#but the absence of cas is obvious

[ppersonalsspace]

Wait… ok. So other than the lack of Cas.

Do people hate season 7 because of Sam’s sideburns?

That’s gotta be it, right?

Those suckers are fucking DISTRACTING.

#spn question #spn #supernatural #sam winchester #samchops #spn s7 #spn season 7 #I genuinely love season 7 #dick roman is such a fun bad guy for me #castiel #i do miss cas obviously #but the absence of cas is obvious #the devil in the destiel

[konekoling]

Hi hello since the states are gonna get blasted with cold soon I figured I'd shave some Helpful Cold Survival Advice I've absorbed as someone who lives in an area that hits -50C/-58F temperatures periodically

-Starting with a somewhat obvious one, but HOLY SHIT DO NOT BRING BARBECUES, GENERATORS, OR ANY OTHER FORM OF OUTDOOR HEAT SOURCE INSIDE FOR WARMTH. CO poisoning WILL kill you if you don't accidentally start a fire in the process.

-If you wanna stay in your car and turn the heat up for warmth DO NOT do it in the garage. Again. CO poisoning.

-You can turn up your stove/ oven and crack the oven door open in an emergency if you have zero other heat sources available, but only if its electric (Gas stoves will generate carbon mono...yeah you get it already), and even then its going to be much less energy efficient than a normal space heater, and you're gonna want to stay nearby while it's on to make sure you don't start a fire.

-Don't plug a space heater into a power bar or extention cord unless you're 100% sure it has a high quality cord. They need an absurd amount of power to run, and most extention cords in particular aren't insulated enough to handle those levels of power without becoming a fire hazard. And for the love of God, don't run multiple heaters on one power bar.

-Candles don't actually do much to generate heat unless you're ina very small area, but they ARE an excellent light source should power go out

- tragically, the best way to keep warm in the absence of home heating is through boring ol layering, especially on your feet and head. Avoid jeans, as they're somehow terrible at heat retention despite how thick they are, and throw on a pair of long underwear/leggings if you have some. Also feel free to pile as many blankets as you own on top of yourself, you deserve it.

-Youre gonna want to stay well fed, too. Keeping your body temperature up in the cold is pretty calorically demanding, AND the digestive process tends to heat your body up as well. Its a win/win.

-Also unfortunate: another excellent way to stay warm is through your enemy and mine, physical activity. Every half hour or so, pace around your living space to get the ol blood pumping a bit.

-If you get wet outside while it's substantially cold out, get inside as soon as possible bc that WILL suck the heat from your body. This goes for sweat too, so layer responsibly if you're out shoveling

-Electric blankets are a scam, don't buy them.

-heating pads and heated mattress covers are less of a scam, but don't fall asleep with them on bc once again, fire hazard.

-If you have any faucets in your house that don't see a lot of use/you live somewhere that doesn't usually see cold weather, keep all your faucets on just a bit so your pipes don't freeze and/or explode. This WILL cost thousands of dollars to fix.

-Likewise, if you're traveling for the holidays see if you can have someone come by to turn the faucets on every day or two so you don't come home to find your house sunk into the ground

-ALSO if you're traveling and think "hm, I think I'll turn off the heat while I'm out to save some money that is the devil speaking, do NOT listen. (Heating helps keep the pipes warm and unfrozen)

-Fill your bathtub up with water and/or stock up on bottled water if you're gonna be getting unusually cold temperatures in case your pipes DO freeze, since you're probably not gonna want to hit up the store should this occur

-Stay off the roads if you can help it. Turbocold weather makes cars periodically fail to start, and also the second snow touches the ground people somehow forget how to drive.

-IMO If it's below -38C before windchill, you have a substantial commute, and you have any PTO/can afford to miss a shift at work, don't bother going in. Just lie and say your car wouldn't start.

-If you absolutely need to go to work/go out for whatever reason, take public transit if possible. If thats not possible, keep some blankets, food, candles, and a lighter in your car in case the battery dies on the road so you can stay toasty and Alive until help arrives.

Probably gonna add more as I remember it, but thems the basics! Stay warm!

[castiellesbian]

It's just such an obvious plotline that Supernatural managed to just scoot by. They knew they were never going to pull off Dean settling with anyone other than Cas. But the absence is so obvious it feels like admitting it anyway.

[autisticandroids]

anyway the thing about sam pov on toxic destiel is like. okay. list of things sam sees from the outside:

i think sam HAS to know that cas has a crush on dean. that seems too obvious not to have at least crossed his mind, and once you think of it it has a lot of explanatory power for cas' actions. sam might frame it in his head as cas is/was obsessed with dean but acknowledge that that has gay/crush-y undertones

this gets crazier the longer cas stayed dead after despair. like if he was dead a couple weeks it's a little like he wasn't gone at all but if our timeframe stretches to months or years that's a lot more time for dean's personhood to narrow down to the single point of "get cas back." which will affect both dean and cas' relationship when he is back and sam's perception of it

don't think sam really has an idea of dean having any feelings for cas. dean's feelings for cas are generally a private experience requiring significant interpretation so sam would not see them. he would just think of cas as dean's best friend

rest under a cut because good lord.

thinking about what sam has seen over the course of the show... he has missed a lot of crucial destiel moments both in terms of affection and also perhaps more pertinently in terms of conflict. like, i love to pull on the thread of the fact that he doesn't know dean kicked cas out of the bunker in i'm no angel, but like he also doesn't know the divorce arc happened. almost every emotionally significant moment between dean and cas has been totally private

so like what has sam perceived, really? well okay. chronological order: cas' behavior in the godstiel arc: cas perhaps being a little obsessed with dean, and definitely having a huge capacity to get his feelings hurt by turbulence in their relationship (with attendant capacity to lash out: sam is dean's bunny and cas will boil him if need be). additionally, in the godstiel arc cas proves himself to be like. extremely lovehungry, in general. next, dean being crazy post purgatory, which sam may or may not have picked up on as related to cas. next, cas defending dean and trying to repair the brothers' relationship in first born. this is something that sam would mostly probably have processed as deeply hurtful to him (sam) at the time, but in retrospect might see differently, especially with respect to the next incident he saw, stairway to heaven, in which cas proves very publicly that dean can do anything he wants to cas and cas will forgive him instantly. it seems like in season ten, see: soul survivor, cas might do some similar go-between buffer shit as in first born? it's less explicitly present on screen but i think the evidence of soul survivor plus cas' behavior in the back half of season nine is enough to speculate that season ten was a lot of that. we don't know how much sam saw in the aftermath of the prisoner; we know he mopped up the blood in a deleted scene but whether cas was still lying there when he came in is up to headcanon. i like both interpretations and haven't really picked one. in season eleven sam would have seen dean mother henning depressioncas and then freaking out over casifer. i don't know what he would have made of those but i do think it would strengthen his idea of the significance of their relationship. next thing he sees is stuck in the middle with you which is like. yeah if sam has been sitting on a hypothesis that cas has a crush on dean that's proof. then he would see the widower arc happen and see how losing cas really wrecked dean and getting him back totally fixed him. then i guess... cas' inability to recognize that he was truly on the outs with dean in absence? cas protecting jack by lying for him pre-absence, and cas standing up to dean for jack's sake in jack in the box/moriah. all of which would put sam in a complex emotional position because like. okay. cas trying to fix things in absence is from sam's perspective obviously foolish. cas trying to protect jack in jack in the box/moriah is also obviously foolish to sam because sam believes that resisting dean is an unwinnable battle but then like... cas kind of succeeds a little? and is definitely in the right. which is going to fuck up sam's head. he's not going to be sure what to do with that. and then cas hiding jack's soullessness pre-absence is going to fuck up sam's idea that cas is too dumb to know better than to behave this way. anyway the end of s14 is going to shake up sam's idea of cas and cas' relation to dean and cas' relation to sam a lot. and then dean's freakout post-despair. that's the evidence sam is working with to perceive cas and dean's dynamic

so the empty rescue goes like this: after the several-months timespan of inherit the earth, once the world is fixed, a year and a bit go by where first dean seems to be in a deep, silent depression and goes days without speaking to sam. and then sam realizes that dean has started researching how to get cas back in between bouts of drinking himself to sleep. sam offers help and is aggressively rebuffed. sam moves on with his life a little for a while, then is finally recruited into dean's obsession and brought into the research and rescue attempts. and eventually it works! after a year or so, cas is stumbling out of a gooey portal on the basement wall and collapsing on the floor

and dean is picking him up bridal style and carrying him to the room they prepared, and sam is just standing there watching this happen

for the next several weeks cas is convalescing in bed and dean is like. he's in there. he's in there all the time. sam knocks on the door once and dean blocks him from even seeing cas through the doorway. he's like. he's gotten territorial

cas is still an angel but he's functionally human for now, it could be months or even years before his grace replenishes enough that he doesn't have to eat or sleep you know

anyway. eventually cas is up and about. and sam sees him. occasionally. but he's still basically convalescent and dean is basically standing over his bed like a guard dog

at some point dean walks into the kitchen where sam is eating his cereal, announces "so me and cas are together now," and just walks back out again, leaving sam to just stare after him

break here because i got character limited. anyway.

