familiar thing which i don’t really get but whatever pathfinder is weird) #and upon asking if i could step over her body the player goes WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT #YOU JUST HEARD MY CHARACTER SHOUT OUT THAT THE THING WAS MADE FROM EVIL MAGIC AND THEN SHE DROPPED DEAD #bitch you’re fucking dead i didn’t ask you #but fine i won’t fucking do anything let someone else go #maybe so i can see into the fucking room to cast some magic at it? (not that my heavy-necro spells do shit against a undead flesh creature) #i was literally useless for the entire fight but am slightly mollified by being the only one left alive after it died and exploded #and knocked everyone else out (who then wussed out and all used heroic recovery to stabalize upon suggestion from her) #so my necro sorcerer is just surrounded by stablized unconscious bodies

[thelikesoffinn]

Honestly, Solomon is the type of guy that makes me wanna go full social worker on is arse. Like, what the ever shitting fuck is his damage.

Why the fuck does he hate his nephew this much? Sebastian is trying everything to save his sister and all Solomon does is swoop in and go "ROOOAAAARRR! NOOOOO!" *angrily destroys whatever cure the boy has found*.

Like.

Why.

Just let the kid try, for fucks sake. It's how he copes. It's part of the grieving process. The boy is fifteen and may be about to lose his sister after he already lost his parents. Give him a break.

And also, Anne was clearly excited about that cure. So why bother with throwing a fit? What could possibly go wrong? She's in debilitating pain already, it's hardly going to get worse.

And, on top of that: Mr. Super-Auror is awfully quick to abandon Sebastian the second it gets convenient. I'm not sure about you, but, as a caregiver, when I see my charge drift, I try to intervene. Try to catch him and find a reason why this is happening.

Because we are well aware that Sebastian isn't evil. He's desperate. That's a difference. And anyone with more than three braincells should be able to notice that. So when Solomon sees him cast that damn spell, he should have grabbed that boy, given him a stern shake - maybe a good slap to shock that old system - and a fucking hug to try and reel him back into the light. He needed fucking real talk and stability. Stability! But he just throws him away, which leaves Sebastain homeless and quasi orphaned. Wtf.

And then in that final show down he gets hit by one fucking basic cast that he literally provoked out of that desperate fifteen year old nephew of his and he thinks the logical next step is "fire tornado". On both Sebastian AND MC. For some reason.

And while literally trying to fry those two fifteen year old dumbarses alive, he yells shit like "You're no friend of my nephew!" and "It's your fault he went down that path!" to MC which is like bitch wtf. He was like that when we got here, we just didn't toss him aside like apparently everyone else did.

And that bastard is one to talk, pointing fingers while actively trying to turn his nephew and his nephews pal into two piles of Ash.

That guy is so deranged, it's not even funny.

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #anne sallow #solomon sallow

[aesethewitch]

Personal Protection: Surviving the Holidays

I'm of the opinion that far too many people around this time of year are fucking around, and it's high time they get to the finding out part. With major holidays right around the corner, many of us will be facing relatives we'd rather not see, parties we'd rather not go to, and conversations we'd rather avoid or exit as soon as possible. Political spats, unwanted opinions, snide remarks -- I believe that what you give out, you ought to receive back.

So, obviously, let's do some magic about it.

There are three main components to my method:

The Bubble;

The Quills; and

The Shake

The Bubble

Exactly what it sounds like, "the bubble" is the outermost layer of protection around you. It's the barrier between you and the unpleasantness you're trying to keep out.

The bubble can be one item carried or worn (such as a hat, crystal, or charm), or it can be multiple. I usually spring for two items, one to absorb/recycle and one to bounce/return to sender.

Absorb:

I've got a relative who is, at their essence, a fucking downer. That would be fine if not for the fact that if they're having a bad time or are mildly uncomfortable, it's about to be everyone's problem. This kind of negativity is something to absorb, not bounce. Sending it back would only double their misery, and that's no good for anyone.

So, instead, I have a special charm that I make for occasions when I know they're going to be around. It consists of a little piece of sponge that's sat in salt for a while atop a transformative sigil. The sponge, once fully charged and ready, will absorb the negative energy and recycle it into more positive feelings.

This means that their negativity won't impact me at all, and I actively improve the atmosphere. Their bad attitude can't do anything if everyone around us is only getting good vibes. The charm is powered by the exchange of negative to positive energy, so it requires no charging. However, it's smart to discard the sponge once it's done its job.

Bounce:

But sometimes, somebody's got to face real consequences. There are some things I don't want to deal with at all. Like gross political opinions from my conservative, religious family members. Or questions about having children.

The idea of the bounce is to reflect things before they reach me. It's a sort of glamor spell that projects an aura of "don't bother." It essentially lets me be passed over for conversations I want to leave or avoid entirely by bouncing attention away from me.

Negative energy, bad vibes, whatever you want to call it -- the goal is to return it to where it's coming from. Someone who's being an asshole will feel like an asshole. If it works right, they'll stop talking altogether because they're so irritated with what they're saying. I've had aggressive, vocal relatives go completely silent because they were receiving their own rancid energy back to themselves instead of the attention they were hoping for.

For me, this spell takes the form of a charm on my keys. It's a form of an evil eye charm -- not the blue-eyed stare you most likely think of, but another symbol meant to distract attention from me to it. It's a little pewter casting of the fig sign, an old and obscene gesture. It works on malevolent spirits best, but it does a great job of repelling unfortunate people, too. It bounces their nonsense back to themselves, often causing confusion, which forces them to reconsider what they're saying.

Again, this lives on my keys, which live in a key bowl when they're not clipped to my pocket or belt loop. The key bowl has a multi-purpose charging setup for the keys, my wallet, and other assorted charms I might wear when I go out.

The Quills

Sometimes, things get past our main line of defenses. That's fine, it happens. But under these circumstances, it happens because someone has deliberately crossed a line. So now, they get the quills.

When I say "the quills," you should be picturing something like a porcupine. Adorable, yes, but fuck with it at your own risk. Those quills aren't just for show, and neither should yours be. This is your second line of defense, and it's where we turn to offense.

Accordingly, the quills aren't passive spells like the bubble. These require conscious activation and direction to give you maximum control over their output. You can make your quills passive, but I often find that baneful workings work best when you're specifically choosing to use them.

Yes, baneful, and let me be perfectly clear: The goal is to harm whoever's crossed the line. You're not just returning to sender. You're catching what they've thrown at you, lighting it on fire, and pitching it back at full force.

To that end, there are two approaches I typically take (and are you sensing a pattern? I like to do things in twos). One spell to sharpen the tongue and give as good as I've gotten, and one to induce the smallest of lingering curses on the target.

Sharpen

The whole point of the quills is to make yourself an inconvenient, difficult target. Part of being difficult to swallow is not going down easily. Often, the answer is to avoid the conversation or problem altogether, but it isn't always possible. Or satisfying.

Sometimes, you gotta take a bitch down.

For me, this charm needs to do two things. It should boost my confidence in standing my ground and add some oomph to my argument. I have a pin with a particular design on it charmed for this purpose. The needle operates as the quill for stabbing (the oomph), and the design provides the confidence. Anointed with my Fuck Off Oil and laid in a dish of salt, garlic, and red chili flakes, the pin becomes extra spicy and effective.

This one has to be recharged each time it's used. It always lives on the same jacket, but I'll anoint it regularly to keep it fresh. If I use the charm on someone, I'll take the pin off at the end of the night and set it in the spicy salt mixture.

Linger

By far one of the most effective methods for reducing nonsense from unpleasant people I interact with regularly is lingering consequences. When someone associates bad luck with interacting with you, even on a subconscious level, they tend to avoid you.

Consider this the "slow poison" on the quills. The goal isn't to ruin their life by any means (although, I suppose you could...). It's just to make yourself unpalatable on an instinctive level. Think of how poisonous frogs are brightly colored to display that they're, you know, deadly. That's what we're doing here.

I prefer to use something kind of dangerous. Something you can hold onto and point with is best, in my experience. I've used a broken piece of glass, a rusty nail or screw, and various thorns. Right now, I'm using one half of a rusty pair of old cooking shears. The handle broke, but the blades are still sharp as hell. Waste not, and all that.

Anoint whatever the sharp, dangerous thing is in an oil infused with herbs and spices of your choice (again, the Fuck Off Oil is a good example). Or, if you prefer, coat it in something like hot sauce, urine, rust, or other corrosive and unpleasant things. Once prepared, stow it in your bag. Or your glove box, if you drive, since this makes a nice on-the-go curse to cast at shitty drivers.

You don't need to pull it out for it to work, but if you can get to a safe, secluded space (like a bathroom), it can help you focus. When you're creating it, you should set up an activation word, phrase, or motion. I prefer a motion -- something like tapping wherever the object is, a swirling movement with my hand, and then pointing at the target.

The curse you place is up to you. I tend to go for something like feeling nauseous or getting a headache. The spell should draw a connection between them being nasty to you and the unpleasant feeling, whether overt or subconscious. They'll be more cautious and reluctant to be a dick to you afterwards.

The Shake

Like a dog. Get that shit off of yourself.

No matter how thorough you are, there are always gaps and particularly stubborn people getting into them. Something they say just sticks to you like a burr, sharp and irritating. Or depressing, maybe.

The idea behind the shake is literal. You're forcibly removing the heavy weight or annoying itch someone else has placed on you. The shake isn't necessarily an item like with the bubble and quills. It can be, but it doesn't have to be.

Essentially, the steps to the shake are:

Identify what feels bad

Shake that shit

Resume normal activities

Maybe it's the neurodivergent in me, but physical movement is incredibly soothing. Self-regulation tactics are essential for survival. Transforming that into a little spell ritual at the same time is just two birds with one stone.

When things get overwhelming or I can feel my bubble failing to keep everything out at once (such as if a fight breaks out or someone decides to go in depth about one of my triggers), I remove myself from the situation. That's the first step. Retreat to a safe place, whether that's outside, in my car, in the bathroom, or elsewhere that's quiet. The second step is to figure out where in my body the anxiety or bad feeling is sitting. Often, it's in my shoulders and hands, but sometimes it's elsewhere.

Step three is to fucking shake. Shake those hands, roll my shoulders, jump up and down. Whatever it takes. As I do, I'm forcibly dislodging everything unpleasant out of myself and into the open air. And because I've got the negativity-absorbing bubble, it'll take the bad feeling and repurpose it into something more positive. Then, once I'm better, I can go back.

Again, you don't need an object for this, but you can certainly create one. Options would be comforting items, fidget toys, or even something like a joint. Sometimes, you just gotta blow smoke about it. You know?

Fun fact, though: You could also carry a vessel to contain the Bad Feelings for later use instead of letting your bubble absorb them. This comes in handy for people who are particularly abusive... as an example of what you want them to experience under the force of a more involved cursing.

