#but this one might be the worst

[nugothrhythms]

Just one more reason to not use Spotify -_-

Link to story here

#spotify #streaming platforms #they're all exploitative #but this one might be the worst #streaming #streaming music

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking. #nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference #anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose. #isat #in stars and time #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat act 6 spoilers #isat loop #isat siffrin #isat bonnie #isat nille #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #doodlebyte #---------------------------------------------------------------------- #anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!) #which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around) #and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but #They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt) #and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good #(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit #distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally #stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine) #the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly. #but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief) #as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur #BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule #which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation #ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.

[anininas]

Due to drawing straight people my friend told me to "draw him kiss the tan man again"

#this might be my worst one yet #resident evil #serrenedy #leon s kennedy #luis serra #ani's scribbles

[strrwbrrryjam]

"we need more complex female characters," you guys can't handle molly o'shea, mary gillis, abigail roberts, sadie adler, tilly jackson, marybeth gaskill, karen jones or susan grimshaw.

#karen tilly and marybeth dont get it as much people are usually quite kind or just completely forget about them #but they are included too. with susan molly mary sadie or abigail they get the worst treatment #being called either a bitch whiny mean asking too much emotional etc #i can understand why people can't handle susan. sometimes i can't handle susan #when i see her sometimes interact with the girls or remember the fact that she killed molly i'm genuinely disgusted but she's more than tha #there are layers to her. she's like dutch yet people still like him and try their damnedest to defend him #people might be surprised by sadie being included too but god the hate that she gets from mostly men for being 'overconfident' is insane #you have complex female characters yet you refuse to either give them a thought or completely disregard them as one negative quality #and refuse to recognize that they are just as complex as the men in this game #treat them as such #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 molly o'shea #molly o'shea #rdr2 susan grimshaw #susan grimshaw #rdr2 sadie adler #sadie adler #rdr2 abigail roberts #abigail roberts #rdr2 mary gillis #mary gillis #rdr2 tilly jackson #tilly jackson #rdr2 karen jones #karen jones #rdr2 mary beth gaskill #mary beth gaskill #rdr2 van der linde gang #van der linde gang

[stealingpotatoes]

luke and biggs… thoughts?

many thoughts + it means luke has a type

#its so insane when u think abt it as a 'they never acted on it' love story #like u finally reunite w ur bestie and childhood crush u think its gonna be great finally flying togehter properly #u think maybe u'll say smthn when u get back from this if u survive #u dont even consider that HE might not survive #and so on the same day u become a hero to the galaxy u lose the one last part of home u had left #and u know its not the same as leia but my god ur planet might as well have just blown up #cause theres nothing left of the place u called home. nobody to share ur childhood memories with #the one escaped tatooine first. the one u always loved. hes gone #and worst of all nowhere to put that overwhelming love you've been keeping inside all this time. it has to stay in ur chest forever #luke skywalker #thanks for the ask! #biggsluke #skylighter #< also it has a sick secondary ship name

[lotus-pear]

guys idk about you but i am NOT ready to delve into uncharted waters as we move into new content with bsd in the upcoming chapter.

this new chapter could include anywhere from ada reunion and a return back to yokohama OR to a new horrible twist after fyodor’s death, ensuring that if he lost then dazai would too. taking dazai down with him.

not to mention if we return back to yokohama that’s a whole other gut wrenching story as one ada member is selected to go to the port mafia. i am not ready to see the futile and tragic looks on the other agency members as they grit their teeth and watch one of their own step into the world of darkness. the tragedy of letting someone go after they have all reconciled. being separated again, but for good this time

#AND AND HOLD ON……….IF ITS DAZAI OR YOSANO???? #DAZAI MIGHT JUST GO TO SAVE YOSANO. #NOTICE HOW HES BECOMING MORE SELF SACRIFICAL AND READY TO DIE FOR THE ADA?? ESP DURING MEURSAULT #MORI KEPT DAZAI’S EXECUTIVE SEAT OPEN. HE HAS BEEN KEEPING IT OPEN SINCE DAZAI WAS EIGHTEEN AND FLED THE MAFIA #guys if dazai is the one chosen to go back to the pm do you fucking realize that i will kill myself #his whole redemption arc….EVERYTHING he has done up until now to wrench himself free of the shadows of his past that still cling to him… #….ITS ALL GOING TO BE FOR NOTHING. IT IS HIS WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME. HIS DETHRONING. HIS FALL. #im going to be sick im not fucjing ready im not ready for this I CANT DO THIS #bungou stray dogs #bsd

[kitamars]

high school joui 4 shenanigans

#deep breaths takasugi #the worst friend group you will ever know #only ones who can somehow tolerate each other #gintoki’s one worst quality is that he cannot shut the fuck up #i couldn’t stop thinking of them after watching daily lives of highschool boys and they’d get up to so much dumb shit actually #can you tell i kind of miss my high school days #i sound so old when i say that wtf im 19 #painting has been a lot of fun lately i will not lie #but also college starts like. day after tomorrow im so cooked #GINTAMA OBSESSION PLEASE GET ME THROUGH ANOTHER TERM 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 #i might draw some ginhiji stuff to accompany this later bc of course i will #i am nothing if not predictable to my audience #anyways #sakata gintoki #katsura kotarou #sakamoto tatsuma #takasugi shinsuke #joui 4 #gintama #ok bye

[smoshpostiing]

"just make it happen already guys" 💍😭

#smoshpostiing edits #this might be one of my worst edits but the idea was rotting my brain i needed to make it #smosh #courtney miller #shayne topp #shourtney #smosh cast #smosh courtney #smosh shayne #smosh shourtney #shartney #love them sm #i was there man

[hylialeia]

you don't get it. she loved him once. she didn't have a maester, she had a brother. he sold their mother's crown to keep them fed. he said Dany, please. she loved him, once.

