#gruhhhhh . grouhhhh

[munch-mumbles]

kj post five hundred thousand lamenting the loss of my passion for drawing because its starting to feel like its never coming back

#it shouldnt feel like a chore! i miss when it was fun!!!! #as much as i try not to care about my art posts flopping because i know attention shouldnt be my motivator for drawing #it does still make me a little sad so now my brain struggles to want to create anything #like i WANT to create desperately desperately but i sit down to draw and just want to go to bed #the tiredness has been permeating my life ive become extremely socially isolated #which loops around to making me even more bored because im just in my own head all day and theres not even anything in here #my attention span has degraded to the point that i literally have to force myself to try and think about my own ocs most of the time #which doesnt even work because within two seconds i get distracted by being frustrated i have to force it #gruhhhhh . grouhhhh #i miss when mlad was fresh and it was so fun and exciting and fulfilling to work on it #now even though i still love it and want to work on it it just keeps slipping between my fingers #GRUHHH. i want to draw i want to write i want to talk to people but i Cant #i need to join another server or something because after my last Really bad mental period i isolated myself a lot lot lot. and ive been too #scared to go back to my old spot and now i very rarely talk to more than one person a day (excluding work) #im lonely and im too exhausted to be interesting enough to fix it! #im pretty sure 80% of my problems could be fixed with like. adhd medication #but im too tired and lazy and tired to start the road to getting it #sorry i keep coming back to append on more tags but last thought i prommy. i just miss when things could actually hold my attention #i miss having the motivation to do minicomics for lore drops i miss being so excited about aus with friends i would do multiple sketches a #day i miss being so gripped by individual scenes between characters i would take the time to write a multi page minific about it #why cant my brain HOLD ANYTHING ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #JUST PAY ATTENTION :( #i need a new hyperfixation or im going to do something drastic.