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#aese speaks #witchcraft #witchblr #practical magic #practical witchcraft #personal protection #protection magic #return to sender #energy cleansing #witchcraft 101 #witchy tips #beginner witch #spells #spell ideas

[princessbrunette]

alright. i know. i literally gave you an anakin prompt already. but☝️ ..i’m here with another one.

modern!anakin running one of those tumblr porn blogs to talk about his nasty little fantasies. (not sure you remember this, but i wrote him posting “i like doing evil things to pretty girls.” while ago as an example of that behavior) and you happen to follow him. maybe you interact with him because you’re intrigued by his gross language and you reach out (maybe you swap some pics, and agree to meet). not sure how you’d wanna play it but ! i thought you’d wanna know about it

i think what’s so sexy about him doing this is he’s like… oddly nonchalant about it? he’ll mutual you, but never come onto you in a sexual or creepy way bc he’s a people pleaser and cares too much about people thinking he’s a weirdo. instead he just sends you memes relating to something you posted about one time just to show he listens, you know?

and like duh, he wants to fuck you, he’s a guy with a dick. but it’s better just to befriend you first, right? doesn’t wanna be a douche about it.

but then the two of you start talking properly outside of just memes, and calling, and flirting, and oh god — you’re one of those people. falling for someone online. someone who wouldn’t care that much to fly out to see you right? right?

he ends up in your city, and suddenly you’re picking him up from the airport ?? and you’re thinking jesus christ, yeah i’ve seen pictures of him and he’s very good looking but that’s gotta be… altered in some way right? there’s no way someone that fine runs a tumblr blog that depraved… and soon all 6ft- what, 4? of him is walking towards you in the airport, smiling so friendly and opening his sculpted arms for a hug and you’re just ????? fuck my life ??????

so the two of you go out to a bar, and literally one glass of wine in each and you’re giving him the big doe fuck me eyes, talking so much you don’t even think to get a second drink, the chemistry buzzing through your bones and up your skirt. he didn’t think he’d be getting lucky this fast, jesus — he booked to be here for like 2 weeks so he can really milk it out of you. poor thing was just too needy for it.

you’re blabbering how you’ve never done this before, having some guy fly out and fucking him on the first night when you leave the bar arm in arm, headed straight for his hotel. you think he might crumble under the pressure, again — who runs a blog that depraved and actually knows how to do all the stuff they talk about? but he’s so calm, collected, chuckling at your eagerness, reiterating one million times that there doesn’t ’have to’ be anything. not to feel pressured to do anything just because he flew out. great, so he’s a good guy too. you’re surprised your arousal wasn’t running down your legs like a faucet.

he knows his stuff, and it shows back in the hotel room, bringing you a glass of water even though you had one glass, telling you to drink it, forcing every form of consent out of you because he needs to know you want this like he does. even so, so much kissing once you start — giving you time to back out, giving you time to get so drooly and desperate you’re humping his lap and nearly crying.

anakin soothes you. “what do you want baby? flew out here just to see this pretty face, lemme give you what you want sweet girl just gotta tell me.” muttering it against your lips like he’s casting a spell.

“wanna — wanna do all the stuff you wrote about. thought about it every night.” you mewl, your tits heaving against his strong chest. there’s that low chuckle again, pretty smile lines on his cheeks you can’t help but kiss.

“mm, i remember a few you liked a lot. what was that one about having you on my lap, dick all in your guts, just rubbing that pretty clit ‘til you cream all over it. something like that, right baby?” his hands are massaging your hips and god — yes, yes yes whatever you say, nodding so hard your head might come off.

safe to say he keeps his word, showing you everything he knows.

#hanasnx #modern!anakin prompt #modern!anakin #modern!anakin smut

[inbarfink]

Okay, the thing is that I’ve seen some people speculate about the Winter King’s backstory and past assuming, like, that he’s always kinda been Like That. Like, that this version of Simon Petrikov has always been an evil heartless bastard or at least just a little less caring and loving than Mainworld Simon and that’s what led him down the path of the Winter King. 

But speaking personally… I think this is a less compelling story as it relates to Simon’s character arc. I think it’s a lot more interesting if the Winter King was indeed ‘once just like’ Mainverse Simon.

That he used to be that selfless, dedicated and loving man - and he still managed to stoop this low. I mean, well, Simon seems to have come to the conclusion that this version of him was just ‘messed up’

and that was mostly part of a trend of him in these last two episodes just kinda going

You know, like, I don’t think that the lesson he should’ve learned from his adventures in Winterworld is just “wow, that one specific alternative version of me sure does suck!”. Farmworld, via its version of Finn, was a reminder for Simon of just how much of a traumatic experience the Curse of the Magic Crown is. Winterworld should’ve reminded him of the torment and indignity he was trapped in and how often he was a danger to himself and others 

And of the truly fucked-up and terrible things he was capable of doing due to that torment and desperation of the Curse.

The Winter King is like a Whole New Exciting Way for Simon to lose his identity due to the Magic Crown, preserving his mind and memory by destroying the love and dedication and care that the Magic Crown never quite managed to fully burn away - his actual ‘immutable essence’. And this doesn’t work if the Winter King was always just Intrinsically a significantly different and worse person than Mainworld Simon, y’know?

And remember, we know the Winter King was in full on Ice King mode when he ‘conquered the crown’ (AKA cast that terrible spell to condemn Princess Bubblegum to the same terrible fate he’s been suffering). 

And Mainverse Ice King was absolutely capable of trying to perform some fucked-up mind-altering spells of his own. 

The only thing is that he was never quite that successful.

The main thing I am still unsure of with my favored reading/interpretation of how Winterworld Simon became the Winter King is…. There’s like, two different mutually-exclusive readings of what happened after the Curse was cast on Peebles and Simon regained his lucidity that are both very appealing to me from a thematic perspective. And I’m really not sure which one I like best.

Because the real issue was never ‘would Ice King be willing to cast such a horrible immoral spell?’, especially as one could easily imagine that whatever lucidity would allow Ice King to understand how his Crown is harming him and devise such a complicated spell would not necessarily extend to enough lucidity to fully understand the consequences of his actions. The issue is Winterworld Simon Petrikov, having regained his clarity of mind, choosing to maintain this spell for a hundred years. There's a reason why that's the thing Mainverse Simon fixated on when he figured out what's going on.

My first thought (and that’s something I went into more detail in a previous post) was this: Ice King’s madness was never wholly separated from Simon’s personality. Like, yeah, it was the Crown’s Magic that drove him so Mad and Sad - but it was also the trauma of losing Betty and surviving through the Mushroom War and feeling forced to abandon his beloved Marceline. 

And that Madness was based on Simon’s psyche. Ice King’s loneliness and romantic obsession and Princess-nappings are all based on how much he loves and misses Betty

And now, Princess Bubblegum has been forced into a mirrored recreation of them. 

The Candy Queen isn’t suffering from just the Magic Crown’s madness in general - but specifically from how it was shaped by Simon’s heart. And since you can’t actually separate this manifestation of Ice King’s Madness from Simon’s love for Betty - the Winter King ridding himself of one also rid himself of the other. 

And since so much of Ice King’s Madness was interwoven into Simon’s psyche and especially his love and his kindness - throwing away all of this Madness into someone else also decimated these aspects of his personality. Princess Bubblegum already paid the ultimate price for Winterworld Simon’s sanity - but in a way he also paid a grave cost as well; becoming an unrecognizably different person he would previously find morally disgusting - even morso than Ice King.

Because the lines between Simon Petrikov and Ice King are always going to be a bit blurry and messy, and because Simon can’t probably live a life totally free of his Madness and Sadness but he’s gonna have to accept it for an actual mostly happy and sane life as someone who is recognizably Simon Petrikov. 

Buuuut… that still basically means that casting of that Curse just kinda irrevocably transformed him into a Heartless Bastard. And that’s maybe not as compelling as if this change from kind and dorky Simon Petrikov into Evil Brian David Gilbert was done of his own free will

Hundreds of years of the Magic Crown eating away at his sanity and memories couldn’t truly destroy Simon Petrikov’s ‘immutable essence’. He still missed Betty more than anything even as this longing was twisted into something horrible, and still loved Marceline like a daughter even if he didn’t understand it. The one thing that could truly destroy this love that is so core to Simon’s being is him choosing to become selfish and cruel and uncaring. 

And since he was in Full Ice King Mode when he cast the spell… I dunno if I can actually call it a fully-conscious act of cruelty. Deeply fucked up? Yes. But it’s hard to say how much Winterworld Ice King actually understood what he was doing. And while I think it’s much more emotionally compelling if the Winter King started from the same place as our beloved Mainworld Simon. The only difference can’t just be the pure luck that Mainworld Ice King was just never lucid or focused enough to successfully cast a spell that would transform him into an equally terrible person. 

For this angle to work, this decision to continue doing the bad thing has to come from a lucid Simon who is still kinda recognizably Simon and still chose to continue perpetuating the Curse Ice King cast on Princess Bubblegum.

This might seem unthinkable, especially considering how obviously disgusted Mainworld Simon was at the Winter King’s actions. But you have to consider just how much Winterworld Simon would be desperate to not be Ice King again, Mainworld Simon was once willing to die then live the rest of eternity as IK. The fact that he’s so willing to throw away his sanity again now is so worrying because it shows just how badly he’s being doing - because at first, Simon was fighting so badly to avoid diving back into this pit of madness. And that Spell must've seen like the only chance he was gonna get.

And, yes, Simon Petrikov is a character full of kindness and love and selflessness - but that never meant he was the sort of Cinnamon Roll incapable of ever hurting anymore and especially not when he’s desperate or lashing out. That’s kinda the fallacy Simon himself fell into when he had that total identity crisis in the second episode. He just couldn’t find a way to join his previous identity as the patient and fatherly man who took care of Marceline 

With the fact he made a little girl cry. 

But yes, both we the audience and Simon himself have to face the fact that despite possessing such strong fatherly instinct and a desire to help children - Simon can also lash out in his trauma in a very cruel manner that goes against all of his own values.

And by the end of the fourth episode, he was tempted to let himself die - even though that will also utterly destroy a whole universe of sapient beings living in his head. It was brief thanks to Fionna knocking some sense into him and obviously the Literal Suicidal Depression involved was also seriously clouding his judgement. But that is still Simon nearly dooming a whole realm of other people  because he was feeling absolutely desperate.

Not to mention him kidnapping someone and forcing him into a terrible experiment for the sake of trying to summon GOLBetty.

A desperate attempt to reconnect with his lost love (and in a way, a missing part of his identity as Betty Grof’s other half). Which I mean, yeah, ‘it’s just Choose Goose’, but also last time GOLB was summoned it nearly fucked up all of Ooo and the only thing GOLBetty could do about that is get herself as far away from Simon as she can. And now Simon is gonna try and summon his Eldritch GF again in the middle of a major population center.  

And of course, Winterworld Simon and Mainworld Simon are never going to be fully exactly the same person because ‘Simon Petrikov’ is not some immutable unchanging concept and we know that they’ve had different experiences. It was really so sweet to see Mainverse Simon pay forwards the kindness he’s gotten from his loved ones when he was stuck as the Ice King towards the Candy Queen

But it also reminded me that the Winter King himself never got that sort of kindness and grace in the first place. The Curse was cast one hundred years ago. Back then, Marceline was still avoiding him because she couldn’t stand to see what he had become, Finn and Jake were not his friends on account of neither of them being born yet and… they also directly or indirectly helped him get his entire rest circle of friends.

So Mainworld Simon emerged from an Ice King who was not absolutely free from misery and loneliness… but has also experienced happiness and friends both from people who just loved him for who he was at the moment 

And grace and kindness from those concerned for his condition and honestly doing their best to make sure he’s doing his best in his current state and trying to bring out whatever of Simon was left in him. 

While Winterworld Simon emerged from Ice King at his worst and his most miserable. 

And while the Winter King’s callousness about Betty would kinda always be a worrying testament to how much Simonness he has lost - it is extra disturbing for the viewers and Mainworld Simon because they have seen Betty sacrifice her entire being for his sake. That would just reinforce his own love and dedication to her in his mind… not always in the healthiest of ways.

But the Winter King has experienced nothing of that sort. He was not freed in a self-sacrifice fueled by love that literally defied time itself. Wintdrworld Simon only regained his lucidity because of a deeply fucked up and selfish action he has taken as the Ice King. And as far as he knew, that was his only choice except death or the eternal despair of being the Ice King.

And so maybe Winterworld Simon managed to convince himself that he can stay like this for just one day. Just one day of enjoying both lucidity and Magic and then he’s going to undo it because obviously he knows that it’s terrible what the Ice King did! I mean, yeah, Princess Bubblegum and the rest of the Candy Kingdom are suffering but they’re also going to suffer when the Ice King comes back so it’s really a lateral move for them. For just one day!

And then by the next day, Winterworld Simon finds one more excuse why he can wait until tomorrow to bring everything back to normal. And day by day it becomes just a little bit easier to justify perpetuating something so terrible. Day by day he gives up a little bit more of his morals and his selflessness and his love. Until he finally finds out that he just doesn’t care anymore about being a selfish heartless bastard.

The same way the Magic Crown took his sanity and identity gradually - he’s now so desperate to cling to them that he chose to tear away at what was once the core most parts of himself

Until he became just as unrecognizable.

Both of these ideas are really compelling to me but they’re also kinda opposite. Maybe there’s a way to balance them both in a way that preserves what makes them so interesting for Simon’s character in the first place??

