#so ppl treating me like this rn is just making me incredibly vulnerable to being taken advantage of. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caatws · 4 years

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I feel so stupid rn because at the beginning of season 5 I actually believed Supercorp would get together. It seemed like the perfect moment. Lena was angry and Kara was emotionally vulnerable and all of their emotions came to the surface. I expected textual evidence that they're in love, and we seemed to come so close to it. The only explanation I can find for Supercorp not being together after so many season is that the writers are homophobic. Simple as that. (1/?)

And the way the people involved are treating fans is horrible. The fact that some of the writers seem to believe that "It's just fiction, no one should be upset, it's not real" has me at a loss for words. Their show, their own writing reaches so many people and it's bad that they don't acknowledge the power said writing has. I'm dropping the show until Supercorp is canon, which I know might never happen. But I'm tired of being used. (2/2)

honestly, you’re so valid, anon. you’re right to feel used, bc i personally do believe this show is 100% guilty of queerbaiting. like, unless the cw operates under a rock without internet, there’s no way they don’t know about the popularity of supercorp - esp since the ship has been acknowledged irl by actors (lol tbt sdcc 2017 or whenever) - there’s no way they’re ignorant to the implications of their marketing of an intensive lena/kara plot grounded almost entirely in emotion and relationship drama than an actual physical antagonist between them. if they know moments that fandom will interpret as supercorp will sell their show and get them more viewers, well, they’ll milk that cow as long as they can tbqh.

i think the argument of “oh fiction isn’t real” is bullshit, because i know this show prides itself on its diverse representation. it makes no sense to talk about the importance of your diverse representation in one moment, then immediately turn around and say ~jk it’s not real it’s fiction~ unless your goal is to literally be hypocritical ????

in all my years of fandom (and just consuming media in general, since childhood), i’ve honestly never been as invested in a fanon ship as supercorp. as a writer, it checks so many boxes for me; as a lesbian, it checks even more. not to mention the obvious parallels to lois/clark and the simple fact that if either kara or lena was a man, this shit would’ve been canon by now.

the writing on supergirl has been near unbearable for me since s3, hence why i gave up during s4, which makes me sad bc i truly am invested in these characters...and i know a lot of other ppl who don’t even watch the show (outside of keeping tabs on the f/f ships on tumblr and such) love these characters as well, which has led to some incredible fanfics, written by ppl who literally don’t watch, that are better and more in-character than the actual goddamn show!

this show is fucking broken lmao.

#ask #supergirl #Anonymous

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assholemurphy · 5 years

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so, i’m incredibly drunk rn. like absolutely trashed. it’s absolutely fantastic. i love this. i literally don’t feel a single bad thin at all. and i’m hoping i do a generally decent job of typing bc like, i feel the need to talk abt what just happened.

my brother recently moved in with me, so he was here when my friends and i decided to get drunk (and ofc we included him bc it’s polite) but now he’s pissed at me. bc i tole him not to make fun of me for my relationship w/my best friend. which he thought was hilarious. bc i was openly being vulnerable/showing i rly cared abt him.

i just spent the last 2 hours laying on my best friend’s chest (pretty boy,m ofc, in cfase any of you weren’t aware of the human i care most abt in the world) and telling him i loved him and how much he means to me and all that gross shit you say when you’re drunk and have no inhibitions. and it’s true, i love that man more than i love anyone, he’s my best friend and i’de die for him, but my bro seemed to think this was funny. like i deserved to be shamed for caring abt another human being. bc ofc that’s something ppl should feel embarrassed abt.

so, when i told him not to say anything abt it, he asked me how embarrassed i wanted to be, and i snapped at him. bc that’s rude and i didn’t spend most of my childhood raising that fucker just for him to try to make me embarrassed abt how much i care for the one human being who has ever given a shit abt me, without asking for anything in return. pb has never asked any more of me than i can give, he’s pushed me to be a beeter person, and is always there when i need him to be, no matter what. so i finally told him how much he actually means to me, kind of. i held some stuff back bc i was aware i wasn’t alone in the room (rafiki (who i don’t mind knowing these things) and my bro were in the room, too) but there was much more i would have iked to tell him. like how much he means to me and how i’d die for him and how much i love him. i told him several times that i love him, but i’m not sure he understood the gravity of what that means. i don’t love ppl easily. it takes a lot to earn my trust, and even more to get me to feel comfortable enough to admit i rly, rly care abt you. and i care abt pb more than i’ve ever cared for anyone. period. he’s my best friend, i’d do literally anything for him, and somehow my bro thought that was something to make fun of me for??? after pb and rafiki left??? bc of course it’s okay to tell your trauma survivor sister that she should be embarrased for caring abt the one person who has never made her feel less than human, or broken, or wrong just for her trauma. to make her feel embarrassed bc she admitted to loving that person immensely.

