"knight posting" this and "guard posting" that. i'm the princess's trusted handmaid who provides her advice and comfort in my soothing, low-class style. i am saying things like "if you don't mind me speaking out of turn, my lady..." and sharing fairy tales and lullabies my sad mother taught me. also i am fucking the jester.
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Daughter of fantasy villains decides to rebel against her parents by actually going through with her arranged marriage to a local golden retriever of a prince instead of running off with some local villain-to-be or conquering said golden retriever’s kingdom and ruling it solo like her parents expect her to. Plus, sue her, she’s into the clean-cut earnest look.
At the same time, local prince charming discovers that he’s actually very into the gothic fiance his parents have landed him with in order to try and establish peace with the local evil lair down the lane, he would never have guessed a spiderweb pattern could look so fetching on a ball gown...?
Meanwhile, two pairs of parents in a tizzy because they both expected their offspring to whole-heartedly reject this union and give them an excuse to conquer their goody-two-shoes/evil neighbours, they’re not supposed to actually like each other-!
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Can't stop thinking about reverse Scott Pilgrim au where Ramona has to fight all of Scott's exes, Punk drummer Kim, Megastar Envy Adams with an army of groupies, Femme fatale Lisa Miller, Jaded obsessive Knives Chau, maybe an alternate timeline version of herself.
And when she's all done it's just kinda Wallace standing there and she's like Wallace what are you doing, I'm meeting Scott's ex here and he just gives this sad shrug smile and she's like Oh and then he pulls out the baseball bat-
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*percy controlling akhlys’ poison to use it against her and choking her on her own tears and saliva*
annabeth: never do it again. never do anything like it again. i’m begging you
many years later
*percy and annabeth’s teenage children being held at knifepoint by enemies, seconds away from being killed*
annabeth: percy, do it
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More Baby Annabeth thoughts to ruin your day:
In the show, Echidna explains that monsters trach demigods by smelling their fear; it’s part of the hunt. Once a demigod is aware of who they are and why they’re in danger, monsters will come for them. Annabeth was constantly hunted by monsters from the age of 5. MEANING THIS LITTLE BABY ANGLE WAS SCARED AND ALL HER STEPMOTHER AND FATHER DID WAS MAKE HER FEEL LIKE ITS HER FAULT!!! SHE WAS SO ALIENATED FOR TWO YEARS AND BLAMED HERSELF!!!
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