#adventure time #atimers #fionna and cake #fionna & cake #at #at spoilers #fac #fac spoilers #f&c #f&c spoilers #adventure time fionna and cake #adventure time spoilers #adventure time simon #fionna and cake spoilers #fionna and cake series #fionna and cake simon #fionna and cake show #the winter king #simon petrikov #simon adventure time #winter king

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-read: "Julith et Jahash" - Part 2

Ohhh this will take me 20 years to get through due to me not knowing French. Pain.

He doesn't want to go...

There is a test called Kramdam. People, — young huppermages, — are selected randomly for it, and it is an honor, seemingly. But I do wonder what it entails.

(I also wonder if,,, if Joris, perhaps, had to go through whatever it is. God I can't wait to know more.)

He can hardly cast a single spell...? I love you, Jahash. I love you a lot.

"I'M A HUPPERNOBODY" and i'm going to die. If I write more fics about Joris's hupperangst, I am going to make him huppersay that.

The Jurgens have had 3-4 silly, silly generations of hupperangst.

I don't believe you. #BontaHatersGang #TheirUn-BeautifulNation

All guards are bastards btw. Including Keke, considering he used to be one.

:(

THEY SEND HUPPERMAGE KIDS TO DIE AND ADVISE THEM TO TELL GOODBYE TO THEIR LOVED ONES?!?!?!??!?!

Imagine Kerubim and Joris in this situation. Haha. Haha. Haha. Haha. :))))))

ha.

"I fucking hate Bonta AND I hate the huppermage academy and temple AND I hate——" (c) things both me, and 15-16yo Joris Jurgen would say.

This comic is making me so emotional and by that I mean I would [DATA EXPUNGED] the castle of Bonta with explosive devices.

"Your father was a [ableist slur ableist slur] and you look like an [ableist slur ableist slur] and I hate you both. Especially you, even though I've known you for 3 minutes. But you CAN'T return home. We are sending you to huppermage hunger games and I really hope you die there. KILL YOURSELF."

I am never going to take the huppermage academy seriously again after this. They're genuinely so fucking unspeakably cringe and evil.

For all the "I am going to commit vehicular manslaughter on everyone in the huppermage academy (to avenge the babygirls (the entire Jurgen family))", I do wanna point out that it's cool, how the comic transitions from full colour style to manga, after Jahash drinks the recall potion.

#ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #joris jurgen #julith-et-jahash #I will keep tagging joris for my blog's organisation sake. I think the fact that huppermages are this evil is useful info to know #for all joris fans. he must have been so miserable in this environment. no wonder he only fights using a log. #no wonder he shapes waven's bonta into a militaristic dictatorship (to make things better and Change Society. yaaay...)

[blububblgum]

Arya stark: bloodhunter, order of the ghostslayer.

Once again, reasoning in incredible detail under the cut

Ok for arya, i once again wanted to subvert obvious expectations (and play more in the dnd space) so instead of the rogue subclass (with either thief or assassin as her subclass) i settled on bloodhunter for her class. First, to be clear on why not rogue; its not really that different from how she is in the actual world of asoiaf, and if i'm committing to an au then i might as well branch out (the same reasons stand for why not fighter). Bloodhunter is a class that was created by matthew mercer for campaign 2 of critical role, and it is deeply interesting to me (as well as being suited to arya)

Bloodhunters are a martial class that is based around the use of blood magic in order to destroy evils in the world, while resisting giving into the dangerous magic they work with. The subclass that i chose for arya is Ghostslayer, which is "the oldest of the bloodhunter orders" and they focus on everything around death, with an obsession with ridding the world of the undead. While the House of Black and White is not like, focused on ridding the world of undead, it does align well with how she could have come into these powers/fighting style. Beyond the House of Black and White, arya herself has so many personal vendettas that work with the motivations of ghostslayers (especially when you think of the white walkers, though i know she doesn't know about them).

Though ghostslayer (and bloodhunter really) have some magic, it doesn't really give the specific power of changing appearance, and that is kinda crucial to what arya learns in the House of Black and White. So!! In order to make this work, i think dnd arya is not a human (or at least, not a human anymore). Instead she is a shifter, which is descended from a were-creature. The shifter option that suits arya best is swiftstride (which isn't the one that is recommended for werewolves but whatever), since it gives extra movement/increased speed, and matches how arya fights. However, arya still can't change her faces, so this is where feats come in. The Eldritch initiate feat allows one invocation (something that warlocks get as part of their deal) and though arya is definitely not a warlock (though i did think about hexblade for her, i just couldn't figure out what her patron would be), the Mask of many faces invocation allows the character to cast disguise self at will, which works as a dnd take on changing faces. If she were higher level then Master of myriad forms makes more sense (it gives the spell alter self at will, which actually changes the form of the caster, whereas disguise self   is an illusion spell) but i decided to plan her at about 8th level, so whatever lol.

Some bonus thoughts (i know i have already rambled a lot oopsies); her fighting style is either duelling or two-weapon fighting, depending on whether she uses exclusively needle or if she also fights with a dagger. Her crimson rite damage would be cold, as a little nod to her stark side. For her blood maledicts (bonuses that are useful in fighting) i decided on the Blood curse of the Eyeless which lets her temp blind people (fun!) and Blood curse of Binding which reduces peoples speed to zero for a bit (good for just fucking sprinting away). Since i'm thinking of her as 8th level, she can have another feat (which is more interesting than an ability score improvement) and i decided on magic initiate (wizard, since its intelligence based), which gives 2 cantrips (spells that don't require spell slots) and 1 first level spell. For the two cantrips, mage hand and booming blade would give some helpful bonuses to her both in and out of combat. For the one spell, i thought find familiar would be fun! Find familiar doesn't have wolf, but if you just  use cat stats for wolf then that's fine, find familiar is cool cause the caster can look through the eyes of the familiar when they are in range, and they can be summoned in a different form when it is recast. Lastly, i think her stats (highest to lowest) are: dexterity, intelligence, constitution, wisdom, strength, charisma.

Again, if you read all this, thank you!!!! I hope it made sense and lmk ur thoughts.

#my art #illustration #fanart #digital fanart #digital art #asoif fanart #arya stark #arya fanart #dnd art #dnd 5e #bloodhunter #dnd character #asoiaf fashion #house stark

[britcision]

Hey, you know what turned out to be super a lot of fun? Writing Mithrun from other peoples’ perspectives.

You know what else is a huge amount of fun? Badass evil ladies 👀 I fucking love Cithis she’s the worst

Will be posting this and other lil ficlets over on AO3! Link is at the bottom, I’m just… drastically failing at “short” so far 😅

(I just have a lot of feelings okay?)

Warnings: some mild dehumanization, because this is Cithis’ POV, and Cithis doesn’t think of others as people

Summary: Dramatic gestures are all well and good, but four in the morning is another matter entirely. Mithrun’s used to one particular person tending to his needs; unfortunately, Cithis values her sleep.

Maybe not quite as much as a chance to finally mess with her captain though. Budding Kabumisu

—————————

After Dinner Mints - Afterthoughts

“Cithis.”

Brows furrowing in irritation, Cithis rolled over, tugging the absolutely tragic excuse for a blanket that the Canaries allowed around her tighter and burrowed in.

“Cithis.”

Her name, again, and she considered folding the pillow over her ears, still hazy with sleep.

“Cithis.”

She was going to kill Fleki. Maybe make Lycion do it. Or Otta, or anyone really, honestly, she just wanted to sleep…

“Cithis.”

But the captain would just stand there all night, saying her name in that damn monotone. Probably had been for a while, before it woke her up. Honestly, she counted herself lucky when he respected her request not to just shake her.

It was inconsiderate, honestly. He’d have to have passed all three of the others to reach her, and casting spells always woke her up. It ruined her chances of getting back to sleep, where as Fleki could pop off any number of minor spells and, as Cithis was painfully aware, be snoring again in moments.

“Cithis.”

Yes, this was Fleki’s fault. And Cithis’s rest would be avenged.

Stifling a sigh, she reached for her bells and rolled over, not surprised to see the captain’s shadowy figure looming over her cot. The soft smile came to her lips without effort; that part had always been easy.

“Do you need another sleeping spell, Captain? Lie down now,” she only half asked, the chant already spilling out before her.

Honestly, she didn’t care if he dropped where he stood. So long as he didn’t fall on her.

“No.”

The magic died before it could form, and Cithis bit back a sharp hiss of irritation.

She hated that limitation, the shackle around her power that put her at the beck and call of these pathetic little wardens. The ones not loved enough by their wealthy and powerful families to keep them from a life of pain and drudgery.

And they still dared think they were better than her. When they hadn’t even earned their place.

Resigning herself to whatever the hell the captain wanted now, she forced herself to sit up, and give him her best “obedient servant” smile. Well, the best she could manage at this ungodly hour.

It wasn’t like the captain cared.

“What, then, Captain?” She asked, taking the time to actually look at him.

He looked… her brows dipped down again, frown crumpling the smile almost at once.

He looked… bad. Captain Mithrun usually did, especially on the days where she or Lycion couldn’t be bothered to make him presentable. But even dishevelled, exhausted, covered in blood, she’d never seen him look like this. It set her on edge.

And it gradually dawned on her that even though by his standards Mithrun was practically well dressed in a sleeping tunic and absolutely no filth… he looked worried.

She’d never seen him worry before.

The petulant pouting, that was nothing new, and frankly quite adorable. Annoyed, bored, satisfied, apathetic, she’d seen a lot on what most insisted was a blank face because they couldn’t be bothered to actually look.

But never this, uncertainty, worry, perhaps even fear writ large on his features and in the twisting of the tunic between his hands.

That couldn’t possibly bode well for her.

Setting her legs off the side of the cot to make a space, she pointed to it firmly, letting a little more command slip into her tone. A soft voice often worked for Mithrun, but when he was recalcitrant sometimes he needed authority.

“Sit.”

He folded immediately, dropping gracelessly to sit beside her on the creaky little cot. He didn’t seem to be injured at least, although he rarely bothered acknowledging it if he was. Better to be sure.

“Do you need a healing spell?” She asked, not bothering to prepare the magic this time. If he did, he could wait. If he didn’t, the less she had to deal with the damn leash the better.

The Captain shook his head, hesitated, and then… sunk in on himself.

Also not good.

Reaching out, Cithis gripped his chin firmly and turned his head to face her.

He looked lost, and while he was usually unfocused if they weren’t on a mission, it was never with this much vulnerability. And while she’d once thought she’d like to see that from him, see him actually begin to care about something, it was unsettling.

Not least because she couldn’t imagine what had caused it.

Humming a short note, she released him and nodded.

“Tell me what you need, Captain,” she urged him gently.

Captain Mithrun opened his mouth. Closed it again. Just as she was beginning to wonder if she’d need to enchant him just to get a fucking answer, he sucked in a sharp breath and spoke.

“I don’t feel anything.”

Taking a breath, Cithis consciously smoothed her frown away this time. Impatience had never moved the captain before, except to raise his own. And she just plain didn’t have the patience to deal with that right now.

“And that’s a problem?” It had never been before, so she was expecting maybe a sharp look, and then some more information.

She wasn’t expecting him to turn to her, his eye wide and empty.

“Yes. I…” he hesitated, looking out past her and to the rest of the tent. Cithis waited about as patiently as she felt capable of for him to find the thought.

Or give up and let her knock him out again.

“I don’t… you said there would be new desires. But there haven’t been in forty years. It takes… so much to keep moving. To eat, to sleep, and I don’t feel anything. I don’t even want to. I don’t even want to lie down and die. There’s just nothing.” He sounded almost calm, with the same lack of inflection, except… he actually sounded tired.

Another new not-improvement.

Cithis was surprised to find she was actually almost sad. In as much as she felt anything for anyone, she rather liked the captain.

He was certainly the best warden she’d ever had, even if she couldn’t just twist him to her needs and leave. Most of the spoiled rich brats the Canaries were saddled with made her sick; born into money and privilege, half of them having the first cold meal of their lives with the force.

Mithrun was… well, at the very least always entertaining, even if it wasn’t the kind of entertainment she preferred. You couldn’t humiliate someone who didn’t feel shame, and she’d only ever had one whim he hadn’t indulged, even though he’d apparently been able to resist any of them at any time.

He was… a broken, damaged thing. Usually Cithis very much enjoyed the act of breaking things herself, but she did know how to take care of what belonged to her.

