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#but lesson planning? lots of the materials are at the school anyway
theflyingfeeling · 7 months
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tomorrow-me's gonna hate tonight-me, part 3522
(an incoherent work-related rant in the tags, read if you will but it's boring lol)
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haydenigmatic · 8 months
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writing update (how's it going so far)
I've still got a lot to make, change and process. School is certainly not helping, and will not as the month for lesson planning is near, observation week and now I will be working with 6th grade, make a bunch of class material, but at least I will only be working with six students -hope to survive-
So as you can see I did not have much time to be on tumblr or the forum, but I will try to make a schedule or something to create more time for me to write more, even sometimes I feel like I should do more but it's time that's stopping me.
Anyway, again I do not want to set a date for updates, as I think I would be pressured and hurry to deliver and I want to make something that I can be actually excited about, I'll be honest I didn't liked my last update, it feels as a filler bunch of choices and words so I've been working on that, so hope to finish that sooner or later rather than never.
-Hayden H.
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alyjojo · 2 months
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March 🌞 2024 Monthly - Gemini
Preshuffle: You already know all you need to know about a situation you’ve gone back and forth on. Enough to start planning your next step forward. I’m getting you feel like you don’t but you actually do, even if it’s just intuitively, then you’re being validated in that case. A decision that’s being made is the right call.
Meditation: Omggg this video. Idk what it’s called, something with Candy Mountain, it’s one of the OG YouTube videos to not make any sense but go viral anyway. I choked on my coffee, the first thing I heard was “Candy Mountain Charlieeee” and I died ☠️ It’s been a long time. You could have a couple of excitable goobers (kids?) around you, ready for adventure, maybe getting on your nerves and purposely poking you if you’re grumpy. It should make you smile (or make you hide and take a looooong shower) 😶‍🌫️
Main energy: Wheel of Fortune
Yours is kinda similar to Taurus’s, you could have that in your chart too. Different but similar, they’ve already healed their past and Spirit is like “you’re next”. Wheel of Fortune is change, karma, things outside of your control, Spirit always moving in the background to help little serendipitous events aid you along the way, sending messages and sparking your intuition, whether conscious or not. This also feels like Jupiter, especially with Luck attached to it. That’s coming soon, this Wheel can show time, and before Jupiter moves into Gemini in…June? I think, you’ll need to let some old stuff go. 2 Wands is here with Discovery, your future is ahead of you, not behind you, exploring new possibilities, not the same old traumas ❤️
What’s going on in March:
8 Cups:
You’ve inevitably had to leave some things and people behind, and some things and people have left you too. For some this could be material, a house, a job, your favorite car, a lot of money, some actual 3D thing you can touch. It’s also inevitable you’ve had to leave behind some plans, maybe childhood plans. You always wanted to be a vet but never really wanted to go to vet school - now you’re a whatever-you-are, beating yourself up over not just being a vet. Contracts or partnerships may have left you in financial debt. Loneliness is at the bottom of the oracles, you lost people too. I see 6 Cups here and The Hermit rev, some of you may wonder if all is lost or can you bring the past back to life in some way? So far I just see the new is ahead, Discovery, looking forward. The past had some great times but it had a lot of pain too. And things have changed - Wheel of Fortune - how they needed to.
The Moon:
This is what you fear, what you can’t see, things that give you anxiety, because they are unclear to you. Whatever you lost, or left behind, had an opportunity come in with it - Ace of Pentacles. You couldn’t see that at the time, maybe you’re well on your way now. Moon Capricorn seems to mirror this Page of Pentacles, you left behind things that weren’t good for you, The Devil. Toxic even, had you in chains, wrapped you up in addictions or other unhealthy things that would’ve made things so much worse had they/you held onto them as it had been before it ended. This can be financial too, tied up in something that wouldn’t have given you what you thought it would - or hoped it would. Friends or people around you could’ve fit under these descriptions too, and it was unconscious to you at the time. Whatever has happened was for your benefit - or for a lesson. If someone or something has left - it’s to avoid a thing getting worse, or toxic, or it already was, that’s why it had to be this way. You could blame yourself or assume things that aren’t true but fit with a narrative you tell yourself - could be a fearful/paranoid one.
6 Cups:
Heavy nostalgia, old friends, the way things were, childhood, memories. You’re heavily connected to these things, maybe to the point of being lost in them. 5 Cups is deep sadness, regret, remorse, and being ruled by Scorpio, obsessive *fixation* on what’s been lost - not what’s still here. 2 Cups is still here. Someone or something you love, something very dear to your heart. But you focus on the loss, could be friends, plans, dreams, things you signed up for (or contracts you signed) that you wish you never would have because it kicked your bum later on. You can’t change it, and this is saying you’re only stuck if you keep yourself stuck. Maybe you have been on purpose. Practicality is here and again is mirrored with this Page of Pentacles - it’s like logic has been overcome by emotion and that’s what’s taking control or has for some time. It keeps you stuck. It’s possible you’ve gone through mourning something, not all but for someone this energy is very heavy, and if so I’m giving you a great big hug 🤗
10 Swords:
This row brings some depth to the pain you’ve felt, 10 Swords is betrayal, feeling stabbed in the back, maybe by several people - 5 Wands. Arguments and fights you’ve gotten into may have been due to toxic behaviors or old mindsets that don’t even exist anymore, but they’ve changed everything. You could regret a lot of things. For some there are literal contracts you regret, Commitment being the other Oracle specify binding contracts and Page of Pentacles shows the same thing here. Things your name is financially tied to, may not have gone well and left you in a lot of debt you’re trying to dig yourself out of. Could be a divorce you regret (or a marriage that ended in divorce), partnerships or agreements that ended in betrayal, bankruptcy, I’m seeing one of those Title Loan places, etc. Why couldn’t it be healed, or delayed a little longer? Why didn’t you apologize at the time or do xyz? For someone, there could be regret over sex, a soul contract even, wishing you’d never have even gone there. You’re also thinking of apologies & closure to things you’ve never gotten, and probably never will, for most. Things you never said. Heavy energy this month, but it all has a purpose in this reading - to feel it, hopefully start releasing it, and looking forward.
The Hermit rev:
Clarified by 9 Cups, you just want to go back to whatever specifically is on your mind. A person, a time period, the good old days, whatever the thing, you’re heavily fixated on moving backwards when Spirit is trying to move you forwards. Death follows, you can’t bring things back, and even if you did it wouldn’t be the same. You’ve changed! Wheel of Fortune. Others have changed too, everything has, we can’t even keep a business open over by me for more than a couple years nowadays, everything changes constantly, and seemingly faster the more time passes.
Advice: Can Gemini bring this thing back? 6 Swords…moving away from the drama of the past, taking your experiences, lessons, family, children, and all of the demons hovering in/around your mind & moving on altogether, because you have to. It’s leaving 5 Swords, bitterness, conflict, tit for tat energy, irritation at how things went vs how they could have. Caution at the bottom of the astro Oracle deck. But Wheel of Fortune with Luck is very positive, and so is 2 Wands, there is a lot to look forward to if you look ahead instead of behind. Discovery has an enthusiastic vibe, finding new things to fall in love with, new friends, new experiences altogether. People tend to only miss the past if the present isn’t that great, so what could be done to change right now - to recreate things you miss in a new way? Maybe you miss your old cat, but she’s gone now…you could get a new cat, or even something totally different that changes your life. A lizard, who becomes your best friend, who’d have thunk it? What’s something you’ve always wanted to do, you’re about to have the green light 🚦
Side note: It could be a good time to start playing the lottery, regularly 💯
Signs you may be dealing with:
Heavy Pisces, Scorpio, Virgo & Sagittarius
Oracle: ✨
12 Truth 🦅
The eagle proudly surveys its domain from such a high perch that all pertaining to this situation are revealed. The shadows hide nothing from your keen vision. Once you can remove yourself from the muck that lower vibrations keep you in, you can attain a viewpoint that enables you to see the truth of the matter. This card advises you to search for the truth of the situation, regardless of the emotions it brings up. Are you or someone connected to you unconsciously suppressing the truth? Hiding from the truth can only intensify the lesson later on.
Commitment 🪢
Binding - Obstruction - Contract
Luck 🍀
Jackpot - Fortune - Reward
We enter into March as:
Rose Without Thorns 🌹:
“It is time to face my true feelings.”
You are most fortunate. As we mature, we learn that to enjoy the beauty of a rose, we must occasionally risk getting pricked by a thorn. You are not facing “the same situation”, this is the dawn of feelings being awakened and a new truth being born. You’re being presented with a different way to live. Trust you will know what to do. Stay open. Time changes us all if we’re lucky, it’s time to surrender and make the change. The best incentive to change is often love.
What is to be learned in March:
Sun Sparkler 🎇:
“Integrity is what turns on the light.”
Sun Sparkler reminds us that it is through kindness to others and being of service that we are abundant. Are you living your life as fully as you can? Are you being honest and kind to others? Do you hold the door open for people on the elevator, or let it close? Do you let people merge over in traffic, or pretend not to see them? When we put a blinder on one area of life, it creates the same blind spot in every area. You can’t shut out pain without shutting out pleasure too. Sun Sparkler reminds you of the miracle of honesty, it leads to integrity. You may have done work for another but do not expect a reward, revel in alignment with Spirit, self-esteem is the gift. You’ve been elevated to a new level spiritually, continue to serve others and life will prosper beyond your wildest dreams.
Yellow may be a lucky color 💛
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kawaiichibiart · 2 years
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Prosekai Leaders Headcanons
Let's talk about Minori's relationship with her fellow Sekai Leaders :)
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Thanks to the stunts he's been pulling with Rui, Tsukasa has begun to train himself to be more flexible. He and Minori will sometimes meet up to do some stretches or yoga before either doing their own thing, or doing their dance practice together.
Ichika and Kohane have both been called to get Minori to take a break. Usually this results in the trio spending time together outside the Lead SEKAI as well.
Kanade gives Minori some carnations to use as inspiration for her next Idol costume.
As I mentioned in the last Prosekai Leaders Headcanons post (which focused on Ichika), Minori asked Ichika for guitar lessons.
Kohane and Minori planned one of their double dates to take place at PXL. Unfortunately, it began to rain, hard, during their double date and both girls' girlfriends had to tell them they could always come back another day and that they should find shelter before they got sick.
Spoiler alert, Kohane got sick anyways, and Minori did everything she could to make sure she didn't fall behind in school and to just say sorry, even though she had no control of the weather changing on them when it was originally meant to be a clear, sunny, day.
Tsukasa helps Minori make her Idol costumes. While she can make them on her own, Tsukasa has a lot more materials she can use.
Kanade and Minori sometimes skip movie night in the Lead SEKAI. As I've mentioned in an earlier headcanons list, neither of them like horror. So sometimes they decide to just, not watch said movies when movie night comes around.
Ichika has Minori show her where she got her otter t-shirt. Minori ends up helping jer find some shirts for her and the rest of Leo/need.
Kohane asks Minori for date ideas for her and An. Ichika is both girls go to in terms of a long lasting relationship, but for more one on one dates, they tend to go to each other.
Kanade ends up joining Minori and Tsukasa whenever they do yoga together.
Ichika loves it whenever Minori tells her about how far she progresses on the guitar outside of their lessons together. To this day, the video Kohane sent her of Minori playing a song for Haruka is her favorite of Minori playing the guitar.
Kohane and Minori made matching patches for a group quilt they were all making during Tsukasa's mandatory arts and crafts day.
Ichika, Tsukasa and Kohane actively try to catch MMJ streams live so they can cheer on Minori. Kanade watches as well but she's more of a silent support than a loud one.
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pinkiepiebones · 1 year
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First night of a new year and the dreamwalker shows up.
Dreamed started in a grocery store. I was apparently looking in clearance bins for summer hats and sandals because "winter is the best time to buy that shit" I told myself. Contemplated some weird heel-less "high heeled" sandals (they had the height of a heeled shoe but no actual high heel and had more material on the front than a sandal usually does) and a floppy purple sun hat but didn't take them. Saw a display of, like, cartoon character cereal and flavourings? Like the Flintstone Pebbles cereals but also Jetsons cereals and fried chicken seasoning? Took a picture to send to @senpaichan because apparently in both the waking world and dreamscape I love to inflict grocery pain on him. Then I heard the opening of "Zombie Queen" and donned a Prequelle-era ghoul mask and made my way to a small stage in the middle of the grocery store.
