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#c: and lemme tell you y'all how red my face was
ynbabe · 2 months
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We don’t hate each other ୨୧ Arthur x fem! reader
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Y/n was Ollie's oldest friend, growing up with him as he raced his way up to formula one, somewhere in between she found Arthur Leclerc, found him a massive fucking pain in the ass that is until something changes when Ollie debuts in Carlos Sainz Ferrari.
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A always, comments and requests are always welcome! lemme know what y'all think of this!
Warnings: curses, lime
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y/nl/n
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y/nl/n GET THIS MAN IN A FERRARI ASAP 💪 💪 💪 😮‍💨
Username they're relationship is so important to me actually
username arent they just friends?? username girl you believe that? LOOK AT THEM THEY'RE LITERALLY MARRIED username theyre 18 go touch grass pls 😭
username GET THAT MAN IN A FERRARI!!!
Username shes so real for that bow, ollies so cute 🥹
olliebearman thank you for the very serious pictures of me, a very serious, very profession man
y/nl/n "very serious, very professional man"🤓 shut up you literally cried in my arms when you got called olliebearman i'm telling my pr officer to block you username did what in whose arms now?? username oooh so hes in love love
arthurleclerc Way to go Ols!
y/nl/n gtfo my post arthurleclerc gtfo off my fyp y/nl/n block me bitch arthurleclerc too much effort, cry olliebearman guys you're in public 😭
username whats with Arthur and Y/N? 😅
Username they're competing for Ollies love Username bro you wrong for that 😂
arthurleclerc
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arthurleclerc to MY bestfriend, congratulations on making it to Ferrari and f1! You deserve the best! Hope my brother treated you well.
username SHOTS!! HAVE!! BEEN!! FIRED!!
Username he know he wrong for that first photo
Username okay wait. How do both Leclerc have a Wattpad ass gay romance is it genetic??
Username bro all capped the my 😭
username mans petty as hell
username @/y/nl/n me personally, I wouldn't take that
username hes stealing your man girl go get him!!
oliiebearman Thank you Arthur! Yes he did!
arthurleclerc ur welcome ols ❤️ username @/y/nl/n were waiting for you boo username its the red heart for me Username Charles come get your brother!!! he's cosplaying you and max on main again
y/nl/n Congrats Ollie!! love you 🥰 (Not gonna make this abt myself like some other girls)
arthurleclerc revoking ur paddock pass btw 🥰 Olliebearman ... I'm blocking you both 🥰
username mans done with them 😂
You rolled your eyes as you saw Arthur's comment on yours, how could he be so childish. Forget it, you reminded yourself, today is for Ollie and Ollie only.
You waited in Ollie's driver room till he was done with the debrief, you'd go out to celebrate with him and his family later. His trainer had given him a pass on the diet, after all, scoring points in F1 was no joke.
You jumped off the chair you were lounging in, ready to hug the man as you heard the door open but to your disappointment, it was only Arthur.
You groaned as you saw the boy and he scowled in return. You never knew how your rivalry began. One moment you were visiting Ollie for the first time at Prema and the next you were in a screaming match with a Monagasuque man with the cutest accent.
"What are you doing?" He asked, rather, demanded.
"Waiting for my friend," you replied with the same annoyance in your voice, "What are you doing here?" you accused, stepping towards him.
He pulled a face, closing the gap, "Here to support my friend, you know cause we can actually stand each other,"
"Hah, sure, at least I'm not jealous of my friends, you know cause they actually make it into f1," you shrugged, knowing it was a low blow.
His face morphed into anger as he pushed closer towards you, "You need to shut up," he spoke in a low voice, you'd be scared of the taller, much stronger boy if you weren't doused in anger yourself.
"Make me then," why did you say that- Oh shit.
Your eyes widened as he kissed you, making both of you stumble back and fall on Ollie's driver room bed. You groaned as your back hit the mattress, the older boy breaking the kiss, looking down at you in concern.
"O-oh, my god! Y/n I'm so sorry, I don't know wh-" he began rambling but you couldn't let him win, could you? So you kissed him back, letting your hands run through his hair.
He led one hand to your waist, letting it fall under your shirt, he hissed at the warmth your skin radiated under his palms.
"Oh my god, OH MY GOD," Someone yelled, making Arthur push off the bed, and fall on the floor.
"Ollie this isn't what it looks like," he explained from the floor making you frown.
"It isn't?" you asked making him turn to you.
"No, it is," he explained to you, then turned to shocked Ollie in the doorway, "I mean- it is," he tried to explain.
Ollie paused for a moment, "On my bed, really?" he replied, disgust in his voice.
You picked up the pillow on his now messed up bed, throwing it at his head, "Shut up,"
He laughed as he ducked, "Hey, at least none of us had to intervene," he confessed making you and the boy who was now getting up off the floor groan in defeat.
olliebearman
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olliebearman never make out in my room again, I beg you
Y/nl/n sorry I stole your boyfriend, Ols
arthurleclerc you are still the love of my life, y/n's just a friend olliebearman DO NOT START THIS AGAIN
Username HUH?
username chat is this real rn? username fr thought they hated each other username bro said he was going to get his Wattpad enemies to lovers one way or the other
username Charles Leclerc it's your turn now.
charlesleclerc So all the ranting actually led to something?
y/nl/n he talks about me?? arthurleclerc NO I DIDN'T! Charles shut up or I'll tag someone you rant about. Charleslecler y/n changed you i dont like this relationship anymore username WHAT DO YOU MEAN??? Username First we get Arthur x y/n and now we are getting Charles read like filth 😭
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trying something new, thoughts?
