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#but the reality is she never learned how to do anything like that
street-smarts00 · 2 days
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I have a request for a drabble or headcannon style thing, whatever you prefer. Where spencer and reader are very close (friends or dating you can decide) and he makes a fatal mistake on the job that gets reader killed 😳 if that is something you will do 🥰 thank you
(Long) Drabble: Doubt Comes in
Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!reader
A/N: Thank you so much for requesting! Normally I don’t like sad endings lol BUT this request gave me the motivation to write something with this idea I’ve had. I almost made it a full one shot but didn't know how. (if you like Orpheus and Eurydice, see if you can catch the hadestown references)
Warnings!: Sad ending/ANGST, Murder, death of a loved one, mentions of kidnapping, anxiety and questioning reality
Its kinda long for a drabble but not long enough where I would call it a one-shot, i got carried away but hope ya'll like it!
The team was working on a case with an unsub that was targeting couples. The team didn’t realize that the unsub had been stalking them since they arrived. He quickly learned of your relationship with spencer. 
You were leaving the precinct to follow up with a victim's family member when the unsub had snuck up on you. After you went missing the team went into a frenzy and tracked your location to an abandoned warehouse. 
When they arrived on the scene they had the unsub on the phone. He claimed that you were safe and unharmed. 
He said you were free to go but only one member of the team could go get you. He demanded they send in her boyfriend. 
Hotch was hesitant to send Spencer in. He was in shambles ever since you went missing that afternoon. His mind was scattered, he couldn’t think of anything but you. 
They figured while this was exactly what the unsub wanted, it was their best chance to get you out safe. 
Spencer was handed the phone and headed towards the warehouse. The building was dimly lit, it was so dark he could barely see 5 feet in front of him. The place was filled with storage and pallet rack shelves turning it into a maze. 
As he made his way through the building the unsub would give him directions if he strayed too far from the path. It was like the unsub had eyes everywhere, he must’ve either had cameras or was positioned on a hidden upper level. 
While Spencer was walking the unsub would taunt him through the phone. Asking questions about your relationship. 
It made him sick. He never said anything to the man on the other end of the line; didn’t want to give the unsub the satisfaction of knowing he was in shambles.
It felt like he had been walking for forever when he finally reached you. You were curled up in a corner of a dead end. When you saw him you jumped up and landed in his arms. He felt you trembling against him and it made his heart crack. 
“You said you would let her go if I came to get her,” he spoke into the phone with a shaky voice. 
“And I intend to keep my promise. You both are free to go. Except, she must walk behind you. You cannot not turn around under any circumstance until you both are out of the building.” 
“What will happen if I do?” 
“Let’s just say you’re wearing a kevlar vest and she’s not. If you turn around, speak, or hang up the phone, I shoot.” Spencer's stomach dropped. “And don’t even think about being a hero and giving her your vest.” 
“That's all we have to do? And we can go?” You asked, voice horse from not speaking in hours. 
The voice on the phone spoke again. “You’d be surprised how many men can not resist the temptation. The worst temptation you’ll ever meet, the one that lines between your ears and behind your eyes.” 
It seemed like a simple enough task. To walk out of the building. Spencer trusted you to be there and you trusted him to keep his eyes ahead. 
He placed a hand on your cheek. “I promise I-“ 
“I know. I love you,” You interrupted. 
“I love you,” he spoke softly before leaning forward to capture his lips with yours. The kiss was desperate, like he was trying to savor every last bit.
You both separated from the kiss and started your journey through the warehouse. This time the unsub wasn’t giving him directions to find his way back. At first he didn’t need them, with his eidetic memory he could recall the pathway he took. 
But as he kept walking the anxiety started to eat away at him. The darkness was messing with his eyes and the silence was deafening. He started to make wrong turns, forgetting which path to take and doubting himself. Either he was getting lost or the building was getting longer. 
The only thing that brought him comfort was the sound of your footsteps behind him. Or was that his footsteps? He didn’t know anymore. 
It felt like his senses were working against him. He already felt like an idiot with his mind not being able to think straight due to your disappearance. But now your life was in his hands and they’ve been trembling since he walked in. 
The logical part of his brain told him there would be no reason for you to not be behind him. But the anxiety running around in his head was questioning if you had ever been there at all. Or why would he let him win? Why would he let her go?
He had thoughts pounding in his mind of “Is this a trap that's been laid for me? Is this a trick that's been played on me?”
After what felt like a lifetime he made it to the front door. His footsteps picked up and he grasped at the handle to feverishly push the door open. 
Spencer walked outside as a wave of relief washed over him. They finally made it. 
He turned to face you as the corners of his mouth perked up. He met your eyes, shining with glee that you made it out safe. 
Then it got loud. He heard gunshots vibrating against his eardrums. Your eyes went wide as saucers. You grasped at your abdomen before you crashed into Spencer. 
How could this happen? They made it out. He said he would let them go. And Then Spencer saw it. 
You hadn’t made it out yet. 
He turned to look at you before you crossed. You both didn’t make it out. You got hurt, and it was his fault. 
He held you close to him. The surrounding sounds all blended together. Morgans screams for a medic, the officers breaking into the building. That all fell on deaf ears. 
It seemed as though his whole life fell apart when he saw you mouth his name as the light disappeared from your eyes.
Your life was in his hands, and he let you slip away.
“Eurydice, dying now a second time, uttered no complaint against her husband. What was there to complain of, but that she had been loved?” ― Ovid, Metamorphoses
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Having to gentle parent my own mother is something that is really difficult
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chaotictomtom · 11 months
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hehe hoho feeling absolute rage!!!!!!!!!
#i thought mothers in laws being the worst human possible was a myth. guess what#GOING BALLISTIC 👍#i don't give a shit abt her being all lovey dovey and shit but straight up homophobic and transphobic in my back.#even if after months and months living (hell) with her she never misgendered me nor say anything abt her son being with a man#kinda impressive to be that respectful for this amount of time then in reality being the biggest bigot on earth#like damn. she do be commited to the bit huh (making ppl she's not bothered by my existence) (when in reality she kinda wants me dead)#but like. ALL THE OTHER THINGS.....#IM USED TO THE HATE CRIMED BUT HAVE TRULY LESS TOLERANCE ABT THE TURMOIL BF IS GOING THROUGH BC OF HER LOL#thank fuck so many good ppl who also know who horrible she is are supporting bf with me#the more i learn abt her the more!!!!!! im loosing my temper lmao help im never angry what am I supposed to do with all this#IT'S NOT ONLY SHIT SHE DOES TO HER OWN SON SHE'S TERRIBLE WITH OTHER PPL 💀💀💀💀#i want so badly to warn that company abt the abuse she did to one of the worker going there but i caaaan't#and god knows it reminds me of my groomer and how there's a risk she could do that to other ppl if no one does anything 💀#I mean abt my groomer it is a certainty as he did abuse another wee lad after me and started with another lass and. idk what he's up to now#and it does not help with sleeping at night. but anyway hoping that she won't pull out shit like that with the other workers#she drove everybody working at that company away for having the reputation of being absolutely horrible anyway lmao 💀💀💀💀#sorry for renting no one gives a shit but im simply!!!! loosing it ++++++#need to find a way to channel this anger now lol help!!!!!!!! what do now#tomtom_is_rambling#tomtom_is_venting
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isekyaaa · 1 year
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The junk thing about mental illness and insecurities is that like... If you've learned how to cope and improve and better yourself, people that haven't been able to do so look at you like your struggles were less than theirs, like you're just naturally stronger of a person or that your struggles weren't as bad. Any advice you give is oversimplifying things. Any help you offer isn't rooted in reality. It's very frustrating to deal with.
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inkskinned · 6 months
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in the time loop the only way out is to leave her there but you don't ever leave her there, never in the roughly one thousand years you have been in the same day. it is probably like "50 first dates" but you haven't stooped so low as to watch "50 first dates" yet. (but who is to say what another thousand years of the same media will bring to you, maybe you will develop a new taste).
you spent about 200 of these years sulking in a bathtub or on the couch or staring at the seaside. 300 of them have been spent slowly mapping the geographical distance you can actually get before the time loop restarts. you have a list of favorite places: one library in Western Massachusetts called "The Bookmill", which has weird hours and has never raised an eyebrow to you arriving out-of-breath and panting, asking to see a specific book on a specific shelf. There is one beach without a name in North Carolina; it is an accident of geography and ownership title disputes - and it is pristine, untouched, warm and cozy. you've taken her on a lot of picnics there. Acadia National Park. One specific birdhouse in the mountains.
you were stuck in the time loop with the money you entered it with: not enough to rent a private jet. you've robbed a bank a few times, you don't like the way it ends. maybe next century you'll get the hang of it. you don't like the look on her face when you say hang on i have to stop at the bank.
you just have to leave her, and you can go back to being a person again. you took 5 years just catching a flight and sitting in the Grand Canyon. if there's one thing you regret more than anything, it's that you hadn't gotten your passport renewed before this fucking time loop. maybe you should spend some time learning forgery - but also, like, you look like an english teacher. nobody is going to be cool about you asking to see their paper printing machines.
the world is very big. that is one of the things groundhog day gets wrong. there are no consequences, so you have literally all the time (or none of the time?) in the world. in groundhog day, he does a lot of very cool things, but in reality - your muscle memory never gets better. you can't necessarily learn how to play piano or sculpt ice, because your hands never remember the practice. but hey - maybe you'll try violin next. drums. synth.
you can open any door and walk into any conversation. money isn't really an object. you can try every meal off every menu, forever. take her on helicopter tours and into every museum and on every event that is happening right-now at-this-moment. parades and funerals and calligraphy classes.
but you are somewhat trapped by the limitations of your body. if you were reading a book, you still need to get up and go back to the library and find that book again when the day resets. (thank god for the internet). it still takes like 2 hours to board a plane, and then takeoff and landing and traffic. you've gotten off to run around on the freeway. one of the little thankful things: since your brain isn't actually developing (it's a muscle too), the days thankfully don't feel shorter to you. that would be agony.
all you have to do to leave the timeloop is let that man get away with it. that's all. in every version of yourself - forever - you have stopped him.
the problem is that this experience has convinced you of the existence of the human soul. after all, how else are you forming memories? your very cells reset. information has to be transferred somehow. and if timeloops are real, you can convince yourself other magic exists. so you have two choices here: this hell, or the next. there might be a millennia where you have been worn down to the point you can accept fate's decision. this is just not one of them. ironically - she is the one thing you have left.
and besides! if you can't always find something new in your partner, aren't you failing them? there is something new about her, every day with the same morning. every brutal day with the same orange sunset.
after all, you wanted to live with her in heaven, in eternity, and, well - isn't this second-best.
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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my skill is making nonsense out of nothing fr 👍
#🌙.rambles#reading some old rambles from years back is quite endearing actually#n i. rlly would love to tell me younger self how i love how she thought through those stuff abt my wol well#i wonder though what's the extent of which i cld write or imagine smth i've never experienced before#n likely at times perhaps i force it in a way in my head while knowing it is entirely like. yk fiction just so i can 'feel' it for the sake#of yeah just. expanding my knowledge n understanding of stuff#i think i definitely did that before in late 2021 w that one old ffxiv friend#i mean ofc there's some pain that comes w it but it's all for the sake of learning 🥺#actually i'm not talking abt anything rn i just want to ramble to myself abt random bs before i sleep#tbf i did have nice ideas when i'd use random stuff or create fragmented realities or idk what it is in my head#but i cld always yk differentiate what's actually real or not#being sleep-deprived sucks though i do not think right#i shld sleep. i'm gna get less than 3 hours of sleep like this 😭😭#just have to work on the speech tmrrw n do quite a lot of research bcs of the topic i chose sob#maybe i cld've done something easier n i cld always change it but No i find this interesting n i will pull through#mostly just that n i cld play some ffxiv n fix the fc server c: n farm more gbf bcs i did not play much today#I GOT EUSTACE SUMMER THOUGH !!!! this anniv i have barely gotten anything new but 🥺 eustace is cool. n i got lucifer hehe from 100 <3#as long as i don't lose sight of my passions n like. yeah the love i have for sm things in my life n then hope n always striving to improve#yk i'll continue to thrive. succeed 🫶🏼🫶🏼#i'm not sleepy rn i feel motivated but no i shld rlly goddamn sleep#i came across some notes too of how i wrote my wol like exactly two years ago n.. funny how it still hits now :^)#but yk reading that reminded me of how much time has passed but like. more in a 'ive managed to accomplish so much more since then' way#i'm proud of myself. & i'll continue to do what i can so i can continue to be proud of who i am at heart#n like fuck social anxiety but i'll find a way to yk get through it all anyways. ofc. yeah#i will fix my account next week for sure.
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wonryllis · 3 months
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𝜗𝜚 'OH' I LOVE LOVE HER?
╰ 𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒'𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗂𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝗋𝗎𝗇.
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𝒏o𝓉ℯs. enhypen realizing it's you 𖥔 ݁ rom-fluff, kinda poetic? LIB? fem!reader requested word count ` 1945
꒰˵ˊᯅˋ˵꒱ love how this turned out!! <3. unedited!
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𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 he doesn't know much about love, he's never really experienced it yet. he has fallen for conventional and unconventional things, things that compliment and things that complete, he's been through the good phases and stuck through bad ones, he held on to things he shouldn't and let go of things he should. there are a lot of lessons he has learned along every relationship he has been in the lines of yet lee heeseung doesn't believe he's ever been in love until he has been with you. it wasn't something he knew he felt, but it was surely something he realized in the spur of a moment, in a split second of epiphany. he knew what he felt for you was something deep when he realized that yes he wouldn't hesitate to die for you, but what he wants is to live for you. it's easy to be the first to go but to hold your strength through everything and survive for someone, that is definitely love is what heeseung believes.
"baby, baby calm down i'm okay," he reassures your crying and frantic figure as you scan his injuries, ones he got from trying to protect you from a fatal fall. perhaps it was the situation or perhaps it was realisation of it all. when he jumped to saved you all he could think about was he'd give his life if it meant you lived, but in this moment he cannot bear to see you so devastated, to think he could've left you like this? no, he's decided he is never going to do it until he can't help it and even then he'd fight to stay with his love.
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 he has lived his life prioritizing his family over everything else. to him nothing can go above and beyond familial love. he doesn't really believe he can love anyone anything like he loves his family and that is a statement of disappointed in itself. if there's anything he wants to give his best for it's people who have stuck with him since day one. bonds need to tested by time is the belief he holds dear until his world crashes into yours and time changes from something that defines to something that builds. his relationship with yours is not as long as people he's close to but however long you have spent together seems to strengthen and augment the bond. his love for you settles into an understanding of his when finds you running through days and nights in the hospital caring for his family after a big blow. a choice to choose, not an obligation to carry out. a crack in his notions you give him a new definition of love.
"y/n? baby come on go and freshen up, i'll watch over mom," his hand rests on your head, soft caresses to wake you up after the long night you spent sitting beside his mother while he ran around for paperwork. as you leave the room in a rush wanting to come back quickly and take his place so that he can get his rest, jay finds himself seeing you in a new light, telling his mother that he's found an angel. the angel she always told him about, the angel he loves.
𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐔𝐍 he has spent years jumping from person to person, reveled and basked in moments of happiness and run away amidst the weights of problems. there is a price to pay for everything and love is no exception but he has yet to accept the fact of reality, the thorns that come along with the scent and beauty of roses. love gives and love takes, love heals and love hurts. it takes several trials and a meeting with you for jake to understand that. to him it is a conscious decision, a hard hit and an opening of eyes when he realizes you're the one for him. he has never made it work until you, coming to the conclusion in the middle of the worst argument that you're worth all the trouble. and if wants to have you by his side, he needs to fix this and he needs to cherish you. he can see himself with you for the rest of his life, one single person he is willing to fight for. for jake sim you are a sphere of acceptance, you redefine love and endurance for him.
"one day we're gonna have kids together and i want them to see that daddy really loves mommy, i'll change for the better i promise," jake's voice softens as he hits the big realization, getting down on his knees, tears falling free. your arms slip around him in a hug and jake swears he'll do all it takes to become the one for you, he'll do all it takes to make this worth it, he'll do all it takes to have you stay. because he's found the one he loves, the one he wants to be his best for.
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍 he has always felt a gaping hole in his chest, a feeling of homesickness even when he is home, a feeling of vanity even when he shines bright soaring through all the achievement of his dreams. to him there's something that's always missing. no he has never thought of love but he has never despised it either. he doesn't dwell on the possibilities of it but the absence and lack of them. until you enter his life completing him like a perfect piece of puzzle, a missing piece of him. he realizes his love for you in bits and moments of warmth, slowly step by step as you fill the void. from helping him through his hard times and cheering him on in his good ones, sunghoon finds his home in you, a walk so long but finally arriving at it's destiny, where it's always been meant to be. perhaps he's always longed for love and never understood it. nevertheless, park sunghoon finds it in his moments of mundanity with you. you teach him the power of the presence of love.
"my little charmie, loved your pretty banner," sunghoon leaves a wet kiss on your lips, arms going around your waist as he comes rushing to you a second after winning the championship, cameras all panned on the champion of the season but all he can see is you. you feel like a warm hug on a rainy day, a blanket of comfort near the fireplace. all the anxiety he ever felt, the pressure to be on the top, you took it all and turned it into something beautiful and enjoyable.
𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎 he has grown up surrounded and so bathed in love, he thinks he knows it all, he has seen it all. every version of love, and everything that exists in between. so confident he'd know it instantly, the one for him, the love of his life. but love takes time and love find it's loopholes. someone that evokes no romantic feelings could become everything in just a turn of events. kim sunoo never believed or cared to understand that until he felt that something for you. that little upturn of sparkles and butterflies, that intense emotion kindling in his heart when he sees you in a new ambience. a single moment of revelation when he's staring at you talk about things that you love, things that he doesn't like but suddenly he doesn't mind hearing about it. he knows he hasn't felt this way before for you, there's something different and that difference makes him rethink his entire relationship with you. you become so important to him in a split moment, love so familiar and calm yet unfamiliar and exciting.
"go on i'm listening," sunoo has his head on his hands, eyes shaped crescents, a gaze so loving anyone can see how he feels, so transparent. the tiny flowers behind you would look so pretty on you, no- you look so much prettier than the flowers, your voice is so pretty, the way your lips move, the way your eyes light up, has sunoo always loved hearing about legos? no. has he always loved listening to you? he doesn't know but he could hear you talk forever.
𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍 he is one who sees love in everything around. the little things and the big things. in the light and in the dark. in memories of the past and in possibilities of the future. there is not a specific instance where he realizes his feelings. to him you are the premonition of love. he knew it from the very moment he met you that you are the one he is going fall in love with. that inner instinct that instantly sparked up when you entered his life. every day and every second it grows, it piles up, it escalates. the weight of life and the wings of love you make everything easier. one who has always given meeting one who gives back to him. overwhelmed in an ocean of new eternal verities, a feeling so mad, blind and passionate he finds himself wanting to be bound to you by his every bone. if there's a forever then he wants to spend it with you taking walks by the river, watching the lantern festival with a smile on your faces, so sick in love it makes everyone else sick.
"i wish this wish comes true," jungwon whispers to himself as he watches you walk ahead of him, turning back time and again to tell him how far your lit lantern made with a pretty little smile on your face. he wants to see this everyday, every morning, every night till however long he can and if possible even in his afterlife and all the lives that come ahead. to be the one to be chosen by you because he for one will always choose you in all forms of reality and at every chance,"baby wait up for me, let's go together!" hand in hand all along.
𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐈 he has always found himself struggling to express his emotions, words and actions alike. something so inherent in him, he can't seem to overcome it. the sheer desperation to get his feelings through to someone, he's never felt it. he hasn't ever felt the need to feel it. to connect so closely with another is not something he has ever been comfortable with or wanted to be comfortable with. until you happened and riki's world went through a turmoil of sentiments, wrecking him from inside so intensely he could never go back to before. love is something he has never experienced and something he could never fathom. it just never made sense to him, how one could feel so much solely for another. but in moments of his silence where you struggled to understand it all, he realized the importance, the willingness to learn to express his feelings. your tears and your smiles he wanted to be the one to comfort and the one you showed your happiness to. the one you love and the one he loves.
"i've never said this before but you are so special to me, what i feel for you is something i've never felt for anyone else and i don't wanna lose you by not letting you know that. i'm wanna learn to show you that again and again," riki smiles through his tears letting himself be vulnerable before you, as you hold the little handmade gift he got. your own tears threatening to fall while you nod vigorously reaching forward to let him know it'll all be okay.