the thing about this is that sam would parse this as. the thing is that the information dean has just given sam, as sam understands it, is "i have been in the closet for four decades." like dean has now recontextualized his entire life in sam's eyes. because sam now knows that dean has been In The Closet. sam right now is thinking back over shit like nick the siren and the whole benny debacle and being like. well. and like i think sam might assume that dean is gay? the thing about dean is that like. at this point it's been like six years since dean has hooked up with a woman. sam is still hooking up and having girlfriends but the one and only time dean had a long term relationship with a woman it was *checks notes* lisa. canonically, before lisa, dean had never had a relationship last longer than two months, and after lisa it's pretty much crickets. anyway salmondean are NOT going to have the "are you gay or bi?" conversation and in fact they will probably never, ever again have a conversation on the topic of sexuality. and so sam is just gonna sit there and stew in like, his own pity for dean, and his genuine recognition of the tragedy of dean's situation. like sam is also extremely aware of toxic masculinity and the way dean has struggled with it. he has frequently been the target of dean's toxically masculine bullying, but the thing about sam is he prides himself on not buying into his father and brother's toxic ideas (not totally true, but sam believes it), so the bullying mostly annoys him or rolls off him, but as part of his defense mechanisms against it, he already pities dean because dean buys into what sam recognizes as a toxic and bad system, and sam has to believe he (sam) is better than that in order to not be affected by the ways in which he (sam) is not suited for that system, so he has to look down on dean for buying in, in order to function himself. to be clear i think this is like a perfectly reasonable set of justifications one is inclined to generate if one is living with someone who is mean to one. it's like very much the "he can't help it he doesn't know better." which is i think sam's go to, for justifying the bad behavior of those around him. except with cas it's like "he's too Autism to know better" and with dean it's like "he's too Bamboozled By Our Father to know better." so sam is definitely reacting to dean with pity. but also dean's situation is genuinely tragic (deeply toxically masculine man takes forty years to finally stick one toe out of closet) so sam is very much processing that. and he's kind of in the back of his mind processing it For dean because dean is not visibly processing it at all, but sam knows that the processing must be Happening somewhere

sam never ever ever talks to dean about his relationship with cas. like. sam's not dumb enough to bring it up because he would get his ass kicked

he would ask cas about it though

okay so sidetrack. we have to talk about where cas is at. emotionally. because the thing about this situation is it's like simultaneously great and horrible. for cas. and cas being cas is going to plug his ears to the horrible stuff and only think about the good stuff. the thing about cas in this situation is that like. he's grieving jack. like he is knowingly grieving jack. and missing him. like if dean is resurrecting cas post despair, like. jack is functionally dead, at that point. like godjack is deadjack as far as cas is concerned. so cas is absolutely destroyed about that. and he's also terrified that his grief will be found out. and he also has a lot of background anxieties that kind of come from shit he's repressing. like, deep down, way under the hood, he's ashamed of the divided loyalties. he's ashamed that he has chosen dean over jack in the past, he's ashamed that he is currently right now in some way choosing dean over jack. he feels guilty that jack might in some way be out there and in need of his help and not actually functionally dead after all. and he is unable to deal with the idea that he could miss jack even when he has dean, like he can't deal with the idea that his world can be more than one other person to mold himself around. deepest of all he is so, so angry at dean (and sam!) for what they've done to jack, both in the context of letting jack become god and things before. but cas can't really process or acknowledge any of that. and so he just processes it as a vague miasma of anxiety. like it's very kleinian; cas feels this anger deep down at dean but he represses it and the anger is still there but the only way to see it is cas' like. fear of reciprocal anger. like he's so afraid all the time, and the reason he's afraid is that he's aware that he's angry on some level and he's afraid that dean is also aware of his anger and is mad at him in return. obviously none of this is conscious cas is just kind of anxious for no reason as far as he knows. plus it feeds into cas' anxiety re: he has dean now, and he has nothing else. like he has something to lose, but it's also The Only Thing, so he's clinging for dear life, which is a very anxious position to be in. but crucially cas is trying very hard to plug his ears and shout LALALALALALA to all the bad things and only pay attention to how happy it makes him to finally Have dean. anyway that's cas' emotional state during this fic

anyway from the outside, what sam sees is a cas who is like. quieter than usual, more subdued, but who absolutely lights up when dean comes up. like, from cas' end, dean is his one Safe Topic. dean and his current romantic relationship with dean is one of the few things he can really contemplate without hitting landmines. so from the outside cas would absolutely blossom when asked about dean

another government mandated break here.

oh it's also crucial that sam really doesn't see like. he doesn't understand about jack at all. like he can't really acknowledge the grief and guilt cas should be feeling (and doesn't, from the outside, seem to be), because like, if cas is on the hook for how dean treated jack, sam is really on the hook for how dean treated jack. like sam doesn't really see cas as More Jack's Dad than he is, and if sam is as much responsible for jack as cas is, then sam is doing a much worse job. and if godjack is a kind of death for jack, then that is absolutely sam's fault as well. so sam can't really like. use his logic to work out that cas is probably hiding some feelings about jack, because he can't acknowledge a lot of stuff going on

also like in sam's mind cas kind of won because he's been in love with dean for years? like sam has known about that. and sam understands cas as deeply lovehungry (to potentially a dangerous degree. remember when dean and cas had a breakup and cas lashed out by letting all of sam's hell trauma out of the box and into his brain?) and having been obsessed with dean for years and so kind of having like... won a war of attrition for dean's affection. like cas was so doggedly in love with dean that dean finally decided to accept him

anyway so cas is the person sam can ask about their relationship. and he is curious. and cas definitely gets all sunshiney about it and gives sam a very rose tinted account of things. this is partly because of all the issues enumerated earlier and partly because of like, a power dynamic that cas sees and sam doesn't where sam kind of outranks cas? and cas definitely feels like anything he says will be reported to dean. so he's definitely anxious to give sam a positive impression. this is also related to cas repressing shit, namely all the resentment built up over the years due to how horrendously dean has treated him. like cas cannot acknowledge it in any way but deep down, it's there, and that's another anxiety inducing thing, like the anger about jack. so cas has this nebulous fear of punishment that he can't name or really even acknowledge if he isn't the most grateful possible about how dean is soooo good to him and they're sooo in love. and so that's the face he shows to sam

that's all i've got so far?

#spn

[theshelbyclan]

Hi! So maybe a little random but you mentioned before something about writing for Enola Holmes and could you maybe just write me a short piece with Enola and Sherlock and maybe him tickling her? I really love how well you write the wholesome family stuff 😊😊

Hi! I wasn’t sure whether or not I’d be the right one to write this one, but a decided to try it anyways, because who can refuse such fluff? Just before I do, maybe check out @astheskycries (I hope you don’t mind me tagging you) for more very similar to what you asked for. Or @cas-kingdom for all the Henry inspired fluff? Hope I did your idea some justice after all 😊

———

Enola sighed deeply, “I already told you, I know I’m right.”

“Clearly not,” Sherlock answered swiftly.

“If he really had been away for two weeks, then why would he not have left his dog with the landlady, as he always does? Explain that to me, my genius brother!”

“Because,” Sherlock took a deep breath and tried his best to keep his face in check. In truth, he loved nothing more than playing these deductive games with his little sister. She’d become quite the formidable counter player in his absence. “Because he left suddenly on a Wednesday. His landlady goes to visit her sister on Wednesdays, everyone knows that.”

“But he didn’t leave on a Wednesday!” She pointed an accusing and fiery finger at him, “He left on a Tuesday, hence the curtains.”

He frowned. He hadn’t thought of the curtains yet.

“There’s a flaw in your reasoning,” Enola remarked triumphantly. “There’s something you’ve missed.”

“I have not,” he almost sulked, “It is you who has missed something. Forgotten about the pie already, little sister?”

“Oh, but that’s nothing. That just means his brother came up from the country.” Enola waved a disinterested hand, “It is you who has missed the blatant obvious.”

“Which is?”

“He’s a man who craves adventure. He is a lawyer, as you mentioned, but one who will only take up cases that lead him into danger. He’s in need of money, did you not see the state of his shoes? Still, he takes cases that don’t pay him as well as they should, but he takes those that require him to visit dark alleyways and grubby little pubs. He is, as I said, a ruffian at heart.”

“A ruffian. Really?” Sherlock scoffed.

A smile formed on Enola’s face, “I’m not surprised you missed it, but I of course did not.”

“And why did you not, but you presume that I did?”

“Well, we’re very different, you and I.”

Sherlock sat down and played a few notes on his violin, absentmindedly, “Indeed, we are.”

“I have mother’s disposition, and am more wild of spirit…”

“…which almost got you hanged!”

“whereas you are more like…”

Sherlock’s head shot up, “I sincerely hope you aren’t referring to…”

“Someone we are both very well acquainted with.”

“Enola…” he warned.

“Mycroft.”

Her brother sprang from his chair and called out, “That is a grave insult, young lady!”

Enola let herself fall down in her brother’s chaise longe, “I’m afraid it’s true. You have no appetite for danger nor fun. Just like him.”

“I’m sorry?”

And for a moment, Enola feared she’d actually gone to far and she had really hurt him. She stared at him and waited.

Sherlock looked down, but his expression betrayed no emotion. After a while, he said, “When you were little, you and I used to laugh together at Mycroft’s expense. You often stole his important papers and I’d make up riddles for him to solve, in order to get them back.”

