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findafight · 1 year

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Wait. Wait. Kinda part 2 to this post. For the angst of it all. Cw: implied and assumed homophobia

Because sure, after that dinner Joyce relents in not being, y'know, openly confused or frustrated with Steve being around. El obviously adores him and Jim is always glad when he comes around. Joyce can put up with Steve for them. But she's a stubborn woman, and somewhere in her mind, Steve is a Bad Egg. So she's still not 100% on board.

All this rears its head one night after a lot of their world saving group has had a movie night and ended up in a puddle on the floor. Steve is squished between Robin and Eddie, snuggled up all cozy. Joyce sees this when she quietly pads out of her bedroom to just. Check on the kids.

Eddie and Steve are sat up, Robin's face pressed against his hip. They're whispering something, heads leaned close. And they lean in further, silhouetted by the moonlight filtering in, and kiss. It's pretty chaste, though not a peck.

Joyce's blood boils. Steve has a girlfriend, he should not be going around kissing his friends like that, stringing them all along. She feels strangely vindicated, that her assumptions about Steve were right, that he wasn't actually a good guy or had changed at all. She almost yells at him then and there, but holds off. No need to wake everyone up. She can lecture him in the morning.

Once everyone is fed and lounging in the late morning, she pulls Steve out onto the porch.

"I saw you kiss Eddie last night" she says, without preamble. "And I cannot believe you would think behaviour like that is acceptable in my house."

Steve blinks, clenches his jaw. "Jo--Mrs Byers. I--"

"I don't want any of your excuses! It's despicable what you're doing, and I won't have it. For whatever reason, those kids look up to you. What kind of example are you setting for them? For El?" Steve's eyes widen, and if Joyce hadn't been so caught up with her anger she probably would have seen that instead of being ashamed or embarrassed, Steve is scared. "She looks up to you so much, though I can't imagine why. You need to clean yourself up, Steve. For real this time. You can't go around doing whatever you want. It's disgusting and disrespectful. Did you even consider the people you'd hurt? How doing shit like that would affect the lives of people who care about you? They deserve better than that." She shakes her head. Arms crossed. Steve is tense in front of her, but he doesn't say anything. To her, that's as good as confession. "Everyone talks about how you've worked hard to improve yourself, become a better person. But after last night? I just don't believe it. No one who's really changed, really a good person, would do what you did." She sighs. "You should probably leave now."

Steve nods stiffly. "Right. I'll. Uh, I leave. Can you...please, don't tell anyone, ma'am. I'll Grab my bag and I'll get outta your hair, but don't tell. I'm so sorry. Please." She purses her lips. His girlfriend deserves to know, but Joyce has no clue who that is (it might be the Robin girl attached to his hip, but she has no way of knowing). She nods once. Steve's shoulders slump.

Stepping back into the house, Steve quickly and jerkily snags his backpack from the corner it was shoved into before leaning over to whisper something in Robin's ear. The girl nods, looking worried.

He doesn't look at Eddie.

For a while, her house is Steve-free. Joyce breathes easy, hoping their talk was a wake-up call for steve. He is painfully polite when they bump into each other, Robin usually by his side with a strained customer service smile. Small talk is non-existent.

But then Will starts getting quieter. Maybe avoiding her. Certainly does his best to be small and doesn't look in her eyes. She has no idea what's going on, and she's worried.

What if the Upside Down came back? What if there's something wrong with her boy? What if everything they've fought for and sacrificed didn't mean anything and it's never actually over?

She tries to talk to him, but he shrugs her off, says he's fine and not to worry about it. Assures her it is definitely not the Upside Down.

Finally, after two weeks of Will looking absolutely miserable when he talks to her, she gets Jonathan to try. Tension around the house is high, Steve is barely around and always skitters away when he sees her, and in combination with will, it's out everyone on edge.

She doesn't mean to eavesdrop. But she doesn't not mean to either. It's just that they're on the porch, and she was in the kitchen and heard something, and when she went to see, she heard them talking.

"it's not--i want to tell you but it's not my secret to tell."

Jonathan sighs. "Will. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong. Please. Talk to me. I'll love you no matter what, you know that."

Will heaves a breath. "I had a talk with Steve --" and oh, the rage in Joyce's chest when she hears that. What did he say to her boy?? "And...uhg. fuck. Okay, you have to swear, swear! You're not going to tell anyone what I'm going to tell you. If you figure it out, because I don't. It's not mine to tell."

"okay. I swear. I won't go spilling Steve's secrets."

"you have to mean it, Jonathan. It's dangerous!"

There's ruffling fabric. Jonathan's voice is softer. "I promise."

"Steve said he was telling me because he thought we might be...similar. In some ways. And he talked about who he's dating. And that Hopper and El and Robin and Eddie know. And that they're all safe. Y'know? Like you are."

"okay..."

"and I said you were, and he said that was really good, and then emphasized that if I ever wanted like, and actual grown up to talk to, not just another teenager, Hopper was safe. But. The way he said it made it seem like...I don't know, but something was off? And I asked him." There's a pause. "I asked him if Mom knew. And he said yes. But he hadn't... Before that, he hadn't said she was safe. Jonathan..."

Something...wasn't adding up. Joyce was trying to puzzle what she wouldn't be safe to talk to about. She'd been in the tunnels and Upside Down and through it all. Her children, and by extension the children that had helped save them, were always safe in her house. To come to her if they felt unsafe. Why Steve would tell her own son she wasn't --

Will continued. "Steve said that it'd probably be different because I'm her kid, y'know? She--she did all this stuff to get me back and to keep me safe and loves me. So she could. So she'd maybe change her mind. For me."

"Will..." Jonathan's voice sounds pained.

"but what if she's not? What if that's where it ends? Shell save me from a demogorgon but not love me for this. Steve's saved my friends half a dozen times, Jonathan! He got--he got tortured" that is not something Joyce knew. When the hell did that happen? "with Robin to protect Dustin and Erica, Billy beat him half to death when he stepped in to protect Lucas and Max! He's good! I'm not as close to him as the others but he still told me. He trusted me enough with a secret that I can't even say outloud about myself yet! And Mom still-" will hiccups, and Joyce wishes she knew what he was talking about. Wishes he was saying these things to her, so she could comfort him.

Heaving a breath, Will is quieter. "Steve's the reason no one's died. He's El's first brother. And she still called him disgusting for-- for kissing someone he loves."

Ice fills Joyce's veins, a heavy pit balls in her stomach. Because that's not--she didn't--it wasn't like that.

But Steve had begged her not to tell anyone. Had stood still and not tried to justify anything and called her ma'am when he asked her not to tell. Held himself still when she was around and bolted at the first possible opportunity, leaving disappointed people in his wake. Oh, shit. Oh, she's fucked up so badly. Hurt some kid because she was suspicious of him from over three years ago and assumed the worst. Instead of realizing that maybe the reason he and his girlfriend were keeping it quiet was because he didn't have a girlfriend at all, and that the boy he kissed that night was his boyfriend, she had just assumed he was cheating. And then she'd told him he was disappointing and disgusting and a bad influence on the kids. Even after, he still made sure Will knew there were safe people around, that he'd have someone to talk to. And all she'd done was make him scared of her.

"oh, buddy."

Will's voice is muffled, and Jonathan has probably pulled him into a hug. It cracks when he speaks. "how can she say that about Steve but still love me? When so much of this shit's been my fault?"

"none of this is your fault. Don't believe that, will. No one blames you or El for any of it. You know that, right?"

"okay..."

"it's true. And as for mom...I don't know." Jonathan huffs "I'm not sure. I'm sorry, buddy."

Joyce turns then, feeling sick. She shouldn't have eavesdropped on her children, but now she had she was going to make things right. Hopefully.

Ensure everyone, including Steve, knew she was safe.

Part 3

#joyce byers #will byers #steve Harrington #jonathan byers #steddie #stranger things #steve and el #is implied its more in the first bit #finda writes stuff #finda's rambles #misunderstanding #implied homophobia #joyce doesn't like steve au #add the part 3/part 2.5 link two days later sorry pals

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talaok · 5 months

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Hot teach

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

Summary: you force Joel to go ice-skating

Warnings: none I think, just Joel being a touchy menace

A/n: I'm not gonna lie, I wrote this mostly for myself cause I went icekating today and a girl is obsessed and I couldn't help but wonder how it would have been with my man. also i do be a lil bit tipsy so forgive me if this isn't really all that great, i just wanted to write something cute to daydream about when im falling asleep

"oh c'mon babe you're not even trying!" you laughed, watching as he gripped the banister for dear life

"I am, trust me I am, this thing it's just hard" he grunted, almost falling in the process of trying to look at you

"Joel Miller" you stated, moving so you were in front of him "You've done harder things in your life" you said, raising an eyebrow, "now c'mon, take my hands and get away from there"

He sighed, looking down at those deathly ice skates attached to his feet

"darlin' if I die 'cause of this I'll be real mad"

"you won't die" you chuckled, holding out your hands for him "now c'mon, hold onto me"

And with great difficulty, and very very slowly, he managed to do it, he was finally away from the edge of the skate rink.

"there, see, wasn't that hard"

"I wouldn't say that exactly"

"oh shut up" you rolled your eyes "Now just like I taught you: bend your knees, then lift one foot, and try to gly"

You watched as he just stood there, looking at you uncertainly

"I'll be here the whole time, I won't let go" you promised, trying to calm his nerves

"sweetheart I don't know if I'm cut out for this type of stuff"

You smiled, reducing the distance between you

"You can do it, baby" you murmured, kissing his cheek "Just give it a try, trust me"

And so he did, almost falling, but he did nonetheless.

"there" you grinned "that was good"

"you ain't gotta lie now doll" he shook his head "Those kids over there are doing better than me" he joked, his eyes going to a group of 10-year-olds to your right

You couldn't help but laugh

"I meant for the first try" you explained "You just need a little practice"

That's how the next half hour passed: practicing.

He kept holding onto you as you skated backward to follow his movements while he moved towards you, and with time, he was even able to skate by your side, his hand still in yours and at a speed slower than a turtle's, but still, it was definitely an improvement.

Convincing him to go ice skating with you hadn't been an easy task, but (as always) you had done it. I mean, it was almost Christmas and they had built a big ice skating ring so close to your house, what else were you supposed to do but drag him to it?

"you're basically a professional" You smiled as you took a break, holding on to the edge of the rink

"absolutely" he laughed "I'm sure that kid I almost killed while falling would also agree"

"Oh yes" you giggled "I'm sure he would"

A moment passed, as you let the sound of laughter and Christmas music flow into your ears

"You're beautiful sweetheart" he murmured, his hand now holding your waist and making you face him

"where's that coming from?" you smiled, raising your hand to fix his hair, just for it to fall to his shoulder

"I've been thinking it all day, I was just a little preoccupied before"

"is that right?"

"sure is" he smirked, the distance between you now completely gone "You're hot when you teach me stuff, y'know?"

You laughed "Oh yeah?"

"yeah" he breathed, ghosting his lips "I've got the most gorgeous teacher in the world," he said, a moment before kissing you, like really kissing you, like it didn't matter that people and kids were all around you type of kiss.

You whimpered into his mouth as his hands traveled lower to find your ass through your jeans.

"I know what you're doing mister" you purred, leaving a quick kiss on his lips again

"oh yeah and what's that?" he asked, not giving you time to answer before he was devouring you again, his tongue exploring your mouth ever so heavenly

"I'm sorry to break it to you Miller, but you aren't gerring out of this so easily" you smiled, crushing all his hopes "We've paid for another hour, and I'm not letting it go to waste"

"sugar c'm-"

"don't even try baby" You shook your head, leaving a soft kiss on his reddened nose "you still have a lot of practice to do" you smirked, "but hey at least you've got a hot teach"

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jonesatheart · 8 months

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How Many Fingers Am I Holding Up?

Edit: The incident Raph refers to can now be found here.

"How many fingers am I holding up!" Mikey asked with a cheeky grin.

Raphael groaned and laid his head back down on the- whatever cold,hard thing he was laying on was. "Donny?"

"I'm here."

"Think I gotsa concussion," he slurred.

"What makes you so sure?" Leo wanted to know.

"Cause Mike's got five fingers."