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TAGLIST ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @nanabbg @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly
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etherealkissed88 · 4 months
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learn indifference ⋆˙✧⋆
indifference = “lack of interest, lack of concern”
since we already know the 3d is always neutral and has no original meaning, we know that as the operant power we are the ones that assign ‘circumstances’ and ‘negative’ thoughts meaning.
we should continue being indifferent to the 3d meaning we dont care how it looks because it never means anything. being indifferent means no giving the 3d power, energy, no entertaining thoughts that dont serve us, no holding our desires above the pedestal, no accepting and creating stories based on our current 3d and dwelling in them.
remember that we are not our thoughts, we are not our circumstances, we are not our emotions, doubts, states, or anxieties. our past experiences have no power over us until we decide it does.
how to be indifferent:
be internally fulfilled (satisfy your inner self w the desire which is now reality) so that you feel the knowing of already having your desire which means it will be easier to not give a fuck about the 3d
accept the end and only the end: know that the 3d could be changing in your favor for example, a lady was manifesting a better high paying job and she got fired from her current job for whatever reason. because she got fired, someone recommended her to a new job which was higher paying and she got that job (which was what she wanted). imagine if she accepted the 3d when she lost her job instead of only accepting the end goal. this is why nothing in the 3d matters and why the 3d cant be trusted. whatever you see, dont identify with “this isnt working” blah blah blah because you should be practicing indifference like that lady. she didnt gaf about the 3d and continued accepting she was already her desired self
trust the law: the law is always working and failure does not exist. you identify as a desired version of you and fulfill? ok now its done. theres nothing else to do but continue being that person. dont let anything in the 3d crash you down. dont even entertain the option of “failure”
know the 3d is a reflection of imagination: it has no mind of its own. the only thing it knows how to do is reflect self/imagination so know that at every moment, you always call the shots. this is all you so why care or validate the 3d when its only a reflection of you?
hold yourself higher on the pedestal: when you put yourself (inner self/imagination) first, you become attached to anything else. finding validation in yourself only instead of the 3d. when you want something, immediately fulfill yourself with in imagination instead of searching for fulfillment in the 3d
stop giving the 3d attention: have you ever heard of “whatever you focus on grows”? when you find yourself being aware of the 3d, just shift you attention elsewhere
“As the end is accepted, you become totally indifferent as to possible failure, for acceptance of the end wills the means to that end. When you emerge from the moment of prayer, it is as though you were shown the happy and successful end of a play although you were not shown how that end was achieved.” - ng
“The best denial is total indifference. Things wither and die through indifference. They are kept alive through attention. You do not deny a thing by saying it does not exist. Rather you put feeling into it by recognizing it, and what you recognize as true, is true to you, be it good, bad or indifferent.” - nd
before indifference: *allowing negative thoughts to consume you, accepting the 3d ‘negative circumstances’ as true, when you imagine something and look at the 3d you feel easily discouraged and start to be a victim to it, feeling like you have to ignore the 3d because youre scared of it, you feel the need to search for answers in the 3d all day because you see it as more important than it actually is, you are attached to the 3d and your mood changes when a single little thing looks “bad”*
after indifference: *nothing in the 3d shakes who you are being in imagination because you know who you are internally being is the only truth, you dont care about experiencing things in the 3d that are the opposite of your desire because you know you always call the shots, if you get discouraged you get your ass back up and know yourself to be the operant power, you arent attached to the 3d and searching for its validation*
so when you are indifferent to the 3d, you dont care about it, you arent afraid of it, you know it holds no importance or original meaning therefore you dont let it influence who you are being in imagination. think about when people pass by a homeless person on the street: they might think about it in the moment but most of them would go thro the rest of their day forgetting about it because they just didnt care. think about that one person who always knows they look good and their jealous friend tells them they look bad: that person would not care about outside voices because they know that they look good and they only accept internal validation
your only job is accepting the desire that the inner self experiences, as true while being indifferent to the experiences of the human self
kisses, jani ☆
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seospicybin · 25 days
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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
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PART I
Hyunjin x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Hyunjin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (20,4k words)
Author's note: This is the beginning of an end to the series so please enjoy x
HOST: Lana is back! And she's got a team of hot, sexy singles. This group of people hook up so fast but nothing compares to how fast they run from commitment and their world will fall apart when they find out their dream vacation is in fact a sexless retreat hosted by the world's biggest cock-blocker. With a $200,000 prize at stake, will they learn to have deep, meaningful relationships? Or will temptations still be Too Hot To Handle?
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Hyunjin doesn't know what to expect.
The show is the first of its kind and it's also his first time being a part of it. The fact that the staff got him blindfolded doesn't help him relax, a staff holds him by the arm to lead him somewhere. He obviously can't see anything but he hears the lapping waves from his right side and in the background, he hears low chatters from behind and in front of him.
The staff eventually tells him to stop walking and turns his body the other way, he doesn't know what to do next except to wait for further instructions. They make him wait for a minute until a voice comes, a distorted, robot-like voice from somewhere close to him.
"Conquerors, you can now remove your blindfolds!"
Hyunjin immediately reaches for the back of his head to untie the blindfold and keeps his eyes closed until he takes it off. The sun blinds him the second he opens his eyes, he quickly shields his eyes with his hand and squints to adjust them to the bright light.
He hears a few chuckles from next to him and girls squealing across from him, it's when he lowers his hand he can finally see the girls standing on the opposite side. For a split second, he feels ecstatic to be the only guy there but then he turns his head side to side and realizes that's just his wishful thinking.
While the girls are huddling around and hugging each other, he exchanges handshakes and side hugs with the other male contestants.
"Hyunjin," he introduces his name around with a friendly smile.
"What's up, bro?" The one with an impeccable mustache and a sheer Spanish accent, Diego says.
After the males are done introducing themselves to each other, they walk over to the girls to do the same to them.
"It's hot, huh?" Says the guy with long blond hair and pale skin, Andy.
Hyunjin can't tell if he's talking about the sunny weather or the girls, either way, he agrees with him. He can't even decide which one to look at. they're all so attractive that it feels like his eyes are having a feast right now.
To get girls, Hyunjin never really has to work hard for it, just a little stare and a little smile, then he gets it. He does just that as he tells his name to the girls, oozing with confidence and charms. The eyes he's getting from a couple of girls... oh, he can tell that he makes just the right impression on them.
Before he can make any moves though, the voice comes back. He finally learns that the voice is coming from the gate of what he assumes is where he'll be staying for the rest of the show.
"Conquerors, welcome to paradise!"
Everyone is cheering in response to that and Hyunjin is excited as well even though he never really learned how the show is going to work, they only told him that it's a reality show and he'll stay in the villa with the other contestants, having fun and enjoying himself so he signed up for it.
"Each of you has a particular skill and so you were selected for a mission: conquering this paradise."
Another wave of cheers and exclaims bursts out of everyone as they stand facing the gate while the voice continues talking.
"Behind you, there are some buried treasure chests, and inside one of them is the only key to the gate. By finding this kiss, you'd be allowed to enter paradise."
Hyunjin turns around almost in unison with everyone else, he sees that there's a big circle around a plot of sand and two crates filled with shovels for everyone to use.
"You have ten minutes to finish the task. Good luck!" The voice concludes.
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HYUNJIN: I look like a Disney prince but I am no prince [Smirks] I have no time for relationships. I work as a model, I meet a lot of people and there are always parties and after parties. Sometimes there's a kiss, sometimes there's something more [laughs] That's why people described me as a spoiled playboy [grins]
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"I joined this show to do some manual labor," said no one ever.
You stare at the pile of shovels before reluctantly picking it up, this is not how you want to start the show but it's the only way to win, so you put your gloves on and start digging. When you think you're the worst one here, you see a girl holding the shovel the wrong way.
"Guys, I don't know how to dig," says the short, blond-haired girl with freckles, Edie.
"Like this!" The curly-haired girl with round big eyes, Frida says, showing her how to properly dig the sand.
The girls are digging at the same spot so you walk to the other part and start digging there. While two guys already found two chests, the other two guys are standing on the sideline not far from you.
"Thank God we're here, man," the guy says to the other.
The other agrees with him with a fistbump and then says, "So many hot chicks, it's crazy."
You keep digging the sand while pretending not to hear them and eventually, you hit something hard so you use your hand to take it out.
"I found one!" You excitedly announce even though you haven't successfully taken the chest out of the sand yet.
"That's amazing!" Edouard praises, you can easily identify him from his French accent.
He then kneels next to you to help you pull the chest out and hands it to you.
"Thank you," you mutter with a smile.
Ten minutes have passed and the voice returns to tell everyone the time is up. Everyone is more than glad to stop digging and get rid of the shovels.
"Let's see if you found the key."
The staff makes everyone who obtained the treasure chests line up in front of the gate and take turns to open it.
The guy on the farthest left gets to open his chest first and turns out it's empty. The second guy takes his turn but it's also empty. You shake your treasure chest to know if the key is in yours but it's useless to find out when the third guy found the key in his treasure chest.
"Congratulations! You've conquered the first stage. You may access the villa."
To say that you're disappointed is an understatement, it's not so much about the key, it's how you obtained the treasure chest that gets you a bit upset.
Pablo, the guy who found the key, steps forward and uses the key on the big padlock. He throws the padlock aside once he successfully opens it and pushes the big gate that reveals the luxurious villa.
"Welcome to my house, guys!" Pablo jokingly says as he leads the group further inside.
Everyone is in awe of what they're seeing, a big swimming pool, yards, and the big villa that sits in the center of it all. You've never seen such a lavish piece of property, it's so big that you possibly need a day or two to learn your way around.
The sound of the champagne pops open startles you and a girl links her arm with yours, a beautiful girl with long dark hair and sleeve tattoos on both of her arms. You rake your brain to recall her name, Vic.
Everyone eventually grabs a glass for themselves and patiently waits for their turn for Edouard to fill it with champagne.
You catch the guy standing next to you having a sip before the toast, "Drinking before toasting is bad luck, you know," you tell him.
Hearing you say that, the guy turns to the side to face you and it's baffled you how beautiful he is, the kind that would make anyone the slightest bit intimidated by it.
The introduction everyone did earlier was too fast and too brief, you can't remember most of everyone's names because of it. However, there are only two long-haired guys here, one is blonde and his name is Andy so that makes him the other one and you're sure his name is Hyunjin.
Hyunjin has a small face yet his facial features delightfully complement each other and the eyebrow piercing should be a violation of such otherworldly visual but instead, it gives him that edge.
"It's not bad luck when I'm here and having this drink with you," he says, clinking his glass with yours then bravely takes another sip.
His stare is the opposite of the sweet smile he's giving you, it's bold and confident. You shouldn't be afraid of superstitious, you should be afraid of the type of guy that breaks your heart and he's standing right there in front of you, daring you to take a sip of bad luck.
"The hell, right?" You nonchalantly say then you bravely sip your wine.
His eyes don't stray away from you even after you return his dare to him, he keeps staring at your face with his mouth slightly parted open and his tongue peeking out on one corner of his mouth.
"Let's make a toast!" Edouard says, being the first to raise his glass in the air.
-
YOU: I think my shine bothers people a little but I'm not here to please anyone [grins] I play tennis in my spare time so I am quite competitive. I think I have the biggest chance to win this show... I will be the first person to score [giggles] and I always get what I want.
-
A big splashing sound startles you this time and it's coming from Pablo who jumps into the swimming pool. Soon, the other guys join him in the pool while the girls remain on the side, not wanting to risk ruining their hair or their make-up.
"Are you girls going to stand there?" Pablo asks, squinting his eyes to look at the girls.
"You have no idea what it's like drying this hair," Frida says with a subtle eye roll.
"It takes me forever to do my hair, I'm not getting it wet now," Marie adds.
You also remain on the side by sitting on the edge of the pool next to Vic with your feet dipped in the warm pool water.
Not long after, the males join the girls on the side of the pool to drink more champagne, talking about random things from the strangest places everyone has had sex to everyone's sexual preferences.
You're draining your wine glass empty when the question aimed at you, "How about you? Are you bi?"
"I think everyone is bisexual here," Edie playfully remarks.
You decide to swallow your drink first then wipe your lips after, "I've kissed girls but I don't know..." you doubtfully answer.
Vic puts her drink away and turns her head at you, "Let's test it then."
She grabs you by the chin and slowly brings your head closer so she can place a nice peck on your lips. You let out a smile when she lets go.
"That's nice," you genuinely say.
"I want some too," Pablo says who happens to witness the kiss.
You and Vic simultaneously burst into laughter at his sudden request but then she signals you to give him a peck together with her. You happen to want to fool around so you play along with her and give Pablo a quick three-way kiss with Vic.
"We could do better!" Pablo says, teasing for another go at it.
Vic laughs and puts her hand on your thigh, "Come on! You can do better!" She says to you.
Feeling challenged, you lean in first to kiss Pablo and Vic joins in a second later, you can feel their lips on you and the occasional tongue licks in between. You pull away first but Vic gets her hand on the nape of your neck, not letting you pull away from her kiss yet until she lets go.
The next thing you know, Diego and Frida are kissing and so are Andy and Edie, not caring that you're sitting next to them and trying so hard to ignore them.
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YOU: I think our silly little kisses stirred things up and made everyone horny [chuckles]
-
Not going to lie, Hyunjin likes seeing you kiss another girl. Not the part where Pablo is involved but the part where Vic latched onto your lips after you pulled away from the kiss, that's just hot it gets him a little flustered.
All he can think of right now is when he's going to have his turn to kiss you.
"Are you guys going to stay in the pool? Because I want to see the bedrooms," Frida says, encouraging everyone to start exploring the villa.
"Oh, yeah. I want to see the bedrooms," Diego says, hurriedly getting out of the pool.
Hyunjin follows the majority by heading to the bedrooms even though he wants to stay in the pool a little longer, leaving a trail of wet footsteps behind him.
From the back, he can see that some couples are forming. First, there is Diego and Frida as they lead the group, walking hand-in-hand to the bedrooms. Next to him is Andy and Edie, walking side by side while cutely smiling at each other.
Hopefully, the third couple would be you and him, he can imagine how powerful would that be but before that, he has to take care of Pablo who has had his eyes on you ever since you shared a kiss with him.
The girls are squealing the moment they set their feet in the bedrooms but Hyunjin gets it why everyone is so excited at the sight of the beds.
"Guys, there's only six beds and there's ten of us," Frida says, making it even more obvious to everyone,
"Then we'll have to share," Andy innocently says.
"Who sleeps with whom?" Frida asks a provoking question.
Vic climbs onto the bed and takes your hand to join her, then starts to jump on it while holding hands.
Hyunjin randomly picks a bed and sits on it, ignoring that his trunks are dripping wet from swimming just to watch you bouncing on the bed like a kid having a sugar rush. It's a delightful thing to see until he hears the sound of the bed breaking down and the two of you abruptly stop jumping on it, collapsing onto the bed just to break into laughter.
"Guys, there's another way we could break the beds," Marie scolds you both.
But that only heightens the hilarity and you both break into another wave of laughter together.
After a moment, you go to another bed and lie down. Hyunjin wants to use this opportunity to make you his bed partner but Pablo beats him to it.
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HYUNJIN: Everyone wants to have someone to cuddle with tonight and I know who I want to share the bed with [smirks]
-
While the boys are gathered in the gazebo in the backyard, the girls choose the lounge to gather with drinks have been served on the wooden table. What else is there to talk about but the ones that aren't in the room with them: The boys.
"A toast for us girls!" Edie initiates a toast with the glasses filled with chilled wine.
The girls then take a seat on the curved sofa and get comfortable talking about their choice of guys, unlike you who still need time to openly share things with them.
"I'd hook up with everyone but the one I like best is Edouard," Vic says.
"For me, it's Edouard, Hyunjin, and Andy..." Edie cracks a laugh at herself and continues, "I think we should all kiss each other."
You see that Edouard is quite popular among the girls and you can see why, he's tall, he has that chocolate skin and a great smile, plus he talks in a sexy accent, everyone wants a piece of that French man.
"Okay then we should jump on Edouard and everyone gets a kiss," Edie says with a hysterical laugh.
Everyone is free to be with whoever they want to be and this doesn't bother you at all but if everyone kissed your man, you don't think you'll like it that much.
"You can kiss anyone except my Diego," Frida says, putting her ownership over him already.
"I think you two look great together," Vic says while holding her glass close to her lips.
"But girl, I want to hook up with him too," Marie says, in the most unapologetic way.
"Oh, girl..." Frida awkwardly sighs, deciding not to respond to that.
It suddenly turns quiet and awkward in here, worse is you're sitting between Frida and Marie, your eyes glancing side to side to see if there's a potential to be a catfight here. Thankfully, things stay civil but you need a big gulp of wine.
Today is only the first day in paradise and you can see some things happening already. Some people are forming couples but you think everyone should get to know each other first. While the others are scattering around to make a move on their person of interest, you decide to have a moment for yourself to truly enjoy the paradise.
All of a sudden, someone comes from behind you and interrupts the peaceful moment.
"May I sit here?" Pablo asks.
He doesn't wait for your answer but takes a seat on your sunlounger and forces you to scoot to the side to make space for him.
"Yeah, sure," you awkwardly say.
He puts his arm around you and makes you rest your head on it, sharing the sunlounger.
"Miss me?" He asks.
"It hasn't been that long," you jokingly say with sheer sarcasm.
"Come here to tell you I can't stop thinking about our kiss," he mutters to you.
You did the three-way kiss with him to fool around but it seems like he's the only one thinking it's more than that, "Yeah?"
He has his hand on your jaw and turns your head to the side so he can kiss you. You let him have a kiss then quickly pull away.
He then presses his mouth close to your ear and whispers, "I think we should share the bed so we can do more than a kiss tonight."
You turn your head the other way and laugh it off, pretending to fix your hair when you're actually trying to put a space between you and him.
He senses that too but instead of letting you have that space, he pulls you closer and kisses your cheek, "Are you scared of getting too close to me?"
"No..." you weakly answer.
Pablo is what you call a textbook player, you recognize the games he's playing but what gives you the ick is how clingy he is. You don't know how to say that to him without hurting his ego.
"I like to talk. I talked to the other guys and all, and I want us to talk too," you say to him.
But Pablo doesn't want to do that, he comes for you for one thing only and it's not talking. He suddenly turns quiet and reclines on the lounger, he stares out at the view, letting the silence turn awkward.
"It's a gorgeous villa," he says out of the blue.
"Mmh, yeah."
"I think I want to see the rest of it," he says, getting up from the lounger to explore the villa.
-
YOU: With Pablo... [sighs] I think he came on too strong and we're lacking in conversations.
-
Pablo had his chance at you and he blew it.
That doesn't worry Hyunjin. He always has a good aim so he won't hesitate to take his turn to take a shot at you. He knows it's the right time to make a move on you since you're alone, lying inside the hammock while looking at the view of the sea.
Hyunjin makes his arrival known by coming from the side and showing you the bottle of wine he brings with him to show you that he comes in peace. He sees your smile when you notice him coming.
"Do you mind if I join you?" He politely asks.
"Only if you intend to share that bottle with me," you answer with a sweet smile. You make space on the hammock for him and keep your feet dangling on the edge.
Hyunjin opens the bottle with a loud popping sound and the wine fizzles as it gets exposed to the air. He immediately hands the bottle to you, "You can have the first sip."
You look at him then at the bottle before taking it from his hand.
"What do you think about all this?" He asks while watching you drinking wine straight from the bottle.
You let out a gasp after taking a sip and hand the bottle to him, "It's a bit overwhelming and intense but I like it, it's fun."
He allows himself to have his first sip as he thinks of another thing to ask you, "But you're ready, right?"
You let out a low chuckle and look him in the eyes, "Well, I am, I'm open for anything. I can be a bit emotional but I respect boundaries."
You take the bottle from his hand to take a swig and wipe your lips after, "I just don't want to force anything. Things should come naturally."
"You don't have to worry about that," he pauses midsentence to take his turn to drink wine, "We have that connection."
From the smile that grows bigger on your face, he can tell that Hyunjin is pulling all the right moves. He has that right balance between being a lover and a player, but more importantly, he keeps it real, there's nothing fake in everything he does or says.
"You're so beautiful," he compliments with an intense stare into your eyes to let you know he means it, it's not just a sweet nothing.
"Thanks," You wipe the drop of wine escaping the corner of your mouth and compliment him back, "So are you, you are absolutely gorgeous."
It's hard to concentrate when all he can think about is how badly he wants to kiss you and the wine that wet your lips is not helping him.
Hyunjin tilts his head slightly to the side and asks, "What do you like about me?"
You trail the mouth of the bottle with your index finger as you think of an answer.
"The whole thing, I guess,” you answer with a delighted laugh but fiercely stare back into his eyes, “But the eyes, especially."
It's cute that one second, you're shy and the next moment, you're this confident woman who stares right into his soul. He touches his lips to make you avert your attention from them and murmurs, "How about these lips? These lips do work, you know."
He teases you more by touching his lips with his fingers and doubles the intensity of his gaze into your eyes.
"Yeah?" You shyly smile again.
He props a hand against his head and drops his voice as it turns low and sultry, "Want to try them?"
You let out an amused laugh and hold down your hair on your shoulder from the wind, "Well, we drink from the same bottle, may as well..."
Once he notices that you're slowly leaning in, he hurriedly tilts his head upward to let you easily land your lips on his. He kisses you to show you how much he wants it, gently yet passionately. He places his hand on the nape of your neck to deepen the kiss and puts a little more tongue to taste you more.
You taste of wine and sunshine, of sweet, heavenly things. Your kiss is intoxicating yet he can't get enough of it.
"Not bad," you coyly comment once you pull away from the kiss.
Hyunjin thinks he likes you the best when you're both shy and confident at the same time.
-
HYUNJIN: I was really attracted to her immediately. She's hot, she's wonderful, I just couldn't help it [smiles]
-
God! Hyunjin is truly something.
You've been taking gulps of wine to help you calm down, but instead, you get a little tipsy from the accumulated amount of alcohol you've consumed so far. Or it could be from Hyunjin and his dizzying kisses. Oh, the kiss!
Hyunjin is devastatingly beautiful, you feel uglier the longer you see him but at the same time, you can't stop looking at his face. He has those crinkles in his eyes, long dark hair and he has that lean body, but underneath that dreamy look, there's a guy who knows how to get you all hot and bothered.
You hand the bottle of wine to him and then rest your hand on his chest, how his shirt is flapping open from the wind.
