#but now ive been reminded.

[louhearted]

love being humbled and being reminded that doing a PhD is really not for me. i am struggling so hard with my MA thesis, lordy. independent research with a deadline set far enough in the future that my brain can't feel any urgency but close enough that i have a constant anxiety tummy ache anyway while not doing anything because my brain is only static white noise? hell.

#college #my thoughts #and i had already made peace with that okay? i have. #even told my dad who totally flipped out because he thinks too highly of me #and thinks the only thing that's gonna make me happy is doing a phd and staying in academia #but just. for a few days there i was like. why did you decide against pursueing a phd actually? this seems fun? #but now ive been reminded. #this ain't .... it #if tomorrow doesnt go any better i will literally SCREAM #anyway... im going home now #who the fuck am i kidding at this point. #i wrote 3 sentences in the 6 hours ive spent in the library dflkgh #i have 37 days left........................

[ruporas]

endless love!

[ID Two drawing collage pages of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. In the first collage, top corner, Wolfwood looks upwards disgruntled with a flushed expression, lying against a pillow, as his hair is being pet by Vash's hand. Next shows Vash and Wolfwood from behind, Wolfwood with his top bare and hickies covers around his nape area. Vash lifts hair away from his nape and asks, "More?" Wolfwood nervously says, "No." Next is a side profile of Vash, his arms around Wolfwood from behind while Wolfwood rests his hands against Vash's arms. Next to this are two smaller drawings; Vash turns to Wolfwood and says repetitively, "Wolfwood, Wolfwood..." Wolfwood, not looking at him, says "What?" He finally turns his head and looks shocked as he exclaims, "So close!" Vash says plainly, "You just noticed?" Below these is a drawing of Vash and Wolfwood sitting together as Vash kisses and hugs him from behind with his right arm around Wolfwood's neck and his left hand around his side. He also has his right leg propped against Wolfwood's knee. Bottom of the page has a comic. Wolfwood looks annoyed, speaking to himself, "Where is that idiot?! Need to get out of town before--" A chat bubble exclaims, "Wolfwood!" The next panel shows Vash running from the townspeople, small text saying "Get him! Vash the stampede!". Wolfwood, mad and about to pull the Punisher off his shoulder, says, "Argh, you fucking dumbass!" Vash exclaims, "Ah, don't!" before pulling Wolfwood into a quick kiss. He then tugs on Wolfwood's collar and says, "There's no need to shoot, just run!" Wolfwood stammers, "R-right..." with a flushed, dumbstruck expression.

Second collage; Top left, Wolfwood spoons Vash in bed, his arms around his chest and the other beneath Vash's head. Vash has his hand on top of Wolfwood's as he sleeps while Wolfwood lies awake. Behind this drawing is faint sketches of Vash's face. In a small panel, Wolfwood hides in Vash's neck as he mumbles to himself "Stop. Stop thinking embarrassing things, Wolfwood..." Beneath this drawing is another of them in bed, Vash now turned to Wolfwood and a hand on his cheek as he kisses him good morning. In a simpler style, Vash wraps an arm tightly around wolfwood with the text "snork mimimi" next to him while Wolfwood says, "We need to get up. Spikey! HEY!" In this corner, there are faint sketches of Vash and Wolfwood; one of them looking at each other; Vash kissing Wolfwood's forehead; Wolfwood saying, "Hand" with an outstretch hand and Vash says "ok" behind a drawing of them holding hands, both turned away from each other shyly. Next is a 4 panel comic. First shows Wolfwood's face getting squished by Vash's hands with the text "squish" around his face. Next, his cheeks are stretched with the text "Chee--" Wolfwood then hits Vash's face with his palm, exclaimining "That hurts!" The last shows Vash on Wolfwood's lap, smiling to himself as he continues to have Wolfwood's face in his hands. Next to this is another comic; A close up of their hands, Vash holding Wolfwood's with both of his. He then kisses the palm of Wolfwood's palm and says, "They're soft!" Wolfwood looks at him with flushed cheeks, "There's no way that's true..." END ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #just posting first for now!!! wanted to have these two spreads together grah #ive been weirdly selective when it comes to posting on tumblr but i really need to start dropping everything from twitter/insta onto here... #anyway what is there to say... i like to just draw them being in love and silly. there are so many flavors to vw #and i so happened to really enjoy the intimate sickeningly affectionate aspect of it... lays down... #give these two touch and loved starved selfless individuals the chance to pour their entire being into loving the other.... #thoguh in particular i drew these both for wolfwood wednesday (which is everyday to me) so theyre wolfwood centric #i think for some time i was just seeing a lot of work of vash being loved by wolfwood and obviously that makes sense #ww loves that fool so much and will love him two times as much for the love vash refuses to give himself #but i also love wolfwood and desperately needed to see wolfwood being loved so i drew it #bc it goes both ways... i def believe that ww would be adamant about giving affection to vash at first bc vash would hesitate asking #but once he gets comfortable vash's love pours and he'd noticed too that ww avoids getting spoiled affectionately bc of his own issues #vash is. stubborn to me. more so than wolfwood. he will destroy him with love!!!!!!!!!!! #and wolfwood will adjust and get used to it. being loved. loving. steadily but slowly as his days are filled with soft touches and reminders #that he's being handled gently and with care for the first time in a long time #ruporas art

