#but this time in creating life SORRY literally sorry

[cordeliawhohung]

People are so fucking outrageous you take some time for yourself that you told us you were taking and now they're up in your asks demanding stuff tell them to pay you for it, sincerely someone who doesn't mind waiting for whatever you post

on god i literally spent the last few days driving hours on end and just got back yesterday, today is my first full day back home. and i've been traveling out of town for the outreach clinic i have to work at the next few weeks, and even then i've still been writing allskdjf

lmfao i don't want to shit on that anon too much, and i'm def not trying to be rude or anything, but i'm also going to hijack your ask real quick to address stuff since i do have quite a few new followers.

while some users might not mind questions regarding when someone is updating/if they have anything planned for an ongoing series, and things like that, i specifically have it in my rules to please not do that, which is why i got a little short with them even though they arguably weren't being rude or malicious (unlike a few anons in the past have when asking things like that). this one is especially annoying because it's been literally eight days since i last updated for that, and i have other series i've been working on! like even though i'm not posting for it, i've still written a couple thousand words for pet!au, and i just finished a chapter for in limbo i'll have up for early access here in a bit, and then on tumblr probably tomorrow or wednesday.

but mostly, the reason why i specifically request that people don't ask if i have plans/when i'm updating/if i'm updating something is because i literally have an irl life. i've been pretty open recently about how i've been traveling and the work i've been doing, it's not a secret or anything lmao. it just feels... tone deaf, you know? like you come into my inbox not talking about the work, or what you like about it, or otherwise engaging with it, but just to ask if i'm giving you more, like i didn't just do that a week ago. hell, even if it's been months or years that's still rude imo because if you like something enough, then you'd probably be doing more than just asking for more, ya know? at least that's how it comes across to me. and like i said before, some people really don't care, which is why i made sure to specify it in my rules, because i do care. it ruins my mood to write and create because then it feels like a chore and people are waiting on me just to consume it and then beg for more rather than tell me what they actually enjoyed about the work lmao.

anyway, no hard feelings against that anon at all, i'm sure they didn't mean anything by it, so please don't show them any hate or anything. but just use this as a reminder to read the rules of the blogs you interact with please. or at least don't be surprised when you do something that irks them and then they're annoyed at you because of it lmao.

sorry about the rant in the tags

#core responds #like i think i even wrote a little blurb in in answer about ps!gaz yesterday or something like that too #about his breeding kink lmao #and like how else am i supposed to respond to that type of ask besides yes or no? #like i'm not going to spoil what i have planned #that was also supposed to be a fun little series to work on inbetween my larger projects #and now it feels like a chore! #i'm glad you all love the man but #you act like i haven't written 22 things for him since april #i am not an endless content machine and that's what those asks make me feel like!!! #also why do i get those asks RIGHT when i start talking about something else? #like my mafia au? #speaking of that #i actually forgot to add a lot of my mafia au drabbles to my 2024 works #i'm actually at a 180k words for this year! #so literally!!! #i am writing so fucking much! #180k words in a little over 5 months!!! #and it's still “are you writing more” #fucking hell #okay rant over i've got like 5k words of in limbo to edit #actually no not over #i wrote literally 3k fucking words today #imagine working all day and being proud of yourself and posting about it and someone has to come in and be like “but what about this series #what about it bro? #i'll fucking get to it #i get you don't have to read every series i put out but let me work at my own damn pace #okay rant over for real now otherwise i will lose my marbles

[thepavementsings]

Sorry this is insane under the cut. Literally written for an audience of one (me) but i could not stop thinking about it.

i know what you're all thinking. you saw this photo and you also thought: pierresteban m-preg, didnt you? naturally.

Because obviously Pierre and Esteban have been fucking throughout the season. A dry hand job in the sim hallway closet is better than their PR meetings after another double DNF, right?

But then one weekend Pierre is out on lap 2 with an engine failure and Esteban gets a P4 and Pierre, loses it a bit. And Esteban hates losing to Pierre just as much as Pierre hates losing to Esteban, but Pierre is running the engineers down about engine mapping and understeer and... Esteban's slow pitstop costing them a podium? Like it was Pierre's to lose. And look. Esteban can fight his own battles.

So it's a tense walk out of the paddock. Pierre wont even look at Esteban as he shoves his bags into an awaiting car, his coach clearly receiving a getaway text halfway through the meeting. Esteban leaves for the summer break feeling unsteady.