Enola didn’t remember much about her older brothers, but this bit of information did awaken some memories, and she suddenly felt a warmness towards this one in particularly.

“He’d become furious of course and shout and stomp about the house in anger,” he continued. “And sometimes you’d steal my work too…”

“But you never got angry,” she finished. “You would just play with me.”

Sherlock nodded and walked over to his sister, “I did however chase you all around the house and in order to get my work back…”

Enola’s eyes widened.

“I’d do this!” Suddenly he dove down and started tickling Enola. She shrieked and tried to get away, but it was no use. “Sherloooooock!”

“Ah, not so clever now, are we?” he grinned down at the mess of hair and limbs and drilled his thumbs down at her ribs, which had a particular satisfying effect.

“Hahahaha, I, haha, amahah, not, aaah, a child anymohahahare!”

Moving his hands down to her stomach, Sherlock frowned, “Really? I hadn’t noticed. Seems to me you haven’t changed much at all.”

Finally, after what felt like forever, he stopped and Enola breathed heavily, “Neither have you, brother.”

He stood up straight and fixed his waistcoat, back to his nearly impossible to read face, “You used to think I was fun.”

She tried to tame her hair a little, but not with much success, “Alright, maybe you still are.” Because however much her dignity had been hurt in the process, Enola enjoyed her brother like this immensely.

“Unlike Mycroft?”

Enola smirked, “Unlike Mycroft.”

“Good!” Sherlock walked away abruptly, “That’s the fun handled, now for the danger. I have a case and I would appreciate your help with it.”

“Oh?” his sister sprang up expectantly, “And does this involve any dark alleys or seedy pubs?”

“Indeed it does, dear sister,” he smiled over his shoulder, already halfway out the door, “Follow me. The game is afoot!”

#enola holmes #enola x Sherlock #sherlock holmes #sherlock fanfic #sherlock fandom #sherlock imagine #sherlock x sister #henry cavill #tickle fluff #tickle fic

[castielmacleod]

It’s beyond agonising that like. Later spn seasons would have Cas absent for a string of episodes, so the show could do some salmondean case episodes (apparently the core of the show, though my eyes glazed over through most of them). And that in and of itself is whatever, except then the writers would BLAME Cas’ absence from these intentionally Casless episodes on CAS. And so you sit through all these salmondean episodes of middling to poor quality and then the next time you see your beloved side character Castiel, well guess what. Dean is fucking pissed at him for “disappearing” and is given free rein to yell, guilt trip, and act like Cas has to ask his permission to do anything or go anywhere. Never in my life have I seen a show NARRATIVELY PUNISH a regular recurring character for the crime of being recurring. I can’t emphasise enough that Cas was for external reasons deliberately kept out of the episodes that internal characters would then blame him for not being in. It is insanity inducing.

And it’s one more thing that makes it so clear that spn SHOULD have been allowed to naturally evolve into an ensemble show, because frankly it DOESN’T make sense for Cas to just leave sometimes and there is really absolutely nothing conducive about essentially writing him off and into the show multiple times a season just so it can have its precious brothers-only episodes. And I mean Cas is only the most obvious and most heavily punished example of this, but they also did it to Crowley (literally billed as a regular same as Cas through s9-12), Mary (punished horribly for it tbh, by both the narrative and the fans), and Kevin (and he was usually off on the RUN or being held captive or something horrid like that). And the thing is!! Other characters and brothers episodes don’t even have to be mutually exclusive! How devastating would it be, really, if a salmondean centric episode happened to start with “we’re heading out to xyz, bye Cas” and end with “hey everyone, we’re back”???

I just think this show could have been vastly improved if recurring characters could have been treated as like, assets to the storytelling, and not as objects to get out of the way as quickly as possible so the focus can temporarily go back to the brothers. Lol.

#My posts #Castiel #Like lmfao maybe if you literally have to force-function brother centric episodes regardless of how poorly it serves the plot #then your show shouldn’t be or perhaps naturally isn’t “brother centric” #Like can you imagine if say Star Trek pulled this shite #And you had Sisko like “Doctor Bashir you weren’t at your post yesterday and no one could find you and we had a medical emergency!!” #”You didn’t even answer your comm! You can’t just disappear like that!” #“I’m reporting this to Starfleet Medical and believe me they are going to be Pissed!” #And it was just one of Sid’s contractual episodes off #That’s how salmondean treat Cas like literally. Except even worse because Doctor Bashir is employed by an organisation with set duties #And Cas helps salmondean literally out of the goodness of his heart and doesn’t actually need their permission do to ANYTHING. #INCLUDING leave if he wants. But Dean still chews him out like he expects nothing but yes sir in reply #🤷🏾‍♂️ #Sisko would never btw

[missroserose]

Whumptober Day 9: Tossing and Turning

For the fourth time in ten minutes, Sam changes position on his bed.  His problem-solving brain, analytical as ever, insists on going down the checklist. The mattress is practically new, Dean having gone hog-wild with their stolen credit cards when they first moved in (“I’m nesting, Sammy, leave me be”), memory foam that Sam has to admit is comfortable for all that he initially complained of the bed trying to absorb him like an amoeba.  The linens—well, they’re the bunker’s linens, which is to say more serviceable than luxurious, but they beat the hell out of the scratchy motel polyester that’s been de rigeur for most of Sam’s life.  The air is that perfect temperature that the bunker always seems to maintain, just a tad cool, with that slightly dusty recycled smell.  There’s nothing, in other words, that should be causing him trouble.

Nothing except the knowledge that, were he to get up, open his door and walk, the room down the hall would be empty.  Silent, barren, no music playing through headphones or awful Netflix horror movies streaming on a laptop.  Not even any embarrassingly vanilla pornography.  Just silence, and the weight of a deceptively small note in an terribly familiar scrawl:  Sammy let me go.

Sam tosses again, lands on his bad arm, winces as he rolls back onto his spine.  His arm aches from the injury.  His shoulders ache from tension.  His mind, if it could, would probably ache; racing constantly, a hamster in a wheel, never quite getting anywhere.

Sammy let me go.

He squeezes his eyes shut.  He needs to talk to somebody, get out of his head.  He could call someone—it’s late, but hunters keep odd hours—he mentally scrolls through his contact list, discarding name after name.  They’d try to understand, sure…but they wouldn’t.  Nobody really understands he and Dean, who they are to each other—well, nobody human—

Before the idea is even fully-formed, he feels the thought reaching out, a tendril in his mind.  Cas.  His lips form the name, and he almost tries to pull it back—Cas had sounded so worn out, so faded, on the phone earlier.  But…No need to travel, he adds, trying for reassuring.  I just…could use someone to talk to.  If you’re there.

A long silence; Sam wonders if Cas is asleep.  Tries to remember if Cas has ever mentioned sleeping, if Sam’s ever seen him sleep.  Maybe an angel with a fading grace does? He wonders if the topic is covered in any of the bunker's books on angel lore—

I’m here.  Cas’ voice sounds a little faded, ethereal, old yellowed lace brought out of a cupboard.  Is everything all right?

More or less.  Sam hasn’t talked to Cas this way, often.  It feels…intimate, somehow, the line between thought and word blurred.  The thought occurs, an ugly twist in his gut, that maybe Cas and Dean talk this way regularly—they do seem oddly close at times—

Dean prefers the phone.  I suspect he doesn’t like the idea of someone having access to his thoughts.  A pause.  Would you rather I called?

No, Sam thinks, and realizes with a touch of surprise that it’s true.  I left it in the kitchen to charge.  And…it’s nice, having you here.  Less lonely.

Dean’s absence is weighing on all of us.  Sam can almost hear the angelic gravitas that Cas sometimes appends to the most obvious of statements.  He’s occasionally wondered whether Cas is being ironic—not something he would've expected from the angel initially, but especially since his stint as a human, he's picked up something of a deadpan sense of humor—

Before the angel can catch that thought and respond, Sam reaches out more directly.  Where could he have gone, Cas?

If he wanted us to know, presumably he would have informed us.  A hesitation, the pause before placing a toe in a pool of cold water.  Is it possible he simply needed some time to himself?

No. The vehemence behind Sam’s response surprises even him.  No, he wouldn’t leave me like this.

Even temporarily?  The thought is gentle, almost cajoling.  I’ve observed humans taking time alone quite frequently.  Between taking on the Mark and dying and presumably being resurrected, Dean has been through a lot.  It would make sense that he might need to…reset.

Sam hesitates, considering.  Cas’ words make sense, but they're wrong, wrong like a sea urchin shell sitting in his stomach. Wrong like a feedback whine in a guitar solo. Wrong like...Sam winces, redirects his thoughts again. Our whole lives, the only thing he’s wanted is to be near me, he concludes.  If Dean’s running away from me, he isn’t Dean.

You are positing that Dean’s entire identity is based upon his desire for proximity to you.  Cas is definitely sending the thought with an ironic bent this time.  Has it occurred to you that this assumption might be flawed?

Another pause, as Sam lets that sink in.  Any other time, he’d just say “no,” and that would be that.  Not a contradiction, merely a statement of fact.  But here, alone, in the small hours of the morning, alone in the dark of an empty bunker—

Cas?

I’m here.

Sam bites his lip.  What if I drove him away?

Doing what?