[gray-warden]

I just realized I never posted photos of this really pretty harvestman i came across a while back. Note the green pedipalps and the dark and light spots on its back.

#opiliones #arachnids #chelicerata #bugs #harvestman #bugblr #the light spots were a very light green iirc (it's been a while) but they just look white here #there's a photoset of a really cool harvestman going around and it reminded me of this one and i realized i never posted these pics #spider #(ik they arent spiders but i'm tagging it as that for blacklist purposes #bc i imagine that someone who's really scared of spiders probably doesnt care that actually opiliones are not spiders just close relatives) #i think its so cool how i didnt even know opiliones were a thing until a couple of years ago and now i see them all the time #turns out they're pretty common around here #(not that i never saw them before i mustve just assumed they were spiders) #theyre usually not as pretty as this one though #most of the ones i see are just black or dark brown #also i have a massive backlog of pictures ive never posted of bugs and other nature stuff #my stuff #my posts #outside tag #nature

[cherrirui-official]

"You know... You didn't have to take that with you."

"But I promised him I'd take him out to see the ocean one day."

#for context uhmm how do i explain this #so around a few weeks after Jd arrives Bruce is like “Hey... where are the others?” #and Jd is like “ooooh 🤪🤪 he doesnt know...” #Since at this time JD believes that the entire tribe is dead. including his brothers and grandma #so Jd has to take Bruce to the now abandoned troll tree and give him the bad news #Bruce doesnt believe it at first. even if the tree is abandoned they cant be dead? right?? they cant be #so he rushes over to their grandma's pod. thinking that theyre just in hiding and waiting for them to return #and all Bruce is able to find in the empty pod is Branch's old stuffed toy Croco #which solidifies to Bruce that everyone is dead. their friends their family. everyone #Bruce is obviously devastated by the news. he doesnt show it a lot but he doesnt take it too well #he ends up bringing Croco with him back to Vacay Island and patches Croco up #since Croco is a bit worn out due to being left in the pod for years #and since then Bruce always keeps Croco hidden in his hair. both as a memoir of his baby brother #and also a reminder of how he failed as an older brother... ouch #ofc the others arent dead. its just that now both Jd AND Bruce believe that the rest of the trolls are dead #also King Trollex is there bc i wanted to put him there. I like Trollex :] #a knee ways more bb au art i promise the next bb au art will be lighthearted #tho now im gonna work on the next violet gijinka batch bc ive been starving my friendlocke audience for too long #sorry friendlocke fans ill feed u next dw #cherris canvas #trolls #trolls band together #trolls john dory #john dory trolls #trolls bruce #bruce trolls #king trollex #beach bros au #sorry for rambling in the tags i hope u dont mind ahaha

[gentlenotes-moved]

hey, you guys. life gets so much more fun when you let yourself enjoy the small pleasures of life, love your friends loudly and wholeheartedly, and let yourself be loved.

#reminders #gentle reminders #healing #positivity #mental health #self care #self love #self healing #wholesome #encourgement #quotes #inspiration #inspirational quotes #mine #no bc honestly #i'm squishing really hard on an old friend of mine so i'm feeling particularly giddy lately lmao #but like!!!!! god when i was in late elementary/middle school i used to almost never show my friends much affection #or tell them how much i love and care about them. i think i was just scared they would think i was overbearing. #but now..... lately ive been trying to show the people in my life that i love them a fuck ton #so life tip!!!!! tell your friends you love them. because i promise they love you back :)