It's halfway through the summer break when Pierre drags Charles to his appointment with him. He's happier today, genuinely laughing at Charles' gossip for the first time since Pierre told him. He's keeping it. The baby. There are a million questions, first of which is: how are you going to tell the team? Which really means, how are you going to tell him?

But Pierre is happier today. He is squirming around when the doctor spreads the gel over his stomach and laughing as he tries to shove the phone out of Charles hands, yelling something about no paparazzi in a doctors office calamar!

Charles thinks he will be glad eventually. To have photos of it all.

Esteban is trying not to stare. He thinks he can't really be blamed for it, what with Pierre practically waddling around with a scanner in hand, picking out seemingly the most expensive version of every bottle, crib and stroller in the store.

It had been hard at first. When Alpine had sat him down to tell him that Jack would be finishing out the season as his teammate. When Pierre had decided for him, for them, that he could do it on his own. Esteban missed the whole second trimester because of it. Fighting him to prove that it could be both of them this time. Needed to be both of them.

So he's not quite used to it yet. But when Pierre holds up two identical looking car seats and looks at Esteban expectantly, smirking when Esteban manages to choose the right one, he thinks he will be one day.

He thinks Pierre must be joking, when he comes into Esteban's bedroom with Amélie in one arm and the travel bag in the other. He's pulling the trophy off of Esteban's mantle before Esteban can even protest though, echoes of trust me! I saw it on instagram, you just have to see the vision! floating behind him from the hallway.

He's not entirely convinced this isn't some sort of child neglect. But he has to admit that she fits perfectly, wrapped up in her blanket inside the trophy. Esteban spent the majority of the car ride to the photographer's studio cleaning the possible remnants of champagne out with baby wipes, just in case. Mine and yours. Pierre has said it so quickly Esteban thought he had misheard him, eyes straight on the road ahead of him.

Pierre had been on the pitwall that day, 8 months pregnant and insistent that his babymoon be trackside. Beside him now, he is fussing with the buttons of his shirt, still stretching slightly around his belly. Esteban takes the hem in his hands, dragging his hands up to meet Pierre's and pushing the button carefully through the hole. Pierre smiled at him, opening his mouth to speak before a babble from across the room draws his attention away.

Ours, Esteban thinks to himself, following him.

#sorry i... do not know what this is #mpreg #i guess for the blacklists? in case? #literally saw that photo and was like: what if they were holding their baby in that SORRY i know. i know #i just think theyre both insane enough to do this with their trophies. #its not still a competition. but isnt it? #not friends not lovers but a secret third thing: teammates #but this time in creating life SORRY literally sorry #pierresteban lore

[flowerflamestars]

Effloresce Snippet

He kissed both her cheeks, bending even lower to raise Nesta’s right hand, pressing her cold knuckles to his brow in solemn salute. “Nesta Archeron,” Jurian said, like her name was twice its length, a foreign weighted history, “You ready to know whose blood runs in your veins?” Nesta, who had lived this particular conversation thrice over now, only shook her head. Touched between his brows in curious, only half-understood benediction, allowing him to step away. “Jurian. You survived the fires.” His smile was only in his eyes, rainwater grey searingly bright. “You wouldn’t waste time sending messages to corpses.” Nadia, from where she’d stopped three swaggering paces into the room, shedding her coat and swords with utterly false carelessness, huffed out a rough laugh. It was a bizarre comfort to see her, unchanged- strong brown hands dense with tattoos that bloomed into looser patterns up her arms, those knives and that hideous leather vest, remnants of a life that seemed nearly simple, now. So very far away. She cast a scathing look at Nesta’s guard, the Illyrian busy visibly wishing murder upon Jurian, his entire focus held on the distance between their bodies. “Protection has gotten more interesting,” she said, tone blithe, “Where’s your Vanserra?” “Honeymoon.” Nesta let herself lean back onto the desk, hand behind her body biting into its ash lip. Dawn, Winter, reconnaissance. Elain walking underhill in mortal wedding pearls, Lucien at her back. A heaved sigh, Jurian’s head oh so briefly dipped. “Wars and weddings, my lady. Blessings.” “When you were our age, humans couldn’t marry.” “Nor does he believe in any damned gods,” Nadia crossed the room fae quick, expression wicked as the guard flinched, stopping right alongside Nesta. A test, twofold- Nesta didn’t pull a knife as Nadia had once taught her, the legionnaire didn’t start in on violence without orders. “Don’t believe the prayers, unless they’re bloody.”