I don’t know.  A sharp pain; Sam’s teeth have broken the skin.  But he’s gone.  He’s never asked me to let him go, Cas.  Never wanted to—He takes a breath, notices distantly the way his thoughts are becoming simpler, more childlike.  What if—I did something wrong—or—he finally realized that I’m not good—not clean—

Sam.  Cas’ voice is firm.  I am a being of sound and light.  I have existed since the beginning of Creation, seen vistas and events that your brain could not comprehend. In that time I have been privy to the workings of galaxies, to the voices of infinite creatures in thousands of dimensions.  A pause. And not once, ever, in any dimension, have I seen a world where you could drive Dean away from you.

Sam’s abruptly glad that they’re not speaking aloud; his throat is thick with unshed tears.  Then you understand why I need to find him.

Zachariah was right about you two, Cas sends, though it’s offhand, the mental equivalent of musing aloud.  And then silence, for long enough that Sam nearly drifts off—

I do have a theory.

Adrenaline floods Sam’s veins; he’s suddenly very awake.  What is it? 

It’s…not a happy theory.  A pause, as if the angel is clearing his throat, or gathering his thoughts, or working out how to approach a tricky subject.  Dean died.  This is beyond question.

Yes.  Sam’s questioned a lot about that day, but never that.  The image of Dean laid on the bed, cool and unresponsive and missing, is burned into his mind.  He died.

He took the Mark, and it began to change him.  This is on top of what he endured in Hell, and losing you, and the many other traumatic experiences you two have encountered in your lives.  All of which have had an effect upon his soul.  Another pause.  

What are you saying?  Dread gathers cold between Sam's shoulderblades, in the pit of his stomach—he should look away, shouldn't ask this, but—Dean—

Cas’ wording is careful, almost delicate.  I’m saying, the only thing I can think of that would convince him to leave you—is his love for you.  A beat.  If he knew he was a danger to you.

Sam’s not sure whether the image originates from Cas’ mind or his—Ruby, dark eyes on his, skin parting beneath a razor, bright red against cream.  The perverse pleasure she took in stringing him along, watching him grow desperate.  The fierce, primal joy of taking her, penetrating her, sinking his teeth deep into her flesh, letting the fizzing ecstasy of her blood spread through him as he sheathed his cock deep inside—

He sucks in a breath, forcing his thoughts back to the present.  You think Dean is a demon?

It’s a possibility we should be prepared for.  Cas sounds apologetic.  That you should be prepared for.

Yeah, Sam manages, through the sudden storm of emotions that’re clashing in his chest.  Fear, and anger, and hope, and worry, and—

With iron control borne of long practice, he clamps down on his emotions. Puts only gratitude into the thought. Thanks, Cas, he offers.  I’ll think about it. But I should really get some sleep.

Of course.  Sweet dreams.  And the angel’s presence is gone.

Sam settles back, an image of Dean with black eyes haunting his thoughts.  That big-brother smirk on his face, as if he knows what Sam’s going to do better than Sam does himself.

He tries not to picture himself falling at Dean’s feet in supplication; begging for forgiveness, for punishment, for cleansing.  Tries not to feel Dean’s fingers carding through his hair, the blood running fragrant and warm beneath the thin skin of Dean’s wrists.  Tries not to shiver at the anticipation of all the ways that Dean will make him pay, make him repent, make him deserving—and then, oh yes, then—

Sam turns, and buries his face into the pillow, and imagines.

#whumptober2022 #supernatural #sam winchester #castiel #dean winchester #demon!dean #weirdcest #my writing

[juniwilson]

Let Go | Para

Featuring: Juniper Grimaldi w/ a few folks at her job; mentions of Chris & Atlas Grimaldi, Raj Veerapen, Emma Williams, Luna Zuniga-Smith, Riley Moore, Aldrich Palermo, Thomas Meier & Celeste Barbosa-Meier Location: California Academy of Sciences; San Francisco, CA Time Frame: Noon-ish, Mon. March 20, 2023 Notes: Kinda long-ish, but thank you for reading.

Juniper had been finishing up their lunch when their direct supervisor’s administrative assistant poked his head into the break room.

“Heyy, Juniper, when you’re done with lunch, Renee wants to see you.”

“Oh, okay!” Juniper replied, licking a sandwich crumb from the corner of their mouth. They balled up the parchment paper the sandwich had previously been wrapped in and tossed it in the waste bin, and then, after wiping down where they’d been sitting with a napkin, Juni grabbed their water bottle and left the break room.

For Juniper, things at work were finally feeling more normal, routine again. There hadn’t been the whispers or obvious indicators that she was just being talked about anymore. And while she’d still been away from work during the weekdays here and there, she was hard at work and staying in communication with her team as much as possible. Checking the time, she’d only had about 5 more minutes before her lunch would be over and it’d be time to get back to her coral reef report.

When they reached the aquarium director’s door and knocked, Juni waited for a response and then entered, a friendly smile on their face.

“Close the door and have a seat, Juniper,” Renee said.

The smile they’d entered with died on their lips. With their heart quickly launching into nervous thumps, Juniper did as they were told and took one of the two available seats across from their boss’s desk. Taking in Renee’s grave expression, along with the long stretch of silence after they sat didn’t put their mind anymore at ease.

“Juniper, I know there isn’t any easy way to say this, so I’m going to cut to the chase. We have to let you go, effective today.”

For an uncomfortable length of time, it felt like everything had stopped, including Juniper’s heart. But when she’d visibly reacted, she stammered, “I-I... what?”

Renee sighed and steepled her fingers on the desk. “We know that you work hard and that you love your job, but your frequent absences haven’t gone unnoticed.”

Her throat was starting to feel like it was lined with sandpaper as she whispered, “My absences?”

This time, Renee frowned, “Yes, beginning with Ship-Wrecked. You were granted an exceptional amount of time of leave to go on the show, mostly because of your incredible work ethic, how reliable you were and how little time you were away. But ever since then, you have missed a significant amount of work. The maternity leave was understandable and of course, by law that has nothing to do with your termination. However, you have taken an abnormal amount of time off for vacations, awards shows and other social events. Even this past weekend when you took time off Friday. It’s impacted the efficiency and morale of the research team.”

Every bit of lunch was quickly turning sour in Juniper’s stomach. She wanted to say that she’d only taken a half day off from work last Friday but she kept quiet, her gaze downcast while Renee went on.

“Between us, I love having you here. When you’re here. But there have been complaints and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried before more of those complaints had come. You know that a lot of our ability to educate, research, and maintain what we have here relies on donors. If The Academy were to grant the amount of time off to everyone that they’ve given you over the past year alone, we would have a major problem, and likely lose a lot of our funding.”

Silence stretched between them gain as tears began to well up in Juniper’s eyes. But they fought them as much as they absolutely could, swallowed thickly and finally managed to say, “I understand.”

Frowning again, Renee softened her voice, “Juniper. I’m going to say the thing I’m not supposed to say, which is that I’m sorry. I really, truly am. You’ve had major changes to your life since returning from Ship-Wrecked. Maybe it’s all been a lot more to handle or adjust to than you were actually prepared for. But if in, say, a year or so, you have a better handle on things, reach out to me, alright? Maybe we would be able to have you back. Or if you end up needing a reference to somewhere else... you have my contact information.”

A reference somewhere else didn’t mean much when a job like hers was hard to find, and the job she was aspiring to have would be even harder now that she’d been fired. But Juniper didn’t say anything. She didn’t trust herself not to burst out into tears. Or throw up. The latter was feeling more and more like a possibility the longer she sat there. And after giving a nod to Renee, her now former supervisor returned to a more business-like demeanor and continued telling her about clearing out her desk and seeing HR to collect her final pay. She’d heard it all yet it was sounding distant and underwater.

At some point, Juni had gotten up from the chair and left the office. Their steps were wooden and muscle memory seemed to be the only thing carrying them in the right direction. And when they got back to their desk, an empty box was waiting there. Tears silently spilled down Juniper’s cheeks. They could feel eyes on their back as they picked up the personal items at their work space: framed photos of Chris and themself, of Atlas, and of Eevee. Smaller photos taped to the side of their monitor and pinned to their cubicle walls: group photos with various siblings, a selfie of them, Atlas and Raj at the zoo; Riley, Aldrich, Chris and them at the wedding reception photo booth, a picture of them with Thomas, Celeste and their then newborn twins, and an old group photo with Monterey Bay Aquarium colleagues.

All of the photos went into the box, along with everything else personal at and around their desk: their framed AA and BS diplomas, scuba certification papers, work recognition certificates, a ‘thank you’ card signed by friends at the penguin exhibit, another ‘thank you’ card from a school group they’d given a tour to; a tube of lip balm recently gifted to them from Emma, seashells Luna had given them back on the island, and two small plush animals--a sea otter and a sea horse. The last personal item to be packed was their lab coat, which Juniper had tugged off at the sleeves, folded in half and shakily draped across the top of the box.

Juniper was about to pick up the box when bile began to rise in their throat. They bolted for the nearby bathroom, barely making it to an available toilet before losing their lunch entirely. They sobbed through the last few, painful dry heaves and thereafter, hands and lips trembling terribly while they knelt in the stall. It was a struggle to compose themself again; each time they thought they pulled themself together, Renee’s words of, “We have to let you go” echoed in their mind and pushed more tears from their eyes.