[brunetteaura]

going on a heavy restriction of the use of my phone because its ruining my life and genuinely not letting me do things that i want to do consistently bc they feel too hard. i wont live my best life and evolve if i check my phone first thing in the morning if i dont let myself be in silence for the most part of the day and have my hands free if instead of journaling before sleep i go on tumblr and ruin my sleep schedule due to procrastination of that and so and so. like yeah i get things done but i dont like the pacing and the fact that even an hour of my day is being wasted on this stupid device in a mindless way i really want to put my whole attention into this ive already been asking myself a lot of the times what is it that i wanna do so ive been using my phone way less compared to previous years but i need to be more concentrated more focused and serious about it its genuinely a problem like what sense does it make to want to do something and then do it half assed and lazily. feel/think -> action -> result i will put my heart into things because its what i deserve to give to myself

#ive literally had notifications off for 2 months now i listen to very few hours of music compared to my entire life #but i still struggle because i am in fact on autopilot and until i vigilate myself every single time i log somewhere on my phone its #not going away. im already putting a lot of effort since i realized whats been going on but i just wanted to let it out again #and remind myself and give this kick in the butt that this is whats right and truly healthy #genuinely wonder what my brain would be like if i wasnt introduced to social media since i was 9 years old #📝

[luck-of-the-drawings]

oh the dread, oh the worry! you love your sister so much and you need to know shes okay. you trust her but you cant trust the world, and more than anything else you cant trust yourself

#jrwi riptide #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide spoilers #jrwi show #gillion tidestrider #edyn tidestrider #RAHHH IVE HAD THIS ROTTIN IN DRAFTS FOR A BIT but im finally here n ready to POST!!!! #SO THE LIL GILLION AND EDYN ARC HUH?? #gillion as a character makes me so emotional. he means so well yet sucks so bad in every way he wish he didnt #HE CARES SOO MUCH ABOUT HIS SISTER. MAN HAS NEVER CRIED EXCEPT FOR THE DAY HE SAW HER AGAIN #HE WAS SOOO HAPPY TO SEE HER AND FIND OUT SHES OKAY. I ALSO REMEMBER SCREAAAAMIN WHEN SHE FIRST APPEARED #I HAD BEEN THINKIN ABOUT EDYN FOR SO LONG... ohhh older sisters where u at... u understand... only us older sisters get it #andNOW WHERE IS SHE..? WHERE IS SHE NOW.... working with the navy to 'undo' what the undersea has done to her precious baby brother #OKAY ENOUGH EMOTIONS TIME FOR ME TO TALK ABT MY ART #REAAALLY THIS IS ONE OF MY BEST DOODLE PAGES SO FAR. IM SO PROUDA THE COLORS N THE SCENES AND THE EMOTIONS #the lil scene with edyn comforting gillion after 'a day of alot of failure. that was the first we ever saw of edyn right? i love my colors #A MIRROR! edyn painted in red when shes often blue. framed by rock and coral and memory sharing bracelets and fire. #A MEMORY! a recent event! finding her at the bar and meeting her at a tavern. its cathartic to hear your older sister tell you its okay #even more cathartic to have her remind you that you are not your tragedies. you were just a kid. you didnt deserve what happened. #you really missed having her here #OH BUT THE NEXT. A NOTE LEFT BEHIND. NOTHING ELSE. i love you a million gillion #BUT THATS NOT A REASSURANCE IS IT? its a trust fall. emphasis on the fall. emphasis on the needle in your chest as wind rushes past #you anticipate the ground but you wish you could anticipate her arms. you wish you could trust. you need to trust. so why cant you? #instead you lash out. again. just like last time. just like always. you were never good at controlling your emotions #all you do in the end is break stuff. none of them can trust you. thats why she cant tell you. thats why he didnt tell you. noone trusts yo #chips got way too many damn belts btw. put some o those back boy u do NOT need all that mess jingling around ur gay hips. you FRUIT!!!!!!!! #I liked the scene with jay n chip dragging gillion around. its a comical scene ofc and i LOVE that balance here. but that sadness remains. #they care about gillion so much..... auuwuuuu..... #OKAY FINAL THOUGHTS. I RLY LIKE DRAWING DIFFERENT TEARS FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF CRYING #when the tears well up so big from uncontainable joy that you cant even see

