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frownyalfred · 8 months

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I don’t think the other batkids give Damian enough shit for calling himself the “blood son.”

like what do you mean you’re proud of being related to that man? Bruce can’t maintain an emotional conversation for more than two seconds, drinks raw egg yolks, and walks into walls after not sleeping for 72 hours. he keeps flirting with his enemies and knows every Jeopardy answer before the prompt is fully read and he ruins it for everyone by saying it out loud every time. him????

#jk jk #said lovingly #Damian and the batkids need to mess around like real siblings #which means Damian says that and they’re not hurt #they just start laughing and giving him shit #like sure that’s Batman #but that’s also BRUCE #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #batdad #batfam #thoughts

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redsray · 3 months

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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?

Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??

Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.

Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.

Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.

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violent138 · 2 months

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League members discussing meeting Robin at work:

"Compared to Bats, Robin was a total sweetheart. Ball of sunshine."

"Man, must've been a good day then, the kid I met was a real anklebiter. He pulled out a sword and everything."

"Anklebiter is harsh, the sweet boy I met barely said a word, he just kept asking about Themyscira and the lasso."

"He? I met a blonde girl."

"No, no, black haired boy with blue eyes. We're talking about Robin."

"Yeah same here, blue eyed and tanned."

"Pretty sure he had green eyes. And talked fancy. And kind of scolded me for time travelling."

"The child I met was paler than the moon."

"I'm telling you I met a girl, and she was Robin."

"Well... either we're all wrong or we're all right."

So they arrive at the conclusion that Bats has a shape-shifter for a kid.

#Not particularly original #however still amusing #They conveniently forget how many years have passed between interactions #And also forget that people can have the same“hero” name #Batman #Batfamily #dc robin #like Red Hood (there was another red hood before that)#Bruce Wayne #Dick Grayson #Jason todd #Damian Wayne #Tim Drake #Stephanie brown #This came to me in a fever dream #jla #justice league

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danafromunderarock · 1 month

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one thing that will always be funny to me about batfam is that jason is forever convinced that dick is bruce's favorite child while all of his siblings know for sure that bruce's favorite child is actually jason

some random reporter: who's your favorite child?

bruce: how DARE YOU imply that i play favorites, i love ALL of my children equally

dick, without missing a bit: oh he absolutely plays favorites, it was jason

tim: rest in peace

#dc #dc comics #batfamily #bruce wayne #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce: i love all my children equally #also bruce five minutes later: idc about dick #this is a joke btw #although. i Do think that bruce is one of those parents who clearly love certain kids more

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adreamfromnevermore · 2 months

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AU Where the Justice League forms as usual except for one slight difference where Bruce just so happens to have been the one superheroing for the longest. (Excluding Diana, who got up to it in World War 1 and then mostly didn't while she learned about Man's World)

Bruce helps form the Justice League, ignoring all of the comments as they come to the sudden realization that Gotham's baby cryptid story is actually a man in a very intimidating armored suit who can and will break your arm if you cause problems for him. They are unaware that this is not the first team he's led, and actually he's used to teams full of mostly teenagers who also happen to be his children. This should be easier, this team is primarily adults.

He realizes rapidly that he doesn't understand these people.

His kids take bonding activities to mean learning a dozen different ways to break someones leg. That doesn't fly with these people. And that is most of Bruce's ideas, hell when he was a kid Alfred took every opportunity to get him out of his room and mostly that was with the agreement that Alfred would teach him how to defend himself. He's come by it honestly.

This team is not easier. They have more drama than when his house was actually full of kids. It's insane. He doesn't know what to do with it, usually he just sent the kids to their rooms or grounded them from patrol. That doesn't work here.

He comes to a strange crossroads. That falls apart when he forgets who he's working with and snaps at Hal with a full room of heroes that the next person to throw a punch or an insult without a reason too will be sparring with him.

A long standing rule in the batcave that worked two fold to prevent infighting between the kids and too ensure that they were well and truly trained.