"I remember the girls were talking about you guys, we were joking around and then Edie said she wants to hook up with you," you randomly share with him.
He smiles with his mouth full of wine, he swallows it down before talking, "And you're jealous?"
You lightly chuckle and start playing with the button on his shirt, "I mean, we're all free to do whatever we want and if it doesn't happen for us… It's fine with me."
There's a crease formed between his eyebrows, he seems to disagree with your latter remark, "It's happening, no way it won't," he confidently says.
You kind of expected he would say that because that's just a typical answer that you probably heard so many times only that they were in different forms.
"That's sweet," you tell him, "but that's something a player would say."
Hyunjin lets out a low laugh, feeling caught by what you said. He then grips the neck of the bottle and the rings he's wearing clinking against it as he hands it back to you. You feel a little nervous as he intently watches you take a long sip of wine.
"Stop staring at me," you say with a gentle push on his chest, feeling flustered from how he stares at you non-stop.
Yet it only makes him keep doing it, he stares deeper into your eyes and coyly says, "How could I not?"
You slump down in the hammock and use his arm as a pillow, "I'm not used to this. Sending signals is my thing."
Teasing, flirting, seducing... these are your areas of expertise and now, you're the one on the opposite end of these things which makes it feel a little strange. Or it could be Hyunjin being too good at it.
Curious if Hyunjin is still staring at you, you turn your head to the side to only get greeted by his yet another intense stare. You crack a smile because it's the only way you know how to react to it.
"I can't take that smile," he says with adoration fills his eyes.
Without having to touch your cheeks, you know that they're heating from his sweet compliments.
"I like your smile," he compliments again.
"Thank you," you simply respond to him.
He leans in close enough that you can smell his alcohol-tinted breath as he says, "And I really like your kiss."
Hyunjin is truly something. There's nothing more sexier than a guy who knows what he wants and goes for it. The sexiest part of it is he makes you feel wanted.
"What about—"
Without letting you finish your sentence, he crashes his lips against yours. This time, his kiss is more intense than the previous one, it's deeper and hungrier, he doesn't stop his hands from wandering around your body and leaves searing touches on your skin like he's trying to light your body on fire.
Good thing that you don't mind getting burned alive by his desire.
-
YOU: The kiss was kind of romantic but at the same time, I was on fire [chuckles]
-
How this show works is still unclear.
However, the staff have been letting everyone have fun as much as we want and tonight, they're throwing a party in the villa. Even with the lack of context on the show, this is indeed a paradise.
The theme for the party is nautical and you pick a costume out of the selections provided by the staff. You settle on a blue and white striped cropped top and a white mini skirt, and you add a small sailor hat on the top of your head for the accessory.
The beach has been decorated according to the nautical theme but what gets everyone hyped is the round of shots served on the table. Everyone gets their hands on it and Edouard leads the toast to finally allow everyone to take it in one go. You quickly chase it down with a glass of juice to eliminate the bitter aftertaste, trying to stay sober for the rest of the night.
One round of shots is enough to make everyone loosen up and dance to the fast-paced music playing in the villa, Vic makes you dance with her and you're struggling to keep up with her energetic moves.
"Guys, guys, there's a party going on here!" Edie says, pointing at Diego who's having a body shot on Frida's chest.
Everyone is howling at them and not long after, following suit by doing the same thing to each other, you find yourself just standing there witnessing them having a wild time.
Hyunjin eventually comes up to you with glasses of shots in his hands, "Love shot?"
The plan is to stay sober but one more tequila shot shouldn't be a problem, right?
"Sure," you take one from his hand before linking your arms together for a love shot.
In this proximity, you can see the faint mole under Hyunjin's left eye and it's such an endearing thing to know. When you feel his eyes on you though, you get that flutter in your stomach.
"Together in three, two, one..."
You tilt your head as you drain the alcohol in one gulp and you feel it burns down your throat as you swallow it, you can't help but wince again at the bitter aftertaste.
Hyunjin lowly laughs seeing you with your nose scrunched up, he takes the empty shot glass from you and puts them away.
"I know how to make it sweet," he says, cupping your face in his hands before leaning in to kiss you.
His kiss is more intoxicating than the alcohol you consumed and screws the plan! You want to get drunk on his kisses even though you have to be on your tiptoe and cling to his shoulders for support. He keeps you steady by holding you close, wrapping his arms around your waist, and at times, hoisting you against him to deepen the kiss.
For a second, you forget that anyone can see this and only notice it when you pull away from the kisses to find everyone hooting at you.
The party comes to a halt when the music stops playing and the voice returns.
"Hello, Conquerors. I hope you're enjoying the party."
Andy with his cheeks blushed and bleary eyes, loudly whistling to show how much he enjoyed the party.
"In a few minutes, you'll have a special guest, a special international star," the voice announces.
That gets everyone intrigued and they start throwing random famous names around, hoping that one of their guesses is true.
"Enjoy the party!" The voice finishes.
The lights dim and the spotlight appears, beaming on the gate, raising everyone's anticipation about who the special guest is. You don't have any expectations but with everything you experienced so far in this villa, you reckon it's something special indeed.
The gate slowly opens only to reveal a cone sitting atop a barrel which you instantly recognize who she is and the actual show you're in.
"Oh, God, no," you mutter to yourself in denial.
"Look at— It's Lana!" Edie hysterically says, making it obvious to everyone.
"Yeah. It's her. It's Lana for real," Vic confirms.
As if that wasn't enough to make it real, the cone chimes and lights up, making her presence known to everyone.
"Fuck it. Let's kiss one last time," Edie says
She impulsively goes around kissing everyone, including you and everyone else doesn't want to miss the last chance at it and do the same. You must admire her boldness for that but you get a little jealous when she kisses Hyunjin, especially after knowing you can't kiss him whenever you want.
-
YOU: I know it's all too good to be true [sighs] This paradise has turned into hell.
-
When Hyunjin sees Lana, his mind goes blank.
First, it's a cone. Secondly, he doesn't know it has a name and it's Lana. And thirdly, Lana is going to ban everyone from doing sexual stuff which goes against his plan.
How did he end up here? Wait, no, he doesn't regret being here but he regrets not knowing what he put himself in which is a sexless retreat. Imagine being an alcoholic and you came looking like a bottle of fine wine, then he got told that he's not allowed to drink it. He can't be the only one seeing how messed up this is.
"As you know, I'm Lana, the hostess of this retreat. I'm back and fully updated for this season," the cone introduces herself with a different robot voice.
A few are clapping in response but the rest are still in shock at the turn of events, except Andy, who is too drunk to even process this much information.
"According to my data, all of you are real players who wouldn't be allowed in any paradise."
"Wow, she's sassy!" Vic comments.
"She's Lana, she can be sassy as much as she wants," Frida says, crossing her arms in front of her in defeat.
"Therefore, my goal is to offer a good environment for your personal development."
Hyunjin looks around to see not even a single face is looking happy about this, especially Edouard, he's been quiet and Hyunjin believes he is in a state of shock right now.
"As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000."
"Okay, now we're talking," Pablo says.
That gets everyone cheering up a little but that doesn't mean they're not dreading the terms and conditions that come with it.
"And the prize will be decreased every time one of my rules is broken."
There goes the catch. Nothing ever comes off easy, especially with that much money. Maybe it's easy for some people to choose money over sex but for a bunch of horny people like them, it's doubtful.
"Tell us the rules then," Pablo says, being the only one enthusiastic about all this.
"No physical interaction aiming at sexual pleasure is allowed," Lana informs.
"Well, shit!" You and Vic mutter at the same time, then burst into laughter together.
"Does cuddling count?" Diego asks but his question remains unanswered as Lana continues with the list of rules everyone needs to adhere to.
"The following are forbidden: kissing, heavy petting, and any kind of sex."
Edouard recovers from shock only to descend into another state of shock after hearing the rules. He holds his head with both arms, completely devastated by it.
"This also applies to any form of sexual gratification, by yourself or together."
"Fuck, no!" Hyunjin reflexively reacts.
He thinks this one rule goes against his rights, his body belongs to him therefore he should be free to do whatever he wants with it.
"And since you didn't respect my arrival, $20,000 has been deducted from the prize fund," Lana comes with the most shocking announcement of all.
"Oh, fuck!" Pablo curses out loud.
"No, come on!" Vic complains.
Everyone suddenly regrets having that one last kiss and losing that much money when the retreat has barely begun yet.
'The prize fund now stands at $180,000."
"Oh, no man," Diego sighs.
Edie, the one who initiated that open bar of kisses innocently says, "Just let it go, guys."
"Welcome to Too Hot To Handle," Lana concludes, marking the party is over for everyone.
-
HYUNJIN: [Laughs] I have to laugh so I don't cry [sadly chuckles]
-
Once Lana has shown herself and revealed what the show actually is, the parts of the villa that were off-limits are now accessible. You get to see the dressing room and the girls are taking their time in here, wiping their make-up clean while enjoying what is possibly the coziest part of the villa.
"I think we all should chill tonight," Frida suddenly says as she ties a scarf around her curly hair.
The girls are giving her the side eyes, questioning the meaning behind her words.
"We already spent twenty grand so..." Frida reminds everyone.
"Yeah..." Vic half-heartedly responds.
Frida has a good intention but you're not sure if everyone is going to obey her words just because it's the right thing to do.
You're not going to deny the fact that you had those kinds of impulses and most of the time, you went with them without thinking so trying to not do that habit will be a struggle for you.
Thankfully, you're sharing the bed with Vic tonight and you think that's a safe option for now, you don't want to jump on the bed with any of the boys yet.
As you make your way to the bed at the end of the room, Pablo stretches his hand out at you, gesturing you to come to his bed. You thought he wanted to chat but he makes space on the bed for you, asking you to climb into the bed.
Noticing the puzzled look on your face, he asks, "Aren't you sleeping with me?"
As far as you remember, Vic is the only one who asked you to be her bed partner and you didn't mention anything about it to anyone else, especially Pablo.
"I'm sleeping with Vic," you answer him.
The warm expression on his face turns icy in a second, he pulls the duvet to his chest and clutches at it, "So this is how it's going to be," he says like a fussy child.
"It's only the first day," you simply explain which should be enough to let him know that the bed arrangement is not permanent.
But Pablo's mood is way too off for you to salvage, "Are you staying away from me?" He wildly accuses you.
You immediately shake your head, "No."
"I want to sleep with you but you're making me sleep alone," he grumbles.
"There will be other days," you tell him.
"Are you sure about that?" He says with an unkind stare.
You don't see why he has to be this upset about the bed situation while everyone else can sort it out without having to throw a tantrum like this.
Still, you choose to keep your calm and respond with a light chuckle.
Pablo shifts on the bed and clutches his duvet up to his neck, "Goodnight," he says with an angry tone.
"Are you mad?" You meekly ask.
"No," he replies then ends the conversation with yet another angry goodnight.
You didn't notice that Frida is witnessing all of this on the next bed and you feel embarrassed even though you're not the one acting childish.
Not wanting to make him more angry, you get to your bed and Vic is already there, sitting cross-legged and wearing a cropped top and boy shorts as her sleeping attire.
You sit on the end of the bed facing away from Pablo's bed, "I think we found the worst one," you tell her with a repulsed expression.
Vic laughs and is open to listening to your rant about what just happened between you and Pablo, and how childish the whole situation is.
Then she uses her eyes to gesture at Pablo's bed, "Diego and Frida have to deal with his bad mood now," she lowly mutters.
You take a few seconds before glancing over your shoulder to see Pablo talking about it to Diego and Frida on the bed next to him.
When you look back at Vic, you both let out a laugh at the same time.
-
YOU: Here I thought I was intense but jeez... [chuckles] Pablo is too intense.
-
The cone chimes and startles everyone in the room who's barely awake from their sleep yet.
"Good morning, everyone," Lana greets.
"Morning, Lana girl," Edie replies with a hoarse voice.
"How was your night?" Lana asks.
Everyone is answering with groans and grumbles, there are just too many complaints coming all at once.
"This is a reminder that this show is no longer Conquerors of Paradise and the only thing left for you to conquer is your sexual urges."
Another series of groans is coming from everyone and echoing in the room in response to Lana's announcement. It's obviously not the kind of thing everyone wants to get in the morning: a reality check.
"We lost 20k you guys," Pablo says, squeezing the cushion on his lap.
"He keeps reminding us," Edouard says with a light chuckle.
"It was epic. Everyone enjoyed it," Andy comes in defense even though he looks groggy with his bleary eyes and his blond hair stuck to his face.
"Yes, but we lost 20k for doing that," Pablo says again.
Hyunjin lets out a chuckle at how Pablo doing exactly what Edouard said, reminding everyone about the money, and after a while, he's aware of what he just did.
"We started on the worst possible way," he makes an argument.
"No, dude. It's the best!" Diego disagrees with him.
Pablo shrugs and brushes his wavy hair to the back, "I mean, financially."
Edie points at Pablo and says, "Look everyone, we got ourselves a bookkeeper."
That amuses everyone, well, except Pablo who strongly shakes his head in disagreement.
"I won't be that person," he remarks.
Edie lets out a sarcastic laugh and says, "Yeah but there's always a bookkeeper."
Whether there'll be a bookkeeper or not, it seems like it won't stop anyone from breaking the rules, including him. But Hyunjin only has one person in mind to do that with and sadly, he's not sharing the bed with you yet. He gets it that maybe you want to keep your options open for now and you don't want to be haste on a decision.
He feels relieved though that you're not sleeping with another guy which means that he still has a chance to have you as a bed partner and he's ready to make that happen.
-
HYUNJIN: When I feel like it's something I really want, I'm going to go for it [smirks]
-
A session of yoga with Frida and two glasses of juice helped you to sober up completely, you feel less like shit after a shower and even better once you dressed up for the day.
You decide to spend the afternoon sunbathing by the pool and on the way there, you spot Pablo already occupying one of the loungers.
It reminds you of what happened last night and how it feels unpleasant whenever you recall it, you hate that things went awry between you and him so you decide to try to talk about it with him.
"Hey, mind if I sit here?" You ask, taking a seat on the next lounger.
Pablo squints his eyes to look at you and stays reclining on the lounger, "Nah."
You want to approach things kindly to not get misunderstood again so you carefully pick your words before letting them out.
"Okay, so... I think last night we had a miscommunication and after that talk, I don't like how it created tension between us," you begin by assessing the issue head-on.
He wipes the sheen of sweat on his forehead and turns his head at you, "Yeah."
"I want you to know that I didn't get on the bed with you not because I didn't want to," you calmly explain to get your message across, "I just don't remember having that conversation about the—"
"I wanted to talk to you about it but I don't like pulling you away from the others, it's annoying," he cuts you off and gets defensive.
This is what you don't like about him, he's not even letting you finish your explanation first and you doubt he even listened to you at all.
"You know what, you're free to do whatever you want, we can finish talking—"
It's your turn to cut him off and get defensive, "That's not it. You don't listen. You don't let me speak."
"Everyone gets to know me a little but you, you're always distant," he starts an argument yet again.
"We both know that everyone has their own way of getting to know someone," You're losing a bit of your cool as you said it.
"I can talk to everyone but I can't talk to you," he remarks.
That sounds like Pablo has made up his mind, he doesn't want to either listen or talk, he wants to stop interacting with you altogether and it sounds final.
"For me, I think we just have to stop talking about it," you try to salvage what can be saved from it even though you're not really that confident about it.
"It's over," he finalized it on his own.
It's such a shame that he closes himself immediately without giving himself a chance to be open, even to keep things on good terms between you and him.
"Okay, then," you say in defeat, choosing to leave because your presence seems to bother him.
-
YOU: Despite everything, I wished to remain friends with him but it seems like that won't work either.
-
With Pablo constantly avoiding you, you don't have to worry about bumping into him or starting a conversation with him and the fact that he's the one who broke it off only makes you feel less guilty about it and somehow liberated. You're hanging out in the firepit with Vic and Edie, just chatting and drinking wine in between, enjoying the warm night.
In the middle of Edie delivering a funny anecdote, Hyunjin comes into view and she abruptly stops talking. There's something about him that makes people couldn't help but look at him and he's taking everyone's attention with how impeccable he looks tonight.
Hyunjin is wearing this printed shirt that would look tacky on some people but he pulls it off just fine, more than fine to be exact. He looks dashing, overflowing with charisma.
"Hey," he says to everyone but his eyes landed on you in the end.
You would have mistaken him for a statue if he weren't talking, you hurriedly get ahold of yourself and say hi back to him.
"Can I borrow her for a minute?" He asks either Vic or Edie.
Vic puts her arm around you and pulls you closer, "No, you can't," she jokingly says to him.
Hyunjin sheepishly smiles and offers his hand at you once you break free from Vic's hold, taking his hand to help you get up from the sofa.
"See you guys later," you say to Vic and Edie as he leads you in the direction of the beach.
The beach offers a different view with the pale moonlight that shines down on the sea and the surface of the water reflecting the starry night sky at you. He takes you to sit on the bench next to him and you take a moment to get rid of the sand caught in your shoes, doing it quietly to not ruin the moment.
"You look amazing," Hyunjin compliments with a sheepish smile.
"You too. I like the shirt," you compliment back and it's not a hard thing to do when he looks that good.
A gust of wind blows your way and it makes your hair fly around so does Hyunjin's, he can easily brush it to the back and it won't make a big difference while you can only hope that you don't look like you just rolled out of the bed.
He catches the stray hair floating around your face and safely tucks it behind your ear, his hand lingers there for a moment before he lightly touches your necklace.
"I like this," he murmurs.
You hold your breath even though his finger touches the pendant on your necklace and makes no contact with your skin whatsoever.
"Thank you," you mutter.
It's so quiet except for the constant sounds of the waves lapping the seashore and it seems like Hyunjin takes his time to talk and just be alone with you. After a moment passes you and him exchanging cryptic gazes at each other, and he finally begins talking.
"Can I be honest with you?"
"Yes," you reply, curious about what he wants to share with you.
"I don't know how to say this but you're just my type," he pauses to lick his lips, making them wetter and tempting you to do something about it.
"You have everything that I like about a girl. You're super attractive, and you're a bit shy but at the same time, you exude confidence which I eat that up."
Like it isn't obvious enough, Hyunjin boldly remarks, "Dare I say that you're my dream girl."
You remind yourself to keep your cool even though this beautiful man just told you that you're his ideal type of girl and it takes everything in you not to let out a hysterical scream.
"Do you have anyone you fancy here?"
You thought it was obvious to him but of course, he needs to hear it from you directly, "Well, I want to get to know you."
"But do you fancy anyone else?" He asks again.
You see that Hyunjin is here to make sure your head is not turning anywhere else, you want to keep your options open but for now, he's number one on your list. Still, you don't know what he's playing at so you stay cautious about it.
"You're my number one right now," you openly share with him.
A smile blooms on his face and Hyunjin nods in approval, his hand secretly inching closer to yours.
"What do you think about sharing a bed with me?" He asks with eyes that are filled with such intensity.
"Sharing a bed? With you?" You ask him back instead of answering, just so there's nothing lost in translation.
"Yes," he hastily answers.
You pretend to consider it for a while before nodding and coyly saying, "Okay."
He looks at you and the moment your eyes meet, you both crack a laugh at the same time like two teenagers in love.
"That leads me to another question," he continues.
You tilt your head to the side and hold all of your hair on one shoulder, "Yes?"
 "The rules are set, but that doesn't mean we have to follow them," he says to you
You always know that he's not giving a single fuck about the rules or having any intentions to follow them, and that scares you but in an exhilarating way.
"What would it take to get you to break the rules?" He asks with devilish glints filling his eyes.
That sounds more like a threat rather than a question but you don't feel threatened at all, you feel thrilled instead.
"Let's make it happen," he seductively says with inviting eyes and his teeth faintly biting his lower lip.
His words really are enchantments and you feel like submitting to his wishes without thinking, however, your conscience leads you the other way.
"I want to make it happen," you honestly tell him and because it's true, there's nothing you want more than kiss those luscious lips he occasionally lick and bite, and quench the thirst you have for this man.
"But we can't be the first," you continue.
There's no denying that at one point, you and Hyunjin will break the rules but you refuse to be the first to do that. The amount of shit anyone will get for being the first to rule break makes you shudder.
"We'll see," Hyunjin says with a nod.
He suddenly backs away and his hand flies to his lips, index, and middle fingers rubbing them as he's looking at you with observing eyes.
A thought crosses your head and it makes you think if Hyunjin suddenly loses interest after you indirectly rejected him and you start to overthink it until he leans in closer than before.
He tilts his head downward and looks at you through his lashes, then softly he says, "You're going to rule break with me."
-
YOU: This just feels like "Ooh..." I get a little chill from it. I need more.
-
This is the time to be afraid.
You're sharing the bed with Hyunjin tonight and those impulses will likely appear, and you're a hundred percent sure going to struggle to not go with it.
A smile rises on Hyunjin's face when you come and climb onto the bed. He throws the extra cushions onto the floor and pats your pillow before letting you rest on it.
"Thank you," you mutter, lying on the bed next to him.
Initially, you planned not to jump on the bed with a guy yet but something tells you that you may have something more with Hyunjin and you want to cultivate that further. He endearingly puts away the hair covering the side of your face so he can nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck.
"Mmh... you smell really nice," he sighs with eyes closed.
It's not much about the praise but the way he said it, softly yet seductively. And the warm breath that fans your neck isn't helping you to think of something to say back to him.
Somehow, you end up lying facing him on the bed and his face is merely inches away from yours. While the others are having a chat in the room, you both just look at each other and hold hands under the cover.