And by small stage I mean, like, something a middling high school with very little theatre budget would have. A barely elevated flat stage and no seating so everyone just kinda sat criss-cross on the floor. No lighting, no backdrop, nothing. And there were no ghouls, nor Papa. Just Tobias sitting on the edge of the stage- well, the stage was so short he was more like leaning his hips against it than sitting. His feet were firmly on the ground. I'm bad at explaining. Anyway. It was just him with an accoustic guitar and a small projector screen just over his right shoulder. And I got to sit right in front of him because a lot of people left as soon as they saw that it wasn't a proper Ghost show.
And even though there were a couple dozen people there on the floor with me, it felt like Tobias was only really speaking to me. He barely played guitar; instead he spent most of the "performance" talking about art. Lot of eye contact with me. The projection screen showed art his kids had done when they were younger, things he himself had sketched or painted, some little abstracty sculptures he had attempted ( "asparagus poodle" ), landscape photographs he had taken on Ghost tours... I was desperately trying to take down information on carbon paper(?) for future lesson plans. He at one point asked us all if we had heard of Dan P-something (Pavlovic? Parkochev? It was a P name with a V sound at the end) and when I said yes he came over and put his hand on my head and looked me in the eye and said "how old are you?" To which I answered "older than you think" and he said "good enough" and went on talking about the influence this Dan guy had had on his own house drawings, then showed off some surrealy houses he had drawn- like, a house but all of the windows were on the left side, a house with an upside down roof, a house with no front door, etc.
TLDR- Tobias Forge walked into my dreamscape again to give a presentation on art.
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fizzingwizard · 10 months
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(Complaining)
Today I got to work. The first hour was teaching my extracurricular class. Then I went directly to my homeroom class, taught their lesson, then sat with my wigglers for the next teacher's lesson because otherwise they run around in the back of the room screaming. (IMHO our school expects two year olds to sit for lessons for way too long. It's 45-50 min total. But I've suggested at least breaking up the lessons before and am always told no by the leaders. I do let the wigglers check out and go read a book or do a puzzle when they really can't sit, because I just think it's ridiculous that two year olds should have so little freedom... but Japan... anyway)
After that I had to frantically get ready for our craft and activity time. Usually I do that during my co-teacher's lesson, but this year there are too many wiggly kids, and my third co-teacher tries to help but because we have so many kid she also has too much she needs to do during that time... After that, we get ready for lunch. Got a lot of kids this year who refuse to eat anything but rice. More than usual. So lunch is pretty much us standing to observe and sneaking quick bites of our own lunches when we can between helping kids eat and encouraging them to eat a teeny tiny bite of literally anything besides rice.
Then they play. We have to take them to the bathroom, clean the tables and chairs, clean the floor, pack away the lunches, change the diapers, log information about lunch and daily activities in their individual notebooks, help the kids pack their bags, and refill their water bottles, while watching them play. Then we do a gross motor activity, then we read a storybook, and then the kids go to nap time.
It's four hours of constantly moving, talking, standing, squatting. Never sitting, lol. Now we do our best to convince the kids sleep is a good idea. I stay through part of my "break" finishing those notebooks. Then I go do my cleaning duty. Then I go to the computer and fill out the required report on our day. Then I have to do 20 assessments, go through all the photos we've taken so far to make scrapbooks of 24 photos for all 20 kids, organize all their crafts and worksheets into the scrapbook, review and upload our class time videos for the parents, plan events, go shopping for materials, make the materials for the next craft, write the newsletter for the parents, and create my lesson plan for next month. I have an hour to do this. I am not being paid for this hour. (Also it's often not even a full hour, but 30 min here, 15 min there.) It is so fucking impossible lol. And the assessment and stuff, it's worse because it's redundant as well as ridiculous. We JUST assessed the same sort of stuff in the kids' progress reports less than a month ago, and now we have to do it all over again with very slight variation for every single kid, AND this assessment will be used to evaluate the kids' readiness for next level, which is just silly because the majority of those who haven't reached certain benchmarks yet will have reached them by the end of the year... utterly silly.
So during this hour I do as much of that as I can, which today meant I did the reports, did some lesson planning, and managed to finish ONE assessment. I have sooo much left to do. When when when. Where is the time for it. I'm not paid a salary. I'm hourly. They literally expect me to do it on my unpaid breaks and whatnot. And it's not even stuff that can be accomplished in an hour - especially when everyone else also needs to accomplish the same things, we're all off duty at the same time, and first come first serve at the computers haha.
Now that hours up, so I go to wake the kids, all 1-3 yos, from their nap. One of the kids throws a tantrum, so my co-teacher takes him outside. They're gone for fifteen minutes, which is precious time right now because there is, again, so much to do. Wake all the kids, get them in their shoes, sitting at the table, drinking their water. Clean up their futons. Take their temperatures. Document stuff in their notebooks agaaaain. Hand out allergy snacks. Hand out home snacks. Hand out school snacks. Check everything off on a plethora of checklists. As they finish, wipe their hands and faces, make them drink more water, help them clean up, check their diapers, change their diapers, watch them play, send them home with their parents or to extracurriculars, clean up the crumbs, clean up the tables and chairs, clean the floor, vacuum, clean up the garbage, watch the kids play.
Because the co-teacher is gone for 15 minutes, I'm the only one, the ONLY one, taking care of all the kids who are eating. I have a kid who will stuff his mouth so full of food that he'll start to choke, so I have to diligently give him one bite at a time until he's finished, in between cleaning. There are two other teachers in charge of diapers and the notebooks (who for some reason just didn't do the notebooks today?? I'm not really sure what happened there). It's supposed to be two and two, so there's no one to help me. I have to do all the cleaning, wiping, diaper-checking, and breaking down by myself. By the time my co-teacher comes back, she's off duty. So I have to deal with tantrum kid too, whose current mood is "say no to everything." He screams while I desperately try to put away all the tables so there's room for kids to walk, and sweep the floor so they don't have to walk on squashed grapes and cake. Between doing all the overseeing and cleaning myself, I was on my feet doing physical stuff for 55 minutes. Usually we're cleaned up in 40 minutes. Ah, there's that 15 minutes. (Not my co-teacher's fault though - the kid needed to be taken care of. It's just that we're expected to do SO MUCH in a single hour.) Also it's really freaking hot, and yeah we use AC, but there's a lot of bodies in the room and when I checked the thermostat, some alien person had set it to 25. I was like nope nope 23, 23 it is. Suddenly the room was a lot more bearable (9_9)
So now I can FINALLY sit down with the kids who are playing. It is literally four minutes till clock out time. I find a kid who threw a fit about changing his diaper, who I'd managed, while cleaning up, to cajole into doing it by himself. He had put his diaper on backwards. I tried to fix it, he tried to run away, he fell and started to cry. This is that kid with the hypersensitive parents I've mentioned before. Guess when his mom decides to arrive? Yup, just that moment.
She acts fine, I fix his diaper, he stops crying and goes off happily. When I go to clock out, I see mom changing his entire outfit. The parents have told us that if their kid sweats, we need to change his clothes. We already change kids' clothes if they get wet or are sweaty. Today we didn't go outside because it's too hot. Their kid didn't get particularly sweaty staying inside. His shirt wasn't wet at all. But the mom changed all his clothes. I am bracing myself to hear about it tomorrow.
But I keep thinking. When the hell was I going to think to change this not sweaty kid's clothes?? At what point during the day did I have a moment to do anything except frantically run around doing as much as I possibly can? I have not sat down all day except to work through my break. I've eaten nothing but a little bit of rice myself because lunch time was so busy. I'm exhausted, hungry, and hot. Someone give me a break to change my sweaty clothes, lol!
I want to do everything possible to keep the kids happy and healthy but I absolutely have no idea when I or my coteachers had a moment to think about anything not 100% essential. I'm just fried.
I felt a little... not vindicated, but seen, I guess, the other week after some leaders came for yearly observations, and their feedback was that our class is doing great, but I'm doing too much. They really encouraged my coteachers to help me more. And while I am most DEFINITELY doing waaaay too much, it's also too much to expect more of co-teachers, because the veteran teacher is also doing a lot more than she should be, and the rookie has only been here a month. She's trying but she hasn't developed the skill for behavior management yet, and she doesn't know how to anticipate what I'm doing. Plus I know she is EXHAUSTED everyday. Last Friday she was so anemic that she had to go lie down and I stayed late to cover her shift. I don't blame her one bit. This is too busy and fast-paced a school for a first-timer learning the ropes. I'm glad it wasn't my first school. She is working really hard and doing so well, and my other co-teacher is amazing. It's none of our fault we just have TOO MUCH WORK, not enough time, and not enough staff.
I'm just counting the days until Obon break, ugh.
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enthusispastic · 1 year
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so what do you teach? why did you choose it? how did you get there? what do you love/hate about it? i’m also a teacher (preschool) trying to figure out my path
I currently teach mostly middle school science, though I have also taught high school biology and other life/earth sciences and high school theater and speech. I chose these subjects because I love them deeply. I chose to teach middle school and high school because teenagers are really cool people and working with them is very rewarding to me. They can connect with the subject on a deep and amazing level and can connect between subjects in a really cool way. Plus they're just cool and fun and funny.
I got into teaching in a really conventional way. I went to college for education and got my BS in secondary ed in my subjects. I was already planning to do science, but I got into theater during college and added that one later in my college career. Since I went to a religious school and started my career in religious private school, they had a call/placement program and that's how I got my first job. After stuff at my first school got shitty and we moved back to my wife's hometown, I applied to my current school and got the job because my arts background set me apart for their program (arts integration focus).
I LOVE working with kids. It's an energy drain to be sure, but the everyday functions of teaching lessons, organizing labs, working with students, and heck even grading are all somewhere between fine and awesome. If that was all there was I'd love it. My current school has a huge community of neurodiverse kids and nerds of every stripe and staying connected to a community of young neurodiverse, queer, and artsy nerd kids by default of the job is heartwarming to say the least. I love seeing kids grow, and the "lightbulb" moments almost make me feel like maybe I don't want to quit at the end of this year. But...
I CANNOT continue teaching though, because that's not all there is. Important and necessary functions of the job that are extraneous to classroom teaching pull me down so bad. I can't keep up with lesson plan documentation, differentiation documentation, constant staff meetings, IEP/504 meetings that pull me out of class, curriculum development, politely kissing admin ass (moreso at my last school than current) to keep my job safe, dealing with parent demands and complaints, keeping up school communication culture, preparing materials for various conferences and showcases, attending school events to "support a culture of school spirit" and every other thing that teaching does to eat your life whole. My disability (ADHD) definitely plays a part here, but even if I did have a typical brain, teaching is a career where you have to give up your own life and individuality, and do it for an audience of people who are VERY often not remotely grateful for it, or only performatively grateful one/two weeks per year. Admin and parents all want to tell teachers how to do their jobs despite limited or no experience, and that's another kind of exhausting. Kids may be cool, but they're also people who are learning their social stuff, and a lot of times that means that they don't know how to be kind or respectful or decent to teachers. I try to be patient and respectful about it and guide them to understanding, but through no fault of the kids' that is not something that a teacher can do 5 days a week for months and not feel like we're dying.
Anyway I hope that helps you. It certainly helped me to put it all out there.
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lilacevans · 2 months
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the math cubes are the bomb and an absolute necessity i never had anything explain math to me so well (as someone who was homeschooled). I wish I could donate to help but I am financially struggling right now, but I do have some advice?
Just a tip: there are so many ways to homeschooling now you don't have to do it all yourself and get burnt out. Obviously it is dependent on what curriculum you use, if any. I know my friend creates their own entirety, which means they set up lesson plans and what the kid learns. Meanwhile I know their cousin does this curriculum where they send these videos and you watch the videos then do the work. Theres even online school for kids now. Granted, idk how any of those methods work because i don't do them myself.