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hornyhornyhimbos · 1 year
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NSFW Alphabet ~ Steve Harrington Edition
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warnings and tags: MINORS DNI (18+) lots of mentions of oral m!receiving, piv smut but not really, missionary sex, cowgirl sex, and lotus sex are all talked about, mentions of quickies, mentions of toys, honestly there's probably more but i'm too lazy to look LMAO
SFW version can be found over on my ST blog - @honeysuckleharringtons
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A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)
This man is so lovey-dovey. Lemme tell y'all. You spend an hour having sex, you're getting two hours of cuddles afterward. As soon as you both finish, his arms are immediately wrapped around your torso and he's trailing soft kisses along your collarbone. It's safe to say his favorite after sex activity, cuddles for days.
Now, as for you. He is always making sure you get whatever you need. But he is a little dumb sometimes so you do have to occasionally say, "Hey, can we get after-sex snacks?" but once you say it, he's sprinting down the stairs to make you a bowl of your favorite cereal.
B = Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and their favorite body part of yours)
His hair. There's a reason he was called "The Hair" in high school. He actually loves having a good hair routine and takes pride in having a nice appearance. I just feel like he has a really good relationship with his hair, yk?
As for you my darling, I can't unsee this man being a boob guy. Like A-Cups? The perfect size to hold in his hands! D-Cups? The perfect place to lay his head when watching a movie. Every titty is a good titty.
But if we're talking non-sexual, he just really likes all of you. Every inch of your body has something different to offer him, how could he choose?
C = Cum (any cum-related headcanons)
He loves watching you swallow his cum. He loves it when it dribbles down your chin and your tongue juts out to catch it. He loves when he pulls out and it spatters all over his stomach and you just lick your way around his stomach. He loves that you love his taste.
D = Dirty Secret (any dirty secret of theirs)
Before the two of you got comfortable with the idea of phone sex, he used to jack off while looking at a Polaroid of the two of you from his family's summer cookout, taking in how beautiful your body looked in that teeny red bikini.
E = Experience (do they know what they're doing?)
Safe to say, this man got his fair share of bitches in high school. HOWEVER those were just hook-ups. You were the one who taught him the difference between hooking up and making love.
You also taught him that lotus is his favorite position but that's a conversation for later 🤭
F = Favorite Position (self-explanatory)
Hey, look it's later!
Up until you, Steve had always had very vanilla, missionary-style sex. He thought it was the closest he could get with a partner, holding their hands as he watched them climax beneath him. That was, until he came in one day and saw you reading a Cosmo magazine.
The article had been about "5 Sex Positions You Need to Try ASAP!" So naturally, he peeked over your shoulder to see what the article had been all about.
Though he thought he was as stealthy as a ninja, his hot breath tickled your neck and you nearly knocked him out with the magazine when you turned to face him, not realizing he'd made it to your place yet.
So once you registered it was him, it struck up a conversation about spicing up your love life. You didn't really need the help, you were in the rabbit stage of your relationship, but it didn't hurt to ask. And so, you presented him the illustration of the lotus position and expressed interest in it. Needless to say, he was gone from there.
He loves the intimacy of it. The forced proximity, the need for eye contact, the feeling of your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms over his shoulders, one usually at his nape, tugging the little waves that sit there. He especially loves that it gives him very easy access to your boobs.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Definitely depends on the situation. If it's an anniversary or something special, he makes it as romantic as he can. But if you're having a quickie on his lunch break, he's laughing his ass off at how clumsy the two of you are being in the supply closet. He's a sarcastic ass so that doesn't help matters either.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they?)
He keeps it pretty clean-shaven I'd say. He struggles with insecurities of how curly it is so it kind of bothers him to look at. Plus he knows it tickles your nose when you go down on him so he just feels there's more harm than good from not shaving it.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment?)
As previously mentioned, Steve is always a hand-holder during missionary (and during cowgirl too when he's not holding your tits). As previously mentioned, his favorite position is lotus. It's safe to say, this man's love language is quality time and he LOVES romance and intimacy.
J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanons)
He rarely jacks off. That's what you're for, right?
No but in all seriousness, the only time he will is if you aren't spending the night together and he just really needs it. Then he'll call you up for a good ol' round of phone sex. Your voice is enough to get him off anyway, so why not take advantage of it every now and again?
K = Kink (any or all of their kinks)
Oh, this man and his praise kink. He didn't receive much praise growing up, so the little "Doing so good, Stevie's" and "Look so beautiful inside me, babe's" really make him feel good about himself.
He also enjoys edging and orgasm denial/delay. He loves when you're giving him a handy or a BJ and just... pull away. Something about letting go and giving someone else control instead of being uptight and stressed from work, it just feels so good to him.
L = Location (favorite place to do the do)
Surprisingly, he probably enjoys good ol' bed sex the most. It just feels natural, like that's where the two of you should be together forever.
Though one of his favorite memories is when he bent you over the kitchen table one day while passing the time until dinner finished cooking. He also likes car sex, the possibility of getting caught when you're parked in a random parking lot/parking garage, and the closeness of it.
M = Motivation (what gets them going?)
Oh, he LOVES lingerie. One time he came home to you cooking dinner in nothing but one of his t-shirts and a brand new pair of lacy blue panties peeking out from underneath and he FOLDED.
N = No (something they'd never do, turn-offs, etc.)
If you ever asked him about any form of scat play (piss, shit, vomit, any of it) he'd be out of there so fast. While he doesn't particularly like his parents, his mama raised him to be a very neat individual and he knows how many germs are in that shit (literally) so scat play is a big N-O from him.
O = Oral (preference in giving/receiving, skill, etc.)
He loves both. Him receiving happens more often because there's no way you'd ever say no to having his dick slammed down your throat, but he loves both.