#yes I'm still here actually and having a great time #Jurian 'babe for all seasons' 'sweetheart with an axe' hero of humankind #Nesta's guard in exactly twelve seconds: LADY ARCHERON IS ENTERTAINING A COURTSHIP #Kali whose day has already been. long. to say the least: slightly wishing lightening would just strike her now #Nadia!! #'the mercenary' I'm sorry I give everyone names that canon does not #Not me creating a mythology literal years ago just to drag it back #Jurian doesn't want to be king he wants to serve a human queen! #that's all he ever wanted! #humanity free and led by humans #Jurian is also. old. in a weird abbreviated way that is not the same as faery old and thus has some fun ancient manners #Nadia has never been polite in her life #she's not starting now #Truly the amount of problems Feyre's sisters CAN CAUSE just keeps increasing #effloresce #Cassian somewhere quietly trying to drown himself in a puddle just to get a grip while Az does something unhinged and menacing

[couldtheycatchkillerqueen]

Regarding the recent post:

Killer Queen is too short ranged of a stand to affect most sleuths and it's not in Kira's character to drop Sheer Heart Attack at the police departament and hope.

Kira generally doesn't have many ways to deal with characters that: Work in teams. Work from far away. Have any sort of records showing that they're invastigating him.

The man had to be bailed out by Bites the Dust and still lost Most sleuths wouldn't even let Kira get away for long enough for him to aquire Bites the Dust so that's not even something to consider in most of these cases.

{But you're really ignoring one thing: It can't be detected by anyone but Stand Users. Why would they think they needed to investigate Yoshikage Kira specifically? There's no evidence of the killings, since in canon, even the police didn't try to investigate the mysterious disappearances. The sleuths would mostly not be able to understand that Killer Queen exists, and even if they assumed it was something supernatural, there's still no evidence. And the man managed to impersonate another man in front of his family, landlord, coworkers, and everyone who may have talked to Kosaku on the street, with only the man's child catching on. Had Hayato never thought to set up a camera in his parents' room, Kira would have never been caught at all. And Kira doing poorly against teams of people investigating him doesn't line up when he's gotten away from them twice (he would have escaped Jotaro and Koichi were it not for Act III, and he did escape the entire Duwang Gang when they were chasing him by severing his own hand), plus managing to keep his identity secret from EVERYONE except Hayato until the kid figured out how to use the time-loop to his advantage. You're right that most of the time Killer Queen wouldn't get to Bites the Dust, but it would be because Kira wouldn't need to. He has eliminated people in broad daylight before, and he could do so again when against someone who can't see Stands.}

#ooc response #not a poll #I'm genuinely a little pissed at the idea that Kira isn't terrifying in his own right #He was an uncaught serial killer even before he got his Stand #He was undetected until Rohan met Reimi #and would have continued being undetected if a literal ghost of his first victim hadn't been there #The man can blow you up #he can turn your watch into a bomb #he can turn your clothes into a bomb #He can create a bomb that will track you as long as you're the warmest thing in the room #And will likely do so if given the opportunity #There are multiple scenarios outside of BtD where if the heroes hadn't been as quick-thibking they would've died #Josuke and the dead man-guided air bubbles #Koichi and his distraction against Sheer Heart Attack #Josuke if Okuyasu hadn't come back to life #Okuyasu if Hayato hadn't sacrificed himself #Hayato if Josuke hadn't used Crazy Diamond at the perfect time #THE ENTIRE DIU CAST IF HAYATO HADN'T THOUGHT TO CALL JOSUKE #Kira is intelligent #Kira is subtle #And Kira could have won #Thank you for coming to my ted talk #And please stop suggesting that Kira would lose against Ordinary Goddamn People #rant post #ranting in the tags #killer queen #yoshikage kira #sorry for using you as an example anon but this has been annoying me and I needed to go for the throat

[8cfc00]

im literally going to throw up im sooooo mad i never got to trick or treat OR sleepover OR play dnd in all SIXTEEN YEARS OF MY FUCKING LIFE..... im supposed to be a TEENAGER doing TEENAGE THINGS but for some reason i CANT