"I'm already dying to kiss you," he lowly mutters, not letting anyone else hear it.
You smile at that and are still unable to think of something to say when he's constantly having your eyes locked in a gaze with him.
"How am I going to kiss you?" He asks in a whispery voice.
He brings his head closer to you until his forehead meets yours, "I can't do it. I'm fucked," he whispers.
It seems like what he said to you triggered an impulse out of you and he best believes that you want to kiss him so badly too. However, you decide to have a little control over your impulses.
"We can do it like this," you suggest an idea by kissing two of your fingers then transfer the kiss by placing them on his plush lips.
Hyunjin chuckles and grabs your hand, he laces his fingers with yours before pushing it close to his chest.
"That's not enough," he says with an adorable pout.
You slowly lean in and place a sweet kiss on his cheek, letting go with a smile on your face.
"If you can go a little to the left and a bit further down, I'd really appreciate it," he playfully says.
You giggle at his creative effort to make you kiss him and as the lights switch off, Hyunjin overlaps your body with yours, then carefully, rests his head on your chest.
You put your hand in his dark locks and feel them slipping between your fingers as you brush them with your fingers.
"Your hair is so soft," you murmur.
"My lips are soft too," he murmurs back to you.
You lowly chuckle at his another effort to make you kiss him and instead of giving him that, you give him a gentle pat on the head.
"Goodnight," you murmur.
Hyunjin places a kiss on your neck and murmurs back, "Goodnight."
Even with your eyes closed, you're constantly battling your impulses not to kiss him or think of his body being on top of you.
-
YOU: I’m used to be the one getting the attention but all the girls here are stunning and finally, someone interested in me and it’s Hyunjin. [smiles]
-
Hyunjin feels the need to pinch himself on the cheek to know that it's not a dream.
He wakes up next to you and seeing your face the moment he opens his eyes this morning, you look so peaceful as you soundly sleep next to him that he doesn't dare to wake you up.
It's when the lights are on, that he sees your eyes fluttering open like a pair of butterfly wings, a mesmerizing thing to see in the morning.
"Morning," he softly says to you.
You sleepily smile as you rub the sleep of your eyes and slowly hoist yourself up to have a sip of water from your tumbler.
Everyone else is also waking up from their slumber, looking disoriented and sleepy, but not you, you look so angelic with a bare face and tousled hair.
"You look really good in the morning," he compliments you.
You grin with your mouth full of water, then mutter your gratitude once you swallow it. You probably think that the compliments he's giving you are just sweet nothings and that's okay, he understands if you think that way but that won't stop him from doing it.
"Morning, my man!" Hyunjin says as he makes eye contact with Andy who sleeps on the next bed.
He foolishly grins at him with his messy blond hair, "How was your sleep?"
Hyunjin uncaps his water tumbler while looking at him, "I had a boner all fucking night last night."
He wishes he was joking but it's true, he didn't have any problems when he shared the bed with Marie on the previous night and he thinks it happens because he's physically attracted to you. If only you knew how much he refrained from not kissing your lips or touching you all over when your body lying so close to him and molding against his body.
"What do you usually do in the morning?" You curiously ask while tying your hair into a messy bun.
How can he concentrate on answering your question when it's mesmerizing to see how you gather all of your hair at the top of your head, exposing your beautiful neck to him?
"Swimming," he finally replies.
Spotting a strand of hair escaping your bun, he tucks it for you behind your ear.
"What about you?" He asks back.
"Uhm... watching you swim," You answer with a cheeky laugh.
"I'd go skinny dipping then," he jokingly says.
"I'd love that even more," you joke back.
You're just too cute, he feels like squeezing you like you were a plush toy but instead of that, he nuzzles his head into your neck trying to tickle you.
Hyunjin does what he planned, he goes swimming on the beach instead of working out with the other guys and has breakfast after. He changes into a sleeveless top and swimming trunks, he is about to find you when he gets the notice that everyone gets called to the cabana.
Seeing that you're already wedged between Vic and Frida, Hyunjin has no other choice but to share the small sofa with Edouard on the side of the room.
Lana chimes shortly after everyone settled on their seats, "Hello, everyone."
"Hi, Lana," everyone replies at the same time in various tones.
"I regret to inform you that the rules of my retreat have already been broken," Lana announces.
Hyunjin doesn't know why everyone acts surprised when every single person in there has contributed to the first rule break that costs $20,000 at the beginning of the retreat.
A minute passes in silence as everyone tries to guess who has done these rule breaks.
"Okay? Who is it?" Marie asks around with her eyes scanning for any guilty faces.
Unbeknownst to him, the guy sitting next to him raises his hand. His first thought is who Edouard got it with? He can't know for sure with these people but he hopes it's not with you.
"We had a moment and we took it," Edouard says.
"Who's we?" You ask him with a knowing glance shot at Vic.
Okay, now he knows who Edouard got it with and playfully elbows his side to tease him.
"Vic and I," Edouard calmly answers, "It was nice, it's exactly what I wanted it to be and I'm open to seeing where things go with her."
Instead of complaining, everyone is cooing at him and admiring how earnestly he handles it. Hyunjin must admit that he's being a true gentleman for coming clean immediately.
"The kiss has cost the group $3,000," Lana informs.
And that isn't the worst one yet as Lana continues to reveal more rule breakers, "They were not the only ones to break the rule."
"Oh, stop it!" Marie says with the thickest British accent he ever heard coming out of her mouth.
For pure entertainment, Hyunjin tries to guess who else has broken the rules and he notices that Andy is exceptionally quiet right now when everyone knows he's the most talkative one.
"You've been hella quiet, Andy," he teases him.
In a second, the calm on Andy's face shatters, and he starts grinning out of panic for being caught hiding something.
"With Edie, yeah," he finally admits.
"There we go," Pablo mutters then lets out a heavy sigh.
It seems like Edie has been holding her breath the whole time when the truth finally out, her shoulders slumped as anxiety exits her body.
"I'm sorry, I did want to tell you guys, sorry," She says to everyone.
"The kiss has cost the group $3,000," Lana further informs.
Hyunjin thought he was the only one struggling to resist temptations but these rule-breakers have proven that he's not that bad after all.
-
HYUNJIN: Damn! I'm missing all the fun here [chuckles]
-
You keep teasing Vic for secretly having a kiss with Edouard and not telling you about it, she keeps giggling as you ask for details from her in whispers.
You can tolerate Vic and Edouard's rulebreak because you know how much Vic fancies him and it's great that Edouard fancies her back. Meanwhile, Andy and Edie's rule break, there's Edie in the equation so it's bound to happen but that'll be it, right? Because people would have said something by now if they did something.
Right?
"That is not all," Lana shockingly reveals.
Oh, you and your mouth. Honestly, though, what can you expect from these people who spent 20k when the retreat had hardly begun?
"There was one more breach of the rules," Lana informs.
You look from side to side, observing the people you're sharing the sofa with and then you see Frida fidgeting next to you.
"Shit," she lowly mutters to herself.
Diego and Frida are just too horny for each other so that's a given, but you're going to give them the chance to own up to their mistake.
"Just come clean and we'll keep our trust in you," Marie says to make anyone confess to their rulebreak.
Frida lets out an annoyed sigh then turns at Diego, "We should tell them!"
It annoys you too that Diego chooses to stay silent the whole time only to prolong the process not only for himself but also for everyone here.
Vic gently taps Frida's knee and asks, "Just a kiss?"
Frida sighs again and then meekly answers, "Two kisses."
But it annoys you still that Diego hasn't said anything but keeps his mouth shut while Frida is taking all the blame herself.
"Diego, say something!" You urge him.
Diego puts on a stupid grin and innocently says, "Surprise!"
Now, you wish he would keep his mouth shut, you roll your eyes at him and get more upset than before.
"These multiple kisses have cost the group $6,000."
One, or two kisses are acceptable but once everyone finds out how much a kiss costs, they're not sure if those kisses were worth it.
"That was expensive," you grumble out of reflex.
"What's done is done, guys," Diego coyly says, taking these rule breaks lightly like it didn't get everyone penalized for it.
"The prize fund now stands at $168,000," Lana comes up with the final bill at the end.
At this rate, you're not optimistic about having any money left at the end of the retreat.
"With 50% of you having already broken the rules, you have left me with no choice. From this point forward, all fines will be doubled," Lana comes with another shocking announcement like it isn't hard enough to accept today's financial loss.
"That's just great," Pablo sarcastically comments.
"Goodbye," Lana concludes with a grim goodbye.
-
YOU: It was hard to resist temptations, as I did with Hyunjin but what's the point if people are going to act like this?
-
Is it possible to get a boner from holding hands? Hyunjin thinks it's possible because he's close to having one as the two of you walk to the beach hand-in-hand, and you're swinging it back and forth as you go.
"I'm a bit nervous," you mutter to him.
"Why?"
"I don't know," you innocently reply with a giggle.
It's just a workshop and you shouldn't be nervous but he doesn't mind seeing you being this cute when you're nervous. Arrived at the beach, everyone gets greeted by a lady who he assumes is going to be one leading the workshop.
"Welcome to your first workshop in the retreat," she says to everyone.
The staff tells everyone to pair up and take places on the platforms provided for everyone. Obviously, Hyunjin is paired up with you because he wouldn't have it any other way.
"Hello, I'm Jax and I'm a relationship expert," she introduces herself with a courteous smile.
Everyone gives her a round of applause to warmly welcome her.
"It is obvious that everybody here has a lot of sexual energy and that is preventing you from achieving meaningful connections so what I'm going to teach in this workshop is new ways to channel that energy," she explains what's the aim of today's workshop.
Hyunjin notices the bowls of paint on the side of the platform and guesses that the workshop has something to do with them.
"So the goal right now, instead of doing what you might usually do and look for that physical release, you are going to grab the paint and transfer all of that sexual power and make a piece of art like you've never made before," Jax further explains.
"You'll notice that you're standing on blank canvases and your bodies are the brushes. Are you ready?"
"Yes!" Everyone replies in unison.
Jax senses everyone's excitement and smiles, "Alright. Let's do it!"
Hyunjin brings the bowls of paint over to the middle of the big canvas you both standing on and sitting there, can't decide what to do first.
"What color do you want?" He asks you.
"Uhm... pink?" You randomly choose out of the three different colors.
He picks it up and before he dips his fingers in them, an idea crosses his mind, "Lay down for me," he tells you.
You obey him without complaint but first, you have your hair tied into a high bun to not letting the paint all over it. You carefully lay yourself down and immediately shield your eyes from the bright sun with your hand, "What are you going to do?"
Before answering, Hyunjin sits next to you with a bowl of paint in one hand, "I'm going to do this," he says, rubbing the paint on the tip of your nose.
You scrunch your nose in reaction and playfully laugh, it seems that it works to help you loosen up.
"I'm going to draw the outline of your body," he finally tells you his plan.
"Okay," you say in approval.
Using his big hands, Hyunjin diligently works his drawing of the outline of your body on the canvas, intentionally nudging some parts of your body while doing it but what he anticipates the most is drawing the space between your legs.
"Can you pass me the blue, beautiful?" He sweetly asks since the paint is only an arm's length away from you.
You glance to the side and drag the bowl with your fingers until it's close enough for him to reach.
He scoops the blue paint with his hand and slowly draws the outline of your legs, he maintains eye contact with you as his hand climbs up the side of your legs. He can see that you're slightly arching your back as the back of his hand brushes the skin of your inner thigh and you raise your knee as his hand is inches away from that thing between your legs.
Then he abruptly stops and quickly retracts his hand from you, instantly depriving you of his touch. He hears your low, disappointed sigh and smiles in satisfaction at that, he decides to hover above you, shielding you from the sun with his body.
"Let's spice things up a little, yeah?" He murmurs with his face only inches away from yours and you're looking at him with wide, open eyes.
Before you can think of a response, Hyunjin lathers the remaining paint on his hand onto your chest. You gasp as the sticky texture of the paint makes contact with your skin then he drags it down to your abdomen.
He has to hold the urge to drag his hand further down and stop as his hand meets the straps of your bikini bottom, tugging at it before dragging his hand up your side.
"I'm not the canvas here," you remind him.
Oh, but your body is a canvas to him and he wants to paint you with his kisses, his touches, his bites, his marks, and his—
Splat! You unknowingly splash yellow paint onto his abs and laugh from successfully catching him off guard. He immediately catches your hand and puts it on his stomach, making you smear the paint with your hand around his toned abs.
"Guys, less on the body, more on the canvas!" Jax shouts, getting everyone back on track with the true purpose of the workshop.
"It's my turn on the top," you say to him with a sly smile on your face.
-
HYUNJIN: This is my chance to keep her focus on me. Also, this is a great excuse to get physical [smirks]
-
"Your partner is here to get your sexual energy up as high as possible before you can apply that energy to the canvas," Jax informs while she walks around to check on everyone's work.
But does everyone need the encouragement though? Because it seems like they know what they're doing, using this workshop as an excuse to get physical with their partners. You start to doubt if this is what Jax wants to see, the painting is nowhere close to being called an artwork but the tension keeps building and everyone is only getting hornier and hornier by the second.
And you're about to have your part of the fun as it's Hyunjin's turn to lie down on the canvas.
"Do we have more paints?" You ask while crawling around to find them.
Hyunjin props his elbows against the canvas, helping you to look for them, "I think it's on..."
As he turns to the side to check if you have found them, your crawl back and your asscheek bumps into his head, sending him collapsing onto the canvas.
You immediately turn around and reflexively apologize, "Oh, I'm sorry."
But Hyunjin looks rather enjoying the little incident as he's laughing with his hand on his chest, "No problem at all."
You gather all the bowls of paint close to you and begin to do the outline of Hyunjin's body with the red paint, you start from the bottom since it's going to take more effort to draw his long legs.
Once you're done with that, you decide to tease him by putting your whole weight to sit right on his crotch, making him groan in response.
"You did that on purpose," he says as he looks up at you.
You slyly smile and coyly respond, "You're pretending like that's a problem."
You continue by outlining his upper half body while straddling him while he gets to enjoy seeing you on top of him.
"What are you drawing now?" He curiously asks.
"I'm drawing a crown on top of your head," you answer while keeping your focus on the task at hand.
While you're busy drawing on the canvas, Hyunjin dips his fingers into a bowl of paint to draw on you. He goes for your neck, making small drawings on it with his index finger.
"Are you giving me a neck tattoo?" You ask as you pick different colors of paint for the drawing.
He then makes another small drawing on your chest and finally answers to your question, "Just marking places where I'm going to kiss you later."
That makes you stop for a second and glares at him as he makes another drawing, a little star on your inner thigh which makes you think of his lips getting on that very skin he draws on and it sends a tingle down your spine.
After spending too much time working on him, you get off him and let him inspect your work. He looks at you and places a hand on your back.
"You're quite the artist, babe," he praises with a smile on his face.
One praise is enough to make your cheeks heat and you tend to say stupid things in a situation like this so you only respond with a smile and immediately think of something to avert your attention to before it gets too hot in here, literally and figuratively.
"I think we should start filling the empty spaces," you suggest.
At first, you both go on your way to draw the empty corners of the canvas until he comes over to you, gets behind you, and puts his hands on yours. He puts all of your hands into two different bowls of paint at once and then draws on the canvas together with him.
It makes your brain short-circuit for a while as you can't decide which to put your focus on, on the drawing or how his body molds against yours.
"Let all your sexual energy out..." Jax continuously encourages everyone and notices she's coming over in your direction.
When you think she's going to call you out for not going through the proper way of the workshop, she likes what she's seeing instead.
"Yes, there we go, that's what I want to see!" Jax says.
With that being said, you feel more encouraged to do it and let Hyunjin draw while using your hands as the brushes. He puts your hands in the bowls of paint again and he lathers more paint up your wrists all the while his head is resting on your shoulder.
"Mmh..." you lowly whine as he slips his fingers into you inside the bowls of paint.
The half smirk appears on his face and he takes you to the other side of the canvas, working on it with the same position of him guiding you from the back.
You can hear his constant heavy breathing with the way his head lies so close to yours, but it's the whispers of the praises into your ear that get you flustered.
"Oh, I like that."
"You're doing a good job."
"Oh, that's nice."
"Keep going."
"You're so good with your hands."
The embarrassing part is how you are unable to properly respond to his sweet praises, all your brain can compute the whole time are these incoherent words and mumbles.
"Yeah."
"Mmh."
"Uh-huh."
And also, the occasional low moans that slipped out of your mouth which you believe he heard every single one of it.
By the time the workshop is finished, you can't decide whether you should feel relieved or disappointed that it's over. You doubt it at first but the whole process works on giving you the release you need that you and Hyunjin collapse onto the canvas, tired and out of breath.
"Give yourself a round of applause 'cause you guys did it!" Jax says, giving everyone a round of applause for the hard work.
At the end of the workshop, Jax makes everyone pick up their canvases to show their works for everyone else to admire. Hyunjin puts his hand on the small of your back as the two of you look at your painting while standing next to each other.
You can see yourself and him, the burst of colors, and it may be not a piece of artwork but it is beautiful to you, special even because you and Hyunjin made it.
"What do you think?" He asks.
You take the hand resting on your back, using it to pull him closer to you, "I think we did a good job!"
He smiles and pulls you into a hug, it feels nice and comfortable despite the paint that tainted both of your bodies. He pulls away just enough to look at you and softly says, "Thank you for making this masterpiece with me."
Physical things aside, he made you feel so involved and appreciated, and that shows a lot about his true personality. In other words, you like him a little bit more today.
-
YOU: I am quite convinced that Hyunjin only has eyes for me and that makes him way more attractive than the rest of the boys here.
-
If there's something Hyunjin can take from this workshop is that the sexual tension between you and him is out of this world. There's no other reason for it because all he can think about is how your body felt against him and how beautiful the noises you made when that happened.
Good thing he still has some self-control in him or else... he doesn't even want to think of the other possibilities. But tonight, he wants to try and explore the other possibilities and see if you're up for it.
He patiently waits for you, checking the dressing room once in a while to see if you're done getting ready. He sees an opportunity as you check yourself in the mirror and with a drink ready in his hand, he comes up to you.
"Get you a drink," he says.
You turn to the side and smile, taking the glass of wine from his hand, "Thank you."
You take a small sip while fixing your hair in front of the mirror and Hyunjin takes a stand next to you to get his reflection in the mirror.
"We're kind of matching," you point out.
He doesn't even notice the colors of your clothes because his eyes are busy lusting over your body, only noticing that the tight pants you're wearing match the colors of his shirts.
"Oh, yes, we are," he says, grinning as he likes what he's seeing in the mirror.
Then he remembers his plan for tonight, he places his hand on your back and asks, "Are you done?"
"Uh-huh," you say as your mouth is full of wine.
"Can you come with me?"
"Sure."
The bedroom is empty just like he checked a moment ago and he takes you there because getting you alone is the first thing to do to execute his plan.
He goes to your shared bed, getting on it while you sit on the end of the bed, quietly sipping your wine while he gets to look at you as much as he wants.
He likes your frilly white top as it exposes your beautiful shoulders but what he likes the most is how you don't wear a bra underneath, he can see your nipples subtly poking through the fabric.
"You look good in everything you wear," he sweetly compliments because it's the second thing to do on his plan.
You smile as you take another sip of your wine, half-heartedly taking his compliment and he gets it that you get used to guys complimenting you like this.
"You can pull anything off," he compliments again.
You lick your lower lips after taking a sip and ask, "How about nothing?"
His brain can easily picture you naked in a second and he gets so overwhelmed by it that he lets out an overwhelmed sigh, not hesitate to let you hear it.
"Oof..." he's shaking his head and props his hand against the mattress to lean close to you.
"You absolutely can pull that off too," he adds with a sly smile.
-
HYUNJIN: No one is going to stop me tonight [smirks]
-
How Hyunjin ends up lying between your legs is a mystery but it makes you a little nervous at how his head hanging low so close to where you want him.
He rests his cheek against your inner thigh and fiercely gazing into your eyes, "My god! You make me want to misbehave," he says with a sultry voice.
The glass of wine you have drained is not enough to calm you, it makes you feel a little lightheaded instead, especially seeing Hyunjin run his hand up and down your thigh.
He leans in and you can feel his breath on your exposed midriff, it feels hot on your skin. You feel the need to put on a space so you prop your elbow against the bed only to send his head close to your chest.
"Oh, my God," he mutters with a heavy sigh as his eyes shot at your breasts.
You only put yourself more in the situation but seeing Hyunjin up close like this, oh, he's just so beautiful that you hesitate to touch him. You put away the hair falling over his face and put it away, then gently cup his jaw in your hand.
He looks up at you with his eyes that shine for you, "You're fucking irresistible," he says with his voice dropping lower than before.
There's nothing arouses you more than a guy who openly shares how much he wants you and it stresses you so much that you can't do anything about it.
Without warning, he crawls over and forces you to lie back on the bed as he hovers above you, his hand lifting your leg and hooking it around his waist.
It's getting harder to breathe with how much you're holding yourself back, you suddenly get so hot all over and you look away like it would help you regain your senses.
"I'm so horny," you shamelessly admit.
You hear him lowly laughing then feel his hand grabbing your chin, turning your head at him again. He leans in for a kiss but you're quick to dodge away from it.
"Stop..." you mewl, covering his mouth with your hand.
Hyunjin knows you both want it and that doesn't stop him from going for another try. He keeps touching your exposed skin, lightly with just his fingertips and it's only about time until you fold again.
He places a soft peck on your cheek and mutters, "We can put Lana in the cupboard for a few minutes."