[todayisafridaynight]

they are serious yakuza men having serious yakuza-related discussions

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 3 #yakuza 3 #daigo dojima #yoshitaka mine #snap sketches #i must remind everyone i still think of them #also i got into this argument with my friend the other day </3 im a filthy mint ice cream enjoyer </3 #i was actually drawing something else- lowkey has a similar punchline now that i think about it... #might save that for a later date then #maybe not.. idk its kinda cute.... #anyway team mint ice cream where we at #ps i havent drawn mine in forever and it shows he feels so foreign to draw for me now #tho ig ive never been totally satisfied with how i draw him huh #ok bye

[mythtiide]

(comically late) valentines day falkler doodles

#signalis #signalis falke #signalis adler #what i mean is that most of these were drawn around/on valentines day but im just posting them here now! #anyways #i filled my bulletjournal and ive been using a sketchbook i got for my birthday #the covers cute but the paper is so SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! #my pencil glides across it kinda awkwardly . and the texture reminds me of slightly thicker humid printer paper #i also find it a bit difficult to really get a wide arrange of shades w a pencil like i did w the bullet journal (though this may just be a- #-skissue .. i am honestly a bit heavy handed when i draw) #anyways ive been thinking about buying another bullet journal cause i really liked these ones …. #they have little ribbon bookmarks and a little pocket to keep papers n things which i greatly enjoued …. hmmmmmmmmmmm #myth.sketches

[jaekaicx]

the trio always default to hanging out at anne's house, because to sasha and marcy, her place has always felt more like home than their own. its instinct for the three of them, at the end of a long day of school and sports and clubs, for their feet to walk the path to anne's house. her parents already know to have five place settings prepared. they keep the sleeping bags in anne's closet. anne hardly ever spends her nights alone anymore.

until one day, anne returns home without them

she isnt alone, far from it. her house is still anything but quiet. but it doesnt feel whole. the small signs, the remnants of their presence she hardly ever noticed before, are all that she sees. the bodies she falls asleep next to dont hold that same warmth

#tl;dr: sasha and marcy are in anne's walls #someone i follow on insta was talking about how sashannarcy spent nearly every night together #that theyd have 'official sleepovers' with scare dares and all-nighters #but also nights where they just stay over at each others places and thats how theyd spend most of their nights #and ive always loved the idea that after season 2 anne just sees sasha and marcy everywhere when she's back home #everywhere she looks theres some kind of reminder of them #sasha's gradfiti. a new book in marcy's favorite series. the initials carved in anne'a bedpost. #the stars the three of them stuck to her ceiling. their toothbrushes in her bathroom. they havent been used in months. #they probably shouldve been thrown out by now #their presence is even louder in their absence #and that just makes it harder for anne to not think about them #amphibia #anne boonchuy #marcy wu #sasha waybright #sashannarcy #yk what i mean? #j rambles #k.txt

[puppyeared]

Jitterbug

#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it #and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago #bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o) #well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall #im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot #i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing???? #i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T #because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks #at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better #its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh #in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats #mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year #i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o) #THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o( #yapping #my art #myart #doodles #personal #diary

[rozugold]

Oh wow look at that, it’s the thing that took a whole year to make lol

#dream smp #dream smp animatic #protégé!tommy au #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #Tubbo #my animatic #well I started working on it consistently like a few months ago #but ive been meaning to make this for almost a year now #so yayyy can’t wait for you guys to see it #in two days wooo #go set your reminders >:D!! #im probably gonna be very annoying with rbing this in the next few days #so sorry in advance skhdjdk #Youtube #painted illusions

[sea-buns]

Holy fuck, man. What a trip Fearne has been on, huh?

You tell her how grateful you are to have her in your life, you flatter her, you tell her you need her, that you have to do this together. You have her make a promise that has this woman, born of chaos and fey, agreeing through shaking hands and a trembling voice.

You make her deceive your friends; you make her follow where they cannot know; you make her help you into this contraption; you make her feed this thing into you despite the fact that you both have been warned extensively of the risks. You make her watch you crumble and splinter and shatter and fracture and burst and implode. You make her watch you die, over and over and over and over, for a minute in agonizing bullet time.

You make her do all these things, because when she tries to back out, when she tries to not be the one who let you do this—how could you do this—

you tell her, "YOU PROMISED."

Because if there's one thing you know, it's that the fey do not break a promise.