As for skill, you definitely had to show him how to give head. He'd always been curious, but Tommy H. had always told him about how nasty it was the couple times he'd tried it on Carol so it wasn't until he was older that he'd opened back up to the idea. Luckily for him, you were very happy to be the first contestant.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Depends on the overall mood and vibes. He loves those nights where all is quiet, he puts on candles and lets you have a nice, hot bath while he sets up the most romantic scene you have ever seen. But he's definitely not opposed to a quickie, he LOVES the fast pace, the possibility of getting caught (because he loves the idea of anyone and everyone see the hold that no one but he has on you).
Q = Quickie (opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Oh, this man and his quickies. It's pretty much a part of your daily routine to have a quickie in the shower. It starts on the premise of "saving water by showering together" but really, it's just easy access to having sex and keeping yourselves awake for work.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He's not one to experiment unless it's something you wanna do. He's very much a creature of habit and unless it's something he knows he'll like, he's never gonna ask you to try new things. However, if you come to him and ask "hey, i was thinking of trying xyz in the bedroom" he'll fold in a second.
As for risks, wowwee does this man love the idea of getting caught. Having quickies at work, car sex in a parking lot, leaving the curtains open occasionally, having sex in the bathroom when the party's one room over in the living room. He loves the risk of showing off the things only he can do to you.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
How many rounds definitely depends on the vibes. Like if it's for an anniversary, he's making sure he's well rested the night before because he's not going to sleep until you've cum at least 5 times. But if it's just like casual, everyday routine type sex, he'll probably only cum like once or twice and make sure you've cum as many times as you need to before he's out like a light.
As for how long he lasts? This man can go for HOURS without cumming from all the orgasm delay and edging he's received from you.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themself?)
He definitely owned a fleshlight before meeting you but he didn't need it anymore so he just threw it out. idk that they weren't invented until the 90s fight me bitch
Now as for you, when the occasional Dom!Steve shows up, he LOVES watching you squirm when he's pressing a vibrator to all the places you need it but not giving it to you long enough to cum.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He loves being teased as opposed to teasing you but as previously mentioned, Dom!Steve makes an occasional appearance and when he does, buckle up girlfriend, buckle the fuck up.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He definitely doesn't make noises, he's much more of a "moaning your name" or a string of "fuck fuck fucks" rather than just incoherent moans.
He isn't like too loud unless it's warranted. Like during quickies, he gets loud because it raises the probability of getting caught but overall, he's not super loud unless you tell him to be.
W = Wild Card (random headcanon)
He loves thigh riding as much as you do.
Also he loves titty-fucking.
X= X-Ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)
As @writer-in-theory once said, compression pants. 'Nuff said.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Pretty high in the beginning of your relationship but definitely goes down after the rabbit stage. Not that he's gonna say no to sex, he's just not asking for it every thirty minutes.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He's out like a light as soon as aftercare is over. Like after you shower up, he's asleep as soon as he hits the pillow.
However, morning sex really wakes him up. It's quite a juxtaposition depending on what time of day you're having sex.
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-> taglist: @liberhoe @writer-in-theory @esoltis280
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232 notes · View notes
rainbowgod666 · 5 months
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Sonic.exe: (drunk as shit) an' uh- you... y... uuuhhh... honestly? Your girl isss... rreeEALLYy cool actshtually... (demoman noises) aa- at leasth you donth av to let a one offf phrase thefine yu...
SCP-166 Epon: (showing off her eìre goddess side) y- yuyeaahhh... thscanks for teaching her about... th-uuuhh thE SECOND AMENDMENT (she- did she fucking down half a pint of hard liquor like th- IS THAT IN THE "APOCALYPSE KNIGHT" CODE?) WOOOOOOOOOO! thiss... thissum gus shite i tellyahwat...- anyway ye t- think its hardd? Boi lemme tell ye, im suppos' ta be the Foundation's WAIFU! And thossshshshsheee...ff... fUCKs go after... (sighs) the fuckin' furrybait shy girll
Sonic.exe: prEaCh girl, thats... thatsh whut ye learned from whenyou uh... l-lived in a c...hurch
Epon: y-yuh cause like... me father's alto cLef yknow??? He focken döömped me thaer! Me name meansh fucken MEESTÆK in HEBREw! Like???
Sonic.exe: at leASt yer creatorshnot a fuken EDGELORD! HAAAAA
(They both drown the cringe in alcohol)
Herobrine: the top sniper of the Creepypasta Unit and the Second Knight of the Apocalypse everyone. (Disappointment intensifies)
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Tumblr furry: hang on, i get to stay AWAKE and it still counts as anesthesia?
Aubergine Man: its some SCP shit but its actually harmless (turns on red lightsaber) anyway, you said you wanted to transition?
Tumblr furry: yes pls i need the gender euphoria
Aubergine Man: Based.
Aubergine Man: also you get a free blåhaj after gender-affirming surgery and you get three months of hormones free of charge, but then you need a renewal service and depending on the fandom the price can change-
Gaster (from the storage room): afton PLEASE dont advertise during sURGERY
Orochimaru, all the way from the office: yeah! Its annoying!
Aubergine Man William Afton: ah whatever, anyway time for some personalized genital moddding :D
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Eric: so... uuhhh
Kyle: no, i wont tell anybody WHAT you used as the generator for dickinbaus
Butters: you promise?
Kyle: considering that i just saw 30 SCPs taped toghether to generate infinite energy from a taco-bell induced diharrea attack from cartman, yeah
Eric: good.
Eric: so... (looms at butter) you wanna do a nuclear warcrime? I want to staple a nuclear reactor to the dickinbaus
Butters: yeah! Nuclear energy!!!
Kyle: what the fuck is wrong with you two
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Pomni: what is this... white space?
Ink: welcome to the anti-void
Uncle grandpa: its basically an infinite canvas at the bottom of the undertale multiverse.