#I feel like the tragedy of viserys and dany is they really might have been close and loved each other normally of they'd been allowed to #barristan says viserys always seemed aerys's son but when has westeros had any sort of developed understanding of mental illness #dany knew him best and she said the last kindness left him when he sold their mother's crown #it begs the question how much kindness there would have been if they hadn't been children forced out on the streets #a brother dany says never forgave her for their mother's death giving her birth. #but who told her stories and brought her up while his own mental faculties were wearing thin #it doesn't feel like tywin keeping tyrion based on lannister name and blood alone #she loved him once. #that viserys had some inherent lecherous evil in him doesn't feel in line with that to me #it doesn't feel in line with dany please #if ned is the good guardian to tywin's bad one viserys was just a boy who found himself in that role under the worst possible circumstances #and who under duress of those awful circumstances and his own undiagnosed mental illness #(for which he never got any help or support) #failed his sister very very badly #leaving daenerys to feel the hole of his absence even when he was still alive #because she loved him. once #lol anyway! #asoiaf #daenerys targaryen #viserys targaryen

[leshyleaf]

credits to sir pelo for fucked up sans face of course

#IM STILL ALIVE #leshy animates #so poorly #this might be the worst one I’ve ever made quality wise lol #SHIT #anyway this audio is old but I don’t really care #undertale #undertale animation #papyrus undertale #utdr #sans #sfw

[symbologic]

Do you ever wonder if deep down, in Luffy's heart, he doesn't let himself worry about Zoro because he genuinely can't? Because the alternative is simply too horrifying to contemplate for even a second?

Think about how awful it was for Luffy when he lost someone very dear to him at Marineford. This person had even promised — promised! — Luffy that he would never die. That he would never leave him alone. Yet this person who was supposed to be Luffy's constant was ripped away from him, and Luffy was powerless to stop it.

"Devastated" doesn't even come close to describing the abject despair Luffy felt at that moment. He completely shut down and went catatonic.

#We talk about Zoro's devotion toward Luffy #but we don't really talk about Luffy's borderline irrational faith in Zoro #Especially pre-timeskip #when it seems like Zoro was horribly injured more often than not #and there are times where Luffy comes across as insensitive at best and uncaring at worst *COUGH* thriller bark *COUGH* #Not saying Luffy doesn't care. He obviously does; and he shows it in his own way! #But I've also seen criticism of Luffy's apparent obliviousness after Thriller Bark #and imo it's not entirely unwarranted. #There's unwavering faith yes; and I don't doubt Luffy's faith in Zoro is heartfelt and genuine #AT THE SAME TIME #there's whatever tf was going on when Luffy was genuinely shocked that Zoro was running on fumes by Sabaody #as if it never even occurred to him for a second that Zoro might not get back up after getting hit by that pacifista #and maybe it genuinely didn't occur to him...because he refuses to conceive of a world without Zoro in it #because he promised Luffy — promised him! — he would would never die #text post #my meta #one piece #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #zolu #luzo #meta

[jventureart]

im having one of the worst months of my life so i drew this thing to cheer me up

#it almost worked #i love him #the other small green op brawler who is too nice & cries a lot that i love with all my heart #deku #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #i love his all might scarf & i want it #we are both all might super fans #anyway worst month ever & im on the brink of mc-losing it #and drawing shonen is the only thing stopping me from #yk #:) #to add to it #one of my cats is suddenly very sick and we dont know why and we cannot take her to the vet because we are about to get evicted #so i draw anime to get one (1) taste of serotonin #jvart

[spaciebabie]

Spacie!! Babie!! What if! Your old expression post but with Springtrap? (๑´ㅂ`๑)

https://www.tumblr.com/spaciebabie/683801988265279488/i-love-it-when-characters-justmwah

here ya go! i picked a few i thought would be cool ta redraw. fudged the "im gonna commit crimes" one b/c i just didnt like the old angle

imma be real i dont think he would ever pull that last expression a day in his life but it was fun 2 draw so

also alt vers of the last one under the cut cuz i was feeling cheeky

#spacie splains #springtrap #springtrap fnaf #fnaf #william afton #purple guy #actually i can think of one (1) scenario where he might make that expression #i will keep it ta myself #suggestive #i mean not really but #i think he is disgusting i think he is the worst thing ta walk this planet (said with heart eyes) #spacie scribbles

[vampistol]

So... the hunger games lol

#jrwi the suckening #jrwi #the suckening #jrwi shilo #jrwi emizel #vamposting #i cant believe we get a body switch and its the worst time to have had one LMAO #rip shilo hes gonna fucking die out therendnskq #feeling mid about this but hey #might as well post it