#cant wait for her to fucking pissed for a very long time. shes really packing the entire human experience in a very short period of time. #critical role #cr spoilers #c3e77 #fearne calloway #ashton greymoore #bells hells #just gonna get ahead of the um actually mfs and state that i am aware that its not confirmed that thats why ash brought up the promise #but boy howdy would it make for some great drama down the line huh? #edit: apparently i did not get ahead enough cuz ive had to turn off replies #since ppl were somehow interpreting this mini introspection piece as me infantilizing fearne?? #anyway the first line is now changed to something a bit more neutral. after sleeping on it i do see how it was a bit aggressive at the top #other than that im not sure how else to reword without completely disregarding the core of the post #i might make more posts addressing this but im not sure yet. i wanna try to approach it in the best way possible. #but if it helps any the point of the post was not to say fearne had no agency. she had plenty of moments where she tilted one way or the #other. the POINT was to just shine some light on the emotional pressure she had been put under. #hasnt your friend ever asked you to keep a secret or promise that felt wrong or unsafe or made you anxious? #it has nothing to do with the amount of agency she had. ash wasnt holding a knife to her throat and forcing her to follow against her will #all i was trying to do was take this detail about his reminder of the promise that i thought was interesting and have some fun writing an #overview of the kinda stress she was under BEFORE theyd reached that scene. this entire ep was everyone discussing how grateful they were #for this family theyd made. and while im not saying ash was PURPOSELY emotionally manipulating fearne.. #there is a level of unintentional manipulation when you pair the severity of his request with the convo theyd had 2 seconds prior #as well as the desperate need they all have to save each other NO MATTER WHAT. #ash was giving incredibly strong energy of a friend who peer pressures you into helping them do something that you know in your gut WILL #cause problems. hes a fucked up guy. theyre all fucked up guys. even if he didnt mean to “force” her into anything the pressure was THERE. #<- i feel like all of this overall gets my message across. i think maybe ill clean it up later into its own post. #im gonna try not to rush myself to get it done tho. #im under no obligation to explain myself. especially when ppl approach the misunderstanding by being rude af. but i do think it CAN #be clarified so id at least like to try to some degree

[birdricks]

#rick and morty #the morty one is a joke but also might end up being an actual copium take #also uou alresdy know mine. bitchhhh #im tryyyyyying my best to keep my expectations lol. failing #ooooooh s7 finale give us Anything #ummm my opinion on these. #i actually kidna dont want prime back. i think it wld detract from ricks arc unless they did it some special way #BIRDRICKKKKK. i dont thinkit will happen 💔💔💔 but if it cld at least get mentioned in passing i cld die happy for now #also not a huge believer of swap theory… ive seen like one or two moments where it works well but idk #i dont quite understand what the point of that wld be …..? but who knows maybe #diane… i wlddd like to see her but only in a flashback or smth. and give her some personality #i think theres been enough reminders of her recently …. like her ghost u know. lets get smth Real #altho a possibilty to undo the omega device wld be interesting. but unrealistic i feel #um. yeah. i actually just really want morty to get to Do smth this season #like u know i love rick lore. but we are in DESPERATE need of a morty arc #rnm spoilers

[emodennis]

dennis reynolds/jeff winger - cooler than me

#dennis reynolds #jeff winger #iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #community #community nbc #nbc community #iasip edit #community edit #jeff winger edit #dennis reynolds edit #my edits #my stuff #guys i am weeping tears of joy ab the result of this video is2g its been in my mind ever since i started rewatching community #jeff is becoming a new blorbo solely because of how much he reminds me of dennis #i mean ok ive always loved jeff but never as much as i do now #i hope there's an audience for this #also this isnt even all the parallels ive documented. i might make a proper compilation once i finish community and have all the parallels

[jenna-louise-jamie]

oh my god. a detail i just noticed trying to search for screen grabs during episode 8 season 2 of alex rider: yassen, after shooting damian cray, his right hand was trembling as he was holding the gun up because he'd just been shot. he offers up the gun to alex. alex takes it, points it at back at yassen, but his hand is also trembling. not as noticeable at first but as soon as yassen starts explaining alex's hand shakes as bad as yassen's did and he throws the gun down, then gets on the floor to try and help yassen.

#oh my god i need to rewatch the whole show i said i would but ive been so busy 😭 #theres probably so many details i missed the first time around cause i wasnt familiar with the story!!! #and i was watching it for fun #i need to rewatch now like immediately #i dont know why this struck me as much as it did #possibly because it reminds me of the book when alex couldn't bring himself to shoot yassen even though he killed ian rider and alex #promised he would do it? #but he couldn't #aughh its not even that big of a deal but wow!! these two are something else #alex rider #yassen gregorovich #alex rider tv