You take a long, deep breath but it's not helping you to calm down, if anything, it only heightens the tension in the room.
"We don't have to think about the rules now. We can think about it tomorrow," he persuades you.
His words are just so sweet and you can easily eat those up.
"We can think about it when it's time," he murmurs as he squeezes the flesh on your waist.
And he just keeps getting sexier and sexier by the second, you can't hold on for too long.
The next thing you know, you grab the nape of his neck and pull him for a kiss. You can tell how much he wants it from how hard and how deep he kisses you, apart from that, he knows how to use his tongue and to bite your lip in between the kiss to spice things up.
Your eyes stay closed even after a moment the kiss ends and find his eyes looking at you, but the first thing you notice is how your lipstick got all over his mouth.
"Oh, no..." you gasp, hurriedly wiping it off his lips.
It's best to wipe the evidence clean to keep this rule break under wraps and not risk becoming everyone's enemy.
"How about my face?" You ask him.
His eyes are looking nowhere but your lips, "You got a little something..." he says, swiping his thumb across your lips only to plant his lips on you again.
Hyunjin is good, he is so good that you don't have anything in you to resist him anymore.
"Oh..." A moan slips out of you as he parts your mouth open only to deepen the kiss.
Fuck it! You can worry about the money tomorrow but now, you're going to enjoy every bit of his kiss, letting yourself so immersed in it that you lost track of time and when he finally let go, you're gasping for air.
"That was really good," you breathlessly tell him.
"That's because you're a good kisser," he coyly says as he gently wipes your lips with his thumb.
"So are you," you whisper back.
The sound of footsteps in the hallway sent Hyunjin collapsing to the side of the bed and gasping in surprise.
"Fuck..." he sighs while running his hand through his hair.
You hurriedly get away from him and sit cross-legged on the bed, finding something to do to make it less suspicious. You end up holding your empty glass with both hands while looking in the direction of the door, anticipating whoever it is about to come into the room.
When the door opens, you put on a calm face and keep yourself busy by playing with your hair, brushing the end with your fingers.
It turns out to be Edie and Andy, they seem to be surprised to see you there too.
"Hey," Edie says, "What are you guys up to?"
Hyunjin is squeezing the cushion on his chest, "We're just chatting," he calmly answers.
It's impressive how Hyunjin can lie in such ease like that but at the same, you feel a bit alarmed by it.
Andy dives headfirst into the bed while Edie sits on the sofa bench in the middle of the room, crossing her legs by the ankle.
"Awesome," Edie responds.
"Pablo is going around telling everyone to not break the rules tonight," Andy says, his blonde hair is swept to the side and makes him look dapper.
"Yeah?" You ask while trying to sound casual.
You wish you still had some wine left in your glass to drink but it's empty and you slightly feel nervous, afraid that either Edie or Andy will get suspicious of you.
Hyunjin drops his hand on your knee, his thumb making lazy circles on it as a way to comfort you.
Edie smacks her lips together after taking a sip of her drink, "Yes and that's why we came here," she answers.
Andy rolls over and rests his back against the headboard of the bed, "How are you guys doing?" He suddenly asks.
Hyunjin lets out a low chuckle and turns his head at you, making you answer this one for both of you.
"So far so good," you manage to sound casual this time.
"Don't worry! We got this under control," Hyunjin adds with a convincing smile.
All of a sudden, Edie throws herself onto your bed and squeezes herself between you and Hyunjin. She glances at you and then at Hyunjin, your heart is beating so fast thinking that she caught on to your lies until she whispers.
"Guys, I have some gossip to tell you!"
You and Hyunjin exchange a quick look with each other knowing that none of them suspect anything and with that, you can let out a sigh of relief.
-
YOU: Well, [sighs] Hyunjin is just too irresistible, I— I just couldn't help it.
-
Hyunjin has broken the rules twice now and the fact that neither Edie nor Andy suspects anything only makes him think of how easy it is to break the rules.
Now he knows how sweet that forbidden fruit is, he feels like having another bite.
While everyone else is already tucked into the beds, Hyunjin goes to the dressing room knowing that you're there. He finds you standing by your closet and taking out your clothes. Even with your face already bare and your hair tied into a messy bun, you look just as attractive.
Planning to surprise you, Hyunjin quietly gets behind you and hoists you against his body, taking you with him to the small space wedged between the two huge closets.
"What are you doing?" You ask half giggling.
He turns you around and pushes you to the wall, pining you with his body.
"I'm about to kiss you," he says, leaning in for a kiss.
You look the other way, mewling in disapproval and a while later, look at him to say, "We can't break more rules."
Hyunjin takes your hands and puts them around his shoulders as he closes the gap between your bodies, impossibly close he can feel your chest heaving against him.
"Hyunjin..." you mewl again as he leans in again but he lets his lips land on your neck, trying to tease you another way.
The way you grip the nape of his neck and lowly whimper as he nibbles on your ear, Hyunjin can tell that it's working so he slowly drags his lips up the column of your neck.
To make sure you're not avoiding his kiss again, he gently holds your chin and plants his lips on yours. He takes his time, kissing you slowly yet deeply while feeling your body against him.
A moment later, you break the kiss with a gasp and then bury your head in his neck.
"Everyone is going to be so mad at us," you mumble.
Hyunjin doesn't even think about anything else at this moment, all he can think about is you and your body, and how he wants to ruin you in so many ways.
"We can stop," he says but his hand glides up to your chest and his fingers lightly trace your nipple against the fabric, making it hard for you to say no to him.
He intensely stares at you and waits if you're going to say anything to stop him from doing anything but he gets nothing but the same lustful eyes from you.
He pulls the strap of your top down your shoulder, sending your breast spilling out of it and he quickly takes it into his mouth. As he sucks on it, you let out a breathless whimper with your nails dug into his shoulder. Feeling mischievous, he takes more of the flesh and sucks harder, making you yelp in pain.
"Oh, fu—" You can barely finish your word. You hurriedly plant your mouth on his neck to keep yourself quiet.
Hyunjin knows he can't leave a mark so he stops himself from doing it, slowly pulling away while looking up at you with a string of saliva connecting his lips with your nipple.
Not letting the camera catch you half-naked, he immediately fixes your top for you while blocking you with his body.
He presses his mouth to your ear and softly whispers, "You're so fucking sweet."
You look down and shyly giggle in response.
Something about you being shy that makes him want to ruin you more, makes him bolder by the minute that he doesn't hesitate anymore to crash his lips against yours and kisses you harder.
-
HYUNJIN: This kiss is worth every penny and every amount of shit that I'm about to get [grins]
-
If breathing wasn't necessary, you believe Hyunjin wouldn't stop kissing you.
He reluctantly breaks the kiss with a low groan and then buries his head in your neck, putting all of his weight against you.
You steadily hold him and put your hand in his silky locks of hair, scratching at his head with your fingertips. If it weren't for the other people, you would have stayed in there and probably continued the make-out session. However, you're aware that the longer you two are absent from the bedroom, the more suspicious they'll get.
Before he gets to do anything else, you put your hands on his chest and slowly push him away from you.
"It's getting late," you murmur at him.
As he reacts with a pout at you, you place a kiss on his cheek to console him and a quick ruffle on his hair. He slips his arms around you to hug you one more time to finally obey you.
It's a little nerve-wracking to walk back into the bedroom together, you try to act normal and try not to make any eye contact with anyone in the room as you walk to your bed.
You look at Hyunjin and he looks calm as if he didn't just kiss the life out of you back in the dressing room. He throws the decorative pillows onto the floor and pulls the duvet now, climbing onto his side of the bed.
It puts you at ease that no one is suspecting anything or that's what you see as they're busy chatting with their respective bed partners. You can't tell if you should consider it as luck because you slightly fear that Hyunjin is going to get bolder now, especially once the lights are out.
"Goodnight everyone," Edie sweetly says in the dark.
You look over your shoulder to the bed next to yours, "Night, Edie."
She outstretches her hand at you and you grab at it, "Night, sexy babe," she says back at you.
You pull the duvet to cover your legs and when you rest your head, Hyunjin's arm is already there, offering it as your pillow. He pulls you close once you lay down and kisses your neck.
"Mmh... so tired," he hums.
You slip your hand into the gaping hole on his sleeveless top and rest it on his back, "What have you been doing all night, mmh?" You poke fun at him.
He chuckles hearing your question and plants a kiss on your bare shoulder. You cautiously track his hand movement as it's dangerously going down your spine.
"Want to kiss you again," he whispers into your ear.
Your guess turned out to be right so you prepare yourself to anticipate his next move, but there's not much you can do with how tightly he holds you.
The second he leans in, you hurriedly tilt your head down so that his lips land on your eyebrow and you laugh at how he failed to kiss you.
"Oh, what did I kiss?" He asks in pure confusion.
"That's my eyebrow," you answer while still laughing.
He retracts his hand from your back and places it on the nape of your neck to keep your head steady as he leans in again and he goes on a kiss rampant all over your face.
You're quick to cover your lips with your hand but once he realizes you have your hand blocking his lips from kissing yours, he continues to ferociously kiss you.
Hyunjin eventually gives up but keeps you close to him, putting a safe space between your bodies but resting his hand on your waist to not let you get away from him.
Your hand returns to his back again, caressing his warm skin with the back of your hand, and doing it helps you calm down.
Sensing that he's getting drowsy too, you place a sweet kiss on his cheek and say, "Goodnight."
Even in a dark room, you can see him smiling at you as he says it back to you with a gentle squeeze on your waist and it feels nice.
-
YOU: I feel bad that we broke the rules but it was for a good cause.
-
The first thing Hyunjin does when he wakes up is put his arm around you and nuzzle his head in your neck.
"Morning," you mumble to him while putting his hair away from covering his face.
"I had such a good sleep," he murmurs to you.
"Did you?" You say with a sly smile.
After those kisses, you realize that you're not just physically attracted to him, you genuinely like him and it only convinces you to keep building this connection with him.
"Good morning!" Andy shouts into the room and you don't know where he gets that burst of energy this early in the day.
You look at Edie who's slightly disoriented and coo at her, "Morning, Edie baby!"
She pouts and runs her hand through her messy blond hair and twists it in her hand before securing it with a hair claw.
"I heard giggles last night," she says to you.
"From here?"
"Yeah," she answers.
"I feel like you guys broke the rules yesterday," Frida accused you two out of the blue.
 Somehow, you manage to calmly respond to her, "No, we didn't."
Hyunjin lifts his head to look at Frida and backs you up, "We did not."
You bravely look at Frida in the eyes to convince her as you add, "Just cuddling all night."
What you said seems to assure the group for now, but you know that people are starting to get suspicious of the two of you. In defense, you didn't lie, you're just withholding the truth,
-
YOU: I'm not lying, I'm just... withholding the truth [shrugs]
-
To say that you're jealous of Vic and Edouard getting a date tonight from Lana would be an understatement.
However, you're more scared of the reason why you don't get a date with Hyunjin. Lana sees everything and she knows that you break rules, in fact, she's going to expose you for it sooner or later.
You're on your second glass of wine when the call to the cabana comes and frantically searches for Hyunjin since he's the other person who knew about the rule breaks. You reunite with him on the way to the cabana and he probably knows how nervous you are from how cold your hand is as he holds it.
Like it isn't obvious enough, you tell it to him once you're both seated on the sofa, "I'm nervous."
"I know," he calmly says.
You don't know how much money you and Hyunjin spent but you know for sure that everyone is going to hate you for it.
Lana chimes and you feel like your heart just dropped to your stomach.
"In order to incentivize you to follow the rules, yesterday I doubled the fines and organized a workshop to help re-channel your sexual energy in healthy and creative ways."
It's not a good thing when Lana skips the greeting and goes straight into business, you understand why and you feel faint the closer you get to the truth.
"It seems these measures failed on every level."
"What did she say?" Marie asks.
Everyone else stays quiet as they still processing Lana's words and a moment later, the whodunit game begins. The first one to get accused of doing this is the couple who just came back from the date.
"Swear to God, we didn't do anything," Edouard immediately cleared himself and Vic from any accusations.
Andy has a bad poker face and gives himself away for everyone to see, he has no other option but to admit it right away.
"Yeah, we kissed."
"We had some time alone and we kissed, all right?" Edie explains.
"So that justifies it?" Pablo asks with a disapproving look.
"It doesn't justify it," Edie agrees with him.
"We had to go all day without knowing anything," Pablo says.
Seeing everyone's reaction to Edie and Andy's rule break only makes you anxious about what's coming to you.
"This kiss has cost the group $6,000," Lana announces the new price for a kiss.
-
YOU: I don't want to deal with everything they're dealing with right now.
-
Hyunjin does a calculation in his head. He can't even remember how many times he kisses you but if a kiss costs $6,000, the sum of what he did last night is going to be so expensive.
"That's expensive," Vic comments.
Everyone is going to know how expensive it will get when they find out how much he spent last night. He sure as hell knows there was more than one kiss.
"However, this was not the only breach of the rules," Lana continues.
Hyunjin gulps air because he knows his time has come. He gives everyone the time to prepare themselves for the truth. He looks to the side and sees you're fidgeting, he knows he can't stall it anymore.
It's time, he grits his teeth and does it, "Okay guys, listen, the first time we kissed—"
"Wait, what? The first– you kissed more than once?" Frida aggressively attacks him for it.
Shit! He shouldn't have said that, but he doesn't expect anyone to notice it either. Things are not going well with everyone going hostile on you and him all at once.
"Did you guys do something else?" Vic asks.
That's not the question Hyunjin needs right now, he gulps air again but it feels like he's trying to dry swallow a big pill.
"Look, it's—"
"Oh, my God!" Frida disappointingly says.
"What is it? What did you do?" Vic asks.
"Just touching, there was fondle... I-I don't know," you stammer while trying to explain.
"Are you serious?" Marie hysterically says.
The more he tries to explain, the worse it gets so he gives up on saying anything but waits for Lana to see where it goes.
"These rule breaks have cost the group an additional $30,000," Lana announces.
Everyone reacts in the same disappointing tone of groans and moans.
"The prize fund now stands at $132,000."
Hyunjin doesn't expect it's going to be that expensive, oh well, now he sees the consequences of his actions and is ready to accept his punishment.
"I'm sorry, guys," you apologize to everyone.
"Me too. I'm sorry," he adds with all sincerity.
"We've lost almost half of the money and it hasn't been a week," Marie scolds.
He sees it now that you're both walking on the fine edge and everyone's trust is on the line. It gets worse as Lana calls both of your names.
"Although you are displaying early signs of a deeper bond, you are spending too much energy concentrating on a physical connection rather than an emotional one."
Lana sounds mad and that's not good, Hyunjin can only hope that she doesn't kick him out this early on the retreat.
"And as you have cost the group the most money, I am setting you an additional test."
Test? When it comes to Lana's test, Hyunjin can only think of one thing and it can't be it, right?
"You will spend the night in the suite."
One thing for sure is he's relieved to not get kicked out of the retreat and for the rest... he's not sure he's going to do well on the test.
"This is your chance to show the group that your connection is more than just physical," Lana says.
Looking at everyone's doubtful look at him, Hyunjin feels the need to say something to them.
"If resisting is going to earn your trust back then I'll do it," he remarks.
Pablo sneers and says, "You lied to us. Your words don't mean until you prove it."
Ouch, that offends him but it gives him just the right motivation to prove them wrong.
"You may now leave," Lana orders.
He gets up first and offers his hand to help you, holding your hand as he exits the cabana to go to the private suite.
-
HYUNJIN: We have to earn everyone's trust back. The problem is, I have no self-control.
-
The private suite is the small guest house located not far from the main villa.
Once you get inside, you can see that the interior isn't that much different either, it's cozy and spacious. What gets your attention is how the staff decorated the room with scented candles lined up on one side of the wall, and rose petals scattered on the bed.
"What do we have here?" Hyunjin says, scanning the room for interesting things.
"Champagne, roses..." he goes to the side of the bed and picks up a furry handcuff.
"Sex toys, condoms, lubricant, oils oh..." he groans as he lists everything he finds on the bedside table.
You walk up to the bed and sit on the end of the bed, chuckling at Hyunjin's expression as he explores the tray full of various sex toys.
"You just want to make trouble, huh Lana? You want to see shit go down," you loudly shout, knowing that Lana is watching everything.
As Hyunjin walks up to you, you hold out your leg at him and rub his shin with your foot.
"Take my shoes for me, please?" You sweetly ask.
"With pleasure," he says, squatting on the floor to do what you ask. He patiently unties the laces of your heeled sandals and takes them off of you.
As he gets up from the floor, he keeps holding your legs by the ankle and lifts them, sending you lying down on the bed. He stands by the edge of the bed and holds your legs close to his chest, he runs his hands up and down the side of your legs while looking down at you.
"Is this how we're going to do it?" You playfully ask.
"Oh, you don't know what's coming for you," he seductively says, parting your legs open then puts himself in between.
There's no denying that Hyunjin is beautiful but it's only now that you have the chance to take a good look at him. You notice his shiny dark hair which he tied into a messy bun, the necklace dangling around his neck, the muscles on his arms and the veins coiling around them, and a pair of big hands with rings adorning his long fingers.
You like his hands more when they're on you but they're now propped against the bed as he hovers above you and you're about to crumble under his lustful gaze.
"The bed is perfect," you try to talk about something else entirely.
"When the lights go out it'd be like this," Hyunjin starts bouncing himself on the bed and sending the bed quaking.
He eventually stops and has you pinned under him again, burying his head in your neck, and attacking you with ferocious little kisses.
You would be lying if you said it does nothing to you, it makes the butterflies fly around in your stomach.
It doesn't take long for his kisses to turn harder, deeper and he begins to move his hand around your body. You badly want to keep him going but you know better you should do the opposite.
"At least pretend like you have some self-control," you mutter to him.
He abruptly stops moving and lightly chuckles, he pulls away to look at you, "Yeah, we're better than that."
He puts himself on top of you again, letting you hold him close and play with his hair. A moment later, he gets up while unbuttoning his shirt with one hand, completely unaware of how attractive he is for doing that.
"I'll get the bath ready," he says.
"Okay."
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YOU: I don't think I can hold back. I want to be bad, so bad [Smirks]
-
Hyunjin dips his hand into the water to check the temperature, making sure it's not too hot or cold. Getting the temperature just right, he turns the faucet to stop the hot water and walks out of the bathroom.
"The bath is ready," he announces, finding you drinking a glass of white wine on the bed.
You nod and drain your glass, putting the empty glass away to start unbuttoning your blouse.
"What are you doing?" He asks.
"Taking my clothes off," you innocently answer, taking your blouse off and setting it aside.
He thought that you would go to the bathroom first to do that, not that he minded it but seeing you taking your clothes off on the bed makes his mind go wild, all sorts of lewd thoughts rushing through his head as you sit on the bed while hugging yourself with both arms to cover your breasts.
"Do you mind helping me with my skirt?" You ask for another while unzipping the skirt.
He didn't realize he'd been staring at you and quickly getting ahold of himself, "Yes, sure."
The skirt is a little tight and tugging around your hips, he has to use his strength to take it off. You lift your hips so he can easily pull it down, revealing the black lacy underwear you're wearing underneath.
The sight of your naked body splayed on the bed makes him salivate and it stresses him out that he's not able to do anything about it. He keeps licking his lips as his throat gets dry the more he thinks about touching you.
You get off the bed and go to the bathroom with both hands crossed in front of your chest, "Come on, the water is getting cold," you remind him.
Hyunjin brings the bottle of champagne and the bowl of strawberries to the bathroom, putting them on the side of the tub. He hands you your glass so he can fill it with the white wine.
"Thank you, baby," you mutter and have a sip of wine.
He puts the bottle down and leans down with his hands gripping the edge of the tub, leaving only a few inches of space between your faces.
"Let me see..." he says, taking a moment to look at you.
He doesn't fill the water high enough to get to your chest and he can see your breasts, wet and moist from the scented water. He so badly wants to cup them and see how they fit perfectly in his hands.
His eyes travel back up and looks at your face, sighing in delight as he finds you smiling at him. He allows himself to lean in and kiss your neck, a kiss on the column of your neck and another one on the skin behind your ear.
"You're so beautiful," he praises you.
You lean forward to softly place a kiss on his inner arm, "Get in, quick, don't make me wait," you tell him.
It's not hard to be confident when he has all of your attention on him, he knows he has to make it a good show for his special audience.
He maintains eye contact with you as he unbuckles his belt, he swiftly unzips his fly and tugs his fingers into both his jeans and boxers, planning to take them all off at once, exposing himself to you.
He catches the wild glints in your eyes and the way you swallow air as your eyes dart to the thing between his legs, knowing that being in this room with you is enough to cause him a semi-hard.
"Oh, man," you say to yourself, finishing your wine in one long sip as if the sight of him makes you thirsty.
That gives him a boost of confidence, he carefully gets into the tub and lowers himself down, letting the water engulf him in warmth and floral scents.
He gropes around underwater for your feet and puts them on his chest, playing with them as he looks at you from the other end of the tub.
"I'm down to whatever you want to do," he says to you.
You hold your hand out at him, "Do we have a deal then?"
He gladly grabs your hand and shakes it, "Deal!"
To seal the deal, you both clink your champagne flutes together for a toast and have a sip.
"I want to sit on your lap," you tell him.
"Do what you want," he says with such ease, ignoring that the proximity is not going to do him good.
You're slowly making your way to him, not wanting to send the water sloshing out of the tub and sit on his lap like you wanted.
The sudden rise in the temperature is not from the bathwater, it's from the tension that keeps building between you and him.