Also, idk how old TD is, but as they get a bit older and can answer questions more comprehensively, have them do a learning styles quiz if you don't already know. Do they learn the best by listening? Explain things or record them so they can listen to it over and over. Visual learner? Math blocks and science experiments, things that actually make it visual. Reading learner? Give them the written material etc. I learned this in university and my god, it was like a breakthrough (not that I didn't get taught when I was younger but it was like a brick wall sometimes and my mother would get frustrated and we would fight)
Homeschooling groups, now obv you would have to investigate, cause there are some good and some bad. Some that almost read cults because what the hell are they indoctrinating their kids with, and some where the parents pulled their kids cause of bullying. Also, some school districts allow homeschooled kids to participate in sports, you have to look up the guidelines for your district. But I recommend a sport (i did gymnastics at a gym) to get that good PE time because I was a kid who only wanted to sit in my room and read
Anyways idk if you even want advice but its all I have to give right now. I hope things go well with you.
i loved them too as a kid! they were a godsend for a girlie with dyscalculia!! we’re following what she wants to do. so lots of history, lots of physical/practical science & maths! as she loves maths. and she’s also learning drums (when she’s with dad) and oh! and lots of reading (she’s currently re-reading the dog man series) and has just started her first big book!!! harry potter!!!! i love her sm. we’re following what she wants to do. for now, it’s home ed. but if she ever wants to go back in the future and the school were confident with has a space then we’ll talk but i’m really excited about home ed!
i’ve also made myself a twinkl acc and if anyone has any other learning site recommendations and places for recourses (free or really cheap) then that’ll be a HUGE help as well. my dad has got me ink and some paper so i have a chance to get a head start with printing off some resources and start to plan lessons around them!!
🎀🤍 wish list here 🤍🎀
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1-deadgirlwalking-1 · 2 months
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3/23/2024
i woke up and then went back to sleep again a few times, i actually woke up at around 3pm. my head hurts and i feel very sluggish. i was productive yesterday, i did the dishes two times, put my laundry in the wash, took a shower, and started my late schoolwork. but today i am not. today i am a blob.
i don't feel like doing anything but i think it's only because my head hurts. i'm getting better though. sometimes i feel bad because i'm like "the other day i was doing so good but today i suck" but my bad days used to be my good days, and my absolute worst days used to be my normal. i'm getting better. i can see the progress as it's happening. and that's good. i still don't brush my teeth hardly ever though, even on my good days. today my teeth are hurting because of that.
anyway i've been learning kana. the only ones i have memorized are あ い う え お き く ア イ ウ エ and オ. which isn't a lot but it's a start. i get very happy whenever i click on a japanese video and am able to recognize characters in the title or subtitles.
i also got signed up for my classes next year. right now i have all A's, my highest grade is 100% my lowest is 90%, so my counselor was encouraging me to take all the honors and AP classes i'm eligible for, but i couldn't say that the only reason my grades are stellar right now is because of me cheating on everything. i don't know hardly any of the material we've learned this year. i finally got a notebook for math class and i'm planning on going through all of my old math lessons and writing everything down so i can actually remember it all. spring break is coming up so that will give me extra time.
for next year i'm signed up for algebra 2, honors english, honors biology, AP history, and japanese. i'm eligible for honors algebra but i'm hesitant on taking it because i'm afraid of getting bad grades, i still have some time to decide. i'm also going to sign up for dual enrollment and if i'm eligible, the two classes i take will replace whichever high school ones i'm signed up for now.
my mom thinks i should take german because i am part german (ethnically) and no one in our family can speak a lick of german, it's been completely forgotten in our family now. and my dad thinks i should take spanish because we're american and that's the most logical to learn. but i don't want to do either of those. i was already planning on learning japanese and my school has a japanese class. why would i not take that?? the only downside is both my family and guidance counselor now think i want to learn japanese because i like anime and that feels extremely slanderous. T^T
i have 7 late assignments to do today. which is a lot for me. but last year i had 60+ late assignments at one point, so it's not that bad.
im typing this last bit out later !!! today started out bad but ended good. i watched mlp and drew myself as a pegasus pony, the anatomy and proportions wasnt correct on some parts but i didnt want to redraw a whole bunch.
my uncle, aunt, and family friend came over today and while everyone was in the kitchen me and my uncle watched television together. it was fun. my uncle has been watching rottmnt with me every time he visits for the past few months, and while we were watching he kept pointing out things he likes about the show and it made me very happy.
he said he loves how the animation goes all out for the fight scenes, and he likes the little easter eggs and references. i told him about my rottmnt AU/OC thing and he was like "do you have a little fanfiction thing going on here?" and i was like "yes" but i haven't actually written it all out as a story, i have the whole timeline and some episode plots written down in a document, but that's it. he told me if i felt comfortable showing him any of my writing he'd love to read it and i told him i write sometimes but i haven't finished anything yet. he said not to worry about finishing anything, which i agree with it, but it would be nice to have at least one finished product to show. then we talked about writing and how we both like it.
my family friend spent most of the time in the kitchen with the rest of the family but sometimes he walked over and would watch some of the show with us for a few minutes. the first time i put it on while he was visiting he didn't like it because it was so different from the version he watched as a kid (87'), but today when we were watching it i told him he has to not think about the other version at all and just watch the show, because if he's only thinking about the ways it's different from the thing he likes, he wont be able to enjoy it as it is.
my uncle also said to think of it like a multiverse where this is a different timeline and all the characters are completely different people from their last version. like obviously that's donatello but it's not YOUR donatello, so it's okay that he's different. which is true but the thing is, i thought that's how everyone thought about remakes and different iterations? i didn't think anyone would watch a NEW iteration in a franchise being like "oh gee oh boy i hope this is a 1 to 1 replica of the specific version i like of these characters and there are no changes whatsoever, otherwise they've ruined it and it sucks." (not that the family friend thinks that way, he doesn't) but it all makes sense now why people act the way they do on the internet when a new version of something comes out.
anyway "they changed this and it's different from the thing i enjoy, therefore it's bad" is not the same as "they changed this and it caused a genuine detriment to the story (and lifeless remakes of existing media for a quick cash grab is bad)" and i wish people understood that. i wish people understood the difference between personal taste and quality.
that's the end of my rant, byebyeeee.
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buttonpusherdiy · 10 months
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2000 Trees 2023 Review
Now in it’s 15th year 2000 trees returned to Upcote farm for a mostly sunny edition with an absolutely stacked lineup - we caught around 30 different artists this year and discovered some great new music.
Arriving a little later than planned on the Thursday morning we found a spot to camp which seemed ideal but later turned out to be a mistake as we realised we had camped by the entrance to the forest school which had a little drum kit set up in the woods which meant festival revellers would play drums all throughout the night but it’s 2000 trees so we just let it slide and popped our earplugs in before calling it a night. Anyway I digress. Onto the bands....
Projector were one of the bands we really wanted to catch but only managed to catch the very end of their set on the Axiom but it seemed as though the Brighton based trio had a great reception and we'd clearly missed a banging set. Onwards to our first full set of the weekend with ITHACA on the main stage all dressed in white and Djamila in Orange as is now tradition they blitzed through material from their latest release “They Fear Us” with a message to the UK scene for more inclusion and diversity, A solid set from a band currently at the top of their game. 
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Ithaca - Photo Credit (Gareth Bull)
Up next were Graphic Nature, admittedly a band I haven’t heard before but they definitely left an impression and I’ll be sure to catch them again in future as they chanelled their inner Slipknot and got the crowd pumped and ready to take on the rest of Thursday afternoon. 
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Graphic Nature - Photo Credit - Gareth Bull
Martha have been held in high regard in our circle of friends so I decided to pop along to see what all the fuss was about and while I enjoyed the first half of their set I found myself feeling it all a bit samey and decided to move on to catch the remainder of Svalbard's set over in the Cave, The post-metallers are very much engrained within the UK music scene by now and deliver an epic set to a packed out tent.
It’s actually surprising how many heavier bands are on the trees lineup this year and it’s Bristol's finest purveyors of doom Sugar Horse up next in the darkened Neu stage with their crushingly heavy world ending riffs before some uplifting math/post rock from Belfast’s And So I watch you From Afar who played an absolute blinder and treated the crowd to some new songs. A band that know how to whip a crowd into a frenzy guitarist Rory Friers spent a lot of time in the thick of it among the party people before we headed off into the forest for BAT SABBATH which was Cancer Bats performing a set full of Black Sabbath Classics and one of my highlights of the day as a massive Sabbath fan. 
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Bat Sabbath - Photo Credit - Gareth Bull
I ended up watching The Bronx as my headliner and did not regret my decision, having never seen them before this was a lesson in how to get crowd fired up and the tent was brimming full of energy which was unleashed in full force for the duration of their set and ended with one of our crew being taken to get his knee bandaged up following a pit injury!!!!
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THE BRONX - Photo Credit - Gareth Bull
Another hot and sweaty day on the Farm as Friday begins and we had an absolutely stacked day ahead beginning with one of our favourites The St Pierre Snake Invasion assaulting the crowd with a mix of new and old bangers on the Main Stage, having released my AOTY so far I was curious to see how the songs would translate on a bigger stage and it just works so well, definitely a band made to play bigger stages they just deserve more attention! 
Following on from that was my discovery of the weekend in Canada’s Motherhood who played a quirky set full of twists and turns that reminded me in parts of a mathier PILE. Definitely looking forward to hearing more from this trio in the future. 
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Lakes - Photo Credit - Jez Pennington
Firm bUTTONpUSHER faves LAKES performed a beautiful set full of songs from their latest album Elysian Skies in the Forest and were joined by some guests on vocals and trumpet and I genuinely think the Forest stage is one of my favourite places in all the world to watch bands.
Northern Irelands New Pagans were up next for us and it was a real nice contradiction in sounds as the raw punk rock energy from the band is on full display mixed with gorgeous vocals from Lyndsey. The Irish contingent was strong at this years trees but it was time for some Belgian action from Brutus over on the main stage and again the trio put on a fierce show as always as they hold the crowd in their hands in the blazing sunshine.
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Empire State Bastard - Photo Credit - Joseph Singh
Feeling the burn from the heat I enjoyed Empire State Bastard from a shady spot outside the tent but thoroughly enjoyed the noise from Biffy boys Simon Neil and Mike Vennart who are making the rounds on the festival scene this year ahead of the release of their debut album. We closed out our Friday in the Forest with another Irish band, The Scratch, they were easily one of our favourite bands last year but this year their set was shorter and consisted of lots of new songs which unfortunately just missed the mark with me and I feel they should have had a longer set on a bigger stage. 
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Photo Credit - Gareth Bull
Before arriving at the festival I assumed Saturday would be the more chilled out day for me but damn was I wrong. Not having a list of bands I wanted to see meant I ended up catching lots of great new music that I otherwise probably wouldn’t have known about.
I started my morning with a coffee and a bacon sandwich before heading off to see Witch Fever on the main stage, the Riot Grrrl vibe was strong and they played a rager of a set as the weather tried to make up its mind about what to do. 
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Modern Error - Photo Credit - Gareth Bull
Modern Error had an air of NIN about them which I enjoyed but quickly tired of as the sound just wasn't that great for them and so I left to go check out High Vis on the main stage where someone recommended yet another Irish band Enola Gay who brought some post punk/ hardcore action to the afternoon before it all got a bit silly with Electric Six and one of the biggest crowds I’d seen down at the main stage all weekend. 
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Electric Six - Photo Credit - Gareth Bull
Time for a quick break before we caught One step Closer and Holding Absence who admittedly aren’t really the kind of thing I’m into but both put on solid perfomances and the latter were clearly delighted to be on the main stage after playing every stage at 2000 trees now over the years.
Frozemode and Cody frost were both on fire and definite highlights on the forest stage with Frozemode enjoying some sunshine and Cody Frost playing through a set filled with torrential rain and a surprise guest appearance from Enter Shikari's Rou Reynolds, the Shikari fans all made a beeline for the front ensuring this was a set Cody Frost will remember forever.
Hundred Reasons had the misfortune of playing the main stage during the worst weather of the weekend and it all becomes a bit much so we decided to go see TSPSI for the second time this weekend as they had replaced Loathe who unfortunately had to pull out last minute. 