It works wonders. No one says a word out of line for the rest of the debrief. Bruce becomes the unofficial mediator of the league over Clark because anytime he walked in on a fight it suddenly became 10 times more civil out of sheer terror of what he'd do to them in a sparring match.

Eventually they actually meet his kids. Well, one kid.

Half way through a mission (one of the rare ones in Gotham) the Bat comes to a complete stop at the edge of an alley. Every single league member on the team comes to a stop behind him. Slowly from the shadows of the alley a man in a red helmet stalks out to greet them.

"You don't call, you don't write"

"Red Hood."

"Don't Red Hood me! We've been worried sick!"

"I was at the cave last night."

"You didn't answer my texts B. You always answer my texts."

Somehow it ends with big and scary following them through the rest of the mission with a running commentary of how much Bats has let him down in his failure to respond in a timely manner to a text send less than an hour before he ran into them in the alley. It only ends when Red Robin shows up.

And even then it only ends because Hood can't keep himself from throwing a punch and Bruce has to snap at him that if he throws another one they're sparring when they get home.

And by god is Jason giving up the chance to punch his brothers.

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t00thpasteface · 5 months

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i am unironically obsessed with adam west batman not only trying to be a good dad to robin, but actually succeeding. also love robin's insane energy levels and his ability to go from seething bloodlust to manic glee in record time. i think any superman worth his S would fit right into the family ^_^

#this show just makes me giggle it's sooooo silly and fun and snappy #also as a fellow Superman Preferrer i love the idea of Number One Superman Fan Dick Grayson. bias? who's biased???#art #comic #dc #superbat #batman 66 #batman #bruce wayne #dc robin #dick grayson #superman #clark kent

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roppiepop · 4 months

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Who’s coming to the cookout?

#bruce wayne #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #batman #red robin #dc robin #batgirl #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #roppie tries to draw #WE ARE GOING TO IGNORE that comic where bruce seems to be able to cook now #bcs this has been in my drafts for literal years lmao thats how slow i am w these #this comic is also known as ‘wordless communication: how well your family knows you’#dont think too much abt the particulars abt any aspect of this ok 😃👍#i had fun playing around w how i color thinngs i hope its not too messy!!#WAIT DOES THIS SAY COOK-OFF I MEANT COOKOUT!!!!!!!!#(its not a roppie piece without a typo but please OTL read that as i intended im on the ground

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elkscreams · 3 months

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Can't be caught slacking

#jason is baby #bruce is also baby but bigger and anxious #myart #my art #batman #batman fanart #bruce wayne #batfam #jason todd #red hood

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nerdpoe · 4 months

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Phantom, the newest addition to the Justice League, pulls Wonder Woman aside.

He has...a strange request.

He's nervous, flustered, fading in and out of the visible spectrum. It's clear that what he's about to ask of her is important to him, and even though she has an uncomfortable voice in the back of her head telling her this young hero is about to ask her out, she resolves to listen before she jumps to conclusions.

She's glad she did.

"Can...can you put a grave for me in Themyscira? I know it's just for women, but it's the safest place I can think of for it! I just...I don't have a grave, and Clockwork says it's starting to stunt my growth as a Ghost, and I have too many enemies on American soil, so. It's okay if you say no, though, I'll figure something out, it's fine."

Diana lets him ramble to the end, already knowing what her answer is going to be.

"We would be honored to host your grave, Phantom. Do you have any remains I can take home? Do you require a funeral service?"

Phantom looks...he looks beyond grateful. Close to tears.

"No, no remains. A symbolic grave is fine, it just. It has to have my real name on it, my mortal one." He says, looking hesitant. "Please don't reach out to my family, Wonder Woman. They don't know."

With that, he hands over a small slip of paper, torn from a notebook and clearly folded one too many times.

She takes it as though he were entrusting her with the rarest diamond in the world. She wants to, but she does not ask how they could not notice the death of someone so very bright.

Instead she nods, tucking the paper away.