"How am I not dying right now?" He sighs, looking up at you with your hands around his shoulders.
You lean in until your nose meets his in the middle, "Why is that so?"
He's his hands on each side of your waist and resisting to go lower than that, then sighs again, "Because you're so fucking hot."
You crack a laugh and put the hair escaping your messy bun, you notice the bowl of strawberries on the side of the tub, reaching for it.
"I want one," he requests.
You pick one and feed it to him but he tugs it between his teeth, gesturing you to take a bite of it. You slyly smile then lean in, taking a bite of the strawberry and cautiously doing it to not make contact with his lips.
Hyunjin shoves the rest that you can't bite into his mouth and chews on it, he spots the chocolate dips inside the bowl of strawberries.
"Dip it into the chocolate next," he orders.
Even though you're still chewing, you reach for the bowl and pick a strawberry, dipping it into the melted chocolate like he asked.
You immediately bring it into his mouth, not risking the chocolate to drip into the tub and he hurriedly opens his mouth for you.
The bathtub is safe from chocolate but it gets all over his chin, you wipe it with your thumb only to smear it all over his mouth.
"You did it on purpose," he teases you, half laughing.
"Licking is not against the rules, right?" You doubtfully ask yet go for it without waiting for the answer.
Your tongue feels hot and slick on his chin, and somehow, it feels way more sexual than a kiss as you land a long lick across his lips, then use your thumb to clean the rest.
"All good now," you inform.
Spotting your fingers coated with chocolate, he takes them into his mouth and gently sucks on them, making you watch him doing it as he looks at you through his lashes.
"More champagne?" You offer.
"Yes, please," he answers, holding your glass for you and his for you to refill.
He initiates another toast, he takes a quick sip so he can watch you drink your wine. You're tilting your head to have a long sip and accidentally sending it dribbling down your chin, then onto your chest.
"You made a mess, baby," he tells you.
"It's your turn to clean it up for me," you playfully dare him.
Feels challenged, he pulls you closer and leans into your chest, not hesitating to lick it clean for you. He gasps when he pulls away and grins in satisfaction, anything that requires him to make physical contact with you is a win for him.
An idea crosses his head and he follows up to that by spilling his wine onto your chest.
"Oops..." he mischievously says with a sly grin.
You put on a sassy eye roll at him and put your hands on his chest, holding him by the neck then without warning, bringing his head to your chest.
Hyunjin is more than glad to be there, drinking and tasting your skin as you pour more wine down your chest. All this drinking won't quench his thirst for he has an endless thirst for you.
The next thing he knows, he's holding you close until your breasts squashed between your chests, nothing in between, skin to skin. This level of intimacy is new to him yet he feels exceptionally at ease.
He places a hot kiss on your neck and brings his mouth close to your ear, "I want to kiss you," he whispers.
You place your forehead against his and sweetly smile, "Let's save it for later, mmh?" You tell him, then softly kiss his nose.
Now all Hyunjin can think about is when he kisses you, it'll taste of strawberry and champagne.
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HYUNJIN: I don't know if I trust myself right now [shakes head]
-
The slap on your asscheek startles you as you brush your hair in front of the sink.
"Giddy up! Let's get to bed," Hyunjin says, ogling at your ass and tempted to land another slap.
"Just a second," you tell him, patiently brushing the end of your hair before turning around to face him.
You throw your arms around him and he catches you right away, hoisting you against him to take you to bed. You tightly cling to him and put your legs around his waist.
"Oh!" You loudly moan as he throws you on the bed and puts himself on top of you next.
To not put his whole weight on you, he props his elbow against the bed and looks down at you, he plays with the thin strap of your silk camisole, twirling it around his slender finger.
"For fuck's sake! Can you stop looking so sexy?" He says with a heavy and erratic breath.
You watch his hand go down the front of your body, holding your breath when it gets dangerously close to where you want him.
At the same time, you feel like teasing him because it's fun to see him trying not to fold. You open your legs as his hand reaches your abdomen and he stops moving.
"Don't open your legs!" He demands.
You shut them and open them again the next second, spreading them wide, showing off your thin white underwear that barely covers your private part.
"Oh, fuck!" He curses out loud, struggling to not touch you there.
Before his intrusive thought wins, you take his hand and place it around your waist as you lay on your side, facing him to stare at his beautiful face.
You let your hand run down his bare chest, caressing the skin with your knuckle. You badly want to place kisses all over him so you go for it, going for his neck first then his chest next.
Hyunjin lays back on the bed and lets you continue, tracing the outline of his abs with your hand while your lips are busy placing searing kisses across his chest.
"How am I meant to resist?" He sighs as he takes a fistful of your hair in his hand.
You go for his ear, nibbling at it and taking a gentle bite at it, laughing when you see his reaction.
"Oh, I'm fucked," he groans yet with a grin on his face.
Hyunjin hovers above you again, looking at you with eyes wide and dark with desire, almost like a predator about to eat his prey.
You softly scratch the nape of his neck and then both of his ears which you notice are reddening as you play with them.
"I'm only waiting for you to say the word," he murmurs to you.
The word is on the tip of your tongue, it has been since the moment you step into the room and being alone with him. But there's too much at stake, the money and the trust you need to earn back.
Hyunjin is just good at doing that, distracting you with his plush, luscious lips. The long kiss he's planting blurs your judgments and makes you forget what is right and wrong.
The hand resting on your stomach steadily holds you down as he keeps kissing you all over your neck and chest, making you hot all over.
"Just say the word and I'll do it," he whispers to you.
This is such a dilemma. You want to be good but the bad in you keeps wanting to come out and play, especially with Hyunjin on top of you.
"I think it'll be the most expensive suite of the season," you say.
He detaches his lips from your jaw and says, "I'm more than happy to make that happen."
Caught between two choices, you think hard for a moment, considering all the pros and cons of both choices. But how your judgment is going to be fair when Hyunjin starts to go down on you, planting kisses down the front of your body?
He places a long, heavy kiss on your abdomen just right above the waistband of your underwear, then he lifts his head and asks, "How it's going to be, mmh?"
Gosh! How can you resist this sexy man? Even if you can, do you have the will to? You put your hand in his hair and tug at it.
"Let's give Lana something good to watch," you answer with a smirk.
-
YOU: Sorry, Lana but you put me in this situation.
-
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825 notes · View notes
keyotos · 1 year
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eyes on you
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summary: when do the hsr men have their eyes on you?
includes ⎯ dan heng, gepard, blade, sampo & jing yuan
tana's words ⎯ i am OBSESSED w the sound "all these girls look good but i got my eyes on you." so that's what inspired me to write this. this is sickenly sweet btw.
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dan heng
⎯ let’s be real this man always has his eyes on you. he is probably watching you to look out for you. but that’s just in a romantic sense.
⎯ dan heng is the observer type. he watches and he learns.
⎯ he watches you quite a lot. he always tries to brush it off as trying to make sure you don't break anything, but march & stelle know better. even you aren't that klutzy.
⎯ dan heng watches what you eat to find out what you enjoy. he watches how you react to certain things to see if you dislike them or not. in short, he observes (watches) you to find out how to be better for you. he wants to be the best version of himself, and that includes knowing what all your favorite things are.
⎯ he definitely logs all the information he knows about you in his little data base. it's like his notes app, but a notes app for nerds.
⎯ march & stelle insist he just ask you, but nooooooo, because that would seem like he doesn't know anything about you. in reality, he knows plenty.
⎯ you would think that, judging on how much he stares at you, he would know how to not get caught. WRONG. you've caught him on multiple occasions.
one time, when the world around you was surprisingly peaceful, you and dan heng went to go get food for march & stelle. after you ordered their food you guys sat down at a table (bc you all were meeting up) with their food. you eyed the food carefully before stealing a sip of stelle's drink.
⎯ "she won't mind!" she did. but that's okay.
when you took a sip out of stelle's drink, dan heng was watching you closely to see if you would enjoy it. if you enjoyed it, he'd get one for you the next time you guys come. while he's staring, he loses track of his original goal and begins noting other things. the crinkle of your eyes when you smile at the taste of the drink. the way your whole face lights up.
⎯ "take a picture, it'll last longer," you caught him and smiled. dan heng leaves his trance and begins to blush.
⎯ "that is such a ridiculous line," he shakes his head, trying to deflect the fact that he's been caught. he has his eyes on you one more time to see you smirking at him.
⎯ he now takes candid photos of you because of that line.
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gepard
⎯ due to his captain position, you guys never got to see each other often. any free time you had was treated with utmost importance and no time could be spared. gepard barely had any time to set any eyes on you.
⎯ when bronya became the supreme guardian and when the fragmentum dispelled, everything changed. gepard now had more free time, which meant he had more time with you. time that could be spent doing nothing but just admiring the way you look.
gepard hasn't seen you in weeks. with the final clearance of the fragmentum monsters, he was gifted a few weeks of clarity with you. when he got home, he immediately showered and tried his best to look good for you.
when he saw you for the first time, you literally took his breath away. it was as if you glowed; you were nearly as radiant as the bright sun that was shining down on your face. gepard's eyes and his attention were only on you.
⎯ you and the guy that was standing next to you.
⎯ WHO IS THIS MAN????? did you finally get tired of endless waiting? did you feel lonely? does he treat you well? is he nice? does he listen to all your rants? is he there to kiss you goodnight?
⎯ gepard's thoughts are interrupted when he hears your voice. he sees you running over to him and then you're pulling him.
you grab his arm, pulling him towards the new guy. gepard was initially worried about what was going to happen next, but all was forgotten when he felt your arm tangled around his once again; he immediately leaned into your warm touch. instead of looking at the new guy, his eyes follow you at all times. gepard's fond expression is seen by all except himself.
his absence from your grace allowed him to forget every small detail about you. the way your smile grew as you spoke about your relationship (gepard blushed). the way you got all excited when you were introducing people. the way your voice goes up an octave when you get excited.
every time you pull yourself closer to his body, gepard is on the verge of combustion. he’s been touch starved for so long, he couldn’t wait for until you guys went home. he just wanted to be in bed or on the couch with you, simply relaxing in sweet nothing.
for now though, gepard waited for the conversation to end.
⎯ when the conversation is over, you and gepard have a small conversation.
"sooo, were you listening to me or staring at me during that whole thing?" you smirked. when gepard's face blushed, you couldn't help but smile. "i wasn't cheating on you if that's what you were worried about," you pulled him closer using the collar of his shirt, "i missed you too, by the way," and pulled him in for a kiss.
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blade
⎯ blade doesn't consider himself to be the staring type. he's more, less talking (staring), more action (i'll let you guys interpret).
⎯ but how could he not stare at you when you look so peaceful. you're sleeping in his bed, wrapping in his blankets, and snoring without a care in the world.
⎯ had the snoring not been so loud, blade wouldn't have woken up to find such an endearing moment.
⎯ now, blade has been staring at your sleeping figure for longer than he would like to admit. he's been watching the rise and fall of your chest. listening to the snores getting quieter and then louder once more. he cannot tear his eyes off of your peaceful state.
blade brushes pieces of stray hair away from your face. he puts his hand over your sleeping figure, as if he was trying to protect you from the evils in the night. at this moment, however, there were no evils. just you and him in the moonlight. maybe it was the domesticity of the whole situation that made him continue his one-sided staring contest. with all the fighting and destruction going on in the universe right now, you are still next to him. you are here, and he is listening to you snore.
⎯ it's when you shuffle around the best, blade gets scared. he's scared he woke you up and ruined this domestic moment. his hand recoils away from your body.
⎯ when you turn, you are still asleep. it seems you were just readjusting yourself. readjusting yourself closer to him, that is. you went from back facing him to your front facing him.
⎯ blade watched your face as you slept. you looked so beautiful with the pale moonlight shining down on your face. normally, you complained that you couldn't sleep with the moon shining on your face, so that's why you slept with your back facing towards blade.
⎯ but tonight, blade has never gotten a chance to admire how the moonlight reflects on the shapes of your faces. your eyes, your lips, your nose.
⎯ it's when you put a hand on his knee, blade nearly jumps back. not out of fear (slightly out of fear), but because he thought he woke you up by breathing. he was confused.
you put your hand on his knee, in a sleeping daze. usually, at night, you are always physically touching your boyfriend somehow. but tonight, he is awake, watching you. your small act of physical touch was a beckoning for him to go to sleep and be with you.
⎯ blade grabbed your hand and slipped back under the covers with you. this time, after admiring one last glimpse of your sleeping face, he tugged you closer to him and you both fell asleep.
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sampo
⎯ there are many formidable fighters in boulder city. that's a fact. fighting is the way of many in the underworld. sampo has seen it first hand.
⎯ sampo had not, however, seen a fighter as formidable as you.
⎯ he stumbled upon one of dig's matches at the right time. there was a crowd leading out to the door; it peaked sampo's curiosity. he had intentions of selling items at first, which is why he was shuffling through the crowd to get into the center. but when he saw you in the ring, beating everyone in your path, his beginning intentions were forgotten.
⎯ his eyes were glued to you: he was obsessed with the way you moved, the way you glided across the ring, the way you confidently destroyed all your enemies. he found you entrancing, and he had to see you after the match.
⎯ you’re no underground idiot. you’re aware of sampo koski and his costly scams. when he comes up to you after your match, you were about to run away. still, something about his presence made you want to stay.
when you turned around, you were faced with sampo koski hovering over you. “can i help you?” you asked in a raised tone.
“yes,” sampo smiled. you were interested in where this conversation was going, and you were curious on why sampo chose you to be his next victim. “mind teaching me some moves?”
⎯ you expected a lot of things in this situation. scamming, coy flirtation, winks, etc. you did not expect this.
⎯ you almost stumble back in shock. why does he want to know self-defense tips?? who are the people he’s scamming??????
you’re silent for several beats before sampo begins again, “you’re the best fighter in the underground, honest. and,” he dragged on the word to drag out the conversation, “that means you can help me!”
⎯ if sampo was really being honest with himself, he could’ve asked any other person in the ring. anyone else would’ve shown him self-defense; they liked him. you probably did not (judging by your expression).
⎯ instead, he wanted you. he told himself it was because you were the best fighter in the ring and you were talented. but deep down, it’s because he couldn’t keep his eyes off your performance the entire time; he was encapsulated by you.
“flattery will get you nowhere,” you patted his shoulder and started to walk away; however, sampo’s hand lightly grabs onto your arm, urging you to stay. and for some reason, you don’t let go.
“cmon,” he smirked, and it was weirdly attractive, “what if i need a bodyguard?”
⎯ maybe it was the tone of his voice. maybe it was the way he looked at you. maybe it was the way he held onto you, but he didn’t hold on too tight. whatever it was that night, it convinced you to stay by his side for a long time.
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jing yuan
⎯ he can’t take his eyes off of you when he sees you in the courtyard playing chess with yanqing.
⎯ it's a sight for sore eyes, seeing you and yanqing together. the way you two got along so well made jing yuan's heart swell. seeing you two was like feeling the warm sun after a chilly day.
⎯ jing yuan has never expected you to stay for so long. his life has been full of troubles: intense training at a young age, the death of his master, taking on yanqing as his apprentice, and probably more to come. and yet, you've stayed by his side.
⎯ you are here. and you are alive and you are well. with a life full of loss, jing yuan is happy you are still here. he’s happy that you are smiling and laughing and you are doing mundane things such as playing chess.
⎯ it’s a simple activity. it’s calm and it’s peaceful and there’s no harm coming your way. life seems good for once, and jing yuan thinks he can get used to this as long as you were around him. he finds that peace comes along when you are around anyway.
“darn it! how did you see that?!” yanqing exclaimed, shocked by your recent move in chess. you simply smiled in retaliation, “dunno. face it kid, i am just that good.”
“hey! i was close to getting you though,” the boy reminded you. jing yuan was getting closer now to eavesdrop on your conversation. “key word being close,” you snickered.
⎯ who knew the way into jing yuan’s heart was banter and chess? the more he listened to your conversation, the more his heart swelled. the way you got along so easily with yanqing made him all warm and happy inside; it was such a domestic sight to see.
jing yuan approached your battle with yanqing and sat down next to you. like a moth to a light, you immediately leaned into his body, and jing yuan had to fight off the urge to pull you closer to him.
⎯ yanqing didn’t notice anything, as he was too focused on the chess game. he moved one of his pieces that were then followed by one of your chess pieces.
“you know i was the one who taught your master how to play chess?” you blurted out to yanqing as you followed his pieces around the board. jing yuan looked at you fondly, eyes never leaving your face.
“that’s why i’m so good,” you smirked, “and that’s also why i’m smart enough to do this,” you somehow managed to trap all of yanqing’s pieces, and one by one you started to take them all.
⎯ jing yuan had to hold in his laughter as he watched yanqing’s jaw drop to the floor as you give a low chuckle. jing yuan’s eyes went back to your face, and he thinks that this is nice. he could get used to this.
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um yk idk if this is good or not but hopefully u guys enjoy this lol
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specialagentartemis · 2 months
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I have a different post in the works about Maddie not having children in the "Masters of All Time" timeline - it makes the emotional dilemma about whether Maddie should help Danny repair and reset the timeline straightforward and clean, but the thing is, the premise that "Masters of All Time" gives us is a FASCINATING and potentially really anguishing emotional dilemma if the writers were allowed to acknowledge it.
Maddie isn't happy in the MoAT timeline. When Danny shows up in her timeline, frantically trying to explain to her that he's her son with Jack Fenton from a different timeline, she accepts and embraces this explanation pretty quickly. It feels like she wants to believe it - she wants to believe that if things had gone differently, she would have married Jack, had children, had a ghost-hunting career she could be open and proud about. Everything Danny offers to her is something she wants more than what she has - a husband who has been lying to her, who dislikes ghost stuff and disapproves of her ghost research, so she has to do it in secret and hide it from him.
Something that goes totally unaddressed: Danny, her son from a different timeline, is a ghost. He's dead.
Never once does anyone stop to wonder what it means that her teenage son is a ghost.
And I know it's because Hartman & co. refuse to let anyone acknowledge that ghosts are dead people... but imagine they did.
Maddie Masters is... happy enough, she guesses. She married her college friend, and he is her friend, and she's not opposed to this. He doesn't support her work, but, well. She deals. She has her basement ghost research lab, even if she has to keep it secret from Vlad. She lost touch with Jack decades ago, and still regrets that, but that happens, sometimes, and his grievances aren't unfounded. She doesn't have children.
And then a ghost boy claiming to be her son shows up, and tells her that in a different timeline, the timeline that should have happened, she married Jack Fenton, she has two children, she is is out and proud about her ghost research and ghost-hunting and Jack enthusiastically collaborates with her on it. He tells her she's happy.
He doesn't tell her how he died.
And Maddie has a heartbreaking choice to make. Does she help him make this reality happen, restore time to how it's "supposed" to go?She wants to believe him, to believe in this alternate history where things went differently and she got the life she wanted! She has a wacky house full of Ghost Contraptions, a husband who loves her and supports her and collaborates with her, and two children she loves.
... and one of those children is going to die when he's 14. That comes with this choice.
Can she live with that? Consciously make this timeline happen, knowing she's going to have this child and then see him die.
It puts me in mind of one of the major emotional through-lines of "Story of Your Life" by Ted Chiang, the story of a linguist who makes contact with aliens and learns their language that allows her to see all of time at once, where it will go, what the outcomes of events will be. She sees her daughter dying. She knows from the moment she has this child that she will die in a rock-climbing accident in college. She sees it all at once, her whole life, and makes that choice to have a baby anyway.
I think MoAT!Maddie should have to consciously make a similar choice, and have similar feelings about it. Unlike the protagonist of "Story of Your Life," she doesn't know how it will all go. She only knows it as Danny tells her, and she herself won't really experience this, going forward. But she, another version of her, will. And Danny doesn't explain the halfa thing or the portal accident or anything, leaving Maddie to have to make her own hypotheses about what her alternate-life's future holds, about the grief that's going to come with the love, and make that choice to make it happen anyway.
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colleendoran · 1 year
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How Do I Do Stuff
The question was phrased a little strangely, and I don't want to embarrass the person by posting exactly what was said, but I'll answer it and hope this clears everything up.
I do almost all of my drawing by hand. No, I don't trace in Photoshop. Not a judgment on those who do, but I come from a generation of artists who did not use Poser programs or other digital tools. We learned to draw using a technique called the Sight Size method. I know a lot of people assume everyone - including the old masters - traced everything using optical tools, but while it is true some people did, it is just as true that most didn't, and you can draw with great accuracy if you learned how to draw the old fashioned way.
Sight Size breaks everything down into its barest components of geometric shapes and you build from there. Once you learn it, you never forget, and it applies to everything you will ever draw.
I learned it using a set of Famous Artist Course books my mom had since she was a kid, and they are still the gold standard. They're often on ebay. If I were you, I'd buy them.
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I actually find using figure reference really annoying because I like exaggerations and modifications from reality in my final work.
This page from Neil Gaiman's Chivalry was drawn and painted without figure reference of any kind.
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I don't know why people assume I trace all the time. If you were to try to use photographs to replicate these figures, you would find they are slightly off. There is no tracing here.
This is not to say I never use reference. This page, for example, was referenced from a photo of my mother. Isn't she pretty.
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But this page of Sir Galaad was drawn and painted without reference.
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He's pretty, too.
If he were real, I'm sure a lot of people would be very happy about it. But he's not. And had I reference, the art would have gone a lot faster. I had a time trying to nail this face that is very alive in my head but doesn't really exist.