Mikey held up his hand and counted his fingers by touching the tip of each. "I, in fact, do not." He waggled his fingers. "Only three here, mi hermano."

Raph half-heartedly swung at Mikey with a wide motion and successfully slapped Leo across the face.

"Let's get him up."

Don and Leo each took Raph by the arm and stood together, wrapping their arms around his shell for support.

"Donny?"

"I'm here."

"There's somethin' wrong with my eyes."

Don sighed. It was going to be a long walk home. "I know. You've got a concussion, Raph. I'm gonna take care of you, okay? We just need to get you home first."

---

"How's he doing?" Leo asked when Don finally emerged from the medbay. His arms were folded over his chest and his brow was furrowed in what Mikey often teased was his PTA Mom Face.

Donatello sighed. This wouldn't be a fun conversation. "Well, he won't be sleeping in his hammock for a few days. He's okay. He has some pretty typical concussion symptoms which are just things that are going to take time to heal. He's still having some trouble with his sight, but that can take up to two weeks to improve."

Leo squinted at Donny, knowing his brother well enough to known there was something he wasn't saying. "And?"

"There is a chance it's permanent."

Leonardo's face fell and his arms dropped to his side. "Does he know?"

Don shook his head. "Not yet. I wanted him to get some rest before... It's a minor chance, Leo. I don't want to alarm him unnecessarily."

"He still needs to know, Don. I'll update Master Splinter and Mikey, that way you only have to have that conversation once," Leo offered, "but he does need to know."

"You're right," Don admitted and rubbed his brow.

"You could always get Casey to do it," Leo pointed out, the smallest hint of suppressed smile playing at his face.

Don rolled his eyes. "I don't need Raph thinking he's dying, but thanks."

Leo snorted. "It wouldn't be that bad."

Donatello arched a brow ridge. "If I sent Casey in there to tell Raph something medically related, Raph would assume he's dying, do his 'I knew it I'm dyin'," bit and subsequently cause Casey to panic, 'wait you are?!', which somehow would result in Mikey kicking in my door sobbing that he was the one dying or that he's somehow the cause of Raph's supposed demise."

"I wanna try to argue with, but honestly..."

"I know my brothers, Leonardo," Donatello answered primly. "I'll talk to him after he wakes up."

---

"Donny?"

"I'm here."

Raph turned to his brother's voice. "I still can't see straight."

Don sat on the ground to be eye level with his brother and gently stroked his head. "It could take time. Maybe a week or two."

"Or? C'mon, Donny, I know ya better than that. What's the other option?"

"I found some exercise to do if there's no improvement and some things to do to help your eyes heal."

"Don."

"But there is a chance they might not."

Raph took a breath. "Okay."

"I'm sorry, Raph."

"I's not ya fault, bro. I know you're gonna take care'a me best ya can. I trust ya."

"You're taking this remarkably well," Donatello noted.

Raph chuckled. "'M too tired to panic. I'll do that later. Maybe in a week or so when I'm less dizzy. Or, y'know, after I'm all back to normal. It is me, after all."

---

"Hey, Don told me ya were still havin' problems with ya eyes." Casey said by way of greeting. It had been a week since the concussion and Raph hadn't been out of the lair at all in that time.

"I'm not in the mood for bein' cheered up, Case." Raph said flatly looking up at his friend.

"Good thing I didn't come to cheer ya up then, huh?"

Raph lifted his head. "Alright, I'll bite. Whaddaya doin' here then?"

"Commiseration!" Casey announced with a grin and dropped into the desk chair.

Raph blinked. "Come again?" He deadpanned.

"I'm here to be miserable with you."

Raphael glared. "I actually hate you right now," he decided and dropped his head back onto his pillow.

Casey snickered. "Only now?"

"I swear if you start actin' like Mikey I'm gonna strangle you myse-" he stopped and let out a breath. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Raph," Casey assured. "It's been a year."

"Still."

"Still nothin'. Yeah, if it was comin' from anyone else but you it might be weird, but you got 'bestie privileges' or whatever it is Mikey's always goin' on about with April."

Raph glanced up again, fixing Casey with deadpanned glare. "I cannot believe you just said that."

"What, bestie privileges?" Casey asked with a cheeky grin.

"Any of it," Raph scoffed. "But, yeah, especially that."

"Yeah, well, it's true. And I know I've got the same with you and I'm callin' those in."

"The shell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that we both know there's stuff you wouldn't be caught dead sayin' to your brothers, but you'll say 'em to me. So say it."

"Sure ya not just bein' a sap?" Raph grumbled.

"I mean, probably that too, but let's be real, Raph, I could probably get away with this kinda conversation with Donny. Maybe Mikey. And Leo? Forget about it. C'mon, man, talk to me."

Raph sighed. "I'm not stupid, Casey. I know what's goin' on."

"I know you're not stupid, but I might be cause I dunno what you're talkin' about."

"Ya not out there with 'em cause they gotta get used to fighting on there own in case I don't bounce back."

Casey nodded. "Okay, well. Ya still not stupid, but ya are wrong. I'm not out there with 'em cause my knee's been actin' up. I didn't wanna risk bein' in the way or makin' it worse. Thus the bein' miserable with you."

"Yeah, well. Maybe they should be."

"They don't need that kinda practice, Raph. You guys have been doin' this for years, they've got it figured out."

"Yeah, ya probably right," Raph admitted. "Not exactly the most skilled or cooperative guy on the team."

"Whoa! Back up. That is not what I meant by that! What, you really think I'd just chuck ya under the bus that way?" Casey demanded incredulously. "What the hell, man?"

"I'm not really sure what else ya could mean by that, Casey!" Raph snapped back. "It ain't like it ain't true-"

"First of all, it ain't. Second of all, you pinhead, last fall when Donny caught the flu and the three of ya went out on ya're own, was it cause ya were figurin' 'ah, gotta get some practice in in case Don decides to retire after this,' or was it just cause ya were just down a man? That's what I meant by that, ya overgrown leprechaun! You guys have been goin' out in pairs and threes for years. Half the time it's my fault cause I ain't as skilled as the rest'a and you stay behind helpin' me."

"Alright, alright. I see ya point, settle down."

"Nuh-uh. You opened this can'a worms, Pandora. We're goin' fishin' now."

Raph sat all the way up to stare at Casey. "The shell does that even mean?"

"You really think that I think ya brothers don't need you?" Casey questioned, ignoring Raph's confusion. In part because he truly was insulted by his friends implications, but also because he wasn't sure how the analogy was supposed to work either, but neurotypicals made nonsense analogies all the time so it was probably fine. It made sense to him, everyone else could be confused.

"Case-"

"You realize I'd literally be dead without you, right? Like, I know you had that concussion and all, but you are aware that if you hadn't been so determined to get it through my skull that I was goin' about this whole vigilante shtick the wrong that the Dragons a hundred percent would'a literally beat to death, right?"

"Yeah, I also remember Hun almost did that last year anyway because I wasn't good enough to be able to keep you safe!" Raph snapped. "And that was with my eyes workin', Casey! I- I'm useless now! I can barely make it around the lair without knockin' into stuff. I- My whole life. I've been raised to be one thing. And I can't do that now. I...may never be able to do that again. I don't expect you to get it, but it feels like everything I am is on the edge of bein' taken away from me. And I dunno who I'm gonna be at the end of this. I don't know who I am, if I'm not a Ninja. And. It's easier for me to believe that....maybe I just wasn't ever good enough. Because if I wasn't good enough then...I can believe it's better I'm not. Because then...I might be losin' who I am, but...it feels like...maybe it's for the better that way."

"Ya know I love ya, right, Raph?"

"Okay here we go," Raph rolled his eyes, and stared up at the ceiling.

"Raph, look at me. You really think I'm-" he pointed to his chest "-not gonna understand what it's like to have the one thing you hung ya whole identity on taken away?"

Raph's eyes widened in realization and his face fell. "Casey, I-"

"It's okay," he promised with a kind smile, holding out a hand. "I'm not upset about it. And yeah, I'm not gonna understand it all exactly from your perspective. But I am gonna get it better than most. I have to wear a knee brace every time we go out, I can't go out tonight cause it's actin' up. Maybe...maybe your vision doesn't bounce back. Maybe ya gotta wear glasses or do other stuff to modify the way you do things. Maybe you gotta give up the vigilante stuff. That doesn't take away value from who you are. You are always going to be important to your brothers. They are always gonna need you. I get it, you're scared, but it's only been a week. That's still completely in a normal time scale from what Don was tellin' me. You've got time, Raph. And even if...things don't pan out. We're still gonna be here for ya."

Raph nodded. "Thanks for puttin' up with me tonight," he replied tightly.

Casey smiled and crossed the room to pull Raph into his arms. "Everything is gonna be okay," he promised. "Even if it's not okay the way we're hopin', it's still gonna be okay."

#whumptober2023 #no.1 #how many fingers am i holding up #tmnt #fic #my writing

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no-psi-nan · 1 year

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Real Answer:

I've cried about this before on here multiple times but this is my favorite line, and the one that made me an indefatigable Akechi stan:

Yeah I'll have feelings about this again, why not.

"I can still be your playmate" literally recontextualized the way I think about love hsfjdlshfks. Like. Play is such an essential part of living. Not just for humans, pretty much every animal we've ever studied turns out to engage in play when given the opportunity (feels safe, not hungry/thirsty).

And playing with others is especially important in social species! Notice how core playing is to human society: all games obviously, but also sports, gambling, a huge chunk of media dedicated to various games or using games as a base for a story, etc.

Anyways, Kusuo just hasn't gotten the opportunity to play, really play, since he was a small child. Even if those early games with Kusuke counted, they no longer did once Kusuke installed the limiters. After that, every game was tinted with the danger of basically losing his life should he lose, essentially destroying any fun that Kusuo could have gotten from it. Not at any point does Kusuo wish he could play a game with his brother again – it's something he would rather avoid at all costs.

And we can see that Kusuo does not really know how to play on his own either. When left to his own devices, he only reads/watches/plays shitty/obscure media, watches live TV, or stares at the ceiling. His powers prohibit him from doing a lot of things, and if he's up to anything else, it's usually training to improve his control (like when he threw a baseball back and forth a billion times to get better at it).

So when Akechi comes up with a game for Kusuo to play, it's actually groundbreaking. Especially because Akechi purposely does not place any limits on Kusuo in order to do it! That's HUGE!

Kusuke ALWAYS tries to limit Kusuo when they play, handicapping Kusuo in London with a GPS tracker and 2 friends to limit his power use, and using Toritsuka as a hostage during the Cat Tank arc (and there's no way Kusuke didn't shoot at Toritsuka directly multiple times to make Kusuo take the hit). The only time Kusuke doesn't handicap Kusuo is for the fireworks "birthday surprise", but that was explicitly because he was testing the limits of Kusuo's powers to adjust the Cat Tank.

On the other hand, Akechi doesn't put any limits on what Kusuo could do to play, and in fact, watches him obviously using his powers (specifically clairvoyance and distance telepathy). To him, Kusuo using his powers is not cheating, because Kusuo's powers are as much a part of him as his hands or eyes.

The wording of Akechi's comment in the first panel, "I guess [...] I'm still better than you when it comes to betting on horse races", and then "It seems there may still be plenty of things we can go head to head in", shows that Akechi didn't actually know whether he would be able to provide Kusuo with a challenge. And that he's happy he can! Because it means that he and Kusuo can play together!

And tbh, Akechi himself probably has trouble finding people who can keep up with him in games. He mentions in the same chapter that he doesn't have any friends and isn't even sure what social people do for fun, rip.

So anyways, it just really hit me that the ability to be playmates is so important for a deep personal relationship. Like if you can't feel safe enough to relax and be silly and vulnerable, and try new and different things together, how good is that relationship really, y'know??

Yeah. That line gets me every time lol.

Stupid Answer:

Love that he's trying so hard to take the conversation away from anything that could mess up the manga rating but as soon as someone makes an incorrect statement about dick, he immediately has to correct them with penis ethnography. We stan this pan king lmao.

My special interest is cock and brother, I'm about to start info-dumping.

#nopsi nonsense #saiki k #saiki no psi nan #sknpn #the disastrous life of saiki k.#nopsi meta #akechi touma #akechi posting

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the-enby-bird · 1 year

Note

I see you reblogged an ask thingy, so if you're up to answering (I know I'm including a lot, feel free to only answer a few), I shall ask:

"🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?"

"🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?"

"✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉"

"🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?"

"🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?"

"🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?"

"💖 What made you start writing?"

"❌ What's a trope you will never write?"

"🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?"

"🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?"

"💞 Who's your comfort character[s]?"

"🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them."

"😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?"

"📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?"

Forgot I reblogged this post lmao

Sorry this took so long I never got the notification for this

~~~

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

That moment when a character who's trying to be strong and confident, or convince others that they're okay, loses the ability to do that. It's not something that shows up a lot in my published work, more in the top secret angst fics/drabbles, so, but it's always jdladhlshflsjf to read and right, y'know? Also when a character just fucking collapses for any reason and the other one just,,,, picks em up in a bridal carry and is just over there like,,,,, "you're okay babe" and I. *Sob bing*

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

So it's a really old scene, and it only made me laugh cause I was kinda high on anesthetic, but there's this one scene in the old version of Destined that has,,,, Horror and somebody else? Joking around with Cross as a form of comfort, I thought it was funny at the time. Looking back it's kind of. Um. Cringy, for lack of a better word, but in my defense I was 13

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Um. So this is really something that shows up in my shorter fics, the ones that I don't publish, (generally cause they're vent fics lmao) but sometimes my writing is like,,, really poetic, and I think it's nice. Also, just. For someone my age, and who's been writing as long as I have, I'm. Not terrible. I've improved, and I love that.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I listen to music 24/7 and the song that's on repeat really depends on my current mood and interest-- there's not really any right now that I can think of, but I'm sure my poor Spotify has things to say about my constant listening to Poor Man's Poison

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

Yeah, a ton of people! Just none of them write Undertale, or at least not the same kind of Undertale, as I. Their writing is fabulous anyways, and it's nice to have people irl who I don't need to fear judgement from! <3

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

I love writing late at night, and frankly inspiration oft fails to flow when it's not night. However, since school generally stops me from writing late at night- I need my beauty sleep- I also enjoy evenings and early mornings.

💖 What made you start writing?

Frankly, I haven't the slightest! That was so long ago that I have no clue anymore. My guess is it was a combination of my childhood love of reading and my overactive imagination; and a desire to put my thoughts somewhere solid. I've been "writing" since I was a toddler, but I truly got into it when I was 11/12. Far too long for me to remember.

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I don't much like enemies to lovers, but not enough to never ever write it. So, I guess there's not too many? To be honest, I don't really feel like I've explored different genres and tropes enough to give this one an answer.

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

Not that I remember? I'm usually not much for long fics or heavy foreshadowing so they haven't had many chances.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Just keep writing. But- don't force yourself to write something if it's not making you happy to write. Most importantly: just keep going. It doesn't matter if it's good, or if it takes you months to write 100 words-- just keep going. If it's something that makes you happy, it doesn't matter if it's good. It just needs to be. Go tell your stories, babes, anyone who judges you is just a dick and not worth listening to anyways <3

💞 Who's your comfort character[s]?

Ough this list is so long. Um. Horror, Cross, Dust, Blue, Swap Papyrus, Fell Papyrus, Toriel, Dream and NM, my little oc Ash who I never talk about cause they're just a lump of self indulgent bs, and Lust

There's more but I'm too lazy to list em all

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

All of em? Mostly the older ones, but honestly I think I'd have an easier time listing which ones I wouldn't be too horrified about. (There's like. 3)

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

Nah, it's just not my vibe. It's. Hard to explain, and there's a lot of reasons, but it can all just be summarized in no.

My dream careers rn are as a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, baker or veterinarian!

#birdbrain babbles #askies #ask game #pep friend!!!! friend dawn!!!!#pepin fren

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coldercreation · 2 years

Text

ramble ramble ramble

I recently got an ask/prompt that mentioned a specific scene the anon had liked in CYE, so I went back to read that, and then... ended up reading my own shit for like six hours??😭 I haven't really touched CYE since I wrapped it, so I guess it felt distant enough now that I was kinda able pretend someone else wrote it, if that makes any sense?

So anyway, I'm going to give myself a little pat-pat on the head because... like... I guess I didn't hate it? lmaooo

I mean, I didn't read it from the start but... I got pretty into it lolll I was ready to kick Nat's arse when I got to his chat with Sammy... and well, I guess it just shows that I managed to build some real tension/emotion/development into the text, and I got deep enough reading it that it didn't even matter that I knew exactly where it was going hahaha!

It's always going to be strange to try and view my own work objectively, but I think I'll keep trying every now and then, even if it makes me cringe sometimes. Just so I can improve, but also so I don't just dismiss all the hard work I've done.

I'm glad I don't hate it. Actually, I'm not sure why I expected to hate it in the first place?? Huh......

Of course there's always room for improvement, and I did find some stray typos, weird sentences, and misplaced commas, all that. But to be honest, how much do those things even matter when it comes to a story as a whole? (Unless the writing is completely illegible and the grammar gets in the way of the story, of course, but y'know what I mean.) Guess it's sometimes too easy to get stuck on those minor details in our own work and get overly perfectionistic. Like... considering it was all just me writing and editing, I reckon the state of the grammar could've been a lot worse loll

ANyWaY! I don't know what this ramble is about.... Uhhh... Fun fact?? Mentioning Sammy reminded me once again that in my original drafts Sammy was Nathan's arsehole ex?? Who had echoed the toxic traits of Nat's parents and he didn't really realise it because he grew up with that and gravitated towards that as it was familiar?? But then I decided against it, as it aligned better with Nathan's development and the state of his chronic isolation to go with the route it is now. So yeh! We almost got an actual dickhead ex-bf Sammy ooooh👀 (I do like him the way I ended up writing him<3)

Okay yeah. That's it guess? Bye! xx

#I think I've told the Sammy thing before but here it is again #because this blog has hella posts #ain't nobody got time to scroll all that lol #thank you for coming to my ted talk I guess??#:"D #<3

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why-am-i-here-just-to-suffer · 1 year

Text

intro post?

ok so I'm not really sure what to put here so I guess I'll just put some stuff about me and my interests

agender xe/it/they

aroace apl

I have never had nor am I interested in sex or a romantic relationship. I don't know how repulsed I would be if I actually tried. There definitely would be a lot of sensory problems. Sometimes I reblog allo stuff because it's funny though.

I don't consider myself loveless but I don't really understand what it means to "love" someone platonically beyond just feeling strong empathy for everyone around me, and sometimes enjoying the company of certain people. Like I could talk with someone about shared interests and have a really good time, and do stuff with them all the time, but if they were to suddenly disappear from my life I wouldn't have any desire to go back to them kind of thing. I don't ever get the desire to seek out and interact with specific people who I am "friends" with.

ADHD/autism, low-medium support needs

Ashkenazi Jewish

While many of the issues that I comment on or reblog about do not directly affect me, I'm a radical inclusionist by nature and I care (probably way too much for my own good) about the well-being of other people. I do not aim to comment on any one specific issues and I do not currently have the mental capacity to be a proper advocate about any one specific issue.

Special interests (TW infodump):

FOSS (free and open source software) philosophy as a political movement

User freedom and privacy; software that is written in the interest of the user rather than the developer

Rampant mass surveillance that the public turns a blind eye to. In the EU, there are privacy regulations for corporate, but you still often times find governments doing pretty bad things. In the U.S., corporate mass surveillance is arguably on the scale of a dictatorship like China or North Korea. It's still there, just much less in-your-face. And yes, there are in fact problems with this. "I have nothing to fear because I have nothing to hide" is such a stupid argument. How do you know when the Powers that Be decide to change what is allowed? Suddenly you do have something to hide. What are you going to do now? I'm sure it's an issue that a large portion of this site worries about, y'know, being full of a plethora of different minority populations.

Freedom as in the user gets to decide how to use the software, not the developer. Most proprietary software contains artificial limitations that have been implemented purely to exercise control over the user. This is Richard Stallman's Freedom 0.

Collaborative, communal development not for the purpose of making money, but for the purpose of making a tool to do the job. That tool is then shared with everyone for free so that anyone can work to improve it or use it as a jumping off point for their own work. Under a software license like the GNU GPL, if you fork a piece of software and create your own derivative, and you want to share that derivative to others, you are legally required to share the code to the changes you made. That's what makes such licenses so powerful. Collaboration and sharing isn't optional; it's compulsory. And it should be, because working together as a whole society by pooling our time and knowledge is always better than competing with one another for the same goal.

As should be obvious by now, FOSS ideology is inherently very left wing, but it gets co-opted a lot by right-wingers who use "privacy" and "freedom" as dog whistles for "I get to post hate speech and incite violence online without personal repercussions. Oh, if it weren't for the consequences of my actions!" They completely ignore the fact that FOSS is literally communism as a development model.

Some people will advocate for FOSS from a freedom perspective, like Richard Stallman, the founder of the Free Software Foundation itself, did, (Yes, there was a whole bunch of stuff concerning his reputation that happened but most of that was proven to be false. Of course Stallman's a little crazy. He wouldn't have started what he did if he wasn't.) and some people will advocate for it from a practical, leftist perspective, like Eric Raymond, author of "The Cathedral and the Bazaar." (who has sadly since gone Q crazy, but that doesn't change the validity of what he said before.) The reality is that both perspectives are equally important.

the Right to Repair movement, which is very similar to FOSS on a practical level. It targets hardware such as electronics, vehicles, medical equipment, farming equipment, etc. Right to Repair does not ask for $0 products (and neither does FOSS. You can still make money with FOSS. Look at companies like Canonical and Red Hat.), but rather for the ability to legally obtain parts and documentation so that consumers can fix things themselves. Electrical schematics, documentation, and diagrams should be made available to the public in some capacity at all, even if they need to be paid for. Right now you can't even pay most companies to get them. It differs ideologically from FOSS because it doesn't really care about collaboration and sharing. It simply states that you should have the legal right to fix your property.

Unix systems

CLIs (command line interfaces) are superior for almost all purposes. I might not even bother with a GUI if I could run a usable web browser in a TTY. w3m gets the closest with support for rendering images, but still no JavaScript.

I often stim by fidgeting with the command line. Visual from what's going on on the screen and tactile from the keyboard. Don't ask.

Proper package management systems. Imagine an app store, but the entire operating system including core components, libraries and applications are installed and updated through one central system, pulling from one central repository. On your desktop computer. It hurts me every time I need to go look up a website and download a package or executable installer. There's Chocolatey and WinGet for Windows and homebrew for macOS but it's still nowhere near as good as a proper implementation.

---

Hardware,I especially enjoy learning about much older 8 and 16-bit machines because there's much less abstraction between hardware and software and it is much easier to visualize and understand what is happening at a very low level that you just don't see on a modern system. Even with a microcontroller like an Arduino there is still a ton of abstraction going on and you just don't get the same learning experience that you would building a project raw with a 6502 and some logic chips.

I'm not really that into programming but sometimes I'll do a little shell scripting. Why do tedious, repetitive work in a graphical interface when a couple lines of code logic suffice?

The history surrounding the development of computers and software is also really interesting to me. There's a multipage infodump that I am omitting here.

Most other general stuff about computers is interesting to me

Feel free to ask me about any of this stuff but there's no guarantee that what I respond with will be even remotely intelligible.