Dr.bright: its also a physical version of the Noosphere
Pomni:... a- (spontaneous combustion)
I fucking told y'all
(All the charachters that ever canonically knew or had access to a "white space" like the undertale anti-void/uncle grandpa "intermission space" proceed to nod, agree, and talk about how such a simple concept is THIS complex apparently)
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MONIST-1 RA: when i discovered that "Deimos" is also the name of a Madcom Charahcter i... genuinely liked this rock even more
Metat Aun: some people compare me to a scene of an extremely ancient cradle film... "2001 space odissey"... whatever tf that means
P.O.L.L.V.X.: a pilot canonically "pacified" me by having yaoi seggs with me
(Everyone embarassed)
Lancer!Alex (callsign ALPHA): (face bursts from pavement like he got shot from a basement or shit) and i would do it agaaain~
(All NHPs are now currently screaming in abject fear at the UwU NHP-Fucker pilot)
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Collector: why are we in ukraine?
Sonic.exe: i wanna teach you how to use a sniper rifle by killing some REALLY bad russian generals
Collector:... considering my lore, i would like you to define "bad"
Sonic.exe: the one we're "hunting" rn? He kills 10% of his squad every time they lose. And they lose A LOT.
Collector:...
Sonic.exe: were using Alex's "special ammo". This one is .65 BMG, Telekill/Depleted Uranium anti-tank DARPA. And theyre encased in fucking NuclearCraft Extreme Alloy. Because the powder used is so reactive it makes caesium and water look like a fart in a kids cartoon.
Collector:... (realizes that theyre basically launching nukes out of a customized-af barrett) what the fuck is Alex ON when he does these things???
Sonic.exe: the autistic spectrum
Collector: oh yeah right
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(48??u or something idk)
Xian Xiaoli: i need a melee weapon but all i have is the pieces to make a shotgun the size of a Barbarossa!
RA, from a busted radio: then do it?
Xian: how???
RA: let me use my Funny OP-plz-nerf Paracasualty Powers
Xian Xiaoli: (MONIST-1 RA enlightened noises)
Xian Xiaoli: (shudders) whOOH! That actually felt kinda good... thanks!
RA: any day girl!
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Shinji: just so you know, i figured that you didnt wanna do this to "save humanity"
Kaworu: how did you know?
Shinji: Kaworu, we have been lovely breeding each other for 6 hours straight. Its 2 AM and were naked under the covers while we cant feel our S H L O N G S anymore, this is TOO gay to be a "world-saving effort", and honestly?
Shinji, fully embracing kaworu: i wouldnt have any other way ❤️
(They then kept being lovebirds throughout the entire night. Rei was the only one who knew about this but shes based enough that when Asuka asked her she roundhouse kicked her into the wall) (because rei is THUG LIFE BAYBEEEE)
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SCP-096: wait, WHAT
Umbral: yeah, my name is like this because he thought "Number 96" sounded dumb. And one day he goes "actually when I watched the anime i never figured out your name" SO NOW HERE WE ARE!
096: at least its a good name...?
Umbral: THATS THE ONLY UPSIDE-
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Betê Noire betty: please tell me you're joking.
Bright: yep. Were now Alex's OCs because our creatore were associate with Predators
Betty: what
Bright: yeah hes like that
Betty: ALEX IS "LIKE THAT"? HE PHYSICALLY WANTS PEDERASTY TO REMAIN A THING OF THE GREEKS AND NOT A CRIME. Which would be good... IF HE DIDNT WANNA ANTIMEMETICS HUB IT OUT OF THE HUMAN PSYCHE
Bright: yep. He has good intentions, but sonetimes the way he goes about them are... excessively violent.
Betty: and he excuses his mistakes with autism?
Bright: only when its ACTUALLY the autism
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Hank: no you dont get it- Rye is the girlfriend, and Chelsea is the emoticona support pillow
Chelsea: exactly
Rye: (whispers to chelsea) wait so we take turns?
Chelsea: (whispers back) yeah girl, i got the assets but you got the wholesome
Rye: (whispering) aww tysm
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Hunter: honestly nice UNO win there, anyways why are we in your room and what did you mean by "taking your rewar-"
Willow: (stretches Vine like whip)
Hunter: (blushing HARD) oh shit-
(30 mins later, in the living room)
The collector: (staring right at Luz and Amity with the eyes of somebody that is 👌 this close to SNAPPING.) this is what i hear every fucking time i just wanna play pokemon in PEACE, and you two decide to give more material to the "next generation" part of our fandom.
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Monika: ok no seriously Alex, your mom is right- YOU CANT BUY MORE YUGIOH DUDE STAHP
Need content for unboxing. ( ◕_◕)
Monika: (mental breakdown) why are you like this
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Bright: i still feel you did something REALLY stupid
Clef: RE-LAAAAAX. Alex is a literal eigenweapon but he has a moral compass, hes gonna go there and do the job
Shaw: clef. You basically unleashed the only thing that can kill 682 (and then ressurrect it for "natural order" bullshit) on a small CI platoon that managed to get SCP-882.
Shaw: you sent a nuclear bomb eater to recover a nuclear bomb from nuclear thieves
Clef: (realizes that he is gonna be the reason the Veil is gonna be used as a hanging rope for the CI) fuck.
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Epon: why does my "knight" form... excite you so much
Sìgurros: girl, look me in the eyes and TELL me that "fiery war goddes of bare-handed murder with toned abs and large bazonkas" isnt peak waifu
Epon: (teary-eyed from the compliment) t...thank youuuu 🥺
Sìgurrós: exactly :3
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Benjamin kirby Tennyson: i feel like i am forgetting something important
Rex salazar: well you know how the reference goes
Daniel Fenton: if you forgot then it wasnt important!