Back in the ancient days, all cartoonists had to learn to draw and paint extemporaneously because reference was limited and digital tools didn't exist. While some high end artists had photography studios and professional models with costume and sets on hand, small fry like me were limited to what was in the house or available at my small local library, which was no bigger than a few rooms of my current house.
Artists kept extensive "morgue files" or "swipe files" which were collected from magazine clippings and photographs so we would have as much of what we might need on hand for quick reference. These ephemera collections could get unwieldy. I have thousands of photographs I've simply never sorted. I finally dumped most of my files this past year.
Have I ever traced anything? Of course, especially if I have to re-use a shot or setting over and over. Making extra work for myself is just silly. It's my job to make pictures, not to perform magical feats, like copying one shot after another over and over without making a mistake.
However, for almost 15 years of my career, I refused to copy or trace anything, and did not even own a lightbox. On the one hand, that forced me to learn to carefully examine what I saw. On the other hand, it was a stupid hill on which many deadlines died.
Only after I realized many professional artists had lightboxes and overhead projectors did I finally break down and get one.
The one thing I use my lightbox for more than anything is for tracing my thumbnail sketches to the final drawing paper. Instead of trying to capture the liveliness of the original sketch by copying what I see - only bigger - I blow the thumbnail up to the size I want the final art to be, then I trace over the thumbnail using a lightbox onto the final drawing paper.
Here's a look at thumbnails from the graphic novel Neil Gaiman's Snow, Glass, Apples.
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I enlarged these on my computer to fit onto 11"x14" paper, and traced the thumbs before finishing the art which was drawn in pen and ink and colored in Photoshop.
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While I obviously made some changes, the essence of the thumbs is there in the final work. Tracing my thumbs retains some of the looseness of the original sketches, which is often lost otherwise.
So, there is a valid purpose to tracing at times, though in my opinion, too much tracing can weaken drawing ability, substitute for developing skills, and make the work kind of stiff.
If you want to, I'm not your judge. But it's weird to me that people think I must be faking my skills in some way.
Ironically, the word cartoon comes from the Italian word cartone, which is a large heavy sheet of paper - also, the origin of the word carton.
Preparatory sketches were made on this paper which was then transferred to the final work surface via either tracing or by stamping little holes in the paper through which dust was sprinkled, recreating the contours of the drawing for the artist to follow.
So the origin of the word cartoon comes from a process often used...for tracing.
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tootiecakes234 · 6 months
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First Kiss
Your first kiss with Katsuki was overwhelming…
The two of you have been friends since U.A. You’ve gotten so close over past couple years to the point where if your friends saw you they expected him not to be far behind and vice versa.
Best friends, that’s what you’ve settled with because you know Kat had 0 interest in you outside of that. You’ve seen the girls he’s hooked up with and you did not fit that type at all.
And don’t get it wrong, you loved being his best friend. He taught you stand up for yourself and you’d taught him how to speak to people with some level of respect. You guys were good together… yin and yang you liked to think
One night, you’re leaving a hangout you guys had at Mina’s place and Kat is walking you home. It was cool out that night and the moon was shining so bright you could still see the clouds in the sky. Apparently you had been gotten lost looking up at it.
“Oi, earth to y/n…. Get your ass moving. I’m exhausted and I’m ready to get home.”
When you come back to reality and look at him, he does look tired. It was almost 11:30pm and Kat had a strict bed time of 9:30…. 10 if he was feeling frisky.
“You do realize I don’t need you to walk me home. I’m a pro hero. I think I can take care of myself”
“Psh…. It’s not a criminal I’m worried about taking you out. It’s your clumsy ass coordination. You’re going to end up offing yourself if you don’t learn how to walk like an adult”
Ok so yea… maybe you had sprained your ankle last year while walking up some stairs. That’s wasn’t your fault tho… it was the stair ‘s fault.
“Are you ever gonna let that go?? Isn’t it getting a little old?”
“It still makes me laugh so nope…”
You rolled your eyes at him. He’s such a dick.
You were now walking up the same previously mentioned stairs to your apartment with Katsuki on your heels.
“ Are these the tights you were talking about the other day?? The ones that make your ass look “the best it’s ever looked””
“ Yea!!! Doesn’t it look amazing??!? I gave Mina the link while we were at her house because she mention how fantastic they looked on me”
“Sure I guess. I ain’t seen anything your ass doesn’t look good in but whatever you say”
You didn’t know what to say to that. He was just upfront like that. The man had little to no filter. Thank god you were at your door. You were unlocking it and about to go inside..
“Wait”
You turned around to look at him.
“What’s up”
“I uhm… well….”
“Come on, spit it out. I ain’t got all night”
He stared you directly in your eyes and said
“Fuck it”
Before you had time to react you were pressed up against the wall and his lips were on yours. Calling what happened a kiss seemed to be a real understatement. It was more like he was consuming you. More so than he already had. You got lost in him. Your hands were in his hair and his arms were around your waist pressing you against him.
When he pulled away you found yourself chasing his lips because you were afraid if it stopped, it might never start again.
“Next time, instead of bitching to raccoon eyes about how you don’t think you’re my type, just come straight to me dumbass. Since when do you keep secrets from me?”
You were really trying to pull your train of thought together but it was really hard when his lips still looked so inviting.
Kat realizes you’re not paying attention to him and flicks you in the forehead.
“Hey asshole. You know I hate when you do that”
“Then pull yourself together. I know I kiss like a god but that doesn’t mean you get to space out.”
He was smirking at you. Katsuki Bakugo had just kissed you and was now standing in front of you looking all suave and handsome. If you died here, you’d die a very happy person.
Your brain started playing catch and you realized something
“So you were eavesdropping on a private conversation?? And I wasn’t bitching… she was asking about you and me yet again and I was explaining to her that I didn’t think it’d ever happen”
You said the last part a little softer because you were embarrassed talking about all of this
“I wasn’t eavesdropping… it was shitty hair. Idk what you think my type is but apparently you got it all wrong”
He does not elaborate or tell you that you are his type. He just leaves it at that so you side step it
“I’m gonna kill Eiji…”
You guys sit there for a second until
“Anyways I’m tired . I’m going home to salvage the little bit of sleep I am going to get tonight. See ya later.”
And he turned to leave. Just like that.
“So that’s it… you kiss me, reveal my biggest secret and leave”
All you can do is sit there befuddled and confused.
“Yep. See ya tomorrow”
Katsuki actually leaves after that. He was not playing about his sleep. You do get a message about 10minutes later letting you know he’s home and also requesting the link to the tights you had on that night.
You ask him why he needs that and all he says is that you need them in more colors than just black… ha! You knew your ass looked good in these!
*you do not know until weeks later that in his head, that kiss was the start of y’all’s relationship. Asshole never does actually ask you but what else do you really expect from the angry Pomeranian?🤷🏾‍♀️
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sh1-n0bu · 8 months
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hhhhhhhhh
no no no you guys just don’t get it. irl i’m fucking small, okay? like i’m 163cm. 5’3 or however that would turn out to be. and you guys need to understand that being that small and having an s/o who’s an absolute giant compared tk you (bonus points if they’re in a position of power and commanding) and yet to have your powerful s/o become nothing more than a pathetic whining, whimpering mess who’s just begging for your touch while on their knees with tears welling in their eyes *bangs head against wall bangs head against wall bagns head against wall*
imagine being the lover of jing yuan. he’s a powerful man, a literal general of an entire army and yet the moment he sees you, he’s tugging on your sleeve, pouting as he asks for you to touch him. he’s been such a good boy and holding himself back for you, please help him out? he can get you your favorite snacks! or do you need shoulder massages? jing yuan is running around like an errand boy, trying to please you jusg so he can feel your hand tightly wrapped around his cock.
imagine being the lover of blade. he’s a scary guy. quiet, reserved, cruel and most definitely won’t hesitate to resort to murder if he wants something. or simply if he felt like it. imagine him crawling on your lap with loud whines and soft whimpers, grinding his hard on on your thigh. you always tell him to learn how to use his words but bladie just never seems to get it. maybe you should edge him again until he learns his lesson?
imagine being the lover of gepard landau. he’s the captain of the silvermane guards. the most trusted man and silvermane guard in the entirety of belebog. the people adore him and his subordinates look up to him, wanting to be strong and reliable just like their captain. if only they knew their captain was wearing a hidden collar underneath his high collared undershirt. one that said just who he would kneel to.
imagine being the lover of sampo. he’s a cheeky guy. lies and manipulation tactics ready up his sleeve. he knows how to weasel his way out of every dirty situation. but he would never lie to you. never you. not when you made it clear on just how rough you can be in the bedroom after finding out he lied about not tricking one of the astral express crew. but sometimes, sampo wants to lie again and have you know of it just so he can be put in impossible positions while he sobs and drools deliriously.
imagine being the lover of imbibitor lunae. he is the high elder of vidyadhara, the most respected individual amongst his own race. he’s elegant, divine, ethereal, calm and collected. a person of authority and power. if only the people knew just good you wreck him with only just your fingers. how his tail would curl around you asking for more while he sobs for you to be gentle. he’s always so sensitive in his vidyadhara form. just tug on his tail or guide his head to between your legs by his horns, he would become a mindless, pliant baby in no time.
imagine being the lover of welt. he’s a calm and serious man of the astral express crew. often being their guidance and pillar to lean on when things get a bit too much. heck, sometimes he even acts like a tired dad (that “maaarrrcchhhh” scene in xianzhou quest). hell, he was even formerly the second herrscher of reason, a being that’s literally able to bend the physics of reality itself. and yet he would do anything just so he can feel you around him. he wouldn’t hesitate to try and please you so he can be inside your warm walls, moaning and trembling as you ride him.
imagine being the lover of kafka. she’s a scary woman, no doubt. just a single whisper and you would be nothing more than her cute little puppet. and yet she uses her powers for more… different reasons when with you. ordering you to fuck her cunt, finger her open in the dark alleyway, to let her sit on your face so she can ride herself into overstimulation. kafka loves when you’re in control. especially when wringing orgasm after orgasm from her shaking body.
imagine being the lover of himeko. she’s the one who rebuilt the astral express, a respected and well known genius of a beautiful lady. anyone would be lucky to meet her. but the only luck himeko wants is to feel your fingers inside her. how she would give everything just so she can hear you whisper all sorts of vile things in her ear as you pinch her clit, telling her to keep quiet so she won’t wake up the others.
in conclusion, reverse size kink my beloved🥰🥰
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Be Kind
The Bruises On Your Ego Make You Go Wild (1)
Scarlet Witch x Witch!Reader x Wanda Maximoff
Summary: You looked up to the Scarlet Witch, but what happens when you finally get the chance to learn from her?
Word Count: 2.4K
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, R calls SW Goddess, W refers to herself as Mommy, pet names (little one, pet), SW is abusive towards R, W takes care of R.
A/N: I mean if I was R.....I'd do it. I was in fact listening to Be Kind by Halsey on repeat while writing this.
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In a secluded corner of the mystical realm, where the lines between reality and magic blur, the Scarlet Witch, Wanda Maximoff, stood amidst swirling energies, her presence commanding and potent. It was there that she encountered a young woman, whose devotion to her was fervent and unwavering.
"T-the Scarlet Witch." You stammered, your voice barely above a whisper as you beheld your idol in the flesh.
Wanda turned her gaze towards the diminutive figure before her, her expression unreadable. "Who might you be, little one?" Her tone held a hint of icy detachment, sending a shiver down your spine.
"Y/N...Y/L/N..." You managed to utter her name, your hair cascading around your face like a veil as you stood in awe before the legendary sorceress.
"What is it that you seek?" Wanda inquired, her crimson eyes piercing into your soul as she took a step closer.
Your heart raced, your breath catching in your throat. "Y-you...My Goddess," You confessed, your voice trembling with reverence.
"Goddess?" Wanda's curiosity was piqued as she regarded the young woman before her.
"Yes. You are a Goddess to me, the power you wield...it's unimaginable for someone like me," You confessed, your eyes shimmering with adoration. "I know I'll never be anywhere close to you, but I would love to be beneath you. Learn from you. Have you tell me exactly what to do and how to do it."
"Why?" Wanda's question hung in the air, demanding an answer.
Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you spoke your truth. "Making Doms feel powerful is my favorite thing to do. You SHOULD feel like a fucking Goddess when I'm worshipping your feet and praying at your altar. I want the powertrip of you owning me to ruin your life so you can never accept anything less than being treated like royalty."
"Beneath me is right where you belong pet." She's right up against you, hand around your neck squeezing ever so slightly, just enough to make you fuzzy.
Your heart raced as the Scarlet Witch loomed over you, her presence both intimidating and intoxicating. Despite the fear coursing through your veins, there was an undeniable thrill at being in the presence of your idol.
"I-I'm yours," You stammered, your voice barely above a whisper. "Completely and utterly."
The Scarlet Witch's grip tightened, and Harley's breath caught in her throat. But it wasn't fear that consumed her; it was a heady mix of desire and devotion.
"Good," the Scarlet Witch murmured, her tone sending shivers down your spine. "You will serve me well, little one."
With those words, you knew your life would never be the same. You had found your purpose, your goddess, and you would follow her to the ends of the earth and beyond.
With a flick of her wrist a portal opened, "You will always stay a step behind me. Never beside me and absolutely never in front of me." You nod and she grips you a little tighter, your breath catching. "Words." She demanded.
"Yes My Goddess." She smiled, letting you go as you fell to your ass, gasping for air.
"Let's go. Now." She commanded. Heart pounding, scrambling to your feet, your body trembling with anticipation and excitement. You followed the Scarlet Witch through the portal, your mind swirling with a mixture of fear and adoration.
As you stepped through to the other side, you felt a surge of power coursing through your veins. You were no longer just a mere mortal; you were a disciple of the Scarlet Witch, ready to do whatever it took to prove your loyalty.
With each step you took behind your goddess, you knew you were exactly where you were meant to be. And as you vanished into the unknown, you vowed to never stray from her side, forever bound to serve the one who held your heart and soul in her hands.
As you delved deeper into your role as a disciple of the Scarlet Witch, you found yourself immersed in a world of rules and rituals. Each day brought new lessons, new challenges, and new opportunities to prove your devotion.
You learned to always stay a step behind your Goddess, never daring to step out of line. Pets weren't allowed on furniture, a rule that you quickly adapted to, finding comfort in your place at your Goddess’ feet.
Touching was strictly forbidden unless granted explicit permission, a lesson you learned the hard way more than once, but each reprimand only fueled your desire to please your Goddess even more.
And then there was the rule of silence, a constant reminder to only speak when spoken to and to always address the Scarlet Witch as "My Goddess." It was a rule you followed religiously, your words carefully chosen and spoken with reverence.
But amidst the strict guidelines and rigid structure, there was magic. The Scarlet Witch shared her knowledge with you, teaching you the ways of the arcane arts as the two of you went about your days. And as you found yourself clad in nothing but the barest of clothes, you knew that your Goddess held the ultimate power over you, both body and soul.
As you unleashed your blue light magic, a palpable energy filled the air. The Scarlet Witch observed with a wicked smile, recognizing the potential within her devoted disciple.
"Oh, I'm going to have to corrupt my pet much more in order to train you properly," the Scarlet Witch declared, her voice carrying a husky tone that sent shivers down your spine.
Your eyes sparkled with a mix of fear and anticipation. "Yes, My Goddess. Do with me what you must," you responded, a fervent willingness in your voice.
In that moment, the Scarlet Witch saw not just a follower, but a canvas upon which she could weave her magic and desires. The journey of corruption and training had only just begun, and you willingly surrendered yourself to the whims of your Goddess, ready to be molded into something both powerful and utterly devoted.
You were doing your normal chores around the house for your Goddess as she spent time in her room meditating. Laundry, cleaning up the various rooms of the house, and of course cooking dinner for your Goddess. You hum a tune, moving your hips to the imaginary tune in your head, so focused on your task that you don't hear her come into the kitchen until you’re suddenly pushed against the counter. "Who told you that you could have fun while doing your chores?" She growled at you.
Startled, you froze as the Scarlet Witch pushed you against the counter, your heart pounding in her chest. The playful hum died on your lips as you looked up at your Goddess, your eyes wide with surprise.
"I-I'm sorry, My Goddess," you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't mean to... I was just... lost in my thoughts."
The Scarlet Witch's gaze bore into you, a mixture of irritation and amusement flickering in her eyes. "Lost in your thoughts, hmm?" she mused, her voice low and dangerous. "You forget your place, little one. Your only purpose is to serve me, not to have fun."
Your heart sank as you realized your mistake. You had let your guard down, allowed yourself a moment of pleasure amidst your duties. It was a mistake you wouldn't make again.
"I-I understand, My Goddess," you replied, your voice tinged with remorse. "It won't happen again."
With a dismissive wave of her hand, the Scarlet Witch released her hold on you, allowing you to straighten up. As you resumed your chores with renewed focus, you vowed to never forget your place again, determined to be the perfect servant for you goddess's every whim.
After getting your Goddess' meal together you stayed curled up next to her on the floor silently while she ate. You didn't want to upset her anymore, but as she finished up, throwing away what she didn't eat instead of giving it to you a small whine came up your throat. She ignored the noise as she grabbed your bowl from the floor and grabbing last night's left overs throwing them into your bowl without reheating it in anyway, setting it back down.
"Eat pet." Another whine, you hate cold food. "Now or you can starve tonight." you didn't want to loose your food privileges. With a heavy heart, you obediently began to eat the cold food, each bite a reminder of your place in the hierarchy of your relationship. "There we go pet."
As you ate, the Scarlet Witch cleaned up the remnants of her own meal, her movements precise and efficient. You watched her, a mixture of admiration and longing swirling within you.
Once you finished your meager meal, you lowered your gaze, feeling the weight of your goddess's presence beside you. You knew you had disappointed her, and the thought pained you more than you cared to admit.
But as you sat there, bowl empty and stomach still grumbling, you vowed to do better. You would serve your Goddess with unwavering devotion, no matter the cost. For in the end, you knew that your goddess's approval was all that truly mattered.
"Come on pet. Living room. Time for some rest " You went to get up, but she pushed you back down, "Bad pets crawl." Another whine pushes through you as you felt your knees throb.
"Yes My Goddess. I'm sorry My Goddess."
You obediently crawled behind your Goddess, your knees aching with each movement. You suppressed another whine, knowing that any sign of defiance would only earn you further punishment.
Settling at the Scarlet Witch's feet, you shivered as a draft swept through the room, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. But you dared not complain, instead curling up tighter in an attempt to ward off the chill.
As the Scarlet Witch relaxed on the couch, book in hand and music filling the air, you remained at her feet, your gaze fixed on your Goddess with unwavering devotion. Despite the discomfort and the ache in your limbs, there was nowhere else you would rather be.
For in that moment, with your Goddess by your side, you felt a sense of belonging unlike anything you had ever known. And as you drifted off to sleep, curled up at the feet of your beloved Goddess, you knew that you would follow her to the ends of the earth and beyond.
You fell asleep at The Scarlet Witch's feet and for a moment the Scarlet Witch wasn't that she was Wanda. The soft caring Sokovian that only poked through in small moments. Looking down at you Wanda couldn't help, but smile. She noticed the goosebumps and the shiver that wracked you as she grabbed a blanket, throwing it over you. Wanda watched as the young girl curled up with the blanket, a smile on your lips.
As Wanda's soft, caring side emerged, she couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and tenderness towards you, the young girl who had devoted herself so completely to her.
"I do love being your Goddess," Wanda whispered, her voice filled with genuine affection. "But maybe we can have more moments like this sometime when you're awake."
Leaning down, Wanda ran her fingers through your hair, savoring the fleeting moment of intimacy. For a brief instant, she allowed herself to revel in the bond you shared, the connection that went beyond the roles of Goddess and disciple.
But as quickly as the moment had come, the Scarlet Witch reclaimed control, her expression hardening once more. With a final glance at you, she rose from the couch, leaving you to your dreams.
As Wanda disappeared into the shadows, a part of her held onto the hope that perhaps, someday, they could have more moments like this, where the lines blurred, and they could simply be two souls finding solace in each other's presence.
As you woke up with the comforting warmth of the blanket draped over you, you couldn't shake the feeling that something had shifted between yourself and the Scarlet Witch. Gone was the brief glimpse of Wanda's softer side, replaced instead by a harsher, more unforgiving demeanor.
As days turned into weeks, you found yourself facing increasingly harsh punishments for even the slightest slip-up. The Scarlet Witch's reprimands grew sharper, her punishments more severe, leaving you constantly sore and bruised from the onslaught of red magic.
Confusion and frustration gnawed at your mind as you struggled to understand the sudden change in your Goddess’ behavior. What had you done to deserve such harsh treatment? Why had the kindness you had glimpsed before been replaced by cruelty?
But try as you might, you couldn't find the answers you sought. All you could do was endure the pain and punishment, clinging to the hope that someday, the Scarlet Witch's wrath would relent, and you would once again know the gentleness you had experienced that one fleeting moment with the blanket.
One day it happened, you cracked and just started crying, you weren’t even being punished you were just thinking way to much.
"I...don’t...understand. why...why is it only punishments? Why can't I do anything right anymore? I'm sorry I'm not good enough. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..." As your tears flowed freely, your heart heavy with sorrow and confusion, you felt a presence beside you, a warmth enveloping your trembling form. You looked up through blurred vision to see Wanda, her eyes soft and filled with compassion.
"It's okay, little one. It's okay, Mommy is here," Wanda murmured, her voice gentle and soothing. She gathered you into her arms, holding you close as she shushed away your tears.