#THE FUCKING TEENS IN DNDADS HAVE A BETTER SOCIAL LIFE THAN ME #WHAT THE HELL #sorry im listening to teen talk and theyre talking about key pivotal teen moments #and i literally have not been over to a friend's house in a YEAR #AND NONE OF MY IRLS EVEN WANT TO GO OUT AND PRACTICE CINEMATOGRAPHY W ME #THIS IS FUCKED #im not that mad about it though #pretty okay on my own #i enjoy the time i get to spend w myself #and i enjoy the freedom that it provides me #an di understand that i gotta make the most out of the situation i am unfortunately in #but like its so fucking hard to do things without the support of a friend by yr side... #but like being friends w someone just for the shit they provide you is kinda fucked #and if i think too hard about the power of friendship and the strong emotional bonds it creates #bad stuff happenbs #idk i just find it hard to find people who understand me #and i tend to click with people who don't share very similar perspectives on friendship w me #i just wish it was as easy for me as it seems to be for the teens #and in a way im afraid im falling behind or missing out cuz i lack a strong friendgroup to fuck around w #but i mean ive been told sleepovers are overated anyway soooo

[cowboy-robooty]

got desperate asf for some non-shitty heta fanfiction and said fuck it ill read the gerame fanfic cuz the author did make some good shit before (even tho i know it wont be THAT good since ill need to manually edit in my brain alfred as feliciano instead and make a whole extra unspoken lore to explain why feliciano is so ooc).... BUT LORD. IM CHEWING GLASS. IM CHEWING GLASS SO FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW. BECAUSE GIRL ITALY EXISTS IN THIS FIC AND OH MY GODDDD I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT LUDWIG STAY AWAY FROM THAT MAN STAY AWAY FROM THAT EVIL DEMENTED VILE MAN AAAAHHAUHWUSUDJJS STAY WITH FELICIA PLEASEEE PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! LIKE STRAIGHT UP HE DONT EVEN LIKE ALFRED BRUH AND ALFRED DONT EVEN LIKE HIM. ill admit the set up is good (its like a 1950s au and the reason why i trust this author is a whole nother can of worms that i put in my drafts maybe ill drop it later) BUT I CANT EVEN CARE OR TRY TO CARE ABOUT ALFRED X LUDWIG BC FELICIA IS RIGHT THEREE AND THIS AUTHOR GETS THEIR RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER TOO. SHES LITERALLY LIGHT OF HIS LAIF MAKES HIM HAPPY IS SWEET AND NICE TO HIM TUGS HIM DOWN AND RUBS THEIR NOSES TOGETHER LIKE MOTHERFUCKER THATS TRUE. THAT HAPPENED IN REAL LIFE I SAW IT. SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WRITING THIS INTO A DAMN LUDWIG X ALFRED FANFIC IM CHEWING GLASSSSSS!!!! BC I KNOW FELICIA X LUDWIG WONT HAPPEN I HATE THIS STUPID BAKA LIFE I HATE IT HERE RAAAGJWJSIIEKDODKDKDKXKDKZKKS RAGE RAGE RAGE

so far its a genuinely good fic tho with some nice character development and being able to take a "real life universe" spin on heta characters which i find can rarely be done well! id rec it to any ameger fanheads out there!

peace and pascal! <- (im sorry im lying. im lying. tw lies. no peace only pascal. sorry i lied on main. its a good fic thats true. but i want the earth to explode. feels like im shoving my dick in an anthill)

#to be fair i read all non itager ship fics by mentally editing whoevers with germany to be italy bc i believe they love eachother in all #universes #but this author is making it real hard bc theyre genuinely good at like time era and how nationality plays into identity so i have to #do mental gymnastics and create the most batshit reasons ever to keep it itager in my head #but yeah THIS ONE ISNT LETTING ME FUCKING IMAGINE BECAUSE ITALY IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE #GIRL ITALY IS RIGHT THERE AND GENUINELY ACTS THE WAY THAT ITALY AND GERMANY ALWAYS INTERCAT WIF EACHOTHER LIKE IT ISNT EVEN OOC #THEY HAVE INTERACTED FOR A SOLID LIKE PAGE AND A HALF AND I SHIP THEM SO HARD SHES SO NICE TO HIMM #THEY RUBBED THEIR NOSES TOGETHER EVEN MOTHERFUCKER I THINK THEY DO THAT!!!!!!! YOU UNDERSTAND SO WHY DONT YOU PREACH?!?!? #YOU KNOW THE LORD IS REAL SO WHY DONT YOU FOLLOW THE TEN FUCKING COMMANDMENTS!!!!! #no shade to this author too this is just my aids bc to me any ship wif those two freaks that isnt them kissing eachother is my antichrist #anything that aint itager is my antichrist fr #the other fic from this author was just so much easier to eat.. #cuz to be fair in the other fic it was a germany torture compilation and he literally did not genuinely love the other guy at all #i think that fic was true because italy wasnt present in it and i do believe germanys life would be like that would italy #what no italy does to a mf: unimagimeable suffering #i can accept that fic bc yeah i looked the author in the eyes and said 'germany would never love anybody thats not italy in all universes' #and they went okie! sure! :D #sorry guys im getting sepsis rn okay robooty when he faces the antichrist