Also THANKS TUMBLR EDITOR for making it literally impossible to make hierarchical lists. They seem to render in the editor but then they disappear when you click post.

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harveyhawkscripts · 11 months

Text

[A4NB/TM] Werewolf Comfort for Body Nightmares [Werewolf Speaker] [Transmasc Listener] [Nightmares] [Gender Dysphoria] [Body Dysmorphia]

Usage:

- Okay for monetization

- Please credit me as Harvey Hawk :)

- Tweaks, improv, and pronoun changes are okay! Just please do not rewrite the script completely.

Synopsis: The listener has been having nightmares related to their dysphoria. Their werewolf boyfriend is there to empathize and comfort them. CONTAINS HEAVY THEMES OF GENDER DYSPHORIA AND BODY DYSMORPHIA

Google Doc

Key:

[SFX and Action]

(.) Short Pause

(...) Longer pause

(Voice instruction)

Word Count: 1044

—

WEREWOLF

(Whispers) Psst, baby. Baby, wake up. You're having a nightmare.

(.)

(Regular voice) Hey, hey, it's alright. It was just a nightmare. You're okay...

(.)

Your chest? What's wrong, does it hurt? Did you leave your binder on too long?

(.)

Ohhh, another one of those dreams. I'm so sorry, baby.

(.)

Crushed? Oh, baby, no wonder you're so worked up. That sounds awful. But it's okay now; it was just a dream.

(.)

Well, do you want me to check for you?

(.)

Of course I don't mind. Here, sit up.

[Fabric ruffling] [Light clicks]

Everything looks healthy, baby. Why don't you open your eyes and see for yourself?

(.)

See? You're alright. Just breathe...

(.)

I know you're prone to nightmares, but that's the fourth one this week. Maybe we should move your therapy appointment up or find a sleep specialist or something. There's no way you're getting enough rest like this.

(.)

No, baby, please don't apologize. I'm fine. Sure, I lose a little sleep, but it's not enough to bother me. Even if it did, I would rather be awake to help you.

(.)

I'm absolutely sure, baby. Now, c'mere. Let me cuddle you.

(.)

There we go. I've got you. Baby, your nightmares... They all have a similar theme, huh?

(.)

I mean they're all about parts of your body being deformed or destroyed. Baby, is something going on?

(.)

Shh, it's okay. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I can't say I know much about gender dysphoria, but I definitely had my fair share of body dysmorphia when I first turned.

(.)

Oh, yeah. My first full moon was a mess. I was a mess. The fur was a sensory nightmare. Everything itched; my body felt too big and my skin felt too tight. My jaw was too heavy and I couldn't even get myself to walk.

(.)

It was like I was miles behind my own body. I would feel nothing, and then too much all at once.

(.)

Yeah, I had nightmares, too. Real visceral, gory ones. The pain always felt so real, and I always woke up exhausted. I can't stand the thought of you going through something like that.

(.)

Well, I didn't get through it on my own. I had my new pack to help me. They got me moving again and taught me how to take care of my new form. Got me on a sleep schedule, brought me food when I couldn't hunt, even swiped me some honey.

(.)

Yeah, my pack is something special. I can't wait for you to meet them. They're gonna adore you, I just know it.

(.)

Of course I'm sure. But you don't have to meet them just yet. I know you get nervous around new people, and I don't want to add to your stress right now. We'll wait until you're good and ready.

(.)

I'll always be patient with you, baby. Always.

(.)

Y'know, dysphoria and dysmorphia aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, it makes a lot of sense that the two would overlap. When I first turned, I felt like my body didn't reflect who I was. It was... easy to hate parts of my wolf form because it felt so impersonal.

(.)

Yeah, baby, I'm doing better now. It's you I'm worried about. Can you tell me about what you're feeling?

Like your body is synthetic...? Like you're unreal.

(.)

Alright, I get what you're saying. You feel like the real you is buried under a fake body, like wearing a heavy costume. Do you ever get aches?

(.)

It absolutely can manifest as physical pain, baby. Even when it feels unfamiliar, your body responds to your mental state. If you hurt inside, you're likely to hurt outside.

(.)

How about a hot drink to calm you down, baby? I can feel all that tension you're holding in your back and shoulders.Would a mug of honey milk make you feel better?

(.)

You wanna watch me make it? Okay, wrap your arms around me. I'll carry you to the kitchen.

[Footsteps]

Alright, baby. Sit right here and watch me work my magic.

[Pans shuffle, milk pours, stove clicks]

Alright, let's see... honey, cardamom, cinnamon, vanilla extract...

Ahah, good. We've got everything. Learned this recipe from my pack leader.

(.)

Yeah, she's real good with the home remedy stuff. Made me this whenever I had my own nightmares. It always soothed me right back to sleep.

(.)

What do we do in the morning? Well, I assume you'll want to sleep in. But once you wake up, we'll decide what to do next together.

(.)

I know you're scared, baby. I'm right here with you. And I love you so, so much, every piece of you.

(.)

What if you don't love every piece of you...? Hm... What if we found some ways to make you more comfortable in your body?

(.)

We could set up a self-care routine. Even a spa day. I could cut your hair if you want.

(.)

Good start? Okay. Hmm... What were you thinking?

(.)

What's that, baby? Couldn't quite hear you.

(.)

Of course I would be okay with it! It's your body, baby; you don't need my permission.

(.)

I could never love you less. If anything, I love you more and more every day. I love every piece of you because it's you, it doesn't matter to me what the pieces are. Whatever you need, I'm here to support you a hundred percent.

(.)

Maybe you could start by bringing it up to your therapist. They know you have dysphoria, right? They could probably help you find a doctor that offers what you're looking for.

(.)

We can figure out who to talk to for this sort of stuff in the morning. For now we better get your honey milk off the stove before it burns.

[Milk pouring]

Annnd there you go.

(.)

Feeling a bit better now?

(.)

Good. I love you, baby. So, so much. I promise, I'll do everything in my power to help you feel comfortable in your own skin.

(.)

You can always depend on me. Promise.

(.)

(Chuckles) That was a big yawn, baby. Ready to go back to bed?

(.)

Alright, c'mere my little honey bunny. In my arms. Let's go snuggle up under the blankets. Your big bad werewolf will scare away any nasty nightmares.

(.)

That's it, I've got you. No matter what, I've got you.

END

#asmr rp #fantasy #script #script writing #writing #body dymorphia tw #gender dysphoria tw #a4nb/tm

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ahogechef · 1 year

Note

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KAEDE!!!" *taka is even louder than usual as he pulls her into a tight hug, an exceptionally happy look on his face!*

"I'll admit, I wasn't quite sure what to get you... However, when in doubt, always go for something practical! Even if they're not what others would typically consider as a gift, if they help you on a daily basis then I will consider this a successful present!" *he will then briskly walk out of the room and reemerge a few moments later, holding a gift basket full of cooking equipment! using a mixing bowl as the basket, there's everything from rolling pins to graters, vegetable peelers to honing rods, and even a few boxes of baking parchment and kitchen foil!*

"Perhaps this is an odd or even rude request, especially given today is your day, but I would be honored if I could help you cook at some point! Or just watching you prepare something would be good, too! It doesn't have to be today, but I would like to watch you while you're in your element and see how I can improve my own cooking!"

{ Birthday Asks! 🍰 }

"O-Oh! Ahaha, thank you, Taka!!" The slight jump she made with his very loud exclamation aside, she beams at the hug, hugging him back even tighter! "Aww, you never have to worry about that... no matter what you give me, I will love it. Hehe, and hey, I'd say that's all the more reason why something practical makes for a perfect gift! I love receiving those kinds of things, too." She reassures him. Kaede was never one to be picky or spoiled with gifts. If anything, it was always a nice surprise when someone wanted to go the extra mile to want to give her something, when they could have solely just gave her birthday wishes. That's why any gift she got, always means a lot to her, and why she would never want anyone to struggle thinking about a 'good enough' one to get her.

Curiously bouncing on her heels as she awaits for him to return, when she does, her gives a soft gasp at the number of cooking equipment in the mixing bowl! "Oooo! So much good stuff!!" Smile widening, she accepts the bowl so that she can peer at everything. "Why the heck wouldn't I love this, hahaha, I'm always, always happy to receive more cooking tools, and the boxes of those, too! Some of these I have actually been needing some more of or just some at all!"

Then at his request, she gives a reassuring shake of her head; in fact, looking very excited at the thought of cooking something together. "It's not odd of rude at all!! I'd love to make something together with you, Taka!! After all, I'm just itching to use this lovely new set of cooking tools you gave me, hehe~! I meannnn, since we're already in the kitchen... why not think of something right now to make right now, y'know?" She winks, playfully nudging against him. "You can help me! Being hands on is always the best way to improve your cooking skills. Plus: it's much more fun when cooking with someone! Hmm, how about we make lunch together! I'm thinking.... ohh, katsu curry sounds good right now... want to make that? Yeah!! You'll help me make a niiice birthday lunch, hehe~ and in turn, I'll show you how to create the tastiest katsu curry you can!"

She giggles, now more eager than ever to start cooking. Even this, would be a very fun way to celebrate today; especially with a great friend like Kiyotaka, who brightened this day even more. And once she set the bowl down, she pulls him into a tight hug this time. "Thank you so much for such wonderful gifts! You already made this day even better! I'm so excited to celebrate it together even more with you~!"

#AWW TAKA~#HE'S SO GOOD.....#trust me she is VERY happy to always have more cooking tools okay #And will find so many different ways to utilize them all overtime~!#He chose the perfect gift!!! ✨#And being able to cook with him will make her day even more fun! Bless him!!!#THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL ASKS TIME #your boys are always so sweet to my girl she loves them all so much!!! ❤️#Kaede answers;;#essenceofjustice

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t0shii · 3 years

Text

% comforting them when they're upset

.! oikawa, tsukishima, matsukawa (sep) x gn!r

.! angst + fluff/ breakdowns, crying, etc. lightly proofread bc im lazy so sorry for any mistakes.

.! im so sorry if this is absolute word vomit or horse shit 😭 i tried my best though 😌 uhhh sorry for not posting yesterday i got my daith pierced and i was in a lot of pain after that so i didnt feel like writing anywho enjoy this 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 p.s. i was originally gonna write for mad dog but i was struggling so i went with mattsun instead sorry. also idk why matsuns ended up being so short i didnt do him justice i apologize 😩

oikawa

— always gets discouraged when his knee bothers him. today was one of those days. his coach had made him sit out of practice because he had been limping a bit. he came home distraught and you noticed right away.

"what's the matter toru?" you asked opening your arms for a hug, which he accepted, wrapping his arms around your middle quite tightly. "my knee is bothering me again 'n coach made me sit out. it's just not fair." he mumbled into your shoulder. you could feel his tears soak through your shirt. you nodded and responded, "baby, he just doesn't want you to hurt yourself. i know it's not fair but-", "but i wanna play volleyball, i wanna get better and practice." he said, aggravated that you weren't exactly on his side, still he held you tighter.

"toru, baby, look at me." he does as told, and you bring your hands up to wipe his tear stained cheeks,"toru, you can't strain your knee anymore than you already do, you know this. i know you only want to play volleyball, baby i know, but you have to be patient." he nods in agreement and you do the same, then guiding his head back to your shoulder, "i know it's frustrating toru, but you can't force it, y'know? he wouldn't make you sit out if it wasn't for your best interest. you know that, deep down."

the two of you had been cuddling on the couch, his back against your chest when you heard him sniffling again, "toru, what's wrong?" you ask softly, sitting up slightly. "i'm so useless, my own knee can't even work right. the team deserves someone better and so d-do you" he hiccuped, hiding is face in his hands. you felt guilty for not comforting him more earlier. "toru, that's not true at all." you stated, forcing his hands into yours, "take it back right now." he looked at you confused. "toru oikawa i said take it back right this instant." you said a little sterner than before.

"no." he managed to get out through sobs, and you knew the stern method wasn't going to work this time around. "toru, please. you're not useless at all, not to anyone, not to the team, and especially not to me. you're the best teammate, friend and boyfriend anyone could ever ask for and your knee just needs a break sometimes, you just need a break sometimes and thats okay. needing a break doesn't make you useless or weak, toru." you say softly, guiding him to a sitting position, hugging him closely and tracing small, comforting shapes on his back.

"you're so so strong toru, and you're an amazing person, an amazing boyfriend, you're such an amazing volleyball player and i'm so proud of how far you've come since highschool." you say, kissing the crown of his head. "you mean it?" he asks leaning back to look at you, "i always do, toru. i love you more than anything, and i'm so so fucking proud of you, but you have to know, it's okay to need a break sometimes and it doesn't change who you are as a person and it definitely doesn't make you weak or useless. he nods in response, burrying his head into the crook of your neck. you both stay like that, you whispering words of affirmations, him listening fondly until he feels better a little while later.

tsukishima