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The St Pierre Snake Invasion - Photo Credit - Joe Singh
Pitchshifter were a band I never managed to see growing up so off we headed for some nostalgic riffs from the Nottingham rockers who while putting on a sterling show seemed to be more obsessed with the fact they are an old band now which became quite cringey very quickly as JS Claydon showed off his “Dad Bod” - one of the bands i wish I’d seen when they were doing it the first time round instead!
Time for a hot take but American Football are not a band for a festival in my opinion, despite being great on record they just don’t keep your energy levels up enough so we left after a couple of songs and decided to close the festival out with an absolutely thrilling set from Belfast’s Kneecap who were phenomenal. The Hip Hop trio mix Irish and English language and gave fair warning to the packed forest that if you are on psychedelics you aren’t going crazy their just mixing up the two languages and to great effect. High octane energy and plenty of laughs from the two frontmen while their DJ wearing a balaclava drank cans in the background. I would highly encourage anyone to go see these lot if they get the opportunity. 
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Kneecap - Photo Credit - Joe Singh
So as we donned our silent disco headphones and closed out another year at 2000 Trees it’s say to say this was another successful year and there’s probably way more we could have written about how great this festival is, it's an absolute credit to the organisers who manage to smash it every year!
We’ll definitely be back next year!!!!! 
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twilight-resonance · 2 years
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Echoes, Inside and Out
Going to do some writing again, as promised. I’m not sure if I promised here or not. But I definitely promised in my head, at least. As ever, it’s the grounding thing, so.
Doing my best to decompress after this week. This week has been insanely busy - seriously, working straight from waking up at 6AM ‘til going to sleep at nearly midnight. One of those was the first day of my new job, and thus the long commute and such; but the rest of it has been the crazy amount of prep I’ve needed to do for it, both beforehand and afterwards. Making character creation charts for FalJL, updating the rulebook so that I can get it printed, updating my website for the new season (and restructuring it to work for the new job), answering a billion emails - I’ll get to that one in a second - all-day meetings with my assistant, another build sleepover to make more equipment, driving out to get then trailer repaired, picking up more bins and materials, etc etc etc... It’s been just absolute crazy town. So I’m a bit wrecked from it in a working sense. Need to take some time to myself to just be myself and have my own thoughts and process, which is what this is. I’m reaching the point where working is going to happen significantly less efficiently if I don’t, so...
The emails, though. That was a day. One, I don’t know how the world managed the timing on this one, but every single day that I was busy driving and in meetings all day was without fail the day that I would get a bunch of emails all at once. So I couldn’t respond to them, and they’d pile up, etc. Two, the day that I got around to responding to the second batch of them - which also happened to be the day after the first event - was just. They were coming in faster than I could respond to them. I’d reply to one, and three more would appear in my inbox. And it was like that for five hours before it finally tapered down. On the one hand, I could feel myself leveling up in emails and general communication, so to speak - slowing down and remembering small lessons here and there, about boundaries and about communicating with students’ parents specifically and so on and so forth, and practicing applying those - on the other hand, auuuuuuuuuuuuugh. It meant that I couldn’t get any planning done that day, which fucked the rest of my week up a bit. I’ve been patiently un-fucking it, and this is the last piece of that process I think, just. Ugh. 
So anyway. That’s why we’re here, and talking, and processing a bit. Had a nice morning with Hearthsnail - been our first easy morning in a week or two, and it was nice. Had breakfast out in the garden, and got to watch lots of hummingbirds going about their various business. As well as some clear-winged pollinator insect that was illuminated by the sun shining through its wings and was just absolutely glowing the way that the sun glows when you look right at it. As in, don’t, because it hurts. Super neat, though.
There was somewhere I was going with this, and I don’t remember anymore. It’s bugging me a bit. There are lots of other things I could ramble on real quick, but they don’t feel like the right call. But there was something. Hate that. 
Well, I guess I could write about how day one went. It was good. A half day, I suppose - it was just the afterschool portion rather than the class - but I headed down at the normal time anyway so that we could take some time to plan beforehand. I walked - I’ll need a name for her - let’s go with Ladyknight for now I guess - through the new equipment and the roster, and we planned out the first semester’s worth of major story beats for this location. We’ll need to do the same for the second at some point, but it was a good time. Then there was driving over, and all the school logistics and meeting folks, then unpacking and desperately trying to re-sort equipment into the new bins before players started showing up. It was a bit chaotic all told, but it went smoothly enough. So far all the kids seem interested in the new setting and world, which is a huge burden lifted from my back. There are some adjustments I’ll need to make to day flow routines for this group specifically, but I know that now and we’ll do ‘em next time. My main worry at this point is that we only got through maybe ten kids’ characters for character creation, which means we have about twice that many to get through next week. Which is... fine, but it puts us back in the story further than I’d like. It’ll be fine though. 
Definitely made the right call with asking Ladyknight to assist. There’s a lot of things she understands intuitively that make it all flow much easier. It’s funny having worked with or trained enough assistants at this point to be able to pick out a particular style and mindset very quickly. Got to start thinking about what I'll want to do about FalJL this year, if [another name I need] can’t do it; Ladyknight’s the go-to choice after that, but two weekly leagues may be plenty to put on her plate for now. After that... I don’t know. There’s someone who’s expressed interested in GMing for FalAL but wouldn’t want to do FalJL, there’s someone who has expressed interested in GMing FalJL but might not be around the whole year, there’s someone I’ve been after as a GM for FalJL right now but hasn’t been around in a long time... There aren’t any clear stand-out next choices. Things to think on. Puzzles to solve, really, is how it feels - so it’s a good thing. 
I dunno. I like people puzzles. I like working with the soft, uneven edges of people and quality rather than the hard, defined edges of quantity; and figuring out how to stack up all the qualities in the right way for them to operate at their best. The one that stands out to me (mostly as the moment I realized I enjoy that) was organizing a group of ten people such that we survived a night mission with the important things we were carrying intact. But I like doing that in other contexts, too. It’s infinitely more interesting when there isn’t one right answer, but many possible ones - a bit like trying to hit a target that’s in motion rather than stationary. Anyway. So that’s part of the interest and appeal for me.
Ah, what else. Had a fun night with my writing group the other night - don't remember if I wrote about that. Was just a happy hour after the usual writing session, but it was a good one that went on for a few hours. I know I've said it before, but it’s really nice hanging out with other writers. In the sense that, it’s people who understand how that particular creative process works and the underlying supports and mechanisms that need to go in with it; and as such who have some similar creative roots. I don’t know quite how to describe it, at least not in a way that’s short; but it’s incredibly helpful. It’s part of that being understood thing, I think. We are all sapient beings with so much depth, and we all want to be understood; and that can be hard when we have sometimes had such vastly different backgrounds and life experiences. But the experience of writing is shared, and thus so is some of the understanding. It’s good. <3
Oh! I remembered what I meant to talk about, like, four or five paragraphs up now! More new things. Dude, making friends as an adult is weird. One of Hearthsnail’s co-workers invited me to her birthday hangout with a bunch of other people from the department, and it was just that moment of realization, like. Oh. We’re friends, then. I get it now. It’s so much less clear-cut as you get older, in a lot of ways. I’m looking forward to it, though. The idea is to all do a spa day together, which is something I’d been curious about anyway, and it’ll be a fun group of people to do it with. She said no gifts, so I’m considering conspiring to get her something small and silly anyway, or at least make her a card... We’ll see. Anyway, I’m looking forward to it, in ways that are (once again) harder to express. Has to do with the way things mean - not what, but the way. Has to do with that process of reflecting on how the world comes in, and reflecting the world back out, and  then it reflecting that in turn... Something about how people become people? Again, hard to explain. Hard to describe. At least in a way that’s short. It’s the echoes of the vast distance between the inner world and the outer and how the two become melody and harmony across the years of your life. 
I was about to say - hokay, Mitholos, slow it down - but no. That’s urge is one of those reflections that come lancing back - the one that is conscious of the way you might be perceived, but isn’t always necessary. It isn’t. That was genuine, and I’m going to stand by it. That’s what I mean, when I say the self reflecting the world reflecting the self reflecting the world - it’s that process. 
It’s also to do with the way that connections flow between other people. There was a ramble I had, as some point - did I have it here? I’m not sure -about how part of what a connection between two people is, is the process of building a shared lexicon through which we understand each other better. It’s the way that any person can say “oh, it’s going” in response to “how’s it going?” - but it doesn’t always mean “I’m having a bad time”. Sometimes it means “I’ve been busy”, and sometimes it means “things are normal and steady and I don’t have anything in particular to talk about”, and sometimes it means “I’ve been very bored and unfulfilled”, and how a person is most likely to mean it is part of that shared lexicon. Again, it came to me in talking with my aunt and uncle, and realizing that we kept glancing off to the side of one another’s meanings when one person or the other would say a particular thing; because we don’t yet quite have that shared lexicon. And building that is part of becoming friends. There are other things that build too - shared experience of one another, for one - and that’s one of the other things I’m looking forward to. Being with people in a context in many ways wholly unlike what is normal, and seeing some of those other pieces of a person that don’t always come to light in a given place or time. 
So you know. That’s where I am right now, I guess. I’m enjoying my writer’s self being back again, because these kinds of thoughts come from there. It’s been a few years of looking at the world and seeing it flat in ways that I knew were false - sure, what I wrote above is just called “making friends with someone”, but there’s so much interesting and intricate nuance that gets lost in putting it like that. Though, it is more concise. But I think there’s so much worthiness and meaning in those layers and interconnections and concepts that build to the whole, and it’s worth exploring them. The world is richer, that way. 
Let’s take another turn to another current. One of the other things that has kept me busy the last few days was preparing snack for Hearthsnail’s department (it was our turn on weekly Friday snack). I thought a teatime theme would be cute, so I made some tea sandwiches and petit-fours... foolishly thinking that all the complaining that people do about making petit-fours was akin to the complaining people do about pie crusts, where it’s actually not really that bad, just at tiny bit of a pain. What an absolute fool I was. I did not know any better, but I know now. I was up until 2AM making those damned things, and I even cheated by doing store-bought sponge cake! Good lord. It was certainly something new, but never again - not without better tools, anyway. With tools meant for the job, it would be significantly less insufferable. Sounds like people appreciated/enjoyed them, at least (I actually didn't like them very much, but then again, I’m not a huge fan of fondant), but it was. Very busy. Also very challenging to do in a small kitchen that was also incredibly messy. I’m chipping away on cleaning up after it today, here and there; so it’s a start. But it was a lot.
Also validating is having people ask for recipes! People asked for tea sandwich recipes too, but I was actually thinking about players after the build sleepover. One asked for my tikka masala recipe, and the other for my wild rice soup recipe. It’s validating picking the right dishes for a group (both in terms of quantity and taste), and having them like it enough to want to make it themselves. That said, it helps that I think almost everyone we had over likes to cook - everyone volunteered right away to help with cooking, so I had to have them take shifts. It was good though.
That reminds me in turn that I’ll need to figure out what to cook for setting day... Once I decide when setting day is... Once I decide where FalAL is going to be next year... Which is its own other slough of decisions and factors. To say nothing of, I still have an event to run this weekend. Which I should be planning for. But, am doing this instead, because my brain is full-on not going to cooperate with me if I don’t do this first. Turns out processing is important, and so is taking some time for yourself. 