[infizero]

you guys dont understand how much splatoon means to me. you will never understand

#will ALWAYS preach it has some of the best worldbuilding in anything i've ever fucking seen #especially in a video game. and ESPECIALLY a video game which isnt purely story-focused #splatoon's world feels so PAINFULLY fucking real its hard to even describe. the level of detail when it comes to LITERALLY everything #is insane. and thats only amplified when you're someone who's been playing it for a long time and has seen this world change in real time #i will always adore how time passes the same in splatoon's world as it does in real life. however long it's been since the last game came #out - thats how long its been in splatoon's world! characters are constantly changing and doing new things and taking on new roles #AND of course. the final splatfests making it so player input has a direct and pivotal effect on the setting and plot of the next game. #SO fucking cool and insane. like what other piece of media is like that #because of things like that and the worldbuilding and everything i also think that splatoon has one of the most seamless transitions #between singleplayer and multiplayer modes. a lot of times in games esp with stories those modes feel very disconnected #but in splatoon things that you do in singleplayer modes have an actual EFFECT on the world of multiplayer #i will never forget. how cool it felt when octo expansion came out and suddenly octolings started popping up in multiplayer #because in the irl sense. of course they were! people were beating that singleplayer mode and unlocking the ability to play as octolings #in multiplayer. but in-universe THIS IS ACTUALLY WHATS HAPPENING!!!! after your agent 8 escapes more octolings follow in their footsteps #and it is an actual noticeable cultural shift in the world of splatoon with it being talked about on the news and stuff #and this story of octolings coming to the surface and integrating into inkling society works perfectly because its not just something #you're hearing about. you are actually seeing IN REAL TIME octolings start to populate the city and matches because REAL PLAYERS are #playing as them. fitting perfectly into that narrative being created. its soooooo fucking good #anyways sorry i just love splatoon so much and i love talking about why its incredible #serena.txt

[oflgtfol]

gawd having to act straight at michaels is crazy bc so many of my coworkers just talk about the guys theyre dating and or fucking and its crayzay so my one manager showed me a pic of the guy shes just fwb with right now and she was like hes sooo hot and i was like meh i mean not my type i guess like not ugly but whatevs and she was like well what is your type and i was like OH NO i shouldnt have worded it that way so i said oh i dont really know i just know it when i see it i guess. and she was like well cant you list like traits characteristics and i was like. Well. i must say this. i know its controversial but i do like mustaches. and she was like. that is very controversial

#IM SORRY I JUST LIKE MUSTACHES i think they rule #when someone has an epic mustache i do have to be impressed #brot posts #im sooo sick of being at work. honestly this has happened at my new job once now already too #so im so sick of being at work in general. and having girls talk about nothing but boys they find cute #i csn only hum along in feigned interest so many times im going insane #my new job is very lgbt friendly like we have multiple trans staff members and i noticed one whos training me actually has an ace ring #so like im not alone unlike at michaels where like. Everyone is cishet. #i had one gay coworker but he QUIT !!!!! for good reason but still i miss him :( #anyway so my point is like my new job is definitely like a good rnvironment #and like all my michaels coworkers are respectuful too its just yknow i’m obviously an outlier which creates a different dynamic #but just regardless i just like do not want to come out at work??? at any place of employment ?? #maybe if we’re friends outside of work and we’re talking about these things outside of work then maybe #but like literally being clocked in on the premises. boss floating around. just. its weird. im not telling you about such a deeply personal #part of myself !!!!! #so having thsse people talk about being straight constantly its like please youre putting me in such an awkward position #having to act along with it for my LIFE because i do not want to explain that im not attracted to men while im at my JOB !!!! #i can only evade so much !!!

[mezimraky]

'europeans are more accepting of ukrainian refugees because they are white' WRONG the same people spouting vitriol against brown people are spouting it now.