— he usually didn't let the stress of professional volleyball get to him like this, but he couldn't help it he would be lying if he said he wasn't overwhelmed, from interviews, to extra practice to prepare for the overseas games he had coming up, he was exhausted, to add onto it all he had been neglecting you and he felt horrible for it.

you knew practice was going to be running late since your boyfriend had told you in advance, so you weren't initially worried as to why kei had been coming home late at night. this night in particular was the fourth night in a row kei been home late and you starting to grow concerned. you hadn't seen him hardly at all that week, which was unusual because he always made time for you no matter what. worried, you decided to stay awake and wait for him to get home.

when the time finally comes, your heart dropped at his appearance, he looked absolutely horrible, as if he hadn't slept right in weeks. "why are you up?" he mumbled, taking his shoes off rather sloppily, uncharacteristic of him. you made your way closer to yoir exhausted boyfriend, "kei, i'm worried about you. i know you don't like me meddling with your career, and please don't misunderstand my concern for that. i'm just worried you aren't getting enough rest and i've barely seen you at all this week." you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

you knew something was wrong when you saw the tear swell in his eyes, but he just stood there awkwardly, you walked closer toward him, "kei, what's wrong?" you ask, extending your arms toward him, which he basically fell into, he started sobbing immediately, shocking you initially. "i'm s-sorry for neglecting you this week, i didn't mean to i-i just-", "kei, i'm not worried about that, i'm worried that you aren't taking care of yourself properly." you mumble, patting his back comfortingly. to which he shakes his head no."work has been too much recently, i can't sleep and i barely have time to even think. its just practice, interviews, practice, interviews i-i can't handle it all anymore, y/n." he sobbed into your shoulder, you were speechless at his vulnerability.

"kei,-", "but i can't stop now because that'll make me a failure and i don't want to let you down and the team too, i just want to make everyone proud but i think i'm falling behind." he cried, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. "kei, you could never let me down. actually, i think i've been letting you down recently, i don't tell you this enough but, i'm so so proud of you kei, so proud you don't even understand, i'm sorry for not expressing that enough to you. i understand that you feel as if you're falling behind but overworking and stressing yourself out isn't going to help you improve, kei, and i know you also know that."

"you're working yourself sick, kei and i can't stand here and continue to let that happen so you're taking a day off whether you like it or not. tomorrow will be a me and you day, how does that sound? i'll call your coach in the morning." honestly, you wouldn't have let him say no anyways, and he knew that so he just nodded his head. "look at me kei, you have to tell me when you're feeling overwhelmed. it's not good to keep things in like this, it's just like you tell me." he nods his head, but avoids eye contact, "and i'm not disappointed or upset at you, you know. but i can't read your mind, so please just tell me when things start to feel like they're crashing down on you 'kay? i'll help you just like you help me." you smile, he looks at you and nods, hugs you closer and whispers an "i love you" into your ear, which you return.

matsuwaka

— you knew his work was stressful and emotionally and mentally exhausting, so there were always worries in the back of your mind that he would become too overwhelmed, well today your worries became reality.

"welcome home issei." you called from the kitchen as your boyfriend walked through the door, though he offered you no response, which made you frown. "issei?-" you gasped when you felt a pair of strong arms sneak their way around your waist, "jesus, issei, you scared me!" you giggle placing your hands atop of his own, but you realized he was not laughing with you. "issei, baby?" concern laced in your tone as you maneuvered your way around to face him, "what's wrong baby?" you ask, taking his face in your hands to wipe at escaping tears.

"work was rough today." was all he said as he melted at the feeling of your thumbs running back and forth on his cheeks. "oh issei, i'm sorry." you mumbled, kissing the tip of his nose lightly, "is there anything i can do to help?" he didn't know why but something inside of him snapped when you asked him that, and sobs escaped his lips, he could only hide his face in the space between your neck and shoulder because for some reason he felt... ashamed to be crying in front of you like this. "please just hold me." he cried, so you did just that, shushimg him when his sobs got violent, rubbing your hand up and down his back soothingly.

the both of you stood there for a good 15 minutes before you spoke up after he had calmed down a bit, "is there anything you need to get off your chest? you don't have to tell me now or even at all but i want you to know that whatever is bothering you, you can tell me, anything at all. i know your job is mentally exhausting and honestly i dont even know how you do it but i dont want you thinking you have to carry the burden of it alone, okay? i'm so proud of you, so so so proud of you issei, i just wanted you to know that."

you felt him nod in the crook of your neck, a soft, "thank you." sounding shortly after, "of course." you responded, kissing his shoulder a few time.he wasn't sure when he would feel completely ready to get things off his chest but he felt loved knowing that you would always be there to comfort him, and for that he was forever grateful.

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addictofsupernatural · 4 years

Text

Summer Love

Kei Tsukishima x reader

Summary: Kuroo and Bokuto try to push Tsukki together with his crush, the assistant manager, on the summer retreat.

Word Count: 3.4k

"Hey Tsukki, I—" The tall blonde turned to you and let his guard down, completely forgetting what he was doing. He was drawn to the sound of your voice, which caused him to be hit with a spike from Bokuto on the cheek.

"I still win!" Bokuto declared with his fists raised.

"At the cost of his face you horned owl bastard!" Kuroo barked.

You ran over to Tsukishima, who was bent slightly and holding his face. His whole body was turned from you but you ran around him. His cheeks were slightly tinted with red.

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" You grabbed his cheeks and turned his face so that you could see the red mark.

"I'm fine." He grabbed your wrists away from his face and straightened up. "What did you need?"

"Oh, I was going to say that I saved some food for you and your friends." You let him keep his hands on your wrists, and rather liked that he didn't just smack your hands away. Not that you'd have the courage to tell him that. You nervously smiled. "I'm sorry for distracting you."

"You already apologized."

"But I thought I should say it again."

"Don't. You didn't have any bad intent, and I said I was fine."

You grinned. "Okay, well I'll see you at the cafeteria!" You gently pulled your hands back and patted his arm. You then respectfully bowed at the other three before jogging out of the gym. "Bye for now!"

"Bye." He quietly said.

He suddenly felt an arm drape around his shoulder. "Well well Tsukki," Kuroo said. "I didn't think you'd even look at any girls, let alone crush on them."

He let out a tch and looked away. "I'm not crushing on anyone."

Bokuto put his arm around the other side of Tsukishima. "Are you sure about that four eyes? You wouldn't let go of her hands."

"She didn't seem to mind it though." Akaashi quietly added.

"And she called you Tsukki." Kuroo reminded. "You don't let just anyone call you that."

Tsukishima scoffed. "Are you two done? You're both talking about her when she's not in the room, even though she said she saved food for you." They both laughed and stepped back.

"Woah!"

"Hey hey hey!" He tched again, beginning to walk out, with the other three trailing behind.

When the four of them got into the cafeteria you were at a table with a few other managers. You noticed them staring at you as they sat down at a far away table. You perked up, saying something to the girls and leaving to the back room for a second before returned with plates that were wrapped in tinfoil. You quickly gave it to them and bowed, about to leave when Kuroo stopped you.

"Wait." You turned to him. "Sit down with us. We wanted to get to know you, as a thank you." You nervously nodded and sat next to the tall and also nervous blonde. "I'm sure Tsukishima would be okay with sharing his food with you."

"Oh, it's..." Your voice faded as you watched him silently slide his plate a little towards you. You chuckled. "Okay then."

He gave you a fork, and both quietly ate together. Bokuto was grinning while Kuroo smirked. "What's your name?" Kuroo asked.

"Y/n y/l/n."

You always felt nervous talking to upperclassmen, yet was comfortable with all of those in your grade. Tsukishima noticed this right away. You didn't have anything to prove to your fellow first years, and he felt like he could relate to you on that. While he was stone faced to everyone though, you always had a comfortable smile on.

Bokuto leaned across the table, right into your face. You nervously leaned away. "Do you have a boyfriend?" Your faced heated up as you quickly shook your head. You scooted towards Tsukishima as a feeble effort to get away from Bokuto's face, turning your face to try and hide your embarrassment. "Do you want one?"

Tsukishima scooted closer to you to attempt to help hide your red face as a scowl was placed on his own face. There they go again, talking to and about you as if you didn't have your own feelings.

Kuroo smacked the back of Bokuto's head before looking at you with a smile. "What this arrogant bastard" he yells it to his face before turning to you, "meant was, could you see yourself with anyone here? Maybe in your year, or school perhaps?"

You looked down and fiddled with your hands in your lap, leaning away from Tsukishima. "Stop asking her questions like that." He demanded. "She's uncomfortable."

You whispered a hoarse thank you before clearing your voice. You then said, clearly, "Y'know I never see you two around any women. How are your love lives?"

It took you and everyone else a second to register what you had just said. You then quickly shook your head and raised it to look at the two third years.

"Um, that was very rude of me! I'm sorry, sometimes I don't think about who I'm talking to before I say things. My apologies!"

They only blankly stared at you for a second before laughing. "It's okay y/l/n!" Bokuto said. "That was really funny to hear from you. I think Tsukishima might be rubbing off on you though."

"We have to go now." Akaashi said, trying to save you from more embarrassment.

The other two nodded. Kuroo then said, "Again, thank you for the food."

They stood up as you nodded with your heated face. "You'll be talking with us more!" Bokuto shouted as they then left.

You leaned your head on to Tsukishima's arm. "That was so stupid of me to say." You muttered.

He smirked down at you. "It was, but they're a lot more stupid than you are, so you'll be fine."

You giggled. "Even when you insult me, you still say the right thing." You looked up and smiled at him. The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds before you realized how close you were. You leaned back and looked away. "I think I'll go to bed now."

His smile went away. "Okay."

"You should sleep soon too. You've worked so hard today." You then looked at him and patted the cheek where he got hit. "Goodnight."

"Night."

The next day you were brought out of your thoughts and note takings when Fukurodani had it's turn to play against Karasuno. Before the game started Bokuto pointed right at you and yelled, "Hey, y/l/n!" You flinched and looked up, awkwardly waving at him. "Practice with us later!"

You nodded and went back to your notes with a flushed face. Bokuto smugly stared at Tsukishima with his hands on his hips. He glared back when Tanaka playfully smacked him on the back. "Hey, you must feel really jealous that a third year is talking to y/n! It's okay, I feel the same with Kiyoko-chan!"

Nishinoya ran up to him when he heard this. He jumped up, exclaiming, "Don't give up! You can win!"

He glanced over to you and saw you writing in your notebook. You didn't hear anything. He sighed, though he didn't know whether it was in relief or frustration. "Why are you two always yelling?"

"Oh!" They both yelled. They put their index fingers to their mouths. "Shh!"

Later on you trudged over to the gym where the three third years and the tall blonde were practicing. You had spent the whole day taking notes on everyone's flaws and ways to improve on their weak points, then discussed what to add and take out of the list you made with Ukai.

You put your hand over your mouth as you yawned, taking a step inside and rubbing your eyes. "I'm here." They stopped what they were doing and greeted you back. "So what did you need me for?"

"We need eyes." Kuroo stated as walked over to you and guided you to a seat by holding your shoulders. "You need to let us know what we're doing wrong. Remember," he pointed to Bokuto. "Don't hold back on that owl airhead!"

Bokuto grinned at Akaashi and wacked him on the back. He sighed, saying, "Since this is to help Tsukishima with his techniques, you should focus on observing mainly him."

You smiled and nodded, getting a new page ready as you sat down. Tsukishima felt a twinge of both irritation and nervousness to have your focused attention. You tried your best not to forget everyone else and to take the best notes possible for everyone. You did good for a while, but once you wrote what you needed you eventually dozed off.

When they were done they realized you were asleep, the four of them staring at you and feeling bad once they realized how long they went on for. Kuroo nudged Tsukishima. "Carry her."

He looked at him like he was crazy. "What?"

"Oohh! That's not a bad idea!" Bokuto nodded.

Kuroo smirked. "If you want you could just wake her up. But then she'd have to walk into the cold night all the way over to the girl's rooms, which is a descent length walk. Then she'll be fully awake from the cold by the time she gets there, and then she'll have trouble sleeping. All because you weren't committed to helping her." He shrugged. "Who know you were this lazy? Especially when it comes to y/l/n. Maybe someone a little more open minded like Kageyama would be better for her."

He glared at the ground, with the statement clearly getting to him. Kageyama? Really? Why not someone actually kind like Yamaguchi, or even Hinata? He was an idiot but at least he wasn't Kageyama. It was almost like Kuroo was putting him below Kageyama.