Ben: u guys are right :3 its probably nothing
(Meanwhile, a few trilion lightyears from earth...)
Alex (Gear5): Ğømü ģòmų ñô...
Divinity: WAIT PLEASE NO-
Alex (Gear5): MÜŁŤÏVĘŘŚÉ ĞÂŤĻĪŃĞ!
Divinity: (cant speak on account of getting fisted from across every fandom ever at once)
_______________________________
Belos: what.
Luz: yeah so... Alex is about to kill us all
Alex (Gear5) Alex-ULTIMATE FORM : GOMU GOMU NO-
Collector: and its all your fault
Amity: and YOU wanted to join forces with him
Odalia: yeah i know dear daughter, i mean- you get a girlfriend that is a human with less manners than a wild animal? Eh i can survive that. The literal emperor of the boiling isles being not only ugly, misoginistic and bigoted, but also a massive idiot? Oh titan NOPE
Hunter: yeah... considering what he did until now, if i knew he was THIS stupid i would have defected the instant i saw someone else even remotely smart
Alex-ULTIMATE FORM:
DIGAMMA METEOR!
Eda: congratulations, youre a failure
Belos:what-
(And then everyone died in a gigantic HBM mod themed explosion because yes.) (AND there was epic music behind it because here in italy we use sick beats as condiment for explosions)
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Herobrine: between Entity303 using all our internet connection for yaoi, and SCP-4335 basically being kirby but with even less braincells?
Herobrine: better than the screming italians and their constant overkillage anyway
Bill: the what
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Scunt player: what... ARE you?
Alex, omnitrix transformation 250 "team fortress" version SCOUT ultimate form cyberpsychosis scout: im... your upgrade?
Scunt player: that explains the green
Cyberpsychosis scout: those are a ben 10 reference
The entire fucking server: (peeks to see whats happening) what.
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Jax: you know, i get that i need to be nicer to others...
Jax: but INFINITE OVER-THE-TOP ULTRAVIOLENT TORTURING IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED
Talloran: BOO! GROW A PAIR!
Jax: (crying in existential pain)
Lmao get rekt
Pomni:... why do i feel satisfied looking at this
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Pomni: i want to kill.
Caine: what
Pomni: (looks right at caine) you will be the last one to see this place die.
Caine: what???
Ragatha: (blushing) woah uh-
Pomni: (points to ragatha) you shall reign over the aftermath of my fury.
Ragatha:... thats actually kinda hot ngl
Caine: WHAT THE-
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049: im sorry what
1048: ok look we get it sounds weird but-
2295: we want to build an EVA unit!
049: WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME-
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(Downtime action "Go Diving", gain result 6)
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ALPHA: what the fu-
SCP-035: so uhm... if you ever need to know, SCP stuff is compatible with this setting but uuuuhhh... NOT the other way around!
ALPHA: i have questions and that wasnt one of them
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Chara: why does the fnaf movie have a scene where a child does MY "eyes bleeding void" thing?
G. Freddy: in that film im the 「stand」 of a little girl and matpat is there to do the "just a theory" line. Dont ask wtf were the producers smoking
____________________________________
Sonic.exe after hearing about the "pissing on the moon" incident: yeah sure, like eggman actually DID that...
(A few hours later)
Sonic.exe: (traumatized)
Sonic: we told you.
Shadow: seriously, he was drunk, what did you expect.
Sonic.exe: (broken innocence noises)
Tails: is he gonna have that thousand-yard stare for long? I need somebody to debug a program...
__________________________________
Baby: i excuse the glorified dress-up but i draw the line at tHIS
Afton: (doing the California Girls meme as a mass of wires in the Vanny costume... all while the "proportions" are "exaggerated") this is how its fucken done :>
Gregory: really. THIS is the villain of the series?
Baby: the film removed all the nuance dear
Gregory: sick claw tho
Baby: ty
____________________________________
Cyana: (looks around)
Cyana:
Cyana:.
Cyana:..
Cyana:...
Cyana: where the fuck am i.
___________________________________
Susie: kris where the fuck are we
Kris: this is the chernobyl reactor in 1989, we are here because Towa from DBXV wants to stop Boris The Slav Superstar to crawl out of Reactor 4
Susie: oh yeah, side gig at the dragonball time patrol, i remember
Kris: you need some Omega-3 girl
Susie: where the fuck do i find all that fish tho?
Kris: do i LOOK like i would know?
__________________________________
Herobrine: ma dici che qualcuno ci fa caso che noi due (come tutti) sappiamo l'italiano
Sans: seeeeeeeeh come se qualcuno ci facesse caso
Herobrine: la "libreria" a snowdin si chiama "librerbia".
Sans: ...senti un pò blockman-
____________________________________
Alex: im 70% sure this is normal
Cross: Alex, Xgaster is getting springlocked
Alex: yeah thats what i said
Xgaster: (suffering for his fandom crimes in an excessively graphic way)
_______________________________________
Astolfo: being in the testosterone squad is actually really based
(postal dude does a terrorism)
Astolfo: i mean, the only reason im here is that all my testosterone went in my Monster Can and im also pretty sure its also a health problem for future me but hey i get to be the sniper because i have the lowest T of all the squad
Astolfo: (another Gmod explosion in the background) which is probably ANOTHER health hazard. but Duke smokes literal kilos of cigars a day, Postal dude heals using crack, and im pretty sure Slayer is like, 1% Biologically Human so im... probably fine!
Astolfo: we get full health benefits (not just dental) and we kill people as the most masculine team ever, so we're not getting bored anytime soon
(another fucking explosion but this time its CLOSER???) (boi wut dhehel boi)
______________________________________________
Cimmerian: i have no idea WHY am i able to kill Alex by telling him hes wrong.
Cimmerian: and at this point? im not fucking asking.