#under the sun with kai #i feel sick reading fb comment abt any refugee topic in czech because our local paper is just full of hateful little people #the kind that throw around the phrase 'why do they get to go to the zoo for free if i cant' a whole lot #at least our government is not following that rhetoric. at least they are standing their ground in terms of solidarity. #then again it is a centrist-right government so the people already feel like the government does not care about them #so in a way some of that anger is justified but completely wrongly aimed at people fleeing their homes because of war. #its exhausting. the way this is a tangled up sort of cycle. #the elites dont talk to the poorer people because they are deemed stupid and hateful. creating more of a divide. making them angrier and #not teaching them anything. not having discussions that could help bring people together. #the poorer people in turn take it out on whoever is even below them on the social hierarchy at the moment. #the government sees that it is the right thing to do to help refugees. the government ignores the housing and energy crisis encroaching. #the bittersweet feelings from after the last elections are back. #yes. woo. democratic parties won. but also. there is literally zero leftists in the government. zero. #the opposition is filled with populists and extremists. who play at being socially oriented when it benefits them. #there is no liberal left to speak of in our politics at all actually. the pirate party vaguely touched on it and they got fucked last time. #im sorry for this rant im sorting my thoughts. what i know. and its looking more and more dire. #also there are newspapers coming up with statistics that babiš is more likely to win first round of presidential elections. #and i do not know whether to trust them because i can NOT for the life of me keep track of all the media he owns :) #everything is fucked and we will all die here (by words of a podcaster on my fave leftist liberal news site :)) )

[trendfag]

in hindsight i do see how saying thats a lie instead of something like thats not true or just being like no i bought it contributed to the pressure cooker of the situation but i still get mad when i think about this

#but i absolutely could have started off the conversation with where is my soap. but instead i asked the people who had been in my apartment #for a week while i wasnt there before i moved out if they knew where the soap that i left in the apartment before i left was #because of course they did. they were the only ones there! unless one of their guests that they never told me were coming over in the middle #of covid before any vaccine had been created #unless one of those fifty people who would come over every night without me knowing took it! btw i directly asked them when you have someone #coming over please let me know. you dont have to ask for permission i would just like to know when people who dont live here are going to be #in my apartment. and i said this in our second week of living together when it happened for the first time #i got notice that people were coming over like once maybe twice. sometimes i would overhear them talking about people coming over and find #out that way at least! #the nerve to accuse me of stealing like everything that they lost they blamed me for eating their ham and chicken chow mein when I WAS #LITERALLY VEGETARIAN like they would either eat their own food and forget about it or eat each others food and then just blame it on me. and #then they actually stole my shit! and tried to steal more! and got mad that i took the things that i paid for when i moved out! #they said we were splitting the cost of a vacuum three ways but made me pay more than the two of them for it. and then got so mad when i #took the vacuum (BECAUSE I PAID FOR MOST OF IT) that my mom just made me pay them what they paid #I DIDNT GET MY SHARE OF THE COUCH BACK BTW!!! OR THE TV TABLE!!!!! and btw their excuse for making me pay more for the vacuum was oh well we #also bought something else with the money you gave us for the vacuum and didnt tell you about it. so actually its was completely fair. 🙄 #sorry theyre so fucking infuriating like literally roommates from hell but somehow i was the shit roommate #and i was the reason we had rats 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 like be fucking for real like be serious for one time in your life at least. please.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Buckle up for another unhinged story time. Now, as I’ve said before, I used to work at a sex shop. At one point I had three roommates and we all worked the same dildo slinging retail job and lived together. It was extremely sitcom.

Now, as you’d imagine, living with three other people who also talked about sex toys all day created a microcosm of people who were all extremely comfortable around sex toys and related topics. No one left dirty toys laying around but seeing things left in showers or showing off a new purchase was just a Tuesday.

After some life upheavals I ended up living with one of those roommates again, just me and her. For the sake of this story let’s call her Betty. Betty and I shared a two bedroom, and the layout was all the common spaces were an open floor plan and then one hallway formed a T, with my room and bathroom to the left and Betty’s to the right.

Well, one day my cousin calls me up. He’s coming to town for a visit and I offer to put up him, his wife, and their more… sheltered friend. (Unbeknownst to me there was a full Briefing for this girl before she met me so that I didn’t overwhelm her with my blasé attitudes towards- well, most things).

They drove in from two states over and it was a long drive. I had to work and couldn’t greet them or spend the first day together. So I told them to come grab my key so they could all shower off and settle in before me.

I arrived home later that night and found the atmosphere a little awkward at first. Things quickly warmed up and I charmed their friend, impressing my cousin with my immaculate respect for personal comfort levels. We had a lovely evening. By the time we all said goodnight I’d dismissed the initial tension as being tired after a long drive.

The next day we all decided to go to the zoo. I’m a morning shower person, but I let them go first while I made breakfast. After breakfast it was my turn and I hopped in the shower.