I think I would like to go get some lunch, though, and maybe some tea. So I’ll go ahead and do that now, I think, and stop this for the moment. Maybe we’ll go do some work, maybe we’ll decompress a little first; either way, we've got D&D in a couple hours, so we’ll need to be ready for that. It’s times. Anyway - 
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  Through the Bible with Les Feldick LESSON 3 * PART 4 * BOOK 50 Hebrews 8:11 – 9:14 - Part 2   Now as we begin this last lesson for book 50, let’s go back to Hebrews chapter 9 where we ran out of time again in our last lesson. As we teach this we see the association of the Old Testament economy as it was practiced back there first in the tabernacle, and later on in the Temple which had the same floor plan as the tabernacle. But, here in Hebrews we’re really referring to that tent in the wilderness. And then our last verse was that "all these things," the furnishings, the Day of Atonement, the bringing in of the animal’s blood, all of that was just a picture of what would be fulfilled and consummated when Christ would go the way of the Cross. So now the first word of verse 11 is what? Hebrews 9:11a "But…" Now you have the flip-side! Yes, all that was as good as it could be, BUT it had now outworn its usefulness. Now we’ve got something ‘far better,’ as we’ve been seeing all through the Book of Hebrews. Hebrews 9:11a "But Christ (after the priesthood of Melchizedek) being come an high priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, (now I’m reading this slowly) not made with hands,…." Well, if it’s not made with hands, where is it? In heaven. In the heavenlies. There is a prototype and we showed that several weeks ago, that when Moses got instructions to build the tabernacle in the wilderness, what was it patterned after? The likeness of the one in heaven. Alright, and here it is again. That this Priest, Christ, the Priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle not made with silver and gold and animal skins and linens and so forth. But with materials of the Heavenlies and only God knows what that is. My, aren’t you getting kind of homesick for Heaven? I think every believer from the young ones to the old one should be - and you know what? We had to drop a television station a while back and we had kids that were eleven and twelve years old who called and cried, literally, bawled, because they were using our program every morning in their home schooling and wanted to know why in the world we had to drop the program? Well, I’ll tell you that tears you up. But, on the other hand, it thrills us, that we do have a lot of kids listening and watching our program. A couple of years ago, Iris and I were just beside ourselves because a mother and two kids came to one of our seminars and the kids came up; one was 14, and one was 12, something like that. And they hugged us like long lost grandparents! And the poor mother was so embarrassed. And she said, "Well Les, you’ve got to remember, they watch you every morning." Well you know, that thrills our hearts that we’re not just appealing to the ‘gray hairs;’ we do have a large audience of kids, eight, nine, ten - in fact we’ve got one family, now their kids are 17 and 18 and they’ve been with us for almost seven or eight years every morning. So you keep praying that we’ll keep reaching a lot of these younger folks. But anyway, most of you understand that the tabernacle in the wilderness was made of earthly materials, but this tabernacle, this prototype, if I may call it that, is made in glory, with things that we can’t comprehend. All I know is, it’s glorious! It’s going to be beyond human comprehension. Alright, so verse 11, finishing it. Hebrews 9:11b "…by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this building;" (creation). So it’s not on this earth. Alright now verse 12, and here comes the whole meat or the substance of this portion of Scripture. Hebrews 9:12 "Neither by the blood of goats and calves, (as we just saw in the previous verses in our last program) but by his own blood (the Blood of the Cross, on Calvary as the high priest entered behind the veil with the blood of an animal. This high Priest, Christ Jesus Himself) enters into the holy place, (in heaven. In other words into the presence of God the Father.
Not with the blood of bulls and calves) having obtained eternal redemption for us." With His own Blood we have the redemption. Now I know this is all hard for us humans to comprehend but we take it by faith. How did He approach the Father in the Holy of Holies in heaven presenting His own Blood at the Mercy Seat of the Throne Room? Remember Aaron and the following priests came in behind the veil with the blood of animals, so Christ came in with His own Blood. Now I’m going to take you back to John’s Gospel for a short lesson, we haven’t done this either for a long time. I think we did it when we taught the gospel of John verse by verse. So come back with me to chapter 20 and you all know the account. How that Mary Magdalene, along with all of the other believers and followers of Jesus, had no idea that He would be raised from the dead. That fact never entered their mind, even though Jesus had told the Twelve more than once, that He would die and rise again, yet it was hidden from them, providentially of course. And so Mary Magdalene is no different and so she’s going to carry out the process of anointing the body after the burial. John 20:1 "The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, (in other words, before full daylight.) when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre." Now here comes the human element, the minute she sees that, she’s shaken to her toes and what does she do? She just turns on her heels and she runs as fast as that poor girl can run and finds Peter and John. John 20:2 "Then she runneth, and cometh to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, (whom we know was, John) and saith unto them, They have taken away the Lord out of the sepulchre, and we know not where they have laid him." Peter doesn’t say, "Well, Mary, we know! He’s not supposed to be in the tomb. He’s raised from the dead!" He hasn’t got the foggiest notion of resurrection yet, and so he’s just as shocked as Mary. John 20:3 "Peter therefore went forth, and the other disciple, and came to the sepulchre." Don’t think for a minute that was an early morning stroll. They ran! This was shocking, the tomb empty! With all those Roman guards stationed with threat of their lives if anybody would try to take the corpse. Because you know, that’s what the Pharisees did. They made sure that the Romans stationed guards around the tomb because they had heard that somebody had said He would be raised after three days and three nights, so they thought that was just a gimmick. They’d come and steal the corpse and then they’d be able to say, "See, He rose from the dead." So they purposely asked the Romans to put extra guards around the tomb. Now if you know Roman law, you know that when those men were stationed with that kind of responsibility it was with their lives at stake. And here comes Mary and now Peter and John and I don’t even see any record that the soldiers are around. They’ve either run for their lives or they’re already executed, but they’re not there. But the tomb is empty. John 20:4 "So they ran both together: and the other disciple did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre." I think this is all so practical because we’re pretty confident that Peter was quite a bit older than John and so the young man shows his athletic ability. And so John outruns Peter, and gets to the sepulchre first. But of course, John is more timid than Peter and so he doesn’t go right in. You want to remember the sepulchre was a cave in the limestone and that’s why the stone could be rolled away from the opening. And so verse 5. John 20:5-6 And he (John) stooping down, and looking in, saw the linen clothes lying; yet went he not in.(I just picture him as being a little bit young and timid.) 6. Then cometh Simon Peter following him, (now I like to bring this down to the every day. He’s probably around forty years old. And I don’t know how far he’s run but he’s been running pretty hard, so what’s he doing?
He’s huffing and he’s puffing, but he doesn’t even stop to get his breath, Can’t you just hear him? So Peter) went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie." As he looks around, he just surveys the whole scenario. Now verse 7. John 20:7 "And the napkin, that was about his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a place by itself." In other words, meticulously folded in a place by itself. This wasn’t just some ramshackle casting off of these grave clothes. John 20:8 "Then went in also that other disciple, (John) which came first to the sepulchre, (now watch this) and he saw, (the evidence and he, what?) and believed." Now what does that tell you? He didn’t know anything of resurrection before this. He knew Who Jesus was, he was a believer, but he had no concept of resurrection. Again that just tells us something. You see, to believe in the resurrection was not a prerequisite for salvation in the Kingdom Gospel. All they were to believe was that Jesus of Nazareth was Who He said He was. And that He was the King of Israel, the Promised Messiah, and that’s all. They didn’t have to believe in a death, burial and a resurrection like we do for salvation, as found in I Corinthians 15:1-4, and Romans 10:9-10 So it wasn’t necessary for Peter and John to have believed in resurrection up to this point because it wasn’t expected of them. God had kept it secret from them, as you see in Luke 18:31-34, but now when they see the evidence, they believe. Now look at the next verse. John 20:9 "For as yet they (Peter and John and I guess I can safely include Mary Magdalene) knew not the scripture, that he must rise again from the dead." Plain English. They didn’t know, but they didn’t have to know to be saved in that Kingdom economy. Now verse 10: John 20:10-11 "Then the disciples went away again unto their own home. 11. But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre," I suppose her curiosity got the best of her. What in the world caused Peter and John to exit so quickly and go? And so she looks in. Now she sees something that Peter and John did not. And what is that? Angels. John 20:12-15a "And seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain. 13. And they say unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him. 14. And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and knew not that it was Jesus. 15. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? Whom seeketh thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener,…" I have to stop right here. Why, first and foremost does not Mary recognize the resurrected Christ? Well, I have to feel the number one reason is found in Isaiah chapter 52. Why do you suppose Mary did not recognize Jesus, as He’s now standing there in human form, bodily? He didn’t have a ‘kooky’ look about Him. He looked very normal. But here in Isaiah is what she saw last before they took Christ down from the Cross. Isaiah 52:13-14a "Behold, my servant shall deal prudently, he shall be exalted and extolled, and be very high. (so we know the prophet is speaking of the Messiah.) 14. As many were astonied(astonished) at thee; his visage (or His appearance) was so marred more than any man,…" Now listen, we know that the human beings were experts at torture. All the way up through human history, they have been able to torture men beyond human comprehension, but,nobody under the most extreme torture ever had their facial appearance so distorted and so marred as Christ’s was on the Cross. Now we have to realize that, yes, He was scourged. He took the beatings that the Romans administered before He went to the Cross, and they pulled His beard, and the crown of thorns but other than that, we have nothing in the record that they beat on His face, so we have to kind of put two and two together.
What caused his visage to make him look so horrible that it was worse than any human being had ever appeared? The sins of mankind. All the sin of the world was laid on Christ as He hung on that Cross. And you and I again, in the human realm, cannot comprehend that, but I can see that this would cause that physical deforming of His very appearance. And so "He was more marred than any man and his form more marred than the sons of men." Not so much because of what the Romans had done, but because of the sin that was laid on Him as He hung there on the Cross. Alright, so now if you’ll come back to John, use just a little bit of human logic. So if the first thing that Mary would have thought of Christ coming back to life, she would have had to undertake seeing that marred face and all that went with it. But here stands Someone looking perfectly whole. Not a scar. Not a mark, except in His hands and His feet and His side. Looking at verse 15 again: John 20:15b "…supposing him to be the gardener, (which means He looked perfectly normal, not like anything bizarre at all) saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away." I will give Him the proper burial and all the ceremonial ritual of the spices and herbs and so forth is implied. Now Jesus speaks in verse 16. John 20:16a "Jesus saith unto her, Mary…." Iris and I are learning that when we’re in strange places people recognize our voice far before they’ll recognize our facial appearance and you just watch for it. I’ve given this example before. You can be in the kitchen and if your television is in the den or living room completely out of sight and if you hear a movie with someone that was maybe a great star thirty or forty years ago, you’ll recognize the voice long before you will the picture. I know I do. I can recognize a voice just immediately. Well, I think it’s typical of everybody. Well it’s the same way here. She didn’t recognize anything about Him from His physical appearance but the minute He spoke; it was voice recognition. And that’s all He had to say, "Mary," see? John 20:16b "…She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master." Can’t you just hear the excitement in that? These people are human! Just as human as we are and to suddenly realize that this was Jesus standing there in front of her alive and normal looking! No wonder she was shook. And now look what she does. John 20:17a "Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not:…’" Again, you’ve got to read between the lines once in a while and you won’t do any violence to Scripture by doing it. What was the custom even back then when you saw somebody that you hadn’t seen in a while or you were just suddenly engrossed in who they are? Well, you hug them! You all do. My, I see a lot of people and I’ve always said, I’m not a born hugger, but I see some of the rest of you and, my, you can hug! Well, listen, they were no different. So what’s she ready to do? She’s ready to give Him a bear-hug. To think that He’s alive and well and normal! But what does Jesus do? He stops her short and he says: "Touch me not." Mary, don’t you hug me. Why? John 20:17b-19 "…for I am not yet ascended to my Father: (now He’s not talking about Acts chapter 1, He’s talking about an immediate ascension right here.) but go to my brethren, (the eleven) and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God. 18. Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples that she had seen the Lord, and that he had spoken these things unto her. 19. Then the same day at evening, (Sunday night) being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you." Now where was He those eight or ten hours? In Glory! Plain as day. Alright now let’s come back to Hebrews once again and maybe this will all fall in place. Back to Hebrews chapter 9 verses 11 and 12 again:
Hebrews 9:11-12a "But Christ (Jesus of Nazareth, the crucified, now resurrected) being come an high priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, (in other words, this glorious tabernacle in the heavenlies) 12. Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place,…" He did not enter once a year, but rather, once for all eternity He entered into the holy place, that is in heaven. Not the one behind the veil as it was on earth, but he entered into the Holy of Holies in the Heavenlies, into the very presence of the merciful, gracious God, not with the blood of bulls and calves but with his own Blood. Now what does He do? When He leaves off speaking with Mary, He took some of His Blood that was shed on the Cross - I feel He literally took His own Blood and being the God that He was, that was no problem for Him to recapture some of that Blood that had fallen. He takes that Blood and He takes it right up into the Throne Room of Heaven and presents it as the full atoning Blood now, of the Cross, which was far above the animal’s blood. It was the Blood offering that all of humanity had now been waiting 4,000 years, from Adam, and now it finally happens. And now, He has totally removed the veil and we no longer have to go through all of this ritual. Now every believer has full access, without apology, into that Throne Room of heaven. Why? Because this divine Blood of Christ has now been placed on the Mercy Seat forever and ever. Alright verses 13 and 14: Hebrews 9:13-14 "For if the blood of bulls and goats, or the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, (if it could) sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh: (in that old economy) 14. How much more(oh, beyond comparison!) shall the blood of Christ, (you cannot compare the efficacy of animal’s blood with this divine Blood of Christ) who through the eternal Spirit offered himself (as the supreme sacrifice. See how plain this is? He is the atoning Blood. He is the supreme sacrifice and so) without spot to God, purged your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?" Oh, what a difference. We’re not worshipping idols of wood and stone. We’re not worshipping some manmade religion. When we come in under that shed Blood of Christ by faith in His death, burial and resurrection; we now have full access to God. We can pray to Him twenty-four hours a day and we can slip out into eternity with full assurance that we’re going into His presence.