Captain Mithrun had been given to her, body and soul, and while he wasn’t fit to be a proper plaything he was still very useful. Seeing him fall apart had hurt her more than she’d admit even to herself.

Or maybe it was just knowing that she hadn’t been the one to cause it, or been able to do a damn thing about it. She hated other people taking her things.

She hadn’t been able to pull him out of it, either; hadn’t been able to think of a way to try. Not before that little… ah.

Cithis had always had a gift for spotting a person’s weakness.

Reaching out, she covered the hands still twisting through his sleeping tunic to still them. The question was, if he even knew it.

“I’m sorry, Captain, but I don’t see where this is different,” she said carefully, keeping her voice light. By all accounts, the captain couldn’t read other people for shit to spot a lie on his own, but why take the risk? “What has changed to make this a problem?”

And if she was just a little relieved to see a far more familiar look of annoyance flash across his face, he didn’t need to know that either.

“There is nothing I want now. The demon is gone, and I’m not,” he said sharply, and she didn’t bother curbing her smile.

“That was true two days ago, Captain. Yet you got up. What has changed?” She repeated a little more firmly, searching his face intently for any kind of recognition.

Sullenness pulled across his features and he slumped back, folding his arms across his chest.

“Nothing. That is the problem.”

Hiding from her? He’d never hidden before.

Maybe there was something good at the root of this after all, if the captain was going to become more… interesting. She’d not had a new plaything of her own since she’d been given him, or more accurately since she’d realized just how little he actually cared for himself.

And if this surge of passion turned out to be the temporary reprieve and he sank back into motionless, well, she’d just have to enjoy him while she could.

Of course, just giving him the answers wouldn’t be nearly as fun.

Her tiredness wasn’t even feigned as she sighed, slotting her legs back onto the cot behind him and lying down again.

“I’m sorry, Captain, I’m afraid I’m just not sure what you want. Perhaps I’m just too tired… shall we talk more in the morning? When you’ve had more time to gather your thoughts?” She asked sweetly, and yes, there was that irritation again.

That little flash of petulance that only the proximity of a dungeon had dragged out of him before. Honestly, him even taking the initiative to come find her at all was beginning to look like part of a lovely new pattern.

Maybe there was a new desire already forming… at least the desire to have a desire, which she supposed would be a new feeling to almost anyone. Yes, this next part was going to be very entertaining.

A fun little thought occurred to her, and she held the blanket open for him.

“Why don’t you sleep here, Captain? I can cast you another sleeping spell, and then if things are clearer in the morning you can tell me immediately,” she offered with her most innocent, sunny smile.

And if she cast a strong enough spell, he would certainly be asleep past the time his little tallman would come looking for him. And she’d have a lovely front row seat for the show.

The look Captain Mithrun gave her was… honestly, as sceptical as it always was when she put in the effort to be charming with him. He wasn’t a stupid little thing, just incredibly unbothered.

“I don’t always need sleeping spells,” he grumbled to himself, and oh Cithis knew this was going to be fun. He’d never cared about the method of his sleep before.

Still, he obediently lay down beside her, tucked in on his side until they were touching from shoulder to ankles to both fit on the narrow cot. Cithis considered curling a leg around his waist, both for her own comfort and to see what his… Kabru would do.

That could wait for morning.

She did wrap the arm holding her staff around him though, partially for easier spell casting and partially so neither of them fell off the cot. A rare moment of mercy moved her, and she let her lips press gently against the back of his head for a moment, her voice low.

“After all, Captain… tallmen hardly live for any time at all. Even if you never have another desire for as long as he lives, that isn’t so long to wait.”

The captain stiffened in her arms, but didn’t stop her from murmuring the incantantion this time, and with a gentle jingle of her bells he slumped back into sleep.

Making a mental note to find out just how old Kabru was (and how long tallmen actually did live anyway), Cithis settled down and relaxed as much as she could, waiting to join him.

Casting spells always did wake her up, but at least now she had something interesting to occupy her while she settled.

Perhaps Fleki had had a point, and it might be worth being released on the captain’s recognizance, even if he was planning to stay in this backwater country. After all, she was his caretaker. And she’d need a front row seat to whatever disaster Captain Mithrun’s attempts at flirtation were going to be.

She’d have to make sure that Fleki was also released to stay with them, of course. That would be the start of a fitting punishment for her lost sleep.

—————

Watch this space or follow me home via

#delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #after dinner mints #after dinner mints - afterthoughts #kabumisu #kabru/mithrun #captain mithrun #mithrun dungeon meshi #cithis #cithis dungeon meshi #listen to me i just love one absolute vicious queen #the canaries give me life #dungeon meshi canaries #mild dehumanisation #because it’s cithis #she doesn’t see others as people

[deconstructthesoup]

Analyzing "The Web I Spin For You"

Okay, so... THIS FUCKING SONG is one of the most interesting and compelling songs in the Nightmare Time saga, and nobody ever talks about it---unless they're praising Mariah's voice, which is something you should be doing regardless. Outside of "The Summoning," this is the only song sung by one of the gods of the Black & White, and unlike "The Summoning," which is just vibes, villain chaos, and dealing out some Faustian bargains with the NPMD gang, this song actually provides lore. It shows us a deeper look into Webby's psyche and motivations, something that the Lords in Black have yet to be gifted. It gives us a hint as to how brothers and sister split apart... and I think it might be our very first---and so far, only---look into the parent of these eldritch beings.

Okay, let's start.

"Why do you haunt me like a ghost? / You're supposed to love me the most"

Right off the bat, we have emotional depth. Webby is singing about someone who has hurt her, someone who was supposed to love her but instead used her and continues to haunt her life. Who is this person, and what did they do?

"Got me in the spell you cast / The iris of your eye is black / Weren't you the one to watch my back / Unlike the witches you summon?"

This is where it ties into the episode, with "witches you summon." You get the clear sense that Webby is talking about a family member---maybe her brothers, but it has to be one in particular, and it doesn't really feel like she's talking about Wiggly... if nothing more than the fact that his irises are very clearly not black, at least if the doll is anything to go by.

"Have you noticed that my trust has turned / You may have taught me, but now I've learned / Gotta catch you before I'm burned / In the web I spin for you"

Now, here is where it starts to make sense. I think this song is about the father of the Lords in Black and Webby---someone who taught them how to be gods of chaos. Maybe once upon a time, Webby believed in what her father was teaching her, maybe he even kept the truth secret from her, but she grew up, saw through it, decided that she didn't want to participate in the evil, and left.

At this point in the song, the phrase "the web I spin for you" seems to refer to something Webby made for her family's benefit, and based on the lyrics, it eventually became a curse for her. I saw someone mention the theory that Webby created the split timeline... and you know what? Maybe that is the web she made. A blessing, because nothing is ever permanent and nobody ever truly dies, but a curse, because she watches her brothers succeed again and again, and even when she wins, there's no guarantee that the people she helped will be happy. In fact, the episode this comes from has the only ending in the Hatchetfield universe---nobody dies, Hannah makes it out with Miss Holloway's help, Lex and Ethan get out of jail. And honestly... it hits harder that way, because I think there's enough evidence to suggest that The Witch In The Web is in the same timeline as Nightmare Time 2. And we all know how that ended.

"You used to keep me at your side / (Have you given that up? Have you given that up? Have you given that up?) / I suppose you'd have me empathize"

The way I'm interpreting it now, this could add fuel to the fire as to why the LiB resent Webby. Maybe back when she still believed in her family, she was her father's favorite. But something happened---maybe nothing more than the fact that she was kind---that changed all that. In the very next line, she says that the person she's singing about stabbed her in the back. Maybe she was lied to, maybe she was betrayed---whatever the reason, this could be why she left.

"Have you noticed that my trust has turned / You may have taught me, but now I've learned / I'll enjoy it as I watch you squirm / In the web I spin for you"

Here is where "the web I spin for you" shifts from being something Webby made to help to something she made to trap. The web she made---maybe it's the timeline, maybe it's something else---benefits nobody, but especially not the people who hurt her. She doesn't trust them anymore, so she's turned her web into something that can hurt them back.

"What's the point of giving love and trust for / I thought it something that was worth the fight for / And now I wonder what I worked so hard for / I even thought that I could give my life for you"

God. Damn. There's so much I can say, but the first thing that comes to mind is... poor Webby. Based on these lyrics alone, she has been hurt, she's been betrayed, she's likely been lied to or mislead about the purpose of what she was doing, and it's a miracle that she's still her loving and caring self. And speaking of which...

"I was the only one that loved and cared for / Have you noticed that I have it in for / As I grew older that I have no need for / The web I spin for you"

This one is actually pretty straightforward, and it lends credence to the theory that Webby truly is the only Queen in White---the only good entity in her family. The next line could either indicate that she's grown to the point where she's too powerful for the web she made, or she's outright rejecting her family and the purpose they gave her---either way, it's still cool.

"If I'm-a trust, I'm gonna trust in me / You may have taught me, but I'm now learning / All this time, I've been untangling / The web I spin for you"

And THIS RIGHT HERE is where the "gotta take it back, take it back" refrain all throughout the song makes sense. Webby is now attempting to undo her actions, now that she knows that she can't trust her family and that she's learning on her own. She's untangling the web she made, and in doing so, turning the tide.

"No doubt that if I drop dead / You'll find me tangled up / In the web I spin for you"

Full disclosure---I always have to look up those last two lyrics to know what they are, and they're very bone-chilling. My only thought to what this might mean is that... Webby's saying that the web she made might kill her. And she's either trying to guilt the person she's singing to, or she's furious at the fact that they made her create such a thing, and... yeah. I don't know what's more hard-hitting.

ANYWAYS, this song is supremely underrated

#starkid #hatchetfield #webby hatchetfield #nightmare time #hatchetverse #the lords in black #queen in white #the web i spin for you #the witch in the web #song analysis

[420technoblazeit]

does anybody remember that one time crowley almost died in the season 10 finale, as in he smoked out seconds before cas stabbed him, and he just like. fucked off and had an orgy instead of dealing with the situation. the demons were all panicking trying to find him and he was like whatever im taking a break dont call me

it's such an insane thing to do but if you told me that my mother, who abandoned me 300 years ago, was back from the dead and cast a spell on my friend/coworker/ex to make him kill me. and also god's evil twin sister was trying to start an apocalypse. i too would just fucking leave. like what do you do about that. might as well go get some dick at this point

#htis is going to be INCOMPREHENSIBLE to like 99% of my followers #spn spoilers #supernatural spoilers #crowley spn #crowley macleod #rowena macleod

[anonymous-dentist]

about the cellwithc au; could u pls describe more or less the vibe of the world theyre living in? like is it very realistic modern with some magic flares around and almost everyone is a witch, or is it like "wizards r very rare/kind of hidden" kind of thing? and also. may i ask for some demon roier details pls just anything u think is essential for his design or just him in general

So everybody’s born with a little magic, that’s just what happens. But some people choose to deliberately train their magic up and become proper witches, and they do… witch things tbh, lots of magical realism here. But they work as teachers or doctors or librarians or whatever because being a witch is just being someone who’s put a lot of effort into their own magical abilities. Some use their witch stuff as a side hustle, and some do witch stuff like potions and charms and harmless little spells as a main gig in little shops.

The Federation monitors all the magic and makes sure no one’s doing anything crazy like, say, summoning a demon. They’re super controlling and evil, don’t worry, fuck them.

Let’s use Cellbit as an example:

Cellbit doesn’t remember his childhood, but he remembers ‘waking up’ in the “War” (aka an underground illegal magic fighting ring) already able to do proper spell casting, meaning he was already on his way to becoming a proper witch. His time in the “War” led to him harnessing his magic in a more violent way than most witches do, but he kept trying to get stronger and stronger just to survive. Eventually, he ended up in prison for some magic-related murders, but he escaped with Pac and Mike and did some soul searching while in hiding, and now here he is as a librarian in a town far from home trying to get rid of his magic and stop being a witch because his witchy magic is only good for killing.

He thinks.

As for Demonoier:

When he’s in his more demony form, he’s got the six red eyes thing going on that a lot of fanart has. He likes to consider himself a spider demon even though that really isn’t a thing at all, he’s just Quirky. He has horns, too, and a tail, and fangs and a forked tongue, but he can magic them all away if he has to.