Your heart skipped a beat at the unexpected term of endearment, "Mommy?" you whispered, your voice trembling with disbelief.
With a tender smile, Wanda nodded, her green eyes shining with love and affection. "That's right, little one. I'm your mommy," she confirmed, her fingers gently brushing away your tears.
A sense of warmth and safety washed over you as you nestled into Wanda's embrace, feeling a bond between them that went beyond disciple and Goddess. In that moment, you knew that you were loved, cherished, and protected.
"I'm sorry she's been so mean to you recently," Wanda apologized, her voice filled with regret. "But I won't let her keep hurting you like that. You've had enough. It's time for some nice play to take place."
With those words, Wanda wiped away the last of your tears, her touch a balm to your wounded soul. And as the two of you shared a tender moment together, you knew that you had found solace in the arms of Wanda, the Scarlet Witch's harshness melting away in the presence of Wanda's love.
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The Most Innocent Sinner
Dean Winchester Masterlist
Summary: For everyone, she's the shy, pure, little Y/n. Dating Dean Winchester is like going on dates with the complete opposite of her. So it is a very nice surprise when Dean learns how kinky she actually is by finding her collection of sex toys.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x F!Reader
Rating: 18+
Content warning: Sex toys, masturbation (male and female), dirty talk
Square filled: Dildos for @spnkinkevents / “Now that’s something you definitely shouldn’t try at home.” for @jacklesversebingo / masturbation for @anyfandomkinkbingo / “Unfortunately, I’m turned on by that.” for @anyfandomgoesbingo
A/n: Finding a title is so hard. I got stuck on this one for way too long. Big thanks to my friends that helped me!
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From the outside, Y/n looked like a Saint. Cute, she wasn't very tall and almost sickly shy, and her social anxiety didn't help her case at all. 
Since she didn’t have many friends, Y/n spent her time at the library surrounded by stories that made her forget how alone she felt. The characters on these yellowed sheets would never judge or criticize her, it was a comfort in which she really liked to immerse herself, especially after a hard day.
It was also where she met the Winchester brothers for the first time.
For someone like Y/n, the complete opposite of popular, invisible to people even when she was in the same room with them, the Winchesters were the pinnacle of perfection. Bodies built like gods, well-defined faces, piercing eyes, they gave off a strong and dominating aura that attracted the gaze of everyone in their path. And Y/n was no exception.
The moment the two brothers walked near her table at the library, there was no longer any need to read. Her book closed by itself in front of her, as she no longer held it open, her eyes fixedly stuck on the two men. Following their directions with her gaze, she turned her head, almost hurting her neck.
The colors around her suddenly seemed more vivid. The sounds, sweeter to the ear. She strained her ear to better listen to their conversations. And it was then that the stories she loved reading so much... Became reality.
Y/n had always had a habit of making herself fade away. Not wanting to attract attention, remaining discreet and making herself as small as possible. But the moment she saw them, it was like a light bulb went on inside her, and filled her with a life she had never really felt. And she decided to change that.
She didn’t want to hide anymore.
It was an adventure awaiting her, just like in her books. Filled with villains, monsters, but also angels, laughter, food and finally, a place where she belonged. It didn't take long for her to take part in their lives, quickly becoming a full member of their families. Although she wasn’t trained to be in the field hunting monsters, her lifelong experience of extensive reading was too vital and important to refuse her help.
Initially, Y/n was assigned to research. It was perfect for her, she could show them how efficient she was at this task so they would give her more to do eventually. Quickly, she climbed the ranks in the Winchesters' trust and became closer to them.
Everything about her personality was perfect to fit with Sam's. And yet, as the months stretched into years, she inevitably grew closer to Dean. Some will say that opposites flock together, and they are not wrong. Dean was the opposite of Y/n, stubborn, he didn't hesitate to say what was on his mind and loved seeing the adorable expression that invaded her face when he made inappropriate or worse, sexual comments. Immediately, Y/n would disappear from the room almost like magic, or she would become so embarrassed that he took pity and immediately changed the subject.
Y/n had a purity that Dean never had, and it was one of the reasons why even after all this time knowing her, he was still reluctant to let her come with them on hunts. Or even to involve her in anything that could endanger her or defile this purity. If he could keep her from losing that sparkle in her eyes, he would, no matter the cost.
After a few months of dating, Y/n finally agreed to live in the bunker with them. Dean helped her move in, putting her things in a room other than his, and although not sharing the same bed disappointed him a little, he understood why. She wasn't ready, and he insisted on her comfort. He was willing to wait for her as long as it took.
“If I had known you had that many boxes, I would have brought in extra hands,” Dean huffed, placing yet another heavy box on the ground. Straightening up, he raised his arms above his head to stretch his back.
“Sorry, all my books,” Y/n shrugged and lowered her head, embarrassed.
With a quick wave of his hand, Dean signaled that it was nothing. “It only takes a little longer but it’s no problem,” he quickly said to reassure her, so she wouldn’t feel bad about having so much stuff. After all this time knowing her, he knew how important her books were to her.
Her 500 books which weighed bricks to transport…
“I'll go get another box,” she accepted Dean's answer and as she passed him on her way out, left a quick kiss on the cheek. It was Dean's turn to react, his face quickly turning red.
“Okay, in the meantime, I'm going to start…” Glancing at the mountain of cardboard, Dean sighed again. “Cleaning a little…”
Sam wasn't there. Although he proposed his help for moving her stuff in, Dean's ego was more powerful. As a boyfriend, he had to take care of his girlfriend himself. Without help. Showing her that he was there for her, and that she would always be his priority.
Dean had been in several relationships in the past. And he loved each woman with all of his soul. But each time, his work, his family or the apocalypse had forced him to leave. It had been a very difficult task each time, but he had done it.
Just the thought of leaving Y/n had the same effect as losing a limb. It was unthinkable.
Ah shit. He was in love.
Him, in love?
It was the first time.
… Wait a minute.
He was in love with her.
This realization hit him harder than he expected. Dean took a few steps back, his head spinning quickly. He was in love. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Never in his entire life had he felt this kind of thing for someone, feelings so strong, so true. When they were together, he felt so good, like he had finally found the thing he was missing. The person he needed.
Dean took another step back, and inevitably, his legs encountered a box. He lost his balance and, trying not to cause a landslide, had to hold himself against the nearest thing… Another box.
This one was strangely and unfortunately lighter than the others and failed to stop him from doing damage. Luckily, Dean kept his balance and avoided the embarrassment of falling on his butt, but the box fell to the ground.
“Son of a bitch,” he grumbled as he hurried to pick it up. As he took it, he noticed that it was not closed properly. It was definitely not his plan to go through Y/n's personal belongings, but when he opened the box to close it better, he couldn't help but see what was inside.
And it wasn't his fault. The first item on top was a box that displayed the inscription of its contents, and his curiosity, well… took care of the rest.
“What the…” taking the item in question, Dean examined it. His hunter's eye detected every detail, inscriptions, the wear on the cardboard and even the place where the packaging had once been sealed before opening. The sticky paper seemed to have been removed so quickly, the color of the cardboard remained stuck on it. It was exactly as if its owner, eager to have the object, hadn’t been concerned by the breakage of its packaging.
SO. It was still possible that the contents were not what was written in black and white on the packaging. It was still a possibility. Dean understood, it was his duty to get to the bottom of it once and for all. Otherwise, the question would haunt him for the rest of his life.
Heart racing for no good reason, Dean placed his fingers where the paper was torn off and pulled the tab. Then, breathless, he opened the box and peered inside.
“Son of a bitch,” his mouth breathed along with the last of his oxygen. No... he couldn't believe it. As if he needed further proof that his eyes had already given him, Dean reached into the box and pulled out the object.
It was still in its bag, but an opening proved its frequent use. Both soft and very hard, it was of regular size and of a pretty pink shade. Dean didn't need to take it out of the bag to know that underneath was the little hole to get charged, the wire still in the box.
In his hand, Dean held the thing he never thought he would hold… Let alone find among his girlfriend's stuff. The sweet, pure, shy Y/n.
Scared that she would come back and see him like this, Dean quickly put the pink dildo vibrator back in its box. A thousand questions swirled through his mind and his heart still hadn't stopped pounding in his ribcage. In his eagerness and nervousness, Dean almost dropped the box, so he had to pull himself together to put it back exactly where he had found it.
And that was when he saw them.
There were plenty of them. A dozen even. Some had their original packaging, others had boxes without inscription. Curiosity rose in Dean who forgot the presence of his girlfriend and owner of these toys in the bunker. It was like suddenly he was alone in the world as he began to pull out everything he had in front of his eyes, his pupils dilating with each new discovery.
Small portable vibrator. One that looked like a butterfly, insertable and vibrant. A… dolphin? A flesh-colored dildo, including ball and base with suction. A magic staff. Purple, pink, black, the colors were added one after the other. And then suddenly...
Dean came across the largest box.
It was curiously and surprisingly big for what was inside. Dean couldn't help it. It was heavy, there was no doubt about the contents, but he had to see it with his eyes, hold it in his hands, and absorb reality.
It couldn't be that big... right?
And oh my god.
“Now that’s something you definitely shouldn’t try at home…”
Examining it from every angle, he still couldn't understand. The words “bad dragon” were forever imprinted in his brain along with the image of that purple and blue hued dildo. It was imposing, as tall as it was wide, and the different textures were strange but pleasant to the touch. And inevitably, his brain went in that perverse direction he imagined...
Her moans filled the room and the echo was carried throughout the whole bunker. Sounds of pleasure? No. Of frustration. She moaned as she tried as best she could to get the dildo into her entrance, which was still too tight for such a monster. But her determination only grew with her goal, and the idea alone of being able to have all those inches inside her was so exciting that she almost didn't need any lube.
“Oh fuck,” breathed through her lips as the head of the toy finally pierced the breach. Her head tilting back, she wiggled on the dildo to widen her entrance to accommodate the rest. Kneeling over the toy made it easier for her to maneuver her body and part her lips for guidance. And when finally the dildo was inside her, a long sigh of relief mixed with the pleasure of having succeeded hissed between her lips.
“I love the view…”
Dean hadn't missed a single thing. Standing in the doorway, he watched, admired, and nourished himself with the magnificent view before him. Kneeling on the bed facing him, she knew he was there. Even though her eyes were closed, she felt his presence, heard his heavy breathing. And then there was the rustling of his clothes every time he adjusted his position or reached for his swollen crotch.
It was one of the hottest things she had ever experienced. The desire was so strong it was palpable. The smell of sex filled the room. A moan passed her lips as she opened her eyes to look at him, her breath leaving her lungs, making the air almost unbreathable because it was so saturated.
"Oh. No."
The sound of a heavy object hitting the ground brought him back to consciousness. Then it took him several seconds to realize the voice that had spoken just before the impact, what it had said and who it belonged to. Turning towards the door, Dean's eyes were wide open, the green almost disappearing from his irises because his pupils were so dilated.
Her face was not in any better condition. As her eyes, wide with fear and shame, moved between what he was holding and the box behind him and finally settling on him, Dean could see the embarrassment quickly filling her being.
“What is this?”
Still shocked by his discovery and what it implied, these words were the first and only ones that had managed to escape his lips. Obviously, he knew what it was, and what it was for. However, he needed to hear it from her mouth. To confirm what his eyes had already understood.
His question only made her more uncomfortable.
“You weren’t supposed to see that,” she muttered under her breath, lowering her head and crossing the distance between them to grab the dildo and remove it from the hunter’s hands. All this to hide the evidence that had already been consumed, unfortunately. “Please, forget about it,” she pleaded, still refusing to meet his gaze. Her hand resting next to Dean's on the dildo, she tried to take it back, but was surprised to see that he didn't want to let it go. “Dean?”
“It’s impossible,” his voice was low, almost a breath lost in the tension of the air. “Unfortunately… I’m turned on by that. And here I thought you were all pure and shy…” Taking a pause in his words only made the state Y/n was in worse. Next to Dean, she felt his breath against her cheek, and the heat of his body. It was heavy, his chest moving in time with his harsh breathing. As if he had to do everything to hold back. “I waited for you to be ready, and I'll still wait but… Y/n…” As she still refused to raise her head and meet his gaze, Dean took his other hand, the one that wasn't holding the dildo, to gently lift Y/n’s chin. “Thinking about you touching yourself with that… oh fuck, it’s hot, sweetheart.”
“Yeah?” A shy smile appeared on her lips, her eyes watering at how she was embarrassed but still... Very excited by this idea.
“Oh yeah,” Dean swallowed, his green eyes darting from Y/n's lips to her eyes, then back to her lips. Like two magnets held too far apart, but at the same time too close, it was inevitable.
Dean pressed his mouth to Y/n’s, kissing her forcefully. The dildo was quickly put aside, both needing their hands to touch the other. Dean placed his on Y/n's waist, and her around his neck. Her nails scratched the soft part of his neck, leaving red marks he would never see. It was intense, they almost devoured each other with an insatiable appetite. Opening her lips, Y/n stuck her tongue out barely, just enough to give access to Dean who was quick to push his tongue into her mouth. The kiss became languorous, messy, even, and Y/n backed into a box and almost fell. Dean broke the kiss to ask if she was okay, but she silenced him by replacing her lips on his to continue the kiss.
Their mouths didn't leave each other as clothes flew around the room, some getting stuck on boxes while others fell to the floor. Eventually, they managed to maneuver through the mountains of boxes to get to the bed. Y/n plopped down on the mattress and laughed against Dean’s mouth which only took a second to find its way back to hers. Now both were shirtless and their hands explored each other without stopping.
Finally, Y/n broke the kiss to speak.
“I want you to watch me.”
“What?” Dean was panting, his erection so painful in his pants he was afraid it would explode at the slightest touch. Like a hungry lion demanding its prey, he tried to grab Y/n's lips but she refused him access by placing her fingers between them.
“I want you to watch me use the toy…” If she was an angel a few moments ago, the Y/n he had, lying under him on the bed, half naked, was a little devil hidden under the appearance of a Saint.
Just the thought of seeing her in real life masturbating with the monster he had found made Dean gulp and push himself up so he was on his knees. His face was so red, he had trouble understanding how there could still be blood in his length.
“Are you sure? I mean, I… I can’t say no to that, fuck, but… I don’t want you to feel forced or…”
“Dean,” she interrupted, a smile tugging at her lips. “I really want to. And I know you want it too.” Y/n took a deep, slightly shaky breath before continuing. “So… Bring me the one you want me to use… And get comfortable.”
Dean swallowed and looked at his girlfriend's face. Since he had known her, they had never been this far in their intimacy. And he would never have imagined that she had this in her. Obviously he was surprised, but it was a very pleasant surprise. Like an excited child on Christmas morning, Dean rushed to the box of adult toys and once again admired all the choices presented to him. Each of them infused an image, each more erotic than the other, into his mind. For a moment, he hesitated to take the monster he had found shortly before, but decided that for now, this view was better in his mind. And he didn't want to embarrass Y/n even more than she was, what she was proposing was very intimate, very sexy, but also terribly hard to do. To open up like this, to show yourself like this...
Dean returned to his girlfriend, a box in hand. “This one,” he held out the box, knowing full well what it contained. Y/n took it, hesitated for a few seconds while staring at it in her hands. Just as Dean was about to repeat that she didn't have to, that they could continue to just makeout and that was okay, she opened the box and took out the toy.
It was a simple one. No vibration, just a flesh colored dildo with suction at the bottom. It wasn’t the biggest she owned, but it was still big, almost as big as Dean’s cock. So to see her use this, he could easily picture him in her…
Just the thought sent another wave of arousal down his pants.
“Do you need a moment, or lube or…” Dean was still standing up near the bed as she was on her knees on the mattress. For the first time, he was clueless and didn't know what to do. And yet, it was not his first time, nor the last, that he had more kinky moments with his partner. But Y/n was different, she wasn't just his sexual partner, but the woman he loved. And the prospect of getting even closer and more intimate was worth more than any sex he could have.
“I want you to watch the whole thing,” Y/n replied, lifting her ass off the mattress just enough to undo her pants and pull them down along with her panties with just one hand. In an almost expert manner, she finished undressing herself with one hand, her other never letting go of the toy. “You can sit down, you know,” she laughed when she saw Dean still standing where he was, stiff as a stick.
“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” he sat on the edge of the bed and turned his body towards her. It was like he was back at 15 with the most popular girl in school, ready for his first time. Nervousness filled his entire being, along with excitement, and if he wasn't so experienced years later, his erection would have disappeared or he would have come prematurely in his pants.
Dean silently thanked all the girls he had in the past that strengthened his stamina.
“How do you want me to use it?” 
Dean could see how nervous she was. It was the first time she was completely naked in front of him, and her body was shaking ever so slightly, shivers that covered her soft skin in goosebumps. But yet, through that nervousness, she was freaking sexy. Still kneeling, she was slowly stroking her intimacy with the toy, coating it with her wetness. And without asking, Dean knew she wouldn’t need any lube.
“Just… Like this, you can ride it…” The words got out of his mouth by automatism. Truth was, Dean was half there now, so excited and focused on her, a part of his mind was shut down. It was so hot, he couldn’t detach his eyes from her body, the way the toy rubbed through her lower lips, how her hips rocked back on it, and her face, so soft, so cute, so embarrassed… With eyes burning in a strong passion.
“Okay,” she whispered. Time seemed to slow down. Dean could feel his heart beating in his head and in his crotch, the intensity growing with each movement she made. Straightening up, she placed the dildo behind her, careful to align it with her entrance, and opened up her legs to let Dean continue watching. 
And he could see it all.
It was better than everything he could ever imagine.
The toy was big, but she was probably very wet and very used to it, because it didn’t take long for her to lower down on it. Inch by inch, the dildo disappeared into her entrance until it was almost completely gone. Her body was bent back, her chest glistening with sweat and the cutest moan left her lips.
“Fuck,” Dean groaned. It was too much, so he rushed to open his pants, just enough to free his aching cock. The simple touch sent thousands of electrical shocks of pleasure through his body, but still, his eyes were fixed on her. “You’re so hot, I don’t think I’ll last long,” he held the base of his cock stronger to avoid his climax.
“I don’t think I’ll last long either,” she whimpered. She had started moving already, slowly, up and down on the toy. Since she was on the bed, the succion was useless and she had to hold it with one hand. Dean could see how wet she was on the dildo, and imagined how warm it had to be inside.
Another groan whistled through his teeth.
“Hmmm,” she moaned, picking up speed. “It feels so good… Dean… Look at me…”
He didn’t notice, but his gaze was so focused on the toy and her pussy, he didn’t even look at her face. Blinking hard, he looked up, and when he saw her face, twisted in pleasure, he couldn’t help it.
His hand started moving on his cock at the same rhythm as her.
“Can’t wait to be inside of you,” Dean muttered through his rashing breath. “Must feel so warm in there, and you’re so wet, fuck, sweetheart, you’re killing me.”
As an answer, she moaned and closed her eyes for a second. But quickly, she set her gaze on him again, even if it had to be the most embarrassing thing she ever did. She wanted to watch him watch her, watch him stroke his cock, watch him cum with her. “Soon… I promise, soon, you’ll have me, you’ll fuck me as much as you want, whenever you want… I'm ah... All yours, Dean..."
"Y/n." Dean could only say that. Again and again, moaning her name as she continued moving on the toy. "Y/n..."
"Dean, I’m gonna cum, oh my god, I’m…”
It was stronger than her. Never before did she come with only a dildo in her, it always took her hands or a vibrator on her clit to reach the end. But right now, in front of her boyfriend masturbating with her, it was too much. It felt so good. 
In an explosion of pleasure, her orgasm ripped through her in a scream. She closed her eyes, her body shaking, her wetness flooding under her and on her bed. But she so didn’t care about this right now.
It took a few moments for her to regain her hearing back, and a few more moments to open her eyes. It was strong, and she suddenly felt so tired, like the world came crashing back on her. Feeling like she could sleep for a whole day without waking up.
Y/n landed her eyes on the man in front of her. Dean had his head bent back, eyes closed, mouth parted. Lower, his cock was still a bit hard, and his release was covering his hand.
“Oh,” she said sadly, realizing she didn’t see him cum. At least, they came together.
“Oh,” Dean repeated, finally opening his eyes to land them on her. “That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen and done,” he admitted, a silly smile filling up his face. So he was too, drunk on pleasure.
“Yeah,” she admitted, feeling her face flush with embarrassment. Wow. They did it. They actually did it. Her joy, thought, left her face quickly as she realized something. “Fuck.”
“What is it?” Dean immediately went on protective boyfriend mode when he heard the change in her voice.
“I think I…” Y/n’s voice was small, so small and shy as she lifted herself from the spot she was in, removing carefully the dildo from her, and looked at the mess she made. “It never happened before, but now my bed… I don’t think I can use it anymore… Oh no…”
“Sweetheart,” Dean rushed to her side, quickly putting himself back in his pants even if he was messy with his release as well. “It’s alright. There’s plenty of other room in the bunker, with other beds.”
“But,” she stammered, her gaze looking down at her hands. “What if I want to… Use your bed, with you?” 
Y/n ended up looking up at him, their gaze meeting.
A soft kiss on her lips answered her question, and all of her insecurities washed away.
“My bed is yours, sweetheart. We can always use this room for your books, I’ll ask Sam to help building shelves and-”
Another kiss, this time, more powerful, interrupted his sentence. “God, I love you so much.”
Babum.
The words he never said back before.
Dean thought they would be hard to say. Impossible, even. But he surprised himself with how easy it actually was.
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
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