He then bent down and carefully scooped you up, holding you close to try and not let the cold get to you once you two were outside. He was blushing madly at the situation. You were lighter than he thought.

Kuroo helped Tsukishima put his bag over his shoulder while trying not to disturb you. He only stared at you as he said, "Put my jacket over her."

Bokuto was about to say something, but Akaashi put his hand on his shoulder to stop him. Kuroo grinned and did what he was told. As soon as he stepped out and the cold hit, you nuzzled yourself into his shirt. His face felt hot and he inwardly sighed that nobody was out here to see him.

He was also glad that there wasn't anyone in the girl's cabin who was awake to see him, or so he thought. He didn't notice that Kiyoko was still awake. He set you down, taking his jacket away and putting the covers over you. He then left.

Tsukishima ate his breakfast a little faster than usual. He knew he'd be stiff and suspicious when he saw you, and he didn't want you asking questions about it. He was successful for a while until it was time for warm ups. Everyone was walking into the gym when you pulled him aside by gripping his hand. You waited until you were the only two outside.

"I have to go ins—"

He went dead silent when you quickly hugged his waist. "Thank you."

You stayed there for a few seconds before you gave him a gentle squeeze and went inside. He noticed that you didn't look at him at all and was grateful that you saved him the embarrassment.

While Karasuno was running one of their penalty laps, Kuroo, Bokuto, and Akaashi walked up to you with your notebook. "Oh, I left it in the gym! Thank you!"

You bowed respectfully. "We all took pictures of the notes you took of us." Akaashi said.

You smiled. "I hope it was helpful."

"You're very observant and can take good notes." Kuroo said. You grinned and blushed a bit.

"Hey!" Bokuto said. "You only noticed the bad things! Did you see all the awesome things about my techniques?"

You giggled and nodded. "I can tell you've built up your strength for a long time and everything about your hit shows dedication."

He grinned and put up his fists. "All right! I'm awesome! Hey hey hey!"

Kuroo looked at the Karasuno boys coming back, and he cupped his hand as if to be inconspicuous. "Hey, I'm not usually one to gossip, but I thought you should know what Tsukishima did for you last night."

Your face flushed once more. "Oh, Kiyoko senpai told me about it. Tsukki has his sweet moments."

"I wonder how many more sweet moments there would there be with him as a boyfriend." He smirked. Tsukishima never turned his head around so quickly. Some people from the team turned their heads as well.

Your face felt extremely hot as you cleared your throat. "Well then, I think you should just go for it and ask him out, since your so interested. Then maybe you could get some sweet moments yourself."

He did a loud and hardy laugh, crossing his arms. "I'll keep it in mind."

You jogged over to Kiyoko and started helping her lower the nets, and you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around but immediately backed up against the pole, quietly gasping as you did, when Tsukishima was bent and his face was right in front of you. "Um, hi."

He smirked. "You're welcome." He straightened up and left. You knew you had a goofy grin on, but you didn't care. You were smitten.

The next few days you were there with them at their nightly practice to jot down how they were improving and in what ways to improve. You did notice that Tsukishima has seemed sore, especially in his arms.

Hinata was eagerly discussing something with Bokuto and Kuroo when you pulled Tsukishima off to the side. He silently watched as you sat him down and disappeared for a bit before returning with an icepack. You wrapped it in a paper towel and sat down next to him.

"Give me an arm." He gave you his right arm and flinched when you put the ice pack on it.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping you." You rubbed the icepack on his arm for a bit. "Y'know, professional baseball players take ice baths so their whole bodies won't be sore. I can tell your arms are sore. So, I'm helping."

You set it down and began rubbing his arm, pressing down harder on the sore spots for it to rub them out. You then did the same on his other arm. He looked between you and what you were doing, though he made sure not to stare for too long.

He didn't want this time to go to waste, so he asked you questions about yourself. "Why do you care about the volleyball team?"

You comfortably smiled. "Why do you ask?"

He shrugged. "Nobody knows much about you, and you're not stupid like Hinata, who blurt their whole life story out about being short."

You chuckled. "At first I figured it'd look good on a resume if it said that I was a manager of something. Then when I started actually attending I got invested. It's got it's ups and downs. I met you."

He scoffed and smirked. "Is that part of the ups or the downs?"

"That's a secret. Can't be making enemies in a club where I'll be staying." You teased. "It'll be awkward."

When the three third years in the gym noticed the two of you talking, they had Lev substitute for the practice game Tsukishima was supposed to be a part of to give you two more time.

The next day was the day off. Students were allowed to go out to the block next to the camp in groups of at least 3 people. You, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi went out together to get away from the place of constant work.

When two certain third years saw the three of you, they looked at each other and nodded. Kuroo whispered something to Kenma, who called Hinata over to their group. Bokuto then said something to Hinata, and Tsukishima noticed that they were all staring. He hoped in annoyance it wasn't something stupid they were planning.

"Yamaguchi~!" Hinata yelled. "Come over here! We need to talk!"

He turned to you two for silent permission. "Go ahead, we can text you later." You said.

Right when Yamaguchi left, the tall blonde suddenly said, "C'mon." He already began walking, and you jogged up and followed him.

There was comfortable silence while you two walked together, with you only speaking until you both stopped at a frozen yogurt shop. He tugged on your wrist and practically dragged you inside from the tight grip he had. "Why'd we come here?"

"You said you liked frozen yogurt. Get a small cup so you don't ruin your dinner." He sounded very nonchalant as you both stepped inside.

You chuckled and grabbed two small cups, handing one to him. "Well thank you for listening."

While you happily piled on toppings, Tsukishima simply stuck with just vanilla. He looked disturbingly at your cup. "That's so overly sweet."

"That's so overly plain." You got to the front and took out your wallet, but by the time you got out your money he had beaten you in paying. "You're being extra nice to me today."

He looked away. "Is that a problem?"

"Nope. I'm just curious about the reason why."

"Grab your cup, there's a line." You nodded and decided to just let him ignore the question. When you turned around you flinched, staring at Kuroo, Bokuto and the other four seated in the shop. You nudged your tall friend and heard him sigh when he himself turned around. "C'mon."

You both went around to the back of the building and sat on the ground together. "Thank you for this."

"Since you helped me with my arms yesterday, I figured I should repay you." It was a white lie, one that he didn't think would hurt your feelings a bit.

"Oh." Your face went blank as you stared into your cup. "I wonder if anyone would do this for me if there was no reason to."

You continued to eat your gift as he looked at you with an almost offended expression. He was being nice to you, and you fantasize about romances with other people?

He heard you sigh. You then looked at him and smiled. "Hey Tsukki, can I do something?"

"What?"

"I wanna see how you look without your glasses."

He gave you a dirty look. "Why?"

"Just cause. Please?" You grinned and scooted closer to him.

He stared at you for a second. "I guess that's okay."

You grinned and quickly set down your cup, shifting your body towards him. Your faces were inches apart as it was, but you ignored that fact, curiosity taking over your rationality. Tsukishima's eyes fluttered shut for a moment as you took them off.

"Wow." Was all you said, in a lighthearted tone.

He furrowed his eyebrows. Since you were at such a close proximity to him, he could see your smile and face clearly, though everything else was blurry. "What?"

"You're still just as handsome without the glasses."

You couldn't tell if it was the close proximity, or the sugar, or his kindness today, or that fact that he was hot without his glasses, but you leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. You both stayed in silence for a few seconds, and the lack of a response from him caused embarrassment and anxiety to creep up.

"I'm sorry! I should've known you didn't feel the same way and—"

He grabbed your cheek and kissed you back passionately. You put your arms around his neck and held onto his glasses. You had to pull back to catch your breath as Tsukishima stared at you. He resisted the urge to chuckle at your dorky smile. "You taste sweet."

"You taste like vanilla." You put the glasses back on him, Tsukishima giving you a small smile as you put your hands back around his neck. "So would this be like our first date?"

He rolled his eyes before smirking. "Of course not. Our first date isn't going to have any idiots trying to spy on us, and it won't be on the ground behind a building. You should take the start of our relationship more seriously."

You giggled, pressing a little peck to his nose. "I'm sorry. I'm kinda new at having a relationship, so I guess I'm just gonna have to blindly follow your lead."

You chuckled at your own joke as your partner brought you into another passionate kiss.

---

Author's Note: I'm sorry if I wrote Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi terribly. Idk I love all three of them and my writing is kinda trash

#kei tsukishima #kei tsukishima x reader #kei tsukishima x you #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima x you #tsukishima fluff #tsukiskima kei #tsukishima kei x y/n #tsukishima kei x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu fanfiction #tsukishima oneshot #tsukishima haikyuu #haikyuu tsukishima #haikyuu tsukki

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9tzuyu · 3 years

Text

the art of delicate hands – pt. i

[ wandanat. ]

College AU.

Multiple part series ;

↳ snippets of their relationship and how I perceive them.

sumary:

wanda doesn't like to talk very much, only to her brother (and sometimes her lovely redheaded girlfriend).

notes:

if anyone international is reading this, ASL is shortened for american sign language (language of the hands).

this is a revised and edited version from when i wrote it on ao3 in 2018.

The only person that knew was Pietro. It was her little secret, and she could only hope that no one now would find out. She knew she shouldn't be ashamed, it was nothing to be ashamed over. Unsurprisingly however, it became her biggest insecurity – years of relentless bullying ensued that.

Wanda was always anxious. When she was seven she began experiencing panic attacks. The metallic taste of blood in her mouth became familiar over time as her panic attacks worsened.

All because she was mute and didn't feel comfortable to speak to anyone, including her parents. The only person Wanda felt comfortable enough to talk to was her brother (you could say that's because they're twins).

A doctor in Sokovia mentioned to Wanda's parents that therapy may help, that it may get her to speak more than four words a week. So her parents moved her when she was 16 and hoped for the best.

Within a year and a half Wanda was able to develop a clear understanding of American Sign Language. Eight months into the move and Wanda's parents had given up on Wanda ever talking, something that she took personal. They didn't catch on to English as quick as the twins did, their native language stuck closer than expected. Pietro didn't mind learning English quickly as he wanted to fit in school, and he also didn't mind studying ASL to communicate with Wanda on a deeper level.

American high school wasn't much better than her hometown. People talked, whispered and gossiped about her in class, muttered hurtful things about her appearance and the way she carried herself; a shy, quiet, timid girl. The worst part of it was when they mocked her for using a language that was supposed to feel safe for her. Pietro always came to her rescue, shooing people away, reminding them that she's his sister. The silver haired boy had no problem fitting in, it was only when they were apart did people tease the younger brunette.

When their parents died, Wanda took the brunt of the emotional attack it had on the twins. She'd been sitting in the backseat of the car, earbuds in, with her music volume at maximum capacity. Her father had tried to tell her to turn down the music while her mother rest in the passenger seat, window down with her eyes closed. When Wanda didn't hear her father, he reached over, eyes off the road, and tapped her. The second she registered his touch a semi-truck hit her father's door. In a matter of minutes Wanda and Pietro both were left alone to fend for themselves.

Putting the blame on herself only caused her to shut down further. It took over a year for Wanda to speak to Pietro again.

But as per usual, the twins stuck together and finished high school. The only difference was that they lived in foster care, they belonged to the state, up for grabs if anyone wanted them. That came to an end six months into their stay. The foster family proposed the idea of adoption, they had no problem in taking care of the twins for the rest of the time being – or, if they wanted, every day after as well.

At twenty, Wanda and Pietro eventually both went to college and shared a house with a bundle of other people on campus. The younger sibling even found herself a girlfriend within the group, her name being Natasha Romanoff.

Natasha didn't mind at all how little Wanda talked. She was curious, of course, but even before their relationship Nat never pushed her girlfriend into anything uncomfortable. Natasha could tell Wanda always made effort though, that's what drove the brunette into allowing herself a relationship.

When the redhead would sleep, Wanda would continuously practice signing. She'd sign songs and poems, movie scripts and books, everything she possibly could to improve herself. It was a very personal, in touch form of language for her.