When in his human form, Roier just looks like a Guy, but he does have a small little magical tattoo of a spider on his chest to signify that he is, in fact, a “spider demon”. (Aka it’s the seal keeping his demon traits hidden, it’s gone when he’s in demon form)

#asks! #anon! #cellwitch au

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Caverns & Creatures - Part Two

Paranormal Preteens AU: Episode Twenty-Three

A JSE Fanfic

This second part of the two-part mini-arc! It's longer than the first, and considerably more happens. The five kids are still stuck in the fantasy game of Caverns and Creatures, and have to figure out how to beat the game to escape. Jackie is ready to do everything he can as a good game runner to help them... but that might be difficult with Anti there, constantly making things more "fun." And yeah. I think this part is really fun :)

More of this AU | From the Start | Read on AO3 at CrystalNinjaPhoenix

++++++++++++++++++++

“This is boring!”

Chase started awake. For a moment, he looked around the room in confusion. The wooden walls, the starchy white sheets of the bed, the lanterns in the corners—it was like nowhere he’d ever been. Then he remembered. Right, he and most of his friends had been pulled into that Caverns and Creatures game. He had laid down for a moment. Must’ve dozed off. Schneep, on the other bed, blinked awake as well. That shout hadn’t been him.

“Isn’t this supposed to be a game? What sort of game is watching people hang around?”

The ceiling had a green glowing circle in it, a window back to the real world. Anti was up there. He had his face pressed up close to the window, looking down at them.

“I was going to time-jump through the short rest!” A hand reached out and pulled Anti back. It was Jackie, who was now visible. “We weren’t actually gonna sit around for an hour!”

“It’s still boring!” Anti protested.

“Ohhh, would you shut the fuck up?” Marvin’s voice said. Chase and Schneep looked around in confusion, but Marvin was nowhere in sight.

“Marvin? Is that you?” Another voice said. Stacy.

“Whoa, what the fuck?” Marvin gasped. “I can hear you guys! Even though we’re in different rooms!”

“I guess out of character talking gets magically transmitted to you guys?” Jackie guessed.

“Really?” Schneep stood up, stumbling for a bit, clearly still not used to the wings that had been magically given to him. A part of the character he’d created. “I suppose that makes sense. It is not part of the game world, so we... ah... actually, I don’t think it makes sense.”

“No no no, keep going,” Marvin said. “JJ is also asking that you keep going. Huh. Guess sign language doesn’t get... transmitted. Booooo.”

“Okay, uh, how do you guys feel?” Jackie asked. “You should have healed during the rest.”

“I’m still a bit tired,” Marvin said.

“Uh... maybe that’s because you used a spell slot?” Jackie speculated.

“Huh?”

“That fireball spell you cast at the fly-dragons in the forest. Spell slots only recover during long rests, not short ones.”

“Oh yeaaaaaah! Fuck. I probably should’ve stuck to one of the ones you can use whenever. The, uh, what’s the name—”

“Boring!” Anti interrupted. “Let’s make something interesting happen! Suddenly, bandits are coming up the stairs! They’re gonna kill you and take your stuff!”

“Whoa, really?” Chase got up and hurried over to the door of the room in the inn. Some numbers rolled past his head, a counter of yellow numbers that ended on a 19, and then a +3 appeared, raising it to 22. Suddenly, Chase heard it clearly, footsteps creaking up the staircase. He even heard a couple voices, making evil-sounding ‘heh heh heh’ laughs. “Oh crap! We gotta get out of here!”

“JJ’s saying that we can fight them!” Marvin said. “He’s grabbing the flail-thing in preparation!”

“I don’t want to fight people right now!” Stacy protested. “We just fought those fly-dragons!”

“You don’t have to fight them if you don’t want to!” Jackie quickly said. “You can find some other way out of this!”

Chase shook his head. “Whatever we do, we should all be together when doing it.” He opened up the door to the room and hurried out into the inn hallway. He knocked on the doors of the other rooms—the one where Stacy was staying, and the one where Marvin and JJ were. They all came out into the hallway, as well. Chase jumped slightly. He still wasn’t used to the additions to their appearances that they’d all gotten when getting pulled into this world. Marvin’s horns, JJ’s pointed ears, and Stacy’s supernaturally pale skin. But he pushed that off for now. “Okay, so, what d’we do?!”

We fight them! JJ said. His weapon—that massive flail—is strapped to his back in preparation. It wasn’t too hard to fight the dragons!

Schneep joined the group in the hall as well. “I do not think that’s a good idea,” Schneep said slowly. “I do not have forever healing potions. I will run out eventually. We still do not know what happens if our health in this game runs out.”

“Whyyyy is it taking them so long to get up the stairs?” Anti complained.

“Things in the game always slow down for conversation,” Jackie snapped, annoyed.

“Schneep’s potions are our only way to recover health,” Marvin says. “I don’t think we should waste them. As cool as it’d be to cast more fucking awesome magic, I think we should get out of here.”

JJ sighed, looking uncharacteristically disappointed. Was he really looking forward to a fight?

“How do we get out of here, then?” Chase looked around. “Out a window?”

“Seems good to me!” Stacy said. “C’mon, we can go into my room and block off the door to buy time.”

The kids all do so, hurrying through the doorway and slamming the door closed. “Who’s the strongest?” Marvin asked. “I mean—who has the highest Strength stat?”

“JJ, obviously,” Chase said. “His class is all about strength. Uhh... mine is a 16, I think that’s the second highest, if you need help.”

JJ nodded. Let’s move this together, then, he said, and pointed at the wardrobe.

The two of them started pushing the wardrobe across the floor. Numbers rolled past them, landing on a 10 for Chase and a 17 for JJ. Together, they managed to block off the door—though Chase could definitely tell JJ was doing most of the work. Meanwhile, the other three gathered around the window. Stacy pushed it open and started to climb out.

“Oh, careful of the sun, Stacy,” Jackie said. “Remember, your character Morgana is a vampire.”

“I remember.” Stacy opened up her umbrella, covering her head.

“Won’t it be hard to climb down while carrying that?” Marvin asked.

“Right. Yeah. She’d probably have disadvantage.”

“What’s that again?” Chase asked.

“Well, she’d roll twice and have to use the smaller number,” Jackie explained.

“I have a +5 to this, I’m sure I can get out safely,” Stacy said. She started to climb down. Pink numbers appeared by her head. The first one was a 20, with the +5 making it a 25. The second was a 4, turning to a 9. Stacy yelped as she disappeared from sight. There was a thud! as she landed on the ground. “Owww. No fair!” her voice called up.

Jackie winced. “That’s just how the rolls go sometimes.”

Footsteps walked outside the door. It jiggled slightly. “Whasthis? The door’s blocked!” a raspy voice said.

“Something valuable hasta be inside!” another said. “Kick it down!”

Chase’s eyes widened. “Everyone else go out!”

Marvin nodded and climbed out the window next. The numbers by his head landed on 15, and there was a quieter thump as he got out the window. “Got it!” he shouted back up. “Schneep, you next!”

“No, Chase and JJ should go first,” Schneep said.

“Really?” Chase said, he and JJ hurrying over to the window. “I think me and JJ could fight them off if we had to.”

“I insist.” Schneep shoved Chase a little.

“Okay, okay.” Chase climbed out the window awkwardly. He hesitated, scanning the side of the building for footholds. Then he started climbing out. The numbers landed on a 17, and he found himself easily climbing down, like it was second nature to him—even though it definitely wasn’t. “Way to go, Fahl Trailblazer,” he said, grinning as he complimented his character for the skill.

Once he reached the bottom, he, Marvin, and Stacy all looked up towards the window. A few tense moments passed. Then JJ jumped out the window. He jumped. Out the window. The numbers flashed through the air, ending up on an 18. JJ landed on his feet perfectly, grinning.

“Whoa!” Marvin jumped, then laughed. “You’re really getting into character as Ion, aren’t you?” JJ nodded in response, doing a little victory dance.

“Schneep?!” Chase called worriedly.

Schneep also jumped out the window—but he fell much slower. Gliding, in fact. With his wings spread wide. He lowered himself to the ground slowly, then looked back at the others smugly.

“Oh for crying out loud!” Chase threw his hands in the air. “I was worried for nothing!”

“You are the one who forgot that I chose the birdfolk! How is it hard to forget these?” Schneep’s wings flapped.

“I guess I forgot they, uh, worked?”

“Guys?” The window in the sky had moved, still above them. Jackie stared down through it. “You should probably run. They’re going to see you through the window.”

“Right!” Chase nodded. “Everyone, run!”

The group ran, reaching the city streets of the fantasy city, Suilara. They kept running for a while, until the Unicorn’s Crown inn disappeared. When they stopped, they found themselves in a wide central square of some kind with a fountain in the middle, depicting beautiful women pouring water from jugs and vases. People in fantasy clothes walked around. “Are they gone?” Chase asked.

They all looked behind them. Numbers rolled by each of their heads. Marvin, who got the highest, shook his head. “We lost them.” Then he looked up at the window in the sky. “Not fucking cool, Anti!”

“Was that less ‘boring’ to you?” Stacy shouted.

“Yeah!” Anti said, grinning. “There was like—action! I mean it wasn’t as good as the dragon fight, but it was fun!”

Marvin scowled, then looked back down, glancing around the others. “Alright. Well... now what?”

Silence.

“Okay okay, I-I can work with this,” Jackie said, flipping through the pages of the booklet for the Secrets of Suilara campaign. “Uh—roll perception. Oh shit, uh, that doesn’t make sense when you’re in the game. Uh, look around.”

They all did. More numbers rolled, and Chase’s eyes suddenly landed on something. A short someone hurrying across the square. “Huh. Isn’t that the, uh, dwarf lady?”

“Oh! I see her too.” Schneep nodded. “And she has that same bag that we delivered to her.”

Stacy frowned. “That’s not weird, is it? I mean, weren’t they jewels or something? Maybe she’s gonna sell them. Or use them to buy stuff.”

Chase blinked. “Huh. Uh, actually, I caught a glimpse of what was in the bag when we gave it to her in her store. It looked round and gold. And it was glowing slightly.”

“What?!” Marvin gasped. “Wait, did we know that?!”

“Uh, no, you guys didn’t know that,” Jackie said. “Dalrun the dwarf told you it was jewels.”

Glowing gold is definitely not jewels, JJ said, frowning. Something strange is going on.

“Think we should follow her?” Chase asked.

Stacy nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

As the group sets off after Helga, following her down a curving city street, Jackie said, “You’ll all have to roll for stealth, I think. Uh... this’ll be a collective roll, so we’ll add them up and find the average.”

The numbers rolled by their heads. 05, 23, 09, 11, 14. Then they flew together, becoming a 12 in glowing white. Chase noticed that the townsfolk around were looking at them, but Helga seemed too busy. “Who got the five?” Chase muttered.

“You did,” Stacy said.

“What?”

“Yeah, it was a yellow number. You all are so lucky my character is good at this.” Stacy smiled smugly.

“And yet, you cannot climb down from trees and windows,” Schneep said teasingly.

“Hey!”

Luckily, that ‘out of character’ shout didn’t draw Helga’s attention. The group followed her down the street, watching as she ducked into a side alley. They all slowed down, standing near the alley entrance. Stacy peered around the corner of a building into the alley. A roll next to her head landed on 14. “I see her messing with a statue at the end here,” she whispered back to the others. “Dunno what she’s doing. Uh... she’s walking down into a hole at the base, maybe? Aaaand she’s gone.”

Well, let’s go after her! JJ said, and hurried down the alley.

Marvin raised an eyebrow. “Well. Might as well.” He followed JJ.

“That’s the spirit!” Anti said from the window excitedly. “Go in there and, uh... kill her! That’ll be fun!” Jackie gave him an annoyed glance.

“I think it is more important to get information from her,” Schneep said as the other three all followed the twins. “We need to beat the game to escape, yes? I think she can help us do that.”

The shadowy alley ended at a stone brick wall. In front of the wall was the statue Stacy mentioned. A metal wolf standing on a hexagon-shaped plinth, fearsome teeth bared and its mouth open. The eyes of the statue were replaced by rubies, giving the wolf a menacing red gaze. “What is this?” Schneep asked, frowning. A set of numbers rolled by his head. 05 +4 for a 09. “Ah, it is some sort of dire wolf... I think.”