Phantom will get a grand grave, one worthy of a friend to the Crown of Themyscira. She will ensure it.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #she builds him a superb grave #and makes it a point to leave flowers at it whenever she can #the paper also had his birthdate and deathdate #she doesn't know who clockwork is but she's heard phantom talk highly of him #so she trusts that this clockwork fellow wasn't joking around #she also makes it a point to take phantom for ice cream or other treats now that she knows he died so young #she keeps her word #she doesn't contact the fentons #she doesn't look into them #she's not bruce and she knows how to respect a boundary

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ressaart · 3 months

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streets of gotham

#screams #its done #this one gave me so much wrist pain lol #tim drake #red robin #jason todd #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #damian wayne #robin #bruce wayne #batman #also cass and steph are there they're just at the very top of the tallest building i ran out of places to put ppl #so i wont tag them sadly :(#my art #gotham

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spicy-apple-pie · 7 months

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Bruce: I'm so relieved that Tim and Damian are getting along :)

Damian: shoving the antibiotic down Tim's throat like a dog

(Also Bruce: How's karma taste Tim?)

Part 2 from this

...Part 3...

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rubydubydoo122 · 6 months

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I saw someone say a while ago that Jason attacking Tim at Titans Tower was just Tim hallucinating bc he was feeling guilty about being Robin even though Jason's not dead. Which is great, amazing, I think the whole Titans Tower thing is Bonkers, but I think it would be so much funnier if Jason tried to Gaslight Tim into believing the Titans Tower incident never happened, not because he's like evil, he's just super embarassed about it. like Or Tim did actually hallucinate Jason at TT but thinks it was real, so when he tells Jason about it, Jason's so fucking confused, and Tim thinks Jason's Gaslighting him

Tim: Remember that time when you broke into Titans Tower and beat me half to death while wearing a Robin costume from party city

Jason: What? Tim, I know i'm crazy, but I'm not...Insane.

Tim, pulling down his collar: I literally have the scar to prove it

Jason: Bruce told me that was from Clayface pretending to be me, which, might I just say rude. Tim... are you ok? Did you hallucinate me attacking you? like, I know I've done that before, but...

Tim, frowning: I don't think I hallucinating. I was benched for a while after because I had to recover-

Jason: well, you were benched around the time I was dropping hints that I knew who Bruce was outside of Batman, he probably just benched you to keep you safe. You probably were working too many cases with too little sleep and your imagination started to run wild.

Tim: Are you gaslighting me?

Jason: Are you gaslighting me?

#jason todd #tim drake #titans tower #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #schrodinger #they argue about it for eternity #but neither of them check the footage #because they think the argument's so silly #they also never ask Bruce #it would be so easily solved #but if they ask somone they're someone's gonna get in big trouble #Bruce: Jason why are you gaslighting Tim?#Bruce: Tim you need to get more sleep or I'm benching you #Jason honestly doesn't remember a lot from his fresh back to gotham era because he just represses it #so he really doesn't know either #and he's scared to know if it's actually true or not

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birdiegray01 · 9 days

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Bruce gets Damian legos because he’s trying to connect with him and the two end up completely missing patrol because they were to busy building all of Gotham with the legos

#i imagine the others finding them in piles of Lego’s building with a focus that scared them #so they just left them alone and did patrol without them #they were also happy seeing the two bond especially over legos #Damian and Bruce are both autistic coded as well #batman #damian wayne #dc universe #bruce wayne #legos #father son bonding

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batbabydamian · 8 months

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Damian locks himself in his room for the rest of the day. Continuation to this!

bonus:

#damian wayne #bruce wayne #tim drake #Damian fights crime with his hood up for the next few months #also if it’s not clear in the third panel i’m referring to Battinson’s sad wet cat look shsjf #batbabyart

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frownyalfred · 1 month

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“people in the JL hate Batman because he’s so strict” nah. people in the JL hate Batman because all of their sidekicks wanna hang out and train with the batfamily and come home asking questions like “so when are you going to get a plane?” and “why don’t you know how to do [complex judo move]?”

#they’re the cool popular kid table of the JL #but they’re also so weird #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #justice league #jl #batman is sidekick bait #even if it’s not his robins

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feyburner · 11 months

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