She had no idea how much time had passed before she was able to get to her feet again. She felt dizzy and her head was throbbing from all of the crying and vomiting. But she had to leave. It wasn’t a choice--wasn’t her choice. She had to get her belongings, collect her check, and leave as she was instructed. So she flushed, washed her hands and did her best to rinse out her mouth, and then kept her gaze down as she retrieved her box and walked out of her team’s office for the last time.

#Let Go para

[dentalwisdoms]

Knowing When to Seek Professional Care: A Guide to Dentist Visits

In the journey towards optimal oral health, individuals often find themselves contemplating when the right time is to schedule that crucial dentist appointment. The answer may not always be as clear as a toothy grin, but understanding the signs and signals that indicate a visit to the dentist is essential for maintaining a healthy smile. Let's explore the key indicators that suggest it's time to set up that appointment with a dental professional.

1. Regular Check-Ups:

One of the fundamental aspects of maintaining good oral health is scheduling regular dental check-ups. Even in the absence of obvious issues, professionals recommend visiting the dentist at least twice a year for routine examinations and cleanings. These appointments help catch potential problems early, preventing more significant issues down the road.

2. Persistent Toothaches:

Persistent tooth pain or discomfort is a clear signal that it's time to see the dentist. Whether it's a sharp, sudden pain or a lingering ache, toothaches can be indicative of various dental issues, including cavities, infections, or even more severe problems like abscesses. Ignoring such pain may lead to further complications, making timely dental intervention crucial.

3. Gum Issues:

Changes in gum health should not be overlooked. Bleeding, swelling, or tenderness in the gums may be signs of gum disease or other oral health issues. Regular dental check-ups can help identify and address these problems before they progress.

4. Sensitivity to Hot or Cold:

If sipping on hot coffee or indulging in an ice cream cone sends a jolt of pain through the teeth, it's time to consult with a dentist. Tooth sensitivity to temperature changes could be a sign of enamel erosion, gum recession, or other dental issues that require professional attention.

5. Persistent Bad Breath:

While occasional bad breath is normal, persistent halitosis may indicate an underlying dental issue. Cavities, gum disease, or infections can contribute to bad breath. A dentist can identify the root cause and recommend appropriate treatment to restore fresh breath.

6. Changes in Oral Appearance:

Any noticeable changes in the appearance of the teeth or mouth should prompt a visit to the dentist. This includes discoloration, visible decay, or abnormalities in the tongue or palate. Early detection of such changes can prevent more extensive treatments later on.

7. Jaw Pain or Clicking:

Jaw pain, popping, or clicking sounds when opening or closing the mouth could be indicative of temporomandibular joint (TMJ) issues. A dentist can assess the situation and recommend appropriate measures to alleviate discomfort and address the underlying problem.

Conclusion:

Regular dental check-ups, coupled with attention to changes in oral health, form the foundation for a healthy and radiant smile. Knowing when to see a dentist is not just about addressing existing problems but also about preventive care. By staying vigilant and seeking professional advice at the first sign of trouble, individuals can ensure that their oral health remains in top condition. So, don't wait – schedule that dentist appointment and keep your smile shining bright!

Dental Aesthetic Professionals, located in Anaheim, CA, offers comprehensive general dentistry services. We specialize in preventing, diagnosing, and treating various conditions and diseases that impact teeth, gums, and overall oral health.

#dentistry

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 2.11.23

Dream 1: CA posted a link to a video about women on their periods. It was a podcast about it.

Dream 2: We were all meeting up at CA's house in Italy. At the time, I was 'nearby' in an Asian country and so the flight was only a few hours. I knew these people. I can't make out anybody's faces but there was this feeling like some people were here and others were not. We were all just chilling at her house since she wasn't at home yet, probably at work or something, but her husband was there looking after us. So we just waited. I didn't really talk to anyone, I mostly kept to myself. Then she got home and greeted everybody. It felt weird, for obvious reasons. In that moment I thought, didn't the 25th say we would never meet each other? And now this is happening. What the hell? It felt like this should be impossible.

Then the group of us participated in a ceremony on the lawn of the backyard. It was a strange kind of chaos, everybody was dancing around crazily but at the same time it made sense. It suddenly started to rain but we didn't stop, it seemed to only add to the significance of what we were doing, like it was supposed to happen. Then CA and I grabbed on to each other and we started spinning around really fast in a circle. Our surroundings became a blur except for the rain drops falling from the sky. I don't know why we were doing it, but it felt like a 'normal' part of whatever it was we were doing. And then as fast as it had began, the ceremony was over.

Then we hung out sitting on couches in the living room. Somebody brought out a cake and everyone starting singing the happy birthday song in unison. Then I suddenly realised today was my birthday and somehow everyone had found out. All eyes were on me and I hated it. I hate attention. For awhile, I just frowned at everyone's smiling faces. Why did I have to go through the emotions of being happy about this? I didn't ask for it. I decided to save face and play my role of acting excited and grateful that these people were doing something nice for me. It was too late though, they had all seen me go through these emotions, plain as day on my face. I felt the emotional rift deepen. Right after, I tried to leave. I felt really uncomfortable and alone. I tried to sneak out the back door while everyone was talking, hoping they wouldn't notice my absence.

I decided not to actually leave and instead found myself in another room in the house. I think this room had just been recently renovated since I could see a fresh coat of paint and exposed door-hinges. There was a general sense of 'unfinished'. In this room, there were little sleeping puppies scattered everywhere. Probably a dozen of them. They were absolutely adorable and they had captured my attention entirely. I petted them and just watched them in their peaceful stillness. Some of the puppies were really young, too young in fact, to be away from their mothers. I saw that one of the puppies sleeping in it's bed had a little make-shift paper chart beside it. There were codes scratched on it, indicating what needed to be done next to ensure the puppy was cared for properly, presumably things like feeding it, changing it etc. I didn't see any mother dog around.

I was grateful for the short flight home, since I was situated only a few hours away in that Asian country. I felt glad knowing I could come back easily if need be.

[eddie]

ANSWERED ASK for : @prettybrawler ❝ [ EMBRACE ] sender hugs receiver from behind ❞

⛧˖ ─── THERE WAS A POINT IN TIME WHERE Eddie Munson might have been able to pin the blame of his self-destructive romantic choices on a lapse of judgement, or maybe on foolhardy teenage desire, but it seemed now as though the well of excuses that he’d once fished for justification in had effectively dried up. Nearly five years of hard wear and utter exhaustion would do that. But even still, with rationale and a record of unlearned lessons staring him dead in the eye, he chose to keep his head down and pick through the cracks in the dehydrated soil, desperate for a reason to cling to whatever half-baked shreds of hope he could convince himself that his tired hands had unearthed.

            The air that night was warm but the breeze kept it cool, the gentle current sweeping through the framework of the metal structures that decorated the playground. It was another one of those nights, where Eddie’s resolve had been so WEAK that it wavered on the cusp of non-existence. All it had taken was one glance at that goofy grin and the metalhead’s caution was being tossed into the wind as though it were featherlight; as though it hadn’t weighed him down like an anchor in the aftermath of his repeated oversights in the past.

            There was something about the HIGH of being around the blond, of feeling wanted by him, that made him forget about the steep DROP that would inevitably come afterwards. It bordered on being addicting, as there was a particular type of desperate thirst that Caed Byrone always left in his absence that made the return of his touches feel akin to the sweet relief of a heavy rainfall. It was almost too easy for Eddie to get swept up in the rose-tinted rapture of his drizzle, only to find himself in the desolate wake of his FLOOD.

            The embrace from behind came like a gentle mist on a withering bud; warm and alleviating. Eddie easily leaned into the hold, his own arms returning the gesture with a squeeze against the taller male’s forearms as he balanced his cigarette between his grinning lips. Black-polished fingers removed it momentarily afterwards, allowing for a grey cloud of smoke to exhale from his lungs, carried out on the soft notes of rolling laughter. He’d been on an obvious pathway towards the monkey bars before this, but he wasn’t about to let Caed’s sudden proximity get in his way—nor was he about to let go of him. He would compromise on NEITHER.

            ❝ Alright, you’re coming with me then. ❞            

            Awkward footsteps tugged the blond along behind him, the metalhead’s hold on his muscular arms never loosening until he’d arrived at his destination. Even then, he’d paused for a moment’s hesitation, relishing in the warmth of his hold for just a little longer before he’d wiggled loose to step up onto the first rung of the ladder. ❝ I, uh— ❞ He took a final drag from his cigarette before he’d pivoted to place it in Caed’s care, and then his ascent continued. The cloud of smoke billowed out from between his lips with a soft breath. ❝—I got some new ink. ❞ It probably came as no surprise, as Eddie was always collecting tattoos, but it had been a while since the two of them had hooked up. ❝ It hurt like a bitch but, uh… yeah, it looks pretty sweet, I think. ❞ The grin on his face widened as he’d glanced over his shoulder.

            Within moments, the metalhead was hanging upside down from the monkey bars, his shaggy mane swaying freely beneath him. The grin on his face was just as playful as ever, albeit a little IMPISH. ❝ Search me. You win if you can find it before I pass out. Tick tock. ❞ The blood was already rushing to his head, but he was just idiotic enough to ignore it for the sake of a silly game ( aka having Caed’s hands on his body. ) Besides, the only thing keeping the new bats on his left hip concealed was the zipped-up leather jacket that was prohibiting the distressed band tee underneath from riding up his lanky torso.