________________________________________________
Frisk: wait, how did we end up like this?
Betty: see, the thing is, Alex rewrote like three AUs toghether and taped them to eachother, and it WORKED. years later we do wacky adventures and right now were fighting plantera
Asriel, currently escaping from the funny omega flowey joke: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FU-
Frisk: yeah its the last part thats confusing
Chara (flying on a- thats a fucking jetpack): Dimensional Breach. we are going deep into Asriel's Terraria file to grab a zenith and unfuck things up back there
Frisk: ok... still doesnt explain asriel's starter weapon being a funny prism tho
__________________________________________
Massive wave of mindustry drones all ominously chanting the "hamburger cheeseburger big mac whopper" song:
Alex: so yeah, im gonna out-drone robotnik
Sonic:...
Sonic:... compared to eggman, robotnik is fucking insane
Sonic.exe: and extremely pathetic
Sonic: exactly my (technically our) point, but still; Alex. WHAT THE FUCK
Alex: IM GETTING THIS FUCKING SECTOR
IM GETTING THIS FUCKING SECTOR
Sonic.exe: oh no hes doing that thing where hes both in and out of this reality
Sonic: fuck
____________________________________________________
Ink: so uhm... should we do something about that?
(SCP-3125 stuck in the threads holding the papers that make the Undertale Multiverse while other SCP gods try to pull him out)
Error: NAAAAAH
__________________________________________________
Uncle sam: (turns out to be an immortal sarkic man that genuinely wants to help)
[REDACTED]: let him cook.
_______________________________________
Vriska: 4r3 y0u 3v3r g0nn4 w47ch 0ur 53r135?
Tf do i know
Vriska: FU-
_____________________________
Shaggy: like zoinks scoob
Shaggy: we fell in the backrooms
Scooby: ruh roh
________________________________________________
Rick:... tumblr is-
Emptier than you expect?
Rick: yeah.
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benkenobee · 3 years
Photo
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ROB ROY (1995) dir. Michael-Caton Jones “And what did he do to you? Your selkie?” “You wakened me before the best of it. But he would have ravished me for certain.”
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denkisdurag · 4 years
Text
midoriya, todoroki, bakugo x black!fem!reader (platonic! but they like u aw)
summary : you call them pet names and they're just kinda like 😳🥵🥰 (headcanon)
warnings: swearing, mention of sex
a/n: my first post :D tbh i only started watching the show like two days ago and i'm mad at myself for it like why the f u c k did i not watch it sooner and if you're wondering, yes i am a bakugo and todoroki simp
gif credit to gif owners !
am i doing this right
---
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izuku midoriya !
let's get this out of the way first
he l o v e s you
the way the sun radiates on your skin, the way your hair tends to defy gravity
everything
he often thinks of how he got so lucky to only be your friend
oh how he wishes you could be more 😔
but anyway
one of things he loves most about you
tHE WAY YOU TALK
YOUR URBAN ACCENT AND SLANG IS JUST
🥺✨💕🦋🥴❤️🧚🏾‍♀️🍒🧸
TO HIM
so when you call him by any pet name
literally any pet name at all
it's fucking o v e r
exhibit a
*spills drink on himself*
"ooh, lemme help you with that, hon."
the way his face visibly brightened at the offer
adorable
not that you noticed
exhibit b
"um, [n-name], can you help me with this?"
you turn around from talking to your friend, kiri.
"sure, sweetie, whatchu need?"
he turned as red as a freshly picked tomato
tbh, for a second, he forgot what he needed to ask you
exhibit c
"i-is this right?"
"ooh," you said, trying to be nice but your tone seeped through. "baby, no."
he didn't even care he got it wrong
he only cared about the way you called him baby
the way it rolled off your tongue so easily
how you obviously didn't feel awkward calling everyone you knew by those pet names, even though none of them were actually your significant other
and it only worked for you
only you could call everyone (especially him) love-y pet names and remain unbothered
it was your brand
i could give you more examples but i think you get it
so yeah
deku + pet names = uwu overload
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shoto todoroki !
todoroki would be much more subtle when it came to how he felt about pet names
he didn't necessarily mind
just thought they were more appropriate for actual couples
although he wouldn't be opposed to that either
like when he made a mistake
he would mutter a "sorry"
and then you would just be like
"it ain't no problem, suga, it ain't no problem."
and he just fucking loved it
you could tell that he was more reserved than others so you tried to break him out of his shell more and more everyday
so when you just sit next to him one day and say
"hey, baby! how we feelin' today?"
he doesn't really know how to respond
not because he was being his usual, quiet self
but because
'what did she just call me?'
it threw him off
"babe? you good?" you said, waving your hand in front of his face
it brought him back to earth but flustered him for a second time as you called him "babe" again
you seemed so comfortable with it
you could just.. say those things without hesitation
and it both confused and amazed him that it was so easy for you
that you didn't see anything wrong with what you were saying
he wasn't used to this
but if it was you
then maybe he'd learn to adapt
"huh? yeah, yeah, i'm okay."
aw he's soft
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katsuki bakugo !
he doesn't understand
like he's so mean to you
and you just retaliate with cute titles like "babyboy"
he's frustrated that he can't get to you
and even more frustrated that he found your pet-name-calling attractive
even though he found you attractive anyways but that's besides the point
sitting in class 1-a, y'all were in the middle of the battle you had daily, him trying to get under your skin, and you turning him down, adding words like "honey" to pour salt on the wound
"i'm stronger than you anyway. you're nothing. pathetic." he cringed in his mind, as he knew he didn't believe that at all.