“Why’s it at the end of an alley by itself?” Chase asked. “And where’s that hole Stacy saw Helga go into?” Sure enough, the floor was solid. Not even a crack in it, much less a hole big enough for a dwarf to disappear into.

“Hmm...” Marvin crouched down next to the statue. “Maybe the statue got moved over it.” More numbers appeared, landing on a 13. “Yeah, I think that’s it. I feel a breeze coming from under it. We have to move the statue, I think.”

Sacy frowned. “I don’t think she was moving the statue... she was just, like, messing with it somehow.”

We can try moving it first, then if it doesn’t work, we’ll try to figure it out, JJ said.

Marvin laughed. “Really? I think it’s usually the other way around with you.”

JJ shrugged. This isn’t the real world, it’s not like we’re actually going to damage someone’s property. He walked up to the statue and started pushing. The numbers by his head rolled, landing on a 15. Slowly, with a loud scraping sound, the statue started to move, then stopped. There was indeed a hole beneath it, a ladder leading downwards. But the statue got stuck when there was only about six inches of the hole exposed, nowhere near enough space to climb down. JJ frowned. Marvin, do you have any magic that could help?

Marvin shook his head. “The shrinking spell is like… a level four spell. We’re still only level one.” His face screwed up in concentration. “I don’t think I have any other spells that could help... Do you think the statue is broken? I have the Fix Object spell, if that’s the case. That might work.”

“It is stuck,” Chase said. “I say that counts as broken.”

“Uhhh no, I don’t think that’s how Fix Object works,” Jackie said from above.

“Well I can use it whenever I want,” Marvin said. “So I might as well try.” He rubbed his hands together, causing them to glow yellow-white, and then put them on the statue. The light spread around it... and then faded, and nothing had changed. “Well... fuck, then.”

Stacy giggled. “I guess we have to figure out the puzzle, then?”

“Noooo!” Anti complained, his voice distant as he wasn’t currently in the window. “She’s getting away!”

Jackie turned to look at him and frowned. “What’re you doing?!”

“I’m looking at your books for this game.”

“Be careful with those!” Jackie lunged to the side, disappearing from the window. “They cost so much!”

“But there are so many cool monsters in this one!”

The five kids all stared up at the window while this happened, then slowly looked back down at the wolf statue. “Let’s just... roll to figure it out quickly,” Schneep said slowly. “The sooner we are out of here, the better.”

All of them leaned close to the statue, squinting at it. Numbers rolled by... 09, 08, 04, 05, 01. “Yeah, uh... I don’t get it,” Chase said.

“Are we sure this statue even moves?” Marvin said.

“What?! You were the one who said there was a hole beneath it!” Chase pointed out. “We saw it move right now!”

“Oh yeah. Uhh... I dunno, I guess my brain just stopped working for a minute there.”

Jackie laughed. “You rolled a nat one and forgot what you’d just seen. That’s hilarious, actually.”

Schneep shook his head. “I think we all rolled pretty low. I do not know what the trick to this is at all.”

“Oh boo.” Stacy frowned. “How are we gonna get through, then?”

Let’s just try pushing it again! JJ said. Chase, you and me together, like in the inn.

“Right!” Chase nodded. He and JJ started pushing the statue again. Numbers rolled... an 11 and a 12. Chase felt it give slightly, but then it stopped.

“Welp.” Marvin folded his arms. “Guess we’re fucking stuck. Unless we all want to try together?”

“Ja, let’s all push together,” Schneep agreed.

They all gathered up next to the statue and pushed. More numbers rolled—and Marvin’s green set of numbers landed on a 20. Suddenly, the statue gave way, and all five of them fell forward. They yelled in surprise, more numbers rolled, and Chase landed hard on the ground along with all the others. He saw a yellow 12 by his head roll down to a 10. Lost two hp from that fall. He saw everyone else’s health roll down by two as well.

“Are you kidding?!” Stacy shouted indignantly. “I’m the agility girl! I’m the one who lands!”

The guys all burst into laughter. She glared at the rest of them, but eventually started giggling too. They all got to their feet one at a time and looked around. Behind them was a stone ladder built into the wall, leading back up to the alley. Ahead of them was a long tunnel made of stone bricks, with torches in sconces on the wall. Chase squinted. “Really dark down there.”

“Really? It’s more dim than anything,” Marvin said.

“Yes, it gets dark eventually, but we can see all the way to the staircase,” Schneep said.

“What staircase?”

The staircase at the end of this hallway, JJ said.

“Are you guys messing with me?” Chase asked. “It’s so dark! Like, a wall of shadows.”

“Wait, you really can’t see it? Oh, I get it!” Stacy’s eyes widened. “All our characters can see in the dark except for yours! He’s just human.”

“Are you kidding?!” Chase threw his hands up into the air. “Fine! Fahl Trailblazer is good at other things!” He grabbed a torch from a nearby sconce. “Let’s go after Helga. I think she’s up to some shady stuff.”

“Probably a good idea,” Marvin agreed. “Let’s go.”

The group set off down the tunnel. As the others said, there was a staircase at the bottom, and the group descended it into another, slightly more rough-hewn tunnel. They continued forward for a while in silence. Then Schneep gasped. “Wait! What if there are traps down here?!”

“Huh?” Chase looked at him.

“Jackie said that the Caverns in Caverns and Creatures sometimes have traps!”

“I did say that,” Jackie said. “Uh... roll to keep an eye out for traps, I guess? You and Stacy would probably be best at finding and disarming them.”

Stacy and Schneep nodded. Their numbers rolled, landing on a 19 and a 20. The second one was accompanied by a flair of fireworks. “Wow... I am absolutely sure there are no traps down here,” Stacy said.

Jackie laughed. “It’s a good mentality though! If this was another campaign you might have to worry about it.”

“...so there are no traps at all in this game,” Marvin said.

“Oh, uh... pay no attention to me,” Jackie said.

Chase laughed.

The tunnel gradually sloped downwards. The group continued on for a while more—

“It’s boring again!” Anti suddenly said.

Jackie’s eyes widened. “Oh, uh, don’t worry, it’s going to get exciting soon!” he said hurriedly. “They’re going to encounter a—”

“A shifting ooze!” Anti interrupted.

“What the fuck?!” Jackie shouted, aghast.

A dripping sound came from behind them. A gloopy, splashing sound. The group spun around and saw black goop dripping from the ceiling. It gathered on the floor, clumping together, raising into a humanoid figure, strands of goop dangling from its limbs and purple eyes peering from its head. “Holy shit!” Marvin gasped. “That’s so fucking cool!”

“Guys, get out of there!” Jackie shouted, leaning close to the window in the sky. “Shifting oozes are recommended for level ten parties! You guys are still level one!”

“Oh fuck!” Marvin’s awe quickly turned to fear. “Guys, go go go go!”

Numbers rolled through the air, one for each of the kids, and another for the shifting ooze. That one landed on a 19, the highest of the bunch. It lunged forward, hands shifting into black claws, and swiped at Marvin. More numbers rolled, the claws slashed through Marvin’s tunic, and his health appeared, a 07 going immediately down to -01. Marvin collapsed.

JJ shrieked. He tried to rush forward, but couldn’t move from the spot; it wasn’t his turn. It was Chase’s. Chase ran forward instead, checking Marvin over. Numbers rolled by his head—a 08, followed by a +3 then a +2 for a total of 13. “I-I can... can stabilize him,” Chase said, voice shaking. “He’s not—he’s badly hurt, but we can fix that.” He reached into a pouch at his belt and pulled out some cloth bandages, quickly wrapping them around Marvin’s torso. Then he grabbed him and stood up again, starting to run away from the shifting ooze—but he couldn’t move. His turn was over.

Now that it was his turn, JJ rushed forward and swung his flail at the shifting ooze. The spiky ball at the end splashed into its gloopy body. The hit succeeded, passing through the ooze’s armor and doing 05 damage. But the ooze was unphased.

“Guys, I’m not kidding!” Jackie shouted. “Get out of there!”

JJ looked up at the window in the sky and nodded. He ran back to where he was before, grabbing Chase and Marvin as he went and dragging them a short distance away.

“Ah—ah—” Schneep looked through his potions. His eyes widened. “Ah!” He pulled one out and threw it at the ground in front of the ooze. The glass bottle broke, forming a wall of fire. “Run!” he shouted, and then turned and did just that. Stacy did the same. The ooze hesitated in front of the fire, then tried lunging forward. Numbers flew up from the point of contact, and it shrieked. It got through the flames, but didn’t move further. Even with that damage, it still didn’t look too bothered.

Chase shuddered in fear. “Y-yeah! Let’s go!” He picked up Marvin—surprisingly not feeling the weight of him—and ran. JJ was right behind him.

The group sprinted down the tunnel until they reached a fork, a branch heading to the left and to the right. Where did that dwarf lady go?! JJ asked.

Chase squinted. Numbers rolled by his head, landing on a 15. He noticed imprints in the dust on the tunnel floor—footprints. “This way!” He pointed to the left. The group all ran down that way. Behind them, they could still hear that gloopy, drippy sound of the shifting ooze. They continued to run, not stopping until that gloopy sound was well out of earshot.

“What... the heck?!” Stacy panted.

Jackie sighed in relief. He shot a burning glare at Anti. “You can’t just put any monster you want in the game! That thing can hit for up to 20hp! Marvin would’ve di—w-would’ve lost right away if he took 14 damage!”

Chase also glared up at Anti through the window. “Y-yeah! It wouldn’t be fun if we just lost immediately!” 

“It’s not fun if you just walk through dark caves the whole time, either!” Anti snapped back.

“Can we please just keep going?!” Schneep asked, exasperated. “I feel like we are getting close to beating the game!”

“Uh... y-yeah I guess.” Jackie still looked a bit shaken by the shifting ooze attack, but he pushed it away. “I mean... technically there’s more you can do around the city and in the forest, but we’re sort of skipping that whole thing, because it might be, uh... ‘boring.’” He glanced at Anti warily.

“Good!” Anti said, not catching onto Jackie’s look. “Keep going, then!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Chase muttered. “But first, we gotta help Marvin. Schneep, you have healing potions, right?”

Schneep nodded. He reached into his bag and pulled out another potion. “Do I just... put it in his mouth?”

Game logic should take over from there, yes, JJ said. Please hurry!

“I am, I am.” Schneep uncorked the bottle. “Chase, set Marvin down.” Chase did so, and Schneep knelt down, propping Marvin’s head up with one hand. He used the other to tilt the health potion into Marvin’s mouth. Marvin’s health counter appeared again, going back up to 03.

Marvin groaned, and opened his eyes. “Wha...?”

JJ slumped in relief. He knelt next to Marvin. How do you feel?

“Uh... fine, I guess? My chest kinda hurts.” Marvin touched the claw marks on his torso. “Oof. Oh fuck.”

“W-well, at least we know what happens when your health reaches zero now?” Stacy said.

“Yeah... makes sense, your character doesn’t die right away when your hp reaches zero in normal C&C anyway,” Jackie said. “You have to fail some death saves... but, uh, hopefully you guys won’t have to worry about those!” He laughed. The sound was a bit strained. “A-anyway. Keep going!”

Marvin got up and the group continued down the tunnels. Chase had dropped the torch back when the shifting ooze attacked, but he grabbed another from the wall easily enough. The tunnels continued to go down, down, down. Every so often, the floor would end at a cliff and the kids would have to climb down a rope. Or there would be a pit in the ground and they’d have to cross a bridge to get across it. Chase tried not to look down when these obstacles appeared.

Eventually, the tunnel ended at a wall. A massive stone door blocked their way, embedded in an archway with two strange statues carved on either side. The creatures’ main bodies were that of a wolf, but with dragon-like wings and snakes for tails—not snake-like tails, but actual snakes for tails. The creature had another head next to the wolf head, that of a goat. “What the fuck are those?” Marvin muttered.

“No idea,” Stacy said. “I guess you can roll for it?”

Marvin nodded. He walked up to one of the statues, touching it. His numbers rolled by, landing on an 05. “Nope, no idea.”