Midway through my eyes fixed on it. A little pink sex toy, sitting brazenly on the rim of the tub. Oh no, I thought. This was why things had been awkward yesterday! I left out a personal object because I’d literally forgotten to ever put them away by that point.

What I felt wasn’t embarrassment per se, because that emotion had been utterly eradicated by that point. Rather it was a deep shame that I’d leave out something that might make a guest feel uncomfortable. They told me their friend was sheltered and I had left out a sex toy, it was the epitome of rudeness!

I rejoined everyone and said, “I am so sorry! I didn’t realize I’d left that in the shower, that was so rude of me!”

My guests all exchanged a Look. I looked from my cousin to his wife, she glanced toward their friend, and their friend looked at my cousin. No one would look at me.

“Well…” my cousin finally said, “you didn’t tell us which room was yours yesterday.”

I blinked in confusion, Betty’s room and bathroom were basically just like mine.

“When we got here,” his wife continued, “we went to the other side first. In Betty’s bathroom.”

Reader, Betty’s bathroom.

Had been absolutely covered in dildos. Sex toys of all shapes and sizes covered every flat surface, the tub rim, the sink, the shelves. Wall to wall sex toys. Apparently Betty was doing a spring cleaning and had left her entire extensive collection out to air dry.

These three weary travelers had opened a door to the dildo dimension and had no idea how to react. To this day I have no idea what context clues they used to figure out Betty’s room from mine.

But when I’d come home they were lost in the sex toy shell shock, presumably wondering how they could ever talk about it with someone who felt it was okay to leave out every sex toy they own when expecting company in some kind of bizarre power play.

By the time they finished telling me about this we were all laughing so hard we were in tears.

“When we saw your bathroom with one little pink toy it was so discreet we didn’t even care!” They told me.

After my cousin and his crew had gone on their way I finally told Betty the whole story. She listened with eyes growing wider and wider and finally burst out, “That’s why they were so weird when I got home!!”

#ramblies #funny #story #writing #nsft #ffs foibles

[munch-mumbles]

kj post five hundred thousand lamenting the loss of my passion for drawing because its starting to feel like its never coming back

#it shouldnt feel like a chore! i miss when it was fun!!!! #as much as i try not to care about my art posts flopping because i know attention shouldnt be my motivator for drawing #it does still make me a little sad so now my brain struggles to want to create anything #like i WANT to create desperately desperately but i sit down to draw and just want to go to bed #the tiredness has been permeating my life ive become extremely socially isolated #which loops around to making me even more bored because im just in my own head all day and theres not even anything in here #my attention span has degraded to the point that i literally have to force myself to try and think about my own ocs most of the time #which doesnt even work because within two seconds i get distracted by being frustrated i have to force it #gruhhhhh . grouhhhh #i miss when mlad was fresh and it was so fun and exciting and fulfilling to work on it #now even though i still love it and want to work on it it just keeps slipping between my fingers #GRUHHH. i want to draw i want to write i want to talk to people but i Cant #i need to join another server or something because after my last Really bad mental period i isolated myself a lot lot lot. and ive been too #scared to go back to my old spot and now i very rarely talk to more than one person a day (excluding work) #im lonely and im too exhausted to be interesting enough to fix it! #im pretty sure 80% of my problems could be fixed with like. adhd medication #but im too tired and lazy and tired to start the road to getting it #sorry i keep coming back to append on more tags but last thought i prommy. i just miss when things could actually hold my attention #i miss having the motivation to do minicomics for lore drops i miss being so excited about aus with friends i would do multiple sketches a #day i miss being so gripped by individual scenes between characters i would take the time to write a multi page minific about it #why cant my brain HOLD ANYTHING ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #JUST PAY ATTENTION :( #i need a new hyperfixation or im going to do something drastic.

[fandxmslxt69]

I want to say I hate whichever white European coloniser man invented school but then I have to sit back and remember that the evidence of the first educational buildings existed in the Arabian Empire and now I can't hate because that my people

#this speaks too when it comes to maths #i say i hate european men for creating math shit #but then i remember that was Arabia actually bc Europe at the time was literally killing one another and worshipping the church #or whatever. dying for the plague #making no significant improvements in life (reminds me of today ngl.) #anyway i apologise to everyone on behalf of the Arabian empires #im sorry we were kind of dumb. #clem talks <3

[lesbianamalvada]

Person who says the word lesbian is "multi-dimensional" advises people to go touch grass. Ah yes the word lesbian is so much more than just simple and basic women exclusively attracted to women. How boring and uncomplex it is be an actual lesbian. Lmao yeah dude go fuck yourself, every actual lesbian with any self-worth hates you.