Wanda had been with her girlfriend a little over a year and Natasha still didn't know all the unpleasant factors that came about her life. Wanda only told her just enough to get by, and she felt immensely guilty for that. Truth was she desperately wanted to tell Natasha, she just didn't know how. She'd thought about just signing something to her and hoping she would catch on, but figured that would be too much. Anxiety spiked in her chest and in her bones, and she was tired of feeling like a liar.

With a sigh, Wanda plopped down on her bed and pulled her phone out from her back pocket. Unlocking it, she went to her text messages and scrolled to Pietro's contact. When she was sure no one else was in the house, she tapped the call button and listened to the phone ring until Pietro answered.

"You know I'm in the other room, right? You literally could've called my name." He greeted, accent heavy through the speaker.

Wanda giggled as she ran her fingers through her hair. You're safe. Speak, it's okay. She reminded herself.

"Yeah, but are you free?"

"Always."

"Can you come here? I need to ask you about something." Pietro gave out a loud, playful sigh but walked to her room, disconnecting the call on his way in. "What is it, my dear sister? What could possibly be troubling you here on this day? Is it that scruffy redhead?" He smirked arrogantly but sat down in the desk chair across from Wanda, not failing to notice how she rolled her eyes.

"She doesn't have scruffy hair and you know it. It's soft, gentle – and much less damaged than your shit show of an excuse for bleached hair."

"Whatever you say, little chaos."

Wanda groaned, "Why must you still call me that?"

"It suits you well."

There was a shared moment of silence between the two before Pietro spoke up. "What was it you wanted to ask me about?" A small frown was plastered on Wanda's face and Pietro found himself wanting to know even more now. Wanda waited another minute before finally answering. "Should I tell her? You know, about..."

A huge smile took over her brother's face. He was ecstatic that she wanted this for her girlfriend. "Of course you should! I really think she'd be interested to know more about you – y'know, since you don't ever tell her anything."

"I tell her things!" Pietro shook his head, "Does she even know your birthday?" Wanda nodded and turned herself away from him. "I just don't know how to do it. I mean it'd be kind of heavy just taking her out to dinner only to tell her my deepest, darkest secret afterwards. I'm scared she'll hate me, Pietro! And I've never even spoke. More than like, 12 sentences all at once with her!" He softened knowing how much trouble one past had caused his little sister. "Write her a note?" He suggested, but she shook her head. "I want to tell her, not write her."

Right before he was about to speak again there was a knock at the door. The pair looked up to find Natasha standing in the doorway smiling down at the two. "Am I interrupting?"

Wanda froze while Pietro arrogantly raised his eyebrow and announced his answer. "No. We were just finished talking."

Confusion was written on Nat's face and she stood there until Wanda shook her head and muttered a small "No," giving her the signal that she could come in.

"I'll be in the other room if you need me." Pietro got up, despite Wanda's silent plea for him to stay. He gave her a thumbs up and left the room.

Natasha closed the door and laid next to Wanda, wrapping her arms around the younger woman. "You okay?" Wanda nodded in reply and Natasha knew not to push. For now she'd just keep an eye on her, reassuring her that she could talk to her if need be.

Over the next few days Wanda seemed to be doing better. She was supposed to go to a party with Nat, but opted out to study for classes instead.

"Be safe," she whispered and planted a small kiss on Natasha's lips.

Everyone else went to the same party, leaving the house to just Wanda. She sent out a group message telling everyone to text her or ring her (at the very most importance) if they needed a ride. Wanda didn't drink much anyways so she didn't mind being the designated driver of the bunch. And besides, she didn't mind having some time alone, it gave her the absence of the boys so she could study.

However, after over an hour or so of studying Wanda was beginning to feel stressed. Her nerves were building and she could feel her jaw clench.

She needed a break.

With a small sigh, she got up and connected her phone to her speaker. After scrolling and clicking on her song of choice, Wanda found herself signing the words to a Modest Mouse song.

Green eyes closed as her hands began to string along with the words of the song. It was rather fast paced, but Wanda was able to keep up fairly well thanks to years of practice. Lyrics flowed through her fingertips and in the palms of her hands, her stress levels immediately decreasing as she went on.

Unbeknownst to her, however, Natasha was standing in the doorway watching her every move. She was absolutely mesmerized by Wanda's hand motions. Her finger spelling was very fast, and Natasha was curious to know how long Wanda had known ASL.

When the song was over, Wanda stopped her music and moved herself so she could study again. She grabbed her pens, pencils and highlighters, along with her textbook while her back faced Natasha.

"I didn't know you could sign." Natasha commented. A mix of shock and uneasiness quickly took over the calm look on Wanda's face.

It wasn't until then when Tasha put two and two together. She quickly rushed over to her girlfriend, and carefully engulfed her into a hug.

"Hey, no, I think it's really cool. You don't have to worry now, your secret's safe with me." Wanda began to shake in her grasp, tears forming in her eyes. She backed out of the embrace and against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest.

"No, you're supposed to hate me, laugh at me. You're supposed to be anything but be cool with it." Natasha tilted her head, "Is that what they did to you?"

Wanda peaked out from underneath her arms, the confirmative nod sent Natasha's heart well beyond sinking. She’d never understand how people could willingly be so cruel.

"I'm here to listen, not judge." Her words softly echoed in Wanda's mind, and she watched Natasha carefully to see if she was lying. When she didn't make any remarks or snide comments, Wanda knew it was safe. Accent heavy, she began letting words slip from her mouth.

"I have really bad anxiety when it comes to talking, so I just don’t. Asl makes it easier to communicate, but growing up I was often teased for it. You’re really good at reading me without it, so I hid it from you. Guess their words still haunt me...” Wanda finished, giving Natasha a little more insight on her life.

Natasha moved closer to her girlfriend, bringing Wanda’s shaking body into her embrace. She then kissed the top of her forehead.

Wanda looked up to see Natasha thinking, her eyebrows scrunched together and she was chewing on her lip. She nudged her.

“I think it’s quite beautiful if you ask me.” Wanda cracked a smile and rest her head on Tasha’s shoulder. “Beauty comes from pain, I guess.”

But Natasha shook her head, “No, No, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Wanda nodded. She understood what Natasha was saying, she just didn’t believe it to be true when it came to herself. Nonetheless, she spoke the words, repeating the mantra so that maybe she could start to feel a belief in them.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

#wandanat #scarletwidow #scarlet witch x black widow #wanda x natasha #wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff x reader

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boop-le-snoot · 3 years

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PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 19

First time reader click here

Summary+TWs: We're talking serious feelings here, okay? Reader, you're literally emotionally illiterate. You also have PTSD, which is finally addressed - kinda. Bruce does his best. And he also knows how to kiss... But y'all know that if you read my ramblings about lucid dreaming/shifting/whatever... Chile-, anyways...

My phone kept buzzing and I ignored it until Bruce declared it was time to take a break and review the results. Whilst the man was typing up the data on a nearby StarkPad, I fought the sudden influx of messages that I received from haters and supporters alike after Tony decided on tweeting a reply that could be interpreted in an alarming variety of ways. It was a smart move, I'll admit, but a fucking bother for me nonetheless.

Disabling my DMs and dealing with a follower increase in the thousands wasn't hard; I didn't consider myself a problematic asshole and didn't need to be afraid of "exposure". The parties I went to - I doubted there was any blackmail material in there and the few nudes I'd sent over the years were always face-less. As a gen Z, I knew my internet safety.

The trolls didn't bother me either. It was more sad than annoying, people shitting on others for clout. Iron Man stans were witty, at least, if jealous. I must admit I've never considered the influx of popularity I would experience should I publicly out myself as a friend of Tony's. Girlfriend? Intern? Science child? Whatever cover story he was going to feed the press worked for me, as long as I still got the hugs, the kisses, the dick and the attention.

"Tony..." Bruce groaned, evidently done with the data processing, had to have opened his social media to see his own skyrocketing popularity.

"Yeah, our Tony is being a Tony again," I chuckled, having reset my social media settings so my phone wouldn't constantly beep, vibrate and bother me. School was going to be fun.

Bruce shook his head, fond, coming over to my side of the lab after removing his own hazmat suit. His eyes shiny with newfound knowledge and hair turned adorably fluffy in the confines of the head covering. He was smiling softly. "Food?"

"Sure."

We chewed our sandwiches in silence for a moment, each of us lost in our thoughts.

"I still can't believe Tony told everyone on Twitter you're his girlfriend, usually he keeps this stuff private or schedules a fancy press conference," Bruce's tone was thoughtful.

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that what it was? Seemed ambiguous to me..." I trailed off, confused.

"He worded it like that on purpose, I mean, you're still in high school," The scientist was confident in his words. "But I know Tony. I'm a hundred percent sure that he meant exactly that. Aren't you?"

Shock flooded me. Suddenly, I understood I completely misread the situation. "Um, no? I thought we were, y'know, just fucking. We never defined our relationship and we're definitely not exclusive." I said, chewing on my lip. "You make a valid argument, I'm a high school student and he's a grown ass man that does grown man stuff. Putting aside the fact that he could have anybody in the world so why would he choose me?" I was rambling, thinking out loud. Discussing my feelings has never my strong forte. "It would be stupid to impose monogamy on such a complex man like Tony. Downright idiotic to expect a genius to confine to social norms just because it suits others." I finished with a wave of my hand. Another bubble of thought that had festered within me for the longest time. I felt relieved, finally voicing it out loud. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders, a weight I wasn't previously consciously aware of.

Bruce was watching me intently, with an unreadable expression that held the tiniest bit of awe, admiration perhaps. The silence that followed was unnerving. I fidgeted with my hands, not really knowing where to put them or where to look.

"You know," He took off his glasses, fiddling them in his hands. "I'm not going to sugar coat it. For the longest time, I thought you were going to inadvertently hurt him when you get bored with whatever you've got going on. I respect you, don't misunderstand me, but you are young. Now, I've changed my mind. You've changed my mind," He punctuated his statement with his hand on mine, grasping it. "I think you managed to understand him in a way most people can't. Or don't want to. Understand and accept him in a way that some of us can't even after years of working and living side by side with him." Bruce's gentle fingers skimmed along the top of my palm.

"I don't always understand Tony but I do accept him," I agreed. "Because Tony is a great man."

"I think you're in love with him," Bruce said, absolutely having ignored my previous statement. Just like that, point blank, he pushed to the surface the very feelings I got so good at ignoring. There was no rest for me in this place.

My heart fluttered, picking up the pace. I kept my mouth shut, not trusting it whatsoever. My thoughts became akin to panicked hares, jumping and zigzagging aimlessly in my skull. I didn't see the point in defending myself because the scientist had pointed out the obvious.

Bruce looked at me, softly, warmly. "And don't think we haven't noticed the rise in team morale. The improvement not only in communication, but on the battlefield, too. It's easier to entrust your back to someone with whom you've shared a laugh and a drink the previous night. You're the glue that keeps us together."

Something warm and wet was on my cheeks. I stared at our clasped hands, his words echoing in my head over and over and over. The moment I realized I was crying, I willed myself to stop and failed spectacularly - only more salty fluid streamed down, some of it getting in my nose, on my lips. The sleepless nights were making me unstable.

It took a single sniffle for Bruce to pick me up and wrap up in his kind embrace. I didn't resist, tucking my face into the crook of his neck, holding onto the back of his lab coat, inhaling the smell of his skin and chemicals. It was familiar, calming. Minutes ticked by with me slowly leaking the tension out of my body.

"He loves you, too, maybe he just doesn't realize it yet." Bruce whispered into my hair. "I've never seen Tony so happy, even with Pepper. You are special and you are loved."

There was something unsaid, I felt it. It hung in the ear, it burned the tips of my ears, stood sharp on the tip of my tongue. "I love you too, Bwucie-bear," I whispered into the space between his ear and his jaw. His arms tightened around me.

The man placed several chaste kisses in my hair, running a palm over my back. In moments like these, the crush for him, the very crush that got out of control, blossomed fully into a deep sense of respect and admiration. He made me feel safe. He said all the right words at the right time.

Drowsiness overtook me. As usual, any worries and anxieties I had evaporated, once Banner had his arms around me, shielding me from the world. I didn't forbid myself this time: delicately, my hand slipped through the man's soft messy curls, eliciting a contented sigh.

"You haven't been sleeping well," He more stated than asked.

I had no choice but to nod. "Clint keeps dying in my dreams. Or even worse, he doesn't, he just suffers, endlessly, painfully." I admitted.