"oh, that's cute. baby, you think i ain't know that?"
he mentally frowned
not only because you still seemed unbothered
but because you implied that you thought lowly of yourself
and to be honest,
he thought you were strong as hell
he was often impressed of you
dare i say, intimidated
but of course, he's bakugo so he wasn't going to simply leave you alone like that
as you stood and walked toward uraraka at the front of the class, he tried to send a fireball at your back
but ur a big brain
using your manipulation quirk, you redirected the explosion away from you
"not today, pretty boy," he slightly softened at the sound of you calling him pretty boy, but then immediately got more angry as it was obviously patronizing
"but i fuck witchu for trying." this nearly pushed him over the edge
but there was nothing he could do
no attack he could use
that you wouldn't predict and counter first
that's one of the things he admired about you
not that he ever admit it 😤
"i hate you." he muttered, but you just barely heard it.
"love you too, babe."
oh how he just wanted to take you to his dorm and see what names you'd call him then 😍
cHILE ANYWAYS LMFAOO
he didn't focus very well for the rest of class as you kept winking and whispering pet names that were obviously aimed at him
he's babie idc
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organic-guacamole · 3 years
Text
episode 210 here we go
awww seb doing the intro
congratulations to milky white and her baby chocolate milk😌
seb is so funny
but seriously, clean up that milk fast or else it will smell so bad in there....
was that Lauryn just randomly doing cartwheels? idk any theatre kids irl but that seems like it's a common thing...
is it just me or has ms Jenn been getting more harsh to Ricky and Seb mainly-
like what did they do to her
no because I actually snorted with laughter at the "you came back" WHAT IS THAT VOICE-
AND THE MASK OMG
yeah so my throat hurts now
I'm dying over here
KOURTNEY'S FACE
SAME GIRL SAME
Ricky's fake death got the whole place in tears /s
he looks like an asthmatic walrus
Seb's on piano, I love
we all know if he was the beast we'd all actually be crying✋
ok but I listen to Julia's version of home on Spotify when I want to cry-
right so gimme a second
is Ricky scratching his face.....while he's dying?
"belle i-" *flop*
round of applause to Ashlyn for trying to make Ricky's earthworm seizure look less.... yknow
Kourtney's just dying there
WAIT IS THAT NATALIE
did she really just disappear for 9 episodes just to come back and stare dramatically into the camera
WAIT SCRATCH THAT SHES HERE TO MURDER ASHLYN AND RICKY
oh so Ricky's wearing a gay shirt now too
so that's the real reason why Rini broke up, see y'all next season when Gini and caswen become canon /j
wait that was a long intro scene-
what was that look Carlos-
TALK TO MY BOY OR ELSE
carlos' run is so funny to me
therapist Ashlyn to the rescue
"that is...super" son you good?
ms Jenn call Benjamin, he would willingly put his loved ones on a rocket and blast them into Venus for you....
maybe
"I don't want you kids to be disappointed" girl you do realise you're the one that's most invested in this?
"a smooth opening night" wasn't there just 1 show though-
like their opening night was closing night too
"I think I was Troy at one point" PLEASE THATS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE
me Jenn looks like a serial killer during that clap and I'm lowkey scared for zacky
"I have notes"
oo if you're taking suggestions, lemme get my list
"mother is freaking out" uhhhhhh
right....'mother"
"is everyone sitting down?"
*looks around awkwardly*
*big red slowly sits*
"no..."
please seb was the only one sitting-
does that mean Carlos looked at Seb as soon as he walked in and assumed that everyone else was sitting too or am I a seblos clown🤡
"is this about the transformation"
WOW MAYBE OT IS RICKY
WOW HES A DETECTIVE FOR FIGURING THAT OUT SO QUICK🤩
YO WHY IS NATALIE HERE-
she just shows up when it's convenient? is she gonna be at the sleepover too?
Seb's heavy swallow after Carlos shouts at him makes me so sad
"I never learned how to lie but I figure if I keep my mouth closed, I can't tell the truth" *nods and smiles at Nini when she asks*
why are they casually standing up all over the pizza shop, just sit at a big table and talk instead of blocking passageways and blocking off at least 6 tables-
"how about I invite myself" WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO ASHLYN'S HOUSE-
YOU CAN ASK BUT JUST FORCE YOUR WAY IN?
so Cash Caswell has a bigger house than... Dennis Caswell.... who would've thought
ah yes there's the good old EJ 1.0
Nini: "boys vs girls"
Gina: *looks devastated and glances longingly at EJ*
way to be inconspicuous
"but north high should be" *cracks her knuckles in the most uncomfortable way*
good for Ashlyn for getting more confident though
oo bossy big red
"i get bossy around the power tools"
is that why Ashlyn was holding up the drill in episode 8 orrrr 🤠
oh
Lily, leave him alone please
she's literally not blinking, is that what makes her creepy?
the diss at big red and his face afterwards is priceless
isn't that similar to what Gina's mom said to her in season 1? hmmmm
but seriously please don't try to redeem lily, let us have a character to hate, or to love because they're evil.
not everyone's a good guy.
"im not liked here and I don't know what to do"
let antoine finish his salad and it'll fix everything
"hug emoji" *gags*
y'all realize Lily's literally 14?
why is she calling a 16/17 year old from another school for personal advice-
"he gets weird around tools"
I shouldn't be laughing so hard
"deja vu maybe?" awkward silence
I'm dying here I love EJ so so so so much
"where's seb"
*cuts to seb being held hostage hoping that they'd notice he's missing and go look for him*
"don't ask"
"oh ok"
"100% real faux fur" as you should queen
sponsored by target
Kourtney is singlehandedly saving the entire show.