#sorry if we're not interesting enough for you #but that doesn't mean you can tell us what we are #all this tells me is that this person needs to get a life #brainrot #homophobes stfu challenge #leave lesbians alone challenge #yes mspec lesbians and lesboys terms created on Tumblr have been around since *checks note* the literal dawn of time #clownery #lesbian #lesbian pride #anger anger anger

[heavenangelly]

How I personally manifest things - An SP

I’m going to give you guys 2 ways I do it, since both of them are for real and fiction characters.

How I manifest real people:

I currently don’t have a sp, but if I did this would be how Id go upon it.

Step 1: Id obviously decide who I’d want to be with (and why, because I don’t like going after people just for looks)

Step 2: I’d decide that they are mine. I’d get lost in fantasies of them, imagine us together, create scenarios b4 i sleep and use SUBLIMINALS. Subliminals are def my fav way to manifest an sp. Id also write down how our relationship would be and create vision boards that remind me of us and how our relationship would be.

Step 3: Id persist in the fact that we’re in a relationship / they’re mine. I’d constantly go back to fulfilment and lose myself in the feeling of being theirs / them being mine.

How I create an SP:

I personally love creating people. It’s also because there isn’t anyone I’m really interested in, so this is a fun way to bring someone into my life with specific characteristics I want.

I also use this method to create a friend/literally any type of person I want in my life, it doesn’t have to be a romantic connection.

Step 1: I’d decide what kind of person I want

Step 2: Id write down everything I want in them. Every single thing. I’d be super detailed but you don’t have to be. I basically make a script for my desired person, writing down how they look, personality, quirks, extra info and their relationship with me. (I use the notes app for this, but you can use anything you want)

Step 3: Once my script is done, I’d imagine scenarios with us, create vision boards that remind me of us and just overall be super imaginative.

Step 4: Id persist in their existence and the fact they’re going to come into my life or will come into my life by a certain time frame. (However, I would not be obsessed with getting this person on that exact date, I would focus more on being fulfilled and knowing.)

And that’s basically how I manifest an SP! I hope you guys found this useful.

PS: sorry I’m posting this so late guys😔.

#law of assumption #manifesting #edward art #loa #loa tumblr #loassumption #manifest #neville goddard #void state #SP #specific person manifestation #creating people

[toastsnaffler]

man. getting a little sick of being everyones 15th option for everything. when is it my turn to be someone's first choice :^[

#or even second tbh I'll take it #i had a couple old friends from college msg me recently to tell me what theyve been up to #which is sweet and i care abt them n wanna hear it! but they dont ask after me or show any interest in how I'm doing #and it makes me feel like I'm just their journal or smth. a brick wall they happen to be standing near #don't get me wrong I love to be useful. but when ppl only ever interact w u bc they need smth from u. well. #rly not doing anything good for this complex im developing where my self worth is directly tied to my usefulness to other ppl lmfao #i dont want to be ppls fucking dog!! or not any more than i already am but whatever thats all im good for i guess!! #and i desperately want someone to be my fave person rn bc all my energy is going nowhere + im at my best when im at my most devoted #so ppl treating me like this rn is just making me incredibly vulnerable to being taken advantage of. #like yeah i am eager to please and ill follow anyone around and do whatever for a crumb of attention but maybe #if you're actually my friend u shouldnt be encouraging that behaviour. even if it makes u feel good like cmon thats not so cool man #or if you ARE going to encourage it then maybe u should acknowledge the power dynamic ur creating + try not to abuse it. idk 🤷‍♂️ #urgh idk maybe im just saying words rn im very tired #I just feel like all the friendships etc I have atm are slipping into that dangerously unbalanced zone + becoming v one way #and I don't know what I'm doing wrong I'm trying the best I can and I guess its just not enough for anyone and that really really sucks #I'm doing better mentally rn but I dont currently have a support system + there are a lot of destabilising forces in my life #so im just. worried abt the direction things could take if I lose this foothold I've dragged myself onto yknow. #and I wouldnt have to be so worried abt that all of the time if I just had someone literally anyone I could rely on or even trust #but oh well. it is what it is. doing all I can to take care of myself so hopefully it won't come to that anyway. #sorry for rambling on so much if u read this far I'm giving u a kiss on the cheek don't worry abt me honey I've got this #anywayy goodnight #.vent #.diaries