Bruce flinched under me, tensing. My face was in between his hands in a second, the scientist sternly looking into my eyes. "Why didn't you say anything? All of us assumed you were okay after what happened." He looked - angry. Not Hulk-out pissed but Bruce-pissed, which equalled a kicked-puppy look seasoned with a great pinch of disappointment.

"I am okay." I lied, shamelessly. "It's getting better. That's why I want to have a party - relax a little, dance, socialize. I don't think Tony would let me go on my own so I figured I can convince him to throw one here." I looked away. It was better for everyone if I dealt with my own problems - they were superheroes, not babysitters.

Bruce frowned. "Why wouldn't Tony let you go?"

"Because of that one time I snorted coke," I rolled my eyes at Bruce's naiveté, leaving the less obvious parts unsaid. Tony knew exactly what I was going to do once I got free reign, he considered it destructive and told me so himself. Admittedly, he had a point but still... I wished I'd been given a choice.

"I'll talk to him," Bruce nodded firmly. "That's not acceptable. He can't forbid you from making mistakes and learning from them."

He was met with my shrug. No excitement came from me regarding this particular turn of conversation. I was drained, limbs like jello, thoughts sluggish. My face was drooping.

"Let's get you to bed," Banner stood up with me wrapped around him. "You need a nap."

"No," I protested. If I went to sleep now, only Satan knew at what ungodly hour I would wake up.

"Yes, Princess," Bruce smirked. I wiggled uncomfortably - when he went all caretaker like, my ovaries wreaked havoc on my body and brain. My thoughts weren't appropriate if Bruce wanted me to see him as a father figure. The signals he was sending were mixed. People around me did that a lot and I wasn't sure how to act so I usually just went with the flow. I decided to do the very same thing in that particular moment.

Curiosity sparked within me, tightly interwoven with the deep longing that settled below my collarbones whenever Tony or one of the others wasn't sitting next to me or talking my ear off. I've almost forgotten how it was to be alone with my thoughts. The maze of my very own self was becoming unfamiliar territory. Alarming.

I allowed Bruce to help me shed my shoes and outer layer of clothing, shivering in the coolness of my room. Despite being a frequent visitor, I still had a 'guest' room in the tower - I mostly stayed at Tony's or Wanda's anyways. During our sleepovers neither me nor the witch minded sharing her enormous bed, to be fair, we could have fit at least two more people in it besides us. Tony took care of his own - all the tower's residents had their apartments furnished with the best stuff.

"Sleep now, Princess," Bruce chastised, tucking a blanket around me, having noticed an earbud in my ear and my smartphone in my hand. I had hoped to kill some time online, damn well knowing sleep wouldn't come easy.

"I don't think I can fall asleep, Bruce," I admitted, looking away. There was just so much going on. My brain wouldn't shut up and if I couldn't drown out the cacophony by being productive, I'd troll the internet, as usual.

Banner sighed, coming to sit next to me, leaning against the headboard. Gently running his fingers through my hair, brushing the outside of his palm against my cheek. "How do you usually deal with this?"

Involuntarily, my eyelashes fluttered. "Tony does most of the work," I admitted coyly. The engineer had a whole arsenal of tricks up his sleeve - sexy and exhausting tricks.

"I see," Bruce muttered, thoughtfully.

I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me with a look I haven't seen before. The usual mildly absent, slightly anxious face he wore was replaced by something I could only describe as hurt envy, like a kid looking at their schoolmate who had all the newest, coolest toys. I used to be on the receiving end of that look far too often and I hated it.

I hid my face against his leg, rubbing my cheek on the raspy corduroy fabric of his pants. "Got any good ideas of your own?" I wondered lowly, thinking about what in the world possessed Bruce to wear corduroy trousers on a semi-casual day, in the twenty-first century.

"Only bad ideas," He replied in a matching low tone. His soft fingertips relocated to my nape, goosebumps rising down my back.

"Humour me," I grinned against his leg.

Bruce was quiet for a moment, the sound of his thinking screaming louder than any words could have done. Knowing the scientist so closely, I found out he was full of surprises - bolder than he appeared outwardly and competitive to a boot. He thought he had a lot to prove to himself and by extension, to others. The unknown, the mystery dangling in front of my nose was exhilarating, trepidation addictive. It took me away from the chaos in my mind.

A gentle grasp on my chin had me turning to look upwards, Bruce's face flushed and focused on my own, open and trusting. He needed to see the obvious, that I trusted him to take care of me. He pulled and I followed, sitting up on my elbows, coming up to his shoulder level, our faces inches apart, enveloped in the unique, intense scent of his herbal tea. It was a tart, strong smell and it suited his quiet but passionate character.

Once, twice, I caught my eyes sliding to his plump lips. They looked far too appealing in this position. I usually strategically stayed away from positions so compromising, fearing the very thing that I'd already let happen, however this time the atmosphere was different. We stood on ambiguous grounds, waiting for Bruce to make a decision.

The man wasn't stupid, he saw the way I looked at him. The nightmares and inability to take a break from life put a significant dent in my resolve to keep a distance between us, romantically - I could have settled even for a pity kiss, a pity fuck. Anything to put my brain on pause.

His lips were softer than I had imagined. Skilled, too, he easily steered the kiss into the shallow waters of our combined longing.

With Tony, it was like an avalanche. Tony ran hot like Peterbilt engines, hard and fast, almost angry in his race for satisfaction. Tony was a man that was used to getting whatever he wanted and it became plainly obvious when we fucked.

Bruce was the opposite. He savoured the kiss, losing himself in a way that could almost be described as delicate. Bruce was humming, softly, as we tasted each other, holding the left side of my face with careful fingertips. Almost as if he was afraid to break me. The feel of his skin on mine was soothing in a way that made me sigh and relax even further.

"Wanna make you feel good." His voice had dropped, gone husky, but his breathing held even. He must know all about self-control.

"Yeah," I was ready to agree with whatever the fuck he was offering. My eyelids remained shut.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie

PS. Letsby, please don't combust. The underwear is coming off in the next chapter. 😶

#bruce banner x you #bruce banner x reader #bruce banner fluff #bruce banner x y/n #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x you #tony stark x reader #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x reader #party favours #bun writes

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cheekymellows · 2 years

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Vent a-dent-denderrrrrr

Y'know sometimes writing just isn't my thing so here I am on good old tumblr, haha..

I may give off decent first impressions when it comes to meeting new people but after a while I do become distant...

Mostly when I'm feeling down. People ask what's wrong and I'm so quick to brush it off. People get tired of those responses though... And I get it. They're not stupid, they can tell something is off. It's frustrating because I know I can trust them, and I know these conversations can deepen the love, trust and loyalty. But I just never spit it out.

I want to do better. I know I need to. The vulnerability is intimidating, but I will push through this... I have to.

I'm worried I pushed away the most wonderful guy I've ever come across because of this problem I have with opening up and speaking my heart and mind...

At the same time i don't blame him of he's had it with my shit. He's the one who has always encouraged me to improve on myself; from improving skills in video games to my mental/physical health. I've been quite inconsistent with my efforts, I fluctuate, I doubt and fucking stutter. I shut down and curl up. I have gotten some professional help though, so I am slowly seeing that opening up does me more good than holding it in ever will.

He's determined, loyal, VERY consistent, confident, hard working, and absolutely charming. He's absolutely hilarious, and such a sweetheart. I've felt some way for him for quite a while now, or we have felt some way about eachother for some way now.

I will get my shit together. I am slowly but surely.

I will and can be just as determined and confident.

I just can't shake this thought; and maybe that's what has been my downfall of keeping things in motion between him and I... I just don't understand his interest in me. Maybe if I could just be more open, I'd let myself ask him that and get it off my chest, because I truly don't get it. I think I've let that thought repeat in my mind too often... so much that I've discouraged myself from being a better me. I really need to let this go some how.

I want to think freely and not care about what others may think. But maybe I compare myself to what he is and shrink myself when I mess up or don't do as well as I thought I could.

He is older than me though, so I'm sure there's lots he has experienced that I haven't. I know it doesn't make sense to compare myself to him, and that I shouldn't.

Ugh... Maybe I am too hard on myself, I need to let myself be and give myself some room to grow...

Haha this has turned into quite the ramble. I'm real nervous about what he may say to me next or if he will even bother to reply to me.. I sent a message apologising for going MIA for a few days. I hope I can explain and tell him a little more in detail and that he may listen. If not I'll just have to deal with that I guess. I hope he may give me one last chance to be more open and vulnerable with him.

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mementofloreo-archived · 3 years

Text

@sorrowmarked || hurt/comfort prompts || Daisuke & Hikari

[cut for length]

He's so tired of being a disappointment.

Daisuke's not an overachiever. At least, not in the way people tend to think of overachievers.

He doesn't excel at very many things. In fact, if he's being completely honest with himself, he's pretty sure that soccer and cooking are the only things he's really good at. Or at least the only things he doesn't have to break his back with effort to improve at.

His grades aren't bad by any means. He doesn't tend to have notably high scores but- contrary to what people assume- he studies properly and keeps up with his homework relatively well.

Hard work or not though, nobody ever thinks he's good enough.

Nobody even seems to think he's trying, most of the time.

And Daisuke will admit to himself that the overconfident front he puts up, the obnoxious facade he has in place to hide that he's actually struggling most of the time...well, it isn't the kind of personality that inspires confidence, is it? But for all that he's not truly emotionally open, most people don't bother to look at him beyond that surface attitude either.

They assume that what you see is what you get with Daisuke Motomiya. That there's nothing to him beyond what he shows. He's noisy, reactive, braggy, dense, stupid. Even among his friends there are times where those things have been said right in front of him, as if he won't understand or hear. As if he won't be hurt by it.

Since his parents split up and his mom took full custody, since they moved to another part of town and Daisuke had to transfer to another middle school, keeping up an unwavering front has gotten harder and harder. He can't push himself to be peppy and obnoxious anymore. He can't pull off a fake smile with enough conviction to be convincing.

Finally being away from his dad is great, really- but with the pressure and tension of his temper gone, Daisuke's defensive mechanisms have weakened and pittered out. What used to be a reflex as natural as breathing has become difficult and forced. And hearing about his flaws and shortcomings is getting harder and harder to endure.

...Which is probably why he went a little bit ballistic on his friends earlier.

Now that he's calmed down a little, he honestly feels bad about how angry he got with Miyako. After all, she's been teasing him regularly from day one. In all likelihood she doesn't really mean anything by it. And she might have toned it down at some point if Daisuke had ever actually admitted that the comments were hurtful to him.

I know you think I'm completely worthless, but I'm not deaf! You think I can't hear you when you say things like that about me?! You don't even have any idea how hard I have to work just to keep up or how much I struggle, do you? I'm just a brainless verbal punching bag to you, aren't I?

He'd stormed out in the midst of everyone's silent shock and ended up in his usual moping spot- under a bridge, by the river. It's not really a secret place, but it's out of the way and quiet enough that he can think, watch the water, and calm his nerves.

When Hikari shows up and sits down next to him, he initially expects a scolding for yelling at their friend...but instead he hears that.

I will always believe in you.

He looks up from his knees at her, sitting calmly, fixing him with a gentle and compassionate look.

He doesn't try to hold back the tears that start rolling down his face, but he does keep his breathing regulated as much as he can.

"I'll apologize to Miyako later," he eventually manages through his tears, "I know I shouldn't have yelled like that."

After all, for all she teases and for all they argue, Miyako is still a fiercely loyal friend and he's been able to count on her. She shouldn't have to bear the brunt of the force of Daisuke finally confronting and crumbling in the face of his emotional baggage.

Hikari is holding out a small packet of tissues to him. He gives a weak, watery smile and accepts them gratefully, blowing his nose and wiping his eyes.

"...Thanks, though." he says after a few more minutes of silence, "It means a lot, hearing that. More than I think I can manage to get across. ...I'm...really keenly aware of my shortfalls, y'know? Way more than people seem to think. Anyway, it just...makes me feel better to hear that at least one person has some faith in me. "

#「ʜᴇʀᴏᴇꜱ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴩʟᴀɪɴ║ꜱᴏ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ꜱᴇᴇ yᴏᴜʀ ᴩᴀɪɴ」 [Daisuke]#sorrowmarked(hikari)

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