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Boy Meets World: Pop Quiz
This was not one of my all time favorite episodes. It’s only because there wasn’t a lot going on. Cory and Shawn are doing really poorly in school until they drop by Mr Turner’s house ad accidently see the lessons plans for a pop quiz. they think they are cheating by looking at it, but they really want to know the material for the quiz so they study it anyways. They end up doing well on the test and end up learning in the end that the lesson plan had been posted in the classroom all along. Like i said, the episode just did not have a lot going on. I love all the episodes but this just wasn’t one of my favorites but of course it was still good. It just doesn’t stand out for me.
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tarydarrington · 3 years
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"Alright, everyone," Veth says with authority, and everyone else quiets down. "Tomorrow is the big day."
Caleb sighs and ducks behind his drink. There is a speech coming. This is exactly the sort of ceremony he had hoped to avoid by having this get-together at his home rather than the bar Veth had suggested. It's only five of them, tonight; Beauregard and Yasha are always in town, and Veth had insisted on coming. And Essek, of course. He's not sure when the elf's presence at his side became an of course, but in a careful way, he likes it.
“As the person in this world who cares the most about Caleb--”
Essek silently quirks an eyebrow at that, and it doesn’t get past Veth.
“Alright, come on, just because you got him into bed and I didn’t doesn’t mean--”
Caleb clears his throat loudly, and Veth’s smile snaps back into place.
“As Caleb’s oldest, dearest, truest friend,” she says, and Essek manages to look dignified even while rolling his eyes, “it is my humble duty to tell you all how amazing he is on this momentous occasion.”
“You know, I am starting a new job, not getting married,” Caleb murmurs in her direction.
“And we’re all very proud of you!” Veth replies.
Caleb takes a long drink as the others chime in with agreement. Yasha shoots him a sympathetic look, and he returns a tight smile.
“Come on, man,” Beau says from where she leans against the table, “aren’t you excited, at all?”
He takes a long breath. Excited is a word for it. Ready to vomit at a moment’s notice is perhaps more accurate. The Soltryce Academy is tricky. He’s been back there a few times in recent weeks, for interviews and preparation, and each time, it’s felt like walking through a dream of a place the mind could not quite capture properly.
For whatever purpose, Trent has always wanted Caleb - Bren - to follow in his footsteps. Those footsteps feel a touch too literal in those hallways.
“Caleb?” Beau’s voice brings him out of his thoughts. “You still with us?”
He shakes his head. "Ja. Entschuldigung. There is a lot to think about."
Veth lowers her glass, frowning. "Nobody threatened you, did they? Because I'll have words with them."
"No, nothing like that." Not lately, anyway. He sets his own drink down on the table. "Just a bit worried, perhaps."
"Worried about what?" Beau asks flatly.
Caleb lets out a long breath, looking down at the floor. Where to begin? He’s worried that everything will go wrong. Worried that he’ll turn up with his clothes on backwards, or spill coffee down the front of his shirt, or trip over his words before the lesson even starts. Worried, most of all, about what comes after.
“I hope that I will not…” He searches for the right words. “I hope that I will be able to serve my students well enough,” he settles on. “The examples I have had were, ah….” Trent Ikithon is not one he wishes to emulate.
Essek frowns. “Carve your own path,” he says. “Someone as brilliant as you are needs no one to emulate.”
“Ja, well, that is fine for throwing together a spell or two, but I imagine the students will need a little more structure.” These are young minds. Any mistakes he makes will stick with them. He, of all people, knows just how much.
“Maybe you could ask them what they want from you,” Yasha pipes up. “You know, make sure you’re doing alright.”
Caleb lets out a long sigh. “Ja, maybe. That is a good idea.” Of course, it also requires that the students in question trust him enough to give him a straight answer.
They sit in relative silence for a moment, working away at their drinks. He hopes Veth doesn’t resent him for stepping on the atmosphere.
“Seriously, man, you’re gonna be great.” Beau knocks back the rest of her drink. “You’re already the best professor I’ve ever known.”
“I do not think the owl counts as a point of comparison,” Caleb deadpans. “Regardless, I will settle for not making a fool of myself for a first impression. That will be difficult enough.”
Beau shrugs, and reaches over to refill her glass. There’s a devious look in her eye that makes him nervous. "So why don't you practice?" she asks.
Caleb looks at her warily. "Practice?"
"Yeah, man." She gestures at the others. "Here's your class. Teach us something."
Before he can object, she’s already begun to pull an armchair toward the coffee table in the center of the room. Soon enough, three more seats have joined it, all on the same side. She throws her arms wide with a challenging grin.
“First day,” she says. “Don’t be late.” With that, she flops down onto the rightmost chair.
Transfixed in bemusement, Caleb watches as Yasha and Veth rush to occupy the next two seats in the makeshift classroom. The Expositor commands a room, it seems.
“Are you comfortable with this?” Essek murmurs as he brushes past as well. “I am willing to be the, ah... wet blanket, if need be.”
Caleb sighs, briefly twining their fingers together and squeezing once before letting him go. “Not comfortable, no, but it’s not a bad idea.”
Someone wolf whistles from the peanut gallery, and Caleb turns a fond glare on them all. All three of them are, of course, the picture of innocence. He shakes his head as Essek settles down primly in the last remaining chair. It’s not exactly the picture of an academic setting, with their glasses of half-finished booze still on the table in front of them and the lot of them draped over armchairs and ottomans.
“Alright,” says Beau, who has not even bothered to put her drink down. She makes a trilling sound that he thinks is probably meant to emulate a school bell. “Hit us.”
"We will be brutally honest," Veth promises. "Which means we will tell you honestly how perfect you are."
"Or if there's anything you could do better," Yasha adds.
Caleb stares back at them. It’s nothing he hasn’t gone over in his own head a hundred times. Even once or twice, to a captive audience of cats. It’s a short class. It will be over before he knows it.
The others look up at him expectantly. Watching him. Waiting. Caleb clears his throat.
"I, ah... feel a bit silly,” he admits.
Without a word, Essek waves a hand, and the familiar faces before him shift to those of strangers.
It’s almost embarrassing how much it helps. Caleb takes a deep breath and lets it out, running through the lesson plan in his head.
"Guten Morgen, class, I am, ah… Professor Widogast." It's the first time he's said that particular pair of words out loud.
"Whoo!" the student who is not Veth shouts.
"Yeah!" the student who is not Beau chimes in.
Caleb gives them a look and straightens his coat. "This is Introductory Transmutation, in room 142, so if you are all in the correct place--"
"Professor?" The student who is not Yasha raises her hand.
"Ah, ja, Miss…"
"Lionett."
Not-Beau slaps a hand over her own mouth and mutters, “Holy shit,” into it.
“Was that too much?” not-Yasha whispers.
“Babe, it was so hot,” not-Beau hisses back.
Caleb clears his throat. "Miss Lionett, do you have a question?"
Not-Yasha seems to suddenly remember her role, and she folds her hands in her lap. "No," she says, "I have to use the bathroom."
Caleb pinches the bridge of his nose as not-Beau bites back a giggle. “Ja, okay, go.”
“Don’t let her go!” not-Veth interjects. “She knew it was almost time for class; she should have gone earlier.”
“Dude, if she has to pee then she has to pee,” not-Beau protests.
Pointedly, not-Essek raises his hand.
Caleb lets himself sigh with relief. “Ja, Master…?”
“Gross, Professor, we don’t need to know about your weird sex dynamics,” not-Beau says.
Not-Essek’s face blooms red, and Caleb presses a hand to his face to hide the same. “You know very well, Beauregard, that it is an honorific.”
Not-Beau shrugs, looking very pleased with herself as she takes another sip of her drink. Not-Essek glares very polite daggers at her before clearing his throat.
“Thelyss,” he answers.
Beau cups both hands around her mouth and boos.
“No, it’s better that he’s honest,” Veth says. “We already know he’s a terrible actor.”
“Herr Thelyss,” Caleb says, raising his voice above the heckling. “Do you have a question?”
Essek leans forward, resting his elbows on the table in a gesture that’s much too endearing. “I wondered what you will be teaching us today, Professor Widogast.”
Caleb tries not to dwell on the way the title hits differently on Essek’s voice, instead straightening up and waving one hand behind him. An illusory chalkboard appears in the air behind him to polite applause from Veth and Yasha. Back on track.
“Well, this is your first day,” he says. “So I know that - Beauregard, please remove your feet from the table - I know that most of your other teachers will be spending time going over the material that you will be covering this semester, but, ah…” What is he meant to be doing with his hands? They feel limp if they’re at his sides, but too formal behind his back and too awkward in front of him. Perhaps he should have a lectern? Somewhere to rest them, or shuffle with papers?
His gaze drifts back to his “students,” who all blink back at him expectantly. Essek inclines his head as though to prompt him on. He clasps his hands in front of his chest, hoping it will do for now.
“Right,” he continues. “Ja, so I thought we would take a look at something more practical to start. We will leave the reading for tomorrow; you have enough of that today.”
He waves his hands again, and behind him, a set of runes and diagrams appears on the chalkboard. Above it is written the word Prestidigitation.
“So, ah, partner up,” he orders. “Introduce yourselves. If there is someone on their own, a group of three is perfectly acceptable.”
“I call Miss Lionett,” Beau shouts, grabbing Yasha’s hand.
“Can I go to the bathroom, first?” Yasha asks.
Caleb gives her an incredulous look.
“I really do need to go,” she says.
He gestures towards the hallway, and she shuffles off. In the meantime, Veth and Essek scoot their chairs closer together. Caleb’s gaze lingers questioningly on Beau, who shakes her head.
“She’s not learning anything tonight, man. Go ahead.”
“Ja, okay,” he says distantly.
It feels silly, explaining the spell to this motley crew. Beau has leaned back in her chair, arms crossed, eyes glassy, clearly not paying an ounce of attention. Essek has produced a piece of paper upon which Veth occasionally scribbles, though the way he periodically nods approval at Caleb’s points betrays his own prior knowledge of the subject. After a few minutes, Yasha returns and attempts to take down notes of her own.
“Is everyone following along?” he asks after a while, knowing it’s a futile question.
“Yep,” Beau lies.
“Hmm.” Yasha hums.
“Perfectly,” Essek says.
“You’re doing amazing, sweetie,” Veth confirms with a wink.
He continues, running them through the various applications one by one. Beau gives him an occasional “uh huh” that he believes not one bit. At one point, he catches Essek take a passing glance at Veth’s paper, widen his eyes, and lean forward to murmur something to her. He isn’t sure he wants to know what that’s about.
“Let’s keep focused, please, everyone,” he reminds them.
Essek waves a hand to signal him to continue. Nothing too scandalous, then. He goes through the final few points, then comes to stop in front of the chalkboard, hands awkwardly clasped again.
“Okay, that is it,” he says. “You have as much time as you require to finish the spell, and when you are finished, I would like one person from each group to demonstrate.”