“Um... I can try,” Chase said slowly. He walked up to the other statue, squinting at its wolf head. His numbers rolled past, landing on an 02. But then they rolled again, and this time landed on 17. “Oh! These are marakdas. They’re like chimeras!”

Schneep blinked. “Why did your numbers roll twice?”

“Because Chase’s class has a feature where he gets advantage on rolls related to creatures,” Jackie said. “Not necessarily fighting them, but... knowledge about them, you know?”

“Ah.” Schneep nodded.

Well now we know, but how do we get inside? JJ asked.

They all stared at the door. More numbers rolled by the guys’ heads... And then Stacy walked forward and casually pressed down on one of the statues’ front paws. It sunk into the arch of the doorway, and the stone door slowly slid up. “You guys didn’t notice that?” she asked, looking back at the others.

“...oh,” Chase said.

“Ah!” Schneep’s eyes widened. “I noticed that, but I did not realize it was important.”

Must have been because you two were looking for traps, JJ said. Light came from the now-open doorway. A flickering, purple-pink light. Now let’s go.

“Yeah! Whooo!” Anti cheered from the window. “Kick her butt!”

“Oh shut up,” Marvin snapped. “We’re beating this game cause you put us in here, we’re not gonna make you happy for doing a dick move like that!”

Anti blinked, looking momentarily confused. “I... don’t want you to ‘make me happy.’ I want to have fun with you.”

“Well we don’t want to have fun with you!” Marvin shouted.

“Then why d’you keep playing?”

“Ugh.” Marvin threw his hands in the air. “Whatever. Let’s go, guys. See how this game ends.”

As the group walked through the door, Jackie flipped through the booklet. “Okay, uh, since Anti has clearly proven that we can just say whatever we want and it’ll happen, fuck it. You’re all level five now, and the cavern is setup for endgame. You don’t have to go find the silver and bronze orbs, they’re already there.”

“Silver and... huh?” Chase glanced up at him in confusion.

But the confusion was wiped away when he looked at the room. This was a vast, circular room, made of stone in varying shades of gray. Statues lined the edges, carvings of all sorts of fantasy races found in Caverns and Creatures—humans, dwarves, elves, fiends, dryads, birdfolk, dragonfolk, fish-like waterfolk—all of them holding their arms up like they were supporting the ceiling. The ceiling itself was decked out with crystals, making it look like the night sky full of stars. Torches of purple-pink fire lined the walls. In the center of the room was another statue of the creatures outside the door. A marakda, apparently. Behind it was a pit lined with a stone wall. The marakda’s three mouths were open. There was a bronze orb in the snake’s mouth, a silver orb in the goat’s... and standing before the open wolf mouth was Helga Wolffighter, just about to place a glowing golden orb in there.

“Hey!” Chase shouted. He grabbed his bow, quickly nocking it—like before, his arms moved on their own like he’d known how to do this for ages. Then he aimed it at her. “What’re you doing?”

Helga Wolffighter spun around. “When we awaken the monster beneath Suilara, it will follow our orders! We will be able to threaten anyone into doing our bidding!”

“We?” Marvin asked, confused.

“Oh, uh—she’s supposed to have accomplices, we sort of skipped all that,” Jackie explained. “Don’t worry about it. Probably could’ve done the dialogue better—ah, we’re in a rush.”

Let’s stop her before she can wake up the monster! JJ said. He pulled his flail off his back.

“Whaaat? No!” Anti complained. “Monster fight! Monster fight! She puts the thing in the thing and wakes it up!”

Suddenly, as if skipping through scenes on a movie, the golden orb appeared in the wolf mouth and Helga was standing off to the side with her arms raised. The circular cavern started to shake. “Rise!” Helga shouted. The kids all stumbled. Numbers rolled, and Marvin and JJ fell to the ground prone while the other three managed to keep their feet. A massive paw appeared on the edge of the stone wall around the pit. And then a second one. Both covered in white fur, with long curved silver claws. A beast lifted itself up from the pit. It had a wolf head, covered in gold fur, and a goat head, its white fur slightly shaggier, with silver horns curling from its head. Large scaled wings unfurled, coppery-gold in color, and a snake whipped around from behind, its diamond-shaped head and body covered in bronze scales. The three mouths all opened, letting out a howl, a scream, and a hiss.

“Holy shit!” Marvin gasped. “That thing’s like—fucking three times as tall as us!”

“Are you sure level five is enough, Jackie?” Stacy asked worriedly.

“It’s uh—bigger than it’s supposed to be, I think,” Jackie said. “I’m gonna blame Anti for that one. But you guys can do it! I know you can!”

“I do not think we have a choice but to do it,” Schneep muttered. He pulled out a couple potions. “So let’s do it!”

“Yeah!” Chase shouted.

JJ nodded determinedly.

The monster—a marakda, just like the statues—leaned down, and its wolf mouth opened up wide. Lightning shot out of its maw, blue and crackling, and hit Helga, sending her flying back and slumping to the ground, barely conscious.

“Let’s roll initiative, then,” Jackie said.

Numbers appeared, rolling by each of them. Despite having three heads, the marakda only had one set of numbers. And despite its clear power, it rolled the lowest, ending up at the end of the turn order. Chase was first. He immediately took aim at the wolf head and fired his arrow. It flew through the air, trailing numbers behind it, and embedded itself in the wolf’s skin, doing 10 damage. The marakda roared.

“How much health does this thing have, Jackie?!” Marvin asked.

“Uh—a lot?” Jackie said. 

JJ’s turn was next. He clambered to his feet and rushed forward—but only got halfway across the room before he ran out of movement. He stopped, frustrated. Then his eyes widened. Oh I can do something cool! He closed his eyes, then opened them up wide, now glowing completely red. Glowing red designs also appeared on his skin around his eyes, looking vaguely like runes.

“Oh hell yeah! Your rage stuff!” Marvin grinned and also got to his feet. He pointed at the marakda and three streaks of green-blue light shot out of his hand, one rushing for each of the marakda’s head and hitting it for 4, 4, and 2 damage. All of the heads cried out, shaking off the magic. Then Stacy ran forward, completely crossing the room (to JJ’s dismay) and running up to the marakda’s front legs. She pulled out two knives and stabbed downwards. One missed, but the second dealt 8 damage.

“You can attack with two weapons?!” Chase shouted. “Can’t you only attack once per turn?”

“Uhhh—” Stacy looked down at her knives. “Guess that’s cause Jackie leveled us up!”

“Ooo! That should mean—I was looking at this potion on the list—” Schneep fumbled through his stuff. “Yes!” He pours one on the ground between him and Marvin. It forms an icy blue fog upon contact, and Marvin, Schneep, and Chase all glow slightly. The numbers representing their health appear, and a spectral blue 10 appears over them. “We all have more temporary health!”

“Great! I think my health sucks,” Marvin said. “Even leveled up I apparently only have 21.”

The marakda raised one of its legs and swiped at Stacy. She yelped and tried to dodge, but still got hit and flew backwards, her health rolling down from 42 to 30. “Good thing we got more hp with the level, then!” she said from where she was lying. Its snake tail lunged forward as well, trying to bite her, but she rolled out of the way.

With the additional health, Chase felt safe enough to run forward. He nocked another arrow as he went, aiming it at the marakda. He narrowed his eyes in concentration... and a glowing yellow rune appeared in midair over the marakda’s main body. His eyes widened slightly, but it didn’t distract him from firing his bow again. The arrow hit once more, right at the base of the creature’s draconic wings. 9 damage appeared—and then an additional 6 damage. “Oh!” Marvin gasped. “Chase, did you just do magic?!”

“I, uh, guess?” Chase said. “I think I marked it or something and that made it so I did more damage.”

“That’s exactly what that was!” Jackie said proudly. “Hunters get a couple spells—that was their Tracking Mark!”

“Cooool.” Chase grinned.

“Yeah, we’ve all got more spells now!” Marvin said excitedly.

JJ grinned. He closed the rest of the distance to the marakda and bashed its front knee with his flail. 7 damage appeared, with a +2 bumping it up to a 9. He tried hitting it again, but that didn’t land, instead just bouncing off its fur.

“Whoo! Fuck yeah, JJ!” Marvin shouted encouragingly. He hesitated for a moment, thinking about what magic to use. Then he gasped, made some weird gestures, and vanished from sight. “Don’t worry, I’m still here!” he said, voice drifting to the side.

Schneep laughed in delight, then looked down at his potions. After Stacy tried attacking again—hitting for 4 and 4 damage—he ran across the room, drinking a potion as he did. A glowing purple aura surrounded him, and he pulled a dagger out of his belt, hitting the marakda for 3 damage. He frowned, disappointed. “I thought that would do more damage.”

The monster roared again. Both its wolf and goat mouth opened up wide, and lightning poured out. Chase gasped and tried to brace himself, and he saw the others doing the same. Numbers rolled, and he was thrown backwards, health rolling down from 56 to 36. He saw the others all affected as well, though JJ managed to keep his feet and only lost 10 hp. “W-we gotta take this thing down quick!” says Stacy.

“I think we’re doing good so far!” Chase shouted, getting back to his feet and firing another arrow at the goat head. It hits for a total of 7 damage. The goat head reeled back, bleating in shock, then looked at him—and despite it not being its turn, it leaned down and headbutted him with its horns. He shouted in surprise as he fell down again and his health went down to 27. “Hey, what?! No fair! It’s not your turn!”

“Some creatures can take actions out of turn order,” Jackie said. “They’re called Mythic Actions.”

“That would’ve been helpful to know earlier!”

“I hadn’t read this monster’s stats yet, I didn’t know it had Mythic Actions!”

JJ growled. He looked up at the monster—and then jumped up, grabbing its fur and climbing up its leg. The marakda roared in surprise and tried to kick him off, but JJ kept his grip as more numbers flew through the air. He climbed up to the spot in between the two heads, pulled his flail out, and bashed it against the marakda twice for 5 and 10 damage.

“It is not looking so good!” Schneep shouted. “We are doing it!”

“Oh no, JJ, can you move?” Marvin’s voice called.

JJ looked towards the spot where his invisible twin probably was. What do you mean?

“I was gonna do a thing!”

Do it anyway!

“It might hit you!”

I still have 80 health, I’ll be fine!

“Okay, if you insist,” Marvin said reluctantly. Then, from underneath the marakda’s two front legs a blast of ice and snow spirals upwards, hitting the marakda’s two heads. It roars, and a massive 25 damage appears overhead. Suddenly, the marakda collapsed. JJ tumbled off onto the ground, and Marvin yelped in surprise, taking 10 damage as the monster landed on him.

“Omg, did Marvin just do it?!” Stacy gasped. “I think he just did it!”

“Yeah, it’s not getting back up, is it?” Chase grinned. “That was awesome, Marvin!”

Marvin flickered back into visibility. “Whoo!” He gave a smile and a thumbs-up. “I wouldn’t have been, uh, confident enough to do that if Schneep hadn’t given me those extra health points. Not to mention you guys all brought it down, too!”

“Yes, we could not have done it by ourselves!” Schneep beamed.

JJ clapped his hands in celebration. He ran over and tried lifting up the marakda. Luckily, he rolled a perfect 20, and was able to lift it up enough for Marvin to scramble out.

“Now what?” Chase asked. “We... won, didn’t we?”

“Uh... maybe there’s more we need to do,” Marvin said.

Maybe we need to take the orbs? JJ asked, pointing at the statue.

“Well, Stacy? Do you want to do the honors?” Chase asked. “Didn’t you say something about wanting treasure earlier?”

Stacy stuck her tongue out at him. “It’s not me, it’s Morgana. She has a background as a thief, but then she broke into the wrong place and got turned into a vampire. I actually don’t care all that much.” 

“Oh, uh... sorry?”

“You put that much thought into your backstory?” Schneep asked.

“Yeah, I even have an idea for what the vampire who turned her could be named.”

Marvin stood up, brushing himself off. “Well—I think JJ’s right, let’s grab the orbs. Axitios is also very excited for treasure, though he’s more into jewels than coins and stuff.” He walked over to the statue and reached up, easily taking the golden orb out of the wolf mouth. As soon as he did, the wolf head on the statue crumbled. Stacy and Chase also walked over. She grabbed the bronze orb and he grabbed the silver one. And just like with the gold one, the goat and snake heads immediately crumbled into dues the moment the orbs came out.