i think he’s a douchebag for making fun of me. for not seeing that saying those things made me feel incredibly vulnerable (a reason i’m sure factored into rafiki’s decision not to weigh in much). i think he’s a prick for making me feel like i should feel embarrassed for caring abt someone else, for loving them, for being loyal to them. there’s nothing pb could do that would make me not love him. he could use everything i’ve ever told him agaisnt me and i’d still care for him deeply, so my bro’s decision to treat that like a joke and ask me how embarrased i want to be when he tells everyone is just disgusting. i kind of hate him for it. esp bc he got pissed off at me for being upset, like any normal person would.

now, i love pb, but i’m not ‘in love’ with him. he’s one of the best human beings i’ve ever met and i’d do anything to ensure his happiness, but having someone else i care abt (albeit to a lesser degree) telling me i should feel embarrassed abt telling him i love him is just fucking gross. pb needs to know ppl care abt him,. i worry abt him constantly. he’s been hurt so often and doesn’t seem to see himself as the amazing human being he is. and sometimes i wish i was in love with him, so i could prove that someone will love him romanticall one da, that he’s deserving of that, but ik it wouldn’t change anything.

he keeps everything together for everone around him but he’s so fragile, so broken, that it kills me. he’s been hurt so often and he honestl doenst deserve that at all. like, this man is one of the best men i’ve ever encountered, i’d go so far as to sa he’s The Best. and v few ppl seem to see that and it’s fucked up.

so for my little brother to take advantage of a vulnerable and intimate confession (that i love pb so v much and that there’s nothing he could do to lose my loyalty) and turn it into his own entertainment is just disgusting. i thought i raised him better than that, but i see my parents rly did get to him.

but the thing is, i’m not embarrassed. there’s no one i wouldn’t tell how much i love him. he means more to me than any person i’ve ever met. he’s helped me more than any person i’ve ever met. he’s the best fucking human being humanity has to offer and to think i should be embarraseed for cfaring abt him is absolutely horrible.

there was a time when i would have been extremely embarrassed to admit i loved anyone that much, but not anymore. pb is the World’s Best Human and i will never doubt that. i love him more than anyone i’ve ever met and i’ll never stop. the only way i’d ever leave him is if he flat out told me to leave, and even then, i’d still remain loyal, i’d still love him, and if he ever needed me, i’d only be a call away.

i will never care as deeply for any friend as i do pretty boy, never. nobody has ever done half as much to earn my trust as he has. nobody has ever cared half as much abt me as he has. and i will NEVER feel embarrassed for caring abt him. he means the world to me. it’s not much to say i’d kill for someone, bc that’s easy to earn, but to say i’d die for someone is another thing entirely. and i’d die for him. there’s not a thing he could ask me for that i wouldn’t give him easily. he’s earned that. he’s been here for me when no one else stuck around. when i was broken, fucked up, and unloveable. he never asked me to be anything more than i am. he never asked me to do anything that would hurt me, tho i’d do anything for him.

there’s not a single person on earth that i value more, that i’d give more for, than him. i’d burn the whole world if it meant saving him. he’s the danny to my bones and i’d do anything for him. he’s my best friend, the one person whose life matters to me more than my own, and that’s saying a lot, considering i’m a survivor and i wouldn’t trade my life for anyone’s.

i sound like an overdramatic bitch, bc i am, i truly am, but v few ppl in my life have tried to earn my loyalty. v few have it. but he doesn’t even try, i don’t think. he’s just there. he’s so noble, so caring, that he doesn’t have to do anything special. he’s just an amazing human being. much better than i could ever hope to be, and i’ll never be able to show him how grateful i am to have him in my life.