#「 ❛ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠʳᵉᵃᵏ ❜ 」 ⛧ 𝕰 𝖉 𝖉 𝖎 𝖊 𝕸 𝖚 𝖓 𝖘 𝖔 𝖓 | | ‎‏‏‎ ‎answered #「 ❛ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠʳᵉᵃᵏ ❜ 」 ⛧ 𝕰 𝖉 𝖉 𝖎 𝖊 𝕸 𝖚 𝖓 𝖘 𝖔 𝖓 | | ‎‏‏‎ ‎replies #「 ❛ ᵒᵖᵖᵒˢⁱᵗᵉ ❜ 」 ⛧ 𝕮 𝖆 𝖊 𝖉 𝕭 𝖞 𝖗 𝖔 𝖓 𝖊 | | ‎‏‏‎ prettybrawler #prettybrawler

[przybyszewskileon]

During the last few months, I have completed all of my CAS branches regarding the “learning outcomes”. From the list, I have chosen a few that in my opinion fit best my current state in all three regions:

“Identify own strengths and areas for growth” - Starting with the creativity, as with each month I have to come up with new healthy dishes to prepare, with the number of meals already prepared I have identified the cooking regions I find myself to be better at and what I enjoy more. For example, because of the project, I have developed a solid likeability for dishes prepared from avocado, which not only are in most cases simple but also highly valuable in nutrients (which is the crucial factor of my creative cooking). Service also came with different ups and downs. As it is only my second or third time making an internet website, and the first one making one for a legitimate association I have learned a lot of new things along the way. It obviously came with a number of disappointments some leading to a complete change of plans, however, I am glad that in the end, we were able to come up with a final product. Activity - as my sport involves constant development on a daily basis of training I am continuously trying to improve on the things that I have been doing before which can be visible in different posts on my blog.

“Demonstrate that new challenges have been undertaken, developing new skills in the process” - In regard to all branches of the CAS activity. With each new month, I am essentially forced to think of new ways of developing my previously existing sub-projects. In the activity - I have to think of new dishes and ways I can prepare them; in service - I am in the process of constantly developing my webpage-creating skills, by improving the already existing ones; and in the activity - even when I am not learting new nuances, as I have acquired most of the basic knowledge, (nevertheless, I am not saying I am not) I am constantly improving my already existing skills and polishing in the premise of one day reaching perfection.

“Demonstrate the skills and recognize the benefits of working collaboratively” - This branch can in my opinion be generalized to two of the branches (service and activity) as the creativity is solely focused on my own inventions and creations. As the 420 dinghy class is a two-person boat, it is rather obvious that I would not be able to perform any of my actions without the interaction with my helmsman. And as for the service, I am really glad I have teamed up with my friend Janek as on numerous occasions the process of producing a website has proved to be rather hard and by consulting with each other we were both able to take our project to the next steps.

“Show commitment to and perseverance in CAS activities” - This branch is in my opinion one of the most important ones in regard to the whole of my project. As the school work in IB1 has proved to be significantly harder than in the previous years and as I had a number of impediments along the way, including a serious surgery, and an almost 2 month-long absence from school as a result of performing my professional sport, many times it has been very hard to keep up with performing all the activities on time. Nevertheless, as the school year is coming to an end, I can honestly say that I am very proud of the progress I have made and that I have ultimately kept up with all the posts each month.

[steveyockey]

do you think that -- if they WERE planning to do gay angel press initially -- part of the reason they didn't might have been the (reactionary) bury your gays backlash from fans and non-fans? in which case. twitter rly does ruin everything. :/

I’m not tied to this but here’s a hypothetical to work through that at least provides a theory on the lack of gay angel press (probably not very different from any other theory on this website but just writing it out for continuity),

okay. pre-pandemic. the arc of the final few episodes seems to have been set and 15.18 was the last piece, pending jensen’s approval. roadhouse heaven ending was a go — presumably featuring a cas cameo among other various and sundry friends. approving 15.18 introduces a problem by way of the fact that cas has just confessed his undying love for dean and there’s an expected response. but it’s fine! you don’t actually need that, you’ve been baiting fans for a decade, you can work your magic one more time with a lil wink and nudge and never have to deal with that again. ambiguous “to each his own” ending, you talk up the gay angel on one side and the bronly-ness of the last hunt on the other; everyone walks away happy. you have successfully threaded the needle of finishing off a twelve year queerbait without “caving to the fans,” high fives all around.

15.18 gets filmed. the angel is gay gay. the footage is. we don’t know what the footage looks like. there could be anything. maybe there’s a kiss with tongue. ends up not really mattering because the pandemic happens and they have to stop shooting and stop airing. no idea how much changes in 15.19 (clearly SOME stuff considering we know the folks who got chuck snapped in the silo were supposed to be shown back in the flesh and that got cut). 15.20 has to change — so roadhouse heaven becomes three person heaven (plus the cast and crew, who were already on set so no, this is not proof they could have brought a crowd of actors anyway, it’s just. weird. I don’t like this decision. strikes me as authoritative like WE told the story not YOU. anyway). putting cas in three person heaven makes winking and nudging a lot harder to do and would make the absence of an actual substantive response to the confession uhhhh very obvious. so you have to cut cas. and then maybe you have to cut other references to cas in 15.19, maybe you cut some emotionality from dean’s side in 15.18, maybe you straight up insert the moment in 15.20 where dean tells sam to stop being an eeyore about cas’s death! we don’t know how much was changed, but there was at least the opportunity at this point to dull dean’s response to the whole thing so the absence of cas in heaven is more palatable. it’s the bronly ending, but you already gave the audience the gay angel. and the gay angel is alive and building heaven with his son! no more cashing in on the queerbait but still cashing in on canon gay.

it’s november 5th. 15.18 airs. it trends higher than the biggest election “of our lives.” holy shit! gay angel! but of course the issue is the people responding aren’t the people who have been watching the show. they don’t have context for what’s going on and “turbohell” catches on. fuck. did you kill the gay angel? of course not, he’s in heaven with his son! lisa berry can post her goodbye instagram to her character because obviously billie’s dead, she’s the villain. she’s not expected to come back. but cas is... cas is different. and he’s not dead and you won’t be taking any questions on this until we get to the end, when everyone can settle down. so you have your actors gush about the episode, you leave everyone on pins and needles so they’ll come back for two more, and then! well. 15.20. cas is “alive” technically. dean is dead, as you always planned. some people are happy, some people are middling, and some people are fucking pissed at you because apparently by not outright killing off the gay angel you promised them the gay angel was coming back. any clarification you would offer here would unspool your entire plan — gay angel on one side, brothers on the other. erasing cas isn’t the same as killing him, but you can’t say that (though misha basically did in response to the rogue translator shenanigans). killing dean wasn’t even supposed to be about cas, but now everything is about cas. you took him out of the story completely and he’s still managed to take over. and all you can say is, well, it’s always been a story about brothers.

this obviously doesn’t account for everything, such as what the fuck was uriel’s actor doing? why the fuck did the show actually give us the instructions for how to get someone out of the empty and not do it? and there’s an infinite number of things that could have happened that I would simply never guess not knowing specific onset dynamics and money decisions. whatever happened that caused this clusterfuck really does suck for everyone in that writers room who was on team gay angel because, as I have said in the past, 15.18 only works due to at least four years, if not seven or more, of consciously writing the angel as gay. I hope bobo and yockey and even misha feel personal satisfaction at a job well done, but god if a single fucking interview could at least let us indulge in the victory with them. anyway, all of this is to say, yes I do think the bury-your-gays of it all definitely plays into it (and I would say, again, linking this to it chapter 2, it’s significant muschietti and co decided to make richie gay over eddie; people who haven’t read the book might not know that eddie like. literally drinks mineral water. in the 80s. he wears gucci loafers. he marries a carbon copy of his mother. stephen king would never admit to writing a gay man but that was a gay man. but eddie dies! eddie always dies. so they had some good sense in giving the gay story to the one who lives and leaving the dead one holding all the coding). and I definitely think randos on twitter making fun of the confession did not help matters. but I also think the decision to pull press cannot be extricated from the rubble of the last two episodes and everything they promised but never delivered. literally a single second of cas in the finale would have been their golden ticket! that’s far more than what jj did for star wars! but they got played at their own game by, of all things, an international pandemic. somehow a very supernatural ending after all.

#anon #answered #did I answer the question? you decide! #spn

[immersed-in-mischief]

Ballad of a Broken Heart: A Loki Mini Series- Part 2

This series is inspired by the stories found in music. Each part is based on the lyrics of a particular song. A link to the Spotify playlist can be found in the comments on Part 1. As long as it doesn't get taken down, I will also include the song for each part below.