He gives the others a questioning look. It’s one of the points he’s most worried about. A way to take pressure off some of the slower students could just as easily be a way to unintentionally foster competition and resentment. But none of them objects, so he gives them another nod.
“I suppose we should skip the demonstration portion,” he mumbles.
“I can do it,” Yasha chirps. Without warning, she swings the massive greatsword from her back and sinks the tip into the table, making the others jump. “I made a small mark.”
Caleb covers his eyes with one hand. “Ja, will it go away in one hour?”
Yasha silently places her drink down over the indentation. Caleb sighs. It isn’t as though he has very many guests, anyway.
“I can probably swing producing an odor, for you,” Beau offers. “But I figure you probably don’t want that.”
He ignores her, and instead gives Essek a tight smile.
“Well, would my second group care to demonstrate?”
Beau jerks a thumb in Essek’s direction and fake-coughs to Yasha, “Teacher’s pet.”
Essek ignores her and sits back, fingers working in those little patterns he draws when something has piqued his curiosity. “I believe so,” he says, and nods to Veth.
Caleb raises his eyebrows as all eyes turn to Veth. Though Essek had the courtesy to leave her a halfling, her features and coloring are entirely different - but that wide smile as she stands and rubs both hands together would give her away, no matter the face it was set in. And as Beau swears under her breath, Yasha and Caleb look on wide-eyed, and Essek watches with a smirk, she pulls her hands apart to let loose a shower of sparks.
“You… learned the spell,” Caleb says numbly. He hadn’t imagined any of them were actually paying attention.
“It was an excellent lesson!” Veth replies.
As she takes her seat again, Beau and Yasha give her a smattering of stunned applause. Essek clears his throat pointedly.
“And I guess, maybe, Essek gave me one pointer,” Veth amends with an eye-roll.
“Hey, so your partner system worked,” Yasha points out.
It had. The lesson had worked, the procedure had worked - his teaching had worked. There’s still a little voice in his head reminding him that Veth is brilliant, and an adult, and perfectly capable of learning things like this without even so much as his help - but he can’t deny that it’s his guidance that taught her this particular spell. ‘An excellent lesson,’ Veth had said. In this moment, he’s inclined to believe it might be half true. Caleb realizes very suddenly that he’s beaming.
With a snap of his fingers, Essek dispels the disguises. The soft smile on his face - his real face, and Caleb always misses it dearly when it’s hidden - says he hasn’t failed to notice Caleb’s relief.
“Danke, all of you,” he says sheepishly, waving a hand to vanish the chalkboard.
“Thank you!” Veth says. “For the shiny new spell and for the masterclass in professoring.”
“You were really good,” Yasha agrees. “I’m, uh... I’m sorry about the table.”
He dips his head to hide the way his face is flushing. They exaggerate, the lot of them. But there is something to be said for having friends who will say such things. “Ja, well,” he says, “I am not convinced it will translate to an actual class, but I will hope.”
Beau takes another swig of her drink, wiping her mouth afterwards. “Dude, we were the worst and you still managed to teach somebody something,” she says. “Those kids have nothing on us. You got this.”
He offers her a smile, retrieving his glass from the table as Yasha, Veth, and Essek do the same. He hopes it’s true. He hopes that, separate entirely from his ability to teach them the how of magic, he will be able to keep them safe. That he will be able to keep from passing on any damage he received in his own time in those halls.
He catches Essek’s eye, and the knowing look there puts some of the anxious buzzing to rest. He will be better. He will struggle, most likely. He will stumble, inevitably. But he will give better than he got. He’s been practicing that part for years.
“To Professor Widogast!” Veth shouts, breaking him out of his thoughts.
“Professor Widogast,” the others echo, and Caleb smiles.
“To my very good friends,” he replies.
“To the hottest professor the Soltryce Academy has ever seen,” Veth shouts in response, and Caleb nearly chokes on his drink when Essek casually clinks his glass against hers with a nod.
They drink together. Caleb thinks, just a little bit, he might be excited.
-
thanks @peregrintook for reading this over and telling me it wasn't the worst thing i had ever written (in much more generous words than that), and @saturdaysky for catching me red-handed last time i deleted it and being so kind about it 💜
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ac3id · 4 years
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Plaything | 18+
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plaything 0/ ?? | part 1
pairings: yandere! bully bakugou katsuki x fem! reader
warnings: [series] blackmail, bullying, dubcon/ noncon, filming w/o consent, yandere themes, no quirks au. ALL CHARACTERS ARE ABOVE 18 YEARS OF AGE.
↪ for chapter 0: dubcon, blackmail, humiliation.
summary: by luck, you get enrolled into u.a high the best school in your town. the only catch is that the school is filled with rich, spoilt, and powerful brats who just seem to hate you, and among them, a certain red-eyed blonde dreads you the most
↪ for chapter 0: you reject bakugou’s proposal to fuck in the dirty boys' washroom so he teaches you a lesson.
— navigation
wordcount. 2k+
a/n: hello !! so this is like a little introduction to my yandere! bully! bakugou series fic. there’s also going to a lot of other bnha character mentions but the main pairing will be w/ baku n reader. enjoy!
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“bakugou, i don’t want to do this,” your voice is weak as you bite on your lower lip, trying to stop sinful moans from leaking out of your mouth. bakugo has you bent over the cold and wet sink counter, your chest pressed against the dirty marble while your skirt is flipped over your displaying your bare, perky round ass to his stalking eyes. “who are you calling bakugo?” he spanks your ass with force, making you lose your footing as your head bumps lightly against the mirror.
“sorry, master,” you answer barely above a whisper but it’s loud enough in the empty washroom for him to hear yet he makes you repeat yourself,
“what was that, brat? i couldn’t fucking hear you.” he spanks you again, his heavy hand coming in contact with your soft ass with ferocity sending you flying off your feet.
“i am sorry, master!” you exclaim a little loudly, hoping it would satisfy him. and it does. he scoffs crudely, ghosting his fingers over your pussy lips before dipping his large fingers between them and petting your dry hole. he plays with your cunt, stroking his fingers lovingly over your little pearl, gathering wetness as he slips one finger into your hole. pumping them in and out at a slow pace. he takes his time, building up your orgasm while laughing wickedly as you try to hold in your moans. his fingers inside your cunt increase their pace as your juices start dripping down to your thighs,
“you said you don’t want this?” while his right hand destroys your cunt, his other hand wraps around your small neck. grasping it lightly, making it harder for you to breathe. “why are you dripping everywhere like a slut? hm?”
he had pulled you aside from regular classes, declaring them boring as fuck and that he wanted to do something much better like; fucking you in the boys' washroom. you denied, you told him no. you wanted to attend the lesson and besides skipping with him wouldn’t be any good to you. he was not kind to you, he was a meanie. he still insisted; telling you it’s fine, he knows the material. he can just tutor you later. no harm done, see? see?
if there was anything you hated more than being stuck in the prestigious u.a. high where everyone seemed to be out for your blood was spending time with bakugo katsuki. and being with him alone was another nightmare. he hated you. you didn’t know why, he’d never say why. you just assumed it was because of that one time you accidentally spilled coffee on him or maybe it was just because you breathed. honestly, both seemed favorable in this situation.
after many failed attempts of convincing you to come with him, he gets fed up. he pulls out his phone and shoves it into your face. his screen displays pictures of you which he had taken before and the ones which you had sent him. they are all lewd shots. pictures of you sucking him off while looking into the camera with glassy eyes illuminated the screen and as you swiped right it changed to another with the same background, lighting, and angle but the only difference being that your face was now covered with his seed while you posed for the camera with an innocent smile.
a look deeper into his gallery and you find your nudes which bakugo had forced you to take. it was necessary for you to be naked with your tits and ass being visible, he also wanted to see your face and would never settle for anything else. he never settles for anything without your face in it, makes you take those shots again and again until he’s satisfied with the results. he saves them, all of them. even the ‘bad ones' have been screenshotted and saved onto his phone for his personal use. he never tells what he uses them for but you don’t need to hear it from him. you already know he’s jerking off to each one of them every night before he goes to sleep.
it’s funny, anyone could take a look at those pictures and find out they are not photos exchanged between lovers. your expressions- no matter how hard you try, you always end up looking like you want to cry. there’s fear in your eyes and it just doesn’t feel authentic. it looks forced. like someone had put a gun to your head while you sat and took them. and well, that’s not a far-fetched idea.
he promises these are for his eyes only, “no one else gets to you like this. you are mine.” his words exactly but when his friends also start staring at you with lust-ridden eyes, you can’t help but question his words.
he blackmails you into coming with him. threatening he’d leak those pictures all around the school if you didn’t come with him as if he hadn’t already. as if your compromising photos weren’t already saved in all of your classmates’ phones anyway. bakugo should give himself a pat on the back, he’s such a great actor!
“for someone who doesn’t want this,” his demeaning, rude voice pulls you back from the dreamland you were trying to escape to. he forces you nearer to your edge, tiny whimpers leave your lips accompanied with loud moans as his fingers brush deliciously against your sweet spot. your precious cunt greedily pulls him in deeper and deeper, inviting him graciously into your womb but unfortunately, his fingers aren’t that long. but you know what is?
“you sure are dripping like a whore.” with every whimper which leaves your supple lips, bakugo feels himself get harder. his pants tighten as a bulge starts straining against his expensive, pleated bottoms. the hand prettily choking your neck detaches itself leaving you inhaling puffs of air as he works his pants off his hips. as you hear the rattling of his belt coming undone, a loud cry enough to draw attention from others outside of the room leaves your throat.
it catches bakugo off guard but nonetheless helps him get even harder, he likes to make you cry and get off to it. “why are you crying, bitch? it’s not doing you any favors here.” his fingers rub against your swollen, little pearl while lining up his fat cock to your blinking hole. “please, bakugo, don’t. i will do anything, anything else. just not this, i’ve never done this before.” you sound pathetic. your voice breaking with every word you utter. big, fat tears rolling down your cheeks while you ugly cried. bakugo almost feels sorry.
but in all honesty, he really couldn't care less about you. all your whining and crying only incite him further as ruthless ideas to break you down flood his mind. the kindest so far being him taking you right here and now but, but a sudden flash of seeing you utterly broken and in misery flashed before his eyes and he couldn’t let go of it. he wanted to see you tremble much more than you were right now. he wanted to see you cry much more than you were crying right now. Maybe he did hate you, he always pushed you around like you were his little pet of some sort to prove a point- that he is better than you. he is superior, you must respect him. you should kiss the ground he walks on, you should let yourself be his little plaything. then maybe, he’ll let you loose? who knows, he might just get even more obsessed.
as he watches you cry beneath him, your pathetic whimpers reverberating off the marble walls, a wicked idea pops into his head. he pulls his dick away from your exposed hole instead, replacing it with his fingers like before. “fine, brat.” his voice is softer, it surprises you. was he not going to rape you after all? “just because you said anything.” there it is again, the edge in his voice that makes you regret what you said. now, you know he has something worse planned for you. but it’s too late, you can’t go against your word now. you said anything, get ready to do anything. “stop squirming, i’m trying to make you cum. god knows whether you can even do that for yourself.” you most definitely can.
"a bitch like you needs someone to do everything for her.” again, you are probably the most independent student in the whole school,
“am I right, princess?” you are so wrong. “yes, master.”
no matter how crude and humiliating his words were and how much you hated his voice, you still found yourself clenching around his fingers almost ripping them off. your cunt squeezed his digits tightly as the coil building in your stomach tightened. moans of his name echoed all over the room as you felt yourself come closer. bakugo was taking his time playing with you, drawing you out making your release painfully slow as a form of revenge. you begged for him to play with your little clit so you could achieve ecstasy but he was too petty. after minutes of agonizing you to the point, there were tears streaming down your face and drool escaping your lips, falling onto the wet counter. he finally decided to flick his finger against your hardened bud. rubbing tight circles, he played with it aimlessly until he felt the gush of wetness around his fingers and the high-pitched scream which left your mouth as you came. his other hand pumped his still-hard cock. he was still pissed that he wouldn’t be able to cum inside you but it was fine for now. he had something much brutal set up in his mind for his plaything, he was aware that what he was planning might completely destroy but he figured it was worth it. much better to have a mindless slave who lives to fulfill her master’s wishes anyway.
he lets go of you, backing away with his hard cock still out and aching for relief. the huge head blushed red and leaking with pre, too bad he won’t get to finish inside of you yet. you quickly walk away from him, bending forward to search for your discarded panties. bakugo grunts at the sight of your wet pussy presenting itself to him, riling him up even more than he already was. He wastes no time pumping his cock at the sight of your exposed bottom, gasp and groans of pleasure escaping his lips,
“oi, what the fuck are you doing?” he asks, catching you sliding your panties on your legs. you turn around to face him, face burning when you are met with him stroking his cock at your movements. your eyes almost can’t leave the sight of his leaking cock, hard and begging to be played with and as much as you to admit it; it lights a fire inside you.