And then the floor started to glow green.

The kids all looked down in unison. Chase covered his eyes as the green glow became too intense to look at, lighting up the entire room—

++++++++++++++++++++

Jackie scrambled back as the game board started to glow intensely. Anti didn’t move at all, staring down at it and grinning. Then there was a flash of green light—and suddenly the five younger kids were all back in place, sitting around the table. They blinked, confused. Marvin felt his head, noticing the lack of horns, and JJ grabbed the tips of his now-round ears. Schneep shifted in his chair and Stacy patted her face. Chase looked at his belt for his quiver of arrows but saw nothing. None of them looked hurt at all.

“Oh thank god.” Jackie ran forward. “H-how do you guys feel? Are you all okay?”

“Y-yeah, I think so,” Chase said.

“Yay!” Anti appeared, leaning onto the table between Marvin and JJ. “Congradoo—Congradala—Congrats! You won!”

Marvin turned and glared at him. “Dude, shut the fuck up! We didn’t want to play your stupid fucking game!”

“Huh? But of course you did!” Anti grinned. “That’s why you’re here! To play a game!”

“W-well, ah—that was not—the way we wanted to do it!” Schneep stammered.

“Why? Was it scary?”

It wasn’t NOT scary, JJ said.

Anti glared at him. “I still dunno what you’re saying.”

“Look, you just—just get out of here!” Chase stood up. “You can’t just show up and put people in a game! So just leave! Go go go!”

Anti blinked, clearly surprised. “Okay, okay, fine. You could just say that you didn’t have fun.” He folded his arms, and the lights overhead flickered. When they turned back on, Anti was gone.

Jackie sighed. “I’m so sorry, guys. I-I really didn’t want this to happen.”

It’s not your fault, Jackie, JJ said. You couldn’t expect Anti to show up out of nowhere.

“Still.” Jackie looked down at the game board, now back to normal. He started gathering up the pieces and dice. “I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have gotten you, uh... I shouldn’t have pushed you guys to play Caverns and Creatures. I get it if you guys never want to see this game again.”

“Huh? What’re you talking about?” Marvin asked. “That was awesome!”

Stacy nodded. “I-I mean, it was a bit, uh, freaky to get pulled into the game, but it was cool! I-I’d like to play a more normal version.”

“If all games are like that, it will be very interesting to play!” Schneep said. “And less dangerous when we are not actually fighting monsters.”

I normally don’t fight everything like that, it was fun to be stronger! JJ said.

Jackie looked back up at the kids. His expression slowly lightened. “You... you guys liked it? Y-you’d want to play more?”

All the kids nodded in unison.

“Even though the real version is just gonna be a bunch of dice rolling and moving pieces?”

“Well, now that we’ve gone through something like that, we can like... picture it in our brains.” Chase tapped the side of his. “So it’ll be even more awesome!”

Jackie laughed, looking relieved. “Th-that’s good to hear! Well, uh, exams are really coming up, so I don’t think we’ll be able to meet for a proper game soon. But once winter holiday starts, do you guys want to... try again?”

“Aww, do we really have to wait so long?” Marvin whined.

“No, Jackie’s right, exams are important,” Stacy said. She sighed. “We can wait. I’ll be thinking a lot about Morgana in the meantime. I hope I can make her, uh, an even better character.”

“I don’t wanna wait, either,” Chase groaned. “But I guess we do have to do tests and stuff.”

Jackie grinned. “Study hard, guys. I can make a good game for you all in the meantime. Maybe something more custom than this one. So your characters can really shine.”

I’m looking forward to it! JJ beamed. 

“We all are!” Marvin agreed.

Jackie laughed. “Well, uh... we’ve been down here for a while. It’s probably around time for you guys to go home.”

“Right, yeah.” Chase nodded. “I’ll call Mom, then.” He took his phone out of his pocket. Huh, that hadn’t been there while in the fantasy game. Maybe it was too modern.

“I’ll call my parents, too,” Stacy agreed.

“JJ and I can just go whenever,” Marvin said. “We biked here.”

“Well, before you go, take some snacks, at least,” Jackie said. “And the rest of you, feel free to eat while you wait for your parents to come pick you up.”

A few minutes later, JJ and Marvin said goodbye to the others, heading out on their bikes. They’d arrived here around two in the afternoon, and now it was evening, the shadows growing long. They had to leave quickly to get home before dark. As they left, Chase noticed JJ fumbling with something in his bag. Right... that weird doll. Being sucked into the game had made them all forget about that thing. They’d have to talk about that some more later.

Shortly after, Mom arrived to pick up Chase and Schneep. Stacy’s parents arrived around the same time, and they all said goodbye.

Chase stared out the window as they drove away. He wondered what else they could do while playing that game. It felt like they’d barely scraped the surface of the possibilities. He didn’t want it to be known that he was playing a nerdy game like Caverns and Creatures... but who cared? It was fun. It didn’t matter if the game was nerdy or not, as long as he was playing with his friends.

A shadow watched them all go. Anti was... confused. They’d talked about how fun it was after they thought he had left. So then... why had they shouted at him? Did they just want to lie to him? He didn’t like liars. But he still couldn’t help but like these guys. He didn’t get it.

Well, one thing was clear. If these guys could take down a giant monster in a game, they could handle the Circle. Maybe he should start pushing the two of them closer. He giggled to himself. Yes, that would be fun. He was already looking forward to it.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #septic egos au #jacksepticeye au #chase brody #dr schneeplestein #marvin the magnificent #jameson jackson #jackieboy man #antisepticeye #brigid writes fanfiction #pnptau

[lovable-bastard]

Some ideas that anyone can use

(w/ credit, you can change whatever you want) (i also may or may not write them)

Merlin

How We Change and Not

Basically BBC's Merlin, but with the parent's. The whole plot follows the love/hate relationship of Balinor & Uther, the immediate friendship of Ygraine & Balinor, the mutual hatred between Hunith & Uther and the suprise love of Ygraine & Uther. Some quest's and adventures on the side like the original series. Angst, fluff, banter, all that good stuff.

Over the Year

On new years eve Arthur comes back, to the suprise of Merlin and Leon (Immortal Leon for the win❗). Over the course of 2023 the knights come back, in their own "very them" ways, learn about the new world and learn to live in peace.

I just want the knights to come back and live a normal peaceful life!!! Also Merthur, but it's a side-plot. Because I love some found-family and platonic love.

New Old

S5!Merlin time travels to the past and try's to make this reality better (I can and will ignore the possible danger of it and I know you will to), while S1!Merlin gets a new mentor (can I call S5!Merlin a mentor?) and S1!Arthur gets gay panic every five minutes.

Merthur, reveal done early, Arthur accepting magic on his own pace, Morgana and Mordred getting the support they need, what else could you want :D !!!

Don't have name for this one yet

Based on the ep where we find Mordred, but instead of Mordred going into hiding he finds Merlin first, who pretends to be his brother. Mordred grows up in Camelot and never turns evil (and so doesn't Morgana), Merlin and Morgana become like older siblings to him, Arthur gets jealous, because they look like a family.

Just a fix-it fic, that I need :')

Glowing Like Gold In My Dreams

Reincarnated!Arthur and Reincarnated!Merlin have dreams of their past life, but they see different parts of it. By that I mean, in life Arthur saw Merlin as a lovable idiot, so now Merlin will dream of the more light-hearted moments, while Merlin saw Arthur as strong, funny, confident and generous and now Arthur will dream of the Merlin that past Arthur never got to see, at least not that much. And they both make art of it. Arthur paints beautiful paintings of his dreams that are all about Merlin and show how amazing he is. Merlin makes music with his band (he plays the violin and piano) about the funny, confident, kind, sarcastic dumbass that he dreams of and fell for.

(sorry for the longer explanation 😅 I just really like this idea and sorry for the maybe shit explanation it's 3:51 (am) and don't worry they do meet)

A Bouquet of Hydrangea's, Yellow and Red Rose's

Arthur gets turned into his 12 year old self, meets Merlin, who showers him with endless love and attention. Needless to say Arthur is confused, but doesn't want this strange man to ever leave. Arthur starts to love Merlin as a father more then his own, he seeks out Merlins approvel more then Uthers, his love, time, affection. And Merlin gives it to him with no problem.

(this summary sucked) Basically Arthur gets turned into his 12 year old self and Merlin acts like a father to him. Arthur gets attached. Arthur learns how to trust and love freely again. Oh and Merlin doesn't mind being seen as a father figure, he's suprised at first, but gets used to it.

Harry Potter

Wtf Is a Weasley?

Just a short fic about harry having his father's eyes & mother's hair and of course being confused as a Weasley by everyone. Even the Weasley's themselves.

Harry Potter and the Fucked Up Wizarding World

Harry at the age of 5 gets safed from the Dursleys and taken in by the Wilson's.

Until the age of 17 everything was wonderful! He had loving parents, one sibling that was his age and a family dog! But one day he meets 3 people who tell Harry what he is. A wizard. Of course he doesn't believe it in the beginning, but they prove that magic is real (they cast a 1st year spell).

Now he has to somehow fix the magic world and not fuck up.

#merthur #arthur pendragon #merlin #merlin emrys #the adventures of merlin #bbc merlin #merlin and arthur #my writing #balinor #hunith #mordred #ygraine pendragon #uther pendragon #time travel #fanfic #arthur pendragon comes back #so do the knights #immortal leon #harry potter #harry potter fic #ron and harry #harry and hermione

[sidleyparkhermit]

So, after a night of fitful slumber in which I literally had dreams where I was following Mattholomew Mercer around a crowded room demanding to know how two of the most powerful NPCs on the planet don't have a single legendary resistance between them (the economy is in shambles), I think I've managed to reverse-engineer a pathway to last night's result. I'm not claiming to know that this was Ludinus's method, but it shows one mechanically plausible way to do it, which I found interesting and will now share with you.

Please don't be weird on this post, this is for fun.

✨

How to orb a fucking CR21 immortal celestial champion

Make a lot of 9th level Scrolls of Glyph of Warding. According to Xanathar's this could take a long time, which is why it's item 1, but you've got time.

Settle on a specific target; you will need some kind of likeness of them as a spell component. (Actually, you'll need a lot of those. See below.)

Secure your site. If you have to change locations later on, you'll have to start this whole goddamn thing all over again.

Grid out the interior walls to optimally place a lot of Glyphs of Warding. 4a. At some point in all this planning, figure out how to give Imprisonment a range greater than the 30 feet stated in the PHB. Honestly this is not that wild; a freak like Ludinus has to have figured out a spell innovation at least once in his miserable life.

Use up a spell scroll to make the Glyph of Warding so you can use your 9th level spell slot to store the Imprisonment spell in it. Slap a mirror over it to hide it better. Go do whatever other evil things you have planned for today. Take a long rest. Repeat.

Repeat this a lot of times. It's fine. You have time. And money. The money's also important, since each casting is very expensive.

While steps 1-6 are going on, continue laying the trap for your target celestial. This is left as an exercise for the reader.

When your target celestial has manifested on the material plane at your location, activate all the glyphs simultaneously. 8a. This is as good a place as any to note the biggest problem I can find with this plan. RAW, a target that successfully saves against Imprisonment "is immune to this spell if you cast it again." For our purposes I'm counting the stored spells in this round as being cast effectively without a caster. But technically, you cast the spell to store it in each glyph. If the activated glyphs do count as spells you cast, none of this works. Only Jeremy Crawford knows for sure. (Matt probably texted him to ask, though.)

Each separate casting of Imprisonment will require your target to make a WIS saving throw against your spell save DC. They are all happening in a single turn, before your target would have a chance to flee the scene even if they wanted to. Your target will have a lot of innate defenses against this, probably including abilities that let them Just Win a certain number of times. That's okay. It only has to work once.

#critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #critical role #cr3e51 #matt mercer #ludinus da'leth #vax'ildan #dnd #vax really doesn't have legendary resistances in Tal'Dorei Reborn but I needed to come up with something that would work even if he did cuz #I think that's craaaaaazy; Fate-Touched is not good enough to replace those. so I'm just assuming he has 'em anyway.