i’m a drunk, overly emotional bitch rn, but if there’s one thing i know for sure, it’s that i will NEVER, ever be ashamed or embarrased of how much i care for him. he’s done more than anyone else in my life to earn that love, that loyalty, and i’ll never be ashamed of loving him. he’s such a great human and the fact that so many ppl refuse to see that astounds me. bc he’s the sweetest, kindest, most noble person i’ve ever met. no one else has ever rly given a shit abt me, and maybe i have low standards, but i don’t think so. i think that’s he’s genuinely the greatest person i’ve ever met. he cares so much that he wrecks himself in the process. i’ve never met another person who does that for the ppl they care abt. i always thought i was just overly caring and broken, but he does the same thing, only he does it better. and i hate that he takes so much onto himself. he doesn’t deserve to shoulder the weight of the world, not alone. i always thought that i was atlas, doomeed to carry the burden of everyone i cared abt, no matter how much they hurt me, but then i met pb, and i don’t have to hold up the sky on my own.

he’s always talkign abt bricks and how i shouldn’t carry anyone’s but my own, and that’s incredibly hard, bc i was raised to take on the burden of everyone around me regardless of the toll it took on me. but then i found him, and he’s helped me with that. he’s not only helped me understand that some bricks aren’t mine to carry and i shouldn’t have to, but he’s offered 9and p much refused to let me decline) to help me with my own. and that. that means the world to me. bc in all my 23 years of life, not a single person has ever offered to help me with my own shit. i’ve always been expected to carry the weight of others’ burdens, but here he is, helping me with my own, and i don’t know how i’ll ever be able to repay him for what he’s done for me. he’s done more for me in the past year than my own family, all the people i’ve called my friends, have done for me in the entirity of my life. i literally wouldn’t be here without him (and rafiki and goldilocks, ofc, they’re def improtant, too). he’s saved my life, given me hope, taught me to let go of the bricks that aren’t mine, and helped me become a much better person. all in the span of a year. bc he’s a selfless, amazing, noble asshole who sees the hurt in the world and takes it upon himself.

and i will spend the rest of my life making sure he knows he doesn’t have to carry that weight on his own.

so fuck my brother. fuck him for being an asshole who doesn’t understand basic human connection. fuck him for thinking i should be embarrassed or ashamed for admitting i love my friend. fuck him for being a juvenile little bitch who only cares abt how he can embarrass other ppl. he could tell the whole world what i said tonight. he could tell them all how vulnerable and open i let myself be. he could use it against me for the next 50 years. and still, i would not feel ashamed to admit i love my friend. i would not feel ashamed to make myself vulnerable around pretty boy. i don’t care if the entire world thinks i’m in love with him or if they think i’m pathetic for caring so much. i love him and i’ll never pretend i don’t. i shouldn’t have to. fuck what anyone thinks. there’s not a single human being on the planet more deserving of love (not just mine, but in general) as he is. and i will do everything i can to make him see that. bc he doesn’t, and that kills me.

i never rly believed in happy endings, i’m not sure i do even now, but if i know one thing, it’s that nobody i’ve ever met desreves a happy ending than he does. and that’s a goddamn fact.

#text #iz says stuff #iz has friends #i'm drunk and emotional and overly dramatic #but i love my friend #more than anything in the world #and if my brother thinks i'm gonna be ashamed of that #he's fucking insane #bc there's not a single person i'd lie to when asked abt how much i care abt pb #not a single goddamn person #bc no one in my life has ever cared abt me or shown they cared abt me more than he has #so fuck it if the entire world thinks i'm in love with him #fuck the theatre dept and fuck my brother #if they can't tell the difference between platonic and romantic love #then that's on them isn't it?#my only worry is that i'll somehow embarrass pb by not being ashamed of it #or that he'll start to believe i'm in love with him #so i'm not exaclt vocal abt it unless i'm drunk #but dammit #he's the best man i know #he's so kind and caring and gentle #he deserves the wolrd #and apparently he stalks my blog #so there's a good chance he'll see this #and you know what?#good #that self hating fuck needfs to know he's got ppl who wpuld do anything for him #he needs to know he's loved unconditionally #and even if it's not romantic like he needs #it's still love

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