“stop fucking staring, you’re making it worse,” he growls and you immediately turn your eyes to his face. he smirks, “what? do you want it now? too bad, it’s too late,” he taunts. his eyes trail your body, eyebrows furrowing when he looks down your legs. “who told you to wear them,” he points at your panties between your legs. you give him a confused look, “you’re not allowed to put them on. give them to me,” he commands and panic crosses your eyes. you hesitate for a moment, debating whether you should listen to him or not. his fists clench as he glares at you, sending shivers down your spine, “what are looking at! give!” he speaks louder this time in a demanding tone as if he was scolding a little child who had picked up something from his office. your fingers tremble as you reach out to give the pink fabric to him, “leave.” what? you look at him in confusion. your big, doe eyes racking fear and anxiety. you wait for him to laugh or make a sarcastic remark about how gullible you are but it never comes. instead, he wraps your cotton panties around his cock, right in front of you, and begins jerking himself off. you are disgusted and petrified by his shameless actions, “what are you standing here for? leave. remember you said anything?” yeah, so you did. and you regret it already.
your legs tremble as you walk towards the door, pushing it open and peaking your head to check for people in the hallway. once you find it empty you walk out to the outside before sparing one last glance inside the dirty washroom. you hope for bakugo to call out to you, call you back but all you see is him cumming thick ropes into your panties while his eyes are screwed shut in ecstasy. yeah, you weren’t getting those back.
with shame and defeat written all over your face, you make your back to your classroom. your face is heated with embarrassment and humiliation as you remember you are walking around practically naked just an accident away from flashing yourself to anyone who cares to see. for the better half of the day, you walk around tugging your skirt as low as it can get. you don’t see bakugo for the rest of the day as he leaves you alone but when you do catch his eyes for a second or two, the wicked grin stretching over his features is hard to miss. He knows exactly what he is doing.
just as the day is about to end, he walks behind you squeezing your bare ass from under your skirt managing a surprised shriek from you when you feel his warm palms caress your ass pervertedly, “cute.” he whispers in your ear before turning you around and pinning you the wall. his fingers slide up your thighs moving closer to your cunt. warm digits graze over your slit earning a gasp from you, “come over, I will tutor you on the subjects you missed.” he kisses your neck, “come just like this.” he spanks your ass lightly before he leaves you be. his words are absolute and you know better than to disobey him, all of this was happening because you disobeyed him. you gather your things and walk up to his dorm room dressed just as you were before: in your school shirt, blazer, skirt, and no panties just as he wants it. when you arrive in his room you are met with his entire friend group sitting there with their books and pencils out. kaminari, kirishima and sero are not as surprised to see you as you are to see them. they greet you with happy faces which you return with a light smile.
“hey,” bakugo says with a smirk, guiding you to sit between sero and kirishima. between them the two humongous men, you feel like a child. with kirishima being tall and muscular and Sero being tall, lean and surprisingly packing a few too, makes you feel like a dwarf. you feel small and tiny in their presence and they very much notice it, sending knowing looks to one another while bakugo tries to tutor you. you know something’s up.
not a lot of studying takes place as kirishima grows impatient and slides his hand under your skirt and settles it over your cunt, rubbing his fingers on your pussy lips, occasionally pressing them on your clit. sero flips your skirt displaying your naked cunt to peering eyes. kaminari whistles, “wow, she really wasn’t wearing anything the entire day,” he comments. with one hand, Kirishima captures your wrists behind your back and pushes you on his lap. sero holds your legs to prevent you from squirming around like a dead fish, trying to break free. “so who goes first?” kaminari asks, walking over to you and crouching at your level. kirishima holds tightly with him seated on bakugo’s bed, kaminari flashes you a charming smile before his fingers run to unbutton your t-shirt, pulling your tits out of your bra. he tugs on one of your nipples while kishima’s large digits tugs on another.
“obviously me, dumbass.” bakugo barks coming closer to you. tears prick at your eyes as you beg him to stop, you tell him you’re sorry and that you will never disobey him ever again but he’s too far gone. the other men in the room might feel a little shitty about what they were going to do but there is no remorse in bakugo’s eyes. he looks at you like a predator looks at his prey, stalking about to pounce at any given second, “shut up, whore. you asked for this.” tears break loose as kirishima starts spreading your legs on command. wandering fingers rubbing at your pussy, trying to get you ready are forced to stop as bakugo declares that it must hurt for you. he wouldn’t have it any other way.
“you know you should have never said no to me right? be grateful for what’s being given to you, you’re our little plaything. a cute, little slut. you don’t get to say no,” his rough fingers grab at your jaw, prying it open as he spits in your mouth. “now just shut up and take our cocks, okay?” you cry out yes but he’s not satisfied. His hand strikes against your face, your cheek stings with burning hot pain as more tears leak out of your eyes. grabbing your face harshly, he lifts it up so you’re facing him, “okay?” he repeats. you calm your breath before answering him, fear and anxiety fucking you up in dread for what’s to come.
“yes, master,” you say in the most submissive voice you make out.
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supernova-cas · 3 years
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so @itsinjustbeing made this post and @mochadean added the tags and I wrote a little thing about Dean studying for his GED. 
The humidity surrounded him like a thick coat, seeping into the kitchen through the window screens, barely held at bay by the old fan whirring about two inches from Dean’s face. He wiped at his face with one hand, the other pushing down at the page he was reading, trying to stop the flapping page from flying away and taking the prep book with it. He was just on the verge of finishing the chapter, pen between his teeth as he ran his finger down the page when he heard the car pull up. Within moments he was up, the book flipped over and shoved far away from him, his own hands around a half-assembled rifle. By the time the screen door slammed shut he looked, for all intents and purposes, like he was just taking care of his weapon.
It was a moment before he heard the tell-tale sound of Bobby’s thick boots scuffing the floor and he sagged slightly, the tension draining out of him even before Bobby came into the kitchen and spoke
“You can put that down, boy, it’s just me.” He came in, groceries on one arm, a takeout bag on the other. “Brought dinner. Get your shit off the table and we can eat.”
“Thanks.” Dean put the rifle down sheepishly, and picked his book back up. He piled it up with the notebook he’d been writing in, the three different pens and the odd blue highlighter Bobby had found in a drawer somewhere that made up his studying tools. He dropped them down on the couch before coming back to join Bobby.
They ate in a comfortable silence for a bit before Bobby spoke up.
“I told you this morning. Your dad’s halfway across the country, he’s not coming back for another few weeks. Trust me, there’re plenty of jobs up there, and he’ll want to take them.”
“Yeah, I know.” Dean answered around a mouthful of food. “I know that, he called last night.”
He’d picked up the phone, listened to John tell him about the job he was on, coughed a few times into the phone to try and make it convincing. Bobby had been skeptical of his plan at first, pretending to be sick to get the few weeks off without John realizing what he was doing. But Dean knew his father well enough to realize the moment Dean wasn’t going to be helpful John would be happy to drop him on anyone who’d take him, and understood him well enough to know that despite Bobby’s comments to the contrary Dean’s father wouldn’t get too worried when that sickness extended longer than a week or so. He chalked it up to his father wanting him to be tough. Trusting that Dean could handle whatever came after him, be it vamp or virus. It was a sign of his father’s trust in him and of course that only made what he was doing worse.
“So, there’s no reason to go throwing books about.” Bobby said.
“Yeah, I know.” Dean repeated.
Bobby looked like he was going to say something else but thought the better of it. Neither of them was very good at talking, but both of them understood the full unsaid conversation that hung in the air between them. Dean looked away, around at the cluttered room, down at the scratched table, anywhere but Bobby’s face. They lapsed into their regular silence until it settled again, back to comfortable.
Dean crumpled the trash up when they’d finished, throwing it out while Bobby took out a six pack and took one out. Dean reached for one, getting his hand slapped away.
“You done with what you wanted to do today?” Bobby asked in a tone that made it clear he knew what the answer was going to be.
“No.” Dean said it anyway, slumping back in his chair.
“Well then.” Bobby stuck the rest of them in the fridge.
Dean rolled his eyes but retrieved his books from the couch anyways, setting himself back up at the table and trying his best to refocus. It was hard, his mind kept trying to run in a million different directions, all directly away from the path the book was trying to take him. He’d been doing alright before but his mind had taken the break as a cue to shut down all functions responsible for understanding the numbers on the page and how he was supposed to be solving them.
This was why school was Sammy’s thing.
Still, Dean wanted to do this. He didn’t know why, knew he could never defend his case for it, but Dean wanted his GED. Even if right now his brain was fighting him about it. It wasn’t that he was stupid, he picked up on most the lessons in school easily enough when he was able to attend and even studying on his own, when he was able to keep his head down, when he got really drawn into the material, he was able to do fine. But now, suddenly he was faced with the practice questions and half of what he thought he’d known had flown right out of his mind. Fuck. Maybe he was stupid.
He sighed, flipping back through the chapter, trying to pin the knowledge back down, lock it up so it couldn’t fly away again. He was vaguely aware of Bobby working the phones in the background, his voice melding into the rest of the background noise, mixing with the old fan, the creaky chair he kept moving about in, the mosquito who was always just out of reach. Suddenly that whine was all he could focus on, unable to force his attention on anything else. He reread the same paragraph twice without taking anything in, the persistent droning impossible to ignore. He pushed his chair back, determined to find it and put an end to it. He tried to swat it but it was quick, darting out of the way every time. He waited another moment, until it seemed settled on the table before he swung his book down, crushing it with a loud, heavy thud!
For a moment there was blessed silence.
“Dean? What’s going on in there?” Bobby called from the other room.
“Nothing!” he answered back. “Mosquito.”
“So ya killed it with a hammer?” Bobby asked, coming back in. He took a moment to take in the scene. Dean, standing above the table, frustrated frown still on his face, the book slammed down onto the table face down, the back flipped over to reveal the past owner’s graffiti. He stared for about a second before he picked up the book, shut it and put it aside. He walked over to the fridge and took out another couple of beers, offering one to Dean.
“I didn’t finish.” Dean said.
“You’re finished for tonight.” Bobby said, gesturing for him to take it.
“You don’t think I can keep going?” Dean asked.
“I don’t think you should. You’ve been at it all day; you’ll be at it tomorrow. You’re not getting anything more done tonight.”
Dean took it wordlessly, stepping out of the kitchen out onto the back porch. Bobby followed after, sitting on the bench pressed against the wall.
“This is stupid.” Dean said finally. “This whole thing, me trying to study for this, lying to my father, it’s stupid. I can’t do this. I shouldn’t be doing this.”
Bobby waited until he was finished, taking a long drink.
“You done?” he asked. “With that little pity party of yours?”
“It’s not a pity party!” Dean turned back to face him. “I can’t even study properly, couldn’t even finish the section today.”
“So, you’ll finish it tomorrow.” Bobby answered. “You’ve been studying non stop since you got here, got your head bent over that book and takin a break right now aint gonna undo that. It’s just gonna let you focus tomorrow.”
“And if it doesn’t? If I fail, and this whole thing was just a waste?”
“Then we’ll do this all again I guess.” Bobby shrugged. “Listen boy, you’ve had a lot of stupid ideas. This is one of your rare sensible ones, don’t go screwin it up now by just giving up.”
Dean just shrugged, cracking open his beer and sitting down next to him. Between the two of them hung his agreement, his apology and his gratitude. Between them hung Bobby’s support, his acceptance.
Tomorrow he’d keep studying. Next week he’d take the test. And then it’d be over or they’d do this all again.
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