Read the previous parts here

Mischief Makers: @ruiningthe1975 @nms224 @youlightmeupfinn @salempoe @lokiprompts @oasiswithmyg @saltandapepper @chwlogy @locht3ssmonster @mad4marvelloki @sititran @dryyoursaltyoceantears @ca-loki @nurisiliel @thankyouforanonymity @tgaylorxoxo @ordinarylokix @1marvelnerd3000 @queenofallhobos @marvelgirl0515 @augusta-imperatrix @deanaddicted2 @geekwritersworld @donttouchmylaevateinn @rogerrhqpsody @artof-aristocracy @vampire7595 @naturalavenger @dangertoozmanykids101 @nicole-lightfoot @mm2305 @lokistoriesblog @rosec0lored @lokiswildheartcantbebroken @morganmofresh @lienoec @christineblood @asgardianprincess1050 @i-beg-your-pardon-laufeyson @prettylittlepluviophile @michakune @lizolsensgf @pakalanalei @develin13 @mariahlaufeyson @huntress-artemiss @newtomofgods @agentkinghorn @d1a2n389 @gold-bea @bouffantofdoom @toujurspure @moon-mayari @sleutherclaw @my-river-lilly @blackwidownat2814 @olaxhollander @paetonnn

Part 2: Ten Words Or Less (Mr. Perfectly Fine- Taylor Swift)

The clank of dishes and laughter around you snapped you out of your thoughts. You were now sucked back into this nightmare. You had been stood up on your birthday by the man you had stupidly let yourself fall in love with without so much as an excuse. Your memories seemed to hold so much more color and vibrancy than your current world. As if she could read your thoughts written all over your face, you felt Nat softly stroke the back of your hand. If you looked up at her right now, you knew you would fall apart.

“Sweetie, you’ve barely touched your food…”

You finally took a deep breath and looked up as everyone else had almost finished eating and were all drinking and laughing with each other. At least they had finally quit staring at you with that pitiful look.

“I’m just not hungry anymore. Do you mind if we just go ahead and cut the cake? I just need this to be over with already Nat.”

With a nod, she locked eyes with Wanda and nodded towards the kitchen. A few minutes later, the ladies return with the cake as the rest of the team joined them in the singing. You focused on keeping it together a few more minutes and then this horrible night could be over. As the flame on the candle flickered, you knew exactly what you would wish for, even though it did you no good now.

As the team cleaned up dinner, you quietly retreated to your room to try one last attempt to reach out to him. Sitting down on your bed, you took a deep breath and decided to send one final message for today. Loki had made it obvious that your birthday wasn’t even a blip on his radar and it honestly broke your heart. His distance before he left, and the painful absence today only fed the doubts in your head. Your words you had typed out in the message did little to covey the storm brewing inside.

You said you would be here. You promised.

You pressed send and laid back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. All the plans you had for this day seemed like an alternate reality at this point. After Loki had left so strangely the other day, you had decided that you would find some time on your birthday when he returned and do something for just the two of you. It was time to lay it all out on the line and tell him exactly how you felt. Yes, he had been in your bed every night for the last month and knew your body, mind, and soul in more intimate ways than anyone else ever had, but the two of you hadn’t had “the talk” just yet. You had wanted to bring it up for a while now but always chickened out at the last minute. Everything changed between you and Loki so fast. After he surprised you with that kiss the day he got back from a mission, it was as if you had just dove head first off the cliff into a serious relationship. You had spent most of your days together before getting to know each other, but now you also knew every inch of each other’s bodies and were practically living together. Looking around the room, his things were everywhere. His pillow had replaced the extra one that used to be on your bed. Most of his favorite books were stacked up on the night side on what had become his side of the bed and were carefully placed on other places around the room. You knew for a fact that the top right drawer of your dresser had ended up being filled with his most commonly worn lounge clothes and sleep pants and a few of his dress clothes that had been mixed in with your dry cleaning were now hanging up in the corner of your closet. The two of you may not have put an official title to things, but in your eyes, this was a relationship. Because of that, you hadn’t fought too hard when you realized you had fallen head over heels in love with Loki. That is why you had decided that today was the day you would tell him how you felt. Maybe if you had the difficult conversation, the little voice in the back of your head would stop. Anytime you had thought about asking him about what this all meant to him and how he felt about you, the voice only put doubt in your mind. What if he didn’t feel the same way and then you had to wake up from this dream. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t verbally defined anything between you either. He was already getting everything he could possibly want from you without a title, so why would he want one? This was not how this day was supposed to turn out. You checked your phone one last time before you were going to give up. If there was nothing from him, it was time to shower and wash away all the effort you had put into today. The perfectly styled hair and makeup and the perfect dress picked out especially for him would no longer matter. The sooner you were in pajamas and in bed, the sooner this horrible day would end. As you glanced at your phone, there was no message from him, even though the delivery status had already changed to read. If he was going to ignore you, he could have at least had the respect to turn off read receipt on his phone. Who were you kidding though, everyone knew he was barely capable of calling and texting anyways. The thought flashed through your mind just as you were about to turn on the shower. If you called him out on reading the messages, would it push him enough to actually respond to one? You typed out the message before you lost your nerve.

Loki, your phone tells me when you have read my messages. I know you are receiving them and making the choice to not respond to me. Are you okay? Have I done something to upset you? Will you please just talk to me and at least let me know that you are safe?

You stared at your phone and watched in horror as the message status changed once again from delivered to read. The dots never appeared to show he was typing a response. As you stared at the screen willing it to show you any sign from Loki, your frustration reached a breaking point. You angerly typed out the words and hit send before you even read them.

All that I wanted was to spend my birthday with my boyfriend. If you didn’t want to come to the dinner, I wish you would have just said something to me instead of ignoring me all day.

You realized too late what you had just said. Planning to have “the talk” with him and flat out calling him your boyfriend in an angry text without actually discussing the dynamics of your relationship was two completely different things. Panic filled your entire body as you threw the phone down on the bed as if it had burned you. This day just wouldn’t end. A quick glance down at your phone made you do a double take though. The bubbles had actually appeared this time.

Loki was typing a response.

You would have been excited if you weren’t in total shock. Willing those small insignificant graphics to appear all day had done nothing for you. Now that everything was on the line and you had thrown that title out there like a live hand grenade, those three little dots held so much power over you. Everything felt like it was on the line with the single text message currently being composed on the other end of the conversation. Just before the light on the screen dimmed enough to shut off, his words came through.

Your boyfriend? I thought you said we were friends, Kitten.

Those ten simple words brought your world crashing down on top of you in that single moment. You had spent your birthday waiting on a man who only saw you as a friend. The single line of text held so much power. Loki had ignored your calls and texts the entire day. Even when you called him out on being obvious with ignoring you, he didn’t budge. With a single word, you had finally pushed the right button. He hadn’t cared enough to even wish you a happy birthday or give an excuse as to why he couldn’t make it to the dinner, yet he felt compelled enough to correct you on the title you had given him by mistake. Everything had changed in an instant. If he only saw you as a friend, then he had no reason to be committed to you so no wonder he would skip out on your birthday. The worst doubt flashed across your mind. What if he was out with someone else today and that was the reason he felt the need to ignore you? This wasn’t a relationship so it wouldn’t actually be cheating. You were devastated and he had truly done nothing wrong outside of standing you up.

It was almost like you loved torturing yourself the way you kept reading the words over and over again. The last word sends frigid waves across your heart. He had called you Kitten. Calling you Kitten in the moment he shattered your heart seemed to taint every other memory of the affection. It now felt like a knife that only he wielded against you. One particular conversation suddenly replayed in your head from the early days together. After discussing past relationships, Loki said that he had a far amount of casual ones, but nothing serious. You had naively assumed he just hadn’t met the right person. In this moment, it made you feel like a complete fool. He was flat out telling you that he didn’t do committed relationships and you had been too blinded to see the truth in his words. Hell, he had probably found someone else as soon as you got too close and that’s why he pulled away from you. The image of him in someone else’s bed right now brought a fresh set of tears.

Part of you truly thought he was different from what everybody else saw in him. The smugness. The designer suits. Keeping everyone at an arm’s length and not letting them in. Except for you. You had felt special. Being the one he chose to befriend and later bed, made you feel like you were different somehow. He had a way of making you feel like the only person in his world. It certainly was a great trick. Getting you to let your guard down without ever dropping his in return. He made you feel beautiful and desired… until you weren’t anymore. Instead you were crying on your birthday with a handful of broken promises and an empty bed.

Unable to hold it in for another second, you finally let out a deep growl that slowly turned into a scream as all the tension, pain, frustration, anxiety, and disappointment from the day escaped from you. You let it all out and you didn’t care who heard you. The God of Mischief had used you as his own personal plaything and you had stupidly handed yourself over to him without hesitation.

He was the man you loved with everything you were.

You were his toy.

You weren’t sure how long you had been sitting in the floor staring at the wall. You also hadn’t heard Nat and Wanda come into the room with Steve and Tony following closely behind them. The tears streaming down your face were red hot. Your pride refused to let the rest of the team see you like this. The guys stayed in the doorway as Natasha helped you up to sit down on the bed.

“Wanda and I were coming to see if you wanted to go out tonight and clear your head but after a scream like that, we aren’t giving you the choice, babe. Don’t let him ruin this day for you. We’re going dancing and celebrating you in our own way.”

You chuckled as you saw her putting on her “Mama Bear” face knowing she wasn’t giving you the option to say no. If he thought you were just friends anyways, you weren’t even going through a breakup, even if it felt like it. You had to get out of this tower before you suffocated. As pure rage pumped through your veins, you didn’t need to think twice about your next move. Loki would be gifted with one more text from you for today before your phone was abandoned for the evening.