Seb making finger guns make me happier than it should
why is this kinda making me want to have a co-ed sleepover with my non-existent theatre friends
YES YOU DO NEED TO TALK/SING TO SEB CARLOS THANK YOU FOR KNOWING THAT
wait what-
you haven't talked to him all WEEK-
Carlos are you stupid /hj
Benjamin is so adorable I can't
he turned around to come back for her instead of going home. you're "what do you want Jenn🙄X act isn't fooling anyone Benjamin 🙃
10101
1+4+16= 21st?
they placed 21st?
or do I just not remember how to convert to base ten
GIRL DON'T BE RUDE TO HIM, HE'S GONNA SAVE YALL
no ms Jenn, the kids are not eccentric 35 year olds.
aww sebby
is he thinking that Carlos is only with him cuz he's the only other openly gay guy at school-
son you are a perfect little bean don't put yourself down
yes they all ship portwell as they should.
they'll be throwing risotto at the wedding.
not the chocolates. stop there are no chocolates. please stop I'm dying.
Gina you don't have to explain yourself to her
it was a misunderstanding and it's in the past
why is Ashlyn still laughing-
exactly it wasn't a big deal please just move on Nini
Kourtney really be out here saving everything
WHY IS ASHLYN STILL LAUGHING
why do I feel like when Gina finally told Ash about it, she didn't think it was that funny but wanted to feel included in the inside joke so now she brings it up randomly to show that she's in on it....I totally don't do that...
"idk, the farmer type" oh son...
Ashlyn and big red are just spilling the secrets back and forth huh?
OOO EJ AND GINA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-
cmon guys don't look at me like that-
"she is the best" and "we're buddies" don't sound right together
"pretty boy" "sweet boy" best ways to describe EJ
I love him.
and aw he's scared of rejection so he'll hold back just to keep her happy and not awkward how sweet
is Ricky wondering if letting her go(literally his song from last episode) was the best thing he did for Nini because he doesn't feel like it now? hmmm this is getting good
why is everyone so invested in Kourtney and Howie's relationship
PACK UP THE LAZY RICKY THING
oh yes Benji, that's exactly what she's doing
she couldn't follow her dream or whatever so now she's using the kids to gain some of the success she craves. why else would she have that massive hsm poster with her name on it in huge letters in her office.
just casually grab his hand with both your hands and stare at him creepily 🥰
ship jennzzara y'all
the first bump was a missed opportunity to do the baymax "falalala" as a reference to the fact that they watched big hero six while committing arson✋
wait so big red and EJ just left Ricky in the basement and now Ricky invited Carlos when they're supposed to be at the stage?
help no Ricky looks like he's about to tell Carlos he likes him (I know it's about writing the song for seb but still, look at his body language and tell me it doesn't look like that)
Ricky is so mature about this, he really just wants Nini to be happy even though he's hurting-
baby you deserve love, maybe Nini isn't the one for you but don't say you don't deserve it
why does he keep adding bro to the end like he doesn't know how to address Carlos
PLEASE CARLOS HAVING TO ADDRESS THE BRO THING
"let's write a song when we have like 45 minutes to get to the place and help our friends possibly win $50000 at the show in 2 weeks"
"can you hit a high C?"
"that's like the bottom of my range"
why am I laughing
this is so cool to see friendship interactions that we don't normally get to see
Nini why are you being like this-
Gina did nothing wrong??
I saw that, EJ and Gina being the only ones going in the same direction👀
right so obviously Kourtney's waiting until after the menkies to get back with Howie just in case he really is just using her as a way in to east high... obviously... right?
CARLOS
OK ITS COMING GET READY YALL
Why is portwell so awkward all of a sudden
OMG EJ
OMG GINA SAY YES or not, do what you want.
the way she doubts that EJ would genuinely ask so she has to make sure it's not Ashlyn behind it
OH
THE "NOT THAT I KNOW OF"
LIKE WHAT GINA SAID TO JACK ABOUT EJ BEING HER BOYFRIEND
GUYS THEY'RE SOULMATES
I want risotto now please
THEY'RE SO SWEET AND ADORABLY AWKWARD ITS LIKEEK LITTLE KIDS
OOOOOOO what is this place that seblos is in, looks fancy....and secluded
oh wait no Ricky's just standing there
wait is it the bomb shelter
it looks so good what
HSKAGSJAGAJAGWISGSKAUASBWKSVAIWBAISBQKSHIQBWOABWOABDOQBZIQBAIAQBSIWBQISVQKSIANSGOQBSAISBKASBKWBAIABQOSBBSJAHAJAVAJSBAJHSKAHSJAHAJAJAAJAHHHHHHHH
@youranxiousnerd ARE YOU OK?
CUZ IM NOT OK
LOOK AT SEBBY'S FACE
LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE IT IS
THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME
SEBLOS IS KILLING ME
I AM DEAD
PLEASE SEND HELP
I like to imagine that Frankie and Joe practiced this in their apartment and just had a blast with it.
or maybe that Frankie practiced in secret like what Joe did for the climb
OH THE SUITS
THATS WHERE THAT CLIP IN THE PROMO WAS FROM
AWWW SEBBY'S SO CUTE
HE'S A LITTLE MARSHMALLOW
they're still so awkward with the dance I cant
let's appreciate Frankie's voice though
this episode really was made just for the seblos and portwell stans and you gotta love it
BIG RED GET OUT
WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS
Seb's little "yeah" IS ADORABLE
you can't tell me that wouldn't have been the best time for them to say I love you....IF FREAKIN BIG RED WASN'T THERE
ok but wait Ricky needs more hugs like that, look at his face
the boy needs love
"bro" please don't let Ricky and Carlos go back to not talking because their friendship is amazing
EJ laughing at Ricky sounding like a cat coughing up a furball is so funny to me
RICKY'S FLOP GETS ME EVERYTIME
I knew it was too good to be true
ok so Ricky's dead, next in line please
this episode was so short but I love it so much. this is what I signed up for for season 2✋
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