Apparently, you’re neither. Not after the way you’ve treated me today when you knew how important it was to me. Thank you for making this so much easier to do. Whatever this whole thing was Laufeyson, it’s over now.

“We’re getting the hell out here girls, but there is just one thing I need to do first. Boys, please go get me a couple of empty boxes while I change out of this stupid dress. I have some packing to do.”

#loki fandom #loki fluff #tom hiddleston fluff #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson #tom hiddleston angst #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #loki angst #loki x reader #SoundCloud

[vminvisiblestring]

How Robert Berens Made Destiel Canon

or The Beautifully Tragic Road to Destiel

in honor of their one month anniversary, i want to talk about robert berens and how he made it his mission to make destiel canon and the care he took approaching their relationship...

i dont know if this has been pointed out before, but i was looking at the episodes bobo berens wrote when i realized something: he wrote all the significant destiel episodes in s15. i think that means he probably planned to make destiel canon long before s15 started:

he hid a love story inside the monster story. a love story told in five parts:

• initiating event

• rising action

• climax (first twist)

• falling action

• second twist (no resolution)

14x18: absence - “initiating event”

the initiating event introduces the conflict and sets events into motion in a story.

in absence, cas reveals to dean that jack might not have a soul and therefore might not know that hurting his mother was wrong. this angers dean and results in dean telling cas “youre dead to me”. this initiates a chain of events that lead their relationship to experience a tear (or rupture).

15x03: the rupture - “rising action”

the rising action is the result of a character trying to (in this case) solve a problem but a force is at conflict with the character. for every step taken, there is either a successful or failed outcome; this pattern continues all the way to the climax.

complications in dean and cas’s relationship continue to widen the distance between them into the start of season 15 with the deaths of rowena and belphagor (for which dean blames cas) culminating in the infamous “breakup” scene. cas said there was nothing left for him anymore and leaves dean.

15x08: our father who arent in heaven - “rising action”

bobo didnt write this episode but its important to the path because rowena tells dean and cas to fix their relationship in the same episode that michael sends them to purgatory (aka the place dean realized he was in love with cas all those years ago and where they fixed their relationship the first time)

15x09: the trap - ‘climax & first twist”

the climax is the most emotional part of the story and is reached when the character takes the final step to resolve their problem. this is also where the turning point of the story begins and descends to the falling action (and if there is a plot twist, it happens here).

the first twist: dean confesses first. this scene is deans confession disguised as an apology. he might lose cas and needed him to know hes sorry. the prayer scene is so important because, if we read the scene, this is in fact, an apology, but its so much more than that. dean responds to cas’s “i left but you didnt stop me” with “i should have stopped you”. this scene showed just how much dean has grown, how much he’s trying and how much he wants to be free of the anger he feels because he realized it was what separated him from the man he loves on multiple occasions. this is deans way of saying “im sorry. i didnt mean anything i said. you are the most important person in my life and i let you leave. i shouldnt have let you leave. thats my fault. im trying to get better. please tell me you’re gonna be okay. tell me this isnt the last time i’ll ever see you. please. i love you”.

dean and cas reunite near the rift but dean doesnt want to leave before telling cas something. we know it cant be the prayer because its obvious cas heard that; this is something else, but cas stops him. this scene is them making amends with each other the best way they know how: a silent knowing. the conflict has finally been resolved.

15x12: galaxy brain - “falling action”

the falling action consists of the after-effects of the climax and every event from here onward should lead to a logical conclusion.

dean and cas’s relationship is better, they seem at peace. the silent knowing is definitely there, and they both seem comfortable the way they left things. the way things are going, they’ll likely have as much a “happy” ending as a fallen angel and a hunter can have without talking about this silent knowing. we cant forget about the looming empty deal, but knowing cas will never be truly happy, it seems like dean and cas are going to be friends for a long time...

15x18: despair - “second twist”

after the falling action comes the resolution. sometimes in film and television, a surprise second twist will occur after the climax and toss the characters into another fight. the second twist is resolved quicker than the first and leads to a speedy resolution.

the second twist here, however, replaces the resolution because the story of destiel sadly and infuriatingly, never got its resolution.

i feel like bobo was told cas was going to get killed off and thats why he knew there was no way the network would allow dean to reciprocate so he did the best he could to work around the homophobia and make destiel canon as much as possible for us.

this is the most “resolution” we were given by a show we spent years watching and loving. we rooted for the characters, we fought as much for their happiness as they did themselves. and it ended up stabbing jensen, misha, bobo, other cast members, some writers and the fans in the back.

deans face here is all i have left to hold on to and thats not fair. and its not fair that after all these years this is what they did to one of the most complex love stories ever told. not only that, but dean and cas were also some of the complex characters ever put to screen. this is not a good ending for them and it never will be. not until they both get the endings they deserve, as individuals and as one. and im sorry for the pain all this mess has caused and would like nothing more than to squeeze everyone really tight and tell you it’ll be okay.

#destiel #cockles #jensen literally approved of misha and bobos plans for destiel #i mean whenever jensen directed he made sure there were destiel scenes #he WANTED dean and cas to become more intimate #dean and cas deserved to speak their truth and be happy together #not to mention a majority of destiel shippers and dean and cas stans are #lgbtq #so thats just another big fuck you on top of the spits and slaps to our faces with that finale #im sorry to get so negative in a post thats supposed to be positive and bring levity to the darkness we've had this past month #i just cant help but feel so much anger #for robert berens #for jensen #for misha #for us #anyways always remember #destiel is fucking canon #and #homosexual declaration of love #deancas #dean winchester #dean #castiel #cas #supernatural #supernatural final season #spn #bobo berens #jensen ackles #jensen

[diminuel]

Heyyy, can I ask for abo fic recs set in canon verse? And, hope you're having a nice day~

Of course! These are the things I have on my lists, though as always, please let me know in case I forgot or missed something! A few of the fics on here are mine. I LOVE canon compliant A/B/O :D I'm always up to writing more ;D

Fics under the read more~

Things I Don't Want To Know For $400, Alex by ThroughTheTulips (1.2k)

Jimmy was a beta, so it's a surprise all around when Human!Cas turns out to be an omega. A really, really awkward surprise (at least for Sam).

Getting What He Needs by DC_Derringer (5.1k)

Castiel wants Dean, but angels don't manifest alpha/omega traits, so Dean isn't interested. Until Castiel follows him to a certain kind of club.

A New Sort of Grace by DarkCaustic (3.7k)

Maybe angels are rather genderless and don’t go through heat and rut, but now Cas is human is he is clearly beta. Because that is the unmistakable musk of beta in heat.

Winging it by TheSlothQueen (6.2k)

Usually a successful hunt did not end up with Dean almost dying of hypothermia. This time, it did.Good thing that Cas and his very warm wings were there to save him. The wings even smelled good… Like, really, really good.

Christmas Treats and Angel Heats by MalMuses (19.9k)

Angels don't have a sex, or gender, nevermind a secondary gender—right? At least, that's what the Winchesters have been led to believe. It's Christmas, and Dean misses his angel friend. He's been AWOL for days, and the Winchesters are worried.When Cas returns to the bunker on Christmas Eve, very clearly in heat, a few of their assumptions are going to have to change.Oh, and Dean is going to have to hide his feelings for Cas in the face of the news that the angel is an unmated omega, who desperately needs their help. Merry Christmas, Dean!

Cernunnos by castielssock (8.3k)

(Read the archive warning and tags!)

They'd been in purgatory less than five weeks when it happened.

Google says I'm in heat by SillyBlue (3.6k)

As an angel, Cas should be unaffected by the biology of his omega body, but ever since he had been possessed by Lucifer, things don't really run as smoothly anymore.

Pine or Break by SillyBlue (2.1k)

When Dean faints after a hunt, the doctor has a clear diagnosis: pining sickness. But Cas died and there's no way that Dean should suffer from pining sickness. Mates that are left behind don't pine, they break. So what does the illness mean? Does Dean dare to hope?

An Unexpected Challenge by SillyBlue (1.2k)

Cas already had an alpha, so the random dude trying to get into Cas' pants had no chance. But Cas apparently didn't get the memo that he and Dean were together. And sure, Dean never actually said the words or asked him out, but come on! It was obvious! Or not?

The Extraordinarily Disappointing Fragrance of Cheese by SillyBlue (6.2k)

When Metatron banishes Castiel from Heaven, leaving him human and many hours away from the Bunker, Dean tells him to seek shelter and wait. In the 6 days following his fall, Castiel learns a lot of things; that humans need money, that being an omega was somehow more relevant than being male, and that if he and Dean were to be mates, pleasant scents were mandatory. But then Dean shows up at the Omega Shelter, beautiful and charming as ever, and… Cas doesn't like his scent.

Transformed Anew by SillyBlue (8.8k)

Summary:While Castiel had some confidence in his ability to lie, sometimes bending the truth was easiest. When Claire Novak needs him to bail her out of the group home, Castiel feels that the best explanation for his absence is half of the truth: he got into a very turbulent and very powerful pair bond with his Alpha, Dean Winchester. Dean's not particularly happy about the not quite lie, but maybe it's high time to face the mating claim that binds them. After all, Claire's not the only one who needs to get herself out of a bad situation and maybe, just maybe, Castiel can provide some relief.

#Anonymous #Diminuel replies #fic rec #ABO dynamics #omega!Cas #alpha!Dean #Destiel